august 27 - september 16, 2015

Transcription

VOLUME 13 ISSUE 12
#082715091615
READ THE PLANET, IT’S FREE
WWW.VALLEYPLANET.COM
(256) 533 • 4613
AUGUST 27 - SEPTEMBER 16, 2015
WHAT’S INSIDE?
A Seed from the Big Apple, Fancy and Tacky in Nashville,
Zee’s Rocket City bEAT, Seveneves, Auntie Jen’s Animal Crazy, Stem and Stein,
Steam Punk & the Beautiful Machinery, Who am I? What is my Password?,
News of the Weird, The Greatest Calendars on the Planet!!!
Stem and Stein
by Mike Ragoza
A
Fancy and Tacky in Nashville
F
ancy (fan-sea): 1. Impressive, ornate 2.
Song by Iggy Azalea
Tacky (tack-E): 1. Without taste 2. Song by
“Weird” Al parodying the Iggy Azalea song
See what I did there? Just wait. When it all comes
together, it’ll blow your mind! (not really)
So I had tickets to the “Weird” Al show in Nashville. On a Saturday. Naturally, I would need to
do two things:
1. Get a hotel reservation and do a fun Nashville
weekend
2. Make a shirt like the one Kristen Schaal wore
in the “Tacky” video
For the first one, I scoured the internet to find the
most expensive place I couldn’t afford. For the
second, I just went to a craft store.
Union Station Hotel in Nashville (UnionStationHotelNasvhille.com) is one of those buildings
I’ve driven past numerous times and was like
“ooooooh what is that?” and then promptly forgot
to look into it later. Also I think I just assumed it
was a train station, what with the train tracks and
the whole gigantic old school train station building. Turns out I was right. It used to be a train
station. Now it’s just a really cool looking hotel
with lots of train décor, including a gigantic train
schedule at the front desk. They host a lot of weddings there. Matter of fact, the day we left they
were moving furniture around us and rolling up
carpets and everything getting ready for one.
The staff was really good, very nice. They were
especially helpful with the room fiasco. I booked
a king, got a double. It wasn’t the front desk’s
problem, and they handled it as best they could,
but we ended up having to take the red-headed
step-child of rooms. It was in the basement, beside a loud a/c. It even came with a gypsy standing outside telling us to go no further. Not really.
It wasn’t really a bad room. It was huge, lots of
room. It was beautiful actually, just loud. But we
got a discount and free breakfast for our trouble,
so I can’t actually complain. Just make sure you
confirm your reservation if you go. With all the
weddings they book, they get overbooked easily.
I wanted to play around and run up and down the
fancy hotel floors, especially that gorgeous staircase, but we had a concert to attend. Okay, maybe
I ran down the gorgeous staircase. Twice.
Located at 1001 Broadway in downtown Nashville, it’s easily walking distance from the Ryman
and most of the tourist district. So be prepared for
the onslaught of cowboy hats and boots, the sure
sign that you’re surrounded by tourists who have
no idea how people actually dress in Nashville.
Oh, side note, if you desperately need to get away
from tourists, The Wheel Cigar Bar on Broadway
is a great oasis. Also, they have local beer and local cigars. It’s not easy to find. It’s upstairs above
a bar. But worth the hunt.
After the show and some time at The Wheel, we
enjoyed drinks at the hotel bar. Chips and blue
cheese fondue and fancy martinis for the win.
The next day we had breakfast at the restaurant.
Never in my life have I ever said “You know what
I need? A peanut butter and jelly crepe.” After
this trip I keep asking myself “Why have I never
thought of this?!” I had a delicious PB&J crepe.
I still miss it sometimes. Pretty sure my Traveling Companion ordered all the bacon and eggs
they had. It was a gigantic plate full of breakfast
food.
The Union Station Hotel was enjoyable. I do love
being Miss Fancy Pants. Rooms run around $300
after taxes, so it’s more of a special occasion type
hotel unless your pockets are overflowing with
gold. If it ‘s the latter for you, I’d like to pitch an
idea to you. As an adventure writer, I’d be perfectly willing to pre-vacation for you. You know,
you pay my way, I check out an area, take lots of
pictures, give you a write-up, and let you know
if it’s worth your time. Hey, rich person, you’re
busy and your time is valuable. Let me help you.
Tina can also be found blogging more adventures
at TinaLeach.com or posting random pics on Valley Planet’s Instagram
2
#082715091615
ll right I’ll admit it - I like to drink beer (and wine and other stuff) so in keeping with that theme
this issue’s review will be of one of my favorite drinking establishments, the Stem and Stein
in Madison. Located off of the southern portion of County Line Road in a non-descript strip
mall is this beer and wine mecca. And did I mention they also boast an excellent, “lighter-fare” type of
menu. The restaurant is actually three places in one. Stem and Stein sells both beer (over 300 choices)
and wine (over 800) to take home or drink there for a ten-dollar corkage fee. They also offer over two
dozen wines by the glass, evenly split between whites and reds, and close to 20 beers on draft. All of
which makes for a good night of drinking and trying something new. The S&S also just started selling
tasters of six drafts for ten-dollars as well.
As far as the food is concerned, the Stem and Stein primarily focuses on appetizers with large salads,
Panini’s, and pizzas served as the main course. My favorite appetizer is their Parmesan crusted asparagus; although the night I was there it did turn out a little dry and overcooked. We also enjoyed their
cheese board as a warm up and this was much better with a great assortment of flavorful cheese, fruit
and crackers.
Our main courses were equally delightful as I tried the Big Ben for the first time. This quarter pound
hot dog was topped with bacon, tomatoes, onions and cheese and I had their spicy cheese sauce and
sour cream on the side. My healthier counterpart had the Greek Salad with chicken on a bed of spinach.
The dressing was light and not overpowering and the salad overall delicious, and probably healthier for
you, too. That said, I needed beer for my dog so I ordered a sampler only to discover that two of my
choice IPAs were drained dry. I did experiment with some Terrapin Peanut Butter and Jelly Porter as
well as another Terrapin product - a Blackberry Cobbler IPA. The winner that night was a local, Salty
Nut Imperial Moustache Red, a good drinking beer with plenty of flavor.
Despite the minor glitches the Stem and Stein
came through again. They
have live entertainment
three nights a week and
also wine tastings every
Thursday not to mention
a nice backyard patio.
The place only keeps getting better and better, so
enjoy the variety, the music and the food at Stem
and Stein.
A Seed from the Big Apple
by Cameron Reeder
D
o you miss the old days when every neighborhood mom and pop grocery had a butcher? Do you
miss the days when locally owned eateries were the norm and not the exception? And would
you ever think that a New York style deli would thrive in small town Decatur, Alabama? 
Sure, there are many delicatessens. And plenty of sub sandwich restaurants. But this one stands alone.
The Corner Deli Plus presides at the intersection of Danville and Carridale Roads in Decatur. Although
the name is simple, the experience is extraordinary. And a plain name with great fare is better than going to “Awesome Joe’s Deli” and getting a so-so sandwich. And this sandwich maker puts his money
where your mouth is.
Originally from New York, owner and chef Dhafer Yahya came to Decatur after a brief stint in Nashville. His Corner Deli has been in operation for only about a year and a half, but he has been making
his special brand of delicious for almost 25 years. Boar’s Head meats make for a flavorful sandwich
when combined with local Amish breads. And Dhafer’s sandwiches are comparably priced with the
competition while packing twice the taste. Trust me, if my stomach would hold three, that is what I
would order!
Dhafer  works seven days a week, he says,  because he knows that is what it takes to get a business
started. You rarely see a work ethic like that these days. It is about as rare as the feeling you get when
you walk in and place your order. A friendly greeting and a big, genuine smile are offered at no additional charge. No happy meals. No clowns. No tables or chairs. You just wait for your order while you
are treated to those mouthwatering smells wafting across the room.
Bon appetit. 
VOLUME 13 ISSUE 12
THE VALLEY PLANET
In
The
Planet
august 27 - september 16, 2015
NEXT ISSUE: SEPTEMBER 17, 2015
203 Grove Ave., Huntsville Al, 35801, phone 256.533-4613
Publisher
Jill E. Wood
Calendar
Joani Williams
Graphic Design
Douglas A. Lange
Contributors
Bonnie Roberts
Elaine Nelson
Ricky Thomason
Jim Zielinski
Tim Owen
John Davis
Tom Colbey, Jr.
Jennifer Roberts
Matthew Kresal
Mike Ragoza
Jackie Anderson
Cameron Reeder
“You can’t go wiretapping Jesus and still expect
to get into heaven.” ~ Brandon Whaley
THE VALLEY PLANET
VOLUME 13 ISSUE 12
#082715091615
Table of Contents
2
Adventures in the Tennessee Valley:
Fancy and Tacky in Nashville, Tina Leach
2
Stem and Stein, Mike Ragoza
2
A Seed From the Big Apple, Cameron Reeder
3
Letter From The Publisher
3
On the Cover
5
Zee’s Rocket City bEAT, Jim Zielinski
5
Auntie Jen’s Animal Crazy
6
News of the Weird, Chuck Shepherd
7
Con Corner: Steampunk & the Beautiful Machinery, Tom Colbey, Jr.
7
Con Corner: G.S. Jennsen’s “Aurora Rising”, Tom Colbey, Jr.
7
Sci-Fi Review, Seveneves, Matthew Kresal
8
Music Calendar Begins
9
Music Calendar Continues
10
Music Calendar Ends
10
Events Calendar Begins
10
Regional Concert Calendar
11
Events Calendar Continues
12
Events Calendar Ends
12
Free Will Astrology, Rob Brezsny
13
What Then Must We Do?, Bonnie Roberts
13
Dr. Anarcho’s Rx for Old Stuff That Don’t Suck:
“Time Circle” by Spirit.
14
Music Exchange
14
To Yuno From Yunohoo
14
Unchained Maladies, Ricky Thomason
14
The Jazz Lounge, Jackie Anderson
15
Who am I? What is my Password?, John Davis
15
**POP** Go the Taste Buds! Suzy’s, Jim Zieliński
15
Chef Kelly & My List of Nation-States Challenge, Tom Colbey, Jr.
Letter from the
Publisher
W
e are really excited about our new website! With the focus on local events,
local artists, local writers, local musicians and local businesses and fun… the Valley
Planet and valleyplanet.com is where you need to
go to keep up with what is going on in Huntsville
Metro!
With a website as big as valleyplanet.com, there
are bound to be some hiccups – but, help us know
what those are so we can fix them as soon as possible. Tell us what you like and don’t like and if
there are things you would like to see but don’t!
(email [email protected])
Our calendars are much easier to search, our archives house pdfs of the VP from 2003 to now,
our blogs, photo gallery etc. are much easier to
use (which means we will take full advantage of
this!). You can comment on articles and blogs and
sign up for emails or reminders from us. If you
have photos etc. that you would like to submit,
please do so! If you are a writer and want to contribute send it to [email protected].
There are tons of fun events going on in and
around Huntsville metro so get out your highlighter and plan your next three weeks!
Jill E. Wood, Support Local!
On the Cover:
Jodi Nuttall
J
#082715091615
150K+
100K-150K
75K-100K
50K-75K
<15K
15K25K
3.3%
75+
65-74
50-54
5.5%
Ethnicity
Profile (Cume)
6.3%
%
13.7
ADVANCED DEGREE
COLLEGE DEGREE
SOME COLLEGE
H.S. GRADUATE
BLACK
48.2%
51.8%
13
.6%
WHITE
84.3%
MALE
H.S. OR LESS
OTHER
2.2%
Audience Profile (Cume)
Total Income: $3,834,166,750
Mean Income: $76,009
Mean Age: 48
Home Owners: 91%
Mean Home Value: $196,832
Mean Miles Past Week: 234
256-533-4613 Valley Planet
THE VALLEY PLANET
8.5%
Gender Profile (Cume)
46.3%
Reproduction or use without our permission is strictly prohibited. The views and opinions expressed within
these pages and on the website are not necessarily those of the Valley Planet or its staff. The Valley Planet is
not responsible for unsolicited manuscripts or art. Back issues are available for viewing on our website www.
valleyplanet.com in the archives section. You may reach the Valley Planet office @ 256.533.4613 or by mail
at Valley Planet 203 Grove Ave. Huntsville, AL 35801. Contact by email: [email protected].
