eBay merchant rakes in cash by ripping off our boat club • TCS

Transcription

The
"The torture of the mind to
lie in restless ecstasy"
Female succession is long
overdue
Insomnia, p16
Comment, p11
CambridgeStudent
Thursday, 3rd November 2011
Michaelmas Issue Six
BOAT RACE RIP-OFF
eBay merchant rakes in cash by ripping off our boat club • TCS reveals all
Some examples of the Cambridge University Boat Club crests on fake clothing from eBay
Zoah Hedges-Stocks
Co-Editor
TCS has uncovered a lucrative trade in
counterfeit Cambridge University Boat
Club stash.
Hackett have been the official clothing
sponsors of the Boat Race for six years.
As well as kitting out our boys in their
trademark Cambridge blue wellies and
fleeces, they also sell a range of Boat
Race-branded clothing in their shops.
A CUBC-branded rugby shirt costs
£80 on the official Hackett website,
but an eBay seller has been selling fake
versions of their luxury shirts at prices
as cheap as £14.99.
At present, the seller, wc1-direct, has
78 items for sale, all being passed off as
genuine Hackett products. If his entire
stock sold for the auction prices at the
time of going to print, it would cost
£1539.29, not including postage and
packaging. TCS believes that we have
identified the seller, and traced him to
an address in Norfolk.
Hackett told TCS that their
clothes have been faked before. Their
spokesperson said: "The world of
counterfeits is an occupational hazard
if you become a successful clothing
brand and we are no exception. We do
take this problem very seriously with
regular counterfeiters being taken to
court, but it is becoming increasingly
more difficult with the internet playing
a major role in helping the felons."
Ebay said: "We take copyright
infringement seriously and work with
brands and rights owners to take action
where there are reports of suspicious
items."
It would seem that the fake seller is
attempting to trade off Hackett's prestige
as a luxury brand and CUBC's record
for sporting excellence. A spokesperson
for the Boat Club said: "Obviously the
race is expensive to run and relies on
sponsors. It's a shame that some people
might buy these inferior products
believing them to be the real deal."
"Not convinced on
the authenticity"
Although at first glance the seller
might seem reputable, a closer look
reveals that some customers have
realised that they were being duped.
One eBay user commented, "Not
convinced on the authenticity of the
item. Impolite!" Another left feedback
saying that the seller was a "liar",
"unfriendly" and "very aggressive".
The counterfeit clothes are clearly
poor quality, but one of the most glaring
errors - surrounding the CUBC lion
with an incongruous Oxford belt - was
in fact a deliberate, if baffling, choice on
the part of the Hackett designers.
In justification, the company said:
"While we understand that the Oxford
crest sits within a belt, so do a lot of
other institution's [sic] crests and we
felt it was not too exclusive to Oxford
to prevent us from this design. On the
contrary to your understanding, the
shirt did prove very popular, but we
have withdrawn it along with many
others to keep the designs fresh."
Counterfeit clothing is big business:
the Rogers Review estimated that
UK criminals made £1.3 billion from
intellectual property crime, which
includes counterfeiting, in 2006 alone.
People who sell counterfeit goods
can face fines of up to £5,000 and
imprisonment.
TCS has informed Hackett, eBay and
the Trading Standards Authority about
the fraud.
IN THE NEWS
Degrading is degrading
Disabled
Students
Campaign
proposes to reform the process of
degrading
Page 3
Cambridge Armed Forces accused
of "exploiting" UEA students’ fears
Attempt to ban Cambridge
University armed forces from
recruiting on UEA campus
Page 4
Tourist tax for Cambridge city
centre?
Cambridge councillor calls for hotel
taxes to keep tourist visits short and
save the city's heritage
Page 4
The
CambridgeStudent
Thursday, November 3rd, 2011
02| Editorial
THE CAMBRIDGE STUDENT
THIS WEEK
THE TEAM
Editors in Chief: Michael Yoganayagam & Zoah Hedges-Stocks - [email protected]; Design Editor: Linda Wang - [email protected]; Magazine Editor: Abi See - [email protected];
Photography Editor: Devon Buchanan - [email protected]; News Editor: Judith Welikala - [email protected]; Deputy News Editors: Tessa Evans, Alice Gormley & Emily Loud - deputynews@
tcs.cam.ac.uk; International Editor: Ben Richardson - [email protected]; Interviews Editor: Nicholas Tufnell - [email protected]; Comment Editor: Eleanor Dickinson - comment@tcs.
cam.ac.uk; Satire Editor: Matt Lim - [email protected]; Features Editors: Lianna Francis, Alice Gormley & Nicholas Tufnell - [email protected]; Music Editors: David Moulder & Zoe Holder [email protected]; Film & TV Editors: Jess Stewart & Florence Smith Nicholls - [email protected]; Theatre Editor: Laura Peatman - [email protected]; Sports Editor: Olivia Lee - [email protected].
ac.uk; Deputy Sports Editor: Ollie Guest - [email protected]; Illustrator: Clémentine Beauvais; Sub-Editors: Adam Clark, Connie Fisher, Ken Meyer, Laurence Tidy; Web Editor: Mark Curtis; Board
of Directors: Mark Curtis (Business), Dan Green, Harriet Flower, Zoah Hedges-Stocks, Michael Yoganayagam [email protected].
INTERNATIONAL
EDITORIAL
For an issue as serious as degrading,
one would expect the University
to enforce a clear and transparent
policy across all colleges and
departments. Unfortunately, the
degrading system is too often a
murky one, at the whim of opaque
college authorities and University
committees. TCS therefore welcomes
the initiative Degrading is Degrading
being run by the Disabled Students’
Campaign, which aims to pressure
the University into reforming
the way in which intermittency is
handled.
The problems facing students
who wish to degrade are numerous.
More often than not, students are
forced to remain outside Cambridge
for the duration of their leave, and
sometimes not permitted to
return to visit their friends. In the
most extreme cases, students have
been verbally abused and even
fined for failing to collect mail from
pigeonholes they were technically
not allowed to visit.
Perhaps more worryingly, the
University is now mooting plans
to restrict students from degrading
more than twice in all but the “most
exceptional” of circumstances. It is
likely that this will prompt students
to continue courses when far too ill,
and possibly even at a cost to their
health.
Considering the stringency of
many of the University’s rules, the
logic behind them is pretty ropey.
Geographical exclusion, for instance,
is justified on the grounds that
those who stay amid Cambridge’s
libraries and other resources have an
unfair time advantage over normal
candidates. Follow that logic and it
is unclear why international students
and others who choose to spend their
holidays here aren’t penalised for the
privilege.
There are many areas to improve.
The degrading process must
prioritise the needs of the individual
rather colleges’ bureaucratic interests.
It is a disgrace that some colleges
still ask their students to degrade
on the grounds of illness when
their real concern is poor academic
performance. The Application
Committee, the board of Tutors
which approves degrading appeals,
UCAS plans admissions overhaul
Emily Loud
Deputy News Editor
The Universities and Colleges
Admissions Service (UCAS) has
published proposals this week for the
complete upheaval of the university
admissions system. Under the plans
now being considered students
would apply for university after
taking their A-Level exams, and the
whole process would be condensed
into a few summer months.
The current system, which students
will recall begins for Oxbridge
applicants during the summer after
AS Levels, is one of application,
interview, offer and post-results
acceptance. As a result, university
offers are made on the basis of
predicted grades, a problematic
system when only 51.7 per cent of
all predictions are accurate, with 41.7
per cent being over-predictions.
These new measures are being
considered after UCAS has
condemned this process for being
“complex, lacking in transparency for
many applicants and inefficient and
cumbersome for [universities]”.
A-Level examinations would be
scheduled earlier in the year and
students would then apply after
getting their results in July. Students
would only be allowed to apply to
two institutions as opposed to the
five options available to them at
present. University courses would
also all start in October in order to
allow more time for the processing of
applications.
However, it remains to be seen how
the new system will accommodate
the interview and offer process
for Oxbridge, although fears have
already been voiced across the board
about the impracticality of processing
all university applications in weeks
when they are used to a gap of seven
to ten months between application
and acceptance.
The University has declined to
comment in detail, but a spokesman
told The Cambridge Student that
the University and colleges will be
carefully considering proposals, but
that will take time and so they cannot
make any comment at this stage.
Support among politicians has
been more forthcoming. David
Willetts, the Universities Minister,
said that the government would be
open to the plans, saying: “Making
is also in desperate need of a student
representative.
Cambridge must be praised
for offering the very existence of
the degrading system. Too often
at other institutions are students
forced to drop out or continue with
a course they are presently unable to
cope with. Despite this, degrading
remains a process geared towards the
University’s own interests. It is easy
to see why colleges may find catering
for students who drop back multiple
times frustrating, but the relative
impact of any decision will always be
greater on the student than on any
administrative body.
The problems with degrading
are severe but not insoluble. Quite
simply, degrading needn’t be.
the university application process
simpler and more efficient would
be good news for students. It is
important that applicants understand
how the system works and that any
unnecessary burdens on institutions
are removed.”
Shabana Mahmood MP, Labour’s
shadow Universities Minister, also
welcomed the move, saying “We
welcome the UCAS consultation on
proposals to reform the applications
system and its efforts to remove the
uncertainty of applying to university,
allowing students to apply based on
the grades that they have actually
achieved as opposed to applying
based on guesswork.”
Consultation into the plans opened
on Monday and conclusions will be
presented in January.
NEWS BULLETIN News in Brief
University funding of CUSU set
to double
University funding of the Cambridge
University Students’ Union (CUSU)
could be set to rise by 81%, as CUSU’s
application for a ‘block grant’ goes
before a University Committee on
Friday. CUSU is currently the only
University Students’ Union in Britain
to not receive a block grant from its
University.
The Committee for the Supervision
of the Students’ Unions will meet
to consider CUSU’s application for
a block grant of £277,276. While
55% of this sum is money CUSU
already receives from the University, the block grant proposal would
give CUSU discretion over how this
NEWSPAPERS
SUPPORT
RECYCLING
Recycled paper made up
80.6% of the raw material for
UK newspapers in 2006
money is spent - at the moment,
how the money is spent is specifically prescribed by the University.
Furthermore, CUSU would receive
new University funding of £123,791
– an 81% increase in the University’s
funding commitment to CUSU.
CUSU President, Gerard Tully,
commenting on what the extra funding could mean for CUSU, told TCS:
“We are hopeful the committee will
consider the merits of our arguments
and grant our request for relatively
modest funding. With the money, we
could really expand the successful access schemes we’re doing, safeguard
the ongoing work of the Student Advice Service, and potentially ease the
burden on Colleges having to pay us
very high affiliation fees.”
Vice-Chancellor given award by
Polish government
Charlie Gilmour’s appeal rejected
Professor Sir Leszek Borysiewicz,
Vice-Chancellor of the University
of Cambridge, was awarded the
Bene Merito distinction by Foreign Minister Radosław Sikorski
on Monday, in recognition of his
actions to promote Poland’s image abroad. Sikorski said: “We are
pleased not only because one of the
oldest universities in the world has
a Polish Vice-Chancellor but also
that he works towards the Polish
presence at British universities and
supports the idea of establishing a
Polish Department at Cambridge,
which we would all very much
wish.”
Judges at the Court of Appeal have
ruled that the 16 month prison sentence handed to Girtonian Charlie
Gilmour was not “unduly harsh”.
Gilmour was found guilty in July of
attacking a royal convoy and a shop
in Oxford Street after gaining fame
for being photographed swinging
from the Cenotaph at the anti-fees
protests in London last year. Judges
at the Court of Appeal ruled that the
judge was “entitled to come to the
conclusion which he did”. They added that the penalty “correctly took
account... of the defendant’s serious
and dangerous acts in this inflammatory context”.
The Cambridge Student is published by Cambridge University Students’ Union. All copyright is the exclusive property of the Cambridge University Students’ Union. Although The Cambridge Student is affiliated to the University Students’ Union we are editorially independent and financially selfsufficient. No part of this publication is to be reproduced, stored on a retrieval system or submitted in any form or by any means without prior permission of the publisher.
In the wake of Cristina
Fernandez’ re-election,
Laurence Tidy reflects
on the politics of Latin
America
p.8
INTERVIEWS
Alice Roberts talks
about her experiences
with Time Team and the
BBC
p.17
OPINION
Introducing our new
columnist, Charlotte Wylie
p.19
FILM AND TV
Scary films - TCS reviews
the creepiest ones out
there...
p.22
The
CambridgeStudent
Analysis: Life goes on?
Tessa Evans
Deputy News Editor
Cambridge students greeted news
that Cindies and Life are likely
to survive the Luminar administration until the end of term
with joy this week. However, as
Britain’s largest nightclub operators, the faiure of the company
has had wider implications.
The closure of 11 Luminar venues around the country was announced today, leading to the loss
of over 300 jobs and meaning that
the survival of Cambridge’s night
life is still not certain.
The venues listed for definite
closure include Brighton, Hemel
Hempstead and Swindon. The
Northhampton Lava & Ignite venue
where 22-year-old Nabila Nanfuka
was crushed to death last month
has also been closed after having
its licence suspended after the
incident, However, Ernst & Young
said that the decision to close it was
related to the venue’s poor trading performance rather than the
tragic incident.
The company, which is in charge
of over 70 nightclubs nationwide,
including the Liquid and Oceana
to cheese. These managers were in
mid-forties
to
early
fifties,
they
couldn’t
have been more out of touch with
what ‘the kids’ wanted.”
The company employs over
3,000 full-time and part-time staff
across their clubs, and it is unclear
as yet whether more jobs will be lost.
Alan Hudson, the joint administrator, said that the closures leave a core
of profitable clubs which have attracted interest from a number of
potential buyers.
“Luminar concentrated on
money over it’s customers
and the experience they were
giving.”
Hugh Osmond, the entrepreneur
behind Pizza Express, has expressed
interest in investing in at least
50 of the 75 clubs, although an offer
would be contingent on keeping
the group’s operational infrastructure.
However, Luminar’s staff have
been left in the dark on their
job stability. Sophie Sneddon, a Law
student who works for Oceana in
Birmingham, told The Cambridge
Student; “I asked my manager if it
was worth me looking for another
job just in case and he said no,
whether or not that was because he
didn’t want to lose anymore staff
in the meantime I don’t know.”
Jimmy Appleton
300 jobs set to be lost
as 11 venues closed
chains, has been plagued by scandal for years. In 2006 it was the
involved in a landmark court case
when a bouncer contracted by
the company punched a customer and caused significant brain
damage.
The company has also been
criticised over its endorsement of
irresponsible alcohol promotions
in its Newcastle venue Liquid &
Envy.
The recession has also had a
large impact on the business.
According to a report published by the Financial Times,
the group owes approximately
£85m to Lloyds TSB, Barclays and
RBS. Climbing youth unemployment and rising student expenses
have been highlighted as reasons for
the company’s nationwide financial
underperformance. The smoking
ban
and
the
summer riots have also been
suggested as potential factors.
However, some staff have argued that the financial decline
can be attributed to a fall in quality. One Luminar DJ, posting on
an online forum said; “Luminar
concentrated on money over its
customers and the experience they
were giving” and argued “I saw
the massive change from running
decent nights in about year 2000,
to a company wide approach that
assumed everyone wanted to listen
News |03
Students launch campaign
to reform degrading
Judith Welikala
News Editor
The Disabled Students’ Campaign
(DSC) has launched the Degrading
Is Degrading Campaign to overhaul
the system of degrading across the
University.
Criticism has been leveled at the
inconsistent approach to degrading
in different colleges, as well as at
the fact that it is currently the students’ responsibility to prove they
are unwell enough to degrade, and
well enough to come back.
At an Open Meeting at Sidney
Sussex last Monday, members of
the Campaign unanimously agreed
to petition the University for a more
uniform system for degrading.
The final decision regarding
whether a student can degrade is
currently made by the Applications
Committee, which is made up of
a board of tutors. It is one of few
University committees lacking student representation.
The campaign began after concerns were raised about students
who had degraded being banned
from living in Cambridge or visiting friends in college. The petition calls to: “Remove any and
all restrictions of movements of
students, not requiring students to
leave Cambridge or for Cambridge
based students to be banned from
their college.”
The Committee stipulates that
it “would only permit a student to
live in Cambridge in a very limited range of circumstances.” The
policy has been defended on the
ground that students might gain an
unfair advantage with access to libraries and resources over students
who have not intermitted.
The term ‘degrading’ is also being disputed for its negative connotations. The petition calls for degrading to be replaced with a more
neutral term such as ‘intermitting’.
It also calls for closer communication with the Disabilities Resources Centre regarding students
degrading for medical reasons,
since at present they are not notified when these students return
to Cambridge, making continued
counseling more difficult. Beyond
this it prevents students receiving
disabled support or anything covered under their Disabled Students
Allowance. The DSC has questioned the legality of this, given
the University is required by law to
enact the Disabled Student Allowance wherever reasonable.
The Applications Committee outlined plans for tighter restrictions
on continued degrading, stating:
“Only in very exceptional circumstances will permission be granted
for more than two years.”
Between 2009 and 2010 over
300 students at the University of
Cambridge degraded from their
courses.
The highest percentage
of world leading research
of any UK university
lse.ac.uk/Cambridge
11_0758 Student Ad CambridgeV2.indd 2
07/10/2011 15:43
The
Record attendance for Festival of
Ideas
A record number of people have
attended Cambridge’s Festival of
Ideas this year, organisers have announced. The festival, which concluded this weekend, boasted an attendance of 12,000 people, a rise of
one third from last year. Audiences
gathered at nearly 190 events over a
12-day period, most of which were
free. The event was launched in
2008 and has featured a number of
high-profile speakers since beginning, including Richard Dawkins,
Michael Morpurgo, Jacqueline Wilson, David Starkey and Lord Rees.
Cambridge station closure may
prove disruptive
A £16.7 million revamp of Cambridge train station is in danger of
threatening students’ travel plans.
The station was closed on Sunday
October 30 and there will be no
trains all day on Sunday December
4, Network Rail has announced.
Some students fear that the planned
closures will disrupt plans to travel
home for the Christmas vacation,
particularly those who are going
on the Varsity Ski trip. No further
closures of the railway are scheduled prior to the completion of the
project in December, which will
provide two new platforms and increase station capacity.
Cambridge Colditz survivor dies
Colonel Peter Storie-Pugh has passed
away peacefully at the age of 91.
Among the first British POWS to be
imprisoned at the infamous camp,
he was found guilty of unrelenting
attempts at escape. Whilst still at
Colditz, Colonel Storie-Pugh occupied himself completing his studies,
sat his final exams and was awarded
his BA in Natural Sciences while
still a POW. After six weeks’ leave he
started studying for his PhD. He was
awarded the MBE for his activities
at Colditz and later became a Cambridge University don and President
of the Royal College of Veterinary
Surgeons, for which he was awarded
the CBE.
Students turn to apprenticeships
The number of people taking up apprenticeships has nearly doubled in
the last academic year, with 442,700
apprenticeships being started as opposed to 279,700 last year. Business
secretary Vince Cable said: “The
government will continue to improve and strengthen the apprenticeships program to drive up standards.” Research has also revealed
that the number of apprentices aged
over 25 trebled. This indicates that
those already in work are benefting
from the training, rather than that
employers are creating new jobs for
young people as envisioned by the
government.
Exclusive: UEA Student Union attempts to ban
Cambridge University armed forces societies
Judith Welikala, Tessa Evans and
Emily Loud
The University of East Anglia (UEA)
Student Newspaper Concrete has
revealed that Norwich based members of the Cambridge University
Officer Training Corps, Cambridge
University Air Squadron and Cambridge University Royal Naval Unit,
found themselves subject to a motion at UEA Student Union demanding the society’s membership
should be subjected to a campus
wide recruitment ban.
