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Sober News - Autumn 2013
sober NEWS New York Inter-Group Office 307 Seventh Avenue, Room 201 New York, New York 10001-6007 (212) 647-1680 (914) 949-1200 (212) 647-1648 Fax www.nyintergroup.org [email protected] upcoming events Exchange Meeting Public School 41 116 West 11th Street @ Sixth Avenue New York, NY 10011 SEPTEMBER 7TH 7am New Inter-Group Delegate Workshop Public School 41 116 West 11th Street @ Sixth Avenue New York, NY 10011 SEPTEMBER 7TH 10am Inter-Group Delegates’ Meeting Public School 41 116 West 11th Street @ Sixth Avenue New York, NY 10011 SEPTEMBER 7TH 11am Corrections and Treatment Facilities Committee All Area Meeting New York Inter-Group Office SEPTEMBER 9TH 7:00p.m Group Relations Committee Meeting New York Inter-Group Office SEPTEMBER 10TH 6:30pm Autumn 2013 Dear Readers: Look—Sober News has gotten bigger! The response has been so overwhelmingly positive that we have added two brand new features. First is our letters page, entitled Sober Notes. Second is Delegates Debrief, our report on the Quarterly Inter-Group Delegates Meeting. Check them out and let us know what you think. We are so excited but we still need your input. We need your letters, your stories, and most of all your experience, strength and hope. We know that there are great AA stories out there in the five boroughs of this great city. Now is your time to share them. Got a great group history or the OLDEST step shade? Send us a photo. We want to see it and share! Have a great fall season and see you on Nov. 2. The Editors Westchester Service Opportunity New York Inter-Group still needs a volunteer to serve as the Westchester Area Representative. This service commitment offers an opportunity to be part of NY Inter-Group’s Steering Committe and to chair the Westchester Area Forums. This is a two year term commencing on July 1, 2013. Answer Phones at New York Inter-Group One year of continuous sobriety required. Call or come by the New York Inter-Group office for an orientation upcoming events Continued From Page 1 Westchester Corrections & Treatment Facilities Committee Meeting Grace Baptist Church, 52 South Sixth Avenue Mount Vernon, NY 10550 SEPTEMBER 10TH 7:30pm Bridging The Gap Committee Meeting New York Inter-Group Office SEPTEMBER 11TH 6:30pm Corrections & Treatment Facilities Literature Packing New York Inter-Group Office SEPTEMBER 14TH 10am Spanish Language Corrections & Treatment Facilities Committee Meeting Spanish Inter-Group Office 2234 First Avenue @ 120th Street New York, NY 10029 SEPTEMBER 14TH 3pm Manhattan Corrections & Treatment Facilities Committee Meeting New York Inter-Group Office SEPTEMBER 19TH 6:30pm ALL QUEENS CORRECTIONS & TREATMENT FACILITIES COMMITTEE MEETINGS ARE CANCELLED UNTIL FURTHER NOTICE DUE TO LOSS OF MEETING SPACE. BRONX AREA FORUM CANCELLED IN SEPTEMBER sober NOTES _______________________________ Service, AA-style Thanks, Sober News, for your recent stories about service (“Brooklyn Girl” and “Being of Service”) in the Summer 2013 issue. A lot of people think of service as “AA politics” and those two articles defined the true basics of service, AA-style: making coffee, sweeping up cigarette butts, and working with another alcoholic one-on-one. I too, first felt like I belonged -- both in AA and in the world at large -- through service as it was described in your articles. Chelsea-Riverside in Manhattan was my first home group and as a newcomer I really took to mopping the floor after the meeting. It was a huge, tile floor and I couldn’t wait to get at it as soon as the Serenity Prayer was done. I even found myself watching out for coffee spills and sticky patches during the meeting itself, filing them away in my addled brain, for special attention later. So, now, 35 years later, I’ve got a new home group in Washington Heights -- one that doesn’t need the floors mopped, but they’ve got a lot of chairs! Somebody’s got to put those puppies away... So, if you’re lingering after the meeting, watch out. Those chairs are going to be disappearing fast. -Anonymous Experience, Strength, Hope and Poetry Recently I heard this really great speaker at the 46th Street Group in Queens. After telling his story, he read a poem that he’d wrote for the occasion. I was so moved that I went up to