Clue: Vuitton gift vouchers, beer pagers and sex

What to
Buy
That Guy...
BAND OF OUTSIDERS 10TH ANNIVERSARY TIE SET
To celebrate, designer Scott Sternberg created this set of 10
ties available at B.O.O., 70 Wooster St, New York, $795
Clue: Vuitton gift vouchers,
beer pagers and
sex swings are out
“Ballet dancer? Not my son. Let’s get him the skis.”
Ego Gifters teeter on the brink of being Insulter
As a creative retailer and designer, it is easy for me Gifters, too, inclined to surprise you with gift certifito suggest amazing gifts. As a guy with a penchant for cates to the day spa that also does Botox, or a month’s
quality, taste and thought, I find myself more inclined trial at the latest swanky gym.
However, at least spa or gym vouchers are useful,
to discuss the gifters themselves, it just makes for
beware the total Gift Certificate Giver. They never
more fun.
Cheapskate Gifters are the ones with fancy cars give ENOUGH. Let me explain to all of you certificate
and lots of houses, who hand out $20 bills to each of fans out there; a $100 certificate to Louis Vuitton is
basically telling the receiver, “HA HA HA
the grandchildren for the holidays. To them,
merry fucking Christmas!” Especially when
$20 is the same as $10,000. Also, they count
the gift card amount is a mystery until you
the number of grandchildren and if there are
get to the store. A colleague was recently
10 then that’s $200. That’s a lot of notes, right?
given a gift certificate to Rag and Bone for
Funny though, these people are incredibly
$100. He walked into the store during a
high-maintenance when it comes to the gifts
sale and was told the only thing he could
they expect, requiring a Hermès scarf or a
buy was a $95 flask. The employees shook
Bottega spectacle case at the very least.
their heads in shame and mockingly sugIf you are lucky enough not to have the
gested his “friend” should have bought him
cheapskate in your family, beware the Novelty
a couple of drinks instead. This kind of gift
Gifters. The folks who get overly excited about
is pure evil and always ends up costing way
the Skymall catalog during tedious flights.
more than the person receiving can afford,
They order the beer pager, which allows you to
page your beer can, or a personalized branding BROOKS BROTH- or wanted to spend. These gift cards sit in
iron for steaks. I recall my parents buying my ERS RED FLEECE our wallets for years waiting for that extra
money to pop up so we can actually afford
brother a swinging mesh chair for his room one
COLOGNE
to use them in the store they are intended
year, not knowing it was a sex chair (he was 10).
The classic
for.
The tennis racquet clock from my in-laws also
American brand
Of course none of these types hold a cansticks. I am forever grateful for their thought- recently reentered
dle to the desperate Re-gifter. The countless
fulness because I love tennis, but the combinathe fragrance
tion of a leisurely game of tennis never quite game with a newer stories of this creature’s behavior are nasty
mixed with my feelings for the clock, a remind- scent aimed at the but to be fair, Re-gifters fall into two camps.
I remember receiving a wedding gift from my
er of work and the importance of time-keeping.
brand’s younger
neighbors with a gift card for them tucked
Sure, gift choices in the average shopping mall
customers. It’s an
can be samey but I am certain my wine-loving everyday fragrance away right inside. They had re-gifted a silver
candle holder that was a wedding present to
friends can live with out that wine glass holder
perfect for the
them, to us. It felt thoughtless and cheap. Last
necklace. Trust me, if you have never seen the
office or weekend
year one of my favorite people going through
gift you are contemplating in Skymall catalog
travels.
before in your life, there is probably a reason.
Available at Brooks- a money crunch gave me a Prada iPad holder.
Which brings me to the Ego Gifter, so ego- Brothers.com, $60 When I looked at it closely it had his initials
engraved in it. It was somehow not as bad as
inclined they imagine everyone either does or
should, think like them. So their gift-giving conversa- the former example. I was embarrassed for my friend.
I felt much more grateful to him for the thought than
tions go something like this:
Ego Gifter: “Lets buy Johnny skis this year for the iPad cover itself.
Remember, the gift you give is for the receiver. The
Christmas.”
Partner: “He hates skiing, he wants to be a ballet point is to show that you thought about them for a moment in your crazy life. Happy Holidays. n
dancer.”