While the motion did not pass,
the piece highlighted ongoing student concerns that the motion
will reappear on the agenda at the
next meeting of the Student Union Council. Membership to these
Cambridge University societies
often extends throughout the East
Anglia region. The UEA Student
Council motion outlined a number
of reasons to prevent the societies
from recruiting, including the UEA
Students’ Union’s alignment with
the Stop The War Coalition. The
motion was subsequently amended
to demand that recruitment activity
of these student groups should be
restricted to the UEA Careers fair
and exclude their presence from
the Union Freshers’ Fair.
Concrete reported that the motion accused the Cambridge OTC,
Air Squadron and RN Unit of employing a membership recruitment
strategy based on “economic conscription” and accused the groups
of “deliberately exploiting the fears
many students have of increasing
fees and low levels of graduate employment, and is both misleading
and unethical.”
Speaking exclusively to The Cambridge Student, the commanding
officer for Cambridge OTC Colonel
Pollington said, “Cambridge UOTC
which has included the University
of East Anglia (UEA) since 1981,
welcomed the failure of a motion
on Thursday 20 October to ban its
presence at Union Events.
We should like to reiterate to all
students at UEA, with whom the
OTC enjoys considerable popularity, that it is dedicated to developing personal and leadership skills
in university students and offering them life opportunities which
would otherwise not normally be
within reach. The role of the OTC
is not to recruit into the Armed
Forces but rather to introduce those
attributes which Army officers depend upon for their success.”
In contrast, a Cambridge graduate who declined to be named, said,
“Army recruitment is a totally unethical and untenable activity; it
plays on the hopes, fears and aspirations of young people, often
preying on the poorest and most
underprivileged elements of society. Army recruitment uses a mixture of glamorous images, machomasculine ideals, and promises
of education and skills which the
youth of today are so desperate for,
but are increasingly denied access
to by devastating government cuts
to education. It is through such tactics that young people are drawn
into a life of brutality and trauma,
which, far from preparing them
for a positive life-long careers, has
astoundingly negative impacts on
their lives.”
great numbers of tourists, almost four
million
visiting
Cambridge
every
year,
saying
“without
strong
policies
to
stabilise or reduce tourist numbers, the character of the city and its
amenities, especially in the peak
season, will continue to deteriorate.”
However, Hipkin’s plans have
proved controversial as Councillor
Neil McGovern, the head of tourism
for the city council, responded by
stressing that Visit Cambridge’s focus
was already on “value, not volume’’
tourism.
He said: ‘’Visit Cambridge works
hard to maximise the economic impact of our four million visitors each
year while also working to reduce any
detrimental impact on the city as a
result of these high visitor numbers.’’
Shara Ross, general manager of
Hotel Felix and chairman of the
Cambridge Hoteliers’ Association,
agreed “I would hate to single out
tourists as being the cause of any
deterioration of the city centre. The
population has expanded, so that will
inevitably have a toll on the way the
city centre operates.”
Councillor calls for “draconian” tourist tax
Emily Loud
Deputy News Editor
Councillor John Hipkin, former
mayor of Cambridge, called for ‘draconian’ measures to minimise tourist
overcrowding in the centre of town
on Monday. These plans would involve heavily restricting central areas
such as King’s Parade which have become “no-go” areas for residents.
Short-term tourism would be
discouraged through a “tourist tax”
on hotel bills, the proceeds of which
would be used to fund public maintenance services, such as litter picking. Budget hotels would also be
restricted in an attempt to limit the
number of tourists staying for short
periods of time.
For those wanting to stay longer,
Hipkin has proposed a “Cambridge
Pass” which would allow tourists to
gain access to the city’s historical attractions such as colleges and museums. He also stated that the city’s
infamous punt touts should be “rigorously restricted”.
Hipkin justified his proposals with
reference to the damage caused by
www.CGPGrey.com
04| News
News in Brief
CambridgeStudent
Sixth form students take
fees fight to High Court
Victory for part-time
students’ campaign
Alex Jackman
Connie Fisher
Two sixth-form students have
taken the government to the High
Court in a challenge of the legality of raising tuition fees to £9000
a year. Kate Hurley and Callum
Moore have presented the case on
the grounds that the fee rises indirectly discriminates against students from poorer backgrounds
and ethnic minorities, and so contravenes the European Declaration
of Human Rights.
The case begins a week after
UCAS announced that UK university applications had fallen by
12% since last year, with medical
students and Oxbridge applicants
having submitted applications before the 15th of October.
Sam Jacobs, of Public Interest
Lawyers, the firm representing
Hurley and Moore, said in a website statement, “The rise in tuition
fees is, quite obviously, hugely significant. Yet the regulations were
proposed, considered, and made in
Parliament in a matter of weeks. It
is astonishing that it was thought
appropriate to make such an important decision in such a rushed
manner. In these circumstances
it is not surprising that there has
been a woeful failure to give “due
regard” to promoting equality of
opportunity”.
“This has been a
woeful failure”
This company has a history of
challenging the government over
contentious issues; last year, they
began action against the Metropolitan Police in response to the use
of ‘kettling’ tactics against students
protesting against tuition fee rises.
Two campaigners who studied
as mature students at Churchill
College have succeeded in their
campaign to change the Education
Bill’s regulations regarding loans
for part-time courses. Previously,
part-time students have been unable to borrow the full cost of their
tuition fees, but this will be amended
from next year so that they can loan
the complete fees just like full-time
students. They will also become eligible
to make repayments from four years
after commencing their studies, rather
than the previous three.
Cambridgeshire county councillor Dr Belinda Brooks-Gordon
and former county council Liberal Democrat leader Baroness Sal
Brinton have been working together
to prevent discrimination against parttime students. Brooks-Gordon said
she “was determined that part-time
students, many of whom are single
parents, mature students or disabled,
should not be discriminated against in
the loans system.”
Although all of Cambridge
University’s undergraduate courses
are full-time, 40 per cent of undergraduates across the country
are studying for part-time courses.
Universities minister David Willetts said: “Employers particularly
value graduates who already have
experience of the workplace, which is
why making part-time study more accessible is so important.”
This comes as the latest UCAS
figures for the ongoing application period for courses starting next year showed
a dramatic drop in mature student applicants, many of whom apply to study
part-time. Overall, when compared to
this time last year, figures for all applicants have fallen by 9 per cent, but for
applicants aged 19 or over there has
been a 19.2 per cent drop.
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The
06| News
News in Brief
Cobra Beer peer says student
visa changes are “nonsense”
The government’s proposal to
slash student visas has come
under fire from Lord Bilimoria,
this week. The cross-bench peer
and businessman reportedly
said “here’s something that gives
us a competitive edge in the rest
of the world and we try and cut
it”. The plans are part of an effort to prevent international students from entering into education with the ulterior motive of
bringing their families to the
UK, Sky News suggests.
According to the latest UCAS figures for the ongoing university
application period, the number of
arts school applicants has fallen
by 27% compared to figures from
this time last year. However, UCAS
has warned the numbers are only a
guideline and that the final figures
will be released in January. This
dip in applications could be down
to grim employment prospects for
art students, since one in three arts
school graduates are still unemployed three years after graduating.
Wheelie bin fires could be fatal
Naked taxi driver driver wreaks
havoc
The recent behaviour of Cambridge
taxi drivers pales in comparison
with the antics of their Russian
counterparts. A drunk taxi driver
was caught in the nude by police
in Moscow following a rampage
in which he smashed into 17 cars.
He also narrowly avoided hitting
a school bus. City police became
aware of Vitaly Grodi’s erratic
driving after he ignored a road
sign and refused to stop. The taxi
driver told police he was unhappy
and had decided to get into his cab
following an argument with his
girlfriend.
Muslim students accuse Catholic University of
violating human rights
Alice Gormley
Deputy News Editor
Muslim students at the renowned
Catholic University of America have
spoken out against a perceived failure
on the part of the institution to accommodate their faith, the Daily Mail
reports.
The discontented students produced
a 60-page dossier detailing their grievances, which the Office of Human
Rights is currently investigating, after
claims the University’s neglect constituted a “violation of human rights”.
Included in the complaints were
accusations that education chiefs
had actively banned the formation of
a Muslim student group, and that a
prayer room free of Christian symbols
had not been provided.
Claims from representatives of the
institution that the University’s Catholic traditions means it welcomes students from other faiths have failed to
comfort the student accusers.
Numerous Muslim students have
described the ubiquity of “wooden
crucifixes, paintings of Jesus and pictures of priests and theologians” in the
college as “inappropriate”. Others felt
the presence of the imposing campus
Cathedral – the Basilica of the National Shrine of the Immaculate Con-
ception - in the area in which they
regularly meditated, to be a particular
provocation.
Defending the students, John
Banzhaf, attorney and professor at
George Washington University Law
School, told the Daily Mail, “Muslims… do have to pray five times a
day and to be sitting there trying to do
Muslim prayers with a big cross looking down or a picture of Jesus or a picture of the Pope is not very conducive
to their religion.”
Banzhaf also expressed a concern
over sexual discrimination against
students.
The students claims about the controversy have been contested. Patrick
Reilly, president of the Cardinal Newman Society, an organization which
promotes Catholic identity among
Catholic schools, asserting that he
“doesn’t expect” a Catholic University to provide for Muslim students,
in the same way a “Jewish institution
shouldn’t be responsible for providing liturgical opportunities for other
faiths.”
In a similar vein, an MML student
who does not wish to be named,
commented, “It strikes me as incongruent that an explicitly Catholic Church is being attacked for
upholding its faith”. She added “tolerance is non-negotiable, but this defeats the point.”
Former Cambridge student takes her first leading role
Anthi Karavaggelis
Rebecca Hall, actress and former
Cambridge student, is set to appear in her first leading role in
‘The Awakening’, a British-made
ghost story set in 1921. She plays
a young author, sent to investigate a haunting, who is out to
disprove the claims of the spiritualists that were so compelling
in the wake of the First World
War and the 1918 flu pandemic.
When asked why she accept
ed the role, she admits that she
wanted to play the lead, as well as
the chance to do some “runningand-screaming acting” instead
of the “subtle, ironic chats’” she
usually had to do in her films.
Hall
studied
English
at
St. Catherine’s for two years, during which time she starred in
various plays, including Macbeth
opposite Downton Abbey star
Dan Stevens and set up her own theatre company. Despite describing
her time at Cambridge as “blissfully
UCU talks progress as
strikes loom
Loughlin Sweeney
The ongoing pensions dispute between university employers and
members of the University and
College Union (UCU) may be
approaching a resolution, as both
sides have agreed to convene talks
in early December to negotiate
the union’s grievances over the
Universities
Superannuation
Scheme.
Changes to the scheme, which
UCU calculates would result in its
members paying increased pension contributions and losing
thousands of pounds when they
retire, provoked the start of UCU’s
work-to-rule industrial action in
67 higher education institutions
around the country on 10 October.
David Goode, Vice-President
of Cambridge UCU, said that union members were “fed up with
the sham consultation exercise”
that was originally carried out
concerning the Scheme, and
“delighted that the employers have
decided to return to the table”.
However, he stressed, the talks are
not the end of the matter.
“We are continuing to work to
contract because the talks were only
our campaign’s first aim. The next
aim is to secure outcomes for the
pension scheme which are fair and
just. No-one is under any illusions
that this will be difficult, and both
the present action, and the threat of
an escalation in that action should
the talks not produce the desired
outcome, continue.”
The Employers Pensions Forum,
the employers’ negotiating body,
has welcomed the talks as a positive
step and will be aiming to ensure
the scheme remains affordable and
sustainable in the long term.
UCU
members
will
be
taking part in a one-day strike on 30
November along with other trade
unions to protest against attacks on
public sector pensions.
happy,” she dropped out before her
final year saying that she
“didn’t want the piece of paper.”
Hall has previously starred in
‘Starter for Ten’ alongside James
McAvoy, ‘Dorian Gray’ with
Ben Barnes and ‘Vicky Christina
Barcelona’,
for
which
she
was nominated for a Golden
Globe. She has also appeared in
various plays for her father,
Sir
Peter
Hall,
the theatre director who started
the Royal Shakespeare Company.
Getty images
Wheelie bin fires in Cambridge
city centre could lead to the death
of drunken revellers, it is feared.
City Council documents reveal
the concerns following a spate of
bin fires in the city centre. The
report highlights the potential
risk of fires in confined areas with
possible loss of life for drinkers
who have collapsed next to bins. A
Cambridgeshire Fire and Rescue
Service spokesman said, “If you
start a fire deliberately you have
no idea how that fire will spread or
what the consequences might be.”
NCinDC
Dramatic fall in arts school
applications
CambridgeStudent
Centre for Computing
History comes to Cambridge
Emily Wymer
The Centre for Computing
History is soon to be relocated to
Cambridge, thanks to a surprise
donation from across the Atlantic.
Brad Feld, an early stage investor and serial entrepreneur,
has provided welcome sponsorship for the Centre and Museum.
Co-founder and managing director of Foundry Group, a
venture capital firm
based
in Colorado that invests in
information
technology
and
innovative business across North
America, Brad first showed
interest in the Centre at a
Business Springboard event in
Cambridge earlier this year.
“The USA has a first-class
computer museum appropriately
situated at Palo Alto in Silicon
Valley. Cambridge is at the heart of
Silicon Fen, the UK’s, if not
Europe’s,
leading
technology
cluster. The city has played –
and continues to play - such a vital
role in the history of computing”,
he
told
Business
Weekly.
Other current sponsors of
the move include computer
companies
Red
Gate
Software
and
Arm
Holdings. The latter is descended from Acorn Computers, a
Cambridge
based
company
instrumental in early computer developments. Its legacy, the
ARM processor, is still used by
98% of mobile devices today.
The Centre for Computing
History is currently located in
Suffolk, a location which has
proven to be inadequate both in
terms of size and visitor potential.
Nicknamed ‘the Silicon Fen’
in a nod towards America’s
infamous Silicon Valley, the
Centre
considers
Cambridge
to be “the natural home for the
Centre of Computing History.”
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WE HAVE
OPTIONS
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Deadline for application: 6 November 2011
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Deadline for application: 12 December 2011
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Deadline for application: 12 December 2011
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complex challenges and fueling economic growth across
continents is what we do. We offer you a structured path
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(M/F/D/V) © 2011 Morgan Stanley
The
08| International
The World this Week
Palestine joins UNESCO
Palestine won membership to
UNESCO by a landslide vote of
107 to 14. In response, the Israeli
government announced plans
to accelerate its construction
programs in the West Bank and
freeze Palestinian tax money
collected within Israel’s borders.
Avigdor
Lieberman,
Israel’s
foreign minister, said that the “the
Palestinians pay for their deeds…
Israel must not keep being played
as the sucker of the Middle East.”
The US condemned the actions of
both parties.
Kenya targets al Shabaab
Kenya announced that it would
follow up its recent troop
deployment into Somalia with
air raids on bases used by the
al-Shabaab militia group. The
announcement follows reports
that al-Qaeda linked operatives
had received two weapons caches
from Baidoa, a rebel held town in
south-central Somalia.
magazine
The offices of Charlie Hebdo, a
French satirical magazine, were
firebombed after the publication
poked fun at Islam. The front
cover of the latest issue showed the
Prophet Muhammad claiming to
be a “guest editor”; other parts of
the magazine portrayed him as a
clown. The editor of the magazine,
Stephane Charbonnier, stressed
that Islam must not be excluded
from press freedom laws.
Ghana rejects Cameron’s call
for homosexuality reform
The President of Ghana, John Atta
Mills, rejected calls to legalise
homosexuality in Commonwealth
countries after David Cameron
threatened to withhold aid to
countries that did not show
reform. Mr Atta Mills claimed
that aid should not be tied to
things “that will destroy the moral
fibre of society.”
Julian
Assange
rejected
appeal
Julian Assange, the enigmatic
frontman of Wikileaks, lost an
appeal against a European Arrest
Warrant on suspicion of sexual
offences in Sweden. Assange
recently announced the temporary
shutdown of the whistleblowing
website citing financial concerns.
Comment: the changing fortunes of
Latin America’s leaders
Laurence Tidy
On Sunday 23 October, 54% of the
voting population of Argentina
said ‘Si’ to Cristina Fernández, reelecting her for an unprecedented
third term in government. Support
from young and rural voters
guaranteed a landslide victory for
the Peronist leader. Her campaign
slogan said it all: “Strength
Argentina”.
Cross the Northern border,
however, and a very different
picture emerges for the Bolivian
government. Recent developments
have given president Evo Morales a
vote of no confidence.
Elected in 2006, Morales is the
first indigenous president of Bolivia.
His success at the polls continued
in 2008 (67% of the country chose
to re-elect him) and in 2009,
with the passing of a constitution
that defended indigenous rights,
natural resources and limited land
ownership. It was the “end of the
colonial state”: Bolivia would be
“re-founded”.
But his image as a champion
of the indigenous people and the
United Nations’ “World Hero
of the Earth” has fallen short of
public expectation. Since June
this year, Morales has backed a
project to develop a 185-mile
highway, which would cut through
the Indigenous Territory of the
Isiboro Secure National Park
(Tipnis). In response, 2,000
indigenous men, women and
children marched to La Paz, the
capital. From his own experience
in Cochabamba in 2000, Morales
knows the importance of such
“street politics”.
Yet public support is plentiful in
Argentina. Despite a 25% inflation
rate, Fernández’s success is in
large part thanks to high growth
Presidencia de la Nación
French
satire
bombed
CambridgeStudent
forecasts, a reduction of inequality
and a cash transfer programme
for children in 3.5mn households,
amongst other factors. Fernandez
has also recreated her image. She
now appears more familiar and
more personal than before: in her
victory speech, she referred to her
late husband and former president,
Nestor Kirchner, stating he was “the
founder of this victory” and invited
her children on stage to celebrate.
It is figures like Amado Boudou,
the now Vice President-elect,
who have helped to rejuvenate the
government’s image: he claims
simply to “be myself ”, to share
his passion for rock’n’roll and to
change the public perception of
Rahm Emanuael
The United States of America
came fourth in the UN’s Human
Development Index but dropped to
23rd after adjusting for inequality.
Norway topped both the overall
and inequality-adjusted indices.
Britain dropped 2 places.
Vladimir Putin claimed that a
two-day old Russian baby was the
world’s seven billionth person. In
a bizarre race, claims to the title
have already been hailed by the
Philippines, India, Sri Lanka and
even the UK. The UN has not
commented on the shenanigans.
The leaders of Latin America
need to learn from Bolivia
and Argentina. Accusations of
corruption and the departure of
Cabinet ministers have plagued
Dilma Roussef ’s first ten months as
President of Brazil. Hugo Chavez,
now “cancer-free”, must be clear
to the Venezuelan people about
his future as president. Student
protests in Chile must also be
answered to.
To fulfil the hopes of the
people through democracy and
transparency is vital. As Cristina
Fernandez put it: “the people
value this: they value the capacity
their leaders have to answer their
problems”.
News: The world’s nuclear addiction
U.S. sags in UN Human
Development Index
Russia claims seven billionth
child
“lying politicians”.
Could
Morales
do
the
same?
The
fact
that
he
has now renounced his support for
the highway project is reassuring.
Morales has recently emphasised
the need for “a national debate”
and the importance of “obeying the
people”.
But there is still tension in his
government. Defence Minister
Cecilia Chacon resigned in
September due to the police
response, which included the
use of teargas, to the indigenous
protestors. When Bolivians went to
the polls on 16 October to elect the
country’s top judges, voting slips
were spoiled and some left blank.
Timur Cetin
Since their inception, nuclear
generation facilities have been the
source of accidents. Perhaps the
first serious incident was at Mayak
in the Soviet Union in 1957, when
a storage tank containing 50-100
tonnes of high-level radioactive
waste exploded, contaminating
swathes of territory in the Eastern
Urals and killing at least 200
people. This was given a level
six rating on the International
Nuclear Event scale, where seven
represents the most extreme of all
possible scenarios. Since then, two
level seven incidents have taken
place: Chernobyl in Ukraine and
Fukushima in Japan. Both have
necessitated large-scale exclusion
zones and the displacement of
people from their homes.
