Memoirs of a Thug - Prisons Foundation


Memoirs of a Thug - Prisons Foundation
To: Safe Streets Art Foundation
From: Rhonshawn Jackson#GW-4530
10745,Route 18
Albion,Pa 16475-0002
To Whom It May Concern,
Enclosed is my %autobiography of my life titled "Memoirs Of A Thug". I swear
by penalty of perjury under 4904 U.S.C.A. regarding false statements, that I wrote this book
and that every word of it is true and exact and written by me and sent to you in it's orignal form. I,Rhonshawn Jackson#GW-4530 am indeed the creator and author of this book titled
"Memoirs of a Thug".
With that being said,I would like to say that I am in the hole on Restricted Release Status
indefinitely and I am unable to send a SASE at this time but would appreciate it if someone
could take the time out 2 notify me when my book is placed on the website so that I can
send people to the site 2 read it. I know that you have alot on your plate but if you could
be understanding enough to recognize my current situation it would be appreciated alot if
you could do that and send me some type of conformation to let me know that when my book
is up on the site. Again,thank you!
In closing,I would also like to thank you and whoever is helping with this company for
creating a vehicle for those behind the wall to be heard without having to worry about being
ripped off or having our work stolen from us. The average company tries to exploit and take
advantage of us but I read the brochure with your company and finally we have a means to
share our talent with the rest of the world without being victimized and I just wanted to
tell yall Thank you and we really appreciate this oppurtunity that you and your staff have
presented us with..Agagin Thank you!
I followed all of your guidelines which were relatively simple and I pray that I'm successful in my vision. Take care and GOD Bless! ONE!
Last Of A Dying Breed,
—Rhonshawn Jackson-
P.S."Just as I was finishing this letter up,someone offered me a SASE that they didn't need.
GOD works in mysterious ways,huh?"....
Book Title: Memoirs of a Thug
Author of Book: Rhonshawn Jackson
Date Book Written: Originally written
2008 and got revised on 12/3/15.
Prison Address: Rhonshawn Jackson#GW-4530
10745,Route 18
Albion,Pa 16475-0002
Type of Book: Non—Fiction,
About The Book: Memoirs of A Thug is a brief autobiography written by author Rhonshawn
Jackson. This story is about one of Philadelphia's most respected thugs that came from
nothing and against all odds fought through poverty and misery in order to mature into his
own ma*. In this memair,Rhonshawn Jackson shares some of the trials and tribulations that
he expUrienced in life,his views on Black on Black crimes,Prison,the treatment of the Blackwomangiy Blackmen,and a host of other topics. This book diagnoses what it feels like to
be an Underdog surviving in the streets while becoming a product of an poisonous,tozic
enviroMent,and going to prison and re—educating himself only to discover that everything
that he had been taught about life was wrong. This story is authentic,real,and every reader
can relate to it. It's a page turner that will have you laughing,crying,thinking,and enjoying
alot of his original poetry that is included..This is a warrior's story that needs to be
told and Rhonshawn Jackson is a byproduct of every battlefield that he was placed on....
This book is dedicated 2 . all of the hoodlums and thugs around the world; All of the underdogs that this world slept on and stepped on; All of the countless Black lives thmt we
have lost 2 police brutality; All of the Beautiful Slack sines that think they are unpretty
because they don't fit societies' definition of Beautiful; All of the countless Blackmon
and Bleoltwomen that over populate prisons all across the country due 2 being caught up
in an oppressivearejudicialond biased judicial syStes that preys on people living in
poverty stricken circumstances; All of the people around the world that have 'endured racism
and oppression and continue 2 stand up end fight against it even at the coat of death!"
All of the people around the world that are dying due 2 fighting 2 make their circumateaces
better 4 themselves and their loved ones; All of those young Black m y th that are being
token away from their families and,placed in adult prisons due 2 this oPPressiviitcountry
wanting 2 enslave and profit off of these youth instead of coming up with, 0 reilf,solution
2_the problems these youth are having; All of the Blackmon and BlackwomeO that have been
diarespected,violated,dehumenised i end degraded by a raciskropnrossive- gnerd while they
were locked up and wasn't in a position 2 fight beck!' All of the younger hoodlums and
thugs that are coming up after mea put it down 4 yell so you would have a blueprint 2
fCllow and know that just because you nib. bors in sons picked . up circumetences,if you
believe in yourself strong enough therianything eaultappent; But most of eil ithis book
4 4 me, It's a story that needs 2 be toll because it's keerikkka l s story told through
the eyes of an underdog,thug,hoodlum,or whatever society deems 2 label us these days.So
this book is dedicated 2 struggle and adversity end all of the people that overcome theism.
First and foresee/4 weans' thank COD . 4 never giving up.on . -„se even at times when I gays
up on dis b and 4,iiviag me fortitude and faith because without it I Wouldn't have mode
As this far . As Pit ris mains individual asaii.Pm net soil* to do- that betas* if I miss
one name then
Slane feel bad. , So what I'm ping to say is that everybody that stuck
by me and thawed loteotockectlithje. to.tha.snetand ress*Mad loyal 2 a thug, than you
know who you are and this ona-AS*A1400,
I wont 2 give a special shout out my Mother-MsoDebre Jackson. Momol love you 2 death
first firS*1*Ass**dassAttAl
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' tat but not lesstft.Winme akoutout 441.41 the people that doubted seoalept on me,
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rstilirethiams in the streets and MO* lOra for his PUU*;40 tried 2 love 41 Haw
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and he didn't have a *WAS with kee0100 On Wows- For eons resoog io areasTpell gain,
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Oa this particular weekend time this oinuratily trandiattia
_i *uni t at her edit in the
Srplenna and Jordatbst had it her -2 the spot, So his aney_hie bean wood Pike tida*O0od
the Oar and had his tied 10 in my grandmothers spot. Ohio my morn en* hose she walked
its* ti2 the at4A14 of theta torturing the guys Joriiedatthan pallid el sin net end pat
it 2 the Ms bead and 00/ 4 nY Oas that it's her cell. My torn batt y* Judo* not 2 kill
the add 2 1st hi. go but Jordacha.sesid that he had 4 aPelemeite fitstiowitosk the
tap. off of theIaii. scuth and theirw swollen lips abajpfrapologigad 2 my saes,
My ma saw bee ruthless Judith* was first head imildt**444' it heat nottiell him
that she as inlay* and measibil with to Oka *so esiitlfrittless and wettliA t 4 beck daya
from arose* But somehow tiordaeba found out and they triattapt E40 up unsuccessfully
one night) but now 1E0,w on point and knew that SOY were attar hies latte - same inweitigo.
'sips of his owastelound out that not only Wiley,sok chestialoar him but she was Oar.
hr Jordon* tete lesi ..2 than fighting that night. Later on that va024.140 Want 2
sa 10th and plan and spa** 0110 'ordeal* and toll his that COP was in then
1101 Antis and lik. antnidtsi Ss on ki*wareet and etaltii his sereaSsen times. tap
las** thee the whole time *at dilii ii.lakup_ois hitt IthiCiay that story is talked
about * Soon Sitar thatelordache shot.* man and almost kill ed hie and tot 10410ed ems MY
projects to 11th
as took this espirtuatti t break away from him *steered out Of the
on sapeasbor 24+
and Tag* with Cap *Si then moved back 2 the projects whets I was
that( first child
* bon is his beertsahsa I ass out healthy IsP lanc e like I was his owned boo
been a father 2 me ever since.
My mother didn't tell my real father that she had me while he was in jail but he heard
about her having a baby. Jordache came home from jail when I was two years old and we
was still living in the projects,and my mom was about 2 have my sister Lakim at the time
by Kap. Still harboring ill will 2wards Kapaordache tried 2 ambush him again but my aunt
Watusi(R.I.P.),Jordache's sister,stopped him. After my mom had my sister we moved back 2
11th and Tioga. At this particular time,my mom was experimenting with crack and alcohol
throughout her pregnancy with my sister,which lead 2 my sister being born with poor vision
and needing special glasses so she could see. tap got worst with his addiction as well but
kept a job so that he could support his family. By the time that I was 3 years old,my mom
had my little brother Donny and tap would hire babysitters 2 watch us but my mom used 2
beat the babysitters up and take us from them. The only one that she was cool with was Ms.
Tangy. She beat up everybody else and tap would have 2 come and get us from over friends
houses that she left us at. Then one day my mom left out 2 go chase down some drugs and
Donny started crying. Usually when Donny cried I would give him some of the cream from the
middle of the oreo cookies on top of the refridgerator and he would stop crying but this
particular time it didn't work.
The neighbors heard Donny crying and called the police. Once the police came and knocked
on the door I didn't know what 2 tell them so I stayed quiet. While they were trying 2 get
in the door,Kap broke through the back door cuz' one of the neighbors had called him at
work and told him that the cops was at the house so he rushed home only 2 discover that
once again my mom had left us by ourselves after running the babysitter off. So tap opened
the front door and tried 2 explain 2 the cops that he had everything under control but the
neighbors had already told the cops that my mother leaves us in the house by ourselves all
of the time,so the cops took us 2 the Department of Human Services office. tap was crushed!
This literally broke his heart! We were the only thing in this world that kept him sane.
The only thing in this world that put a warm spot in his cold heart and he couldn't believe
that we were being taken away from him.
He called my grandmother,Mary Wilder,who lived in Mt.Airy on 77th and Ogontz and told
her what had happened and she rushed 2 the DHS office and pleaded with them 2 keep us 2gether
and not 2 separate us and they granted her wish. I was hurt! I didn't understand why we
had 2 go with these other people and I didn't understand why my parents was letting them.
It didn't . make sense 2 me how a complete set of strangers could just tell U what 2 do with
your kids and U allowed them 2 get away with it. It just didn't make any sense 2 me. I was
the oldest,Kim was 2 years old,and Donny was a baby. I felt so alone..I felt like everybody
that I once trusted and loved had abandoned me.
Emotionally I had 2 accept that I would indefinitely be taken away from my family and
those that I loved. Yes,it may have been an dysfunctional family but it was still my family
and all that I had at that time that I could call my own and now it was being taken away.
A small fire of anger developed inside of my heart 2wards white people because this white
man,who was just ordering 4 me and my siblings 2 be taken away from our family,had the nerve
2 coma up 2 me and tell ms that everything would be okay. How would he know when he's going
home 2 his family 2nite after he just kidnapped me from mines? I felt disappointed in my
family also because everybody is telling us that they love us but nobody is stopping this
shit from happening! Mentally,I just prepared 4 what lied ahead and knew that I had 2 stay
strong 4 my sister and brother.
My grandmother Ms.Mary,rode with us 2 the foster home. It was a lady named Ms.Corrin.
She appeared sweet and humble on the outside but I would soon learn that everything that
glitters isn't gold. While the DRS lady and my grandmother was there,Ms.Corrin was soft
spoken and gentle,but as soon as they left the house she showed me who she really was. She
had three boys of her own that were eight,ten,and twelve. These guys were the worst! They
immediately went through our bags and began taking what they wanted from them. One of them
saw Donny's gerber juices and started drinking them and I ran up on him and punched him
in the face and him and his brothers jumped me but I fought hard! I fought so hard that
we almost tore up everything in the kitchen which caused Ms.Corrin 2 come 2 the kitchen
2 see what was going on. When she came 2 the kitchen and saw us fighting I thought that
she was gonna break it up and find out what was going on but instead she grabbed a broom
and started hitting me with it! My sister Kim started crying 4 them 2 stop hitting me and
one of the boys pushed her on the ground which made me even madder and I didn't even care
anymore after that. They beat on me badly but I didn't give up.
This went on 4 about two weeks and one weekend my grandmother came 2 visit us with
my aunt Tonia and when they hugged me I winced in pain and my grandmother lifted up
my shirt and saw black and blue bruises all over my body and broke down crying. My grandmother drove back 2 Ms.Corrin's house and my aunt had 2 hold her back 2 stop her from fighting that lady. The next week the DHS social worker came and moved us 2 a new foster home
on both and Webster. The foster . ladies name was Ma.Macon. Their was a lady and her daughter
that lived there tOo named Malaina. Malaina was hands down one of the most beautifullest
girls that I had ever saw in my life! I was four years old and Malaina was seven years old.
Ms.Macon had her two grandkids over there named Tameka and Jonel. Tameka was 17 years old
and Jonel was 14 years old. They introduced themselves 2 me and went upstairs. The foster
lady talked with my grandmother and Malaina came and introduced herself 2 me and asked me
was I going 2 be living with them and when I told her yes she just smiled at me and walked
My grandmother and the foster lady finished talking and she pulled us 2 the side and told
us that she loved us and that she would visit us as much as she could. She gave us a big
hug and then left crying. The foster lady called Tameka and Jonel and told them 2 show us
where our rooms was and 2 help us with Our stuff. Once we got settled in we went hack downstairs and talked with the foster lady who told me that I would have 2 get enrolled in school
soon. The foster lady also lived with her mother who we Called grandma. For a couple months
everything was going smooth and I felt like this just might work. Until one day the foster
ladies sons and daughters came over and I noticed how we were referred 2 as the foster kids
that the state was paying her 4 and I didn't like it cause it felt like we were aliens or
something. Unbeknownst 2 me was that the foster lady also ran a daycare and the kids that
she watched came over. It was 2 boys and 2 girls named Jamal,Kareem,Kareema,and Jameelah.
Jameelah was a big girl but she was incredibly beautiful with long pretty hair like Tatiana
Ali.Again,when they came we were introduced as the foster kids and I got fed up and told the
foster lady that I didn't like it when she did that and she backhanded me so hard that my
lip busted open and wouldn't stop bleeding. She then took this belt out and started beating
on Me relentlessly and I tried 2 grab the belt out of her hand and she pushed me 2 the ground
and beat me even worst. After she was done she sat down and told me 2 go upstairs 2 my room.
When I got upstairs,Malaina was in my room and just hugged me and told me not 2 worry about
it. I was so mad that I started crying and Kahane just held me in her arms and told me
2 calm down. She then took me 2 the bathroom and wet a rag and wiped my face with it and
we went back in2 my room. Me and Malaine got tight after that and I trusted her. She always
had my back no matter what. She lived with us 4 a couple years and by the time that I was
seven and she was ten years old,we were playing house. Malaina would always be the mommy
and I would be the daddy. She taught me how the daddy is supposed 2 kiss the mommy and how
I should grind on her. She used 2 pull her panties down and pull my_drawers down and we
used 2 grind up against each other. She told me that was how the daddy made mommy happy.
I look back at that shit now and I realize that Malaina saw Something that she wasn't
supposed 2 see at ten years old but she was so fucking beautiful that I ain't even care!
We used 2 play house alot and she wanted me 2 make mommy happy slot. One time we was on
the front porch and Malaina wanted 2 grind on me and I told her we can't do it outside on
the front porch cause it's 2 many people walking by. 34 I knew it,she reached in2 my drawers
and rubbed my dick and kissed on my neck and the next thing I know is we were underneath
of the table on the front porch,butt naked,grinding on each other! A man walking by saw
us and went and told the foster lady and Malaina's mom and they whooped our ass! They tried
2 keep us separated but we would still find a way 2 sneak off somewhere and kiss and grind
on each other. One morning when I was putting the howls on the table 4 breakfast,Malaina
snuck in the kitchen and we was at it again,but I didn't know that Jameelah had gotten dropped Off early. Jameelah was eleven years old at the time and she liked me but I never gave
her any play because of Malaina. But this particular morning she had got dropped off early
and walkedin on me and Malaina. She caught us ass naked in the kitchen! I told Malaina
about taking all of our clothes off but she always wanted 2 get ass naked b4 we did anything.
Jameelah was cool though and she just looked at me and said "I ain't see nothing" and walked
out of the kitchen.
I was scared 2 death and hurried up and got dressed. At breakfast time I sat next 2 Jameelab and Malaina was hot! Underneath the table Jameelah was rubbing her leg up against
mines and it felt good! Like I said,Jameelah was a big girl but she was pretty as
looked at her and smiled and Helaine' saw it and literally threw up all of her food
On the table! I lost my appetite after that and Malaina had 2 go in the basement and clean
herself up. The foster lady told me 2 clean the dishes up and Jameelah volunteered 2 help
me. While we was washing the dishes,Jameelah kept rubbing my hands and rubbing her thighs
up against me so I held her hand real tight under the water and just looked in2 her beautiful
eyes. She then asked me "Why are you holding my hands so tight?". I said "I don't know".
She then replied "U holding my hands like U don't wanna let me go". I said "I don't". Jameelah just smiled and we finished washing the dishes.
After we finished with the dishes it was time 4 me 2 go 2 school. It was my first day
at Bryant Elementary school. As soon as I walked in2 the classroom I felt out of place.
I had on some hand me down clothes and sneakers and I knew I stood out compared 2 what the
other kids had on. I got in2 a fight my first day there. Some guy who was the class bully
picked me and started tryna talk about my clothes and the kids started laughing which made
the insult feel that much worst! So we started fighting. I'm in first grade and on my first
day I'm already in a fight! I got sent 2 the principal's office and they called the foster
lady who had 2 come 2 the school and get me. She was pissed and explained 2 the principal
that I was a foster kid and that this wouldn't happen again. When I got home,the foster
lady ran a tub full of boiling hot water and made me get in it and she beat on me with a
belt. I was in pain 4 a whole week and my body was scarred up with welts and bruises. I
told Jameelah what happened and she rubbed on my bruises and told me she would take care
of the pain 4 me and just as we was talking the foster lady came in and told me 2 go 2 my
As soon as I got upstairs Malaina was in my room pissed! I was thinking like "How the
hell do she keep sneaking upstairs without anybody seeing her?". When I walked in the room
and took my shirt off sod she saw the welts and said "That's what U get and I'm not helping
U either". I just sat on the edge of the bed and didn't say anything 2 her. She eventually
got up when she saw that I was in pain and sat down on the bed next 2 me and lifted my head
up and said she was sorry and asked me was I alright and I lied and told her I was. She
then asked me if I wanted 2 run away with her. I thought about it but I couldn't leave my
sister and brother. Besides where would we go? I told her no and she dropped the bomb on
me and told me that her and her mom was leaving next week. I was crushed! She was the only
real friend that I had in this house and just like everybody else she was leaving me too.
I asked her did she have 2 leave and she said yes and that's why she asked me 2 run away
with her. This time I gave it some serious thought but again I couldn't leave my sister
and brother so I just asked her will I be able 2 see her again and she said that she didn't
know and I immediately felt depressed. The pain from that ass whooping in the boiling water
with the belt didn't have nothing on this new pain that I was experiencing.
The next week that Malainh—left it felt like she took a piece of me with her. I-missed
her alot and I never saw her again after that. Me and Jameelah got tight but. it wasn't nothing like me and Malaina. Jameelah was different. By the time I was in the third grade,me
and Jameelah was real cool. I trusted her and I valued her opinion. She was real as hell
tool She used 2 tell me not 2 be ashamed 2 be a foster kid and not 2 care about what other
people thought about me but it was easier said than done. I was ten years old now and got
caught playing with matches one time when Tameka was at the house. The foster lady made
ma put my hand on the table and she smashed a Lysol can down on my fingers and put bloodclots
on my fingernails. I had 2 get taken 2 the hospital 4 that. When I came back,I went in2
the foster ladies room and stole her rolls of pennies that she had and went 2 school the
next day and bought penny candy 4 me and my friends. I eventually got caught a couple weeks
later end got another vicious ass whooping. I didn't care anymore.
Just as I thought that everything was going downhill,the unexpected happened. I was in
school one day and our teacher,Ms.Perkinsoassed out these kites 4 everybody 2 put 2gether
and fly. Just as I was putting my kite 2gether I heard somebody say "Rhonshawn,can U help
me put my kite 2gether?",and I turned around 2 see who's voice it was and it was Tameka
Henderson! The girl of my dreams! I always wanted her but never got the nerve up 2 go at
her cause she was beating dudes up and she was big boned thick and naturally beautiful!
I told her I would help her and she moved 2 the desk right next 2 mines and I started helping her put her kite 2gether and once we got it put 2gether she said "Can U walk me home
so we can fly it?". I couldn't believe this shit! I said "Yeah" and walked her home. Little
did I know,the only friend that I had in the school at thatTime was my homie Andrew)
who turned out 2 be her brother! When I got on her block I saw him and we kicked it
4 a few minutes until Tameka got mad and said "Deng,' thought U cone 2 help me with my
kite?",and Andrew and me started laughing. I went over 2 her and we started flying her kite
once the wind picked up and Tameka was so happy. Just being able 2 put a smile on her face
was worth the ass whooping that I knew I had coming from the foster lady once I got home.
Tameka told me thank you and then kissed me on the cheek! I went home after that and I
didn't feel none of the ass whooping that I got nor did I wash the spot that Tameka kissed
me at. I was in love! The next day That I went 2 school I told Andrew how I felt about his
sister and he said "Tall crazy!". I asked him why he said that and he said cue she liked
me too. I got hype and said- *Damn man! When was U gonna tell me?". He said "Calm down oiggal
I'm telling U now!". I told him that he gotta give her this letter that I'm gonna write
4 her and he said- that he would. So after school I gave his the letter and he gave it 2
her. The next morning when I came 2 school he had a letter from her 4 me and in her letter
she said that if I wanted her 2 he my girl then I would have 2 ask her myself and not write
it 211er. In my head I was like "Damn!". That night I went home and practiced in the mirror
all night long how I would ask her. I was scared as hell but I felt like I was half way
there cue she could've said no. But armed with the knowledge that Andrew had already let
me know that she liked me too,I said "Fuck itt".
So the next day we went 2 school and we had gym on this particular day and Tameka was
looking like something 2 eat with her gym shorts on! She looked so good that I almost backed
out! But I manned up and waited until she went 2 the water fountain by herself and nobody
was around. I walked up on her and I was like "I got ye letter from Andrew". She smiled
and said "Do U really wanna go with me?". I said "Yeah". She said "Them ask me then boy!".
I smiled and said "Tameka will U go with me?". She said "Yeah". My heart started doing back—
flips' She then said "Is U gonna walk me home after school?". I said "Yeah",and at soon
as I said it my ass started burning just thinking about that leather belt that was waiting
on me when I got home but Tameka was worth ten ass whoopings! So after school I waited 4
her and we walked home. I carried her bookbag 4 her and all. When we got 2 her steps in
front of her house I gave her her bookbag back,told her I'll see her 2morrow and went 2
walk off . and Tameka said "Come here". When I walked up on her she grabbed me by my shirt
and pulled me close 2 her and kissed me and said "I'll see U 2morrow,okay?". I nodded yes
and walked off still drunk from the kiss she just gave me.
Me and Tameka was 2gether 4 a month b4 some lame disrespected my baby. We was at gym class
and Tameka's brother Andrew came and got me and told me that Tameka was about 2 fight some
dude named Joseph Fleming. I knew Joseph. He used 2 try 2 bully girls and weak cats at the
school. I knew that we would butt heads soon but I didn't think he would start it off with
my girl! So I went 2 the girls side and when I went in their locker room I saw Joseph all
up in Timeka's face and when she pushed him out of her faCi —he swung on her and -I lost it!
I ran over there and me and Joseph started fighting! The gym teacher came and broke it up
and made us get off of the girls side and when we went 2 our side I told Joseph that I would
see him after school. When we got outside after school,Tameka said "Whoop his ass baby! "and
that was all I needed 2 hear! Tameka held my bookbag 4 me and when Joseph came out in the
achoolyard he was like "Rhonshawn U don't got nothing 2 do with this!". I looked at this
nigga like he was crazy! I said *This my girl!" and Tameka was like "Don't try 2 talk! Fight
him like you was gonna fight me!". So Joseph took his jacket off and we started fighting.
Ls soon as this cat hit me my knees buckled and I knew we would be here 4 a minute. So we're
going at it and as soon as I caught him with a shot 2 the jaw he put his head down and started throwing punches and I hopped on his ass and 4got 2 get off! We fought 4 like thirty
minutes but this hit felt like we was fighting for days. Finally Joseph said he was done
and in my head I was like *Thank God!" but on the surface I was like "Naw,it ain't over
with! U gotta fight!" and Tameka was like "Yeah Joseph,don't try 2 run now!".
Why did she have 2 say that? This nigga was like "Alright,fuck it! Come on!". I was like
"Damn!" but I got out there and after a couple more minutes he ran out of gas and quit.
This time I was like "You gotta apologize 2 my girl",hoping that he did cuz' if he didn't
I ain't have no gas left 2 make him do it but he ain't know it so I played it 4 what it
was worth. He apologized and me and Tameka walked home. When we got 2 her steps this time
she kissed me and told me that she loved me! My whole body was aching
R . ttlts)
but it was worth itt / get home that toy axe the ;SSW tidy leaked at es and hams that
I vu in a fight and abs aeketpe die / gat sw0A0*2401 sad I Oltirrige tad Si. lust
told me 2 le 2 my room* Abet I flat ! -40
vowY vat tithing *bent
the fight and how / mods Jonah sett. OnfertnasteArt2 me and task* broke
oft I Was sick! While I was sermetrin; in slats from as * tin nesse Sparkle
littscought my eye. She was prat, toe and no seed 2 built up everyday. She had crew
Hu elven and little die I hats that AP was usamint with Brandon and everybody to the
school was *cared of Orandet and mes quitoottemet 4 me! I found out that Sale vas messing with 'random unexpectedly. Se and 20neY had 2 et 2 the Intel cafeteria after school
l'Itek ny some /tuff and Sunda and sarnstio was there too, As moon I turned the
torasSarandon ran up on cm like "Why a keep 0.00404 040.07 Sidi% So re like 41 stet
awing with ye' girl an and he said 42es s is en 0P0A140 0014 00 0 meg X said "Sparkle ye girl?". Se said "Teak". I said °Mat R rentals steelatd vith -fa 401* and th
I could get another word tat this a1$44 auchtspRochee air and we tot S . rightist* Broads
to a little stass ot I Sat over CO him and this strEstte lefts) is it and theiNflosn y got
in it end we was ripping in the hallway, A teacher Otts. l'hhat broke :1dt tas
I welt 2 shell the sort day and I tor Sparkle standing outside on the 000.0 004 -4
approached he set Hid *PI s bill.2rieden that hslItthit and why is stet tell let u was
messing with him? She wont 2 04Y ispothiss and I ontskorpuached her one knothole her
tooth out and said Odow go tell that nista that: 4. Ey the time / got outside after echtel.
this *ASS* erase** had l ike * thousand uttetett iittias 04 met 2 didn't even know we had
that any Peels in that school. It leaked iiho * million an arch! It was me WA dtmny
term 1th* fuck it and at Iota as I went 2 walk out in the yard my mea Abdul Ellin
walked 40. Everybody is the school stottattted ine foarediebdpik He was like Moms onstimmi
*elk out with yellsitet star with *04. As 4004 44 we walked Out and s tettla sat that allitAia4t
444 with 4144hey parted the middle 104 444aa ports, the sits of reeds. Brandeis yelled
to lintel and told his that this not his flat a nd Abdul Jett kept walking. Once we Sat
es our block*ohdut told 44 2 witch liesdOn tee he sneaky*
I went 2 **hoot that not day and X at tit with my bootee Potts SutIon*Vintint wiltitse
Seyomd -Omar tint. They was ilk* if something kick erns with Yes. St waited int school
lather and when / weati t my hostreill elitio_r
atesiet approached Oa turd mit* Jana
talk Lyon at luachtlael I said "About what?". MO Mid
jell* is over with lrhtt shit
getting out of bur* I hid hie X would net et With Leaden and when a and
met up is wee all lose. Re respected my boort end said that my little httothtvieset had
Star heart* NeAssteamould smuts, IWO up Wu Seed fated* and we rimiest the
Everybody had 2 sett a Todd' emittestt is order 2 be in the Salk IvettldrteS
was going toed malt it tams time 4 ret ort fordo 2 be beaded eat. I looked at as report
tare sad thought that We antro_sit_tho only grades that the teachers were giving out!
I know t couldn't take this Me ta etre kegs b444444 I bad a an Sopa** twist 4 enrol
So after *shoot while X was walking home / purposefully dropped af report teed on the
sidtwolit and toPt going. When I Set home the f stuita lid, *OW as wheatsialsrt surd
was and t told her that I must have dropped it it ettas and ask the teacher 4 a
new one ;morrow when I Se 2nthost. X eget that we Set our report aces an taltatites
eftment while vs were eating dittos t heard the doorbell ring. I S et up and west 2 the
roar and imbed,' was thus* but Winn gob Of the 4.1044 was sr **Pert Mare and a reansi
WO O day turd from one of the Mattis% girls in the elees-Wible limplet I couldn't
believe -my luck! The faster lady asked she V44 at the door and I told her they had the
woes home and watt upstairs in the bathroom and rime t hat meet card int it million
j Their was no way that I was monist that re port Ord to end not he liatip 2 set
Sample sum again)/ at ,os,tbs edge of the tub in the bathroom4nd X rood the
tete the gave me. It said 42aAPY Valentine's day loverbiy.1 hove You'll be my Watts*,
tOrfashitia I 4444 # 40 root that tare is Osmond times that night and I couldn't watt .
2 to 2 school the nut day! That sight it hit /the the son was tag too loose 2 V1401
11406 fieell y .end I do latts einallYelt vas tilt 4 me 2 Ss 2 school. As *toe 44 I walked
tat the classroom sad Saki, laS at As started POO* Redtwent eat set mixt 2 her.
She said 424d a like ye card?". I said 42eshOnhy n Metals* it 2 44 1,4401111% She said
°Sacs it was a eurprioet. I said 42 definitely surprised mend the asked me if I
could walk her home after wheel 0104 2 told her X would. 't couldn't wait 4 school 2 finish
sod finally the hell stags tie and Sate walked hems and alleyesse Int imi* Ile* moreatee
goo me ay props! We got 2 her crib and I was shy and 2 stet de in 4 the hiss this Uwe*
I Just walked her 2 her frost steps of her apartment staples end told her that I 11 mot
borrow and 1 welksebiha4ltkil—Cheitt:400The next day that I wonttioillsonip ps-sndliskin - isttext-tsedrothar
in every class
that we had tgether. After sC40 02 Linaked her tea* andi tethered up theluratage 2 go
4 the Lifland it mureerfcall We lasted 4 a few weeks and then Mn WOW* ewer semi
argument that I can't remember but I. slimy/ then* attent her slot afterward*. SOPA after-MUT
* gitl tamed Tishonds got put in IY class. At this time I'. eleven years old going en
thirty and 2day t would find out Whet it Stet 2 be a tOU2... I'll never 4get this most
beaus it stayed in my mind for years. Tiskeeda was naturally beautiful:Avid-she was reel
confident around toys * She was one Of these title that was loose but she keel how 2 fit
is and because of her beauty u- orerlonked all of the telltale line that told you that
she wasn't 2 be trusted. 2a; I was rani. and X really tido"t know women the way that
thought that I did ' eo agai nst the Sees from my hostas Jeffers** and flacon telling se
ietitosI seat tishoude e lore letter and asked her 3 go with
She reed itsleahad at
me sad ailed, then *00* 'OS on the letter. When I finally lot her rinse* my confident*
went through the root!
.IANdtviw**oh and is2foreen and Omer Jest 'hook their heeds. Now tishende was my till
and I was feeling myself. Vs talked and flirted With each other all day. I joist used 2
like leatiairtt:her pretty Seel kfee is le had went In end our teacher passed out the
2tet beet Marie. 4 everybod y .,2 take hoes so 004r parents could Alia thee 4 ne 2 partici:*thael and we were tuning our
pate la the Program. WS the nett morning everybody teal 2,.
2 atOt eXISO 1 the telehsta tiebonde matched it out
iteelentsk laral in
of mrhisCreal fast playing around and reed it. When she got 2 the oxidise stun and
OrMi ShtS4t was jerked *Wester Ohtld mrehe oPea around and rot in *I fees and was like
'What's eleater Child? X islet IS With it falter kite * . I was hart, The whole- elate tutted
*Pad and was looking at me. Efelt Like I was an e2ioa that 44 40** Sat discovered
by seat
It ints,a female in my class noted Irina that weerroel cool with me
00:ete- este and set next 2 me and asked me was X alright.I Weil* said yank but on
the inside X was stashed' Aso T went home that da rilet night when I've, about 2 go 2 sleet
I pet started artiat*the foster lady used 2 send ne 2 ***;70h and I used 4 weeder why GOD was punisI vaiibmr
met here it isatheibible sare.thet. all these that OM will he punished end all thole
that do good will be reietdedoeS' atr as Z Sin* Intaitiod, I 400 ia2 this world getting
punished so I used . 2 wonder where 4190. was at throughout all of this. I was praying 2 him
but *thing ever chongs, The foster lady still found Were 2 these se mid I was 'till
at the bottom. I couldn't understand what was going en. TWO year t tot As s and Ws on
my toPert card and out of poi/hue my mother case 200 feettv ham 2 visit *WOW I
looked at my mother I knew that it was no Wei that she 4044 4047 se Casa I Itchiest
like her. We could be twins! She gave so.P000111A4 lis e hag tad told us SS 400J0144
k r- went - sit I Wed her when she was teeies 2 -let wa-e,4700e -luet kept saying
**Oat my report tend and *honed it 2 her and told her that I been being sand to school
And now she can take us with her but she said that she couldn't and stetted ;flint. I
didn't understand whet was going on. Why tau/dus t she tilts us? She must have 'topped Leila&
Its and found some other kids better then in 3 ley.. I ismadiatel y c sot sed'sed moat 2 II
ram sad tried myself 2 sissy, Whe n -2 'wok* If mother was gone.
Osopecson who always came 2 visit 0411 in the Cotter tool 140 toss 2 get us on the weekcads was Cap. I didn't arse know at the tine that ha wasn't my real tether Incites he
mower treated se like he sesn't., As a *Otte r of fetta vea.htIferprite4. No is the only
father that I know *ad I lave end resent his as *we* Be fulfilled * responsibility that
be didn't have 2 fulfill and t loft and reopen him Ore. more 4 that. Be is the retina
and Strongest man that I ever had the .friwiledt o of meeting in this lifetime, He Fun hunt
in my heart. On on of the weekend visits 2 etneirl with Arfetter a met ay first, best
friend named preston but everybody celled his psis. no . nonikoiar baststbell,footballond
he ihrhad a nice fight game like me. out of everybody to the neighborhood that 1 used
2 punish with the heeds,' could never best peas and after several unsuccessful sttempts
we Just bOala8 ben friends* Be. had the same defense and fight gees that interne foreman
had and I used 2 go at it with hie ewerft*we 400 we 20 Ustherind be lowed the apart
flyway and just used - 2 be waiting on m0.2.0141-tii Ant*
A couple weeks later.the foster lady ***4**40! 2 ote,thobethrtint and hadlisasalwe
hearts/tuck and died. When she died-I 1***(100t140* ****04,4***** I Wet know whether
we were taint 2 be sent 2 a worst foster Inen or if we were going the split up tern*
The fester lad y 's daughter took melted . my sister and brother went with the other sister.
I went 2 live with
1_440,000vOtber_SV70001100.VOL4001. and like a big sister
2 me, She taught me alot.of Ot ff_aa4 OTOS booked as up with,this_airl named Kansas that
I liked that lived on tho block. I used 2 marvel at how Tusks and other kids at school
and on the block had both of their porn and was ha
I used 2 wonder bow it would be
2 grow up in that type of hipme. I smiled when I thought about all of the love I would recite
frOO both forests. Nobody could dies me 4 being • foster kid no more and I could finally
live a normal life like everybody else. But I was 4orced 2 live with t runty that it
I gOt Mastered 2 Sayre Middle school which was right around the coiner from Tamska's
ab. I made friends with a kid, on the block named Corey who quickly my best friend,
Mb and Core" did everything 2gether. he was 2 years older than mo and Seel fight his ass
$uyr tried 2 jump me after school one time becomes I sccideatly spilled my chocolate Si o btitts the cafeteria. 1 apologised 2 the guy but boom it rimmed in a public
settles gUess he had 2 make a point. I later found out that tho guy Sus *ably respected
sad fur
a the schoo/. My *MAO Peter and Vincent went there with me t • After school
us three
Car y left out of the side entrance and the Buy named Awry salting on
us with
t t nty other guys. When be saw that it was only us four he tat ly started
Jobs Matti or somebody. I just stood them sad waited him 2 put his
bends up or att
vo but 1 noticed that he got quiet and kept staring me. I turns!
around 2 wee looking at ond I saw my godcousis named Kid f
bot om of
west phi y its rip sillinis Al fathersKaposad 2 mess with Lid'. a_t Ma, isle and
used 2
Newsy 2 visit Kid's grandmother MO.Botty all of L t • Kid's
0 rd
asatsai r
ove si 2 death and always cloaked Cr it
t over
them si
4 da t know that Kid oven went 2 this 1,
f I diet
ale him
Betty's crib shoi I sus with my f
owes real tight and when I Sag y
us down
had the dogs a$ would give us y so
5t h
1 sec
do with the situation and Mid
with. I watchedtventy nisi we
I di
1 I leaked at Xii differently of
ways playful and cal.. Ho was al
I later found out that I was
ri 1 knew kid
end I told
"Do you know why them dudes just
t when
?". Issid no and Corey said
must be talkinivabout somebody 04
be sottand said "Trust me.iid would'.0 i
is stay
my father came 2 Set o from
I tot somebody that I can has
. * don Vt bang around with Lid. I
don't need to be around". I said
ly and
1 together and when I got into
i LIP id ip
*p iped oel". My father said "Shown
ii.ilvdim lit you won't ban
with Lid". I Put
PP00 110 that lid is faiily in one Ores
ilipri It p
,• My father saw tat I didn't
rihsnI t
4 iSftl
P rg
i ! E I 1 PP I
I II011
utpIIP: In1 ,,, ' 1Ii .i I iales
told Corey 2'bo
0 °1 t t
•$ I
ready 2 !flab
I hoot but Corey laughed and said
I I,
just like COSY asidiall
$ knew that 'Corer
II 1 ti
se guys gets me cams from f
2, ivies and boin a
n amrl
!LW b
I. I
. .
g rou d
the fear that tid distributed
4400 It
the fair 0' 1st
tad death eod
or 4got
t Issas% that he
fres school
the hais
said "o gotta' leave".
of you a
• I felt hippy
with ny sal family but
like f
ly 2 as and
real sous
end her meths
a called me a
t meant alot 2 se. They we
2 prepare Oa differatt
and new triads, /seeks t
taksd sad shoo made as Prods*
Sr / in Corey know that
nuts had 2 he dons aonst
is ohs car with ny father sad
of life,
in Off with is titled "Happy 2
t\miro nko Afat*
the cough
th as
1 aunt,
la sad
ib1PPT 2$ ALIVIr
%via vs met at 12 years old
I•just know that 1 had 2 have 4 ay own
And after hearing about ye deadly one alight stands
I couldn't wait 4 the moment that I sot U alone
It WO4 like we wars dostiaad 2 be
ererlSine nlY Misers tapped around ye waist
I beans so addiated 2 ye love
that at : et I Opt U clo s 2 me face 2 face
This world will sumer understand our bead
or the reason that u became my wits
I just lore how when U set mod
some pathetic low always lost his life
U ars always on ay side
sad 2sethar we will rule the world
4 eternity I will be Ye 1114
Jun se long as U continua 2 be my girl
So from this day award I promise 2 remain loyal
and Utter keep is by my side
Because the day that I caressad U with a full clip
I wee Sappy 2 S Alive"...
Wodt\Pcski13 AC/317/J
I net the 'o ",n_2
VII 5* iato*iaatiflg f.eit. sat t up
u thnt$h ay jounsy ut at,ajn whit. I
and tab, this tide vt th a;thug!
& Sr hands 4 thi lint tin. It
aejing in tha pea, Nov l's going 2 take
ng with srsadnth.r,a. gut cc.f.rtabl.
I finally got 2
grandather's crib after what ssnsd like * long ride. Even though
I bad been her. plenty of times on weekend visitsit wasn 1 t until sow that I actually
aotissd how clean and beautiful the osighborhood was. All of the houses were new and clean,
the lawns are .s'ved,esd the houses were big and beautiful, When I get out of the car
I netic.d girls playiag in the street and they were five titea nrc beautiful then the
girl. I yea fatling in love with. I took sy clothes ta2 the hone. and sy aunt tonia,.y
favorite aunt can and hugged a. Rh. showed .e where me end Donny's no. was at and helped
us get situated. I got in my too. and I bad a t y in sy root and a atari video was
hooked up 2 It. I didn't knew what the hell that was cause the foster lady ain't allow
us 2 have nothing but spinning tops and ye yo's so this bln.y mmdl Teats turned ths
game on and skewed a how 2 play it end I euat've eat in front of that ti for twenty hours
a day playing that gesel
My father seas and got a end told a 2 walk 2 the store with hi. me I gave the gate
toetrellere 2 kin and danny and left with hi.. We went 2 the deli en the corner of our
bleak ce 77th end ogouts called DIS. My father bought a .40 a. of beer and I sew how cold
it was and how ash cia. in the bottle so I asked hi. 2 get a one end he laughed and
aid flhts is for grown folks and it'll burn ya chest. I'll get u a Juice 0 sad he bought
a a .301 hug juts.. When I got the hug juice and drank it I couldn't believe bow good
it tasted, That was my firet tile having one of those sod I knew then that I was uissiag
out on alot of stuff in the world. When we cane out of th. store there were guys standing
as the toner shooting dIce and they all knew who .7 father was, I noticed that my father
was well respected in this neighborhood. Vs van back 2 my grandmother's crib end at
on the steps and a and dad started talking end be asked a how I felt. I told hi. that
it feels good 2 fieally be with my real fatly end not have 2 worry about people calling
fester kid". My dad looked at a end acid "Son,u got people in this world that are
2 throw salt on ye' nas,00t knowing that alt is just another fora of seasoning.
t you west through in the. Enter hones,! knew it wasn't sy,but all it did was
sake a etronger.0 still her. and that's all that count. U with ya fail; now. I .Me
ysil a promise that I would one bash and get pall end I did. I love ii boyl,now give ya
otdaan a hug". I huggsd my father and didn't wenna let go.
Later am in the week,my grandmother told a that I would have 2 get enrolled in school
sand it wee walking distance. The school wan called PeanyPmcker elementary. I get enrolled
set my gnadsother and euat took a shopping. They threw an y all of the buasy clothes
I had end bought a all up 2 date ahit end I felt like a .illion buckel I went 2 school
en my first dey aad I got put in ro..9 which as se.gasble class. Ms.Gaable could've been
• sodsl cause she as drop deed gsrgeousl Sh. was one of the primary rent. that I even
t 2 school! Sot don't get a wroag,the girls that went there wasn't no slouches neither.
Me and a fnt kid sated .ontsy ayers got teat tight. Re wee eeeoth as hell end used 2 be
pustehiag cats on the bade. I. introduced a 2 william singleton who was like a big
brother 2 a is that school, By.; second week there I noticed this naturally beautiful
goddess named andrea ferguson, I couldn't believe how beautiful this think was with her
blnd jheri curl,
Aadea as tall with bleeds hsir,pink lips,ltghtskte,and greenish bluest eyes that I
have ever mesa be. This chick as a special blend! I told eontay that I wanted her 2 be
my girl and littl, did I know was that mestay and endrea's best friend dents. was cool.
So soatay weat and told data, that I liked andrea end denise Ian .setay know that she
wofld till andrea. Soon after, the bell, for leech rang cad a,antay and vittles was sitting
en the lunch table eating when denise end andrea case and sat down at the table with us.
I tried 2 cat like I wasnt paying her no attention end kept talking 2 s,stay but he put
so right on the spot and said hoasbavn,then go ye' girl". As soon as he said it scOt.
was like 'Who a talking about .entay? sad .nat.y seid "I's talking about you!". Andrea
Shea turned 2 a and aabt . 'A. I pa gtrt?. I said 'tesh". Andrea thea ease and set
nsa 2 a end lt* 4 ma deed is the eyes with these 2 pretty ass pearls that she ussi
4 epa and naked a ire is serious?'. I maid "Yeah' and she lashed at a and said '0 bette
Ms asd ssdn. west back 2 class and she set nit 2 a and we used 2 talk about everything.
I isterfound eat that AMMO „ mined with
lomiame.nek00**,0thor motto
eheThed'e ha* IsOtSliktbit ehi lesetl:irieSJS,0000.1. with her that bad this sweet tootles
dOWAilkil it
** OW 2 14.606 driek 00011.0 it., We kicked it for * couple weeks
elld:thesi let this *01 1ke eeelligieliat taker heed. This leaks by the nom* of pad wanted
and could sewer- get with her 00 one*? while we were in class pool sat next 2
said that be had Otinith is a: 211122' es Out his difese lma t 2 get me sod+ Curiosity
is ASA of *SAS I IOW hie whe t it weei 'p We said 'Ton know that pink milk that
100:int drinking fielthe bottle that
be giving yeato . and I said *Teehewhot about
PanIiimid Athat's goat SOO not,olle . and then Jamul** *hicks be Usi ng that Stuff
2 patliodem on soya So they neileit,in leg With thee*. I don't know why I believed
soOnbullobit Like this bet.; did and *Mk. up with sedree isseediete4Y: deedless 2 aft
S ion Wad mad we had *SAO ea' ersemesi that lead 2.unobeut 2 fight after school.
tried 64114 2 gg ha - 4 06061S-TIO04 1.thwas convinced that I had
Andrea she
told me See
lever 40 anythinge- et end get PO4 end evens
oc:a 04 we storied 2100104* P00400.04'0 bm444 VillieeTbrike es up and nobody sew
it whun sans pelted out har_10010 and Slid* it e0 it Wad entendinewhit as to
thementh with it and taetedirt.400 Val 00 10044* mad and Sete* webbed me and said
Allheoeheweidon't bit Miro* miirIta• William 'webbed se 04 walked me Sent
TAte 1011804o0 on a fridoniti when I:get hem and 4 grandmother saw my mouth she mot
her who did it. t Suit told her X 444i s e who threw the Pesch
04 tilt ' 2 never
and upon hearing this my Sreadslethat escorted me 4 school on /seeder earning. I Set 2 glees
mot* sea as t looked at 444r0 T. nes Soh in Ion* with her and she wee dilidieS the
oene-bni we are both stubborn as geiii'Dostes and inintay tam up 2 ma and asked nin was
I okay and I tell them Yeah. Dense then told me that seen felt bad all weekend about
whOt ilhe did and Ohs didn't .00.04 *OS my lip. ; leSedietell turned evened fres dards*
*04 Mintied walked right 2 where *adroit was sitting at and as Mee as she *swift coming
210116, Ur she tiled 2 hold back her pretty ass mile but emidets t walked up 2 her
nald"10ill nit etill' oecit earSIA said no 404 th00444 that ehe me *Orr* and she don't
r ihy I broke op with her :led when I finally told her she Set mad as bell and her and
heel aborted arguing. After- sth002444r** get a Oil* of here who is like 4 brother 2
her,*(104-iakeil 2 fishtgeel-ontrehiem ended US knocklas.poul smooth out! While pool
was lefiee on the ground knocked
00144**dres inset iglu of her booths(' and took
bottle sat iremoved the ltd andpeered it all over mel t e fate and then said "tow that's
seat Oimer and walked offs Me and eadves moor Sot book ISOWNor but we always remained
4601 after chat.
: .,:aeattauest 2-go 2 *heel and,Iniado aloe of friends but one friend that .1 met in penny,
SOW SOON like . * brother 2 to.and.ble nee wee, 20sheed Jeans but we milled him Reshot
*00.4tit X was in the bathroom at lunchtime and Mahood ;erne -in-waboome guy named koury 410*Sr SAY Rated wes107 4 Wean introduced himself and told se that wool*/ and misheard
Will* I fight ovis440041d. me.if teould fight OS* Wester woo the closest one 2 es
y in the face and we started fighting,
.):14,11,46!.. nnsfOr4d-AtA,i0ectiga I punched wesle
fight but that Wa s his problem and not mines.
t onieaesy'stw . teet wegieljoaldn"t Satins 4 told reoheed_A fight me but 14 me and re..
tt e
Sella Gould right it was tie. lor US 2 . our next class. When I went 2 my next class
l-tild dealee Obat-heChappened and she said thn. they use only doing that because I was
000 new hid it Othisal s -Wks .eaid_thet her and reshe00.000:4044 and she would talk 2 hie.
Vest be* that day and I never ran benk,i02 kOnsy or toehold * The next week while I
ins sating is tha school cafeteria rembeed ease end at at my table and we started talking.
Ihron004,me . Whorml wale from *Weld le that he PlOrof fantail and that he lived on
litkeiroseetrAnd I told him that I lived on rith and osontx,s0 he told me he would
walk** with me .from. eahoet! After school I sae hie Whim 2 aosebocl y nand glen that
veda 2 Mr school so i'weljust pies until he cog* up with M. and while we were walking.
this Short arettr:aae-liskt shin chick started wilktas behind at with this derkshAn thick
with her he seen. as we get 2 blethe any from our blocks the lightekin thick
rekhelOAY boy teome hover. Se andWee hmed keel{ welkin/ and then the lightehis chick called
C44001064 sad Sothis. 2 tell Igo ,/ tee. here se I *eked roshood.who she was and Sbo said
that her mime was *la and abs was his (*.Ishtar set the duel* girt with her le her little
saner salad lekles I turnedem end and weitedrothea and when she got 2 se she asked
egbitle youiste. / pig her that my eme was itioneheirtend she said that'sa eel° ****
*St as Outs * She then asked me if I had a girlfriend sad when / said to she sald "Ile
yet girlfries4soiiits.H 1 said *Whett m , She said 'Toe head mei I'm ye girlfriendriand
Just like that
ban 07 g irlfriend,. didn't
et even have a soy . 'oohs just broedied
142 being her WM*
. but she was se baking pretty that $ dee like Lock a l WNW
ld as that I had 2 talk her hose so I walked her home and abs told.. 2 give her my phone
I was hied of seared because I never had • girl call the crib b4 and I ain't knew
al grendeother was seise 2 react 2 that but I couldn't lose this chick so I gave her
O be and when I Sot heel I told my aunt tonia what hosed and I asked her if I would
t in trouble if Mi. called and TOMS laughed at se sad told as that if Atte called that
vapid take care of it. I hugged Tonia and west and sat outside on the front stops. I
all of the people that lived on the block. It was . oldhead that lived across the street
*Jos. he was the funniest oldheed ever cause he used 2 be cursing people out sad.
batesies at the a time! 0* father was one of Nriot i s favorite and he took as 2 set
day. * Jo: and my
father was drinking bar and *am told se "I don't
el are tryst' be like in life.but whoever it Is l just mike sure it ain't this rry
0:::a that you ,got for a 'abet-I n tend hie end dad started laughing. *Jam
y Oa the block ibat be tied took an interest is named Joy and be introduced us
# hit it off right from the Mart.
'Joy both had sister. and send Jay sad* a pact that we would never mess th each
• Later, Since my Sister wore thick glosses duo 2 her poor sight resulting f
her about her slim**. se and Jay did everything lather and vban 11 it
ei grandmother get me amass and Jay used 2 trade c artridges 411 441*
• se and Jay _wee talkies an the block.ey best friend Pees rode up il
his. I hadn't sou bie in a while. He was on a HMI stunt bike and
is 1114
ride it. I d:d west 2 rids it but the problem was that / had npr
ned heti
bike. neve ev
had a bike or was allowed 2 leave from in float of be tops
ter bees oe rid s e bike wee the fu
t thing free
mind. I r
sad that
slot that i nev
et 2 *penance in t
but all of
I sot my tether
how 2 ride a Ike. he Wish as Wee* 0
b Isle
meow riding it one ay when di 4 Qt Toai sal
it everyiterel
se d told
the pheoes I ran
hqae snd tt use tie.
and sot on
ea t phone
she kld is that she
ab4ut 2 c
ever lea
I told r2cal Ilse beck in five Mena and r4n doves Ire fid tot
Id I do. Tosta told
4 A so# se and whet
l ems, wbe hind of taste
had ltn girls, tte
•y add
4 her t ell add 07 a t wou d be sitting
lb the
lase sally delicious She tot 2 my *UPI d 04
Id Sr .;1:
t I had just 1 ved re. Tea a den
: abs
end At Aria
d 4E14 told •y Suet
she tfn
my sirl.
ttos of her steps vs k
p Wes we sot 2 the
se]later. is and Atte
ted 4 a couple mouths
, .
teed friends.
were abOut 2 graduate 4 40 2,J uaior bl
p O 14 or
. Ati end Ands
' tic the shoes 2 is
flavcf is sonsIII
isk : oe t111 1 411 t
g • my
good thei we
told es t take
re of that
and A
ed se Why I
her she j to::::,se t ht We were
2Ldence lib se.
ta and he
1 .
#7, 0 cool th At I'll race w, 0 r sad
t alit he de le w1 liokt 4 o She
Iler than ere but a
a peek of Mosso
t she didn't f
1 of the word
he lips$ Out o
la Ors.
1 it
•levoi 1
Out o v ery se
nor a
t t •
old surd
Am acme let
cool and she
scene lo t to
happened and
he would help
f they gassed
11114 Ass I Is
r cousin Manny
E0041 start
talkies and
rry. I Shook 4
were going an
with thee when I
he alveys
we vent in his r
eei used 2 seei
0 - father.ny uncle
tit Donny got his
n gone so we won
tedli keha
• we couldn't t
hurry Up sod ge
Teddy weeny old
we left but by
straight hons.
t sklanned airl
posits ssid 4'
that Donny was far from a one
get with her frl d used Adrel
little brother at es wit h Eseiks
kAilv sJ
tem and hle
thee sk4 ey
an the block, t was 4 rl
• rush on se and
nay key
its... day 444 tr
2s _ a
he was matins in
he said that to
ring another vo
to Don't set me
my aunt Ionia
herd and he can ht se
out of ass 444
Shed Mel Aft. that
04 my bike throu h the
I told himwhe
asked me was I Darr
8 ne hoes,
me if Tonle was home
de. I neat
of the bed try
/ vent in the
his bike See * S aid E
any sport but . 1he did
try 2 bully his but I
would fight y$ as
be just didn't ike fl
Itkind kicked it tith
to the street. 1Ien I
nor we threw a ç4v pee
fuck her in the riven
she was in the
*01 b4 so when t y went Si
* couple
p1.1 chat
it out
Id is that
r haircut.
saw lasheed
our heir..
b and
4 he
k on
tS.._ oats of sad
011 02 this niggas had 2'
2 kick it with this
skit ain't *nil That
ed laughing. Mei
4010 mom hem lIi an •
yOohole now world 2 es. 2'
sad him and Trriek went
tokens and played 2. t
r eatables Tyriek and
After vs *oft tie os1l.
kM tha video Sat callOT
t 1-11 became lot
ytldon'tknowbctitw,a t
stetted loirailas what eit sew
• they mild so0A0 mod,
tins high off of just the lilt
light headed end: diany be
oat Tubs was this ski tiB ia
with. As SOOR SS se and T
t too and he was like a
chill in the bivalent et bee
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that ha hens with that Mai
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squad of girls that wad
reeves Shareeilholtter.Cal
other and Just teed 2
was the
out spot.
beer en
1LI kgas noighb.rbsoda
ek couldfight his
with the f low
11 was a whets and
f us. he
11 talkie
like a old eau. Ke
our hood sad nobody
ika tin brotbors Cod
Seal rospoct t
* coasts
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s as and
htsi but
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I acted lib* 'didn't',
•t.I its 1 N. Apall
isedy14 $ . It I
• Sbo ot itsiput it
scar. ii no bet! I
buttsa it. I looked a
• and iwalked 2 mY 4
pooduditbat it was a
mad I to Mossy boss old
ts f rae 7001 sad Os
in VW Store and
p but con OD the* 2
Vincent. His 40114
• / let., t
load set
tinted Dos jliko
store on sy block sad I
Tr/04'h 2 in
o Ls e stopped and
and I dropped brae.
. I
1 H
i f
Oi l
, pc , 14
4 rfLiiii.
ik ' '
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4 *
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be lo pka4no' id ur,
Just t *A aid tat
4,* "Ma be **al OH a
via tat
! nig** not
th WIC .
ding it fa;
out that X
I Init.;
A 44,14.
elf _ ,
As hay syse'
4 me 2 lit
las won WO 0
house hi gh at Of
di som. drugs eit14.
t no soything I di_
lacSs ilad es out of:
shorty right
4 lie and syrup and '
shorty otortpf talkint
es ne and ca nted
Wm and I tot
Sul inse me every day
ad Silts *gai n 014, 1 Pena*,
i was in tha hospital . /
4lgte,1„lint:f4 *14
it 4 •fletd4 t went
*Ono that I nattad. 2, wt 4
4 a ninita,ft*060 packi
10444 and the Stasi, v , good,
my 01/0!naight!dtne--- ski tys
With any access canna .
twat inegidittna now t
t . ne bockats OM was 090a
inked on the An with
,• with as and he get
Cu astalid tend s . Sho t
sine said an ythin g and
knitting and used 2 bli.
on my tumuli, 14y aunt'
too * *k ind t°8141
4147. had 17 bah and
kit's)" loved her 4:be
t of trouble. From bin
*other 2 me ten and.
and iftne one day and
..e. of the 0,14 414
t be wasn't theme and
'wont °fluids and chit
•'n14 sou cos %%Olt***
no some lied a
the pint thtms I 1"*.W
the Mir 2 *I trait*
rt sintein hospital,
be aide al oration hiw
in Sit I wouldn't and l
that tYttek had 104 tO it vi
with the mak na gni
nay and while ,2 was mintiti ititain 77th flan to 4; smock
2ilts rushed bath 2 the NAAS * ins Short can 2 US* 04
let the spoons do Omar work and be hiiirodroi that tyriehorro *solo
lettlkost mod shorty come and got *lad tor* so book i'my
and z Jolt out of 'twit
istit as the corner
believe that M1
04444,4 that
All of the
Saki lira 4
'e lit, tint a,
tit*, 404' stack4 0001 *it lib
Jo* friend na0P4
thit rood 2 till
tsnoosttor what.
i www She *Via
lOtortsd Otis
with hiss
ma money in the
Ity I woad pet
SEW it sod fluted
tOrnor with nit
Sites from son*
drags of the nit
Wins m soisur.,
and stuknollOd
' foricoir an naaa
tt Omsk no mere
*Otte ; him 2
some nista from
out ant* ist4
No 2 chill and
meat weak they
s crib' I told
ibe hketitta ts
Ps . JO c /40A)
,.. ,....
his , I'll . call hiss I wont_is,
on that
over then.
*hat and Se t dressed' X.9010ki
heeds I told
14 teflon* vodka and we 4rMak it
than said
his that t was with its So we west out on the eater of 77i117.*** and thilledo whir* all
was Out there oailiessthis prettY . Chia rode up on a bike-Oaf SO Ilk* "Who Set *0**"
thine on borers thelil w01 like' 't u reek in g 4'?", She said eft/ ket. nishe out heries
out goo*
I Jest knew that she was talking: IE-ts wag so I told bat, chle it * ve no
no weeds
04 looked
I got some of that already, I cakilleemethiss 2 pet in this bientIns
I could say slate*
2 berskhelil was like "Oho* set that tool s . She was then like ilright,let me see semen
out of here. Me I walked her in the driven,* 404 showed her the sOsh lad
SO / can
eke sopped thseespild me and left snidest Wave itt By the ttite_r got *rowed the
term 2 where kheli/ was •t0AY oldipead shorty was thin*. I' ve* lila °To! Shortsthis pretty
Us thighjest bought 00** trileh off if airs Short stetted laughing tad was like "Get
seed tit it this the saes you gonne be it * That where'dart told eyeryboty I knew *bout
the beautiful girl who had Jolt bouflt creek off of me, t knew thee that crack didn't
have no picket
Sees had A uncle nasal Munro* who was on U*
906. Be used 2 be wii4 these 2 brothers
atewid treethy ead .ocetty, Preachy and *Cott? used 2 run all the motel in 2 certain hearer*
that they tucked with Like that *et I, to one of the hustlers that they tucked with like
thins I wee hustling out of their 00****ut one eight and this elated chick named libbf
seee'in there and vented 2 score some mai I had four left end a packet full of annefi
/*sear brought her 2 me and we allots She told se that she didn't have no sof but
r reeked at her confused and she reached over end grabbed.), dick
1 man
andlooked me 14 , 04 eyes and said ape u party?". Now keep In midst's
*hill * "Mir& r iust "Vet told ten* of the hada* Pit that I otter et none. Iona
MOO and grinded on thickest eves **eked on lose tittisesbut I *ever penetrated nothing
yet. Libby had my dick so hard that X was like °Yeah. I Porte* Preachy hearty* lied him
endslootti wont quit/Are but t4 faffichT went upstairs be rained over is m1 ear and said
rU got a live one right there and lefts rabbi P ulled my pants dews 2 al Wire* with ml
boats end told me 2 lay book on t he couch and sucked 01 dick *9 f eed that I felt like
I fief Just got resurrected! She then got on me *ad rode me 2 heaven! When I came 4 the
first tits in my life I told her that I loved her! I couldn't believe the hellos that
she had Just given me. I asked her how many she vented and she said she wanted two but
i gave her four and made her , do . it *gain! After I left that eightsthe next day I was Looking 4 libby and 2 had four more 4 bort Prom that day on e verftine I saw her we'focksir
Soft she wouldn't even charge me and we Just fucked after r-te rd her I was a virgin b4
hers After I got that first nut * fr o' taw then that I was Sienna wit s It felt like it
visa secret society out there etperienting:all-of these pleasures-444-i had just jolted and get full membership, After thetspvas fucking, everything moving! It was like I !Amor
rum out of cum 4 these chicks! I reeked at all of the chicks I used 2 be ground differently
Elamorimm that all altheomigirts was 'talkies asound-aith . a small piece of paradise.
between their legs and I was desperate 2 gat MY spot in %Agent
We started school *couple weeks Li ter and I was on the prod' I zit sent 2 morris s,.
leads middle school. I was sitting in the class and I noticed that it was come *tee looking
girls in the class. They cos thick . spd Juicy too. I had all tit,* of thoughtssodotthreogb
my teed now and after I had those P retties floods with li bbr and her teats! was armed
Oaf dangerous! I law * few prospects in the class that 1 was planning, on putting ay mock
dews on and Jest when I thought I was in heavantthe devil walked through the door and
destroyed all of my visions of bliss! It was the same beautifulshaseled e yedsJeitY lined.
moist Jheri euri-bevinitSPSdase that threw of cernimiela jacket co the ground like it was
garbage. She walked in the 04** with sate other pretty. Oartskiens4 chicks I later feted
vs that the devil's =Me was fewer* but arerf
inar7 calleirralti Pee 4 shorko r know this
am ,going 2 be a loos year theirs Mo *USW/ west 2 their *1***** aid the flat de, of
jflSl was over and everybody was in the yard talking. Me and whOmis chris wee talking
and I asked bin if he know pas and the girl she was with and he sa14-*Yeabsthe girl she
was with **** is hone y* . I told chris that as good as she lookssehe would have a name
like heaershuhrs 14 Just leashed and Just like the devils pam and bossy *spear* out of
nowhere! They walked pass me and honey scraped her fin ger across the.back . of . my nook and
I turned around reel feet and Pam UMW at me and flatted laughim gV-taristald es that
asser had
scraped 117 mini I Jilt looked at rim and started obebIne my bead because How
didn't even know as so eh' Tor made her 00 that case 2r01 the seductress wed Pal
Oa ay wow home I stepped y Kies crib ad he was worst! he told es 2 cene in tad that
he bed isreeklas he wanted1sell a. I went in and couldn't believe that the elm who
tomb Se this game was • a eland and was saline ell of his shit! I followed tip upstairs
mu glad when we get he c losed the door and went underneath his bed sad pulled
out ahOebet. It was the coma shoebox that once held 810,000 in eseh that 1 persetelly
hi hie aunt out for Bleak 207. He went in the Weeks a pulled out a chrome .38
vow with a Meek pistol trip. I leaked at the tea end l in levee I cradled it in
and automatically felt the power that it had / new understood why the worsen
es the right 2 bare arse because 2 deny a an from one eating this t ype of pleasure
within itself! I seed tip whet he wasted 4 it he said that he wanted $130
Id his alright *ad I'll be flat beck. By the t
ran 2 th. crib its
y out of sly mettries and vas both 2 Ki es crib
el I was di pee ted
4tet vbet it felt like 2 hold that tun in ay ha
would definitely
of ay own.
::: this cwith a pose that I wrote
but never got a =4
Plo t 2hapter
1 her due 2 us constantly arguing with each other fronting like we weans
b other( 1.). Sere it ist it's tolled "Con 1 got 2 know Ur. I h
that 7
1,VS 0Ai
iae d
2 SOSO its 2 0
atto n Z OOS ,' was esSela.
V that I was to tar, with 0
ai or think, that t was playing?
jib is
own' like V
74 11.00
wtil SO holdjpgja head
0 4 4100
. 001r 2 Await
l Illusakias U 4 Pao
Isa Flea 2 start this'. flee clipter off iith a
la* and knee that yell enjoy . #11' Ojar
nate pea! by me .titli4 riterar let
ANSiniei. tat Go"
know that ve final brest4,1‘.4e4.*:
t eying without sepplstiiii my nitola
` the /*sat Olt I moat hit
lesse Vu its killed
'get. 2 Patin***2 my own
*fitly"I. Cosset ant a bs alone
. 1 an 1SY 04,41:1 4440:14A on this earth
cum from all of our black birtha
in this short iiis sest
a elan in hearse
in .414itwnsion te Stole Little :Wito ad, his tranniorset
got 2imature in2 his am I Wrotethis poet 4 his fter I.
life* Vitti that Wine .sisiiiolstlit-bigin this asteiiiiikiptet
Sett, I'm pins 2 leeds middle school and, _ -4,110K1 Se. It was * 110001
combined with tete el eat and.P : -
-aid th, beau ty.Amit_thosi Se* Pelee*"
at wont 2 this etb001, the treetiftikiute VIt ieut40 0't 00 me er e no the other chicks
I dealt 'tideless some beautiful S tith* but theft •t sairY 'breed* was on l' ehele ether
lethal X walked in the classroom and as soon as / walked in pat sew me and stuck her tongue
- at se. V. not gone Reale* was *king so pod that her tongue looked like a sliced
eh hating out of her mouthy I **r ed her and acted like I didn't see it and went
2 walk pass her desk so I could Whist my desk and I slain tripped and fell because honey
bid Stack her font out and tried 2 trip me. I looked at her and she just said Rescues
se. I accepted her response and eat down at my desk nest 2 my .homies kasha and george
*tett from nicatoin. teasel was 4 laid back cat and *aorta was like me and had a nice
fight gems. MS and choose used 2:eispba; n11 of the time in the bathroom 2 keep our fight
tete tight s Me And P orte used 2 pettish cats in them bathrooms, I used 2 listen 2 the
0,04bers in my classes but I woreorelocused on the girls and startin g trouble. George
*ad-knea d used 2 always end up helping as with my schoolwork because I wasn't paying
It was * girl named shelly that woo in my clews and
she was a straight tomboy. Shelly
ass of ft Me and her got real cool. Shelly never did her hair or nothing
sad always looked like she Just got through wrestling with somebody. When people amid
2 . try 2 bust on her it always lead 24:fight because *holly had a teeter. It was anothar
Oil IA the class that was my heart and that was Jennifer waters. Jennifer was beautiful,
had a,bengith bodyland could fi ght her ass off! I used relways chump her boyfriends and
idwimottit gat mad at me and not speak but it didn't lest long because I-always made her
lau gh and she would" tato. me. And last but not l een.' was tig ht with lashonda thorns*,
used 2 bust on ;tone end hank, ;nether, I lik ed Leeds and I really liked- the butter
thapsh.tothies and chocolate milk they had at lunchtime 4 sale. X was in the cafeteria
the due and this loud mouth cat named CM* was ar guing with my haute kassul. I saw tyres
fisht , h4-mai / wasn't impressed. timaul wasn't no chump but he was diplomatic hie 2 his
featly situation and he didn't need 2 gat suspended. While they were arguithaphe other
Ipud Sentb thick Jain like tires named fel* * sus over and grabbed tyree-and they walked
always kept it in my mind that if me and tyres ever got in2 it I was saint 2 punish
could fight her
lift the cafeteria and went back 2 class with no casualties. I met so many good dudes
wide like my toots J . T .Il ta nusJeattl sowell,chris haarypand plot of other cats but the
has that I'll never 4got is my hosts 2ta/11 2tall and his sitar rasheedah came 2 our school
, rtatheadtb got put it our class and ltal/ sot put in another class but he used 2 always
sad pick rashitedah up after class and after schools Rasheadah ended up getting, tont
pat and honey andthey were inseparable. If u saw one thou u saw them all. At this
-I-tros-in leads 4-alnost a-year so-I-kaew everybody there-almosti and me,pam,and-honey
kitd . tilte a lets/hate relationship going on, It was Celt, but somehow it worked itself
Ade and rashottdah used 2 argue all of the time and it was never my fault. If I argued
pea or honey then rasheedsh would jump in it but the crazy thing was that as much hig es. mat her argutdolf /mother chick besides honey and p4M tried 2 argue with malrasheatish
would Jump in her ass!It was like only hertPee st ad honey could argue with me and nobody
else could. Like rsaideit was crazy!
hal/ and honey e nded up getting ;g•ther but nail was a player. I's not gonna front,the
cat was smooth! X used 2 *etch 2041 get with honey gad thee hooky school with me and
ge 2 another chick crib. I never told honey but he ass flicking her girlfriends and all!
Via only putting it in my book now because he's married 2 107 Ittsisister nikki and that
are in loves /tall had a crazy basketball game and could've went on 2 Say pro ball but
be Just loved tta Streets more the he loved playing bell. At gym time all of the girls
and 2 come 2 the gym 2 watch 2tell Pier ball and honer used 2 get mad and be about 2
beet some thick down and 2411 would have 2 calm her down. Me- and him ended up getting
tint like brothers. / used 2 toll 2411 how I felt about Pa w and he useel be like "Damn
smat tehy u don't tell her so u ceases* with pam while I mess with hona y ",and I wed 2
tail him that I was pies 2 tell pea and I be really about 2 tell her and then-Swould
get in a dumb as argument with her and be libefeck_it. Pea is stubborn and she got slot
of pride so I used :2 always have 2 make it right with us cause she too prideful 2 awe
2 me se I had 2 learn that paaela marmoset was going 2, be right 95% of the timeocrazy
right? The things we do 4 these tirlsi"
Pam.heatty.sad reshoodah had started taking applicationsrk chicks who wanted 2 be in
their crew sad a chick named earth submitted her application and became * member. Sarah'
R , Jo ksod
mem always was at wor k 90 h er,eNt-w44, th t,h09kreiattVES4ed 2.80 ov er are a crib and
chill and grind on chicks and stuff. It aat 4 bOaSO tt- StO t l. The Seat week that lush's
application got approved A bet flunky position by pemihonebead rasher/dam hoste KenYatte
ended up coming 2 the school and ' OrPtlightskte chick atatt.tadlre Oise too: Nedire was
• lightskin chick with short hairs Sherman alright and she ended up hanging with pemohoneY
and resbeedsh but / didn't like her at411 because she aid 2. constantly talk about pan
and honey behind they back and then smile in they face like*. was cool, She was a fake
SOS chick and she only hung with . pam # honeywand resheedah because in our grade level all
of the chicks in ihat School followed them and wanted 2 he like them: A/oi of chicks didn't
like rasheedah because she wasn't eaSy ,2 cut 1n2 and she was outspoken end used 2 chock
*lot of the fake ass chicks in the school. I used 2 love watching
rasheedah check then
fake ass chicks and theystart bitchili,dp and back pedallill: '
fenyetta came inthe
e schoolandlia became a chick ma it.
he in the bathroom'
with him. He and **Otte was wa r' ootT atetive and alot of people nied/2flb/Itktthat we
shooting dice and he .** t nlwa Ys talk me in2 ho ok Yi ng &A t:going oWer -40.01?0Ac ks crib
414alt feat with SO other cause of the way that we used 2 Argue with each other and
talk shit about each other hdethei* : yet haw we was. He knewflitted Pam tea and he
asked me if I told her yet as artoOort,ii° saw me and when4 t
told him that I didn't he was
like 'What u waiting AM I lied 40:,told him that I dld he-h er no more so we could
4140Se the subject: While we was in thebathrommothe school-NtA wet Mr 4OsS Same in
the bathroom smel ling l ike ' s ' dase of liquor and made us SO 2 our class * rkeOcience
end the teacher wilCas:moors: She was cool but I just didn't feel like going so me and
kespotte acted like we was going 2 class and left school out of the side door. As soon
tepee get out side:the school police officer named ariehapmen saw us and chased us down.:
After we out ran mr: cheiman we weat-Tthe cheltenha, mall. We stayed in the cheltenhen
melt nett/ Aom just 2 make it look good and then We went home and told kenyette that
I would sae him 2morrow.
_ / Vent home AO dropped my bookbag off and changed clothes and grabbed some money out
Mt*. mattress end went 2 Web* crib so I could kick it with her brother: When I walked
up on the porch,mont was sitting on his Dave with no shirt on with his hostas ski and
reyi-I asked him where tasks weeand-he said testa was in the house with dens 444 *Labelle
Inv', wont in 2 say what's up with this. I don't know what it was about this chick mieba/le
but she used I just turn me 0411 l ust wanted 2 kiss her ee bad! I was thirteen at this
time and mittene was a couple Years older thou se se she never took me serfage: I used
2 .istl her how beautiful she was and that I wasted her but she used 2 shbot=medown but
I User stopped pursuing her: I sat on the couch in the middle of Cash& cone* dame and
michille and deaa Was Like "What's up rhonshewor: I said what's up back and Started my
shit with sickens and she Just started smiling: Dene'ven t my Mare We never had sus or
settling but me and her just clicked from SY oats We used k'cell , het. tee. My bootie tyriek
aid Writes madly in love but dam was a player! I remember one time gene told me 2 walk
her 2 the store and she had on this dress that looked like it was painted on l-She had
all OP* of cars pulling over 2 get her umber and because I was with her they would ask
ms was she my girl and t would be like uNews and they would go at Sr for her number:
1 used 2 ge l awkward' because I knew how tyriek felt about her and I didn't know if I
should tell his but tyriek had slot of chicks on the side too se I felt like they was
area so I Jut minded my business,
I kicked it With tuba an d he r squid for & few sore minutes and then I went home * As
soon as I wen t in the hones my sister had her girlfriend over ther named netallas Natalie
had a crush on me sad used 2 always flirt with ma. I tried 2 *Pare her but this partite/4r day that she caught ae I was horny! Natalia had a fat little ass too and she was
delta all of this freak shit like sucking on her asatil and asking ea was I hard lobo
Me and +loner room was the 'tat roe* that You hit as soon. as i crime up the step* and on
this particular day nobody was boat *inept for te:sy sister and my grandmother * So I told
asteile 2 go upstairs in the bathroom while m y sister distract my grandmother and till
up. I told her that my room is the first room U see as aeon as u walk up the
steps. She went upstairs end I Sot my sister 2 distract my grandmother se I Sold sneak
upstairs awl when I' got upstairs /told eaten& 2 come on in my roar and she did * As soth
as she CM in sy roam she started undressing 00 r knew that she knew what she was dotal*
She said that she wasted 2 keep the lights out too: I pulled my Oasts down and she laid
ea the bad on her stomach end said "I Went a 2 fuck me like this and do i theats . She
didn't have 2 sok me twice! I hopped on her ass and got up in her and she espeapertightt
After llke ten at
OM I oil,
Tele Ithe_.*IdieloVe_19**0 do this ono mars tins"
end I got up in her again
neesed her.440_0404_044 I OM even quicker but I
was still hard! I
111W Dena
* the bar * Ski octa l the bathroom 2 clean herself
up end when she
out of the
broom she went downstairs and got' beck with my sister
sad I welt in2 the
throne sad leaned up. After I ma done I went downstairs and my stater
pulled as 2 the •id and was 11
"Why you fuck Natalia in her ass?", I was like "What?
I ain't tick her in the ase. She to ld you that?". My sister said "Yeah.but don't say nothing.
She a v:!gin and thst's how abs
doing it". It all made some now cause I knew I wasn't
IMA 04 Potpie& This
16 done deceived me!
book dna* room with V Si. and I told her 2 come here and as 'soon as she got
she was like "So I'm ya girl nowt". I told her New you can't be my girl cause
•t messing.with johnett I". Johnette wes a beautiful chick with short hair t t
ht ell of the ttee. I
walking my brother Donny home from school one day ad
'end toid her that Mho
• my girl end abs said-okay...Unbeknown** 2 me was
posed 2 be Dosses si 1 , first. When I asked her 000it it she id that the was
but I knew she was ylos cause my brother never lied 2 is o on his dick. lateand went 2 school t
nett day and told everybody thatlwe f ked! Why did
tte usht r sad beat the brakes off of her and then T
4 Wes t apt I had 2 tell Johnette 2 leave myleter,s
89 MOO that my aunt used 2 leave the rant
house. johnette used 2 terrify my sie1ei
didn't have nothing 2 do with me *ad
good friends. Later on that day I
Mont said that Jackis. that lived
vas moving end that we was going.
should weer end he said just
sweating alot. I told him *iris
on the block. Oldhsed Mont sot us 4
so I was reedy! By the time that we
. / was dancing with dean near eve
fled at Raked who had a towel
net the wall With one of her le
t sight. Tyriek vim dancing oft
her but she was more on Tyriek
so Set lonsuktus 2 drink and so did
dancing and I had her all up on the
'go! She felt so good in my arms. It
"alight husband beak"
cooky and ain't give duck about
around and punish whoever her hue
s- teadies there ailing at me,
told Tyrlek that ; kept it warm 4
the kitchen my holds Mont was up
that I had 2 have her! She was it
y he Oi t a demists with Jackie right
tenitegyall just enjoy yell Selves
40 NO she not pool dame at
make p
sirs. I:watched Jackie makes
nis i . She mad e amino 7 al
weas I could ti l, of her
*ice and turned around 2
,ebèk classics. I:entid like X
2 ea. I told her thati don't
$0 . 110t, a rag and willed off all of
4 s was I okay and I told her no
oet-hosn ale 2 deice with Frady,
. gt
• laid "Aww.let as finish fie
les* sees cuss' I told.everybodithat
y sad she gave me e hug. / went d
tb Jackie altikaand Mont IOW "41
y not with Your.
IL! Gees on the elle and Called
in the bosseset with as and
his heed and Rosthed sod *risk
eve how good Jackie felt, She f
soft! And she smelled like the
om 4 flan
you Grath it
bonne that the soot sever
you and me.Tyrish.MootrAed
F VS out
Tuba and
.savjng out Vint 2 Tans i s crate,
going hoes
and Moot walked Tuba 2 her crib, do
hoc r oom.
of thee* stuffed animals 04 her
d us a
4, a topple
tb them. tho
of minute* and then Mont
1 4100,41 and Were was right to ,frost
ed A
2 'pave out
Peel s* as =sa ss Lidera tried 2
her up
the wellb4 she could say
pitrsionate tongue 400 whits1 , SW her ass andasYthistt
graded on
se she started
t in2 it and
hie; heavy,! backed up off of horsed sei I f
that Tyrisk
ye' husband but I j t had 2 kiss You'r esd I opened up the 400 sed it left her there
this,/ Serf while winked out of Tasho 's c rib and wes t hone
ouple days later aunt Tonle told me 2 get the phone and a sesen orj: answered it
was liks "
*What you do to fedora in my room?".
MO "I ain't do nothing,
t she tell you I did?". Testa said *She ain't tell me not ns bet she asked se if
girlfriend and As said she suss' seas with You". I
like "b4 told me at
ty that Tyriek was her husband so how she want me nowt". T
80* "Whet you do
In my room?". I said "Nothing*.end Tuba said "Don't lie t mo or /Nuehick you
4 Nov b4 I go any further.I wenna add that Tasks can fight
and limed 2 fuck me up
the regular cause she law 1°11 savor hit her beck and she used
get off on me slot
West, So I told her exactly what Monad and she was like " a Wherst s , I said "Dame.
that from a kiss's'. She said "Toe knew what You was doing and
y ou Wins all innocent
Obit. So is you goes Milk to her or what?". I asked when she e toeing beck ever and
said Kadin would be spending the weekend with her and Dena his Week so come over
an saturday and don't tell nobody. I said okay and hung P th* Phone. ; set beck
g about faders. She was cuts with • phst ass too but she
eggseetive. She seamed
last innocent and gentle on the surface but raters was *strop iv* 4.a . 5wanted some.
I weld just have 2 be palest and ploy this one by ear.
t out of the house and went on the corner 2 the atom and
in; Meat's cousin Leon
its halo Dinero. he told es that he was hochY iut school 2me
sad that be told Rashest
to/ me that I can use ever 2 his crib cause Narbonne chick
tionique.and Natalia
going 2 be over there. I told him that I would be theta and wet in tholes* and got
t 'I needed and went home. This next morales I met up with
and Salt 2 Dimon
rib and Mario was sitting on the coach with Monique on his lap.
iquo wog this Melt
reek chick that fell inlove with Mario and basically stalked him d did Whatovor he told
2*. When I set downs/Mara to/4 ma that Natalia was upstairs,esd said thlit she not
0 nobody. When I went_upstoirsI I saw Natalia sitting, on the Odgo SO the bed and I
Sabrina under the covers naked. As soon as Sabrina sew me she t old Oin ro 2 get out
her a4i sho pulled
40 could fuck me end I. told ber that I Wasn't doing nothing
Severs back and opened her laps and spread open her Puss/ lips end old Igthenshown.don't
v$$ put ye' dick in hirer. I'loeked end I'm not tone lieptier sy weS looking goodt
that Ihe burnt my whole
eitOn had the room, sailingSW but I couldn't get over the t
keep it thet way. SY
seta the same time! I was the one that got sway end I was
super herd and I wanted fuck a hole through this chick t I just got up and
out of the room and Ibustssat went in there end foetid her, •
t in the basement 440 Mario and Monique was down that, witrtallsond Morro. Dimino
lag on he
r and rubbin g her tittles but when / came down t steps the sot up and
tsars and Dian* followud her. I sat down on the Coyish and Mario sem like "To.Nonique
ho know if she coital* in front of your. I'm like "Whet?. $O said "She horn y and
lent you to see her get tucked". I thought he was playing but itenique ttok her panties
if Sid Laid dove on the rug and Mario grabbed her logs and he hed:his hick 2 me with
+1,t lehP
d( S-041
:..t that the/1.1101:
..., 010t i the l eskLag
' x wet like, leek
tat Wok 2 ,
2 the tote I'm that ***
rnasilaid abs was iditat bia.the
dleatinams out sod amitebkla
in the bat with her 'Ott
%tees up?". She said
ad1 "WO mariU
of hot Of gag tutus mg. pills
was in SW hi ll ent rd i tO rio ant
he was la Otfi ln ip Afte r a 0,01*
' 41 4
I went in th* ragm.
Si* u mou with
t sat i t the
kt *et
• in the
1St ht
is waa • eas asked
if tubed dad I
u 2 today vitae•
I want a 2 heap it 011
talthiag t I .
I was *9 hater X wOule**
with kit. I Olfs00
**MIAs; it would ftstint.
ad Sa t tadtletted and Pt in the
Wei* the monthomflai
neat and calleThosolthee li cks
dawa-2 hot breSeiniti
SAO On nnf nitlAnn and she a
$ teal beano
I blew other stomach sad li
latod down 2 her navel and b
got 2 /let Mn nava/
she grabbed y tied and said
op dad does bar
•Pat it lor I
lips which was Seat w.
talcum I kisis*
s so 2-didn't net
2 : : Jun rae: it in bor. 20004
d ikon!' she 1040***4 el
1,-tithts 1 worked
• little al** she tot Used 2 that I slowly ate
Joe and
abs 444U* is
and moaned *Peck go bardorf" it
t I 'dust butt
said that but I started thiski
044, but host
-deur was tool letAi 0414, 1 ad* *IOW why shwa,
• said "I love u sliaohlwe
started tioiato g and
I tame so hard
fOtkod All 441 1.0044, Sho rod, 0104 tucked her in do ret/Xtime
drained andt idli erertthini petd . by the time it was ttas 4 us 2 lam I
' it hetei As 1104.1*- I dot is the hot** I fe ll on the bed' and waat`tn2 444000
• s. Miss 2 : woki u0 it. "at eight time atd .X Vat* on the
110i 2 *ell -APO
mu t Scald stack up acm. 44ACk money. GM waCost-thera sod toast/ volt
aril* real gni*
we So t 2 the drib ' sy hteit tout answered the door
kid where kip . staitt
lost said he was in the Senn Vs went in theb apu
0 had , a thick potty thick doss Oars in n nab& skirt I bek abiettead
044ad 4004 aa.: 1441 end said tha t he was loofa i.
g .**-MtrItIty
it ha had any drugs on him and gets Said be didn't have none on hit 014 now
a id bevy some tosiits4 tip told is 2 walk in the laundry reel with hie *nth*
,itorthat Oa Chick ease was a ni ta' aod the last started Smoking track mash* east
Y4 soma drugs * I Was 14 'liars old at this tins so r was young and horny. * told
i ll her ; coma talk 2 tio Pe hi p wont out with sees and sent saita - in the back with
.-. Mile haeluthets and Was like "I know kip told a what's up and a sexy . mitt hops
-* big dick mana - 2 nsed - 2 -44, 1 ". - I'm- no t gons:front * that-sbit- turned meand-I-oalY
word 4 her* SOLD' She said " Let ' s so in kiP P ra te to nobody can disturb ad's
• her out and told kip . / *mild be right back and we want in the gavots ' It was
algotakot already on the floor like this Alt was preaedliatedi She laid on the blanket and gat on the
OS *Prod her legs and her puny was so pretty * ; salad ay panto
Nteaket and put it in her and she was like "Oh my god babythold
gotta do it another
t boast too* Than
So I Mold he r 2 tho ai de and tr ied 2 fuck her and she Said
; triad 2 hit f ro* the hact.e*0 she couldn ' t 0*** it and was like
kat this* big ass dicks frost*. I got frustrated and thought that a waa playing
AS wont back 2 missionary and Mben 2 finally got it in bar I sew that she was ing.
eats* her pussy was tight **ball! She was hoilerlAS eat whole tins HA* I was
jigs her and had me faslintlits-2 . wes Syron Long or somebody! The pussy was so good.
than ova her four Rinks and 4 20 its the 004 1d tot aolO thite 2 eat ***- teato think
Yei and that she wonted 2 tuck aa . alote and °kat me if I'm alwa ys over tbert-and I told
her I be over thee* slot and ohs said that the nett time she toms Ova* abort ohs want
some *ere of me and I told latr'thatlwams t * a pra blat4. 2 lo ft out of the - gata and told
Itst -2 tall goo t want back on On 07.0044 When I . tort on the avenue t saw libby sad my
diet astuntif Sot hare t walked up 2 her and she -triad 2 tarn her bead but ta w that
aet ay. am swan att4 igatdistaly got sad* Isiclibby seat Cesek but she was toed
peoples and t sot slot of love 4 lei. I snid'"Libby,who the tusk did that skit?", She
said shohody that I found oat that the skinny cat that she was tucking with di. it', I
*shod her was shs,alright and She said she was but A* was hustof and she needed mase
AMP* I lime her two au" lad ististwt hor in2 oharlsoo and told her . 2 order whataver
ter pad
R , isic.lcol-00
' she Shad and paid 4 it Mk i' bs thanked-se and / told hattbe estsfal and thealc left
Out ofthettartand wentir.
I sit 4 the house : sac mYr2M
per of,
o ,-404lad MO God told me 2 come seethison
our Mott in fit*. Mioutas,./ tried 2 protest but he had Alit** boat the phonet P. I was
cued 44 hail bat this was tiriekbeallAns 00 and m ithio.agtfilhood was that closest out
f our whole crew and us three hgAmjspetel lint with ea 'Haber that could flavor be
broken. Sot 2 the corner $$# tyriek ms.*fil "Walk ai. 2 tkr7 III we got 2 his crib ad
there and rioted ettiih:lawes. , 0as thing about tr.,
h is
. SiorAndsom.snd grandfather
P4Ahl tleeilf. is that thWpmpitfrés kbettreetstad 4140t 0. 014,t0tosof people 2 be
00.1414a their hoopla: Itseell,-* :t .. 0 *sunny would have 2, yea on the or:miti: but me
at **Oat was the only two th a t SOH rAwpgip AtS , StAk:**1 be esZeist$: with open erns
Ws Seetal his 10****0,144,M*402104:,Iiikh4.0,2*,0051 itthowingthis-2
'ILA ain't gotta tell
Pit 110 ,don't Sit skit 2 *SOY - 4 snapped on A tt.,* 1
me. s a St . Wm that ' s* brothers! !",.- Went -2 the SO te
and pulled out • *9
lanes hOm4gaa and a 00 114100
, ', -nt,t1 *WI Ar4 c1c4P tal! Re sawthe ver X was Looking
'Matto lthe.:!!/..**********PP*014,2 !lit and cop our******4° *tan
ilithlt .**** botrrilat ilth *8* and I'm OPPPOS oft of. hio oult. TOOttaad y be
*ff4t short so we gone *toot our tin** end . When we right we gone some"
O half othirktigkluat so from there.ttith.itls . I smiled and rhatliik.
4 thalhadsun end when 1 sot it it" :to405 I felt that iii* ****41 and connection that
a read
/ felt when I held ki p Son itip**t.,.,-,, /*tisk 64w hot r*** attached 2 the gun and
Wan t S than we gotta 2 the gunplay with's.. So coolout on ail of that fi ght* shtteme.'
getting this mofiabfUtb these nissost*. I save tyriek the sun back and-welsh hit
At this tioe.tyriok was thirteen years old and I was fourteen, r understood tyriskis
-.0ageosa 2,mplaraass that we were nuttily kids in e -grown map l e sumo but I couldn't
AIM* Snail Aimse that', whatI was :known for. I walked 'home and thought about the tont01440000** is and.t.friek Imai: justhad and t k000 that voters on s-whOledifferont
level then our OhoiscsAtthe cats in our *is Sroall../ got home and went 2 sleep, The
'llaintas. I got up and Went 2 school and as soon as I got in school and eat s* Mei*
he wee like "h i ss bovine * **MY Party over serah , Orth and everybody Soo* ,blt-thir*4
• I xtrbtaitaat-boiaMaa 4.444,4at ao*Pandied sa4. 040,asito many days that the
442terlhad -00000P -toid. a* that . / got one more strike and I 'A done at
- 44 2t$A1 114W as thinking about it and sweetened the Pot and said *Deft and honey
there too". I WOO 000.1 know why 44 said it And when / stellod.1***21.441*0
'ew ing I had caught on 2 his manipulation. 1 said I would so but ti ghts fiat hone
tta so :I-could lethim: knot what's up, ;till -said PhO*tnd-told ms-104-aes-Os at sarahar2h. and went 2 *Ito*.. I woo lOOktali tlitta AO couldetfind, hisn I thought that
btaillet even came 2 school 0444 day until I remembered that 44- was fucking this older
OP* that wont there on 041 other floor. So t. went 2 the floor that the chick bottoms
010* mu on and just Jibs X thollaht4**alatka.Val 44 the sideof t he girls locker 'west
tilking , her. / shook m* ha44 and went 2 S ot my hosts, As soon as I set up close 2 pia
m-e big husky oilla ftm* Out of the clitsetoWspandtikod ken yattm why he was talking 2
Mall The girl that 100*U was talking to ran in the class and left Ohtana out
S. Malt let mo wroteckahlathr wtta Plitttbo Y and all but he was far from a Mai
ms And him always 0840 upflachigivalse 414W up 2sethat1 Konyatts and the cat started
and the nista pashetkanyttftend told him 2]comeArhatbroam so they Gould fight.
heard that I ran around the O ther before they Sot in there and hid in one of the
1I *I is
the bacht0Olt. 2 Vaikid for a oblate and than 1 hoard that 444.4 in the bathroom
sad 1 Old out of the mtaiii./en/itta law me first and smiled and started . teikins gross*
41Motet so he wouldn't look- behind him and stay focused on . ksnyitta. It *Ail* and be
When he realised
ahlilled at kmayatts and I oi4OO thIPOd]Mim and hit himsCht
run and kouyetts pundit
that it was 4 446444 and not 0 rundown like h e otPoC t
lain his sloth and sow hi. lip wide, open. Re Orth094 his flOnth and tried / plead
1,14 :1* tiitialitilY. oktoO*4 his *00,24 that blithroeo.,80074kts wanted 2 use our belts 2.
titillate, and put him in the middle of the hslimith a sets on him 4 the whole school
I see but I told that nisi* x,wasn't denoting my bait 2 that I ant some good
We loft out of the bathroom and lamlystts started smiling and was like *Osti a AO what's
S. Shod Muer. I told him *Do u remember the chick Borah?". Re said *Nair. I Mate
12 4 ‘.14ck4-64r
albs ftUtilty hicareeha chick with, the heat on her feet ,thet, be with Pa ul hOOS.'1.0 d nohonth
in aide; lio . 1001(.8 tune ater, than he totOtEiird her 'tiose , aittish had a fit Pea Scts *Amu mAitutozikti IOW abs insi'l et with thiii0o4 'Osage. ',If.40 2 *she IS the seed .0.00*Sh0
having A beaky patty at her spot and we thattlitc" 2*iiiiiitte vefld 'Mee we out thoittitise'
Sarah crib' waSacross
' ' fil'idisii'diast the Slit,: dia'ititiei: Sitih. was ilko tin
gra ** u. chbot ,ims. _ it *); :,%P .:- TO $410:, X/Op. glint . #4, PO** !,..nd '
th *th t
' i27. 44:
. :,
*Oda was ,e00, talt . 000P WY,
6144 seeith, e00r0
titen wasat and.., 464_4O44 ,i „
4 14 Oat ,2110* middle
root'' aid
was locked. rh it. yelliadte 2tin that
0 00 deeh
and X asked her was
I, got pei,answr. honey . happened
i i
Jt$11 in this room, and she . ' i4 yelk
„ and 4)._,
liviEg room. ' was about 2 n iLe away . USW
heeiteA, on thi door
"Fete I know as in
0200, ha41,r
*so Or
b locked ',17..
rod. andop
11$410 gas looking all 2tholdn(*
t'uth 4.1*. th io he vat about to,
dand told her that she tripping.
like shetilee:thr
*GAO SO, like "Ain't nob
the tuck as to this room with thu
C-01- with this!
• ..
*I 440 "1'4 1S t.
then she
00.01,001402 1.00 Eate :
• yhtsrealnaisevhen
. onyca
400,, 04.