him afterwards and asked if he could email it to me. Then, after sharing it with all my sober friends, I asked him if I could send his work in to Sober News. It took some convincing but he agreed. Hope you enjoy it as much as I did. Dreams and Thoughts by Michael “Big Mike” Dillhunt A Dream or a Thought creates wants, wants creates goals, goals creates effort, effort creates motivation, motivation creates action, action creates willpower, willpower creates determination, determination creates success, success is a journey, a journey is a continuous process of turning Dreams and Thoughts into reality. Send your letters to: Sober Notes c/o New York Inter-Group Office 307 Seventh Avenue, Room 201 New York, NY 10001-3007 [email protected] Please specify whether or not you wish your full name printed. Welcome to the Fellowship Independence Group Riverside Temple 4545 Independence Avenue @ West 246 Street, Room 301 Bronx, NY 10471 Thursday Big Book Meeting 8pm Routes Group Phoenix House 164 West 74th Street, First Floor Btwn Columbus & Amsterdam New York, NY 10024 Tuesday Beginners’ Meeting 7pm Delegate’s Debrief by Michael B. At 11am on Saturday, June 8th, 2013, Inter-Group Delegates from A.A. groups across the five boroughs and Westchester assembled at Public School 41 on West 11th Street for their quarterly meeting with the Steering Committee of New York Inter-Group Association. Bill B., the current Steering Committee Chairperson, opened the meeting with the Serenity Prayer. After a brief reading of the minutes from the March Delegates Meeting, it was right down to business. First, there were some new faces to be introduced, including Chip, the new Manhattan Area Representative; Chassy, the new chairperson of the Corrections and Treatment Facilities Committee; and John F., the new chairperson of the Public Information Committee. Next, Parker F. encouraged the Delegates to pitch Inter-Group’s Anniversary Club to their groups during his reading of the Treasurer’s Report. Sadly, he revealed that, as of June 2013, New York Inter-Group was running on its Prudent Reserve. To help stem this tide, what he termed “modest price increases” would be added to the literature. Then came reports from all the different Area Representatives. Chip, from Manhattan announced that the Public Information Committee would be speaking to the next Manhattan Area Forum on August 6th. Barbara, from Brooklyn, informed the crowd that her newly elected replacement, Sara unfortunately could not be there, but would still be taking over for her at the September Delegates Meeting. Ralph, from Westchester, made a plea for more participation at Westchester Inter-Group. Tom, from Staten Island, talked about his their annual bus trip to Stepping Stones. Amy, from Queens, asked for suggestions on how to drum up support for the Queens Area Forums. The next ones were to be held on the third Saturday of July, September and November. She also introduced her newly elected replacement, Melissa P. Carl, from the Bronx, thanked all the members of the Planning Committee for the 2013 Big Meeting for their hard work. After that came reports from the different sub-committees. The outgoing chairperson of the Corrections and treatment Facilities Committee asked for group donations to the CTFC Literature Fund. Dorothy, from the Telephone Volunteers Committee, asked the delegates to encourage their members to sign up to answer the telephones at the New York Inter-Group office. Elizabeth I., from the Group Relations Committee, announced the ratification of two new A.A. groups (see Welcome to the Fellowship on page 3). She also asked for more volunteers to help keep the Meeting List up to date. Next on the agenda was Lyle, from the Bylaws Committee. He announced that the revised bylaws for New York Inter-Group would be mailed to the Delegates in July and would be voted on at the September Delegates Meeting. Somewhere around 1pm, after announcing the date of the September Delegates Meeting, Bill B. called for a Motion to Adjourn. The motion was made and seconded, and the meeting was closed with the Serenity Prayer. upcoming events Continued From Page 2 Bronx Corrections & Treatment Facilities Committee Meeting St. Nicholas of Tolentine Fordham Road & Andrews Avenue Bronx, NY 10468 SEPTEMBER 20TH 7pm BONX