However, with Fukushima almost
half-forgotten and the economy
at the top of the agenda, it seems
that little has changed in Britain’s
energy policy. The UK currently
operates 19 nuclear power plants
which create roughly one fifth of the
nation’s energy. After Fukushima,
plans to build nine new nuclear
power plants were temporarily
shelved in order carry out a safety
review. It now seems nuclear power
is firmly back on the agenda: a list
of sites considered suitable for new
nuclear facilities was announced
in June. These include the existing
sites of Sizewell and Bradwell,
which both lie within 75 miles of
Cambridge.
Politicians on both side of the
house seem to agree on the need
for future nuclear plants. During
a talk at the Royal Society, Chris
Hune, the Secretary of State for
Energy and Climate Change,
explained that nuclear energy
was still a key component of
Britain’s future energy supply. He
stressed that nuclear energy “can
be a vital and affordable means of
providing low carbon electricity”.
In a similar vein, Labour MP
Frontbencher Jack Dromey said
in September that “the nuclear
industry is definitely a sunrise
industry”. He also claimed that a
Fukushima-type accident in Britain
was as remote as him getting hit by
a meteor.
Like Britain, other major
countries including the USA,
Russia, China and India are
planning to increase the number
of their nuclear power stations in
an effort to cut down on emissions
and satiate the growing energy
demands of their economies. Even
after Fukushima, a nuclear future
seems ever more likely.
The
CambridgeStudent
Comment: Unveil and Conquer
Sebastiao Martins
Steve Evans
Hibaaq Osman told the UN that
the only just cause for invading
During Algeria’s national strug- Afghanistan was the ousting of the
gle for liberation from French colo- (women) repressive Taliban renialism, the veiled Algerian wom- gime.
Some five weeks after the invaan - living under the roof of what
France deemed as an atavistic and sion, Laura Bush declared triumhighly patriarchal society - became phantly: “Because of our recent
one of the focal points of colonial military gains in much of Afghaniefforts attempting to justify and stan, women are no longer imprisoned in their homes. The fight
consolidate a foreign occupation.
As Frantz Fanon writes in against terrorism is also a fight for
A Dying Colonialism: “If we the rights and dignity of women.”
The moral legitimacy of this arwant to destroy the structure
of Algerian society, its capac- gument, which has been fashioned
ity for resistance, we must first of and refashioned year after year by
all conquer the women; we must politicians (e.g. Hillary Clinton)
go and find them behind the veil and women’s rights’ advocates (e.g.
where they hide themselves and Esther Hyneman) alike, is laughain the houses where the men keep ble. One need only recall the NATO
bombings which kill thousands of
them out of sight.”
With the war in Afghani- men, women and children every
stan entering its 11th year, we year, or the Western support for the
must ask ourselves if this is not Northern Alliance – which is well
precisely what has been hap- known for engaging in the killpening there. Has the alleged ing, raping and looting of Afghan
emancipation of Afghan women women as early as 1996 – to have
not been increasingly politicized a clear idea of the extent to which
to replace the goals of ‘democracy’ the West is genuinely concerned
and ‘nation building’ as the prime about ‘emancipating’ Afghan womjustification for maintaining for- en.
Despite this it is imposeign troops there?
Indeed it has. As early as 2001 sible to deny that this mesLaura Bush and Cherie Blair joined sage has been a successful form
 
hands to bolster domestic support of propaganda, as it was for France
for the war as an emancipation with Algeria and indeed for Britain
of women, while peace advocate with India.
International
Perhaps the climatic moment of
this ‘native woman question’ came
last year. Who can forget the photograph of the disfigured Aisha
splashed across Time Magazine’s
July edition of 2010, which went on
to win the World Press Photo Prize
of 2010.The cover title: What Happens If We Leave Afghanistan.
In it the woman depicted is ‘unveiled’, as it were, into an essence,
the stereotypical depiction of the
‘Third World woman-victim’. And
by essentializing the victim it essentializes the perpetrator.
And the perpetrator is not simply
the myth of the brutal Taliban that
must be suppressed at all costs, but
also the Muslim who embodies the
myth of Islam itself which, as Jocelyne Cesarie writes, “is depicted as
a dangerous ideology that encourages violence, terrorism and the
suppression of women”.
Ultimately, this reinforces the
widespread belief that there is
something inherently antagonistic
between Islam and the West. For
the latter, it is only through this opposition that it validates itself and
the need for its ‘civilizing mission’,
a West which naturally stands for
“enlightenment, humanism and
freedom” (CESARIE, Muslims in
the West After 9/11: Religion, Politics and Law).
It becomes clear then that Aisha,
|09
or any victimized Afghan woman
for that matter, is merely an instrument, essential for the West’s
mythical creation of the new Other
(i.e. the Islamic extremist/ Muslim
terrorist/ruthless Taliban), which
is crucial to the legitimization of
Western occupations in the Middle
East.
In reality the US occupation in
Afghanistan has had little to no real
effect on the improvement of women’s rights there. Furthermore, foreign presence there precipitated an
almost fourfold increase in Taliban
forces, rising from 7,000 in 2006 to
25,000 in 2009. How this is ushering in the ‘emancipation of women’
is beyond comprehension.
Having said that, First Lady Bush’s
triumphant statement should be
slightly changed to the following:
‘the fight against terrorism is also
a fight [against] the rights and dignity of women.’
Looking back on the death and
destruction which the NATO occupation has wrought, one is left to
wonder: what happens to the Afghan woman if we don’t leave Afghanistan? Should her path towards
dignity not be achieved through
independent struggle and aided
by human rights groups, instead of
being allegedly ushered – but really
thwarted – by a self-contradictory
Western military patron?

 
   







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The
10| Comment
CambridgeStudent
Comment Does prison really work?
As plans to increase the number of crimes punishable by a life sentence are unveiled, we ask is prison really the answer to crime?
Yes: The primary goal of prisons
is to protect the public; they
should be the priority, says Joseph
Sanderson
“Prison works” – it is an overused,
and frequently abused slogan.
It goes without saying that
prison is no panacea for all the
ills of society, or even all criminal
behaviour. But what too many people
forget in the debate about penal
reform is that some people are a
danger to their communities and to
themselves, and not all of them can be
rehabilitated. Too many dangerous or
repeat offenders serve too little time
– and for them, prison does work.
Dangerous
people should
be behind bars
Imagine a rapist – a man who
violently attacks women, and shows
little remorse. Recall that sexual
predators of this sort frequently
suffer from mental compulsions
and paraphilias which make them
likely to reoffend. Remember the
ongoing fear and trauma that the
victim suffers – which is assuaged
by the knowledge that her attacker is
behind bars and unable to harm her
more. How long do you think this
rapist should be in prison? According
to CPS guidelines, if the victim is an
adult, the normal mid-point is five
years. Given the rules governing
parole, that means he will be released
after around three years. That is not
enough.
The primary purpose of a
custodial sentence is to protect
the public from people who pose
a serious threat to them. For the
most violent, rehabilitation is a
secondary goal – the first priority
is to stop there being more victims.
Are the public protected if a thug
who intentionally causes grievous
bodily harm is sentenced to less than
a year in prison, as recommended by
the guidelines? No.
Prisons are legally required
to release prisoners at the
very latest after they have
served two-thirds of their sentence,
making the headline length of a
sentence a fraud: no-one ever serves
the full amount. That requirement is
the product of sentencing legislation
which focuses too much on the
welfare of the criminal and too little
on the safety of the public. Dangerous
people should be behind bars until
they are safe.
Given that the purpose of
prison is protecting the public,
it only works for people who pose
a danger. For minor offenders,
for example, a sufficiently severe
community sentence is enough
because it allows the perpetrator
to remain in contact with support
structures – family, friends and
jobs. Unlike murderers, thugs and
rapists, these people pose a minimal
threat to the community. Unless
dealing with a persistent offender
who shows no signs of reform, prison
is usually the wrong option for these
people.
Although it is not the answer to
everything, however, prison does
work: it keeps dangerous people
off the street, and for major crimes
it is appalling how short sentences
are. That is why Secretary of State
for Justice Kenneth Clarke’s “Two
Strikes” law, with life sentences
for repeat violent offenders,
is a good idea – it keeps the public
protected from ongoing threats to the
community.
But it isn’t enough: as long as
we keep letting rapists out after
a few short years, we are failing
to protect. It’s time to increase
sentences for serious violent
crime. Prison works – as long as we
keep the dangerous there for long
enough.
Expected prison
population in
England and Wales in
2017 (MoJ)
26%
Reoffending rate in
2009 in England and
Wales
(MoJ)
4 months
Planned mandatory
sentence for knife
crime
12,000
People currently
serving a life sentence
in the UK (BBC)
Dawn Endico
Joseph Sanderson is a third year
studying Law at Jesus
Vox Populi
Jamie Mathieson
95,000
They’ve just changed the royal
succession laws – to make them
more modern – so that girls will no
longer be passed over for boys. Wow.
Take it slow. Sometimes this column
just writes itself. Something jumps
up and down in front of you like a
hyper child screaming ‘satire! Satire!
SATIRE!’ Sometimes, I get carried
away.
I’m a younger sibling. As such, I
have always been like all younger
siblings: ridiculously oversensitive
about who gets the most attention
and affection. Esau and Jacob, David
and Ed: the elder sibling expects their
birthright from, well, birth, having
spent the earliest and most formative
bit of their life believing the world
revolves around them. But as the
Labour party decided, the principle
of ‘my turn’ doesn’t work for adults.
The younger sibling cries for their
birthright too, and by hook or by
crook – by deceiving our blind father,
or by making an unholy pact with
the Unions – we’re going to get it. It’s
messy, it’s painful…but would Fredo
Corleone ever have had a chance of
outwitting the Five Families the way
Michael did? Ok, bad example. We
all know how that one turned out.
Now, even the Queen – hardly
a bastion of progressive thought –
agrees discrimination by gender is
bad. But discrimination by age is still
fine. We agree that a woman can be
No: Serving time in prison will
not solve the root of Britain’s
crime problems, argues Aron
Penczu
Crime is dangerous. Many feel safer
in their beds knowing that thousands
of violent, unethical individuals
spend their nights behind bars.
But does prison work? The answer,
unfortunately, is no. Prisons are
often described by ex-convicts as
dark, hostile environments, and in
the UK they are constantly at risk of
overcrowding. A common fallacy is
that more people in jail means less
criminals on the streets. This is like
saying more people in jail means
less people on the streets, which is
problematic because since 1970, the
UK population has grown by about
12%, which is quite a lot by European
standards. Within that period, the
prison population increased by
117%.
We are richer and better educated;
we have iPhones and laptops, so
many things they didn’t in the 70s,
like Oprah Winfrey. But homicide
rates in England and Wales are still
well over 60% higher today than in
1970. Is this an inevitable feature
of society, or a reflection on failed
governmental policies? One thing is
certain: crime is built around groups
of people, not individuals.
I do not mean to say that drunk
fathers are responsible for their kids’
misdemeanors, nor that all murder
can be traced back to childhood. But
it’s no accident that 43% of prisoners
have family member convicted of
crimes; that 47% of male prisoners
had run away from home as a child
(the figure in the general population
is 10%) — or that around 70% of
prisoners suffer from two or more
mental disorders. That compares
with 5% for men and 2% for women
in the general population. Jailing
these people is like dealing with
teenage pregnancies via compulsory
abortions instead of handing out free
condoms.
So much for the root of crime. But
what does jailtime do to the criminal?
Well, for one, it puts him into contact
with a large group of prisoners.
Youths shut away for dealing weed
or ecstasy can emerge as hardened
criminals with a network of ex-cons
at their fingertips.
Small wonder, then, that in 2009
the reoffending rate for adults
serving short-term prison sentences
was 57%. Part of the problem,
here, is that ex-convicts have
trouble finding jobs.
Though prisons increasingly offer
education and rehabilitation, it is
up to individuals to take advantage
of these opportunities, and the
sooner prisoners can look forward
to being free the less incentive
they have to invest in their future.
Social stigma is a powerful force,
however, and it can take a decade to
wipe a 10-month sentence from one’s
record.
Human
beings
construct
legitimacy largely by relying on
the people around them. This is
why drug addicts rarely indulge
alone, and why 40% of young men
in jails in England and Wales are
from ethnic minorities. The recent
debacle with the riots demonstrates
how we are failing future generations,
and putting rioters behind bars is not
a long-term solution.
Of
course,
handing
out
free education or free moral
compasses
is
not
quite
so easy as handing out free condoms.
But it costs £40,000 a year to keep a
prisoner in jail: more than the average
salary. I suspect taxpayers wouldn’t
mind that money being spent on
keeping future criminals out of jail.
Crispin Blunt, Prisons and
Probation
Minister,
recently
announced the introduction of
“tougher sentences” that “properly
punish offenders while addressing
the root causes of their behaviour”.
This is a nation that is tripling its
higher education fees, one in which, in
2009, twenty-one colleges at its most
prestigious universities — Oxbridge
— took no black undergraduates.
How can we even pretend to be
addressing the root causes of crime?
as good a monarch as a man. But
William is automatically considered
better than Harry by virtue of being
born first. Just as Edward VIII was
clearly a better King than George
VI, that infamously immature and
irresponsible cad.
Isn’t discrimination by age just as
arbitrary as by gender? A younger
sibling would say that, of course. But
wouldn’t it be better to give the crown
to whichever sibling is most suited
for it, rather than plotting out the
life of an infant before it’s even been
born, weighing down their emotional
development with the burden of
expectation, their fate planned from
the cradle? Doesn’t that leave people
stunted and craven…like Charles?
This is the beginning of the end for
the British monarchy. Seriously, it is.
Historians in a hundred years will
see 2011, not 1997 or 1936 or 1789,
or anything else, as the turning point.
Once you’ve started messing with the
rules, why stop? Why not just choose
which sibling we like most? Why not
consider the cousins too, if one of
them takes our fancy? What about
relatives by marriage? I’d take Queen
Pippa over Queen Zara or Eugenie
anyday. She’s more legitimate than
Henry VII ever was. So…why not
just have Joanna Lumley, or Jamie
Oliver, or Stephen Hawking? David
Bowie? Michael Palin? Brian Blessed?
Maybe we could change it round
every couple of years. We could have
an election. Blimey. Sometimes, I get
carried away.
Aron Penczu is a first year English
student at Emmanuel
The
CambridgeStudent
Comment
Female succession is long overdue
Jess Burrows
to misrepresent a historical event
whose various objectives centred
on an effort to replace a Protestant
monarch with a Catholic one. Anyway, was the Armada not defeated by
one of the most successful monarchs
this country has ever had- a womanElizabeth I?
In a far more pertinent example
from our own time, Philip Mountbatten gave up his own royal titles in
Greece and Denmark when he married our heir presumptive, Elizabeth
Windsor. Furthermore, the Royal
house did not become the House
of Mountbatten when Elizabeth II
acceded to the throne, as if she had
taken her husband’s last name on
marriage, but remained the House
of Windsor. Clearly, it is not beyond
the wit of those who organise these
things to manage them favourably.
The objections that have been
raised to these constitutional changes stem from thinking that is illinformed, out-dated, or patently
ridiculous. It is true that this much
heralded new ‘equality’ applies only
to those privileged few who happen
to be born into the Windsor family.
I would be more than happy to learn
that the institution of monarchy itself
was up for debate. But in the meantime, it is impossible to argue that giving females equal rights with males in
the succession is anything other than
entirely right and long-overdue.
Jess Burrows is a third year Historian
from Murray Edwards
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Building, Trumpington Street, followed by a drinks buffet during which you’ll be able to informally meet some of our team.
Please email [email protected] or [email protected] to register your place.
Audrey Pilato
Last week, female members of the
Royal Family were finally given
equality with men in the rules of succession, over-turning centuries of
gender discrimination at the heart of
our constitution. Bothered? No, nor
was I much. After all, this particular
glass ceiling isn’t exactly what’s stopping hundreds of plucky young
women from reaching the top job
of Head of State. To a great extent,
tinkering with the monarchy in the
name of equality is in itself a pretty
risible endeavour.
However, while the changes didn’t
fill me with enthusiasm for a blow
struck for women’s rights, they certainly did seem both timely and
necessary. Irrelevant, perhaps, to the
woman on the street, but nothing
that anyone could object to. How
wrong I was. Astonishingly, there do
seem to be those who feel that allowing women to succeed ahead of their
younger brothers would have implications not only for the succession to
peerages and landed estates (and why
not?), but that it would actually risk
destabilizing the crown itself.
I am shocked that such a claim
should be made during the reign of
a queen who is surely living proof of
the fact that a female sovereign is no
misfortune. Elizabeth II is one of this
country’s longest-reigning and bestloved monarchs. She has travelled
widely in the Commonwealth, she
has taken an informed interest in gov-
ernment business, and she has seen
her country through the supposedly
male preserve of war. It is impossible
to see how being female in any way
disadvantages a constitutional monarch of the modern era, whose duties
no longer entail physically leading an
army into battle or subduing rebellious peasants.
The concerns raised by those who
contend that a queen regnant will destabilize the crown are not borne out
by historical precedent. A common
complaint is that husbands bring
with them agendas and complications that a woman marrying into the
Royal family does not. In itself this
ought to be cause for concern- why
should it be that a woman’s undertakings and ambitions are assumed to be
automatically negated when she marries a prince, while those of men who
marry princesses are not? More to
the point, it is simply not the case. In
the Netherlands, the ruling monarchs
have been women since 1898. In 112
years of female rulers, three queens
have managed to marry, and one to
a German prince, without causing a
constitutional crisis.
Unbelievably, some have even tried
to raise the spectre of the Spanish Armada, citing the possibility of a forced
union between two Crowns should
a princess who was heir apparent
marry a foreigner with his own succession rights. Pressing into service
an example from the 1550s, when
dynastic politics actually mattered, is
ludicrous. It is also a cynical attempt
|11
The
12| Comment
CambridgeStudent
Can Cameron save the economy?
Gurnek Singh Teja
Guillaume Paumier
Prime Minister David Cameron
has promised an ‘all-out mission’
to kick-start the economy through
major infrastructure projects.
Injecting around £1 billion into
the economy, it is hoped 35,000
jobs will be created by investment
in more than 100 projects, which
should further prompt additional
investment
from
private
enterprises.
Writing in the Financial Times,
David Cameron acknowledged
that the eurozone crisis has had
a ‘chilling effect’ on the global
economy and spelled out a threepronged plan to revive the British
economy.
By
confronting
the
debt
situation,
improving
competitiveness and unlocking
global trade the PM argued a longterm plan is required to ‘lay solid
foundations for a better future’.
Although Deputy PM, Nick Clegg,
will announce at a later date
the specifics of the investment,
Cameron has announced that the
go-ahead has been given for two
power plants in Yorkshire that will
create around 1000 construction
jobs and provide energy to two
million homes.
The Prime Minister’s plan
involves not just attaining growth
but also tries to re-balance
the economy creating further
opportunities and equity. By
confronting debt problems David
Cameron says allowing market
interest rates to fall, businesses,
investors and households can
hold confidence in government.
Whether low interest can be
credited to a strong or weak
economy is the question, however,
with many pointing towards the
low base rate from the Bank of
England as the cause.
Improving competitiveness is
also on the agenda. Easier said
than done, the PM is hoping future
productivity will be aided by the
infrastructure boost alongside
domestic changes: raising the
pension age, cutting corporation
tax and new programmes for
credit easing. The third part of
his plan involves tapping into the
numerous global markets, making
the most of the opportunity rather
than running scared.