Early Deadline for Sept. 17 issue is Sept. 4, 2015.
7.3%
FEMALE
11.7%
45-49
35-44
25-34
22%
5.8%
14.1%
13.4%
11.7%
35K-50K
13%
17.4%
25K-35K
18.7%
Education
Profile (Cume)
Thank you for reading the fine print of the Valley Planet. The Valley Planet and valleyplanet.com are published every three weeks by J W Publications in Huntsville, AL. You can pick up the paper free all over the
place or get it free on the web. Copyright 2003 by the Valley Planet, Inc. All rights reserved.
Annual Income (Cume)
24.3%
5.9%
www.jodinuttall.com
Instagram: @jodipaints
Email: [email protected]
Phone: 256 479 5113
Bases: Adults Age 18+
Media Persons: 50,444
26.1%
25.1%
55-64
Come and see Jodi’s work at Lowe
Mill Wednesdays through Saturdays
(you’ll get to see David’s hand-drawn,
plausible fictitious maps too). You can
also find them at the Monte Sano Art
Festival again this year on September
19th from 9 – 5.
Report: Media Quick Profile
Base Population: 784,215
Age Analysis (Cume)
odi Nuttall, a full-time Huntsville artist, shares Studio 308 with her husband, David, at Lowe Mill.
Her current focus is on landscapes and still lifes in soft pastel. Her reference photos are gathered
from travels around the U.S. and Europe, with pictures often taken from a car (because it’s hard
to pull over into a hedgerow in England). She started out as an oil painter, but she mainly paints
with soft pastels as a result of taking
a pastel workshop in 2005. Her pastel
work is mostly representational with a
few abstracts thrown in so she can use
some of the bright colors that aren’t in
her landscapes. These also give her a
chance to be loose with her painting
style which borders on photorealistic.
Based on The Media Audit: Huntsville Apr-Jun 2013
VOLUME 13 ISSUE 12
3
Olympic Champion
Meet
Picabo Street
Guest Speaker
at Huntsville
Ski Club
Picabo will be
the guest speaker
at the Huntsville
Ski Club’s September
meeting. There will
be time to take your
picture with Picabo
and to meet and greet
her during the social
from 7 - 7:30, then
enjoy her presentation
during the meeting
starting at 7:30.
Public is Invited.
Winner of numerous ski medals now an Alabama Resident!
When:
September 16, 2015
7:00 - 8:30 pm
Where:
Huntsville Ski Club Meeting
Huntsville Area Board of Realtors Building
525 Monroe St., Huntsville 35801
Contact:
Gene Hartsfield
256-497-0474
[email protected]
Huntsvilleskiclub.org
Rediscover the Sheer
Joy of Learning!
Join a Vibrant Learning Community For Adults 50+
Meet new people and stay intellectually and socially active, while
having lots of fun! OLLI at UAH is designed for your lifestyle and
interests, with no grades or tests! Our courses are designed to entertain
you, enable your creativity, challenge you, and best of all, to make your
fall enjoyable and fun! Choose from over 50 courses per term.
NEW THIS FALL – OLLI After Five
Come enjoy OLLI programs at a time of the day that works for you.
Courses are on Tuesdays from 5:15 to 6:45 pm and include:
• TheHiggsBoson–andWhy$13BillionwasSpentFindingIt
• TheMusicoftheBeatles:Exploringthe“White Album”
• TheWorldofWine
Annual OLLI Membership – Only $16.
Term Course Fee – $85 Covers Up to
Six Courses.
Falltermstarts:September14
REGISTER TODAY! View the course
guide at Osher.uah.edu/Catalog
or call 256.824.6183 for
information.
THE UNIVERSITY OF ALABAMA IN HUNTSVILLE
4
#082715091615
VOLUME 13 ISSUE 12
THE VALLEY PLANET
PUB/DATE
SIZE: 5.104
COST: $22
Zee’s Rocket
City bEAT
by Jim Zielinski
U
nderway - Jesus Christ Superstar Dinner/Show Event – a partnership between
Independent Musical Productions [www.
imphuntsville.org; (256) 415-7469 (SHOW)],
The Bottle [101 Washington Street, NE; (256)
704-5555; www.thebottledowntown.com], and
Humphrey’s Bar and Grill Downtown [103 Washington Street, NE; (256) 704-5555; www.humphreysdowntown.com], valid ONLY for the two
7:30 Friday and Saturday evening performances:
11 – 12 or 18 – 19 September.
Trolleys to Lee High School board at 7:00 p.m.,
with a scheduled 10:00 p.m. return. The Bottle
is recommended for earlier dinners (~5:00 p.m.)
or Humphrey’s for 6:00 p.m.; playgoers showing
prepaid tickets receive a 10% discount.
I stand side by side with the hordes, aghast that
David Gibson’s Barbecue [Jordan Lane at Bob
Wallace Avenue] has shut its doors. Egad!
To rub salt in an open wound, it (like Bailey
Cove’s ex-Star Market) will apparently help facilitate yet another WalBarf outpost. The ultimate
goal: two WalBarfs per capita - that way, even if
you get up on the wrong side of the bed, you’ll be
at an entrance.
HOT NEWS: Clementine’s has reopened their
outpost at 600 O’Shaughnessy Avenue, NE! Call
(256) 512-0697 or visit www.clementinesusa.com
for updates, including new menu items.
Art thou fond of jerk, curried, and stewed delicacies? Interested in experiencing Caribbean culture
via said foodstuffs, reggae/salsa bands, a karaoke
contest, and other family entertainment?
Then, with all due haste, visit the 10th Annual Caribbean Day at the Park [Stoner Field Park; 3715
Bragg Street, NW; (256) 653-4751/429-8145;
www.CANAonline.com ], noon – 6:00 p.m., Sunday, 6 September. Bragg Street runs twixt Mastin
Lake Road, NE and Stringfield Road, NW.
Sponsored by the Caribbean Association of North
Alabama, Inc., CD@tP has no entry charge. Caribbean board games, face painting, musical
chairs, arts and crafts, and more will delight kids
and kids at heart. Bring your lawn chairs, appetite, smile, and curiosity!
Still xenophilic? Well, from 9:30 a.m. – 5:00 p.m.,
Saturday, 26 September, the “Open Air Market” at
the Sixth Annual International Festival of North
Alabama [University Fitness Center, 500 John
Wright Drive, NW @ Holmes; (256) 824-6432;
http://internationalsocietyofhuntsville.org] will
feature area international grocers!
Madison City Farmers Market @ Trinity Baptist
Church [1088 Hughes Road; (256) 656-7841;
www.madisoncityfarmersmarket.com;info@
madisoncityfarmersmarket.com] - Live Music,
Saturdays. 8:00 a.m. - Stillwater Bluegrass
(29 August).
Alert: Locust Grove Farmers Market @ Locust
Grove Baptist Church [171 County Lake Road,
New Market; (256) 379-2813]; Thursdays, 4:00
– 7:00 p.m., through 17 September. Local, Producer-Only Event.
Delectable Daytrips:
The Annual Inter’NASH’ional Food Crawl
[(615) 883-0384; [email protected]],
Noon – 3:00 p.m., Saturday, 5 September, allows participants to explore
a 2-mile span of Nashville’s
Nolensville Road, sampling
global cuisine. Worth a drive!
$10 gets you a ticket and map
to participating restaurants.
Thursday, 17 September, the
very day our next issue hits the
stands, Birmingham hosts the
34th Annual Middle Eastern
Food Festival at St. George
the Great Martyr (Melkite
Rite) Catholic [425 16th Avenue South; (205) 492-9621;
http://saintgeorgeonline.org ].
It continues through Saturday,
from 10:30 a.m. – ~9:00 p.m.
Homemade delights include
Kibbeh, Dolma (rolled grape
leaves), Mediterranean-style
Chicken, Fatayer (Spinach
Pies), Falafel, and Hummos.
Desserts, you ask?...: Maamoul, Baklawa, Kaak, Hareeseh (Semolina Cake), Burma, Zalabieh (“Doughnuts,”
but not quite…and they sell
out, but QUICK!).
wo households, both alike in that they have
pets, in the Tennessee Valley, where we lay
our scene, the ancient dog vs. cat grudge
could break to new mutiny, where domestic blood
could make domestic paws unclean. . . But when I
offered Hannah the Dog and Auburn the Cat their
Valley Planet debut, sworn enemies agreed to civilly collaborate on this book and movie review.
Auburn: “I concur. Quite kinky indeed. You
watched the movie immediately after you took
your paws off the book. Paws up? Paws down?”
Hannah: “Two paws up for the book. I don’t want
to spoil with specifics, but I will bark that I like
how it closed with Basic Instinct ambiguity.”
For you old-timers, Holiday Foods sat on the site
of the erstwhile A&P Supermarket. For you waytoo-old-timers, the A&P marked the spot where
Ponce de León forsook his fountain of youth
quest and opened up a Dipper Dan. For you antediluvian relics, this is the
ephemeral junior high pool
where our young Planaria
were taught to rethink their
eyespots by Prof. AmoebaJoe Volvox, MD (Mesozoic
Dude).
Hannah: “Species and Mars-Venus differences aside, I think we can agree on this. Dirty,
yes. Emotionally claustrophobic. And kinky.”
Hannah: “Honestly, I was so taken with the
book that I couldn’t determine if it was a good,
bad, or mediocre movie. Paw-sibly mediocre.”
Auburn: “I thought it was quite good. David
Fincher’s one of my favorite directors. Trent
Reznor did the music, so it had that Se7en-ish
quality. Rosamund Pike fit the mental picture I
had of “Amazing Amy.” And how could you not
like a Ben Affleck movie? I mean, he co- wrote
Good Will Hunting. . . Good Will Hunting! And
don’t forget Ben’s a friend to animals too.”
Hannah: “Oh, Affleck was a perfect Nick, as if
it were written with him in mind. But the movie
was too condensed for my taste. It was already
two and a half hours long. They should’ve extended it to three and stayed more true to the
book. Too many secondary characters were
either watered down or butchered - although
Nick’s relationship with his twin sister was
spot on. Too many internal monologues, diary entries, and crucial scenes were nixed.”
THE VALLEY PLANET
Guess what? While I was doggedly cataloguing global grocers, Shinsegae [(256) 539-3250]
moved! Well, just down the sidewalk. They’ve
taken up residence in the former Holiday Foods
- Suite A, 2701 Patton Road, SW @ Bob Wallace
Avenue, SW; the new name, Holiday Food Asian
Market. Incidentally, the aforementioned WalBarf
will merely be a stone’s throw away. PLEASE
PROVE IT.
Humphrey’s, IMP, and The Bottle
– Dinner/Show Event!
Auburn: “Left me feeling more like Presumed Innocent. Trapped and dirty. . . like an old litter box.”
Auntie Jen: “Hannah. Auburn. New York Times
bestseller Gone Girl by Gillian Flynn vs. Flynn’s
own screen adaptation by the same name. Discuss.”
The cost is $6 each, with Children 5 and Under
admitted FREE. Tickets can also be purchased at
the door. Call FP at (256) 539-6829.
Under one owner or another,
Shinsegae has long been
ensconced in its previous
haunts. REMEMBER, they
carry several U.S. and Mexican grocery items in addition
to Korean, Japanese, Filipino, and the like. The Shins
maintain a one-stop shopping
op for their clientele: Chips,
Isinglass, Coffee, Tamarind
Candy, Mountain Dew, Mochi, Breakfast Cereals, Pepitas, Frozen Bulgogi…you get
the drill. Sunday dinner will
be a snap as you host eight
or nine of your closest, most
personal nations.
Auntie Jen’s
Animal Crazy
T
Fantasy Playhouse Children’s Theatres [www.
letthemagicbegin.org ] Annual “Applebee’s Pancake Breakfast,” a family-friendly event benefiting arts education, runs 7:00 – 9:30 a.m., Saturday, 12 September at Applebee’s - South Parkway
[Store #003, 3028 Memorial Parkway, SW].
