RA Softball League

RA Softball League
Predictions
August 2014
Hello EVERYONE!
Fishtales was lured by summer holidays, and we’re
half-way or more into the season, but our annual
Predictions newsletter is back to poke some tongue in
cheek fun at our teams.
Stay connected with our
RA Softball Community!
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We’ve said it before, but if you’re the type to get bent
out of shape for being ribbed on,
you probably want to skip these predictions entirely.
If you can handle some good-natured, irreverent
joking at your expense, read on!
Some teams may end up playing in another division
come playoff time, but these predictions cover the
divisions as they stand now.
We expanded the number of teams for an eighth
consecutive season and we now have
126 teams and over 1,800 players playing.
See you around the diamonds.
League Co-Ordinator.
YOU CAN FIND LEAGUE STATS AND SCHEDULES
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SLO PITCH AQUA A
SLO PITCH AQUA C
The top five of six all can win, with Body is a Shield,
BIAS, to winning more often. The Jokers, having plenty
of ‘batmen’, are ‘robin’ teams of runs, and have ‘riddled’
their way into the pack. T-Ballers are playing grown-up
games except when they’re wearing Wacky Outfits. The
Grasshoppers, as quickly as they can, are trying to snatch
wins out of everyone else’s hands. Toxic, who are new to
the league, are right in the mix polluting the pool.
Tough call here! Four teams have a legitimate shot at the
crown. I’d Hit That Two is always looking for what appeals
to them and right now, that’s first in the standings. But
the Havana Dogs seemed to have found the right level to
play at after being mongrels the past couple of seasons.
And the Ruthless Babes don’t want to take pity on
anyone.
Unfortunately, the Outlaws were stripped of their guns
when they walked into Dodge, and look to finish in the
division’s jail.
Grasshoppers won it last year but they’re going to
hop over the championship this season and won’t be
repeating. Body is a Shield will try to protect a win and
is going to play against T-Ballers. The T-Ballers are going
to grow fast and find themselves champions once again,
winning it in the 3rd game on an unforced error.
While they can’t get no Batisfaction at .500, this team
won’t challenge for the title this year.
Feedbag, new to the league this season, unfortunately
is fodder for the other horses ahead of them in the
standings; while the Sneaky Slammers are blatantly
giving up too many runs.
Says here the crown’s beauty is going to entice I’d Hit That
Two to talk sweet to her and bring her home.
SLO PITCH AQUA B
SLO PITCH AQUA D
Last year we picked those Sons of Pitches to win, but the
Sons of Pitches let us down, so we aren’t picking them this
year.
Pat Casey sits alone atop the division and we can
remember the times when they were barely able to win
a game. That’s what happens when you stick to it. Pitches
Be Crazy are right on PC’s heels, and it would be nuts to
write them off as possible champs.
The Babes they may be, but they’re in the wrong division
and their 7-0 record would be better suited for the ‘A’ level.
The Breaking Bats are busting out with a 5-2 record and
there are no splinters in their D, either. We also have the
Mighty Ducks who have a quacky mix of talent; the Brown
Sox whose offense is dirty in a bad way; and the Capital
City Ninjas who are like turtles on their backs. There’s
nothing stealthy about the Ninjas bottom-placed position.
We’re calling the Breaking Bats with new lumber, will
defeat the Mighty Ducks in two straight, as quacked as
that is.
The RA’s
With three new teams in the league, Hendry Warren
Current Liabilities, who have the right stuff but are still
adjusting to new surroundings, Team OConnells, who
could use some luck of the Irish, and We Got the Runs,
too many of them in the ‘Against’ department, are all in
a learning curve and won’t threaten for a championship
this year. And Those Guys are in with these guys.
Champions will be Pat Casey when they beat Pitches Be
Crazy in Game 2 by four runs.
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SLO PITCH ORANGE A
SLO PITCH ORANGE D
“More rain, please!”
Right now, Bats Outta’ Hell have the platinum hit with first
place solidly covered. Inglorious Batters are hoping to
smash their way to the top and carve their initials into the
crown, and outside of them, the other teams don’t look
ready to challenge for prime time.
All of the Tuesday night Orange divisions suffered a
month of non-playing thanks to Mother Nature and our
beloved Canada Day, but we’ve managed to play half a
season to date.
Lumberjacks ‘toque’ over first place for now, but perennial
hard sticks Woodies are right behind, poking their bats
at them. Meat Lasagna have filled their plate, as well,
and want to ‘pasta’ the other two; while The Closers are
keeping the door open. Veterans XYZ would be an alpha
bet to win, and Sidewinders are slithering through a
tough season.
Until someone proves me wrong, we’ll see two of the
strongest teams in our entire league hooking up for a
colossal battle with Woodies and Lumberjack playing in
the Finals.