Should the coalition however
be sticking to their Plan A? The
pressure on the Chancellor will
be eased for now as the latest
GDP figures have shown the
economy grew by 0.5% from July
to September. However, with high
inflation, a fiscal squeeze and
troublesome Eurozone, there is
a good chance the next quarter
will not be so positive. A separate
report published at the same time
has also suggested that activity in
manufacturing decreased at the
fastest rate for two years. George
Osborne is standing tall, ignoring
calls to amend his economic
plan.
The pace of fiscal consolidation
should be reconsidered as well
as the size of deficit reduction,
allowing the economy to get back
on track. The Chancellor may well
have to revise his policy should
the economy not grow as fast as
hoped.
With economists warning that
Britain is struggling to emerge
from recession, ministers are
being sent around the country to
strengthen the coalition’s position
and press home that jobs are vital
to growth. The coalition have also
been buoyed by the news that BT
will also announce £300 million
investment to help two-thirds
of homes and offices get fibre
broadband by 2014, providing
jobs to over 500 engineers.
At a time when the coalition
government has been accused of
not pushing for growth, and the
Chancellor too focussed upon
deficit reduction, it would be
thought the PM’s announcement
is timely news.
Shadow Business Secretary
Chuka Umunna attacked the
coalition’s plans stating the PM
was ‘out of touch’ and not dealing
with the underlying problem of a
lack of economic growth.
Umunna argued that attributing
Britain’s problems to the eurozone
crisis was ‘complacent’, adding
that there is no significant new
investment, just current projects
being given the green light.
The infrastructure projects
can be expected over the coming
months, and Clegg has said the
remainder of the £1.4 billion
regional growth fund will create
or maintain around 200,000 jobs.
Warning there are ‘no shortcuts to success’, PM David
Cameron hopes this investment
will help Britain emerge stronger
and better from a torrid last few
years.
Gurnek Singh Teja is a first-year
Economist at Homerton
Tuition fees?...
Tripled.
EMA?...
Scrapped.
Postgraduate Costs?...
Through the roof.
Cambridge goes to the National Demo...
Stand up for education.
Wednesday 9th November 2011
Coaches from Queens’ Backs - to book your place email:
[email protected]
BRIDGE
MAGAZINE
Dreamland
p16
The
CambridgeStudent
SATIRE
By Anne Noy-Dedditer
It may not be the best advertising
slogan you ever read, but the Daily
Mail this week has uncovered
startling new evidence that
suggests that eating pizza from
the chain service popularly known
as Domino’s is the leading cause
of insanity in students. Their new
scheme proudly boasts: “Special
late night delivery service”, which
“not only promotes insomnia
but also causes obesity in the lazy
feckers who get their order brought
straight to their front door,” said
chief scientist Micky O’Toole. “The
only thing ‘special’ is the customers
– mainly students – who lose
valuable brain cells and are unable
to function normally”, added
O’Toole, necking another thimble
of Jameson’s whiskey and cursing.
Apparent side effects of this new
Rotten apple!
By Noah Fence
A man who WALKED on Trinity
Great Court lawns has had his
punishment rescinded after it was
discovered he is a direct descendant
of Sir Isaac Newton, the college’s
most distinguished alumnus.
mental disease, known colloquially
as ‘Thick Crust’, (aside from
thinking that trying the garlic and
herb dipping sauce accompanying
the pizza might be nice this time) is
hallucination. Many have reported
seeing disproportionately large
adverts appearing in otherwise
excellent sections of popular
student newspapers, which detracts
considerably from their enjoyment
of said section.
The World Health Organisation
has issued a hazard alert in the
wake of these disturbing reports.
A WHO spokesman announced in
an emergency press conference this
week: “We urge people to exercise
vigilance and prudence. Seriously,
the garlic and herb dip is not a good
idea.” In an alarming 100% of the
case studies, the final symptom was
death (eventually).
Roger Newton-Jones said he was
“happy” to be spared the traditional
three-stage sentence of amputation
of the limbs, burning at the stake,
and being tickled with swan
feathers.
Mr. Newton-Jones, claims to have
“only accidentally” broken the rule
whilst attempting to pick up a stray
apple that had fallen from his bag
Want to get involved in Satire?
Email [email protected].
HEADLINERS
Murder: a pragmatic
solution to life’s
problems?
P U Z Z L E D
SALES OF OVERSIZED
GLOVES “GETTING A
LITTLE OUT OF HAND”
Gorgeous Gaddafi gets gruesome
gum-uppance!
WOMEN “JUST NEED
A GOOD SEEING TOO”,
SAYS OPTICIAN
Excitement as new research
shows farts can cure cancer!
GOING GOING GONVILLE:
COLLEGE STOLEN IN
STUDENT PRANK
Osama bin Laden’s secret life as a
flower merchant
CHAIN MAIL WARRIOR
“GONE POSTAL”
Ben Pope, Alex-the-mushroom Lover, Davina
Moss, ‘Trio’, ‘Cora’
of shopping.
However, it came to light that
Mr. Newton-Jones is in fact a direct
descendant of Isaac Newton, the
seventeenth-century apple farmer.
Mr. Newton-Jones was eventually
granted a reprieve. “He certainly
is a bad apple,” the Master winked.
The fellows agreed this was the
worst joke they’d ever heard.
ACROSS
1. Starting off by having a knack for
poor timing, and ending stickily (13)
8. Swedish chiasmus (4)
9. Likely to be in favour of the
twisted tower (8)
10. The bird’s turf and a moving
target. (4,6)
12. Sounds like trouble here, and in
the south sea (6)
14. Average child who becomes a
nasal priest (6)
15. All by himself, the western
forester secretly gets more tanned.
(4,6)
19. Spooner has a frivolous snack at
the tea party. (3-5)
20. The interred five hundred secrete
water. (4)
21. Synecdochic stepper (4,9)
Set by Spearhafoc
Study finds New
World to be
‘puzzlingly nonexistent.’
By Jethro Thompson
Vacancies for 2012 Lent/Easter Editor-In-Chief
and Lent/Easter Section Editors
For Editor-In-Chief Applications: Please send us a personal statement of around 400 words detailing
your vision for the newspaper, including details of any relevant experience.
Editor application deadline: 16 November 2011
For Section Editor Applications: Please confirm the section of the newspaper you wish to work on
(News, Sport, Music etc) and send us a personal statement of around 400 words detailing your vision for
the newspaper, including details of any relevant experience.
Section Editor application deadline: 23 November 2011
All Lent editorial appointments require you to commit to working on the Easter and May Week editions of TCS
To apply email: [email protected]
A recent study by three Professors
of Improbable Geography at
Cambridge University has found
that, startlingly, the New World is
little more than a figment of our
collective imagination. Many critics
have pointed to pieces of evidence
that would seem to disprove the
theory, such as potatoes and bad
Hollywood blockbusters, but the
study has detailed conclusive proof
that in fact, the collective delusion of
the Americas is the product of little
more than a fog of hallucinogenic
gas that hovers around the Western
rim of the earth.
The Russian government has
released a rather bitter statement
proclaiming that they’re “pretty
pissed off ” that they lost the Cold
War to a superpower that never
DOWN
2. Your tormented soul is vague,
Ben, but may eventually shine. (8)
3. You’d be mad to scream your way
through the alphabet. (5)
4. A spokeperson for ceramics
whose blood runs cold (7)
5. Her heart’s a moon – no wonder
she’s going stony. (5)
6. If he crosses you, he must be a
tool! (7)
7. Shored up on a rock to construct
my future, briefly (7)
11. Oh, the riddles that he mints all
fit together. (8)
13. Abundantly-gathered hay is a
cause for mourning. (7)
14. Criminals whose afterthoughts
barely conceal their anger (7)
16. Nation that’s not as conclusive as
one of its neighbours (5)
17. Reached upon tumbling all the
way down the drain (5)
18. Instrument of pillage (4)
existed, and the Guinness World
Records group have also retracted
all of their awards to people who
circumnavigated the globe in a
yacht/hot air balloon/light aircraft/
tea cosy. NASA has stated that, were
their launch facilities anything more
than a drug-induced fabrication,
they would be sending a spacecraft
to the Rim to find out what lies
beyond.
Answers to last week’s
crossword
Across
1) Procrastinate, 8) Pan, 9)
Sidenotes, 10) Lipgloss, 11) Acre,
14) Prince, 15) Mr Bean, 17) Over,
18) Cinnamon, 21) Eponymous,
23) Art, 24) Butterfingers
Down
1) Papal, 2) Oenophile, 3) Reselect,
4) Sadism, 5) Isnt, 6) Ant, 7)
Eastern, 12) Cream cake, 13)
Grandson, 14) Proverb, 16) Tip off,
19) Not us, 20) Tyre, 22) Opt.
Domino’s pizza sends
you mad!
Front cover by Luisa Filby
The
CambridgeStudent
FEATURES
Want to get involved in Features?
Tap into your
androgynous
side
From to Bowie to Gaga, androgyny has had increasing
influence on fashion for decades. But what of its
consequences for the wider transgender community?
By Martha Henriques
Mark Curtis
W
e are well used
to seeing Kate
Moss’s
face
adorning highend
fashion
magazines left, right, and centre.
Not so usual is to see her on one
such cover embracing the delicate
transsexual supermodel Lea T in a
tender-looking kiss. Love magazine
displayed this lustrous black and
white image on one of the three
covers of its Androgyny Issue in
February of this year. Love isn’t
alone; Vogue India likewise proudly
claimed androgyny as its latest
muse in the November 2011 issue.
Androgyny may be ‘now’, but it has
also been bubbling through fashion
and pop culture for over half a
century: from the sixties Flower
Power movement to Elton John,
Michael Jackson, David Bowie,
Patti Smith, Annie Lennox, all the
way through to Lady Gaga today.
What these icons have in common
is a combination of masculine and
feminine traits in their personal
style, and in some cases in their life
philosophy as a whole.
The march of androgyny from
the catwalk and pop stars to it-girls,
fashionistas, and mainstream culture
is certainly not just of interest to
shopaholics and the fashion-savvy.
Perhaps often dismissed as frivolous
or shallow, fashion can nonetheless
be viewed as a reflection of the culture
from which it arises. The presence
and perseverance of androgynous
style in mainstream culture can
therefore be interpreted as a sign of
growing tolerance and acceptance
towards non-heteronormativity in
our society.
Considering
the
enormous
audience that it commands, the
fashion industry is in some ways
the ideal mouthpiece for advocating
open-mindedness to society at large.
Playful irreverence on the catwalk
may seem trivial when considered
in isolation, but nonetheless it
has the potential to tease the rigid
boundaries between the feminine
and the masculine, which in turn
provides more breathing space
for those who find themselves
not easily slotting into the boxes
provided. Need the model wearing
the centrepiece bridal gown of a
couture show be female? Jean Paul
Gaultier thinks not, casting doll-like
male model Andrej Pejic for the part
in his Paris Fashion Week show in
January of this year.
Despite the potential of the fashion
industry to break down barriers
through bringing androgyny into
the public consciousness, there are
concerns that the way such serious
concepts are portrayed can also do
damage to the cause. Putting models
like Andrej Pejic on a pedestal is very
different from welcoming ordinary
people for their androgynous ethos
in day-to-day life. The ‘unique’
and the ‘different’ is an eternal
fascination in fashion, especially at
the haute couture end of the scale.
In an industry where art meets
practicality meets a free market
economy, something beautiful and
unique is in danger of becoming
reduced to a mere unique selling
point, which can lead to a loss of
respect for the initial inspiration in
the process.
Deciding what is good and bad
publicity is tricky at the best of times
and made even more contentious
when the issues at stake are so highly
charged. There are some for whom
coverage in the fashion media,
regardless of the motives behind its
interest, can only be a good thing.
Lea T’s androgynous body and her
sexuality have fuelled her dizzying
ascent to the world of high fashion,
and her gender-bending appearance
has placed her firmly centre stage of
several controversial photo-shoots
and advertising campaigns. After
her intimate encounter with Moss
for Love, Lea T said in an interview
in the New York Times: “I thought
this would be a nice message for
another tranny: ‘Look, we can be
the same as other girls and boys.’
It’s small, but it makes you feel like
you have a little chance. Maybe a
transsexual will open a magazine
and think: ‘That’s cool. We can be
whatever we want.’”
It is possible that fashion is
indulging in its fascination with
androgyny for the wrong reasons;
there is no excuse for exploiting
the identity of a minority group
in the name of marketing shock
tactics. The line between celebrating
the differences in our society and
turning the exhibition into a freak
show is a delicate one, not helped
by the fact that everyone draws their
own personal line in a different place.
However, the progress made by the
fashion industry towards breaking
down gender stereotypes through
exploration of the land between
the extremes of the feminine and
the masculine can not be dismissed
purely as voyeurism or cynical
marketing strategies. The liberation
that a career in fashion affords
models such as Lea T through
publicity and exposure not only
helps them find identity within an
industry, but also paves the way for
others like them to use their image
as a tool for self-expression with less
inhibition, greater confidence, and
pride.
Features |15
The
CambridgeStudent
FEATURES
Want to get involved in Features?
Cheesy Does It
Phil Child takes a dairy-fuelled voyage into the dreamscape. Illustrations by Clementine Beauvais.
Contrary to popular cynicism, the recounting of one’s dreams can be an interesting affair. This statement is especially valid if the dreams are heavily influenced by an additional stimulant. It was
with this in mind that I volunteered to binge on cheese for several evenings before bed, recording the profound visions certain to derive from such flagrant dairy abuse. Though the notion that
eating cheese before bedtime will result in nightmares has largely been disproved, some researchers do believe that scoffing this most loved element of midnight feasts can induce ‘dream-heavy’ sleep.
Moreover, certain types of cheese can induce certain types of dreams. I picked four classic varieties and assumed guinea-pig form.
1. CHEDDAR
3. BRIE
Upon my return from a somewhat illadvised trip to Lola Lo, I crafted myself
a heavily-laden toastie and went to bed.
Against my expectations, my dream was
not especially exciting or memorable,
involving insomuch as I can recall
a chance meeting with Jedward in
the local pub of my rural hometown.
Little happened; they ate their pork
scratchings and wandered off. Not
feeling especially inspired by a blurred
meeting with a pair of diminutive pop
starlets, I resolved to move on to harder
stuff. Cheddar was merely a gateway
snack.
Upping the ante considerably, I was
fortunate to be served what I can only
describe as a slab of Brie as part of a
college formal the following evening.
I was certain this would be a powerful
stimulant indeed and my subsequent
entry into the land of nod did not
disabuse me of my suspicions. Possibly
one of the most mind-wrenching nights
of sleep followed my return from the
formal. I was plunged onto a punt in
brilliant sunshine with Colonel Gaddafi,
a talking swan and Vince Cable. The
majority of our conversation revolved
around our mutual distaste for the
punt touts of Cambridge and Vince’s
upcoming attempt to crash the Trinity
May Ball via a swim across the Cam.
Gaddafi reckoned it wouldn’t work. The
swan was ambivalent. Brie-liant.
2. WENSLEYDALE
Yorkshire’s finest seemed like the obvious
next step, with the added bonus of the
particular variety purchased being
embedded with cranberries. I smeared
what seemed to me to a powerful hit onto a
Jacob’s cracker and ingested it. This increase
in cheesy power seemed to have the desired
effect. Upon descending into sleep I found
myself stuck in a multi-dimensional room
with a variety of staircases – suspiciously
similar to a level on Final Fantasy IX, a game
which had had a profound effect on me at
the tender age of twelve. Given that I then
‘fell’ down several staircases, appearing at
different points around the room, I judged
this experience on awakening a suitably
bizarre success.
4. stilton
Suspicious that the previous night’s dream
may have happened outside controlled
conditions (i.e. partially induced by a
bottle of wine and several large gin and
tonics), I decided to make scoffing a lump
of Stilton the central point of my final
journey into an over-active subconscious.
As the clock ticked down towards 23:30
I prepared the cracker with a slight tinge
of fear at the potential power this mouldy
monstrosity might wield. I should have
heeded my instincts. Being on trial in
front of a kangaroo court of cheeses for
the heinous crime of eating their brethren
was not an especially pleasant experience.
I can’t remember if I was found guilty, but I
was pelted with bits of crackers as I was led
away from the courtroom. Possibly a bit
too weird to be repeated anytime soon, I
felt that was an apt point to end my voyage
of discovery. I just hope I’m not now
lactose intolerant.
Tired but wired
Zzzzzzoah Hedges-Stocks reports from the frontline of the war on insomnia
You see the nice article above, written by Phil Child? Well,
I hate it, and I hate Phil Child too. Why do I have so much
vitriol for a nice young man who nearly gave himself cheese
poisoning at my request? Because he can sleep. I haven’t
slept since...well, i’m not actually sure any more.
This is starting to be a bit of a problem. Society, you may
have noticed, is very much diurnal. Everything important
is squeezed into the daylight hours, and the night is a
long, smooth stretch of time unmarred by lectures or
supervisions. All those hours just sitting there, thrown
away in sleep. Don’t you just wish you could grab them
back, and make use of them? What am I saying – you’re at
Cambridge, so you’ve probably done this a fair few times.
One of the transferable skills that Cambridge teaches you
is an intimate knowledge of coffee, energy drinks and Pro
Plus, and which precise combination suits you best. We all
know the feeling of being hunched over a desk at five in
the morning, shielding our eyes from the rising sun as we
attempt to force out the last few paragraphs of that vital
essay. After pulling an all-nighter, you might feel bizarrely
refreshed. You’ve got that nasty piece of work out of the
16| Features
way, and a whole day in front of you to achieve even more.
If you’re a productivity demon, or just tend to leave things
until the last minute, you might find yourself working
through the night regularly. That is when everything falls
apart. Consuming excessive amounts of caffeine and staying
up all night will, unsurprisingly, really screw up your body
clock. If you’re unlucky, you’ll stay awake even when you
would really rather not do. When your two-in-the-morning
alertness stops being voluntary and starts being automatic,
you have a problem.
No longer is the night a vast amount of time in which
you can get loads of work done. You’re far too tired for that.
As Fight Club’s narrator says: ‘with insomnia, you’re never
really asleep, but you’re never really awake’. You lie there
and think to yourself ‘I really should be doing something
constructive’. You go to your desk, and try to read a book.
The words blur. You shake your head. You’re exhausted.
You go back to bed. Repeat ad infinitum. During the day,
you’re consumed by how tired you are. At night, your mind
buzzes with how wired you are. And it will not stop.
So what do you do? Drugs are one answer, but my GP
has informed that most sleeping pills are addictive, and so
they will usually only give you a week-long prescription.
This, in theory, gives you enough time to sort your sleep
pattern out, but not enough time to get addicted. Other
downsides include not being able to cycle in the morning,
because you will be a groggy mess. Not so different from
being sleep-deprived, then! Alcohol may get you to sleep,
but it certainly wont keep you there. Sex (sadly) isn’t always
a convenient option.
My solution is, frankly, to man up and get on with life.
Tell yourself that if you’re not going to sleep, you’re going
to do all of your washing. Then iron everything. Then start
on that pile of washing-up that you’ve been ignoring. Either
the procrastination instinct will kick in, and you’ll go to
sleep rather than do chores, or it wont, and you’ll get all of
those jobs done that you’ve been putting off. Either way,
you win!
One of the things that I hate about insomnia is going
through it all alone. So if you’ve read this article through
red-rimmed eyes at three in the morning - I know how you
feel.
The
CambridgeStudent
INTERVIEW
alice-roberts.co.uk
Dr Alice Roberts talks to Nicholas Tufnell about
Time Team, evolution and her work with the BBC.
You’re primarily an academic. How
did you end up working in the media?
