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OFFICE OF MARRIAGE AND FAMILY NEWSLETTER
Marriage & Family
two by two
MAY 2014
IN THIS ISSUE
Mother’s Day celebrates its
100th birthday on May 11th
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Trivia about Mother’s Day
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The early Christians celebrated
Mother’s Day on the fourth Sunday
of Lent to honor the Blessed Virgin
Mary
“Mothering Sunday” began in
England in the 1600’s which was
observed on the fourth Sunday of
Lent, and included the tradition of
people returning to their “Mother
Church” as part of the event.
May 8, 1914, President Woodrow
Wilson signed a Joint Resolution
designating the second Sunday in
May as Mother's Day, a national day
of celebration
The giving of carnations started in
1905 when Anna Jarvis (contributed
with being the founder of Mother’s
day) sent carnations to the church
on the year her mother died
Today, FDT reports it sells $1.9
billion flowers for Mother’s Day
Hallmark reports over 133 million
cards are sent – the third most
popular holiday to send cards
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Phone calls increase 37% (AT&T),
only behind Christmas
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Watch this special tribute to Mom’s.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kml
IO3mBFVU&utm_source=Ascension+Pr
ess&utm_campaign=c90eac0bc0Thank_you_mom_teaser4_23_2014&ut
m_medium=email&utm_term=0_e09e1
2a778-c90eac0bc0350486917&mc_cid=c90eac0bc0&mc_ei
d=2ac38be246
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Mother’s day 100th birthday
Two New Saints!
Amazing Videos Show Growth
of Children
Video Of Conception To Birth Is
Worth Watching Again And
Again
America’s Funniest Home Video
The Five Keys to Nurturing SelfControl
Have You Encouraged Your
Spouse Today?
Fortnight for Freedom – June
21-July 4th
Successful Sex Pre-selection
using Natural Family Planning
Discipline: No Surprises
Humanae vitae Award
Nomination
Natural Family Planning
Instruction Dates
Mary’s Coronation
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TWO BY TWO
| May 2014
Two New Saints!
From
Zenit:, Pope Francis’ Homily
Saint John XXIII and Saint John Paul II were
not afraid to look upon the wounds of Jesus,
to touch his torn hands and his pierced side.
They were not ashamed of the flesh of Christ,
they were not scandalized by him, by his
cross; they did not despise the flesh of their
brother (cf. Is 58:7), because they saw Jesus
in every person who suffers and struggles.
These were two men of courage, filled with
the parrhesia of the Holy Spirit, and they
bore witness before the Church and the
world to God’s goodness and mercy.
They were priests, bishops and popes of the
twentieth century. They lived through the
tragic events of that century, but they were
not overwhelmed by them. For them, God
was more powerful; faith was more powerful
– faith in Jesus Christ the Redeemer of man
and the Lord of history; the mercy of God,
shown by those five wounds, was more
powerful; and more powerful too was the
closeness of Mary our Mother.
In these two men, who looked upon the
wounds of Christ and bore witness to his
mercy, there dwelt a living hope and an
indescribable and glorious joy (1 Pet 1:3,8).
The hope and the joy which the risen Christ
bestows on his disciples, the hope and the
joy which nothing and no one can take from
them. The hope and joy of Easter, forged in
2
the crucible of self-denial, self-emptying,
utter identification with sinners, even to the
point of disgust at the bitterness of that
chalice. Such were the hope and the joy
which these two holy popes had received as a
gift from the risen Lord and which they in
turn bestowed in abundance upon the People
of God, meriting our eternal gratitude.
This hope and this joy were palpable in the
earliest community of believers, in
Jerusalem, as we read in the Acts of the
Apostles (cf. 2:42-47). It was a community
which lived the heart of the Gospel, love and
mercy, in simplicity and fraternity.
This is also the image of the Church which
the Second Vatican Council set before us.
Saint John XXIII and Saint John Paul II
cooperated with the Holy Spirit in renewing
and updating the Church in keeping with her
pristine features, those features which the
saints have given her throughout the
centuries. Let us not forget that it is the
saints who give direction and growth to the
Church. In convening the Council, Saint John
XXIII showed an exquisite openness to the
Holy Spirit. He let himself be led and he was
for the Church a pastor, a servant-leader.
This was his great service to the Church; he
was the pope of openness to the Holy Spirit.
In his own service to the People of God, Saint
John Paul II was the pope of the family. He
himself once said that he wanted to be
remembered as the pope of the family. I am
particularly happy to point this out as we are
in the process of journeying with families
towards the Synod on the family. It is surely a
journey which, from his place in heaven, he
guides and sustains.