-e room.
i 440 1.0. nii• 440 4,0140th-
'AO t
ifot.** ipt ifs kitchen and left honey and Oita
**POMO ot,00.440.4 ahe was now talki g 8 2 Iceoyattat and Z . 41 344 ."Damn
*424 the
Alie41" *St,* know u had tale in ehimerf*ilitlitill said 2 i*rt. 04011.14, 0400.: •-heee*-( hcorl- hut . 1;1441 0.40httch - wth.14 4 Aththu and
ppiug hone y from fifththit,tht uPl s*
III .4044!! Ont. and 'th4tok'S were
Sik.kentioiompikk iint:`. 0*74414t of tt* Intlis %earl:4*c of the eteiiteeet .10 hon.
yatta.mflsd wherethat were going and honey soidi*Ok'eheitt 2 heat this h*pab They
vent down in- the laundry room and te).i ** leie been a . iekrip., the way shavassp!Osdide
watched this flit 44 it was thber,liesitaieW•ta
hone y , We Jost ogesit .0
, 1
used:Xhayo all 047.:oreddt,ead Ooicehs. , is oataii, that sea Seth' 2'00001,
44 4441044iLth4:ti44 204* hod telhiither
1‘ 1,002110 crime. Honey
and we
ite0iA0002-440Vatif She telnet4
thotatt on on thit ytekhOttlie itoteko rte of 00teles: 0etthhere 004 out and
400eixthiticek02.1iWeireh.teliiiket that it 44 Aed - wa.All want back
14 keeTeeseyee in the hteshei OsIktes about ohitA*(14Ou
, 4 almost . lot P1,...**14Y•ii:104i.0,t Ott' an and :that
*7: tethtae'PhietO:hhaoY but why as stet
go ile ma yeti s . 1 just
Se 00.9P. as 2- ofik 4,:sterkstiVil a front doer
busted Oleo and it was ' t ,0004hi n0h4- 4h0- A* 0,004 °Preto;
101214 ktOthOo windows. l
4104 004 .V0: ofte:beetk 2 Plo t..
at Imi.*„ .iket the jump was and 1 Old 20,all
i istuat.svi ttiood 014 of
looked, out If it Or Aiii**4 and
"Posh Sit I Atinfc7j01414 out
0014 241,1 loOkait7,Pat of if .he agreed too. The cops eitiekliftrii
escorted all of us out of
thotri# We were all **Mail and
idkii4lii,s stop via ono4hOoot,e
litOtau4Satteta *hod
tubitS ... . bid ,
I tett Ont that he was
J k telt)
ta 4 metut I took
the number end girl it 2 ken y atta_
said the chick nadirs
teas 4 sire it 2 ut H. opened it vpnd saw that it was .kMnumber
saw the Ifs*
52 2W feat and thought that W itAttOh t nu2S2Y. 4 T4202 442007 . tb204 about kaatettaishat
I lOve,if be fucks with 4 and be.ea“art4. y104 tkakatek.atthfik.Moutty-or nothing gone
(tagai ta bittWO44 pal. 2 this day me and are like brothers. That's my hunt'
441 asked. we milhat H uwan”htuumbert rt I was lik0:t4Oet .- 10sa like "What's up?! . I was
itha don i tilha,thaLChick ce400 she be up04, 4*4TA011.*41tonty-bothlati/they bath
and than OsiIlat-Zti.ther.taSs 4152-,Shk4201,nti Without any
thoug ht.henyatta ballad,
the tuShinc ovoid said "Oa.10141,00tnn ah 2 : ber end taZAlnir.ett cool". I: gavo the number
bark 2. her and she looked:liket400 had egg yolk all over her facto I laughed all in her
fete* / told koyatta how she looked wh en I gave her the numherlsokand_we both started'
cr4040.2 , -the fault" 10444t2StV
n the driveway
2440 and went , *wound op
not home an0 "21112suk01:411
, _
. play
that uent i - thaill 90 nth 204*:/-:te...221/0 420204 While L. Aesecin -than, I got itt2
"sisigist with scoOth and some cat
-randy. !Candy. was three-icittra abior than We and
be used 2 lift weights so he was stocky and 0004 up lik404,aation-fi gurett tan* out
*WS *ad *ass two Ca tsittortlzkaVthe y 'S* 404e roll on*444a up on his
!Sipe in it*, thaffalt:bacck that day but this slits was far EtOn'PePti*lth t I hugged
04 and told hiStl..;)0*.20.SPICIOS:1!is. 02000 in 'a few minutes and I wilitha00,14 the
•:rose out 0207 pro400sehirandi t lad Park be****(014-04*. tAtimilk,4*-41pck-1.40i
flair* galled me and
:thirty other cats an bikes. They
on OO an4,4aaaAkapt riding thros0a4m04000
Id 2 reshot:Lb/oat Ont- ua 2. 424.4Si t he was at teShisOhOt h*r moat crib *le
. et over there end chilled . onchfratopi with thtat'WhilS-WO were sittinuotc0011
*s40(dyinking e 40 a* of ;$ v*422-i atOoch and hip-girl„tawannt-walhed-Chrough.thaloakt
*so stlembOksli m She was bad! Long hair and all! That eel*** et* all i n 4Y-09400t*
*like my man: 2paa and it was sta g n a nt the wa tX d .-- ..Iteau them walking down the hjlek'
I t0/4-cashead:Umake aura nobody got in this and went across the-street 2 Whet* Tarr
it#10anne hasty of ma but didetrialootall y kpawl . se410. when -I walked up she wAs like
; 's up rhanshanee t I natk ftWhge:SuP2" heck 2 Osio
.ca dr, at salsa and L. said %Mail s u p now WW2 can get a fair mar and he was
Ask "I ain't got no : problem.with is rhos:shwa s . I uacc-likt.*Pach all thatsbitokitee
lotrti up* names Ttiana ts was like ”Rhonshiwn he don't wan* fi g ht yenet.1-Iaakit
sod, nearigh toks ,.40s7t mencutfight-me"that-tgotta„give me ye girl". He
41040 ,.4own at the ground 404 b4 bal.could sal an Ith in g 24** I punched him in his face
sad he fall on a car. I: 20t on top of him and !totted punabinthimHand tawanne-was(beggitsfA: 10 2 etas. I.ittopped and ay:met:Oar:to p of him and told_taintena- *If u really want me
-2-etop-then-tell--this pussy that it's over enti'givelatla number". She said "Rboashaaa
please don't hurt him.I'it gits. u . my number". I at/lad taahead across the street and to/4
her flive her number 2 him and I told . reshead 2 use POWP0021, 2 cell it -2 **elf it's
'inset number and she gave her number 1 rashateCand he went and used moot phone and
verified that it was the realtuMber,I. then told her 2 tell-scatnab that ft was over and
she told bine I then told acaoct2s04;the fuck out of here. Re gat up and walketoff
eta* block. /ash* brother.mant_tald:Me that I was craz y end-we:started drinking again.
Titsanna was .a special blend like . nadrect. I-want ham, that night and thought about how
lift was changiag ic me hic I fall ialost.
twound I wont over 2 teaks crib and kadera and dant-was spending the- night over
Char*. !t and 'cedars ended nO : hiSnins . on the couch in thi . .4irk , end then out of nowhere
/ Sod a familiar voice say "So ihopahaWn.1 see u got *adopt". I:/ookid-over 2 the oho
* Such and sew dee underneath of the pile of clothes lanehlait I said "Te.get outt we
tSYnn-tahe care of aanathinart, Dien -leaShi4 a24-404- uic and went Sy stoles in 400hkemeso
Na and teders continued Senile and her sea waat . so juicyt I wiatect2 fuck her an bad but
she wouldn't /at ma. t took-hathind and Out it in sr sops so she could 2 00144, hallo
and ass that I was working with k tuil t 4P- down there that needed emptying. She was like
nee too man y Pearcie here 4 us 2 do Anything", I vent along with it and we just continued
hiSsias until my bolo moat -came in the criband said that my pop was looking 4 me. X
get up and told kadera that I I II . be.bick-littar and she lased Otr-and - told me 2 be careful
and I left. I got.hose-Atad*I:setraittop endlinetrantatartatisuitt, He told merthat my
mother had gotten herself 2gether act : that she waned ual all live 2gethor. I-bathos,
Wirt*, with hot for * 09,01140 .optbs now nd she wee hinting towards that.t talked 2
brie loof 4001 , and they really n
4-they would if.; ant. , Poen
4003 have a tvrtklehrgoing because he used 2 live in south phat , and had friend* there
sermly-ao . he said it Was cool as /oat as I went. I: told , ritpop I had 2 think about
and I would talk 2 him later,
to the Tooth *tug center. Lt thhit i hhheytha Youth
T :eeSed oP l
f ail& laded
stud y-center was one of Minot feared tare-nal facilities * I heard stories about cite tiSit' rePti thoth sp i tted committing suicide * /' got put a,mnit 3d , with. abgtf mew
anse.harray * . R. was like a suttees!. father 2 all of us, The y oungest any on- the block
NO a4IOY used Oro.. hollawaY but everybody celled him tY.,We and him got real tight
Woes* be loved 21- fight tea * -Ty introduced
we 2 everybody on t he unit that he totted
lathg,,iimat twin from 23r4 and dittoed*, end we ended up , getting tight like brothera * I met
11/21.m. "%te wee" butler who became family *loci met Those "'boom breasts: who became
iteatlgoeut I met eaten }Slot" frea,Wilson projects who bemire- like falitly * kit sf us used
• ltsethar alti; of the time. We atal atcarad, and hankust : on the blinnit- with , each otherci
.intre other cats an the -hiarcl
, 5, that hated out unity htit3, they couldn't do a thirs t &mit
was tiutre. , Cie-few weeks wiltdrc get in2 my first fight.. A say nested dame:gee started
ight with we because , 1 ite,tha-ShVOSt cat on the block. He Oiled me a pussy boons*
, was beating hie in spades and talking shtt and he dida rtf,itka it* lie told me 2 coma
in his tut so we could tumble* it this time • all : of the staff was in the hallway talking
Oa I jest , stole. , htm and he fell right on the ground. He went 2, get up and I hit him in
ithel . mauth and again in the eye and he was like " That's enough!". It was too late now cause/
ins in my sonte.tiO Or his holer , tried 2. get in it and help him * One of them was a
all cat with some weight on his and the other:
was medium. weight. Ty hit the mediatt. n
night guy'once, ,in the temple with a, right hook and he went right out! Wee Wee was fighting
', ether gay- sad it looked like a midget trysts fight a giant due to their sinew but wee
banned 2 be david 2 thispliath because wee wet hit this cat with like a twelve
coohleotton- and when the guy tried 2 hold on 2 wee wee 2 sop the punches from coming
,inetr pitotet,2 the right and allt- hit the guy with a over handed left and the guy hh• out : The combtnatton was so beautiful that u heard cats in the background • like
Kt hole boo walked over 2- whore gee was at on the ground and told him ul told
U about rttapigg ye' mouth didn't X?" end sla pp ed the bullshit out of him and then me and
Shmenial this 44.4$11 'until staff , cane and broke it . up *•
iiith14- dill I kne, was that was the last straw 4 ty and wee Wee so aura, said that they
wee getting kicked off : of the , block and we all protested , which, made it even worst * Ty
Sea& 2 the dockside on the fourth floor and than twin oat and sucker punched some
that ty was cool with 4 not getting in the fight which , got him kicked- off of the bias/
* So aectwtarand wee wet got oat to the fifth floor. We was the youngest cats
- fifth floor but the -older- guys liked Pe Oast we had heart. The - staff took us • under
it. The stiff was bo lo cwat tinkcani hasn't**. They had movie night and they would
PS in,differeatumovies 4 no 2 watch and we watched them* We was so reckless that we
vosidn't listen 2 none of them. and we constantly was fighting and starting trouble *Pi
U :a lucked with 000 Of US we all got in it so it was tra g ic We didn't cars about nothiugt
The staff used 2 talk 2 us about making positive choices in life but we didn't care *boat' .
eons of that. They used 2 brio* belvia from southwest to the unit with us cause he was
as crutches at this time from bates shot and he used 2 love being around us. Beivin was
'0 100,01 truths fucks and used 2 have the whole unit in tears but he had another side 2
•I, s too. ./1. used 2 be My spates partner and we used 2 gamble cats on the unit for their
rattan and we always won * Than one day 1. staff member eased hamilton , told us- that we
silt be settee oily. 2day because he had a movie that he wanted us 2 watch and due to
it Oleg so long in time we had 2 eat early SO WO 40 4 1 4 watch 411 of it* We went and 44e.
aed ceme hack on the unit and ,archsnilton played a movie that would change my weir of think/es 4ever-The autobiography of helot. X. I watched this movie and by the end of it I
was in tears when begot
T over understood why he just, allowed himself 2 be killed and I didn't understand why
we would want 2 kill his, ritillst didn't make sense 2 me. That night we all took our
*Webillehle and *Sea muslin and every .white boy as that t Notfieir ass whooped that
,,week. A couple oaths later I : got seat 2
" d prepare 4 the next
chapter in my journey of life* : The night 14 I sot seat 2
I thought about 4
414414t146 that I was in that I could've been killed in. I was twelve years old and I had
bat up tbtsp Jamaican kid awned Jane and took his Deeper and theta off of him * ape had
R 4 A-0Ictod
adethrothar named ckrk that va. a 914 4rfl 4jtr thfl hustled 4 a tut MOS tok.
et and tehd his WOW
in Or hood. I
whet happened &lnd that I was hanflng on the VS. Ply oldhssd pee wee. happened A be sato*
thi street at this nee* h.
1#1 i n the hoed that wee w021 respected
feared. lie u.ea 2 mess with my aunt, tonic and used -hive in 'enjoy and always looted at
me like his little brother. .
By the time joss and his brother Otte had pitted up on4, ,lt ‘ the oppitsits corner where
was standing at,Vith'etbemie ' msool strong and a 20 4404107t a was Planes around
with 4 ',IO W *4 2 loortio that & hod 00t UPliew the wing. June 02 chits P44 0 up
and Jane get out of the oar 40 ieint42 2 me 04 theit h ie, *other Obrin"OlitCe tit ab
gun out and pointed it at *tend iiO4* tiva_ma re brother 4022 or i 040 * tit ° 01
firatnican accent. rtold hint 2 '00k,tho $44 2**4 02 11044- 4 4 it andt4 he could wuY
soYtitiottPse eto had ran across the street with M kt** 01.0064, at 'brie h144- 02 4=402
Oktisttook his gad ind'toldliti 2 get the fuck omits hera_ji
Bgbf2s ran with
ntd gat it the car and pulled off. 1 thanked Pee V orl naehnike th in ee
nit 2 frod
thi s chapter withP,Wpoom dedieitet 2--that eight salted " then la liCe flashes b4 pa very
anal and Ihops u enjoy tt
*Whin 'With flashes b4 ye Vet, eyes"
*When ya life fleshes b4 ye very eyes
U pot everything in it's proper
organizing even fleet breath
14 GOD confiscates it out of Ta chest
V aim all of the little things
that * wish u could've just done 'right
Theta see all of the people that u hurt
eb440 living just one LOS
If could tithe bask all of the pain that u caused
1A*0 ye soul would finally be at inane
des discover vs final hour ,re anticipation starts 2 cease
Sieve is the first plate that enters ya mind
Swing that a might SO 2 hell
Cass pa life was so full of crime
Than as a take ye last breath
and pa soul starts 2 rise
1pray that GOD Attires u 4 all
of .ye sins
when ye life flashes b4 ye 'fort 'Yet..
ft • J c(41-0 at)
I got ant to the juvenile juntistanter(44.0)„,MPtil-oer ithe decided whet he wanted2 do with ma. I talked 2 hall Of ef, 44441 b4 T. left offidi,MOMPY01.44 thee that I Weald never
Agee them,. One of the staff members that took a liking 2:40 tamed nelson
walker who we
all celled walkolane 2 me and gave me a hug . end told me 2 tide* Aare of myself and try
2 Mein 4 the bettor. I told hi. that I would and then the staff from lic aim and got
doh J40 was alright. It wallet like I was locked up. I lived in a real house sad they
cooked reel food and we Wit 2 Okii4;c r didn't talk 2 anybody there and jolt *toyed 2
myself. AY tomato was an iteliM guy named Cement he WOrp_Polo.reeibtiksiahl all of the
stuff that* weer in the hood and he was a good dude. It was
guy in the room
with us noted 0 049t Marco IMP A bett y but he was cool and' funny as bell. I used 2 jolt
kle 2 setae'. They had girl* there too that cote even moral*, and left
2 waif
as four
in thean
afternoon. 4 04 :94440 used 2 have cenPettgeno 2 em who could get the
Mot girl'. tartan was relatee2:0**At in the mob satUthey used 2 bring him all kinds
01 and whatever he * god for. One day while we were to *Sheol thee
heYo frem the other the house started plotting OdiAkineet And came at him for his
clothes and his Mem. I ; iow-tt and Jol t shook el head, WW*4 three '0" then and they
Wachs, coven thit whole . ties vs were in u lnae After 4401 we all vent beck the house
04 I auk 2 the kitchen 2 got 004 lutto and otroon Went 2 the room we etet*C ln 2 tot
hie4hone book so be could make a ghee* dell and the three guys followed blii . this room.
/11O0 4k bitt I sited 2.sek how .t41014 (W ag 2 play outind-if ammo woo Bei ng 2 *tend
up Atgiti self. I drunk my juice and waited a couple minute* and then went 'Mantra and
,be" n I opened the door I saw daimon fighting He was fucking one guy tip end than the other
:rolled on him.
A an Soling Elto. at first after seein g that malcolvt z wort* I was about 2 just sit
bend *Cloy the show but carmen always shared whatever he had with me and mertto.and
041014 far from radiat .06 I hira 40We! I came in the room and stole the guy 0100eit
2: 66*Ad we gat 2 rumbling. This tWtteuld fight too cause I 'hit Ms with everything but
the kitchen sink And he asked for seconds! I knew than that me and carmen wouldhe here
for 4 , 011e. Zermatt all of the commotion and note* Our Othe r roomette heard At and marto
coa*tneaid jumped in it and evened the numbers. We ended up showing these Ceti that they
beilArtome herder thee that if they wanted 2 take somethin g from anybody in our room.
Staff caught on and kicked us out of our room and made tto sit downstairs until they *0004
olltrYthing. °et. Since carmen was the only white guy to the house they pulled him in the
alike and asked him what happened but carmenhold water and ain't do no telling! The
ether *tit coltictod that and Wave carmen enough resPect:) the point that he was the only
ettt41 007 In the house that was allowed 2 use any Slat on the Phony Carmen told le and
MVOs that he would never eget bow we helped him and the Whole time that wethere
hilbiaeht all *Lour clothes and sneakers end told me that if I ever meet up with him
On .the'etroste then whatever I needed
, . all I had 2 do was ask. I. thisday me and carmen
are-atill tight,
X *Wed at j$c 4 a couple months and then the judge gm, me Another chance end *ant
me back boa. I let cornea and"marce know that I was leovtog, and once mato I had 2 depart
from some now friends. , I got hone and the first two people I saw was wise and rasheed.
Uwe in the car with my grandmother so I C ouldn 't got out but as soon as we got 2 the
Mase,I put my bags in my re= and VO up the block 2 tee ol hostes. Tyrierand railhead
*614 .m that they missed me and,thei pi sister and brother had told them that I was 4011414
homelday. We all went 2 our hodett - eent crib and chilled in hi, beadiest end got dim*.
A maple *inutile leak after we get drunk.our other hedge Chuck came over with a kw named
sieve that I used 2 chose bosh in the day. Soot start leitttursteve tome over and used
2 00 Owocithtnt in my Pent 2EAtt hint 2 fight me. He was a Pueor 2 eet ond InevtIrtek and
roaheed-'04 lions and Mom don't tun with antelopes and gazelles. On the 40.0.411kt of
mriville moat he get a Peee **fin time to ended up growing on me. Teske
brother moot
had tailed our boats moat and tolfg* : 2 come 2 his basement muse ski and ray wee over
these end they wonted 2 see me 0401 had S uet case helio"serve went over there.
When we got over there it was two white stria over there And one of them named mallY
was messing with task* brother MOE end the other one misthlm was meats, with ski.
Lie was rich and drove a 3.0. We got drunk some more sad out of no where Chuck pulled
me *Ad Ortek 2 the side and said that he had stole the keys 2 ktm 5.0 and him and stove
cfrto Al
was going 2 take it and be:44 04,0914d.tiriek,it
-2. SO with them. TYrtek-wes
ake hag it lees pps So Na Neat down in the basement end snuck out the back door sod
Sot in the car and as soon ae ws. Sot in this bed-fee liel 'jCICHisse over my I tried 2
ignore it but tgoildn'ts Chun 'taxied the oar and started 2 drive and eekviseispitig.
Tlrlek was so drunk that he didn't Catch 44 I told chuck 2 Pull the car over and neve
wea /Ake "New man a tripping". tarippad sten jacket en said "Bete when u keen ma
2 trip and somebody don't get
this tucking 40-Ovet Maar. They P u lled the
car over aad - t said "Riskipans on we out". Tyne/ was like "Wa y man we coal". I said Miteks
I,./ove you and en tell* u something ate% right. Truat*O n- thia .We out let * Tvrfrah
600 that I mil mar,*004 Itettiemethiag mast be wrongso he was like- 1114Sb% fan ifiwe
trinket the car and went bask tO the brines. Thin, Minutes- later the cops was at the
: lia°164 far kie 2 tell her that they had J uif fnad her Iowan registration P1040
sEd that her car was totaled. Tiriekle eked 'a t 19! AS said "I ins you nigger. On our
way home that night we ran in2 chuck and neve who told ne that they had ran tat some
and Wok all of Swett
lat. Our end hie end live of his Watts hen the shit out of
001.Y. I Just laughed and proceeded ban and told tyrisktil an him Inflow.
Later on in tha . week,I flopped by my hone mout crib and Ten in2 his brother tip.
was happy 2 see 440(90 said that he needed 2 talk 2 me. We went in the basement and I .
a het and noticed that he WOM on the P h an. I asked bin who he no an the phone
be said he was telktnitaik;.-MIte was a girl that moat had net at broad and olneY
bus station. She was a shy girinine used 2mike jokes Shen how shy she was because
Y 044t-tied never met, gig or even saw what an looked like, 14,4041 that he. wasat the bus
topand some pretty thick walked up 2 his with 4 Phone: Risher and was la* and
want ,. Y ou
‘41al 2 Him thlteT2
4ISOnmed that slice the friend was pretty Pe a .mis had 2-be.Pretti as welt He /Weed
ale hosenta mia was pretty and ehaL iTTAS.See d Person et tkit. beautiful hear ts So es and
lap went 2 the side end ater ted-.t44494,04 d he told me thetrhe,wantn 2 rob the bakery
was woe,
the street from penn y neker elementary school. At first I was like-flffell
9 , and kip, Jun
laughed and was like . "Looko just came hoes so I know a need some me007
404 cI
cas ing that Joint 4 a minute now and it's *Sem said *Row- we gone rob that
joint without no gun?". He said "Let re take care of thee t and we went and tout mont 2:
tall ode he had 2 call her back enclafter mon hung up the phone kip askeckimnt where
hi4-40Se lin was at that went 2:htClage game, Mont went 10 his closet and got it and
lap went upstairs and camp back wit64 . box cutter and a 00044e nt marker,
Ifrink the box cutter and cut the wtre all the way WO the semi gun and then took
the 'rmanent market and blacked out the words sna that-Uns OR both aide* of the .gun.
the n took a P iece o f paper and wrote "this is 4 stickup" on
He gave me the gun
and said "Pat this in ye waist and when we get in the bakery just stand behlntlee and
when I'look beak at u just show the butt of the gun". T told him okay and went 2 the
bakery. We got in the bakery and it was a old lady at the cash register and kip handed
her the note and she said "Is this treall",and kip turned around and looked at ms and
Inhowed her the butt of the gun and she raised her hands in the air. Lip went around
the cash re-liner and anted it and told MO to get all of the rest of the money, After
we got all of the ionenkip told the Int 2 get in the back and on our way. 2-the heal
.a d14 man taa0 tram the side and lap told him 2 get beck. The ratan hacked to 04 1
Saw a real guft laying an the tabl e#i t.wasAd S automatic and -I told kip 2 grip the gun
that's on the table* He got itantwitnut the lady end the man in the basement and locked
the door,
Kip was like "Come on we gotta get , the fuck on of herair eed we netted and kip
got out of the bakery but when I . ran pees the shelves with all of those soft . ..oatmeal ancr
Waists cookies I bed :2 sao0, I fitted ill of my pockets up . wIth cookies and ran out of
the store behind kip, By the timeLX,leda it 2 where kip was OC it was a trail of cook*
behind me and kip said "took at thtOShito_gone lead the cope right 2 us and Essen
10 the process". I Inabe4. and we alit.back 2 his nth eittePiit the money ti p . I took
of menet andd - west 2 short so t content bock OR my gria4 = -1%bad flaked op so seah sew
when short Created as the work that hesaid ligotta pay teen weight up front, I couldn't
get sad cause nerytime he gave le something I tucked it own gamblia g ,nothekond tricks.
tag, I copped *Mot non and got beckon mr-feet. One der ehi lit I was on eke Wm/
withgees hunting and shootin g , din icith ms bones.assino,terrenceond a few othet“canst
.-...... .....
--...._. .........._
R „Jaz ots
00, the Maga tht best ItOsAmt_PicAbio.PartA0044r_d*,
..44-.0144 big &tab ass *22
two revolver. The big teY,Avet thetM gotta 40 on ,021 PS the !lamer hack b4 u shoot
it. I told gest 2 give ae that gun and he was like *Sheers up?. I feld, his.thst I SOW*
Saks este of something. a get the tan and I watched k s s $0 in the dell on 0-black and
come beck out witka beer and walk through the driveway's...I followed him and when I got
up on hip I pulled that gun outSed,mtackedhimotpaide Mahal. he turned- around and
,tithis ass whooping or Puma
fight me but t shot in t he eft and said *time, take
hat's this about?
i tans ai th,the ant ' NAM He
*hoot a
on know .utn. 1 said *0
and 1 smacked kip upside his bead.
.1114 is hands on arena...04y"
the gun again sod split his tato open. whi le ha wattha/ding his faceit . *Wat is his
pockets and took $300 out of his pocket and told him 2 get the tack out at the driveway.
iteStemtled off.sti went in the other direction,lwent back on the ate and gave gees
Ma gun becks He asked what ha
I told h - Nothsa
i 1 I just had 2,clear up semen-.
with smoshody . s. ken just shopthieloads
Later On that niehttMealsbeadsgeeSsperkeriand deu g htrea**8111int °cake corner talking
shit 2 each other and hustling when these 2,01.4 yeikod up and sOOMSO4;headed.An our
direction. grarYbOdY get they drugs ready so they could get the salefit sitting
, was
on the tie steps on the corner of ay block and one of the chic*, looked ad 4Or me and
tbioantionsd ther. girlfriend 2 malk",00,1 When they got.P.F. Ma me I AatiO44 that it was
end some other chick that
knows L ibbf . sen' en ee d gel led and said °I got
2 Wink with lin * I said "What I do now?". She said "Get SP and let ms talk 2 un4
in the driveway and libby said "Why did in do that?". t said "What
ai and we
PS ObOt?"4She said *Don ' t play dueb tPlOPIO elrae4Y told its that it was a n. 2
I is uorr*Aeg about Oder.. She said * I'm not 'terrible about dutiest*Marrying .
U, You could've vent 2 Jail 4 standing up 4 a crack whore". I immediately gonad
40064 her by her an and looked her in her eyes anC . I said "Is that what it Oink
let me hear it say no ski:alike that
u as? U not no fucking crack whore end mi?".
ma go b4 I dusk u OP, 414
• / lit her go sad **tin al Pocket end gars her the 4400 that -I *just tat* 400
earlier*. Libby took it from ms and asked "What's this 44 * . 1 told her than it
site- the oPosi tkit‘l - took from dude surlier and she Jost looked at se sse:e002 : Swgi are
u'dalag Siva awes 2 said "I don't * soon, Pet out of here lob I .change misled *AO .
take' that akisy back". She lauehed4ad'isid "Shito aia rt.gettiaa this mo.40< baalte . She
lalians-an at Pm p la yfull y end told as Munk you and thin' her and her girlfriend left.
_Whited was watching the whole transaction and asked se "0* z do All!„8„40.4 1 told II*.
" tsbili either OUIt tt Out here on that shit somewhere and I know theasleteje the go,
be bard on the *Peen that's on drugs and I just hers that somebody will 46'4* motbse.
the ielecthing I just di d:41 libby". Rasheed said 'Soma aia,,aow a got me wanting 2 go fpek
a nista up s . I laughed and told 114. 4 -04 1k Po 4 the mall. MO sad issbeetimiek 2 the triode
and played supariprint and as usual lui . bset mast We talkodistOk.homs and reihsad told ai
that ditiario and loon was Coming dean 2 kick it With aanaXS.**Oehed
tm and we was gone gut
flatbed a0. I Wald him alright and then I went home. t Son home and at grandmother had
all of my clothes no the front Parch. I rang t h e doorbell and olsr eatme:2". the 490s and
Said *TOu' omit live hem no !MVP". I *shod why and she said *I was i l OiXosli p '4014 totted
drugs on the floor in ya' rope and the mattress was open and r wont. in it and 40P44 loan
end ebes more drugs.So that's what them doing out there on that corner?". I Was so mad
at erself 4 'Lipping like that. I via:all :high and drunk slipping and I 4got 2 flip the
meta**, betelm. That had b een my stash spot for yeara. t pleaded with her and Just when
I thought I was Amain grandfather mrsteddy spoke up 4 me aid I got one ears chases.
My graadpop was a old school gangster that nod 2 run with my uncle Paul shttler back in
abs day so he took a liking 2 me fast and understood what it fait like 21444mag and
Ole g through what I went through as .a young black male,
- clit grandfather was wor t Oda-Cited and used I be in the streets himself so he used 2 talk
'ratios, much as he could, 4 never save up on me and be seed 2 talk 2 am shout recta
sad how the whits people viewed ignorant blacks in ameriai4 Hi would point out the natural
tier, thatch* majority of blacks in emetics have for whits people which ce*PO4* that 2
trait their oppressor with the rtspectatenity,ttnd courtier that should be afforded 2
r deer
their Mirth brother. )0 .010 fa th e r loved Me seIgp cigarattea and playing,
WWI aiturd47 he would sit as dbwi and teeØ e how 2 pisy checkersing blackjack. We
i l, he educated ee.ZOA e'Iliehgen'inAtiegegi
. 1
titin.e0014 gable for pocket change
eC1 felt witen I saw the movie on il
acilm X and vs diec ui
willikalor him. I told him , hi
olitics and religion. id; 'grandfather said that his father and father b4 hi* alai* taught
never Nara whitamei or any man 4 that purpose. I always risembeflutigm—tilke
/ tried 2 apply the wiedolein thee, conversations but the streets just hadi stronger
an 04. My grand mother iet:eaetey and I gat put on . pcnishment'and couldn't no outside
411.J1 was siehlecause'pem was having it house party.jnen/dn't miss this joint! I
• was going 2 be looking like A terms/ suede* aOkstiart y and I had 2 go * I
• 'read mother *edit* was like no.
* that I bell approach this differently now so I told her that peen teperents was
2 he there and I'll dans bank early. She stised Out said that she emead..2 tett
fiast. In sly head I was like "paean because /eil:k i t-cell tam and letiet . kliew 2
but she wee eilthintveheiif grandmother called 44 4sot 2' toe I went 2 Psi
_ ced all night. Things - west good anal haaklapie early". On my way out,/
saw jesi end he told me that he need e d 2 .hiller'at ise L4414:41itt lit catch his this
ve nt hose. The next day 'I heet ied entice/ hetaCie/iavairtoldheed chick on
d ethasuiC , that X was fucking and she had at °tithed . She was cool.
day 4M-anskid. is 2 hOlOLOWrinov e some fur fitur e in her basement and usually
nothing like thea.hOtehe wee sexy as 40444 went over there and
I sat down on the
goalies tableothaine,oftheth wooden stand up
r beseeeet-and-abe hr000Wee some juice and Shelled on the cut off shorts
sipper at b utt on oven so r -lead 44 her pussy hair and t hat she didn't have
•On. Thee she had in the : tight tenhi tt that only comas dove tint' below her
her ninpleeithre poking through the shirt so I could see that-sheAidet have
ea* But 2 *Wit off she had the trench manicured toe nails! Sheina-lbeltift WOOM
act like she wasn't phasing me but she knew beter. She sat down next 2in and
'4 'helping Me Cattier Atht,.t know heal . would've got all of that stuff moved..
A while since I had s a stroet: man erected 2.helP4OYOUt: and bob me feel like
she spoke she looked dead in MY eyes an&thni . put her feet in my leg*
4 hard! If I- would've sneezed my dick mitht've shattered* She noticed
alright.J-laid "Cluj be honest with . O/". She said I could amt .-P:04d "/ don't
iereepect'ae.leuri'ind I hoye . 0 don't eat ma4hut u got my dick-betas hell".
hger aidu ssid."Tken what are we going 2 do about that",and b4 I could answer.
in and kissed me on the Lin* and put her handsjoiy ' pants and rubbed my dick
4 Then she stood up .and'tookler t-shirt off analthlied her Shorts off and her
if clothes off and shetold me 2 pit down on the couch. Sherstraddled .,ne and
:riding MOW then pushed her tittias in my face and I licked a/lvoier'her nipples
id on heethem. She then moaned "Bite my ninnies". / gently bit on her nipples
said "fferdert", I bit down harder and she started moaning "Oh god-Wm cunning!
•topt".and I held her thick hips and pumped up . 1.u2 hit:tight pussy as bard as I
could until I 4.04a inside of her and she fell 4ward on me breathing bard * I stopped at
geteleiri crib every week after that and / didn't tell nobody about her but kheldl caught
*ageing over there one—time and blackmailed me in Ord er e hin 2 keep quiet.- On friday
veamp,up at my envie mont crib and d iger-to and . leen was Over there. We all got trunk
rio and resheed got in2 a argument O ver sPecee which Lead 2 tishead pulling me
40 tilling. as that we gotta fuck dieerie up OV I, A10 like fuck it I'm with
didn't want 2 jet him in wont crib so he sairtafill gotta go 2 the stem.
Plitt Leckie en his crib and we all went 2 the *tore : On our way thereI stood on one side
ef'dinerto and rat/heed steed On the other side Giblet When raeheed gate meths signal
vaaekarmaurhad, oparic and he fell right on the growl, Reakeed *Mid an-totrif him
sad s$q' rt.d fucking him up. We ittiged ,him and he started crying, Out of all the killer
shit this Cat used 2 ta/k„Ateicould he start crying? Mint cousin Leon was like
11:4:p*I fuck with all of yall.cle4011 give kw a ptheatt* Railhead was like tfeabebut
he intim give me his hat,his "theorised he can't eilm4 around here no =tee Dinette ethataisg
Old left loon there with us * Leon was family so be was cod. When we
beck 2 mint crib
less was like "Lemont,n knew about this/R AM emit was like "Ilaw.thea gingen:Ain't tell
me sethlag. u know when rhoishawn and maimed gat drunk they start plotting skit". Resbeed
404 omli stetkmov whst 2 say OUt of his aQuth so t punched jalkin
ft Ityc k so,0
We finished
getting drunk and t went home, an d
block la get ta2 an 0E0,,
Thic4Int day I 'got with 40m - and th
lead 2 gest and flaunt:—
ing. On the corner and everybod y , lumped in it. People carnet out and broke ft up se
tid . .,goes went 2-ty. grandmother -crib end when 10 cene. autoardt was standing at the
tett* of her steps so I know that he had !allowed us. I asked gees did he have his gun
as hit and he said no so t tried 2 talk us out of this, lardo cocked the heater on his .
gun sad. via like "Why yell had 2 roll on met*. I was liketterdo u tripping man. Put the
* He said "Puck thati"Ond.: itariad *tenting_ at1004 :4.00 nux in a clo nag so
dn't get At gond shit po, ;lost enough on him and X tried. 2 wrestle the gun
ta hands end he hint Attention it and I maw that X couldn't get it Ot,
T4tot up
- in a , tig, sati: 44;,.ioxissa!k o. I caught up with ., gesz and open the night *et his
eight. the next Or we nt.
grandmother crib. and my clothatUatOut on the
it. X nog the doorbell and
014..itka."BhulfeitXncii * * but u pin y * live hero
f l can' this no, etraf:AriCt, block captain end4p:::bust -tiros on this block 4
said utine /410 wbfl Tinit7, She said "You pt,. .
ebliet nut last night 60
Atoka kat shot up and .nis,dot van ond.0 almost got ye 'brother : trilled",, I said "Row
X *Went pit a*. kit/ref She said *Because. when them demo has . an iahOnting at
this 440 fee-V.:on upstairs and atoned a god damn, cap gun end tried 21 ; 0lnout there
you and I had 2 put all Ott **Olt . on hip 2 hold him down so he wouldn't rut
and get killed. U know • deterwill fallow u 2 hell an if treally love him seamy/
U. leave en this' bay can live A.-bettor
SO hurt! I _felt like everybody was lust giving up , on me. Hot are we Enmity and nett*
throwing the towelin an Me? Where was the unconditional love? Puck it thked.
-`1 ***10408:1 1 0. 004 00 00 14 -0 father will be here in a few minutes 2 get and 100 .with CY pop on broad and, belfie/d And then me, d ennY0ht v4and my pop
110 in smith Sill,. with *TARO* The only one that was happy was dotny cause he
home- but I aittl z know nobody down there. I ended tip dropping out of school and
Eal up *Whit and this tigatt got ant 2 -glen Oilln schools in 1943. This was
,anviroMent for me. The only good about it was that lay cousin *angry was there
tocsins straight from the youth *tidy center . and fighting everydaflt man dra g's* .
Oltonnot it looked itko a college campus * Wreathing was cleenTantievorybotY
itortkef 't an on mourn hell and mt team leader was deonia clistuut. At first
Witt:te t t get along bacauss.1 :-wesal t, stout. 2 be bowing down 2 no white mai, It
'h grogram so the stiff tont Punch an yen from neck down. I get 412 a tight
on my, second night there. 1 . 11 never eget thit, I was in the demote and this
flarido named *Other slit op on me and stetted a conversation abbot, if I wanted_
in the program and if I wanted . 2 leers. I told him that I was leaving the first
00000 k*tt I 004.
, ost didn't knew was that these oats got privileges tyorytime they ratted an a Riggs
.asiller it reportin g negative behavior, The more :!Yieu ratted on somebody sass the
NC*. *ate* and privileges that u gn., Ai order 4 u 2 be able 2 go home on a home lass
kW...X. sera ya bull theta'. Once a got that u squid strive 2 became an oxen which gave
topt. privilminsf Watcher tatted on st 2 stiff end they called ma it the office and
I* 01000 it and I 0900 UP 2_ 1/bit I ostd, Big Jay netted ma Was I still thinking
that and r told him I wet and he tried 2 etre me * out but my. counselor Mike Truitt
:iteasthing slick . 2 ma and t went on tilt! The ern thing u know I'm on six side which
.-a they take is when n ere being disciplined by staffrI Putt head in and I swung
aojouttlmr flat. Why did I do that? Big Jay , hit me ; With a he* shot that knocked
inkt of way atakers. t was lariat a couple feet :nay and a sneakers as it the ant
*00 they was in when I was standing in thee, I as mad and got up and tried ; ti ght some
ire titan my son whooped! I sucked it up but .big. JOY Could toil that X was UM A couple
rat by _gad .big lay nallatutia the office tO said nr like ya heartfelt going 2
• second skate cameo I see scathing In a, I'm rut give u a big brother ad he's
Aly lost like u so Yell will -be 4091. Bas t sake me regret this". try big brother
was •040 ch i awns fres •tatteest• he wee semi as heat end he wasn't no rat! he tau ght 00
tilt of kite tricks and how ; gat through the program fast and I soaked it all up, A couple
a ,J1ze-rav.)
-d "Wby 4ide. t. you tall me. that
444th letew I Sot 94140,A42.144' off
e "Ws Plated ; Phille n -ParSeatt/ ict449,
a l Ott witt :eltk it 40 said "I diArt*ebe 4444,4, 14: Sigluirfee=4611:hrthstSe
0414eNhelel 4490 ele and ha just 4411401 2'chack up on you so / impact more out of you
tertIte cousin completed the program so Licusicu can too". / left the offica . happy as.
phil had cane through tme without am eves having 2 ask his 'too. The next month
I- logthat
my kali status And went oa:ap_Tirst home para.
/ Want home on ay first hem. Aisijand it felt foe* go004400en' t *Lion hew 444h
I mithisd ay isa47 and friends. / had been pilling sed.siAlikiet :to teria teoattsed retheed
the whole time '4414 .14- 8140:01114 ea they knew that - I aerooMieSho ma and welcomed ma
0444- with 010 * 14440 dropped my bate Off in the house and walked on the 4044r to catch
nag,* I Po t 44,handa nii . so'tt09914 414100; 00 kis 404ree if I unit had it lor an
Jett 0400 04 4140 014-4 with 4:40019re40 his ear. We *M4 'AttA hOing 2-themilland me
ret 2 ,t4tei 00/44 air*geis game up PO th*.x... ,4011 , tip" and he tad Sant
on. got elit, of4144-04111 Por,44,C9.
w9414 1 00 Mal. ,71.4A4r0 4 :thof-44ort w*/*Ati44
hat** 4*AX Cai We 014710ralaw:Samm. 44_0* O rtarrerlhAranS back on
04(*thehed the girls come through. It werlewed,I.1404 took in slIcArt*kfrath air 40
the energy of being in AT hood again. I told tyrielk that 2 !peed a. platter and he paid
fm'veY Platter and bought 00 11.90Phin2, 2 drink with it. We went on 2 ther4retas on
thermorier and eat down and Inif020r4letteti All of th*tia01-** math; -4 ,2 iwana
'tgga skint* ghat* I been and I had seething 4-Aast / lust laughed and told
, e 40.1yriek said 'Damn 014440 a celebrity, I am tha fiends still know yeletted we
eaketetted. *Whig. / let ty ripk know that r only had lit' six more months in glen
sadF mont. heard me and was like *Diminsit's *bout tins! You been
04.1100100 I'll be
'joint for minute!". X said *I know,and when I come home I gotta pick a School
., , 40,2*. Moat said "Coos 2 kids with mee .refarring to !elfin lather king , high school
at eon, Hones in at.aity.
*M4441,44 were talkin gon, tether walked up and asked why I didn't come down south phillY
Sekh*-4001 01 me ma... I Sled *Ott* •7 pop elate wanted maim ardor him no stator what.
itOtT 4040 1 was /4 baby t was his favorite next to my little brother dainty, t tole tytiiik
ad my
that I would eat .* FP with thou Isfor. MY father fold me Zeit/ 2 the Was 400: m*,;*, got 2-ay grandmother's
house and sat 4444 on the **Ps. MY feast. last looked
04.1044011a and shook his heed . X asked h ilt what that was about and be said "Why you
44410e 4411: * that 709 hit ri ck wit kt. bott ls while be Vaivileep and pulled • Units on
hiles.-Alaugked and said *Pad that was 4 ainet0 ago". BR. 004:11 hrow it was but Ile
Jab finding out aboutit cause ar tioany got drank and told
me". / said "I couldn't 14/
dude get that off like that dadr_T was.hurt_whaa X.OWV:You s. He said *I know but let me
*MI* thsta 10 ta siathar and you st son. I don't want You to th ink that you Sotto fight
AY $ttlotta fight martinet it?". I 'sashed and said "Yeahof got it". My father awn
said "Maw give me a hug be r 484413400* avast ass*.and we both started laughing and I
SOlve bte 4 1144, I want in the house and want 2 sleep.
: 44.1 470.07 whole hen, Jess and sand m y grandfather
2 plat checkers while he
dropped jewels on se. MY grandfather said "I hard you andMt
that god damn tyriek been out
there playing with them gimusyhule. I flower lied 2 int grandfather and I know exactly what
be waitalking about. 134 ; Went .2 cieta mill/toe tyriek and slay mead T.J. that as and
Myriam* cool with was walking down
aw e. from the.09494ald'a on 90b4 avenue sad we
4404 talt with these thirst older Ottri I didn' t want 2 IMP' it and tob was like wi lerst r itOther "BY gin on le. /, Malik, "Let me sea that joint". T.J. gave At 2 me and
without thinking./ turned around saCMCmfaiiit AI the M
' a and equated the trig ger but
404i4g haamonst.lha-guys trops lip:,40-,T*4 like "Sig it ain't even no pellets in this
Mi t. Why the &lob You gin es 4 .104947 inirr onad I dirt** my anger 2-t.j. and tyriek
4414 maw thew4 t4i1444441t At*Rteriflit 0** VIA 10141:off" .1Yriek Sot the Inn and
ghat it the gays and bait Siiiledimial yafterwarde ttril***(40 that look end knew "bet
the look was. Hs wanted 2 keep the sli elk& flan. ikk„s t looked :- at- him and is4reagati ay:
itiouldies aka fuck it. T.J. Pmped . it and was tier "Damp. ropsbawn,yally: St tea take
my guar. Be r could answer tyrtek waii-Iika "iltrant-10/Va,, igiltis gulf a/4-X it or Itaadtather that **body got hurt aid he mid Ntir40401t n' 4044014- therl- don' oat
n 2 aver 4get son. The 2 thing* in thititifid that a Inas eansithi take- 1400- are word/
out of his mouth and iallsts out of hie Woo use both of them wlaelteu bear?". 1 *dila
gy bad 2 my grandfather and I never eget the jowl that he dropped on me.
40 -
Sunday tn.
and X. had 2„It to 69th streetstaff so I could go
Whit* Out school, r went and talked 2 tyrtek,raehaed ,a4 aunt and told thee that I would'
am that when 1 , gat 2 the school, Mt grsedsether draft me to 60th street anti waited
2 leave with my . cenetairegory , that was therewith some girl. I got back 2 gib-glen mi/14-,
and all of my Weiss thus walaaand . Me back with open Arms. The next morning at counselor,
Mike Truitt,toltee that I heel 1 0* a vocation to be in and I had 2 get in a awned
class because I would be going honein a cattalo Months,
X -picked computer aided drafting
40f1 get is2,mf erened clue, rentitr hoete beiktm gel. olk ,in-my drafting class one,
tights Mi00*ditY hOaia SOOrta-anatt that We nt 2 school with me-wes tight so as
anChilkim hit it right off0 also found out that he wee tucking the sans think that
XV** waist with that lived on mole /trim*. I thought he was playing at first and then
he tattoo 2 ask her and if ahliliidte me for mei 2 oal t‘bitit ri b at dInk alf -,he would
/* tier** X asked her and thiradditrethat she tits tucking him but she loved me and it
m that *sit that I-fell . onti. jaeve-with her. ;#04nant ,-thet he was at the haw
WOO X was lariteflee t: a04100--,10040thad him so ,404040,10 „iii 40044 "still love
not in lots with *0* tOOSO:ahhoChOStSed:aonlitliever-hant 2 met
her 2-thia fat
grew whatever 2.thoughtlieleftbattAar and Whim was
the Me who opened ml * SO who she really Va g* do sheutoat 2,mtvigicehelkimf
Bettis taught w hoa 2 us4/V40 ' 4rafti ng . to ele sa d 1 11 044001 the cleee.nite4gm* go was
41t7 4214o tireadrowensof the worst blocks in glen aill040.4: the gu ts on hithlook-nsad
2 ho.04. 11 tOp -an“r1 2.tehe ethiklYetette but beikim,00041 tell thia-I was cool and
Wmt. tham 2 fall back off of *04 A Seels. *nth. Wit by and ; Ma t SY drafting Certificate
and -1 $10004 ar-PratividNyThe haahath0// Sea 044 0 8001* against white hall university
et - thr-Vhaersafa**It linklal; an . h u l es and
went to thisseee. I hstaerer-experionced
soghlet likethitOke evergy. „04Xwe had was emeitegf Ucen stilt bear the sheen* 'lint*
'Ste vvegoi gtory . wheret wage 0 P10064 *fee' - kaow,People *sane kaow• Mhot ve-araiWha. WO -41440
hilVas.Se we tell s emjewsa:the-hells,We
are the hullii4We *re the Bulls.The 000
. _,
We would all.cheat . eur sheer, in unison and encourage our teas, It was
like* heck to the tempts and got r ood , 4, gn to dieter oboe. r worked at the student
en..coMp*O - 00.J.$ -ate good! The student union had these bulls wing, that tasted like
II 014 *int*/ They had the strawberry milkshakes and every dinut l .and.they had the best
turkey and cheese hoagies!
I completed' the program a couple months later and went home. I get sent 2 gereettown
high *heel, Mt hoetsymeat turner from south philly went there. fusee was koreen and
440 and all of,tha-nhicka wee on hies He told me 2 he noor
. mt-this
school cause he didn't
nit 2 ett-sasintodekagaia. Be Cold me that he had Just. 8* suspended b4 I got-there.
:1 Lo14 hie that lima chilling and we went 2 plena. At luechnoe fesef told me t hat WM
be-eembling in the,bethroam in the Cafeteria so I told him 2 lied the way. On the way
4 the *Too gate in the hethraasi ren in2 pee. I didn't even know that she vent 2 this
00001. / hadn't seen her in a oh*Ta and 1.wes glad 2 sear -has4 440.0ho Was /Skin good
and her breath was still smelling like cinnamon! t couldn't believe how beautiful she
Veep Zr. was like since I had left she had just gotten more beautiful and I was P iet finding
*it * 1 had 2 hurry up and get sway from her ea I told YAW to come on. We got 2 the hech..
ream sad they were gambling, 1-00ticed that the guy on the dice was sticking the dice
and kept kitties number and X pee; nobody peeled it bona so Ibet , with hie and ememicyl
* extra sixty dollars. T S av e Yugef treaty dollars and hi,yaited140 acrosayths *treat
Ilareer's varlet and get. * *Seat pretzel so we left ethell and went and got some saw
pseteels. I only lasted a couple moakhS at germentown high:because.I got le2 a fight with
Wy atton the side of the school and got kicked out of the piin g school system,
I had 2 go to K. Spencer Miller which was called Catte just 2 get bank ia2 the public
echo* system, It was on 43rd and westminieter, I had 2 complete the program at this school,
in ardor 2 get back in2 the public s
' chool system. I went end the first day thet,I got
there I was we/king through the hallwayandifeard 0**4947 like "Deeneny nisie , Re to the
echoer. / turned areas?: and it wia, -, etAmnie 2tall. I ten up 2 him and hugged him tight!
I tweet seen 2tall in a while and it
good k sea my hats a gain. Zan and his cousin
olddd had the school in efliwiheholfritell begged a* and said °Ra.doe i t play no genes
with these nigges.4o you and if you tied me u Mew Where I'm at, I Tare u Aiggal-k.
tete 2tall that I loved hie tOp-anthe walked me 2 my Claes* It was teal for shoat twowJeOs
and thee I got in2 it with -a tinge named booker. Bean used 2 be a trouble maker
end since / was the new kid he targeted me. We was in the Cafeteria and he busted in front
of me in line antl-pushathiakut of the wçy sad b4we could
Mott and broke it up. I tsayet,1401*...4
and I slid up on booker when he was going up t hkatapp aredllois like "Vhst's 4P not Pilate
Whet u tryna do?". He turned around sad sew me and wool* sle but I slifPotShiliat
else and he went falling down the steps. I . git 2 the top, of the steps and he get up and
MA up the steps 2wards me but the school hall genitor made um go 2 our alba. After school
me and my homie fatityke from norrls street wetted on hit. He came out and saw us and
him and tyke was CNA no tyke was like ,00 head and meta and get that shit over with".
we 40100 out of breath. Walther
Beaker had a nice fightgame- and-we got it in
o after a Alle0 140.4000 0 'Wm was like eflan.fall
4414 of ms mold Wit out 04
both can vane and this shit ain't going nowhere se that -shit a draw". Booker looked
atilt and was Itke_"Mhtt:n trY04 . 402". * / ain ' t P ut frOata was out of gasandcif he said
ke.wanted 2 contiattfightingj would've had 2 bite that nista or snmethielia“ was like
"It's coot" and WOOtioh 4g0441464 I went home.
The nest day that I wept 2.schoot I saw nail and he !satiates hell At Ma. He said
%soft you ain't tall me - tba00414 . 0tokar was rumblingittel". /laughed and said "Man
it all happened so fast that all I could do wag met* Re said alright and than /at me
We wept down 2.the gym sedigiyaakeme baits:Mknew that we were leaving after gym
I*11i / mew my howls Butt in the gym and we played two on two :until he-ftliOne of the
guys and sterted*fight vhirdi resulted in us rumbling in the gym until we got kicked
Oat * Itill shook hhthealaattoitas that we was leavtakaadve.lef t . 2tall took me -2
it : Mtora and when we went ittha:stare he told the c lerk 2 4PEO 4141 a tick and a blunt.
flakier* gave it 2 him and we left. It was . a atopparotOtthekorner from the store that
WO went 2.and sat down on while :24U Wit the b140t. itm444; the teed in it then totted
it. itall finished rolling it and the passed it 2 me and said "Go ahead and spark that
Bel". I looked at ;tall and was like "I do n ' t know hine.2:eaoltes-A itall started laughing
MIA said "Ral afterstll of the shit that 'toilets' dido ain't never smoke weed b47". I
Said "Navesand zeiii was IdRECIOriiihtp w$11 .V M Fl ied. 2 Meech u man". Be took a tote of
the blunt and said "You pull on it slow and inhale slow like.this" and then pulled on
it again and then pas sed" it 2 me 2 try. t choked the first couple of times and then I
finallykot it and when that "4104 hit me it one 144 I was in another world.
411,of m sudden.everfthing started slowing dawn and I beard the birdkantthea a car
west by and it was in slow motion. I passed the blunt back to italltod then istarted
getting paranoid ,: I looked around and then I was like "f ol ltha t car that jest went by
iii, tryma kill me. Iknow the people that was in it". itail !tasted laughing and was like
iga t iea tripping,Them people don't even know you". I was like *Yes they do man! I beat
they little brother up and we gotta get out of hare b4 they come back man!". flail started
laughing again and was Ilk* 741rtah t come on we out" and he walked me I the trolle y stop
sad gave me a hug And when / want 2 get on the trolley he said "Ra i you better hurry 4P
IA them people come hack" and started laughing. I got on the trolley and made it hot*
and as soon as I get in the house / wont straight 2 sleep! I wtnt 2 Giotto for a Year aod_f,t94Pleted the programs it picked my hernia wont's high
schaahmartin lather king high school 2 go 2 but I had 2 wait until the new meihmttet started b4 I could go. It was eampot,oeop,er of 1990 and ot and tYriek was standing on the
moiler of 77th and (moots discussing our Rest move when this chick named rena walked
up. Sense is a chick that t went 2 . school with but never liked because she is : a flunky.
She used 2 follow behind A chick gamed satiate that want ifichool with ow. Renee was
004,1 mini ma. She didn't have no mind of her own and that wasa turn off 2 me. She (lefts..
Italy wasn't in no pamatoneyond - rasheadah least* buten:rased 2 think that her flunkinass
Mods her Po p ular. So Os walks up tots and says "What"typ ,tyriek7 What's uaRhonshawar,
and I just ignored her but ti riak .Weatid liar* her cause she had a fat ass.. She knew
tyriak wanted 2 fuck her sod p laten off of that. The next ihtwg I knowsthis - flunky had
the serve 2 ask Nan Yell walk me homer. / leaked at her like she was speaking a forielin
language. Tyriek give me the "do this 4 ma y look and 1 s t 'like "Man I'm not walkin g her
home. She better get there the jams way that she got Ural!? Titisk started laughing and
.asked her *Why u 'lead as 2. Wilk- i haler. She said nfleasdea"thes guys over these-stressthe street been following men : floOkad across the street and it was some catkin tar
tanking in her direction but it Mo l t metier 2 me. M4 sat this chick netts OYar *P0*4
La sahoolont of tchool,nothingl She thought she was the shit and I don't know why tyrtM6mAs
even, entertaining this broodOth
the street
kanageteg this tlefihy_ and i1444,,g
es about
them guys -ettreell
the world of one t eggroupte,tyriek was
her h ***
I got the
, . gun on me so we ain't tweromt*
' i-ra
and pet me right on the spot ;Ohne he know I aintt s p rig; 11# kin 40 b y I said
Now gar and he Unshed canoe he knew I naiad. 'So we get a couple blocks , toe this
'hitch crib and they talking. , Riese was sounding like she was gone giva_tyriWienne ass
and then 'a car futp;,l,4cf nista pulled up and called her name and this chick turned 2 us
end-said *Thanks.yall.,14i goes *o . with them. I'll tee yall later" and got in the tor with
them muss and drove off. I 40414n 4 t believe this ,
was ' like "Puck that bitch!"
and I 'responded n r told not V fuck With that Maki ass bitch!". He said "Penh it,"
and we walked through giThert striecc*d headed back hcale.--1Then we got in the middle of
the black it was a oldhesur n amed YeaM fatties in the patiorger Seat of his car and he
was looking real herd. t te, me and ,tyriek 'direation. toile was a oldheed that ifintenibighly
010"Wittetwith ' ht0** 6 * 0041 84.$00 but
tSPWrI P...00i 401 4 0-440i"sel* the VW*
and we ain't have
ee . ' Oahe with this stilt! Anytime it was beef we
jamped L in-it with 'both
nio- AM,04004 y„rieh "what the fuck
4214 nigge keep /nate* at? . ..,Tetia*artl me tad replietrItaangla.Oat„;it's.a problem?"
which put
. %11 414-1400d-rup-mciti-lhoked-ireour-41.400eax.
the dice ghee On point and they seti2ith a onteh. We hat one 84 4 . at a t it toni lititis tha t Tattottax:ust 2 get op: out of here with. So I tat tycjoh 2 coo the hasher end neat count
of three Just spit ; around and dump three it that elm direction to we can get' Off of
this Sock and Ante the lett ,x . these nlggas On thex *.n
.T ± ! ::ie.r,g.O the y 'll- gat out of
our way. Tyriek said he was rob no . 1 wettactiLhOti we 04.480.e the halfway meet on the
fete At this titer." weo,15. 4t4 4*d and tyriek
said *One,teo i thaailfi! and cyst* open around and doped' three shots at ,yells
;Stabbed his gun out of the windshield of the car he was sitting in and cocked ,. its
did that tyriek dnitpid the other three sheen at the crowd an the corner and they
We got-almost 2" the coiner of the neck and yelle started busting back. This
*an had a fucking mac-4I and he 4gat ; tee out of ha ltitat, that.-nig. hit everything
the' block except us Ceuta we 'got the fuck out of theitt As inn op we hit the wort
:04' fell and I thought he got hit but be canglit . e chollf horns it his leg and I had
-;back and carry MAI the itrty,v4r bit them niggles came around the corner Ind low
i. S o
I got him 2 the driven/ and pet hie how a etr where he woe soft and they could
not sachim. We Welted 4 a couple minutes and we didn't hear nothing so I told, tyriek
2.'-rmtio on but he couldn't Walk so I told him I'm gonna go . 2 the ave and see who out there
ait tome back and get him. He said airight and I ten 2- , the aye as fast as r_conict and
rite till' m y eldhted pet wile and .gititz:« rtela - them about whet „
happened and took them 2 whore
I Atte tyrisk at but when we get ,tbare:he wasn't there and imeediately started thinking
thCilerst and
"They got . sick man! rack that we gotta .go _kill them niggast". Pee Wet
said "CaLa down. I tarot
might've got away. Let's go back 2 the ire. and see
if be tame back and if not we coming back through here and we ain't doing no talking!".
',got in the car and drove hack on the aye and there was tyriek standing on the apron.
Ii tyjet out of the car and ran up on hip and hugged him so fucking tight that he was like
t, owe on saawn.let me the fuck gor; I said snap ., I theht4 q was dead!". We said "Yea
tete 2 %etie 2 Opine back so I went 4010 the beaWiray and ;tete hone".
While We were talking t,this' ether 0.0nd that watched me and ;Trial( grow up named H.R.
'pealed up and was like' "Ye. .thitoehawn and tyriek.iet me . talk 2 yell". We came over 2 his
car and he got out Old Steltk*itia tmaNkAtr tiell 2,0r.:441044: Tall glid and Yell
.C. 7 edich Other back oott I respect that but the.tacihet . 44,14-,:waSY.t uat, shunting at is OT
said "That pieta
'On anci I'm taming 2 an rk x-z .2 .540 0400 on the . striustk Of
*barbed that shit! He thenght that hoieee we,;oneng . heitthat r he was Just gone run through
As s , Kt started lau ghing end said
he °142V. th iSt ' tha t : ng nor*" and we was like
"Alright lei cool then" and 04.; -:os.looking" and
*hook, for hands: end got
back .% his car 0.04i .4ta$ 9f.f4:; eekit trn.elt„Oret he thought about that and he was Ilk
dea l t treat sank of thewniggas so We Suet gotta stay, : on , point". 7. agreed and we went 2
our Seats "'Oat hataamon4;44 ;smokedse".10:10a4,0144,14**t called
some _diets °Or * The only
AO* with moot basesent that me and tirIakan up about the fact that
esn ybod y but moat was fucking the girls thaç e4 2 come over. Mont came
thatear chick sat On kit e
t: i"
his bed and ain't give to ass'
WO had 4 tut' weehea dAftu,a4AP-bet.000.411-1.1000LOVar.toSho crib 2 aback up on her
and ts5 in2 104 and the white chick kb.o. i sk4. no.„1404,14.1110
, -Mad kis. She kept liking
where ski was at and401d her that I 4Altattintnnatiellitithin.04 be final', Called
back ccd-aaaka.2 her and asked who was in the crib witb-bar:andivhfut she told him that I was thus he told her 2 ,givit me the Ph an*. t got 011 the phone and ski was like "Mangiest
tuald u 2 do a favor 4 se. I'm with aka right now and I used a 2 lamp the white bitch cutup.
iad 4 vie so she'll stop 04 014041. 12 4 Obit* 140 KO min aamo she tripping!". I said
"What ii INS ti kW" ; He said "I don't know. Putt the bitch or vale raf . Juat-kiap her
off ofthat phone so she'll stop bitting me utit n . t said "Alitghtipt
sot Yoe. He said
"Good looking reattgie .I'll Sot with Vali tome and hu0Otte- ithoes up. I had nor* been
with a whit* woman b4 end 4V44 dough kila was PrOttYthadlilagial bod hand some sober
ell . t kept thinking about va0 . 00:11,3* ma and my grandfather used 2. have aboutwhit*
Plaite and how they paraievatua: Thcaj started thinking *bout the mal***movis I
06w and bow May traated-w*ia the movie. I couldn't understand what this Peakthrich
white girl RIM.* AI the 'mad around uil driak4111 vitk0a440 'faakiatt.1411.!-Meat P*00ed 00 the p!40,Olf, was drinking and aftvjcitkaking the rest of that and
eaokitts- a half of blunt of 4 *I4a 04"44t.
and '
her whirs
"' is *Ws
tO6 sal Just came and set in ay le00
was like ' Are u going 2 tall.*
Mar sit fats so good in my lap and my
got bard . She kit it and reached down and
started rubbing it And whispered in ear and said " O' aline go 4 a rid' al:ken talk?".
1,,naid . *Yeah we can Ole. So we get in her 44r and drove around. The whet-Ocilla we
- was in the car she had one hand on the staring Wheal and one in My pants rubbing my dick.
- SO "I know ski is With 0 000 other bitch and t don't even C are atone * vs horny
:404d 2 gat tucked. Can u take to somewhere and fuck. *** I can cum bite*. I swear
she said that*my dick grew tnottple more inch,* lonforo r told her I got, 0s pot that
ye ci.. go 2 and I had 2 think fast. t . coulda't take RP white thick 2 et grandmother aril
flues she would've tucked around and crucified met I couldn't go 2 my boils *it crib
amOte lat was at tad* *rib. Then it tit altt l told her 2 drill, 2 siman's playground and
prtaiagly she knot alters it was ate I told her 2 drive up on the basketball apart Sr
tbajOilita down in2 the grass and she did.
I told her 2 gat out And come our and get in the peasigar Oast . I put the tuutes0ger
most hock and she came over and/gatja it and took her panties off. Thou she unbiakled,
**tato and 'mud an ay dick while she squat* on my bells and looked up at so with
putty Ass blue eras. I palmed the back of her bud and tucked her mouth andshe
loyad *vary bit of it. She had long blonde hair pulled back int a ponytail and I took
thaw:rug* that she had holding it up out and /at her hair down and she looked like
one of thole porno star*. She start* deep throating my disk and I was like "Damn dial*.
She took my dick out of her *Oa th and started soaking on ItY halls while she look* up
et-um : looking good as shitt-l-to14 har-1 was *boat 2 sum and she put my dick bank i n her
*Oath and squaw* ay balls and swallowed wary bit of it! This chick sachet my dick so
at backlo g went outand I almost halt
tbsa laid bask in the gamest and said "I figured I'd help u out so u can last long
4 400, I got in that car and beat her us! I got to the eep and ripped her shirt open
and grabbed her tits's* and sucked On thin and she atartarnoatin g "Yes baby yo**. I then
start* finger fucking her puitiY at the sou time I lick .* and gently bit on her nipples
Utah drove her crafty and 01 grabbitai . dick and said *Puck set". I pat the head in and
she grabbed my ass and pulled se alias war inside of her and her puss y was so fucking
St that I elbest case again but I to it utichfor. I wad one of her le gs up and ran
up in her de4* - 06thard'aad she started calming and moaning real load *I'm cumstut Poet
*toe lack mai post" and shecame all ever my dick: I then told her 2 turn Around so I
*aid hit from the bioiti't mode her cot in *tweet the Elia* and put her hands on the
/leer of the car so her eon was up H ia . the sir and I grabbed her hair and started feakies
the shit out of her from the hack. : She started moaning "Oh god yeaoriaht.theravluth
dead?, faak ma t". 1 pounded her for a acuP la more Manua and then I pulled out and Olt
her 2 tarn around and I bust all on her face and fell in the gut ubsuited. She grabbed
stank and licked all of the cam that was still on it and than sucked out any more that
aGgitt i ve had left. She reached in the glove compsrukaMilid 'took out those handl wipe*
end cleaned her face and then cleaned ay dick off and told se' atbsek not needed that.
I weans give u ay Rumbas so we
he* up againgokayr. I said "Tub" and we drove back
.. .
-R I ,..‘ ii‘ G W. VP%)
2 the block. WhOe .40,00 tog
maw lit, get Out of
inik Ai ..., ,
the car he Waited,06$0,10461141i.t looking -0,01 14ea
id U flak bort% I
told hie I did and hi said Thinks gied atied . fike 14'
Ili We said "than sitiipihom
* So011: $0 out with mit .thiahl SOSO fill was furitAlte * A
/Aha " Me il,hiseh ' tucking
, ,
AV X woul d Blear Piss 78 POO 2 .00040". She 'lad sk jatthat
X star* having second
thoughts about if I roan*fucksi
„..._ ,._...lOili
, or
, not!
$0i Veda bar give hilt ..$4,009 suit thealha left with her *, ,I, Peat 2 the Ave aunici saw my
614hOad tiny secii1 ties4atel clot Of Other cats out there g'ambling. ;jet A n the game and
PlamoS a M O and while lictrafe Illahliel- I noticed theme two cats walk up aefoile Of them
ted up on each side of the crop gels* My oldhead . psit
just asked me it I needed
n its! that he had on his end since ; dUn' tp lan o. n $0 IS* O f the heed 2d e, I told
La thitl-.I didn't acid it and *OW Sire* as hell that .4idn r oget . it.. I Oaken SOD
Aid ha have his sue on him aid lie ecU1/14abs I t al l 44 that hhImea cera lii-tiutoth fiat
* was se high . thilt:J44- tYYP COr ouud a sehe4 at the Alta and, was 1 !---.4: hew
thee emeitheY c04ilrik , S4-0000 he laid that they Pall#d. out they guns and opened firs
'° :2owd shooting at but
on as. I sad ha040‘. . luid gime Oiled out his gun O.%Cr
it . inuoit t tliou ghtluleplW**1 -at hey. Si*** ftsr$Er , -bittOrlit tryinig 2 get Out of
tha "MY tied I want 2 *Pin ilreind_t .-. 0,0tnor and tel. ** ': :OH:101411 *** *1400 .***4"
that had fre s, up which ratmal tedj, :7SIVe. of the gunmen running up on me tad P' at t ie* his
gun to my fete end as wool is he wee- ibout 2 shootme in the head 41 . oldbe ad Srry oink
Son and jumped in front of 00 bu itte t ;Sad net shot in the 0064 last imath ljteially took
La the ass 41M- and'sared aY- falthia li. lif ill The VieSee tAilia. teelt - off,rireli ni 'sati 1:10
nidOiliehdO4,2 go . t tho . hosPitel end Phil di d some *Mk* 04.0 hilivhetilis'ashed phil
2 tokilitim : 2 the hospital and said "Keno abet gone he %Oldies all fro.. the404 - is the
sir!. my sack sot 2 the hospital and he was cooly 1 this iWrbia And 16t him knee that
• ihikrhir madame 4 anythieg
and thanked' GOD 4
., -ril h ere, I wet hoii.thetrailiht
. , ,, that'
Sips , op the next sot )* wont over aY homis meet crib a nd be had this chick Salk tr issa
over 'Woo. kisee was a chink in the hood that was c ool ,eiekerorthe d Y but also fuc kSd
- 10°00 She 1°04 seehAell weed and ; be r441 I l i ke d i#460# cause she was cool Moslem.
SAO particular dot-meend her was mossitilaFeeed in moot basement and We was sheet
• I had the munshiss . cause we had smoked some mad 444, I sant, her 2 the store 2 a chicken wing platter and whatever she !feted ' I was 44011 r Y ph iehisaft here, and
tali% her 2cOmie right hack,. Sh e said oka y and left. I waited se long 4 her that I ended
oil falling aittOOP,:t got AP and MY that 2 hours had pg000 and I yes Pissed. I went on
the corner and there 004 U tta uith .tha niggas on the Wet litt iae ea the red stellii,like
nothing was ureali4 I said ilrialia .what the feet** yal _probistil.Rov u out hero end I ain't
get my *toff o was Ou PPOsild .2 ,60tt..... She_Ule silent 2,OclitOOAOMOlteire was like *Who happened?". I tumid ; his with blood may sits and said "Mind Ye funkt4Onsofnelifit and
heist quiet and walked off. /rime* uilm like nNY sister wouldn't lot ma Oitalltiviltomar
there" ' I said wIA sister huh?" end walked off and Set 2 .tha *teat y esiOn that my Vistas
hi* veriest at. As S pa its kis saw af face she knew that something . was wrong and stopped
sing her
hair and said "what's wrong bo y ?". I said: "1 Mel u 2 fuck Trials up
km!, Kim said *1 1 s about
ass anyway". BY this
. 2 go on ay. break and I, wanted . riboOpber
---time my stator had stepped her fight gots up and was punishing chicks. Xis want on her
break and was like "Where she et/11 ..1,34w Tries* wallies in the driveway *here moat setb
was at sad we caught op 2 her. It was her and blitegislfriepd. I called her and said "trifle
it's toolaust give my sister a rumbl e". Whem ,irissa 004 PP s tater she tried-2 cop a pie
and I felt bad cease she was neared and I tried 2 coil CS off butwhen I told my sister
it was cool she swung on me and was like "Fuck thetlthiviSch gone fight ldayl e , I told
my tads moot who had cimi out in the driveway 2 sit her but
mount on him ton s Thou
cash* who is like a little 'inter , 2, mliand sahibs who is squad muilookfuSout the y window
and saw my sister fighting iriiiiCsad San out in the erissioiy and ticked tries* up had!
I vie hart cease it didn't have 2"go that far sad as 40911 as I saw tasha rusiint ' t knew
it wasn't Sein e 2 btu* pretty sight. Irises was f4 00.4.0 brie:eedI had 2 OlifeigaIlY
pull my slater off Of her and Oat:sins was still stempinglioirwhila tenths bashed bet head
La the ground. I told slot 2 grab tashs and he ;rabbit her but it was rlate, While trigs&
Cot up I was like *Whit have I done". WY listen And tashi hdie like *filch that hitch thorn
sham and she bettor not cols stoned hers no moat'. I want 2 help irtssa up and she Imo-
ed on wend told me 2 getaway_fam,her tI left her alone and her girlfriend helped her
flar crib.
I didn't ea her 4 a couple Oa 4414 One *l int b4..I *WASIK' /South philly 2 visit my
bather *Wahl stopped by grandatha ttal'Aiat an /TWO* and
as soon as I:.walked
in the door she slipped turadirent.2 steel *Slut 1 slip* it and grabber:1'h* and was
like "MO Mot noes not Why u *Sanaa on sir% She siieheausa I' ain't raise no rapists!
And I can't believe u did that . 2 . thaqairle. X aatd "What? Mom Mom I ain't rape nobody!
Whit girl is u talking about?". ShiciiStd "That girl irises coma over h are v iakch er mother
and aid that Call-haahttOt school and a t4fe4 net on she subways% I was bajwat ma!
Judd "Mom Mom is dIdn't-raiseso rat/id And the only thing tbas hurts about this is that
a:believed it!" anti 'maid out of the bona and want straight 2 pont crib and told him
"0"ht had Jar luMataid. Ra nt aaidc .!00 .11anna tal l he r aaiNet her 2 meet me on the are
and then is 4414 44ik 2 her caust64.atta, tell aa*Mnfl the truth". Meat t ai led her and
the oliess44 meet him. t wai tedJUSW 1f the chinas* store until she welkecE*0 and spoke
teat.,91041 Shot flu me,,sess..out:ofehe stare she tried 2 run but / caught up her and
", I 54410000.4A nothing 2. a s I. Jest wana4alk , 2 ,u. U des't Ot te speak
is don't wiet-2 but just bear Me gat"' She urnesetArlires in front of her chest
luutlatil ran head".
I gaA4 ."Itiaa**Yan X was out of pocket 4 doted that sakiCabit 2 u:but I was high and
atukaaaa is left *er got meat crib SaiS with A herd dick and nobodyl help me ani,
she started 041.144* .l 4004ihnad,1,4thaash I did what / did*in Ye beirt' il4.00s that
000 u s rignI Cnever.l otte-Misalf on no waatelAsP aCiallY h blaCkweeeai I know.
is was and at me but is ktu mf I' don's learn this label that a putting onsetand I reached
.osSiAntheld tier hand and pulled her 2 me and kissed her on her cheek and said "I's sorry
U hahltirt and t.. getta live with what I.did 2 u. I'm sorry and I boa u can .
it In yq hart 2 4gir e.a0"0 Xrisia.4 t arted erring and 'aid"I can't believe u butt
me lilt this over something petty like that and is know how I feel *bat us tesh.I do my
little thins with then nista* but is know that 4 u / e ll leave all of thescvniggas alone.
just can't halter* is 4101 this but I' ll tail la grandmother that I lied . soishe won't
thinkrthat u a rapist though". I held her in my arm, andit-kisaed her on the lips and
401101. really starry 4 Mating is and. I promise u tat 4‘11411 never happen again".
Who said "Why do u always do this 2 me?". I said ."What?". She said "Play with my heart.
the.frantins a bad 2 hate is
apahaw u make me lave u and it's not right * U can't
nworbartial we like ants". tbut
lifted her head up by her chin with my hand and looked her
ia'het„A d said "I apologia 4 what I did 2 u and I wish that I could take it back,
bonny I dot but this is who I a irla tal. MO* I'll change * maYbe I woa l t.but 4 right
now this is rhoushan* I care giant a des p ite what u in att -hare and I don't WO who
don't like it but maybe
just not ri ght 4 un h and than 1-kiseed her on her line and
walkedreff With ment 2 his Crib.
, Wketi'we got 2 mat crib be roiled-AP:a blunt and looked at me and said "W a sucks 4
love ass aigge *Su *war u be gaming them chicks". I started laughing and neptuerttin
woad with him. I went home that night and chilled after se and moat smoked that blunt*
That weekend I went over Saha crib and Chiliad with her and than her girlfriend michalla
Oglii4 and said that she needed take 2 set her brother 4:coSe and get her f rom her
Lather's crib cause he had 0,00 on her. Mat got ski idrive hi* and they told ma 2
041 with them. Michelle was pretty as hell and I couldn't believe that she was faking
with this clown. I kept biaing _hadOt Cra y with his mouth mien we went over tker se we .
could fuck hi* up* I ain't gone lia,/ was hating like 4 mobs fucks thatsbia , ntaga was
faking Richton* and ain't e ven appreciate it* We Sat all of *lobelias's Stuff and put
It La the tat ma-wt. got in smiles drove 2 tasks crib. Ski pd moat went in the basement
and I Stayed upstairs with tasha and micheila. I was mitt/Agrees Oak and slahalls was
tints* she sea laying down on the Other 'couch looking like something 2 -sett She told
es thank you 4 kelpies with her S tu ff SO I told her that it was cool * She noticed me
*arias at her and was like "Whet?". fl aid *I ain't mean 2 stars but 404 you're beautiful.
and I don't anderstend bow u.could alloy someone like that 2 hurt u". She said *It's a
lime story and he tucked
. , up but t ' auld a lying if I told is that didn't love hie. We
Sat history". I sodded my heed and told her that I understood and then we both fell asleep*
Weeks went by and ma and her just got tighter end tighter. itold her my intentions and
she told me she wasn't ready 4 a relationship right now and I gave her horses**.
Weeks wen;
R. aqcktv4
by and tfil ak -tk rian,4* driveway. Tf
l i e ks birthday is
eePtOsbetiStd and minis is eePtiakar:1404:40. We nee0,14010PAttlaith of-eurlbirthdays
on the 23rd. 'Pasha btOthe r m sSnO.Ce lied .ne and tYtiek over his crib and when we lot in
the *Meet yeY. sk4An dne ntwis Oren there with weed and laar and as satin as we ma'
down thesteps they roiled on an and tars is net birthday hits, As shoo is we got finished
fitktitt wi th thee we smoked some Weed &idiot drunk and we all Went 2 tyrieh birthday
Pat t i* When we got there matells:ied tasks was there and tichelle had this glow around
her. She looked so beautiful! d'stee Sing sale on while r was drinking abser..and michelle
demo and took the beer outtif . my hands and pulled me up on my feet 2 dance With her, She
felt so Pad in er st ne t: i 'naked dawn At het and moved her hair from it front of her
pretty e yes and Eteld her how beautiful she was and sheAkAnked me 4 the compliment and
as soon as I was *bent 2 go , inAthe kiss.tashe ;We tedWiakAilocked me and told mtchelle
that the phone was 4 het. X was like %tsa r . Michelle i engned'e
044 . 04 t s he would
lbe rigbt beak. I waited 4 her:kidkai/gtt r sin ning 1104 she neveradtaie.
back but then tasks
Oaths) sant - Pn/ 2ad al 2 OW side and
%a in 01 inueone nt and talk 2-niabelle.ihe
down their crying cause her nut 4044, tailed and tat her
°Mae' I told moat fond looking * went in his basement and
aane l le w ith e napkin wiping * wit her tears. Just
seeing, her crying madean: aSa t - 2 ,40 tac k that night ne Oat:tine :het . I asked her was
she okay en d she said that she :jes.:1..then Poked her " HOY.WIAlaki, letting this boil hart
et *are 2 beautiful of e piiientiu. letting this nosey get out on sna0Ped
on MOW W410 , Iike . "Rhonshawm ell **ii run the streets and sell di-aeon?: What em I
04-$0144- 2 OatT with you now nanaW beTfica ked aP t4 . r Was drunk so I started - 244 y something
Lwould regret but Iljust Weiritke sten right minima l*" and I walked out of mont basement.
• ,X-Mturinikt but I to* it and kept it moving. Mont asked me what happened and I told him
and, ha
she probably still got feelings 4 dude and don't sweat it. I went home that
night and fell Sleep drunk thinkin
, g about
,L Isabelle.
00U-up the maa day and wane 2 : toiler at bas h* Oa; what happened with ma and mato.
elliv-tashe said she would talk flier:and while we was eating on NOM porch-talkingtmialts
HilWeeltet... tasks told her that I-Wei there and eichille told her 2 put me on the phone.
%let* phone and miebells was like °I s e sorry about the way I acted, twards u yesterday
and X's coming over there Alter on so we can talkiis that cool?". / replied "I accept fenialegy but I!e . good. n spoke what was an ye mind yesterday and I'm good s .and then
2, 144004 the phone beck g taste. Tasha started talking 2 her and michelle told her 2 give
the phone beck 2 me and I told tasha I t, * cool and walked off of the porch and went 2 tyriek
crib 2 . 40, what he Was doing. Pleenetyriek talked about it and he gave me some real rap.
lie was like "She was in love with that nigga shawno just can't expect her 2-go cad turkey
on dude. they Was living -leather and duds was hiking her everyday p robabl y and they gat
* kidigethers . I Said wi
tyriek.seid "Yeah n ig ehthe y got a kid *mbar". After
I hearifthat I Prise put eichalle in the beak of m y mind but little did - 1 know was that
she wasn't giving tie that easy. •
1;seded up getting with the chick-tswanna that I took from snatch. I called her and
she Cams over my grandmother era and I snuck her in the basements She was a-virgin and
I. couldn't belleveit but then 'neither boyfriend was soft asp scoech so it Made sense.
It took ea damn near a hear 2 break her in because she kept sq uirming ever y time I tried
it in and tweet-eking my time With her cease she Mika bad eie alitakt I finally
get it in and her pussy was Booed that I bust in like fire strokes! I had 2 hit that
tease I couldn't have her going around the hood lik e I was a premature eisMulstarl
The second time I looked in here eyes while I pat her legs on my shoulder as I stroked
she kep t moaning sithneshiena:love u.I tore U s . I ain't gone trona told her
I terse her too and I was ta ll, in iaWs with hat. Her pussy hair was dirk and curly like
the hair on her aesa l And it smelled like a fresh *P010.0ierShe told me that she wanted
tries me so I turned over on A y. te ak an d she Se ttee a uCeinwst first and thee sped
up and started moaning loudly*
is ins0 her aes and stuck my finger in her ass and she
mimed "flit inonshawn1
cwee.Oui:.-rOinemingt Dea l t stair" and name all over my dick
and Lull award on mychest. I came soon afterwards and as soon as I came tattle of hart
heard - 07 grandfather Came 2.the tee if the 'Attie and ask 'Who downstairs?". 1 Yelled
that I was downstairs and I told
2 be quiet. MY grandfather told me 2 harry up
and I lost the door when I leave. I told 14mA/would and *mend tawanna got dressed and
tk, A.raitON)
When we got outside I told 14,14,404111.bett4
her 2
-"4 - si!* .eY- OPIX ave
ms and kissed her in the .mouth. Abikkissed
back and , then id
the way that u
J es t Nokia me e my fi rs t 01,0 devil, gotta worry ahen tee. maeelstwith aeb04, Glee.
I walked her home and on my we)! beak I 44w Ales standing on the corner with his little
heather Lou who ts like a little brother 2 me also. Lou is a Oita storm and aloe of people
didn't know about his other side anti they slept On him bdt ' lueedi keep him up under
me and I trust his with my Life cause he loyal and he'll never cross me. Lou was a master:
on the street fighter video ganykandimew how (10,811 of the codes, All he did was play
video weirand fuck girls. Whenever be was futhed,u1,me and gees used 2 always give him
een*Ye Lou could gamble his eat tiff -tio . I he/laved at thee 4 • minute and thee I went
Amer south thi llr, that night '2 Set with donny, They was *ivies on 4th and Morris at this
tiler It was a older chick that lived on the block named JAM that dean , had tri ed 2
tick but she shot his down., He told me about her and I 1e14liii0 show her 2 me. I was
sitting OA the steps with deneten/Aer on 4th ! treat and7 hihhi same out o f her crib and
*poke 2 done/ and asked whOT 'via . *** told her that I was his brother so she Cam* across
thit ' stree t and introduced herailriliA;
Nikki had * walk that sboalera :beatlinsured1 She could literally stop cars with her
bodIs fibi told ma about hew, my brother grit a crush on het And told me thetshir-bad somebody
that she wanted ma 2 meet ,Which was her cousin ;arcane, tteldherthet I would meet her.
That weekend her cousin zorr atiOCAPO over and we mat. Ne . entchrrena hit it off and she
was two years older then me t*mat-darins tamoden and wa:beth Were:fist ing so she took
ml number and said she would calkfliOner. S he called me later on that night and we had
good conversation, She was from the
of Wein philly and she was on and off with
some cat sago nail that was from down there, She was a nice chick so I could see a bailer
ton wife her, She flab bent, and a body 2 compliment that beauty. From talking 2 her
I Could see that she didn't relate Words and the was real direct with her approach. That
turned us on about her cause I love's confident woman that ) knows what she wants and martens
definitely knew what she wanted :
We lathed on the Phone for about a 1,40 straight end I was fee l ing her vibe* One morning
she called ma and was like "Why cat stop thinking about art I said "Probably because
I Can't acOp thinking &boat Yoe. She said "I was tbinkidS , about coming over there and
eagles ye dick and eating 74 cum, but I didn't wenn break my fast". I was like "Dania
tightest well tome over now cause a done damn sant broke my Nett". And we both started
laughing , She Said "T like u thon g/rave. I can talk 2 u about anything". I said "Thee*
how its ! supposed 2 booright?e , She end "Iseh t bot I gotta go back Mine 2 this pressed
ass nisga but I'll be bask next week and I'm all yours okay?". I said " just don't take
2:,lons or i l ia break my fast without u",and we both laughed. She hung up and went back
home the next day, Me and nikki spent dot of time arOuncrinh other while torten was
genic and it was no denying our attraction 2 each other and One night we explored it,
NO and her was in my town Untiring the movie "A low down dirty shame" by kaolin ivory
waren and I look back now and I'm like out Of all marries this is the one WirwatOhed and
it fit the mood. Nikki took some weed
and we gawked it. I looked at nikki end I said
"Con / be honest with is shout something and it stay between us?". She said "Yeah", I said
not gone lie nikkij Wantle fuck u so bed and I know that u and anises tight but
I promise u that I won't Say nothing, I know u sot 2 feet this connection with us everytime
we around each other and if We don't get this shit out of our system and move on it's
only gene set stronger". I then took her hand in my head and looked her In her eyes and
said "Nikki I want u so bed„can I kiss O?", She nodded that I could and we kissed and
than eikki stopped me and said "Rhemehawn u betta not tell my cousin, I just had my baby
so we Setts do it elowo Isn't be seine all hard in me". I said "T i mms go as stow as u
need me 2". We got undressed and I laid her on m y bed sncljust stood there /coking at
how sexy she was while I smoked on the blunt. Nikki said "I love how u look at me,11 make
me feel so sexy and my pussy be throbbing". I smiled and put the blunt out and laid on
top of her and kissed her lips,her chinothe sides of her face l nibbled on her earetklesed
her neck and her collarbona;litked ' fi erce her stomnek and blew on all of the places I licked,
I kissed on the insides of her thighs end then licked her pussy lips like they were two
pieces of candy. I put two fingers in her pussy slowly and pulled them out and let her
see her juices on them and then I sucked sit ticked all of her juices off of my fingers
while I looked nikki in the eyes and told her "U taste so good". That drove her crasyl
I then started snaking on her cut while I finger tucked her with two fin gerspead she
hempieg my hand and nikki started meaning "koth Yee00h inY god rhonshawn make me
cne . I keel* lickin g on her sweet testin g Pussy for about thirty minutes and aks* she
over my math and thealiltked it all off. She grabbed my face and tongue kissed
and said "1 west u 2 fuck megnowf w .and laid back on the bed and opened her legs up
SI* she Sacked on her OVA titties..MY (Rik got extra herd! / got on top of her and start..
*4 stroking her real slow narilahegot used 2 my size. Hy focus was completely 012 &aging
bur* I . reeembered that in one of our talks that she had told me that her baby father was
.4 Jealous lover and only was coneered with pleasingh imsel f. She realized bent patient
1 as and that turned her on a nd she started P eePiuS her pussy tip 2 me so I could get,
in it deeper. She got used 2 MY size and mooned "Puck we harder!". I told her to hold
up and get on her heeds and knees. S h e arched her back and complied, I s pit in between
her ee* R***k" and fingered her anus. r thee ' hegan_POCad in g her from the back with Powerful
and nikki gripped her pussy muscles tight around my dick and almost made me built
gat focused and responded b y smacking her OA her Oat ease I asked her ft* it feel
itu as I tucked her hard and 4.614 she moaned "60.0004tCriki Yes!", I paled her hair
end said "Th a t -cora:Y . 00e nine ain't fucking like this is her, She moaned "No-never,
Nattaitihit ig . I said "Then cum on this dick then girl!" and “ucked-her hard and deep
Aeketeuuntil she screamed "Oh my god-rhoeshaen * I'm Gummin g ! Fuck! Shit! I'm qummingl",and
ItiMin c her muscles contract around my dick and she came so hard that-she:fell 4ward On
.40 ! I kept holding on 2 her.hipnand continued fucking her harder and then I cans
s n ide of her and laid on the side of her AA the bed breathing hear?. Nikki reached
i4 atoned rubbin g . my dick and said nt can't believe that u lust flicked Me like
and I started laughing end asked her Now was I sUPPeeed 2 fuck oil * She said "I
was Ilea* ge t it in but I dicta t e expect 4 u 2 make* cum like that * I needed that%
ad .a little more and then fell asleep*
that eight I fucked 0*kteveryday and ended up getting her pregnant with twins!
so sneaky that ehttieveher bebyfether some puss y and blamed the pregnancy on
mikki him pay 4 her eharet nn * I fell intone with hot and me and her baby father
Sat* qp going at it in the PleYnneen d on 4th street* MY *Mae rubin that lives on 4th
atagetbad a * 357 'magnum and we was playing ball at the playground and her babyfather came
in there talking craz y 2 tatted exitin g me this nut shit sh eet what me and nikki be doing
14 wen t 2 draw his gun out and I , ran 2,the bleachers where I had rubin gun at and we
snot it 044 in the playground, he ended up shooting this younboyl in the leg b4 running
404 ,04ppieg An his cot. I shot the ,back window of his ear out as he pulled off. I gave
rata_ hie*, beck and told . my MOW that I gotta .g0 and I irant beck up nY g randmother house
and e! e fit4 RP there until shit cooled off 4mmsouth Phill y o gifter a couple months went
Woo brother &mo t 44 1ind me and told me thate lhad took care of everything and that 1
goad come back down there. I:later found out that donny *neat the brakes off of aikki
brother and told her that she was next If she didn't talk 2'her bebyfathero Everything
worked out and I decided 2 go hermetic there later on b ecause 40001 had started and
•..rehont 2 start MY first d ef cat martin lather king high aching.
I started my first day et Martin luther king high school and inns a completely different saviroment.-Demn near every girl in this school was a beauty queen. I was waking
through the hall and as I Sot 2 my locker / heard somebody say "Oh shit! Crazy ass Rhonw.
'hewn is in the schooll", r:turned around and it was crazy assOsmaJ. He had completed
the program at tette b4 me and got nent .: 2 thin school. lle'. wee wi th a mnsliireiste,named
rasbeed ab who later ended up bein g like a little Sister 2: me. Semaj no up 2 me and hugged
14- 00 tight that he lifted ma off of my feet! He introduced . ge2 rasheedah and walked
me 2 my first period clasp and told me that we would , get 2gither at lunch time. I finished
my first P eriod claSe , and when 11-malked.oult of the clampree pteemethrasheedahsanother mnstio
*tats mimed mmirehiend a onalete itrOther.aaMedtbesbir. was waiting
me. Semal introduced
ev er ybody 2 me and we all ertlhanged-.thel: greetinge . We and eaireb- ha d an instant attraction
2,0e4h other but nei ther,oneiet 14-'00* on it. We all went 2 the cafeteria and as soon
as I walked in the door I *al mrholielnent.and I introduced him 2,semaj. Mont ma, happy
as hell 2 se* we andI - lot giamtf, knOW .'thanont- gartirbtOther * Moat told ma l l be cool
at this athont * Mont was a laid back smooth cat and at this time in my life I was reckless
3p1 cio-DA)
and unp redictable.
. _
While semi and us was talkingI felt someone come up behind me and cow my a yes with
their hands. I thee heard a familiar voice eek %s e u doing in lay school boy/n
. 1 Wined
around only 2 discover that it was 0 babygirl sadrsa ferguson. She looked so beautiful
that I Aget 2 *newer her question, Pinally,I told her thatI had just started this semester
and she asked me A r my school . rostorso she could sus all of the classes that I hhil. I give
it 2 her and after she looked it over she vivo it beck 2 me aa said DU not in none of
my Oases* but Pt be kaopingye e ye on r e I 1000 and she hugged me MAW that
she'll speak with am later. When:leadreawalkod off *mai asked me did I know who that
1 said wfaalt,that was my first
when I We nt 2 PesnYPee kor elementary.
She bus t my lip when we was younger". He said WOminonew E M4A, Onl y asking u woo u might
know the chick eve that shrc . bsr,vith that be ra 0P02". I teWtio that I didn't know eve
and we went 2 tb ecnetators ic Which was tow long I was toing:*0•10 that school. I *hook
07 bsed and aaks040012 whY lieWPO Plating es on the spotAiktithet. Sine amirah grabbed
my arm
said "fill teed 440iO4c'ef , tro able and he's thing flitton 2 maleit't that
'tat WhWahuwar " I looked 414000,*P rottY ties and said uTteh lebe. gene keep me out
of trOgften . Semal laughed and
to,* 24; u in tretble ulend we A ll ,laughed. Lisa
was over and we wont 2 out classes, After anneal I Veite dArgetc 2 00saflend
:be wake':
out with this prottyees-troteskin chick. I asked moat yh oihdea0 and he said "bees
sesaar. I was like "Oh shit! *sea the chick that be sounding like a dude onthe 0440".
and D'UO* l aug h e d and mont said "Tea and as u can see she not a dude, I said "Damn
u gotta let me hit that elLifitin 'make sure. (ease started laughing and said "Lament
vteright.rhonstava is tray ' betTliits him though,ho fenny as Shit!". I'atid "dessa .
that weset a joket4 really want them drawers!". She shook her head and said "Shoham
nlelAraiTt n . We 41 walked hems and rtold moat that
get With him later and went
2 imendmothstsAhelal check up on bow+,
walked into, grandmother's hone. I sew my uncle paulonnt betty t and-oy oasis
derrpl abler sitting' to the living room talking 2 m y grandmother. I hu gged everybody
atittlen-witt in the k itche n with my grandfather. We ended op gambling by,pliyiata few
4,04- bletj eck s / was winning and thenmy cousin , dairy' Oats in the kitchen and saw
114h/inl and told me 2 dial him in. Why did I do the tt i was boating both of them 144
40:171 soul "bet it mil", r yes up and I was fool ing*Me1201us I was beating thee
so I. .,thedrA chance and bet
all end lost, I was SO an d I know 1 should've kep t bettiMS
'hee l-iwee betting but greed lot the best of me and I lost. Darr yl pulled me 2 the side
and said "Never let *nether 140 dictate ye moves. D always Mere at Ye Wu pace and dealt
Over east thae.and then he gave me all of my money back. My tittle paul came in the kitchen
and asked me how I was doing in school and I told him that I had just started my first
der OW he told es that the world doesn't have an y more room 4 domino so he hopes* that
tvaiflielof.the spirt 000.1 told - him that I was end he
that well tee. I then gee*
14040-aunt batty/and cousin darryl a keg and left out end went back down south philly
With donor,
When I Sot back down south phillYfes aeon as 'aikki saw me we started fucking again. She
004 that she told her cousin surtandebont us and I *eked her why she did that. She said
because her mom had told tarrmlea that she was g oin g over my house everyday and sorrel!a
asked her was she fucking os and she said yeah and she loves me. I couldn't believe it
end 1:_meked her what aortas said and she said torrent W sd Lit re and said that she not
*peeking 2 either one of ea. I told nikki that she shouldn't have told her like that and
Othl said I was right but her mom forced the issue. I fait 40 but not bad enough -2 *Odd
fucking aikki. My bedroom door had ade o rknob on it that I could take out so nobody could
Saha of my room once they was in it
I used 2 taki.eikhi hostess in that Sol) She
used 2 be like "Ahonshawn open thedate,an4 I used 2 make her ride my dick until 'I duo
b.4 1 give her the doorknob to she could Alan. My mom u0.4.; 041 me not 2 Ise nikki speed
the night but I was so eddicted2 her p si* t hat I used 2 * neat her in at night and let'
ber . sPeed the ni ghtemd,bida her i n the Cleat when If sPO SPt . up 2 so 2 work and ewe&
nY room, I broke up with nikki:and that was the worst mistake that I ever made. . I would
find out just how crest she was,
MY mom and nikk$ got in2 a argument and my mom was like "My son don't Mee u! He's in
loos with my daugliteren.law3kaeir% Sikkitallad me and *eked me was this true and I
told her that it was true and she wont on tilt! She was like "Assay I told u I love u
and I hurt my cousin saran* 4 u„I"mma kill U!",and hung the phone u p . A couple minutes
R. Jfic OA)
later heard the doorbell ring snit inat '-2 - andiner it andit jiiiiinAkki,.• She was like
*Open the fucking door 34031,174,-k.,Alid
40,t-Pitanait$:00,,,a0 fucking door!".
She was like °Passylimma kill 'Utwind. lanai this bliain blather knife through the mail
*int and triad 2 stab's, in the log 9 ' , I was like "LT crazy -bitch! What the fuck- is u doing?
She sot real calm and put on her any 'voice and said *Ithenehawn I's not gone hurt us/
love u boY•just open the door so r can talk 2 e land when I said no she went right. beck
2 yelling and screaming. When she saw that I wasn't opening the door she lefts -A couple
minutorlater the *bee rent end it was nikki• She was like *Since u don't vent meethen
I'm gone' stand outside like, this until 'somebody come and fuck set n •- She got ay ,attention
Her house was directly strain . , thic street from my, mom crib and I looked out of my
;tilde* and nikki Vas standing in the :doorway with nothinept but a red thonsrad braland
some6 inch wheat timberlands on! I went OA tilt, She was looking good as Etat and t knew
a Slogs- would- hust.har , no hesitation. I ran downstairs and %opened the door while
elho was acroenthezatreet in her doorway and said *Nikki n'sene realty give my pussy away*
ea it'll over and kn out talk 2 me no morst r ond I slammed ,ther 'front door and tacked it.