PHOTOGRAPHS COURTESY THE DESIGNERS; HEADPHONES AND SABER EMILY ASSIRAN/NEW YORK OBSERVER
BY JAY KOS
20
RESTORATION HARDWARE GRAMOPHONE
FOR IPHONE
Restoration’s iPhonogram is an innovative way to amplify songs—and
best of all, there’s not a cord in sight.
The antique design includes
a simple docking station to
route your tunes through
the vintage horn.
Available at RH.com, $249
BURBERRY HERITAGE
CHARCOAL CHECK
CASHMERE SCARF
Cashmere scarves are the
most boring, yet useful of gifts.
Go hard if you’re gonna, with
Burberry’s version, which can
be monogrammed. Available at
Burberry.com, $535 (includes
monogramming)
NICE LAUNDRY SOCKS
No joke, Nice Laundry socks
come solo or in packs. An overhaul of a guy’s sock drawer costs
just $99 for 18 varieties.
Available at NiceLaundry.com, $99
NEW YORK OBSERVER • DECEMBER 1, 2014
MCM STARK CAMO LION BRIEFCASE
Forget your tote and opt for an old-school briefcase with a twist. Make like
the Chili Peppers in ’98 and go camo with this MCM classic. Available at
MCMWorldwide.com, $720
CAEDEN LINDEA COLLECTION
HEADPHONES
Caeden created slick, gold-licked headphones just in time
for the holidays. A perfect fit for the downtown gent, and
available exclusively on the Spring shopping app.
Available at ShopSpring.com, $149
Instead of falling into a gifter trap,
take a hint from our list
and remember, every guy loves a
touch of luxury.
HUXTER MEDIUM BLUE OXFORD #3
Huxter is a menswear newcomer born from Watch Hill,
R.I. , location of Taylor Swift’s summer hideaway. The
label modernizes prep classics. Available at HuxterGoods.com, $132
BY ZACHARY WEISS
THE WEBSTER FOR BERLUTI
MATINEE VENEZIA ROSSO
FLASH DOPP KIT
Miami’s hottest department store, The
Webster, called upon Berluti to create
a range of unmistakably Miami items
sporting a great white shark detail.
Available at The Webster
Miami ,$2,428
CANALI PURE CASHMERE SWEATER WITH RHOMBUS
PATTERN AND MINK FUR INSIDE
THE ARRIVALS LAUTNER MODERN
BIKER JACKET
Why should girls get all the fun with gilets this season?
Guys can get in on fur with this super luxe cardigan. Price on
application from Canali, 625 Madison Avenue, NY 10022
The Arrivals offers men a well curated selection of outwear,
including the Lautner leather jacket, a true staple for the winter
months. The back also includes an extra large ribbed knit detail
for warmth and easy movement.
Available at TheArrivals.com, $585
WATERFORD MAD MEN
COLLECTION CIRCON
DECANTER
Harness your inner Don
Draper with a retro Mad Men
Mixology set from Waterford
Crystal $395 ,
BAZ LUHRMANN FOR BARNEYS CHAMPAGNE SABER
For the guy who likes to slice through the top of a champagne bottle rather than pop the cork,
Baz Luhrman teamed up with Barneys this holiday season for “Baz Dazzled,” a variety of wacky
accessories, including a fur hot water bottle cover. Feel good about your purchase since
25 percent of sales will be donated to Room to Read.
Available at Barneys New York, $785
s
ersts
GRAY MALIN FOR ORLEBAR BROWN
SWIM TRUNKS
When winter has subsided, he’ll need a swimsuit.
Orlebar Brown’s limited edition collaboration
with Gray Malin has suffused the photographer’s
photos with swim trunks.
Available at OrlebarBrown.com, $345
MERCEDES-BENZ S550
The S550 isn’t exactly a car. Perhaps its
more of a studio apartment on wheels, in
the chicest way possible. It boasts massaging seats, fragrance ionization and filtration
of air through the HVAC system.
Available at Mercedes-Benz Manhattan
(770 11th Avenue), starting at $94,440
$99
NEW YORK OBSERVER • DECEMBER 1, 2014
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