I’ve had an unconventional career to
date. I studied medicine, intercalating
in anatomy, and had my heart set on
surgery. Then, after a year working
as a junior doctor, I did what I
thought would be a six-month-long
teaching job in Bristol University,
demonstrating anatomy to medical
undergrads. That was a fairly
standard thing for would-be surgeons
to do, but then the opportunity of an
anatomy lectureship presented itself
and I was enjoying the job so much,
I applied. Even then, I didn’t intend
to continue in academia for long, and
for quite a few years thought I’d go
back to clinical practice.
As well as studying and teaching
anatomy, I started to do research
looking at ancient human remains,
and did a PhD in palaeopathology,
looking at problems with the shoulder
joint from an archaeological and
evolutionary perspective. My first
work in the media came through
my bone research; I was asked first
to compile reports on skeletons
excavated on Time Team digs, and
then to go along to the shoots as a
human bone expert. And one thing
led to another!
You’re currently a visiting fellow in both
the Department of Archaeology and
Anthropology and the Department of
Anatomy at the University of Bristol.
What has kept you studying for so
long?
If you cut me in half, like a stick of
rock, it says ‘Anatomist’. I’m endlessly
fascinated by the structure and
function of the human body, and
I’m still learning new details. I love
working with clinicians, designing
and teaching on postgraduate
training courses - it makes me think
about anatomy in a different, applied
way. But I’m also interested in the
historical and evolutionary aspects of
anatomy: of physical anthropology.
Just as it’s fascinating to study
embryology and learn how a single,
fertilised egg grows into a complex,
adult body, it’s mindblowing to be
able to trace changes in the structure
and function of our bodies that have
produced the human body we know
today.
You talk about archaeology, anatomy
and evolution in the media frequently.
Do you believe this media presence
helps to make these branches of
science more accessible?
I really hope so! I see a real richness
and beauty in the ability to unpick
the details of past lives from
archaeological remains and through
an understanding of evolution.
Science can sometimes be oddly
separated out from culture, but I’m
very keen to acknowledge that it’s part
of our culture, and that it enriches
our experience and understanding of
ourselves and the world around us.
In The Incredible Human Journey,
you explored the theory that all
modern humans are descended
from anatomically modern African
Homo sapiens. Do you agree with the
theory?
Well, there I am, teaching evolutionary
anthropology at Bristol and along
comes the BBC offering to take
me to the Great Rift Valley to meet
modern hunter-gatherers in Namibia
and to interview some of the leading
experts in the field - I was overjoyed!
I had been talking to various people
in the BBC about doing something
about human evolution for 2009 the 150th anniversary of Darwin’s
‘On the Origin of Species’ - and this
examination of the origin of our
own species and the palaeolithic
colonisation of the world seemed to
be a timely choice.
“I’m fascinated by the
structure and function
of the human body.”
Of the two main competing
theories, multiregionalism versus
Out of Africa, the latter had seemed
most likely on the basis of physical
anthropology for a while, and had
been strengthened by the emergence
of genetic evidence, firstly from
mitochondrial and Y chromosome
DNA, and then from nuclear
DNA. Since we filmed that series,
though, there have been interesting
developments in the world of ancient
DNA - so that it now seems that
modern humans interbred, just a bit,
with Neanderthals. It doesn’t negate
the OOA theory at all - but it certainly
adds another layer of complexity!
There seems to be a re-emergence
of the sciences in the media lately.
Do you think the media attention
ultimately helps or hinders progress
and interest?
Ultimately, science is the best tool
we have for understanding the
world around us, and that is both
wonderful and enriching in itself,
as well as essential to making all
sorts of political, economic and
environmental
decisions.
For
hundreds of years, access to science as a career or just in terms of access
to recent findings - has been possible
only for the priveleged few. Broadcast
media and, more importantly, the
internet should help to broaden
access to information, to stimulate
debate, to raise aspirations. Progress
comes through the sharing of ideas,
and now we have the ability to share
ideas incredibly quickly and widely it’s an exciting time.
I think that those working in
broadcast media bear a responsibility
to communicate ideas effectively
and honestly. Over-simplifying
or sensationalising content can
be damaging, but as a visual and
auditory means of communication,
the broadcast media certainly has the
potential to help reveal the beauty
and grandeur of science.
What is the most exciting or interesting
project you have worked on?
Undoubtedly, having a baby. It’s the
most wonderful, daunting, fulfilling
and surprising thing I’ve ever done.
Is there one particular area of
anatomy or archaeology that
continues to amaze you?
I find the brain utterly confounding.
In the dissection room, it looks like
such an unprespossessing lump
of grey stuff! How amazing that it
holds the mind of a person, all their
memories, hopes, and dreams. It’s
fascinating to see the disciplines of
neuroscience and psychology coming
closer and closer together as we get
better at working out where and how
psychological phenomena emerge.
What is the most exciting TV work
you have done to date?
The most interesting and exciting
project I’ve worked on to date is
Origins of Us. I spent about four
months filming this series with BBC
Science, seeking out anthropologists
in their labs, and Hadza hunter
gatherers in Tanzania. It was a great
team to work with (and we all called
it Oranges whilst making it - I found
it very difficult not to refer that way in
interviews!). I learned an enormous
amount, and I’m really pleased to
have been able to help make a whole
series on evolutionary anthropology.
Interview |17
The
CambridgeStudent
OPINION
FRESHER MEAT
Firstly, a retraction. In my column
last week, I attributed the liberation
of Brian to the Clerk of Works. To
the more beady-eyed Cambridge
student, this may have seemed
erroneous, and indeed it was. Due
to my usual levels of incompetence
and complete misunderstanding of
the Cambridge pastoral system, I
failed to realise it was not the Clerk
of Works who freed my bike at all,
but the Deputy College Marshall –
who, for the record, is a legend and
will be in receipt of a compensatory
packet of Hobnobs when I next see
him.
At the time of writing, I am
immensely pleased none of you dear
readers can see me, for I have finally
succumbed to the phenomenon
of Freshers’ Flu; proof indeed that
one must never get too smug about
one’s seemingly superior immune
system. Happily enough, this has
provided the first opportunity for
me to obey the command, ‘Down it
Fresher!’ However in this case, ‘it’
happened to be Lemsip. And also
sherry; but that was more due to the
essay on Thomas Aquinas I had to
write, not to mention my extremely
dodgy taste in alcohol more suitably
associated with your Granny’s postChristmas-lunch tipple than with a
LISTINGS
Thursday 27 Oct
Neither Freshers’ Flu nor UCAS Media is an obstacle this week, as Fresher
columnist Rosalind takes a swipe at tourists and talks to her cats.
rampant Oxbridge first-year.
But anyway, enough about me.
Let’s talk about you.
Nope, that won’t work. Back to
me, then.
Now the madness of various
initiation rites has more or less died
down, Cambridge is beginning to
feel like home (except, of course,
my living room at home is rarely
filled with Asian tourists making
the peace sign as they take photos
of themselves in front of its splendid
architecture). I must here make
mention of my gorgeous flatmates,
who are, in all honesty, making
university life pretty awesome.
From Darren’s silky Northern Irish
tones belting out the rap middleeight of Lady Gaga’s ‘Born This
Way’ in the corridor upstairs, to
Maddie’s relentlessly effervescent
way of stumbling into my room to
show me her latest injury, to the
blossoming of a beautiful bromance
on the floor below– it’s all making
life that bit sweeter. I haven’t
missed my cats once. Well, actually,
that’s not strictly true; I did have a
conversation with one of them
down the phone last week, but that
was entirely my mother’s idea and
left me completely unmoved.
Now don’t panic; my column is not
going to turn all sloppy and swoony.
My main gripe this week? Two
words: UCAS Media. Don’t get me
wrong, I’m immensely grateful for
UCAS’s beautifully designed online
forms;their idiosyncratic denial of
any sort of text formatting in the
Personal Statement box… and who
can forget the steadfast reliability
of their Track system on Results
Day? Alas, I sound bitter. Well,
goddamn it I am; as if applying to
university wasn’t stressful enough,
why must they keep spamming
me with emails in which I take
absolutely no interest? Yet this is a
mere fly in the ointment, a meagre
tally on the Chunder Chart of Life;
and so I must concede that, despite
my most British attempts to find
everything unsatisfactory, I love
being a Cambridge student.
‘Can a slug
appreciate
irony?’
Most significantly, I am relishing
what we have come to term as the
Surreal Cambridge Moment. You
know what we mean; that moment
where you float up from your body
and look down at yourself partaking
in whatever conversation or revelry
it may be, and nod knowingly as you
accept that it is only in Cambridge
that an eighteen/nineteen/twentysomething-year-old could get away
with such a thing. I had such a
moment attending an organ recital
in Week 2: only in Cambridge
would a student spend their evening
listening to a bit of Stanford before
heading to the college bar. (Well,
maybe they do in the Other Place
as well, but they probably listen to
Parry instead, whose work everyone
knows is totally INFERIOR and
therefore deserves no mention).
Conversely, the term may apply
when you look down at yourself
from above and chuckle at the
incongruity between the event you
are witnessing and the prestige of
the establishment you now attend.
I experienced this just last week,
when a group of about fifteen of us
Freshers decided we were just not
hardcore enough to go ‘out out’
again, so we stayed in and watched
Disney’s ‘Hercules’ instead. At
first it didn’t strike me as odd as I
watched from my heavenly vantage
point, but when I saw myself closing
my eyes in all-out commitment to
singing the backing vocals of Meg’s
timeless ballad, ‘I Won’t Say I’m In
Love’, I began to fully appreciate the
bizarreness of the situation. Other
examples include swaying to ‘Total
Eclipse of the Heart’ in Cindies,
and spending a full ten minutes in a
lecture contemplating the question,
‘Can a slug appreciate irony?’ Oh
Cambridge. What a treasure you
are.
PICKS OF
THE WEEK
Friday 28 Oct
Saturday 29 Oct
Sunday 30 Oct
Monday 31 Oct
Tuesday 1 Nov
Wednesday 2 Nov
Comedy
Celebration
Comedy
Academic
Art
ICE Queen: Improvised
comedy spectacle
guaranteeing an evening
of psychedelic comic
delights. Fitzpatrick
Hall, Queens College.
Time TBC.
Midsommer Commons
Fireworks: Wildfire
Performance promise
a spectacular fire
production prior to the
display and bonfire.
Midsommer Commons.
7:30pm.
Stephen Merchant
Live: Hello Ladies. Cocreator of The Office
and Extras sets out on
his first stand-up tour.
£27. Cambridge Corn
Exchange. 8pm.
Theodore Dalrymple:
Debunking Junk
Heroin and Myth as
Orthodoxy: The political
journalist, will focus
on the misconceptions
of heroin addiction as
an example of myth
establishing as an
orthodoxy. Latimer
Room, Old Court, Clare
College. 8:30pm.
The 60’s Experience:
Featuring kitsch art
and furniture, original
photographs from Vic
Singh, giclee prints and
shirts from Sebastian
Dollinger, the 60s
themed exhibition
continues at the Makers
Gallery. Free admission.
11am – 7pm.
Academic
Music
Jeremy Paxman at
Cambridge Union:
Love Music Hate
Cambridge graduate,
Racism: Featuring
award-winning
acoustic artist Faith
journalist and presenter
Taylor, quirky Hugh
of Newsnight and
Sillitoe, and jazz band
University Challenge
Colonel Spanky’s Love
will be discussing his
Ensemble. The Graduate latest book “Empire”,
Union, 17 Mill Lane.
followed by a Q&A
8:30PM.
session. 3pm.
Comedy
Milton Jones: The Lion
Whisperer Tour. Awardwinning comedian
guarantees a bizarre
night of laughs and oneliners. “Sultan of the
surreal” (The Guardian)
and familiar face from
Mock The Week. £19.50.
Cambridge Corn
Exchange. 8pm.
Theatre
Jerry Springer The
Opera: Jerry Springer,
America’s favourite
controversial talk show
Academic
host, suffers the worst
Music
day of his career as high
Forum: Global Poverty: art meets low culture in
Cambridge Chorale
Chaired by Global
one of the most talked
Stephen Gunby
and the Cann Twins:
Poverty Project Director about musicals ever
Theatre
The internationally
Elisha London, this
made.
renowned piano duo The forum will ask: ‘What
“Quake”: A true to
Cann Twins will join
is the role of foreign aid Documentary
events performance
Cambridge Chorale will in a time of austerity?’
engaging with British
be join to perform an
Koundi and National
Cambridge Union
identity through the
enthused reworking of
Thursday: Directed by
Society. 7:30pm.
personal experience of a Johannes Brahms´ Ein
Ariane Astrid Atodji,
young Armenian woman Deutsches Requiem by
the award-winning
trapped in the bombHeinrich Poos. £6. West
documentary centres
shattered King David
Road Concert Hall. 7pm.
around the villagers of
Hotel. £5/6. Corpus
Koundi in Cameroon
Playroom. 7pm.
who have created their
own cocoa plantation
as a way of alleviating
their poverty. £7.50. Arts
Picturehouse. 6:30pm.
Music
Jimmy Appleton
Britten Celebration:
Performances of Britten’s
pieces Saint Nicolas,
Rejoice in the Lamb
and Abraham and Isaac.
Featuring tenor Andrew
Kennedy and counter
tenor David Allsopp. £5.
King’s College Chapel.
7pm.
The
CambridgeStudent
OPINION
Insantibridgians by Clementine Beauvais
T here AND BACK AGAIN
Charlotte Wylie is a fourth-year
linguist who is in no way blatantly
using this column to come to terms
with coming back to Cambridge.
I really dislike clichés, even though the
majority of the time, I tend to be one. So,
before coming back to Cambridge from
my Year Abroad in China, I made myself a
series of promises to avoid being the clichéd
“Returning Fourth Year Linguist”.
1. I will make an effort with the other years in
college, if only to have someone to sit with
in hall/the bar.
2. At no point will I utter the phrase, “I feel
soo old!”
3. Likewise, I will not tell any first or second
year linguist that, “The Year Abroad is the
best year of your degree!”
4. I will not bemoan the fact that a lot of my
friends have graduated.
5. No sentences will start with the phrase,
“When I was in Beijing…”
6. Being recently single, I will not do anything
which makes me the centre of gossip in
college.
7. Finally, I will not write a navel gazing
column in TCS about being a returning
linguist… oh wait…
For anyone keeping score, I have managed
to break every single one of these promises
- except making friends with the years
below in college; I was a bit over-zealous
with that promise, hence my new college
nickname is “Cougar”. I’m only 21. Under
no circumstances should a 21 year old be
referred to as a cougar: it makes you feel
unnecessarily old. Especially seeing as I am
one of the most immature people ever. The
other day my reaction to being stressed was
to buy a sherbet Dib-Dab and eat it while
watching Rastamouse. I wasn’t being ironic,
I just really like how Rastamouse both fights
crime and plays in a reggae band. If a Jamaican
mouse can multi-task, I can definitely finish
an essay and two translations in time to go
out for drinks.
Although I’m really annoyed with myself
for saying this, coming back to Cambridge
was actually quite surreal. It didn’t really hit
me until I walked into hall for lunch one day
with three other linguists and we recognised
two people. Two people. We couldn’t even
remember what they were called. We
then proceeded to spend the rest of lunch
repeatedly saying, “This is so weird, why
does everyone look they’re 12 years old?” It
worked both ways, we definitely were stared
at a lot more than necessary. I did also get
mistaken for a fresher by a third year who is
going out with one of my really good friends.
Fair enough, I’ve changed my hair but last
time I checked my face was exactly the
same as second year. So that was also quite
bizarre.
As so many things are different, I find
myself clinging to constants. Some things
in Cambridge will never change, like the
worryingly distinctive Cindies smell; how
everyone in the ADC bar knows each other;
the way when you mention you’re from a
certain college to a stranger they will then
proceed to list everyone they know in your
college; and how you can guarantee to
overhear great conversation while walking
around the town centre. The most recent
highlight being, “I’m a massive Lord of the
Rings fan, but I was sitting in the balcony so I
couldn’t really get in amongst the orcs…” I’m
going to assume the girl in question had been
to see the Lord of the Rings musical rather
than referring to people on the ground floor
as orcs. Although seeing as it’s Cambridge,
both are possible.
Because I’ve been desperately seeking out
familiar things in order to feel like I’m still
part of the Cambridge bubble, I end up
having disproportionately extreme reactions
to any small changes. So far I’ve been weirdly
outraged that Fitzbillies has changed its
menu and décor; that everyone in my college
has stopped going to Fez and that there is a
massive Cath Kidston shop in Market Square.
I love twee polka dots and floral prints as
much as the next person – maybe even more
– but even I have issues with a whole shop
dedicated to them. Surely one person can
only own so much floral print?
So, next week I’ll be writing about college
gossip, swaps and why Chinese golden snub
nosed monkeys make the Library so much
more interesting.
LOVE IN THE BUBBLE
A light-hearted column about love and
life from our enigmatic sex columnist
Queen of the clichés
Growing up, I can remember a
little cushion my mum used to place
in pride of place on the middle of the
sofa. It said, in tiny gold letters above
an embroidered zebra, ‘Never believe
all you see and only half of what you hear’.
I’d like to say this became my mantra
and I grew into a sensible young
woman, blessed with sensibility and an
adequate store of suspicion. Instead, I
laughed at the zebra’s wise words and
became foolish - oh so very foolish.
I remember too a great man in his Britain’s
Got Talent audition, dressed as the Phantom
of the Opera with a dodgy white half-face
mask on, shouting at Piers and Amanda
“YOU FOOLS! IT’S ME!”. How is this
relevant you ask? Well, I like to think I am a
lot like the man in the budget phantom outfit
– an idiot.
This week my boyfriend and I hit
the big nine months, sans baby. Now I
(of the Cosmo magazine shrine) read
once that it is important to make your
‘man’ feel special every day you’re
with him, not just on special occasions,
but I thought that as this was one ‘month
anniversary’ we were actually together/I
wasn’t on my period, I was going to
make it special. I was going to bake
a cake. Now you don’t know me
that well, not even my name, but I’d
like to make one thing absolutely
clear about me: I am a bit like a
squirrel frantically in search of acorns,
but when the acorn count starts to
mount too high, alarm bells ring, I freak
out and jump off a tree. Not quite, but all
I can see out of my windows are squirrels
and they’re really starting to impinge on
my narrative. Basically, I can’t deal with
doing my degree (you’d laugh if you knew
what it was), having incredible sex,
baking beautiful cakes, writing a column
and being nice all in the same week.
It’s just too much. So, yes, I got cranky.
On the cycle back home, my boyfriend
nonchalantly mentioned he’s forgotten to
buy the bicarbonate of soda.
Some time passed. I said nothing.
Like a gathering electrical storm, I
powered on. Slowly it dawned on him like
all great realisations that I was annoyed.
“What’s wrong?” he asks. What’s. Wrong.
You forgot the bloody bicarbonate of soda!
That’s what I should have said. Instead,
I said he was rubbish. Rubbish,
rubbish, rubbish. And you know what
he did? He cycled off into the distance,
like in one of those John Wayne
films, except it wasn’t sunset and I
hadn’t won a duel. If anything I’d been
maimed. Some more time passed. I was
starting to really regret my reaction to
this bombshell – I’d nearly lost the man
I loved for a quarter of a teaspoon of
baking salt. Trudging back the final fifty
metres on my bike (believe me trudging
on a bike is HARD), I could barely see
through all the tears. I was starting to
feel like the zebra might be wrong – I had
actually seen him cycle away from me telling
me in no uncertain terms to piss off and
I was alone again, just as the man who was
no longer a Britain’s Got Talent
contestant became just a fifty-yearold man in a costume. I was just a
fool who’d let the best thing in her
life cycle away from her but worst
of all, I’d driven him to it. I felt like
one of those wives in EastEnders
whose husband kills someone and is
seen shouting, as the police bundle him
into the back of the car, “SHE DROVE ME
TO IT”.