Nikki tailed my phone again and alan.; answered it she said ' flit it don't open up the
deer and talk 2 earthen Va g enninkirinn • X looked out the window and the mailman was
ng In the house * I said "Iiikt , 11ave u*and i'm gone open the door but /last put the
on the phemeand she did. r tom, the mailman *If u don't set ye letter -carrying
tot ay girlotib,the next thing getting- carried is gone be ye- body! Now get the
-Up out of
dropped the phone And left. A couple minutes litter flak( came
2 itY door and was like "let me in". X said "Nikki u hatter not try nothing!". She said
she Wasn't and X send wharehet c.tnift-Was at and she said that she left it in the house*
rOpOWIS the door and she charged , iti`lith. this big 41111 knife in one hand and a gun in
r-atihir hind eatass:like *Vann kill wi n . She chased me all the way in ay kitchen and
' swinging the knife at me and said titian running pussy!". I said "Pat the hiking
knife down and the ion then!". ' She triad ; stek,ap in the era* with the knife and t*Sat
out or! the way and ran out of the Mention and 'ea 2 run up the steps but she grabbed
lit 'ten pulled me down the stepeandpointed the gun at me and said "Stop fucking moving
liaitahont Ul n and she straddled my waist and said "I fucking- love u boy and u gone take
me do this .2 tan * I knew then that nikki was crazy and I sight net makorit thru this but
I still had it mouth re I had 2 Talk Mr way out of this onsittseid', Nikki -Vain lore
with eind I was lying when I told u that Is in love with thee other girl. I only said
that bOtaikan , r be japlous when I MS u with ye babyfatheri I love u girl and I would never
Ittfrp tt like -thate send I leaned up and kissed her on the tips fad looked her in the eyes
and continued "But I gotta know that u all mines cause I can't take sharing u with no
Othir'iissa n e She started crying and said "Rhonstawn u don't gotta stare me with no thet
mien end / told u that b4p,, love . w and I don't know why -u hurting me like this"-, I grabbed
hinds and put the knife and gun on the steps and told her "I'm *terry babyst lust
craft take the thought of losing un and she nit/ told u Vs- not going prance°, Theft
t - kilied her on the lips and she opened her mouth and let my Vain in and we started
get-tin tn2_* passionate french kiss: While we kistsed,I spun her around on the step, e
her back would be on the steps and I took one hand and teethed in2 the sweatiants that
she had invent started fingering her pussy and rubbing her alit while I kissed her * She
started atoning and I hinged down her neck and took her sweatshirt off and I licked a
trail from her chin to her -tittles * I licked on them hungrily * I took each nipple in my
mouth and slowly licked ant sucked 9 then gently bit on them while I finger tucked hare
X took my fingers out of her pussy and used her juices 2 -rub on her alit * *Thin pussy
sines ain't It?'" *I_asked her sal stuck two fingers in her piney and sinned the* inside
of her while I kissed on her nipples. She o pened' "yes ntwaishawn b it's yours' It's all yours,"
renr, / took my fingers out of her poesy and licked them and then "trinee' kissed her as
situ could taste how good she tested * / then opened immulage- up- on the satire and .44r444
fining the skit out of her! I held OHO lea up and elirdef
,"lwar pussy whilnI looked her
dead in the ayes * When she tried 2 look away I said "looLicael Take this dick girl!
X41 * all Yourssu hear me?". She nodded and I continued 2 1 -13Ni and pound intaer, With
each hard thrust I heard how loud, her . vocals were end thought that my mom would yolk in
eat attest* and catch us but the puny' was . so good that r ilant t even care about setting
caught * I put nikki t s other inaa in 'Unix and almost Wade her knenotrauch'bor shoulders
and I looked her dead is the eyes while I pounded her pussy hard and deep * 34 I knee- it
R. J pi clAs-00
she was moaning "Rhoosheentvcdmetnsl Oh Witted 1104.44g OA toot test Puck mal a , I cootie.
tied 2 fuck the shit out otiter_latti.hfr whOlkatattetartOditheking and went 14111 from
the strong orgasm abs lett had" & fey stroke's later I tete deep inside of her and 10
her le gs down'
Nikki collected herself and main lo ve 0560 much rhonShown and
do anything u
abed sni 2 do 4 e, Jest P i a* don't 1400 me", I said . "I_Ait't going nowhere girlotool
out with all thee...She:got up and kissed me on the lips and said that she had 2, go check
on bar son. She liSt'and I got up 2 10ek the door behind her and noticed that she had
left her gun and te r-keife , 04 . 00 ” stePe. I P icked them up and put t ies in MY room Ma and
nit was fuckin g everyday for eh* a month after that. She basically lived with me and
ap am let her stay over elides e a. 200t os Aikti kept me ifLOY, regal fucking Sr then sh,
Mai wouldn't have 2 worry about iairinning the street. At' Ahis time my little brother
deafly was locked up in *Ar end* facility called the hoe*O2HumoJa. He had been in there
4 A couple wake althea 004 di/ he called t he house sod :SOldctbit, he had get in a fight
with a tot that wal,bi eger. theft, me and tha t the fleY had split his eye o pen, ./7 -Went on
tilt and told mystel l-driveelel the spot deedy was at. Wheift,got there donaPvas standing on the corner and when I100k#C0t,hia eye I just vantod"flill semethinst t asked
where the cat was at and he sekd l thWhe was in the chines, ;tore On the Corner. The guy
*Outrank bitty from diamond 'smrSativ t;0 0 0 in 00 000 4 0 doing Poin ted-140cout and
na was a little big ger then , as-which made me even madder! I hit him with a Overhand right
and th is"PessY balled uP40 - the fetal Posit ion . I Ponehad -hin-in abOTtibs and het:kW
on top of him and punched him until be wont unions*
2e0 . 2 the- greentt
au* * mitwhen
had flail wpm' of himgot
in order 4 me 2 otop-penchinuon his body. I got
oP withilood on my hands and shirt andtold &may 2 go back 2 the placement and jot
say that hiI-didn't see or know nothing
Ms and my morn got in the car and drove off
and wait beta homes
1441were sitting in the house and my mom 004 "Remind
me 2 never get on vat -bad side"
:fle eted laughing. A 'couple minutes later the P hone rang and of mom answered it* She
poke 2 tear vision it and then. heel up the phone end cametold Oa that that was
the Police en,thePhons and thst'thepeented us 2 tont in SO that they could talk 2 us
shout what happened.. I told mY'aimuutt 2 go but she assured ma that everything wascool
se 2 went with hea t I knew it ha s a had move but I didn't want ay mom 2 have 2. 86 by herself so I went, We set there and the cops took my nom in one room and me in another one
and I knew nothing good was toti ng 00 of this. The guy frankeittv had ratted on me and
cold them that me 04 4 MY a Pilled suns out on him and that I pistol Shipped him. My
00e Set charged as In adult and 2 got. P e t in the juvenile O04000 . I was mad and I wasONIAT
abootees this Pussy got my Mei -caught up in this bullshit. I knew -I had 2 maks-a decision at my mom could set 'out,ottitisthit so when they ten* me 2 got finger Printed4 Lam
my mom and I told her thatl was taking the cal. She told me not 2 do -thatAicauseshe
Should've listened 2 me and 't told her that none of that metterstaaw . 04 I hem her off
Of this came. I looked at it like my mom had finally got her life 2gether and I didn't
went 2 be the one -2, mess that up. So when we went 2 our arraignment I told the judge that
I had tricked my mom in2 -driving me 2 the house of umoja by telling her that doany heeded
Die other clothes. The Judie said "And why did u do that?". I said "Because I knew that
if I told my mom that I was going there 2 fight somebody that she would've never took
The judge *shed my mwall-that was true end she started crying and looked at me and
I loathed the words "Please sty Yes" 2 her and she told the judge yes. The judge said
"/ don't tiredly de this but I'm going 2 allow u ROR bail and pet you on a supervised
watch until the preliminary hearing and see where this goes from there.and as for u Yedtg
men I's winding you to the youth study center until the outcome of this *Seas that understood?". I said yes and my Ohm was releasedand I set sent fl the youth study center again.
That weekend my mom cams 2 halt ms and as soon an she walked in2 the visiting ram and
a Ins she started er ring and hugged ms tight and said "1 love u so fuddle mnOhl t wish
I would've listened 2 u*. .t said "Mom it's not ye fault Odra cool so stop crying".
lie said "I just ides u so mucht"../ hugged her and u too". We talked and
I told her that Vs taking the case and I to g oing 2 lit the judge knew that she didn't
know anything about it and she didn't have nothing 2 do with it. She cried some more and
I will ed the tear' frOtherAMON,04 01440_"Mciii.1 know is don't
,. weet me 2 de this but
u been through enough 1.4ffki 19#,41:1 11100AffirtcOrtee gitt ya mistakes end I &bet
want 2 840 is in no jail tell. Ibe era going 2 Send me lbajuvenileinallitY *Mini be
out in no time. ti ll be cool morn". She said "O are so, strong . baby end no matter what I'm
going 2 be here 4 you." ' I said "I know" and we enjo yed the meet of our visit anti' she
left and I got taken back
On ay way back 2-01, unit,a staff member that worked onzabsOth floor that was 4001 with
me aimed "walk" saw me and got me moved 2 the 5th floor 00,0 him.bolosysktant,hamiltou.
As soon as I set up there I saw my homin Michael "Twin" Quinn from diamond street and
my bode Ronshareed' %raze" Noreen from the Lo-Life crew, We all ended up getting sent
2 Olerinde, acedamin-the stets of Iowa. The YestAni 1995 winter. I got 2 alai/ate sande*
and twin and kraze told me thet -ef. hoele mont ee ratar d'Andf
i lmend es s thine too * we
all linked up leether end the staffthere hated our enitit=hocense all of the juveniles
was following behind us. we started converting all of the -juveniles ter i01*and teaching
thee het 2, Pre f. I wae.tte rn4 aix Tenths bg they let aeiretle visit. I mom
and told her thattwaa:allowed 2 set a visit and b y thia,itifeearlittle brother bad been
home and I told her that 't wanted her 2 bri ng hie With OS:. She told me that Bonny *id bettJ
selling drugs and that he had four, ea rs on the blook iren t4.ket he would holefing:ler
their airplane, andialerfthing else. I coultif thelitte-thst,m y *rather had
got to the drug gate. I Peter wanted that for hie. no 04"i84'49 ,4or rale "Watt to *Ohba
and he was the bettor half of me * t i' keew I would have 2 toPeci ,111
whiajks :0"! / see
They caught a plane on a sate:day and came 2 see me ' As soon. es ,T saw my brother I knew
he bad grown up. My mom had her hair end nails done and she told me that donnfieltifot-it. I pulled tom. 2 the side and told MY mom that I needed 241.0 with him end she walked
off and want and _ get eletething 2 eat and drink 4 us. Donfny. smiled and said "I already
paat iota u about 2 say*, I said wOlany t u my little brother Me n end u know I 444e t won
400 street shit 4 u. I did it so that u wouldn't have 2, U broke ay heart with this man
bec ause u smarter then this". Ma n i sat down and he said "Shawn I know u ain't want
4 II but when u was home u kept me in the latest shit and put, few hundred in my Pr-kik*
Then u left and mom mom wasn't gonna do that shit 4 me 'el di ll what u Mi ght me-survive!
1004 know that this ain't what n vent me doles bet I also knew that u would want me
2 Is 4 man and make sure mammy Coo/ and We feed in the hones and the hills is 101000
3:did what I had 2 do not what T Wilted -2 d el the first time I looked in my brother!
' *Di *ad I saw that he wasn't e kid an ymore and I -had 2 respect that * We bed grown trot
the Mei* brother who used . . 2 wear my Olothesook me 4 money,and live off of ay Omit
Oa was mkt/kg his own name and whether I liked it or not ** was a men and every num dour"
tee 2 be respected.
I told him 2 be caret/ and if he needs my advise for 'ge eing
bere..he asked me
start moat* and
whet I rand get
be_asitalri ght4 My mtvs acme o v er and joined us and " she looked so beautiful with her heir
done. She looked at me and tenni and said *1 rater thought I would see the day that I
would have My kids back and I s m sorry that t ever left yell, I hope yell can 4gii* me
4 whet X tit 2 yallm and started crying. I walked over 2 her chair and I 84111.flike I /live
u a thousand time. If was a. kit yourself when a had us ea u made some mistek00. I'll never
throw ye past in ya face. I lot " .e'41- 14 and u my heart mom. freapect the fast that is
was woman enough 2 come back and get the piece* of a that u left behind. 0 are my mother
and I wouldn't trade ya little mei ass in felt the worlCu haler met",and She stir*
laughing sad hugged me. We had a good visit and when it was time 2 leave MY now started
;crying again and tunny had 2 calm her down and the y left * I told them that I would cell
them lmorrow. I called as eneh as t could and kept her strong. Donny serape a new pit'
of sneakers every month and WO care of mom. My brother had grown up and I was Prone
of him,
A few weeks ;fur my vi sitflen.t wi n ,and kraus get "4112 *fight with the staff at clariada,
assaults. They g r io ted 44 up and had ne cleani ng f leec e with
tootbrushes and sleeping on the floor. Wp s homie mates get mad at what they isit
2 as and eassulSed-a staff and lost hie 'hona palm. They split us all up and didn't allow
4. 2 talk 2 each other or sit with each other. We had 2 work herd for fair months b4 we
domed s home pass and gat 2 g o home. I had a court date that I had 2 go 2 and m y counselor
which lead 2 three staff
gave me a home pass 4 three days. Right b4 I went on my home pass I called my mom and she
answered and told me that somebody wanted 2 speak 2 me and the next thing I knew was that
this man with a deep voice got on the phone and said that he was my father, I told him
2 put my mom back on the phone and he did. I asked my mom what was going on and she said
"Seany,this is ye' real father. I didn't tell you about this before because I didn't plan
on ever seeing him again but I ran into him today and he wants to meet you". I said "Mom,how
could you hold that type of info from me?". She started crying and said "Baby,I didn't
know how to tell you". I couldn't believe this shit and I didn't even want 2 talk about
it no more so I changed the subject and said "Mom,I was just calling to let you know that
I got a home pass and I need yall to be at the airport to get me". She said "Ya' uncle
and ye l father will be there". I said "Alright" and hung up the phone. I went 2 My room
and I didn't know how 2 feel. I started wondering how Donny would feel when he found out.
'Mould this change our bond? I felt like all of this time I had been borrowing somebody
elses fathet. But overall I was curions I meet the Man that they called Jordaehe Mike who
was my father. I wanted - 2 see where I-came from and what traits I had inherited from him.
Everybody who knew him said that he was a cold blooded gangster and didn't care about
We met at the Philadelphia Airlines Airport as soon as I got off of the airplane. It
was him and my uncle Kevin. I shook his hand with afirm grip and looked him dead in the
eyes. Be smiled and said "Yeah,this one mines!",and pulled me in and hugged me. We walked
and talked and I asked him "Why now? Why come into my life and change everything?". N.
said "Sonafirst of all,I never even knew that you were my son. When 1 went to jail for
in attempted murder when yell was living in the projects,ya' mother just up and left and
ain't leave me no forwarding address or nothing and I can't blame her cause at that time
in My life I was a heartleie bastard that didn't give a fuck about nothing but my money,so
I don't hold that against her. I did alot of things in my life that I wish that I could
change but I don't regret my kidm. As soon as I met you I felt ya' energy and I knew that
you was spacial. I can't get back the years that I lost but I want to get a chance to form
s bond with you if that's alright with you".
I thought about what he had just asked me and figured what could it hurt,so I turned
2 him and smiled and said "So what's my family like?". He laughed and said "Son,you Come
from a long line of gangsters! Ye' mom told me about you being in them foster homes and
what you went through and she told me how you be out here in these streets. Well,I want
you to knew that all of that wilding out and gangster shit that you doing in them streets
is in ye blood! My brother,ye' uncle Lefty l was a cold mutha fucka out here in these streets
until he got killed and la' aunt Watusi,my sisteroin't no joke! Son,you was born into
this shit and we don't play no fucking games when it comes Co putting our murder game down!
You got some other brothers but_it's.only two that I'm claiming cause the rest of em
couldn't be mines cause they soft as hell and they suspect! As soon as I met you I knew
you was mines cause I tilt that raw energy! You got a younger Orother nose Michael Small
but they call him Bailer. And you got a older brother named Tyrome Cheeseborougb 'and
call him Cheese. The jury is still out on them other =Oa fuckas! Oh yeah,before I forget,'
gotta wait till' ya' brother Mike calls from yirginia. He's down there wilding out on them
crackers. You'll love Mike and he got alot of heart!". While we were talking his pager
went off and we went and found a phone so he could call them beck.
After be called whoever had paged him,he came back from the payphone and said "I got
somebody that I want you 2 meet later on but for now I want to take you to my spot so we
CAA talk". I gave my uncle Kevin my bags and a hug and told him I'll get with him later
and then got in the car with Jordache. We got 2 his spot and he introduced me 2 Darlene
who Was his wife at the time. He and her got real tight too. Darlene was a good woman and
I liked her vibe. She was down 2 earth. We talked and then the house phone rang and Jordache
accepted the call and it was my little brother Mike. I spoke 2 him And I could tell that
we were related and this was my brother. Mike's energy could be felt through the phone.
We talked for the whole call and I told him if he needed something 2 get at me and he said
alright and that he couldn't wait 2 meat me. We hung up and I asked where Cheese was and
Jordache told me 2 get in the car and we went and I met my older brother cheese. Cheese
is a good dude and he got a beautiful heart. Since day one he has shown me love. I went
back home that night and I went 2 court the next day. The judge suspended my sentence and
gave me a new court date. When I walked out of the courtroom,Jordache walked up 2 me and
said "That other person I want you to meet is waiting on ya' call",and we went 2 a pay
Phone and called * ,1,4440
41 0
04,040,0404 -a44_4,494.14,19erf_410er than 010 . 41d 4 11 14°4
44 hell. I talked With 40414-en-the Ihne0,414_040'teldine_thet she heard some 'good
things about me and that she 4004 tell se. I asked."44:do 4 figure that?". And she said
"Because them young g irls ain't putting th a t 'mg on ye Young ass right. I got u though!".
I 4ateso when are u going 2 get - vith - ve so / can see if youcan back that mouth up?".
She said "call me 2nite at 9 o'clock so I can give u ay Oddries.nowtput mike on the phone
so I can tell hie-2 . gire u my phone numbers. I told her alright and I gave jordache the
phone. He started looking at me and smiling and then he told tynelehs that he'll giver
ma the number and hung up. 4ordoche turned 2 me and smiled and gm me tyneishes phone
labor and said "Don't hurt yourself!" and leaned. I said "She's going 2 be telling u
* different story dos after I see her and remember I told n that". He replied "We'll
see" and took me home.
At 9115 at ni ght 10 homie- gess.teme through my crib and I told him ebeet*reeieee 444
he Raked if she had girlfriend. t told him I don't know but we atilled . onOphi had a
*040* "Mod nikkl ' 04 - 1- teak_See t wit h me 2 meet he r ., se 4at. 2 the crib aetl.nlikt and
Weisha was looking goad! . Nikki:vas . * chocolate chick with ,4 fat Ass and a ale titties.
_ was a bout 5 ' 11 . T r a e t e ha wiel"2ibrownektnywith seme.104ble P l s. As soon as we wanted
-tynetShe said "Which one of YOIYWrhoishevetand Tynetsha smiled : and
said "come with me" and I 414#41;j0;2 the bath !meet Whetnevicet in there she closed
the door and said "Ta ke f" nk*OR-Rgi±ad get f eed , 2 take 4 ehoier"Ohipt:undressed and
was standing in my boxers and she sai d " come re and 4 44 se 2 the'sholOrwl4kwashed
O0 : 4P %an d I 4a0hed ' har e n Cthe n .4e went bea k 04 t h e bedteees She Put 41 41,Wpiees tot*
sa l t- a4d .No t in the bed; 1 ,110tin the)* in my boners and watched tr until like 11PR
MACS: took the remote from im-flend said "I'm sleepy and % - weat 2 go 2 bed". T'eflid Alright
and turnedthe tr off. Tynsiiha then turned 2 me and laid hothead on my chest white she
robbed my dicknandieeid "Rhonshawn is u horny?". I said *What kind of question is that?".
She, hit 04 and-said "Don't Se t smart!". / laughed and said "Why u got this . ceteutt On?".
She said Rosae I'm not making it salt 4-Vn.
said "en u gone weae-that'all night?". She said "Teaks:id if u Wein me 2 talcs it off
u onkOtAinit off of me". / triad 2 rip it but this fabric was tough so I was 14e fuck
aslee p . When I non up in on morning tyneishe was jerking my dick and looking
at aswith lust in her e yes. Her hand on my dick felt good. She said "U ready 2'ftick 00
Patri settell Yea"' and sh esaid "Then come and get it!"-ead'then turned over and
laid onher
• I was so horny And hard that I g ot 4P and ripped that ceteutt off
Other in record time! I go t on to p of her and put both O f her legs on my shoulders and
!poi* the shit out of hew! She was moaning but I felt like she wasn't moaning enough
and she ain't respect my stroke game so I told her 2 got in dPOSYe ty le and I rubbed MY
dick upand down her pussy and teased her. Then I flack the bead in and pulled it out
real quick. I did that 040 three timesuntil s he said "SOPOlheen 1114P-teeniet ee" in
ilinniveen voice, Then Oenmed it all the way in her and grabbed her by her hies and
pounded her pussy. She was moaning "I hate youl I hate you! Oh my Sod-YR - diakfeele so
She tried 2 run but I pulled her back one said "Take this dick! Remember that
sett u was talking! Take t h is dick like a big Orli". She moaned "I am deddddyl My pussy
feels so good. I can't believe Y4 Mel ass is fucki ng an like this!". While I was to
add stroke her cousin nikki walked in the room and I stopped and laid on top of tynetehe
so. 6uks couldn't see that we was fucking. Nikki said "1 gotta iron these clothes real
9941,1,4e9 Tall don't gotta atop tucking cause 1 4a in here. I weans see yell WNW. So
I OA up and Nikki said "Hold up" and tin buttoned her shorts and started finger tucking
herself whileshe looked in my eyes and then she told Ms "hens/lawn while u tuck tynoinka
I went ii 2 look in my eyes en r can feel what she fe lin e. I didn't respond and just
MUM tYnsishe by the waist end started fucking her reel slow while I looked in nikki's
eye, end she was bitin g her benne lip and then I p icked up s peed and started pounding
tyAsishe and she started moaning real loud "Rhonshawn! Rhoishewal Puck me boy! yes! oh
Sedt Don't etc& I'm cunning! Ile c umm ine m and I looked in tikki's eyes while I tucked
the ehit out of Oneteha . end that shit was mind blowing witching nikki playing with her
pesey.bitiog her lip.and eqescing , on her own tattoo. I kept stroking tynetehe until i
come and nikki came right after me and blew me a kiss. Nikki said "Now u can tell gees
nhecfljnet had a menaj" and I laughed.
He and tyastaha got in the shower end washed up and nikki conked all of us breakfast.
After that me and,gletleftlatd . - 19.,YO.tint4.4a,MI_AnShit :AMd told her tAlltiAc(4:1C
found aut that t I#M4M hm was t raSY. m Ocht lIT Iktnif daYri il ater, she celled me and told an .
that she needed 2 .-hee me. , / told her that I'll get viiiheijeter but never "got around
2 getting with hor. She paged me and put "go ,a hell" and all this crazy shit in it.. I
called her beck end we started arguing
she told me that ihM!
nent. I told her
. ,
that she wasn't pregnant by me and She said that she was. I, was like "How the fuck u gone
'maw i f u Preg nant that feat and we just: /nuked 2,00,s,eser. She said "canoe I know my
body"". I said "Pht„ .nikki on the phone". Nikki lot On the phone and I was likt"Nikki
I know that!s ys . ' 404tin hut; never; dia./ respected iv or her4idi need u 2, keen it real
with me". Nikki 100 ,11irigh‘wha tl * Ka n : t said "lieelej tm14 mm that she Pregnant
and I need 2 kno.i*she is or Ineil:' Nikki said " S heneheWii if that girl PregUant.then
I'm pregnant too. Stop le t tiu lf,ket ge t-i m Ya head boy". .l said %Sad loOking-,ntle4I'll
: A hung. 4,* TfneiahetRI4i4 . P.SXMC ms and 4411124 me
Sitar at u Later". She said . '
hht I i gnored her and f inal
"OPed eull left 'rs m '-e- 'told' it
lucked that woutak'and tura'',
lhar tad ha 4904 4 - 0tM4 ;;I:71
her and she was like -"et hie., phone" and I told' 16* 2 i till tt lit71111III'SiUp
the 000 And , ', .: .p hana. .
00 I walked out of
; went back down South. ,4fitixed with my Litt
het donn y: aid j bY the time .
I So, t •Oa' there he"hst ihiWOht
tOM fith'end . lasker and
Y.Cfer there: tees& t i _
her girlfriend nateahe whaiwet: puffto t itan and wan t by the neat of squirt when she danced
at 4aLiAle a dat oalid his gitigrithdiennite* He int roil tdoikei 2' all of ;:ttigil, 40 r sPoke2: thee but I was 09' tired thst..VU0S44Pataire and went C04,0 A. • Whirr'. 1-wekelli) the nekt
day it was two something in the . afternoon. I got in the giow'r and when I get out dourly
was in . 4 room and said "What, ta lthfik7about the chicks ritatovor last night?". I said
fitthir. S10 , :osishen. twin y . 04/44, etc" fronting! ; eils,*%Okin g-seims The titan
ielvir-ii . ei jchig0". / said "Which - -904/!'. He said "The one that was s itt ing an the couch
bfae". I'm not going , 2 f r nItviit tle bre had Some bad ass chicks in the crib but I ain't
Weans blow his head .up Yeti .- T ti44 hie "I see u Oyes. " ':bortilta:me.huht". . He Seid "I,remem=
bar when It used 2 tea, me- that I' couldn't cone home if I ain't come km. With Ue sbitclies. se
; 70 ttl:;!
I hed abehow u that:I stapled my game up". I smiled and *Sid "S gi ;ghat we doing 2daY?n
Tie said "Them chicks that was over here last night wenn* come back Over and the chick tiffany
tikia 4, too". I said "Which one wea.,tiffan y?". Her said "The thick brownskin chick". Tiffany
was right. She IONsAgrettY. thinkland: had a fat ass! I said "Alrightslet'em know that it's
on but don't tell tiffan y * that I know that she likes me". He was like "cOel.I'llms call'em
right now". I told him I was going 2 the barber shop and VII get with him 2nfte at like
10 o'clock so have, the girls over the crib by the time I get there and I left.
I ran some errand* and then my mom wanted me 2 go shopping with her 4 some groceries and
nthir things because she was cooking fried chicken 4 us Zeit.. After that I drain* her off
at the crib and kept it moving 2 the other crib my mom had on 56th and pemberton itt southwest
ihillY I, I ended u p meetin g this an y ass thick named candy from 49th and baltimore too. After
I . get her number I went and checked on my mom crib on pemberton street and once I Saw that
everything was u0e1 I was on DIY way out of the door and ran in2 a younger guy name4. tyriek
that was real cool with me when we was locked up that I hadn't seen ina while. We caught
up tin -old times and then I told him I'll be coming back through here soon and I left and
heeded back 2 south phtlly.
As seen as I walked in the house tiffany came right at me and said "Now u weans coee home
after fuckin g Ya other bitches.huh?". I said "What other bitches?". She said "/ -don't •Iumoi#
tell me?". I said NI crazy!" and walked 2 the kitchen and told my brother &ma y - that / seeded
2 speak 2 hie. A couple minutes later donny came in the kitchen and said "When u leaked out
of the room Tiffany said that she'll fuck u now and save some 4 later", I said "Yeah'', He
said "I'm tolling u she with it". I asked him who's bag was that by her leg and he told me
that it was hors and a plan hit me. I told donny 2 take her bag and put it in my room but
wait until I,get in there first", He said "What u mean? II not staring down here with ust".
I said "NewcI'm about 2 act like I'm goin g 2 sleep . so wait . a . couple minutes till' t i m in
ep room then snatch her bag and throw it in mr, room and close my door. Don't lock ittJust
close it and I got it from there". He said "alright" and left and want back in the room with
thee. I walked out of the kitchen and headed up the steps and tiffany was like "Where u Seine
I know u not leaving us". I said "I'm going 2 bed",and walked in2 my roes and got ass naked
and Sea& all of the lights out and got in the bed under the covers.
AlOw minutes later de -ni- initted ' in my iikareid was
I got her bag,whezieu:went
400“. ; said 4/Throw 444 tile:OW*07.10.11.*114.9s° 044,44k4t4 And,rae'oet and Closed
the door. I was 4742 in 11, bid egkedArithaXghts on 40,4Ann near a .hour and I thought
she Set goin g Zoete and Jile t'whew t4O4 iehe at, 2 ;ell 4S2S0P shkiluebed ey door oPenrend
ssid" fault . 4 wahine wmphat donny three rit bat in here _Plating around sod I need
2 get its . I said *Oh that's what he threw in heti.les over by the window". She came in
tipat it and was looking 4' it and-I:Sot , out of the bed and walked up on her The light from
the window gave us enough light240e. each Other and When USiaed up on her she saw that
naked and looked down at my dick. When I tatted she **Aries at it I took her bend
end put it on my di4kikad *eked her "how lotg. are we going 2 de this?". And she said "Do
Whoa". I said "Amt rak* WO don't want get in this bed and kW. She was abont . 1 say some
thing but I just moved to and k ieeti her passionately with all tongue while she stroked end
reb bid sway dick and balls. I beaked 0 off of her and said "take them clothes off and lay
on the bed".
She started taking her clothet-Offleeh and ; told her "Slow down some * I irenne wet* u
takeem of f4 beamtlfurand'a sexy' a eft. 1 wa n e/ enjoy watching u undress". She
told squirt thetie,ene different" and
slowly for se. After she got undressed
shinisid down on the bed and I Lad on top of her and Just looked in her eyes and said
"U are so beautiful". She said "Thank you" and I kissed het2Ore h eadebot h of her eyelide.heR
thesks.ber chiniher asokAtt-oollarbonesths top of her breast.thMOidss of her hreast.ter
tadararti.then I kissed and licked alt the wa y up her Like* an d ' Il ike d -422. Of he r fingets.! thin did the sale 2 her right arm,! kissed and 1464 all down her.otemiahlthe
sides Of her stomith.the insides *Cher thight.the back of her knees.the back of her thighs
and thilback of her ankles. Thin I stoked and licked on the bottom of her feet andnibbled
on the ball of her
she gripped the sheets and moaned 'Pm cumming.i'm cummingl".
I ignored her moans and'eterted-sucking on her toes real slow.- I mare attention 2 each
toe individually and ten my teeth across each toe nail sad she started arching her bank
and breathing heavy Win. I told her 2 turn over and she said 'Oh m y sod .whet'are u doing
2 mete . t said 'I"m enjoying you". She turned over OR her stomach. I started massaging.
ber'SeSili and rupning . my-fingers through her hair and got her 2 re/ex 4 me. then I started
htiON behind her ears 404 nibblin on her earlobes.then I kissed down the sides of her
thejnidee'of her neck and whispered in her ear 'You taste so 90004thenend' hissed around her hairline and blew on *very spot that I licked andkissed.'
t‘tiniO44 dean 2 her shoulders and nibbled on her shoulder bladesgently while / proceeded kiss all on her upper back lthen I slowly kissed m y iis d ove 2 her tower back and
the:eideSOf her back.I kissed down . 2 her lo wer heck and when I Sot t where her butt sprouted out I - licked the crease Of her me and she arched her bask and pushed her ass up 2
mipI othon ktased ial b044ten d sacked all on her butt 44esha ! before I licked and Sucked
down the back of berrhi ghs'And thee tithed and sucked on the sides of her thighs and
ihimoanod: fluck bot t* * ; then kissed d own her leg and soaked on the beak of her kates.then
Ijitiked and kissed the S i de* Of her kesee t end Preeladed'S kiss down the beck of her *Ares
aettlikshiss.and awl y bite on the sides of her calves b4 I kissed down 2-ber anklet
and lick and passionately /back 0 0 the back of her ankle*, T thee tend, raked lay Avik
teeth against the heel of both Of her feet b4 I sucked on all tee of her toes iambi and
she flatted breath ing Wiwi gain,
By the time I turned her Sta unt on her heck it was a puddle in my sheets. I climbed
on top of her and looked in her eyes first and then P ut *y. dick inside of her and she
was so wet that I slid r ight in and it felt like 111 silk glove was grinnin g my 41414. /
elmeateeds so t stopped stroking her and started kissing Sr so / could calm down **use
she felt so goOdO;Mie-I calmed Ova I started stroking her stein and she monied "Harder!".
I lucked her harder and she said "teshohort this pusayl Bite my , tipple!". I flicked her
harder and then took one other tittiee in PY hand and bit on her nipple. end she said
*Site it herderl s .I hit it harder and shs mooed "Shit, rack! Ohkthl MMtilmi'yes1 I'm coming!
tuning!" end she taw natmer my dick. X hissed her and she said "Hold up". I owed
and asked her oat was wroat isod .Ake *aid.' we n t a thick. * on the roof, it was 'told
.00 hill outside and I looked at *Oa* she was ciao and she mad "well just open the
window and fuck me on top of ye dreamier". I was horny and she felt so good so reaid "Al-
right tome mar.
opened up the *Slaw which was ri ght by my dresser. Then I mowed all of the stuff
off Si MY drawer and I got a tall *malt mirror on my dresser that's alsoasofull_body
and tiffany said "Keep the de** on the dresser so we can look at ourselves • I had
. ,
g., AclConi
never-done that b4 but Valet ag0044,it, s e.X..101t.it_aft- the dreame r . Tiffany .got on top
04tbitdresasr 004 w41 fat* thalanS*02-004.1:bad thorairrordassedsp . againet the
SOWS° I'm-fucking-her and tha , puisritahrfuthigg ghat that I'm moaning her nasal Yeah
1$0,104 .fhe hot mall looked in the mirror and couldn't sae.hh**aallitlin g _ia work so"
; bold her 2 bend over the drehaaremni,this was what twaSSiesingl In the Mirror seouid
see both of our faces and her . titties,honncingl. I neade*thetl- r grabbed.ber b y her heir
and tucked her hard and deep and aleratarted : taaaingl, ,Seaahp aki t l ..1041 fuck- m4I fuck
00.11101Y god! Pm about I cull!, lottrokad'has harder and said "Who 010 44, thlers
*Unseated "It's yours". I-lidkad at her iathealirror taking this dick and Looking all
•t17 and I 4444kad- har' on her 10140 010,141 ali" t haar.0.0,1114, this pussy talon* tofu . .
She said "It belonitt.You". L-Palled her hair harder by the root and said "I don't beliee
ynneite/1, me ire
end then cum on this dick girl". She moaned "It's yours! shit!
I tinsuestne
cuaitagtm and came
all over my dick until
, sh. e
pussy juice and cum reantaLeden..=. 44; t highaml ht 004 her on hat hank 04 wale 804
on the !id. She came over and laid on *reheat . and 1 1010, with my dick and saitinyou
this minalurightr.. I said -"it is?". She said "140 - and a lett*. iet-themsther
- -beak". I laughed and asked her where her girlfriend*: yog a that was downstairs
lad she said *They left cause X . told them that I was Wake* up here 2 fuck u and we was
goes bail While * I said **SI So u had this all fignred .nuti hnhr. She said *X Just
get Whet -i wane* X sai d "Xs that .right?". She looked up at me ggrabted. MY dick and said
10h40 u saying I don't?", Isaid "U right" tad we both laughed and fell asleep lgether.
Mlle; wok* was staring at ma leaning her head up on one elbow and I asked
betAibitt s up._ She said "I never had nobody do that 2 mshe e t I said "Seat'!" and she said
eintilicked and kla gad ma 411 over like 4 mal l, love ma, I *alio treated me like I was
14gaialat, felt good.reel gnedond ; know u be with other girls but I lust don't want
14'12:bnIrtsi* I lit* bein g around u and fucking u and I jest went u 2 reelect ma ' am u
diHthett". I said "Yeah.' dig:a-short y and I wouldn't hurt u or tr y 2 offer u something
2404. give u honestly. I'm not judging u cause of what we did hare if that's- whit'd
Osehent, ASIOr:as the other rhing.I'm not gonna lie 2 u tiffany.; love women and
,I like-beissarouiTyall but I'm not tr ynspurpoaaly hurt u and if I gave off that ribs
- -LaPteingiat. She said "Why it gotta do that?". I said "What?". She said "Ba jodein honest!
bate U!"
started laughing Which sides* laugh. She then got up and put my shirt
on *nett "Pm about 2 go downstairs and get samethinS2 drink" and walked out of my
400012.04 it.
tI laid hack in my bed and thought about the conversation that me And tiffany had just
- adand I thaeght . 2 myself that she truly was a special girl and I liked her realness
NOP that she expressed he rself . She was down 2 girth and %g roa t with her 60100
'cations and, I felt that, A couple minutes latortiffsni cast mantas us) the eiiii
and lockedmy room doorS oC th an-X,hesrd my brother donarbanging on the dear like "SSW*
let me in! Her ass is fat! 0. gatte let me hit that!", Me and tiffany was cracking the
faCk 41). She said she didn't have no Panties on and donny naught her in the kitchen and
Stishad on her and told her hesantetricse and she acted like she was Pine giro buys°,
Until she got her juice and then she ran on him and he chased her all the 'step-attires
I . couldn't stop laughing at donn y cause he was crazy as heal Tiffany got dressed and
I walked her 2 the door and she l ef t. I tad doftny he was crazy and T want upstairs and
went back 2 sleep.
*and tiffany was fucking lip, crazy 4 a couple sulks and then we decided that we would
just be friends, ht.donlYsead ay mom were getting real close and my mom decided that she
mild fry us some thicken 4 dinner this Particular night. ha and dahaf was WWI and
couldn't' wait. She-had-tha french fries just bow We I tkO l am.tha J uice was on Puintsand
donar took a bite out of the chicken and be thought he bit in; his li p gems blood started
nosing dawn his chin. I said " Toils lip bleedin g !" angle said "Se it's net" and rabid'
hip mouth and say the blood. After investigating his mouth-eafinally realized that the
bird on his plate was Emil/ aline an d MT mom didn't fry his good enough. MY most Said 407
Just put it back in2 the fillet .Pi n . and let it hail oft cashing! , Shoot! Tryna t sibiraas
as in fron t of company!". I said *Moe :it's just is She said " the milighborwitow we frying
chicken end now you One 'tains j can't coot with ia big neigh!". and started laughing.
Mead dery just shook our head. We bed 2 accept, that our toi is crazy but she odes.
That weekend one of the Chicks that donny had over the*meSnamed squirt came over
I kick it with us. Donny answered the deer and let herin. Squirt was looking like a puerto
Titan prince's and I told dola y Se gotta hit this end he agreed. Squirt came An and we
t, ‘iPtolank.)
all meet 102 ef.ropeen4-0110-$0110-JOI4C4P...i.04400,,gtateguirt was cur ling a big
ass bag And I 8440 her - whet,Wakle . the-hegahe,4044hatter Werh clothes was in there
and I leaked at dnelrand he g rObbet. the intg -40. 40144:1410,4fr S tuff on the bed * X
cum all of her lingerie and told her 2 gut it on 41.C . us eal: d ati O0-00 the bed 4 - uss She said
"Il m shy shawn". I said "Mow u sty and ' u silencer. You do it 4 money". She said -"But that*.
different'. I said "You knew whet.that"s right!' and I O i led but a Wad of money and deany
did the aim and 1 said "So can we g et &dance newi rc She said "You don't Hotta do all
that just turn ern* Site X can't undressin front trail". Me and donnyja0ghed and
said alright and then we turned erogod but we 04414 see her through the reflection in
the _window and when she got undressed and had netting On-f,tePSed donny and we turned
around. She was standing Oemited with a banging bod y 040004 2 Corer up. I moved her
bands and said "Squirt u gotk..-haehtifnl body babflihr Whpl*U-wint . 2 hide perfection?".
She said "I'M just shy . tha t 'ailltei li "gabypo don 't4Ot Ainthin g 2 haeht ;ebout. u
'ga t a pretty Os Mei wi th the:bOrlOi t tle ha* and turn or00041.1 eke hWeround so
.I:could see her ass and then IlepiandiVP her butt cheeks and
"U even g et : * netty
aaaholer.- She sOirtnd langhs„noncnnid "Donny get 11 011“44i d 'Held ap.U'got one last
teat" end r leaned itif her pussy real close and emelled , it:JenCeeid" even smell
podia .
, Y
I said "Squirt let me ask w :, hiniath1ftg". She said "Here we go". I said "Naw,on
some reel -..-shit, What if me and donny wantedj2faCk a real good right now and we kept what we did
in this reem.whet-nOUld,u st y ?" . 4telaid:"Il m not going 2 froot.1-de winealuek donny
bad end he know it and u Would: he
but tiffany . would kill me if she found out that
foci* 0. I said "Me and tiffany ain't 2Sethei m. She maid ft/ know but one day she *SW
me if I would fucicu and I said yeah anclahe told ma theOk.wee off limits". I said "Hoe
(shkgene;toutrol el dick? Silt-U .1 S cool l ' Underatend ye loyalt y and I respect it" and
wsklidished watching her dance while we smoked the wee& the left a inutile Minitel. liter.'
I tolid danny he better hit that and he said he just
let dean* find mit-Cause she
g ene go On tiltt r left and went
, . back up 77th and °goats 2 check up on tyriek and the
adOed . I told doe:Sy-thatDU see him later.
let uptown and got with tyook and he told . me that this eat at his 80001 was getting
crazy with hie and he got a 900 so he wants eo and mont :14S up there with him so he
can5ruthh/e chide. Mont backed Out at the last minute and"1 .-teld tyriek I'm still going
with him. I eon OS night at My grandenther l i house and me and tyriek walkecil his school
04 Slit morning. As soon as we walked in the aohoelyard all eyes was on uni' We 'looked
4 dude lad couldn't find him but we found one of the cats that tried 2 roll-oatyriek.
This 1.4 why I love tirisk. n o muchl beaease win.lome.Or drew he gone fight and he ain't
bashing dawn. So tytiek was like "Shawn there go . one of the beg hoiden right there".
/ .0.4 "Then he can take his man plece".and we walked over e,2-where dude was at and when
dude saw us coming he took his . begieff_and PrO0ertd 2 rumble. I smiled. I got up on him
and told him u gotta give my brother e rumble and he put his heaths up. I told 'tyrielt 2,
Mist this nigga. They put their heeds up and dude kept circling around tut* and he
engthr tYriek a Couple times but tyriet waited 04 when dude tried 2 catch trrtek With
a' right heind,tyriak : Slipped it and countered with a right of his .own and the nigirstetted
*tumbling and tyriek hooted on his ass and agot 2 get ofOthe school officers tame out
and I.told tyrielt we gotta go. ' 14 left. quickly 444 on our W47 out of there ttriek 'saw
the dude that we came 2 get and :I told hie "He'll hear float the ass whooping that u jest
out of here 04 we get locked up" and we get
tan his man but 4 right now ricsetta,4et
out of there and went 2 the mall and chilled until 3pm and then we went back intoned the
When We got around the hood we told everybody a bout hew tyriek - fucked dude up. That
eight I went back -dawn south philly 2 see donnr again. When I $4 down south PhillY 01
IWO told me that dimly wasn't, there and I paged him and he calledme beck fron:his horde
reheat crib. Raheam lived on hth . and tasker and had this gety. see chick named mit* that
he lived with and was in love-withOltin was ikiec as hell witka phet ass.big titties.end
some juicy eels lip's. I was tryna fUck-inita but I chilled. cause donny got clot- of love
4 takeem and told me 2 chill. Sahean was a pussy 2 me and I used 2 flirt with her right
is front of him. Donny called ma back and told ma that he's over Raheem crib and 2 come
over right now. Squirt also lived with them. I told him that I would be over in a half
hour and hung up.
As SOW as I came out of my bedroom and walked ih2 the hallway,' ran in2 my mom's girlfriend Devine that I was secretly fucking. My uncle Kevin was fucking her first and told
me that she got a crazy dicksuck and put her right on me and she ended up falling in love
with me and stopped giving my uncle any ass! I came out of my room and Devine was like
"Oh my god Debbie! Why you ain't tell me my baby was here?",and walked out of my mom's
room 2wards me smiling. As soon as she got up on me she said "Where you going with my
dick?". I laughed and said "Devine not right now,I gotta go take care of something". She
said "Then you betta make it a quickie then!". I was hoping that my mom came out in the
hallway so I could run off but she never did and I was stuck. Don't get me wrong,Davina
was a pretty ass chick that was on the chubby side but she was NASTY! Devine let me fuck
her in the assoussy,moutheand tittie fuck her! She was a beast! I knew that if I didn't
get out of here fast that she was gone get me 2 fuck her so I tried 2 talk my way out
of this but it wasn't working and she got me.
She looked behind her. 2 see if my mom was looking down the hall and once she saw that
she wasn't,she pushed me in2 my room and said "Let me ride it real quick! Phli it out and
lay on the bed foijme". I said "Devine Pima be right backl",and went for the :door. She
jumped in front of the door and said "No you not! Alright,well let me suck it. Cum in my
mouth". Just her saying that got my dick rock hard! I thought about it and felt like a
dick/tuck would be alot quicker cause her head game was pit' So I said "Alright,come on!",
Dayton said "Hold up,I gotta get my nutty buddy". I looked at her confused and said "What?".
She said "Just wait right here,you"11 love itowatch!",and smiled as she backed out of the
thorn and closed the door behind her. I was sitting on the bed with my dick hard,confusedond
as soon as I got Up 2 leave she came back in the bedroom with two reesel s peanut butte;
cups and said "Come on,I'm ready now". I pulled my pants down and sat on the bed and Devine
said "Take ye' pants all the way off1",and started pulling my pants off. Once they were
all the way Off she told me 2 lay back on the bed and I did*
She then took the reeses's peanut butter cups end smeared them all over my dick. They
were melted so the chocolate smeared ell over my dick. Once she was donesshe sucked and
ate all of the chocolate covering off of my dick. I couldn't believe how good this shit
felt! Then she went back 2 my dick and concentrated on the head and I came so hard that
that I felt like she had just sucked my soul down her throat! She chewed up the chocolate
with the cum in her mouth and then opened up her mouth and pointed 2 her tongue so I could
see it and said "Nutty buthiy",and swallowed all of it! I said "Fuck itl"'ond got off of
the bed and threw her on the mattress on her stomach. She looked back at me smiling and
I pulled her pants down roughly and ripped her thong off. I rubbed my dick up and down
her wet pussy lips so I could get back rock bard again and I grabbed her by her hips and
rammed it in her and fucked the shit out of her! I pounded her pussy hard and deep and
I-said "You love this dick don't you?". She moaned "Rmm,yes,I love it! Shitl",and pushed
her ass back 2 meet my thrusts. I'm not gone lie,4 every hard stroke that I gave her she
pushed that ass beck 2 take it.
I pulled her hair and said "Cum on this dick girl! This juicy ass pussy you got like
I'm not gone fuck the shit outta you!". I pounded in2 her harder and harder and she tried
2 run and got on the bed and laid on her stomach. I got on top of her and opened her legs
back up end slid my dick right back 1n2 her tight,juicy walls and continued punishing that
pussy! I pulled her hair hard and made her lean her head back 2 me and said "That old ass
nigga you got at home ain't hitting this pussy like thts l is he?". She moaned "Shit Shawnl
Mime. I nibbled on her ear and said "You walking around here with all of this good ass
pussy and you ain't even getting fucked right is you?". She moaned "Not Oh god!",and clamped
her pussy muscles around my dick and forced my nut 2 come sooner then I *petted but I
held it off. I kept stroking her hard and pulling her hair and talking greasy 2 her while
I pummeled her pussy. After a couple more strokes I felt like I was about 2 cum and said
"I'm about 2 cum in this juicy ass pussy of yours! Tell me it's Mines Devine' Tell me it's
all mines!". She moaned "It's yours baby! It's all yours' Yea! Fuck me! Shit! I'm miming!
I'm cumming!",and her pussy started contracting around my dick as she came which made me
cum deep inside of her and the pussy was so fucking good that when I came I went out like
Nike Tyson and bit her on the side of her face, Not hard,but enough 2 let her know that
she had brought out the animal in me. We laid on the bed afterwards catching our breath
and she said "I'm not gone lie boo,that shit felt good when you bit me on my face". I said
"Bitch you crazyt",and we both laughed. I went in the bathroom and got cleaned up and then
hauled see out of there b4 round two got started.
ft ,N1Acicsok
mot over 2 kahest!...ABerteint-444-1400-Siti,MitS-411444-the-40-sr and 10140:S° hug
2 let her SO 4001 PomiarAotivie.rook_efter. I hrinded_on her and Squeezed
her juicy ass and she started smilint,thekt reluctsettl , lother-10. I came in and sat
in the living room and ROMS nee 4.e1A -04 :20040 my hind Shit told me that he was kicking
squirt out and Me s e not going ; Oita* place 2 live if me and Donny don't help hart
SO I asked why he wes.kichieuher out teethe said "Because this battle short on rent
again". Squirt is good peoples and I felt some type of way about this sOnkileee pigga
disrespecting her like that and wanted 2 slap his mustache off Of his fee* but DOMy
noticed my facial expressions 444:40,14 m0,2 be noel so T kept my composure and asked "HOW
•tigh is Ohs short?". He re pl ieckS.Phe itho rt7$ 7,5". I couldn't believe it! I said "Denny
Could've handled that.'Whsedo tati - ditelth it?". He said
me",antwilked 2
his bedroom and Opened- up the,doortHJ
When -I walked 4040bodtoes.: he had a camcorder estroklike. he Wasluerfilming something
inithe'roOm. It vie or AH4t41d: and pointed 2sSt4"ihtL*0 said "Wbat's/eWof
He said "For $15.10-ASCOOnnensoki a smut tatieHeitaqUirt. She'll de*atever-yall
went. Tell can filet het in the*SOOPSY.s he'll, ,eno yell off , yall can bust in her font
she sa y about all of this?". He said "It me
whetent!". I said 'Mtn stop playing!
was her ids...but she esit t heneW440“914, it Wobt4.04:0"Y is with it". This was my
moment! I had been 'nutting 2.10,0444ittS44/40etto_riCen 'ee ls a minors now and it's
finally about 2 happen!
I looked at BrauliA104 .4eid:"Iotwhit's up.? We doing this?". Theo Squirt walked in the
roOm mitknothinaSS tot ,her400104.,
„— All of that 40.7 00 was out the . ..doer:Mow that it
was money Abs. needed .involventAhOt:tittie4 was 109hiffiiigeed .and Iniefiindt was ready
2-400 4 soviet Pots? PUlleune-2.the4idet and out of the coos and was like "Shawn don't
do,iti trust ms on that!". I said sOhil". Os said "I wan-1041de* her right before you come
over in the bathroom and I 400 my dick off and now my shit is burning!". I said "Yotdon't
140 wool How re Abit . ternint ithat fast?". Oessid st's-telling 4ouither-ebit . tin't tight".
her finally that I was even thinking about
onc.:,-I was So Son, 40.01enl Y to
for the nail This bitch was *n a l I askedflonny."Brialialdoit burr. !I /totted
tag 404 said "Yea know you not still thinkint.Obrnit,Suckine her moni s t, ' said "If it
ain't burning that bed..I can sCascriklittle paintS0100,4ou g hed. hard as hell and said.,.-L
" the tuck crazy man! Now I ain't lettingHyhttuck this bitch man!". I was hurt
but this is my brother so I gotta roll with it.
IJohind at Mite and started 2 just breed, OSheals bitch assfor his bitch so r could
$4t this nut off and Danny saw me and said "Come on mantes out wiend we loft. Years later
I found out that squirt never burnt hie. Th nErag that he had wiped his ,dick off with had
been noway one 2 clean- some poppet spray off Of the BOOT thet-stotrt.s14Atts'OSt,
there when they were pla ne t . X WesSie d is hell that my shot had bienAiken,away from sOmake a smut tape with squirt "dai . 2 default! That chink was worth feeling e little .1.
gain for cause Itnov it had 2 hurt le her 2 be Looking that damn good! That day though
I just left and wont tom.
se d. 1.4got
a ,
us. Vkilichhe*Stiaded % '2
• item and I trial- wsii-;
, _
dinner It called tiffan1,fld tws,star
. . t r, e- Cool „
any of that whirdr' lEad
a arguing on the phone because she wanted 2 . bmi a/
T we were
'jiktit sv Sex partner.
and 9,14avo‘hie
arSulnA,44**7 walked
*And tolithim that she expts4ed
her hide
ling* go tot ths:jphop. and she
2 0* whichltada S
have a rad: Pad understanding on
/TM 4 ..bia , k
.y flail
all of her aaa44k—Oku 4404 -
ban the door*
_and donny'ava 00
bath and Worm t, Hai t o I had.a ck -#43 caliber UP 4.14.114 1 0 muith***0 : tha A Mk
gale Aran she left it at my
the deer iiiit it an
th .. knife. 09,n,, ,:,,red
s 8117 mimed *lax that used 2
a°,0 b. I Sat ant CH Jail se 1 didn't- knew his
but deafly did. He case in the veins. and dons/ want atukSat al um 4- hiatA3 nah haah
2 arguing with tiffany on thelPh$ 4 tut(' au that she was in love with'ee'ind 210
not going 2 lie.she was a bad chtck andhad me opened but4 haos1 couldn't give her what
abs wanted from me at that , didn't want 2 lie 2 her and hurt her but she couldn't
*von respect or approciatemy honesty. Tiffany is naturally beautiful with a baattesAhad/
and the average niggalwauld'AiJ Cat lied 2 her jot 2 get some ass! While we mar 'OW
mom stormed by me- and went beck in the kitchen and than X saw donny and this aiiiga'
Once I saw dearly arguing with this -cat I immediately Sot Mad and told tiffany I hold up but she just kept *Sal nn eriaid *Tiffany I /ars u and I tumid u 2 hold on camp* seme.
thing is going on with ‘10,017'.. For some ra4104044, wed* and she Sot Suitt. I'aahla
dollar-Annetta') And he'fia tli thnt alga and Pa la y was afluing'and be called momeraibitchl
The last parson tha t AallidAt i mom a bitch was my sister kis and we rumbled hard about
that shit! I got up and the 045- I had in my lap fail on the floor and I leokad4own and
picked itup end walked 2 the door and said 'Penni curs out of the wayfl ond dinareaw
the gun An . arhand . 044 inoved4-I.Sut u p on alas and smacked him wi th the Sun and split
his fan QM an. hall **-4P' na4 0* and dann r nbonPa* his *** for about twenty minute*
until my mom came out of the *S han and Palled.** of f of him and told him 2 leave. I
was mad as Sell and-my-an* told me 2 Wm *pia and I wont and got beck on the phone with
tiffany -and - ost : atartai talking "haat what had just happened. A couple minutes later the
doorbell rang again And I vait Zaaseer it with that Pistol b y arfl ide Jelt saw that it
was my ma* rub's. He came in and dolor told him what happened and while-Anne talking ve
beard a knock on the door. I asked everybody "Who the fuck is knocking on the door instead
of aging the do060117 "0,1Rtin. gat,na Anioailt iti llaee.ah0_1t is" and Pulled the blinds
hack And Looked out the window and was Tikt.,T001k!s. the c000 1 "0 I was mad as shit that
this Puss, had went end told the cope. I waked rubin how man/ co ps it Was and hs.said
that it was only two. I .than *eked him if he had his gun on him and he said he did. I
than said nTo +T'S not going back 2 31/1 4 this tat ass niiga:minl * , Rubin said "So What
' , yahoo do,ran out the back door We:
maniall we gotta do is
Sid* lihind the well right here and done* open the door and when they utess. i n 2 speak
24=44,0 soli* we can dra y down afliman • lubin slid "And what if the y go for they gueei
I said "Ws bust thafses'aid-tAWthey'auft1",
My hotter 63047-4**.that rubin was *mead and stepped in. This is'enother'reason
rs A/ ttoth**k. ,much banana* he know haw 2 get an 21OMPAY brakes when I get Owl
a if it Means iniong *S ig hot headed esq.. Ninn y anirshean,coOl out mat! I.dan't
iinsaa sea u gat
r soteP40 Why that c ouldn't'lli-tha/a nes lettin g killed? Ron
A AnA0A*AiAsill got aa 11104, 6***r ia tting killedl 'ilhatt1thhing with thia.niggar.
00407 said "Ingle (kn i t ever question my loyalty O r SY 1440'0,0 ttar trynat:get-thiS
4400- liana it Olt- Aith. tha a004- 4Ak u that u don't Oren see that- thitkiaga . d4n i t Went
no WA* of it *AC* Aaaa 1 * still banging on the fucking door! This nht:Wlife'Sentense
man! Give rubin ye tat and let him lute out the,badleand'onswet the doorrif jther loot
as- 10,244t it we *till caling . hoOnl'Ihileitun *Anna risk getting me killed SO cause I'm
not letting t han Just do N othing 2oaaa or no goal go what's up?". I thought *bent it
,andibs.i4doseise,Alot of loisiegi4lropod44 up the door andlhicOPe came IA and they had
alha with them. He told:thawthat:it was me and my brother : Chat'itoSailted him and reluctantly turned around and got hsakilffid with Oat. I wenli Fthe Silty Jail on state'
09010 P4.0 a, and dant went IthS youth study Center. It was febriiii 4,19970
going 2 and this chapter with 4 poems titled "So Sienitln ,"S eliere in me","Oaly GaD
can ludo me,aad"Where nabOdY Corse" and I hoptthat you silt theism
s Jicicrat)
This Pl ea is a 04 2 Olte‘ 2. 10 hOOPO Ja itargeter - ,
, For some
, 77th and oduatto
reason she always &Ore* good in me and fell in love flth me. Tiff**, is a-viry beautiful,
aSifilyilltiot t talsntad Wairan„and iSan we were **OW:she alwa ys Wanted 2 ba at Flirt
and when I fitted 2 diss her it made her cry teem* she thought that I didn't like her
oi4thn wasn't pretty enough but IN . her* 2 let u know tiffany that that's the furthest
thing from the ustskijas you could lossina. 0 were always beautiful. 2 **-bOt7lia And re
btat$10 bad etaeln0Alkthat we wouldn't mess with aeoke t herlssisaer Wh i ch i s why even
though my Sat* 10,* was in
with la y he newer acts - it. So I iterate this pastel
that TI ever caused u-wasiftt
00214 altar the air with.**Clet u know that any
intgatinsliit was done due , Lleilli y • I 'Ave u habYEar i t.I lies that u enjoy pa' point
nir pm 2 Lo o k
,5 , ,
like is" 4,
x trait t il
Rqw I' enk
A - -, ,
_ if,
When ' m
king who 4 tine ape
2 7,e ,4, Th ou
t u are
but X,dtdo't
IMW Wi'°;9:MMAM030.0 I couldn't see tabea utiful
01:. 0420M4
t s any
' 141"1 . 44 ,..thigi
_. utreac herous
2. 0iWO
mean t
I . sfflr thot.
- 4and
. ..- - le
60- or
I don't kn ow ni I couldn't 2 fa ca e ye hand
' 7 , beautiful vi
2 1107.
to 040 au
that Isincere
4 1. in
tiP I rv
end.. all
ol cau sed . 2 shod
ii '
I don't -
bun from day
t Always sh a 1
Qa°;11.. be M
Y tat"
2 be 4 t h ug
1:- ill
- -
I hope
"ractrin 7
only tutsg 4A pr be
'AT::LiriltAlt I "!;:14.;::-.41:t:f.2::“
Stun I so uaa a l ways so
"hale nobody cires"
poem while I was in t
he county at CJ.Cj.
and I been*. rsatde presaed. Peoil-e-I
I was just looking bath at wir
thought Would be by my side
weren't and I felt' boniest, I didn't. went , 2 be hire anymoregbut I soon discovered that
it stet titte, 4 Ai 2 Isere yet. So hire is one of ay most intimate pates and I hope
u enjoy it,
wrote this
tut in retrospect
-"Vs looking 4 19co , vox stuck
and hate
in 4 theyillt
until the day we meet our
Motionsi are ye !ern
vh.4 people *inn son
befriend ne
itiotans out of time on-'044..1Piail
bees404 -tiOn fuektheitnWri ii0S - Stronger
My last bosh is becoming shorter
while the -pain and ' misery :- Sioui:ilonger
Who Ones Oat?
in :tiorld full of lies and deceit
!. 14i4i*FIVY. illew Wylie;
ather -110,thr is WM* **Pt
• hitjteeit i. s060,-
* lo 0
Oft of his feet
bn 1 6;44 wrong
and I.thirrie
f411 of
where X,h40118
conquered all of it fears end dried 'iljy ell if sly tears
aStot- that I can , genhi it 2 haven
instead of being in this slice where nobody cores%
Se Vie
I wrote this poem 4 a female -thet wetke41. at county prison that I was at that I fell
all of
In Love with and who risked bar
a node while?' was under
00000' 0 00000t040. , Sha;: stIII-nOkOn''On 00teliilan so Cobvious Veseield won't
use her tie, hetlehe:knoes *Vie and she in someone that is very sPeniellE ite4 I gate
Merhbe -althasmi"."Citshatte*See-who I'll refer 2 her as
this chapter, So 2 my
bebyllutebutt i t 'love ii girl and I hike enjoyed the fir M00041n-thst /everwrote2 ul
'Believe in me"
111*-• that
of your suture
tao S
'ody is
your wind is :::ir 2
fkaa will is 41101.1.. me the 1401 404 of
104,000* of your Minn'
- 'sthe Wan t ? that other ntga s missed
an T.they ditet t a t*: their arP0a• '7
X "Sat u- 2 block out 0,4;441 .uunkd
being 2gitkor
first time in
- ;;;truly IrOW4ever
ne !Or and U
talt spaesion 4 - the
41;004 2 be your comforter
regattas u from all misery and
I - kage- plenty of men have tried
So P11 impious myself from all
our liv e s
of the rest
0044 , n rosil y trust me enough
2.'041k me all of your specie/ -secrets?
Or when u decide 2
atrit eft your heart
eget 2 keep 'it
Oeteliattletent-sre with your girlfriends
- Witted yourself thinkingof we?
411,flreik it or
Or 00 u 0f004 - Z-BAns me a chance
bmesima I ' m in jail and not yet freest
I know thee* questions art:fisting through ye mind
heeitee ifsre looking 4 an everlasting love
AedletbIgirl this could truly happen
if is could jest believe in this
°Day SlilP
efol it*?
I wrote this poem while X.wis ie !Cig& O s teeedetwhile tenik ee tehistafill*IS 00_0r.
and they shawls.* picture e t ier ehi lSheedvi hneie Sieha e i Mitwit, ' Peien, end . were sP
*Wet his death, It crushed re .in41-thentht * ASO . 014100tee14. 2, waye tell the
at the youth study cantertiariede Academyror sitibOdy who disliked how we lived our lives.
We eeld4 er "Only GOD can jUdge . les h Se this: P081"1/..didiested' one of the loYeleettreeleet
atimpe: that I hake-lrivtlege 2'eeet. On this P lanet * I liestr./win and IHKeethe 100444
dew* at me smiling right now. Wal t:sass me a snot up there and tell COD Lneed]me my OWa
meal I love O nine-and this posals .jiediceted 2 al
"Only 000 etta judge me"
"Drenched and tormented
as / walk through the 'gates of hell
11-0 head is hut high
despite my adversaries cries 4 me 2-411.
I will walk this path alone
with liner* faith and reds' grime
whi le Steen s claw at my face and allover me
not * teat will be shed down ay face
I've been betra y ed by my friends
and eteeifilei by 'SY brethren
But in ay heart I se a Jetties
with sins
that one day my soul may enter 102 heaven
l . beve'CO room 4 Love .
0804, 104,* no longer lives here
All 'ton see is misery and hate
*AS Steels 2 scared2 conquer t heir feet
When SIY Pontehrant is passed down and my knees are 2 weak 2 bow
I will accept Mt fat* like's men
never whtinnering or showing a frown
If I el truly wrong 4 the way I have lived my life
No tYPieriteiseholarpor Politician
will aver be ablii touch we
Because I've walked this *arch 2 the test of my ability -
knowing in my heart that only GOD can judge me"....
R. • \Mc 440
I got sent 2 the count; and it was th e, worst practising / had ever
been through. This was my first time begin an adult Priem. They had shout twenty Of
us in one cell. Their were People laying on thef loPre t uger sA b e bone/handiest taking
a shit in front Of everybody. A. just wanted this whole erten' ' 2 he over witi. We were
fed whet was called 's cold pack which consisted of two slices of bread.two cookies,two
pieces of meat.* bag of c hiPe ktwo . Alinee, of -ebeeees end a Juice. After we ate we Were taken
2 * Mower so we cou ld wash 4P and put
some county cloth's and prepare lint 2 , our unit.
The shower phase was the mo st da#OmOniaitg. You hail 2 strip_naked;in front of *nether
men and do all sorts of gegre4ni" thingelike. beed over antspread'ye ass for a dude
that's probably aso ret Irl de tt44.90 Of 790. Mentally u 8974Wii iirtne where else just 2
gat pass this stag 4Witk on t. geln ii2 the hole, .11a l l.Ot 104.444the wee do beeline° their are
theme that don't mind this Meer treatment so
can only siniek 4 mreelf,aekthess like
las. Then n are token 2 4 944; 4 4044 . 444 until 4 are medically cleared of diseases so
4 won't greed anything 2 other ,i4100-0
„,... 6 Afte r u are cleared of 447-harmialltiseases
u are assigned 2 I un it in general population.
I got *signed 2 uott.DI.4 00 2 the prison being over populated. .D1-4 was half protective tnato4Y and half hand toOP* I hot put in t h e a il YiWWhOnd ine n hernia maned men
man from ninetoNO. Ades Men uend- 2 04 a bully When he was younger 'One's g good dude‘
and he ended 4P gettin g !tot which paralysed him from the waist down. -My luntiproyel from
/pies was on the pod with me too.
had got shot and was on crutches. Royal had the
00 on awash end was treating niggeten the pod. He put me in tine on his phone he had
and introduced me 2 some other good aides on the Pod. Royal was extorting these two cats
fOom.010et n wn nOmmnsuntb.e nd tomeelio. I didn't reallIgnreehout them until, I heard
thiet tbel Was trocenicetown and r took s em up tinder the wing heoeuee the dank 1 was in
love with at that time was from nitetOwn. Smooth said that he knew her and.ttet.hatused
2,meee with her stater so I got ton' 2 give him a pass. Smooth said that he used 2-40i
but I oenidet understand why he didn't just fight royel. Anyway l romeelio-*rWYthet smooth
804 4.Ples cause he knew my chick and he jumped tn2 the conversation and was Like nether
know her too.That's my buddY.I be calling her ugly and she be gettin g mad", loyal gave
DOS look like "/ got t en" and I confirmed his look. I get- Onthe Phone and Called et
chick and she told me that she knew him and not 2 butt him but t felt like she was only
trYte$ 2 tett him And that ni ght I told smooth 2 mind his business When Me and ro y al man
in rotten° cell and tied him up and beat him with a radio cord off of th e -Pageaenta Mans
Roleslio was one of the softeet - niggas I aver mat. Royal took this alga food.radieteeneit
metics,end mode him give up whatever tray we wanted. After all of that he still wasted
2 . hent around us so we used him 4 the flunky that he yeti- I'mae on everything from-nicht:ern
than tame through there. piin o t get me:wrong,nicetOwn get :nejelenhiters too. One of my
aliheadit is from picetown named Percy at. Georgo,better ka yo as Barn and I fuck with his
little brother heavy) little Corey,better known as C-Rock. Another young cat from nicetown
come through that I ended up tartan like a little brother named little Omar. lie got Put
on our block and smooth OMMV VP 2 tie And was IA, "Io,hcknow ye' chick too.Thaes.her
heart". I called her and she confirmed it and I took the little nine under the wing.
I didn't know at the time t hat little mar was takin g money on the streets and it was
et price on his head . I went to pill line that nig ht heroine that was how we got off of
our block.and when.' went out to the hall 2 ru n around I ran in2 my older 401101 Dwayne
Slimier. He saw we and called me by ay ! ma neme instead of calling me shia like orerYbe41
slat does and I turned around and he hugged me in a beer built he told me that hisbrother
mtent.11 other sossis o sss VA the POlistith him too and that he would let him know I was
in the Jail. He asked me what pod t was on end told ael: yrite,my police photo number
down so he could get me (toyed on the block. I wrote it down and he told es 2 watt in the
pill line and went and got my cousin marty.
As soon as marry saw me he started throwing combinations at the end than hugged me. He
told so 2 go peck my stuff up Sues r was moving o n the Pod with them late. I went 2
my cell and packed my stuff up and when I told men man that I was moving he immediately
got gad. I told him I would be right 'across the hail and
would be cool. I stood up
4 man man while we were collies; cause since he was in a Wheelchair a few cats called themselves trying 2 dome at him sideways but r Wood all of that in the bud. I hugged him,
and told him I would be over 2 . Chick up on him. Royal took it the hardest and was like,
"Don't speak 2 me:men.Hown gone just Isere like that?". I told him that my cousins was
getting me moved and I was right *arose the hell. After a few minute* he calmed down and
hugged me and made me p romise that I wield come bock over and kick it with him, I got
Co b
R ...IncKson) .
),- Reese 2 D1.2 and my cousins het** tleta,Ge Ritseb, Jai erefte.mert, arm so * 144444
bag toll of food Ind cnegatics and introduced so Lids tritieppberis beDo from b kiibliA
projects and la from bassi/4 street * Re three got tight and OA everything thotheeN'Tir
second day on the block CR, had got 42 a fight with this oldhasil Ohne ate and dodo webs*?
ad the door sad Sae sure nobodh, '` My days are aaent on the phone orj1Loying n
cousin tam* in checkers. lie teal I asked h/st if he Sr
e played our arendfinfttr ..
and he said that he heat hi*
* - nee_ ?spirt MY ass on the *It 1 -°
could tail that be wintalt,7 ix_ •- f: ,
I ended up gettng. li r.,...,..
. 7. , , .,,,,,
.. Y.,. tr
had happened Oil
.4eased s
tailie had ' 'Ian
T.. 14.2: -1nak
end as
1 was 00110000,1ith .0 ,,
on the Kock item a visit Ate
the nine tram) Meat named .
2 run elf of the Pod but thi,:,
are* the pod serinirY but 5,
the all and took:this-ass whoop,
it ass another cat on the t *.* - 7 . -.-. .
Old MT twain marty that tilling_a
''' t' "12 the cell end told hj
woes Lis! QuThey was my man a:
Ise, was hot! The cat that dida rkt rasom
i t-4
. 1:46 A 4_ - -
, . this
ir . - wai
sit-, -,yet
$ Go bail. I
ody that he *Sued the rat 2 2 the sal game and he almost got ..4. T. l''uti
hise lit' until
me, Quincy
. .
_ aER.
. 1123.timed
came Gilt the,ceu 4ritat.„„,„
this . nigge in the. cell and beak '.d
him anvil ha estarted yi
and haltring and seiner told s eta -!rEee-thriet ha I Peke u heck iii that sail-H-044.iit non04
4 j.r.-:
crying on a dime. Next was smiler. Valid op on his while he oraS watching, to,a4Po.Sit him'-,`-
with a right hand that knocked him out of his seat» Marty took one of thalcate:pho bad.
i esma from upstate in the mop closet and it was about 2 g4naly but a mutual le
is like family 2 us named buttons Iiiretrene4 a ndtiolgOfehOftpigiOino 110-.cli
richard alien projects. My cousin denten *need out and vadPh9fitrand Pt OW
me in the cell with him. Marty taught es bow 2 play s ass, pp* celled, cain
up thirsting me out of all my points * *
had fun though. Mr *sin Darryl Sbu,
the nil too. Me was on 5 unit, We used 2 all meet up in 014.-hilthen* Dar r yl
at to cfo's srefene h ehite t and deals who ran the kitchen sk,tkat tin. They we
beet bunch. Also in the jai/ with us Was Dwayne " gig iiiitbK1140004- W121, 1100 0
sad funny as hell. We threw wiz a gisznagy party kola floc., too. We all had pie
....., . .
v...24.4potrAmex/e .essteesuat amallAtAtirma stnwburry shortcake.'.
— '-
I had a haste that was OA the S leek withefrom around m y neighborhood eased wall.. His
opola was issy sock and iiiy machAare& my Ufa *0 wall was like famil y . After sr came
haek from the kitchen I wa nt and got on the Phone. talked 4 my fifties minutes and then
I was om my ma Y-2- 0 call and wall stopped si and was like "Plmn.lhonshawn you just gone
let them nines take ei shit?". looked at his Confused and was like "WhifliBeAt/ What
the tuck is rou talking about?". He "Ye' man dedO.And CC went in Ply , ceit end teak
MY Commisiory and fty cosmetic?. tM4ofetkii!..4 had everybody on the block scared 2 death
aid they Wes fuch i p s, ttpreli;tYPt4t4lt, a tqgaa batItheY."401-aaii, 2 00 .Ced ..te - wes 2000everyday so I can9:' 4
of that *hit
' Wall said ".7
14ettY aadtia
in e timy,
he was
: nothing.
and my curtest* tarty-L*01d them 2 go take the rest of hit*htt..I'falt bad but it is
it , is. Toilet have noweak
tea qtgga around me.
,alter thet.wall was
he went 2 the store end he
every week
.W4 lielt1;,2 give him a piss on tha-stren . ;.. •
404-D t give me this sad ass siti of as, / went 2 the gym 'Star on that, day and rai . ie 2 .*1 tan ton who h old me that they was waiting on this yanagiti&2 come 4 , thitiNYM ae, they could stab him up 4 reeeteg
is one of they cribs. Rock had a 0041.412414-0, on him :too and I knee that whoever
. 4ith that was gone be in trouble, Twenty minutes went by and I said " What Is he po'
be coming down?". Rock said "MY eau Just went up there and told him thet.f •
00,1"n 4 him and he gone get him in the gym •o we can. get him". I said °
tI4e all mapped outw .and I waited with him. My cousin Marty ended up - coming. in ti
with me too 2 take care of some business and me and Marti' went and gat an the hi
kooilie:lioutes later I saw a short dark brownekin cat that iooketlamiliaOrti
;;JOet. end I saw rock headed his way with his hands in his pants on his 426.
etT thelittle brownskin kid and then it hit me where I knew the Wee* chick
hUflAtttla Omar!
Itak :wai a , killer and t e m Mandarins what would convince little omar 2 run up JR one
I ja0p*0 dawn off of the bleachers end Marty was like "What's up cotta?".
gotta stop soma t a" and ran over 2 where tittle emir was headed and I yelled
who had a sinister grin on his face. Little Omar didn't even knew what he was walk.
I;ipnt there just in time and put my arm arount little omar shoulder and spun
d b4 rook took his knife out and rock looked at as confused. By this
ra y was by my side and rock was mart/ yoaagha y l so be asked Mart y what was up
litti e . amar 2 the side. Little omar didn't know what was going on and he asked
grabbed him like that. I put one hind on his shoulder and said "Tau was about
it'get :stabbed :up till niste. and luckily I was down hers". He said "stabbed up 4 what?".
I slid "You was taking money on the straits right?". He looked down like he didn't want
r it antthed smiled. I said " ran in a-nigga name rook crib" and he
leelt44 at me with recognition of the name so I continued "Rock got somebod y 2 lure You
deri/more and thir-niage who was walking in ya' direction -was rock. You gotta tighten up
youiginv You feltairtha oldest trick in the book. As long as I'm in this jail you cool
but you gotta stop trusting niggas. You making it 2 easy 4 a 'sigma 2 trick you out of
ye' WO Do You Sot a knife". GO Hid "Not on me". I said "What good is i t if i t ain't
on you?". He said "You right". I said " yourself man and atop trusting everybody.
GO head back 2 ye block and don't 4get the nista face that just tried 2 get you". He
meld s' won't. Thanks metn.that was some real shit" and went back 2 his block.
Rock coma 2 as and said "d amn 4hl a . what was all that about?". I said "Youngboyl is like
11021Y 2 my chicle -And I res pect .the game and D know the life we live but I couldn't be
him- whoa you did that". Rock shook his head and maid "Shia you can't save everybody man".
said "I know",and me and rock went and eland basketball with m y cousin natty.
max- V4
char m
I erd* did .n't
2 101#2044:
44. PrO*1076.4-:
.reck l.sspyonng
Re dith
l'"and walked _oh:* me and- reached for di
Land:a1, *
- hiiIiitii
; ,44
2t' kbo ok. <
t-v and l e ft4
wbtl e ,
44 4y:
04• :1414
pona, :paam ;en op 4444 and wit -.141i on me aOhk
w indow
i i i .my '1.
dim **MIL
Oa t04_440Talo: cbiô Rat ion ' niliti
on mit-*ell be fAxiaifOrgs : 40.. t hat. parkIng lot". The nba
as 2 coif hp and :darryi :SU .sis ).2:,
the pod
*Inks brogan* tor _ 4141 :2 ,gic
Al/ did like a month \ to tho hoteu pd
: r.q. :. SO.i*:;
MY, . ,
it:ft id out -my 'cell
in .1.t 404 as .400o
fr :soitmil
nit. l wen 2: ap owli. enit,p0
1 hoard *nobody sot itt fuckt np
a on the block" and I turned oreuat 2 eta
moos sa kiiirtip4Ffimp, and he to,14: me 2 cote
who it was and it
my my-r ',. was bunting . AC i p. iliOnitatin introduced ie 2
ent to t#M.Yerd:w0 we
:hialies11_100*_,00:0 sMP4141
lie -eases and Iiiiit Oil , to -111 soh. tight and
t aa back down the klicluoi aid 'I: tilah Itanyaita
ate ant lidded 2gatifter,S0 coustn me
ili Ac K s ba)
me and letvAdated MU 2 my *Oita mosi and-the* hit it lemediete/y. I was in
00 office with sr tota4a 4m111 4,044v0.0444 0400 platter 40114 4004 014#40040,
this stonamicsi. 484'044444 eft lAY *WO in th.:ernee : Sdsaid that she 44444:1140
anAte,Ilas-2 4420.**a0402,0**T0( -flt_ tha.Prla4a4. ca . thWOottioaler t 40, .1;44.014
a pate of Oita aolit ' attlattalihilaikgriE laltiraaltaklkt.t.h4J aa00 1-101.4040040 out
2::40 6 et horsetail et- 1401:1000.04 *Oh Orertehreeta I soh OS and eet ait lektit the
ants and was 'like 441“; AO :4014 2 • 04,1044 and eeeir'SW eeefeirrs"
one 244444e• '444 sp0241144 .4t 7444 • was 44 .44.444 VS'Stia
don ' t
, r s taa no 444.341 '::
istOw *irk d own h4r11.1.0, 144-0.444t44) -.4.00 el+.40 :1144. 1,144 titt jils. 41.* a 44 but
;411,04 nit thin
:drot*.seiook blowfloofte
andI Oti ldef: 44* with
tad 'Oa - 4P, 444 0.0. t444.4 he : 4.
144040- 1 - 0004-44400fr 40440*,04:404.4004.01*0400!**00.4 A0'0040.***100 141004
atcatal was like444005000401100.4.hara,alth_Oe;X:OMPt 1040 thairoonfah0010001H
I eattoed.Akktbielittlell4Aidolate Oki* 000.4010410/*000.40404 4 ,0401 . 040, we ware
APhOONOO L*04hat. bar411 ,4.00 !Mar4e.0eatcrhat T . aarar4-04 it .
4144.:`, 411:4#2 and thea always 44.'4 so I can sot Atif4$01 - 444 faster, 11:4044
4 An ita . t441.C *040A.444 44 rt r4t0.47-4444414,444 0400 4041 Y.400 014 I &set
4114004: 04 -00040044!,.40,0014.1441,* yo no0o.00k#414.204o koop-OsItintn
is rhoaahaaa but WA* tali me 01000*.Shejiaid
me:* I laughed and
goaai ion aH rkaP00.014H 1lhe rh040$0001 that's alright with e '4014 4414
at me. She 40414 . 00 called so.aayahrla she asatak 2,af tf“Taahlat that Pretty 44.4414
Of 00os* T . told -her I va#,A001:a2th.,4t , aud she 1.440 aa*CatC#1*0 that Phat' ola 100
404. Ithit 400..***, 1 was oo4401:004
I*4, 01144 .417 . 140,241,40,4 have 4 444 44:-2 1'4 on the line with her booms* I volunteered..
0000 004'411 ,4444', 00 40$140,4 00.4 2 get up at ata in the'lligratOCOMI.4044.141 tat 4.044 4114i004 -the more I got 2 tiara Swatch* more 1114000.100000
all tOottahatia0000t-aaa I,a0014et takerAtfieraore'eaf-Iihefferi-that
Stay that r went 2 406:L00 $01411. 2, tall her, By this
I had always told
at that.taa:a7A*4tle :Plthaost 0 Sr. S0 41,4/4
4'444 she had * tataOttt ..00± tal0.
*ea 2 work r 04.* her 004 / was like
!us 2no140 ..0-obout Aelekh24$40Poro.
P0 She arall vorhfai in the 4t0Oelfikallar,* at this time wherethati/eaaAkalll Of nobody
tha,401-0 that thoria0earo.aae,, 200_14ta Cora 14 the.0hal larr with SIAM tight now and oet,W,ha,: 020 2 eta. Are is ol.rto044° 44,4 11410" and ./41101102
tetiatthoakaiXarY aatIreif.O.101$ SOO,h00 414 X aarClite 40Atahattt r ha at that we mat
in her. hat I gotta get taltalf-Of ‘ arahaato natia.f tlattlat are all that rim been
thinking about, 00a04.1- ivittiall X Suet SO till! 4 4,41014 00 I 400 finally see
11 4 When ii leatt wookIJOA14,000 *#41,1-404 botol 0014.40144 - '0004,4,4L4;soo port*
414444-44044 -I 0040:*
A*444.001mi ii#40301%11*-4441i0 and I
400444404:11444 the mere 40444:004 2 hear aitha more beautiful u heeetiiaa#:14:! knew
it I was love eithl i°:10A :_lOoked a* tn.JOAO* and T said "Yes,!'. in lave eith,u
and I *Au l t idoip.wilkinintrnOlietheie and being around u 44.“94taii lihenot: 1240aat
a and r shad 2 Mei- WOO feel about thatta, *Oar $0,40*".44614, or Oat rap out of
my Wary and tell ea-U14,0 t feel the net, • 00 laid Wow!0
4010 . alot at4: X*Oat ,4044..2 24a and act like I don't feel eaeatbiag
bates us but 1 - -04af-O * understand that thla.41,07 Jah 04.01 a li ana mother *alai
eare of
daughters by myself and I oted ;* 2 I...not that, V said slot luatiowead
X aea4 u 2 giro ea saiertlei 2 - praistoroveilthiag end wet II talk later okay?". I said
!Okay I can respect that" and we
out of the ikolierY4*Othaalitot 2 my toll that after,.
R. k kSofJ
noon / was enli sted ! I .WAO so happy and I felt Lloa,/,_
had just got removed
from MY should've.; couldn't he lp _3m
off by telling her all
that at one time but I was li se fedi it te a done now and he ball
is i n her court. I
went theta there the next day and she told me that she needed 2 *Peak 2 we eft* sea*
I automatically assumed the worst 444 left b4 work ended. When I want 2 the It/taken the
non day she was bet! She pulled Se 102 the baker? and was 111cc "U tell me all of theme
kanatifid things about how u feet about ma. and / go home and decide 2 give u a chance
wren though I'm *cared seta just walk out of here festevatnithout even talking 2 401
What's the matter with ur* I smiled and said *I g ot scared 404 thought u was gone tell
me that u don' t feel th e same way I feel about U. ti n sorry and u right I abOntda l t have
did no sat *hit like that and t ‘ eptiogine beauti ful*. ;hen I /00ne d is2 her eyes and stepped closer 2 her and said 'to a- ggeadtrive at a theent.huh?" 4 -,04 said "teahibut u don't
40MOWS0 it" and smiled. I said "And who do?". She amiledipaid "that up!" andyolked
behind he r s The no
004-00 and wen t out the deer with mer S
7-$"4410 she was in the skull**.
ttit I S punk in there an d put thaPlee: tiP loe "Selleie in Sa- 140l4tof her Jacket. She
read' it and cae
day and said *0 bate not be writing Ito other , girls the stuff
u write me" and
4 my anawat«,.''
X held her hin d and said *re never going 2 lie 2 u. tes t i be hollering at itther chicks.
The are chicks that ; was hell:Sri:6g at he I met u but I girl, u ay word as i 440 that
don't write them anything that t write u and vice variorahat-I feet 4 a is different
-at I fool 4 them and I Aoki can understand thet"0"aw her getting jedens and
don't wenn* talk about that right adv. I just *anted 2 know n . The neat day
her this poem titled distant Cover that blew her mind and here it tat
n *ter allow a stranger- -.
in the places ye last lover gigot 2?
don't be offended by ay words Bergson*
only aim is . 2 please u
re me if I flit reach tut
Jai 2 careint - ye . heautifql face
0*- Sam* iiiya mist and tick ye lips
jail see he* your kiss would taste
hygitia want u 2 just relax
and allow me 2 undress ye mind
U don't have 2 'retry about as missing *4 spots
*Canis I matte . / will take 4* ties
I **at u 2 breathe deep and trust ye instincts
*0 theirs no reason 2 tall ye friends
PISS feel free 2 drop pa guard with me
bosh** I'm not like moat• men
I weet2 explore every Pert of u
and altos all of re fantasies 2 ream free
I' hsos that *that' men have touched u
but they iill never temper...2 me
let me let a geed look at u
lad kin all of the places I tonna touch
Wt. t **am mike lore 2 .ya mint
saYbor lois other night wit h get 1 fuck
Weald it be cool if I nibbled on ya' ears
than slowly tongue kissed u on ye l nett?
fideies'i;gently eaye collarbone
be I sulked softly on *e breast
agits as
if I impart ye brig
and eintitiee 2 give u more
W intst moan is tthe a signal
apatite re*Pinte
kiss, .0towice
So I'U
and lick ye
vette I flatly torus below ye
Thea epee the OhOrs between ye Viighs
as I Sea in 2 get a taste
Listening 2 u toil
wood g se ;ia ye **bri e. 4.jr•s4 is 1
0041 Ord tofaceaf4t irt
ties that cam never
tMomuse a
Thee 1 . 11 eater tea the gates
as a snow me 44•90 tn2 Y4* 1
In fAff Mint a finally Mail the fec
that ii sitaideve been set 00.1hte
The So4.140 will o iler Pe 2 look in2 ye *Yoe .
Wie X , aas that y our reactions are
MOIS C X 4Sit that Xl iais **TOW
. 4M*, Lank S is taiol Y 2 tell u I ‘ 10YU u
hear are guiding my ' swill stroke
the ,somset that I falser
ci ty a have fell in love with a thug
"mod it's Jest 2 Lite 2 take it boot
k p.
iony hoer it'll be our /004 agent
heat that I %wet Olt epithet.
* SSW eefe at da y cetaihnt
l eg as 2 he ye wait distant lover"...
She tame in the tent day and as soon as she sew *soh, pulled„ 'me ; the side and
had my oimoy am set last night that. I played with er a
I said !law ivies
me some skit likir:thst and have my dick all IffrAtlig.41
She said
* 2 terh this weekend 140 .14,114L_AhKfrostori X said "How am X . maing 2
I win -
and ;,
got the waked off?”. She -Sid. rastiee r sanntost ii already se lust , he dour hare this
in and walked off and three that Itiee us agate.
_ I iust . ehpak my head and was like
wase down there that weekend and ; :., lted Lout int_ak, mow suit. :11*-greopo was all the
vor in
heat of thekitehen. Wellany$ : t had ; 4.14 . 00:1- put 441 of ,theei boxes: inhere
and rwas sweating like a aleno She told me 3 pat 3,0 . ,aesat2t4 hetet in a . tmarner and
I did. X noticed that her 'Seekers, bad red pa* on thee and , X told hek:Zieitridantati
one if the boxes that was on the aide, enekehe:44„ , Sho, sett down and said 'What are a doing
14?“. I said "Bold ten eat' Wee:tient; got a pile of dry saki*: and X 'wet a washcloth I
and and kneeled down in :front of her and pnt her C*Oti t0 -41-4,
Ate*nt cleaned all 02 the
red paint.eff . of her sneaker with thai.ffinkra010„40,044atth.:theMaildttne.44414.the
mom 2 the ether sneaker and whne-.2 1405:44inesinfieatiCISOW..04,m04**14-,,Ohat stows*
body: env Wes I toohai-her in Sr eyes
0400-72 doOliccreisoemhea.mbeyllele.1
only care *heat whew') feeine. Pha-esid' uSaeldee thm,freeneebor se apb edY44*. OS* in
hire and COMO bean * By iSitZ time I 4t4,- that cad .,atee -beatnik** laying earn* the tett
baits she told 4" 2 Put 2: thaSidt. -Ottb keg le***14t,:ereti*Snd her pietas dowi. theo
costs anti up so
.0!*.91:04fr -$14- 1,(4
at 1100J044 "
Sr lugs
flea enwith
he thaw
call 40"11
counar. . She didn't
2 tell : Mil'intine:Sed lifter we fucked I was
officially in love tut puny vis-0. 0i440,4 A1421.144,i61 to Soler Of kept Mosia*
La ay air "Take ye s pussy! Peak me like it** purer and b4 I ;Sew . it X came deep inside
of Mr*
R •NIA-c ktok)
A Marty was on paint that I was tuck ing . ç because of howwe used 2 slwilic
inn POP bade 40_000P -lateriahrlalle4JOALte_00„0440 one daitand SA S like
, attaa 4 4 doing what u *append 2 04.dflos • but iii tOk
said "Whit italkiit
bete' coner. He said"OhOwno don't gotta atilt it but I know a fucking the 'lil t darkskia
chit* and 2'm proud of u.I Just OCO"i Want u 2 Sit- caught up and have these -sagas sot
yell nP dings it's *lot of tits **Ithaca that -want her and She know it aod'if-they find
out u lathing, her and that 04oi t.i.thon that *bit Oft* stere.semethinS i dis met'. I said
*rapt e. SOW looking inia t n Pied its,
We sharstad our ihirup:bni then myoldhaid sent *jitter tasho had wrote me and sent me
this picture of her and she was now thick an hell and was leakin g like a prospect! I always
had * crash on t***4 . 1‘use4 2 steel 'pictures of her right out of hat - hand,Witlieue her
Sian testifies Unite - 44n ialtfl own- so ut h or A igitiing'i gf Sot thick as hetit4he sent
me this flick and r aoitiel tSOOk Oilla v e it was hart So the *sit thin* u know I done'
fell in *re with tasks. We was writing each other and Isli:goil ing her. - T aria win,
*tier* **Wing entebutt . a Picini,' of tasks and shetri*444-tkat joint 40. M y men
0441 was 144kin up in C.1. 2 . 1"* .with..if inn I Main 114 a picture 40 tasks indite couldn't
bitlifta that abs set that thick: 1"4. 1idad u0 heati ng 411 of the 'iiiar,Chatessisrm r Oda
and they sent m* Uthis work rataead0. 0rog rem.1 tolitutebut g and she faid,AdfftwoUld see
ef vitae r pet out emelt her daughter 460t 2 the school that was right across the strait
from WY ',alb I teld/aartijOad datrYi and by the
/ int 2, See t hem tharaild . se that
they 144 beat their twos and would be va luta/1 sioa. They gave me some numbers so t could
400 tits** sin we knigin4 Wiz told is 3 *tat out of trouble and sate some girl* 4 his
and ITU/shed. I told my homie gees that I was out and he Oro me the number : 2 this thick
USW kaiak* that he was halle ri ntat -and said "She already know who' ll is.whati look
roe and att. I let her inns that u fern' though so get at me through bee% tr.010 his
T-tentbraid the snirds'nemaJ and teak me, 2 the resisting teem SO I could get .transferft
Lehi neirit'releasatprestim, It 100 1998.
I got 2 the resisting room and I ran tn2 one of the cats that was involved in the .riot
that happened in 1997 on 02-3 when my man keepan got stabbed and we went 2 war. As aeon.'
ai . hitiaw so he copped a Ilia and said that him and my mas,bratdaa had r talkeCand he told
'breed& that he didn't
have nothing 2 do with it. It made sense because brandoS - addresaftdarerjhody • that wa g involved in that war and if this cat was still walking around the JOI
thanhiandon must have gave him a pass ! Prom the 'filth tali:see program I got sent ; a halfway
house on 10th and brown called t he.fta n dia house. 1.14410:;c1n4i4t:the frainis house ma -"
end Saha pot real tight* J useC2 ,0all her almost e vavY04Yo T:.,O6Ol dn ' t. balitee how smart •
tuba is And how analytical her mind is. T eleba_is 4 Teri laitl,Poisi onete ;caring.and loving
individual. ;Marls no neutral ground with her. Zither abe t s all the way irith . 0 or she's
all the way against u. She holds grodges . stubborn as hell! Sheria,alsiultre
44bOl tiVae I got out of the halfway house and I na iad 2-ain't's* tasha so'/-didn't tell
Mi. I - was walking down her block on my way 2 her house and 11:4eArd somebody say "Oh my 00 My baby home!" and it
tasha in her ear with kadOio i n the passenger seat. Tao*
Pit -out of the car and ran up 2 ed and jumped in my arms and I kissed her. When I let
her down she said "That weak ass kiss! All that shit u was talking on the Ornate. I Just
laughed and tashiciaid "Don't so dawn s outh Phill y late. Spend the night up hart and
Mat *Mil I gat back". /*dare gave me a hag and told me that they missed mai - I told Nonni
that I would stay up there and I'll , wait 4 her 2 come back and her and iodate laft.
I waited for rash* but she didn't come book no time a pen so T west and spun the night
over my grandmother's house. The next morning I called my haste moot and told him . that
I needed 2 holler at himabout.* plall , 1 was tryin g 2 Put 7gether that I needed his bell.
With sad he told mai come right ewer' I ran down . 2 mont crib and I was moving so fast
that I didn't even see tyriek and honey walking op the block 2gether until tyriek was
like "Damn shawn , woit ' s up niggir. I turned around sad saw that it was eyrie* and heft/
and I stopped and bagged him and said white* up 2 honey. While ma and tyrtek was talking**
init named ans pallid up and his and tyriek (started ar guiSSO . knew that this was going
2 get ugly cause while I was in jail tyriak palled a gun on yr and laid him demi on the
stoned and our oldkead short shopped-tyriak from killing him * I ended pp coming hems right,
in the saddle of this shit and niggainknew that tyrisk. Luny brother so I'm with hint regardless. I told tyriek ahead 'end walk off with honeyand I went 2 hiller at "H". Me
always been 02k4,4440A40,4041,P0110.40-040Afet,J, g0t
_ .
- The, e.n ii g e nelletalan
;7 0 . 4 ,v2th u401017# AO,A4C7#1161th,re.AP..40h]sr*O
00 . 00,004 ,now be sting like olt.,00.07,70104 tared:040 and started cowing back
ht t* .h1".t.Oh i eh tehe llitie,Peett that 40$0. • 144let,..1, heerli : him and told the thick11,V...
ine vith.2 get back in the Set and then he pulled a gun out and Went 2 Point it it trick
and I 'fobbed kittliand and *pia him Come on man PS an l ettine u shootmy man. But that
stile nay!". se was like 114.400.7,0fet say nothing when thatnine pulledMeans on
n00. I turned 2 the thick be was withand milk nrotget him out
here shertiandlet
that gun out Of his handtahe.grehbed and put hit ittbattir and they drove away.
/..ealked Over 2 tyrieh andteld'him 2 earl O we+ Honey said that she was going '2 the
141 and asked mej walk her, When she walked off err/oh:0111d Me 2.the side and said
*Sins go at:Seiteet. I said " rialking . ebout beesits , Re Wald'sreihi.11. trw44 ti1 creak:
00s4oltither. So-Wheh we , get::2: the_744 I went at her but X ' oPeldet ito./04C-Twinted
Onicausal !Set att teCted . . 72;:he r :f ihe that. hut Went at and she was like know lim - with-tytiek w andI Pet.left--4eat that * When we cane hack I pulled tit iele 2 the aide
and told him that the shet*S„:40Wa s aaibe_was,happiss.4114Aust . started laughing and
told him he wa s treat. ileina-hiti*hugend went 2 sent eriSeed'ank care of my business
nd then I went back home.