#082715091615
Auburn: “Fair enough. I like both versions,
but the movie did lack suspense - probably because I too read the novel first. Actually, I found
the book so intense that I had Auntie Jen read
it to me while she gave me a good brushin’.”
Hannah: “I didn’t know what I was getting myself
into. Auntie Jen came over and asked the same
question she always asks: ‘Wanna hear some
book?’ I preferred to put my wet nose in this one
and read it myself. I’m glad Aunt Jen introduced
me to this paw-some book. This girl’s gone over
Gone Girl!”
Auntie Jen: “Well it looks like we’re out of word
count. Hannah, Auburn - thanks for your time and
keen insight. And thanks to all of you out there
who’ve joined us today. I hope you will consider reading to your pet. It’s a great way to bond
and enjoy time together. Find me on Facebook at
www.facebook.com/AuntieJenValleyPlanet.”
VOLUME 13 ISSUE 12
5
served at the concert, the promoters should have
known to take extra safety precautions for banister-riders.
Who gets badly hurt playing musical chairs? Robin Earnest, 46, told an Arkansas
claims hearing that she broke two fingers and
was forced into “years” of surgery and physical
therapy over a game that was part of a class at the
College of the Ouachitas in 2011 and demanded
at least $75,000 from the state. The July hearing
was dominated by a discussion of the proper way
to play musical chairs because the instructor had
ordered three students to contest one chair -- with
Earnest asserting that everyone knows it would be
two chairs for three people.
by Chuck Shepherd
Cecil Speaks
The distress across the Western world in
July over the big-game killing of Cecil the lion in
Zimbabwe was apparently misdirected, according
to veteran “animal communicator” Karen Anderson of Elk, Washington, who told Facebook and
Internet visitors (www.AnimalCommunicating.
com) that Cecil and she had discussed his demise
and that he was over it. Also, Cecil apparently
speaks in formal, graceful English, as Anderson
quoted him (according to London’s The Independent): “Let not the actions of these few men defeat
us,” said Cecil, “or allow darkness to enter our
hearts.” “I am,” he added, “grander than before as
no one can take our purity, our truth or our soul.”
(Anderson’s usual fee to speak with deceased pets
is $75 for 15 minutes, but she did not disclose
whether she had a client for Cecil’s tab.)
Chutzpah!
In May, three Santa Ana, California,
police officers who had just raided the unlicensed
Sky High Holistic medical marijuana dispensary
were caught on the facility’s surveillance video
eating supposedly seized cannabis-infused chocolate bars, and an “internal affairs” investigation
was opened. However, in August, the Orange
County Register reported that the cops went to
court to have the video suppressed. Their familiar
legal argument is that the video violates their right
to privacy -- in that they had purposely disabled
the cameras before they began munching the contraband and thus had the requisite “expectation of
privacy” that triggers the right. (Possibly, they had
missed a camera.)
The mother of three children in Grandview, Missouri, suspected that Dameion McBride,
22, had sexually molested her two daughters (ages
4 and 8) and son (age 3), but McBride indignantly
denied it, claiming that he is a child-abuse survivor himself, and booked himself on the national
“Steve Wilkos” TV show in May to take a lie detector test to clear his name. However, he failed
the test as to each child and was subsequently
arrested. (The Associated Press reported that McBride insisted on a police lie detector test -- and
failed that, too.)
The Continuing Crisis
On Aug. 1, one of the world’s weirdest
border disputes came to an end, as India and Bangladesh exchanged more than 160 “enclaves” -sovereign territory completely surrounded by the
other country’s sovereign territory (in principle,
making travel out of the enclaves impossible unless the enclave had an embassy or another office
that issues visas). In fact, there was one Indian
enclave (Dahala Khagrabari) completely within a
Bangladeshi enclave that is completely inside an
Indian enclave inside Bangladesh.
The Litigious Society
The estate of Dr. Rajan Verma filed a
lawsuit in July against the Tralf Music Hall in Buffalo, New York, after Dr. Verma fell to his death
following a concert when he lost his balance sliding down the banister. The estate claims that there
must have been a sticky substance on the railing.
The estate’s lawyers said that since alcohol was
6
News That Sounds Like a Joke
“Green-fingered residents” can show off
their hard work each year at the Quedgeley Show
in Gloucestershire, England, entering arrangements of colorful, plump garden-grown vegetables. However, attendance has been off in recent
years, reported the Western Daily Press, leaving
the show’s future in doubt -- until organizers announced that this year, to increase the number of
entries, supermarket-bought vegetables could be
submitted.
“Number Two, Turn to the Right and
Growl”: Magistrates in Ceredigion, Wales, fined
Edward Davies the equivalent of about $1,130 in
June, finding that it was his dog that bit a teenage
girl last October, sending her to a hospital with
swelling and bruising. Aberystwyth authorities
had set up a formal police lineup of dogs from the
neighborhood, and the girl had made a positive ID
of Davies’ dog as the perp.
Least Competent Criminals
Judge Roger Barto, of Waterloo (New
York) Village Court, was convicted in August of
staging a fake assault on himself to convince doctors to prescribe him pain medication. Officers
arriving at the scene found Barto lying on the
ground with a shattered porcelain toilet tank lid
nearby from (he said) being smacked on the head
by a mugger. However, doctors found an apparent
flaw in Barto’s ruse: He had forgotten to actually
hurt himself during the “attack” -- as medical personnel had found no mark, cut or bruise anywhere
on him.
Recurring Themes
Once again during a police raid of a
suspected drug house (this time, in Wood River,
Illinois, in July), with cops swarming the home
and yard, confiscating evidence and arresting occupants, officers had to stop briefly from time
to time to answer the front door (10 times during a 90-minute period) -- as the dealer’s regular
(oblivious) customers continually arrived to buy
more heroin.
In the face of a declining military budget, the Defense Ministry of the Netherlands issued confidential instructions to commanders in
July that during training exercises, to preserve
dwindling ammunition, soldiers should simply shout “Bang, Bang!” instead of firing their
weapons. Said a soldiers’ advocate, “Even if you
have no bullets, you (still) have to train with your
weapon.”
Thinning the Herd: (1) When two men
who had been drinking in the apartment of Brandon Thomas, 30, in Conyers, Georgia, on July 23
wanted to leave, Mr. Thomas objected. “If y’all
are going to drink my alcohol, y’all are going
to play my game,” he said, announcing that his
“game” was Russian roulette. Minutes later, after spinning the revolver’s cylinder, Mr. Thomas
lost the game. (2) Three days later in rural Bell
County, Kentucky, John Brock, 60, asked the
Lord once again to certify his righteousness by
allowing him to safely handle a rattlesnake during
services at Mossy Simpson Pentecostal Church.
However exemplary Mr. Brock’s faith had been
previously, on that day, apparently, it was found
wanting, and he is no longer with us.
The Aristocrats!
(1) Wallace Berg, 81, was charged with
public indecency in Stratford, Connecticut, in
July after a neighbor showed police a video he
had made of Berg, naked and (according to an Associated Press report) “performing a sex act with
some shrubbery.” (2) “Where the sun don’t shine”
is now a standard hiding place for contraband, including for Matthew Smith, 36, arrested in Green-
#082715091615
dale, Indiana, in July. After he drew attention with
a long restroom session at a Shell station, police
confronted him about the white powder on his
nose, and Smith sheepishly handed over the minutes-ago-removed pills and cocaine -- but he had
also extracted, inexplicably, a fishing bobber, a
screwdriver and an “open tire plug kit.”
Pets of the 1 Percent
“The worshipful treatment of pets may
be the thing that unites all Americans,” wrote an
Atlantic Magazine blogger in July, describing the
luxury terminal for animals under construction
at New York’s JFK airport. The ARK will offer shower stalls for traveling horses, “conjugal
stations” for ever-horny penguins, and housing
for nearly 200 cows (that might produce 5,000
pounds of manure every day) -- and passengers
traveling with dogs or cats can book the Paradise
4 Paws pet-pampering resort. The ARK is a forprofit venture; said one industry source, quoted
in a July Crain’s New York Business report,
“You hear stories about the crazy money that rich
people spend on their (animals) ... they’re mostly
true.”
Government in Action
Officially, now, it is “unreasonable” for
a federal agency (the Bureau of Land Management, in this instance) to fail to say yes or no for
29 years to a drilling permit application. (Before
July’s federal court decision, BLM had been arguing that 29 years was not too long.) A company
had requested to drill just one exploratory well in
Montana for natural gas in 1985, but the bureau
had delayed the proceeding six times since then.
The judge ordered the bureau to set a deadline for
deciding.
Georgia, one of six states that make taxpayers shell out huge fees to access its databases
of public records, tries so relentlessly to control
its archive that, recently, in a federal lawsuit, it
said opposition to its policy was basically “terrorism.” Activists (Public.Resource.org) have
been establishing workarounds to free up some
databases for citizen use, and Georgia demands
that they stop. Georgia even claims “copyright”
protection for one category of important legal
documents that were initially drafted by state
bureaucrats, audaciously calling them “original”
and “creative” works.
Mandatory Inaction: In July, the mayor
of the town of Ador, Spain (pop. 1,400), officially
enacted into law what had merely been custom -a required afternoon siesta from 2 to 5 p.m. Businesses were ordered to close, and children were to
remain indoors (and quiet).
Police Report
At a traffic stop in Rockingham, Vermont, on July 26, both driver and passenger were
charged with DUI. Erik Polite, 35, was the driver
(clocked at 106 mph on Interstate 91 and, according to police, with drugs in the car), and while
he was being screened for intoxication, passenger
Leeshawn Baker, 34, jumped behind the wheel
and peeled off in reverse across the highway,
nearly hitting the trooper, who arrested him.
Nathaniel Harrison, 38, was arrested in
July in a Phoenix suburb on several charges, including possession of a deadly weapon during a
felony, but he escaped an even more serious charge
when a second “deadly weapon” failed to engage.
Harrison reportedly intended to retaliate against
a “snitch” and arrived at the man’s home carrying a rattlesnake, which he supposedly pointed at
the man, hoping it would bite him. However, the
snake balked, and Harrison’s attempted payback
failed.
Lame Defenses in Lake County, Florida: (1) Daniel Baker, 40, and Robert Richardson,
19, were arrested in Altoona, Florida, in August
after getting caught loading appliances from a vacant house. According to the arrest report, both
men appeared incredulous to learn that items in a
vacant house aren’t just “free.” (2) Six days earlier about 20 miles away in Tavares, Florida, Corey
Ramsey, 23, was arrested for burglary when a police officer caught him sitting on a toilet in a vacant, for-sale house attending to a need. Ramsey’s
extensive petty-crime rap sheet belied his explanation for being there -- that he was contemplating buying the $299,000 house and wanted to try
it out first.
VOLUME 13 ISSUE 12
Still More “Intelligent Design”?
Zoologists at the University of Basel in
Switzerland, publishing recently in a prestigious
British journal, reported the likelihood that a certain flatworm species has overcome the frustration of not finding a mating partner in its lifetime.
The scientists believe the flatworm exploits its
hermaphroditic qualities and injects its sperm into
its own head, from which the sperm sometimes
migrates to its reproductive facilities. (Flatworm
researchers are aided on their projects by the species’ transparent bodies, facilitating the tracking
of the sperm.)
Protest!
About 200 protesters gathered in front
of Hong Kong police headquarters on August 2
to denounce the 3 1/2-month jail sentence given
to Ms. Ng Lai-ying, 30, who was convicted of assault for shoving a police officer with her chest.
Women (and some men) wearing bras as outerwear chanted, “Breast is not a weapon.” (Ng was
originally protesting the hardly sexy issue of
import-export abuses between Hong Kong and
mainland China cities.)
The Joy of Protest: An August 1 demonstration outside Britain’s Parliament protesting
legislation to curb until-now-legal psychoactive
drugs drew about 100 people -- consuming their
drug of choice, nitrous oxide. As organizers distributed gas-filled balloons for demonstrators to
take hits from, “the group erupted in fits of laughter,” according to The Guardian.