Woodies win it in the third game on a grand salami in the
bottom of the 8th.
SLO PITCH ORANGE B
Unfortunately, the ‘B’ group haven’t even played half
a season, so it’s still a little early for this, but we’ll do it
anyway.
Max’s Moaning Mooses finally seemed to be cow-calling
to the right partner, first place and a very good season so
far. But everyone else is showing signs of life, with “Pitch,
Please!” begging to play, The Walk Offs needing to get on,
Deloitte Dynamos looking to explode, the Grass Stains
trying not to wash out, and Infield Flies with runners on
2nd and 3rd and no wins.
This could be the year Moaning Mooses rutt their way to
the championship. They’ll play “Pitch, Please!” and win it
in the 3rd game by a 10-7 score
Tragically Unprepared still are; Short Bus can’t carry
enough; Beerzookas are bombed; and Deloitte Dragons
have already been slayed.
Bats Outta’ Hell may need to play up a level for the
playoffs, which leaves Inglorious Batters to clean up.
SLO PITCH BROWN A
This is a three team race. Already eliminated are Les P’Tits
Counes, R.G.L.B.P. and, dang it, Tang-IT.
The Dingers are hitting it out of the park, while Minor
Leaguers are finally playing major league again. Ice Cold
Pitchers are trying to freeze out the other two, and hope
to chug from the chalice.
Dingers and Minor Leaguers are going to see each other
in the Finals with the Dingers, after a struggle, repeating
as champions when they win in Game 3 on a two-run
double by their fourth male in the batting order.
SLO PITCH BROWN B
This division is another 3 and 3, with three teams
contending and three team forced to play cheerleaders.
From the sidelines, we have the Tornadoes who, at .500,
seem to be twisting in the wind; Ball Handlers whose
defence treats the ball like it’s a hot potato; and Lowered
Expectations who are playing up to their name.
Another division who’s not quite at the half-way point,
but it looks like three teams have the inside edge.
Amazingly, after 5 games, all the teams are within 5
RF with each other, so if this trend continues, it will be
defense that will determine the champions.
On the ‘Hey, we have a shot at it’ side, we have I’d
Hit That, who’s eyeing that crown like it’s a piece of
meat; Ghostballers who are scary good on D; and, in
a continuing climb to the heavens, good ole Funky
McMonkies. The Funky M’s and their uncle currently sit in
first place, and have gone from a team that couldn’t win
when they started in the league, to Champions of the
‘D’ div last season, promoted from the ‘C’ this year, to top
chimp at the moment. Can those chimps be champs?
In that case, the edge has to go to Fouled-Balls and The
Rivals. The crystal ball is cloudy, but through the murk we
see The Rivals wining the crown when they tag the lead
Foul-Balls runner out at third.
It looks as though it will be Ghostballers and the Funky
Bunch in the Finals, with the Ghostballers haunting the
McMonkies Mcdreams. Ghosties win on a dropped fly ball
to centre field.
SLO PITCH ORANGE C
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SLO PITCH BROWN C
SLO PITCH
This is the tightest division in the league and it’s a pure
guess on who’ll win the championship.
This is a very well matched division and five teams have a
legitimate chance at being champions.
Brew Jays could drink it up, Young Guns could blast to the
top, Brass Monkeyz Old School could throw a frat party,
Hard Bats Soft Balls could pop up to the top, and the
Hitmen could do a job, all and any of which could win the
crown. Unfortunately for the Pharm Team, they seem to
be too sedated to join the party.
The Lush Puppies have a sobering 7-2 record and lead
the pack, but are followed closely by Minor Imperfections
who is a small glitch of a point behind. La Meute are right
there in the pack, while Body is a Shield have no bias as
to who they want to beat; and SAMCRO are ‘riding in this
world, but aren’t all alone’. The Swingers II want out and
are looking for the keys to get back into the ‘B’ division.
Young Guns and Old School are going to meet in a
generational battle, with the Guns winning in a shootout
after Old Schools possible winning run stumbles coming
around third.
SLO PITCH BROWN D
The Badabings badabanged out of the gate, and the
Upper Deckers in the lower tier, are both sitting up high.
The Designated Drinkers are stumbling around like
they’ve had one too many, while Incognito are in disguise
as contenders. Moutons Noir is having some baaaad
results, and the Blue Ballers need some relief from their
0-fer season to date.
Upper Deckers look good enough to move up to ‘C’. If
they don’t, they’ll be champions.
Minor Imperfections are going to have a major
championship when the beat Lush Puppies in the Finals
of Game 3 by scoring a 4-run, top of the 7th inning
comeback.