May these two new saints and shepherds of
God’s people intercede for the Church, so
that during this two-year journey toward the
Synod she may be open to the Holy Spirit in
pastoral service to the family. May both of
them teach us not to be scandalized by the
wounds of Christ and to enter ever more
deeply into the mystery of divine mercy,
which always hopes and always forgives,
because it always loves.
FOR MORE INFORMATION
- In Church history, he's best regarded as a
revolutionary leader. But John XXIII was at
heart a man of the people. To view the video
click here.
http://www.romereports.com/pg156553-thelife-of-john-xxiii-from-a-small-village-to-thechair-of-peter-en
Amazing Videos Show Growth of Children
Washington, DC (LiveActionNews) —I just
discovered the wonder of time-lapse videos. I
recently saw my first one on YouTube. It’s a
popular video by Dutch filmmaker Frans
Hofmeester called “Portrait of Lotte.”
Hofmeester filmed his daughter Lotte every
week from birth to 14 years old. The video
shows Lotte going from a smiling toothless
baby to a young girl with braces. You can see
Lotte talking in the video, but the only sound
you hear is sweet background music. Since its
release, the video has over 4 million views on
YouTube.
TIME Magazine reported that Hofmeester
makes time-lapse videos as a way to bond
with his children. He has another video of his
son Vince growing up from birth to age 11.
Hofmeester used the time he shot the videos
to talk to his kids about their lives and how
their weeks were going.
I was mesmerized watching the video. As I
watched Lotte transform before my eyes, a
thought came to mind: “This father really
loves his daughter.” That was the sense I got.
He is enjoying every part of her life, and he
sees the beauty in every stage of her
development. Maybe that’s why the video is
so popular. It’s a picture of a father’s love for
his daughter.
To view the two videos:
Portrait of Vince:
http://www.lifenews.com/2014/04/24/dadfilms-his-son-every-single-week-for-11years-the-result-is-astonishing/
Portrait of Lotte:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UH1x5aR
tjSQ
TWO BY TWO
| May 2014
3
VIDEO OF CONCEPTION TO BIRTH IS
WORTH WATCHING AGAIN AND AGAIN
Article from Abstinence
Clearinghouse
Link to video:
http://www.lifenews.com/2014/04/16/amazingvideo-of-conception-to-birth-is-worth-watchingagain-and-again/
The Five Keys to Nurturing SelfControl by Dr. Todd Cartmel
If you want your children on a self-control
workout plan that would make even Mr.
Olympia proud, here are five keys to building
your kids' self-control that you can begin right
away. You don't even need a pull-up bar or a
gym membership.
1.
Foster good habits. What do good
habits have in common? First, we don't
always feel like doing them. Second, if
maintained, they tend to bring positive
results. It is the first characteristic that
helps to build self-control. Every time
your kids engage in a good habit (like
brushing their teeth, putting toys away
or completing their homework,
especially when they don't really feel like
doing it), they build their self-control
muscle just a little bit more.
2.
Encourage responsibility. In an ageappropriate way, allow your kids to be
responsible for their own behavior. In
other words, if Susie loses a toy that you
have repeatedly asked her to put away,
don't rush out and buy her a new one. For
younger kids, establish a morning and
bedtime routine (you can post it in their
bedroom and bathroom) and help them
learn to complete it on their own. For
older kids, assign reasonable household
chores and make it their responsibility to
remember to do them (although an
occasional reminder is OK).
America’s Funniest Home Video
These Laughing Quadruplets Won on America’s
Funniest Home Videos, Watch and See Why:
http://www.lifenews.com/2014/04/18/these-laughingquadruplets-won-on-americas-funniest-home-videoswatch-and-see-why/
FAST FACTS
3.8%
Nearly half of adolescent crimes are committed by a
miniscule 3.8 percent of teenagers. This group of
teenagers averaged 278 offenses each over the course
of the five-year study, which followed the teenagers
from the age of 12 through 16.
16%
There is a comparable percentage that is especially
“crime-averse.” With only 16 % who reported having the
strongest morals committed a measly 0.5 % of offenses
FOR MORE INFORMATION
Study: Juvenile Crime Based on Morals, Not
Poverty from Cambridge University. Read more
at: http://www.movieguide.org/newsarticles/study-juvenile-crime-based-on-moralsnotpoverty.html?utm_source=iContact&utm_medi
um=email&utm_campaign=Movieguide%C2%A
E%20Newsletter&utm_content=DVD+Edition
3.