Perspective
Construction on a $1.7 million therapeutic equestrian facility in St. Cloud, Florida,
expressly for use by wounded U.S. service members, was delayed in August when a bald eagle
nest was discovered on the grounds. Federal law
requires at least 330 feet of clearance for the nest,
plus additional monitoring to assure the birds’
tranquility. Said one neighbor, “The very animal
that symbolizes freedom is delaying therapy for
those who fought for it.”
Funny Old World
The Welsh language is such a severe
mutation of the original English spoken in the
Middle Ages that, to the inexperienced eye, it is
barely distinguishable from, say, Klingon. In fact,
in July, the Welsh government, responding to queries about a possible UFO sighting near Cardiff
airport, playfully issued its galaxy-friendly response in Klingon -- “jang vlDa je due luq,” meaning that further information will be provided. (In
Welsh, for example, “I cannot understand Welsh”
is “nad oes modd i ddeall Cymraeg.”) (Recently,
in Swansea, Wales, alleged drug dealer Dwaine
Campbell, 25, adamantly refused to leave his
cell for a court hearing because he feared being
judged in Welsh -- until authorities promised to
transfer the case to Campbell’s native England.)
Update
Despite repeated assurances by Olympic officials, it appears more certain than ever
that 2016 boating and surfing events in Brazil’s
Guanabara Bay and Rodrigo de Freitas Lake will
be conducted in water so polluted with human
sewage that every athlete will almost certainly be
struck with fever, vomiting and diarrhea. An August Associated Press report revealed the waters’
virus levels (of fecal coliform and other viruses)
are as high as 2 million times the level that would
close down a California beach. (Olympic and local officials continue to insist that the water will
be safe by next summer, but, as the AP pointed
out, their protocols test only for bacteria and not
viruses. One U.S. water-quality expert advised all
athletes to move to Rio ahead of the games -- to
try to build up an immunity.)
“Doc, It Hurts When I Do That” (“Then Don’t Do
That”)
Ran’dell Busch, 27, was in serious condition after being shot on July 26 near the corner of 18th Street and Emmet Street in Omaha,
Nebraska. He was also shot in 2014 around the
intersection of 18th and Emmet, and in 2012 was
shot in a scuffle after running from the corner of
18th and Emmet.
Send your weird news to
WeirdNews at
earthlink dot net,
and P.O. Box 18737, Tampa, FL 33679.
Copyright,
Chuck Shepherd
THE VALLEY PLANET
Con Corner:
Steampunk &
the Beautiful
Machinery
by Tom Colbey, Jr.
I
want to live in Jules Verne’s refrigerator.
Imagine what H.G. Wells’ BBQ grill would
look like. I want a cell phone the size of my
Nissan. Give me classical mechanics in an era
when technology had gears for utility. When technology had levers for function. When technology
was beautiful for no reason, save desire. I want to
live in a Steampunk universe!
Super-small technology is the demand now!
Shrink & Digitize! Make it invisible. Language
lost when crushed into acronyms and acronyms of
acronyms; meaning lost in tiny keyboards making
insignificant words. My instincts: Stop It! Crush
It! Throw a wrench in it! My Luddite instincts
receded, though, in the wake of Steampunk. I
met Michelle, the president of the Florence Steampunk Society, at the Magic City Con in Birmingham, AL, July 25. Steampunkers are fine
with technological advances; they embrace tech.
The Florence Steampunk Society are not Luddites looking to throw revolutionary wrenches in
the machinery; they just want the machines to be
beautiful. I need Steampunk.
I had a radioactive half-life pursuing the sale of
modeling and simulation software in support of
product development at manufacturing companies. I sold tools partially responsible for the
elimination of beautiful products in the name
of efficiency and cost control. I’m partially responsible
for the elimination of Jules
Verne’s refrigerator. I dismantled the H.G. Wells’ BBQ
grill. No cell phone the size of
my Nissan will ever be made.
I need Steampunk.
nal inches of Gorilla Glass! In the 21st Century,
maybe the demand for beauty is the biggest
wrench of them all. Give me Steampunk!
Steampunk is the force blowback response of too
much efficiency and cost control, and not enough
human; an acknowledgment that something of
mankind is being stripped away in tandem with
the average metal content of our phones and car
side panels. The lightening of our tech, the lightening of our souls. Give me Steampunk!
Digital microscopic-ness needs a touch of analog
bigness: Give me massive gears! Crater-sized levers! Give me machines the size of moons built
by humans with planet-sized souls! Listening to
Michelle, I yearned; my spirit the spew-pumping
cavitation crush from the artistic energy of Attractive holing through a clamped valve within
the machinery of Dreadful. To Michelle, if this
world’s buildings and technologies aren’t worthy
of a nice, long wonder-stare, her mind will be.
She is Steampunk.
Human advancement is good when it’s beautiful;
it’s good when it’s human.
Sci-Fi Review: Seveneves
by Matthew Kresal
Too much efficiency. Too
much cost control. Smaller,
lighter, sleeker, cheaper,
equals cut-rate humanity
wrapped in a plastic spork of
a cell phone TV screen not
big enough to see the humans
filling the space of six diago-
What would happen if the world was ending?
T
hat question, on the inside of the dust jacket, lies
at the heart of Neal Stephenson’s latest novel
Seveneves. Stephenson takes a familiar premise
of apocalypse coming from the sky and combines it
with a firm grounding in modern and near future space
technologies. The result is a finely crafted, densely layered
and epic vision crammed into 867 pages.
Con Corner:
G.S. Jennsen’s “Aurora Rising”
by Tom Colbey, Jr.
G
.S. had sat up all night
(two weeks after selfpublishing the first book
in her “Aurora Rising” series).
Chris, her husband, woke to find
her saying, “Chris, we sold 38
copies last night.” Then it was
54, then 70, then 108. I ran into
Chris and G.S. at the Magic City
Con in Birmingham, July 25, and
got to know some of the story behind their stories.
One person in Germany became
a fan, and created a fan-cluster. Independent clustering occurred throughout the U.S., Europe, and Australia, too. Nowadays, “There isn’t any more art on the walls, the house has been taken over by white
boards for G.S.’s story charts,” Chris says. He’s supportive of his wife’s ambitions, so he wouldn’t be
upset by this even without 50,000 books sold in six months. The lives of new authors are challenging,
especially to the decorative adornments consuming their valuable, eye-level real estate.
G.S. knew she was not writing a book, but books, early. She contracted for six book covers (in advance)
for her “space opera.” She wanted her earliest fans to know more books were coming. But, G.S. knew
it’d take more than just writing. Talking to them, I get the sense of entrepreneurship-in-the-making.
They’ve got the product, the elevator pitch, a marketing plan, and an Amazon supply chain. In a field
where writers yearn to tell stories and leave business stuff to business folks, G.S. and Chris used brainspace to create a writer’s business plan like a tech start-up. Result: Early success. Success is rising over
“Aurora Rising.”
Indulge your fandom at The Deep Comics and Fig Leaf Costumes, Valley Planet Con Corner sponsors.
See the Con Corner blog soon for weekly content.
THE VALLEY PLANET
#082715091615
Going into this, it’s probably worth noting that this isn’t
really one novel structurally speaking. It is, in fact, two
novels in one. The first, taking up the first 560 odd pages,
sets up and then answers that initial question. Following
the destruction of the Moon by an unknown “agent,” a
realization dawns that the end of the world as we know
it is fast approaching. It becomes a race against time not
to prevent it but to make certain that something survives
what comes to be called “the Hard Rain.” The narrative
shifts back and forth initially between those on Earth
(including a character clearly modeled on Neil deGrasse
Tyson) and the crew of the International Space Station.
For those such as myself who have a strong interest in
space exploration and where it might take us in the near
future, this is perhaps the most fascinating section of
the novel as humanity races against the clock to turn the
ISS into an orbital colony despite challenges personal,
technical and political.
Where Seveneves really becomes two novels in one is in its last three hundred pages or so. It rather
suddenly jumps five thousand years in the future with a complete and total shift in both tone and setting
which benefits neither the book or the reader. The look at all the implications involved for humanity
ought to be fascinating, but it means that this section gets off to a very slow start as it effectively has to
restart the novel all over again and gets bogged down for pages in info dumping. Once it moves beyond
that, it never quite recovers despite picking up on threads that have laid dormant for hundreds of pages.
Given how much world building it has to do (both literally and figuratively), one can’t help but feel that
both this book and this section of it would have been better served as its own separate sequel novel.
Despite the narrative being hurt considerably by this last section, Seveneves is still something of a
triumph. It’s a sweeping vision of the end of our civilization, and our world, as we know it and how
we might try to ensure that something of it survives. This isn’t for the crowd raised on something like
Armageddon though with its absurd science. This is a more serious and epic look at “survival of the
fittest,” human nature and why we ought to be taking space exploration more seriously. Our future, it
suggests, could well depend on what we do beyond our world.
VOLUME 13 ISSUE 12
7
Thursday, August 27
BANDITO SOUTHSIDE, Dave Anderson
BLUE PANTS BREWERY, Christian Lee and Stone Duo
BRICKHOUSE, Anthony Sharpe
FURNITURE FACTORY, Sweet Tea Jubilee
GUADALAJARA (DECATUR), DJ Jammin Jeff
HARD DOCK (DECATUR), Geoff & Bryan
HIGHWAY HAVEN, Karaoke
HOPPER’S, Karaoke w/ DJ Tara
HUMPHREY’S (SEE AD PG.8), Duos Locos
LONE GOOSE, Traci Traci Music Communion
MOE’S (PROVIDENCE), Alan Little
MOODY MONDAYS, Karaoke
MVP SPIRITS, Drew Richter
PINCHI’S 2, Hitmaster D Karaoke
ROCKET REPUBLIC, Flannel Umbros
SPORTS PAGE, 5ive O’clock Charlie
THE BRICK DELI, Josh Allison
THE DOCKS (SCOTTSBORO), Trey Browder
THE HOT SPOT, Bike Night w/ Live Music
THE STATION, Karaoke w/ Jim McGriff
THE STEM AND STEIN, Flannel Umbros
VOODOO LOUNGE, Dave Anderson
THE THREE CAVES, Moon Taxi
VOODOO LOUNGE, LAS Band
YELLOWHAMMER BREWERY, Brad & Clint
Saturday, August 29
11TH FRAME, Greg West (Jason Aldean Tribute)
AMENDMENT XXI, Tyler Acoustic/Upstairs DJ Elyte
BELOW THE RADAR, Nick Black
BILLY’S SPORTSBAR, Karaoke
BREW STOOGES, Jimmy Henderson
BRICKHOUSE, Jessie Black
DIAMONDS (SEE AD PG.9), Hot Rod Otis
ELK’S LODGE, Silvery Moon Band
FURNITURE FACTORY, Big Daddy Kingfish/
Lucky Man
HARD DOCK (DECATUR), Groove
HOPPER’S, Emily Joseph Band
HUMPHREY’S (SEE AD PG.8), Brunch Winslow Davis
11am-2pm/ Hooka Hey 10pm - 1am
JUNO, John Miller
LAS TROJAS, Edgar
LEEANN’S, Fender Bender
LENAE’S PLACE, Andy Clark & Friends
LISA’S LOUNGE, Karaoke w/ KJ Aubrey
LONE GOOSE, Smooth Fondu (Funk It)
MAGGIE MEYER’S, Joe Smith & the Going Concern
MOE’S (PROVIDENCE), Drew Richter
NICK’S, Dave McConnell
SAMMY T’S, DJ Keibot, DJ Josh P, and DJ Whirl
SPORTS PAGE, Dawn Osborne Band
STRAIGHT TO ALE, Sandra McCracken
TANGLED STRING STUDIO, Sadler Vaden 
THE BRICK DELI, Shaken Not Stirred
THE STEM AND STEIN, Aaron Bradley
VOODOO LOUNGE, 5ive O’clock Charlie
YELLOWHAMMER BREWERY, Christopher Reeves
Foundation Benefit
Friday, August 28
BANDITO SOUTHSIDE, Bourbon & Shamrocks
BELOW THE RADAR, Tim Cannon
BILLY’S SPORTSBAR, Charlie Bonnet III
BISHOP’S WEST, Hitmaster D Karaoke
BLUE PANTS BREWERY, Steady Rollers
DIAMONDS (SEE AD PG.9), Bucked Up
EL HERRADURA, Edgar
FLYING MONKEY, La Guitarra
FURNITURE FACTORY, MonoStereo/Scott Morgan
HARD DOCK (DECATUR), Brick Avenue
HOPPER’S, DJ Danny C
HUMPHREY’S (SEE AD PG.8), 45 Surprise
JUNO, Keith Taylor
LEEANN’S, Real Deal
LONE GOOSE, Omniform
MVP SPIRITS, 1 Year Anniversary Party
NICK’S, Full Circle
ROCKET REPUBLIC, Otherside
STRAIGHT TO ALE, Alex Dietrich
THE NOOK, Just Gracey
THE BRICK DELI, Jamie Fox Band
THE HOT SPOT, Karaoke
Spiritual
Sunday, August 30
AMENDMENT XXI, Live Jazz
AMERICAN LEGION POST 176, Karaoke
BELOW THE RADAR, Alan Little
EAGLES (DECATUR), Hitmaster D Karaoke
HUMPHREY’S (SEE AD PG.8), Blues Brunch
Featuring Max Russell/ Blues Power
MAGGIE MEYER’S, Karaoke w/ DJ Wes
music cont. on pg. 9
but
NOT
Religious?