So, we both felt bad. If I were to think
of one good piece of advice about love, it’s
this – there’s no point you both feeling shit.
The best thing to do is to kiss and make up.
So we did - we kissed, and we ate cake and
we, having not exhausted all our passion
for one day, went to bed together,
made love, had sex, whatever you want
to call it. I don’t believe in the phrase
“you don’t know what you’ve got til
it’s gone” – as far as I’m concerned, that
paradise deserved to be paved over
into the biggest, baddest car park in
town, because people didn’t appreciate,
love or treasure what was already there.
Opinion |19
The
CambridgeStudent
MUSIC
Want to get involved in Music?
Email [email protected]
REVIEWS
(Polydor, 2011)
(Carpark, 2011)
★★★★☆
(Ed Banger/Because, 2011)
★★★☆☆
Download:
The Bad In Each Other
You’d be forgiven if your first thought of Leslie Feist
is of her impossibly chippy video for the best-known
song of her last album, 1234. Though it is immediately
obvious from the first track of Metals that the days of
nonsensical songs about sea lions are over, the image
from the video of her dancing in a dingy warehouse in a
sparkly blue jumpsuit is a neat analogy for this record:
from the outset a sparse, grungy band that she could
have borrowed from Neil Young provides a perfect
backdrop for her extraordinary, flute-like voice which
on tracks like Graveyard has never sounded better.
There is a departure here from the playful, melodic
pop she became known for thanks to 2007’s The Reminder towards a soulful, folksy brand of Americana.
Feist’s versatility as a writer and singer is highlighted
by the diversity of influences that are clear throughout this album, which swings effortlessly from bluesy
tracks like Anti-Pioneer which would not be out of
place on a Joni Mitchell record, to more guitar-driven
pop songs like How Come You Never Go There and
the powerful Undiscovered First with stomping drums
and a choir that sounds like a chain-gang. Throwing
out the glittery jumpsuits was obviously a good move
– this is a remarkable record. Kirsty Macleod
JUSTICE
AUDIO, VIDEO,
DISCO
CLASS ACTRESS
RAPPROCHER
★★★☆☆
Download:
Keep You, Weekend
Rapprocher is French for “come closer”: an
appropriate title for an album concentrating on a
themes of belonging and love (or, often, the lack of
both). With the synths disguising that slight tinge of
melancholia, the lyrics are in essence like any other
cheesy love song: slightly stifling, slightly wonderful,
but sexier than the average. The best thing is to sit
back, ignore the cringe factor and appreciate the
charm of it – this is electro indie at its finest, with
glorious pulsating synths that still manage to give off
a chill feel. This album comes conveniently released
in Britain upon the eve of a long, dark winter; if you
are alone, at least you can use this album to indulge
on a shared dream.
The album starts off strongly with Keep You,
with Elizabeth Harper’s liquid, sleepy soprano
voice in perfect harmony with comparably harsh
beats. Love Me Like You Used To and Hangin’
On with obvious eighties influences are decent
enough, but the highlights of the album are
undoubtedly Weekend and Bienvenue. Class
Actress could have probably skipped the useless
fillers (such as Limousine) and released an EP.
Sophia Peacock
CLASSIC ALBUM
Download:
Civilisation
Remember that insanely catchy track from summer
2007, D.A.N.C.E.? What about the club favourite
We Are Your Friends? If yes to either of the above
then you’ll have heard Justice, the Parisian dance
duo whose latest album Audio, Video, Disco is out
now. It’s an album you never quite know what to
do with: it’s not chilled enough to have on in the
background and never quite big enough for a night
out. There’s also the nagging sensation that you’re
listening to a Super Nintendo soundtrack. The
opener Horsepower is reminiscent of a boss fight,
while Brianvision sounds as if the French pair have
had a good mess around with one of those electric
guitar toys and pressed record. There are a couple of
good tracks here, though. Civilisation is a solid lead
single, building to a huge synth-filled chorus again
and again like every good dance anthem should. The
title track Audio, Video, Disco is catchy, despite really
only repeating those three words over and over – but
then again the French dance giants Daft Punk rarely
do much more. But this album really isn’t in the same
league as a classic like Discovery and for now, Justice
remain thoroughly in the shadow of their harder,
better, faster, stronger cousins. Andrew Avery
Surprisingly Good Scarlett
THE SMITHS
Kit Holden on Scarlett Johansson’s first album and hidden talents...
STRANGEWAYS,
HERE WE COME
Tom Waits doesn’t drink
anymore. For those of us who
have always justified our own
partiality to a tipple by Waits’
apparently increased creativity
under the influence, this is bad
news. Still, the world belongs
to those who are in love with
the new, and the new is Scarlett
Johansson.
Although The Smiths’ fourth
and final album contains fewer
immediately accessible tracks
than its predecessors, it is the
favourite of all four members
of the band. There is a clear
sense of a new direction with
the opening track, A Rush And
A Push And The Land Is Ours,
with the familiar jangly sound
of Marr’s guitar missing.
However, the lyrical themes of
love, death and loneliness are all
present, as is Morrissey’s bitingly
dry sense of humour and Marr’s
exquisite harmonic progressions
and picked guitar lines. In the
masterful centrepiece, Last
Night I Dreamt That Somebody
Loved Me, Morrissey pours
out his deepest, darkest
sentiments of loneliness. The
song’s epic, atmospheric piano
intro launches into a beautiful,
20| Music
heartfelt portrayal of the pains
of love. Elsewhere on the
album, more upbeat disco-vibe
beats, such as in Girlfriend In
A Coma, are juxtaposed starkly
by Morrissey’s frank, sarcastic
and humorous takes on the idea
of death. The album fades out
gently in the last three tracks,
down to the closer, I Won’t Share
You, which is entirely missing
a drum beat, but this adds to
the freedom of the track as
Morrissey seems to portray an
unusually honest sentiment.
Morrissey’s witty, original
and brutally frank lyrics relate
to experiences of loneliness
which we all have – listening to
the words ‘No hope, no harm,
just another false alarm…’ on
Last Night I Dreamt sends chills
down the spine.
James Redburn
The world
belongs to
those who are
in love with the
new, and the
new is Scarlett
Johansson
Johansson’s album of Waits’
covers, entitle Anywhere I Lay
My Head, is now three years
old, but it remains fresh. At
a point in her acting career
when the artistic merit of Lost
in Translation
was slowly
being sacrificed for indulgent
Woody Allen romps and
action blockbusters, Anywhere
I Lay My Head brought the
real Johansson back into our
collective consciousness.
Opening
with
the
instrumental number Fawn,
the movie star rather eases us
into the idea of herself as a
singer. Though nowhere near
as haunting as the original,
Johansson’s rendition introduces
us nicely to what is to follow.
“Hello,” she says, “I’m Scarlett
Johansson, and I’m being Tom
Waits for a little while. Except
with more organ.”
Her voice is a little less versatile
than Waits’, rendering some of
the darker tracks like Town With
No Cheer a little cumbersome,
but a healthy injection of
combative femininity makes for
wonderful reimaginings of Song
For Jo, among others.
Her take on the title track,
moreover, loses none of its
original vigour, while her gentler
version of I Don’t Wanna Grow
Up successfully consigns Jonny
Ramone to the rubbish tip.
To render Waits’ songs more
melodic might sound like
blasphemy, but Johansson,
supported by an array of talented
and adventurous musicians,
pulls it off emphatically; true to,
but not restrained by, the aura
of Waits as a poet and vocalist.
Shame about that follow up
record of twee duets with Pete
Yorn...
Image: jingdianmeinv
FEIST
METALS
CambridgeStudent
Have I Got Blues For You
Week four-and-a-half: we’re
now fully into term, under stress,
out of pocket and generally in
the shit. How better to distract
yourself from the resulting
misery than to check out one of
the surprisingly frequent jazz
nights in Cambridge.
First out of the 2010/11 gate
was Caius Jazz with a solid
start to the season, boasting an
intriguing format. The regulars
kicked the evening off but it
took a couple of songs for them
to look settled. It was initially
difficult to feel safe in the hands
of the nervous trumpeter, but
once they relaxed we were
treated to a couple of tasty
solos on keys. However, it
was the two professionals that
significantly raised the game:
Dave O’Higgins effortlessly
released line after line of juicy
music and Clark Tracey was
exactly the rock that the group
needed, wielding an assortment
of cheeky fills for every
occasion. The only downside
to the evening was the lack of
preparation that confined the
team to jazz standards: had
they had more time together
who
knows what
they could
stewards_Layout
1 20/06/2011
18:04
have produced.
Next on the calendar was
Jazz@John’s, a consistent
gateway to current London
talent. Playing to the perfect
bar-centred setting The Sarah
Tandy Trio, an alumnus band,
featured
clean
bass-work
and a percussionist so busy
that he could have been two
drummers. It was Sarah herself,
though, that really made the
band, whipping out fresh and
angular solos at every turn; in
the end it was only her inward
playing that thwarted the
bigger reception that the band
deserved. Headlining were the
London-based Partikel, who
describe themselves as “three
musicians, all with very different
musical backgrounds” yet
presented a truly unified sound,
structure and theme. Obviously
extremely proficient, the trio
were capable of some very
moving moments, but couldn’t
quite sustain the attention of
the crowd throughout. The
night in general was one to
recommend to anyone, as usual
featuring jazz and atmosphere
of a quality as high as you’ll
find1 for miles.
Page
Friendly and reliable
VOLUNTEER CONCERT STEWARDS
required for 11 concerts at
West Road Concert Hall
11 West Road, Cambridge CB3 9DP
October 2011 – May 2012
ENDELLION STRING
QUARTET
Photo: Eric Richmond
‘Resident Quartet’,
University of Cambridge
The Endellion is arguably the
finest quartet in Britain’
– The New Grove Dictionary
of Music and Musicians
CAMBRIDGE INTERNATIONAL
PIANO SERIES
BRAND NEW SERIES featuring
leading, international pianists.
Artistic Director: Martin Roscoe
In exchange for a free concert ticket, stewards (4 per concert)
are needed to help with ushering and selling tickets, programmes
and CDs – and generally being a friendly and helpful point of contact
for the audiences. If you would like to join the team of volunteers,
please email [email protected] or ‘phone Hazard
Chase on 01223 312400. Please let us know whether you would
prefer to steward for the Endellion String Quartet or for the Piano
Series (or if you would be happy with either!).
Concert dates are:
ESQ – 19 October 2011, 30 November 2011, 18 January 2012,
7 March 2012, 25 April 2012 and 9 May 2012
CIPS – 12 October 2011, 16 November 2011, 25 January 2012,
15 February 2012 and 2 May 2012.
We look forward to hearing from you!
To complete our trio, Clare
Cellars funked itself up to
host Clare Jazz, a party if ever
there was one. Packed into the
unearthly surroundings of the
ex-crypt, the audience were
more than up for it – all the
bands had to do was provide.
First up were the home-grown
Brass Funkeys who sported the
in-house sousaphone. A bit like
a French horn on steroids, this
novelty instrument epitomised
the band as a whole: a true
entertainment machine. To
follow were the no less punchy
Hot Botz Brass Band. These
blokes had a point to prove
and tightness didn’t even begin
to describe it: the performance
quality of the players was as
exhausting as it was stunning.
Yet there was a lack of the
sense of fun that had preceded
them, and in the end it was
the crowd’s merriness that
kept the atmosphere afloat.
Nevertheless, the evening’s
combination was what the
doctor ordered – a worthy end
to a smashing cluster of yearopeners, and sure sign of good
things to come. Jeremy Evans
MUSIC
Bebop ‘til you Drop
Lifting the lid on the Cambridge jazz scene
Luis de Bethencourt
The
The
CambridgeStudent
FILM
Want to get involved in Film & TV?
What’s your favourite scary movie?
The Orphange
The success of Bayona’s El
Orfanto (The Orphanage) lies in
its simplicity. It avoids the cheap
scares and gore of so many “horror”
films around; instead, the film
focuses on the psychological, the
unnerving paranoia and fear of a
desperate mother. Like Guillermo
del Toro’s Pan’s Labyrinth, the film
is a sublime mix of the beautiful
and the brutal, as we follow the
mother’s rollercoaster of emotion.
I defy any audience not to feel
their pulse quicken during the
unbearably tense ‘Uno, Dos, Tres’
scene. If you’ve seen this film, you
can’t fail to agree; if you haven’t,
why not? Matthew Benton
Braindead
Nailing zombie comedy long before
Shaun of the Dead, Braindead
combines gross-out gore with
slapstick, and in one particularly
disgusting scene, custard with
blood. In 1950s New Zealand,
mollycoddled Lionel battles both
zombies and mummy issues in a
genuinely sweet love story. Peter
Jackson’s low budget horror comes
from the time before he had more
money than sense, containing some
dodgy stop motion and the world
record for most fake blood used.
Packed with extremely quotable
one-liners, the funniest “zombie
baby” scene, the most ludicrous
instance of sentient zombie
parts, and an absurdly Freudian
showdown, Braindead’s silly, sticky
charm shines through 19 years
later. Abi See
Misery
If overly gory films like Saw and
Hostel are not your cup of tea,
or in my case always seem to be
more comedic than horrific, then
Misery is the perfect film choice.
More a psychological thriller than
downright horror (although the
bloody scenes featured are not for
the faint-hearted!), it narrates the
story of Paul Sheldon, a popular
James Patterson-type writer saved
by a nurse, who also happens to be
a big fan, after an almost fatal car
accident. Set in the isolated and
snowy wilderness, it creates the
perfect setting for a man trapped
in the unhealthy obsession of a
woman who cares about his books
just a little too much. Davina Levy
Antichrist: “I’m still disturbed”
28 Weeks Later
The leads find themselves lost
in a pitch-black corpse-ridden
London Underground, stalked by
a rabid Robert Carlyle and able to
see only through the night-vision
scope of the rifle one of them is
subsequently battered to death
with. It introduced an entirely new
cast, starred floppy-haired child
actors, British characters were
replaced by Americans, and the
title is an exquisitely lame parody
of its predecessor: it should have
been dire, but 28 Weeks Later is one
of the most intense, gory and fun
additions to the zombie-apocalypse
subgenre, and manages to deliver
both goosebumps and helicopterdiced entrails with equal panache.
Matthew Tyler
Antichrist
Lars Von Trier’s stylised masterpiece
is a triumph of psychological
disruption. Sex and death essentially
form the plot; Willem Dafoe’s and
Charlotte Gainsbourg’s unnamed
characters remove themselves to
the woods to cope with the death
Zentropa Entertainments
With Halloween just behind us, we asked you to tell us about the movies that give you the creeps...
of their young son, in the light
of Gainsbourg’s self-destructive
breakdown. There are few horror
films (none that I know of) that
successfully merge the primal horror
of smashing a conscious man’s
penis with a wooden block with
discomfiting allegoric intimations
that we live in a perverted universe
- that nature is sick and ugly and
ungentle. I watched this film as an
undergraduate with seven of my
friends, and by the end, only two
of us were left. I’m still disturbed.
Callan Davies
Tate Taylor
12A
137 mins
Backdrops of farmland and plantation
houses are reminiscent of Gone with
the Wind, but The Help’s storyline is far
removed from those glory days of the
white man’s South. Set in 1960s Jackson,
★★★★☆
Mississippi, the film charts the lives
of black maids and white employers in a state renowned for
its unyielding adherence to the laws of segregation. Skeeter
Phelan (Emma Stone) is growing increasingly disgusted by
the way her friends treat “the help”. She decides to write a
book of interviews with black maids about their experiences
- an extremely dangerous pursuit, considering the codes of
Southern society.
Director Tate Taylor has successfully captured the spirit
of Kathryn Stockett’s novel, and there are many wonderful
moments. The rapport between maids Aibileen (Viola Davis)
and Minny (Octavia Spencer) is brilliant, with Spencer’s
volcanic “sass-mouthing” bound to win as many laughs as
Davis’ world-weary eyes, while soulful narrative voice-overs
will draw tears. Yet the most affecting moments of the film are
those revealing the genuine love shared by a black maid and
the innocent, unprejudiced white children she raises.
The Help has been criticised for its shying from the grim
reality of the era. The anticipated scene in which Skeeter sits
down with maids to hear of their suffering feels like a cop-out:
no maid mentions the particulars of past woes. Nor do we get
a real sense of how many livelihoods – or, indeed, lives - are
threatened by the publication of Skeeter’s book. Ultimately,
it is a very enjoyable and faithful adaptation, but would pack
even more of a punch if it had the courage to properly explore
disturbing, historical truths, and not just pull on heart strings.
Lizzy Donnelly
22| Film
Steven Spielberg
PG
101 mins
Adapting any book or comic for
the screen is difficult at the best
of times. However, as one of the
most popular cultural icons of the
twentieth century, Tintin is hardly
★★★★☆
a project to be entered into lightly.
Created by Georges Rémi in 1929 (under the pseudonym
Hergé), the comics follow the adventures of the young Belgian
investigative journalist, straddling almost every genre, from
political satire to adventure and fantasy. Tintin first appears
in his newest incarnation having his portrait painted by a
strangely familiar artist, and as the camera pans round, the
modern, motion capture Tintin is juxtaposed with Hergé’s
original illustration. It is visual tributes like this, and other
small touches, that make this film special.
The film is densely packed with a mix of three original stories,
making it quintessential Tintin. Having found a model of the
ship the Unicorn, containing one of three clues to the location
of its sunken treasure trove, Tintin, Snowy and Captain
Haddock face a race against time to stop the riches falling
into the wrong hands. The mix of action, sharp humour and
occasional silliness encapsulates the mass appeal of the comics
for a new audience. Undeniably, Tintin is a really beautifully
made film. In an extraordinary single-take motorbike chase
through an African marketplace, the graphics are at their best
and the skill of Spielberg and Jackson is obvious. However,
there are moments where the incredibly realistic and sensitive
expressions of the characters clash with an unnerving deadeyed appearance. You don’t need an expansive knowledge of
Tintin’s heritage to enjoy this film. It is fast paced, funny, and
certainly one of the cinema events of the year. Don’t miss it.
Emily Newton
Miss Bala
Miss Bala does not make for an easy Gerardo Naranjo
15
viewing. The story follows Laura
113 mins
Guerrera, a young girl from Mexico
who applies for a place in a local beauty
pageant. However, bad luck throws her
★★★★☆
right in the middle of a drug war where
she catches the eye of a notorious gang leader, Lino. Things
go from bad to worse as director Gerardo Naranjo doesn’t
shy away from depicting the rotten corruption of Mexico’s
political core.
Laura (played by Stephanie Sigman) gives a brilliant
performance ranging from absolute shock, horror, to
responsibility and resolve. Her performance carries the whole
film, as her character attempts to do the right thing while
being constantly faced with new moral dilemmas. It is a
credit to Sigman’s portrayal of Laura that I found myself truly
invested in her character - every turn of her terrible adventure
felt like a blow.
The intensity of the film is also dependent on the major
villain (as played by Noe Hernandez). Lino is a hardened
criminal whose slyness and cunning leave no hope for his
opponents. He is abusive, predatory and there is a sense of
power about him; the scenes of him ogling Laura are the most
unpleasant ones in the whole film.
Overall, this is a well-crafted film that manages to address
important though highly unpleasant issues from a very
human perspective. My only criticism is that it felt a little
too long. The snappy action scenes were often interrupted
by prolonged moments of confusion that were rather tiring.
Still, a worthy entry for Best Foreign Language Film for the
Academy Awards 2012.
Sasha Brenton-Virt
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REVIEWS
The
CambridgeStudent
TELEVISION
“I’m going to give it 110%, Lord Sugar”
I
could watch The Apprentice
continually until asteroids
penetrated the atmosphere
and torched all human
achievement like an arsonist
in the National Archives, and feel
satisfied that my lonely life had
served a smidgeon of purpose. It’s
like cake, only nicer, and not tainted
with the nose grease of a thousand
spotty Portal fanboys squealing
over how much of a lie it is.