SHARE-A-DAY Our Savior Lutheran School 1734 Williamsbridge Road @ Morris Park Avenue Bronx, NY 10461 SEPTEMBER 21ST 9am Westchester Area Forum First Baptist Church, Wilson House 456 North Street @ Bryant Avenue White Plains, NY 10605 SEPTEMBER 21ST 9:30am Brooklyn Area Forum First Unitarian Congregational Chapel 121 Pierrepont Street Btwn. Clinton Street & Monroe Place Brooklyn, NY 11201 SEPTEMBER 21ST 2pm Queens Area Forum Our Savior Lutheran School 64-33 Woodhaven Blvd @ 64th Drive Rego Park, NY 11374 SEPTEMBER 21ST 4pm Staten Island Corrections & Treatment Facilities Committee Meeting How Club 552 Port Richmond Avenue Staten Island, NY 10302 SEPTEMBER 23RD 7pm UPCOMING EVENTS Continued from Page 3 Brooklyn Corrections & Treatment Facilities Committee Meeting 103 Quincy Street, Basement Btwn. Franklin & Classon Avenue Brooklyn, NY 11238 SEPTEMBER 28TH 1pm Manhattan Area Forum New York Inter-Group Office OCTOBER 3RD 7pm Group Relations Committee Meeting New York Inter-Group Office OCTOBER 8TH 6:30pm Bridging The Gap Committee Meeting New York Inter-Group Office OCTOBER 9TH 6:30pm Corrections & Treatment Facilities Literature Packing New York Inter-Group Office OCTOBER 12TH 10am Spanish Language Corrections & Treatment Facilities Committee Meeting Spanish Inter-Group Office OCTOBER 12TH 3pm Westchester Corrections & Treatment Facilities Committee Meeting Grace Baptist Church Mount Vernon, NY 10550 OCTOBER 15TH 7:30pm 2013 BILL W. DINNER “A Good Time Sober” There something for everyone on Nov. 2 at the New York Hilton Hotel, 1335 Sixth Avenue at 54th Street. The afternoon event—which is free!—features the popular old-timers panel. This year each borough, and Westchester County, will be represented by one old-timer who will share his or her experience, strength and hope. Some videos will also be shown. The afternoon event is from tk to tk. The evening’s event is the annual Bill W Dinner, the only fund raiser for New York Inter-Group. Tickets for the dinner are $125 per person. Doors open at 6:45 p.m. and the dancing goes till 2 a.m. At press time, the committee, this year Brooklyn hosts the event, is busy finalizing the speaker selection and the menu. Evelyn K, chairperson of the event, offers some history to the dinner. “In the ‘40s, New York Intergroup didn’t have enough money so they suggested to Bill W to put on a dinner for his anniversary with the collection going to New York Intergroup.” Bill agreed. The first dinner took place at the St. George Hotel in Brooklyn in 1946. The dinner was held at the St. George until 1964 when the event moved across the river to Manhattan. It’s the 67th Bill W Dinner this year, though the event honors Bill’s 79th year of sobriety. Evelyn reports that the dinner table lottery held this June “was a big success” with about 2000 tickets being sold, as opposed to 1600 last year at that same time. The theme “A Good Time Sober” was voted on by the planning committee. “It was the one we preferred,” Evelyn says with a smile. There is still time to get involved, volunteers for the hospitality committee will be needed for the afternoon and evening events. Interested? Please call Evelyn K at 718 650-9743. Tickets for the dinner are available at the New York Inter-Group office. Call 212 647 1680. Come Enjoy the Bill W. Dinner Old Timer’s Meeting Free Afternoon Event New York Hilton Hotel Grand Ballroom, Third Floor Saturday, November 2, 2013 Starting @1pm UPCOMING EVENTS Lois’ 25th Anniversary All through A.A.’s history we have had people of the non-alcoholic variety give great support, aid and praise to us. Not just in A.A.’s history, but, I am sure that each and every one of us in reading this today also have those who do not suffer from this disease as we do, support us, and, without them, we might not be here today. That can be friends, co-workers, siblings, children, partner, husband or wife. In A.A.’s history, we have had the likes of, Dr. Silkworth, Rev. Sam Shoemaker, Henrietta Seiberling, Sister Ignatia, Rockefeller, Ruth Hock, Dr. John ‘Jack’ Norris, Nell Wing, just to name a few. I now ask, with this article, that we always honor one of the greatest supporters of this fellowship, Lois Wilson. Every year after Bills death, Lois, would read what is known as Bill’s Last Message at the Bill W. dinner. The last dinner she