Join the Conversation!
LIVE MUSIC TUESDAY - SUNDAY
HAPPY HOUR
11AM - 6PM
EVERYDAY
DINNER
SPECIALS
AFTER 5PM
MON - WED
WEEKEND
BRUNCH
10AM - 2PM
Every Thursday 6:30 pm
Lincoln Mill
1300 Meridian St., Huntsville, AL
www.fb.com/studiohuntsville
NO COVER CHARGE
MON- THURS 11AM - 12AM
FRI 11AM - 2AM
SAT 10AM - 2AM • SUN 10AM - 12AM
studiohsv.org
256-704-5555
www.humphreysdowntown.com
109 Washington Street, Huntsville, AL 35801
8
#082715091615
VOLUME 13 ISSUE 12
THE VALLEY PLANET
music cont. from pg. 8
SPORTS PAGE, Open Mic Blue Grass Jam
THE HOT SPOT, Open Mic
VOODOO LOUNGE, Karaoke w/ DJ Brandon
Monday, August 31
BANDITO SOUTHSIDE, Robby Eichman
COPPERTOP, Karaoke w/ DJ Wes
MOODY MONDAYS, Trivia/ Karaoke
SHORTY’S (DECATUR), Hitmaster D Karaoke
SPORTS PAGE, Drew Richter
VOODOO LOUNGE, Josh Allison
Tuesday, September 1
BANDITO SOUTHSIDE, Gus Hergert
COPPERTOP, Open Mic
FURNITURE FACTORY, Karaoke w/ Super Lou
HALF TIME SPORTS LOUNGE, Bike Night w/
Chopper Dave
MAC’S SPORTSBAR (ATHENS), Hitmaster D Karaoke
MOODY MONDAYS, Open Mic
MVP SPIRITS, Josh Allison
SPORTS PAGE, Chelvis and the Bean
STRAIGHT TO ALE, Jazz ‘N’ Swing Tuesday
THE HOT SPOT, Karaoke w/ KJ Aubrey
VOODOO LOUNGE, O’Dell Johnson Duo
Wednesday, September 2
BANDITO SOUTHSIDE, Microwave Dave
HUMPHREY’S (SEE AD PG.8), Max Benson/Chelvis
& Da Bean
JEFFERSON STREET PUB, Karaoke
LEEANN’S, Brian & Geoff
MAGGIE MEYER’S, Open Mic with DJ Wes
MVP SPIRITS, Open Mic w/ Christian Lee
VOODOO LOUNGE, Open Mic
YELLOWHAMMER BREWERY, Aaron Bradley
Thursday, September 3
HUMPHREY’S (SEE AD PG.8), Beavers Brothers Band
ROCKET REPUBLIC, Matt Carroll
THE BRICK DELI, Dusty French
YELLOWHAMMER BREWERY, AL.com Real
Recording Project
Monday, September 7
COPPERTOP, Karaoke w/ DJ Wes
VOODOO LOUNGE, James Irvin
Friday, September 11
11TH FRAME, Lotus Crush
BANDITO SOUTHSIDE, Milltown
BELOW THE RADAR, Grant Judah
DIAMONDS (SEE AD PG.9), Big Daddy Kingfish
EL HERRADURA, Edgar
FURNITURE FACTORY, Southern Rock Revival
HOPPER’S, Peter and the Wolf
HUMPHREY’S (SEE AD PG.8), 45 Surprise
LEEANN’S, Groove
LONE GOOSE, Kings Haze
LOWE MILL (CONCERTS ON THE DOCK), Danika
and Jeb
ROCKET REPUBLIC, Collin Maxwell
THE BRICK DELI, DJ K-Good
VOODOO LOUNGE, Dawn Osborne Band
YELLOWHAMMER BREWERY, Toot Sweet
NYC Cabaret
COPPERTOP, Open Mic
Chopper Dave
HUMPHREY’S (SEE AD PG.8), Donnie Cox
HUMPHREY’S (SEE AD PG.8), Mathew Groves/
Seducing Alice Duo
NICK’S, Gabe Larose
FURNITURE FACTORY, Blue Handel Band
MVP SPIRITS, Rachel and Greg
ROCKET REPUBLIC, Tim Cannon
THE BRICK DELI, Jeff Goebel & Cheryl Llewellyn
Saturday, September 12
BANDITO SOUTHSIDE, Crowley
BELOW THE RADAR, Sean Eaton
BIG SPRING PARK, Southern Halo
DIAMONDS (SEE AD PG.9), Wet Bandits
/Little Raine Band
LAS TROJAS, Edgar
LEEANN’S, Crush
LONE GOOSE, Seminole Strut
RIVERFEST (DECATUR), Rollin in the Hay
SALTY NUT BREWERY, Los Colognes/ Zac Mayhall
VOODOO LOUNGE, Ant & Andrew Sharpe
YELLOWHAMMER BREWERY, Zac Shaffer
Sunday, September 13
AMENDMENT XXI, Live Jazz
music cont. on pg. 10
Friday, September 4
BANDITO SOUTHSIDE, John Nichols Cigar Box
BELOW THE RADAR, Gus Hergert
DIAMONDS (SEE AD PG.9), Brandon Stephens
EL HERRADURA, Edgar
FLYING MONKEY, Festival Expressions $5
FURNITURE FACTORY, The Real Deal
HUMPHREY’S (SEE AD PG.8), The Tillers
LEEANN’S, Kozmic Mama
LONE GOOSE, Liquid Caravan
LOWE MILL (CONCERTS ON THE DOCK), The
Solid Red
ROCKET REPUBLIC, Scott Nix
THE BRICK DELI, Wheelers
YELLOWHAMMER BREWERY, Jordy Searcy
ENTERTAINMENT
08/28 - “347”
08/29 - HOT ROD OTIS
09/04 - BRANDON STEPHENS
09/05 - RELAYER
09/11 - BIG DADDY KINGFISH
09/12 - WET BANDITS
09/18 - FUZZY GOUDA
DONTEYS
09/19 - SPACE DONKEYS
09/25 - MYERSON’S MILLER
ACOUSTIC
SAT 09/26
09/19 - SWEET ROOT
FRI
SAT
FRI
SAT
FRI
SAT
FRI
SAT
FRI
TRIVIA
Every Tuesday – 7:30 PM &
Every Friday – 6:30 PM
T�� Pla��
T� B�
S��
S�u��
H�nt��!
BANDITO SOUTHSIDE, Ant & Andrew (Beatles)
DIAMONDS (SEE AD PG.9), Relayer
HUMPHREY’S (SEE AD PG.8), Brunch Winslow Davis/
Blue Handel Band
LAS TROJAS, Edgar
LEEANN’S, Sweet Root
LONE GOOSE, Blues Power
THE BRICK DELI, Whiskey River Kings
THE HOT SPOT, Dan Martin
THE STATION, Damn Skippy/Karaoke w/ Jim McGriff
VOODOO LOUNGE, Dr. Whateva
YELLOWHAMMER BREWERY, Just Gracey
Meadowbrook Shopping Center
11208 Memorial Parkway SW
Huntsville, AL 35803
Sunday, September 6
AMENDMENT XXI, Live Blues w/ Bro Ric & the
Chicken Bone Reunion Band
Featuring Russell Gulley 
THE VALLEY PLANET
W��
E��bo��
El�� G�e�!
Must Be 21
with Valid ID
#082715091615
VOLUME 13 ISSUE 12
9
music cont. from pg. 9
BELOW THE RADAR, Alan Little
Featuring Max Russell
Monday, September 14
COPPERTOP, Jimmy Henderson
VOODOO LOUNGE, Josh Allison
COPPERTOP, Open Mic
Chopper Dave
HUMPHREY’S (SEE AD PG.8), Alex Dietrich
LEEANN’S, Love Child
HUMPHREY’S (SEE AD PG.8), Rick Carter &
Holley Malone
MAGGIE MEYER’S, Jose Ortega
MOE’S (PROVIDENCE), Tim Cannon
MVP SPIRITS, Anthony & Andrew Sharp
VERTICAL HOUSE, Wreckless Eric, 8pm
11TH FRAME, Killing Grace
BANDITO SOUTHSIDE, Red Headed Step Child
DIAMONDS (SEE AD PG.9), Fuzzy Gouda
EL HERRADURA, Edgar
FURNITURE FACTORY, Jonathon Laird
HUMPHREY’S (SEE AD PG.8), Steady Rollers
LEEANN’S, Space Donkeys
LONE GOOSE, Upper Decker
LOWE MILL (CONCERTS ON THE DOCK),
Dead Balloons
MVP SPIRITS, Daniel Yalowitz & Morgan Sloan
ROCKET REPUBLIC, Matt Carroll
SPORTS PAGE, Jacob Stiefel Music
THE BRICK DELI, 3rd Friday Party Pioneer
Chicken Stand
THE STATION, Kozmic Mama
VOODOO LOUNGE, 5ive O’clock Charlie
YELLOWHAMMER BREWERY, Honey Boy & Boots
The Exhibit, Embracing Arts: A Coming Together of Area
Amateur & Professional Artists will be at the Carnegie
Visual Arts Center now through September 19th.
http://carnegiearts.org.
BANDITO SOUTHSIDE, Loveday w/ Tasha Jones
BELOW THE RADAR, Morgan Sloan
DIAMONDS (SEE AD PG.9), Space Donkeys
FURNITURE FACTORY, MonoStereo
/5ive O’clock Charlie
LAS TROJAS, Edgar
LEEANN’S, Real Deal
LONE GOOSE, Steady Roller
MVP SPIRITS, Zac Shaffer
THE BRICK DELI, Group 6
VOODOO LOUNGE, LAS Band
YELLOWHAMMER BREWERY, Donnie Cox
There will be a Downtown Walking Tour from 9 - 9:30am
leaving from the Alabama Constitution Village.
256 535-6564
AMENDMENT XXI, Bro Ric & the Chicken Bone
Reunion Band
Featuring Microwave Dave 
THE END!!
CALENDAR OF EVENTS
Thursday, August 27
Osher Lifelong Learning Institute at UAH, a learning
community for Adults 50+, starts Fall term September 14th.
Register now: membership $16 and an $85 course fee up to
6 courses. www.Osher.uah.edu/Catalog, 256.824.6183. (See
ad pg.4)
There will be a Jam Session with Live Music on the Westside
Square from 5 - 8pm every Thursday through October.
ww.downtownhuntsville.org.
“The Art of Andy Warhol” will be on display now through
November 15th at the Hardin Center in Gadsden. $8. http://
www.culturalarts.com.
Science of Imagination series is every Thursday at 10:30am
at the US Space and Rocket Center.
www.rocketcenter.com.