But I wasn’t excited for The Junior
Apprentice’s return last Monday. The
first season of The Junior Apprentice,
or The Young Apprentice, as it was
unnecessarily renamed, the Beeb
confusing its budget with character
count, depressed me. Rather than
exposing the idiocy of today’s
businessmen and women, whose
fates are so far beyond saving it’d be
easier lynching a bloke made from
air, the Young Apprentice had a go at
their children. It was the televisual
equivalent of a shouty Victorian
school master, doing more to
damage the reputation of young
people than University Challenge.
So, when this year’s selection
of smarmy, snot-nosed teenagers
marched across Millennium Bridge
in their massive suits and stupid
shoes, I wasn’t cheering.
The decent candidates – James
McCullagh, or Henry from
Eraserhead, and Mahemed Awale,
a tiny man with a Lego watch –
weren’t even decent. They spent
a good chunk of the programme
arguing about pirates, and a further
bit debating the relative tastiness
of melon flavoured ice cream. The
latter seems a no-brainer. Melon
is something like ninety-two
percent water, so it’s the equivalent
of tucking into a tub full of water
balloons. Peppered with rain. Not
even acid rain. Just rain. They’d have
been better selling urine slush, or
uranium ice lollies. At least they’ve
got a bit of something about them.
To be fair, the seventh series of
the proper Apprentice, which aired
earlier this year, wasn’t much better.
The candidates looked like lizards.
Like, actual lizards. It was as though
the BBC had drilled deep into
the core of the earth to audition
candidates from the long dormant
reptilian race. Tom Pellereau, or
David Tennant on hunger strike, the
season’s winner, shared the jagged
incisors and flickering eyes of a shy
velociraptor; archetypal Irish police
lieutenant Jim Eastwood resembled
Aladar from the Disney movie,
Dinosaur; and Natasha Scribbins,
BBC Pictures
David Rattigan reflects on Lord Sugar, reptilian overtones and overlords in the new Junior Apprentice
whose name would suit a character
in an erotic remake of Trumpton,
had a square, protruding chin like
an aged tortoise. I was particularly
unnerved by Susan Ma who couldn’t
say “product” without coughing
up globs of phlegm. “Prodacht!
Prodacht!” It was like the mating
call of a housebound pterodactyl.
As
the
slimy
herd
of
entrepreneurial lizards flaunted
their scales and barbed wire
teeth at the trio of disapproving
millionaires, I wasn’t sure if I
was watching Jurassic Park does
America’s Next Top Model, or an
extraterrestrial talent contest where
a panel of wrinkled sages were
called to find Jabba the Hutt a more
sophisticated aide than the one with
the saggy sausage hair.
Whatever it was, I never want
to see it again. Even David Icke
was disturbed, and it takes a lot to
confuse the Son of God.
The Young Apprentice is showing on
Mondays, 9pm, BBC1
The
CambridgeStudent
THEATRE
Want to get involved in Theatre?
The Fletcher Players
Corpus Playroom Mainshow
7pm
Quake
★★★★☆
Rhian Lewis is moved by a strong cast in a new play by Siân Docksey at the Corpus
Playroom this week
I
haven’t experienced many
occasions where a play has
ended, the actors have left the
stage and yet the audience
have been left in silence for a
few moments before breaking into
an excited murmur. The general consensus seemed to be that this was a
very special play indeed. Quake looks
at the life of Anoush and her family,
when Anoush’s place of work, The
King David Hotel in Jerusalem, was
bombed by a Zionist paramilitary
group in 1946.The play, written and
directed by Siân Docksey, is sensitive, moving and well constructed. It
is made all the more poignant by the
fact that it is based on the memories
of Locksey’s grandmother, who was
trapped under the telephone switchboard after the building collapsed.
The general consensus
seemed to be that this
was a very special play
Quake
indeed.
24| Theatre
7pm - until Sat 5th Nov
whole thing picked up and rattled
along excellently. Sweeney himself
was utterly delightful - in many musicals, you get people who can sing
and people who can act, but Mike
Craddock did both with aplomb and
an intense and captivating obsession with murder. A little physically
restrained at first, his body soon
became as expressive as his voice.
Another star was Tobias (Michael Hamway) who ran the
gamut from showman to madman with assurance, and the Beggar Woman (Harrit Flower) who
was touchingly tragic and really
ought to play Fantine in Les Mis
one day. Special mention must
also go to Hiroshi Amako’s Beadle
who turned a potentially dull part
into just the right side of farcical.
All the violence in the show is,
to be honest, a bit lame. Sweeney’s
death chair in particular was guiltily amusing. But then it is so hard to
kill people onstage or lug dead bodies around that I think I can forgive
what really is a relatively minor flaw
in an excellent production. Had the
director had more of a “vision”, or
liaised better with his production
team, a more coherent performance could have been achieved,
but there is a darkly enticing core
here which is not to be missed.
Suzie Burlton
It wasn’t too heavy
handed. It didn’t try
to deal with too many
complex issues all at
once. And ultimately
it was all the more
moving for that.
Finally, the ‘dream within a dream’
framework had the potential to look
very clichéd. However, the use of a
‘flash forward’ to Anoush’s old age,
and the traumatic memories still
haunting her years on, make this a
very subtle exploration. And that is
what made this play so good. It wasn’t
too heavy-handed. It didn’t try to deal
with too many complex issues all at
once. Instead, what it did explore
was clear, concise, and ultimately,
it was all the more moving for that.
Quake runs until
Saturday 5th November
★★★☆☆
Fitzpatrick Hall, Queens’
ADC Mainshow, 7.45pm
Until Sat 5th November
G
eorge Johnston’s An
Enemy of The People
is an interesting
interpretation of one
of Henrik Ibsen’s
finest plays. The production had
more comic undertones than
normal for such a performance.
Ibsen has always been celebrated
for his tragedy, with comedy
acting as a mere relief from
the serious dialogues, so the
production had a mammoth task
ahead if it was going to challenge
the convention so radically.
Nevertheless, on the whole, this
enjoyable production succeeded
in creating its own successful
brand of Ibsen. Lines such as “You
take care of the home and I’ll take
care of society’ and “Women are
fickle creatures”, elicited robust
laughter from a predominantly
ADC
I
wrote a skit once about two
people being physically next
to each other but seeing totally different surroundings.
While watching Sweeney
Todd I felt like I was watching several productions at once. Most of
it eventually gelled well, but there
were some bizarre elements. The
costumes were neither period nor
modern: while Judge Turpin wore
a suit three sizes too large, Johanna turned up in a hoodie. It wa
either ill-judged or just careless.
And the lighting. Oh, the lighting. I am going to totally discount
the lighting for the rest of this review because I feel sure that something must have gone horribly
wrong, which they will sort out by
tomorrow, because surely no-one
can actually have designed lighting
like that. The cues were slow, when
it was on it was bland and flat, and
when off any artistic torch-work was
lost because the blackout was radically not black. Sweeney Todd can
be such a creative show and absolutely nothing had been done with
the lighting as far as I could see. But
anyway, let’s ignore it as a ghastly
mistake and get on with things.
The beginning was slow, but that’s
partially a problem with the musical
itself and its typically Sondheimy
backstory-catch-up. However, after
Pirelli’s Magical Elixir arrived, the
the members of this cast, she didn’t
drop her character for a second.
Enemy of the People
Sweeney Todd
★★★★☆
My main criticism of the play is
of the chorus at the very beginning:
the entire cast assembled on stage,
and each actor spoke quickly, clearly
and in short sentences or fragments
to create the setting. This technique
was very effective when the chorus
gathered later in the play, but for the
very first scene, it was a case of too
much information too quickly for
an audience who might not be familiar with the complex historical
background. Elsewhere however,
the way the cast worked together
as a group, and with the excellent
music, film and lighting (created
by Lawrence Dunn, Ben Smith and
Livvy Quirke), really set this production apart. The telephone exchange
scene was a particular highlight.
Every member of the cast was
strong. Particular mention must go
to Lydia Morris-Jones, Holly Marsden and Emma Powell as sisters
Anoush, Miryam and Raqel respectively. Their relationship was played
with the right mix of humour and
poignancy, as was the relationship
between Anoush and Ernest (Hugh
Wyld). Emma Powell was especially engaging in the entire range of
parts that she played. Her face was
incredibly expressive and like all of
feminist/equalist
Cambridge
crowd. The cast had anticipated
this and strategic pauses had been
inserted to allow the audience
to completely express its mirth.
The production, however, did
need to show that it grasped the
gravity of Ibsen’s play in order
to be considered anything above
mediocre; it did not disappoint in
this regard and the tragic scenes
were performed splendidly. One
of the most moving scenes in
the whole play was the first fight
between Stockman and Major:
the audience seemed mesmerised,
in awe of the earnestness of the
emotions portrayed. The final
line of “The strongest man always
stands alone”, was so heartfelt
that it left me longing for more.
Tom Russell (Dr Stockmann)
started off shakily and was even
annoying during some of his
humorous lines. However, once into
more serious dialogue, he was the life
of the play. He played the character
of a misunderstood, disillusioned
doctor with amazing sincerity and
it was hard to find any moments
when he seemed out of character.
Similarly, Quentin Beroud (as
Major) was a genuine spectacle of
authority and political shrewdness.
In comparison, the other characters
were not as convincing and could
be artificial at times; however, since
the two leading actors performed
so well, this flaw was masked
effectively and the audience
seemed not to have noticed.
The decision to have the angry
mobs next to the audience’s seats
was a good one. Although, it did
lead to the audience having to
crick their necks to locate the
various sources of commotion,
this was surpassed by the feeling
of involvement it created. I must
also commend the casting of
the alcoholic townsperson, who
was
thoroughly
convincing.
Overall, despite the show’s
minor
imperfections,
I
would highly recommend
it.
Zulfiqar Ali
The
CambridgeStudent
THEATRE
Kings
Kings
Corpus Playroom Lateshow
9.30pm
Aurien Compton-Joseph is disappointed by this week’s Corpus Lateshow,
discovering that one star turn can’t save a show
T
he awkward moment
when you realise a play
is only worth two stars.
If you’re not familiar
with it, let me describe
it to you. You’ve sat in a half full (or
empty) Corpus Playroom for half
an hour, watching uncomfortably
as lines fall increasingly flat, acting
becomes stiffer with every passing
second, the already sparse set
falls apart before your eyes, and
injustice is done to a fairly creative
concept. Quite simply, Kings should
have been much better than it was.
In a place where many of our
peers will go on to see their names
in lights or print, whilst others will
be destined only to say “I used to be
friends with...”, Cambridge should
have been the perfect place for a
play about old friends, ego, jealousy,
and the ugly side of fame. Although
the audience were supposed to feel
increasingly tense as old issues
resurfaced and true colours were
revealed, this was only partially
successful and all too often Kings
was uncomfortable and awkward
for all of the wrong reasons.
One of the stars is given because
I love an awkward moment as
much as the next person, the
Anderman
★★★★☆
Christ’s New Court Theatre
O
7pm - until Sat 5th Nov
n discovering the
premise of the
ambiguously-titled
Anderman, I feared
it would tumble
into the clichéd pitfalls surrounding any depiction of the ‘tortured
genius’: such portrayals commonly
totter on that risk-ridden border
between being heart-wrenching and utterly devoid of empathy. Both written and directed
by Jamie Patton – an admirably
bold move – Anderman requires
no treatment for this ailment.
The eponymous music student’s
descent towards heartlessness was
perfectly-pitched: he was odious
and detestable, yet never incomprehensible. Harry Sheehan’s occasionally brutal but always relatable portrayal was a major facet
in the striking nature of the plot:
moments reminiscent of Stanley
Kowalski abounded. Julian Mack
(Tom), with the unenviable task of
giving a heartfelt and original spin
to the familiar figure of the best
friend madly obsessed with the
protagonist’s “lover” (a term overused in the dialogue to a slightly
humorous extent), presented an
impressively understated interpretation, contrasting with the radical
Anderman. Equally rich in subtlety
was Will Morland’s tutor Charles,
with his world-wearied expres-
sions and gestural agitations in the
uncontrollable outbursts of emotion stemming from his creative
frustration and jealousy – yes, a
gold-star for those envisaging Salieri in Shaffer’s Amadeus. These
eruptions were by far the most
deep-cutting in a piece perhaps
littered with a little too much raw
rage, to the extent that the final
scenes err on the underwhelming.
Patton’s direction was spot-on with
superb details, including Charles’
ill-fitting jacket, which formed a
visual manifestation of his despair
at his lack of personal achievement,
and the opposing desks in Act I
enabling comparison between the
protagonist and his best friend.
However, there were weaknesses: neither Anderman’s Orpheusbased opera nor his girlfriend Julia
remotely merited the extent of the
struggles they caused. The quality
of singing in the opera scenes was a
great shame, and Julia (ably played
by Claire Healy) was portrayed as
so psychopathic that it raised questions regarding the sanity of the other vertices of the love-triangle. Add
to that an inconsistent and clichéd
Irish accent – inexplicably wannabe-beatnik open mic host, and
the piece was by no means perfect.
This said, overall Anderman
remains a high-quality piece of
student writing generally performed to great effect. Bearing a
message that a sadly large number of Cambridge students probably ought to heed, expect to see
those involved walking to lectures
with a deservedly springy step.
Benjamin Norris
★★☆☆☆
other is reserved for Dominic
Biddle. As James Martin, the rising
star to chat-show host Dylan
King’s (Edward Eustace) falling
one, Biddle was pitch-perfect.
Channelling Russell Brand, he was
positively effervescent as Martin’s
public persona, yet equally able to
present the man behind the mask,
and reveal deeper layers of real
pain, intelligence and conscience
whenever the ‘live’ lights went
off. Biddle aside, the other casting
was problematic and ultimately
undermined the play’s promising
potential. As nervous intern
Sam, Lizzie Schenk was anxiety
personified: her jitters and pathetic
desire to please will resonate with
anyone who has ever done work
experience. The problems came,
however, when other emotions
were required of her. ‘Happy’ also
came off as anxious, ‘authoritative’
was actually anxious, and anger
looked like...well you get the idea.
The biggest issue though, was
with Edward Eustace in his role as
King. Imagine (if you can), Daniel
Radcliffe filling in for Jonathan
Ross and you’ll have a good idea of
what went wrong. Eustace lacked
the charisma of Ross, the likeability
of Parkinson, the humour of
Norton and the “don’t-mess-withme-ness” of Paxman. However
what he lacked in all these typical
presenting traits, he certainly made
up for in squinting and strange
facial movements. He wasn’t
bad, just not entirely believable.
Imagine (if you can),
Daniel Radcliffe filling
in for Jonathan Ross
and you’ll have a good
idea of what went
wrong
Even the director seemed to know
he was on to a losing streak. His
simple note of “thanks for coming”
in the programme was telling
of his fear that perhaps no-one
would. These fears were only halffounded. They came, they saw, but
they were ultimately disappointed.
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Kings runs until
Saturday 5th November
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PRINTED AND
EMBROIDERED
STASH!!!!
SPORT
The
CambridgeStudent
1940 km from Vienna to the Black Sea
George Savell
George Savell
On Thursday 11th August 2011, after packing, rationing, and a quick
‘yes we still float’ test run, we set off
to paddle 1940km down the Danube.
Apart from the physical challenge
of paddling 8-10 hours per day, the
secondary objective was to produce a
mini-guide book, in order to encourage sustainable travel on the river.
We launched into a roaring stream
and into Vienna, the first capital city.
Somewhat lacking in experience, we
spent the first day learning to paddle
the hard way. The first set of rapids
was nerve-wracking to say the least.
Fortunately we survived without
mishap.
Our next surprise was quite how
big the shipping is on the Danube!
Tankers and cruise-liners over 100m
and tugs pushing strings of up to six
75m barges charge up and down at a
cracking pace, creating huge waves.
With Vienna astern, we stopped
for lunch on a tiny gravel beach; a
welcome chance to stretch and relax
in the shade. Disaster struck as an armada of ships came barrelling out of
the lock, kicking up monster waves,
tossing our kayaks onto the rocks.
We dived in, but all we could do
was hold on and prevent the worst of
the damage. All of the hatches were
open, and we watched helplessly as
items were washed into the river.
After discovering that our essential
hatch covers did’t float we spent an
hour worriedly ‘dredging’ for them,
fortunately recovering everything.
Repacked, we headed for our first
lock. We had no idea of procedure;
we waited for the doors to open for
a cruise-liner and paddled into the
narrow gap. Predictably this prompted a good deal of shouting and arm
waving. As it turns out, you should
call the lock keepers (with a radio we
didn’t have...) before entering.
The lock was huge, and we spent an
amusing 20 minutes slowly sinking
into the massive concrete box alongside an entire ship full of tourists busily photographing us. Paddling out
into the Lobau National park with
the sun setting over the Vienna skyline was a special experience.
Highlights of the next two weeks
included campfires, gorgeous beach
campsites, a wander around the
beautiful town of Esztergom on the
famous Danube Bend, loads of naked Slovakians, an evening paddle
through Bratislava and wild camping
in the centre of Budapest.
Late on day 16, the usually frequent
camping opportunities had all but
vanished and we were considering
climbing onto an abandoned dredger, when a Serbian man came chugging by in his tiny fishing boat. After
much gesturing and with no English
at all, he convinced us to follow him,
albeit apprehensively. He turned out
to be incredibly friendly and great
fun as well. His wife gave us dinner,
and he filled our glasses relentlessly
with tuica, a potent home-made plum
brandy. It was amazing to have a real
bed to sleep in, and they wouldn’t
let us leave in the morning without
more tuica, some coffee and bags of
garden vegetables. They waved us off
as we paddled away, nursing the first
hangover of the expedition.
We used cycle maps the whole
way, but with 348km to go the map
ran out as the bike route turned away
from the river. Unfortunately, this is
exactly the point where the navigation gets tricky. It took us a total of 17
minutes to get lost.
Despite our frustration, it was a
chance to see much more of Romanian life. We paddled past goat
herders’ shacks, fishermen trawling
with 100m nets (all of whom tried
to sell us a variety of suspicious looking fish!), gypsies with animals and
farmers ‘harvesting’ mud from the
river bed and carting it off in horsedrawn wagons.
With 140km to go, the km markers vanished to be replaced by nautical mile posts. This confused us for
a while as the numbering suddenly
jumped to 75. This is the lower section which is navigable by ocean going ships, many of whom did their
best to run us down!
Here, the north bank becomes
Moldova and then Ukraine. Entering
Ukraine, a line of rusting watch towers stretches into the distance. As we
crossed the ‘line’, two soldiers in full
camouflage and carrying rifles ran
out of the trees, jumped into a speed
boat, and started the sirens wailing.
When it became clear that their boat
wasn’t going to start they resorted to
shouting and waving as we paddled
on by.
From here on we were in the Danube Delta; full of wildlife and marshy
backwaters. The ‘end’ in Sulina was a
little bit of a let-down. After such a
long way it seemed there should be
more to it than a small post next to a
rusting shipyard and a muddy beach.
Due to rapid land mass growth in
the delta, the ‘real’ sea was still 8 miles
further downstream.
With no time to paddle there and
battle back against the current, we
made do with the very pleasant atmosphere of Sulina. We enjoyed dinner, a real bed, the company of some
friendly locals, and got the hydrofoil
back upstream to start out on the
2000 mile trip home.
A huge thank you goes to all our
sponsors, who made this trip possible: Aquapac, Rooster Sailing, Vango
and Avoncraft who all made generous kit donations.
ent because of things such as the
stances in kata.
ball. Also, we are some of the most
competitive people in the club and
are training more intensely, so if we
don’t get too seriously injured, it
suggests that it’s not too bad.
possible. Coming up over the next
few weeks is the Karate National
England Championships, then after
that there’s the Student competition. Personally, I’d like to get back
to winning ways after a period out
with injury [Emma has previously
won gold medals at both the English Championships and British
Championships.]