I got back downpeoutkPtilly and when I got in the house I I40 t. /eld'in:10*.bed.enn
fought about everything thet/heOnin happened * I thOughtehinthoi inefir4S4 Se is
.bkenkten) ion o st . I i ttUOUthOhla4. Thea J thO uit e ah4t:el l of the true friends I
A0041 thought sheet t he people thatmade entrificsa:4 snrimeater 0'1901 when Ben
Meat Out of her way 2 Sea visit, iniand tentet ts. She breighk:miehelie with her and
Al* se- SPPY 2 sti 4ieleill i:til.0-44 - 101i 0.10 tight and hienikher:and when we took plant.,
cAideit:Weirt 2 liEmictelle SOYTOM40/14. made 07 . 00* that:dat.ett:i never 4gOi She*
she*444 4 ite 2. thie:40i..,/ Oent:Inalit_telked.1 her 'akent..1I-bUt it touched me cinei
rikaterthet she weildett datha“luat enandi t .cinhallAnrate.nne . iightleite latter
e0t0002. 401* -wgnited meHan g_isalet!vetrood that letter.100_4440* that da y. cause it had elot
Otentensa** i n it 40 i t 404. :. 00 look atelaholle aZotAiretent2 y . I haw that I had
Mideltillin gbet I bed 2 miske*J. lovemiohellabedaesnete..1.,.&inatvemmin with a beautiful
heart but realityis that otivan4 her would've never yock41.90$ term and I sales. ended
'Whetting her to the long tan eindinit4is too Intentif ul.ot . e. person 4 me 2 do tat. I
talkad . With'kenySitt the next datAn d ,1 let hie TWO the letter and he said ',She Oats -
;Sot * see. I said "T knowethaes why r g otta let her' go". At first honyatta looked •
at. me
I was crazy but after I bras in.. des 2 his he got it and fully understood
la*100401Ileh side of ms wanted -2 keep her Around atiesit . I..eas lonely at that time but
the4ttinienis vide of me knarthat-she deserved more f she deserved betterood at that .
liO41- 40UIdn't girt sr 1 her And T g4tegurthpyantimoughLOot_t_b441Lherillank.., $e as
SOOT)ia it hurted-es 2 do'it 0 I never wrote her back or called her sten._ •
In and myman rublaended up getting in2 a shootent on the basketball court on
4th and *orris. I didn't know that this particular basketball court was also the headquarfre
On:lar the.Polima athletic league and cops came out of the building and the tete that
Wa.varahasting at shot at the cops which to/ped ma and rubi ,amehe it 2 the minivan we
dere la* We pulled off and got in2 . 11 chits b y the cops and got surrounded. Agana looked
it rifts and he knew what I was thinking and said ahhonehiwi'Chilli We good°, We get arrest-
ed and the cops found the gees and charged -ea up. They tuak i tun'to'24th and wolf and lucked
00 up cause of one of the tope getting shin at* Mylfamilyint me a paid lawyer and I ended:
Wheats slot of the serious ghergoa but due 2 me heinteatonnty probation for aserious
offense already,the district attorney argued that T didn't learn my : lessens-sod that my'
arts, are progression and I :ehoeld'he sent upstate. ThojUdgflgreed and I was Muttered
to a 2.145 year sentence upstate withtime credited. I gotHetiatspente and this is where .
my whet* life changed at. I geiTe , u some intricate piece; of life iitthia section of
the book so a toad see what type of individual that . I was b4 I went upstate* I knee that
slot of people that thought that they knew me who are now reading this book and sells*
lecithin they -really didn't know me at all. The y only knew the me that I put tants nithom 2 sea but they didn't know the real me. But here's the crazy part-tither-did
1-enesseed a quote by Noble Draw Alt that said "A soldier niter really knows his true
strength stilt, is face -2 face with his foe". All of my -life I had been at war with something or somebody and I never really understood where all of this rage end courage MOO
Q. J'ccktoA)
in this
/ west. 2 start this sec tion of f
yell onto tit
:::bo *pi
ti ids. I
ma soda
my . Color
102.00 2 As: atitiony, and misery
Black Stirityt••• •
I. Itt disbar,. in 199.1‘ . /; . getienet, 2 Wstoitamfott state prison
• for . poneMemingt I lint,newer
been '2 a Sava; Lik e this in my 14fe,,; ,:± , bittandialot of my oldhea ds_tetk Stoat going upstate
a , Placa and seeing it 4.
no story that could capture the senate of this ttts,eVetptit14444
imagined being 4410c
_ , *.
440014044000.J. got diked
ty*re..4ck:Lu. Yatt, YOUr' body shipped?".
At:first.X didn't mei& know hov2 answer'question. r ctri44, ;ts• I ho':$4.;oints4-04u
'eoment now she was g o tng . 2 sattle and any thatshe was
but that 4tveg.f
; ask no :ticed the confuàton in my lest, and said quati an
aren ' t 404cattOt...2 make 14 :(044 It 44.
*1001.0:c01: cuallatstaadinit and
kijiesis4 I was *Fik; 045 on my 441k ants anon an
"Wit /Cgs lack the boyl .1bortshatin,up as Beta as, these
be waiting . wben ii gat , , and Out parmaitittatent laugh• 11/0214 (Wet TIP% I said ing no said Ifait ii Jan got tenr. :t I toeite4-aetit a was my .$44-11.0 Jaeal "Spook".. Sanders.
R told him "Yeah" and he said "I'll bottat , at it later on". got 2 my cell which was the
her the information, that ' sbe
I was wa lking Atiinv the tier I heard
Ian 00.11 on the -tint and the tier :nee' toms as itett, It was like two streetMichelins,
2siftliet•, I tot in my tail and my pelty introrice4 it,iiineit as Dee. Henan from notth.r.tly
and no eitight,', As soon as / got my sZf nepnidtott anTiP .:440 &Min on ay hilnkeleitittind
the bell 4 ails go . off and all Of our eat!: Opal* mon opened. t(got: in line and printeded2. Pala e v er y bod y Z the diem hell. 2 sat, I gni , 2 the One- batt and ran hnigie ;tall
and we started talking, and he cciadi!,, that he net on my:ifinah ,l ana 3 mon* 2 the yard. On
the *17 out of the -t hew han:-.Liika inZ my brother.1700 ii4d / IRMO hitso lanitininthhh
that the am p s even told me.2 /et:hAtittole,1010-Mt ataihiltitt. this time and it tt#.
• Ovum ttiit *ice* .Within ame nth )1044400 ,1110 0:0.14*t itcr. gem prEtiteitrit as*,104Plabell
alighteah 000, tfatertnt4iIin had ttil !vintOttei144.A44*04;.:Atmutt! 2 iiimatitIve44
wattliA411 of an expailintAS440 Ortvgb..Whe0.41 octiiifiV-Atuovt d,routa. 164014,6*
this Mat and I was spewing_ more and more frustrated 'attic oath day at how defitimaniting
we were being treated,
Wse4 2 play caritichmes;mittot'.nvoitiot 1181E-:the phone• t had been there Stites months at
R f jAck104)
. .
One day at demos adt iritYtilet_uP 04,41.0...800. wi t hout:reig n* sY head and Setting
Pauttosiolf It IsiOs elo named 41.0. wo rki0141.09.0tete. kite* wo Cook was one of
those words that just liked 2 dierseolet - u *cause be could. If he thought that u were
afraid 2 go 2 the hole or u werogreid of getting wrote up and given a misconductshi
go out of his way 2 fuck with u. He tried his hest 2 intimidate people. He saw= get up
and said "Jackson/M u t dayroom'is over! Take it beck 2 your gill!" and tried 2 teak 2 me
lihn I was his shi Writerned around sod Said "I don't give a fuck about ye' diyrooml
I vis going 2 itY uSfl anyway". He triedi walk up on me bar 40.1 and a few of my other
bemtes stood up and he backed up And said "Give me your ro41!..1 threw it at him and went
2 irr cell. They terminated (*CPO' about a . hour liter and everybody had 2 lock in there
cells 4 the night. At 9t30pm mr ... O.11499 v not bussed open.and . I hoard the sergeant get on
the intermit and ssy stusst S4S0hioo!DT-9203 . plonse renal" k ali bubble". At this time
my all y wows, man Andre "Big:Ore, Piebryde. As soon as we heard that he said "Tea'a Cade
with Yew* They 890 try 2 foot 11 :00Sn•I' m coming wi th 0ing I said 410104,20t this amain
Wiw i pro wasett rYne hoer none of tha t* We had some 00 Seuron sehneiPOS in our sell
one Of
and / Wok them and-orelped.them,around my body and I pull*e of my shirts on
dOe's big shirts and I -did the same with my jeans. Whilii*e- ass getting teeth' hurried
0 and hot out of the cell and 0 140".4 the door * Ore wisilikl,"Why the fuck u do that?
Thia oriikar" Met W1014$ in 000 SOus ta inal ft * I 84001. 40put 2 see the board and
go home meal I got thist".end walked off. The whole time that we was tellies/011 dry talked
40eS t was getting home 2 his ki4i‘AMeiloved his kids and he was a good, father so / didn't
went that on my conscious thet4 was the reason why he couldn't get home 2 his kids.
,I sot 2 the bubble and the guard there told me 2 go down the steps 2 the sergeant. I
down the flops and sow c/o cook and the ser g eant standing next 2 the doer whore
elevator is at* It was like aflire escape room. They celled ma in there and when I
ed is there I noticed that the elevator door was open. / walked 2 thee and the sergeant
:"Se you're 4 tough goy huh?" ' I didn't say anything and he continued "What if t Utak
OSAt have c/o cook here . say u assaulted me And we throw your ass down this elevator shift?"
and he started smiling at do cook. I got mad end said " Rid Yell call nui dew* here 2 talk
or are we gone gat busy?". The sergeant's smile left off of his face and he changed his
Stale approach. Hs said "Jackson listenowe can't have u J ust getting up out of your seat
in the deyroom without permission or everybody will be errin g it * If u used softhish*Jult
WA a/o cook and we can help is but we seed u 2 follow the rulosegan u do that?. I didet
lawn these two clowns and asked them were we done. They said we were done and I went
back up 2 my cell and told dre and he started laughing herd as hell at those two punt faking
ails Beards * After that I cover raised my hand or asked them 4 shit! I looked in there eyes
And I saw pass their hate. I looked in their e y es and I iSsw whit they tried 2 conceal*
2 saw their furl 2 yeas loiter 2 g ot sent 2 the the tarot prison in the state. I got sent
24raens county correctional facility. There were guys at camphill that were putting In
4.060itions not 2 go there and was telling me 2 do the same but I didn't. In the winter
of 1908 I got sent 2 greens County*.
I-2ot 2 vane county and my first day there I SSW just how different this tail was from
other jails. Me and five other prisoners were sent there. One of the prisoners was a prisoner named little nee who Bdr vaPed by another Prisoner at camp hill at 2 o'clock in the morning, He tried 2 stay close 2 me Scads* when we were at camp hill I wouldn't let nobody
bully him but I told him that he bad 2 start standing up 4 himself or people would prey
on him * We got sent to &block and the c/es name was misick. He assigned us 2 our cells
and I got put in 34 cell next 2 a adhead named Eric fl-Han I" Rabat from north philly.
This 'Oldhead Changed my views onslot of things and he taught mealot of things * My telly WAS
• Ricardo "little Rico" peoples fromPittsburg. I got.elotnf love 4 little rico. We
were put in a room in the back of the c/o's desk and , givincmnrorientattonand roles of
the unit. After that we went back to our 4444 and waited 4 the call 2 mainline. Ivorything wont smoothly that day and MO and rico stayed up all ni ght talking about the
streets. The next mains that we got back from eatin g breakfastaitwas a different
guard working on the block. This guard jest was fucking with everybody and trying
2: write everybody up. It was a guy who went 2 another prisoners cell 2 get some rolling
the guard told his 2 give it 2 him or he
POsr 4 his cigarette and once 144110tit
-laiSed it anda;t1-1:346kSij
Sat t lavr tiallinLOCOngsisfitok,maktng a.00 laat out of 4 444411411
end threatened the eVei&e - erieeme0, 40#40 treeel4 MVOS 1444ar Set* Ithreatened
with n °40000610t or begOL OMAt 4 theA0144thaf *0411i But green. Caantt-**aborehhersant all of the worst guys it the state onkel and at 19 roar* old this is where they
Sees 2 send ma.
The guy walked up 2 the d al* hinds with a !1St head that folded him up like a
beech chair and put him on his ass. The c/o . get back up only 2 be pummelled again and
Olin. By tho time the reePOP se. 44 got on the Walk 2 *tithe c/o and restrain the
ROMOneg o the 0/0 was nosOniiii0dO and blinding from the h ead refuitlYs Mt Oldhesd MimMan
CIS 044 of his cell. Said "That's what that c racker Betir More teem mead 7 get fucks*
00 and theft 's' 1.044 44* tucks. alone! We 44 014 444 a haat aP and hurt our an kind but
time Igo* against the whi t* Oanre He looked at as and
We 64400* O us0441YMban it'a
Continued w foungla r if any of these davits get out of liiirwich..79u srau bust that fucking
441114. slum way that you was hurting lat Osu hind on theilittrietsi you di the** devils
be lame way! They don't fiat:MO440hial passes cum' tberMiatt.iiwina none of us no tucking
piesaif That devil got bast half-2'44th and I guarantee you that he won't flick with angth#
af *tithe flats!* * I took in everything that my alibied had fast droPOod ' Oede but ay
turned to 114440 and was like wi ain't fuckin g 44 144r4:404111
$444 444 7 out of they %firs t A4410 leashed and sait "gausaini it ain't no such thine as
staying out of tbitAlevils=oa y . The only thing that that respect is violence. You got triple
114.44* you in one of the most racist Pri sons 4o s ither*.Sone be * manor s casualty'
PO : Yie history teanginstaaibady that ever used diplomacy with these Peaple.thel conquered
thee. I'm not telling you 2 1 ..11;st-s tart tucking sa ardi0P.I'm telling You, * perpetuate
lame Vielsntathat ,tOu diehAtut:2 Yal broths 2 them!". Rico got itAnd-we talked
t it all night until we
fell soiaaP4
oqt two weeks lettat I wont 7 chick up on little $40o Illey , h
put him in the cell'
th. is Parte clean cat Wha,804 didn't want 2 star to there but I told him 2 suck it
up cause ths PuottO riiii,cat stayed 2 himself. He ended'ap-soving in with this oldhead
44t that said that he know some of gee family. r went 2 the cell and knocked on the side
ef, tha'dior cause the call deor ' esa. closed. but unlocked end it was a sheet curtainup.
414- 1 knocked on the d oet.seme other, oldhead tame from around the curtain and he was
Mad Ciaiel toadied on the WI ' door, He was like "What u want Y onni inri I said "First
akenlif .ain't yet younitnI Where solar, He sailed and said "He bus y right now*. 1"
said *tat him know tha t tib ia cams through 2 check. on him". He said urn lot ion know"
and pulled the *attain shut. MO and rico vent 2 chow and when we come back the block was
locked down. I asked what witiming.on and found out that goo het been takei2 the hospital
*044 be sat raped by ;hop, oidheade. I was hot! I knew something wasn't right and I
. file t have never leftuntil I so his foie and made *ors that he was alright. Gee
WOO cos y after that a nd stayed in the h ole 4 the rut of his time upstate. I told my
010440 &eon and ;kola him t_wnetad 2 get the aldhsedt,thet.dtd that 2 gee and Yeoman
4401 *faunal& I know you feel some type of way about that but this is n jungle and only
the strong survive. The yoitg.barl allowed that 2 happen and he didn't even put up 0 fight,
414 *lit fight 4 another:mea l s-manhood if he just giving it awa y . This is 'Often and
we are all 41$114 fassit's a bad . thinubet thee* not ys' fight. I got a book that / want
you 2 road youngis end tell me what you think about it".flo wsen vent in his cell and oils
ban Out with the eutobiagraPhy. of Wevnue Boatel* Garrity.,
I. pod this hook and it opened my mind 2 a whale diffikent element of education. I had
100tved how 2 sell drugli.loaraed how 2 hurt my peopiessealdeitroy my community And neigh.
bOahiedinat I never /earned . haw 2 rebuild ay community or how 2 love my black rate unconditionally. Marcus Garvey had an altruistic unconditional love for our bleak race and ell
lie wanted was 4 us 2-stop depending on the whit* men 4 everything and start depending
on ourselves and each other. 4 was tired Of us being co-dependent on our enemy in order
2 take care of ourselves and our families. But we foil kip*, Oppressors tricks end west
against bte and accused him of crimes he was not guilt)" Of and Iola focus of the Hirai
gaiter*. Us wand 2 show:sothat us as 0 people can do Whatever we put our minds 2 without
she help of the whitetail-rife wanted us 2 see that we came from greatness and royalty Sas
through our veins end the only people that we need 2 believe in is us.but we have been
so poisoned by ouiroppreasers meutecidtng that we have 4aotten what and who we ate. I
was going 2 writs his up. The prisoner told the do flit he
it be 4,44
read that book about thrget.t4Sekna0 it created 0_43,_ineticef_000 confused rage that
I didn't understand or knee,hia.3-nente911:,
lave that book backtto-4410044 and then he gave se the reafeesions of nat turner 2 re
and it only intensified ATImmpe . that'was already there. After reeding net turner's tot
*AAA twisted / kilt a whitnentsan y whitemens The *en morning after reading that book,whoe
I cam* back from breakfast I env c/e ‘Alnic fucking with ay broths on the block and I went
and Asked the broth. was he marte hthOct a/o einick told me that I didn't have nothing
2 do with it cod I needed . / 10 . 2 ercell be lgot wrote eDgenCsent 2 the hob*. I knee, .
that If I let him threaten me with
. : him that he didn't have
hole and I ilidetylehne
nothing that I feared at his 4iSpemel then I woad be a elgeV e and he would . always bold
Being 2 the hole over my head. So IHtOld hie "I don't give- a fuck about going:2 the hole
And I'm not going nowhere pussy! Make met and I got to his gate, 2-man saw what had hemp»
cel l lellegiaillY hi s t ell,' big halatvited a few of MY haslet and
ened and ran oust of
little rico CAA out of their cells andnowt out there wiliktmsk!Uppn seeingthis,o/o minick
changed his eignaech elg aS when be leaked in m7 flee kONAKOO fear so he knee that the
hole threat Ma tt Pint 2: 410Sette 'ma. So he used 4 44004 On4-Mait"Jeckaonsies early
the morning and 'garbs We get%offen the wrong feet. I to willing 2 let: Oleo if saerY"
7 Pat Clear " the 4"7"0"71 l etOPte d 2 . take it somewhere stem but my-ellihMed liftmen
a*? give a sucks.° !el out", It made sense
POW me 2 the Aide and said "Tan
seijnet walked away and went ie .eltaell, After that X never:* a problem on of csio.
X Over trusted him or an ether whttemen after that SO once read in the book that
ismag ners ma titled The afrienn,holonauattthet the pilgrims had a fake pens treaty
the Petite americans and gave them all Keehn') for the winter 2 keep them -earm as a taken
used the blankets they caught small pox and Ott
-414404/ and *flaw, native americans
:.hheat died tate 2 that disesseis-S0 when I dealt with any whiteout X looked Hain
eye and I epike . witb confidence and 2 °eversion backed down f romthem. The oldate44
on the streets in my hood never tiger me this tYPO of education. The oldheeds In in Mpg
wart running from the availed fairies the whitener's I started looking at them as tenths
and rlest reflect 4 them and their pusstlanimoas teachings, 1 was now bid, S tage Maher
edehetiOn on being A blockage and I would Delon leek at l ife the same after , thie, I kept
reeding and educating myself and I stem! 2 myself, I looked at peons and Il f* in A elgo4
lege- fersPettlm i lHdotided tha t it was time 2 get PT Wand, further my education. I had
ddeSe4 Out of school and mined el street diploma but , covi as a man I had 2 get the
4000 that counted.
..1 , 40101iO4 4 my W and e tith n months later I got it, t then aired up 4 an !dreamed computer aided draftin g cloak I had got my basic certificate 4 drafting when X went 2 glen
mat* int„I wanted 2 further it and get my advanced certificate so I could always have
something 2 fell.bach en. I.e°4001 .404etting it and then X *le the parole board and TenShe jail recommendation and on January 17,2000,1 was paroled 2 A home plan with my
as ta slab philIp. 1110 litrie t, would he the ultimate teett4.10 Ol d I began my ant phase
in this Jenson of life, twin 2 begin and * pen eP nittniheee. eit4 throe of my Poems
titled "My shoses sFiscocinesend "Lest breath". These are three of the poems that I
Witte -after reading and studying with my oldhaad 2-men for 2, years. I hope
. _ that you lode!
"Imagine living in poverty
and having nowhere 2 run
While arise looks like ye only escape
from the barrel of a loaded gun
MY skin is my sin
SO misery is my bast friend
At night I humbly ask 4 GOD
2 icing this 2 it's final end
NO AAA understands my pain
My shoulders are sore from the pressure
The world is convinced that I te crazy
magi sty frees is my friendly gesture
I en ell alone on this earth
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on the day that 2 take my lest brosth",.ki
I west 2 the streets with Spain. on my shoulder and r evenge in my heart 4
thug slept on me, I wanted revenge 4:ell of the acemIde that sot out on
40onsor that perpetrated like they were men but wore really sinsksi. I didn't di no, amiliag
with nobody and I Onl y let sr guard dela around tut* * ;elven the may one that I trusted
es them straits or send about outside of ay family and *14 Mungin Lou Diamonds. I had
nothing but revenge and death in my heart 4 these eats. My heart had hardened and the
door 2 my soul was shut, I had it in my head that first I would punish these cowards with
the hands and then I would turn it up from there. I was doing some boxing upstate due
2 my oldhead teaching me and I felt destructive and was looking 4 victims.
One night it was me,my homie Harold "Sleep" murray,and his cousin lawanda in one car
and Pam,her. brother Phil and his chick in another car. Phil chick did some dumb ass shit
and me and her got 2 arguing. Pam jumped in it and started arguing with me and then phil
got in it. Sleep had his gun on him and asked me what wabitand that he could hit phil
up and just go back down north philly. Lawanda wanted 2 Pam agp.but I had just came
home and I didn't want 2 get 2 the gun play yet. Plus,I love Pam and as much as we argue,I
can't hurt her and I know that if sleep hit phil up he would've had 2 hit pam up cause
she wasn't just going 2 stand there and watch that. I told them 2 chill and lawanda got
so mad that me and her started arguing in the car cause she said that Pam ain't have noth ing 2 do with it but I told her that this is how me and pam is so just chill. Sleep didn't
care about none of that shit and was with whatever I wanted 2 do. I calmed everybody down
and sat back in the car seat and just looked at Pam. I was thinking 2 myself if only she
knew how much love I got 4 her. She stopped a massacre from happening 2nite and she didn't
even realize it. She was so used 2 the old me that she didn't know that I'm on a whole
different vibe now.
We left and I went home and went 2 sleep. The next day I went 2 see my parole officer
and report myself 2 my district because I was convicted of a crime that involved a firearm
and the police asked was they going 2 have any problems out of me and I told them no.
A week after that somebody got shot up around the corner from where my mom now lived at
on 18th and tasker and the police came and locked me up until I gave them my .whereabouts
and that I wasn't the shooter and knew nothing about it and my alibi checked out. A few
weeks after that tyriek came out and we got 2gether. We discussed our plan and I told
him that I'm not fucking with none of these cats cause they suckas and I don't trust them
and he agreed with me and said that he needed me 2 chill so we can walk this parole shit
off and not get locked back up. The next week I found out that my homie mont had got rolled
on by some cats that lived on fayette avenue while I was locked up and they had fucked
mont up bad. Even though mont didn't write me when I was in jail,I still cared about him
and loved him so I couldn't let that ride. On my way there I ran in2 my youngin "One arm
don", When he was younger I used 2 have him up under me cause I liked the youngtn. He
Was in caddy Jeep and asked me was I alright and if I needed anything not 2 hesitate
2 ask. I told him that I'll keep that in mind and I went 2 mont crib and asked him what
happened with the situation with the eats& fayette and he told me how they rolled on
him, Chuck and steve was there and I told them 2 come show me who these cats is. We got
around fayette and stave showed me the cat's crib that stole mont and swole his eye up.
I knocked on the door and his sister came 2 the door. She knew exactly who I was and why
I was there b4 I even said anything and talked 2 me through the door. She said she wasn't
letting her brother come out and I said "cool". I told steve and chuck 2 find the biggest
rocks they can find and some bottles and they did. We threw the rocks and bottles at the
house and busted all of their windows out. The brother came 2 the window and I pulled
him threw it and we fuqed him up. His sister was hollering and they mom said that she
was calling the cops so busted a empty beer bottle across the brother face and left him
there and we left.
Mont was mad as hell! He was like "Why you go and do that shit? Now they gone come around
here with the cops". I said "You should've took care of it b4 I came home and I wouldn't
have to!" and I left out of his crib and walked 2 tasha crib.
I knocked on tasha door and she asked who it was and as soon as I said it was me she
opened the door and said "Oh my god! My baby home!" and hugged me real tight. I looked
in her crib and saw some curly head cat with glasses sitting on her couch. She closed
the door and came on the front porch with me and noticed my look and was like "That's
my boyfriend". I smiled and she said "Shut up man!" and started laughing. I told her that
she looked good and she asked me was I staying up here 2nite. I told her I was and I'll
see her 2morrow. She said "You better man!" and hugged me and I left and went home.
I woke up the next morning and I called my homie mont and told him that I was on my
way over there and I needed him 2 take care of something 4 me and I hung up. I took a
shower,got dressed,and went over mont house. When I got there he just looked at me and
shook his head. I said "What's up?". He said "You don't gotta fight my battles 4 me man.
I thought about what happened and I know you are just looking out 4 me but you gotta let
me handle shit myself. I'm not donny nigga",and we laughed. He was referring 2 a time
when donny was younger and I had left my little brother with mont and rasheed cause I
had jumped in the new taurus wagon that my homie devon had just bought. Devon came through
the block looking 4 me as soon as he bought it. I was on tasha steps with her brother
moot smoking weed and drinking. I had a switchblade that I had just got and I was playing
around with it when devon pulled up. I got in the car and we drove off and devon took
me 2 this crib up wadsworth avenue that these 2 sisters lived at. He was fucking one of
the sisters and put me on the other one named ebony. We ended up fucking and I fell asleep
only 2 be awakened by devon telling me that it was time 2 go. Ebony gave me her number
and we left. By the time we got back around 2 tasha crib 4 devon 2 drop me off ,only donny
and my homie mont was sitting on her steps and donny had his head down. Devon pulled off
and when I walked up 2 donny,my homie moot said "Rhonshawn I ain't have nothing 2 do with
it!". I didn't understand what wont was talking about until donny lifted his face up and
his eye was swollen. I went in2 a rage and said "Who did this 2 u?". Donny looked at me
with tears in his eyes and said "Bugsy did it". Bugsy was the brother of my man oodie
from off of 76th and ogontz. There older brother muse was like a older brother 2 me too
but all of that went out of the door when bugsy touched donny. I looked at mont and said
"This nigga did this 2 my little brother and u let the nigga make it off of the block?".
Mont just stood there quiet. I looked at donny and said "Where he at?". He said "He just
walked around the corner". I said "Come on". As soon as I made it around the corner and
bugsy saw me he took off running. I pulled the switchblade out and chased him until he
jumped on top of a car roof and was yelling "Rhonshawn I'm sorry man! He came at me though!
Donny tell him!", I said "Pussy you older then my brother and u know how 2 box! Come off
the car and give me a rumble!". He wouldn't come off of the car and I turned 2 mark bazemore who was standing there and base was like "I ain't have nothing 2 do with that shit!".
I told bugsy "The next time u put ya hands on my brother I'll kill you!" and walked off.
I told donny 2 come on and I felt bad that whole day. That was one of the times that I
felt like I let my litle brother down by not protecting him. After I took donny home,I
walked up the block 2 devon house and told him that I needed 2 talk 2 him about something
and he told me 2 hold up so he could cut his tv off. When he came outside I punched him
in his face and whooped his ass until his uncle came out and pulled me off of him. His
uncle asked what this about and I told him "Ya'nephaw came and took me 4 a ride in his
new car_and_while_I_was with him my little_brother_got_hurt. He had bad timing",and I
walked off.
I told my homie moot that I understood where he was coming from and I told him that
I needed him 2 call this chick 4 me that allowed her babyfather 2 call up greene county
on me while I was waiting on my parole papers 2 see if she was in on it. He called her
and after I discovered that she wasn't in on it I spoke with her and then hung up. I just
couldn't believe how weak these niggas were in these streets. What type of man goes out
of his way 2 wake up 7am in the morning and call up 2 a prison cause he feels some type
of way about his chick communicating with another man? Weak! I went back down south philly
after I left mont crib and spun some time with my mom. As soon as I walked in the door
she jumped on me talking about "Don't think u gone be running these streets and not kick
it with ya real oldhead boy!". I laughed and said "You right" and gave her a hug and when
I let her go she asked me was I hungry and after I told her that I was,she made me something 2 eat. I ate and went outside on the steps with the cordless phone on my lap. While
I was sitting on the steps,I looked directly across the street from me and saw this house
full of girls. They noticed me looking at them and came across the street and introduced
themselves 2 me, Their names were Lee Lee,Tasha,Nyfeeyah,and the one that didn't come
across the street was Krystal. Me and Tasha got cool immediately cause she was so fucking
funny. I remember one day tasha came across the street and sat on my steps and was like
"Rhonshawn I need 2 talk 2 u about something". I said "What's up tasha?". She said "What
do it mean if u wanna have sex with a guy and he can't get hard? I mean,even after u suck
his dick and all and he still can't get it up? Is it me or him?". I was surprised that she even asked me scime shit like that but I had 2 remember that tasha was 2 real irmorFAIN
so I told her "Listen,it's him. If u sucked it and did everything u could 2 help him out
and he still don't come thru 4 u then that's his fault because u did ya job". She said
"Oh.because ya neighbor". I said "My neighbor". She said "Oh that's right u don't know
him. But ya neighbor right here" and pointed 2 the house on the right side of my house
and continued "yeah,I was horny last night cause my baby father was supposed 2 come through
and fuck me but he never made it so I was scagging". I interrupted her and was like "Scagging? What's that?", She said "Scagging is like creeping". I nodded and she continued "I
was scagging and I told ya neighbor rodney that I needed some dick and I went over there
and my pussy was all wet and juicy too and he couldn't even get it up. So I sucked his
dick and I deep throated him and he still couldn't get it up". I said "Tasha,I'm gone
be real with u. I don't know mainman but I don't know what's up with him cause I would've
bust ye t ass! U got my dick hard just listening 2 u talk about that shit so I don't know
what's up with him?". Tasha laughed and asked 'You just moved down herephuh?". I said
"Yeah,I just came home from jail".
Tasha looked at me and said "4reall My uncle chicken is in jail. What jail was you at?".
I said "Greene county and what chicken is you talking about?". She said "Eric Robinson".
I said "That's my oldhead. Ya' uncle is a good dude and he funny as hell". She noticed
ma looking across the strearand asked "You like her don't you?" referring 2 krystal. I
said "yeah,she beautiful!". Tasha smiled and yelled "krystal,come here!" and put me right
on the spot! I was like "Yo,why you gone just call her over here? You ain't even give
me no time 2 get ready". Tasha started laughing and when krystal came across the street
tasha was like "Krystal this is rhonshawn and he likes you and want 2 talk 2 you". Krystal
was like "is that true?". I said "Yeah" and I got up and Wel ted went 2 the side and talked.
Me and krystal fell inlove immediately and we were up under each other everyday. Either
we were on the phone talking 2 each other or we were hugged up with each other. I'm not
going 2 lie.I love Krystal Pointer. She my heart and when I made love 2 her I told her
that I wanted 2 get her pregnant but she wasn't ready 4 that. I have nothing bad 2 say
about her cause she kept it real with me and she's loyal as hell! I killed what we had
because I couldn't stop fucking other women and I was disrespectful with it and doing
it right in front of her face. Krystal is a woman of respect and she a bad chick so she
not gonna settle 4 no cat that's not treatingher how she supposed 2 be treated and I had
2 respect that. 2 this day I got the utmost love and respect 4 her.
A couple months had went by and I was up my end and saw this chick name keisha on a
bus and she was just so beautiful and sexy 2 me. I approached her and had the raps,I could
not stop talking. I gave her my number and she purposely let me see her throw my number
in the trash. I was het but that only made me want her more! I found out that she had
moved right on my block while I was locked up. She would walk through the block and everybody would break they neck 2 speak 2 her. I used 2 just fall back and sit on the red steps
while she signed autographs. She walked 2 the red steps and was like "What's up rhonshawn?
U can't speak?". I was still mad at how she had just tossed my number in the trash so
I was like "New". She said "okay,fuck you then!". I said "What?". She said "You heard
me.Since u wanna be rude,fuck u then!". I had never had a mutha fucka talk 2 me like that
besides pamela sergeant! I didn't know who this chick was but she was turning me the fuck
on! I just nodded and let her walk off. A couple weeks later me and my homie mont was
in the deli on the corner of my block and keisha and her girlfriend renee walked in. I
had ordered a chicken wing platter and was waiting on it. Keisha came in and spoke 2 mont
and just looked me up and down. I smiled and shook my head. I asked mont what was up with
her and he said "Oh yeah,' 4got 2 tell u that me and her is talking". I said "talking?
about what?". He said "about us and if she one be my girl". Mont is my homie but keisha
is way out of his league and that's sot doing no hating. I noticed keisha by herself and
went and slid up on her. She had on this guess jean set that hit every curve on her body
and she was buffy the body thick!
I approached her and I asked "How long , are we going 2 do this?". She said "I don't know,
that's up 2 u. You the one warms get a attitude and not speak." I said "Can we start over
then?". She said "Yeah,we can start over". This time I kept my rap 2 a minimum and I even
complimented her and made her smile. She said "Write ya number down again 4 me". I was
like Jamie Foxx on the movie players club when he gave lisa raye his number in the parking
lot. I gave my number 2 keisha and I was like "yeah,this is my mom number,my grandmother
number,my social security number" and keisha was like "Damn!". Me and ketsha ended up
getting real tight! Keisha is my heart and one of the first females that I ever opened
up to and trusted. She is a hell of a woman! We used 2 talk on the phone everyday and
she used 2 keep me out of trouble. She would hear my name come up in something and call
me 2 her house and be swinging on me while I got guns on me and everything. She would
be like "Give me a box". I would grab her and just start kissing on her 2 calm her down.
I remember the first time I ever kissed her was like magic. With one kiss she removed
all of the pain in my heart. I'm thinking back 2 this one time when we had first started
messing around and I did some dumb ass shit and had a chick that I was fucking call keisha
back not knowing that it was her calling me. I had spun the night over this chick named
ronnie crib and we woke up that morning,fucked,and I got in the shower. While I was in
the shower keisha paged me and ronnie came in the bathroom and told me that somebody had
paged me and put 911 behind the number. I asked what the number was and she told me that
it was a 215 area code number but when she told me the number I didn't recognize it and
I thought that it was tyriek because he used 2 page me from all types of numbers so I
told her 2 call it back and tell him that I was in the shower. Ronnie came back in the
bathroom a few minutes later and was like "It was some girl named keisha" and my heart
dropped! I was like "What you tell her?". She said "I told her that you was in the shower".
I hurried up and got out of the shower and threw a towel around me and went in the bedroom and grabbed my pager so I could get the number that she called me from out of it.
I called keisha and she was hot! She wouldn't even let me talk and was like "Pussy,don't
be having none of ya secretaries calling me back 4 you!" and hung up. I called her back
and went right 2 her voice mail. I called again and when her voicemail came on I left
a message and said "Keisha,do u really think that I would have a chick I was fucking call
u back? Think! I'm over geez aunt teek crib and I spun the night so I had her call u since
I was in the shower. Keisha I care about u and I wouldn't hurt u like that so when u calm
down call me Nmk",and I hung up. She never called back but I ran in2 her that night and
we made up. I chilled with her on her steps and then my homie geez walked through the
block and told me that he needed 2 holler at me. I gave keisha a hug and a kiss and she
told me 2 be careful. Me and gees went 2 this bar on the strip called the whisper's inn
and it was these chicks in there. They were sisters named lisa,pina,and katina. Lisa came
straight at me and I was physically and sexually attracted 2 her. Geez went at her sister
pina. We left out 2gether and lisa told me 2 walk her home. We was both drunk and kissing
on each other. She only lived two blocks from the bar so I walked her.
When we got 2 her driveway it was a fire escape stairwell and she was like "Rhonshawn
I need u 2 do me a favor b4 I go home",and I asked her what the favor was. She said "I
need u 2 bend me over these fire escape stairs and fuck the shit out of me!". I said "U
4real?". She walked 2 the stairs,pulled her black tights down 2 her ankles and her phat
ass was shaped like a heart,and then she bent over and looked back at me. I waisted no
time and got behind her and held her thick hips while I fucked the shit out of her. She
was throwing that pussy back 2 me and moaning "Fuck me harder! Shit yes! Cum in this pussy!
Fuck!" and I grabbed her hair and was like "Cum 4 daddy baby! Cum all on this dick girl!".
I pulled her hair harder with one hand and smacked her ass in between strokes and she
started moaning "shit! I'm taming! I'm cumming!" and somebody hollered out of they window
"Me too bitch! Me too!". I busted in her and started laughing. She was like "Who the fuck
was that?". I said "I don't know" and walked her 2 her crib. We exchanged numbers and
me and lisa used 2 fuck all of the time. I want back down south philly that night and
the next morning I treated my mom 2 the old country buffet 4 breakfast. While we were
in there I ran in2 this chick named candy that I had met on 49th and baltimore b4 i got
locked up that I was fucking. She was living in south philly now on 23rd and cross. I
gave her my info and told her 2 get with me and me and my mom ate and left. I told my
mom that I was going shopping and I went uptown and heard that tyriek was home. I immediately went 2 his house and got with him. When he saw me he hugged me and we talked about
our homie rasheed that had died while we were locked up. It was in 1997 and I had just
talked 2 rasheed on the phone the night b4 he died when he was at my homie mont crib.
I knew that rasheed was stressed out cause when I talked 2 him he was like "U and riek
don't love me man. Yall left me out here all by myself". I said "We love u nigge. Sheed
a tripping. I need u 2 do me a favor though". He said "What u need me 2 do?". I said "I
need u 2 stay over mont crib 2nite until u sleep ye high off man". He sit& "I gotta get
Skn D
on my grind man. I'mma just come back over 2morrow. Plus mont don't love me no more either"
and he passed the phone back 2 mont b4 I could say anything. I told mont "Don't let rashee
go out on the strip like that. Keep him in ye house". Mont said that he would and I said
"Promise me man! Don't let rashee leave ya house 2nite!". Mont said "I got l em". I had
a bad feeling in my gut just like when me and tyriek got in that 5.0 and I told him 2
get out and it crashed. I hung up the phone and told mont I'll call him 2morrow.
When I called moat crib the next day he told me that rasheed was dead and I cried so
fucking hard that I dropped the phone and fell on the floor and screamed like michael
corlieone in the movie the godfather when his daughter got killed. I fucking knew it and
I told mont not 2 let him leave that house and he did and shoed died. That night that
rasheed died was the night that me and tyriek realized that we were on our own and had
2 have each others back.
Tyriek said that he had 2 go report 2 his federal parole agent and wanted me 2 go with
him so we went out and chilled and that night he slept over my mom crib down south philly
with me. As soon as my mom saw him she was happy because she hadn't seen him since we
was juveniles and I got out of jjc and he came home from st.gabes and his mom and my mom
came 2 get us from 1801 vine street. We slept and got up,showered,ate and went 2 his federal parole agent office and tyriek checked in. After that we discussed what our next move
was going 2 be. I told him how I was feeling about alot of them niggas and he was like
"Shawn,we just gone get this money and if these niggas get crazy we not playing with'em".
We put 2gether something nice and it involved our homie mark A.K.A. Miggidy from forest
avenue and our oldhead short from 77th and ogontz. The plan was 2 lock down everything
and move out all of the competition. We had a crazy line and we couldn't be stopped but
the bullshit came in2 play and I can't really get in2 it in this book but niggas was hating
on the sidelines. Niggas that was acting like they fucked with me and tyriek and as soon
as we turned it up and put the pressure on these niggas they ratted on me and my man and
got us out of the way. I got locked up
may of the year 2000 for a double homicide and
a shooting and got sent back up to greene county. TYriek had got grabbed first after a
cat named mad mark got shot. I was still on the streets and one day while I was in south
philly laid up in the bed with the chick candy that I was fucking,my pager went off and
tyriek code oo7 was in it so I called it right back and thought that they let him go.
When I called the number back somebody answered and was like "Northwest division,who's
calling?". I said "Did somebody just page a pager?". The person asked around if somebody
had paged a pager.
A couple minutes later a different guy got on the phone and said "Yeah I paged a pager.
I'm looking 4 rhonshawn,he shot my homie mark smith and we're looking 4 him. Isethis
him?". I said "Naw,he stepped out 4 a minute but I got his pager". He said "let him know
that we got his boy tyriek already and we'll be picking him up next". I said "Alright
-I'll -give him the message". I - got up and opened the window and threw that pager as far
as I could down the street. Candy said "Boo why you do that?". I said "Because the screen
cracked". I got candy up and took her home. I then went 2 Dean's bar on 17th and tasker
and shot some pool while I thought about what had just happened. I was trying 2 figure
oput how the fuck the detectives or whoever these people were that called me got my pager
number and knew tyriek's code 2 put in so I would call back. It didn't make sense but
I put it 2 the side 4 now. The only people that I trusted at this time while tyriek was
locked up was pam and lou. Me and pam got real tight and I used 2 be with her damn near
everyday. As a matter of fact,pam and lou was with me the day I got locked up. Alot of
cats in the hood be lying and saying that they was with me but I'm clearing the air nowthey lying! Pam and lou was with me and I can still remember how sad pam looked when they
put me in the police car.
Me and pam was chilling on her porch smoking weed and she had me cracking the fuck up
cause she was telling me this sniper story about how she was thinking about sniping somebody that was beefing with her brother, As pretty as pam is you would never think that
she had these type of thoughts in her head but she did. While we were talking I noticed
tyriek's aunt chip on his porch, His aunt chip is like a aunt 2 me too. I got up and went
2 the store and she followed me. As soon is I got in the store she crept up on me and
said "Mr.rhonshawn,what are u doing up here?'. I said "Visiting. What's up with tyriek?".
She said "he cool and said 4 you 2 watch yourself". I said "Tell him I got him.When is
n\ Ptc, 000
his preliminary hearing?". She told me and I told her that I would be there. Chip said
"Rhonshawn they looking 4 you". I said "I know.I'll be cool.Tell riek that I love him",and
I walked off.
On the date of tyriek's preliminary hearing I told my man gees that I needed him 2 drive
me 2 broad and champlost police district in the morning. At first he didn't want 2 because
him and tyriek had bad blood. When tyriek was home,we gave geez brother lou some work
and his brother got chased by the cops and threw the work and got locked up and needed
2 get bailed out. I gave geez the money 4 lou bail and geez went out and gambled with
the money 2 try 2 double it and lost it. Lou called me at one in the morning and asked
why his bail ain't get paid and I knew that geez fucked the money up,so i got out of bed
at one in the morning and me and ronnie,geez aunt teek's girlfriend that I was living
with,went and paid it and lou got out. Tyriek was mad and said that lou had 2 work that
off. All of us was in the bar chilling and drinking and /eez got mad and got in tyriek FAag
and was like "My brother don't gotta pay you shit!". Tyriek turned around and broke a
heineken bottle over gees face and cut his face open. geez and his uncle jamie tried 2
roll on tyriek and I jumped in it and opened the back door 2 the bar and pulled tyriek
out of there b4 they could do something 2 him. We made it 2 tyriek crib and by the time
gees and his uncle jamie pulled up me and tyriek had guns on us and was waiting 2 shoot.
They realized it and got back in the car and drove off.
When I went back 2 geez aunt teak crib that night and got back in the bed with ronnie,
geez came in the crib and me and him got in2 a fight which resulted in him pulling out
a ice pick on me. I love geez and I just walked off on him and the next day he came and
hugged me and said he was sorry and that he loved me. I 4gave him and 4got about it. So
when I told him that I needed him 2 drive me 2 the police station 4 tyriek he was like
"Men,they looking 4 you.Why would u go 2 a police station? You mightest well turn yaself
in!". I said "Because I gotta make sure that nobody comes in that courtromm 2 testify
against my man.Now I need you 2 do this 4 me man". After huffing and puffing he agreed
2 do it and drove me 2 the 35th district. I was at that police district at 7:30am just
waiting. A couple hours later tyriek paddy wagon pulled up and when he got out I called
his name and he looked at me suprised. I gave him the nod 2 let him know that nobody is
coming in there, he yelled "I love u nigga!" and went in2 the district, me and geez chilled
outside of that district until the paddy wagon with tyriek on it went back 2 the jail in0
S then me and gees went home. That night me and geez went to club jaguar's in our hood
and the cat who was telling on tyriek i wife jermaine was in there. I spoke 2 her and paid
4 her food and tried 2 get her 2 the marriott so I could fuck her. We was kissing and
grinding on each other and it lead 2 the outside and I had her up against the wall kissing
her and pam brother phil drove by and caught us and yelled out the car window "Rhonshawn,
keep ya lips 2 yourself !",and once jermaine saw that phil had caught us she got scared
and told me 2 take her home. That weekend,her sister tamara walked up on me while I was
on 76th and ogontz with my oldhead uric ellen and said "Mark told me 2 tell you that yell
can squash it and just give the case 2 tyriek". If she didn't have three kids with her
I might've left her there 4 disrespecting me like that but I shook my head and smiled
and said "tamers I like u shorty. Don't let nobody use you. Stay out of this and tell
mainman if he got something 2 say 2 me then give me a time and a place and I'll be there
but leave u out of it",and walked off of her. I told my oldhead eric alien what had just
happened and he shook his head and said "U better watch yourself youngin", I hugged him
and went 2 geez crib.
I got 2 geez crib and we started talking about his cousin sleep that we missed. Harold
"Sleep" Murray aka Rafiq is my heart. Me and him used 2 compete over everything and argue
over everything but sleep is a loyal ass nigga and if he with you then it's all the way
and if he against you then it's all the way. My mom love him 2 death! I remember one time
sleep was fucking this chick at my crib in south philly and after the chick left me and
him started slapbozing and I started getting out on him. This nigga spit a razor out of
his mouth and sliced the v off of my versace shirt. This shirt was $500 and it was a dry
clean only shirt and he had just sliced it up with a razor! I ain't speak 2 him 4 about
three hours after that. Me and him used 2 be 2gether everyday and sleep was crazy and
reckless once u got on his bad side. If he love u then u can trust him but if he don't
got no love 4 you then u on the menu. He's on death row right now 4 a case he didn't commit
R. iJAcks1/460
and he should be coming up off of that row soon. I love u sleep and hold ye' head my nigga!
Stay strong and fight! If u need me I'm here 4 u broil
Me and geez went 2 cheltenham mall and I was shopping 4 some new sneakers and clothes.
After I got what I wanted we went 2 this pizza shop called Sidewalk. It was a chick in
there named Erin that worked the dash register that was pretty as hell. I got her number
and that weekend we fucked and she was off the chain! She sucked my dick with crushed
ice in her mouth and that shit felt weird at first but then it started feeling good and
I buet in her mouth and she swallowed the water and the cum and called that shit a cream
soda! After that I put her in my top five! After the mall,I went 2 my grandmother crib
and put my bags over there and went in the basement 2 talk with my aunt tonia. She hit
me up 4 a couple dollars and I gave her some money 4 my little brother donny. Almost every—
time I saw tonta I would give her what she asked me 4 and give her money 4 my little brother donny so he would be cool cause he was locked up at this time in the county. Donny
used 2 call me early in the morning 2 track chicks down 4 him, I used 2 send him flicks
and I wrote him 2 keep him cool. It was this bad ass chinese chick that owned the deli
on the corner of my mom block and donny told me that she was one of his chicks. I was
proud of my little brother cause she was tight work! I went 2 the store and told her donny
was my brother and she lit up like a christmas tree! I gave her his info and she gat with
him. Donny called me and told me good looking out on connecting them back 2gether, He
put me in with his homie shaheed and some cat named apple from south philly so I could
get with the cat that was lying on him but these cats was playing games which resulted
in me pulling out my pistol on apple cause i felt like they weren't taking my brothers
life serious and I called shaheed over 2 my crib and met him personally and told him we
needed 2 find mainman. I'm not going 2 front,shaheed drove me around all of mainman hideout
and hangout spots but this cat just disappeared. We couldn't find this cat and none of
the leads we got on him panned out. I was mad that we didn't find this cat cause he had
my little brother life in his hands and needdb2 be reasoned with immediately!
I left out of my aunt tonia crib and saw keisha on her steps and went over and talked
2 her and as soon as she saw me she put her hands up and was like "Give me a box!". I
Just laughed cause she swore she had a fight game. She was adorable 2 me and I love her
2 death! I'm like "Yo,cool out!" and I gripped her by her arms and squeezed her and she
we like "Alright,damn!" and put her hands down. We talked and I told her I was about 2
go 2 the barbershop with geez and walked up the street. When I got 2 the corner I saw
this chick named charmaine that I was fucking and we started talking. I met charmaine
while me and lou diamonds and my man casino was in the whisper's inn. She came in there
and me and casino was in the back talking and he was like "Damn,who shorty?". I looked
and I didn't recognize her but she was beautiful! Dark skinned and a banging body! Lou
knew- her and said he was tryna talk 2 her and asked me not - 2 go at her but she got up
and walked right by us and looked me right in the eyes and never broke eye contact when
she walked by. I turned 2 lou and was like "Damn,what the fuck was that about?". He said
"She just chose". I love lou like a little brother so I was like "I'm not going 2 follow
up so when she come out of the bathroom go at her". He was like "I got her". She came
out of the bathroom and walked right 2 me and said "How long are u going 2 stare at ma
b4 u ask me 4 my number?". I was feeling her directness but I told her "Listen,I'm not
front,U look good as hell but my little brother lou likes u and I ain't gone get
in between that". She said "Lou is my buddy. I'm feeling u and I can tell u feelingdd
me so what's the matter?". I said "Hold on real quick" and I got up and pulled Lou 2 the
side and told him what happened and he said 4 me 2 go head. Three days later lou called
me and it was like a scene off of the movie new jack city cause when lou called me that
morning charmaine answered the phone and passed it 2 me and told me it's lou. I heard
the irritation in his voice when I answered the phone. ALthis day he be giving her the
cold shoulder because of that. I took this girl charmaine home and took a shower with
her and after we got out of the shower she was like "Lay down and let me lotion u down".
I laid down on the bed and she lotioned my whole body and then I lotioned her body and
wa laying on the bed naked and she grabbed my dick and was like "I can do something special
2 u" and smiled. I said "What?",and she grabbed the head of My dick with one hand and
squeezed my balls with the other hand while She leaned over and took the head of my dick
in her mouth and twirled her tongue around the hadof my dick and then swirled her whole
head around my dick while she went up and down on my dick and I came so fucking hard that
my heart almost skipped 8 bent! Then she straddled me and grabbed my dick and started
rubbing it against her wet pussy lips Until I got hard again- and she put my dick inside of her and began 2 ride me. Her. pussy felt so fucking good and I looked at how pretty
she was and looked .her in-her eyes and- said "Mare so fucking beautiful!". She started riding me. herder than and. moaned "Oh my god. rhonshawn! Ya' dick feels'- so good!". I grabbedher hips and pulled her down harder on me while I pushed up in2 her with all of my might.She then leaned 4ward and I leaned up and rolled over so I wason top of her and I reached
underneath of her ass and gripped her ass'and • pounded in2-hei real deep and hard. She •
squeezed me tight and moaned "Fuck me! Fuck me! Make me cum! Ohhh!".•I continued 2 fuck
her hard.and deep until we. both came. Charmaine was one of my favorites.
.While me and charmaine was talking,keishavalked•up the street and caught us but charmains played her. position and didn't draww . I walked 2 keisha and was like "What's up?".
She said "I thought u was getting ya haircut". I said "I am. I just ran in2 one of my
friends and we was talking". keisha smiled and just gave me a look likeshe knew better
and kept on walking with my oldhead big brian. I wenti the golden comb barbershop and
met geez in there. He was like "yo,I meant 2,how the fuck did you fuck ronnie?
I been tryna fuck her 4 the whole time that she been living with:myhunt and she shot
me down. She twat 2 fuck with my uncle Jamie and he said:she got the best pussy he ever'
I laughed at what be said and thought. back 2 the day: it happened, I came over geez aunt . •
teek crib 2 catch•geez and when I walked in his crib it : was-a chick laid out across the
couch. I was 21 at this time and ronnie was 30. She:I.:naturally beautiful. She don't •
need any make up and her, pussy should come with &caution sign on it. I came in and I
asked her if she could move her feet so I could sit down and she was like "No!". -I said
"You serious?". She said "Yeah,u can stand' right where u at,u cool". I smiled and sat
down on the edgisof the couch and then put both of her feet in my lap and started massaging
her feet slowly and thoroughly and she•relazed. I looked her dead in the eyes while 1:'
did this. I started with her toes,her ankles,her calves i her thighs,and then I tried 2
rub on her pussy and she jumped up like "What the fuck is you 'doing? I don't know you •
like that!" and walkooff in the kitchen, I followed her in the kitchen and was like "My'
fault! You just was looking good and I got beside-myself, I apologize 4 disrespecting
u but I don't apologize 4 being attracted 2 u.My . name is rhonshawn". She looked at me
and said "Apology acceptedomy name ronnte", I said "Alright ronnieihopefully we-can start
over and I reached out end .held her hand. She shook her head and said "U just :don't -quit do u?". I said "Why should I?". She walked pass me-without saying . anything and went back
in the living room and laid back across the couch. I was about 2 put her feet back in
my lap but gees came downstairs and was like "Yo,come on we out! Ronnie lock the door
behind us please". 'She ,
up and when , geez left out she said "Rhonshawn is u coming .back
with gees 2nite?". I said "I don't knot i why?•H want me 2 come back with •him?". She said .
"yeah". .1 said "Why you want me 2 come back?", She said "Cause I need some of that dick!"
and smiled. I said "Then I'll be back with him then" and left.
I came back with gem and asked him which room was ronnie's but geez thought I was lying
when told him that she told me 2 corn back and he said "Hold up.let me tell her u down here first". He went andtold her and sat went in her room. She had an a long night gown
with -no panties on underneath. I was drunk too. I started fucking ronnie and couldn't.
believe how tight and juicy her pussy was. She had me moaning like "Damn ronniel". We •
fucked -4 like a.half hour and when I came shenpeezed her pussy- muscles and got all of the
cam that was left in my dick out. I'm not gone lie,ronnie had Me so 'Open that when she
asked me 2 move-in with her I didn't even think twice-about it. Me and her used 2 argue
like a maths fucka an I used 2 'be like-"Fuck this shit! . I'm done with her!" and end up
over themelater on that night. I-don't care where I was at,if rcalled ronnie she came
and got me! I love ronnis2 death! She my heart! "
I thought about all of that but I just told geez "I don't know man" and me got our haircut and left. That night we went 2 club jaguar's and thie chick that gees used 2 mess
with named shores was in there- sitting at a table with these clown ass niggas that I used
2 chase home back in the day. They had put some pills in her drink and was tryna get her
in they car so they could run a train on her but she taw me and gest and Called us. Gesz.
asked. me 2 help him put her in the car- so he could take her 2 his - crib and . I did. We got
2 his crib and hswent in the kitchen : 2 make something 2 eat and Aheree was- like "Rhonshawn
R ,c, Ka-DA)
I wanna suck ye dick!". I was like "Yo chill! Geez right in the kitchen". She said "What
u scared? Pull it out". I said " easy". She said "I want u 2 cum in my mouth. Go
in the bathroom upstairs and wait 4 me". When she said that I realized that this wasn't
her first time over this crib. I said "Stop playing". She said "I'm not playing,just go
in the bathroom". I was like "Alright,I l mma go and u betta not be playing". I went upstairs
and took a piss and as sooh as I was about 2 wipe the piss off of my dick,sheree came
in.closed the door behind herout the toilet seat down,sat on it and threw my dick smooth
in her mouth, She had one of them slow dicksucks and kept moaning and humming and b4 I
knew it I bust right down her throat while she squeezed my balls tryna see if I had anymore
cum left in t ern 4 her.
After she sucked my dick so good I bent her over the sink and was about 2 bust her ass
until gees busted in the bathroom drawing! He kicked •the door open while I got this chick
bent over the sink with her pants down 2 her ankles and her pussy poking out from the
back looking like a half of cheeseburger! Sheree was so raw with it and that's why I fuck
with her so heavy. She was like "close the door gregl You drawing!". That only made this
nigga madder! He was like "How yall gone be fucking in my aunt bathroom?" and woke everbody
up. Now keep in mind that ronnie lives here and so do I now but ronnie didn't even know
that I was home. Gees drawing ass woke her up and she came out of the room and swung on
me first. I slipped that shit and then she tried 2 fuck sherse up. Geez helped sheree
cause he still wanted 2 fuck sheree. I grabbed ronnie and took her in the backroom and
had 2 wrestle with her 2 calm her down and then fuck her real good and put her back 2
sleep. By the time I left out and walked down the steps I saw geez on the couch french
kissing sheree. I said "Gaez u a drawing ass nigga and u a second hand cock sucker cause
that bitch sucked my dick and swallowed my nut and u got ya tongue all down her throat!".
Re was mad as shit and I just left out of the house.
Two days b4 I got locked up,I was on 77th and ogontz chilling with my oldhead Parker
one night and this sexy ass chocolate chick with a phat ass walked up with short blonde
hair and asked if she could speak 2 parker. I fell back so they could talk and went up
the street 2 a dice game that lou diamonds had started up and got in the game. Parker
-came up 2 the dice game like a half hour later and told me that he needed 2 holler at
me so I waited until the dice crapped out and went and hollered at him. He was like "Yo,
clear ye schedule 2nite cause my little buddy tryna fuck you". I said "Who?". He said
"The thick chocolate chick that just came and hollered at me that had the tight ass paresuco tights with the liscense plates all over 'em on". I said "4real? How u know?". He
said "cause she just told me that she was horny and needed some dick and I usually break
her, off but I got a prior engagement so I told her 2 pick who she wanted 2 holler at and
she said the only nigga besides me that she'll fuck is you". I said "yeah". He said "Yeah,
she been checking you out 4 a mtnute.So go head around the whispers and holler at her
cause she waiting on you". I said "Good look!" and gave him a hug and hauled ass around
the corner.
As soon as I walked in the whisper's inn she came right 2 me and said "So I see parker
gave u my message". I said "Yeah I got it. What's ya' name?". She said "They call me yummi,
but u can call me yours 2nite". I smiled and asketzhat she was drinking. She said rum
and coke so I told the bartender 2 get her anotheriorthat and I ordered some corvouister
on ice. We drank and I was feeling the alcohol too. Yummi grabbed my hand and said "Come
take this walk with me so I can talk 2 you". I followed her lead and we walked down the
street pass the deli on 76th called famous and she told me 2 hold up and we sat on the
steps. It was dark as shit outside but I had my gun on me so we was good. She stood up
while I was still sitting down on the steps and stood in between my legs and asked "What's
the craziest thing that you ever did?". I told her that I've done some wild shit b4 and
she said "Rhonshawn I heard about u being bad out here but i'm talking about sexually".
I said "I don't know. Why? U got something in mind?". She said "Yeah,I wanna ask u something but I don't want u 2 think I'm some type of freak or I scare u off". I said "What
is it shorty? Shoot". She said "You got my pussy so wet and I wanted u 2 bend me over
and fuck me right here on these steps". I looked around and it was cars going by,people
walking hy,and this was somebody else steps that we was on. This chick was crazy! I looked
at her and said "Yummi you wilding! What type of freak do u take me for shorty? U the
fuck crazy!". She said "I'm sorry" and b4 she got 2 say something else I was like "Send
\IA cdc8641
avail". She smiled and pulled her tights down and bent that phat ass over and grabbed
the steps with both hands. I took my gun off of my hip and put it on her back,unbuckled
my belt and jeans and started fucking the shit out of her from the back. I couldn't believe
I was doing this shit but it felt so fucking good! She was moaning "Take ye pussy boo!
Fuck it like it's yours daddy!
All of her moaning made me fuck her even harder and then she reached back and squeezed
my bells and I came deep inside of her. I picked my gun up off of her back and she pulled
her pants up while I got myself 2gether. She asked me 2 walk her 2 the a-plus so she could
get a blunt 4 her weed and I walked her. While we were on our way back from a-plus.she
was like "oh my fucking GOD!" and I gr; pped my gun like "What's up?",thinking it was
another nigga she was fucking who migh ve felt some type of way about me fucking her.
She was like "look,they left the back-of this uhaui track open. I want u 2.fuck me in
the back of it" and ran and got in the back of it. B4 I knew IT I was fucking her brainti
out in the back of the uhaul truck. We went back on the corner arid I told parker and he
couldn't stop laughing. The crazy part was that I enjoyed all of that shit. It was something new and exciting. I don't know. I just love women with a passion! I want home that
night and went right 2 sleep.
P. tiftc (ODA)
Now,let me bank this up a little hit and then we'll come ri g ht back 2 where we left
off. A couple weeks b4 I got arrested,I was on the corner of 77th and Ogontz when soft
ass mooch walked up and started a conversation with my youngin' Lou Diamonds about why
his rat ass uncle Jay Jay told on our oldheed Wannie and sold him out to the feds, Scooch
was telling lou that his uncle did it becausehe couldn't let them run in his crib and
riskfinding all the work and money he had stashed there end some other nut shit. The whole
conversation got me mad Just listening 2 this sucks,Frank "Scootth" Yasgerodescribe why
this rat was e rat. He then pulled a knot full of money out and started counting it in
front of lou and Apo asked him can he get $100 and scooch told lou he ain't have it while
he was counting this big ass knot of money in front of him.
I told Lou "You asking him wrong* and then pulled out my on and put it 2 scooch's head
and said "/ apologise for not doing this sooner but you're. just gonna have to bare with
me, Drop all of that money on the groundotake that chain off and put it on the ground,take
ya Jacket off end pat it on the groOnd.and take ye' sneakers and ibantiroff and poema
on the ground or,l'Oma Put ye' brains on this ground!". *e complied and when he only had
his t—shirt and haters on and Sock/ I.said "Now get ye Wad Howard,tShirt and panties
on having ass the fuck out& beret And if you look beck 1 4 mma *adopt tool!. He walked
off and I told Lou "All that shit Ours!". My oldhead Parker that was standing there said
"You the Luck retarded! I knew that Shit was coming!" an ifltarted laughing:. Twalked 2
the In and Out pitzaria On 76th and °goats 2 buy some pints and is I was walking in the
store it was this pretty,thich,hazel eyed chick that was gang in the door, I stopped
her from going in and closed the door on her andstood in . front of it and she said 'Tau
not gone let ma in?". I said "No". She said 'Why?, I gotta get my food". I said "I can't
/it you in until you pay the toil". She smiled and said "Oh my god! Stop playing! Why
41- you doing this?". I said "Ial foSeris getting cold in there so you gotta deka a decision
quick". She started laughing and satd "I can't believe this. . What's the toll?". I said
"You gotta give me a kiss". She said *Oh my fucking god! A Kiss?". I said "yeah". She
said "I can't believe this. My baby father is right at my crib waiting on me and you gone
make me do this'l l% While we were talking some people had 2 come out of the pizzeria so I moved 2 the side
and let them out and she tried 2 run in but I hurried up and closed the door and said
"See I was gone let you ride with just a kiss on the lips but now you gotta mike it special
and give me some tongue". She started laughing and said "I hate you! Why you won't move?".
I said "What's ya' name?". She said "Rakeemeh". / said *That's a pretty ass name". She
said "Thank you. Now are you gonna' let me get my food?". I said "Naw.but I'm gone let
you know my name". She said "Alright.what is it?". I said "My name is Rhonshawn". She
shook her head and Smiled then looked at me and said "So you're Rhonshawn,huh?". I said
"Yriab,why? What you heard that name . before?' She asid_.*Yeah,my babyfather know you and_
he asked me if I knew you". I then replied *Who ye' babyfather?". She said "I'm not telling
you but can you please let me in? They might think I don't want my food".
I said "Alright,come here". She hesitated 2 come 2 me 86 I reached Out and grabbed her
hand and pulled her 2 me and hugged her 2 me while she looked up at me with those pretty
4,00. I looked her in the eyes and said "You are so beautiful Rekeemah and / Would be
honored if you let me kiss you". She said "If that's what it's gonna take for you 2 let
ma get my food,come on", and I held her tight in my arms and slowly tongue kissed her
passionately. When we broke the kiss she was breathing heavy and said "I can't believe
I just let you kiss' me like that and I don't even know you. Now I'm gone be thinking about
this shit all night". I laughed and said "Then in that ceseolet me make it worth ye' while"
and pulled her 2 me again and tongue kissed her passionately While I caressed all over
her body. She had both of her arms wrapped around my neck while we were kissing and t
took one of her hands and poen in my sweatpants so she could feel how hard my dick was
and after stroking my dick a few times she came up for air and said "Please don't do this",
I said "Do what?", She said "Hurt my babyfather. I gotta go. I gotta get away from you.
Please let me get my food so I can get home Rhonshawn", I looked at her and I wanted 2
take it further but I didn't. I said "I don't usually do this but I'mma make *A exception
for you. Ho head and get ye food Rakeemeh l but you gotta promise me one thing". She said
"Whet". I said "Promise me that you'll never forget this moment". She smiled and stepped
closer 2 me and got on her tinny toed and looked me deed in the eyes and said "I promise"
sad then kissed me on the lips and wont and got her food. By the time she came out of
the pizzeria I was gone.
k iJkokto0
Later on that night,me and tog went to his chick Donna crib on 18th and sisquehanna
avenue. She lived with my man Roll babymom who came at my tap as soon as we got down there.
Lou told me that she was Rail Mbytes and I told her that Rail was my man but she ain't
give a fuck about that and said that he had moved on so why can't she? I understood her
logic.I just didn't understand her loyalty and ; wasn't about 2 let her use me 2 get beck
at my an so I politely declined her offer. While lou and Donna was talking I went 2 the
corner store called the Dell and bought a blunt and some candy. When I came out it was
a darkskin chick outside that was chocolate and thick as hell. She was with this other
chick that was short and had braids in her heed. I just couldn't take my eyes off of the
darhakia chick and while I was looking at her I heard sopehod y say "Rhonshawn what the
fuck you doing down here?". turned around and it was Opt man Mario. He come :nd hugged .
me so ti ght that he felt the butt of the gun I had on my hip and said °Ye ma t ins Ornet
down here" and looked down at my waist. I smiled and said "Nam I"m good. Pa down hers
with gem little brother lau". Upon hosting low nemeweiti° got hype and said:"Dem wheal
liltion at? I *Jet seen yell niggas in years?". I in him know that loa was at donne
crib and marl* knew her too so we Mat over there sod the'larkskin chick was staring at
me. Her and her girlfriend chille4 : 6il the corner while I went in the drib and got lou.
Lou dame out and mado said "We gotta put one in the air new. Crecy ass Rhooshawn down
betel". I asked merle who the darkskin chick was end he said she be playing games but
her name is cocoa and the chick that's with her is lee lee.
He was an a bike end rode over 2 cocoa and lee lee. I walked with him and when he got •
woe them he said "Damn cocoa that was some nut ass shit you did and gave me that wrong
number". Cocoa said "%mom bad. Go get a pen and paper and I'll give you the tight one".
Merle said "I gotta spin around the crib real quick and grab soma t a. 1'11 be right beck
end you bane not play games this time". Re told me and leu 2 chill and he'll be right
back and rode off. I had on a black boody t black guess jams.and some black and gray air
mat's. I had the hood halfway on my heed so you could only see the sharp ass shapeup that
I had. Lou sparked a blunt up and asked them was they smoking and they said yeah. Cocoa
setelet's go sit on my ateps"Md we went and sat on her steps. The weed was flowing and
Cocoa said "What's ye' name?" referring 2 me and I said "Rhonshawn". She said "Oh my fuckin
godl I Manna name my son Rhonshawn. My name is Nashawn".- I said "get the fuck out of herel*
and started laughing thinking that she was playing but she had a hospital armband on cause
she had just got out of the hospital from being shot in the leg and showed me the armband
and sure enough her real name was Nashawn. Her name was spelled exactly like mine except
4 the first couple of letters.
Lou passed the blunt 2 cocoa and I just kept staring at how sexy she was and her girl friend lee lee noticed me staring at her and said "You like m y girlauht" and looked at
"Who I'm fucking
me.-I said "She alright but she fucking with somebody already". She
with?". I said "You just told my man made that you gone give hilt ya' number so I'm good'.
If you gone holler at me you gotta cut him off". I said it just 2 see what her reaction
would be but cocoa was a player. She said "Cut him off? Whoever cut him on?
remember this number and make sure ye' sexy ass call me. Don't worry about the flusher
I's About 2 give him" and told me her number and I locked it in, Mario rode up a couple
minutes afterwards and she gave him a completely different number then the one she gave
me. Lou looked at me and started laughing. Marla asked lou what was so fumy and lou said"Nothing i this wegbgot ma trippin g " I had 2 hold my laugh in and when marlo rode off cocoa
looked at lee lee and was like "Lass!" and gave lee lee a high five, T juat shook my head
and puffed on the weed.
I opened the passenger door of the white 1-30 infiniti that me and lou came there in
and set in it and turned on ;he mobb deep cd that we was listening 2 and let "Shook Ones"
play and cocoa came over and stood ie the doorway and reached over and took my hood all
the way off of my head end said "Look at you! You in cute with them sexy eyes". While
we were talking I heard lee lee say "Cocoa look u p the strestpand I think she got a gun
on her again". I looked at cocoa and I could sea that she was scared so I asked "What's
up? You alright?" land she said *That's the girl that shot me and she !calking towards me
right now". I asked "Yon don't got no gun on you?". She said "Maw". I lifted so hardy
up and pulled that as through cisme off of my waist and cocked" it and told her "Here.just
hold it until she get close enough and I'll tell you when 2 shoot". Cocoa looked down
at the gun and said "Oh shit-flee Lee look! It's one of them -guns from off of the movies".
Laft o ktpd
I smiled and said "And Yea gatt • shoot it like they do on the movies". I watched the girl
and two Of her girlfriends walking closer end cocoa said "Shonshawn I'm scared but if
they tees closer I'mma do it". Lou said "it's either them or you shorty". I told Cocoa
2 hack up a little bit and let them see the gun in ye hand, She did it and one of the
girls that was with the girl who shot her started pointing down at cocoa hand and then
they stopped.
The girl who had shot COcoa looked cocoa in the eyes and nodded her head and tapped
her girlfriends on the arm and they turned around and went the other way, Cocoa said "Oh
my gedl Thank you! Can yell chill with me 2nite?". l smiled and said "You good shorty.
She ain't goes try You 2nite cause she know you onpoint but don't sleep on her. You don't
got nowhere you can stay at besides here biters Lee tat said "yesh.she gone stay with
me 4 a minute s . Cocoa grabbed my aim and pulled me out dfi the car 2 the side and said
"Ion Nitta mill gue. You un, guardian angel" and then she gave me a hug and kissed mil on
the cheek. She then went around the car and hugged lou too. Lee Lee said "You betta call
my girl" and took the blunt that shehad in her ear and Sparked it and I said "Whore you
Set that from?". She said "YoR , den't_iant none of this! This all wet!". I laughed and
me and lou got in the car and heederi,lick uptown.
When we got back uptOwn it was a 4iCe game going on and Lou got in it and lost. I was
chiliing on the red ste ps with my oldhead doughty and we was smoking some weed while I
told his about the skit that had just happened down north philly when lou walked up and
said "Yol let me see the gat reel quick!". I said "What's up?", He said "Mansthese nikanu
just beat me for all my money and I'm about 2 jam this joint and get it back". I looked
at the dice game and it was black and some other cat from forest avenues/move that used
2 be with my man mont,my Med casino,steve from forest avenue and his man l and some other
Dian that I ain't know. Doughty looked over there and said "Give it teem" and passed
me the blunt beat. Lou is my heart and I know that this gunplay not really his thing and
it's some niggas in this dice game that will squeeze and we alright but my loyalty is
2 lou.
I looked at lou and said "You really uremia do this?". He said "Yeah man,I want my shit
back!". I said "Alright,come on then. You just pick the money up". Me and lou walked across
the street and I pulled my gun off of my hip and said "Casino,get out of this and step
2. the sideoll the rest of you niggas throw that money on the ground. If you niggas flinch
or play games Palma leave you here!", Steve said "Daps gone jam me though?".
I said "Puts* you ain't my man,you mont man! Put that shit on the ground or I'mma see
if you bulletproof and shoot is' bitch ass!". My man casino sterted laughing and I told
log 2 pick all the money up. When lou got all of the money I told them minas 2 walk down
the driveway and get the funk out of here. All of'em including steve went down the driveway
heeded towards the fire station. Casino_said."2o1 As soOn_as_lou_lost and-I-saw-that niggs
walk over 2 you I knew what time it was. Lou let me get my bread back niggal",and casino
and toe went off 2 the side with casino 2 give him back what he lost.
I went beck on the steps with doughty and doughty said "You did that shit like you was
reeding from a script?" and we Started laughing. We blew the last of the weed and then
doughty said he was going home, I asked lou was he alright and he said he was and then
we want in2 the deli on m y block called MS and it was this oldhead in there named Tone
that was getting crazy with everybody. He got in lou fate and when I went 2 tell him 2
Shill la started talking crazy . 2 me. I told him 2 come outside and he did and took his
ja004 off and slammed it on the ground and put his hands up. He swung a wild ass punch
aid I squatted on it and it went over my head. I then hit him in the stomach and tried
2-paneh through his navel. He bent forward and I hit him with a left hook on the button
es went 2 throw the right hand down the pike but he was out! Lou stood over top of him
es4 slapped the shit out of him and he woke up and name-to and said "Don't kill me man!".
ne and Casino started laughing and Lou said "Higgs you just got knocked the fuck out!
Get ap and pick this dirty eats jacket up and get the fuck out of here!TM. Oldhead Tone
got enoicked his jacket up and, walked backwards so he could watch us and went home,
Mt and Lou went home and as soon as I walked in the door Ronnie jumped in my ass talking
bent' why / ain't call and then she started arguing with her daughter Shantelle 4 not
having her homework done. I went over and asked shantalle What she needed help in and
abs said she needed help in her math. I did a few of the math problems 4 her and ronnie
yelled "Rhonshawn don't be doing her homework for her! She gotta know how to do that shit
herself! Shantelloode that homework and don't make me thhe over there!". I told shantelle
2 holdup and I went 2 talk 2 rth inie. I said "Why the fuckt im,you hollering at her like
that?". She said "Cause she know Sitter!". I said "Come Meal" and grabbed her around
her toilet and started grinding on her WA, She said "No! Oat the fuck of of me! You ain't
that goad nine!". I smiled and said nYash t listin I need 2 speak 2 you about something
reel important upstairs baby". She said "No you don't! You can talk 2 me right here!"
and pulled away from me. I said "I'm 4real Ronniej need you girl". She said "Alright
and all we doing is talking. Don't think you getting no pussy!". I said "Alrightptlea
se. Ten minutes later I had her bent over the bed with her face in the mavens moaning
*Shit Shawn! I'm timing!" while I held her thick hips and pounded her pussy till' I came
deep inside of her.
We laid on the bed and she said "Don't think that justi ,:because you got some pussy that
this is over with either" Mt stetted rubbing on ay dick. I said 'Donn ' s* you was on 2
mate. She said "TeekiI was on to you Mr.Smoothn , I told her 2 hold on :4 4: minute so
I can go get something 2 dank and eat. I threw some clothes on real quick and ran down
2 the kitchen. I saw shantelle in the living room still tuna figure out her meth problems
and I went over 2 her and picked miter pencil and paper that had the math problems end
told her 2 go watch the steps and let . me know if her mom come down the steps. When she
posted up at the bottom of the stene_I hurried up and did all Of her homework 4 her then
banded her her paper back and she said "Thanks Rhopshawn!" I said "Alright.don't let pa'
mom know though" and went upstairs and got back in the bed with ronnie and went 2 aeon.
That weekend me and Lou and my man torrents was at the Whisper's Ian bar and this oldheed
named Dottie kept getting impatient with the bartender named Ms.Dot who is my hostile Manny
from doggtown mom. She was trying 2 be as patient and respectful as she could with him
but it was like that fueled his antler. Manny is 4 close friend of mines end he knows that
as long as his mom works in my hood and I's on the streets then she's cool. Ms Dot got
fad up end told , Doonie that he had 2 leave and he said "I ain't going nowhere! I paid
my money like sterybody else!". Doonie got e nephew named Fuss who is tight with me too
so I don't wenna treat him like I would 4 stranger on the strength of the relationship
that me and his nephew got and Dottie watched me grow up. Na,Dot was like *You gone have
to leave and I don't warms have to call my We, Demi. Mid "Bitch! Call whoever you
mem milt Like I said I ain't leaving this bar till' I'm ready 2 leave!".
Me,Lougand Terrance was sitting in the beck of the bar and when he called her a bitch
she looked directly in my eyes but I was already walking 2wards the front of the bar when
I heard him say that 2 Ms.Dot. She saw the look in my eyes and said "Shawn r got it" but
I never acknowledged that I MO heard 'her, I walked Up 2 Doonie and said "You need 2
---apologise-2-Ms.Dot-for calling her out-of-her name". He said-"I ain't—ond-the next thingYou heard sounded like a small firearm going off muse I had slapped him so hard! He fell
off of his stool and got up and said "We gotta fight now! I ain't one of these pussies
that you got scared of you around here!" and he walked out of the bar and around the corner
to 76th and Ogontx driveway so we could rumble. Me.Dot said "Shawn I don't want you getting
in no trouble babe. I said "I'll be right back and have me a shot of corvoimier ready",and
walked out of the bar headed 2 the driveway. lou and Terrance followed me,
By the time I got around the corner the fresh air must've sobered him up and he realised
that he was out of his league cause he said "Rhonshawn listenj don't 44444 fight you
man but the chick was out of pocket talking about I gotta leave". b4 I could say anything
Lougrabbed him and told him he needed 2 watch his mouth. He cashed Lou off of him and
said "But I ain't no—",and b4 he got anything out of his mouth I hit him with a straight
right hand that busted his nose open and broke it. Ne grabbed his nose and said "You fund,
broke my nose man!" and slid down therimair,I got on top of him and started pushing down
on his nose applying pressure and he'sahOrcrying and hollering. I stopped and said "Are
you gonna apologize2 Ms.Dott". He said "Yeah Hal Yeah! / / II apologise!". I let him up
and walked him around the corner and back in2 the bar. When we got 2 Ka.Dot I said "This
man got something that he needs 2 tell you" and Doonie said "I'm sorry Me.Dot I apologise".
Ms.Dot said "Okay baby,it's alright. Shawn let me get him some ice for his face. Come
here baby and let me clean you up".and she took him in the back and cleaned his up.
A couple days later me.ftm brother Phila y riekrend m Y1-94"10 0 Y1 keyon was on the block
talking and my oldhead Ortiz Palled up and called ma. Ortit is Michelle brother and he
/ova me like a little brother, I -Walked up 2 his car and he pulled the window down and
Said "I need you 2 do me a faver"..-I said "What's up? Shoot", He said "You see the boil
standing next 2 Phil? The Oldheed : boyl with the fitted hit on", I said "yeah". He said
"He 0W0 me some money and / been looking for him". I said "Hold up u t and I turned around
and walked op to the cat end was like "You know Ortiari,, He said "Yeah". I said "Don't
you owe him some money?". He said "Yeah but-",and thaetes far as he got cause I hit
hie with a short six inch hook that put him on his ess. Phil was like "God Damn! Rhonshawn
hit the 'shit out of that niggel'% I acit him up off of the ground and toolchla 2 Ortiz
and . Ortin was shaking his head and selling. He said "That's why I love you boyriond him
and the guy started talking and the guy went in his pockets and give Ortiz- some money.
X,askid Ortiz was everything cool and he setb"Yeah" so I .. went home and went right 2 sleep.
MY aunt Tonia woke woke me up in the afternoon and Or:Stsad! I was sleep in the base.
and she came downstairs and was like "Smug,' need you to address something for me
nd make sure this Pa ll give me mvzoney1", I got up and I was like "Damn Tiiie,hold
414 Whet is you talking about'? I was sleep and you come down here tripping!". She said
"NY fau lt for waking you up but . kenny m is acting like he not gone give me my money and
I'm tiredof plating game* with himi s c Kenny was this guy that grew up with my aunt. He
wept by the name of Mello Keys. He didn't have a place to stay and my aunt let him use
Mr apartment out north hills and he was supposed to pay the rent but he didn't and since
it wee 16 her name she got .stuck with the hill and now owed $1,700 to the landlord.
I got up and grabbed- my towel and'wrag and prepared to go take my shower. I put my gun
under the pillow of the couch and my aunt saw it and said "Don't let my mom see that".
r i end went and got in the shower. When I apt out Tonle was in the living
laid "I won i m
rode and said "Stay I just want him 2 give me my money and I'll take care of the rest",
I said "Alright,When I seeem. I got you",and got dressed and left. I didn't run in2 Mello
until the following weekend. Me aid my man Casino was at this strip club calleelhe PlayBtOendfland Mello Keys and some short brownskin cat with glasses on came in with him. mello
can over and shook our hands and introduced us 2 his bombe that was with him and went
2 order some drinks. I told casino what happened with mello and my aunt tonis and I let
him know that I'm taking dude under 2fiite 4 whatever he got on him. Casino said "I got
my Muter on me toe so if his man get crazy then I goer. faded". I smiled and said "Cool,
Pais go holler at this nista now, Spot his man up 4 me",end I walked 2 the bar where
mono was at and told him that I needed 2 holler at him outside.
Outside of The Playground on the Ode is a fire escape that leads up 2 another part
of the club. I took him out there and I already had my gun in my polo jacket pocket off
safety.-As.soon-as-we . sot out-there *elle said-"I-know you on-the run 4 some drama and -14*suprlsed you out here like this". I said "Teethe nigga needed some fresh air. But
I. wanted 2 holler at you about this paper you owe my aunt Toni*. She said that you acting
like you net gone give her her mone y ,so whaf's up with that?". He said "Damn,younginl
What you pressing me?". I said . "Nav,I ain't pressing you. I'm just tryna get a clearer
understanding", He said "I know that's ya / aunt and everything but that's between me and
her. I know ye whole family man. Ye pop is my oldhead and ya' grandmother is like my
grandmother". I saw where this was going so I nipped it in the bud. I said "Melle,that's
where You. got it wrong at! My aunt is my fucklotabeetness! You in here buying drinks and
paying these stripper bitches money but because"tore woman and she ain't really no threat
to you,you think you gone burn her for that $1,700 that you owe her. Yeaha lm on the run
nigga and I don't got no problem adding you 2 the list of charges I gotta fight when they
catch me! Empty ye pockets nigga and I know you got a gun on you niggiveo keep one hand
in the air and un buckle ya' belt and let ya' pants fall and kick that-4un over bert to
me before I shoot ye bitch ass in the fecal". He said "temp younginatm gene do this
to ormeand looked down at the gun I had drawn down on him. I said "Ri ggs YOu got ten
seconds to comply or I'm leaving you out here!". He huffed and puffed and unbuckled his
pants and a .9 millimeter browning fell on the ground and he kicked it over to me.
I told him to back up some and pull,hls pants up. After he pulled his pants up I said
"Rabbit ears nigge". He turned his pockets inside out and had two nice knots in both
pockets. I made him toss both ()rem over to me and told him to take his watch off too.
He had a nice fossil watch on that I liked. He said "We posed 2 be family man! You gone
A Ck6-64.)
pull .a gun on me?". I said " Sin t you tigq gY famil y orlou would've made sure my aunt
had her shitj now walk out that gets before I change my mind . and leave you in here!". He
walked out of the gate and I went and got casino and told him 2 come on and we left.
While We was driving I counted up the money and this pussy had a little over $4,000
on him. I started 2 tell : casino 2 turn the car around and go back and shoot that pussy
in his ass for playing games. I gave casino a graftd,I cook a grandiand gave my aunt the
rest, I knocked on myaunt tonia door and when I went in:t said "I saw mello and he said
he ain't giving you nothing". She said "And you let'em say that shit and ain't punch him
in the mouth". I said "No". She said "I knew I should've. did it myselfl I'll catch him,
-watch!". I Said "I did one better 4 you". She said "What?". I went in my pocket and took
the money out end threw it on her Up, and said "Don't ever doubt me a g aih and walked
bards the front door 2 leave. She rap
. and*hugged me and said "I knew you got him if you
saw him so stop Playing ell the tOlhoy,and puebed me pla yfully . I told her I love her
sad hopped in the car with casino and told him 2 take me4lhinhie house and casino started
laughing and said "I thought You ain't fuck with ronnit gg7gOrt.". I said "I don't. I think
Left some stuff over there Chat I gotta get. Some important stuff". Casino tried 2 had
his Laugh in cause he knew I wise.hullshitting and ronnithad me tucked up. BersnickeredAMOT.
mid said "Yeah man i a* just shut the fuck up and drive nigger and we both started laughing.
He dropped me off at ronnie crib* I. mot out of the car and I said "Casino man,' vanes tell
yap thatowell you know,I just wanniand casino cut me off and said "I love you too man!
Now take ye' soft: ass in the house and beg ronnie 4 4giveneis rages! I'll see you 2morrow?
44t I said "You got jokesehuh? See you 2morroW niggal" and we both laughed as he pulled
off. I went in the house and got in the bed with ronnie and went right 2 sleep.
The next day I woke up 2 a phone call from my man Mark aka Miggidy from Forest avenue.
Back in the day,meayrick,Miggidy,and my oldhead Short Do gg had formed like a little click
2 get money because when I first gat in the game and took off with Short I got hated on
by Pam's older brother Phil and Parker. It had got so heated one day that my oldhead Mike
Gnus had 2 intervene because Phil end Parker wanted 2 roll on me right on the avenue
because at this particular time in the early 90"s iPhil and his team had the hood on smashBands down! I respected rank and understood that it's levels 2 this shit sO I just waited
till' my time Oleandwhen it did I wouldn't 4gat all of the nut shit that these niggas
did 2 me when Sant the bottom. Short rectified the Situation between me and Phil so
that it would-be some peace in the hood but I never 4got it, Due 2 alot of cats hatingt eliggidy-because of the assMkbhpingthat he gave "H", he as a outcast like me so we clicked
as soon as Short introduced us.
84 I go on I want to go back a little so those reading this will understand me,Phil,and
Parker's history, When I first get in the game at 12 years old when my partner Tyriek used
2 help me find spots 2 hustle Out prodUcta quickly had my own work that I used 2 cop off
of Short.] I soon became competition for Phil. Onedaymyhomie J.Thadgot in2 something
fitb these cats and I came 2 find out what was going on with him and I waswithmyoldhead
Mont. While I was talking 2 .1.V,Phil ran up on me and wan Ma d and was like "What the fuck
is you here for? You ain't from around herol",and then he stole me but I rolled with the
pinch cause I was used 2 fighting. J.Ir and Mont got in the middle of us and broke it up.
Mont pulled me away and I saw the niggas that was around Phil and knew that now wasn't the
tiMe so I just looked him in his eyes and nodded my head 2 hit and walked offwithMont.
I went 2 my oldheed Short crib and told himIwanted 2 kill Phil and Short told me 2 calm
down. While I was sitting on the porch with Shona looked down at Phil crib and saw Pam
and some lightskinned girl named Gloria coming out of her front door. As soon as I saw Pam
I immediately calmed down. I could never hurt her like that because even though she didn't
know it I was in love with har,so I let it go but I never 4got.
When Boone : stole Phil years later after / got my weight up with my hate and Phil and
Mbeilitried 2 roll on Boone,' immediately Jumped in it and When Phil said "Rhonshawn how
you gonna go against me end this nigga just stole me?". I replied "When I was a youngin,do
in remember when you stole me and I let it go?". No just looked at me mad as hell! Nowise
, ix Iowa :each ot herlike that at this
and Parker's situation. wed_diffstents. We. Plidn"t real
t like:Met / had bottled school one day
en4 me and Gee. was 2gether and he took me over 2 Parker's crib. Phil t Donnie Black,Parker,
and some est thatlI didn't know. Sae there. At this particular time in my; aft I mas thirteen
years old and I used 2 drink alot but:! ween't really- smoking weed like that. They got me
high as a kite! I had on a pair of Polo County boots and Parker kept asking 2 wear them
and I kept telling him no. The weed kept going around and I had smoked so much weed that
my eyes was bloodshot red!
Parker asked me could he wear them again and I ended up letting him wear them and when
I vent 2 get them back he wouldn't give them back. I was too high end 2 little 2 fight him
but I asked him 4 a rumble anyway. I went in his basement, and I remember Gee. saying New,
yell high man.coot outt",end he got in the middle of us and told me that Parker would give
as my boots back.just be cool. I sat down on the steps cause I couldn't stand no more and
I heard Phil say "let them rumble Men a . I felt like I Wes surrounded by vultures. I don't
know how I got there but I peeled out and woke up at my , arindmothers crib. My boots was
gone and I had on some old , black chukkas. I went' outsideT12 loOk 4. Parker and found him on
the avenue. I walked up on him and I said "Mothers my boots - at?", He answered "Manothey
it the crib! We was just kaiakwith:you young boil! Walk tie to the crib and you can get
thee. I walked him 2 his crib ea he gave them 2 me and asked me if I really was gonna
ramble him in his basement, I told him that I was Ba nta do whatever I had do 2 get my
hoots back. Parker smiled and said "I like you youngboylaou got some heart". And from that
dail cm me and Parker was tight!
Ins thirteen years old and these cite was in they twenties! But fuck it t it's all apart
of life 4 a thug! back 2 the phone call. I had jist came home in the year 2000
and Miggidy heard that I was home and wanted 2 link up. Short gave him my number and he
reached out 2 me. Re told me 2 meet him at Cheltenham Mall at 3p.m. so I did. I met him
at a store in the mall called "Scorpio's". We talked and he told me he had some work and
he wasn't fucking with slot of cats but he heard that I was home and he wanted 2 make sure
that I was good. This was right on time because my little brother Douai, had a strip down
south phillY on Lemon and mountain street that was dry and he plugged mein with his eyoungin
need Smoke that was moving his shit but I didn't have tic product. Miggidy . paesed le off
something nice for a good price too. I gave half of it 2 the youngboyl Smoke down south
philly to move and 'I moved the rest uptown. I was . on atitte lenge at this time So I had t".
2 more with caution. I kept some money- down my mom spot- dawn *south philly and some at
grandmother's crib uptown. I wan
, ted 2' buy a ear but I.-would have 2 explain my income and
I ain't have a job 2 back up my story so . I waited it out: I ker myself fresh at all times
end at this time my little brother Denny was locked up in the county so I looked out 4 him
Pat couldn't go see him yeti I paid all of my mom 'bills and made surethat she was cool.
After a couple months,I moved out of 'my mom crib and I was 'staging/onMohican' street with Gees aunt Teek girlfriend Ronnie. I used 2 make sure that the bills was paid and kept' food
in the house. One time when I was counting money with Ronnie and eating.Geel was high and •
snatched some of the money off of the sofa that we Was counting it oh and tried 2 run out
of the door. with it but I caught him outside. He was high and I hate' 4 him 2'be like this
clank/ love Gage 2-death and it's hard 2 get' through 2hia when he's in this state. Long .
story abattoir* ended up fighting and I felt bad!' He ran 2 his car and pulled out a ice pick
on me and I was so mad that I kepi attatking him and he stabbed me with the ice pick- by
accident. Ronnie saw me bleeding and vent on tilt! While I was holding Ronnie beat from
Gee:As took that oopurtunity , 2 hop in his Car and leave. By the time I got in the house
the phone was ringing. Ronnie wouldn't let meanswer it cause my arm was bleedingescr while
she cleaned my arm un i fier daughter Shantella answered the phone and it was Miggidy calling' •
cir me. He was on the ave looking 4 me cause he needed me 2 go with him somewhere -end
started. telling him whet happened and Ronnie snatched the'phone cause she fuelced with him
an after I introduced them and told her he was family. So, she itaita telling his °hat
happened between tie and Cheesed Miggidy told her thit Gees was right in front' of him on•
the awe, why did he do that/ Ronnie said "Shoot that pumail He took my baby money and ran
out the door!". I snatched the phone out of her hand and Miggidi said •Whit you wenn& doe. .
I told Miggidy that l'econ ity way 2 the ave.just hold him there and hung up."Yeah ime and
Gees fallout but -when I was hOmelesi thieves -the nigga that took ins'inandmade sure I
ate and I'll never.asst.that. This was my brother MI got meatand hist:Antissacred!
R (Jimkteti)
I mad at himiI yealff Ant, ; 1,-0iihow
ehed he sOtif hi g h and 2 this day I'm loyal
2 him because wiseiaveatihathehe Will1araciii4tidjitii1ii anion. m sun erunderstanding wasn't going 7 change that!
I got up the ars and MiglidY had .Geez at gunpoint. As soon as Gee saw me he said "Damn 'you
gone have a nigga pull a gun on met". I told Miggidy that it was cool and I pulled Can
2 the side and I asked him where my money was at and he pulled out my money mimed with his
and gate me my money back and 'walked offeemilts. Miggid y asked me what's up and I told him
that it was cool. Ma g id y kept the gun in his hand and said "I fuck with Gee end everything
but you team!". I told him it vas cool and we got in the car and pulled off, I saw Coes
a couple nights later and he apologised 2 me and said he was high off some weed and syrup
hailed earlier that night. He asked me was my arm cool and I $44 him "Yesh.Ronnie patched
a nigga up real goodl",end we both started leughing. I will alwys 4give Coes 4 his nut
shlt bemuse he Is a true friend and family member. tthte 041 still get letters from
CM and flicks. I remember when it was nights that I aket ha re no where ,240 and Gees
ate me a place to sleep and shared whatever food he had with me without net asking 4 anything back in return. True friends like that are hard 2 Come by an once I g ot put owl never
fronted on him or turned my back on him when he werinsed s I lors- Gses and my loyalty 2 him
remains the sailLater on that day.I was at the• car dealership with my oldheed *sort Dog while we waited
for the registration papers to get Pri n ted out for him to drive off the lot in a MOO Grand
Cherokee jeep. Once everything was done we g ot in it and Short said *You can't get in my
new shit with that gun on you. Go put that shit in the dealership bathroom *mein". I
looked at Short end said "If I go back in that dealershipa l m leaving more thanjust this
gun in they bathroom",and Short started laughing and said "Get ya l crazy ass in the car
so we can get out of heriervand we left. I miss my eld b ead Sho rt Dog. He came 2 see ma down
the county jail a couple times and each time he said "Young& I must lore you cause my
own brother was in jail and I ain't go see him". Short even used 2 write me and send me
flicks too. I hun g out with Short and went down Jay street with him and got our shots and
I told Short about Ms.Dot and how I tucked oldhead Doonie up and Short couldn't atop laughing
in the tar. I told him that Hip .Dot was putting me on her daughter too and Short told me
I should've been tryna get Ms•Dot. I laughed and later on that night he took am home and
I went right 2 sleep as usual.
The next night I was in the bar that Ms. Dot worked at so I could meet her oldest daughter
named Ionia. Prior 2 meeting heron the night that I fucked Doonie up 4 calling Ms.Dot
a bitch,when I came back 2 the bar 2 check up on Ms.Dot 2 make sure that she was cool be
I went home she sat me down and talked 2 me. Her shift was over and we sat in the back
of the bar and sipped on some alcohol while we talked. Ms.Dot always looked at me like
her son and used 2 always try 2 get me 2 stay out of the streets and out of trouble. As
I sipped on my drink she asked "Shawn,when are you gonna leave these streets alone? I be
hearing the shooting going on around here end I be hoping that it ain't you. Ye' name done
cams up in so such stuff around here but I keep ay mouth closed and pray for you and hope
that GOD keeps you safe". I said "You be praying for me Ms.Dot? Damnothet's deep! Thanks
though". She said "yeah,I pray for you. I pray for you all of the time because as hard
as you try to be I know ye' young ass just need some love. You need a good woman in Ye
life boy! That's what you need!".and she started laughing. I said "it ain't no woman out
here that can calm me down Ma.Dot. These chicks is too soft for a real nine! I be too
wild for them so I keep it moving",
MusDoc got up to refill our drinks and said "If I put one of my daughters on you you'll
calm down. I laughed and said "What you saying? She gone take me out of the streets?".