SLO PITCH
No one’s a favourite here. The Tie Fighters are winning
more than losing; the Brew Jays II are guzzling up enough
points to stay very much in the roost; Purple Penguins
have waddled their way to near the top; Brass Monkeyz
balls are on the plus size of RF/RA, but are their bats solid
enough to carry them to more scoring? The Diamond
Dusters need to clean up all parts of their game; and
Kichesippis Kids, while they make sweet tasting beer,
have brewed an ugly O-fer record to date.
“Offence puts people in the stands, but defense wins
championships” so we’re going with Purple Penguins to
wear the championship tux.
SLO PITCH
Four of the six teams are new to the league and it seems
the Brawlers have the best fighting chance at winning it
all. But the Incredi-balls are lurking like a quiet bunch of
superheroes just waiting to be called upon to save the
championship for themselves.
Then there are the Bal der Dashers, oh, come on! Filthy
Animals, whose record is a pig’s pen; The Runs, who
defecated all over the RF department; and Alcoballix, who
need a 12-point program just to get them back in the
hunt.
If the Brawlers aren’t moved up, they win it. If they are,
then the Incredi-balls will win the championship for all
the world to see.
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SLO PITCH BLACK A
3 PITCH “A”
Any one of five teams can win the championship. Mo’
Runs, have that in the RF / RA department; Closers are
shutting the door on anyone beating them; Diamond
Cougars are scratching out lots of runs; ITAGPROMO.com
are finding creative ways to stay in the hunt; and Homers
II are .500 but need to up the long ball quotient.
Brady Wheeler, rest his soul, would be proud as punch
to see his namesake crew sitting on top with an
unblemished 8-0 record. But they might need a little
divine help before it’s all over.
Unfortunately, the Dirty Diamonds are a mess, and will
need to wait until next season to clean things up.
Mo’ Runs and Diamond Cougars will meet up and this
year, “Mo’ Mo’ Mo’, how do you like it, how do you like it?”
Mo’ Mo’ Mo’ Runs will win the championship.
SLO PITCH BLACK B
It’s a one horse race right now with Pitches Be Loco
insanely holding the reins. There are three ‘maybe’s’,
with Smoking Aces needing to decide if they’re going
all in, NavCan Storm checking the Doppler to see if clear
weather is ahead, and Hungry Hippos willing to chew up
the opposition, but are they good enough to win it all?
Ballnado are as good as the movie they modelled their
name after, and it would take a lot of different ways to kill
the sharks above them if they wanted to win the crown.
And the Sluggers have hit it way out of the park, the
opposite way! The only ‘downtown’ they’re going is to the
bars.
Pitches Be Loco are a lock unless they get moved up and
if that happens, Nav Can Storm are going to find the nice
weather on the top of the mountain.
SLO PITCH AMBER
Bee Atchs, with a no-loss record to date, are a dirty
word to everyone else in the division. But Where
My Pitches At are finding the plate with more wins
than losses, and can challenge for the crown. The
Rivals II also appear to be a team that could pull off a
championship, too.
Capital Orthotics Hooligans play footloose and fancy
free and are the bad boys when it comes to reporting
their scores, so we aren’t really sure how they’re doing;
Begonias are in the hunt and waiting to bloom; DD & G
has programmed their software to stay in the mix; and
B.Poulsen (We Got the Runs II), and B-Team are ‘B’ teams
and will likely play in that level come playoff time.
C.T. Brady Bunch and Cap. Ortho Hooligans will meet up
for the Finals with the Brady Bunch one big happy family
when they win the championship once again. Brady’s will
cruise to a 16-12 win in Game 2.
3 PITCH “B”
This is a 5-team division that will have 7 teams come
playoff time, but it won’t matter as it looks like
Underhanded will keep everything above board and win
the title.
Here for Beer may show up to taste some suds from the
cup, but they’re going to have to keep those hopes in
the cooler for this year; Base Side Tigers occasionally
show some claw, but they’re too tame to roar to a
championship; Pitch Slapped get smacked around so
much, we aren’t sure if their uniforms are blue or if that’s
just bruising? Red, rover, red rover, someone send a win
on over!
And poor ole Capital ‘A’ Amateurs are O-fer to date, but
didn’t have any lofty expectations coming in. They’ve got
a great attitude, and on the bright side, they may set a
record for the biggest negative differential in RF / RA in
the past decade. So they have that going for them!
We already called it, Underhanded will play it straight and
be the champs, knocking off Here For Beer in three games.
Roger Dorn’s are sort of out of reach, and it doesn’t
look like they’re willing to dive for it; the Bag
Stompers can’t put their foot on it; Foul-Balls need
to manscape the RA; Suds, Buds & Windmills are
struggling to score; and new friends and teammates,
Blue Devils have yet to conjure up a win, but have
heart.
Bee Atchs are going to sting everyone and win the
championship.
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