Enforce limits. Part of how kids learn
self-control is to experience what
happens when they do not exercise their
self-control. If your child responds in a
disrespectful manner toward parents or
siblings, then he needs to learn the right
lesson, which is that it would have been
much wiser had he more carefully
considered his choices before acting. A
timeout or appropriate loss of privilege
will help your child or teen learn that
exercising self-control and making a
respectful choice is always the best way
to go.
4.
Hit the pause button. Remember, selfcontrol can be seen in the ability to stop
and think before making a choice. Let's
take a look at each component.
• Stop: This means to stop talking and
pause all action for a moment. It can be
helpful to give your kids something to do
while stopping, so taking a deep breath
is just what the doctor ordered. (Notice
that you can't talk while taking a deep
breath.) Stopping and taking a deep
breath has never gotten a child in
trouble.
• Think: Once your child has paused, she
gives herself the chance to do something
important: think. Thinking flexibly
means looking at a situation from a
different perspective. What follows are
four questions your child can say to
herself that will help her think flexibly
about any situation, build self-control
and increase the chances of making a
good choice. Customize this list with
your child, write it on a piece of paper,
and memorize it together so these
thoughts become automatic:
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5.
What is a good way to handle this?
What would God want me to do?
Is it really a big deal?
Should I check with a parent?
Encourage delayed gratification. This is
the ability to expend effort on a task with
no immediate reward. Eating a candy
bar, for example, is immediately
gratifying. Eating vegetables is often less
immediately gratifying (at least from a
child's viewpoint), but the payoff is the
long-term reward of good health. Be on
the lookout for ways your kids can
engage in tasks that require delayed
gratification, such as saving money,
practicing a musical instrument,
exercising, studying for tests or (for
younger kids) completing puzzles.
One final note: When you see your kids
working hard on tasks that require delayed
gratification, make sure to let them know
that you are proud of their effort. A little
encouragement goes a long way.
TWO BY TWO
| May 2014
Have You
Encouraged
Your Spouse
Today?
To read more on Positive
Communication in Marriage,
go to:
http://www.thrivingfamily.co
m/Features/Magazine/2014/p
ositive-communication-inmarriage.aspx
4
Communication is essential to having a good
marriage. According to Dr. H. Norman
Wright, marital communication should be
composed of active listening. Show your
spouse that you desire for them to be heard
and understood. Some examples include:
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Listen attentively, don't be
distracted by multitasking.
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Give your spouse encouragement
by validating them as an individual.
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Share freely the aspects about your
spouse you especially appreciate.
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Share genuinely from your heart,
and try to find new ways to express
your love for your spouse daily.
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Give your spouse a gift of verbal
encouragement and your marriage
will flourish.
There is no time like the present to give your
spouse some emotional validation; start
today.
Fortnight for Freedom
Sunday, June 29, 2014
4 pm at St Mary’s Cathedral, St Cloud
Holy Hour with Bishop Donald Kettler
Successful Sex Preselection using Natural
Family Planning
[Article Author]
Some couples enjoy the excitement of trying
to specifically conceive a boy or a girl. With
God’s grace and the Billings Ovulation
Method, they are often able to do so with
great success. To learn NFP, visit
www.stcdio.org/omf/nfp or call Sheila at 320252-4721. Following is part of the abstract
from a study published in 2011:
“Abstract: The objective of the study was to
test the hypothesis that gender can be
preselected by timing coitus in relation to
ovulation, the marker of ovulation being the
Peak
symptom according to
the Billings Method. A
blind prospective
study of 99 couples
wishing to preselect
the sex of their child
was conducted in
Nigeria, using the
Post-Peak approach of
Billings Method for
males and Pre-Peak
for females. Research co-ordinators
examined the ‘post-conception’ form within
four months of conception. This form
recorded the timing of coitus prior to
conception, and from this, the sex of child
was predicted. 94 of the couples had a child
of pre-selected sex showing a method
success of 94.9%. 78 of 81 predicting a male
were successful (96.3%) and 16 of the 18
predicting a female (88.9%)…The study
indicates that where comprehensive
instruction is provided, the sex of a child can
be preselected with a high degree of
confidence by timing coitus, using the PostPeak approach of Billings Method for males
and Pre-Peak for females (Afr J Reprod
Health 2011; 15[1]: 79-84).” To read the
complete study, visit:
FOR MORE INFORMATION
http://www.bomausa.org/docs/Sex_selection_Nigerian_trial_AJR
H.pdf
TWO BY TWO
| May 2014
5
HUMANAE VITAE AWARD NOMINATION
Discipline: No Surprises
by Carey Casey
One of the biggest challenges for fathers is
correcting and disciplining our children. And
in today's busy times and with so many
outside forces competing for our children's
attention and allegiance, training our kids
has never been more important.