She said "If you let her. Which one of my daughters you like?". Now,all of Ma.Dot's
daughters were beautiful and built just like her but the oldest one Ionia had green eyes
and looked exotic! I said "I like the one with the green eyes. She might be able to tame
Me!". Ms.Dot said "The one with the green eyes,huh? Well,her name is Tonia. That's my oldest
daughter and I'm gone tell her that you want to meet her. I'll have her here tomorrow night
for you so tome through here about seven o'clock and she'll be here. And you bete& not
Set my daughter in trouble". I laughed and said "She in good hands and you know that Mis.D
plus I don't Wanes hear ya' mouthroand we both started laughing.
The next day came and re at the bar with Tonle and she looking like something 2 eat!!!
Face was naturally beautiful with those green eyes looking like 2 priceless gems,and her
body was tight! Her lips was juicy as hell and sparkling with the alcohol everytime the
light hit them. We were sitting in the booth talking and she was like "My mom told me that
somebody wanted me and usually my mom be fucking up when she play match maker but you sexy
iiO4111": I sailed and she said*And icie hells' cute too!".I told her "Then we should
he on a even playing field: Cause you damn sure beantifuryOursalfM , Shflaid "Think you",
and calved bleier to me. She Went 2 pink up her drink and I noticed her trench deNICUred
Napa with the white cApe:Shigh'enda'hei hands look lo sexy that r . reached out and held
herbal& and complimented her on her taste. She then said "So how do'you'spill yar-name4.:
Oda that's different0 . I tOld her and she told methat my name MS Pretty. Sluithen *eked
I -told her that / didn't she paid "Wellir got a daughter and
if I'had any kias and
r *Sh that's not _a problem. AS ne - I!e:nitt - babVfather either!.
HeUtIly a red flag gees Off aboatthibabyfethershicanee 2 ma the baby lithertadaleays
Coil leek and get the pussy if he wants but their ate exceptions 2 every rule. So I then
daughters father? Db he at Iimist: teks"care of his-%
asked "So Whei'l in with you
:Said?". She Said-"He lacked up at groterford with a life sentence chat he fighting "'give
beck"..4 I immediately felt had and asked "Do yon'he-taking his daughter to go 'see him?"..
Shi: siaid:"Now.: I Said "Why-not?"."She said "BerMaini if he wanted to see her then- he wouldn't
have didahat . he'did:to'get that life intents. Ha leftUs :Out here lioarselves*.-I Saw
tie Pain' in her eyes when she Said - dile. I then: *eked "Did-he take care of his daughter'
Whetilscwsi'bome though?". She said '"Yeah',/ie did bUt I'm by myself flow", I said -"Tenie.don't
'get me wrong,you are hands loan one'ofthe Daddelt chicks . that I've seen in my life and
you are natureilibkell".'Shs said "Thank Yoe,While I was talkies and Icoetinued "And
I know that ellen ten ie mi body Uri: going - to go to war With me for what ra about. to San
hut. TOnie I -can't :L*14k with you until you Chalks that wa# of thinking. You Just told ae
that ia' lehy father took care of his seed when . heals" out hots but -because he got life
ion took his daughter'irderhie and if I'rtoda with what you doing lust 2 get some ass Or
1St lb. with Vbh,thon no only would' you not reopen mea wOuldn't respect me,,Ilm'on
pere/eTrightoaa'while 1PN:talking tO .ant I know yel'mam-letiou knight what I'm about.,
and la'—brother knew tie teal geld"
Limey you was Ohm of ay brothers
. She cut Ai Off'end-taid'As soon as you said ya name
friseds".: Itiintintivid "I'l-knes deep ist - thais'atieeti and I could go bank to .jall today
or temorroa'ind'yoi Could fuck ironedand - do the sine thtit Seen .' She Said "No wouldeti
Aland him got slot of bad history- Win you right.he was definitelY a good father to his
daughter and I'm not gone 4 take that away from,him-but r feel, as though he should've thought
sci dtc; hADA)
about that before he did what he did but I feel where you coming from. But why should what's
going on between ms and him even matter? You don't even know him?". I said "You right Tonle,
I don't know him but I know his struggle and I could be in his shoes anti-feat happens
I would want somebody to adhCateay babymom on why I 'should be allowed in see my daughter
if I had one by the time I Went to jail".
She si nned on her drink and thought herd about what I , Sd just told her. I looked at
her and I knew that she wasn't used to being rejected and technically I didn't reject her.
I just gave her a different perepective from the one that these cats that A/Mel be real
but really be fake was giving her. I was on parole and I knew that if I didn't get !OWE
killed then prison was waiting for me right around the corner. I had seen so many of my
oldhesds and my hamlet and coiradis that I had just left, go through it because some cat
that they was locked up withotrUstedor that was in the *greets had lucked they chick and
took away all of the hope that these dudes had. These women don't know that even if they
lie 2 a Aigga in jail,that's better then just leaving hind dead! But these fake cats-that's
supposed 2 be true 2 the game only think with they diek and instead of giving the chick
the game on how she should ride for her dude under these- conditions'all they-wanna do is
fuck and put a real nigga down for the Count!
I'm loyal 2 this game and 2 myself and as good as Tonle was looking I had '2 accept the
fact that until she understood this struggle enough 2 net-tOreher hack on her baby father
while he was ja jailothen fucking ber-wauld be to different thee !taking my dick in a
hole in a wall because T wasn't getting nothing out of this. She looked up At me and
"Rhanshawn,I thought about what you said and I id:gait it l but fuck him. I'm out here with
our &Wett er) not him. &riescool! Ta' loss- babeal". I tilled and_toldler "I appreciate
YOU being honest with me shorty and it was nicirmeeting Yoh. HopefdliAif-I run ia2 you
again things , different, Can I get a hethefere I leave eel can at Lent see what
that bay of yours eeel like?". She laughed inksaid . "40114Zu can"-,and got up' so I could
hug her and her body was down feathered pilloe teal I' jet her go and left the bar end
thought abOut her response to everything that,Thad just dropped on her. I couldn't believe
that her response was still the same. I walked 2 my grandmother'ecrih for theaight and
thought to myself "If she couldn't respect real repothen she could never respect me. That
was her loss!". I got in my grandmother's crib and went right 2 ale
I woke up in the afternoon the following diy and got dressed and went to go get my haircut
my man Hassan and lightskin E barbershop, B cut my hair free of charge au& then asked
meWas I going to Parker's birthday party Mille. I told him that I would and hesaid that
he Would see me there. 1 left out and ran some errands. I talked - tie— ay - mot who toldme that
the chick Wen from 6th orogen that my uncle- feria hooked-me up with was calling and asking
when I would he home. I let my moo know to tell her that 1 was out of town the nett time
that she called. Gwen was a good girl but she was a virgin and I ain't want to hurt her.
I just slowly let whatever we had die off.• I got ready for Parker's party and went. He had
I bought him shot- after shot until
it At the *Whisper's" and it was PMcked. We had
he couldn't drink no more. He had drunk all of the Bennesey and now was downing the corvour
Let. Everybody was at Parker's party.even the chick "Tiffany" from 78th ogontz that I was
flanking with for a brief moment. I was mad at her and didn't speak to her at this party
but 1 fucks with her mom real heavy,Tiffany's mom is my heart and she good peoples and loves
me to death!
Tiffany was still in love with her ex when we met. This cat had a crazy hold on her and
it was like she would go for whatever he would feed her, Ma and Tiffany -go hack to middle
school and was supposed to had been fucked With each other but I was too wild and her and
her sister was always good girls that me and my squad was Just cool with so we left it at
that. I saw her one day,and we were older Row. She was sad and I noticed it and when I
approached her I saw that she had been crying. We talked and she told me that her and her
mos bed had an argument. Tiffany really loves her mom and at times when they don't
really hurts Tiffany. I ended up walking her home and sitting with her on her steps talking
to her until she calmed down. She thanked ma and we ended up kissing and exchanging numbers.
We used to talk all of the time and I used 2 go see her elot and kick it with her. I was
jiVc (ODA)
really feeling her. One_der,: yent_ja_tbe,Paoute.InveaCherAoaLwae in there by herself.
It was raining real hoary outside and 400 thejegagbaile was out on the strip under
the partitions waiting ktga rain 2 sop. I went in and It iakati t with her mom and we talked..
She said "So you like my daughter t hUh?". I responded "Yong . Tiffany good peoples". Her mom
Sat laughed and finished her drink. After she was done,she told me that she was rear to
go and asked me to grab her umbrella for her. I told her that I got it and that I would
walk her home to make sure that she was cool. She Smiled and told me Thank you I held the
aural& for her and we walked to her , house together. When, we got in front of her house
she told me "You better not hurt my danghterl",end 4milad'et_me. I Responded "Yes maml",and
I waited until she got in the house and left. A couple Steps down the street I heard somebody-call my name and I tu r ned around and it was Ti f fa ny. cal ling Me, I turned around and went
back to her. When I got up on her I hugged her and then gave her a kiss. She said "You was
j ust gone leave without speaking to so?", I told her "I didn't even know if you was hon
or not. I ran in2 ya' mom and I Jost wanted 2 make sure that she got home alright. What's
up with you though?".
e 40eP in MY IMP and put her arms around my
Tiffany didn't answer me and just„lOOked m
waist and said M en ° be careful out t here Oa n ehawa".ead she hugged me real real tight.
After we hugged I looked at her. MI16100,444 I Wee like "tau alrig ht?". She said"Yeah,I'm
alright. I Just be hearing about some of the stuff that you be in2 in them streets and I
be worryin g about Youlthat"e all. You a good dude and when you around me you're different.
I just cam b ia it something wrong with that?". I laughed and said "Naw,you just got real
deep on me but I feel you though. Listen I gotta' go take care of something real quick but
Ilmse hit you up tonite t alright?". Tiffany nodded yes and hugged me again. I kissed her
on the cheek and left. Tiffany is a very beautiful woman and I did want to be with her but
they say that GOD puts people in ya' life 4 a purpose and he takes them out of ye' life
4 a reason*
On the day of Parker's birthday party.I was around the corner at a dice game and I was
winning, While I was On the dice,my youngie named Khalif walked up 2 me and was like
"Rhonshawft,I need 2 holler at you real quick!". At first I was hesitant cause I was hot
on the dice but I ended up talking to him real quick. I said "What's up youngin'?". He said
"I see you in ya' bag so I ain't gone hold you,but the chick Tiffany that you be hollering
at is at Parker birthday party with some nigga that pulled up in a white nevigator l do you
want us 2 get him?". I smiled and said *Haw youngineit's cool. Good look on the heads up
though". He said "You know I'm with whatever,so just let me know",and bounced around the
cotter. My man Casino was with me when Khalif told me and was like "I know you strapped,
what's up? We got us a new navigator or what?". I laughed and said "Cool out. Homie don't
owe me 'no loyalty,she do. He doing what he supposed to be doing. I can't hate on that!".
Casino laughed and said "Now you wanna get all philosophical on a niggal So is we going
to the party or not?". I said "Ain't no MOTHA -PUCKING BOUSTl e ,and we both laughed and wentto Parker party. As soon as 0 we walked injiffany saw me and started shakilpher head. This
wasn't just Parker birthday party,it was also A going away party for her too. She was going
to. the army,college,something , I was too mad that I ain't even remember! I saw her mom though
and she put a smile on my face. Her mom knew that I was hot too. I walked right by, Tiffany
And ANI save Parker a hug and me and Casino started loading him up with drinks. Tiffany
was on the dance floor with the nigga dancing and I got up to leave cause that shit was
waking me sick! When I went 2 walk by themohe spun off of dude and gripped my hand and
pulled me 2 her and started denting with me. How she pulled that move offs! couldn't tell
y ou but she did it! She said "You not gone speak to me?". I said "It ain't really nothing
to say Tiff'. You chose who you manna be t' end I gotta accept ye decision". She stopped.,
dancing and looked me in the eyes and said "Rhonshawn Look at me". I did and she continued
"I care about you a whole lot but he said he gone buy me a house and things are going to
be different".
looked at haw incredibly beautiful Tiffany is and couldn't believe she was that naive
but I guess love is really blind cause she definitely couldn't see through this cat bullshit,
Here it is i this eat was married to a chick and she was cool with being the number two chick,
I couldn't even hate on mainman. I had to salute him cause she knew and was still going
for it. It was at that moment that I lost 4hsememimee all respect 4 her. I told her 2 take
cars of herself and I walked away from her and her mom saw me and called me 2 her. When
I approached her mom. her-POW,411100-MO-P9-h0AP-h0E—POIMMLIO94_10..her Car, that she was
taking to another part, thetrthOY_Were_thrOlin g _fOrliffORYAJ heXPed her get all of the
food in the car and she asked me "Are you ridin g tO • the
party With us? Tiffany wants you
to coat?". I smiled and then answered her and said "Naw.I ain't going but yell have agood
time though". Her mom smiled at me and gave me a hug and said "Yon take care of yourself
out here". I told her I would and that was the last time that I ever saw Tiffany.
1 went back to Parker's party and my partner Tyriek's mom was in there.Ms. Puggy. She
is like a mother to me too and as soon as she saw me she hugged me ti ght. I asked her what
she was doing in here and she said that she was waiting on a cab. When the cab came I paid
the fair and made sure that she got home. I also.plid for parker to get taken home cause
he was too drunk to make it by himself. Me and my man Casino started talking and he asked
me how I felt about Tiffany and I told him "I'm not gone front.I had feelings for shorty
but It is: what it is Wade. She belong to Maintain°. Casino laughed and said "I ain't gone
front either.she was bad as shit1" 444 we both laughed. I-had to piss real bad and bald
Casino to hold up so could go beat a piss. I walked around the corner to take a piss in
the driveway.
I -lit around- the- tie-tad- I wWw‘ to the side of A -dutapstor and started pissing' Mien-- I heard a woman scream and yell ."111110 Get the fuck off of met", I was a little drunk so
I ain't know if my mind was playing tricks on me a0 I waited until I heard her scream agpin
and I took my gun off of my waist and walked up the driveway towards the other dumpateri
I walked to the side of the doo0Oter and saw a woman named dogieffiwho's a friend of my father'
with her pants down to her anklee.heiog held down by two Youn gine who's name I'm not going
2 put in this bookend one of the Yooa g ins was between her legs trying to put himself inside
of her. I pot the business end of my gun to the beck of his head and told him 2 get up.
He got up and Angie jumped up and said "Shawn they trYne rape me! I'm calling the-cops!".
I Stopped her and said skagie.we not calling no cops! But you not getting raped eitheroo
get ye clothes on and just chill!".
While she got dresseda asked the youggin g what the fuck they was doing. They said that
Angie was buying some crack from them and she switched the rocks up and tried to burn them
for their money and they told her that she had to pay. for Wha t she stole and she said she
ain't have no money and was gone let them fuck her 4 the money, Angie butted in and said
"I only said one of them could fuck,but this pussy gone try to hold me down and make me
give- him some!". I asked how much she owed them and it was $20. I couldn't believe that
these two young cats was about to turn a twenty dollar tab in2 a twenty year sentence! I
gave them the twenty dollars that she owed them and they walked off. I asked Angie was she
alright and she said "Yeah.I'm alright but do you got a couple dollars so I can got something
to gee% I reached in my pocket and the next bill that came out was a $50 billa didn't
went to give it 2 her but I didn't want her getting the youngins locked up either so I passed
it off to her and she hugged me and thanked me 4 not letting them rape her. I told her - -alright and then vent back *road the corner with Casino.
I told him what had happened and who it was and he bust out laughing and said "Them 111'
nines is wild!". Fast forward to the future real cleicka stopped Angie from getting raped
only to have her show up in court and lie on me and say she saw me kill somebody so I could
get the death penalty! She got on the stand and looked me in the eyes and started crying
real hard cause she knew that she was out of pocket. After I talked with Casino I went home
to ay grandmother's house so I could sleep that alcohol off. As soon as I got in the house
and laid down on that bed I went right to sleep.
I woke up the next da Y;to-ar grandfather tellin g we that somebod y wanted me at the door.
I asked him who it was and he told se that it
two girls_end some guy at the door, I
told him 2 tell them that I was getting dressed and would be ri ght down. After I got myself._
together I want downstairs and saw my man Butchy. Butchy . was the brother of me and Trick's
oldhead named Black Ray from the 2400 block of 77th and Ogontz. He had these two thick ass
chicks with him. He introduced one of them 2 me as his girl. Her name was Cis. She was brownskin and had a nasty,sexual look 2 her. She was thick as hell too! The other one's name
was Leah. She had the hazel eyes,thick ass thighs,and a phat ass! I smiled at Leah and she
said "I see we gone be getting along,huh?". I laughed and went to introduace myself and
She said "I know who you are Rhonshawn. I heard slot about you". I looked at Butchy with
a concerned look and Leah caught it and said "Don't worry,he ain't blow you up. You good!",
and started laughing. I just shook my head and then I asked Butchy "So what are we doing
today?". Butchy looked at Lie and replied "Well,me and tia about 2 shoot 2 my, crib real
quick cause I forgot something", and Lie looked at him and started laughing . like they had
a inside joke that they shared but I caught on that they was about 2 go futk'. : Butchy then
continued and said "Leah Made us bring her over here because she wanted 2 meet you so I
figured that she would stay with you". I looked at Leah and she started blushing and looked
down at the ground. I told Butchy "I got her. She in good hands". Butchy told me alright
and let me know 2 call him later on.
After Butchy and Lie left,I took Leah's hand and lead her 2 my basement. She said "Where
we going?". I said "Somewhere where we can talk at". Once we got 2 the baseMeot I sat on
the sofa and Leah stood in the middle of the floor and asked "Where do you want me 2 sit
at?". I said "Sit where ever you want". She asked "Anywhere?". I answered !Anywhere you
want". So she came and sat down on my lap and my dick got instantly hard! Her ass was so
Suit that it covered my whole waist! All I was thinking aboUt wee bending her over and pulls.
ink on the long hair that she got while I fucked her hard and deep from the back! It took
everything in me not 2 start ripping off her jeans but I think she felt . how hard I got and
read my mind because she turned around face me and straddled my waist and: looked in2 my
eyes with those deep hazel eyes that ehe got and asked "Can I kiss you?". I replied "You
don't gotta ask me that baby.anytimejou need these soup . coolers.they yourel",and she started
laughing and said "Soup Coolers? You le crazy! You funny, as hell!". After she calmed down
she gave me the most passionate french kiss that I ever experienced. She grabbed the back
of my head .and kissed me like she loved me
The klis was slow and deliberate and had alot of passion in it. She kept tacking in my
eyes like her soul was trying 2 speak to me and tell me something but I just wasn't listening
to what it was saying. We broke the kiss . end Caug ht our breath and she stood up and took
her pants .off. This chick didn't havas scratch on her. body. Her thighs were super thick
and looked like she used cocoa butter . sticke on them daily. She had pretty feet and had
a toe ring on the middle toe of each foot. Her hands and toe nails were chine in a clear
polish with the black tips and it fit her to. a tee! She then took off her shirt and bra
and she had the most prettiest firm tittles that I had ever leen. They sat up and she had
the light colored areolas with the firm pointy nipples. She then looked me dead in the flea
as she pulled off her panties. Her pussy Smelled like - a hot apple pie fresh out of the oven!
I had all kinds of thoughts running through My heed. I didn't knew whether 2 fuck her brains
out or open up her legs and start a all you can sat buffet! Since I didn't have the time
to start my own personal buffet,/ decided 2 fuck the taste out of her mouth!
So I took my shirt off and then I picked up her jeans to move them out of the way and
her school I.D. fell out of her pocket with her picture and birth date on it. I looked at
the birth date and couldet believe what I saw. The horny side of me NIS telling me 2 play
it off like I didn't see it but the morel side was yelling "DON'T DO Intl". YessLeah was
thick as hellommelling good,and probably even tasted and felt good,but she wasn't for me
to find out because Leah was only 15 years old! I threw my shirt on the sofa end sat down
on the arm of the sofa and Leah just looked at me and said "What's wrong? What you scared?".
I smirked and shook my head and replied "The only thing that I'm scared of is catching a
statutory rape charge ,and then I picked her ID up off of the floor and tossed it to her.
She said "Alright.I'm fifteen. So what? I done fucked dudes older than you. I know how to
keep my mouth shut!". I didn't even hear none of that weak gape she was running. I just
grabbed her clothes and handed them 2 her and she said "Oh,cause you found out that I'm
Pi i}claN)
young you thinkthatiourhetter thweetit!Auco014I!114ust_calt_up OAS Of my side Jawns
and have them fuck me! You acting Jae Yoe tbLealt,tinneent there! At first you was with
it and now you find out op age pcd 07o.. 1 act like that's Chantin g something! Fuck you then
Rhonshawn! You the fuck corny anYway,sot ms in ye' grandmother basement! I• fucking hate .
yourgand then she started crying. Now / understood the look that she gave me earlier, She
just wanted to be loved by a strong men and the men theta. had come across looking for
this lusted after her and convinced her that she needed to exchange sex for their company.
I didn't get mad at the insults that she shot at me Gas r knew that her auger wasn't really
directed towards me. It was directed towards somebody else and I knew exactly who that person
wae, So I did something that them other nisgas didn't do-I talked 2 her and I listened.
I wont and sat on the sofa beside her and I held her while she cried on ay shoulder. Then
she started swin ging on me and telling me 2 got off of her and I still struggled with her
until I held her in my arms again. When she calmed down T said "Lea.' don't think that
I'm better than you and that's not the reason that I'm not bristle; with you. I'm 21 years
old and you are 15 years old and morally t wasn't raised like that. I heard yet when you
said that You done Lucked cats Older than me And X don't doubt that because it's alot of
suckas out here that's into that ibut I'm not ORO of thee. You don't have to gee me no pussy
for me to chill with you or kick it with you and those sate that had you doing that was
out of pocket! They deserve to have their brains blew the . fnck out! I don't want to have
sex with you because I think you deserve better than my corn y ass in the basement", Leah
lioshed and said "Shut up! You not corny. I just was mad at you". I said "I know,but let
me ask you something. Was ye father in ya' lifers She annoyed what I alread y knee, Be
was in prison for bank rub bery and she missed hi* alot. She started talking about him
end hew he used,toteke care of her and I understood who . had taught her how to dress and
take care of herself. Her father spoiled her with the best of everythin g and when he got
taken away by the federal system it crushed her. She had been looking for her father's type.
of security in those older men end was using sex 2 keep them around. So once I rejected
her sex she offered es b is her yeangsind su e.444*fect ly. cel l in g her that she wasn't good
enough for is to be around. This is soother reason why older men shouldn't be out fucking
these under aged girls because you can mentally and psychologically fuck them up for life
and breed long term insecurities in them that slot of them never recover from.
I started talking to her about whet she was doing in school end how she started messing
with these older cats and if she would sto p. She said that she would think about it for
me. I told her that she was beautiful,confident.sexhand smarts-end she could have any man
that she wanted ' s() why waste time on a man that doesn't see you as special? You are only
15 years old and you have ye! whole life ahead of you,stop spending it on these sucks&
I thee told her "I'm not 4101= front on you Leah or look at you differently cause of what
we talked about. Whenever you walk or you need my bolos:call me. Plusaou , lucky I found
out how old you really are cause I would've hit that and flicked ye' whole career up! You
wouldn't have had time for school canoe you would've been 2 busy stalking mar. She started
laughing and said "You funny as shit! But you can't handle all this ass!",and bent over
and touched her toes. Her ass looked like a big ass heart! I shook my head and told her
"1 see how you baited them other nienas in,now gat dressed so I can kick ye freak ass out!".
She laughed and said "Shut up!".
After she got dressed I walked her out and we want on the corner of my block. I saw my
little youngin named Lil'Omar and he told me that he needed 2 talk to me. I told Leah that
/ woad get with her later and she took out a pen and a receipt and said "Ion ain't never
give me ya' number". I said Rout of everything we talked aboutothat better not be the only
thine that you remembered". She smiled and said "It esset"fi I gave her my number and a
hog end she left. I took Leah ender the wing like a little sister and she slowly but roll
cut off them perverts that she was dealing With. Lil'Omerolleves Mid Mark's stepson and
Justine who I got caught kissin g on 1W Tam ". brother Phil...ono-We called his 141'0 for
short. L11 1 0 said " mom is a fucking nut for telling on you and Tyrisk, That nigge
Mork be whooping her ass and I Within aims! She fucked up about that nisi's or something'.
While we were relking,my oldheed Doughty was parked on the corner of 77th and called me
to his car, I told 141'0 to walk me and when I got up to Doughty's car he told me to get
in and ha passed me some weed and a blunt end said "Roll that up,I weans holler at You real
quick". I told Lil'O that I appreciated him hotleringst me and I told him that no matter
L. JAcktbt4
what he gone always be eY Ma ga' 4140 don't worry about nothing we straight Li1 / 0 told
me to let Tyriek know thathe.s0404 hi p _lo ye,find he Xeftc.POWthly otarted the ear and said
"I need you to take care of somethin g for me, I sparked up the Kant that I had Just rolled
aad puffed on the 1.4 and let that shit hit my lungs and then I asked Bought, Oat was up.
He asked "You got ye' gun on your. I gave him a dumb look end he said "You righteiumb ass
Onestiont,and we both laughed. He said "Theme ni ggles up bare on Thouron avenue is selling
weed and I came by here earlier and they wouldn't even let is get five Was for twenty
dells;.. I need you to take them under for me".
I'm not SOna lie tif this was anybody other
than a niggatgot
_ Clot of love forpt would've
felt disrespected but this UMW oldheed Bought''. You can't talk about my hood without
bringing his WM up. $00.014 him I'm with it and we drove PP to PennyPecker schema and
I sew slot at cats sitting on the stein* of the school. I told Doughty to drive around the
career end let me out in the 444 Of the school '. t thee P4.4 him to drive around and start
a argument with them atm* not giving him the tt !0 for twenty deal earlier but don't start
the argument with them oPhiI 704 ete:41051king AP hehio
thee ll be districted and
won't 004 me. Once I gat the drop on them I told hie to0,444-Me.
g et out of the car and keep his
bands in his Jacket pocket l ike he get a gun end I'll POhl.olre-O f the rest. Dought y dropped
me off in back of the school and I walked through the playground. Once Doughty Sew me he
rolled his passenger side window Own and started arguing with
cats about the deal they
wouldn't give his earlier and the y started telling his to get Out of the cot and they gone
fuck him u p . I got to the ato ps and took my gun off of othiP - And pointed it at the aim
that was still on the ste ps with a Pretty ass re dh040 chick sitting between his legs. I
asked him if he had 'e gun on him and he said he didn't. I let him know that if I found a
gun on him that him and his chick was getting it. He told me again that he didn't have a
SOS. By tide time the rest of his 'quad peeped what weYgoin g On and turned around and I
drew dame on them and OW who got the weed. The redbone Sate d. out three of the agues
that was threatening Doughty Os the guilty parties. t told her that she was coming with
us. Doughty looked at me confused and kept his hoods in his Pockets like he was holding
a pistol. The three Oats threw seven bundle. on the Omer. I told redbone to grab them and
then I told the algae* to take off through the schoolyerd and they did. The bundles had
- their agefieY in them in rtibberbands#
We g ot in the ter and I asked **bone where she wanted to get dropped off at. She lived
onlayland stre gtright around the corner from ttle *loot. I told her not to go home tonight
WOMB them cats might think that you sit thesesad they might feel some type of way that
you Sold on them like that. Doughty said "Yea ahort YtYou did give them algaes right up.
We eiriciated it but it Met a pod look on ya l pert'. She told Doughty to take her to
her aunt crib on Briar road' so Doughty dropped her 90 and when she got out of the rata
got out and vent in one of the bundles and took out some weed and money and gave it to her
and toldto- be - careful. - I got back in the carand Doughty jumped right in my ass. He
said "Nina you breaking that bitch off like die this wise _a three way split! That bitch
wasn't part of the robbery!". I said *I know but that was so she won't give us up". Doughty
started laughing; and said *Niue I told you about that soft ass shit with these bitches!
You done forced this chick to be a co-defendant! That bitch will have ye' ass in that district eating them cheese sandwichosedenetipatedi n . I laughed and said *Fuck you alma! Take
me back around the end" Doughty said "You sure.cause I can take you to fide' crib if yell
WS smoke that Weed 40 you gave her together". I laughed again and Just shook my head.
We get up the end and parked on the ate and me and Doughty smoked another blunt before
I got out of the car and told him that I'll see him tomorrow. He yelled out the car window
sad said "You Nitta not go meet up with that bitch and break that money and weed down!".and
we both started laughing ;gain. I gave Doughty his cut of the take and went in the house
high as a kite.
I woke up the next day at like 2pm,showered,and went on 77th and ogontz 2 bolter St
Pam's grandfather, Everybody called him law end everybody respected law. I used 2 be sitting in his car with him smoking weed while he dropped valuable life lessons on ma. Law
was a very intelligent and observant man. He knew about everything that was going on in
the hood. I used 2 marvel at how much he knew because he would know actual details that
only the people involved knew so he could alwaye pinpoint the person who had made the
miatake,an d he had the answers. This particular day,me and law was in his car and he had
drovetoti the avenue of 77th and ogontz and we at in the ear and just listened 2 some
music that he had playing real low while we blew some weed and I listened 2 him speak.
He is from trinidad and he has a real heavy accent. He passed the blunt 2 me and said
"Ron-shine,I have ears and me listen,and me ears tell me that you have people scared around
here hey?". I just smiled and shook my head. He continued "What will you do with all this
fear? 2 much fear make people tell the wrong people what's going on. You have 2 be *mart
ron-shine and give people a way out man! You shoot 2 kill but if man don't want 2 be killed
then man tell and you in jail! You must think! Think ron-shine! You and ye' brother are
good boys and u father is good man but you must think or enemy will get Think /on-Shine!
Think!". I took in everything that law said and it made dot of sense. I stepped out of
the car 2 get some air and saw pain coming around the corner with her backpack on just
looking beautiful and spreading all type of beauty through the community. •
She smiled when she saw me and said "Oh you was around here. I ain't know you was up
here". I said "Yeah,me and law was just talking". Law is Pam's grandfather. I don't know
if it was the weed or what but I looked at pain and she looked like a goddess that had
downgraded in2 a human being. She went around Sr the car 2 the driver's side so she could
talk 2 law and the weed just had me zoning out I was just staring at her face and the
-- details. I started wondering what was on COD's mind when he told the angels 2 give him
a blueprint 4 pamela . saigeent. I've read the webster's dictionary version of what beautiful
iS supposed 2 mean but She defies that meaning. I know that people say that we live in
a world where beauty to in the eye of the beholder,but society and the people who believe
that are wrong because Pamela Sergeant is living proof that beauty is in the eye.of the
designer,and whoever deeigued pam's face created a masterpiece cause she's flawless and
perfect just the way she is. I stared at her beauty 4 a couple more minutes and then I
told her that I had 2 leave. She wanted 2 go with me but I didn't let her. Pam is so fucking loyal and if she fuck with you she don't care if the world is against you she's riding
with you. I love that about her so much cause the world needs more people like her in
it. I love Pam and I couldn't live with myself if she was with me and some shooting popped
off and she got hurt cause of me so I used 2 try my best 2 stay away from her but her
heart is as big as this world and until the day that they put the handcuffs on us shawas right by my side. Her and my little brother Lou Diamonds.
A few gays later I go surrounded by multiple cops and a helicopter while I was inside
of a a-plus mini mart o 74th and ogontz. I saw them coming 2wards the store and Lou diamonds and pam was with me. B4 they got there I pulled lou 2 the side and said "I want you
2 leave and take paw with you". Lou said "I ain't leaving you man cause they might try
riA dacyj
2 kill you in this store and they gotta kill me too then". I smiled at lou cause I knew
he meant every word. I looked at lou and said "Somebody gotta live 2 tell my story little
bre",and Iou looked at me like he wanted .2 cry and was like "Fuck that man! I ain't leaving!". The cops drove up and pointed all of their guns at me. I iaid for my iced tea I
vas buying and I walked out of the store first. I looked in pam's eyes and I could tell
that she was doing eierything in her power not 2 cry right there on the spot. They cuffed
me and I began the nett phase of my journey in
I got sent back 2 the county prison at C.F.C.F. 2 await my transfer to giaterford prison.
My mom came 2 see me that week and she cried in the visiting room. When I was home I didn't
allow my mom 2 spend her money cause I was making sure she had everything she needed.
The morning b4 I got locked up,I went shopping and took my mom with me and bought her
some clothes and sneakers she wanted. Then I took her,her husband,and my uncle kevin to
breakfast at the old country buffet and my mom told me that I was the reason why she always
has a smile on her face and at this visit she asked me if I remembered when she told me
that. I told her I remembered and she said "You are my best friend and now I don't have
nobody I can talk 2 out here. I miss you so much and I just been crying since they took
you",and she started 'crking.'I wiped away her tears and told her "Mom I know you been
through slot in ya' life and alot of people abandoned you but I'm not going 2 be added
2 that list. I'm coming up out of here. I just need you 2 stay strong 4 me girl. Can u
do that 4 me? Cause if u in here crying and then I start crying,which one of us is gonna
be able 2 see where we going through all of them damn tears?",and she started laughing
and said "Boy,u always know how 2 make me laugh,U make me sick!". I said "Mom we good.
It might take some time but I'm gonna prove that I ain't do this shit and I'm out. So
just be patient and keep ya face dry",and she started laughing again. Our visit ended
and I gave her a hug and told her I love her. She told me 2 call her and left. When I
got 2 my cell I wrote her this poem titled "Purposely" and here it is:
"Why did this world have 2 curse U
4 being a woman that was black?
And at times when U couldn't feed us
u-were forced 2 lay on ya l back
Mom,I apologize 4 all of you pain
as well as your internal sacrifice
I was just 2 young 2 understand
the trials and tribulations of living life
Thank U 4 being honest with me
at times when u could've lied
And I pray that GOD grants u heaven
4 all of the times that u cried
Cuz' in my eyes u tried
and 4 that I will always love u
Cuz' until they've walked a mile in ya r shoes
nobody has a right 2 judge u
U were abused,raped,and tortured
yet somehow u remained strong
Momma in my eyes u were always right
even when this cold world considered u wrong
And no matter what I got ya' back mom
so u will never be alone
I just wish that I could be with u
on the day that GOD takes u back home"....
My mom got this poem and broke down crying. I understand that their are alot of black
women who have succumbed 2 the drug epidemic and that continuosly blame themselves 4 what
happened 2 their children or that don't feel beautiful or loved and I always tried my
beat 2 make sure that my mom never felt like that. She put forth the effort 2 get the
help that she needed 2 overcome her addiction and she fought 2 get her kids back and she
deserves credit 4 that. Us as black people always try 2 throw peoples faults or mistakes
in there face instead of acknowledging the change that the person has made. My mom made
mistakes but she fought 2 correct them and I love her so much 4 that. She's my heart!
Due 2 the brother of the man I was accused of shooting and trying 2 kill being in the
prison with me and their family putting a million dollar restraining order on me,I was
administrated 2 the hole right after the visit with my mom. While I was in the hole I
really started thinking about slot of things that I missed and should've paid attention
to and I started thinking about all of the women out in the world. But one memory popped
in my head that I wasn't expecting 2 pop up. They say that the mind has a strange way
of processing information and putting things in their proper context. The day before I
got arrested,I got a message from my oldhead big brian that he needed 2 speak 2 me and
it was real important. I met him at club jaguar's that night and we talked. He hugged
me tight and I almost couldn't breathe! I sat down and he said "I been looking 4 u all
day cause I had this dream that woke me up in a cold sweatan the dream,you and tyriek
was in a shootout and you was shooting at a guy and then you came from around the car
you was behind and went head up with the guy and you got killed and tyriek got away".
He took a sip of his drink and continued and said "Rhonshawn,that shit was so real that
it woke me up out of my sleep and I said I gotta find you and tell you cause if I can
save ye life I will". In my cell thinking 2 myselfpfte I now understood what this dream
meant. I was taking it as meaning a physical death at that time but it was a judicial
death that he was talking about. Sometimes GOD sends angels 2 give us messages,warnings,or
signs but they come 2 us in human form and since slot of us are spooked out we miss out
on these blessings and warnings.
I got a letter from someone I never expected 2 hear from again after I was in the hole
4 a month now. I got a letter and a picture from Keisha Rush. She made my fucking day!
She had gotten my info from my grandmother who lived across the street from her and wrote
me. At first I wasn't going 2 write her back cause I really didn't know what 2 say. I
was stressing like a mutha fucka and my brain wasn't even functioning right. I read the
letter about five times b4 I responded 2 it. I just kept staring at her picture and how
beautiful she is. We started writing each other and I noticed that we were headed in a
direction that neither one of us could stop. I have a tendency 2 follow my heart and sometimes it gets me in trouble and sometimes it leads me 2 bliss but I feel like as long
as I'm true 2 my heart then I can never go wrong and any pain that I do encounter while
following my heart on this journey is pain that I am supposed 2 experience so that I can
grow and learn from it. I fell deeply in love with keisha. She blew my mind! I never in
a mil/ion years thought that I would find a woman that would be as loyal and understanding
as keisha rush is when it comes 2 me. She knows things about me that my own family doesn't
know about me. The love that I have 4 her is different then the love I have 4 other women
or other people that I love, She is sneaky and manipulative as hell,I mean what woman
isn't? But what I love about her so much is that if she sees that her sneakiness or craftiness is hurting me or I can't take what she's doing,she'll stop it or she'll let me know
that she loves me and I'm still her baby.She protects me from pain that she knows she
can cause me and I love her so much 4 that cause it means that she cares.
I ended up getting transfered 2 graterford a few weeks later and me and keisha got tighter. She occupied a place in my heart that was closed and through our communication I discovered that I was doing the same with her. Keisha was falling in love with me just like
I was falling in love with her but we were both scared of going 4ward 4 different reasons.
She was scared because she didn't want 2 commit 2 me and invest all of her time,energy,and
heart in2 me only 2 have me come home and hurt her cause I was lying 2 her in the letters
I was writing her,which was understandable. But I was scared because I was fighting the
death penalty and I didn't want 2 get involved with her emotionally and she leave when
I really needed her and I die an emotional death in here and lose my mind and can't fight
2 get out of here. We both knew that it was going 2 happen because it was headed esivverfAcrealready when I was on the streets so all we were doing now was continuing something that
was already in the making. Just 2 ease her mind I wrote this first poem 2 her titled "Don't
give me ya heart" and it went like this:
give me
A vfr-niti
"Don't give me ya' heart
if U R afraid 2 experience eternal bliss
With me U have 2 drop ye guard
and not B afraid of a little danger and risk
So if U truly believe that U R brave
then come follow me in the dark
Let go of all of ye' inhibitions
and then maybe we can start
There will be no secrets or lack of trust
once is finally prepare 4 this ride
Just put ya r faith in me keisha
and 2gether we will overcome this tide
So sit back and just relax
exhale and let ya' mind go free
I know other men have tried
but they will never compare 2 me
Allow me 2 succeed where others failed U
cue they didn't cater 2 ya' mind
So I'll be sure not 2 rush baby
Cut' loving a woman like U takes time
So don't be afraid 2 let me in
embrace me and have a little faith
U gotta ignore that lil' voice in ye head
that keeps telling U that should wait
Becuz' all of my love is here waiting 4 U
and I promise that we'll never be apart
But if U R afraid 2 fall in love Keisha.
than babygirl,please don't give me ye' heart" ••••
Keisha wrote me a letter and a poem back ti tled "Soulmates" that blew my minei.because
I didn't even know that she knew how 2 write poetry. In her poem soulmates.she took all
of the strengths and weakenesses that me and her both have and she pointed out how we
compliment each other. It touched me because I felt her emotion in that poem. I doubt
thatshe will ever be emotionally compelled 2 write a poem about another man as intensed
as she wrote that poem about me. I responded 2 her poem,soulmates,with a poem titled "4ever
in ya' heart" and it went like this:
"4ever in ye' heart"
"Could this really B real?
At 1st we became friends
that understood how love can make u feel
Did I imagine this or am I dreaming?
this chemistry and bond we just can't deny
when 2 people love unconditionally
through obstacles,no matter what,they still try
At times I sit back and marvel
at the relationship that U and I have
Sometimes U feel so close 2 me
that I can even hear U laugh
Just have faith in me keisha
trust me babygirl,I know you're scared
Allow me 2 succeed where others failed
and I promise I'll take U there
If I was ya mom or tense
I know that u would trust me .
I'm in no rush 2 get physical with u girl
my only goal is making u fall in love with me
SO embrace me tightly with ya' mind
and i promise U we will never B apart
Then U won't ever have 2 worry About being alone
Bcuz' I'll 4ever B in ye" heart"....
R &SG ktott)
• 2 weeks later I got a visit from her and she came in the visiting room like she owned
it. I gave her a hug and didn't kiss her and she gripped me up by the collar of my jumpsuit
and said "Nigga where my k*ss at?". I smiled and we kissed. Keisha was just so aggressive
and emotional. When she's in love With a man it's all or nothing. She doesn't halfstep
anything and she wants ya' undivided attention at all times or she'll go 2 war with u
Until she gets it. Keisha used 2 come visit me every week like clockwork. Sometimes she
would bring my mom with her when she tame. I remeMber on one particular visit,keisha asked
me what does the girl phyllis look like that's lying on u?". I told her what phyllis looked •
like and then I asked. "Why u ask me that?",and keisha responded "I think I be seeing her
and I just Wanted 2 know". I called home that night and talked 2 my oldhead Kip,who is
my hemie mont's older brother and as eoon as begot on the phone he was like "My Mizann,how
are you_dning? what you need?". Kip used 2 always take money 2 my grandmother 4 Me.and
check up on my family. He is a loyal Oldhead and I'll never 4get him. I told him that
I was cool and he said "Man, g etsba is Just like you. When I see her I see you. She special
lan,keep her on ya' hip and She don't play no names about you.She be checking these nut
ass niggas out here 'about you!". I said " yeah". He said "Yeah youngin'she loves you and
she be letting these nigos know". I told kip.2,make sure that she was cool out there
and 2 let her ; know that I love her and he said that he would and 2 let him know if I needed
anything. I told him that'I would and I hung up.
Me and tkriek went 2 our preliminary hearing 2gether and since my address was a south
philly address I went in and told the judge that I didn't know him and I'm geographical
and I don't deal with any cats from north philly so I don't know dude. Tyriek got severed
off of my case and they made him fight 4 violation cause they didn't have anything against
him in my case now , that he get severed off and Mad Mark ain't show up 2 court. I couldn't
believe that Mad Mark had pointed tyriek out while he was In the hospital and said that
tyriek had something 2 do with him being shot. After a couple years went by I finally
realized why he tried 2 get tyriek locked up. 84 me and his wife jermaine got caught kissing by philsit was rumored that her and tyriek was having an affair. Now tyriek is my
brother so if he was fucking 4 chick I would know and I can be the first 2 put that rumor
2 rese,he wasn't fucking no j ermaine. Could he have? Yes,easilly.but he didn't because
he was so loyal 2 our oldhead Huey that got deported back 2 trtnidad and Jermaine was
Huey chick b4 he got deported. I was down on writ from greene county at this time and
While me and tyriek,waS in,the ho/ding cell we got 2 talk about alot of things. My mind
was so polluted at that tile that I was pushing alot of people away,even tyriek. I didn't
know who I could trust and I had so much anger and revenge in my heart that I couldn't
see things clearly and my vision was blurred.
After seeing tyriek l and keisha coming 2 visit me,I got sent back up 2 greene county.
I didn't care about nothing anymore and I started wilding out and getting in2 fight after
fight. I stayed in the hole for assaulting someone. I became so self destructive that
by 2002 I had turned against keisha and tyriek. I started thinking that tyriek was going
2 tell on me and lie and try 2 put this case on me cause I started thinking about when
the detective paged me on the streets and put tyriek code in so I would call back. I wrote
my cousin mercy shuler who was in the county and I broke everything down 2 him. He was
hot and sent same Cate it tyriek and tyriek wrote keisha and told her 2 tell me that I
was tripping and 2 let my cousin marty know 2 fall back. I ended up getting the letter
from keisha the week b4 I - got took back down 2 court in the county and I got my man mujahid
from south philly 2 go on tyriek block and bring him 2 me in the law library. He brought
tyriek 2 we and tyriek Was like "Saw Min,u my fucking brother,plus I ain't no rat! I would
R. ,IhoRtlittJ
never do no shit like that 2 u". I looked in his eyes and I saw that he was telling the
truth Mad that me eventhinking he would do something like that 2 me hurted him after
everything me and him done been through but my life was on the line and I couldn't take
no cheaMeai. I was facing the death penalty for two homicides and an attempted murder,
One homicide ended up being dropped due 2.1ack of evidence but 2 this day it's still hanging over my head. I just had aiot of pressure on me and the lawyer I retained sent me
a affidavit for probable cause that didn't have the person's name or signature on it but
the statement said that the person knew me well and that we had discussed the homicides
and the shooting. I never discussed any crimes with anybody and I got stuck on the part
that said the person knew me well and my paranoia caused me 2 turn my gun on my brother.
I even had niggas on the streets saying that shit and they was only repeating it cause
tyriek was in jail and because they finally g ot 2 divide me and him.
It wasn't until years later when I got my lawyer 2 get the confidential section of my
case that I found out that not only didwI have an inactive investigation that was once being conducted against me by a federal‘ nit in philly,I found out that tyriek never uttered a word against me,not once. I was hur. and I felt so fucking awful 4 what I had done.
I found out that they had found my new.ea er number and tyriek's code while going through
his personal belongings at the district. d then / remembered everything clearly. I had
just boluat a nespager cause this chick w stalking me and putting all types of dumb
ass cod
my p er and blowing we up until my memeory was full and I couldn't get no
other page A I got,4*ad one day and smashed the pager on the ground and went and bought
a new one.. After I‘Ot my new number I called tyriek and gave it 2 him and told him 2
WM the ande 007 so4I'll know it was him. Tyriek wrote all of this down and put it in
his phonttoOko while he was on the phone with me as I gave it 2 him. I felt so fucking
bacil So bat! that when I came down on writ in 2001 and thevmade a mistake and put me in
population,I ran in2 one of the guys that my cousin marty had sent at tyriek and I tucked
him up Sly. He-didn't even know who I was or why we had beef until I told him afterwards
and he still didn't understand, I jilSi told him "When the story gets told about how you
went at 4y man,I just need u 2 make sure u let it be known that the nigga u did it 4 fucked
u up 4 Meg at his man". He was still lost but I didn't care. I just needed 2 fuck him
up 2 Clear my conscious. I felt bad about what I did and it almost cost me my fucking
brother lad best friend5
I don't want 2 move too fast here so let we slow it down some 4 you. In 2001 I was found
guilty of first degree murder and after a death penalt y phase I was given a life sentence.
I found out that the probable cause statement that my lawyer forwarded 2 me belong 2 mad
mark's brother wade briscoe. Wade was facing a three strike sentence and 2 get out of
that he lied and used me to turn a 30-60 year sentence 1n2 a 3-6 year sentence. Now prior
2 me being convicted of this crime a million dollar restraining order was issued on me
from a judge An this case stating that I could not have any interaction with mark smith
, aka mad mark and aka shakur smith on facebook,or his family which is why in the year 2000.
when I got arrested and put in C.F.C.F. while wade was there,I was placed in administrative
custody in the hole until I got transfered 2 graterford. While the sheriff's were preparing
2 take us upstate,they slipped up and put me and wade in the same room. They also put
my homie kenyatta mosley in the room with us who got locked up in the year 2000 and was
going 2 court on this particular day. Kenyatta knew about what was going on with us and
knew that these cats was lying on me and he went at wade in the recieving room. I knew
that this would backfire on me so I stopped it and got in between kenyatta and wade and
I told kenyatta that we can't do it like this cause my life is on robtand itlll all
come out in court that his brother is lying. At this time I wasn't Wabrial'aby homicides. Kenyatta understood_and , backed up off of wade.
Zan. He avowwees-wergoc 4 graterrore mere was scared and kept trying 2 farm 2 say that him and Pam had something going on just 2 cut in cause he knew hav tf1ht
me and pam was. I called pan and told her what was being said and she denied it and said
that he was lying. I wanted 2 s t om p his face in 4 lying on her like that but again I was
fi ghting 4 my lifej literally/ so I had 2 proceed with caution and put that on the backburner
4 now. They sent me to 1)-block with my oIdheads Anthony "Egito" Royster from erie avenue,
Curtis "Royale Hrinson,and Frank Dever°. I called tyriek immediately and let him know
I was cool. He had got released and was making sure that everything went smooth with me.
l ificke46
Q 111441401W
I put him on the phone with eggo so they could catch up with each other. At this time
I was only charged with the attempted murder of Mark "Mad Mark" Smith. His brother Wade
got put on the block that I was on and as soon as he saw that I was on the block he ran
2 my oldhead frank and Abdul Hardy and told them that he didn't have anything 2 do with
the situation between me and his brother because his brother was a rat and was telling
so frank and abdul came and spoke 2 me in the big yard and told me that dude is going
2 mind his business and he don't got nothing 2 do with it. I told abdul that I don't trust
dude and I don't believe him and abdul said "Rhonshawn,wade is my youngboyl and he know
not 2 go against me and he know not 2 do no tellingd got him". I looked at abdul and
frank and said "I don't trust that nigga". The next day wade went 2 the block rep who
was my oldhead Curt Beyah and told him that he wanted 2 get moved off of the block. Beyah
was already familiar with what was going on so he told him 2 go 2 the unit managers' office
and let'em know. That day wade got moved off of the block. He stayed on the block 4 two
days tops! 2 months later I got charged with a homicide due 2 wade calling the district
attorney when he got moved off of the block and saying that me,him,eggo,and curt beyah
was talking about the homicide and I said that I did it. I was hotl I never even had a
conversation with this cat due 2 what his brother was doing 2 me and out of all things
why would our first conversation be a confession? I couldn't believe this shit! It showed
me just how bad these people wanted a conviction cause if they would've even looked at
the evidence 4 a second I would've been free!
My oldheads eggo,frank,and beyah came and testified on my behalf that we never had no
conversation like that and that wade wasn't even on the block with me long enough 2 talk
with me. His cell was all the way in the front of the block and my cell was B2-48 which
was all the way in the back of the block. My cell was literally the last cell on the block!
The jury never even got 2 hear that this man is the brother of a man that I'm accused
of trying 2 kill and that this man was just caught stealing out of a safe at lowe's which
made this crime his third strike and had him facing 30-60 years! I took all of that in
and it made me bitter but bitter 4 all of the wrong reasons. I cut everybody off. I didn't
want 2 speak or deal with anybody. I got consumed with a rage that destroyed everything
I put my hands on. I turned on keisha and if it wasn't 4 her I would've got the death
penalty. The prosecution's star witness,Phyllis,was missing and nowhere 2 be found. I
was so consumed with rage that I even turned on keisha and pushed her away after all of
the sacrifices that she made 4 me. Emotionally I was numb. I couldn't feel anything. All
I remembered was the judge sentencing me 2 life! I would've rathered them take me out
back and shot me in the head rather then drag it out like this. I really didn't know what
my next move was going 2 be so until I figured it out I stayed going back and forth 2
the hole for assaults.
I even ended up turning on my babygirl Pam. When Mark's wife jermaine was talking crazy
about me Pam caught her and punched her in the face. Like I said,Pam is loyal and dependable 2 a fault! If she's with you it's all the way and I love her 4 that! Pam wrote me
a three page letter checking me 4 my nut shit and I went and did some even more corny
shit and gave this chick I was fucking with pam phone number and told her 2 say that she
was my sister and curse pam out 4 me. I can't hurt pam so I got somebody else 2 do it.
I love her and care about her 2 much 2 do that so I got this other chick 2 do it which
was nut shit cause whatever go on with me and pain stay between us. I was out of pocket
but at that time it felt right. In my heart,pam is precious and I could never hurt her
but I felt like if I got somebody else 2 do it than the blame wouldn't be on me as much.
So I want 2 make a public apology 2 u pam:"Pamela "J.C" Sargeant,I apologize 4 hurting
u and having that chick call ya' crib with that bullshit and I hope that u can 4give me
4 doing that dumb ass shit girl. I would never intentionally hurt u or anything connected
2 u paw and that's my word! U R my heart and please don't ever 4get that!".
My little brother Vincent "Champ" Talley came 2 greens county and I barely recognized
him due 2 him getting so big. I was out running the track one day and I heard somebody
yell "What's up Rhonshawn?". I turned around and looked in his face and he looked familiar
2 me but i couldn't place it and he said "Rhonshawn it's me,vincent,lil l champ". I said
"Oh shit!" and ran over and hugged him tight. Champ has been my voice of reasoning in
these camps and alot of cats have got breaks on the strength of champ. In 2002 I went
2 the hole for fucking up a white supremacist named jimmy. This so called racist tough
guy told on me,my homie angelo romero from richard ellen projecta,my homie aki jones from
norris street,my homie michael "Mikal" Jackson from somerville,and my little cousin Tone
from south philly. This white supremacist came at me early in the morning at breakfast
with a knife and tried 2 stab me. The day prior 2 this me and my little cousin tone had
beat down these two racist whiteboyls ap-and the aryan nation pet a his or me. The next
day while me and mikal was walking 2 breakfast and was in the vesta view of the block,I
saw jimmy fumbling with his knife in his waist. Mikal was on the side tying up his boots
and I was like "Mikey,the boyl jimmy is about 2 try 2 stab me but he don't see u.Stay
where u at and I'm gone keep him focused on me". Mtkey stayed on the side of the door
and just like I said he would,jimmy came directly at me swinging his knife. Mikey sidestepped him and punched him right in the face and he dropped his knife and I ran up on him
and punched him in the gut and he balled up while we fucked him up. The cops had saw everything and was running over so I turned to mikey and was like "Mikey,they ain't see you
do nothing so go head 2 breakfast.I got this one". Mikey hesitated cause he didn't wanna
leave me by myself but I was like "Mtkey go head,I got it!",and he reluctantly went 2
breakfast. Lt.Lipscomb,a black lieutenant,ran up on me with eight other guards and said
"Don't worry about nothing jackson.I saw that he attacked you and all you did was defend
yourself and that's how I'm going 2 write it up". I got taken 2 the hole and Lt.Lipscomb
wrote the writeup up exactly how he said that he would. I went 2 the hearing and instead
of being found not guilty,the misconduct got dismissed without prejudice and Lt.Lipscomb
rewrote the misconduct. When I got the misconduct I couldn't believe my eyes. In this
new misconduct he had changed the whole misconduct which was against policy,and now he
had wrote that he saw me swing on jimmy. Jimmy got 30 days and I got 90 days and administrated 2 the hole for 21 years!
It was then that I finally realized that I've been accusing the wrong people of being
my enemy. I found out that the guy jimmy's father was high rank in the aryan brotherhood
and was tight with the captain of security at greene county. I now understood why Lt.Lipscomb changed his story and lied in his report. I got burned 4 my trays,they used 2 throw
my mail away,the trays that I did get used 2 have piss in them or spit from chewing tobacco
and they would come in my cell for security inspections and try 2 assault me while I was
handcuffed. I was on I-Block with Arthur "Chettowayo" Johnson and Russell "Maroon" Shultz
and this trip 2 the hole was a blessing in disguise. I needed 2 see what I was seeing
from these guards,I needed 2 feel what I was feeling from these guards,and I needed 2
experience the oppression that I was experiencing from these guards. All of my life I
had been targeting other blackmen and labeling other blackmen as being my enemy but here
it is I'm in the hole,illegaly and unconstitutionally,because I stood up against a white
supremacist group and now I'm being retaliated against and tortured and oppressed 4 being
a man. What type of man watts patiently while he starves another man 2 death? It takes
a special type of hate 2 be patient enough 2 watch a man deteriorate from not eating due
2 you starving him. Even my enemies on the street got enough respect 4 me 2 just put a
bullet in my head and get it over with. I came 2 prison with confused rage but being in
greene county's hole prioritized it.
I used 2 be so weak from not eating that I could hardly get out of bed but I still cursed
them out and they used me hollering and screaming 2 validate them starving me. A oldhead
by the name of Chettowayo saw whet was going on with me and spoke 2 me. He said "What's
ye name brother?". I said "my name is shit". He said "How long are you going 2 allow those
devils 2 out think you brother?". I said "I'm not.I'm behind this door and it's not much
that I can do from behind the door". He said "It's slot that you can do from behind that
door,but you choose not 2 find out what it is you can do". Now 64 I go on,I need 2 explain
2 you who Arthur "Chettowayo" Johnson is. He's a political prisoner who has escapes on
his jacket and is a threat 2 the whole Pa.Department of Corrections. He is a very influential prisoner and highly educated. I asked him "Well,what can I do?". He said "First you
need some outside support. You need people from the outside 2 apply pressure 2 the administration here so they can see that you have a support system on the outside.When they see
support on the outside then they know that they can't just do anything 2 you without it
being repercussions 4 their actions.Then you need to write to Marjorie J. Fox.She's the
district attorney around here.Write her and let her know what's going on with you",and
he-gave me the address to the district attorney's office so I can write 2 her. I told
Chettowayo thank you and I went 2 work. At this time I was married 2 my wife Charlene
and she didn't play no games when it came 2 me. She called up 2 the jail daily and complained about me. She was also an eastern star so she knew alot of people in high places
and she had all types of people calling up there on my behalf. I met another Cldhead named
Maroon who used 2 give me books and literature 2 read so I could strengthen my mind. Nifmem
While I was going through thie.rereducetiOn_brehettOwemend Maroon t I was told that
I had 2 pack up en that I could g0 down to court to the county. r got seat to C.F.C.F.
on state road. When I went to court I ran in2 Tyriek who had gotten rearrested by the
YIDS. We were ii different cages but we got 2 talk. When I went to my hearing,Mark "Shakne
Smith was testifying against me and told the judge that I shot him and pot the gun 2 his
head and squeezed the trigger and by the grace of GOD the gun Jammed which turned a aggrovoted shooting into an attempted murder. While I had Mark testifying against me in the
front of the courtroon,Frank "Scooch" Yaeger was there with his father in the same courtroom that 1 was to waiting to be -called and once he saw me he pulled a cop to the side
and told them what I had did 2 him on the streets and he pressed charges against me. Those
people wanted me so bad that they gave him a deal 2 throy his case out as tong as he went
4ward and testified against mi. So after I walked out of "the courtroom,a detective came
and got me out of the cell and rearrested me for the chargeeScooch pressed against me.
I had 2 go through the three day district ordeal all over aitin.
I was in the holding cage for two 40s and a detective ?afterson at the 35th District
one and spoke to me. He took me to an interrogation room and eat me down. He had a file
in front of him, Re Mid' "Rhonshawn Jackson!" and smiled. Then he continned t "You and Tyriek
have been busy thuh?". -didn't answer his so he proceeded t "Listen,we t I don't need you
2 talk. Not yet at least t juse listen 4 now. I'm gonna tell you what I've got and then
you can nod your head or give ie any_other signal that you wenn& give 2 let me know if
044urate Or not t okay?". I locket down at the floor and took my mind 2 the streets.
Oe opened up the file he had in front: of him and said "Here's what we got. Mark Smithtyou
probably know hill as Shakur twho was a drugdeeler but thanks to you his turned over a new
Leaf and has since wont lenit t ess you and this guy rogers competition ,so you and roger.
COnspire to get rid of smith but for some reason the gun malfunctionedand instead of
smith sticking to the street code that you guys live by t he comes running to us with open
aims and is willing to testify against you guys for immunity for his crimes. Now,I did
background check on your boy roger* and he's going to be indicted soon,' can almost
guarantee you that. The FEDs have been watching him closely and they are now aware of
you also nowf so I wouldn't be suprised if you were brought up on some type of conspiracy
charge.. Now t let's see heren t and he went through some more papers in the file he was holding in his hands.
He looked up at no t ebook his head and continued his weak ass gemenhonshawn,you have
s double homicide that you're fighting,is that right?". Before I answered he said,"And
a attempted murder on our commonwealth witness. We also have a statement from a Metteure
Jackson who says that you pulled a gun on her and told her to mind her business but no
charges have been brought against you for that yet. Just briefly going over your file
_I_see_that_you have cases in south philly also. Bus y man Mrdeckson t and they're going
for the Death Penalty. I'd hate to see such an honorable menlike yourself go through
thee t and then he smirked. He then said "You do know that you don't have to die in a cell
like one of these animake t don't Yoe: You're boy Tyriek has been coning up with some' large
quantities of cocaine lately. You got any ides Shore he's getting it from?". I laughed
on the inside and thought 2 myself "I can't believe this weak ass shit actually be working
on people". He said some more shit I wasn't tr ying to hear and after he saw that I was
Practicing my 5th amendment right-THE RIGHT TO REMAIN SILENT!!! ,obviously unlike the other
so called gangsters who have been in this same predictament the escorted ma back to my
After I got fingerprinted sad processed through,' went back to C.F.C.F. My mom came
tone me the next day and cried as soon as she saw me. After calming her down she looked
me in the ayes and said n r miss you so much. I be wearing ye shirts and sleeping in ye'
room *lot. It's Just not the same without you there". I smiled and told her 2 be strong
4 me and 2 stay focused, She told me that her hnabind f Mr•Gary had died also. That horted
me because Mr.Gary was a good dudesecretch that t Mr.Gary was a hell of a dude! I respected
his because anybody that can put up with my crazy ass mom and calm her down besides me
gotta be a good dude! Mr.Gary had name and saw me Store I came upstate and talked to me.
Ho had a life sentence hack in the day that he gave beck and he used 2 always tell me
that Just because they say no don't mean that I can't say yes. He was a humble strong
individual and he wilt be sorely missed. My moM told me that she was out there by herself
and I looked in her eyes and saw her pain and sadness. I was her backbone and support
and I didn't really think about how the shit I was doing in them streets would hurt the
number one women in my life, I felt like crying when I watched my mom hurting like that.
killed me inside and made me reall y start thinking about m y life. I had lost alot and
my heart was hurting badl y . I was the cause of hurting the one woman that I promised r
would always protect and be there for. I knew that if I wanted this 2 stop then I would
have 2 change slot of things in my life. I hugged my mom and told her I iteurd call her
2nite. She Left and when I came out of the visiting room I ran in2 my man Quincy "Bo"
Glover and we got 2 talk.
I let him know about what scooch and a few other cats did and he let me know that he
was Is there because the chick lisa that I was fucking had told on him and his uncle and
pressed charges against them. Bo's uncle Dean was my oldhead and when me and his nephew
Loney went through somethin g ,uncla Dean stepped in and nedn us squash that shit when I
was home. I used to call Dean my uncle too. So said thatht-would let Dean know that I
was in the jail. I ran in2 Desathet thursday at the lay:Xibrary and he hugged the hell
out of es. I said "Damn oldhead,OWP'u p ? I wanted 2 see you but I ain't weans' make
no chi chi with yout",and we both started laughing, We said "Youngin s .that One bitch
lies you was fucking got me and Ay nephew caught up in some bullshitri. I said "What she
do?", Be said "I started fucking the bitch end she was engaged to this sae -who used
2 keep these certified checks in some cabinet locked up end the bitch got inibere and
asked me if I could get'em cashed * *, I tell the bitch I can and she give me about $25,000
worth a t om". Her man come hone that night and I guess he peeped that the checks is gone
and the bitch tell the [email protected] that I . paped her and took the jointer. I laughed and said
"So how did Bo get caught up?". Naiad "Because I took my nephew 2 go meet the bitch'
end told her that he could Bot t om tasted so he got conspiracy". I said "Listen.she work
at a bar up my end. Let me all her and let her know that yell family". Be said "Nephew
if you take care-of this t me and Bo will owe you and you know we got you!". I said "I know,
now let me go use this phone: I hugged Dean and left.
Fuelled the bar where lisa was a cook at and asked for her, She got on the phone and
was like "Why the fuck you just now calling me? And you betta not have no bitches coming
2 see you either nigger. I had 2 laugh cause here it is she out there fucking and sucking
end still trying 2 lock me down. Lisa was 35 years old and I was 20 when I was fucking
her. She got a body that can stop traffic and a face 2 match but she just love fucking
official street aiggas. I said "Yo.I need you 2 do me a favor babygirl". She said "What
is it? I hope you don't need ma 2 bring somen in there cause I'm on probation right now
but I'll be off in a couple months bad'. I started shaking my head and couldn't help but
laugh. Lisa was crazy ass hell but I lucked with her heavy thought I said " got
my peoples Bo and Peen locked up and I need you 2 fall back off of that 4 me baby". She
said flub Uh,Rhonshawn you know I'll do anything 4 you bey,but that nines Dean been sending
moths, fuckes around here telling me they gone kill me and shit! Fuck that pussy!". I
seinisamyou_love me?". She said "Yeah boor . I said "Do you trust me?". She said "Yeah",
I said "Then know that I'm not gonna lot anything happen 2 you girl. This my family so
can't let this play this. You know how I feel about rats and you know how I
down. You my heart and I'm not letting a nine hurt you bebygirlsso back up off of
let Dean and Bo know that you off limits and you just want them 2 leave you
alonookay?". Lisa said "Shawn,you lams not let them hurt me". I said "Lisaj i m the same
*igen that pistol whipped ye husband for putting his hands on remember that?".
She said "Yeah". I said "Alright.well I ain't change. I'm the semo nigger I love you and
you got my word that I'm not letting nobody hurt you,okey?". She said "A/right,I'mme fell
back but I wanna come see you". I gave her my info and told her I'll see her next week
and hung up.
I saw Bo and Dean on friday when I went 2 jumeh. I pulled them 2 the side and told'em
"Yo,I talked 2 her and she falling beck but yell gotta promise me that nothing will happen
2 her because I gave my word that as long as she fall back that this shit was over and
nothing would happen 2 her". Dean started smiling and said "You still love that bitch.
don't you?". I smiled and said "Listen04/1 gotta let up off of her 4 me". Bo smiled and
said "Yeah he love her". I said "Tall should be good mow", Dean excused himself and went
to use the bathroom before we made prayer. Bo asked me "What's up with that scooch situation?', I told him "Nobody can find him right now". Bo said "1 got that. When ye' next
court date?". I told him and he said "As long as Use play her part I l l/ be out in time
and you'll be good. Favor 4 a favor",and Winked at mi. Lisa fell back and Bo and Dean
got out. I went to my hearing for scooch case and he was Aeno show all three times and
my lawyer got the case thrown out. Bo ended up getting killed a couple months after ha
wont home but I wanna state something 4 the . record. Quincy "Bo" Glover was a lo yal Rau
R . JA.01000)
end he kept his word. If he
he Wat goint 2 0.40eethie$ 4 YOU then you Could bet
ye life that it would be done. It ain't too many real:niggas lef
out here that's like
that. Aloe of peopledidn't know that me Bo and Dean lucked with each other like that
but I got older cousins naiad Michael and karats that live right across the Street from
them and my cousin michael and So as tight. Bo played this game by the rules and he died
protecting another black sista that was being beat on by some other cat because that's
who we are as men-PROTECTORS!!! Bo,l love you man and thank you 4 ya' sacrifice! It meant
slot? me and I'll never 4get it! Stay up and keep me a spot ready homie!
My aunt Tonia came to see me the next monday and when ehe came in She said "You know
I don't do this jail shit but I was missing you so I hadtcome kick it with you, How
you holding up?". I said "tot the most part I'm good. I'm just putting alot of pieces
to this puzzle 2gether. What's up With you though?". She. said.
fine. I saw. Kenny and
he started talking About why you gone have ye nephew tole at me like that and he talking
about when he see -you it's on and 111 : this other tough shit tryna' save face but I just
laughed in his factand-went in the house". I said "yeshi-fuZic that nista! I : got bigger
shit to worry about. These folks is pushing 4 the death *Salty now*. My tint's eye* leeed-:
lately started watering and she said "Seamy don't let these people kill yoUl Oh my QOM",
and put her hands over her month1 grabbed het hands end said "Tonle the streets couldn't
kill me so why would I let some civilians do whet my enemies couldn't? I'm fighting aunzek
that's uto I am. So cool out with all - that soft shit!". ShtaMiled and punched me on the
arm and said "Shut up! I just don't want nobody 2 kill you boy!". I loved my mint Tonit,
cause she was a warrior! My aunt had a crazy fight game and used 2 even fight my father.
She had a quick temper and would beat bitches down! Out of all of her nephews,I'm her
favorite. Me and her are the closest. Ma and her talked some more and then she left,
Instead of going beck 2 my block after my visit,I snuck down in the kitchen and as soon
as cutebutt saw me she went on tilt! She was working in the bakery at this time and I
looked in the window of the door and she had a nista all in her face but I knew the nigga.
my man Black fromtlumberg projects and he family. Cutebutt saw me and opened the
door 2 let me in. Black said "God damn boyloyou pop up like toast!" and hugged me. I hadn't
seen Black in a while. The last time I saw him we had stomped my old telly brains out
and I got kicked off of the block. We talked end got caught up and then Black said "I'mma
let you do ya' thing with ya l girl cut' I know you ain't down here too long". I hugged
him again end went and hollered at cutebutt. She said "How long are you down here for?".
I said "I don't know,probably a couple more weeks". She scraped her nails up my leg and
brushed across my dick and said "I mean,how long are you in this kitchen for?",and smiled.
I said "I don't know,I snuck down here cause I wanted to see you". She said "Hold on.
Stay right here,and she walked away and opened the door to the bakery and turned around
to everybody and said "Alright is dont.I'll see yell ?morrow. We gotta' close
upi". My man Black looked at me and eodded. I smiled at him and he Game and hugged Me -and whispered in my ear "I see you still got it Maga". I laughed and watched evrybody
leave out.
Cutebutt walked up 2 me after everybody was gone and said "Come On!" ,and re-opened the
door and took me in2 the staff. bathroom. Once we got in there she took her key and opened
up the door where the toilet was at and pulled me in there. She rammed her tongue down
my throat as she pulled down my county blue pants and pulled out my dick, She stroked
MO Si she backed me up ordain the wall. She then squatted down with my dick still in
her grip and then leaned 4ward and slowly sucked on the head of my dick. I moaned "Damn
girl". She bobbed her beadback and forth like she was trying 2 deep throat me and it
felt so good that I was about 2 bust. I stopped her and made her stand up and I sat down
on the toilet seat with my pants and boxers around my ankles. I looked at her as I stroked
myself and said "Come ride this dick". She said "Ssahhht",placing her index finger near
her mouth and continued "We gotta be able 2 hear the door incase somebody comes". I said
"My Fault" in a low tone. She pulled her pants down and then pulled her panties down and
took one leg out of her pants and took her panties all the way off and held them in her
Then she straddled me little by little and started bringing her tight pussy down on
my dick. She gripped the handicap railing near the toilet and started 2 ride me. It felt
so good that I grabbed her ass and brought her down harder on my dick and she let out
a loud scream as I pushed damn near the whole thing up in her. She got mad and whispered
in my ear "You bona stop! This my job you fucking with!". I just smiled and continued
to thrust in harepulling her ha ir AO t44k4ng the shit out of her, She tit go of the raillag and wrapped her arms around me i smt clutching my body real tight. She moaned "I'm eummles" in my ear and started rockin ilhack and forth and up and down On my lap,,That.shit
felt goo° good that I started moaning "I'm cumming too girl",and then we heard the bathroom
door creak open and cutebutt's eyes got so wide that she looked like a deer stutk in the
headlights. We both stayed still and listened carefully. We heard somebody pissing in
the urinal and I seized the moment and grabbed her ass and tried 2 fuck her some more
while I sucked on her dark chocolate nipples. She whispered in my ear "You battik' atop
boy!". Then we heard the urinal flush and the guy washenis hands and thin left out of
the bathroom. .
Cetebutt gripped , me by my shirt and said "Don't make me fuck you up in here". I said
"Shut up" ,and pulled on her heir and started fucking the shit out of her again. I pounded
her puny repeatedly until I heard her moan "I'm cunning!" agate. Her legs started quivering and she gripped the reitin g end:COntinued 2 ride me. Her pussy was feelin g so tight
and juicy that I grabbed her ass tige:tly and gripped her butt cheeksHeeehe kept throwing
that pussy on me and twirling 'her hips which made me cue*. fucking hard thael mooned
"Deena love you girl!I love 'Vol". She said "You betta!" and came all over my dick.
She fla yed seated on my lap for a few minutes 2 catch he; breath and thee stood up and
put her pants back on and said "I'm off for the next couPledeys but if they keep you
down here just find a way 2 get back down here so I can seeieu before you leavekokay?
Nowbold up and let me see if the coast is clear for you n tand she left out of the bathroom.
A few minutes later she came beck and opened the door and said "Coma On", Leis still
sitting on the toilet with my pants down just incase somebody other than her opened that
door I could always say that I had used the wrong bathroom. I pulled my pants up and left
out the bathroom. When I got 2 the other door that lead 2 the hallway t Ontebutt said "You
gorse sleep good 2nite ain't yOu?".and smiled. I said "yeah". I went 2 walk by her out
the door and she stopped me and said "You love me?",and looked real deep in2 my eyes and
waited 4 my answer. I said "Yeah I love you! Do you love me?". She grabbed my dick through.
ay pants and said "If I didn't,I wouldn't have did what we die. I said "Point taken.
You my heart though girl. You know that right?",and I grabbed her hand and held it While
I looked in her eyes. She said "Yeah I know" and she was about to pay something else but
stopped and then said "Go head before they catch you down here". I left out and walked
out the. door in2 the hallway and right b4 I turned the corner.cutabutt called my name
and when I looked at her she said "I love you!". I smiled at her and went back 2 my block.
That wednesday Lisa came 2 see me and brought me some underclothespe towel tand a washcloth. She told me that she sent me $100 too. we sat down and talked and she told me that
she missed me and asked me why I never reached out 2 her. I told her 'that / knew she ós
married and I didn't 'canna come in between her marriage. She said *That never stopped
You before. I would've been there for you and did what you needed Me to do and just told
my husband that we was friends". I smiled at her because Lisa never ceased to amaze me.
I said "Lise t the last time ya' husband thought you was cheatingsbe beat you and put you
in a hospital. I 'ain't want him to do no shit like that again". She grabbed my hand and
said "I know. I remember how you felt when I told you to coma over end you got to my house
and saw my face and said you wasn't going to leave until he came back home, I was so scared
and didn't want you to go to jail,but when he came home and you beat him with that gun
I got to see him feel the same pain that I felt and he felt the same fear that I felt.
I yes thinking to myself like I'm glad I gave this yawls aim this puss-W i sed we started
laughing. She asked me what my case was looking like and I told her. She told me that
if I needed her 2 just let her know. I told her I would and then she left.
I got back to my block and went to my cell and just lid on my bunk and started thinking.
I didn't understand GOD's plan and I was trying to understand this destiny that was planned
for me. I felt like .00D put me in a jungle and was punishing me for being a lion. It just
didn't make any sense to me. I thought about my life and I thought about the beginning.
I came in2 this world having to fight 2 protect mysiblingsaight on the streata t now I'm
fighting 4 my life! I was trapped on a never ending battlefield. I was loyal 2 all my
nigger, on the streets,I represented nod pat on 4 my hood i and I was real with everybody
I tucked with so what was I doing wrong? I wanted 2 change but where I come from they
don't call it smartening up.they call it softening . up. The next day I got packed up so
I could go back to greene county hole. B4 I got out of the hole I'd see my elders. Maroon
and Chettowayo got me physically and. metally in shape. Chettowayo helped me 2 strengthen
my body and Maroon helped me 2 strengthen my mind. On the weekend Chettowayo would give
us quizzes and whoever got them right would get some commissary which was a treat because
we couldn't get any food back there on disciplinary custody status but he could because
he was on administrative custody status. I learned alot from these two political prisoners
and they taught me self discipline. I came 2 the hole an ignorant,wild,reckless nigger
but through their help and guidance . I was leaving out of this hole 2; years later a proud
blackman and I thank these two men 4 seeing something in me that was worthy enough 4 them
2 invest their time and resources in, B4 I left out of the hole in 2004 I promised these
two men that the next time that I got sent 2 the hole that it wouldn't be 4 perpetuating
violence against another blickman. The next time that I came 2 the hole it would be about
a principle or 4 standing up against my oppressor. •
I got out of the hoie in. may of 2004 and I got put back on my old block,B-Block. I got
back in the cell wieh my homie aki Jones from norris street. I was only out of the hole
for a monthjand one day I came back in from mainline and it, someone who is like family
2 me had the dayroom hostage and told me that he wasn't going back in his cell until the
c/o got a lieutenant on the block. His name was Tyree "Hick" Little and if it wasn't him
standing out there I would've went hack in my cell. I asked him what happened and he told
me that the c/o had slammed:this guy named geo,who was alright with us,arm in the door.
We stood out there and b4 you knew it,almost 30 people was standing out there with us.
We stood out there and the response team came on the block and spoke with me and Hick
and gave us his word that if We locked in that we wouldn't be in the hole longer then
30 days b4 we were transfered. He then added "Besides,the guy you are all standing up
4 has already locked in his cell and left you all out here". Me and Hick turned around
and looked and just like he said,geo was in his cell. Me and Hick was mad as fuck but
as least we got out of this racist jail. I got sent 2 SCI-Houtzdale and Hick got sent
back 2 ScI4lyntingdon.
$4 I contlaus'iSi
OnThare to have two different
lawyers in the caurt roptInt,000 tl001AlktiP0,700f..A.0404,44,harra litigating loner
that Sips you fight your actual criminal cassoand you *Vs* mitigating lawyer that hills
You fight the death penalty phis-Oil-you lose your case000 is the most strai ght type
of prodedurs that you can tar So through. Bye* the jat otoilUo to be pistol typos of
Jurors because they have to be able to rota for life or death if you are found guilty
and say laver that can't vote for life or death Is excused, As X sat in this Courtroom
in front of a judge that Isptsagatttad at * &mottos in front O l and that told ma the
mixt time that I Cosa In froata0ail would be in yollAhvt,A long time and she wouldn't
sat" hermit when ay 1,010t*:044001tr tet t he*W.X wedWba'ia trouble- and that I would
not gat a fair trial. Add t hat to the fact that my lawyarpeaked if: I could got I haircut
mod tat eY heard trimmed OP*. 05, ea Oleg to trial for 01 041 Eutder -04.00dteMbilt 2602004
which mit fift000 ,,d17**f te rflaPtalba r 11,2001 ,and the world !radii tandrA0gottes blown
' I had a beard like Oasis bin ad .jnand I saw how the jurors , no lindkinitenflio and I
Maw that if I didn't set a hatraut that I wasn t t get a fair tried in this *our
t *van know that ' ' Aittha (warty*m and thought.
ream 1:104 family aeabsrs that ta-*Yafit wAt least thay ,werthr006 for Pe when et life ni on the linen . My hone GUI,
Mast tems. Bawling: Wet-thirrevtink Chick Mony . I ass.ftaktartift0 aaa tharaveadafau other
Pete* fly tam haUtaariv in harjoyeitnhvoaghout the whole . proceeding and r had to constantly
St her t0 0,10400141100440**ater eharm040. keeniennY m00: P001 for me. twat
is bonito, judge Jens Cut ler• GrainEMOn and she tele'4.004=gss notifies any or fair
is this courtroom. Everyilis 0 lAviat wont to diseradit itiftnosaii44 would stop his
and wogidet oven let hte.dt-h*P Job. She /et the district attorney do what she wanted
so I hopyl-would have to get back on appal. My lawyer even leaned over in my ear and
said litivdock is stacked against na in bare. -
-.-Veattild up lost** due to the judge and the district ettornly,constantly . onststing each
*there-Now-my litigating lawyer fell back and my mitigating lawyer stepped up. I swaar,saybOdy Who has over been through a death penalty phese will tell you that this laths soot
stressful *oust of your life.: The P t Olaere that you are under is inexplicable, -I stool
tell throughout the whole phase but the moment that got to Au was when my pop wont up
tbsis and pleaded with these devils to *P ar * to life. In my whole twenty one years of
/Was:I-had ester we my pop cry' Not eau! When he got up on that stand and he said
'I knee I haven't been the bettlatherond I haw I could've dons slot Wier. But that's
started crying. My lye*
all 1-$ 0flight there. Pittaa testAi ll my- son;
40 t ealat and I almost let it flow but I stays' stions4!votetto myself that day that
my pop through no Shit like that -agaievril- boid court on the strong
- at 14.J put my Wily through this bullshit! I willasver Aget that
than that this skit wasn't a PM. These WOO* were really trying to kill me.
I400kid at all of the people in that0Ourtrooe that tan* to supportma and I never 4got
their faces because these people hew, my addl ing 104114404- wil l never be *gottea s From
that*, on I vowed that anaetatral***ad from prisa04*11 never give anyone that
type of pour over my body again. and they Sot the nerve to *all us murderers when they
done killed more innocent people then allof us so called gangsters and thugs put together!
My pop is the strongest man that I hPoW and *St .; saw . him break dew* in that courtroom
sad beg for my lidepthesa people put 0 rage and a flre *aside Of MY heart that will aster
be extinguished! Until I take my last breath I wi ll oararAget-that day4grallt
I told ay Male Kennett what bsiated when / sqt-bautOkthe jail and he just started
wills. Es was trying out of what happened and rage-aunt said *I know I should've fucked
that aitas
MU* rat ass Pignas.404, took my fnahlOg-hrotbac from me 0** 1 plimniwond
hawse just patios back and forth. Thosnard told-Isnietta r te ea/a down and he turned
to that guard- and said "Puist,OSTsomathing els* Oa tilt case over chars 04-brankys'
whole fucking jaw! Think I'm theft** -010lagt Ihry something pasty! I dartyout",and he
Walked' towards the guard. I stopparchim and pulled him kuhe-side and calmed him down
sad hugged his and told his that I-levad-hta and went to- my -block. I want to the Net knit
the nut morning.
went to hack up a little bit before I soon. I wanes give a shoutout to my coated Tim
Schofield.ay oldheed Bernard "Nerd X" Mcnair.end my hotly Tyree *Hick" Little,and Asia
"Uzi" Wright for backing me and supporting me no matter thecost or consequence. I had
got out of the hole in 2001 or knocking this eat named Dierifbk "Playboy" Thomas's tooth
Out of his mouth in the yord,and he told on me! He is also one of the separations against
ía. While I was in the hole some cat from south philly named Don thought that since I kept
going 2 the hole that I was gone gat train:dared this time so he started spreading a rumor
that he stabbed ma up in the county. l'ALSSI MY little cousin axe wrote me and to/4 me about
it and asked if I wanted him 2 take care of it. I wrote hie and told him that I got it
and that I'm getting back out in a couple days. I did my home work on Don and I found out
that he was from 31st and maker and he was a shooter and was putting in work out there
but I didn't even know what this cat looked like.
Now don't get me-wrongs/ 1 m not geographical but I do love my hood, At the same time though
respect men! At this time the only sea in that Jell from southphilly that I respected
and knew was Anthony ReeveaiScoonao No.Fat Teddy,DogOolleriG-Aall.Chaster.Malik.Mujahid,
Charlie Block brother Malik who is My oldhead.Eric "Chicken" Nobinson,Sehrse.and it's a
couple other guys but just off the top I named a few of the stead up men who loved their
hood but also respected men. I got out of the hole a coigne days later and I didn't even
unpack my shit. I put my gloves on and went in the yard. My brother mai don't net miss
nothing end he saw how I was posted up and said "Shim who we gotta kill?". I laughed cause
I knew he was dead serious. I soid "It ain't nothing, I just gotta check something reel
quick". Uzi said "Alright.welllike sure you let me know before you check it". Uzi was
with lim Schofield,Nard ',and •ickswho all told me 2 let them know if I needed them. I
bald them that I would and posted up by the gate with my little cousin eta so he could
show me what don looked like.
Don finally came out in the yard with some cat named serge that I knew who be punt faking
slot and string like he wanted trouble but really didn't. My cousin pointed Don out 2 me
and I told ass 2 walk the track with him. So est went over 2 him and they started talking
sod began walking the track together. I walked behind them and Nerd X tlizi,and Tim started
'Walking behind me. Like I seidosi didn't miss nothing. Hick was on point too at the pull
*Aar, I stepped to Don by myself and said "Don.what's Or. H e said "DS gels flea
up? I thought that was you".like he knew me which made me even sadder. I said "Don.out
of all the people in this jail that you could say you stabbed ,.why would you pick me?",sed
as soon as he went to answer it I took my glove off of ey left hand end slapped him so
hard Chat the green jolly rancher that ha had in his mouth went flying out! My oldhead
Nerd I tssid "Dame Shia done slapped this aims tongue out of his mouth!". Don's mouth was
split open and he was bleedint badly. He held his hand to his mouth end backed up. The
Catteorge_thathe_ses with acted like he wanted to do something end I said 'Pussy what's
up? Act like you weifttl",end he turned around and they ran to the basketball court where
the whole south philly was at.
Me,Tim,Usi.Asagand litck,walked right to the basketball court and I watched as all of
the south philly guys listened to Don and then ran right off of the court in2 us. The leader
was No No and me and No No are tight 's° No No came to me and said "Shim leave this shit
alone. I'm tryna play some ball eon. Don if you wane rumble yell can go in the fieldhouse
but if you ain't tryna rumble then that shit over with". That's why I fucked with No No
cause even though he loved his hood he still respected men! On the strength of No No I
fell back even though I wanted 2 take it somewhere else. I got slot of love for No No and
he was one of the fro people that I hollered and reached back to when I was on the streets.
Later on that day I was approached by another smooth oldhead from south philly that / got
tight with. His name was Prince. Prince came and hollered at me and said "Shit I don't
really know you.but I tmma be real with you.if you would've slapped se like that only death
could've stopped me from tryna kill you in that yard!".and we both started laughing. He
told me that he was No No rappy and that No No (tad told his that he Lucked with me real
heavy. He bald me that Don was his youngboyl but he wasn't standing up for nobody that
wasn't standing up for themselves. I respected that and me and Prince began speaking everr
day and over time I ended up having the same love for him that I got for No No cause Prince
was a good dude.
That got settled and I was doing good. Ma and my little brother Champ began catching
up on alot of things. Champ telly at the time was my youngin "Larry Lit".and I fucked with
Larry real heavy. Larry was funny as hell but he was dangerous and wasn't 2 be slept on.
My telly at the time we 10Y Oldheed• Hawn "Slack Sas," Jackson. We had the same Last
name and we hit it off from ths start. I lore teen 2 death! Sean used to box and got a
crazy fight game and was knocking cats out left and right! All we used to do in the cell
was padvork and train or workout and read about black hieteriand talk about it. Sean became
like a father 2 me and taught me so much. I learned about Our history,politics,religionorace
and white su premacy .socialism.communism i capitalism,and elot of other stuff. Me and Sean
used to argue all the time but that was my oldhead end I-love him, be got a beautiful heart
and he loyal as hell. If he with you then it's all the way and if he against you then it's
all the way. It wasn't nothing petty about Sean and alot of people loved him cause he was
funny as hell! He dealt fair with everybody he tusked with and he refused to snake anybody
even when he had the chance to snake them. When I got "my life sentence that shit killed
him and he wanted to fuck somebody up but I stopped him. Champ and Larry loved him to death
Sean went home and got tight at me /but he trusted the wrong people and while he was in
the midst of taking care of business to help me and Champ get home,* cat that he trusted
told on him and got him put to the fads * I was crushed! It ain't too many stand up loyal
cats out there like him and that shit hutted me. Sean is a throwback gangster that operated
oo the principle that you never tern ye s back on ye l friends. If Sean had love for you
then it hutted him 2 his heart if he . let you down. He played this game by the rules and
he never broke them or took shortcuts * Sean if you got my book and you reading this I just
wane tell you that I lore you oldhead and I ain't ever forget about you. I heard about
what happened and I know that they gave you all of that time due to ye' history * Thirty
fears for a Mac-11 is unheard of! Just know that I'm on my way 0.0. and I'm coming for
you! I give you my word Sean.when I hit them streets it ain't no way that you dying in
I ended up going to the hole again and when I came out I was tellies with my men Aki
Jones. I love Aki 2 death! Me and Aki was like me and San and Aki used 2 box too so we
used to do padvork and stuff in the cell and stress over chicks we was missing, Aki and
me used to argue all the tithe too. One time while we were collies I was in the yard talking
to fat Pig from west philly about some business but he was running the track with this
oldhead named Ernie but everybody called him Ern * I was talking 2 pig and I guess he wanted
2 Continue running the track so he said "Shiv i that shit yell talking shout can wait.we
tip* run the track men!". Now I had heard about Ern putting his work in with the knives
and he had got out on oldhead Mike Rucker by throwing hot water with baby oil in it on
him so I knew he was dangerous and not to be slept on but at the end of the day I'm a man
and you gone respect me willingly or unwillingly or you gotta kill met I told Ern that
I wasn't talking to him and he said "I don't give a fuck about who you talking inter!.
_rupting. mv_running time!". I walked up on him with my fist clinched end said "Who the fuck
you think you talking to?". Ern said "I see that you got ye' fist balled up.go head and
try it. I might can't stop ye" takeoff but I'mme crash pa' landing! I ain't one of these
lil t pussies you Me punching on!". Aki was right there and I went 2 bang off on him end
Aki grabbed me and said "Chill.we all on theses. block. Go head and run oldhead.we'll take
care of this on the block". Ern and Pig finished running the track and Aki turned to me
and said "You beets do that nigga dirty in that cellJ gotta fuck him up!". I said
"I gotlem".
We got on the block and I went to my cell and picked up the rugs and put my shorts and
boots on and then put my gloves on and waited for him to come upstairs to my cell. I looked
out of my cell and I saw Ern grab a knife from fat Pig and I kept that in mind. I came
out of the call and waited at the showers for him. Aid was a blockworker and was sweeping
so he could keep the door open and watch out for us. Ern came up in the cell and I backed
up to the well so he could come all the way in. I said "Close the door and put the towel
Up". He closed the door and said "I ain't putting no towel up so you can steal me youngin".
I said "I ain't gone steal you. I'mma stay back here!". He put the towel up and turned
around and said "Okay youngin i .let's get it1" -pand swung a wild ass haymaker at me that
I slipped and countered with a three piece to his face that backed him up * He got himself
together and came beck at me and faked a left hand but threw a straight right hand that
landed on my jaw. He had some power behind it too. I kept my self together and be saw that
the right hand had some effect and tried to rush in—wrong move!
He threw another straight right hand that I slipped and let go by me and I hit him with
a left jab 2 his jaw,a right hand to the center of his chest,followed by a short 6 inch
1 2 3
hook that put him on his ass! I backed up and said "Co head and get ape! ain't gone
My adreneline was pumped and I was bouncing on my feet. He got back up and threw
a right jab and ran in to grab me but I pivoted and hit him with a double uppercut which
Caused the knife that he had on his waist 2 fall out on the floor. We both looked at it
and I kicked it under my bed and continued whooping his ass in that cell. Aid, banged on
the door and said "To l it's count time!". I told him 2 get I the door open while Ern was
at the sink rinsing his mouth out and putting cold water on his eyes. He looked like a
raccoon With dark shades en. Aki got the door open and when Ern came out he was like "Damn
adhead,you posed to bob and weave!". Ern looked at Aki mad as shit and went to his cell.
Aki came in the cell and was like "Yeah niggal You betta bed whooped oldhead ass or I
was kicking you the fuck out of this cellt",end we both started laughing and slepboxing
with each other. Later on that day the guard passed out mail and I got two angry ass letters
from geisha and Ski had got a letter from his behygirl Tans. I read the first letter Belisha
wrote me and I couldn't believe my eyes! The second letter was an extended version of the
first letter. I had wrote my homie Jay's sister Tiffany and told her to send me some flicks
of her and Jay and she went and told Leisha l s close friend Adrienne that-I had wrote her
and asked 2 merry her! Tiffany and geisha are not even on speaking terms so Tiffany showed
Adrienne the envelope that I wrote her with but never showed no letter of me proposing
yet Kasha still went on tilt!
She told me 2 call her as soon as I got the letter. I showed Ski and he just started
laughing at me. I was sick inside thought I called her that night and she ain't even let
me talk! I did a whole lot of listening cause she didn't let me get a word out! I told
her I didn't propose 2 her and she said "Rhonshawn.why the fuck ie ryou even writing this
bitch? That was a letter that Could've been sent 2 me! What the fuck is ye problem?".
I didn't answer it because I didn't know if this was a trick question or not so she said
"I can't believe that you would do something like this to me".and started crying and she
itiowe I hate it when she cries. That shit just made me even madder! I couldn't believe
that Tiffany did some shit like this 2 me but then I thought back to some other shit she
did when I was home.
A friend from the neighborhood had pulled up on me one day when I was about 2 walk in
my gtatidmother's house 2 check up on her and asked me what was up with Tiffany. I told
him that I ain't know what was up with her but she Is like a little sister 2 me and he
looked at 04 confused and said "Lilisister? I just saw her in Philles locker room sneaker
store anti X went at her and she said that she fuck with Rhonshewn!". I said "Men.she
probably was just playing!". He said "New.she was dead serious but if you saying that she
not ya1 chick then I'm going at her cause shorty bad as shit!". I said "Do yourpand went- in my grandmother's crib, I saw Tiffany a couple weeks later and asked her why she diet —
that end she said "I only told that Diggs that cause I knew once I said ye l name he would
1411 back but! ain't think he was gone go ask you,demn!".- So I know that it was a method 2, her madness but why would she try 2 fuck up me and Walla relationship?
Per now I had 2 put all of that on the backburner and let her know that I was telling
the truth. Keishe had never Lucked with a nines in jail before and she was super sensitive
when it came 2 me. Nowovery letter I was getting was why did I lie 2 her and tell her
all of these things and make her believe in me. She told me that I knew that she wanted
a family with me and how she wanted 2 have my son and now I messed all of that up. She
asked me how I could say I loved her and hurt her like that and how she should've listened
2 her hating UM girlfriends that told her 2 leave me alone. She was Just going in on me
and I set back and thought about this shit and I was like "It's not supposed 2 be this
easy 4 somebody 2 just tell her something and she go off the deep end and lot them divide
us like this". But then I had 2 be real with myself,' created all of the insecurities that
she had. How many times did she walk up on me with other women after I had just told her
I was going Somewhere else? Or she hit me on my hitter and some other chick called back?
So being real l the had every right 2 feel how she was feeling and not believe me but I just
wanted her 2 see that this time I was telling the truth!
In my heart / would never hurt WM& like that by giving some chick a one up on her
like that. I meant everything that I said in those letters and I know that slot of times
when nines come 2 jail they turn in2 these romentic,caringoloving.considerete cats cause
they are in prison but as soon as they get out they seldom do what the y say that they are
Baling 2 do but that's not met I'm not making no promises I'can't keep! / told Webs. what
I felt in my heart and that was all that 1 could give her, I care about her so if she's
in pain then I'm In pain. I just needed her 2 see that I'm not the same man that I was
on the streets and that I had grown and matured it2 someone better then that person she
met on the streets. Keisha used 2 always try 2 keep me out of trouble and out of the streets
but that shit just had a hold on me that I couldn't explain. leishe used 2 cry so much
4 me and I know that I put her through slot of pain and I hope that one day she can 4give
me 4 that.
• Its crazy how a woman can see potential in a man that he can't even see. Kasha always
saw something more in me. She always saw who I could become but I only saw what I was at
that time and it took 4 me 2 go through this shit b4 I saw the man that she saw. It makes
me love her even more because she stuck by me when I was basically lost! That's deep! I
was out there doing all this wild shit and destroying my own neighborhood and hurting my
own people and just being ignorant and here it is this beautiful lthick.intelligent sista
that ever ybod y was in the hood chasing chose 2 cut everybody off and ride with me! I didn't
even have a game plan or a sense of direction2 where I was going but yet she was still
willing 2 ride with me till the wheels fell off!
I'M tot going 2 front,! /earned how 2 connect emotionally with a woman in prison and
it was because the physical aspect of the relationship had been taken out so now I had
2 learn how 2 love and appreciate my women for who she really was. This phase exposed me
2 a whole new side of my woman and I started learning things about her that was always there
but I just didn't give 2 much attention 2. I started discovering new spots on her body.birth
markspand certain things she did when she was nervous or happy.but these things were always
there. It was just that I had gotten so used 2 dealing with a woman on a physical level
that I never even took the time out 2 notice these things, I felt like prison represented
a certain lonliness that only a woman could fulfill, It created a dark Spot in your heart
that only a female's touch could give light 2. I found myself becoming vulnerable 2 women
and I si lently Yearned 4 their affection but I didn't want their affections out of pity.
I didn't want a woman .2 be with me because she felt sorry 4 my situation,. I wanted a woman
2 be with me by my side because She understood m y situation and she felt my paint
I want 2 break.down something 2 the women out there that are holding real nigges down
behind these walls, ,Tail don't understand the mental strain that a ni gga goes through on
a daily basis in these prisons. From the moment we wake up in here until the moment we try
2 go 2 sleep in here it's coneteult pressure! Day in and Day out! We gotta worry about these
guards doing some nut Shit 2 us and getting us sent 2 the hole, Then we gotta worry about
the niggas preying on you. Then you gotta survive which is a major factor. I done seen major
drug dealers come through here and start robbing cats cause they man flicked they money up
or some chick ran off with they money. It's constant hell just 2 live under these conditions
and if you are in love with a woman while going through this then it's even harder if yell
argue or are going through it or if you lose her!