attended was in 1987. On October 5th 1988, at 97 years of age, Lois passed away. That makes this year, 2013, the 25th year of the passing of Lois Burnham Wilson, who was, as Bill W. said, one of the co-founders of A.A. Without this great lady in Bill’s life who knows what might have been? Who knows if he would have had the reason, facilities or strength to keep going? Lois was a force behind and beside him. She endured a whirlwind of headaches, heartaches, trials and tribulations with Bill during his drinking days. Then, after he sobered up, Lois believed in his work with our fellowship giving him the support he needed to plant and nurture the fledgling seed of A.A. She did it out of love, for her loved one. Michael Alexander, who in 1988 was the Chairman of the General Service Board, by the way another non-alcoholic, announced Lois death in a letter to the fellowship. It said in part: “In the early days the entire future of our fellowship and of countless alcoholics hung on the thread of the determination of Bill W and Dr. Bob to put Alcoholics Anonymous on firm ground. Lois Wilson is regarded by many as someone that, without whom, her husband could not have persisted in that crucial work. Bill referred to her as a ‘full partner’ on the struggles and joys of those early days.” So, to all those loved ones who stuck with us and support us, to Lois Wilson a person who has helped countless families with her work in AlAnon and for giving her unyielding support to Bill in bad and good times, for without her I feel, as Bill did and many others do, we would probably not have this g-d given program called Alcoholics Anonymous, I want to gratefully give a huge THANK YOU from us all!!!!!! Mitchel K. Greenwood Group, Brooklyn Continued from Page 4 Manhattan Corrections & Treatment Facilities Committee Meeting New York Inter-Group Office OCTOBER 17TH 6:30pm Staten Island Area Forum Immanuel Lutheran Church 2018 Richmond Avenue Btwn. Rockland Avenue & Signs Road Staten Island, NY 10314 OCTOBER 17TH 7:30pm Bronx Corrections & Treatment Facilities Committee Meeting St. Nicholas of Tolentine Bronx, NY 10468 OCTOBER 18TH 7pm Brooklyn Corrections & Treatment Facilities Committee Meeting 103 Quincy Street, Basement Brooklyn, NY 11238 OCTOBER 26TH 1pm Staten Island Corrections & Treatment Facilities Committee Meeting How Club Staten Island, NY 10302 OCTOBER 28TH 7pm Bill W. Dinner Old Timer’s Meeting New York Hilton Hotel Grand Ballroom, Third Floor 1335 Avenue of the Americas Btwn 53rd & 54th Streets New York, NY 10019 NOVEMBER 2ND 1pm upcoming events Continued from Page 5 bill w. dinner conference-approved video presentation New York Hilton Hotel Grand Ballrom, Third Floor New York, NY 10019 NOVEMBER 2ND 3pm Bill W. Dinner & dance New York Hilton Hotel Grand Ballroom, Third Floor New York, NY 10019 NOVEMBER 2ND 6:45pm Doors Open 7pm Dinner is Served Corrections & Treatment Facilities Literature Packing New York Inter-Group Office NOVEMBER 9TH 10am Spanish Language Corrections & Treatment Facilities Committee Meeting Spanish Inter-Group Office New York, NY 10029 NOVEMBER 9TH 3pm Group Relations Committee Meeting New York Inter-Group Office NOVEMBER 12TH 6:30pm Bridging The Gap Committee Meeting New York Inter-Group Office NOVEMBER 13TH 6:30p Celebrating 50 Years of Sobriety: Eileen from the Woodside Group Eileen is a beloved member of the Woodside Meeting at Saint Sebastian’s and frequents many meetings in Woodside and Sunnyside, Queens. Everyone knows her by her oversized floppy hat, flowing clothes and soft gentle voice. She celebrated 50 years in July. Sober News recently caught up with her. I don’t hear enough people talk about the slogans and the steps. I think they minimize it. ‘Oh they are simply things.’ The Serenity Prayer helps me immensely, but maybe it doesn’t strike a chord with young people. What happened when you moved to Queens? Congratulations! When I got a new job with the police is your sober date? department in Forest Hills for I can only say it was sometime the chief of detectives. I worked during the 4th of July Weekend on the switchboard. It was very inin 1963. I don’t know which day. teresting. I went to meetings that were on the bus line. I went to What was your first meeting? Saint Sebastian’s [Woodside It was the Carlyle Group. I remem- group] and 46th Street. [in Sunber the young men were wonderful- nyside] I could only go cerly dressed and they were happy. I was tain nights until I retired. impressed that everyone was happy. Do you ever get tired of meetings? What became your first home No because I find them interestgroup? Al-Anon House in Manhat- ing. What each person has to say tan. Bob was my first sponsor. I fol- is something new [to me]. The lowed him around and did anything he price is very small to go when you told me. I was there for about 12 years. compare to what we’d pay if we don’t go. It’s only an hour. The What was the biggest challenge for good that we do for ourselves and you in getting sober? It was getting for others is absolutely wonderful. there, finding it [AA]. But when I found it I felt complexly relaxing. Be3rd Annual fore I got there I was very nervous and Bronx and Upper full of anxiety. I stayed, thank God. Al-Anon House was open every day. Manhattan Spiritual Breakfast Did you ever meet Bill W or Lois? No, but I used to hear Sunday, October 20th about them all the time. 8:30am What are some of the differencEastwood Manor es between AA then and now? 3371 Eastchester Road Everything is psychological now. I Bronx, NY 10469 think the influence of therapy is a lit$23 Tickets Must Be tle too much, though I did get lots of Purchased in Advance help from doctors and social workFor More Information Plase Call ers. Also the influence of television John M. (347) 524-8501 is too pronounced. All that drama. of light coming from a projector set up in the back of the room. The room was empty, but there were a few rows of chairs set up and I inched out of the hallway into the darkness, the door clicking shut behind me. I made my way to a chair and sat down, breathing a sigh of relief just to be alone for a moment. How I Met Bill W. by Ames S. In 1978, I wasn’t sober more than a few months when I found myself wandering the hallways at the Hilton Hotel in the afternoon of the annual Bill W. Dinner. I didn’t have the money -- or the inclination at that time -- to attend the dinner, but somebody told me to go down there anyway and check it out. They had other stuff going on, he said, and it’d be good to learn as much as I could about AA, seeing as how it was currently saving my life. I wasn’t (and still am not) too big on hanging out with a crowd, but there was something different about this bunch -- a genuine excitement and heartfelt sense of enthusiasm you couldn’t miss. But it didn’t take long for me to start feeling alone, like an outsider -- feelings that had dogged me into sobriety and still persist, even to this day. I could feel myself starting to shut down emotionally and out of habit I began looking for an escape route. To get out of the hallway traffic, I pulled open a meeting-room door. It was dark inside, but there was a flickering A little grainy, and with that herky-jerky aura of old-timey cinema, a film was playing on the screen against one wall. A man sat at a kitchen table, with an oldstyle coffeepot in front of him, facing the camera and talking in a steady, calming voice. As I sat alone in the room, acclimating to the dark, relaxing into the chair as the sounds from the hallway faded away, I realized that I was sitting in the room with Bill Wilson, the man in the film. Unbeknownst to me, part of the free afternoon activities before the Bill W. Dinner included -- and still do -- showings of the video “Bill’s Own Story.” For me, it was the first time I had even seen a picture of Bill, though I had been sober for a couple of months, and listening to him talk about his own story and the collective struggles of early AA, I felt a part of that story for the first time, and believed as I had never believed before, that there was a place for me in this universe. The film was on a loop and I sat through it a second time, like a dry sponge soaking up water. In the interim, a few other solitary souls slipped into the room, in silence, much as I had, but by that time I was glad to have the company. In the many years since that afternoon, I’ve seen the film a number of times, but never has it affected me as powerfully as it did that day. So, that’s how I met Bill W--and it changed my life. upcoming events Continued from Page 6 Telephone Volunteers Committee Meeting