In the moment, we want them to obey us,
stop fighting with each other, or maybe
avoid destroying property. But we know
discipline has a bigger purpose: we want our
children to end up as responsible, caring
adults who are prepared to thrive in the
world.
Why is a plan so important? Because it sets
clear boundaries and expectations for your
children: “When you do this, this is the
consequence.” As a father, when your plan is
fully developed, no situation will catch you
(or your child) by surprise. You won’t find
yourself negotiating with your child or trying
to think of appropriate consequences; the
plan is in place.
Furthermore, you can relate to your child
with empathy instead of anger, since the
plan is what is making his life difficult, not
you.
Proverbs 3:11-12 provides a good perspective
on the attitudes surrounding the disciplining
of our children: “My son, do not despise the
Lord’s discipline and do not resent his
rebuke, because the LORD disciplines those
he loves, as a father the son he delights in.” It
might seem odd to connect love and delight
with discipline, but it’s very appropriate. Love
for our children motivates us to see the
bigger goal of our discipline—long-term
responsibility—and we can do it without
being harsh.
Keeping a Warm, Close Connection
I have been thinking about this groundbreaking insight, and I believe there’s more I
can do to help you apply this in practical
ways with your children.
For example, what is a “warm” relationship
with your child? What does it look like? How
can you tell if you have one?
I was talking with another dad on our staff
about this, and our discussion led to
questions like, What’s the atmosphere when
you’re together? Are you approachable as a
May 30th Deadline!
dad? Is there a general feeling of easiness
and acceptance, or tension and distance?
All relationships go through seasons where
we feel more distant or more comfortable
being together. But I think you probably
know the overriding mood between you and
your kids.
I think this is a real challenge for dads. If we
aren’t giving our children our very best as
fathers, it isn’t ideal for them as they go
through life.
Nominate your candidate for the 2014 Humanae vitae
Award!
Do you know someone who shows great courage
promoting the teachings of Humanae vitae in ministry,
education, or witness? Submit your nomination by
writing a descriptive essay (500 words or less). Visit
www.stcdio.org/omf/nfp more information. Send or fax
your nomination by May 30, 2014 to: Office of Marriage
& Family, Natural Family Planning Advisory Committee,
305 7th Avenue North Suite 100, St. Cloud, MN 56303 Email: [email protected] Fax: 320-258-7658 The
Humanae vitae Mass and Award Reception will be July
24, 2014.
Passing on Our Values
What’s the best way to pass your values to
your children? I know that’s a huge concern
for many fathers. One of my top goals as a
dad is that my children would embrace the
faith I have tried to live out. And even if
religion isn’t your thing, today’s message still
has a big insight for your fathering, so please
keep reading.
In the recent book Families and Faith: How
Religion Is Passed Down Across Generations,
Vern Bengtson presents some eye-opening
discoveries about “religious transmission.”
Based on his research involving more than
3,500 people whose lives covered more than
a century, he found that “the pivotal factor”
in whether children continue their parents’
faith is a strong bond with their father.
When it comes to training kids in matters of
faith and morals, we might typically think of
teaching them right from wrong,
emphasizing obedience to specific rules and
expectations, and being a reliable role model
for right behavior.
But Bengtson found that, while all those
things are significant, they aren’t sufficient if
there isn’t a strong emotional bond between
the parent and child. A warm, close
relationship with one’s father makes the
most difference in regard to passing on
beliefs and values—even more than a good
relationship with one’s mother.
The same also appears to be true in
nonreligious families: a strong emotional
father-child bond creates the best chance for
transmitting beliefs and values on to the next
generation.
Natural Family Planning
Instruction
Learn the Billings Ovulation Method today!
St. Cloud: June 5 at 6:30 PM
Little Falls: June 3 at 7:30 PM
St. Michael: June 3 at 6:00 PM
For additional sites, information and to register
Visit www.stcdio.org/omf/nfp or contact
Sheila Reineke 320-252-4721
[email protected]
Mary’s Coronation
May Devotions to the Blessed Virgin Mary refers to
special Marian devotions held in the Catholic Church
during the month of May honoring the Virgin Mary as
"the Queen of Mary.”