I know alot of women don't really understand but I'mma give you sem insight real quick
babygirl..Rverything is exaggerated in here. If you write a letter 2 me.once I get it and
you got perfume on it and you telling me 2 stay strong and all the right things,then that's
the equivalent of you giving me a hug and telling me that everything is going 2 be alright
and you got my back. If u send me some pictures,2 me that's the equivalent of you sending
me little pieces of you in the mail that I can hold on 2 and utilize 2 keep me Com pany an ytime that I get lonely. If you accept my phone cal1,2 me it's the eq0ivalent of you and
me talking face 2 face and spending quality time with each other. If you come 2 visit's
the equivalent of me dying and you coming 2 visit my graveeite faithfully until I have resew.
rented! Every, visit breathes life back in2 we because I'm dead in here! So once we have
a argument with yall,even the toughest nigge will tell you this.that shit drains our energy
because all we do is think about Am if you are going 2 leave un.if you gone get mad and
go fuck somebod y ,are you going 2 stop accepting my calls?,are u going 2 stop loving me now?,
and all types of other thoughts but I'm just giving you a few of them, And women r know
that we be getting on yell last nerves with all the damn requests and demands but we love
yall 2 death A holding us down!
I know that it's hard with us being locked down and yell being out there 2 hold the fort
down by Yall selves and then when we call and you need us 2 put a smile on me face.we got
a list of demands 4 younI know! But look at it like this 4 a minute. This Shit is like
sinking in quicksand. We are trapped temporarily until we get out of this shit but while
we are in it we gotta eat and do other things that we need taken care of and we be needing
Yell 2 help us get it done..Is it nerveracking? Yes! And hopefully soon.we will come up
with better methods 2 show yell that we appreciate yell putting up with all this! At the
end of the day,we love yall women and we need yell! All of yall keep um so strong and the
right woman can give a man that is in despairsa sense of hope where their once was none.
The right woman can write a letter and stop a man that was about 2 commit suicide from killing himeolf..The right Woman can convince a man that has given up on life and stopped fight.ingot reason 2 work on his case and obtain his freedom again..The right woman can convince
a man that sincerely wants 2 diesthat he now has a reason 2 live again. ,So womansplease
understand your power and don't abuse it! I know that not everybody deserves ya s love and
care but 4 those of us that dosplease don't give up on us because of some petty ass arguments
or because la got horny and needed 2 cum on somethingsLOW
We understand that u are human and all we ask is that u be honest with us and stay loyal.
If you are not loyal or real ithen at least be honest enough 2 admit that 1>4 u cause a man
2 die an emotional death in here! It's easy 4 yell 2 walk away and leave a nigga 4 dead
because yall got options out there but we gotta constantly relive that pain over and over
again until we find some way 2 replace the love and happiness that u have taken away from
uSs I want the women out there• 2 think of the worst heartbreak that they ever hadsnoWtimes
it times ten and that's what we feel when yell leave us, This is why alot of men are afraid
2 settle down with just one woman because in his mind he never knows when you will one day
tell him that u can't hang no more or it got Lucked too good by some jumpoff and u wanna
try ya' hand with him.
We may love a woman with all that we got but we constantly keep women on the side whit*
we're in here because of that one question that always looms around in our head .-"What if
she leaves?". Slot of women have told me "BoosI'm never gonna leave you" "I'll die without
you" 0 "These niggas out here is weak and they ain't got nothing on yout", 4Why are you so
insecure when I told you that I'm not going no where?",or "I know what I'm doing and I
wouldn't have said it if I didn't mean irsand all of these women are gone! They always
start off good and not even Moses will be able 2 part yall i but the truth is that they are
haian beings and after a while this shit wears on them. So I don't get mad at them when
expecting- you 2 go,,Sametimes Lte surprised that you stayed
around this long! So momensyou can't get mad at a man 4 having something on the sides
especially when you know that it will be gone soon or u already got something on the side!
Just be real!
Now if is know that u are in it 4 the long - haul and when u say till' death do us part u
really mean it,then 4 deserve loyalty and faithfullness because u are a rare breed and if
a man is blessed 2 come across u in this fake assswatered down,lyingsheartless,fugazescold
ass world ,then us as men gotta fight tooth and nail 2 keep u because you are one in a million
on this planet! Their are only a few Coretts Scott Ling's and Betty Shabazz's left on this
planet. You can find a billion Nicki Minajlend Anna Nicole's that promote fucking and
sucking and being kitted up with a whole bulk"of fake ass accessories! But their are only
a_few real.authentic women left on this earth! Eeisha is my heart but at this time in my
life I just wasn't mentally mature enough 2 appreciate her or guide her 2 where she needed
to be cause I didn't even have a sense of direction on where I was going. Due 2 my ignorance
I-could - only love her like 4 thug would love her because it would take alot of education
and history as well as me applying what I had learned in order 4 me 2 fully Understand that
blackwoman and love her like a real Blackman should love her.
Thinking backer liked the experience at greene county because 4 me it represented a stage
of growth that I had 2 go through. I went through my transition from nigga 2 Blackman but
I had slot more growing 2 do. I would be preparing 2 go 2 the next phase of my journey.
I learned alot from my oldheads at greene county but now it was time 2 move on..,*
R . occ g SDO
The night b4 I got sent 2 SCI-Houtzdale4 we g. in mY.USIX Just reminiscing about a few
incidents that happened while I was on the streets. . 0 40_9f .the incidents happened with the
brother of one of my homies that got killed and on the s tr en gth of his brother I'm not going
2 put his name out there but like my man 2pac. said b4 he got killed "You can tell than MAIO
you roll with whatever you went.but you and I know what's going on".Anywaymeand my homie
Reese Bowling this spot called "ShrimPiee on 19th and,_Cheltenhamonsome chill shit
inside of his Cadillac Jeep blowing some tree, We was busting it up when Inoticed this
. . .
green wagon pull up and this chick from around my way got out with this cat that -I was
beefing with b4 -I got locked up. My lil t brother LouDiamonds had my gun but Reese had
his 40 Cal.'-ce-himz-iLlomffeCon , thwyee&-and-LnoticeAulainman.and_his chick talking while
they were waiting 2 go in the store. I told Ramie 2 give me the 40 cal. and I dipped out
of the jeep.
I waited until they m44.0.. it 2 . the . e te p0:end Then T ' SPIPP e 0 from behind the .truck.and
called als mainman's name and he,looked up et me . with that:704m0" look. I smirked upon
recognition of what he thinking and told his chick_2 move out of the way. She said
"Shawn please -don't do this! He my . babyfether!". I knew his chick real well because my
little brother Donny had her bk this cat got her. I told her . "This ain't got nothing 2
do with you. Ye man know what this about and asking you 2 stay out of this". I thin
told him "Give her the keys and let her get out of here". She started crying and said
"Shawn please don't do this!". He held em2 her tightly BO she couldn't leave and I had
the 40 pointed at her 41 I wanted mainman so bad thet . I was about 2 shoot through her
Just to get this coward ass nigga, I looked in his eyes and I saw that we was nothing
alike. He had a family and was chasing life but I had nothing and was chasing death! Everything that I loved was in the cemeteries and penetentiaries.
His chick Just stood in front of him crying and I looked at this coward literally hiding
behind his chick and she was a good girl and didn't deserve 2 become a casualty of this
war. Plus t if that was my mother standing in front of my father 2 stop him from being killed
I would want somebody 2 have the courtesy not 2 involve her so against my better Judgement,
I looked his chick in the eyes and said "He owe you 4 the rest of his life and make sure
you get every bit of it". I then kept the 40 on them and backed out and got in the truck
with Reese and pulled off. I told Reese what mainman did and Reese said "That gunplay
was never dude field anyway. His brother is the G in they family". And from seeing how
he literally used his babymom as a human shield I could definitely see that this Wasn't
his field.
Another incident I kept thinking about was how me and my sister Lakim stopped fucking
with each other. I was wrong 4 holding e grudge against her but I did because no matter
what it's always family first. B4 flame 2 jail me and my sister was at odds with each
-other about-a bunch of stuff.-When I got locked-up in 1997 we was-still at odds and she
had taken her Ialimah Shahidah and was meeting with some cat named Ra Ra from logan. I
had never met him but he ended up coming through CFCF(county jail) and was in the cell
with a crazy homie of mines named Var. I saw the cat and he introduced himself 2 me and
I left it at that. I got a visit from my mom and on this particular day,my sister came
up 2 see him and she brought my nephew Tymere in the visiting room. He ran 2 me and my
sister didn't speak 2 me, I left itut that and didn't sweat it. On the visit my mom told
as that Ra Ra had put his hands on my sister and that she wanted me 2 take care of that,
I wanted 2 get him right after the visit but he made it out b4 I did so I told my man
Var 2 get him in the gym 4 me. Re Re came down and I slapped the shit out of him in the
gym. Re backed up and asked what was that about and I told him. He denied ever touching
my sister but Mom Dukes said he had 2 get it so that was law!
My man Var,who was his celly,saw me slap him and walked Up 2 me and said "Shiz,you know
that nigga my celly. You want me 2 take care of that for you". I was mad and not thinking
about how crazy Vat is and I told him "Do what you want". Well,that night Var tied ha
Ra up and raped him in that cell. He took all of his commissary and cosmetics and kicked
him out of the cell. I found out the next day and I snapped on Var about that shit and
he said "I asked you if you wanted me to get l em and you said to do whatever ! . I said "Biggs
I thought you meant fucking him up,not fuckineeml". He said "It's the same thing ain't
itY". I was so mad that I Just walked off on him shaking my head. I told my mom what happened and she couldn't stop laughing on the phone and finally said "Fuck i em". I said "Some-
It, In oks-0,0
body already did",and my mom started laughing hard as hell and said "Shut up
boy!". When I came home in the year 2000,I'm not gone lie,she tried 2 be a sister.
2 me but I was on my bullshit and dissed her. I was still mad at her 4 not speaking 2 me
in the visiting room. She hugged me and all and asked me for some money and I just was cold
2 her. I spoke 2 her when me and Donny was cellies and she flat out told me that I could
write her and that I'm her brother and she loves me but I never wrote her. Do I miss MT
sister? Yes! Do I like her? No,I love her! I was stubborn at that time and I had Mot of
rage in my heart and nobody could tell me nothing. I gotta take this one here on the chin
though. This one is on me.
The next incident involved Me and my man Timothy "Poochie" Sanders. This hare is my fucking
heart! Me and Poochie was at this bar on BOth and Ogontz called Jarrett's Bar. It was a
chick in there that was cool with us named darkskinned Nette. She was a freak and had some
bomb ass head! Nette knew all of the gangsters and playas. Poochie was a quiet storm and
he bust his gun with no hesitation! Poochie was going down North Philly 2 see some chick
and he was waiting at the bus depot for the 6 bus 2 come so he could go 2 Broad and Olney.
I noticed that Nette was outsiae talking to these niggas waiting on the bus and I wanted
2 put my bid in for some of that while I waited with foochie and slide 2 my grandmother
crib with her after he left but one of the cats that Nene was talking 2 asked Poochie what
he was staring at and he went 2 his waist like he was reaching 4 a gun. Poochie peeped it
and we both was strapped. Vette knew I wasSfrapped too and she got in the middle of all
of us 2 calm shit down.
I had a bad feeling in my g ut and I wasn't letting Poochie get on that bus by himself
so even though I didn't want 2,1 rode the bus with hie. I sat all the way in the back and
I took my gun out and put it on my lap. Poochie cams in the back with me and I told him
to take his gun out and get on point. He said he was already ahead of me. We got 2 Broad
and Olney and I got out first and posted up and waited for Poochie. The niggas peeped my
post up and waited until me and Poochie went down the steps and once I got 2 the bottom,one
of the cats pulled a gun out and pointed it over the railing at Poochie. I couldn't see
it cause I was at the bottom and I told Poochie 2 come on and he motioned with his eyes
that mainman had a gun pointed at him. So I whispered "Keep him talking",and I ran up thef
other set of stairs with my gun out and as soon as they noticed that I came up behind them
they took off! I wanted 2 bust these niggas ass 4 disrespecting my man like that but Poochie
said fuck it and we rolled out. I was just glad that I got on that bus with him cause 2
this day I feel like that could've went completely different if he was by himself.
Last but not least,I started thinking about this Puerto Rican chick that I met on the subway
when I first came home named Marie. It was the year 2000 and I had just came home in January.
It was cold and when I got off of the greyhound bus I went straight to the subway to get
out of that cold_weather.1 didn't tell nobody that I was coming home so nobody knew I-was
in the city. I got 2 the subway and sat down 2 wait 4 the train and right beside me was
the most beautifullest peurto rican chick that I ever saw in my life! She looked like she
had just walked off of the cover of Latina! I sparked up a conversation with her and she
told me that she had just caught her dude cheating and lucked the bitch up that he was with
and he kicked her out and now she was hate-less and didn't have no where / go. I had just
came home not even a hour ago and I looked up in the sky and told GOD "I owe you one!".
This chick literally got dropped in my lap.
I thought that she just might've been over doing it with the homeless thing so I asked
her was she serious and she said that she was really homeless and didn't know where she
was going 2 sleep at tonight. Don't get me wrong,I was horny as hell and this was like the
perfect oppurtunity 4 me 2 get unlimited quality ass! But I thought about when I was in
her same position and how people came through 4 me without wanting anything back in return.
I started wondering how I was going 2 get my mom 2 agree 2 let her stay with us. I knew
that my mom rode with me on whatever but this wasn't like I was bringing a pet home,this
was a whole human being! I was like fuck it,I'm gonna try! I told Maria that she could stay
with me but I gotta get my mom on board which shouldn't be 2 hard. I let Maria know that
I had just came home from jail and she was surprised and said I was sweet and kind 4 helping
her. We got 2 my crib and my mom was so happy that I was home that when I told her about
Maria she welcomed her with open arms. Maria slept in My brother Donny's old room and I
slept in my room in the back. Everything went smooth. Her girlfriend went and got her clothes
4 her and brought them 2 my crib 4 her. As soon as her girlfriend saw me she said somethingt
Maria in spanish and Maria said something back to her in Spanish. Later on that night,me
1 ies
and Maria was watching TV and it was late. She was flirting with me real heavy and
I was feeling her vibe. 34 I knew it she was laying on the couch in the dark with
nothing on but a thong and a see through bra that made her look so fucking sexy! We started kissing and then out of no where I just started feeling guilty. I felt like she was
doing this because she thought that she owed me something 4 letting her stay with me and
I stopped. My dick even got soft! Maria looked at me confused and said "What's the matter
baby?". I said "Look.I don't want you 2 think that you owe me anything cause of what I'm
doing for you. I been where you at right now and people looked out for me with no questions
asked. I know what it feels like to be at the bottom and I respect my own struggle which
is why I can respect yours. If you wanna' do this for you then I'm with itobut I need you 2 know that you don't owe me nothing and you're not obligated to do this shorty". Maria
just smiled and looked me in the eyes and said "Now I really wanna' do it",and pulled her
panties off and threw them in my face and leaned back on the sofa and started finger fucking
She looked me dead in the eyes and parted her pussy lips and stuck two fingers in her
mouth 2 wet them and then stuSck them inside of her pussy and started moaning and speaking
in spanish. My dick was so hard that it felt like it got dipped in gold! I ripped my clothes
off faster than superman in that booth! I got between her legs and moved her hand out of
the way and started sucking on her clit like it was a piece of peppermint candy. She smelled
and tasted so fucking good! I then stuck two fingers.' in her pussy and made the come here
motion with my finger so I could rub up against her G—spot and she started moaning "Oh God
Papi! Do it! Do it!". I stroked her g —spot and sucked on her pussy lips at the same time
and she started arching her back and throwing the pussy at me. I then grabbed both of her
ass cheeks in my hands and brought her pussy closer 2 my face and licked on her cut real
good while I blew on her pussy. I used the tip of my tongue 2 apply a little pressure 2
her clit as I licked it in circles and up and down while I finger fucked her pussy with
two fingers.
She began fucking my fingers and breathing heavy and talking in spanish again. I knew
that now was the time 2 give her the treatment. So I pushed her legs back 2 where her knees
almost touched her shoulders and I used my left thumb 2 rub on her clit awhile I used two
fingers from my right hand 2 finger fuck her,and I dipped my head downstuck my tongue deep
inside of her asshole and she lost all control and started turning hard and moaning loud!
She was screaming "Papi Yes! Yeal"„and I kept rubbing her clit,finger fucking her pussy
and licking her asshole until she came so hard that she started crying! She just got real
emotional and grabbed my face and started licking my lips and tongue kissing me hard. She
made me lay on the carpeted floor and she got on top of me and started riding me while she
looked me in my eyes and sucked on her own titties. That shit turned me on so fucking much!
84 I knew it I was moaning her name! I was like "Damn Maria,you feel so good". She started
winding her hipsand tightening her pussy muscles around my dick and I almost came so I
made her get on all fours so I could fuck her from the back. She had real long hair too
and I needed 2 pull on that!
When she bent over I cracked her ass cheeks open like a orange and ate her pussy and ass
from the back and she was gripping the carpet tightly. I then rubbed my dick up and down
her pussy and teased her until she told me 2 put it in. I grabbed her hair at the roots
and started fucking the shit out of her! She threw that ass back 2 me too and her pussy
was so fucking tight and wet thatI almost came again! She reached behind and started rubbing
my balls while I fucked her. I put my thumb in her asshole and she went crazy! I was fucking
her so fast that I slipped out and when I went 2 put it back in,Meria reached hack and put
the head of my dick at her asshole and b4 I knew it I was pulling her hair and fucking her
in her tight asshole and I pounded her until all you heard was my balls slapping up against
her ass! She couldn't take it anymore and came again moaning "Papi yes! yes! He estoy
Viniendo!". After hearing her moan in spanish I came deep inside of her asshole and fell
on top of her spent. I was breathing heavy as shit! Maria is top 5 best sex that I ever
had! I rolled over on my back and she went and got a rag and washed my dick off and then
left and came back. I was laying on the floor and she just laid on my chest and kissed on
my neck while she rubbed my dick and then she just kissed down 2 my dick and held it up
like she was utipecting it and started licking my balls slowly and then she started sucking
on each one of my balls slowly and rolling them in her mouth as she jerked my dick. 84 I
knew it,I came so hard that my cum got stuck on the ceiling! We fucked 4 the rest of the
night until we both fell asleep.
g , JAcksod
Me and Maria flicked like that 4 a month until her and her dude ended up getting
back 2gether and she went back 2 go live with him. I let her know that she was the best
welcome back home present ever and she laughed. We used 2 keep in touch and then she
moved 2 Chambersburg,Pa and we lost contact with each other. As I sat back in my cell waiting
2 get transfered the next day I wondered what was up with Maria and who was hitting that
pussy. I ended up thinking about her until three O'clock in the morning and then I finally
fell asleep. At four thirty in the morning I got woke up and I got ready 2 get transfered
and now I would start the next phase of this journey....
84 I move on 2 the next phase of this journey in my life I want 2 speak on a tragedy that
happened that 2 this day broke my heart. In 2004,while I was in the hole at greene county
4 an assault,someone who was like a little brother 2 me named Sid "S-Dot" Daniels. Sid was
a wild and fearless young cat that I had alot of love 4. I was like one of the only cats
that he would listen 2 and that he really respected like that. I reMeMber we was in the
hole and I was sleep. It was like three O'clock in the morning and I heard somebody yelling
my name like "Shia! Shiz!",real loud. I finally got up and came 2 my cell door 2 see who
was calling me and Sid hollered at me from the bottom tier and was like "To! I need 2 holler
at you about something man,get up so I can talk to you!". I said "Sid,it's like three O'clock
in the morning man,can't it wait until we get up?". He said "Maw it can't wait! Do this
for me man,I really need to talk to you". I said "Alright,hold up". I got up and washed
my face and brushed my teeth and I was mad as hell and thinking 2 myself that this shit
better be important.
After I got myself 2gether I went back 2 the gate and asked Sid what was up. He said "Shiz,
I love you like a big brother man and I know you love me like ya' little brother And I want
you to make a promise to me man,right now,tonight!". I said "What's the promise?". He said
"Promise me that if anything ever happens to me that you'll make sure my daughter Jerelane
is taken care of and she cool". I shook my head at my cell door and couldn't believe that
he was asking me something like this. I immediately started getting emotional and I said
"Sid,how you gone wake me up this early in the morning and ask me something like this man?
You tripping!". He said "Listen man,I just been having these dreams about Me dying and all
types of weird shit and I just want to make sure that if anything happens to Me that Jerelane
is cool cause I don't want no weirdos around My babygirl and I know that she'll be cool
around you. Why you think that I be having you send her birthday cords and stuff?". I said
"Sid,first of all,ain't nothing gonna happen to you man so cool out with that dying shit!
Second of all,I don't know how to be no father! I don't even know how much longer I might
be on this earth,so how you gonna pick me for something like this?".
Sid laughed and said "Stop bitching nigger! I picked you because you gone make it man!
For some reason I know it! I feel it! I be listening to you when we talk and you focused
Shiz but you don't believe in yourself. I picked you because I want my daughter to be safe
and well taken care of and I know that if you give somebody ye' word on something then you
gonna keep it. So even though you think I'm tripping right now and I Might be,I just want
you to promise me so I'll know that if I'm not tripping i that if I leave here then Jerelane
will be cool. So what's up?". I thought about it and I didn't want to let him down but truth
be told I didn't know the first thing about being a father but I love Sid and I couldn't
let him down so after alot of thought I told him "I got her man. I give you my word on that
that if anything happens to you when I come up out of here,I'll find her wherever she's
at and make sure that she's cool for the rest of her life! You got my word on that little
brother! That's my word!". Sid said "Cool,that's all I wanted to hear man,now go ahead and
take ye' lazy ass to bed!",and we both started laughing.
2 months after I got 2 SCI-Houtzdale Sid was killed. His cousin was testifying on somebody
and Sid's sister Shamika,who is a sister 2 me,told Sid 2 stay away from him but Sid is loyal
and his cousin told him that he wasn't telling on nobody and basically lied. The guy who
Sid's cousin was telling on had a trial coming up and needed 2 tie up all loose ends,and
Sid's cousins car got shot up while him and Sid was in it and Sid got killed and this rat
mutha facka got away and lived. On the day that Sid got killed I had just secured a record
deal for him through my cousin Darryl Shuler and he was getting a $250,000 advance. He was
so happy and told me that he didn't care if he had to use all of it 2 get me home that he
would. My wife at that time,Charlene loved him 2 death! On the day that I was supposed 2
call him I called Charlene first 2 check up on her and she just started crying as soon as
she answered the phone and I knew something bad had happened. I asked "Char,what's
ue What you all crying for?". She said "Baby,oh my GOD! Baby,they done killed Sidl",and
started crying hysterically. I couldn't believe what she had just said 2 me. I felt like
somebody had just ripped my heart out of my chest! I felt the pain in my soul! It was like
somebody had just cut a major artery that could never be repaired again. I gripped the tele phone and banged it against the receiver several times. The guard walked up on me and said
"Jackson,I'm giving you a direct order to put the phone down!". I turned to the guard and
said "Pussy you betta' back the fuck up off of me before I stomp ya' face to mush!", he
was about to hit the panic button but a sargeant that respected me walked up and told the
guard that he got it and sergeant Jones said "Jackson,if you got some bad news just go ahead
and take some time to cool off big fella. Just don't harm any of my guards cause I don't
feel like doing no paperwork",and he smiled and then walked off of the block.
My family Kook Murder came and got me and walked me 2 my cell and once I got inside of
my cell I covered the cell door with a towel and I cried like I never cried b4. I cried
from somewhere from deep within. I cried and tried to release all of the pain that I had
been holding in for all of these years. I felt like a heavy weight was being lifted off
of my shoulders when T let out all of that pain. I sat on my bunk and I thought about the
last conversation that me and Sid had in the hole and I understood now why he made me make
that promise 2 him. I got it now. I silently mouthed the words "I understand now little
brother and I'm gonna honor my word. I got you lil t bro. I got you".
So b4 I move on 2 the next phase of my journey I wanted 2 say'Sid I miss you little bro'
and not a day goes by that I don't regret not calling you so maybe I could've talked some
sense in2 you and told you not 2 get in that car with that rat so then maybe you would still
be here. But if everything is really written,I feel some type of way that GOD didn't write
in ya' script that you should have a vest and two pistols on you so you could've at least
had a chance 2 take one of ya' killers with you. I don't know, maybe that's just the gangster
in me speaking but the man in me feels like you died 4 a mutha fucka that didn't even deserve
ye type of loyalty,ya' type of love,ya' type of sacrifice! I know that you are in Heaven
caus true thugs always get there reward when the curtain closes. Just save me a spot up
there lil t bro' and have me a bucket of some ice water and two pistols just incase GOD gets
cute and sends me to hell first! I love you Sid and as soon as I'm out of this cesspool
I got Jerelanet You got my word on that lil'bro t ! ONE!:
Now with that said I wanna' go ahead and continue on 2 the next phase of this journey....
I got 2 sci-houtzdale in november of 2004 and they wouldn't let e
m out due 2. my-little
brother donny being there. They did a security review and due 2 me having guard and inmate
asaaults,the security office felt that they needed 2 do an extended security review on
, :116 b4 they let me out in their prison. I called charlene and let her know and she jumped
light on there asevii was in the hole and I was stressing about charlene badly cause I
'Wined 2 see her
fucking bad. It feltlike everything that I felt 4 her all of a sudden
titensed. Char .I004:6was born on march 13th. She's a pieces and the first poem I wrote her
*ken I got 2 Outzdele was a poem titled "When virgo's and pieces meet" and she fell in
love with i..p: It went like this:
"When Virgo's and Pisces, Meet"
"Imactinm a perfect flawless world
where 2 people,are connected 2gether
A place where eternal happiness lies
and their is no such thing as bad weather
Picture a beautiful goddess and a handsome god
that internally share a love that is timeless deep
A love where nothing else on earth matters
because 4evet lies right at their feet
The pieces goddess is a visionary and a dreamer
with sex appeal that can excite and seduce any man
While the virgo god is a handsome,intellectual warrior
1 3 2..
that is known 2 defy an the, laws of the lend,.
R .s.14 6 et 013
Usually they experience total bliss,
home* their metal connection will oiwale ioot
The Pisces goddess is 4ever a challepte.
bet submits oncflirso gets freak, e t4 Ineinko his - "al Alt.
Licking every lab of her perfaattlaaaliotafincall
HAW putting her sensitive omotiOnvii:ttaiusilieY
The Pisces Sodden is at ease with the rifle $042
Wane* she knows he will patent her throughout any adversity
With him she in anis 2 he .herself
as well as ft...tibia-It doss her gaud
Only his love estrikelplets her ..
and abs knows he will die 2 protect her from harm
When virgo takes pieces hand
2 load her through the Outlier of life
Pisces insecurities start getting the best of her
as she wonders if she'll. bi'dood-onotte 2 be his wife
But vireo's confidence assure* her that she is
and that without her this planet,sonttbe incomplete
Because this world is such a better place
whoa virgo's and piston meet".,..
Charlene lowed that Poem and she wrote me a long ace letter about in.'t,e4ded up Patin*
out of the hole 4 seek be the week of christianise I 40t.nnt . en .2.41Oses MY-OnheadAin
Riddle* was on the block and beanie of his semitonen and my reputation they didn't want
Ice:on the same block and two weeks after being on the hiPelithot wowed to :C.4440 on
the other side of the Jail. Charlene t ame to gee.** that week and she looked so tucking
lendeital and sexy. She shut the Visiting roes 'detail She got on me on Our first "alit
atteetedels and was like "Why you slan ts getting in Other peoples flOtga Let tittialthst
kakis fight they own battle...I need u hems with me n. I said "Char,!. love u 2 deathl.But
if-I pal somebody that I fuck with about 2.Is t tucked t011i-nnlo.114eriaitifeet.
type of heart 2 just walk sways .. She said"But a don't oStak hops thoseimuthe fa'
said °Mardian of the* guards don't know each ether but You think if a guard walk
brand see me fucking another guard up that he Just goeilielk:bf end . nokset An that *sr
guard business cause he don't k nee hie Fuck no g We gon e jump In whether he boos: 4k
or not.** why is it a Problem when t *tines that Snit type of leffiltY and unty with
miners She said "I never looked at it tike that hoe. I said *Cher.thsee'tkiktiii*40O0
2 link at it! It's not enough people looking at it lino that and Ones shy theillit4
do the nut shit that they do 2 us because instead of eaiiiniffiftilowe Pr444140 individualism
and then we get defeated individually". Charlene just i iii0hare and leaked at me and.
she said .2 love You so much. X-Just Sant you out of Wen.- X.0aid "Baby I'm coeinj up
out of me on that.but 4 right now I aid you 2 si t ro sexy 114.140.
moisomsthing 2 eat cause I'm hungry boot". She *ti nted **intend istd-w,
you hitt* not be looking at My eee either". I said "Then how I'M inn, nni ay, des
She said non is so nasty,come on hole and smiled. We ste . and-opJoyed,our visit. When
it was time 2 So chenille started crying and I had 2 talh.h0f,lalliwifieg 44400:sh4 wa nted.
2 stet. Marlin* cane 2 see se faithfully flit weeks
saw as brother damn, and he had got 04$ as hell ' X cUaiSiCiiii.that.he.had:hosaFtettiet
his lift on real crazy! I am over protective of my little O tt* so as soon as I-lot
in the Jail 2 iedtately fo und Out who hie.frieedn.Vere.: Selidal MY 1400hherSichinil
'Nike Mite' Copeland.' didn't into,* of aiec Of his friends cause they was attothonst4
mot 2 be trusted el I ran them off. Dainty approached me about it one day and401.1.fthiwn0I
know you love me and you only looking : oft C PO but you Ute. -i,Chomaily friends swa y nee.
/ said "Denny we are liens and we feed off of haselliii.444i*Shitektelohate4wmintit bent
*round with thee. we nailed and said *You stet thaniedIseesfeu .still -CtanitO. I,ssid
*ton am *7 little brother 004 the nalY,Piireon t trust with fainfati iii: nfiAr'enes like
Sam when u stinein gtI'm OR point aura when it coos 2's that's my .10b5sid , I don't
get days off.So I'm asking you little'bre itou don't gotta understand arrow. but just
trust my motives". Be shook his head and asked me about my visit with charism and I told
him about it. I stayed entop of Jolley and eventually gothha . moved in the cell with me
R. kfl4frbid
but he had been srodadcsuckas 4 so long..1010,„
lalid off on him and we 14•00-:
2 stone all of the time. be .dUn't want 2 clean u,lts would coca in and throw his
cloth*s aelitheriesod'Otti isp,i4t, of dolt food no ,tentairatiOti:4 S. I Understood Whit
it Use though* RiknolliontoitiCallt let hieudo WfintologHotwiintiltoohowaa used 2just
g whatever how** but he 4git 0014 was in the cell with his brother and4got
hlatrectlome button off. , One thing that he used rat vikis da44 me was read the
that I woulkasichim. 2. readOoen r alwaro been Wart t 4t4/thout ift : being• able 2
, rood him 4 all of thaw yearCtO4tantanicalty railing himself and the people around
Otis 2 scared of nth 2 ctallan gaitaithorit y. or tell him when he Aid something wrong
so warner gat th0468#UrtU OX4T,2 grow baCa4aa the* *Shea was onatltAt tt64; I?
After e while hi
getting banter,* Oldhalditac: ' tt* *Orli* street was 40
used .2 play my man sticks
the block with 10104 he used2 tiaras tow 2 Plat
taus it .had *lot othaatil: O0U0****
at houtadala too*
al*** Otr011 wl0 1074414110€11;RidOtak.000ir
little coopitne r debett.,047:
OOP and Cl int** "80040$ 2Wtiaaani tiT .-
.].ta nth*
4$142t4114444, 3*
NO047•Mtha Hubbard from costotrit14,.
Iptheirt Denald-lhOilon AintalefrOnroolorvitto. Theo* Or*.ttl,000pletnielopt
might arShkaod fight 4019.01Sfact otter but 0Or.40:1Mty:2- each other rOaatflod
i#13610. 4 the most part I tood ,:trell tan and stay 2 420AtT at tOutsdale. I'm not SOW
lejlaYthoen I first got thore ,flate:*O'my beg and atoppeerefitricot that was in there
doing sc.ethisg that generated money and I got trot* Oft . 04* teatatitahaultYwatt and
a looking good 4 me and my brother I fell, bath and slot arganit****T0
2 respectom and take- my
On slot of things. I kept slot of the codfuatOw down at
and I tan" slotat hootO that could*** got Prisoners and guards hurt. Through
d Dear Sistrunkoo Otorted.C.Allack 'Rotor? Book Club so we could teach the youth
, their history: and we used 2 put showson for the whole jail so slat of the YOOMPor
:inspected- on andiumitlotr. of love for ma.
14*-: **4 dina r had been collie/ 4 like five months I ended up going 2 , the hole*
little hoots on the block named Eric "8" Hevington. R was a littlo ldOde.bit.
Mm cause he had some heart and plus he was my man Alexander Mead's cousin so I
hit under the wing. r stayed in from the afternoon yard on this particular day and
• . they callod , halftime 4 Yard I' hit the button 2 open my Cell so I could come -out.
: Wilting on B 2 come back in from the Y ard 06 I could get this smut book frost**
I' liked. Mt came in and I was like "Ito El Let lo got that BTI . you goers He said now
-4 0-4i44441 Attai n *bout 2 . rumbla the boll Rob*.ent started moving his rugsoff of .the ground. I immediately switched m y snookers and nut my shorts and stoves on and Wa1tOdi•
*bully 444.2-was waiting 4 him 2 fuck up and fuck with one of mines! My hood*
don't tot in that.Letl-fiaht his own fights!". float
dtatf lame , and:ita
ailed cause I had *I mind made up already. 10b was 250 400s and ripped up like an *Otto*
hat. At this time my walk around weight was 210 pounds.
gdura4 8 was 150-POnn40
like "Come on in the cell El". I said "8/what happened?".
St ed
- and40h4Ostelinandwd0
isid 110 had Ott** at lunch and this n igia 119no reach on WY tray and
flake my pinta.
144, ruablingl ni lob said "This to between !fp and I shit" and went in H ilia: / pulls/1H 2'tho side and Said "GO heed to there but don't tOOk the door". R went in there and
ttled 2 *noble hiltut fifty a few -Opition I heard laay...%hin get this ntiga off of Mota4X' slid in the cell andRob had or little haste Ira in thorAtr,off of his feet choking him
out. I told Big *lacy 2 go spin the steed.
When 81g Ailey spun the ;turd I slid in the tell and told Rob *Let him go!" He said
"Slats you don't got nothing 2 no with Etter and continued choking 2. I hit his with a
itablo left hook 2 his triple, and he let K go and Z hit hint with ms straight right hand
that busted his 100,opom and dropped him. He went 2 got up and 'I hit him with another
fiat hand thatpot him on his ass. By this time 4 had got his breath back and we atOmpot
his :Orates is. Is tried 2 crawl out Of the cell, and hold on to the side of 8 door sole.
(weld pull himself out of 00 cell but I stooped the door on his fingers and he yeilmd
4 the c/o. I Stook my head because this pussy coo niggo . 0**ft bully ing all of the prisoners
on the block and now he :sting 4 the cops. I closed the door and we fucked hi* up some
merits I asked I if he had any extra *WO in the cell , so . ve could tie hint up and he Wit.
I' punched nob is-htaineuth- end . grabb00:hil by his hair and banged his head on the cOrcolen
toilet sad he went Out. We tied his Sande up first and than his foot and when the guard
Mode a round we pushed' him under the bunk and 1:got under the bunk with him and put 8
R. , JA. 6(MO
. .
aleemiell rag in -hie. south Just W-OMOMALMAktiNf...4440h0r20-40reaPieg . The guard mutt
by II em44 and i sot fPo4:A04 1%.4**.)0**_04,114t04.4001#94:Jodsr t he be eb 094 He was
*till out coltsol glaPiett: the shit on of hie,* few ttaesanthesterted 40mieg too
*little tit. X told :22 tow sate water on his face morIT'elid sturn- 74 ' heed shim I'm
*boat -2 lies on this night feet and wake hg a.O0 .4 tureed4t ,hied and A proceeded to
Rielly this champ end suprisinglV he woke up belittle* 100144Vesiing. I told 2 to gag
itts-mouth . and I lift out of:tbS'Areyield see* lee take siiiimir WhileT was in the shower
iS left Out of his cell eneaket.niggiVreb *he out of the Sheet Ld'starkeditollaring
abet what we did 2 , him-2 the Lieutenant when he eel* on the block and sitegibg li lock
+0 'sack and got •C and gjaMhegYer under investigation, Luckily m oe.m teehger.oarthet
X Oohed vtth . beetliiiithet.Mahed Tide' frod.pittabirg, - ,Idown there end told rob if
he 400t. tell eeeht4tY , that it Weilehhe end 4 thee he iv 'iceice in that cage with hie
and rob taiga satavitf tha t it'WeSe!tie hot they still helir:flaratil they completed their
Shbli,X we n
in the hole Chette,e'eset
her end tolthertNO
- ' .•., . ,lid
, . titti
. I wrote
. . — c. — ea
-, , Y ou rather
Si !Oft MAW. tali fee'hhegJ:V.Fge:t40 eggirasrf Bettie* my asshole att ;lustier
me wri te you telling you that Oboebeidy 10401E4 my'hesd up andI strin an oetit'O'hoOpital.
getting surgery cause I was * victim? Or wield yeu . retheria_ciikeirou and tell you that
rein:the hole 4 beleg:a warrior and hendecting myself likeejt-seit 0 deader. She wrote
me beck and said "Lisaking hate.fe" teeth! You always thirik : yett . knom what 2 sef in s I
seat her this poem i*-444.2001-ehtle,t was is the hole and she said it's one of her favorins. Tee titled "SY'Ttoel' Reur" And it goes like this* .
-21, nila Bad
sea have come b4 me
'aly 44100suib 2 their destined fate
)atipewg,souls have lost themselves
-...' thercouldn't handle ea ting from life's plots
.. .
I've looked death in the eye
WEI/Mere in; e reflection of aY fame
'Ye even witnessed * queen become a harlot
heius s' she thought her ties st rengt h lied below her waist
I walked through hill and felt It's fur!
*pi stumbled through- death'si debris
VI* eidountered hardships and adversities
but otter- one vas strong ***ash 2 bring me2 my knees
This ion!' shattered compseadea ged hope
. airearted a notion 2 become hoodlumsand thugs
Pre had my heart broke by venomous Moan
but never once did I ever give up on love
Through *leery and pain I fought vehemently
WW1, feeling 4 my way in the dark
Evil spirits have possessed my thoughts
bet Mould Dever capture the essence of ef heart
I. el* created on a planet full of rags and hate
._-.VierrOunded by inhabitants that didn't love se
They ettatfied my flesh with their lap M mankind
by • hypocritical society that weight 2 J udge as
Sot eerier once did I protest or whimper
WI If heed elver* remelned. high
Ames" X kne w whaki possessed is eternal
and Tilos the air 4 breathe it will never die
R frokavx)
Se / walked tbis'earth MAMA
*Mt my purpose *cult be in Itra
Betas" COD allowed me 2 loot in2 the future
flitter ulderstatd why r hat flight
UV I finally realize m y mission
414 r i te imbrAied ever ything tha t I ete meant 2 do
Obo - 4011011 4 04. 0 44 I can gledly jetneft'ay death
as teat as my final
bout can
be=iieet frith-yeu°
Charism Loved that poem and
out of abs hole and released back
Oa t i t 4101 444
in2 . iefal4440os.
444 vs missed eeenthor so mush that. we 4114,"
444- 4441* in the limiting eren4114;42,7114,U,
%might it and only geOntlVtegtOPtiloas eat
eflb denef and 44-444 110,4449,445;n0".Uhe.
end- doter ended up kerintil leriumant about our
as my emit I admit. I • started asking dojo*
• ; got
-tello 404 net 44 ;reek?
be in ay ilk 1o44oroki get ISO,
Thiel his loss! Leek at you maarinia'itoniin o t watt you o ludo and
/ "We know why omS kotennettf.441:40 4Z that nine love!"..understood where . 44140
emits free but I seeded p ia 2 understand my point Of view and where I wo40.4044$ 404
tee* All of nio liftiotten in them 604r hoses' X 40 4,40. 14t OS4 iniatiCalt-00 that
finkla didn't want, I ,
I 044olt Mood- *mask and 1. 4oet 444bed some aneisys,c2oenre, I wentedl hear from hi.
wan 2t1:04Ott 02 my life and
and 110 - ,24
let sthat
147' Alinside
shit2 be tted and 211.44 wanted 2 ask hie ii140"*. 40 had about me that
41054- ble not Oat I star and be apart of my life/ While rate:WM* about atroonar
wriMit sr this poem titled °I guess it don't attar* and dropped it Os tay 1SPAiano 2 real
sett/ter I read it I cried and hutted my little brother cause he touched a thats heart
with this sue. The poem went like' this:
lift slosh
*I Mutes it don't matter
when ;tell you try lots is true
Aid I guestrAt don't:latter.
When I show yetitheres no liet te„ ta at I will DO
Out of ell people
I thought me end you were the 414410...
. Bat.yotiattlet
at Challenging me in.thene:eib.fletteeee
rut you
will it entliabie
It MAU, 2 program'
fill that Meditate we carried
as kids
WI en about
who's tither i.e more capable and ready to ride
fhtIshol e father
VU first to impregnate moss
It's *bout
um Stopple, the cycle
00:404Sties to e-lewel
that Will surpass Retold and Michael's
I tell you this obis.
beams* I'll alwera -ride beside you
always remain your Stick Damon
AS matter the n et or YetPe
And YOU'il always reesin to ms
Mahan :Dente Andre Jackson-my lifelong ,
I gave pony the pinion .$21401Manit 'beceuse when we were 1 0e neethAvecAld do all
kinds of shit and never get ClaghC,T-M0 And my Meter "lad pet our nahihna#00v 4 ihit
he did: 24-i lwaYs - wea on some smooth
ea . f, Ravi him' On f nickname.; I warkt:,-,2-atage
4 44 reco rd that e7 little f brother in the blood that :fligCahrongh'eY, taltetbe's the
air that my lung.
hiVd.2 survive. :. Eierfthing:;, 4001104* *Ti that r MilleinerY goal
44rnt- I ac4041101410.410 4 my1 0.0*.i breth ile. 4 .14.r.r.-0440000441 0 . 40at I 4604Utir
is done 4 MY iitili'brotherila4:thOtiength an ambition thet-dingile:0412F20.44n4
when I'doirt tiave snrePri60.0efrie.the tank. 14004**00t40 -4
4 : 2 me
and Ise always herd on him because
of my life V*.just been 40,1****,:41,4 fan
op 1 sae all of the-mihkete0ArhitW : V. Pete Peter on my heart muld'i:*400**12.5esehie
les44-0i the *tents I lede4trOlhed it he 'I had itl'Afl'-theitivd4O041000if my heart
Sad-I Jun Want the best 4 hisli Fern* a Peek 441i ti t. led "Danny" and here it leo /
iota you Utak DeSenh
70#0t 1
"2-2 the highligh t of ef life
and your essence is incapable of being explained
0 I the quintessence of 107410
es well Ai the antidote 2m7 plain
twi P never be able 2 elucidate
OW deeply / love and
Until the day 1 die I
respect 0
will always regret
the day I absent mindedly left U
When I reflect back on happiness in at past
Te strength always brought me agnatmity
0 were ay crutch et times I fe l t.,ecet mat
sad I thank V 4 being a dear friend 2 me
But !nohow I lost out on some time in ya Ufa
en 4ortanatel y it hasn't been replaced b y hate
So I Just wanted 2 tell Intuit V it th e hest lil t brother iq the world
04 I died and it was 2 latets..*
24 I go on I wane' take ya/1 .back 4 a minute 2 a moment that touched mot-It happened
on December 13,2005 at 12103an. I Cried on this da nA04444 to angr y at ni as bleat
people because wecontinuoaly allow this 2 happen 2 aa.-41hase of you who are not familiar
with'the time and date net I J uet jen tieent.#! ! the time and date that they took anther
One of our black Jenne from ual li"n the day and time that they haled Stanley Neste
Williams! It wasn't bid enough that they railroaded him at his trial 4461 2 Aie ign0ance
when in all scitalltr due 2 1 hie iencrenclitY- leethe wasn't nee suPPrefe tineve been :tompnest enough 2 stand trial' ln e you le t the nvenr#1400reinetcr acint ' 2:erica an d
lilt stubss wi th this sae and thin turn right around sak'tillhigklmosues he wouldn't
adittK2 a cries that he has been saying: We innocent of for decant! Let's be honest
Kriterminatoroou killed that men .b00444 2 'natter n his conviction would be 2 admit that
this reein-,Opprassite country Just took the-bestjeers out of another innocent blackne's
life by utilising this systematic -silvery whin c4/100 the Judicial system! You knew
that he would've been able -2 sus atdetilliev.that money 2 help build 0 the black .communits.
las instead of destroying them! You knew then his positive plan 4 the CPUS/ 'Why else
would you wait all of these years? When he firstgot put on death row yell watched him
*ad sew that at first he still had traits of bitterness and negativity in htm do rail
let hit Jive as long as he was being counterproductive and he was influencing other people
Q. 14c k e&
g isgalta in that counter :preductivene$141.-While_benOwLet i ll uneducated and isneientibe
was Sued enough 2 h eel' 84140,44#7.
As long as be wasn't (* . threat 2 theaqieblishmentes long as be wasn't a Christ 2 the
demi so caned Order of thtageoW/Ong es he kept toniti***Aledkeen and'hlanbeesen
sing so they wouldn't be ails 2 see* think their welivieof there current condition*
and continue 2 fall 4 your duplicitytbrainweehingond trick* that you have centinuosly
used 2 keep us in these conditions of poverty! As long as he wasn't teaulting'yeteger black
metes and black women who thrkireand showing thee how 2 rebuild inatemitdk1Wilte\es
long as he wasn't encouraging young black min 2 be betteriathera thusbindet ioUs tand friendsi
2 their brother! ,aslong as he wasn't teaching young bilOoromen how 2 be better daughters;
wiresisonsaisterstand friends .2 other Hatt womentes ions as
wasn't encouraging unity
Asetead, of keeping us on this perpetual cycle of indivt44440* that yell constantly use
2 divide and tangier-se t ae lonteeikwasest tryi nc l ' stflP- cair: Peop le from GeSSittleg
and perpetrating crimes and ath4Otelent acts against eadhnthet,and-kwavOrrin these
prisons where you make more Seal, *If of us" this we can =he O ff of ourselves! ,As long
as be wasn't trying 2 encourage black men and flack wasp:* get 4.n2 politics so we can
Isere bow; 2 fight properly 4 *bat wo need! SP boairoa/LY SOTertriesterou
Peek and watched his people self , dietruct and helped 2 genocide each otherteteashe
i then hews*
capable of living on this planetphidhP
Why emit until the man changed-hiSCWhole life around? Why . Welt until he's nominated
4 a Isobel peace prise? goy wait zeta he educates himself and starts': educate' others?
Why wait until he goes from counter productive 2 productive? Wh y wait until he betide
2 turn the trips from something negative 2 something positive/ Why wait until this so
celled heartleas t violest individual dedicates his life 27'Obenee and the betterment of
his people/ WRY? 1'11 toll you why ! Beaus, you need us 2 nay in this i g norant stage!
Ion need ma 2 continue perpetrating crimes against each other! You need us 2 continue
2 be deadbeat dada! You need nil 2 continue being deadbeat moms? You need as 2 continue
thinking that ignorance is cool and boos smart is unpopular! You need us ,2 vontinuedeete
roytng,our communities! You need us 2 continue thinking ne gative and being counter Prom'
deceive-I You need us 2 continue committing crimes and filling these prisons an! You need
our black women 2 continue getting abortions and killing off all of our future levistsidest
orefor the next Baru& Obamal You need' us 2 continue treating our black women like shit
and treating Yo u r white woman like Precious cargo' You lf ood us ' 2 continue degradingolehuee,
nimingtraping t abustagond depreciating our black women so they can no longer see anything
good in detlose faith and stop believing in na t io they'll run 2 the white sea with open
arms and help you 2 h oeP Your race alive! fen need us 2 continue focusing on h oist the
next Vicky Barnes instead of the next MI . Gates! You need. us 2 start the next drug organisation instead of the next Panther Pear! Besically t you alid us 2 stay sleep end not
realize what's
really going on in this country an not only will we not moats° what Dewitt
ehengingtve Elet sten know. how .2 change it and * a lba!' who trios 2 woke Us 00 and take
the blindfold off of our eyes will end u p like rookie or any other one of our black leakkaar
that you have killedsmurdered.ot warted us in2 murdering! So let's put it all on the
table Mraerminatoros killed Stanley "Tookie" WilltemsenOthecause he was guilty of a
crimet not because he was this so delleOheartlese t violent-individual,because yall got plenty
of those in prisons all around the country that yell ain't kill or put 2 death! Yell killed
Stanley *rookie" Utilises because he had i n ternetiopel influence and if he used that influence 2 stop all those thatf011oWedheniod him from being counter productive and detroying
our race and our communttiseithen.hi was takinveopeynnt slot of yall pockets because
we wouldn't be filling these prisons up and the politicians wouldn't be able -2 set their
palms Inwood and the goverment wouldn't have any more riesoes 2 non* up with these oppressive Laws that need all of this extra money from the tax -Pa yers 2 get passed! Killing
Stanley *rookie" Williams was much hisser then justice it was business and it was personal!
Tin nod and I'm disappointed at turas a race because we will pick up these guns and
unite 2 kill each other over a lackstotome aneakers tmofteyjewelrysa petty argument ' s Galati',
4 looking at each other a second 2 long, We pick up these guns and arm ourselves and we
SO our end kill 4 ever y thing meaningless! When will we pick op ,these guns and start killing
4 something meaningful? How much longer are we just going 2 Standby and vetch our people
be *hot down and killedin these streets b y people who are supposed 2 be protecting us?
Wow much longer are we going 2 stand by and watch our sons,fathers,husbands t and brothers
set killed and then watch as they go scott free? if another blackman killed your sontfather
or highend u will go 2 the ODUOf t ht4Hitgh 2 thad who did it and relentlessly seek 4tatilie
4 your 1011 oast SAY is it that Whon-thOtkilikrearAlfete nlat se[bitS004,110,000 and
vs 1100 h44.2 for g ive? Va . not-tellin g anyonef g go,outhpd:kill any onlioo or
what l's strintio.if you can 4giitotheln 4 killing your loved ones and go on with life
husitteas,es - asunl UcC uot Pate &wit r eves8P4 t4n.vbi oestt Y ou d e that 4 Ya
brother or state? Blonkman we are se weak! Our unman dentt iron love or rat** intim
fidt4POste b*OeSee we dele. t PPOCA' shitt Our volute are now turning 2 other wnand
44410441 4 strength sod aSabiiitY.•;:iiAanktten,when wilt u realire that without
our whole race will become chaeiate ? Wh y wo ul d Y ou MiatrOtenPrdet t eed 40414Piele our
gamberone commodity on this planet? Why are you eliottietTlyer y other ra ga 2' benafit'off
totti Pitteious big ekitautu .sere ' thea we eta?
0. 1040000 we gotta sake the fuck 401 - ded stand the fuck up and protect what's ours! Lees
OVe' OPPes fists* a reattani:.PtUtt,10ingttePPaUtAUBrancreOPreUietting us she * Biel black
aeaa I 100 jail and h9P40.14 , 44. 1 01 Soon Uitlitilet it 2Bet*
iiilluttl-. $1 ** I it"
Ve reli two PO OP.41.:crOte4 :011 titled
Di* 411 saik*Tevietibl eit s4444bei X wrote
Stanley *
4 "bregbe
Teatiarehaliems titled "Guilty Till' proven Ittniteent w ee*4 poem that
i ltitign *bo ot the ai udeen te - Chat the blackout is in tigheirea titled "The lions that wauldif
Bit fight back". X-hope yall enjoy them! Were they are:
Too!te ;teen hirticy2 PrPPOOtPtlaseenge ts tand revolutionaries
stood sad fought 4- oppressed aen..
140,COPtivit in ienstentiecies
D' rietkod ' re life in order ,2 achieve freedom
rescued slaves and even fought , 4 tights
*Von though u didet.need'amitifire ruled empires
and destroyed armlet' with the swee p
your hand
16fOr iFS*0 Presence
.11001- the coldest of matt
10d /eye is ntionglconcerning,and patient
ody through your Iota
Cm we help 2 populate this black nation
roar' 00setweia Beautiful
sitivihe-scienote and sophistication of the sphinx
Basal* without. U on this earth
oar ibele-epecisaryOuld• becea0 esti**
bit the Mother oflittnahe beckb ons Of:bail?
SS the most Precious gift any king coati wish 4
40 thine Blacknosten
U I 2 Die 41"../..
"firat of ell,1 want 2 apologize 2111Y. black queens
on behalf of the males in or b lack nee
Sins I wish I could wipe *Sa l 011 of the tears
thi t, repeatedly run down y4 4 fee*
tt ideeply burro no 2 my 'heart
2 sea that your beauty is misused
400 babygirl X hate it when U err
in the swan that O get shaesid
4Imok Queen ',apologise 4 your pain
sad the way that we mistreat U
-- Beaune even though sarlight not agree
hiiese i t given the resit 2 hurt or beat U
Bat biUmgmaaton we're weak
ad I Mtn that *might not understand
That last beaus I was born atteculine
m en
detiest . seen-tinttal e
StstS I POS I that U can 420..**
4 all of ACY;Orrots, and 044010
And GOD willing in due time
I lust night accumulate whet it cakes
2 treat U like the Win are
with tionor o lovo latiOrsdiatiPa i404 respect
kreninAteul* hettihtfO
14 - ?
and 4 IT t wouldn't even fair 'deal
rasafted this WO/Wiry 2 braskrtt
Sit beta**. of SAir Beauttful ileitkhreagw
"jai what **bog y faF-V rin
4 2 averdAstrkTi*Uh404s
(40 I Oftt 0 01 MOhOISOA#0104.f0fiell
flItof the tiertetheseCkk*to-thet I-caused
end brace me
*flea ° it U dc'et-42iVene
thin my whole nation will be alt . *,total loss'....
T1111 Prole* Innocent!
*4tat because a matt sakes mistakes
40'00% mean that he Can 't chan geJ.
The world is full:ofrainbows
that only cone out after therain*? if U choose 2 judge a men
Ostesscad that M's human first
Never 4get about the good he's done
' n 2 crucify him at hi s worst.
Vfla t tYPS of nor * wou ld, this be
At e. didn't try 2 lend a helping hand?
Satisfying our own personal Creed
eitAgettin g about' our fellow man Use' if we honestl y wanruk change
es suet first protect our printer
Atutito tea t our sacred black netlem
b4 we are genocidal by our WA society
We are an endangered species
wasted because of our dolor
So II wilt never be-4gottin Tackle
4 betas a strong black fearless brothels,.
Itisa That tioulda f t 11%/ht Back"
once saw a group of lions rooming twthe wild
they looked stron g ifeerlessfend fierce
from the Oults.down 2 their youngest child
witched them play with each other
esdfshow each ether love
hOtodi4aCt in their survival skills
the kings of the jungle.lios the female down 2 the cabs
.111,0 One day a group of rabbits apprestiCed the pack and I knew 4 sure that the liana would stop then dead to their
But tht,Iions backed down
'Pt let the rabbits take over their territory
The rabbits set rules all acrossthe land
then enslaved the ether lions and destroyed their glory
I Mew that this winnow the end of the track
Iq l
Someone who is like a little couein to me was an my block with me too. His name is Karen
' "Murder" Harper-El. This is my fucking heart! We go back 2 the streets. Murder was taking
money on the streets and would not hesitate 2 let his gun got Me and him used 2 slapbox,
wrestle and play around all of the time. One day he was grinding ma up for fucking his
cousin shamika and his aunt cookie. The crazy part was that I didn't even know they was
related until after I had sax with shamika. Me and Cookie had fucked when I first came
Wise. I saw her talking 2 my man Getz on the strip one day and saw she had a fat asetshe
was a nice oldhaad chick and I want at her and we got it on. I had initially met shaiika
on Tyriek block cause some nigga she was with tried 2 set up shop on our strip and Tyriek
told one of the youngins 2 come get me out of the driveway gambling and I walked up 2 mains,
WELA and slapped the shit out of hie and the chick he was with thought she was next and shafts said "Rhonshawn she pregnant!". I said "My beef ain't with her shorty.just get
dude outta here". The next, time I saw her was at Geez crib, I went over there 2 get this
Riggs up and when I walked in the room they was sleep and she was laying on the bed ass
naked looking good!
I celled for Geez but I reached out and rubbed up her leg and she kicked at me still
sleep . I did it again and she woke up and saw it was me and was like "Boy stop playing!".
I said "Damn &Mayo! couldn't tell that you was working with all of this under them clothes .
but yoa looking good!". She said "Stop looking at my butt!". I said "I can't even see Ya
buttiturn to the side for me",and I turned her to the side and she didn't protest so I
rubbed her ass and she kicked at me". I said "Giez I l mma wait downstairs for you" and left
out the room. A couple minutes later shamiks came down the steps dressed and sat on the
couch and went through her has and got her toothbrush and stuff and went upstairs to the
bathroom to clean up. B4 I left she came back downstairivend said "Don't be feeling on
my ass no more either!". I got in her face and said "Whet you gone do if I do?" t and felt
on her ass and grinded on her pussy. She had lust all in her eyes and t said "When you
gone get with me or is Y ou gone mike me Chase You like one of these lames?". She said
"That's up to you!". I said "The next time I run into you t we doing us alright?". She' said
s t hear you". I backed up off of her and left.
• The next time I saw her I was toxins through the hood and saw her outside the 7-11 store
on the 'syphons. I getup on her and said "What you doing?". She said "I'm with somebody
right now". I aid "Who?". She said "Tyriek". I didn't even notice his green J-30 parked
right in front of me cause it was on a angle like he jumped out real quick 2 go In the
store. I hated 2 do it but I already made the commitment, that if I ran in2 her again it
was on se I ended up taking her down south philly. I ain't gone lie.this chick had some
of the best pussy I ever had! She was Kenya Moore chocolate and! literally couldn't stop
fucking this chick! We fucked all night long! Everytime I busted a nut in her and my dick
went soft,ell she had 2 do was , touch it and it was back up again! I Nuked her so good
and so hard that in between me fucking her one time she said "Why is you fucking me like
this?". It was like 8am in the morning and somebody paged her. She called them back and
started talking but the angle she was laying on had her ass looking so juicy that I had
2 hit while she was on the phone.
So I'm stroking her and then I say "Yootell whoever you talking to that you'll call them
back!". Whoever was on the phone heard me and told her to put me on the phone. After she
argued that she wasn't going 2 do it for a couple minutes she ended up passing me the phone,
got the phone and was like "Yo,wha this?". The person on the phone was a woman and she
said "This is shamika's mother and I find it very rude of you 2 tell her 2 hang up the
phone while she's engaged in a conversation with me. What's ye' name?". In my head I was
like "Damn!", I said "Hy name is Rhonshawn". She said "From 77th and Ogontz?". I said "Yeah,
damn how you know that?". She said "Boy this is Cookie!". I just dropped the phone on the
floor and laid back on the bed surprised. Shamika said "Rhonehawn how you gone just drop
the phone on my mom like that?",and went 2 pick the phone up off of the floor. She picked
it up and while they were talking she just turned around and looked at me with a mean face
that was getting madder by the second. She hung the phone up and was like "My mom though?
Rhonshawn you rucked m y mom though?". I said "Came on Mika i that was b4 I met you. Plus
we not in a relationship". We had a heavy argument after that and she wouldn't even speak
to as all that day. Murder be grinding me 2 dust about that shit when we run 1n2 each other.
I remember a incident that taught me clot and it involved an incident with the Blood
gang and the Crip gang. At this particular time at SCI-HoUtzdale their were equal members
in both gangs. I Was equally cool with both sides. It wee a youngboyl that was like my
little brother that was there nailed Hari "Big" Brownlee and he got in2 an incident with
some of the bloods due 2 a bad business move on his part and his pride made him say "Fuck
itl". It was a Crip member from pittsburgh there named House who I flicked with heavy and
he fucked with Big heavy and my godbrother Mika Mike. Once House heard about it he immediately said "Bigpfuck them lloods,tell them pussies theyvburnt!". Big started listening
2 this and decided that he wasn't going 2 honor his commiteent that he had made with the
Bloods. My youngboyl Big got alot of heart but sometimes he don't got alot of sense cause
be doesn't think things all the way through and he just reacts.
Someone who is also tight with me that is Blood nailed Sleaze is who Big crossed so Sleaze
Sled me to . the side and said "Shiz I lore you like a big bro' which is why I'm coming
tio you with this.anybody else I Would've just said fuck it and started putting niggas
on the menu moveless. But ye' -youpein Big made a promi* to my man that the next time
Yell scored that he would give my enka good price on something and now that he got it
in fucking with them faggot ass trip niggas and acting like he ain't gone honor his
'alai My Sin wanna pop his top but we fuck with you so we bringing it to you first". I
said eDialn,I ain't even know nothing about this but I respect the fact that you had the
courtesy to pull my coat and that won't be overlooked. Who's ye' men that Big made the
promise to?". Sleaze said "It was my man bones",and then he motioned for bones to come
Over and join the Conversation.
I knew Bones real well end we tucked with each other heavy. Bones was real skinny but
he was dangerous with a reser or a knife in his hand. Alot of cats slept on his and that
always gave him the advantage. Bones walked up and said "Shim what's up big bre?". I
said "Ain't nothing. I'm just tryna get to the bottom of this situation before shit get
ugly and I need you to tell me what happened between you and my youngin". Bones said "Shim,
the nigga told me that something was coming in and that if it come off he was gone give
me a nice price on something and San when it cbme in I ask hint what's up and lie tell
me he gone holler at me later but go and do business with them other niggas so I was like
Luck it,I'mma just take all his shit but Sleaze told me that that's you and Mike Mike's
so I said Shit fucks with us so let's just go holler at Shiz". I smiled at Bones and said
"I'm glad that you did and like I told Sleszeithat courtesy won't go unnoticed. Let me
go holler at Big real quick and I'll get back with yell before yard goes in". They said
alright and I went to holler at Big.
I ran in2 Big and he was with Mike Mike sitting on the bench. When I walked up Mike
Mike said What's up Vito?". That's a nickname that Mike Mike gave me referring to Vito
Corleone off of the Godfather. I laughed and then turned to Big and I said "Yount& I
want you to be honest with me. You always say that you love and respect me and Mike,well
lying to us is a sign of disrespect. Now I want you to be honest and tell me if you proms.
Seed Bones a nice price on something when the next flip arrived". He said "leah,but easebody else had better price for me and I could make more money so I went with them".
Mike Mike said "Big you out of pocket! You gotta honor your word man! If you wasn't gone
do it you should've never said it". Big said "I was gone look out just not on this one.
I know I gave my word but niggas break they word all the time". I spoke up and said "Big,
I'm not one of those niggas i neither is Mike,and we don't associate with none of those
type of Rinses. So here's what's going to happen,you're going to honor your word and give
them a price on something nice and in good faith you're going to put something extra on
it. Am I clear?".
Big started fiddling with his fingers and I'could tell that he was mad. He looked at
Mike Mike to see if Mike was going to bail him out and I said *Mike is my brother he's
not going against me man so you can stop looking at himore we clear?". Finally he said
"Yeah". I hollered at Sleaze and Bones and let them know that Big would be correcting
that tomorrow morning. The next morning me and Mike Mike was working out on the pull up
bar and then Mike went to the poker table. Big came and got the MP3 player from us and
at this time me and Mika was the only ones with a MP3 player in the jail cause they Were
not allowed in the jails yet. Big walked off listening to it and I went to the poker table
with Mike Mike to see whet he was doing. About twenty minutes later Big came to me and
said he needed me to walk with him to go speak to the Bloods. I said 'For-what?". He said
*They had just came at him like they wanted to shake him down. I asked him was he dirty
and he said he was. We walked over to the bench where they all were.
a i3A-as-oit,
the bench ilfkajfalet04-kraBOMMatin Scote r? "Sporty" . Caine.
As !twos /walked Wen_
But slut of luro for Sporty. SPOrttit ytentell-Yeitt:.nalalaIlbaniett. guard assault cue
OS I lore his itlel tbi Atartf said "Skis why th_1
40.01IgtenblOPctanning to tit You after
they get theyself-In !girt** bullshit
Lemilatentlissf4 "Be - easy Sport".
It was *bout twenty Bloods sitting on tide bench a nd: I4 U0404 With ell , reemo I said "What
happened between last night and tenilibtrs14411P0k0 up and
ethir.yowtotto ask
YOutt$* Ho MATtef-10,044 si$441 .1aSirtWhielfeneit en the strength of yolubut
older -aeinsin into Vas Illtslirothv
he pushing it bre" fr: BSI was like fatly too. Him and ors* Reds was a quiet stere o X us e 00100:04 looked at bit and .seid "What they talkies
000atro Big just shrugged his shoulders.. ShabtoOnother quiet storm that I fucked with
*WY thou *Poke *Pend sOi dj"Shinilon said that YOungio was supposed to correct his .istake bra' but be acting like
tone 40 le. I inetediate4 tet- filX*040 mu!'
if itwasn't for my loY0ItYtWOUI4ITO. let MOM have Welt !Jove the little nigge and
I was TOUft$ once too.
I turned to Big and , osid. "Bidet)**taik about Sof 44000nO luck is wrong with your.
Sig said "Let me hailer at you over
real onicepanChnlited,eo to the side away from
the Croat. When w-Otero *cooed, distance away 4i4 004 "ShiSdOnnivintne, is taint 414401.1446
tbssosiggss to wari'reiettkiseing my word with them.. Fock s oml". 1 IH***,ittewhttever
you *melds to do with Boose to on_y00 0 loot as long 40 me and Mike Mike . iitheihosses and
you wort for usodons e ever oirtozsarl!he i nele with Ya s_let/Isteit you got going on.I gore my word that this mould be eleetWOLICtiktbeti.e_ubat'049incto happen. Ye Stupid ass
not even thinking, If you end heyuali start this_friroloumee, war yell planning then the.
Jail tett* locked down and how we*ace get rid of our shit and make money. A major shaledown PAO mean that we tone have to flush *lot of shit and lose- money! Did you over think
shoot thoty w o we sneak his head and said "New". I said "T know you didn't. So if I ask
you to do somothincyountin s a nut you to trust my mind. You tucked up and you Went to
listen to House and go to war with them but House's agents on why he wants to go to war
from yours. So over there right now and give them 0. pries on whet you got
Co head!",
enty00. All of itowhatever it
Big walked over-and;414 it and Slesie walked over to me and said "That's why r toy.
you atm and ma tine it to any Riggs shout you brel l".and hugged me, Shaba and Sporty
culatt over a nd said 'Skis slay* saving those nittearoan d knitted me and laughed. I walked
off with Big and I told him "If you do good . business with people and you are Writhes
people will appreciate that and they'll never forget thot“sshothot was alabaster *so
thought that you had youngin s obOt it. eao . * stupid ass move that could've* coated you your .
life on the stmt. If you giro re nordokonor it! Don't let Somebody else us* you for
their own self interest. You got slot of Mare but you need sloe of brains to compliment
that hurt. We all got used Bigothaes_o law Offilatu rk_ for people truss one soothers
The problem* occurs when somebody misuses yon. So start thinking mar* and don't let nobody
*lie turn you into a pawn on tholes chess board. TOO 4444444d met". Big said "Isahof
understand you and thanks for always having m y back. I BOOM I be having you and Mike mod
but I'm /earning and I don't want Yell 2 think that I don't approoloto what poll be doing
for ofe. I said wit's cool. X. Just peed you to trust our minds when we tell you things".
Re said that he would and we Went in from the yard.
A 'couple days later I ran in2 Honse and we talked to the gym while I was working out.
I asked him why he hated the Bloods so much and why they hated the Crips so much. I honestly didn't know the history behind !one of this hate that seemed to be automatic as soon
as these two groups saw oseko thOrisSOutle siti4 ilhisothO' history of this hate is too long
for e* to give you right now but -Plat Wow that I don't fuck with them nines! Thom nines
is slobs and I toa s t fuck with s emr. I didn't understand nothing Hanes had just said to
me estop that he hod hated them so I tried another ap proach. I said wrest me ask you something Rouses Who is ye tree enmity/ Like l if You had s gun in ye hand right now in this
Om who would you try to kill with it?". Be said "PI of them Stood niggaal"..f said "House
op you would walk right peosehosoeuards that hive besOdistes pectiog you and devoting
1610 on a daily basis and holding yeteeaptive from Ye' family and treating you like shit
peat to go kill some blacks*, theeikwearing 4 color that you don't Mot Are you listening
2 what you're saying?".
He said "Naw.4**- Shimo yon putting it in a whole other perspective now. I ain't mean
it like that!". I said "What otherperspective is there2 - havs? The Bloods out The Grips
ire two of the biome gangs in 404tiC4 and Tall least* time going at each other and destroying communities roan then coming together and rounding. House If yell case
author yell could dims aear_OVOr.thrhetheltekiet-OPIPttfLeith the influence .tba!";-1C451°
rat in-communitiOcall te riwit the ,00eatrY* jf 1011.0.01Y:00010,00e the Wier that Yell
sotpl . botiovi that yoll'wodem been put thee potty sirs differs/ice to the side and mee
together and . stititod-iell , own eivesest to help 'Mote leper neighborhoods'. Rouse say(
ell hiSoill that shit sound .good but hiffse is ha ngin g, g idiss is ki lling ai liessf This shit
ain't gone stopoit's only gone get Worst! Yosh i ' would like to me us 40 some powerful
shit but atoms is in too deep nowL1/14014s famil y ember* deaa get killed! Brotherstmos.
Masetomusiatireghters.fatheisidois all got kilted iathio'shit Shisi Maybe if etched
the from of ainitiou pot now back then before al/ the killin g started.tbe* maybe we might
have been able to tease firellet . te r right now . ftt fats is ', W ig t he y gun got Shis 0 I put
meth in out there:nista, from my City will tell you! After I ilme put a siege father down,
Mango and 4400 hoes on
or somebody eaa it the gra and*1044 -come to jail and 4
000 fall beck shit.shen thoo-niggse pull up on me with dintt:pistol-so the y can get back
for they family ;Member X dens took any froo temowbet
ain't into that
no meet Lehettlitel life around? That 01.801 'Poo 0s7 e/Oithh well Telli feet:44m all
the we: beak and peel vUttbitb ieh'* hi al 0o I feel you bre het ' strakelgies ts J est at
sales dos e to doreet :ot te ki ehit or t hon gs'.
I in hack and I digested( everything be had J00t said to M. It was reidt440 it was
reality. I had soon so many Of,er,oldboods and homies who tried to change theirLimo
go out to OM streets and Set killed within 24 hours 040OAPS'leMeevilurtlered in bather
houses and all 144 felt where- he litOr'e0eitg from se4 it made me eat 10ahino at the
teat that it mo lten for se to tell him to ;haute obilel WO.iiprison bat his was on
his:warbock to the streets, He was t oted to the semi community that he had terrorised.
Re was going back -to the lam tilling fields that he had once slaughtered Moo to tell
hie to go out there and not keep that gun on his and defend himself would be to lose concept of reality end toll t h is young cat that got sticarelove and respect for me to go
ah# commit suicide. It was a harsh realitybut it was a reality and unfortunately it was
his reality. / took in everything Homo had j' ust droned on me end I- said eliousepafter Marine you
break that shit down like that it gam me a better picture O f whet you are up against.
Xtegone be real with youjor m to toll you not to mottoand keep that thing on you
in that hood you in would be to toll you he commit suicide.but are you looking at a end
game? Can y ou move out of the hood that you are in? I think. that if you really wanno change
then those options need to be etP / Orld • If you olin'tirO4.tboo only two things are going
to happen fousootither you glue kill somebody sloe or they're going to kill you'. Rouse
16044 ea is the eyes and said "Shit.' live with that reality overyday..1 got kids so
I do mans chimes coin I can't he doing this banging shit when I'm 40.70 leers 014*
wanteishove fun with the grandkids and all that good shit* But for right-OPelbislit's
kill or be killed with ea". I didn't like the response kit'Irtmi i100 shooter to another.'
had to respect it * From talking to Rouse I realised that this gent life was serious and
some of them that are on the front line are just too deep in the ocean to even think about
swimming back* I-mowunderstood that as hazardous and treacherous as their lifestyle was.ot
the end of the day . it was their lift and until they found a better altarnative 4 thon this
is bow they accepted that they would die.
' 7 . tfl.3t2 whal. s weft at4404,44414 1
es* *setstag
14.0 in contact with
and he
Itt A tben , I found Sibrothe r
by 'MY site
dews 0204 01. $4 4* PiMOMi 00 6 1 4- PS.41.1-t °ht.
40 4/ 6144Ceddhile
14, pout
nit ** 41 00 in h i** Mae, is my heart end 1/11 144P
M* brother Mike just bewest1a0 44-2 C41444141 and so"
hole .44.rviebtafi
tts ova any man that atilt-44B L auY-, tyPe ot eoral e s iiitei
hee04404 Pricuth104.
.4W4121 Welt, him00 will
,40 in Char 4.40 ia priso n,J044440 40*r are thine
that he Jost will not emmiliss . 4-:
found C r ystal...;while I was at houttdelaihies
I-aalled my mom One day and at
qu *not Ir Pte l $4**OU.e qd he looks just like
b°71* *
IsecDfP11040471, She said*See 4Iw th ie . b4 1?0,1444, t like you *.h0c
you was young". It sot me 2 thinking feel deep. My pop Mee dflitdMUIC-44.-1,Aittatitti)
vases about 2 repeat that cycle. If this was my nonwoven With me being in
he 'meld
have the beet that this life had 2 offer and I would make. sure of it! r Oa* uom 2
have Crystal eve therm 2nIte whoa,/ called and she said that she would have her there goat
4 44.
I called later an that night and Crystal answered the phone. I said "Damn girl./ heard
u out there:tryne be me". fr ys101 ;linked and said °I ain't trims be no whore'. I said
"Come on I wiemet that bad". She 004 IIISuchau lth had $404 catching gibe over ya' hags,
i0214eS, up
hairnets/14d 44e0 Wei even knocked an my door asking that house u lived
in, You did all thit shit right in frontof se! So how is u net a whore?". I said "Alright,
['a Dot tairee get ic2 all C tat 4 Just wanted 2 te1h 2 u about seeethie e. She said "What'.
9,:1, 1010" I erked a seed?'. She said "fiab ia sere sleep e his professional nature
2 givet* Of me end mi., a daaid e t.4 . 0et ire. I sa id °Se w"w bu t I did remember sleep tell.
thg_Matheitio-hed some flicks from * chick on my mom block t hat he needed 2 send 2 me
b4 he
leaked UP that I never g ot. I Gould hear the Sinaloa in bar voice and she must've
thOthOttakehl knew about her #44 all of this time but didn't get with her which wasn't
Meil'beelese I was in love with frystal and I really wanted a eon by her and I commun.
Cited this 2 her on * 000 1 OUP0s100k'
qua 14 Seshawa n . I noticed that be
lr 40400 .°Se te e 40 4400 1.040 amid
was named after me. I said *Isthatcy tear. She said *Sol but he could've been If u pleY*0
Fe Per a4 4 1 404 nt rietel,es u are u Solna 2 mime hie after me if he not aineer. She said
0404900 be flattered", I said " ruck being flatteredwifth at ie my eonstelt W s . She
'SW not Pears lhostobawn7wead °et it go. Thee Out of spits Just 2 make her mad I
started dealing with her cocoa Syfeepsh and she was heti She sent me pictures of deshawa
and he date* like me. I 44110 1404 1 ;41min lee** en I *odd get some mowers from
1110reed *same like *Crystal 14 . 444 , 0t Yoe, r i m like .4 what?". Teske said "We had e
cookout 4dOt tad NIfitsfeh had the Pin ote and the letter that u sent her and just 2 get
,up asi*r'trystel,skia she put ya t plotture right 04 the chair krystal was about 2 sit in
and was like let me read my letter ay baby just wrote me and pulled ye' letter out and
started Sadist it to front of it tY04 1 " p M Y fucking heart dropped! I did not know that
ayfeePah was obit; go that far. I would've never tried 2 hurt krystal like that/ Crystal
ha se boy{ / tolOwtasha I'll call her beck and immediately tailed krystalw
I aalledlrystal mad she Accepted* call and I was like *Crystal I'm sorry.' diet
how shorty was gone do no ehit like thee. Cr y stal was like *Naw it's cool.that's what
You Wanted* ' Ism kad - a diamond and u:Chasiag a cubic tirioola!". I smiled because she always
had * fir ass mouth
on her! I said "trystal,I don't want her. I want you but you
on epee other shit like you want a algae 2 chase you down". She said *Rhonehawn.why would
you have 2obrist:40w° someth ing that you already caught? That's you tripping! You spoiled
and when thing* don't go
venni get mad. If u really in love with me like u
ear You is then one little petty argument that we had wouldn't make u start tackles with
another chiek.eapecially my cousia.But it's cool.0 can have her Rhooshawn". I was hurt
4uust , shot
tot *0
said unnstarasi
t vi
at e lf. I said.
Un-/mu butt meet keen lettinu ,von
iii .);
site a funk
4 a in ' t
"4 141444144k14* aka
t my fittings had now 000.of all a. ebteks u l
f uid gelt" Wth
- 4 444444 2 11444. with 101
seta that I sett* se en
foul Rhosehansi It's toe/ though cause Instal
pet be itirightdiatehrs I d
oiren have no comeback 4 her and nasally got- sawn
create but this elm I"
lomat hit 4 '
lustlit', vitt.
out stostIcntu.
yencoMifut• ow
shorty" apt hung. ft these two poses And ten thus ;
riu-44Oul.t t4 "I joysu
0000 01
.1:MP 1404 Z
, 0 ..**F1 -040 ;4* Thatt141144•1 wrote
4rfisi41 so sher aala 04 Ian know 144* reed
/ bait ken if she got thee but 11 the stint that she re i t
Intilaa,00 world Saw
hen feel *bout tonal- Pointer! The posts are titled 44,41,414 end 4Untiited", here
they arei
▪ utarnalt"
"Oat of all of the .000-44AS4-X*,. 400440,04
4440 's4r40.00 astae0004000thar e everts
,None of these victoria ***To*404 2 4h44 1441
ahem /it
b on thefaY
r go#4 , 48rd ye4 name
*****t 4404
timOurt:141 . , beautiful eyes
Erases An time
Ww(0340: tropp ideilitsoi my soul 2 submit 2 Ye' elseatt:
0104711#0.0 that moment 4 knew
* lent treated 2 be mine
Never kaAlagorythes there efer.4.04H.
cb.Llavle.s jennies
, '
that stand out with easel same
sieve made
:VW/ avant' choice
Abet desigaid . tbs . blesprint 2 *rests ye beautiful fame
4044111444.10m04.that arrived
, *ts . toitteakly •. setraing 4 death
but *000thietkebout V Sevier* me stay alive
life vu **thing but pete#041 0410f
.1700 have *WOW 00040 he V
Om* alas* 2, 4reatiod a spark
prattal'U succeeded : ehera they failed
. -,,644
nOns of : 04n said outer* the 'Olean of DIY
N one aombilve prepared me 4 V
ea Sid as *hot ay destin y had Mere
healsI have litany !mend pesos
0000get a Merin a eat
thressh U / tee Ilmeliy fined the saivetion
that I've bowl searching Mane Wet
Te4 love has bona the only POreelle
that / 4 11 ever find on this earth
Ply inner warrior has Wally found 0 place 2 rest
Without having meaty 2 fear it
V remained loyal and stays* by Joy lot
end in the pantie tinted my unconquerable spirit
Went ilia will I ever 03%
or allow totter 2 hot
Our Spirits- have hei004-00
that on the di, vi die we will a
And L gratis. U that in Otte life and
14 v will "loser resift 'try!'
IIb*'my life La order 4 U 2 ..*44gradiste
t'd gladly give
EY last breath and die
'Fropt the first
It ne as it GOD f
it was beat time sy heart 2
appeared at a time in my,
when ?t was searching 4 shel t er from
The door 2 yr soul was
he rain
and in of my love bad been ireplaced by pain
My mine was pollited by demons
sett my ?blot was clouded by hate
RS from the first moment that I looked
that r couldn't scan ay fete
ye' eyes
tried ay best 2. deny the fact
introduction was much sore then a spark
wouldn't all* me 2 alit
Souits,,my pride and-
tat', het captured t essence of my Impart
insecurities encouraged as 2- push U away
of what 0 tight ons..tlay
kaowthgif (I were internetle. strong slough
2 ibittest the beauty luthitt 24024e er as
20'2 molests 4 never giving U a chance
2 Pert that u were different 'from the rest
r-t eet lonrt . thst 2. possess U was freedom
and 2 lose u was .death
Set in my heart flatterer-tent struggled
- 2 asset let a *MOW gat the beet of raNee *Mit that the more I ran from ya t love
was the more that I ran from my destiny
My siettiois, are almost legendary
as I fight 2 conquer this world on my ova
Sat through trial and error I am convinced
thatil Gan t t do, it all slogs
GOO has finally created my inspiration
cad he hes given ay toutatanis * hue
Miraculously all of my dreams have become ••ir
sod S did it all through V
I Ve
liver has huesakind ever.4ta$004:..
an sselace at .-Lnoredibitettofig . ant puts
MI elver has Wean e yee,,evar glanced
st sulk beauty as deep as yOurtor
kedversaries couldn't break
. • till'Ae
a I ignored _death's encouraging pleat
Ebert stuehlet_ a few tint .reirthe battlefield
bat . ad; re love was strentesough 2 bring . at 2 ay kn
my queen I et . done fighting . U
AS, I . pay that kjar ignOrance U can ,,cistrit
Stele it 11, take -ye • tort an y . happW1
boirdo- Manually expe ct melil**07
tt . Sicids 2- taro .y0" . kink . to •tve
t VA be better off-with a bullet in ay head
ey, parses* 4 living would be gene
so I'd be better off dead
. ,
And .while I'm eternally borate* in -shill
I I41 send GOD'a - eeneagivjust 2 even the store
. 1111 tell hie that he-miehOve taken away my life on this earth
but ht can't ever take away the feat that I was one Your4"****
lost Crystal and it was all my fault. She ended up .seript. dawn "meth and didn't
;Sat tato* 2 me again. X had et4e a *IOUS On 4.1*.kt.
:thn *se. eincrag
• • 0 2 this day moat hurtles, her and . . X. ;Otto ltvik Oak. St. was MOW thoug h t
. at I Alga it *Ut asd acti det nobody tell et nothing but Xmas.% is a-kall of Wok*
Witosts los beautiful th wary long . pretty hair-04d shOt ver y . intelligent and • asbitteaol
' ad',
• aty. men ilk their right nand would be honored 2 hiwe't woman like Instal bo thin
side. I love u ttistal and I'll +poet 4get„yhat we AS!' •
.4 some reason I had kaiaks on ay attd reel strong! I hadn ' t talked 2 her in years and
was quotas her veal: strong : so X wrote her and told her Z. And at IV Phew **Ow
4 so X- can oil her She wrote pe rum lock itout; sus, the number 2 Sie -jult, X called
It was noise goad:tees* talked 0 004h 444:0n010.4.40n in each4"0"--2
found out that.ithe .tes *beta*. get married but it didn't-totajnol re not ;g000. -14141 was
happy 2 'hoar that tease X still /00( hot* r1.04,2. ain't vent nobody 'an 2 An n hero
.We started talking some more and X t0:14:. her that X was strs.I4
and -X : heard the Jealousy
in her Was and she was like titarrital Datt i ehy you abalk:*44).0% 1 Amid her Nuns'
we wasn't real, talking like that and you weetiatie f :404$ ,44041tielf. a***1 400
W4lethIng that eltsd 441411140 + She 140 "Mei' 0.44 t h at) . 41; 4411!' ead-bd I'0°0141-MAY
4410000404 by the operate; 004 the 4411 had one minute left and keteha:wae - like 'Wits
410,40-2.teld her that I aea144 I weft her a ales heartfelt letter and she responded
- teal LW. She wane et back talking about "I will 0,nyi tofu LIbonibitn our t/ 4;4
eitayt be in ay heart bat la ying Oitad 1,04nt
140,k ,u. ;0 . 1.04 telita . candraPPlos flute
11 0014070 , 44. ewee h and 11- 20ee the ea y', tber esePliD ut .7000** rotten teeth. and still
OW the .osed y ands because u /toe how it taatea,knowin g that in the tot vs will be left
040 nothing but paint% r, raccr that uh;t end I wee Xtka . $0000/. *; My ciLtz7 at this time
was my dadhrothor 2tall- and . I showed: hie the letter , and be X.aetx shook his heads
.X gat the Uttar .-back from hie and *eked SO he was shaking his headand . * said
at Wert sad I love t at re ntEgotez,itt ; u like the Oat of these Ogg** that fear
end tens be don* II loot woineut':41001 u be thinking that am tap as is Want with thee
that it makes it right •2 -do whit You'd. but • be . ifuntuif':thisis chtoksournit V4 Ifirsui Pan
is that vi don't see it anal bet 2 late. 1 . aeld *Sow u flare that?". He said !keg
4411 . 10'/Ove with 4 different chink every week and is really be A0-14vewIth.:theflativikal
etek-Aone-ihjet:eiteUebbitie. she -ye attention and u
Theetthe evassu partt
La love with her and thee another one will catch le" a:00*nm and a off with her and
yet 11 4set about the first- two chick. u was tollaring *bead remember the years later
. ,
and venue Pin k up uhere lelijeft: A ftekAfter. e_h0S-aknai.,-;-Wes Inaat and didn't want
2 see hail's wisdom and .;'5010_110: n0044,it soP0.4e,Aike-e_teWinit they side!' He Just
laughed and said "l's not going I tail u what v weale , heir-M40. I wrote Wash. A letter
oUtnf , anger and her,that:.'0#1ild
na-Ye%:::1:t2eitIVilt:!itl:441ger, :::1:d
_ _1,
41404 40 ,614
440/4 he
with me nowohnhr*,
..:: sit tr -flX.:
cnrt wn
besoon ow she m
I kaow . that IT shouldn't have
r iter :',-
-. OW . *7 Prid t stott f
thdi , brekee. I said',
far but typical le always taking shit 2 far and
00 She. gter when _2: should've \stepped on
. - t' Ir e
wu tt
_ ,. .lhat
keish,u wrote'me thatnut ass: 044 -ebOut the , sPON and ye'
te ch :40 Vtig t ._.3a ' t wanna be with me so 1::':;'- t''''402,W,Aa044tha t'41:4414.1K:Jitat arty . Oben
so eryia gat hate'-'with 4.04, ,_cause that wasn'ti my . ,4.. „ '.
4.'40e-wie like.44mail
yt0i,fjavird her 'St*
4440h ellen:/it like thati2 , -. .. , *at44rbelan
evachisg , and I know the* Ili : aate teal 00040001:444, ,t7 A0000* 2 me and
X. 4040t seen 2 hurt her Tflne t:,,Seted - her 2 tai l ehet...shor:. madb me. ,2eek'Sn
e* I mad
**elite and tell het: ; -eent-2: fer she was like "I *net eetille'Ve luitsaid :thag i Vaa,,
'a 'call me herk Later": I hung up and went l my cell antiont;eintag-l'be -th ee* 0mi
I iled-hurt anotherblacks eesel _ 20e0404 2 my pride and ay ego. 24 telif:10vs and are
49,tit' Lasts JAI She my fucking babyigirl and she go hard ienke Osiet 'S'eM4 I wrote her
some nut ass shit in that letter thit'l know hurt her and now X Set te: mOinel t rights I
wrote her and I put a poem titled "When It Worts' in it and here it iss
teishasit's easy 4 us 2 hate each ether
our bond and Just walksay
let if-the-love we share is reall y real
"it's ovee,shouldn't be thateasr 2 say
Laimayaythera an going 2 be times -
wham I honestly just get on ye' nerves
400 of the thins that come out of my mouth
but let'snot 4get that their nothing but words
Wore* that are spoken out of anger
- eill_mcsent I'm mentally unstable
Ald boo jest cue' I eight say it
dosset t really mean that I hate u
flasks J you are so precious 2 ma
iota time* u make me upset
Cial u kmothow special n are me
bot-somshow u ' always 4get
4e matter how much 1 tell U
4 Always cloak my love
billeestof looking 1n2 my heart
a always judge as ous t Vor a thug
V seak desperately 2 change me
an realising that it's already done
Sag& you're so used 2 losing Boo
that a don't even realize when you've won
You've always had my heart
eves through the times I cried
Seat' a chose some other ntega
sadjest pushed ea 2 the side
But never once did my love fade
or lose any of it's intensity
I just chalked it up as immaturity
or just a wild case of insanity/
locus' deep down in my heart
knew that U were lonely
And even though U fucked his
subconciously U were really fucking me
Benue deep down inside
ie where my name always
SO Stu though U hate 2
baby V still gotta love
of pa' mina
do it reisha
Me 'hen it hurts"....
I decided 2 give Leishs some ro om and let her calm down, She's elmeiel 2 me and I didn't
Went 2 make it even worst so I Rave her her spice.
It's crazy how things work out in Iife..Sometimes GODit put somebody in ya' life that's
not really the person V were supposed 2 meet, The Person that C oe Put in ye' life is really
jest a Slide 4 the person that - Siete destined 2 meet 2 go through in order 2 got connected
2 you,and that's what happened with le and Quenda. I swear I've been around dot of women
but only a few were as into:testi-Saes:bar. If they say that allillackwomen are Cut from
the same cloth,then Sha q uande S. Carter as cut from a beach towel/ She's in a class and
league of her own end I don't say that about slot of chicks but shorty is official! She
is a professional hair stylist but her goal is to one der owns string of hotels named after
her last name. She also invented the idea for a new hair product that will help Black women's
hair problems.
I used 2 love just listening 2 her dream and goals in life that she is working 2ward
accomplishing..Auother thing that I admire about her is that she is 41 humanitarian and goes
out of her way to help people that need her hel p , Her sister wee born with a disease that
mimes hair loss and quanda goes out of her way to do girls hair, free of charse.that were
diagnosed with that disease so that they could feel hott er about themselves, She As eery
altruistic and she genuinely cares about People. Despite the fact that she's naturally
beautiful,inside as will as aut.:mid got the body of a Rodeos:4th' thing that I fell inlove
with first was her mind. I used 2 marvel at how driven she is. I nicknamed her "Little Oprah"
because she got that type of ministate; She's very independent and got a big heart. She
belds a spot in my heart that not too many women out occupy.
I love and care about this woman a whole lot.but more than that I res pect her and her
enrolment/ We used 2 talk on the P hon e Slot and write each other . She's reel spiritual and
I'm reckless so she used 2 always try 2 kee p me focused, S he is comp letely different than
any other woman that I've encountered. She consumed my heartonind.thoughts.appetiteovery thing! My Godbrother ltallosed 2 always joke and say "So you finally met ya' match,huht".
I remember that it was times when I would be stressed out and I would call her end she would
have ft laughing and fading better. I got a quick temper and she knows haw ;calm me down
when I get crazy. We used 2 argue and she always used 2 say "re putting my loot down" and
would always cause me 2 smile. In Otan4a I finally found something quiet in this world full
of noise and I will 4ever be grateful 2 her 4 giving se the oppurtunity 2 experience that.
I care about her slot and she is special 2 am which is why I fell bank off of her, I feel
as though my heart is entirely too wild and untamed 2 be with her on intimate level because
I wouldn't ever be able 2 be the eau that she needs 2 be due 2 my other personal commitments
and obligations 2 this struggle. I never want 2 hurt her and I never want 2 be the teases that she feels pain. In a perfect world things would be different but unfortunately we are
not living in a perfect world...
I wrote her two poems titled e/L.Carter" and "Tell se how V like it" and I hope that U
mijoy them. .1 lave U Shaquandal Here are the poems:
pflqsq 1504,1** pot Assiut sL Sums sa
ownsis vadtlotIV$ vct t viaddvm 41 Sop awAs
puju im-Ssistsdo tofu, Sint ; Ing
smq os *stag t pm swat stun
g piss ft mort n 41011
to put
404 14 ststq tott
Atte* la
9101000 ft stwoId g sl 'Won* ittt 411
g stoat e t / sap sons.t Ss/ t
41111 vmsAnouttiosin a list as pity
,tinifor t*titt*** oat * ADAM et TT** **
4Conot / nest AwitiA440 4 not itit
pition; sq
01. 000 0 00q0 040p stoma
4T** t td44 ***.***.itt*
minams %Ss* **TIDO I-Put
Ass JAQ toot Omit V*, Otin
Is soOdsp sus n sowed 400. 404 tests I
Ansi go WI at xonsolg 4 9,11 $us
torn 44 44244 *Ova . 4410 vs V
:sum tot suss 9 satott g atm
tattoPC In *MP a PM
41.4 t Ott 00 Pa", no It 4.10
utmost s gams Otos flag t it tAly
.1;issnot so mos n woo sots 1st
U. a; ontygOs g u an sett r
011 . 411.A
t4tt 4* titt
sorsiersp est/
-1****14 ; ooq Ott
Fps* HO t ot Mom
i io
ft t oult As sass
Mosetsse g s soft
****i I* Mt)** V 4 2444 I
10 *min n toga Asu
Stop , blushingilott:p knowJ'jn.
ubut in ye heart girl U know 'T'la
1;, :uts. out of all of the sets a ea:
other man =See feel the ag
So n can keep mandate fret. t h.
that's just gone oaken* prime,
Until I final'? courier* "ca
beau" I'm in lore with
is Ma
'Can aaicturm
or-buten yee'mittnit .2 _
re* heed 104000efeCef:ff0-.
while my lingera, jitert 2 era
Now about if I just took
antff**ft 4 Sot'
-Otte"' bb ern .get 2 the physicat Part.
Sh018144 I Manna monotteita000":eind
ab e
Out filet tusetta trust me:Ahabygirl.
land lat-go of ye' inhibitienz
So baby
tire es Ye " hand
sod don't be adreid , B0 r won't bite
&fest manta ktistrli meek and make n_ttet
bow u
1 Of-thialieteetion . 0
Until u tell like
ilea I tie u 2 the headboard
and pour homey 411 over it body?
Then gently lick Ye Peel e at 01.,f
/ill' u squeeze ye -thighs trine stop as
When was the lest time a nigga-:metitifttim
jolt by using the ti p of hitoptingnefh
Or when was the Iase'time it got flicked
so good that it cried when he was dine?
Tell tie that / excite it Oh/Sneed!' .
and love le when I get bold
sines a had a man that can , take control
t'wanna tare on ya stomach.:
40 lick ye! ankles and calves
Then kiss Op the-beck of ye legs
bit I stick my tongue in ye ass
don't wan u 2 be shy in front of mu
See lea %Mathieu* should fea r.
Ilesees finger tuck 4-1* testaratint
Athol whisper 40um 4 mom in ye ear
X yenta welt tilt' u get_
than eat ye' pussy at a Ist
gt rtfrtes
So b4 u Wag up with
1 can sake u eat all Over xi fic
Can I put both Of ya' leas on my chest
after X take off , all of ye' alothait.
ge while It s thrusting Asap told° , of ye' pussy
I can suck on all tan of ye .1
honutif/a_ toils
I reams pin u up against the shower Wall
SIMehtsg this water run down rui heir
Than tall a i love u Shagaanda
and Boo I'll alwaYMbe there
X sea mike all, of la fantasies coma ctrue
u thi nk they are
no matter hoe crazy', or
And -I want u 2 trust in thii-fact
that Xis in Ina with whoeior is are
d$SPS*td*X know is feeling thn,youne
but Ye flour La nuking a fight it
Writ La why I'm funding n 411 of sy love
hoping that u tall me how u like ten,*
. Wit wermee-,.t he -hlOtk with our big brother
Donor get moved to 10-Block in 2008.