Brookdale Place Jones Farm, First United Methodist Church,
Hospice of North Alabama and Laughlin Funeral Service will
have “Life after Loss: A Journey to Healing” every Thursday
through September 3rd from 3 - 4pm. It will be on third floor
Game Room of Brookdale Place Jones Farm. Free. 256 8816111, 256 883-6539.
The Time Travel Adventure Exhibit at the Burritt Museum
is through September 20th and the exhibit: From Cotton to
the Cosmos will be on display through September 6th. www.
burrittonthemountain.com.
The Huntsville Museum of Art will have the exhibits
Huntsville Photographic Society: 2015 Members’ Showcase
through September 20th, Connections: Diane Fox and
Beauvais Lyons through September 27th, and The Exhibit
Recent Acquisitions from the Collection through October
11th and Images of the Great War: The European Offensives,
1914 – 1916 from the Anne S. K. Brown Military Collection
through November 15th. www.hsvmuseum.org.
The Shirts-n-Skirts square dance club will have dancing on
the 1st & 3rd Thursdays of the month at the Dance Factory.
Then, on the 2nd & 4th Thursdays at the Athens Recreation
Center 256-423-4141, www.shirts-n-skirts.com.
Thursday Night Swing is at the Flying Monkey Theatre
from 6:30 – 10pm (every Thursday.)
www.flyingmonkeyarts.org, www.huntsvilleswing.com.
Duos and Solos Square Dance Club will be offering
lessons to couples and singles every Thursday at 6:30pm at
the Tom Bevill Enrichment Center in Rainsville, AL. www.
duosandsolos.com.
Harmony Park Animal Safari will have self-guided tours
daily 10am until sundown. 877-726-4625. 431 Clouds Cove
Rd. $8
Stein and Dine at the US Space & Rocket Center Biergarten
every Thursday from 4:30 - 7:30pm. www.rocketcenter.com.
HealthWorks Farmers Market is from 7:30 - 12pm at Plaza
Resource Center at Huntsville Hospital.
Gentle Yoga is at the Huntsville Madison Library from
11:30am - 12:45 pm every Thursday and every Wednesday at
5:15pm. Free with registration required. www.hmcpl.org.
The US Space & Rocket Center will have the exhibit The
Robot Zoo now through September 13.
Beginning Wheel Throwing, from 6 - 7:30pm, is in the
Design by Hart Pottery Studio 2009 of Lowe Mill. $90.
[email protected].
The Green Street Market is every Thursday in downtown
Huntsville. Free.
Beginners Melt and Pour Soap Class is from 6 - 8pm in T-nT Treasures Studio 266 of the Flying Monkey. It will also be
September 11th. www.flyingmonkeyarts.org.
Thursday Night Bike Rides are from 4 - 8pm meeting at the
Green Street Market Downtown every Thursday through
October. Free.
10
#082715091615
August 27 – 30
Ars Nova will have the production of the Marriage of Figaro
by Mozart at the VBC Playhouse. Performance times are
Thursday- Friday at 7:30pm, Saturday at 2:30 and 7:30pm and
Sunday at 2:30pm. $25 - 30.
www.arsnovahsv.com, 256-883-1105.
The 2015 Twickenham Fest is at the Church of Nativity from
7:30 - 9pm and Sunday at 3pm. 256- 469-1536,
www.twickenhamfest.org.
Friday, August 28
The U.S. Space & Rocket Center will have Lunch with an
Astronaut every Friday from noon - 1:30pm.
The Megan McCain Memorial Barrel Race will be at the
Morgan County Celebration Arena.
256-584-6725, www.celebrationarena.org.
There will be a Watercolor Class with Yuri Ozaki from 5:30
- 7:30pm in Studio 307 of Lowe Mill. $30. It will also be
September 4th, 11th and 18th. 256-665-8736,
www.lowemill.net.
The 17th Annual Sidewalk Moving Picture Festival is on 3rd
Avenue North @ 18th/19 Streets in Birmingham, AL from 5
- 10pm. 205- 324-0888. www.sidewalkfest.com.
There will be a Concert at Historic Three Caves with Moon
Taxi from 7 - 9pm. $35 members, $45. www.landtrustnal.org.
Epic Comedy Hour will be from 8 - 10pm in the Flying
Monkey Theatre. $8. www.flyingmonkeyarts.org.
The Last Friday Night Art Walk for the season is on the
Historic Square in Huntsville from 5 - 8pm.
www.downtownhuntsville.org.
Saturday, August 29
The Artist Market is every Saturday from 12 – 4pm at the
Flying Monkey. Free. www.flyingmonkeyarts.org.
There will be a Contra Dance in the gym of Faith Presbyterian
Church from 7:30 - 10:30pm. Live music by Whistlin Rufus and
calling by Doug Singleton. $8 adults, $6 students. 256-8370656, www.secontra.com/NACDS.html.
“Swingin’ Jazz Night” is from 7 - 10pm at the Elks Lodge
with live music from the Silvery Moon Band. Doors open at
6pm for dinner and drinks. www.silverymoonband.co
The Tennessee Valley Arabian Horse Show & Exhibition at is
Alabama A&M Agribition Center. 256-859-5896.
The Madison City Farmers Market is from 8am - noon at
1008 Hughes Road in Madison. Every Saturday through
October. 256-656-7841.
Free Saturday Fitness Classes in Big Spring Park from 10 11am.
The Huntsville Ghost Walk will begin at Harrison Brothers
Hardware Store at 6pm. Tours every Saturday through October.
$10 for adults and $5 for children. www.huntsvilleghostwalk.
com, 256- 509-3940.
A New Leash on Life will have dogs and cats available for
adoption every Saturday from 12 – 4pm at Pet Smart on Carl
T. Jones. www.anewleash.org.
events cont. on pg. 11
REGIONAL CONCERTS
ATLANTA
August 27, Kacey Musgraves, Buckhead Theatre
August 28, Boys II Men, Chastain Park
August 29, Rick Springfield, Chastain Park
August 29, Melanie Martinez, Vinyl
August 29, Nickelback, Aaron’s Amphitheatre
August 30, Rob Thomas, Chastain Park
August 30, Earl Sweatshirt, Masquerade
September 2, Madonna, Philips Arena
September 5, Chris Brown, Aaron’s Amphitheatre
September 7, ZZ Ward, Center Stage Theatre
September 9, Rodrigo y Gabriela, The Tabernacle
September 10, Kelly Clarkson, Aaron’s Amphitheatre
September 11, Dwight Yoakam, Atlanta Symphony Hall
September 11, Rita Ora, The Loft
September 11, Godspeed You! Black Emperor, Variety Playhouse
September 12, Ed Sheeran, Philips Arena
September 12, Josh Groban, Cobb Energy Performing Arts Centre
September 14, Stromae, Buckhead Theatre
September 14, Chelsea Wolfe, Aisle 5
September 15, Three Days Grace, The Tabernacle
September 15, Titus Andronicus, Masquerade
September 17, Earl Sweatshirt, Masquerade
BIRMINGHAM
September 1, Chris Brown, Oak Mountain Amphitheatre
September 9, Purity Ring, Iron City
September 10, Umphreys’s McGee, Avondale Brewing Company
September 11, Earl Sweatshirt, Iron City
September 16, Yelawolf, Zydeco
September 17, Van Halen, Oak Mountain Amphitheatre
September 20, Ariana Grande, Legacy Arena at BJCC
HUNTSVILLE
August 28, Moon Taxi, Three Caves
September 25, Black Jacket Symphony: Led Zeppelin 2, VBC Concert Hall
NASHVILLE
August 27, Chubby Checker & The Wildcats, Schermerhorn Symphony Center
August 27, Houndmouth, Live on the Green
August 27, Melanie Martinez, The High Watt
August 28, Rob Thomas, Ryman Auditorium
August 28, Old Crow Medicine Show, Ascend Amphitheatre
September 1, ZZ Top, Ascend Amphitheatre
September 3-4, Dwight Yoakam, Ryman Auditorium
September 5, Kelly Clarkson, Bridgestone Arena
September 5, Cherub, Ryman Theatre
September 5-6, Widespread Panic, Ascend Amphitheatre
September 8, Purity Ring, Marathon Music Works
September 11, Lady Antebellum, Hunter Hayes, Bridgestone Arena
September 13, Ed Sheeran, Bridgestone Arena
September 15, Best Coast, Exit/In
September 15, Earl Sweatshirt, Marathon Music Works
September 15, Chelsea Wolfe, Mercy Lounge
September 16, SoMo, Schermerhorn Symphony Center
September 16, Black Lips, Exit/In
September 16, Titus Andronicus, The Stone Fox
September 18, Billy Idol, Ryman Auditorium
September 19, Yelawolf, Boswell’s Harley Davidson
September 19, Godspeed You! Black Emperor, Marathon Music Works
TUSCALOOSA
October 15, Jason Isbell, Tuscaloosa Amphitheatre
October 16, Casting Crowns, Tuscaloosa Amphitheatre
VOLUME 13 ISSUE 12
THE VALLEY PLANET
events cont. from pg. 10
There will be a Planetarium Show every Saturday night at
7:30pm at the Planetarium. www.vbas.org.
Picking and Grinning is every Saturday from 6 – 9pm at the
New Hope Senior Center on Church Street. 256- 723-2208.
There will be a Free Brewery Tour at Straight to Ale every
Saturday. www.straighttoale.com.
The Saturday Morning Street Food Breakfast is every
Saturday from 7 - 11am thru Oct. 31 at the Northside Square
in downtown Huntsville. www.downtownhuntsville.org.
There will be a Barcamp from 8:30am - 5pm at BizTech, 515
Sparkman Drive. Free. http://www.barcamphuntsville.org.
August 29 – 30
The Fall Home & Garden Show is at the VBC South Hall,
Saturday 9am - 6pm and Sunday 11am - 5pm. 256- 533-1953.
Sunday, August 30
Bluegrass & Stained Glass, featuring the Sanctuary Choir
and Bluegrass Band, is at First Baptist, Huntsville at 5pm.
www.fbchsv.org/blue.
Marc Lacy & Friends presents SWAGPPAC at the Madison
Library at 2pm. www.hmcpl.org.
Monday, August 31
There will be a Women’s Ride (every Monday) at 5:30pm.
Meet at the MSSP Biker’s Parking Lot. 256-585-0905.
Your Yoga with Casey Beginner’s class will be in studio # 258
at Lowe Mill. Every Monday and Wednesday from 6 - 7pm.
[email protected]. www.lowemill.net.
Maggie Meyer’s will have Comedy Open Mic Night every
Monday at 8pm. www.maggiemeyersirishpub.com.
Live Trivia is every Monday at Straight to Ale Brewery.
www.straighttoale.com.
The Putting League and Bag Tag will be at Yellowhammer
Brewing from 6 - 8:30pm. $5. It will also be on September 14th.
www.mindopendisc.golf.com,
www.yellowhammerbrewery.com.
Latham United Methodist Church will have a Farmers’
Market every Tuesday from 3 - 7pm, now through October.
http://downtoearthcrier.blogspot.com.
Nicks Ristorante will have Trivia every Tuesday night from 6
- 8pm. www.nicksristorante.com.
The Scarecrow Trail will be open at the Huntsville Botanical
Gardens now through October. 256-830-4447,
www.hsvbg.org.
West Coast Swing presented by Rocket Westies is at the
Flying Monkey every Tuesday at 7pm. $10.
www.RocketWesties.com
The Huntsville Madison Library will have Basic Genealogy
every Tuesday from 4 - 6pm. Free. www.hmcpl.org.
Games with Friends at Straight to Ale from 7 - 9pm.
www.straighttoale.com.
The Huntsville-Madison County Public Library presents
Tuesdays with TED every second and fourth Tuesday from
noon to 1pm at the Downtown Huntsville Library.
256-532-2362, [email protected].
Every Wednesday there will be a Bike Ride at 5:30pm starting
at Bicycles Etc. www.bicyclesetc.us.
There will be a Free workout each Wednesday at 10am at the
Oscar Mason Branch in the Oscar Mason Center, 149 Mason
Court. 256-535-2249, www.hmcpl.org.