New York Inter-Group Office NOVEMBER 14TH 6:30pm Bronx Corrections & Treatment Facilities Committee Meeting St. Nicholas of Tolentine Bronx, NY 10468 NOVEMBER 15TH 7pm Westchester Booking Meeting Memorial United Methodist Church 250 Bryant Avenue Btwn. North & Mamaroneck Avenues White Plains, NY 10605 NOVEMBER 16TH 6am Westchester Area Forum First Baptist Church, Wilson House White Plains, NY 10605 NOVEMBER 16TH 9:30am Bronx Area Forum Westchester United Church Bronx, NY 10461 NOVEMBER 16TH 11am Brooklyn Area Forum First Unitarian Congregational Chapel Brooklyn, NY 11201 NOVEMBER 16TH 2pm group history upcoming events Continued From Page 7 Queens Area Forum Our Savior Lutheran School Rego Park, NY 11374 NOVEMBER 16TH 4pm Westchester Corrections & Treatment Facilities Committee Meeting Grace Baptist Church Mount Vernon, NY 10550 NOVEMBER 19TH 7pm Manhattan Corrections & Treatment Facilities Committee Meeting New York Inter-Group Office NOVEMBER 21ST 6:30pm Queens Corrections & Treatment Facilities Committee Meeting Christ Congregational Church Church Hall on Ground Floor Woodhaven, NY 11421 NOVEMBER 21ST 7pm Staten Island Corrections & Treatment Facilities Committee Meeting How Club Staten Island, NY 10302 NOVEMBER 25TH 7pm Brooklyn Corrections & Treatment Facilities Committee Meeting 103 Quincy Street, Basement Brooklyn, NY 11238 NOVEMBER 30TH 1pm Gramercy Brotherhood Synagogue 28 Grammarcy Park South, 2nd Floor Mondays & Thursdays 6:30pm In 1956, an announcement appeared in a local newspaper stating that “The Gramercy Group of Alcoholics Anonymous will hold its first meeting on Wednesday, September 26, 1956 in the Parish House of St. George’s Church, 207 E. 16th St.” Thus was born our Home Group, Gramercy, first called the Gramercy 8:00 O’Clock Group. According to General Service Office Archives, meetings were held on Wednesdays and Fridays at 8 p.m. Meetings were open to all on Wednesday, but closed on Fridays. There were 60 members at that time. In contrast to the usual church basement, the first Gramercy meeting place was in the elegant quarters in the upper regions of St. George’s Church. It was soon nicknamed the “Downtown Lenox Hill’. Although St. George’s also had one of the first Al-Anon meetings, most of the wives of the AA members preferred to attend the Gramercy Opening Meeting, participating so vigorously in the Group, that one wife was nominated as Secretary. In 1959, Gramercy moved to the Church of the Epiphany on East 22nd Street, where it remained for the next 19 years, attracting a cross-section of members from the local community and the downtown area. In 1959, the AA Directory listed the group as the Gramercy Group, which remains our name to date. Then in 1978, Gramercy lost its Epiphany meeting place. Those were hard years for the Group—years that tested its spirit and its determination to stay alive and active. Gramercy members trudged up and down local streets and spoke with countless church officials and other community facilities looking for a new meeting room. The increase in the number of AA groups in the area had just about filled all of the available meeting places. Finally, the old 24 hour Club on East 23rd Street offered us space. The first meeting was Monday, October 30th at 8 30 pm. However, the dark, dingy room and the walk up stairs turned many members away. But the group soldiered on; and in a month or so, Calvary Church—which at that time also housed the TGIF Group—offered us meeting space. After three months, however, the Church decided that two AA Groups were too many for them to accommodate, so once again we had to find another place to meet. In September 1979, just when the situation seemed hopeless, Cabrini Hospital opened its door to us. Gramercy met there on and off for 29 years until the hospital closed due to bankruptcy. Our last meeting there was Monday, June 30, 2008. In July of that same year, Veterans Medical Center generously opened its door to Gramercy. When the hospital was forced to close its doors after Hurricane Sandy, we moved again to the Brotherhood Synagogue at 28 Gramercy Park South. All of us at Gramercy are very grateful to the many newcomers who have stayed with the group over the years. They remind us over and over again of the miracle that AA works! Cynthia C, Ethel K and Irene P.