Clentecaliviey cd.4heed Nathan *Yoh, IerArd : ,Sy *red Paul F ordfrom Pittsburgh
Curtis wOottb“ Gibbs from . ,erie i gregueinitey, ,neerat Skeen' ,S POrtil Caine, 4t
was just depressed ;awl, 1. had deaths in y fenil y and
*tat time in •y
inateit , shet *nu I :diOn't ween ., 2bmwrOUpd nehodr‘rumut en4 visit
charms ,sad told her not -2 emu gee ote no tpOS and 4)10_2 live her life, She 'broke
40Ma alien end it we the hardest thing Olt ./ ever beitiTi. ide ,. ,,,Xt killed me 2 . assAer
enyial like that but I didn't want bet2 yea., 4 no enree-X:felt like she des
be happy. She said "I'm happy when 27: with stalky Would , hurt se : like this 4 no 'reek/fon .
11, I was * Vat 2 art and bad 2 *rat my LU, off of the desk and walk our, of the
nom b4 I did I jest wanted 2 he left stele St*. ;Whet foal like .nalking*
tlImM around like that for months not-knoeing_thet
- natingT nifinda and I stopped, /run natal the OeSes .rs**"...(4441,41. and LUX that
Ulat outeuitM me . •r a tortod snapping on .**Srbsdi.,..s4 b4.;*1044#1*liS march. of ZOQQ I started
n'rlat Shish caused ten Psi DUP t omf-*IsintilpfituOIMOM I RMits It was thX1.00 0/0
that used 2 keep ,fecidng with me and this tine- hmtnusat • Me at the wrong,: tim and I triad
2 beet bit 2 deerIn the cafeterial . The . rodonsam team got munp-in 2- try: 2 , all at sul
bloodiest riots in that's
and st SW* and brothers got in eit and_ . adiOd$ "
a and refuse,
Slot Of -014010 gat Io n 4 ,1*, ,A then ,
at : ma. I levee** that.IDIttita
P ewaradn Curtis- GibIskraul.,
MOS* the news and lade binary for
out a bruise!
t this day they use the tape of that i
of dna situations so ovary prises that I
eta rise and frustration out on 4114;7,44
of 411 of the blond that I *rev shed ,nothing
eine:wore blood! • Minn I And . I'M not say ii
on that particular guards that weri:ne prefinss ,
or oppressors blood for thi.firattiee rfalt-likAA liOnat* 4 the first ticiast WAHIRD'141(42111 The ar t day I lie'
is knows as a GLADIATOR CAW Plow wewenitifind out what I
now use if I was a one hit wonder or if •tdita in who ,I wits,
ta few. other things
at I go itt24001LSIC
witting Prison is tr-liot
of all types of
irsisetik 1044have
mental dittirdiresataptes
Sete On • Wit *0 you *0040040f 2 coexist with these individuals. You are--,sarroaatfel by predators who Vary on you *easy
not tealena s A--1,044410W may prey on tether Prisoner khis ceirtilear ys4 apse his money,
tankful ohs he may went. from that praetor:tee even vanish : you may not want 2 get 102
a fight with a prisoner or yokel*, be conscious of who you. are and you have love 4
2 survive. roe might
/94t :kt0.040,74000i 11 ,4104 2 present the rialepoo in hers in
have seas alotn iatOiratteet44040/400100u are left sleet but 4 thojeost'pertHelot of priors
emote viii Pam you if that„-iiit4atyltigas of.aeakoneos,in 194 Or thinkaketAha y see any
Mae of woakaaaCieJoe• W. ,07:ofuel • but /ti e s harsh reality that every prisoner feces
in bare.H . „
On each individual bleckAkt- prtson,ezcept
for the b izpr,..frisonsia t any given time
44sm over 2012 prisoners 304.0 is controlft44y-trie or aelattimea one it**041
ton got over 200.tiiierairePAO4
other typj o.f44404isoli - otans block
no Pot The sgt,':44*440t : 40 00445011fmg those
k"IPW4100tr41. 16440. two peopl. tbat
W91140t-With-is aitiocsaf, -paper jp kforp Of 4 misconduct report
00444 thaM
*tat 4 the ke lt * thaakaik:.the same catsehat Would shooCypjaeho !pet looking at ft
cat sthat *fors beating Okatattekeetkillint kit* h0400401410
4 tee lofts These are the
are a/1 Ping
sitar* Caring shoat nothing
MAW up. their
4440490k0444, 2 get*
ically tortured 4444 4444r000, 40000a so.thoraoahlfithht:f f they see you being emit
and "ladle* "s 24:A.66"0 -tO*4041thaeXi SO against you 4 the guard! S* in li44.40000Castal
real an in -turtaakiarfiaties three wars at one time siapIcsasopoly. Bet nghtlas two
Hatch. thieourtisthe war with the administration et the prison he's *trona holtiftektipp
hi war with these coward aturinOtss that don't weans snood up 4 nothing and be accounted
firs4Akthrie of these foes that mek0a4aint 2 wet with are vouching 4 each others The
alirtkarahepinCthst the cOntra makiaestos get 2 u ante get sent 2 the hole so you
010014#0,4 4444-44A get out of Jens The coward *Oe Semooha are **Ping that thk400rts
*144kIruattatstkt 004 le, two so you can snap out end get seek; the hilt so they
a' 't gotta worry about yewpottinieo.moro pressure on thee sad mehathomtote#4 *Pr And
titka4414i4tratiell is hePia$ that you kil t 004.0f these 44!004 ass nistakak yai-eit get
,S4110 .4124-14,14444k m Gess up and the courts can 0 00 194 4 life imettinta*S can
' way off Of you the lon ger you stay in jail. So a thinking mar wakes up everyday
that he has 2 fight these throe individual were at the same time and he
he losseoPefthstlivars the other two advirseriee - Wilikilitalist off of that
TharcraxY thing about all of this is thew, 444* Sundt that are going out of their way
Lapp**. you and dehumanize you on a papist b*Piasatrae4Y know that if any prisoner
takOt thakhtlatette that they lose any rank that there at. had according I lthiir code of
lapse Which eons that thsOt t 04040 an expendable and yet they risk their liaaacererf,
chirraisrsapowata dived* prisoners that they know will take their lives * The majority
4f. thk- times that you hear about a guard getting assaulted or.stathed t ho deserved itSi
Not all of
because their are some isolated incidents whore 0 partearbsve_gettea
stetheltet due 2 a can hivinteenteUroblems or family and court Issas. Out the majority
of assaults that happen in here are guards who 10 out Of their way to teak with the see
Pitied - these walls and theropitioethoir momentum 2 ere, try , a roe/ man with the bullshit
Pe 2 - thews:toward as* inmates doing so much ',sti nk dawn. that they think twarYWAY vino
X 4444 2 tell you about g eontersation that I eter.hearkk*** foals prison 84a04,0***
with A sergeant that warted the block I was oft, The new AMU c/o...00k2- wink on our
block and the sergeant woe tellin g her hew 2 run the bleak and letting her know that all
she gotta do is eve the inmates en order and 00 4. 11 4440iltit they dealt Stet A421 them
that you will wits them up. She asked "Row many prisoners are their on this block?".
The sergeant said *Sight now we here-slop house' s* we got Maybe 202 or 204 right pew%
The female c/o then asked "And there's only one eie and You 2 hob suParvitaftheeallatst"s
The sergeant said *Tap!" That's the hint* Of this job!".
I never 4got that Conversation that I over heard and it mods me see more clearly how
they preterit us as prisoners.. It made me mad at myself 4 even being in this situation
X allow fbeselenhia rtaittilai ii44/44-X-W-0411-44.4illa4 as* That dal I heard that
Iditttaade a PratteitA00,1f*ifailAbOt_daf...SCLUPpltlatcOaatakeettahat the men And
1.0 rage :Would be directed at the right people tow now on, ft ,.$40 ins Sea about slot .
of shit that I:San doing What and *tot, or things thatVaadet '2 faints * X had ; Wor
Own le old 147of thinking 1414,00,.: IOW with the 00447: that everything I than*
-bahm‘,.about the vorldomy life and the nipple on this planet was altarong! f . had 2 *Junto
myhatf att. over . again!
jail 1ti0,0, betas
SCI*Ohatiaidei on Mardi
2 the Pitt
all over ths."0*Sithat,44001MOStylimaa ' gbh . t,.haShafmhat I was thole faro t 'aphid.
at this prison whenwe pulle4 up : it and it :loot* /SS one of those 0000.t *tog*
from back in the -1700's with diWohh in the hamanttaal agail at inside of the Priata
I goO44 out that iglittineantlt what. it ant This was the dirttept place, that I've over
been 110*. Tha t had rft o the_404,44-tini4i/.*0 400.04$0044044140Vr4 IPS crawling all over the calls. You 044;,•:** , the all a. thonalSting and it naIt still be
- 004 40,4
See I in in ths..T.0440$404 04 I *0,4oy 00?$400,*ort0040
ot Toowith *an An .gasty; eyes I knew that I wouldn't. ke . 4044tiotot this hot, no es*
gosh I was in the strip cage and a lieutenant by the name .-:#444,1t was alla4C0Cut the
haan why you gat Sift
Sarill:Satreh. 4/Car the ahOrak afra..4ant
:ggagieggneg here Ottlieutrjuu haw that witafe.4 Vant4440.1 14arat WO slog PO'
Ittniyou.ame thrash hereffIl,ef:the4ima4.1 . adria,Salttj
aa 2 _400.1 410 this jail ct0441.
, crap that YOO WaltalatAt.- hoCt iOglet 0410 *0 put,oy,Iuoo*olt and
bungry•litharsiSay,Agat at," • 444414 said .4.1oa missed that and you' ll
breakfast *arrow morning". It was /Mpg :and breakfast wasn't until 611 the bast
off of the ten molt
• TiohniChay by policy,! was supposed 2 be fad Otte I
iat this wal, I t41.41 lit40/14, "IMO migatoot.well go head and unit up soI can prop.
tundlsge myself cluha Da not camping on of this strip, gaga until you 0000 .so
.,i::4Olothino 2 eatr•.1•04211, ailed at me and asiti,::1 like you jeckaa•
him and the other glade laft. 2 ,00 suit ng ma they could try2 SI on
; Utak we. While that Satk„Sonhoo hurl, by the name of say who was Oath*
beard the whole thing walked up 2 the strip age and said "Jakion•X dea l t bow
as delet at the other Jag you were at but aeon gag wilt kill you balqc., Tarte •
ye' baud, 10_0 IQ Alf if it's any naa. taya left on the cat in the
ft 2 calm dia. :0004 She left and came hick with a trot* and it had the aka
ritli the'...tweet frost on it that I lino I set dela and ate . the tray sod Ahhall.440tti
teNtailt:1 was sitting on the floor ailingat him and finishing off the bat Senn
OS* cake.
.4" last feat tuned rod and I said "I waited 4 You as lag as I could but I got a
1004 Warta Aar stria a kw minutes and we can Pa Us, whae. as left off", 14•10111
Ono yelled "Who gave this pgisenota tray without my authorization?", 2 said °A. do ****
by and I told hi. that I tillitt oat and that yoll went 2:*fied- ma a till, and hoimaitii
he haw inn the trays was at had !apt and got me. one",:. 44aollt then $04 iy" guarantee
you that this watt happen -Win . eit•lakelOt• I hope you enjoy your haat-004S COP
thht Jaffa 'me and put me in my call 0 . 0.pOdt Oise Pat stapled at ply ail, 2 ask *mos
1 alright ad I told her thank yeas She mouthed the word* "Be . Careful" 2 me and Lei,.
Pot the W i t4o Wats after that I got burned 4 my trait and couldn't ontstbly taw
soil away and wouldn't tales set it. X couldn't believe this ehtt• I didn't gat any
NW from the outside world tor Ako,oy Urn throe *ht. thoro..I was sof..4.groOy
thiS#01114 I wanted 2 kill the fiat Site wo x tot hands ono They wrote Me up and
list on a everyday and b4, t as* tt I had five years worth of hole tint I got dean
my showaratirsaiss yardiPaPtenoritsverything*
Wow b4 I spat Sp past sons of the paramount moments X want 2 slow it down some 4 us
want ef 2 picture a slats .plantation that is as* in tamales or that a sew in the history
. hooka in your anal. Now ,picture the utoospiwre and thg:abassivoneas of the slaves
that are on that plantation. When you look in the eyo t at:tho slaves all you saw were
hooka spirits, and defeated :sale Lakin lib ahtly. waiting be slaughtered. All cite
etteaStateaorti,**4 valor. fat wao.age.le tag a been depletedand apiatat with the
loa:hapelassamos•desaiftaad the aid 2 Just Aury ish -ationAhhemtbein•
or efles Of tint tWit that we had in them is gest and replaced with a hack paean
Picture . this d.eiPWStirtifintiehltiril....thet.. was atif.04- by a loa th of b roke daea.eub•-
4t0it?e Init 0102,0'SSTktilliefeierttirZt.I9Mkeditietal Atke,..e.OPI a* from tOduwalkitii
"4*..011.1l.2.41,4/SZI tilaaa . tha t,UMM Ati a Wing due 2. the lett that all
*4 lee4446 ittrectutill,fightingl
All of 04'4014 isreiSit-Wilkietaround aimlessly:
404 waitin g 2 be elaughtertdataleu picture this atiettel . Well if u . tensthis is what SCIhunttngden looked-like when I fkracsot there to their hoist Their were only four Men •
Satin 2, show that they War eiettlital i rt- shen X sot there end they were Anthony "Salideto
Martisteritt larisagmes ,SUSAtt0604:Srtitktr 4,0 01 Johnson. When I got 2 havilintingden
au march 204 2009..104,w0hasp the Volt spent** 2 e at ar hritakf40411 guard came 2. my duet
with my breetkfesktray and said "We don't feedoiggers that raise their Model t*itemen
it this prises stt jaiktuti.044,11.8.440 10Y.hea ltdae444,1PlrAlik aa aiMietwitfit be situ*
Ahie .r . I. looked this deril' ittChMeit and I tett the hatrW that he had 4 atie4d 4 knew
that if had the chanomhe ettulOyeteoltee outside aiO*Sit sa . hoi kOrki, Z had 2
Sitcally mama the fact thatArhOOtia a 44 2fa riat 4YPVII7e1t, NOS thel : T,Oalaebitut 2 fights
Tht0iitht 0094 144* fonthE01- /CUO4fie. 14 that was fe r404.Seibr enle** 04 -ihat leaked'
different from the people 2..0Pd been Menke. al; of el /000000, MY is sidoilead. this ;44
would be fought hY4C0opletaly
different l'i t' of,rules tft**44.1.SOS used 2. This fight
that r yas ShOnt-2 fi g htsaitultUtt km2 toe if.i was tOiss1-Wita00.44.thio fight
hallow if I would live or 6*.....00mentali y I had . 2 forget Soto ell . ofty.1.0#..sementfemily
Sliberliend friends that I weart aiiat in the outside world heistse thatArotItonlyMeakett
might not Make it ont:Of-tnaMt alive. I had 2 Ghana* ar what heliatkulotesi*..
Ciese IL dtdn't have She time or the 1.'30 2 Waste by bein g on my knees and Praying-.
scam divine intervention 2=comirtholgOvesd help at. X knee that any holp t enr essistintet
ititt in this fight would coat from as making it happen not some guy or deity in
, that slot of Pitile tuidt ail this are going 2 disagree but I don't really give
you ve been CMOs tip. Of battlefields that I've been onwith ye'
Oland aade them respect youlthut You can't tell amehitt Cease any true soldier
al that hesitant up usisit thee. racis t oppressors th e to r myself and my comrade"
, 4-Itylte
_ You 'l l 'sOu without a shadow of a doubt that GOD minds his business when u arkof battlefield. Their to no 14itY ahave l no Prnerror photograph that will
I youeat of,this . alivetaliof that is OP 2 Me Only KEN survive this wart!! The
Attie casualties of war! If you don't believe sa teat you 2 ask yourself this
tetti On the sp iderwebtwhee side is GOD on? The spider or the fly?: Then ask yourself
t, his list quotient In the jungliiskels side is GOD on' The lion or the gazelle? If you
444 Sni.reli g tostrUtst you will see that GOD is always on the mide of those that stand
up and fight! Those that resist Omit oppression and do WA fear death! So when I got
on this battlefield X prepared myself 2 d*ell,
Everyday that I get denied*: food I cursed the guards outand brother Jeseel,Roundtree.
Eric Itolopend Se/ideen were rtght . pore with me. Out of 36 people on this unit tonly five
P**14- were standing up. Countless individuals were bein g sterved ttosaultedonid dehunienisod
in this hole and all the other 'mattes would just turn &blind e y e like they didn't see
or beer tanking. Theis etas cos was kt11 44 and gangsters on the street. and would kill
ma or you ima heartbeat but now that they can't get ithetr IlAit theY'r et Swords and allowing solo Pusan" sak ahito ta.Y1 that ain't been throu gh half the Obit they're been through
diarespoet them without even talking back to'eal This is why I don't respect aloe of them
esitil ass atillastheesuse these coward ass nistas will beet on a woman and terrorise her
2 the point that she killmitersettthey'll tops all of her money for her kida,nee to Sr
twat and her cer,eat up all of her grecertullend not contribute nothing 2 bettering
her or her situations Thee,they s il twee through here and he awards! They be in a reek.
meal way because all they tune do is stead around end do nothing! If only some of the
soon these cowards was rapingothueingsand misusing could see how eat these Se pias really
So now that it's only five of us that's standin g meg can't really make a impact because
the majority to toying down. After a week of ma cursing these pussy gas guards and inmates
out without eating nothing but water and fruitt,I got weak because my body didn't have .
AS misr$Y. This was when I realised that I was fighting adiffirent foe. These whites.*
totes* malicious and hated me so such that at night they would kick on my door real hard
I keep we awake so I couldn't sleep or get any rest 2 repair my body. Then they would
g . „Itc.KfccA)
starve Me and heAP wr heig AMeehi,40itvelte,,tha,Maa$402,ACR4.100h010S i ael breakdown. They
*Pa bring **OW that Alatit#O;PheaVIA4O.P.P.4,044.$17.10.10 of Oi friend* and fweilY
and bring it X a$ Ca l 4 0Pr 404 Xet em. 000 the envelope with the ir 110** On *toed rip
it up and throw it : AP the troth right in tr eat of ur fatec Thet weeld do the same with
say Stares I woad rede ye end any outeetil metl ,the t,lieeild ' iry 2 seed Out 2 my featly
and /rived ones. These devil* hrePahc /rase and ,a stereittoi Out of me that I didn't
Sillximow / hulls me. I leernad:Olet about hoi,esetaillOad physically strops I sm. MY
night went from 210 POPO, 00 40 44e0.4 0 within threeaPn the of Ws testate? these Lucktag coward ass devils would CP001:40T4Por day in and day out and watch me deteriorate in that tau 11404 aile or lee$0 at me while I was to their in Pain*
X was at taftOtiedits ti On and PitYchotraphic drug, thit. ate at my stomach due 2 me
net eating and whin -I eae l4: Mkt the nurse they Wira pi tiStjeuib..ates sndlcemp,goimg
by alp Cell. One time I wine - ekSak in the cell from not eating that I fee. --lilt 4,14 00
Sti ll Aidn't set op any medical help. woke up . sal iar! . : cell on the Lint. This me
whosil. klow that they were trying 2.
l 4 but
',And get Orel Otth , it and
2 Son up my at ta t004.0 n4 steM out thinking them, I act Vraltte; flitieel
Omits li f ftstl Yik. me. Okeei they weren't uallaing with OttOmiciet and be taught Oka` ha
00 file grievances. 04104:2 th in k About of feol lY * let XOWXO- teed X tOtokinUatitiO04441
do..29ev Shea real spiritual and g.uped g wonder whet she would - *a t ltehe. 4400: !hot X was
Sates through and what them* Pe9PlO. were rrrloB 2 4° 2 0°V I ‘°°24 1,4*-144 tillirn
sad Could Wooly recognize myself:0es! my face being all sunken in ?heel':
varkand.I felt every bit of it. f. di dn't have 11040 who I could turn 2 for blip *Os
ron4lOitt fat my mail IMO X couldn't : al* none out* r was helpless sod vulnerable', : and
X 0400r felt like, that 'Ter in if l ift, EverYfaij."00111).1*10,044. that it V5 S,*'.,.4
tuna I wee so weep( in that Ce ll. Their were times wbena tireily0ted in:WA.tell
/ was Op mad at my oppressors getting out on me end I opiimer oodorounitvl*::,- -..,
as ISO* wasn't standing up or wine nothing about this shit that thiej .-40
! ,.people
ex0040. X.hea
, Stahhor 40atel "rata X this arliteXtatlen for me called Hau,4 n. newt' Coalition" but
I *OrOr Set nothing back from the* go I waited. One O ili br I had 0 4-a°1 abl°P....—
' acme 2 me in my dream auttehe said °Rhonshawn are
but he t Ottat trot. ma lit him in add step fighting him". / asked "Step fighting who? Let op to w, Sheen/00
St eed 04 "WO and she kissed me on the cheek and rubbed my' fee, and emflef and that
he disappeared. I had been in the** for nine months at this time and this was the
imingt eight that / had got lomdilmil'ilesp• I woke up thinking about shriaimaide real herd
and ; eased her so fucking mach. .f **shed my face end at 4130am thdt mortal* I wrote,
her s pada titled . °D*Sttne and here it tot .
. s
"I already know the end of m y road is coming
though in my, heart I wish / could stay
41000 is the only way 2 walk my path
mo -1 pushed all those I love away
I wasn't try** be selfish or rude
r Just get 2 use what lied aiwund
Evinteally I finally accepted
that my Mimi won't cease till' I'm dead
SW t truly be remembered
4 thelood that was in my essence?
or will I truly B crucified
4 Om evil Inge that once personified my presence?
Mean did I ask 4 such
except 4 people net 2 judge
imed 4 OOD 2 mead as that *Penal atone
• tint mold tutcoaditionall y show me love
I wee born fearless
as t will pursue my death till' t'm free
Beaus' all I ever wanted in this world
no 2 finally meet my destiny".
I etefed up all that 40044,00.01014A, deçpherwhnt thar, dream .meant. Whet was it
all about? Whitt was eb444444M Itling . 2, tell 001 W4*444-trYief 2 tell me . 2 talk 2 ROD
and pray? I hope not beau* cm was watching everything these people was doing 2 me and
other bleakeen asd he didn't left -I lifter 2 stop it strtle .teigg 2- believe in me right
now Owes I'm the one thee-a getting this done. he 1 tail 2 the hole I bettered in GOD
enti followed the helamic religion bat t hetie l t seen or heard from Allah 'since these
people hers been trying 2 hi lketOtie to this cell dying tight now and if Trim going 2
megilit put of here altve.I. Welt Wit 4 GOD 2 wee help me, 03.0.give me all of the tools
that I wed in otder . 2. -Itevire and I see now that the met is no 2,01e. r gotta fight 4
my 114.-or die in this malt I remember I-wain setthing } theLeterie "In the pursuit of Happiness" With will smith in it and in one *We JR the morillAidit emithsti We told his a
tiftgiatglr lake *bout a ea* theiLwaf-,4*04444 in the OneeWi**4 I neett4get that Joke.
In theiikestheir is a man dreweiefr4;. the ocean WA * man on a ,00, 41411001A
1 2 hell'
him but the drowning man tells ttie',aen on the boat wl4m Ohell GOD is 10144-he lp mete-,
-.-mhoi on the speedboat rides ott. Then a 0404 14/4442P44 17444 42 and tried 2 affer: .
the -drowning metOile and he said "I'm okay! GOD in goie0i444*.mer and the "wit rode
offs Then a ermine ship came by and threw him a lifeittehetkr -bef: rejected it and said ere
olutYl. ROD i4 going 2 *eve met" and he drowned 404 died. When the drowning man got in front
eta he said "Damn GOD! I weited„Acyou. Why didn't 'tutees and save meetNtiROD looted
at themes and said "Thu damn feoll s4isent You three boater". I never 4g0.11:10 joke and
it helpfu 2 realise that pp camera* do so muthat Setts get 4O off of 'is Ota end do
Thiejliheen Rights ..Coalition(HRO) had wrote me back end let me kaow that they had reciered.
etteteers nO asked me about what happened. I wrote beeht2 ,a woman named Amends-Johnsen
est told her everything that was going on with me and thet' l was being retaliated egallutt
due 2 an Assault on guards at another prison. Amanda wrote me back and sent= an anther-4w
eitlxet:form 2 fill out so that she would be Ws 2 broadcast my story all over the internee
ted! redie < stetions. I signed it and sent it in 2 her and from there on out / let her hneendnerythien,that w asitaing on with es and she reported it. Re and amends became toed friends
started corteePendints
and'oree. .4447 witferestill close. A couple weeks after me and
eitoered of . minemeamed viWent
Rellmee cam* 2
hotti0d and tarried by
four guards for assaulting an officer in population-, When they brought meXik 2 the hole
sed-idei.Oward ass inmates we lew' el :wea heieg. treated they immediately said ehttnanalik
these White people do all of that shit. 2 met
mraeft - I'll not besting up no guard and
He OreerVI . I Just shook striated and thought 2*.f aeitlibiOhet do these pussies think
C sac stars went thrash 0.of. 2 have the rights that we enjoy 24401"4
made me mod
because' this is why they get 2 do all Wee of net 440 degrading shit 2 us without worrying
shout fly types of consequences bedew* these pussies Watt remember that they got a set
- of balls and standthe fuck up!
At the time eessk came through and my other cowed little turtle from pa
philiy was neighbors and turtle celled me. by my nickname "Shim" and said "Shisedon't theee
duds, know that the y_coulitbs next? These folks don't got no picks!", me and turtle was
se,h4lock at thie tine. It was early 2010 and it was cold as hell in theme cells! Ws
WO turtles cell was _so cold that fur beck window bed ice on it! They said that the hest
didn't Work OA the bottom tier and since me and turtle wasn't Mesta); they ass and *ting.
no ceiling or laying down,ther kept us 40 the bottom tier. Turtle showed me how 2 ware
00, 041 ne by letting the hot water run and allow the otos* from th e water 2 heat the
cell el) and then workout real good then get under the agree* and go 2 steno. The tumult
used 2 be mad when they caw pass our cells and see us in our b wshirts and boxers warm'
They immediately -started retaliating against manic and due -2 him being on DwPod where
the majority of the cats over there were domesticated and .broten,I knew that he wouldn't
hew any sseteteste so I told turtle t hat I wee /Piet 44 over there end why and he ere°
tate he understood what we were up against.
I went back over there two days later and
When I got over there maiik had already met brother jameel.and sa/ideen..14 three little
?Goethe; who are like family were over there to. My. *outline were Kyle efelbucks
thinvIeratah *Money" Waseaated Theodore ePikee 'gyarde We all took over the batmen tier
sad formed what was called "The Menu. The Men. regulated-th-Mbottom tier and stood up against all oppression. We became the Bieck Panther Party of the hole. A couple mouths went
by end we were fighting against All ,ty pes of dehumaniestion.asseulteasnd other forme of
sins and then one day everything cheesed. On 6-26 .2010ve c/o by the .name of Pyle denied
• J 11-40fot)
ic "Rh° Maiii40illel_t:,0400 1:---jei:theifireekfast trays and
and loft of
they alkall
4 their trays he said "4014,110_ breath 0,12',../10.Ast
of the block. At Elli- timsoptelesna ' who is Illia-tittillf6444Monieleed-Illyberralible
Harebell whos e from pitteburildnetset a heart the size of an olleal‘ When 4/0 pile left
44 of- the blockt malik and eke 44140doen 2 my cell and was like "Shisa flit blood!
said "SO whet yell try.* dots, Malik and Mho answered
Mole patsies is loins 2 far
eft* sue time and said tryee-to 2 vie% I said 'thee that's what we doing!" sad
tbee-/ lot on tte-seileete eviteld'ite *le block *If you not gang all the way and
you reedy2 die it* don't get in our affairs!". talibal4014.4 over 2 . se and said "DteI'm
ri d ingbut don't have me So in and thole nit*, don't Sall:thil way man! You know t got
litalbot I don't mind going-144th. police 4 my eiSSM01". toittallhan that we
il riding and he said *Say na7, T;ad c oveted his cell *linden with his tfeel, At this
timeline* was in the hele,4-ridkue4 smother Ogg* which resulted in btat 'Skin a
guard up in the OrWelfa. *Waite otaes taw that the SeMehrees . about 2 roll on hte,the
surrounded in the yard and the edeinktratioe*mdeired because of the influesetthit taltbsaid at that Oil and decided 'a they were going Itransfer him, But
he didn't Set ORt. ot:th0 hale for whet he 04 they retires*•* him and save
years hots time lo heiikell in * MY taunting eoneYtkelb utl iand: She were already
#0140 them hell and couldn't be controlled and they are iota ,. 2 me so I leew-theY was
with our tacit, and when they came around
1041$ ail the way, We all /overfed our
II:4011a* the trill end tried 2 talk 2 us we didn't ansmar ,eld .they left. We really wanted
physical with them and fuck them u p real good **tate besides isolated insideiteorwaly attacked them at once and got multiple guards and r noticed that they were
04 tiling on the offense and not defense so we needed 2 switch the sport up 4'em
lalhich Maid "Shief we act like me gone commit suicide then they don't got no choice
fill- emes in* I said *Yeah bet-tley might try 2 *prey us b4 they Come in". talbuck said
4114Otte do is do a test run* * I said "Who we gone get 2 do itt n . While we wore talkat% add:tines 2 figure out who would do itsialbuck's neighbor,* broths by the name of
said 'I'll do W s . Mhotout to brother the* e l se ! 4/4.4 laid on the ground and acted
leicimeghad passed out and than we all kicked and banged on our doors and yelled "Mai
MawerMa n 20e0 m . wh ich was the coil that prisoners used 2 get the guards on the Seek
4440Ortetai. The guard* run on the block and lust like ken** said they woulehey
Side* cell and opened it without thinking twice and went in and picked him weed
telh'ile-offef gthe block. As aeon as they took him off of the block kalbuck coiled over
2 4/0- And sai0ShiseY,we on deck big bre!". I said *WO fucking doubt!* * Malik got on
the gate sad said*Shinaall setts let me and oho go first he the y catch on and stop doing
it I was like "Alright! But 24a, is cell cleaning so let's wait anti/ they pees out
thelloorbrustes and we'll keep them and give them everything slat back!* * &aids* then
sot on the gate and said *Mow you thinking SOY! Let yeucenemy arm you without thee
else knowing it". They pmemetout the cell cleaning stuff and we gave them everything
except the flOorbrushes back * When the y realised that In weren't giving the floor brushes
and left off of the block we pat part two of our olen.2sethe r and started yelling;
4010 .20wel Man SOW * And the guards came running on the block and vent to salik's cell
sad -called his name once they looked inside of his tell end saw that he had * sheet tied
efeesd his head and was unresponsiva011ik didn't answer to the y opened his cell door
aid the lieutenan t was the closes* Officer 2 his OS malik punched him In the face so hard
that he 'tumbled beck out of the cell and fell on his ass! Malik then came out of his
ell2 and punched another guard inthe face and ha took oft tanning but a guard that monk
dthet eft thet=hiaith in alestricatIeser that put him down and thee all of the other
settde japed estop of him and held his down until they handcuffed him and took him off
off of the block.
-*Otos waited until they left off of the black and we yelled *Man Down!" again and
they rim on the block and went *Ova 2 Rho cell * They called his nee* and he didn' t longed
se they opened his door and he took the f loorbrush and beet the brakes off of them guards
aid they started running out of his cell but had 2 go back in because one of the guards.
sot *tusk in there and oho was **tins his face in with that flat:fibres'', They shot ello
with the electric meow and cuffed him and brou ght hit out. Watt was tanks and Ale*
they wouldn't go in his sell bemuse they had caught on that we were the aggressors in
this sitat tiOn. The rehhitheffita4: L80A-00:1441.14,07 Witt 1 taliban 40/1 and gee*
him three d irect ardor* 2 tehe-LihtkOWO1,40Wo .004.:002.4PAPOLAilavhe atdret take the
towel demi they sprayed ext. after in h is al l . 341 go-104040rbioik dove 2 you whet
oot. - sOref is.: O.C. S ea r is Initat then pepper sprayanC-etien ittebretin Your Peres, it
burns ye' skim like someone is lighting ftei-2 You r ** 2S blinds you end bur** your
sten Sul bed sed it takes away, all of At oxygen that'll
in any area that it is sOrarof.
in. So just imagine somegmelielikOafa l sleuth 2 the point that you can't breathe while
they are burning ye' skiavithAttfdre. Being as though Wilma has asthma and they knew
he he* itother were a rta sUPPO*44 '2 have sprayed him because they could have killed him
dial his **soli'', Oondition tbut instead they sprayed *97 ' , 1:0 t4 sprayis . his-coll that
it was leaking from under his Snort Taliho still held 'PAraund, And waited until they
'Abio 6P1040 that tried 2 to*
010444 his cell lino and he started punching on the fir 17h
callohile at the se0.1004001hiSillis way out Of the SAI21447-"0424oPt' 40 what
AST Sated 4 de 2 him becau*S4h**Saldett let them in the cell. They aitedk44rrestie
diem off of him. One 'nerd immethhebletlfe with the
hie 2 the ground but he
User mud Ant him in the let and :t heft the other. O ue r4 4,410Peci ao hie and Mat his down
dant they cuffed him and then they took his off of thsc4Watirs
' Sett was me. They came 2 my ten and gave as three diArth :'ordera A -cuff up and I ignored
thee, It was a little' hole'in.artaettrese thet . I was looking at then thro010i,ne I saw
all their movement, I had tOOk . ont...0 , 11y **shirts and vet it so I could breathe once . they .
WOW the oat, *0U-in EY osil4V*
, au a stets towel ma imed around my left hand and
rgai . vaitins on them 2 spray In the tell. After the third orderothey orate* in the cell
and it was like they wouldn't stop1-1 didn't know if that was one spray or three in OIL The# sprayed two more time* and then save me another order to
up and I ignored them.
The'401 .on the blink was yelling "Shis I thoy combs i.1" a nd I'heard. then sisuif so /
HOS* right behind my mattress which was whet I was using 2 Cover my door* T did that
so as soon as they move the mattress out of the way I can go 2 work, I heard the lieutenant
call inf. 4 my diver 2 be *pond and WOWI heard my door buss and I tightened-sy-laft . band
thnS , bed,ths towel napped around it. _ The guard with the electric
ibit/d tried 24vive
et Setts out of the way . with the ghield and when he moved my mattress 2 , the lett . Iairratoodin S ti g ht there and T bit hie with the hardest left hook that I aver threw and
his helmet watt spinning off of his head and on2 the hleck. When the other prisoners ism
the guards helmet they went on tilt And started yelling *Uhlman.* them crackers !fir.
ifter . Iknocket the guardshale.* off he inhaled the G o a. !Ora l and started . MblArLOS- and
I hagpar as his men and 4got 2-sato/ft They ran in and tried 2 wrestle me down and I
StOft,4 fighting AO *so f of thee as I could but once they shot me with that electrical
User ay whole bod y stiffened and they sot the handcuffs -,-on me and carried me Off of the
Rest'veeltalbuck and pike and des 2 pike having stakes too they had 2 . play it a different
way and once they got brought out of their cells pike passed out from inhaling all of
that e,a, spray. After all of our extractions they placed us in different cells. They
brought us hack on the block naked with no sock* Or *hese on and a jumpsuit till* around
our waist. They did this 2 dehumanize us in front of the block and bovinity stop um from
doing it avaii4M1 They put me in a dirty ass cell tha t'', *tali), il l Prisone r was in
that 414.' take showers and used 2 piss OR the floor and smear his own shit on the walls.
They knew that this mil was unsanitary and I wa s n ' t soPPosoi 2 be thorn but they called
themselves making an exempla. All of was placed in cells like this. 2o we covered our
doers back up egain and this time they didn't oven Pat any attention 2 what we
and tried 2 swoop this incident under the rug by giving us all of out property beck. Whir*
/ hei my property I decided 2 write a couple poses titled "Stay True" and "Where were
Uri; I hope n enjoy the*! Revs they ere:
*44 like 4, tM4gfl ,g black
andarlietes aiillirethes 4. 111 U. have/*Moro
And 4 never compromising your principles and morale
even- though your punishment vegi-helynched or death by a gun
I think U 4 striving 2 show my ptOpL a hotter way
CL tj/K0tav
.04 I agoidgdse
Otiiiiei. ehieldai
, .
. - - 4 the dideadietiiiidlUe10SUi-.0001•
• .:'• ' '. '''
'''.,e,:iSly.• -.' ' 111“440101 your U*3.1h0s;.... • •
,:'-.i•-•.-,.• -
with the Seri of a true soldier
- .
• „
-,- ..
be 400
84..0 104kt".-•044
time 00 this ea r th 14" at...„
I hope that one deris4PfHOL.0.100,00.4....00108000F
444 140 2.: abolish this sipn.ti..:4Cunt.. eperSesion 40
itiebe -O. day- well ifier the Mali .picture •
A004 ,100t -ne the same wat.00.. u.lal l used 2
$4441, 02 0000400:' NOS W illY. 0.0
0004.X' S411 4100 protect my essence
and eontinue - 2 stay true.,,n.-4:.:y.,4,;,1,-
over 400, yearsof
Sleek Salons'
, of
celled on n.4 11041i'a
but2140. *Veil ' unser nese ''A
ill00-004404Sol lu010 repeatedly
rajnwaflad,torturediand y eeed1 degraded and
as a sit
,iatdh Soren
1400-4 t
0 1 0.60 eentueided
01 4
ue uor
one another
So our 440°4140.-kla prison or death
eeegtet . gettgl,yet another Black mother
XtIOUk atlas world in It's entiretY,:
‘10, 11nd. it quite -impossible not 2- 0 crony
SOf can I be seet.ta
a satiety?
Olt ransts geeple,:t prey on lil t innocent babies?
Piefir$4400404-400 fags sothOre,,,,
and fathers rape deighters ., - -P*0-4004 u4t000 4 judges molest Children
' - too u4She.eround-and give . ** Orders
vetchad, religion conquer and divide us
04 coerce us in2 killing-0040 hied
1400010A ae4-tragyed-between2k0evasy end hell
rattiau that they bouk-sutut41;,-eur mind
-Off gears*
11410010 •SdOSSeptien-we were.tbroin
-* -OdYus - 10010 000.00e haeux •-„#. we 4get.2 stew true
IuSeed-of00-000Ing.-the- pesir that we have in ourselves' '4;•:
we failed because -we put all âf our faith in u
They took ni through an identtticerlili
and robbed us of our true bellefaivalues,and-cuitures
T00.1' 40teed us 2 tellere-that , the y were bather then us
after we get victimized by these vultures
Then century after aeaterv win gegtedly
asked 4 ye' Kelp
beaus' we didet inderstand 11!.101414: c
If-ealy we would've get off-etwatelees and opened our eyes
we would've sew that u were no bettei:than son
But 1 astend = "0441 4 Yal-traP4sad got sedutettirre' religious jargon and counts;
0 11ottly I watched as ya l .nifts ant broken Promises
leUgene re t bmie st mY PeOPle'ithalr&dimiss
R tjschtil
t Liós
And no I'm not speaking blasphemy
I'S Just sPesking -oauenantity .that showed- us no love
Beane, I never 40d-2-be Olen this cruel world
So why should I be cursed 4-baing a thur
my heart I'm constantly seerth4404 Plena
but knew the deception behdna=4"klife that u sews us
Tit u turn Around and punish us 4 our *perfections
instead of admitting that n -errand in the may that u
now I'm 4orcie2Pase u 4.14 0 realty are
understanding that all aloaplOWta.nothing but a
404 tett putting all of my baltat c ' : faith in u
nursed out 2 be my biggest skis
lakmme, it coactme 2. enttetstend myself first
l'ungerstood that what, 0 were suntuu us mum t true
So through all of the centuries of endur i ng slater, and Pa
my question 2 u Gap is where wets dr....
around my cell after. I wet * these Po ems ead:;,couldet understand bow uses
let them cowards get this nit o ff! My *hie waSaa
t klog and they wouldn't
any showers. They br ough t me my food 2 eat in that fucking cell ' Out of all' of
that these in 0 call With piss andshit.everOkere
seewhat tharkmeneY.ialiniag.
ne brine ma
I- wleh the tat Paler
ietY La wondering why 014ssers ar e coming home killing co gs ankcemiltking
hams ken they was committing b4 they get locked !PI Society is wondering whir these
Prisoners are escaping and would rather die then 2 insalakak.2 this shi t ! If only they
know that the *ma guards they are paying 2 watch over atInhers'are torturing us and
cresting killing-machinss fueled by anger and ate and then they're rel easing the* right
htiOn on the artiste in your neighborhoods! 20eletY only sese :thi horreade ne 444'-thit
the*, prisoners committ when they are released but they're not getting .2 see what that
fluent is B ola * through 114 he's released! This tine of treatment will make 104say nu*
WOO and anybody else that don ' t like it!!!". I (44.4 ant ,,and= elleP under the** tYPtia Of
conditions and they wouldn't give um northing ) eleekilliata42 /1wit h4 We west through cell
extrattions and getting sprayed with mkt. oPrabahookstcWith:-.- electric taters tills - I got
Perman en t scars onaw ribo o left in the cell naked in the
Co ld with no asttrestasS*
-theitsiblenkens.shoespor cl othe*. we used 2 have 2 without just so we 00414. !#.7 stria
They would spray us sometimes and then Pat us beet in the same cello wel0m,-Ogrefud in
and not even clean the cell outl . Thert14 everything that they Could 2 try 1-breek US
but nose of it worked,. wE KEPT FIROPOItt
They tmmwdeigar raliban 2 SCI-Rockview and th ey trenelhatedeW care d lb° 2 WOT4060mtreet.
While we were restating abuse a t SOI*Runkingdsat l ey cedraWtOndri adollthn Jecobstgirr
tine !True Life" Ierasand , caker* were resitting at SPI,dallit i ale SCICoal-Tewnshilsr.$01jah
ended u pgentled tronsfired 2 Huntingdon while we were- going " war with-thelmardtend
because of his atterohistitsad of putting btu 04 ropier pod in the hole/ th at Pet him
rig ht on the pod with us whore: we- we re g o i ng 2 ai r at so they 0424 retaliate against
bit. They started oftby illegallfasfisesting'hie thirteen boxes of legal setertals
from him. Nett. when they saw tha t he wouldn't feed Let 010-Little miniscule taitsatks7
woes bogus misconducts on him. Due 2 them not l iesties,11404 1401 2tothsr bec ause according
g the administration we were Itt00 taftanti41 °O the l. 49* ma.7 2 -the cla -deeth-row cells
that have no inmate witiseses , or centres 2 report abnoto and atolitions'that-otair over
there. This is the dirtiest iesti On 7of the Jell hechinee it is never tutid. , It was winter
time when they movedse-over therm with nothing on but e suicide smock end kept the windows
14010 open. There is no hest over tiers and no radistoreac,007 h eat vests 2 keen Via
with, Tour bed is thick concrete alabiroar toilet it annifete.your . desk is tosorite.and
9(1 4-ebt it)
it's all kinds of bugs crawling all over the place. Due 2 it being freezing cold without any heaters,the concrete slab that I was supposed 2 sleep on turned freezing cold!
They took all of my property because a guard defaced it with "DIE NIGGER!","SBUT YOUR MOUTH
NIGGER!",and 'SNITCH!" while I was in the shower,and when I reported it they 'denied me my
law library and my one hour exercise. So now that it's not any inmate witnesses in this
section of the prison or cameras,they threatened 2 kill me if I didn't give them the legal
documents that the guard defaced with racial slurs.
Another time b4 they took me to DB observation,which is what this area of the jail I am
speaking about is called,a guard Came in my cell during An inspection And left a real noose
on my pillow. I seat the noose and the legal materials with the racial slurs written on
it 2 Amanda Johnson at SRC and she put what they did all . O1 the internet and 88.1fm radio
station and I got retaliated against 4 that. While I was over in this area of the prison
another comrade of mines named Kevin !Magneto" Ignudo was.. over,
and me and him were
the only two people over there.Metelly,because the secretary of the department Of corrections at that time, Shirley Moore Smealordered that this section of the prison be closed
down because it wasn't in any' condition 4 anybody 2 live in, Now 64 I go any further I wanna
slow it down and go back a little bit and then I'm gone come back 2 this section 4 yon,so
hold still and just bare with me. Their are two special women that believed in me and stuck
by ma as well as supported me and kept me strong while I Was on the battlefield.
I was in the fetal stages of putting my business lgether And I needed help so I could
promote my compent:H.O.O.D.L.U.H Entertainment. H.O.O.D.L.U.M is an acronym that stands
4 Holding Oh Or Dy in g Living Under Misery and it's the voice of those who are oppressed
and the underdogs all across the globe. Someone who is like a little brother 2 me named
Demetrious "meat" Wells knew that I was trying 2 get my business off of the ground even
though I was locked down for 23 hours a day, Meat passed me this brochure called "The Prisoners Secretary" that was owned by the model from Nashville Tennessee named Bleu-Ann Russell.
She had her picture on the brochure and I thought she was one of the chicks that had pictures
in the brochure that you could order cause she was so beautiful. I wrote 2 her and broke
down what I was trying 2 do and I let her know that I was on lockdown. I also asked her
who's picture was on the brochure cause she is smoking hot, and I let her know that I tore
that picture off of her brochure and I put it on my wall so that it could give some beauty
2 this ugly ass atmosphere that i'm in. She responded back and even went and looked me up
no she could make sure that I wasn't a pedophile or child molester. She wrote me back and
answered my questions, thanked me 4 the compliments. and disclosed two personal photos 4 me
34 I knew it we were writing back and forth 2 each other and she put my myspece page and
my godbrother's blackplanst page up for me. When I told Meat that me and the model chick
was writing each other and she sent me some flicks he went on tilt and said "As soon as
you found out that that was her on the brochure I knew you wasn't gone stop until you got
hors . 2 this day me and Bleu arestill tight. We argue With each other cause she'A used
2 having her way but that's my baby! Bleu I love you girl and thanks 4 everything! Here
are two poems that I wrote 4 her titled: "forbidden thoughts" and *Getting Lucked by a Thug".
54j give these poems 2 you I wanna give a big shoutout 2 my little brother Mike Small who
helped me put all of the business stuff together cause without him I wouldn't have got it
done. Thank you bro! Alright here are the poems:
"I finally understand my true mission
so I am not opposed 2 the hardships in my past
I realize that my death will be horrible
so any wordrany meal tat any minute
just might be my lest
I've had nightmares about this moment
dreading my unfortunate fate
Finally I've come 2 grips and accepted
that their is just no escaping my fate
4 those of my peers who've grown 2 know me
got a chance 2 judge me past my violence
Please let the world know that I was * product of my enviroment
and that my tranquility lived deep inside of my silence
Because somebody offered me a world
that my conscious wasn't ready 2 see
Cultivating thought inside of my mind
that my essence wasn't ready 2 be
But inside my heart I searched 4 peace
amongst a lifetime of war
Preying 2 whatever GOD that created me
so that my people would have 2 safer no more
Only 2 maize that my blessings were not perceptible
and all of my begging was in rein
So I'd rather go out in a blaze of glory
b4 I succumbed 2 another mans visions of change
Knowing that I might be sent 2 hell
4 exercising my own free will
So while i'm burning in flames I'll eternally scream
ki igt-tbd
of all Bleu I want u 2 relax
take a deep, breath and close ya' eyez
Then imagine me kissing all over ye' body
even those places between ye' thighs
2nite will be different 4 us
so 4 u Boo I'll take my time
And b4 I implant myself inside of U
allow me 2 first make love 2 ye l mind
So open up those beautiful eyes of yours now
and inhale our essence filled with lust
Joanna' explore every part of ye" body
se theirs no need 4 us 2 rush
First i'll tongue kiss u with passion
then suck gently on ye' neck
Hy next move will catch u off guard
as I . bite gently on yet breast
While I listen 2 u moan
I'll allow the pleasure 2 hit u
Then look u dead in the eyez.
IA I bite gently on ye' nipple
Then ell feel ye l temperature rise
sks I groused 2 lick down ye" navel
Blou,the scene I have in store 4 U 2nite
is nastier than that shit u see on cable!
Then I'll lick all over ya l stomach
IA I start 2 kiss below ye' waist
While it moan "Oh my God Rhonshewnt"
as u wrap ye Legs aroind my face
Encouraging me 2 lick u deeper
in those places u will never 4get
And when , ' heir u moan 44
/ I ll know 2 add more preesuro,21 1.0:-41it
, _ ,
(1- 17,1 A
Causing ye breathing 2 get Sevier,
gs I suck ye puesf like it's a droushtf
gorging u 2 tighten ye' WO on MY fact
Atli u cum all over my mOuthi
But I'm not donor with u yet
and I 220124 that -0 40 tr121/ lost
WhOo I tato a over shd proceed 2 stale-my. tongue in ye
ye butt
then tenting u 2 lose control-.
ShOd I spread yi l auks Out,
aid lick ye wholemeholn
Smogies on both of
0124441,oh god boil ,what are you doing 2 met"
is ihst u moan As u relbase'
While I rub to yg"
40048 n 2 tightly Salo the 221222022
Than I'll turn toter 2 fete 041
look in Ye *tea
44004 yerhand
On my rock hard dick
bik't bisect *golf betwoon thighs
SI y I'll take the bead of my dick'
it it in feet 2 01001 U
I'll quickly withdraw myself
*sly fait 2' title u
%ging the lust toys' eyes
Aime switch our position
tern u over on all fours
Se t on adsplete my mission
Putting co ye' heir while I stroke u
as 'I 40 in and ac t in and mean and out
While 'Puck me harder! Don't stop SSW
ie ghat u
Slack is' ass and kiss ye neck
00004 u 2 look back
2h4O1/11 pull
hair herder and go deeper
causits u 2 arch ye' beck
Ai I
°Demn . Bleuscam on this dick girl"
i4 14tet I start 2 San
2144$40 push that age beck 2 um
aircoitinno tritroke u all the way home
°Plitt Boo I'm gumming,* god! Don't stop?"
*ISM u moon ea u CUR all over,mi.diek
The n roach bock and agoese . my belle
doming me 2 sum insido'sf yie juicy pit
Live canape, on each other
is gaol reiievad-04 full of lots
2440$4 this is whet it fide Itile-S
When U getting fucked by a roil the 4
R.. Jfratto4
Sl og loved those. !Peng+. )40,0„enlg teer gg . g4C e .ehef geeeJtO P h er fever/ ea + K en is
very beSseiful l senOitigeiPletange gelelleg A44- abe lo gether4*. -I.thick me and her Just
met at the wrong time in o u rliTOOEI was at the hole at KftSuatingdoniming.throligh
ay battles with these * de e oppressive guards so men eallY_I'rasn't stable and she was
▪ business owner and model 00 _01gig hed slot on her plate at
t the tee . She was used
2 dealing with rich cats and getting her rev because of her
and her body but the
thing that aspirated me.froM,ekg rest of them was that they
2 . her mind end
she fell is love with my realness bat because of my current circumstances at that time
I couldn't give her the typa T lfMtiontion that she needed and she needed alot l and that
hied of took a toll on our relationship and we ended OP drifting apart but 4 the record
inn vented 2 say that Bleu is a vet, special mann 2 - ee-end-I Lore her 4 Oren
▪ thug like me enhance 2 Se e-2 know ho t. It really me en” Iot-2 me and u . vill 4ever
Lamy heart girl!
The an women is Theresa $1442174U me4 6 She is the owner of Lady T production company
and as *Wand all of th e beg*Alle(As tds and brochures:4v company *, iX met her one day
that I was looking 0040 4 prison legal news and their was an advertising section in think that advertised a cOMWY celled The Inmates Priand, and the Services that they offer*
04,10 I wrote 2 rhea 2 solicit their services and the sureiC0* that I needed they 500.461t
provide so the y referred me 41mdtT Productions and I Woke down everything that I needed
end she got it done and then Ijave her a few ti ps on hoW:2 better her bee/Ages and the
tins worked 4 her. We then became friends and we were mentally attracted 24:Mh ethane
ededes She's from California and levee bad boys and looked me up and couldn't believe
that someone as wild as me had the type of mindstate that -I have and she used 2 asfe,ne
all of the time Where are all the good men at? She has a-deughier that she is taking care
of and she has alneutiful heart ' She's a tauten and is stubborn as hell! My mom it: a
-taeras and I told her that me and my mom get along well too, Lady T is a beautiful roman
0e: thivinstde end the outside and she's a hell of a friend. I could talk liter about an y
she'll give me honest sound advice on it.
Iftstni 2 write her slot and tell her about what I was WAS through with these people
and she always had my back. I told her when I coin home I'm headed straight her ray so
we can kick it and she can show me how they do it in califortha. I also want 2 give s
40toet 2 the organisation in caltfornia called "On de Verge" that she works with that
helped under priviledged and troubled youth find assiestence and guidance. Lady T I jest
vented 2 tell you thank you 4 • everything and U will never be 4gottani U embraced Ai at
s'time when the world reit:bid me and I will never ever Aget that. U put love inside of
this thus* hoard I lone bebygia and stay strong! Here's three of the ppetie that I
Wrote her titled "Being Me","Where are all the good men?" b and "Eternal". I hope that u
enjoy theca Here they are:
"I coma from an elite bloodline
that fought triumphantly not 2 be vilified
Through reins end debris I stumbled
not knowing that in my death / would be deified
This world sought 2 break as
making a nightmare out of my dream
but throughout everything that they threw at as
Is the end I always reigned supreme
Unaapable of being truly loved
So I milked this earth alone
Blindly feeling 4 my ray in the dark
trying 2 find someone 2 all my own
Went mum did I bow my head
or let the pressure bring me 2 my knees
fairies that life is nothing but a bitch
that somas and goes as she Pleases
SO courageously I accepted my destiny.
prepared 2 embrace my fate
owing my genetics: 2 becoie, fi/
! th. wont thing that they could over do
2 let
atiimindstatntOng: 02
sinLorc.d 2 live with thies
j-meant I) :VirihieliY4ree
ph ys i ca l he is t wit<tivgr, releta_
lb is :sky T.
", Where4,41. the good men?.
S tats dids,,ll even take the time 2 look?
Or were 4,2 hull patties lit down
or searching 4 toes in ye! latest ' book?-
Where R all the good
we Abe tis belong
4It give, up on ".Blackwoar
Jun because Iom.'fSt brotha did '0 wrong
11 the goods meat
aye sod thee ma y be you, 11- ass
Terdthin You!sre hese; leaking 4
discovered right hero team
leis the *pod men/ s
e s a11
-do Dee s e besi d 0*,
through poverty- sue misery
Or,dodging the graveyards and jag
Where it, al, the ,good *ea?
Pen 'confined 14 it? latest prises
.ambitions of e better 'Mud
wit:5411 the s good, seat,
everyday in
use gooses& elsewhere
sets me hard , 4:0 2 find
sl p d
Whore Sall the good sea?
Uses] did lis even take the
time 2 look?
Or were 0 , 2. busy ratting us down
or searthing * me to Ye latest bock?". •• •
"Men like, come erOuR41OS in 'Teri generation
Because my essence.was Made 00 e t rO n t.e hd reverghi
teat ay spirit g yreds throughout ray whole nation
;, will 'ever be conquered,
is long as al mind continues 2 roes
Strange men seek afters my soul
so they can destroy the beauty inside of me
But sever once did I flinch
or rut from this 4ston death
I fleetly came 2 grips with the reality
that my peace lied in my lest hreexh,
Inn ing that I will be 4gotten by this world
eves though I stied out 4 it's lave
I just, hope that my death will bring a freedom
2-ill of my enslaved hoodlum* and thus*
Iran wild and tired my life relentless
rin g and dodging cops often: .
BiOun' llama that the end of)y,,,r:
timid lead 2 me being tightly tucked In a coffin
Vatehiatjmy black brother/ dieSCSItestreets
nerofneelr caused elbseril bleed
Leaving me so paranoid about this planet
that -I was even afraid 2 have 'me'vtilei
$4 I 'Una all of my young comrades with this message
and I hope that they keen it inside of their Journal
This world hates us 4 wha t' s inside of out soots
but they fast us beaus' we're
You will notice that alot of 41 Polar? that I wrote white: I was At SCI-Huntingdon was
*bout ptinireg esend death. Well i thet's beca lm that t e-ellth it 2 was suc teami d by at
th9r.tits-and I was being told an a deli be'*
i that t would be killed and that. I wasn't.
kaint V2 make it out of the hotoOthile we were going 2 war with these devils in the middle
of 2010.0 whits prisoner that t took 0 liking 2 named,Tteothy Everson Was ;Nitta the hole
bonsai* s racist guard wrote a bogus misconduct on hieLbefeate,he wouldn't denounce his
l aPanda filth and stop befriending blacks. it the time that7.
ioard Wets the bogus
444001Autitale was about I g o home and had gotten ei,ikii;
4 as fro. the middle 444t
and tie mother was on her death bed and he wented:2
": 1,
) she died because She was
the only thing that he had to this world. The hearing that Tim was innocent of the fuchieg*sconduct-but 1641:474:: :::::4414::4116
Wiest examiner b4 tie went 2.the -hearing2 mkt si. that lif
went I the hearing-and mot 90 day s in the M
' it, lie - PtUded : Mi4 ::: ::::1n
: Mnd
tim,never had a'alecenduct his whole timeh
t - but
DO ae
—s examiner We 410 the
, -- he
maxim sentence allowed!
_ Ti. vent 2 his colt and asked 2 see the psychologist but t he guards just ' bleat ed him.
A half hour later when the guard did his ye iide be found
:0 the cell hanging. Tie
had kilted himself. I was hurt! This is just one of many
suicides and murder*
r . ?
tha t
IPIC* and
$44 ***
all, I *** "at ' '
2 wet with these oppressors,' did it 4 all of the Timoti'.12":"0
count/tee Blackeen that they have killed in these sieve ? nan # X40. it a thosef nho-dOeliti'
6°. **11.
have twice and need 2 be heard so I let'em.speak through
.- ' It
T de it 4 t
know how 2 fight beck or who are not stron g 00000 2 ti l l-nick * bole iscutirjr
him, 014.4,09ed it asked
was trying 2 oppress another broths until I'Jeiled in it;nh ...
' .- hia
me tJeekate t why do you care about hi.,? You doitir, eisa: : hie,.Whyldon't you stay out
of this?". I said "Because demo graphical' ' are
everything that you do 2 any of Sy brothell:;SCCU:
1 2,:e tied kn41:11,
I sot down and Vii brook every bone in ' ye.4 -
sh it with toil* why
do it 2 Ammons who dea l t want no treUbie'. '
fs e le. o..htel 4'it
right in front of ye e file: ,.gii iii
Su r Jacksonelooson up a little bit".
*O41144atf-4: 1'tith the
whileI had a guard one time try, 24tay around
at hunt,i*:
issues es4 say "Jackson, are you tolaPak u know whet they 1SY :i
f lial**, .
him". I said "New I'm related 2 Georg e J qk.qe and ypu know what the y say flout, him fiahtfw
and the guard Just got quiet ead-walked.:off, -'I start.d 'laughing real laud in his poilw;
I used 2 try 2 embolden that,' that-WS*. seared of their oppressor 4 . ewr 2 hele.theesit:*0040Ster
urns that ware out on the streets killing people left -end right 400 in here tk'.re coward
R. ,j4cied-tyj
The Om t a t* that were salf
is 10,01,'I ea* ofisn ad **84 .4,-,,
frail world ore
op, ag tosted , ANd raped in th400 . -
k_s:* shai* .3.411g0t: shake my t
amts. 1St* so 48110,gan ter. Ste the same ones 41ONdall.:0101141 punk sea p000r jot*
2 them sorb* of way, ant do wbetsnr they want 2 *haat*/ thaa got the Nor se. 2
go 2 :0002* 4 ke atisirthlY,leas .aPea 4.11attioteat
odutlatdroor because rstbr
oUlin g iti th m*,-09024$ ' I nisb,r iqhin I was 44114 hes-0 000e dh.wes.ahls,rAMISt:'
that end 2 always tell stories about how ha m* 2 tenure Seckeee v ilme 641 ha:ivkta
tag his liter' 2 the pod-.. 44t-,
r when I.. urnIstarted vorkingliere,Ni.used
2 Pill outside 1a4 ite-cema T inj work, I remember it ytt this big ale' nigger that was at
as an et and be was mean ass day me.astShe boys said we See*41-44tOak this
big, son of e bitch b4 he get 2 big, So we sot him edited up and told him -that- we were
doing one of those their Inspections-en the cell and . Wheg-he. COme out the',:ealionacf
the boys S able! 1040t 1,00.Net :trea . an dsr „ hie and get himAn)Oke_grannd c and one of the boys
held one AO his Oe*Aeo-theCetheilleld his other le g 4010,-04 d I .ki c ked Pilit square IS
the nuts ten times, That big:a0kAOHOiseh wa s iest'a.hO ffaiin g and we threw both
is the c*I21, we called that thSpo40040001 fi v aa d he . 0 OrAe d. lat ith iel“ th ee ge t on
*realigns. and said knoN4byy,Wthese 2 kink him in his nuts * You didtg,44 his would
*Ivor be able 2144 AndH isOragnatilys' precious white women , Caw* ii knem-hOw_theallo
-white wOgail-$0:000-arar-Abis.11*** dick! They used 2 sow* in the barn 'while ma***1
we* groa $04t Inii0C00Lthaf.kneris and worship some black dick! Te' wife probably at Noma
right now with a big b lack0-1, 24c wishing and hoping 4 the day that ye bitch ass di* NO
sh*-can-Mea-whak Faleal bleak dick feel ilk, in her moS hb r eSsita0 OassYI Go ask Der" She'll
toi l fee=theaLlhe . tired of la! stinking Ottabeeile tobacco breath ametltng,fat hog leaking
was looking at that men dick and was
PtFilervAAOtAseAte ' e eftielYiea*rulee probably
like Oh belt no! I . As et -have 'him.reinybeeNtia with that sonata!' 2 hO ttai lmit that thing.,
.2iad Out whim we got in .this meet factory!",and
02 e v. i20
out of . coMii40iOn-Wer slut
neifilporale:00Xlettatarta4-14e8hiea at him.
talk real
kus. tet*,04ItS4.400S. 444. :12.hearlioemitekaon s hat yol,piggers alt talk.
it's Asia, aasaa'UOrea-4411
. met poo l . t.biatiie
liegO ladAgaik 4047111*.itak
Watiallass01 : 14A0hink, 14 1: 4420 ***th i g h . right now but as soon as You.loara:.theaos
es2241- 414 : 00,0*-021 r isk k tgatoilal lae*4 toll ys', You lot watch and seen,.1.maidf
eVith%Saf dne r digagepaite l and the prisonerslaughed but he "irked. I then continued "Since
in teld:i st,m4140.4kAit's only right that I tell a story of SY ova, t Tambov in
witch of 20 09#40,044- e hAS: WM Wait Surd that wee 013,420 pounds that was working At
SOlvlbautsdaIe * 4 1041.a racist 400 'talked J ust li ke you. For some mason he Saw goeeS4a$
in vs that wasn't there, , ,ae - kaptl*Nkias with me sed , sYlkiYa iso I triad 2 stay out of his
he to ok ef di p lomacY . * 40va*Oaei So aSysit y a so to the chow ball one day and here
he is aS sie s le tried his :41440:440 and I told hi* not 24*Y and he still pressed ens
AHere's • guard that cAmmil:aiwayajhrag 2 us about not banning in GOD and how he doesn't
bps down 2 saything, , I.gat . oraa of his games and I bit liter with , a straight right hand
.andA abort six itch boob ead-Alut . lits big ass right down! 1 then proceeded 2 soap his
fees in Like /
- things
was . t rY i nir retee0Yeet . * fire that had J ule sta rted and out of all of the
that this guard could ' s eMKNeeeei dte Could've *neared help mo i sstoftef *sot
-oven Rock you' Do you kn ow.shASJICSOSee ie d / 1 4 11 toll you. Be screamed Oh 09D! somebody
ta t him Off of ma! Oh OM ! Please! So et he r et t i ths o as s whooping worked out 4 botkaf
us becue'tkrough me , brually . whogOing.that whitemen's saaskis and his other racist counter
Par te itch* de partment of corrections to venns y lvania *rood 2 never fuck with
Jackson ever agaimond I halped . iiia404 . 00D attar all, De you ses t a work ed 004-kboth
of tia ,11VerYbedf started leughing again and he looked at me with death in-hie-INY04.400
I thought about what this racist pussy had just said 2 me and realized that death was
the only punishment that they could give me. I had been through every form of punishment
that the D.O.C. had 2 offer and I was still standing. Out of all of the hate and racism
that they were showing me and as hostile and evil as these white racist were making the
enviroment,I had white people like Amanda Johnson and Bret Grote who were making it totally
impossible for me to be completely racist and hate all white people and believe me I wanted
2. These white people in this organization became the common medium 4 me between hate and
love because after a while I had sincere comradery love for them. I developed what I called
selective recism.meaning I knew how 2 return the racism that these white people gave 2
me. I don't want 2 advocate any negativity but at the end of the day I'm a realist,and
being real I must say that the only thing that the european man respects is violence!!!
Do your research and read history and you will discover that every nation,country,or groups
of people that tried 2 use diplomacy with the europeans got conquered! And these oppressors
at SCI-Huntingdon were no different!
The D.O.C. advocates for prisoners 2 use what's called a grievance system which is basic ally when you write a inhouse report on a guard or a staff member that has violated your
civil or constitutional rights. This process is supposed 2 help minimize problems within
the specific institution that you are in. But what happens when the people in charge of
this process are racist,oppressive,and are operating with evil motive and intent? Do I
still put my faith in a biased,prejudicial process when I know I will not recieve any relief
from this procedure? What happens when complaining isn't enough and you see that your issues
are just being swept under the table? What happens when the same people you reach out 2
for relief are supporting and backing those that are violating you,is this process still
valid or is it now considered tainted and no longer of use?
I saw that this grievance system was being used as a retaliatory tool because all of
the guards that we grieved/retaliated against us for grieving them without any fear of
termination,suspensionor being reprimanded. So how can a prisoner have any faith in a
bipolar system that he is witnessing never show prisoners any equality when it's dealing
with certain issues? Nobody,unless they experienced it,will be able 2 understand the rage
and hate that you develop for this oppressive system after you are watching the same guards
that have tore up your mail,family photossand obituaries in front of you,starved you,beat
on you and shocked you with electric shields and tasers,sprayed you with pepper spray and
0.0. gas illegally and unlawfully 2 try 2 kill you,continuously label U with racial slurs,
just walk away scott free without recieving any type of punishment. Out of all of the wars
that I have been through, this race war with these guards was the worst because it was very
emotional and psychological. It ate away at my soul and created a bitterness inside of
me that only true love can conquer..
I couldn't understand why everybody wasn't feeling the way that I felt. I would watch
these guards burn a prisoner for his food,showerior yardpand talk crazy 2 the guy ,but then
the guy would go back 2 population and be around that same guard like he didn't just violate
him. But if me or somebody else would've did the same thing 2 him that the guard just did
he would've had 1,001 ways on how he was going 2 kill us and our family. I remember it
was a older prisoner from pittsburgh named Showtime that I got tight with and I remember
he told me one morning,he said "Shit,I been in this jail for a minute now and I gotta admit
that you are a different breed. I ain't never see these cats stand up like this against
these guardsoever! I'll never forget this day June,26,2010 youngin! A new breed came thru
Huntingdon". I understood exactly what he meant because when I first got there it was hard
for me to get these cats to come together because we had so many petty indifferences that
was keeping us apart and divided. Unity was a foreign concept 2 these guys but after myself
and oldhead Salida° kept continuously getting on the gate and grinding these cats 2 dust
they got it. Me and my comrades already had tt but we needed the whole hole 2 get it so
that we would be effective. I got moved 2 A—pod after we took the hole over and I noticed
that they were trying 2 put there thing down on that pod and were burning these prisoners
and turning them against each other and had them disrespecting each other while - the guards
sat back and laughed at their ignorance. I felt some type of way about that and I wasn't
about 2 let them get that off. I immediately started grinding the guards up and disrespecting them. Everytime that the guards tried 2 hang out on the block.' grinded them up and
disrespected them and soon they stopped coming on the pod trying 2 get the prisoners 2
go at each other.
It felt good 2 see my oppressors squirming and fearing me. It wasn't about rich or poor,or
even good or badothis was about respect. I didn't care if I died in the process,when they
walked pass my grave they would say that it's a man in that hole. I wrote 2 certain people
that I once considered friends and even family members and told them in the letters what
I was going through and I know they got it cause I sent them through other people, but they
didn't care and never even wrote me beck! I told them that these people were trying 2 kill
me and I wasn't even worth a letter of support or encouragement 2 stay strong! I used that
disappointment and anger 2 keep: me alive! Their is a difference between loving someone
and caring about someOne. I love cheesecake but I can live without it. When you care about
someone then you don't mind inconveniencing yourself just 2 make sure that the person you
care about is comfortable. So you can't truly love someone unless you care about them oleo.
Alot of people may love a person but they don't really care about them so it's easy 4 them
2 leave them 4 dead or 4get about them. I learned that valuable lesson when my life was
on the line and I'll never 4get it!
One day I was sleep and the guard went by my cell thinking I wasn't eating and I got
up and went on tilt! The whole pod covered their doors and was reedy 2 go 2 war until they
got my tray. A sergeant by the name of Dunk'e came to my door and said "What is it about
you that makes these guys follow behind you without fear of the consequences? What is it?".
I said "I don't know" and walked off of the door. He came back with my tray and I thanked
everybody for their support. Later on that nightone and my oldhead Salideen was talking
and he said " you know why these guys follow you like they do?". I said "Not really
I guess it's cause we all going thru it with these guards". He said "No ehizzy.that's not
it. These guys follow behind you because you are giving them something they ain't have
before you got here and that's hope! These guys was living in despair and they wanted to
stand up to these devils but were too afraid or didn't know how to. They see you fighting
' the devil that they fear and they see that the devil feats you! Thet i s why they are following behind you son! In the bible.quran,or any holy book you will See that the devil only
fears GOD because he knows what he is capable of on a grand scale and the devil knows that
GOD doesn't fear him. You came in this jail fighting from day one so they knew what you
were capable of if your mindstate spread through this jail,which is why the major of
security told you that they'll never let you in this population. They know that if you
go in this population with the mindstate that you got and it becomes contagious then it
will become a epidemic that they can't control. So they was hoping that they broke you
in this hole but it backfired on them. Certain jails are not gonna even allow nobody like
you in their population Shiszy. They're gonna' try to keep you locked down until they can
find a way to kill you or break you so you gotta start using ye' heed youngin' and learn
how to out think'em. I've been in the hole for 27 years now for stabbing a lieutenant up
and they won't ever let me out in any population cause they know that the next time I'll
kill one Wet. They know who you talk to and they watch everything you do now. This is
a whole natifwar that you are fighting Shiny and every move that you make must be a calculated step.don't ever forget that youngin'!".
I never 4got what my oldhead had dropped on we and I not only grasped the concept behind
his message.' understood my true enemy and what I was up against. I understood that the
majority of these cats are not MEN/ They feared the whiteman so I wouldn't be recieving
any type of assistance from them. Outside of my comrades that shared my pain I was basically
by myself. I sat back in my cell and I-thought about my life as a whole all the way up
2 this point. I understood that every strugglemery adversity that I had been through
in my life prior 2 getting sent here was just preparation for this moment. Life took me
through certain testa and certain pain 2 strengthen me up and get ma ready 4 the next pas
phase of my journey. So if I wouldn't have went through what I went through in my life
and I had tried 2 change one thing like.go left instead of right,or atop instead of go.then
I might not have learned what I needed 2 learn or obtained the inner strength that I needed
2 overcome these trials and tribulations that I was now enduring.
It all made sense now and I fully understood my purpose. I fully understood life now
and I would never let anyone try 2 convince me that I was something I wasn't even at the
threat of death. 34 I left SCI—Huntingdon's hole my oldhead Salideen told me that I was
a field genera/ and he said "Shizzy,you got guys in these prisons and on them streets that
call themselves generals but they don't have any type of training,haven't been through
anything.and can't tell you the first thing about a bettlefield,or what it means 2 be a
soldier. These people call themselves generals and they have no self discipline or control
over themselves. They get emotional and stop thinking cause they are clouded by anger.
R , 4c, vt--04)
:::ttYou can't tell them what their doing wrong cause they think they know it all and a man
j 'who thiajcs_he knows it all is just as (limb as a man who thinks that he can stick his cup
in theiaill and drink it all. Beware of all false impressions Shiny. I don't care how
much someone tells you that they love youpdon't lake tt for face value. Start an argument
with them and You'll knol how they truly feel about you. Anytime that you arum know what
you are sli pping On or what you need to work on.just start a argument with somebody that
loves you. People that say they love you always hide what they truly feel in their hearts.
I started slot of A rg nO0t4M -wi th you because I was testing you. I argue with All those
that are close 2 me ssqt r
always know what they are concealing in their hearts. Don't
forget that little bre. Whin You leave this jail these guys are gonna go right back 2
what it was, The devil Wasn't lying but while you're hear makeem pay youngte! Make'em
I soaked in everything that my elder dropped on me and I applied it in my everyday life
from then on out. I sew the world and it's inhabitants in a whole new light now. The wool
had been taken from over my eyes and I woulderbe decieved again. I would try my best to
exhibit a conscious to my own kind until they gave me a reason not 2 because one thing
this experience taught me was that every broths ain't a broths so I wouldn't allow an
imposter 2 prey on my compassion. This Hell that I had been placed in humbled me and it
made me a better man. I needed 2 see this side of the struggle or I wouldn't have
appreciated it as Much. Because of my influence they took as 2 a sitCtion called DO observation and I now understood every move they made with ma and the motive behind it. They
couldn't allow me or anybody who• thought and fought like me to be around the rest of the
prisoners. They had 2 isolate us until the oppurtuntty artsed for them 2 kill us so I wasn't
surprised when they kept coming at my comrade Andre "Soljah" Jacobs and eventually brought
him over to where I was at after they performed a retaliatory cell extraction on him.
First of all,out of all jailea Why would they send him 2 Huntingdon after knowing their
reputation and the fact thatiA r ware engaged in a heavy war with the prisoners in the hole.
Then out of 4 pods.they put him on the worst pod which via the pod that we were on. As
soon as he got 2 the jail they immediately pulled a more 2 separate him from his legal
property due to the fact that he had sued the D.O.C. for $185,000, They constantly retaliated against him for that. They brought him over like they did me in just a smock and none
of his property and it was cold as hell over there but we had been through worst so he
just sucked it up and we played chess all night, It was me,Soljah,and our other comrade
Kevin "Magneto" Ignudo who I fucked with real heavy!
One morning i e rookie guard was serving breakfast and the guards had told him 2 retaliate
against Soljah. So since Soljah was on a Kosher diet due 2 his Jewish religionothe guard
went inside of his bag that contained all of his breakfast in it and took out the peanut
butter and 00 *Acker, that were in it. Soljah asked for a sergeant or a liuetenant but
the guard wouldn't get one so me and Ke y covered our windows until someone came cause
_1 ...the4uatdelmeonJnetalistiou4galest Aim on some pusay.shit-entithey knew that all-his...meals..
i1/4ke Ktoil
contain a certain amount Of'protain t vegetables tandlruitt so they used to fuck with
his food to get him to get lid end do something so that they would have a reason to
run in his cell and tabs all of his legal materials from hts so that he couldn't litigate
his civil casee..Therbeted the fact that Andre " S olicit" Jacobs had COmflrOn nothingtbeen
falsely accused of crimes that he didn't commit tees* to prison as a man of *ler and
print/plan that he never compromiOed,learned their law and beat them Out of $185,000 for
retaliating against him and assaulting him, The last thiegthat they wanted was for me end
his 2 end up in the same prison 4$* each other! BUT IT HAPPENED! And we turned Sas.
Huntingdon upside down b4 we left
We and Safe% used to play chest eil day end prepare fir our next move..I used 2 tell
him all about Panels Sergeant and howl hurt her by having this girl call her
that nonsense and I told him hew / felt about her end hOw2 had asked herteam me on
the street*. I had a picture-onamele and 64124 nameithoegy thatmewent to school stth
us 'that my radbrother /tall had,g0i4me *Mono/eves atIOrAoutzdaisx and I used to pia it
on ay wall end I Used to - look-Mt -PO*1a *veer morning ihet-liaOke.ep and every night b4
tweet 2 slee p. She was my inspiration 2 stay strong andlarlet these people break me.
'hadn't spoken 2 her in years but I never once stopped being in lovieitk heriteepl y and
PaSsionatel y . I used 2 be in pain in my cell sad just start thinking *honk -getting out of
prieonisetting riefismarryins Pamela and making her the biaPpisst imam in the whole world,.
Anything she could ever dream ofsoulti best her dispoenised I would treat her
eae04 that she is. I used totall1SOijah how beautiful ski is and hoe me and '
ant* Ail of the time and he used 24tugh. I told him that I'm going 2 marry bar one day
and Soljah said "The way you rapping my heed off about 1144a better".
That picture of Pamela kept me so strong! Just being able 2 see her smile while these
people were trying to kill me in this hole and get away with it gave me the extra boost;
of confidence and strengths that Iineeded to endure the pain that I was going through at
that time. Pamela has always beeneq. :angel and I don't :1*ov why I never told her that. It
was some days that I thought that,flould die in this helm b4 I ever got the chance .2 tall
hared I would let everybody thatl knew know how I felt about her so if I did die b4 I 7
got 2 tell her and they made it,then'if they ever ran int her in life then they could tell
her how I lea about her. But I made a prattle* 2 myself that tif l-ever nederit oUkAf this
hell alimetthet. I would apologise for disrespecting 110440 myself togetharpte111$00i9e
I 'really feel about herand marry her or die trying to tarry her. It GOD blessiee0-441
a"Second chance and I lived through - this t then not even the 'threat of death would stop me
from telling her how I truly feel abouther and what she truly means to me"4IOTBING141
The racist guards kept fucking 1.4th' Soljah and one mornin g they tried, to funk 4th hiji,
breakfast and sweet:our other comrade feria "Munn? 'S unda had to cant our cell willidevik
and prepare to go to war with the guards again until they fixedSoljah's feither bag, I
knew that we were about . 2 go to mar ten I did what I always did right b4 I went 2 w4Mettb'
the police.' kissed Pamela's picture and preyed that if died that GOD protected my sea
from the evil, spirits that wanted it,; Luckily for themAhaT fixed his bag and nothing Wigan"
ed.,A week Later on January 26,20/1;3they told me 2 pack up and sent me to the Special Menage.
meat Unit(SMU),which is where all of the most violent prisoners in the atete,of Pennsylvinie
an sent when they continue being violent to guards and prisoners. It's 4.(18) mouth Pregraa6'
Now I would prepare 4 the next phase of my journey..I want 2 end this chapter with a poem
that I wrote for one of my favorite comedien* .Mr.Richard:Oryori ki s celled "FLAWLESS" and
I hap., that U enjoy it! Sere it 1s1
"I thank GOD 4
2 enjoy u for 65 years
an angel 2 brighten s avour days
Means. u Pat a *mile on my face
V Shined light en our darkest- nights
where there once was silent tears"...
with ye" humor, and articulate ways
**Pryor U will never be 4gotten
4 the breath of life that u are
A Mack king that shined so bright
GOD transformed u ie2 a star
Ye" heart was made of beauty
with a spirit compelled of gold
Throned poverty and misery u struggled
2 help ye' story 2 be told
So I's glad I had the chance
I Vent 2 the $MU and it watt ,100:1,4014etbar_ colid.:Initeed of Callin g it the SMU
it Sh el ter* been cartatfhilg#0000 li0040'001. 0.-4 was like a hundred different
isychoets in this one
*F"11' 904jettatat One tile. tt, wal. ..* Cragyenviroment, You had
svikat wooltetreight!'un'Wer00. you and then het mad at you 4 not liking it. You had
*Fa that would aka the toa t Ods tOttal ebaSPae onntainer insietrategicslIY‘ put Piss and
Skit in them And shoot them on other Oriaaaerft and you didn't even have 2 Win surergn.
*et with Uses litte in twilit 22.0414 Oa ted 2-this tills of intimate *bus*, k . guy sight
Sit and tent 2 talk 2 YiSOialtateatial Ytituann't talk 2 his he'll throw pin and flit
*41 , ,Or you'aiehtle argti*O4tkOna at his herniae. an d . Wracked - you 2 sleepend-got
itliOtbr eleudia tierrs "t" - harirenit at"the -444 with seiad,aisseat t hrough the program
t love hie 2 41tatht. Tha tte my heart! Everybody
Ziether• T is a warrior end loyal as thet ; itnows - his *al he's crazy as 4411 If I wouldn't haaa:Inate-2 the program he said
W ise Mae Naha them fail. his out of it. We kept each othe r strong itr that program4and
had the guard, 14 0440 , C/ the time I got there so once I cane- through
r ho , 2 , 46 was
just follow his lead.
USW* Were other toed duties there
like Fernando "ti tofliteal o ileary geoser,Ctsco
Still erg" Levis who is like 'e little brother . 2 si,Azi*:***- Wright who IA also a bro..
- '2446 and 2720 " 40 Cal now known 42 Bro th* tintsash" ' Ottle who is also like a little
he r 2-1.40414 *, Tacasial ft0MOi ttflagghensad itnadsli'"Chslls" Purham„ We all heist
- iv,aher focused and made it through the P rague and while we were going through the
prog rsa je.,7 40stieedrade Saes through aesed Carrington "Tra Life" Keys, I alSaan't 4get
the standup eldheads that were there and kept us focused and *misted. us chatterer we eesded
them Which were Marl "Anwar* Cotton and the onielid only original Mikey Raw, The guards
ialePtfted us at this spot So we didn't really hsr 2 Put ,n0 .Cerk in but the guard named
\ . cooktho /had got 142-Wwith
at SOP.Casp Rill was nnts. it sergeant at the emu I was at
and we definitely- remembered each
other, -He ended
- up setting Se up and writing 4 bogus
'induct on me and maktall es back in the proven. I was so fucking mad but I bounced
5. beck*Wended up going back through the program. I had mod* itifral/ the way 2 phase
t ree and ries 419«.4.1. meke phone cello and the fi rst Pigeon I called was shaquanda
sokit . lett so fucking good 2 hear her voice. She used paten my spirits up too and sake
40401SiliOW-hOlagirrtaikOsad 2 write me toe and keep . me focused and curse me out from
time lithliAtaklife-tnd *Side Johnsoluhed gotten real 41o40 by this time and we used
240tAtosah.Ottair et i Of the title. Win* become good friends and used 2 talk about everything. She used 2 land me books she wonted me 2 read and we would disease how I felt about
the took. Sal-Camp Hill hated that,becateelsends is # Chittsvastan a oungoand she works Li
Apit:Cfrgeniestion that is against solitary renfinenent„so, they used 2-keep all of her mail
and . say that they had 2 inspect it 64 I got it. They also hated the fact that Amanda used
2 call ap, 2 the ,prison anytime they tried 2 retaliate against es and she would report
At 4 the authorities. Amanda did a 25 Pag e Mort on on inter comrades thees on the
' isternetcalled "Unity and Courage-Resistance at SCI-Huntingdon" which is on the innards
Oig isbeitt.
In one of Amanda's letters she silted me how I maintained ay strength and my fight 4
all of these Sere, I wrote her
back and thanked her 4 her compliment and wrote her and
Poserty,needsowsnts,and pain so as long as those elements
retain in the world then I will always be able 2 fuel my energy. I then wrote her a poem
: titled "Prophecy* and I hope you enjoy it! Here it 1st
*Since the beginning of my existence
scimetist have tried 2 irritate my state of mind
I col* from an honerable t elite,set of genetics
and AO unconquerable bloodline
Through stroke of luck I made it this far
constantly hunted since the day of my birth
MT true *neer understand* the strength in ns essence
so they seek 2 **terminate me from the face of this earth
I stand on strong principles
and a set of morale and beliefs that only princes die 4
In my *Art X reallr ,withithst4.41.01.hrhat,—...,_. .f
41 of the pate that my Black aithet have : artiml ,10
We have sold oursolret , 4 Oturnbm- .
• ..... . ,
eihYtaettam: by their ;Us
One ttaTi h0Oo2:40,04W,Slick-Attego.4000
and all °thy :ghetto gusto, rise I.
roughreligion we were 100 , 214e0c2,, .
•'-lattoott*d khelp on ourknee.
Whithithei ltartere0 teo04.0M-Vecte and children
ihat . egtual,thousht.40.coolt hear their P lea*
She;2'ilisetntifiett the record straight
the gutuM0>litiv in met07**,,,,,e-,..
'bites' I f-, 11 war : turn artiihack.:4Wthis struggle
1 . ‘,0* - that , *haell-never tekk410,0lle*"......
.,. ... ,
. .
tact of emotion
' „,•• - •
. wroreally
- • k, andht4Ceavdmit
it. S POOOC!who ,is like a 040._ 4. ....' 2 00Lalait was Writin g 00
sad IM1 me fochstd.:Hit 04004***000440"•VOUP00 IC0114.14.0**ort: 000 he had
heard about slot of thotoeufttaht-St stiucep_vith H at,01 ,ha ieashost*Oloie through
WhOt iolOW- Eme t4 italel2 mike tu**AhhC'I•wt* A tertSkt 444,TkeeP CO 2oe utiO004, cOuld het
.00(tOrtk0 program and tate-t04004200400:VOOnala letters really
00. -100.00/10ectiaaj, ,aetded:eotOcreal„.rip at that time 11.41741Cesh00004:THOtO surrounded
b y mtth , fakt:shit st.hin- lettert were t-hregth.afireWdttr0t$C,brothor:Amit
aa grounded too $400400 I.vsi about 2 flip 00:101-thit_one guard that *co .
• 100a
his luak: 00ktite ,in-thoJardand-Mat SiTe_me,4-lockM00. 4000,4 the words !VO, .
thhia4 ,: ho And I know why ht, at4 itir,1* did it 010 010011 -000• 0140---1 setyppest460.
' I Cha lk cat it of: 0104 he on phasetwo at the time tO 4 1 /-yteleet went in my bag
aOrthah-luards rolled on me what I was handcuffed,! WOW", fucked Okhil-Chtetta-Of
0-01049ttlei out of the hole because he w901,07.00.ReTersIttc,that ride and as tete as they
iiiismedow his stt* all 0412.would've broke loose! So 2.; Cie rttiet it2 consideration that
b r.ther got mrshet at getting out of this hell AO I. 01144X.100004 :wok that 0 O-0 him!
4440.10Whokorlattr the same sttr000/0 cook.sot,t4444 httiatte0 :4000'hiether ;OA
*bout 2:tOrn over 2 0400 two at the name ttee.01,14100044140.00mttS,
eetrOCO*rt asit wi thhatal handcuffs on. So ht !pot std 4024 thtuttertAt etT410.VIll
that he
khO-6400 kyle got 2-040000. thtt-,C0400.01001401:011 'tak401-kt0.ageOtopotth of to and hYl e'l.Prtaok.rePetattea
l O,00044, assaults01010-0*-0kkar
:Choach. tranaftrud. me ; 4P/44/Atte in 100 e of*201;_80004 114 me and kyle a°1040,:,,: •
thre a ts and maid
we are not 41,2owpd 2 at:0*r pentanettittettteat ;Seth i*. We
titO a1 &at* Ot,-.0204e$01110.1eat said that they had reliable iitel
1-- kititsr-'001"041""
that we were planning
thk1OR 0.,,t0**I0**ett/ officer SA** Ite-thuldetteie-ehillahre
' this skit! , I completed the prairie at SCI-Fayette and on north 21.2013.1 got sent to ckttAbiet state correctional facility.
Alt_000 as Z 10- 2-*O lta thion I. ecapublic . eptt2 number one. I-had 2 so 2 * Cto1WCW
1 eliteakitemtittetc:10 :haar ttt and em soon as X - Sep In thS4CO_Oftge one of the deputies
mettlItr0010000440 You knot that your Cleeter0 Z.001 ,v4t;:040'i-k00:000110)1 said
"Well You 000 Ve.010100 0110 14.7,ae hterittesc Tito* at ncl,hoitmdOlt and assaulting
those guards in Our trate.** Vitartme‘whi40:1004 that any Orion that poi:salt the
Ithihtof penaifirania they Will kith who Ihteshtwn . Jacktot At";011-sailed. - I said "240idult
• h0Ow lket", :eadttmer female thee *OW m* "S0 whY. 40001***14t00040 like you in our
POOOlotto071. I 40010 "Because I successfully completedkhe:Oiet.Prograt 4 violent offenders
tm1121,'trxtus 2 ,ohanst". She said "Oh Osallyfthot why did you ind:Mr.2ratt,Jitt14
2 takeA..-SUirdjhotteseot 0c100.4.1,/40", I said "I think you got the wrong file henoneerShe said 'oh /eshOold'outtad
'ASsow nivttaris little- aph:lcOwor chirskiti her lilts ttain• then - 004_',I:OtIO4 mOrTmetee,s1Cutre Wthhtt It was at ett•0000
- kniMetht 40 Y as 010 14. 04.*= 0.1.,401:141140 ear4I:satiamai
httriatt- Cao Probibl f
00001, 0**0:L 40.41 or any kind of 4,014.-PluOt-,.
:000 rtatattd4 writ. IS .4
whikeevi it to that's in your ftloa•mo- I thttk-tklt .T.O01000:,-4.00t et:ptsulatioichstaiche
Whittair it in that file Myriam-41y wasn't strong
stet me from completing the
prtstte". She said 'Ted have aaltiSliti attiialt0 on prisoners and lamaht .40 10 we know
that pace we release you Ai2 onr.Paholitiel that it Won't happen assit2%-l' said "Sects,*
telling you sea not". She - tairOke y Mr.Jacksanswo!r* . _sipta sirs you a:thence 2 prow*
It ,J4t1t304
was let out in population that night
yourself. Pleas don't maksiteir Oaf sent to-I;$104 aski
tLa:up ay violent
history and my reputation so that I could be
ionirliclosel y . i
11 9 .Wata'Aft -darult" C444151" didn't get along with al"
of people beaus* she could spot bullshit from a mile away *a d She bad a attitude problem
but She respected and tactl itias0 real Osa 00 me and her SOX 4 190 9 Just fine. As a-mattet
of Santa couldn't understand why Ma p le didn't like her because once you got 2 know her
she was a real sweetheart that triad 2 *L ea bai t as she could. Me and her got tight bar:luso I was always abOut2ani rout , and, a47.60 ', Teri:004)ot thi s ?lackwoman knew
calm me down s° I could see the bigg eriviCtureo jf'phe honied
JP40 hew 2 talk 2- me
with - Yen(liks afiefaiseYs said) c 6.10. she 44 Ye' hick. MI•Choek is thereasn 7 0# I *Solt ..
*nod my an probation ben** it a4;tioaa when I just wan* 2 **salt 4 -10ard or &inmate
a0d- I *quid go and talk ,vithovmt,and She *** 1 4.c00 11, 00.46,11 ; I got 'alOt Of lave'
and respect 4 M440001(010:14140401 her rb?!Ter I
i0t4abtim was 0044 1414
110 - 107 - "sisal thOtIVOgOart, seen in furs GO fail,
that I hadn't eet*in fears like Ronnie "Ron Noe HotheajOhOnt NOP" gmYstaroPutirto
vlaatiflassad Will "Pooh Poor HO0i5U3“ also mat slot of 990d dada*, too . For the most
Pare ;',4644 2 flay 2 itself or,heiaPas. cheek office talking 2 her. I ueed,4ille y rheas
** to; I lot along with filtit: Pa0P 100 but &lot of people hated me too , b4Cause of who
“m,iiit because of my 60 04 lajth' Pooh pooh. My young's that I sot slot of ler4 4 mowed
Shainlallamps Ledbetter was here with sa too and his coualikaarsa "Nino" Harris who is
SSW. Mouths had watt by and everything was going smooth. Also a Iola' Matte named
*urine *HOW Stevens that I got love 4 was here with na *OM. Pooh Pooh had waled up
gattiA4 cbargad 4th's hom icide that some rat oat Joker put On him do he could beat his
cop shooting. Poi* Pooh was my walkte so we used Ego over the case day in sad day out
MOwl,toOld come up with the beat 1AI-s tall' 2 show that this case was bonne. After months
of 1rebaireing and potting strategies 2gether.the Moment of truth came and pooh pooh got
tilled down 2 arena and he stood tall and beat all of the charges? ilot of cats hated
that he 100* and when he came beck 2 the jail you could feel the tension in the sir!
As soon is be saw me he hugged me so tight that he lifted me off of my feet and said
"Wirdid:it behrhoyl" and told me how the district attorney was sick when he beat all of
OitnaCherges.,It got me hype just 2 see one of us come up against this runlet oppressive
Pooh Pooh Iota me like A little brother and all he would talk about after that
via :getting home and gettin g me home. Somehow some old unresolved beef between him anoints
broths esied.H4*M got /perked back u p . On this particular day,! was in the office talking
with 00.chisk and nino calve in and was like "Shiny! need 2 holler at you". I could tell
froslit:_look on his face diet it was important es I excused myself and stepped out in
2-Milk with him. When I got in the hallwayotno said "Yo.pooh was lust arguing
with thenigge heem and he was threatening 2 kill him and all this other staff and baem
told pooh that he wanted 2 ramble him behind the handbell/ court but it got broke up".
rliatoned 2 nino tali me this story and I asked "Who was out there with poor. He said
%b and 204e. I took in what he said and thanked him 4 letting me know. The bell rang
4 count and I told me.chosk that I would see her 2eorroa and wont 2 my cell. While I was
in my cell I started thinking. Why Would pooh threaten this man instead of just marine
Why didn't bump Pull pooh away from that b4 it got that crony? Now I didn't know beam
POrsootill bu t I did. know that he was welkin' with Reese who is pooh youngboyl and I fuck
with tees* heavy. dime my own inveatigattona found out that reese, took it upon himself
2 So 2 pooh 2 vanish this shit so he wouldn't getcaught up in the middle and have 2 shoos*
a raids when he got love 4 all parties involved. How can you ask a man 2 pick boomed his
elated and his valkier
l'kAaw pooh and I know, t h at Pooh is stubborn and if he feels like he heellaWheilot
gone feelright until something is dons about it. I also found out that pooh was tanning
hail ivorytime that he saw him in treats or anywhere due / pooh tesling-fike'hiem dierselVa-•
bid Ms by salting 4 A ramble. Soot knew that I bi d 2 go talk 1 pooh mite this is not
something that can be sat 01,4_ I meet pooh In the Yard and r sslhim what ie 0. Hi WW),Solcl
"Mi l& you just got through doin g five yours is the bola and I want you 2 shay out
of *hie+ He told Ron Ron the same thing . I shook my hoed and told him "I walk with you
everyday Outdid we like brother*. How the fuck can I stay out of this?". Ron Hon said
"YoshI poob we be with you evorrday i like how you gone ask us 2 sit this one contr. Pooh
said "I respect and appreciate yell loyalty but this dude picked hi. poison aq4 I got
it. I'm asking yell 2 stay out of this". Ron Ron said "Met matron try 2 aqpesfl this
' 1444100
shit and tome hollared . ot_m?".100,1140, "YeAbAlt_ this 4 Seat to far this time*
/ get bin". I 040.0k EY hea4SISAWASAIO,X.000t-hhink poohwas thinking straight. X said
situation sa4 hire they sreOihher,You. accept his
"Phh.700 only Pa two Wiens t&'
SOOlat'and squash this shit a r _we liSOh' cnir shit up Site and 2morrow'we.ta on his block
sad sinew the fuck out 'teeny in the Wareing and buck traffic * These are ye only options .
bra". Pooh said "lit be T got this! I'M Asking you 2 ay outof this" and then he reached in2 his pocket and pulled oute kite hewrit.
me end gave it 2- me and I put it ins
my*kits We wa t t in from the yard that day and I had albAd feeling about thia Sole
thin g . The next morning I was in cell typing up my brie f. h chart and Sinn Pees 2 my
deist and sairShifias you Otos, sit°. I said !Rew,whyDrOte said "Oh 4I asked cause I think
peek going out and Ron Ron tiretYthelleT and lina ' t think bump going eue";k. I just felt
that 1,4 feeling in 22 gut s hain :Inti ,X. 4441 "to ste t -' ,PR: 002w * OS said "YeSh*Isa
going Pat". I said "no you agtir,ltat in this Moraine. '-::,,,Said "i!bY2 If Sheen Stang
there". Oh and Wino a re tile%IL
„HAI* used 2 Set Meie r money
you ihOn:IinHani
but since bet e. been /Alan people that bietiiated turned on bd4P and a situ..
on the attest
attin happened where this cat trii444bakelino down for $22, ,A00lendj was on the front
the guy
line 4 him with his consist BempleWhS ' neier 4got that. Wino ended up punching
in the face and dropping bite ' •:::::-.;
in the leg real bad
Isola Nino not 2i go in eh.Yar
. - d this morning because he got2shot
2 worry about if
f SPOOthinil wen t
and he lot a
pop off you're'
in as condition 4 . ,he in the line of tiro * I know Oars we stand alright'", He nodded his
head that he understood but I can tell that be still wanted 2 to * I want out 2 the 'Yard
and pooh pooh saw me and came around the track 2 bug me. He hutted me and we went 2 the
WOW of the track and talked.HI saw heem and relies come out 2 the yard and a pproach us*
I- knee from the way that hamm was walking that he was ',Pe OP with that hawk on him*
/ asked pooh did he have a knife on him and be said "Nowc I shook my head again * They
case around the track and I stood in front of pooh with my back *wards hum and if beam
wanted 1. he could've killed me but titian/4 that I wasn't his target. I took -a gamble
with pp We and I-did it because heai would have 2 nom* all thtway around me 2 get 2
pooh and by that time pooh would be read y * Reese said ' What' s 4P shiers I turned around
00 looked at mese and helm went around m0 and Swung on pooh, Reese never drew his knife
On !MAW pooh!