Comic Book Art & Illustration Class will be from 6 - 9pm in
SuperPowered Studios 113 of Lowe Mill. $25. It will also be
September 9th and 16th. www.lowemill.net.
The Mountain Valley Arts Council will have the Exhibit
Michael Banks now through September 26th. There will be
a reception tomorrow on September 3rd.
www.mountainvalleyartscouncil.com.
Comedy Open Mic Night is every Wednesday at Copper Top
in Huntsville. 256 -536-1150.
The Madison County College and Career Fair Parents Night
will be in the UAH University Fitness Center from 6 - 8pm.
There will be 80 public and private colleges and universities
there. 256-824-2773, www.universityfitnesscenter.com.
Beginning Wheel Throwing will be in DesighnbyHart Pottery
Studio 2009 of Lowe Mill from 6 - 7:30pm. $90. It will also be
September 10th, 17th and 24th. www.lowemill.net.
The Community Conversation: New York Times Best-Selling
Author, Greg Isles will be at UAHuntsville Chan Auditorium
at 7pm.www.uah.edu.
Fandom Fest will be at the Madison Library from 6 - 7pm.
www.hmcpl.org.
September 3 – 5
Downtown Tailgate Games will be from 9am - 11pm around
the Courthouse Square in Downtown Huntsville. There
will be a Human Foosball Tournament from 9am - 3pm on
Sunday at Big Spring Park East.
http://www.downtownhuntsville.org.
September 3 - 6
The 2015 Honda Wing Ding Rocket City Road Trip Rally
will be at the Von Braun Center. There will be a bike show,
a poker run, grand parade, light parade, live music and more.
http://wing-ding.org,
September 3 – 7
The Northeast Alabama State Fair will be at John Hunt Park
Thursday - Friday from 6 - 11pm, Saturday-Sunday 2 - 11pm
and Monday 2 - 9pm. 256-883-5252.
Friday, September 4
Alright Bayou Comedy standup show is every 1st, 3rd, and 5th
Friday at 8pm at Tim’s Cajun Kitchen. $5.
There will be Opening Art Receptions with Andrew Winn,
Amy Lansbury, David Nuttall, Paul Wilm and Jenny Fine at
Lowe Mill from 6 - 8pm. www.lowemill.net.
Church from 7:30 - 10:30pm. $8 adults, $6 students.
256-837-0656, www.secontra.com/NACDS.html.
LearningQUEST Public Program: Burritt on the Mountain will
be at the Huntsville - Madison Library at 12pm.
www.hmcpl.org.
The 45th Annual St. William Seafood Festival will be at
Civitan Park on Lake Guntersville. The drive through will
open at 7:30am and dine-in opens at 10:30am.
http://stwilliamchurch.com/seafood_festival.
Cruise-In on The Square will be in downtown Athens from
3 - 6pm.
There will be a Coffee Call from 8 - 9:30am at the Alabama
Veterans Museum. 256-771-7578.
Hooping with Chrisha will be from 1 - 3:30pm in the Flying
Monkey Theatre. $15. www.flyingmonkeyarts.org.
There will be a Haunted Trolley Tour at 6pm starting at
Harrison Brothers. $12 adults, $10 children. It will be every
Saturday through October. 256-509-3940,
www.harrisonbrothershardware.com.
The Monte Sano 10K & 5K Road Races & Fun Run will be at
Monte Sano State Park at 8am.
http://www.huntsvilletrackclub.org.
Super Saturdays-Introduction to Geocaching, Orienteering,
and Letterboxing will be from 10 - 4pm at Burritt on the
Mountain. General admission: $8 children, $10 adult, $9
seniors and military. www.burrittonthemountain.com.
Sci-Quest will have Parents Night Out at 6 - 10pm.
www.sci-quest.org.
September 5 – 6
The Point Mallard Pickers will be at Point Mallard Park from
8am - 4pm. www.pointmallardpark.com.
The Teague VIP Express Bus Trip to the Alabama A&M vs.
Cincinnati Football Game Tickets are available. 256-694-2038.
The Huntsville Polish-American Culture Club will meet
Wednesdays from 7 - 9pm at the Good Shepherd Church.
256-653-4450, [email protected].
The Battle for Decatur Civil War Reenactment will be
at Point Mallard Park Saturday and Sunday at 12pm.
[email protected], 256-350-2028.
The Singles & Doubles Square Dance Club meets each
Wednesday night at Berachah Gym from 6 – 8:45pm.
256-881-5720.
Sunday, September 6
The 10th Annual Caribbean Day at The Park will be from
noon - 6pm at Stoner Field Park, 3715 Bragg Street. 256-4298145, www.CANAonline.com.
Grapes in Colored Pencil will be from 6 - 8pm in ChromAddict
Studio 2025 of Lowe Mill. $112. It will also be September 9th,
16th, and 23rd. www.lowemill.net.
The HAM Radio Club Meeting will be the first Sunday of
every month from 1:30 - 3:30pm at First Baptist Church in
the Fellowship Hall. www.fbchsv.org.
Pub Crawl is at 5:15pm to 8:30pm in downtown Huntsville.
The Trolley will take you to four different downtown
establishments. Every 2nd Wednesday through October.
256-850-3231, Homegrownhuntsville.com.
Comedienne Hope Flood will be at the 4th Quarter Bar and
Grill, 4701 Meridian Street at 5:30pm and 7:30pm.
http://www.huntsvilleurbannetwork.com.
There will be a Free workout each Wednesday at 10am at the
Oscar Mason Branch Library in the Oscar Mason Center, 149
Mason Court. 256-535-2249, www.hmcpl.org.
The Film Co-op Monthly Workshop will from 2 - 4pm in
Studio 251 of the Flying Monkey Arts. Free.
www.flyingmonkeyarts.org.
Gentle Yoga classes every Wednesday at 5:15pm and every
Thursday at 11:30am at the Downtown Huntsville Library.
Free. www.hmcpl.org.
The Heart of Dixie Llama and Alpaca Show will be at the
Alabama A & M Agribition Center at 8am. Free.
256- 859-5896.
events cont. on pg. 12
THE VALLEY PLANET
#082715091615
VOLUME 13 ISSUE 12
11
Monday, September 7
LEGO Mania will be at the Huntsville-Madison Public
Library from 3:30 - 5:30pm. www.hmcpl.org.
The Business of Art will be from 12:30 - 1:30pm in the
Classroom Studio 2008 of Lowe Mill. $25.
www.lowemill.net.
Tennessee Valley Civil War Round Table, “De Bow’s Review:
The Antebellum Vision of a New South (New Directions in
Southern History) presentation will be at the Elk’s Lodge at
6:30pm. 256-278-5533, www.tvcwrt.org.
PFLAG Huntsville Support Meeting will be from 6 - 7pm at the
Huntsville-Madison Downtown Library. www.hmcpl.org.
The Huntsville Ski Club Meeting hosts, An Evening with
Picabo Street at the Huntsville Area Board of Realtors
Building from 7 - 8:30pm. Free. (See ad pg.4)
http://www.huntsvilleskiclub.org.
Summit on Philanthropy will be at the Jackson Center from
8 - 11am. Free. www.communityfoundationhsv.org.
NAAACC Business Opportunity Expo & Conference will be
at the Jackson Center, Moquin Drive. 256-564-7574.
There will be a Book Club Meeting at Yellowhammer
Brewing from 6 - 8pm. www.yellowhammerbrewery.com.
Natural Fall Wreaths Workshop will be at the Huntsville
Botanical Garden from 6 - 7pm. www.hsvbg.org.
Fridays After Five will be in downtown Athens from 5 - 8pm.
athensplus.com.
September 17 - 19
Theatre Huntsville presents the play, The Philadelphia Story
at the VBC Playhouse on Friday, Saturday at 7:30pm and
Sunday at 2pm. www.yourseatiswaiting.org.
September 11 – 12
The 21st annual Riverfest will be at Ingalls Harbor in
Decatur, Alabama. There will be a barbecue competition, food
vendors, live music and children’s activities. Weekend passes
$30. http://www.decaturjaycees.com.
September 17 - 20
The Downtown Cornhole Trail will be from 11am - 11pm.
Cornholes will be placed around the Courthouse Square, on
Jefferson and Washington Street in Huntsville.
September 11 - 13
IMP presents Jesus Christ Superstar at the Main Stage
Theater at Lee High School. Performance times are Friday
and Saturday at 7:30pm and Sunday at 2:30pm. Tickets start
at $18. www.imphuntsville.org.
IMP presents Jesus Christ Superstar at the Main Stage
Theater at Lee High School. Performance times are Thursday
- Saturday at 7:30pm and Sunday at 2:30pm. Tickets start at
$18. www.imphuntsville.org.
Theatre Huntsville presents the play, The Philadelphia Story
at the VBC Playhouse. It will be Friday, Saturday at 7:30pm
and Sunday at 2pm. www.yourseatiswaiting.org.
A Christmas Carol Auditions will be at Fantasy Playhouse
Arts Center, 3312 Long Ave. www.fantasyplayhouse.com.
The Valley Conservatory Early Music Festival Concert
featuring VCEM Festival Artists and the Huntsville Collegium
Musicum will be at 2pm at St. Mary of the Visitation Catholic
Church 222 Jefferson St. in Huntsville. 256 534-3131
www.valleyconservatory.com, (See ad pg.8)
The Fantasy Playhouse Pancake Breakfast will be at
Applebee’s Huntsville/South Parkway from 7 - 9:30am. $6.
www.letthemagicbegin.org.
Touchzone Photography presents How To Shoot Like A Pro
at the Alabama A& M Wellness Center from 1 – 2:30pm. $99
for two classes. It will also be on September 19th.
www.touchzonephotography.com.
Old-Fashioned Trade Day on the Square will be in
Downtown Huntsville at the Courthouse Square from 8am
- 5pm. 256-852-5378.
The 9/11 Heroes Run will be at 7am at the Alabama Veterans
Museum. [email protected], ww.travismanion.org/
tmf_911run_race/911-heroes-run-athens-al.
September 17 -20
Oktoberfest will be at the Redstone Arsenal Activity Field.
There will be Carnival Rides, German Food, German Beer,
Oompah Music, and much more. It will be Thursday from 5
- 10pm, Friday 5pm - 1am, Saturday 12pm - 1am and Sunday
2- 7pm.redstonemwr.com. (See ad pg.4)
Out Loud! Featuring Kimberly Casey will be from 6 - 8pm in
the Classroom Studio 2008 of Lowe Mill. Free.
www.lowemill.net.
The National Children’s Advocacy Center’s 14th Annual
September Celebration will be at 6:30pm at the Huntsville
Museum of Art. http://www.nationalcac.org.
The Downtown Street Food Gathering will be on Church
Street in Big Spring Park from 6 - 9pm.
Comic Science Improv will be from 7 - 9pm at Crosswinds
Church. $7. http://www.comicscienceimprov.com.
The 3rd Friday in Downtown Decatur will be at 6pm.
http://www.decaturcvb.org.
England: A Sea Symphony presented by the Huntsville
Symphony Orchestra will be at the VBC Concert Hall from
7:30 - 9:30pm. www.hso.org.
September 18 – 19
Alabama Veterans Museum Militaria Show will be at the
Limestone County Event Center, Friday from noon - 7pm
and Saturday 9am - 4pm. 256-771-7578.
Superhero Day will be at Big Spring Memorial Park from
9am - noon. Team Victory 4 hosts events to give-back to
the community and to raise money for St. Jude Children’s
Research Hospital and to pay funeral expenses of children lost
to cancer. www.teamvictory4all.org. 256 230-0034
The Blue Suede King will be at Renaissance Theatre’s
Mainstage at 7pm. $22. www.renaissancetheatre.net.
The North Alabama NSBE Professionals 2nd Annual 5K STEM
Run/Walk will be at Alabama A & M University at 8am.
http://www.huntsvilleurbannetwork.com.
September 18 – 20
The NEACA Fall Craft Show will be at the VBC South Hall.
Free. 256- 533-1953.