Francisco: I would like to compete
for England in the European Championships. I should say that on an
international level, it’s a shame that
the sport isn’t in the Olympics because of constant debating about
what rules should be used. There
are many governing organisations.
It’s quite a complex situation - imagine something like ten FIFAs.
Interview: Cambridge Karate Champions talk to TCS
Ollie Guest
Deputy Sports Editor
Ollie Guest
Karate is a sport that few people
know about. Ask your average
Tom, Dick or Harry what the difference between Kata and kumite
is and you’ll inevitably be met with
a blank expression. I was no different, so I caught up with Francisco
Martinez, a former Venezuelan national champion, and Emma Nunn,
the ladies captain of CUKC (Cambridge University Karate Club).
Please can you clarify some of the
karate terminology?
Emma: Karate means empty hand.
We practice Shotokan form, which
is the most widely practiced in the
country. Across all grades we practice kihon (basic techniques), Kata
(set sequences of movements) and
kumite (fighting).
Francisco: Karate is split into many
styles, and, although the club mainly practices Shotokan, it is also open
to other forms. My style is actually
called Soryu. The styles are differ-
So how did you both get involved
in karate?
Emma: When I was thirteen my
mum told me that I should get involved in something as I wasn’t a
particularly sporty child. I went to
some karate lessons that were happening at school. I was really fortunate with the coaches so I decided
to continue to do it.
Francisco: I actually started when
I was six - probably because of
watching too many cartoons! My
club in Venezuela was really competitive. My sensei was the coach
of the Venezuela team, so I really
liked it.
Do you sustain many injuries?
Emma: You get bruises but that’s
about it. Admittedly when I started
fighting it was bear knuckle [now
competitors wear mitts] against
people up to the age of thirty-two
when I was only sixteen. Unsurprisingly my mum was going nuts!
Francisco: I haven’t had any serious injuries - you are far more
likely to get injured playing foot-
Congratulations, Francisco, on
winning the Shotokan Cup. Tell me
about it.
Francisco: The Shotokan Cup is a
big competition by KUGB (Karate
Union of Great Britain). It is a major individual competition, and I
won the kumite - the fighting-event.
It involves just brown and black belt
fighters, so it is a top event, I guess.
Emma: To put Francisco’s achievement into some perspective, the
opponent he defeated in the semifinal was John McGoran, a member
of the England team who recently
came second in the world championship in America.
Very impressive. So what are both
of your other ambitions for the season?
Emma: Our number one aim as a
team is to win Varsity, which we
have won for the last five years.
However, there are other events
where we want to win as much as
How long do you envisage continuing karate?
Emma: As long as possible! At my
club back home you have sixtysomethings coming along; this isn’t
old masters who’ve been training
since they were five and are old
masters, but people who may only
have started in their late fifties.
Francisco: Same as Emma. As long
as my body will let me!
The
CambridgeStudent
30| Sport
College Football: Division 1 round-up Scrappy Win for Women’s
Homerton bulldozed Selwyn at
the weekend with a 5-0 victory.
Homerton started the game brilliantly
with Selwyn barely getting a touch
of the ball in the first half. After
Homerton had already spurned a
couple of early chances James Gingell
scored the opener, about 15 minutes
into the game. He then fed the ball
over the top for Barney Mayles who
provided a great finish low into the
right corner of the goal, making it 2-0
to Homerton at half time.
Soon after the break Gingell added
his second with a sweet strike from
the edge of the box. Selwyn did
then finally manage to get into the
game, showing glimpses of getting
a foothold, but they never picked
up enough momentum to really
trouble the Homerton keeper. Their
attempt at a comeback lasted only 10
minutes, during which they created
two chances from which they could
have scored. This pressure was
broken after great play down the left
that saw left back Fletcher run clean
through on goal, slotting calmly into
the bottom corner.
Homerton then continued to press
hapless Selwyn as the possession play
returned, missing numerous clear
cut chances before substitute Sayed
poked in their fifth goal after a shot
from Elliott.
Steve Wildman and Dave Hawes
Jesus dominated from the start against
Trinity Hall but didn’t capitalise well
on their early pressure. Will Sheldon
scored with a fortunate free-kick to
give Jesus the lead. This proved to be
the catalyst for Jesus’ success.
After half-time Ollie Juggins
The match between Emma and
Downing, in which Emma triumphed
2-1, was not one for the neutral.
Much of the play was scrappy but
fiercely combative, with both sides
struggling to bring the ball down and
string many passes together.
It was Downing who opened
the scoring against the run of play,
with a blistering volley emphatically
meeting an out-swinging corner.
A few minutes later Jonny Parsons
hit back for Emma, nodding in a long
throw that had been flicked towards
the six yard box. A string of fouls in
the midfield interrupted play for the
rest of the half, while some big tackles
in the defence limited the chances at
either end.
Downing set up camp in the
Emma half after the break but lacked
the inspired final ball to convert their
territorial dominance into shots on
goal.
Freddie Highmore ran rings
around a tiring Downing and it was
Emma who dominated the final
minutes, their winning goal coming
from James Douglas.
Tom Wills
Also in action at the weekend were
Fitz, who managed only a 2-2 draw
with Christ’s after losing their lead.
Caius managed to come out victorious
with a 2-0 win over Trinity.
Tee-shirts
Polo shirts
Hoodies
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Sportswear
Blues
Olivia Lee
Olivia Lee
grabbed a hat-trick on his debut and
Harry Roocroft made it 5-0 to settle
proceedings.
Justin Maini
Cambridge
3
Sevenoaks
1
Sophie Davies
On Saturday the Women’s Hockey
Blues recorded their third win of
the season with a 3-1 victory over
Sevenoaks 2nd XI.
Both teams started promisingly,
but the first ten minutes saw
a midfield battle and very few
chances for strikes. Sevenoaks was
awarded the first short corner of
the game, but it proved to be the
first of many poorly taken short
corners throughout the afternoon
for both teams.
Cambridge were lucky to be equal
at the quarter hour mark, after a
great strike on goal from Sevenoaks
hit the post and then rolled across
the front of the goal.
With
end-to-end
action,
Cambridge came close to scoring
soon after, but Georgie Kilbourne
fumbled the chance, pushing the
ball narrowly wide. Both sides
became frustrated by their inability
Murray Edwards rowers
club together to raise £800
Eleanor Dickinson
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to maintain possession and as
tackles became sloppier the first
Green card was handed out to
Hannah Rickman.
Sevenoaks were unable to
capitalise on the free-hit and
Charlie Banfield broke beautifully.
Her great ball was flicked on by
Rickman to Victoria Mascetti who
opened the scoring for Cambridge
with a scrappy but decisive goal.
Now ahead, the Cambridge
girls played their best hockey of
the afternoon and it was not long
before a second great strike from
Mascetti gave Cambridge a greater
lead, though just before the stroke
of halftime Sevenoaks managed to
pull a goal back.
Cambridge still enjoyed much of
the possession in the second half
but their stick play on the ball was
half-hearted and they struggled to
make chances.
Luckily, as the second half drew to
an close Cambridge were awarded
a number of short corners in quick
succession. The afternoon had
been characterised by poor penalty
corners from both teams, but Mel
Addy changed the character of the
day, making the final score 3-1 with
a superb conversion.
Murray Edwards College Boat
Club this week took part in a 24
hour ergathon as part of a club
fundraising endeavour.
The ergathon started at 7pm on
Saturday evening, and lasted 24
hours until the following night. 39
people took part, raising over £800,
which will be put towards a new
boat.
The 39 ergers consisted of 33
Murray Edwards College Boat
Club members (including one cox
and two Blues triallists), 2 coaches,
2 fellows and 1 alumna, plus 2
people with no previous rowing
experience.
Together they managed to row
a grand total of 309.7km (192.4
miles), the equivalent of rowing all
the way to Antwerp in Belgium. As
a result, they have managed to beat
their previous 24 hour erg score of
287.8 in 2007.
The team averaged a split 2.23.27
altogether. Standout performances
came from Women’s Boat 1 rower
Reana Maier who averaged a split
of 2.11.43 over 75 minutes, while
fellow W1 rower Ola Janusz rowed
the furthest distance, achieving
20,318m.
A special mention goes to Captain
of Club, Wing Ying Chow, who
remained by the erg for the entire
24 hours, sleeping only briefly on
a conveniently placed giant teddy
bear. Chow and the W1 rowers
Sally-Anne Bennett and Amy Crow
all also achieved a distance of over
20km.
Attempts to alleviate the
boredom of the length and early
hour ergs were made by fellow
members reading aloud excerpts
from William Blake, T.S Eliot and
The Secret Thoughts of Cats.
In the spirit of fundraising, several
rowers did their ergs in impressive
fancy dress, standout costumes
consisting of a cow, Superwoman,
Poison Ivy and a ballerina.
The 24 hours ended in a
spectacular fashion as the W1
coach Mark Jacobs attempted to
beat Blues rower Izzi BoanasEvans’ time in a blue flowery all-inone. He succeeded, achieving an
impressive split of 1:45 over the 5
minute finale.
The
CambridgeStudent
Sport |31
Men’s Tennis Blues edge out Coventry in thriller Cambridge display all-round
8
Coventry
4
Cameron Johnston
The Blues consolidated their position at the top of the League with
an 8-4 win against Coventry University on Wednesday night.
After a draw and a win in their
opening matches, Cambridge and
Coventry were tied at the top of the
table. The Blues needed a win to
keep their promotion hopes alive.
In the opening doubles, Cameron
Johnston and Charlie Cohen made
a sluggish start. Their canny opponents took advantage of the lack
of space on the deuce court and
raced to a 6-2 lead. In the second
set the Cambridge pair snatched an
early break and eased into rhythm
on serve to take the match to a super tie-break (first to ten). At 5-2
up, they looked in fine fettle, but
Johnston allowed the pressure to
stiffen his arm. He served two double faults in succession and the duo
never quite recovered.
Jamie Muirhead and Sven Sylvester teamed up on the other
court. Muirhead’s curling out-wide
serves skimmed off the fast carpet
courts to frustrate his Coventry
opponents and Sylvester at the net
hit a series of Sampras-like dunk
smashes. The duo raced to victory
6-4, 6-1. After the doubles then, the
Cameron Johnston
Cambridge
tie hung in the balance at 2-2.
Johnston took the measure of his
opponent early in the first set of the
singles. A steady right-hander with
a rasping serve but limp groundstroke game, he offered repeated
opportunities to attack, but too
many wayward forehands scuppered Johnston as he gifted up the
first set, 6-3. From then on, Johnston hung on doggedly as his opponent threatened to break at the
beginning of the second set.
A medley of well struck forehands
painted the lines at 5-4 up, and the
second set was his. His confidence
buoyed, Johnston took the initiative to seal a three set win.
On the adjoining court, Sylvester
was struggling against a tricky lefty
opponent. The Trinity post-grad
played tentatively in the open-
ing set, allowing his opponent too
much freedom to dictate play with
his banana serve. Sylvester upped
his game to take the second set and
the match was eventually decided
on a third-set tie-break. The Coventry player stole it 7-5.
Cohen’s high-kicking serves
and top-spinned forehands paid
dividends as he conquered his opponent 6-4, 6-2, whilst on the end
court, Markides and his adversary
slugged it out. The Coventry player
was the faster draw in the first set,
but Markides clawed his way back
into the second set with some astounding forehands.
He broke immediately at the
start of the third, and weathered
a renewed assault as he roared his
way to victory, for both himself and
Cambridge.
excellence to triumph over Oxford
Cambridge
9796
Men
Oxford
Men
5928
Cambridge
Women 18632
Oxford
Women
14392
Katia Knight
To the Cambridge battlefields, the
Novice Pentathletes advanced last
Saturday, ready to take on visiting
Oxford. They were a threatening
opponent, but this is what our
exemplary team have been primed
for.
Pierre de Coubertin created
“Modern Pentathlon” in the 19th
century as the sport for the ideal
soldier. He (and she) must fight with
pistol and sword, swim, run, and
ride an unfamiliar horse (not part
of Saturday’s event, unfortunately)
- the ultimate test of stamina and
skill.
Or luck, since most novices were
embarking on their first competitive
event in the year. It was, in the words
of Brad Dixon, CUMPC President
‘hectic, as this competition always
is.’ Events were scattered around
town, from Chesterton to Abbey
Pool, via fencing off Bartrum Road
and a cheeky 3k at the Wilberforce
tracks.
The day started before 8am at
Elizabeth’s Way Range for the
shooting event: 4.5mm air-pistols
and 20 shots. CUMPC dominated
the score boards. Georgie Ward (St
Catherine’s) and Mathilde Speiss
were the two highest scorers in the
shooting, while Emily Marchant
(Newnham), who had only shot
once before, came fourth.
Teams then pedalled off to the
fencing where our champion fencer
Sam Littlejohns (Trinity) amazed
both teams with an unrivalled best
fence, making 21/25 hits.
In the running event the CUMPC
ladies were streaks ahead of any
Oxford counterparts, dominating
the podium. Star performances
came from Jade Peace (Trinity),
running 3km in 11.41, Vicky
Colgate (Magdalen) and Laura
Heath (Magdalen).
Despite the setting sun, the day
was not yet over: a 200 metre swim
was yet to come. Georgie Ward’s
outstanding swim sealed her first
place in the competition for girls,
seconded by Jade Peace. Henry
Delacave finished second for the
men, despite not yet having made
a session.
CUMPC is renowned for its team
spirit. Once again, Oxford were
outdone on every level, especially
with regard to the evening’s
Halloween fancy dress!
Statistical modelling in action
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The
CambridgeStudent
SPORT
Rugby Blues suffer a disappointing defeat...
Cambridge
12
Crawshay’s
24
Olivia Lee
Sports Editor
David Hardeman
Fireworks exploded above the pitch
last night as Crawshay’s Welsh XV
hammered home a win over a battling Cambridge side.
After last week’s 53-10 thrashing
of Coventry, the Blues were starting
to look like a force to be reckoned
with, but there was still good reason for nerves on Wednesday night
when facing the semi-professional
side of Crawshay’s Welsh XV.
It was clear that Crawshay’s were
going to make it tricky from the
start, immediately making inroads
towards the try line. Only when the
ball slipped forward out of Crawshay’s hands did Cambridge manage to muster a little control.
It was Crawshay’s Simone Ragusi who made the first significant
break of the game, eventually being
brought down close to the Cambridge posts. Cambridge scrabbled
for possession but an unfortunate
drop by O’Toole gave a scrum to
Crawshay’s.
Luck seemed to be favouring the
Blues for the first time as a Crawshay’s line-out went to Cambridge
and Greg Cushing made a break to
give the Blues a few more yards, but
then the momentum changed again
as Darren Ryan made a fantastic break and managed to hold off
Blues players to place the ball perfectly under the posts. The try was
easily converted, taking Crawshay’s
to a 7-0 lead.
Rob Stevens made an impressive
break but an over-zealous pass saw
the ball fly over his teammates arms
and the momentum was lost. Fortunately, another break followed
soon after, this time by Donald
Blake, sprinting down the centre of
the pitch.
Looking around for someone to
offload to, Blake was forced to go
it alone. Literally dragging Crawshay’s players with him, he managed to make his way up most of
the pitch before finally offloading.
Jason Kururangi placed the ball
neatly between the post, giving Stevens a straightforward conversion.
Crawshay’s started to gain momentum again but the half-time whistle
saved any further concessions on
Cambridge’s part.
It was Cambridge who came out
more aggressively after the break,
after a team talk so extended that it
provoked some watching supporters try (and fail) a slow clap.
There wasn’t much between the
two sides; both made advances
and retreats in turn for the first
ten minutes, but it was Crawshay’s
who were slowly edging closer to
another try. A scrum, which they
managed to push over the line, finally gave them the lead again and
Gareth David managed to convert
from a tricky wide position, widening the gap.
Another try for the Welsh side
came soon after, and although the
easy conversion was missed, at 19-7
it was doubtful that the Blues were
going to be able to make their way
back into the game.
They weren’t about to hand Crawshay’s a walkover, and the Blues
managed to hold firm, but chances
to break were few on the ground.
In the last ten minutes, Crawshay’s
again pushed up the field and Cambridge had to focus on blocking opposition tries, rather than scoring
any of their own.
Unfortunately, Crawshay’s eventu-
ally managed to break through the
struggling backs and Gareth Libbey
eased over the line, making it 24-7
after another failed conversion.
The match was moving towards a
gloomy close, then a monumental
slip up by Craywhay’s allowed Rob
Stephen to break. He had a clear
sprint up the pitch and over the
line, and Rob Stevens converted to
make the score line 24-14. Sadly,
with only minutes of play left, it
was all a little too late in the day.
The final whistle blew without further action.
...but the best is yet to come for the Football Blues
Cambridge
1
Bedford
0
Felix de Grey
David Hardeman
Successful promotion campaigns are
built on victories like this. That’s the
message that Blues coach Che Wilson
is likely to be reiterating to his players
in the coming weeks of the season.
To say that the team looked poor
here would undoubtedly be harsh,
but on this game’s evidence there is
no question that we have yet to see
the best of a talented squad.
On Wednesday, against a strong
Bedford side, the Blues lined up for
their first home game of the new
BUCS League season. The two teams
have had a few acrimonious meetings
over recent seasons and there were no
guarantees that this encounter was
going to be any different, especially as
both appear to have a genuine chance
of promotion.
The first half was a Blues exercise
in asserting superiority. Both teams
employed variations on a 4-4-2, but
crucially, the Blues’ forward pair took
turns to drop deep and the wingers
tracked back.
Wilson’s tactics were rewarded with
a dominant start. Left Winger Rory
Griffiths shot wide just three minutes
in and moments later headed a good
cross narrowly past the post. Bedford’s
robust style of play engineered little
in the way of chances and the early
indications were that last season’s
problem with defending long balls
was all but a distant memory for the
Blues. Indeed, it seemed only a matter
of time before Cambridge opened the
scoring.
And so it proved. In what was to be
a common theme of the first half,
Bedford lost possession near the
halfway line and were duly punished
when Dan Forde’s incisive through
ball found Haitham Sherif to bundle
home.
Forde’s brace from the bench in last
week’s 2-0 away win at Northampton
afforded him a starting spot on this
occasion and he duly rewarded his
manager’s decision. The St. John’s
first year combined well throughout
with his strike partner Sherif and the
pair’s marriage of pace, physicality
and intelligence bodes well for the
season.
The rest of the half was played
out in a more attritional fashion,
with an emphasis on hard work
and controlling high balls in the
midfield. Were it not for a succession
of Bedford corners towards the end,
Cambridge’s dominance would have
been absolute, and the Blues were
unlucky not to have been awarded a
penalty on half-time when a wayward
shot was handled in the box.
In contrast, the second half required
every ounce of energy and discipline
as the game started to open up.
Captain Ross Broadway, standing in
for the injured Paul Hartley, exuded
the calm authority the situation
demanded.
His message was simple: concentrate
on the basics and victory will
follow. Bedford, resurgent, began to
bombard the Blues’ box with long
balls and stopped counter-attacks
with increasingly meaty tackles.
There were three instances where the
opposition’s tactics might have forced
an equaliser but the Blues forged
chances of their own and will count
their profligacy as one of few negatives
in an otherwise encouraging victory.
The introduction of Dan Kerrigan
towards the end served further notice
of the strength in depth Wilson has
at his disposal. It will be interesting
to see if the striker can force his way
back into the starting XI in light of
this performance.
Post-game, Wilson impressed the
need for consistency but reasoned
that if the team plays to its full
potential, wins will keep arriving. On
this evidence, it’s hard to argue with
his logic.

eBay merchant rakes in cash by ripping off our boat club • TCS

Transcription

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