I done herd so many versions of this
. „ . . that T set the hit up and
. . //tor,* I even heard
steed there while beam and reesestabhed P0o0 4P.. hilarieUSO . Reasurbacked all. the 10Y
t s in beam haa4 and n it= further reflect40, and let Posh and Mee go at it* I noticed Oas
ion "sea that this wasn't. trable,,,aed 11040
4_000 made of rihOt graaa• It Whited
_ like4kimall maChette
oPtIOSSIX nenXtatand ,hervi and let 000h get
possibly killed or 1 - canX0 la in Without a knife and gong. :.',#ees so -I could diettsoehim
eahath 2 toes at es and SOO 4001(1,40M out of theca. $01:„Vgat. at her and he s vaina this
knife at le and I hit the wind come 40.04, ttat.awints ritittRed it 404 he came at me
again with it Audi' put av hands up.entheeimotd $104 you want some Of this?" ate swan*
it at is hard again. I slipped it end bump n401,0 behind: bete and Panelled him in the
against he taraa4 the Math over Weed and Lost his faatieS* &ARP was so hype that he
just Sated just 2 get at hip which wee respected. The cops Came and we all broke it
up. Pooh was hit in the ate and T wet 1.maY that not onus 4Ai pooh back up or tun! Ream
will Oat hall you that, . hob stood hia Ot9404 like 4 tucking warrior but I was lia4 at
his hiatus* I told him not 2 01 4Y 60 gases. Soso did. swa y what Pooh was aaPP0/04 2
have dons and X don't but I'm 0 SOPOt et SO X gotta respect it! ?pa' want
in from the Yard' cause hi. arm .naP.Kotadiell and iiv ae*144.atitate0+ oat* the yard cleared
up a little, bit,! sew Hest and tease coming,2wards is and haAP had his tocitipple so
1 tali hut 2 get on point,. He e,. ran LIP and said "Shil*thiP.49alt ?Pt nothinsa with
/DU I Stay out of this!" and by the time X got date Of of the s toma ch maShins. I was on
AS° and 8"P was Wing hange r .h tinter and the 0014 came and locke d thew up* They
let me and r Sat in
that used 2 be with me and pooh named:Casa/ Not i a2 a taator n heater with Sae tedrose almost killed hint Newsy had 2- get life flighted out 2 a outside Otaleltal so they
Could save his Wei I went 2 thrumorniag. yerd the next morning suited and twitted by myself
tag M
at Opts
in IntPu
on' 2
k 346tIrtM)
The night before I left 2 go 2 SCI—Forest I had 2 give up all of my property so I was
in the cell with nothing and all I did was think all night. I thought about my homie Terrance who is like a brother to me. I remember when he took ma and brick 2 this club called .
The Mirage. This shit was a death trap but I knew elot of cats in the club so we was cool
but when we went 2 leave the car wouldn't start! Tyriek had . bagged a nice chick at the
deb too. My man Casino came and got us though. Terrance is a loyal ass nigga and I love
him 2 death! When I came down to court in 2001.and my man Geez and Boolie was locked up
down there,/ called Terrance and told him 2 coma see us. At first he wasn't cause he said
his cousin Jeff Ginyard had just'came home and needed him 2 take care of something but
Jeff was right there when he was talking 2 me and grabbed the phone and said "Rhonshawn
we ain't get a chinas 2 net but my little cousin talk real highly of you, We gone run
some errands and me,Pee Wee,Teriance.and my brother Joe Ho gone pull you,geezoind my other
cousin boolie out". I said "I heard aIot of good things about you too and I'll see you
when you get here". He gave ma the greeting and hung up,
About a hour later the guard caned : .Ay name for a visit. I went out and saw gees and
boons and hugged them. We went 2 our visit and Pee Wee was like "Youngin!".end gave me
e hug . I hugged Terrance and Joe Ho and Terrance introduced me to Jeff. Jeff had a beard
and was ripped up like a action figure. I felt his energy immediatel y . We sat down and
Jeff said "So you the Rhoashaws everybody talking about.huh? I heard nigges ain't playing
fair and my cousin told ma that a couple cats that I used 2 have love for went against
the grain since I been gone so I know what I'm up against. How ya' situation looking?".
I said "I can't get these niggas 2 keep they mouths shut. It's like I'm asking for too
much", Jeff laughed and said "I'm sure you heard about what I was in2 back in the day
and out of all of the standing up 1 did for niggas I wasn't even worth a kite and flicks.
I was just another story for these /degas 2 tell. Fee Woe said he gone get at the boyl
Mark for you. I never really dealt with them cats like thataig me?". I said "As long
as mainman keep everything on the street I'm good. He even sent tamarra at me 2 tell me
that me and him can squash it and give the case 2 tyriek". Jeff said "Jermaine sister
Miura?". I said "Yeah". Jeff said "Damn,and this chick just asked me 2 marry her". I
said "See if you can tell her 2 tell dude 2 fall back". He said "I got it. Let me holler
at Boolie real quick,' ain't seen him in years,plus Terrance got some rap 4 you. I'm on
that and it was a pleasure meeting you'. I said "Likewise" and he gave me the greeting
and went and hollered at &gate.
Terrance said "Yeah,' told my folks that you was like one of the only niggas out here
that Me and casino fucked with like that and that I could trust. He know I don't be coming
to visit no nigga in jail so when he saw that he knew you had 2 be legit". Terrance asked
how my situation Was looking and I let him know. Pee Wee came over and sat behind us after
he spoke with gees and said "I was with Reese Bowling and he asked how you was doing".
I said "Tell Reese I send my love and I'm rumbling!". Pee Wee smiled and said "I got you
youngire. We Kicked it for a couple more minutes and Joe Ho came over and said "I told
my brother that he would've loved to had a young Alma like you out here with'em. How
these crackers playing with you?". I said "They ain't playing O.G. They trying to go for
the death penalty but my flame 1s . 2 eterqal 2 kill so I'm fighting! They say die but I'm
screaming Live so I guess we at a mezican standoff!". Pee Wee and Joe Ho laughed and Pee
Wee said "Damn younginj miss ya' crazy ass! Them niggss around the way happy as shit
you in here! Kippy Ky be telling them niggas inamellempeemmirms that it's gone be
lock in headcount when his youngin Om home" and we all started laught0S. / said "Tell
my oldhead Kip that I send my love l". Pee Wee said "I got you youngint, We talked for
few more minutes end then the visit was over. We all hugged and Jeff said 111 got that
just stay in touch with Pee Wee". I said "Good Looking!",and we all left the visiting
room and me,geee.and boolie went back 2 get ready 2 go 2 our blocks.
When we got in the hallway,Boolie said "Damn mann ain't wanne see you i4 here, Me and
Geez was just talking about you. I wanted 2 tell you that that was my bad when we rumbled
on the streets when we was home. I was out of pocket!' Bootie was referring 2 the year
2000 when he was in a halfway house and me and tyriek had the . etrioe on lock. Boolie wanted
2 get all of the sales and at the time my little brother la00/(44***nrfor us and Boolie
tried 2 strongarm Lou and take his sales by telling lou thiM rhtahaehreekAown, Lou
didn't know Boolie so he came and got me. I said "Boolie what's up min?". He Said "This
aigga gotta break down. I'm out here now.fuck that!". I said "Boolie,he with masks don't
gotta break down with nobody he don't wanna break down with". Boolie got mad and got in
g ii•orelktod
my face and my temper flared and #40 him with a quick left hook. He stumbled back
and said that we gotta rumble. .Geeni0Ol out there and said "fake it in the driveway".
When we got 2 the driveWaY.Oodieibugeyond hatemore came and watched it. Boolis is a south
pew so I knew to just keep my left foot outside of his right foot and smother that whole
40He couldn't get none of his punches off on me and got frustrated and just started rushing
in at me but I slipped all of his punches. I noticed that he was high and drunk so I told
him we'll rumble when he sober ovals*. I got love 4 him-and I'm not doing him like that
in front of people. Gent agreed cause Boats wasn't himielf. Now don't get me wrong.had
Bootie been sober this fight would've went a whole other direction cause Boolie could
fight his ass offj:So I knew exactly what he was talking about when he mentioned that
fiat. I told hilt it was tool and he said "I also wanted to tell you good looking out
on not letting Phil and sheek roll on me at Jaguar's". I told him "I know you would've
did the same for me".
He was referring to a situation that happened in the year 2000 also. Pam brother Phil
had a hale named Shack that got in a argument with Boone at Jaguar's ald:Y -didn't like
shook, and told Bootie 2 let me rumble him 'cause Boolie was drunk again. Sheeieesed 2 try
2 cut in2 me and ask mi shit like what hand do I hit the hardest with cause Phil told
his about when I hit the oldheiolwith that hook and put him on his ass i but 2 me Shook
was a sucks and I was waiting 4, hiin 2 get out of pocket and the opportunity had arised
but Bootie wouldn't get out of the - way and I understood it so I fell back. Boolie was
lot himself until r walked in the club and Phil and Sheet was gonna roll on him. Boolie
sad Shook came qppoUle and Phil had him lined up.I'm not gone front. Bootie Wasn't Oven
04 point but I aSie
j - and stopped Phil and said 2 let sheek rumble him. Wahl./ fell
beak and they rumbled. Boolie dog in Shock ass! Then the scenery ain't look right so I
poilid Balie out of the crowd and took him across the street 2 the bus depot. Phil and
Shack not 0611 the eve and Boolie'emid "Good looking man but that nigga Phil gotta give
me s rumble for tryna stroll me n . I , seid "While you rumble PhiLl'aime fuck Shack up" and
we went down to the ave and Phil.Sheek.Geszond some other Cats was gambling. .Boolie walked
up 2 Phil and stole him and Phil stumbled beck and admit fell. Boolie put his hands up
and said "Yell niggas tried 2 stroll ** * let's get it". Shook tried 2 get in it and I took
my jacket off and said "What's up Shack? Me and You".end he said "You ain't got nothing
2 do with this". Phil saw that. I was g oing et Shook and said "Rhonshawnothis nigge just
stole mitlfl . I said "Boolie from the end! I don't know this nine! If you and Boolie romblidg.I ain't letting yell stroll him. He and Sheek can rumble. What's up Shenk?". He fell
back and Phi/ vent 2 his car and him and Shook left ;gather. Bootie then snapped on Gees
and was like "You was gone let them Aiwa stroll me?". Gest said "I ain't know -what the
Luck was going on! That shit happened to farit!".and I believed Gee: wouldn't have let
it go down like that. I grabbed Bootie and we left. While me and Boo/le was talking about
all of this shit in the hallAllez turned 2 Boolie and said "I can't believe you thought
I would've let them get out an you. Phi/ my mao,wa come up 2gether but I wouldn't have
let yell go at it cause we all squad".
Now Honestly spesking.I fucks with Phil and I got love for him like crazy! Add that
2 the fact that his sister Pam is my fucking heart end I'll jump in a cage with a lion
about her! But once Philused 2 get mad he used 2 forget about his squad if they went
at it with e outsider that he brought around that he gat love for. Instead of him squashing
shit b4 it got physical.he would fuel it and take the outsiders side and I used 2 hate
that shit. Then I finds out that this nigge Sheek was mistreating Pam and I reall y was
hot! I wished Pam would've told me that shit when I was on the street so I could've showed
her how soft this nine really was. I would've never let no nigga disrespect or put they
hands on Pam end I'm on the streets! NEVER! I thought about all of that shit that night
and then the next day I got woke up at 4am in the morning and put on a van for transfer,
&OSA as soon
0, 0
6440- and my name going ar ound.
se't in the
rs b4 security c
locked me lip-anA.PlAt40,01
Cleat si
Stet .ts
was there 2. Alger: being to the
the ittl.eSO4nd saw me
and and
2 lock me 42001 -00 0 40 A
off or prisoners th e. _
0010 Mee 2 1440 , 000ikkelle7e.4-WeeAc 2 Of O. ft
b4 they- could lac is out. Tke .***1;#11k AW,...!W:PTP1
ee retie tism(PI and
they let 04 Asek. out 1A2 PORAlitkOW.ILitt 1,5. on C-Blo ck
pi so I was !cool because
as the guards
I was on thelle0O4AOh 011421...00.1/44rAWIt4r,rhe_thlk
2°4°4 out that he was °Y brother it. was
own little
things that I hid -2theck a few garde about on 001404
after we geecAclefir-en40*tending that I Wilk men end not land theft rats or one of them muthas that's going
2 lay dome 4 them then sretYthing.-ess,60l.
saw my little brother doonf 000.011 of these yemrs. and it felt good. I didn't realties
how much I missed him until I seflAlfiAll Person. He sell-Sheho ad of the law library and
ran the legal legislation at that jail! 1 wits so proud of him because I remember when
he betel/ *new Anything about. the 1. .0 and I used 4 teach him eferlthing. I had 2 *dell
that my little bretheriloney and Cheep had grown up. I remember when donny t nor champ had
any 'kcal -heir-le4Akow they bad beards. Me and 4040 used 2 erica alt the fucking tile!
I was reckless and . chm0 -used i2 . krttese ell 2 fisefels that situation and 2 °1°4 2 just
00 out and :than would Jost•000:thercend shake bik,heat and say "You tirin g me 11
but you be fierieling we the 601h.e0X°.:IoTeake . ma tters worstotince
hill4eao. I love
the administration was scared 2-delthiof es and din't !nee* , ; go on tilt and start 00014141418 110001 elleXhitheY made it where as any bleug- 1 got Iliefeft .2 ..thOY bad 2 more WillSeet
°Champ Talley With mateesuell be lles the only one who poq14 call me down and that Sold
listen 2:besides my brother flognfvMy other Issi X1 there was John "4.00" Alffrendsr;Sebeels
der "K.A4 Chine,Don0 "Seedde.4**1;;00 his brother fins from pittiburgh. I used 2.go
beck and lorthl the botoat -thiciffil beefless Of 0 teeing. My family Kendall Harris
used 2 grind me up about letting theee guards get 2-as i00t YI Jes t couldn't take the way
I got 2 601,
due 2 my brothartonoy1c ha
they ess42 try..l ! tolk keg.
The-statda4rt:thet . Jail erre sou* 2 talking diareePO4011 f 2 prisoners and then
try 2 -threaten you with the hole when You checked them, that they Just thought that any
and eriffhedr was going 2-110.4t44A• X 9447 .4kiksit *4 'WOO* there °4-4°°° whi°4'447 '°'° rdosed on wOmeltdreiwiind my laea'ainiehiw•got thrown in the pile as tr ying 2 monopolise
the whole drug trade 'there at 0a14404"lieh pooh pooh
Ors brother Malcolm /1"
from siluth 44/ 11W 1100010 of lovodijotoo*O's background an
sot us opflirst.440t iosso my cell- indelleff-ehef 0440:110. *04 got me in thelulle.e
guard went in ,0F,#!1:#0-,plonte4 a knife' to my , c0111 :They put nail/1'410 helot:under investigation 4'4 than :444"1°4 on res t ricted ;141#0001 list without oleritsaptiSecorititsPt,
trying 2 talk 2 .mirikhOpekthat rioild say something incriminating about cuilcolm or
pooh poottliks the rest of their fete -lose and when ther'000 .: that they couldn't get nothing
out of me it made:them01okt
Jack, kbA
I Was in eY tell in the hole at XI —Forest and I was just thinking that their are only
a few good men that you come across in thimworld that are true family. 2 be a standup,
honorable,trustworthy,man of integrity and character these days is a rare and almost extinct trait. I laid back on my bunk and I thought about my dear family Carmen. Yes,family!
Carmen is the itallan guy that I met in the juvenile facility called J.J.C. I ran back
1n2 carmen in the year 1996 when I was down south, philly visiting my little brother Donny.
Me-end Donny were on our way to 5th and mifflin. Donny was selling weed at this time and
he was looking for a stronger connect because the connect he had wasn't supplying him
with what. he needed. He kept running out. We ran in2 Carmen as he was getting in his car.
I-sew him b4 he saw me. I called out to him and he turned around and saw it was me and
said "And the forecast said slightly sunn y with e thence of rain",using the slogan we
used 2 use when we were younger when we spotted trouble and I laughed and walked up 2
htm and hugged him. I felt his gun hit me as I embraced hi!. I introduced him 2 Donny.
Carmen shook Denny's hand and said 71 hope this guy ain't :a bad influence On youseand
Denny just laughed and said "Nee,he good". carmen smiled and, imid "I didn't Think we'd
run in2 each other again Rhonshawn. The last time we saw each other we were Istd in
a room fighting for the clothes on our beck,huh? Some story! Well,what bringriabuth
I pulled Carmen to the side and said "My brother lives down here with my mom and he
got a little weed thing going on but the guy he's dealing with is charging him sky high
prices for garbage and he be running out all of the time". Carmen said "That's ya' blood
brother?". I said "Yeah". He said "Tell him 2 come talk 2 me and give us some privacy
so I Can see how he conducts business without you". I said "Alright",and told Donny 2
go talk with Carmen and I gave donny a smile 2 let him know that everything was cool.
So they went to the side and talked and after a couple minutes I saw my brother hand Carmen
some money and Carmen reach in the backseat of his car and pass Donny hplastic grocery
bag, Donny tucked it in his coat and shook Carmen's hand again and walked back over to
me and said "Thanks Shawn". Carmen closed his car door and walked up 2 me smiling and
said "I had a better chance negotiating a piece of steak out of a pitbull's mouth then
with this guy!",and we all laughed. Carmen said that be had to go but gave me a number
2 get in contact with him with and told Donny 2 feel free 2 use it too.
I asked Donny what happened and he said "Carmen asked him how much weed he was pumping
and he told him a couple ounces and carmen told him that he had a couple ounces in his
car that he had just gotten from somebody and told Donny that on the strength of me being
his brother 2 just give him $100 for everything". I asked "just $100?". He said "Yeah.just
$100". I waited until we got in the house and I said "Donny,crack that bag open end see
what's in it real quick". Donny was like "I'll do it later Shawn". I said "Slick Damon,
trust me on this. Do it now!". Donny cracked it open and said "Oh shit! Shawn It's fucking
two pounds in here!". I knew Carmen too well and his thing was always loyalty and trust
aid this was a test,not Just 4 my little brother but 4 me as well. I told Denny 2 pass
me the cordless phone and I said "I want you 2 call Carmen and let him know that he gave
you more then what you paid for and .ask him what he wants you 2 do with the rest of the
ingredients he gave you". He called Carmen and tad him exactly what I said to tell him
end Carmen said "Put ya' brother on the phone". I got the phone and said "Carm,what's
up?". He said "Yeah,that's ya little brother alright. I like him. Tell him that everything
in the hag is his and from now on that's what his $100 will get him with me",and hung
up, I smiled cause Carmen never changed. I told Denny and he was happy as hell! He started
killing'em on the weed tip down south philly. As a matter of fact,it was a weed crib on
5th street ran by this Jamaican cat named superman and due to Donny's weed being more
potent,he began buying off of my brother.
The last time that I saw Carmen was in the year 2000 when I was down graterford prison.
I had just came back from getting my legal mail and I was in the hallway walking back
to my block and I heard someone yell "Rhonshawn!". I turned around and it was Carmen.
He still looked the same except for a few additional pounds added 2 his frame. I walked
up 2 him and hugged him tight. He told me that he had gotten locked up for handling somebusiness for his uncle and the melt thing he knows he was getting picked up for an attempted, murder on some guy. The guy testified and had got him a 15-30 year sentence but after
speaking with his uncle the guy realized that he made a mistake and got with his lawyer
to clear things up and now he's down on an evidentiary hearing and should be out on bail
soon. He then added "You know they say all us Italians look elike",and winked at me. I
had let Carmen know that my &mily on my mothers' side were all from the seaport side
of Rules and had shown him a picture of my grandmother who was white so I knew what the
wink was about.
He asked me what my situation was and I let him know that I had been charged with a
double homicide and an attempt. I told him I don't really need help on the attempt and
one of the homicides because I'm in contact with the people involved with that but this
homicide in north philly could get me the death penalty and I don't even know who this
cat is that made this statement against me. This cat is lying!". Carman said "Let me see
thee 's:id took the statement out of my hand and read it. He took a long look, at the name
and address and said "I know that section of north philly. Look I'll be rolling up out
of here soon and I want you 2 give me ya' state number so I can keep in contact with you".
I tore my name and number that was on my legal envelope off. and gave it to him. He said
"I gotta go Rhonshawn. It was nice running 1n2 you. in touch",and hugged me. I
wont beck 2 My block. I went to my preliminary hearing and the guy showed up and testified
that he saw me kill. someone at point.01ank range end that he knew me from being around
that neighborhood which was a liei I didn't know him or this tat that got killed! The
judge held it over for trial. A few weeks later Carmen got out on bail and electric monitor
until his trial.
I got sent back up 2 greens county and in 2001 I went down 2 the county for trial for
• the homicide. I was waiting in the holding pen for the sheriff to come and get me for
courtand nobody came to get ma. At the last minutoothe sheriff came and got me and said
"Today's ya" lucky day. They can't find the guy who's testifying against you", I smiled
and went in front of judge Fete Rogers and he said "Apparently the guy who's supposed
to be testifying for the commonwealth is missingoso we're going to postpone this trial
until we find out where this guy is at so we can proceed ! I brought you ap dhere to formally
convey to you what's going on". I said "thank you judge-Rogereoand was eloWidgi back to
ound and Judge Rogers
the county. 1 went three more times and the witness was nowhere Z,
2 present a
said that until the commonwealth came up with some other type
prima facie case against me for these charges,then he was dismissing all charges against
me without prejudice due to the law concerning the charges against me and their is no
statute of limitations for these charges. I thanked the judge and went back to the county.
That was the last time I ever saw "My Family" Carmen.
I sat beck in my cell and I realised that the days of honorable men and standup tough
guys are gona. DMX once said "Crooks lookout for crooks" but those days are gone * The
real men are the minority now and the rats and suckas make up the majority. Everything
that was once abnormal is normal now and everything that was once normal is abnormal now.?
If you "DON"T" tell on ye' homieauck his Wool: pave him 4 deadotrick him out of his , life,
or_betray him in some kind of way,then you get looked at as being the sucka. I be-listening
relot of the young cats coming through here now and all they talking about is how they
Lucked they homis babymom or his wifey,how they set him upohow they told on him b4 he
Sot 2 tell on he ran in his man spot and stole: his safe and tied his family up,and
they talk about this like it's the most popular thing 2 talk about, How can a lion win
when he's surrounded by hyena that don't give a fuck about nothing? These young cats
don't give a fuck about who you killedowho you stabbed,who you shot,how much money you
gOtiif you get out Of line they pushing yet' shit back-Point Blank!!! You betterget right
or get left quick with these young wolves. These young waives hunt in packs and they set
everything off of the bone!
AlOt often are mitering and growing up and becoming better fathers and memmftmed I'm proud of them. Hy little cousin Clinton "Boobies Robinsenomy godbrother Lyle "40 CO"
Little now known as minister Hafaiatioand Donald "Don Doi" Outliwojest 2 name a few. These
men who were once wild.rockleas bens have matured in2 better fathers and sons! The y once
destroyed their communities and now they are fighting 2 . rebuild them. I command them on
their change and hope that more of our youth experience that transformation, I thought
about slot of these things while in this hole and then / understood why these peoplehated
me so much. They are so used 2 breaking the spirit of black:len and finding inventive ways
2 kill them or ways to get us 2 turn on each other but now they are witnessing that none
of their tricks worked on me and they never will so they can keep on coming cause I'm
never breakingor falling 4 any of their traps!
, While
IA< k&ts4
I was in the hole at $0;71TOPOPt_T-400_11iPtA4,444,00kinfl-ahent air time at this
itti*On and like lit oldkood Nye Henry told nop!Ion . non sop* last here Shi g A they gone set
tra up..00 they don't like guys like you in they population that's not sonsia' rat or let
down Seem". It's crazy because as I sac back In my cell and played befit,* fen events
that happened at that prison,! shouldn't even be surp tiO*J . temember-when I first got
moved to 0—Block. A sergeant had went in ay cell and thtaS'atl:patiers that I had used to
toret my back window in the trash. I was so fucking mad304t'I couldn't even think straight
when I got to my cell. Mt l i ttle H brOthet Vincent "Champ"YTolley was on the same block with
me from
in and they did this bowie, he Smyth, only one that Could calm me down and
/Fi tting MY foot in those 44 nC4P. o 0O; I Put MY workout gloves on and stepped outside of
ai eon and- *eked my youpgbotij*ttlo Rico from Pittsburgh "Who was in 10 cell?",and he
said "The sere did socurityolgoota01 the bott0...tier".4-01.0 from little Rico and went
right to the sergeant that - wealf101desk. / said alt.0010S4 in my cell and threw my
papers that I had in m y doitr-la„,10.r4roah lro as sai0 ,11404k4w.YleCtOtI H Abedk and the
aSiOt was walking around and—",! cut
Off and said "411 tIki i 4 .011ft: fu kt4i th Ye ll and
I'm not one of thei***140S thigeia/I4ot shook up! Staltia.t`ntk Out Oralptalif Don't
tenth my shit!".end I itaItattintar .witb my ftsthilloOnt waiting for h*m- --tiitry to hit
that button or flinch wtgasi. ap y r .,. q9.4.4 ,. T e . hrog : hisja tkias face and said "Don't touch
my foetus* shit! We understood?", SO said "Ielh jacksOnints -undetetood". I turned around
and lent in my till and loOkot;:nz, door; koh4o4 Moo. -
-I know that this was anow j eAl*tOWSI 0 07 had about Oi*eg 'wPAMIPe
ro)lo d I : sow that
be damned if I was
the tedstritt oft*. oats wastistint the fuck down and 'rook an SOOe let them includeme in this circle of cowards! Fuck t hat! 11 11 do MY time in the hole
before .I let One of theme pink ass guards treat me like I'm anything ions that amen. I
int: tn,n y 6111 and tried to calm Myself down. no soon soinutictio brother Champ teas on
the block they ran right to him to tot him to calm me down, I swear if Champ ween't. at
that Jai l I would've had another guard assault. Champ ca.e and shook his head tenon.
know that I'M hotheaded and ha's going 2 have 2 argue with me so he cats and argued with
Oa Until I usissW4Own and I fell back.
'Things was going smooth for me until about six months later I was in the chow ball with
my foxily John "Strap" Alexander who also used to have to argue with me 2 calm me down.
Strap is my fucking heart end he rides with me regardless of if I'm ri ght or wrong but
when we stet by ourselves . he'll let me know that I was out of pocket. Scrap is not a yes
MOO And that's what I love about Maas real and if he care about you he not gone just
tell you whet you want 2 hoar. Solil'and Surat is in the chow hall and this big ass c/o
chick is standing all over cats in the chow hall and totting in their face talkin g crazy....
2' them and telling them 2 got out of the chow halt. Somehow she ends up at our table and
talks reckless to se while standing over my shoulder. Scrap ignored her but t went on tilt!
I felt like she was trying to use her sise.colorsand authority to intimidate us. I ant
'W end said "Bitch bock the fuck up off of me before I Oath a hole through te' fucking
focal". Strap just shook his heed and got up. Sbe looked at her co-worker and he looked
**tat her confused. I said "I don't give a fuck *boot him neither! Bitch giro me some
space when I's eating!". She froze up and you could see the fear in her face. Scrap grabbed
My tom and said "Shit come on manors out". I Out ay trot up and went back to the block.
These guards was so fucking scary that they waited until BOSpin to come and get me and
104 me op and this incident h a PPotod at 4256pm. I went to the dol. and I got (60) days
for it. The security team got scared cause the lest time , I got into an argument with
sherd in the cafeteria it lead to a riot and ten guards quitting the Dept. of Corrections,
and me and ay tooted* mede the nets end the elestfield County newspapers. I let them know
to just teach their guardshow 2 address men like asit and towards like cowards.and I told
thee that ms and the female 4,0 WOO cool as long as she watched her mouth. I got out and
the female c/o came and talked to me and behind the hard exterior she was down to earth
and she respects real men and her and my little brother Champ was cool.. I'm not (gonna liseit
wasn't a female that worked at that lei/ that d idn' t love Champ. He ran that jail bands
down! He did' whet. be wanted at that spot and any *pet that you put him in. Where I was
bath...led and reeklisidly little brothers Cheep end Danny was *ors calculated and diplomatist
with 00,144 * I only saw one way but I was slowly beaming diplonuttit'bectust-Champ was
breaking Me down. I couldn't be reckless cause it would 'effect him and Donny so I started
thinking slot more. It was hard but after MOON time I got
The only thing I couldn't let , , was if somebody did eiernethieS out Of PoOhat or Alerts
*PE W Moog or BoanY* Tble Iwent on tAlt,444,4l t MY tact wentout of the d ant* d
, fi X in S something but tucked. it attend Cheap was mad
ion happened whet T thought T Wen
sun ha ll at mos This not noted R AS towod , Ch OMP A910 money and was P ' ling San s . Cluttli'
(Met tell me because belima.hon X was OOPS 2- realt. taiwaitI found out through Mik
this pouts' reamed Weeny. So I slid up on 10 and r asked him if he owed Champ some soar
and he said he did. Red was known to , play games With cats money and try to burn them and
he definitely inset getting that off In a jail I'm in with my little brother * Now don't
get me wrOna tChs0-is a knockout artist and can handle himself vei y welliebUt that's my
littlo brother and I'. overprotective of him and Denary. I *skid Rod did he kiOu that Chomp
was my brother and he said "Shilia knew yell was close but r Ain't knew that ia/1 was family
but "know now". I said "Well hOilitoS
. t you know Rodot fiel,inp , though in all fairness I
shoaled Let you know how I OParetnao.We can have a clemOnelerstandtng of how I do thine/
Comes to MY family. For t eeta40 410 f you PUY S e4a44.1th-Chestea None' that You
Owe his,I'll takirthet ten. that' s 14Staa *Int them beside fa' leg emt-haSt",;You into
a comeond hopefully by the time POC eek tut of ye * coma r i ll Just be taittht out of the
hole and if I land in a jail that you are in when I got out of the hole thin I'll do it
egainjbocauma when it cameo to* family I'don't give a tuck about nobody else! So go get
NY brother money before I forget he Saw s You some time Wit* it and just fuck you up now!
Go get it you pussy moth* fackai r *Und he went and borrowed :what he owed my brother and
told is to let Champ know that , h040t,his donor when he tomes on the black.
How.he got Choi* money but because of who I em he west straight to the cops and told
everything! LockilY.the cops he went to respected Champ and knew that if they put Champ
in the hole then they tightest well get the helicopter reedy to land in the yard because
Rod was on his way to I.C.T.,and duty knew that if they locked me up and they let we bath
out the same thing would happen. So the est pulled me to the side and said "Jackson,Red
lot Talley's you can pull up off of him now. The gu y s neared and be Just wants
this to be over with. Ill talk to talley when he comes in*. I just walked off on him mad
as hall and mot to my tell and started Packing up m y property 48080 Red ems out of here
for this rat ass Mitt Champ came on the block and after they talked to him he cam* right
to me and We started arguing. He said "Damn maul I ain't vent you to get in that shit!
I was Ping another routs with it and You just fucked everything up nowt". After he broke
down what We was doing it all made sense and t realised that I had tucked up. I said *Damn
little bro l ,I apologise. I just didn't want nom of these pussies to think that they could
J u n do some snake shit and get away with it while I'm hers, I love you and Donny and you
know bow I get when it comes to Yell". Champ smiled and said "You be giving de headaches
meet I know you Mese well but sometimes you just sotto let me and Donny solve our own problemeswe grown now Rhonshawn". I thought about it and said "You right mans .and I hugged
my little brother Cheep.
Another person who is my family was on the block with me too. His name is Schneider %Lie
Chine* 8.1. is My fucking heart too and he's one of the most calculated dangerous maths
foam* that I been around. When it comes to this war shit,he like my man Reatt said "lie
takes this war shit dAsPly.caus e he done seen too many reel players fall to list these bitch
o titis btuteme, 8.1. was my voice of reasoning because he always gave me a different perspective when I got tunnel vision.' Sven though he was Taun ton then moshe was fat beyond
his years duo to what he had been through in life and all of his experiences. 8,1 was from
Fletbushairooklyn but he came to Obtll Y a nd Put his thinit' down and went to war with *lot
of major cats in my city. He was young but he had seen clot and did slot. Ho came to Jail
young and heartless and to this day cats still talk about the work that he put in on the
streets and in these jails. Ba g s not s sociable cat and you can't cut into him either.
If he not feeling you he gone let you knoboto get awe, from him but if he fucks with you
then he'll give you the start off of his both. He's loyal and dependable to a fault. He
tuner crossed me and he never over gets petty and he hares n ett y nigg ss to Two around him.
Hither we all in or we all out. I Love him because be real to the fullest. As a matter
of feet that's what I call him "DX, to the fullest!". I trust him with my life and r trust
his wind and his Judgement. If he gives me advice I take heed to it "To the -folioed".
I had a nice support team at this Jail with me but due to this jail bidet defined the
way that it was I knee that we wasn't saint to lest long. I also met a youngin there from
pittsborgh that I Just got tight with is soon es we met. Its name is Donny "Scuddy" Jones.
He gat the same Mime memo as my Inds brother Denny and they are both gemint's and Chem,
Is a gelded. I used 2 have little SCuddy with me everyday! This little nits& pet on for
This 1
• et jacksw
#40. younvosscholLALheirtstrAtmo,Afiww . He was Omit* on SO
and 2 used to have to CIO* and VOW* with-thie- lil,. nigge to Wm. him down! He had alot
of women too. We used to OW okthe,Ohone with th inhelLlogetlittl* Seuddy like a little
brother and he got a brothOrAtomed fines that rho with real hrnity tees Scuddy is list:
cockles and Wild but he loyal as hell end if he tucks 4040 he all the way in with
70e. When I got locked Up for invisttestion.olet of . POotileYthat cat* to the hole told me
that Scoddy was 110 as hell and that shit Nicked his bid op. Thot'i'sy'llttto heart and
we used to stay together arguing and everything. Rverytitiehe vault go at *hop or one
of them bitch asi - Migges'in:thst jail.they Would rue !,0_00 or his brother fangsto calm
him down, Sometimes fens* 0*-10:44 up with him that , m*04140011".* *Don't come to selgo
tell Shiewor fangs would seeievand . be tike "Shiease with this sistsisms and at's°
sod Scuddy would start sailing and
shit to us.Iiit
"thatiockod me up.he was One
of the first peOple that - 1 thought about Caw* I know he gatior lithnrt c ond,1 knew that
they wouldn't 1st meout dee -to . IY bothering* and these rote contlithIeWtelling security that they • fiettor they lifewith 00 in the Jail.
elot of Poona was oohing back end forth to the hole itirlet me **OkteittOit people and
letting m4 know what was gitipotwout there. It's cratAllegaegethey'didnt even respect
!O n o I couldn't believe how much aa*ar these Jeilhouse 00000.0. sonority toss really
wanted me and my big broth** , Malcolm out of the web Somebody had gave them a story about
• Ong war going on In the Jot enCtne,tendell,1411 c, oltiond Pooh St& name was at the ton
of the list. They even wept as fart to set **Onto o0 and try 110 get theieta. aive op information on me and when they wouldn't cooperate the y Out them is the hole * Security had Met
t roPort this I had joined forces with the (215) gang end Put them on my pa y roll and had
thee covering out:lilts for me,II4J1liteally 1000 up s4004:frtend of mines mead Kevin
*issue Billingsley and asked hit if he had any information on se and because he was
St, they tried to use the rta0 card end that didn't Work* SO then they *aid that beaus.
be had &Lot of influence with the White prisoners around the state and they had him on
tape talking to *Es couple Oissalthoy said that me and him oat merged together and he
was on my payroll, When he denied that and Wouldn't lie on me PO Nap then set ma amewillbw
uPithey illegally put him back on the **striated release list after he had just did 14
Years on it and got off!
Ojos after i thsy put mattacata OA the Restricted Retest* List without a mAsconduatpthey
pates on it without a misconduct or criminal chirps Wog praised against me. The y felt
some type of way about e white prisoner d ying in their jell and they tried to pin the body
an es but I fought it and they were mod that they couldn't pin it on ma and illegally put
me on the restricted rattan list. The restricted release list(RIL) is onittintoPosod to
be the most violent prisoners in the state of Penns ylvania : thot have went thro ugh an
ffileortetige pro gram and failed it Or who have coOpleted . itbut continue to *how sire of
vishmas t ar for prisoners who are eanOite rishoor tang ential like running a gang or a
group that throats*s the security of the ttista you are tn. / was soldier one of this..
Tba USW Management Onit(SMU) is for the most violent prisoners in the state and I Corp..'
plowed It and I **plated my probation for me to 'toy in populations The y just couldn't
respect the fact that I won; through this progrien*ComPle te4 itland I cams out still a soft.
2 *over lost my fire and that shit didn't break so!
also taught myself civil Litwin* X started filing liteeetta against a couple state W.
8190$ 4 violating our civil sad constitutional rights. I was also twan g other prisoners
bow 2 file these lawsuits and grievances against the prisons and the administration hated
Oats So I knew What. 1 was Am against. While I was in the hole at SCI.Forostiths.securitY
time there was getting white Prisoners to caul/ate against me and 411 kinds of orbit*, stuff
but these prisoners ended up telling me the deals that the security toes was making with
oboe after they got to know ms and they helped me 2 expose all of the corruption that was
going on at this jail, r saw first heed just how dirty and arafty these pimple were and
they edit the nerve to call us criminals! While I was sitting on ay bunk Just replaying
bock slot of poet events in my head that had taken place in this prison.a guard ails on
my intercom and told os that I needed to get ready because I had an interview.
R. 444KS-6,0
The ususfff, captain interviewed m e and was 144*,kiii1004Rwi.01
-14 1106,Peob 00UNeed
malcolm eriOoetrelling .t4C40*, low in the jail 44k$4: :Ott that ,we're getting, , *say,
with uusethfuS PaeOthot- Siot *OPPWOcer444'iont Pui.qt.•OUt bee StgeS .2.10X411-Of.,us
Out if that JelLilhavulet igeONOPO tAbtealeefit7 eePteie ete-enothePli
and brought him 2 the wt. gad*: AiStiii4 0a and once they *int* :14ef;A41e011,
. 6f:1418.
sairdOlitin and Olentats knifOnOie neli‘llio•OnlictPinSittted about that
wheelie COO 2-thalibOla I ended uP****Oriat .0d-** *04:40 , it eed-1 got 2 pat him
on 41'44
thellit'014144,400Led:!***ilt400 heLdide,Chl*a•lheYended letting
of SBOOle.ea dr Pene,A4.POPOO*te e •Oftif iliaytiee000a dean, rani...tressed
out and mid at tha4eMee,11noOnsOrt,oenslayinitandl was
At thieHrstShei I-once
trusted that had gat in the bOdYeittt ee* eed - 100U0PWOO IttriS ***O 4
.: 40000 *lat.
Me. While I was to the hale itS0t4fOreat in4 brother- dia0.04'ehau0 mid* sure that
lawattaloa, / wrote noo4m:eitia04rvern sbUijiaa7-that
"-. holer Ind here it lot
"Never in your Lifetime
will Csinaouhter an entity as contagious as me
.10,ideumY)hatrt their lives a !nolothin is fightioat*Fte;43".4-onnder be free
My mind gollbtatiqtkOenenOus,:thoughts-,
Scientist have diagnose* mrminditatnas a disease
,. ,but:hava lyet4 comernIvith-a'sarii.,
ManyJ orarbare . tried . 2 walk in my eheUe
,onl y tencinabliOheir destined'fmtn POO' whae Aestithnock ed st their door
,'10411r*ealleed . thenthey, couldn't eat off of life's plate
was blessed with this carte
4.4:4oraint 2, carry it areindfakeflee
Inewing-that•this world could i naierlave me
- so I wouldlutre,2 welk,thinvith alone
But I was born with clairvoyance
complete with a 41/d heart that could never A tamed
Olently-Lwatobed as phony mopes and friends
p lettat.2 : t0e idveeeets . ef'14-ie this Best
Aiaehowl overcesa-everyobetaole
„ind- Oeverrenca , Aidj sake, friends with defeat
lOdiuse I asc end. of.:mylourney .
• *it like me woult frdison our feet
\ tirer regrettiegliherwe-Aid in life
• or'-what vs,11I B Atwood
2-dnle_the. next
! I understand that my demise -iinpOrm.
that will cams as natural AsSly-next-breeth
SO:Ii foughnhatt and vigorously
- fightint2 one day.,make it better
Knowing that :Oath...404 of my raise
my name will itarea/4:liveHootievie$4.4,
riot sent back.2 SCI-Albton on restricted release 00.:41Ageebei 34 2014 which in the seat'
day any brother mike's birthday. When I , got bate. 4 reached out 2 everybody and let them
know that I had touched down beak i t-4100.4Pete When I was at SCI-Forastythe funny uhtsi
about this is that my 0 4Ats4709 is fSSOYsPosn gIssY.014:10t that.00I4orest was
a jail 4 a dude-tilatime-fted that OPOI'llny*-fit.:theY-04
up and a 0040 *tenths•
later that's intently what happened. I had got in contact with a saa **ism that had
lied' on ma that were willing 2 take their statementsPOO l e ; Was anat . working on ay
case se tion1.4 set up out of jail. 42800e*,reeon theuthaettale Sergeant was on ay, mind
like tinny! It had been,yetrin gince than Seabed out 2 her and she was sad at me Siena
I did some corny shit some years gaga when me and her had a -argument andtid some chink
not •
I was dealing with cell her crib and argue with her and she never 4got about that.
I'm going 2 be honest in this bookend keep it 1002 with my readers, I was out
of pocket! had got some information from somebod y telling me that her brother had
Crossed me and instead of going 2 her with it asst.! went on tilt and responded 2 the
information improperly. This is one of the moments in my life that I wish that I could take
back, I know that alot of people on the streets that know me and Pam used 2 always see is
arguing with each other all of the time.but on some real shit,I been in love with Pamela
Sergeant every since I was eleven years old! I just never said anything 2 her or ever let
her know how I felt about her..Tes,I'm coming clean in this book and I know slot of my close
squad and my little brothers Donn y and Champ already know this but 2 everybody else it will
probably make since now on why me and her used 2 argue all of the time like we were a married
Mother thing that I would like 2 get off of my chest is the fact that Pam is the only
Inman thst I net asked 2 meal es on the streets. T es.I Prop osed :2 her! She never gave
mu on answer and we was supposed 2 talk about it but some other shit ha ppened, It's crazy
because b4 I got locked up me and her used 2 be around each other damn near everyday. I
trust her with my life and she
MY heart! So I J ust want 2 say 2 IT Pam that I apologize
from the bottom of my heart 4 ever hurting U babygirl. U mean the world 2 me and U are very
special 2 me. 0 are my "special gift" from GOD. Pamile,I would never...ter purposely hurt
or disrespect U and I need U 2 know that my apology is sincere, I love U girl and I'm sorry
and / hope that u accept my apology.On that note.I got soisthong 4 U that will hopefully
pdt a smile on that beautiful.flowless face of's a secret poem that I wrote 4 U
but never told you about cause I warded 2 surprise U Babygirl so here it is. It's ye' Poem
titled "Special Gift" because that's exactly what U are 2 ms. I love U girl!
"It's ye raw and uncut essence
that gives me OF-courage 2 speak
And just the thought of ye touch
gives me strength at times when I feel most weak
Gorgeous I look at your beauty
and I wonder how GOD could've been so skillful?
2 create those eyes.those lips,thet noso,and flawless skin
girl I adore everything U are without tryna be sinful
'Boy I listen 2 ya l voice
and I hear nature most enchanted Cain
but sweetheart 2 hear U laugh
14 rlive in a World - witout no pain,
And I'could never make U cry
or contemplate 2 hurt U
%caul* GOD blessed this world
on the day that yae mother gave birth 2 U
And 2 have a woman like U 4 my wife Pamela
Is nothing but a mere wish
Which is why I prey end hope that GOD will one day bless his child
with such a beautifulpipecial gift"...
I as thinking about Pam so holing hard that I had my bo gie track her down 4 me so I
could reach out 2 her myself. I knew that I was taking a risk because she is stubborn as
hell and when she's mad she really don't be having no rep 4 nobody..Dut when I wrote 2 her
and apologised 4 What I did she accepted my apology and wrote me back. Prior 2 Pam writing
me back,* brother Tyriek had sent me a picture of him and her at club "Onyx" and she was
looking like a goddess that down graded in2 a human being just 2 take a picture! I couldn't
believe how incredibly beautiful she still was. I was in my cell one day thinking about
her and I wrote this pees titled "Pamela" and I hope that U enjoy it! Here it is:
• ,
Q. 63Acito-0/0
"I mot U at a time in my life
my soul was tormented by internal pain
My aind and heart were constantly at war
because they were at odds with this evil game
f when
Just one look in2 ye' warm hazel eyes
convinced ma that mankind was not alone in this world
Beaus' only a GOD could concteve such beauty and perfection
then transfer it all in2 one little Black girl
I constantly tried my best 2 convey 2 U
all of the inexplicable Words thit my lips just wouldn't speak
But my mind constantly reminded me that
a girl lika U would never give her heart 2 a thug from the street
So I tried my best 2 conceal ell of my feelings
within the deepest chambers of My heart
As I stood beck silently and watched countless thieves
steal intricate parts of U b4 disappearing to the dark
And their were times when I really wished that I could take ye hand
2 guide U through this journey called life
But I was always emotionally struggling
bee& I had my own demons that I had 2 fight
So I apologize from
and in turn pushing
My life was just so
that I couldn't see
the heart 4 hutting U
U away
full of ugliness
some' beautiful as U ever wanting 2 stay
U vete always a constant reminder of everything good
from ye' angelic face all the war 2 ya' cinnamon breath
So I didn't know how 2 appreciate an angel of life
Becuz' I was 2 busy walking with the Angel of death
Not knowing that GOD had a different Plan 4 ma
despite how vehemently I ran 2werds my doom
Poverty and misery was- onta my onl utopia
Until I looked in ye eyes and saw a place where flowers bloom
.0 will never B able 2 see the beauty that I see
when I get 2 look at U through these human eyes •
&Omit' U R living proof thatshgels do walk this earth
and their still is hone 4 all of my ghetto queens 2 rise
So please 4give me 4 my ignorance Pamela
even though ye' last memories of se sere bad
Just know that 2 se it would've been an honor
2 have a creation from instdeof U •2 call me dad
But I gueis
and I wenn&
Benue now I
that U were
GOD had other plann 4 ni this time
thank fete 4 sending WI me twice
finally get the'o Ortunit 2 tell U
always'ohe of the beet *arts of my life"....
The poem was well reciered by pam which made ma feel good.becaose I honest!) felt bad
about what I did and 4 not showing her this side of me earlier. Needless 2 say I have
grown tremendously,both mentally end emotionally. I want 2 touch on dew things real quick
b4 I bring this 2 a close. First of all,I wan& salute all of the women that rideisupport,
and stand behind the men that ere trapped behind these walls. I don't know if you've been
told this but you are the reason that slot of men don't committ suicide or give up on
ever getting back 2 them streets. I love yall! I know it's hard sometimes when you meet
a man under these circumstances 'end you got everybody that you consider a friend or hail*
in ya' ear and their coming up with
million reasons on why
be happy with
man instead of listening 2 the
reasons that you are telling them why you would
be happy with him. I know that slot
women go through hell due 2 their relationship
with a man behind these walls so I just wanted 2 salute all of my strong women that use
their own minds,teke riskore not afraid
folIow their heart despite the consequences
that they may face,and are holding it down 4 their man against all'odds!
I also warms' salute all of my strong women that are locked up in prisons around the
world that are staying strong and resolute in their fight and resisting oppression. Women
like Amy Buckley and Natalie De Moya just 2 name a few. I salute WI! I also wanna apologize 2 the countless women that have stood by their man under these conditione and helped
2 nurse him through this hell only 2 have him come home and break every last promise that
he made 2 you in those letters.visits,and phone cells. Ladiespin any situation you have
the good and the bad and I just want you 2 know that I don't support any man lying 2 a
woman and misusing her feelings and emotions 4 his own personal giin. I have lost a Couple
here due 2 my stance on that. I don't associate myself with those type of men
because everytime a no good man behind these walls buttons of yall,then that's one less
woman that a real man who really needs a true woman
his corner will ever get 2 meet.
Only cowards lie 2 women or misrepresent themselves and they do it because theyknow that
the real person that they truly are
So ladies.I just want 2 say,Pleale &mit
let one of these pretenders fuck it up 4 the real contenders. I know it's painfulptime
consuming,and a waste of ye' time that you could've been Spending with a ean that would
appreciate you and have ye' beck just as much as you have his,but beep in wind that the
most beautifullest rainbows only come out after the storm. So don't give up babygirl•ust
weather the storm.
I love women with a passion! I love every detail about a woman and I love woman that
ya' Oind when you see
take the time out 2 pamper themselves 2 make sure that they
them, 2 me,veriety is the key and it says alot about a Woman when she can adapt 2 any
must say that Blackwoman U R the
situation that you put her in. I gotta be reel and
truth! I marvel at the way the Blackwoman tan eultitaskorun the a business.
take care of the kids,cater 2 her men t eake
; jure har'makehp is applied right,all at the
same time,and still be up early the next
2 make mire that breakfast is ready 4
the family b4 the kids go 2 school! History shown us that the Bleckwoman
been the baselMaiftrof this strugglepalways! Everybody Wants 2 talk about Nat Turner but
You wouldn't
is foull
S. 34(65E0
Shady wants 2 talk about his,Sife,ChariaTerzer ” sho , fla . thaope that
Net emotionally,
spiritually,fld physically etrpngOte:SlachwanatAA * IWO s be e n .* forte 2 be reckoned
withand SS sheen tine and tiOn'Ag#0.flen I dersthet When ' thelileCkman is 2 weak 2 take
Care of the featly she can step 011 - daZlete and :do what needs 2 - he done. Us as Blackman
are pot . holdies_uP 2'nuf;aTil Of the bargain though. We
are not even giving our women nothing 2. work vita.. All 10101hk 2 do Is sit around and play video galess,verbally degrade
her Saul* of her strength,Ohysically abuse her and try 2 intimidate her in2 staying
with us after she realises thiti shcitss do 'any herselp,we are constantly tearing her
000 instead of picking her'hade *And tentacles her crown on her head,we are insecure
and intimidated by her strength and he r inde pendence so We are doing everything in our
power 2 dim her light juatfoura can shimcs little brighter. We are murdering and raping
our women at an alarming rate and why?
Why do we hat e'rat' weelen,a0,0Uch Election but we appreciate and respect
, every other
teeniialten? Why Blackman? Don't you "hette Pint 0 0P. Their' was _
a time when the whitean thed - 2threicell y rape or beet - a b,' r
'ttweme n in2 subilflion just 2 have her. Their was
* time when the whitemes was Sihasa* . let Onions- find out that he had feelings 4 a Bleck.
or fathered children by her, Now we are re pfesentiokObsersamo t traits Blankest!!
are the *pat and murderers of our women. We are ashamed 2 le t Sainte know that we
mirfeeliggl.4 her women or have lathered children by them, 'Why Blackman? The whitetail
AO tint our Job *scam! treating our woken likethe queens that that arelthey're appreciating theat they're respecting thfl,providing a them,and protecting them. Mew could we let
WA happen Blackman? How could we steed bock and allow g rant other recalhenefit and e0107
our woolen more than we ere? Row Blackman? Now? Out women areso divinin g/red and disgusted
,a0 that she would rather find another flea 2 deal with rather then 2 deal with us,
don't p rovide . 4 our wflen l we are deadbeat dedsore don't protect them,we don't take
care ofout responeibilittes.and we don't give thee nothing 2 holier * ins so haw can We
led when we see them deal with a men of another race or a lame or sucks ,when we don't
*anything 2 offer her besides some half ass sex and bed credit and these ether We
firing her the world? Why is it that every other rice sees just how precious and
ant our Blacksomen are but us? Why Blackman? Why aren't we dying and killing 4 our
aren't we walking around vAlb our chalet poked out and our shoulders straight when
we are with a Nlankweresn i the semiT40 are when we're with A whitevoman? No other rate of
women alive has ever witnessed st ruggles that the Blackappan has survived-TRUE STORY!!!
On January 13.2016, I was watching the series called "Turned U p" about Christina Millian
and 'lilt. real bad when I saw how she had gotten. physically abused and started the " S t0PattaCW,zom app"2 stop abuse. 1 couldn't believe that our women really have 2 police themselves against us now. WOW! I looked at C hrist ina Millise and tho ug ht 2 myself "Who would
went "2 hurt her?". She's a sweetheart! What could she possibly do that would make you
that mad that you felt like physically abusing her use the way 2 respond 2 it? This woman
• barely gets mad or yeils, whe0 try* of men would want 2 hurt Or op press someone like that?
• the tray part about that ima WM those type of guys coma through here and they be getting
i eitortalamacked up,raped,and the women that these chumps was terrorizing don't get 2
sat how cowardly these sockes are when the y are in the presence of real men. After thee*
canards have been humiliated and disrespected in here,they go on the streets and find
, a wan that they can flat on g o that they can try 2 restore their manhood. Black Queen,!
Piet was" %swum that you're haantifula love Te tr ad 1 appreciate you bibygirll And
that 'll from the heart! On behalf of all of the *REAL MEN" in this struggle ' se thank and
appreciate everything that you do 4 us behind these walla and we value your dedication,
inieltband,as well As your unconditional love that you shoe us.
Illackwomen you are the Quee n. of the universe and don't let anybody trick you in2 thinking
that you're not! I'm not racist,I'm just i realist! Us as Blackmon have failed you Stackwoolen and we failed 2 protect you. The same way that ohttemen
were killing Blackman like
Emettt Till 4 looking at their uomen,we should- have been killing them A looking and raping
Derail! We should've set more examples and died 4 our Blankwomen! 2day the BIackwoman
doesn't even need us 4 anything besides pro-creation because eveytting else she can do
. on her own without us and that's a gift and a curse. Blackmen.please protect ya' essence
and protect our semen!' They are all that we got and don't jeopardise losing them 4 nothing!
Blackmon I also fleet' tell yell 2 stop hates so hard on each other. glankgumin you
can get fly mere done'2 gether then you can apart. I've witnessed what yell can do 2sether
and it's phenomenal!!! Blackwoman U are so beautiful and strong,but U are allowing yourselves
• 2 become distracted from the bigger Picture due 2 moneymmaterialismmend social status. As
Blackwomeo that are in a position 2 make A difference and leadminsteid of yall respecting
each others movements or business sensemyall are tearing each other down 4 superficial
reasons and allowing yourselves 2 become divided,seperatedmand conquered! These young slates
out here need you and your guidance but if yall are 2 busy . fighting amongst each ether,then
who can they turn 2? On February 2,2016,1 was watching "teal Housewives of Potomac" and
I felt so good when Karen,Giselle,and Charisse made up and put all of that pettiness 2 the
side. But my most memorable moment was when NeNe Leakes and Cynthia Bailey made Up. I'm
not gonna front,1 fucks with NeNe hard! NeNe is a general and if she with you it's 100%
and if she against U it's 100%, Those states made me smile and I loved the growth and
maturity that they showed * It made me feel like it just might be hope 4 us after all(smile).
.Bledicwomana want U 2 know that the world sees U and we respect your movementmjust try not
2 buy 2 many pairs of shoes and purses! LOL.
The next thing I wanna touch on is our Blackmen..I got 4 words 4 yall—"MAN THE FUCK UPI!".
Tall. are out there acting like pod:ries and bitches! Why is it that everytime I turn on the
television I gotta see yell weak moths fuckas complaining about what the Blackwoman ain't
doing right and using that 2 justify why your sorry worthless ass ain't fulfilling your
.obligations as a man by getting a job and bringing in some type of income,paying some bills,
or being a father 2 your kidaminstead of playing video games all day and waiting 4 her 2
get paid so your broke ass can leech off of her you sucks! How can U call yourself a fucking
man and all you do is depend on your woman 4 everything? You are her extra child that she
gotta cake care of or that extra bill that she has 2 pay! Don't U think she gets tired of
taking care of all of the houshold responsibilities,paying the bilismcooking,cleaning„going
work, and taking care of your worthless ass? Give the fucking woman a break you suckal
If U are one of those type of deadbeat ass suckas that I'm referring 2 in this book, then
go do me,your womenmand this world a favor and go kill yourself you fucking lame!
U are the primary reason why real men gotta go through all of this bullshit now with our women until we prove ourselves because a sucks like U just fucked her over! U are the reason
why real men gotta go through the hell of dealing with all of her insecurities and past
pain that pa sucka ass just put her through just 2 prove 2 her that we really love her and
we ain't you! Give our sistas a reason 2 start looking in our direction again by getting
up off of ya ass and doing something 2 show her that U are trying 2 be something of worth
instead of trying 2 get the highest score on playstation. Our sistas love us but they don't
respect us no more because we have allowed ourselves 2 become meaningless * We are killing
each other over nothing,we are killing and raping our own women at an alarming rateore don't
want 2 be good fatheraprole modelsmhusbandsmor teathersman4 we bring nothing 2 a relationship
except a bag and a few minutes of whiskey dick!
We are practically pushing our women in the arms of every ether race but ours because
every other race sees how s pecialmraremunique l important,and sui generismthat are women are
except us! Blackman,don't U know that if the BlackwoMan gives up on us then our whole species
will become extinct? WAKE THE FUCK DPW We gotta get it 2gether and we gotta start showing
not just the Blackwoman but ourselves that we can do much more besides kill each other at
an alarming rate..84 I gomI would like 2 tell my readers 2 get my comrade Andre "Soljah"
Jacobs book titled "A New Direction: Secrets From A Survivor". It has alot of good informationmpoetrymand it breaks down alot of our stories and gives U a deep insight on the struggle.
I would also like to recommend my big brother's book titled "A Tortured Soul" by Malcolm
A. Rowe. This book is also a must have because it gives U this strugglemBlack relationships,
prison lifemand the education of a once illiterate man who was once considered one of the
most coldhearted gangsters 2 walk the streets of Philadelphia, In closing,! want 2 say Black
people We are a phenomenal race and I love us so much but we are our own worst enemies and
we need 2 change that. I hope that my story can compel someone 2 change their life 4 the
better and encourage them 2 keep fighting 4 change and never stop resisting oppression.
I want 2 leave yell with my last poem titled "Memoirs of A Thug" and I hope U enjoy it!
'Thank U and here it is:
My heart is searching 4 peace
While my spirit is destined 2 be free
And even in ye' worst nightmares
U could never picture a nigger like me
Just one strand of my DNA
can cause the sun 2 turn blue
U can inject my essence in2 the air
and watch it spread like the flu
e J c kv,A)
Inside my mind their lives a warrior
that 4orces the world 2 live in fear
Because my life contained a destiny
most people didn't wanna be near
I was unable 2 be conquered
so they feared what they couldn't understand
Through poverty and misery I struggled
2 prove my ambitionz as a man
Never once did I ask 4 any help
or scream when tormented by the pain
Silently I watched as my adversaries
plotted 4 my downfall in this game
My struggle 4orced me 2 become a leader
he/lbound since the day I was born
So the public will always show their hate
anytime U mention the name Rhonshawn
But I was never given a chance at life
or a moment 2 rethink my mission
Everywhere I went nobody cared
or they were just 2 busy 2 listen
So I tried 2 do it my way
tired of living my life in hell
Crucified by my phony homies
I soon discovered why I failed
But GOD blessed me with a second chance
2 finally get my life on track
So I know I must change 4 the better
If I intend 2 get my happiness back
But in my mind I see a revenge
4 all those that dealt ma hate
Because this world Left me 4 dead
but somehow I escaped my fate"...
2 all of my hoodlumz and thugz out there across the globe.I want yell 2 know that I go
hard and I put on 4 yell! 2 all of my stand up.honorabie men and women that are trapped
behind these walls.I do this shit 4 yell! And 2 all of my Black Brothas that we have lost
due 2 senseless killings and police brutalitya rep' 4 yell! 2 all those around the world
fighting 2 make their situation better and staying strong so that they can take care of
their familiesa go hard 4 yell and I salute yell! Don't give up and keep fighting! I love
all of yall and thank you 4 supporting my book. ONE!
el g
all of my trials anCtr ibulations that I went through in life,tt wasn't until
2 SOD-Huntingdon's hole antsss 'hetes physicaliy,miotallyond psychologically tor..
tured,that I realised just bow steoa4 I as. I had given up on GOD and blamed him for everything that was wron g in my li ts, I 4lamed him for eve rt struggle that I went tbrough,but
I did that without understandf '
plan or his wisdom. Imes a novice mind trying
2 understand a seasoned fi.bwill„
baby wondering why I couldn't digest a steak. Over
and over I constantly curaed!OUs.nsm.o In the end he never gave up on me And he Past
waited for me with extra* Pi g/Uflir UOD waited for me With slot mare patience then 1
had with him, le loved. MO aneanditiPeatlY when my love fer . him was conditional. I loved
him when everything was going g0P4 fot ae and !lost faith as woe as the storm came but
not once,even when I doubted /ism and tried 2 do it co my own; not once did he give up,
on me! NOT ONCE!
He showed me whet palm felt likkeo I would appreciate jot. Be showed me what hate felt
like so I would learn howl . gite love properly. And he teeb me through hell Just 2 prepare
me for heaven. He - put all of the people that I needed in my life and took those that I
didn't need out of my life. I'm still standing and I'm still here inot by luck,I'm still
here because / 1,m seOPOsed 2 bet I get it now! I didn't get it before but now I understand
life slot betters .' underetand Peop le slot better now, I used 2 get mad at people for doing
certain things and new I don't even feed in2 that negative energy. It was a sista that
I had love 4 and cared about that asked 2 read the manuscript 2 this book when I first
wrote it and t ete e* her Wor d that she would send it right- back but instead she kept MY
book and didn't eve n care about how I felt anymore. So I know now that just because you
care about someone end You are unselfish 2 people,that doesn't mean that those feelings
have . 2 be mutual.
I wish that state and her two daughters the best and I don't harbor any ill will 2wards
her. I get it noel. GOD blessed me with a beautiful mind and all r did was write the book
all over again. I couldn't waste time being mad at her. A what? This book wasn't going
and wrote her and told her
2 rewrite tteelf-so,I, let go of the anger I had 2wards that she can have the book and I wish her the best. Then I got 2 work on my book, My case
is looking Atnellent and I put myself in a better position. I'm connecting with good business minded people and I'm networking with all the right people. I believe that it's not
a one sided p rotium, COD hel ps those that help themselves! You got a part that you gotta
play in this tool lint it now! If GOD leads you 2 a steak,you gotta season it.cook it,and
cut it Yourse lf', We pre y and then we expect some hands 2 come out of the sky and do everything but tha t' s not how it works. You can Prelobnt you gotta hove faith also that the
moves you make are guided by GOD so that yeell be successful in ys t endeavors. Don't
Prat and 40 nothinuaid don't speak it in2 existence and have faith that it's going 2
happen because that i t won't! Pra yer without faith is lust exercise!
So after reading my book I know you saw the Poem that I wrote titled "Where were U?"
which was directed at pop due 2 the torment that I was going through but at that time
I didn't understand CoP.faithor how 2 pray. I het seen so many of our people get spooked
out and look in the sky for this divine intervention or s set of hands 2 part the clouds
and give them what they need but we were created in G OD 'a ima ge and we are demigods. We
have power to us that we do not tap 4n2 or use. Tes. we can prey 2 GOD but we also have
2 tap in2 the GOD within us. Everytime we look in the mirror we see what GOD looks like
because we are created in his image. So we have 2 believe in ourselves equally also and
allow the GOD within us 2 merge with the Supreme GOD that governs us and once we are n'sYnt
then everything will play out according 2 the universal order of things. I believe in
karma so every bit of negative energy that I put out there will come right back 2 me.
Which:is why I try my best 2 put as much positive energy in the universe as I can.
X went
After reeding my story I *cow that you have read about the reckless individual that
I was when I was in my ignorant ones of life, When I cam 2 prison it was then that
I made my transformation in2 a Blackman and then in2 a Blank brother. After going through
what I went through with these recist,diabolicalsoppressore0 made a vow 2 myself that
I would try my best not to hurt another blackman and I would learn how 2 be a real black
brother 2 my black states and help,protect,and honor them as much as I can. This is the
personal commitment that I made 2 myself but I am faced with the harsh reality that I'm
not even Emoted black brothas that will respect or appreciate change and sincerity. A
wise man once said "To be sincere with insincere is dangerous". It's like trying to act
like a humble lamb in the midst of a pack of hyenas. It's cruel to say and it's harsh
but our people have been so mentacided that you have to at least present the threat of
violence just to survive so I ma I understand.
Our black brothas don't care about what you saying,they care about what you doing. When
I say they care about what you doing,' mean what you got or who you killed. They respect
your violence and ya' money. If you got one of the two or bothothen they'll listen to
you. Without that,you not even worth the bullet in their gun. It's a shame that this is
what we have come to but it's realit y . So even though the goverment doesn't want to admit
it or give us credit for it,it's the prisonets like myself and other strong blackmen or
men period that come through here and get tired of the negativity and dedicate their lives
to change and helping the youth. We become surrogate fathers to other peoples children.not
because we want to but because we have to and need to due to the unconditional love for
our people that has been restored in our hearts after decades of hate and ignorance has
been removed.
We do it because we understand that when the younger generation comes through these
prisons for murders i shootings,assaultspor any other violent crime.if we as man don't step
up and help to change this epidemic then the next time that these youngsters come through
these prisons it might be for killing or hurting one of our loved ones. So we are compelled
as blackmen and black brothas 2 reach out to the youth that come through these prisons
and assist in their change. These younger guys that are coming through these prisons will
be running the communities that we once lived iNcommunities that our families and loved
odes still live in while we are in here fighting 2 get out. The youth are out there racing
themselves so I'm very patient with them and I never act or talk 2 them like I'm better
then them because I understand the war that they are fighting on a daily basis. They are
literally young,black,and becoming extinct!
Due to alot of the strong men being incarserated and taken out of the households,these
younger men are forced to raise themselves and also discipline themselves so they are
crashing and burning because we are not out there to assist them in their phlight. The
younger generations are natural killing machines! They will kill you in cold blood and
go and play a game of grand theft auto or vine city like nothing happened. If you look
at the news,it s the younger generation that are doing all of the killing now. School
teachers can't even give out a bad report card without worrying about being killed! Parents
can't even discipline their kids without worrying about getting killed! I watched a show
called scared straight and I couldn't believe how these young cats are talking to their
mothers and raising their hands to their mothers! I would've never thought about raising
my hand to my mother whether she was wrong,high,whatever,NEVER!
I also want to say something to the young fathers and mothers out there racing their
children,Yall are becoming weak! Tall are allowing your children to terrorize your household sad you are living in fear of your own children! MAN THE FUCK UP AND PUT YOUR FOOT
IN THEIR ASS!!! If you truly love your children,then fight tooth and nail 2 save them
b4 they end up in one of these slave camps getting dehumanized by some oppressive ass
guards that don't give a fuck about them. Parents these are your children and if you don't
fight for them then who will? Alot of the younger eats identify with me and respect and
look 2 me for guidance because they see that I'm not trying to misuse them and I come
from alot of the same circumstances that they come from. They will listen as long as they
see that you are sincere and you real. If they spot or think that they spotted any fakeness
or insincerity in you then you will become their next target! So if you are not really
trying 2 help them then stay out of their way cause they got a sixth sense for sucks&
I learned alot about myself due to overcoming every obstacle,adversity.and struggle
that this life threw at me. When this world threw rocks at me,I turned them in2 diamonds!
I know that I hurt slot of people_when . I WAS_WMFASPOtallt state of mind and I just want
2 soy that any mistakes that .1 Made in thief
was not done out of disrespect to my
black race. I was a product of an poisonous enviroment and what you witnessed was the
side effects of those takin g). To an y black stet* that I emotionelly, hurt or scarred in
my Journe y a want to say that I apologize for an y pain that I caused yall because I love
yall 2 death! I didn't even know how 2 love myself let alone a blackwomen so I hurt you
through boyish immature tactics that were bred from my own ignorance. Blackwoman arm are
the hest thing that this world has 2 offer! TRUE STORY! $1
On any given sunday can shut down any ogee of women on this planet! TRUE
STORY!!! I admire yell strength and independence and I respect yell movement! Just like
us as blackmen have failed 2 fulfill our responsibilities in raising our children due
to us being incarcerated,murderedor absent from our duttes,we have also failed to be
protectors,husbands,providers,lovera lend teachers for yell. We treat yell like disposable
razors and throw yell away after we use yell,when we should be jumping in front of bullets
4 yell just 2 prove 2 yell that we are worthy. I love MU with a passion! ALL OF TALL!!!
I just hope that yell realize that yall are way too powerful 2 be wasting time arguing
and fighting with each other whenliall can pet so much more done by working 2gether. I
know that if yell wanted 2 yall could do things on ye' own,but it i s nothing compared 2
what yell get done when yell work 2gether. One group of blackwomen can get more 4 this
country done then the C.I.A. can.because yall know how 2 do slot with a little and yell
go fight to the root of the problem,
No other race of women on this planet understands struggle,adversiti,and oppression
like you do. TRUE STORY!!! So before I ended this I just wanted 2 let all omy ghetto queens
and all of my black suites out there know that I love yell and I'm rooting 4 all of yell
2 win! On that note,' wanna' say that Rhonahawn Dante Jackson is a work in progress and
I will get better everyday because I will fight for change everyday. So don't give Up
on me ststas,I just might surprise yall one of these daysl(smile). ONE!
"Author'sSate:, tit} cltSDA)
I wrote this book
teat life experiences that we as Ps0Ple
beaus* anted. ; exploit some
go through in life that seldal, im g snake on . Mess experiences create and define who
we ace or who we Will banana so we shouldn't be ashamed O f them. These) experiancesostruggr
leson4 moments of adversity determine how weak or strong an individual will be in life.
A wise man once said "In order 2 understand a map and whet motivates htn,you mat first
understand his strug gle". 40 amen being t have discovered that 4 the most part we always
Judge SOO other 4 what we see on 00 surface. It is very Seldom that 'someone takes the
initiative 2 dig deeper and fin d at who this Verson really is. Human beings are made
up of isa laatS4ion e. of uhlea can lea at a glance...4ot of us only go . b0hat we
see on the surface and we don"t, ively:give.each other o ubsfull Jus t because lama* ma
doesn't necessarily seen that that's n,bed
And it* becauie yau-and someone might be an ad tot ak107 doesn't man that You'll
tax* /Morrow, ..
4 inetante.Aaagh. a hook I talijellpUt a sist 04114 Ulises that lied on ma and said
that ; rap04.1314i.f: ',#0, we were YPOOSik but 2
shil(teAtke a sister .; a. Let me
tell. you quick story 004 '044'40is. When I came hose in the year 2000 0 /ries& was
working at #00a0"0 .0hieken,Wthe„Cheltenhem toll. I was inthe Silt shaPPtos with my
yegaghayl ;area *tithe said "Let's go over ; poOeye's end get some chtekea"..:l said "I'm
at TbuliStane, of that .0.1d ass chicken". He started laughing and said "We dan't gotta
poliy . X44.4 work there and as 10OCSOon with se !he ' ll Site . it up". I *honk my head
40401.4 0; just, tine home a nd-yoUtabing in on me altead*.huhr and I walked; him to
the store. •
We get popsies and as spoi , tia-Ifiesa sew ma she wee like "Oh my GOD! Rhonehroin you
Mal Sits me a hug" and came from around the counter 2 :hug me. Sey on saw this and went
in A thekill. He was like "Rises we need some chicken".'Irissa looked at me and sate"fou.hUegfy Shanahan?". I said "Yeah " and she said "Hold up" and went beck in the store.
SlOn)ihe lift faton looked at ma and said "I told you she'll do it if you here". A Couple
mitaites later she came out with two Sage and pie ta 2 me and said she needed 2 talk 2
as and pulled me. 2 the side. Rayon case and sot One Of the bags and started eating on
the aide of us. Irises said "Shonshawn,you betta' not laugh either". I smiled and said
wouldn't laugh.. She said "I been going . 2 church and I knew b4 you left I was tool* but
haven't had sea in like six month* and I'm tryna get my lift leather. I ain't fucking : .
within** of thiss aim* and tinny/0.3nd then she started twirling her fingers end lientufghervene. Se, I said "You wanted 2 what?". She said "I wanted 2 tell you that I
Wang -thste kids and tattle down with:someone that I know will treat me right and I want
; it 2 be a bibffither".
k re not gong,
nt2 lie,she caught me off guard with that. , Overallarissa was a goad girl
. 4. but Oltehae- fuelted All of my hates and damn near everybody in my hood. If she Was my
' b4yacs,I Would be going 2 wer, all the time 4 nines disrespecting my seeds mom, I was
fldtteied but because of who rem I couldn't but I didn't disrespect her because she did
the Asme thing twee doing,tt's just that *has female so she gets judged in this society
IA4 , 1 don't. But I got slot of love 4 her and I care about her muse slue s a Wood Sit'
and mesa gob a beautiful heart and if she can help you she will. She's a very beautiful
Pitman . So I declined the offer respectfully ,geve her ei-402 and me and keyOn left the
fill. A coiple ielhe later while tlin at a dice game in erhood gnablingooOk chit* crimes
*Si of the driveway and was like "I need somebody 2 walk le home beau& saiebodi in this
Meek car at the tap of this driveway is following me". I was losing so I really didn't
Oren hear Who it-Oes.whe‘was satdoWeere abaft nothing except winning mr money beck.
I .tad a grey phililis fitted cap on . 2:the beck and ism in the middle of the dice VMS
"booties. It's likwalmast Lem in the morning. The chick said it again that she needed
help and l ib like "foonsebody help shorty so we can get back2 this gemel". The chick
. heard my voice and was like "That's Rhoashain?". I was lila. "Who That?" and I walked out
from in the radii* of the diiegame.and she was like "It's Rise". I got up on her and
as like " Oh that wigs you all that time? What's op t ion alright?". She said "NOI Some nine
is is a black caret the top of ty black with tinted windows and he's following me w . I
toughed and said "Statis t:you got algae stalking you now?". She said "Rhonshawn.I'm 4real"
31- eleiN
and I 40 014 tell that she was irar04
be beak and I told Irises
2. Aele .00*
She iribked 47 ster e ed 441 0t0104.70e. 260 04001 4 ioeti hrrr who this
°too is! ' I
said "Yin done ger0-4,141$1. some Of that fire Asa head Oil* and
now this nigga stalking
SO got 2 the top of her block and just
Year, She started laughing and said "Shut Itko sh4 , 4144* i t moss block carrots, with tinted windows. As Sot as me and Irises started
walking 2tertls her bluse . the-servatte followsd us and Ut iles stopped deed, in her tracks
and got seared on ms. Istoppskeed told her nisse,calS4awn. Pin not gone /et nothing
happen to you siri,X prolate* alvtab t/r • She said m'eablibegMbat if he got a knife or a
$44: ot something Rhonsbownr * ' , said !Then he gone sake this easeteod '41110d ef goo
off of my waist and cold her 2 !tor right there as I walked . 2werds the corvette with MY
1141illelea04 at "tear. 44 .1„ oPe ld _Set one Shot of f all you heard was tiO41. *reaching
down the block sar . thscsiopedsoff. Irises ran 2 me and Wiped le so tight -Oat I could
hardlf-briethe and said 1.! S hOothawk#I love you boy ! Can you walk ma t4 17 hilep er. I smiled'
and walked her hoes: .
This is one of the momente,thatI:think shout in my till where ma and this sista was
once enemies cause rshe trim, 2.444444im7 44* and .nom we're close friends. PP we Am.117keel Whet Smarr* will bring. Wsratelt be holding or 2.theis.little petty ass undue
aid ' emeiag up with-all of these teasers 2 stay divided s ieetead of coming up with all of
ithook ro f* that tl004414te 440 stick 2g othet. If more of us were policing our own countsities .abetwe wouldn't have 2 worry about our aistersodanghterssand kids being molested*
raped, or murdered.
ilewlest-thiok About if -I didn't walk Irises home thst-danthen that guy in the corvette
4410C've abducted her and rapid or hi:1 W hoc* But tee sad that out of fifteen Blackman
01.. a cornerl ooly:cia of ea ska ted 2 tOine-11- 047 sisras sidoed I was out of P ocket too
qua, if I didn i trknow'her ',probably wield$71 staled gambling and not Potts/ ievolied.
Thses something that es as Slon been mood 2jook at and Isar. how 2 do; we Sto tt know'
how 2 be sincere and do thing* from the heart 4 our states without ex pecting some puss*,
hoedoor some other type of rewartetlaYment in return. Let's start being real Slack
Broths. 2 our Ostas . and,2 our Brithei and I guarantee you that alot of things would go
Olot smoother and less violent in our communities.
I hope that my story has **rated you 2 want 2 ikange*, , negotivo circumstances in2
some positive ones. I was a product Of "a poisonous seed Shd; Came 2 prison suffering from
the side effects of that poison. Iliad 2 .0 through a diamond prod* where preSeure had
l'he applied 2 me in order . for me 2 Chip away all of the eleSente that flit* i s* I learned
how l'love my people toceurel'I know what it feels like 24no hated for being black. I learned
what joy felt like beceu eo . rhOw whet We feels like..I.sebtace-ever* hardship that I
went through to my life bet-0Sr it only made me stronger and
me te2 the man that
I- as 2day. I lamed how 2 trul y love my black race unconditionally without expecting anything back from them. 1 lOvi'my - brOilse and lista, unconditionally COW and I fully understand
how drCns my bleak race - is and abet we admi from as Well he Whit -Stare capable
Of On a grand sal*. I don't went 2 add 2 the genocide of SY b lack brothie'enfitme and
"mit Ism 2 S'inchs notional Pain Of go bleak sistisAnymore . I wentlirevive and
get my chonCe to be better. t ssOtmA Itat al Chanel, 2 dreltici.:-,
I bolters that every thug SiOiery , hoodlum'ot tine 00.,“
014 born going 2 war with weer
thing'all of our lives. We ari.inirn* a constant JoerneeWr'S-Peat*
that some of us only
find in death. In my Marti do want change and make my malt on this earth but at night
having hight*0010 that I'm being : *hosed by demons.
in a bleck forestithd all
Can is, is fog in front or**. I'm evening and I Can hear the footsteps getting clew
and closer. I be Waking. up in cold sweats at night and I he Urinnchsti: $Oshalue
a dame that I'm in a'shobtoutlwith some cots and when
*hangs clips,right fie I put
the clip In the gun the bullets turn in2 si gh. I teach 4-044otiket 4 the other bullets
X Otani' they are mushy too. One
I had a nightmare that all .of these cats with no
faces ran up in my cell and triedl litt .me and I had two large tnires'on me and eVerytime
I Went 2 stab one of the su fSi ths half* t umid in2 a snaky, so I got cleat the knives
and tried 2 fishtail of them but my Punches didn't phase cham at ells pirwhen they Pulled
out there knives 2 stab es and kill Moots O pen as they *Wright up on-** I woke up. I
don't know whet those dreamt mean or iliac they represent but I do know that I wait 2 tell
*/ story b4 I leave this earth 2 the hoodlums and thugs that'll coming . after se. I'do know
I don't know what MO of destiny GOD got P lanned for sa but I fool in m y heart that
the journey and path that I'm on now is t he right one and GOD is walking Stites. In my
heart I feel like op didn't brinumethia fit just A lot my killers have Weoul. I know
that he kept me alive all Of this time and protected me** greater purpose and I just
Viet the oppartaat t y 2 mature 4 2.047 OwN ; hues that I S
d i* peacefully but b4 I am
murdered I just 'Mat the oppirtuntty. 2 do ' sfeterhiii4 my Onq
Sane and Umpire as many Of
my Sung nation that I can b4 T 80+ I hoos that *let of people that know me will only ream.
her when I was bad. Slot of people Silted at out and wide OS on me and I jet went 2 Show
them that oven though the y stopped belieriag, in eesssf DIDN'T!!!". t want 2 show this world
that if you are going 2 judge a son then judge hie 4 h tel9holtitifot f rosi 'beginning 2 end.
Don't just judge him for one or 0 count* mistakes that hirisds.hosa Sin you are
If you're going 2 judger htmtthei SOS* him for hio,o0010100 is 0 *gel
I believe in my heart thetas as Black people are suob more then what we Ahoy this world
but slot of us just don't' believe that we are. ' Ws SOC •4 bolters that we are better; and
much more then what we are displaying and we gotta atop killing each other off for Pitt/
shit! Their was a time when we ran from Whits folks with whittetsets on thole* beads and
we were forted 2 watch our oppressors rape and warder our women and now we have be** the rapist and murderers of our Osten and the murdererectour brothred.Thet's justrocese
thing I wanted 2 share with my brothes and sista. If we don't start loving and protecting
ourselvesour woment and our children ,then who will? PEACE!!!
ijA c lam)
This bonus poem is dedicated 2 all of the fallen hood en and thugs across the g lobal that
we lost. I just wanted 2 take the time out 2 show those , het we lost in this treacherous'
same of life some love. This poem was inspired by four verYvvery dear family members of
mines that I thought of while writing it and they area Azim "Uzi" Wrightayle "Hafesah"
Little.Clinton "Boobie" Robinson.and David "Lil'Uzi" Snyder. With that. said l I now present
2 U "When Thugs Cry"...
"In this life their comes a time
when the pain becomes 2 immersible 2 bare
A time when ye' soul wants 2 depart from this earth
betas' ye heart no longer feels like it's there
My eyes have literally ran out of tears
and I'm tired of remembering my loved ones through obituaries
Sometimes I wish that death would come end. take me
so I can reunite with those I lost buried in cemeteries
Because every time that someone I love or care about
gets murdered out in these streets or by the police
It makes me wonder if my Black skin is a signal 4 war
and maybe I might be wrong 4 tryna' find me some peace
Now, why shouldn't I live my life by the gun
so I can bust back instead of letting these racist cops shoot me?
Knowing that even though I'm declared innocent by law
after they kill me they'll still receive immunity
Which is why my heart is so full of rage
and secretly I'm hell bent on revenge
At night I ask GOD 2 brin g this 2 it's final end
beaux' I'm just tired of losing my family and friends
But this world needs 2 know why we wreck shit
and why we don't care whether we live or die
Beene' when society continues 2 ignore our pain
the end result is death when thugs cry"...
I wrote this poem because I wanted 2 put everything that i went through throughout this
whole ordeal in2 one poetic verse. .1 moreso dedicated this poem 2 the 'mean that captures
the essence of my heart. I haven't found her yet but I know that she is out there somewhere
jest welting 4 me 2 find hers.Tes,I have loved b4 and I have been inla ys b4,but I have never
found completion.a always ended up giving a women way sore of myself than she would give
me of her which is why I never had any children been' I never found that one woman that
could give me equality and match my love quotient. I have yet 2 find my queen so I am 4ever
in limbo. I as incomplete beaus' my queen is the missing piece of me and I am Unit in search
of her so that I can be complete.
So this poem is dedicated 2 my future Queen that's out there somewhere and where ever
you are I just went you 2 know that once I finally find you,I will be able 2 change the
course of my fate and 2gether we will conquer the world! Now without anymore delay,' present
2 you the poem that's dedicated 2 my Queen titled "Checkmate". Enjoy! ONE!
"If only U knew my true nature
and the raw essence of what I as
Only then would U open up ye' eyes and finally see
that underneath of this hard exterior lies a sincere and honest man
I an unlike anything U have ever encountered
and my genetics will never again be duplicated
I've weathered every men made storm manufactured against me
2show those coming after me how I triumphantly made it
There was no utopia or peace crested 4 me on this planet
as I fought through struggles and adversity since my birth
I walked through this valley of death all alone
while I desperately sought 2 discover my Heaven on earth
All I've ever wanted was someone that truly cared
or that took the time out 2 diagnose my pain
But I soon realized that I was always on my own
stuck in the cobwebs of this treacherous game
Those I opened my heart up 2 broke it
while those who claimed 2 love me betrayed me
This cruel world almost crucified my flesh and my spirit
until GOD finally decided 2 come and save me
And I have stumbled on this battlefield of life a few times
but never once did I accept defeat
Knowing that I lived ay life as a fearless warrior
so I was destined 2 die on my feet
But I constantly remained strong
while my Import profusely shed silent tears
Abandoned by those I sacrificed my life 4
that once tried 2 call themselves ay peers
So I can see clearly now that the rain is gone
and I'm sad at myself been* / I should've been seen it
But I promise that my arrival will change the world
when I rise up from these ashes like a phoenix
IMQ ALIcron)
Beaus' I know that slot of people have counted me out
and they just can't wait until I take my last breath
But while they thous t that I was in Jail playing checkers
what they didn't roe ise is that I was always playing chess
Which is why all of y moves have been calculated steps
that thou outside o my circle couldn't understand
It took me 17 years put all of my places in place
but finally I have perfected my plan
So now I am ready 2 play this gams and win
and with the right Quinn I can strategically change my fate
Which is why I am 4sver in search 4 that missing piece of me
so that I can annihilate all of my enemies with this Checkmate"...
Tho k) tilAutw 46.404
I wrote this poem 4 all of the fallen angels that were 4orced 2 live on this Lucked up,
heartless planet and got tortured,betrayed,decieved,or murdered by those they loved or were
loyal 2. This poem is 4 all of the fallen angels that were killed by racist cops or racist
white people period. .This poem is 4 all of the fallen angels that are trapped inside of
time prisons on Oath Ivw or fighting life sentences due 2 being given a fucked up hand
in life that th y tried 2 make better.But most of all,this poem is 4 all of the fallen
easels that ded Wed their lives 2 this struggle and died so that the angels Coming after
them would have a fighting chancel I salute yall and I'll see U when I get there! Now with
that Nada hofl you enjoy my last bonus poem 2 all of our fallen angels! ONE!
*LI told me that U loved me unconditionally
but yet U let a mother fall victim 2 crack
U said my peopl were the greatest creation on earth
then U allowed
2 become slaves just 4 being black
U told me that
were oft 4siving
but then U turn d around and punished us 4 being imperfect
Year after year innocent woman and children are murdered
while we contin it 2 give U prayers that are not even worth it
What sane Wit dual in their right sled
would offer tilt cruel planet 2 their child?
That's like all
us your baby 2 be raised in the jungle
then turning at •und and punishing him 4 being wild
placed me on
planet full of war and bloodshed
without any 1
tion of refuge 2 run
So after witnes ins all of these senseless murders and killings
why wouldn't I its my life by the gun?
In all of your eligieus books and scriptures
U said that U so uld lead the wild in2 the ways of the man
But yet we are ontinuously 4orced 2 live like savages
while we become casualties and pawns in your sick plan
And please don' tell me about the rewards of Heaven
after U *eaten
me 2 live down here in this hell
Beaus' that won d be like telling me about the beauty of freedom
after U 'mum d me 2 a lifetime in Pal
And I hope that U can 4give me 4 being angry
4 being subjec t
2 all of this unnecessary pain
Beaus' why shoo d I have 2 be cursed 4ever
just 4 bolas bo a in this treacherous game?
So that's why
am fighting 2 get up out of this male
64 I get trap
inside of this hurricanes swirl
Beaus' if U rem ly loved ys' angeld like U say U do GOD
U wouldn't let s be tortured down here in fliq gold cold world"...
tC\170 n,N,\Jy\)
)PkOk biu
'IR • H
They are wo tying aboutLmemand for what/
a not me that they got to worry about. It's
the young gene tion that' coming after me
t they should be worried about and afraid
of cue them y ng niggas ain't gone have
c passion. They gone be heartless"...
-Tupac Am tu hakurTapas Shakur died at 25 and he was still 001 ively a young Black male. He had so much
' promise and potential that when he died we get lly did everything in our power to bring
him back! Mentally and emotionally slot of to j t couldn't accept the fact that he was
gone. 2 some of us he was damn near invincible •r immortal but after a while we were forced
2 accept his death whether we wanted 2 or not. o knows what he would've done or got 2
accomplish if his young life wasn't cut down a short due 2 an assassination on his life
that was manufaCtured as Black on Black violen . TuOac's "true" enemy capitalized off
of our ignorance and found s way to take one of our own from us while tricking us into
thinking that we were the full blame 4 his demi e. Well,were we?
Let's look at Tupses death and aid out To c was a revolutionary at heart and he loved
his people but he understood his mission as . wel as his killers, Tupac knew that it wouldn't
be a whiteman who directly milled the trigger d e 2 the message that the whiteman knew
that that weuld send and the backlash that it •uld start. He knew that he would, be murdered
by his own kind just like every aehii Blackman s been killed in Amerikkkaoither by a
direct Bleckhand or a indirect Blackhand,we bay no problem with killing as long as our
'rifling are strapped with Black skin for us 2 rget. Nobody really seved.Tupac and when
I say saved him I mean saved him from himself! many people that claimed 2 love him knew
that the drugs were getting the best of him and that he no longer had a voice of reason
but instead of fighting his 4 his life so it. co ld be preserved-4E STOOD BACK AND WATCHED
How many more of our great Black leaders are
going 2 watch self destruct b4 they get
an oppurtUnity . 2 mature in2 their own? How many of our future Barack Obames.Madame C.J.
Walker's,Bob jOhneon's.Seen Combs.Seen Carters Johnny Cochran's.Lebron James.Michael
Jordan's,Oprah Winfrey's,Maya Angelou's,George shtngton Carver,Alexander Graham Bell's,
Charles Drew's,Martin Luther King's,Melcolm I's Sojourner Truth's,Sonya Sanchez's,and
Nereus Garvey's are we going 2 murder on the at sets in cold blood be we realize and see
that every, bullet that we use 2 kill another 51 ckman or Blackwomen is killing off any
chance of a future that as as Black people will ever have? I'm talking 2 you young nation!
What is it about your beautiful Black skin that you hate so much that you are seeking 2
genocide your own race just 2 get rid Of it? Wh t is it young- brothel Why- do YOU'hate your
people so much? Whet is it about a Black life t
just makes you manna take it without
any tempuras or regard 4 the consequences or th t person's family? What le it broths? You
don't know do you? Well.I'll eell you young kin ...
We have failed you..We have failed all of the young hoodlums and thugs and whet we are
witnessing is the pain of our absence, When I y we r am talking about all of the fathers,
brothersocas,baby fathers,old heada 10.G.'s,and male role modelepthat have been ingareerated
end taken out of your lives and have left you 2 become the man of the household without
any guidance or support from us. We have failed you young nation and I apologize from the
bottom of my heart 4 letting yall down and not ing the man that you needed at 2 be which
lead 2 ye' pain. But how long are you going 2 c ntinue 2 exterminate your own race as a
means 2 take out ye anger on a few men that d rted you? Don't you see that if we:continue
on the path that we are on then soon we'll be o elate? This cycle has 2 stop in order
4 our species 2 survive so I'm appealing 2 you oung nation. What do we need 2-do in order
4 this destruction of our race 2 stop? Because
we find world peaceswe gotta' 'find peace
4 this war on the strests,and yell have the sol tion that we need 2 find that peace. So
will you help us save our race? Or will you con inue 2 add 2 the casualties by killing
us off?
I feel ye' pain and I understand ys' approach How can I tell you not 2 go out and rob
that cat for his money if you broke? How can I ell you not 2 run up in that cat crib for
them bricks and that money 2 feed ye' family when you starving? How can I tell you not
2 sell drugs in ya' community when you got bills 2 pay and people 2 take care Off How can
I tell you not 2 put ye foot in that black bitches ass if she don't got ye money or she
2. 0 ;
disrespect you? How can I tell you not 2 go blow that Black bitch ass niggas head off for
violating You or getting out of pocket • with You? How can I tell you 2 man up and take care
of ye' kids if you don't want 2? How can I tell you 2 respect ya l mother and father if
you don't like how they talk 2 you or treat you? How can I tell you not 2 shoot that teacher
in his face for putting that bad grade on ye' report card? I can go on for • days with this
line of questioning but what will it accomplish? I'can talk till' I'm blue in the face
but if you don't want 2 change it means nothing!
So let's look at this from another angle. What if I told you that if you are really tryna
make some coal money and take care of your family,then I could show you how to do it without
killing off ye own kindsterrorising ye l communities.or doing anything Messin g/tat would
you say? How much money would be enough for you 2 lepve the streets alone? Ask yourself
that question and when you get the amount in ye beed.then ask yaself'what you would,do
2 gat ye' hands on that kind of money. If ye' answer is whatever which is what a true street
nigge would sayothen why can't you use that same drive sad ambition 2, get that kind of
money in a positive way just like you are willing 2 get it in a,negative way? Think about
it! And think hard about itt / know that slot of yall across the country are in situations
where you just have 2 present the threat of violence or you'll be killed's° I get it ' But
I want yell 2 think about living instead of continuoaly preparing 4 dying. Tall are much
more then drugdealers and gangbangers and your mothersowives t baby mothers ' and children
need 'trussed even though you might not know ii ' your Black race needs you! We can't do this
without you young nation and time is running out! We need pall young hoodlums and thugs
2 start policing our neighborhoods and protecting our Black-sistas and children from stray
bullets due 2 yell tryna resolve disputes tbru violence.
We need yell 2 set the stage for the youth that's coming after yell so they won't fall
Victim 2 these grave yards and prison yards. Young nition,your children will learn how
2 treat other Black women by watching how you are treating their mothers so don't 4get
that! Your daughters will learn how a man is . supposed 2 treat her by watching how you treat
her mother ' s° don't 4get that! I wrote this letter . 2 you young nation because we are losing
and the only way that we will be able 2 win is if yell come 2 the table and help us ' So
what will it be? Just think about it and know that the decision you make 2day will effect
the rest of your life 4ever. I love yall and I believe in yall.but I'm asking yell 2 love
yourselves enough 2 live instead of hating yourself enough 2 die!!! PEACE and LOVE!!!
(L tj AdetteK1
Memoirs of a thug is a brief autobiography written by Author Rhonshawn Jackson. This
story is about one of Philadelphia's most respected thugs that came from nothing and
against all odds fought through poverty and misery to mature into his own man. In this
msmoir,Rhonshawn Jackson ;hares some of the trials and tribulations that he experienced
in life,his views on Black on Blauk:crimesiPrison,and the treatment of the Blackwoman
by BlaCkmen,and a host of other topics. This book diagneees what it feels like to be an
underdog surviving in the streets while becomin g a Prod ded a poisonous,toxic onviroment
to going to prison and re-educating himself only to discover that everything he had been
taught about lit, was wrong. This story is authentic and every reader can relate to it.
rea a page turner that will have you laughing,cryiogothinking,and enjoying slot of his
original- poetry that is included,. This is a warrior's story that needs to be 'told and
*Wuhan Jackson is a byproduct Of every battlefield that he was placed one
Rhonshawn Jackson is a- p
native that was falsely accused of a Oise that be
didn't comsat. While fight14111,*flimm his l44446444,hl-hae written this memoirAmoirs
of 4 th6ist466 entails slot of
1 i *0 Wer6lO44'041-4166 of 446 4 4444 )**4
uP606066 t°641714 646 046444 61 3016464- Ek444heih is also thifoundet-of 0.0.0P.L.U.11
Entertainment record liebel,BoOR Publishing domeany l and-E44,rofit orgenittatiONeww.irePace.
cOm/h.o.o.d.l.u.m e www.biackplanet.comikalbutk. 11,0404141411.$ is an acronym which stands
for "Molding On Ot Dying Living Under Misery" and it's Rhonshawn's movement treated to
give back to the underdogs and less fortunate youth around the world. Since his incarterat.,
ion in the year 2000. Rhonshawn - hashbtained his G.E.D..taught himself-civil-lawvand is
currently taking college courses to further his education. TO contact Rhonshawn.please
004 4
write tot
Rhonshawn Jackson- *GW-4530
10745,Route 18
Albion.Pa 16475-0002