Delta Sigma Theta presents the Alumni Greek Step Show at
the Elmore Gymnasium at Alabama A & M University at 7pm.
Students $10, Adults $20.
KALB Duck and Run 5K will be in historic areas of Athens
starting at 7am on East Street.
www.duckandrun5k.com/p/duck-and-run-5k.html.
Saturday Scientist -The Science of Animation will be at the
US Space & Rocket Center at 11:30am.
Santa’s Schoolhouse Run will be at 8am. $25.
http://www.christmascharitiesyearround.org.
A Walk to End Alzheimer’s will be at the Huntsville Botanical
Gardens at 9pm. www.hsvbg.org.
Trail of Tears Commemorative Motorcycle Ride will be today.
The ride starts at Bridgeport on Hwy 72 through Waterloo.
http://al-tn-trailoftears.net.
WWE Live will be at the VBC Arena at 7:30pm.
http://www.wwe.com.
September 12 - 13
Slide the City will be in downtown Huntsville from 11am
- 6pm. Southern Halo will be performing on Saturday at Big
Spring Park. www.slidethecity.com,
September 12 - 19
The 35th Annual Depot Days Festival will be in downtown
Hartselle. Free. www.hartsellechamber.com
Huntsville/Madison Co Historical Society will meet at 2pm
in the Huntsville-Madison Co library for a presentation by
LTC (ret) Edwin Kennedy on the life of an American soldier in
World War I. Free. 256-509-3940
Monday, September 14
Pottery Skills: Basic Wheel Throwing will be from 6 - 7:30pm
in DesignbyHart Studio 2009 of Lowe Mill. arabowenpottery@
gmail.com, www.lowemill.net.
The Taste of Home Cooking Expo will be at the VBC Exhibit
Hall from noon - 6pm. There will be a Taste of Home Cooking
School. http://www.tasteofhomehsv.com/cooking-school.
Family Game Night will be at the Madison Library from 6
- 7pm. www.hmcpl.org.
12
The Valley Arts and Entertainment will have the Alabama
Women in Jazz Festival at Big Spring Park - East. Performers
include Jazz in Pink and Dorene Ketchens from New Orleans.
Tickets starting at $20.99. www.alabamawomeninjazz.org.
Church from 7:30 - 10:30pm. $8 adults, $6 students. 256-8370656, www.secontra.com/NACDS.html.
The Spring City Cycling Club’s (SCCC) 31st Annual All You Can
Eat (AYCE) Century Ride will be at Madison County High
School at 8am. http://www.springcity.org.
The Monte Sano Art Festival will be at the Monte Sano
State Picnic Area from 9am - 5pm. Free. 256- 519-2787.
The Sparkman Arts Festival will be at Sparkman High
School from 10am - 2pm. $5 parking fee. www.facebook.
com/sparkmanartsfestival?ref=aymt_homepage_panel.
The 16th Annual Moon Over Three Caves Dance will be from
7 - 11pm. Dinner by Carrabba’s and music by the Midnighters.
Tickets are $80.
moonoverthreecaves.brownpapertickets.com.
September 19 - 20
The Bailey Cove Library will have a Used Book Sale, Saturday
9am - 4:30pm and Sunday from 1 - 4:30pm. 256-881-0257,
256-881-0267, www.hmcpl.org.
THE END!!
#082715091615
FREE WILL
ASTROLOGY
August 27 - September 16
© Copyright 2015 Rob Brezsny
ARIES (March 21-April 19): You like to run
ahead of the pack. You prefer to show people the
way, to set the pace. It’s cleaner that way, right?
There’s less risk you will be caught up in the
messy details of everyday compromise. But I suspect that the time is right for you to try an experiment: Temporarily ease yourself into the middle
of the pack. Be willing to deal with the messy
details of everyday compromise. Why? Because
it will teach you lessons that will serve you well
the next time you’re showing the way and setting
the pace.
TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Are you ready to
revise your ideas about how love works? Would
you consider re-evaluating your relationship to
romance, your approach to intimacy, and your
understanding of sex? I hope you will not only be
willing but also excited to do these things. Now is
a favorable time to make changes that will energize your love life with a steady flow of magic for
months to come. To get the party started, brainstorm about experiments you could try to invigorate the dynamics of togetherness. Make a list
of your customary romantic strategies, and rebel
against them all. Speak sexy truths that are both
shocking and endearing.
GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Querencia is a Spanish word with many nuances. At its simplest, it
refers to your favorite spot, a place where you
long to be. But its meaning can go even deeper.
Querencia may be a sanctuary where you feel
safe and authentic, or a situation that enables you
to draw on extra reserves of strength and courage. It’s a special kind of home: an empowering
shelter that makes you feel that you belong in this
world and love your life. Can you guess where
I’m going with this message, Gemini? These days
you need to be in your querencia even more than
usual. If you don’t have one, or if you don’t know
where yours is, formulate a fierce intention to locate it.
CANCER (June 21-July 22): The art of effective
communication consists of knowing both what to
say and what not to say. It’s not enough to simply
find the words that accurately convey your meaning. You have to tailor your message to the quirks
of your listeners. For example, let’s say you want
to articulate the process that led you to change
your mind about an important issue. You would
use different language with a child, an authority
figure, and a friend. Right? I think you are currently at the peak of your abilities to do this well,
Cancerian. Take full advantage of your fluency.
Create clear, vivid impressions that influence
people to like you and help you.
LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Arthur Conan Doyle
first used the term “smoking gun” in a story he
wrote over a century ago. It referred to a time the
fictional detective Sherlock Holmes burst into a
room to find a man holding a pistol that had just
been fired, along with the fallen body of a man
who had been shot. Since then, the meaning of
“smoking gun” has expanded. Now it’s any piece
of evidence that serves as compelling proof of a
certain hypothesis. If you can’t find the cookie
you left in the kitchen, and your roommate walks
by with cookie crumbs on his chin, it’s the smoking gun that confirms he pilfered your treat. I
believe this is an important theme for you right
now. What question do you need answered? What
theory would you like to have corroborated? The
smoking gun will appear.
VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): At least for now, I
suggest you suspend the quest for order and refinement and perfection. The wise course of action is to disengage from your fascination with
control, and instead give yourself to the throbbing, erratic pulse of the Cosmic Wow. Why? If
you do, you will be able to evolve faster than you
thought possible. Your strength will come from
agile curiosity and an eagerness to experiment.
Do you remember when you last explored the
catalytic wonders of spontaneity and unpredictability? Do it again!
VOLUME 13 ISSUE 12
LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): This is the deepest,
darkest phase of your cycle. The star that you will
ultimately make a wish upon has not yet risen.
Your pet monsters seem to have forgotten for the
moment that they are supposed to be your allies,
not your nemeses. Smoke from the smoldering
embers in your repressed memories is blending
with the chill night fog in your dreams, making
your life seem like a riddle wrapped in a mystery
inside a taco. Just kidding about that last part. I
wanted to see if your sense of humor is intact, because if it is, you will respond resiliently to all the
cosmic jokes in your upcoming tests.
SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): According to the
poet Rainer Maria Rilke, here’s what God says
to each of us: “Go the limits of your longing . .
. Flare up like flame and make big shadows that
I can move in. Let everything happen to you:
beauty and terror. Just keep going. No feeling is
final.” Whether or not you’re on speaking terms
with the Creator, this is excellent advice. It’s time
to give everything you have and take everything
you need. Hold nothing back and open yourself as
wide and wild as you dare. Explore the feeling of
having nothing to lose and expect the arrivals of
useful surprises.
SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): The sun and
the expansive planet Jupiter are currently making
a joyful noise in the sign of Virgo, which is your
astrological House of Career and Ambition. This
does not necessarily mean that a boon to your career and ambition will fall into your lap, although
such an event is more likely than usual. More importantly, this omen suggests that you will influence luck, fate, and your subconscious mind to
work in your favor if you take dramatic practical
action to advance your career and ambitions.
CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): On August 28,
1963, Capricorn hero Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.
delivered his “I Have a Dream” speech to a crowd
of thousands in Washington, D.C. In that address,
he imagined what it might look like if African
Americans were free of the bigotry and oppression they had endured for centuries at the hands
of white Americans. In accordance with your astrological potentials, I encourage you to articulate
your own “I Have a Dream” vision sometime
soon. Picture in detail the successful stories you
want to actualize in the future. Visualize the liberations you will achieve and the powers you will
obtain.
AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): If you have been
patiently waiting for a propitious moment to buy
a new yacht, pledge your undying love, or get a
tattoo that depicts Buddha wrestling Satan, now is
as close as you’ll get to that propitious moment,
at least for a while. Even if you have merely been
considering the possibility of signing a year-long
lease, asking a cute mischief-maker on a date,
or posting an extra-edgy meme on Facebook or
Twitter, the next three weeks would be prime
time to strike. Diving into a deep, heart-crazed
commitment is sometimes a jangly process for
you Aquarians, but these days it might be almost
smooth and synchronistic.
PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Ready for a ritual?
Get a piece of paper and a pen. Light a candle,
take three deep breaths, and chant “YUMMMM”
five times. Then spend ten minutes writing down
the qualities you would like your perfect lover
to possess. Identify both the traits that would
make this person unique and the behavior he or
she would display toward you. Got that? When
you are finished, burn the list you made. Disavow
everything you wrote. Pledge to live for at least
seven months without harboring fixed beliefs
about what your ideal partner should be like. Instead, make yourself extra receptive to the possibility that you will learn new truths about what
you need. Why? I suspect that love has elaborate
plans for you in the next two years. You will be
better prepared to cooperate with them if you are
initially free of strong agendas.
Homework: What new title, degree, award, or
perk will you have two years from today that you
don’t have now? Testify at FreeWillAstrology.
com.
THE VALLEY PLANET
By sanctioning our government to go to war, we
were/are responsible for early deaths, and for
pain and disfigurement. We have killed thousands
of the innocent children of our “enemies,” and
spawned more deaths by the dramatic increase in
terrorism that followed.
(Disclaimer: Though this article may appear to
be about abortion, it is, rather, about deadly hypocrisy.)
W
e are a funny nation. Not “funny” as in
“ha-ha,” but as in “strange” and “disturbing.”
Some, for example, are so consumed by Kim
Kardashian’s inflated butt selfies that they are
oblivious to a possible war with Iran, which we
must strongly oppose. At the moment, diplomacy
is working, and with our support, could continue
to work.
The anti-abortion debate, the “planned parenthood” 2016 election issue, revolves around the
idea of the sanctity of human life. However, some
Americans, especially in times of war, feel we
have the right to choose whose lives are sacred,
and whose are not. Americans, sacred; Iraqis, not.
Americans, sacred; Afghans, not. And now, the
possibility of Americans, sacred; Iranians, not.
Where the abortion issue becomes both sticky,
and stuck, for both women and lawmakers is the
question of “When does life begin?”
My question, however, is this: When does a
child’s relationship to its parents end? Or, when
do we stop being the children of our parents, the
children of men and women, who are also the
children of men and women, and on back to the
first parents and the first children.
If we stop lying to ourselves about wars America wages, we must call ourselves “the enemies
of children.” These children cannot be summed
up with an easy or cold word, such as “collateral
damage,” though they are casually dismissed this
way.
They were, in fact, sanctified human lives, at or
near their beginnings.
We fed our American babies, our sons and daughters, as fodder to the “enemy” we created in our
minds. We didn’t take them from the womb of
their mothers in a hospital, clinic, back alley or
bedroom closet; but our hands are just as bloody
as if we did.
As we Americans consummate our love affair
with violence, guns and gun ownership, violent
movies, hunting, and war, we have become the
most violent nation on the planet.
We possess a military arsenal that financially and
morally obliterates the greater good we could do
in our own country and in the world. We still wonder, as though our I.Q’s have dropped to nil, why
acts of terrorism and mass shootings are on the
rise. America has become a deadly role model for
its young who kill moviegoers, students, teachers,
and people at prayer.
In the Vietnam War, 60,000 American soldiers
were killed in action. These young men were beloved children of American mothers and fathers.
If we think our hands are clean simply because
we oppose abortion, but simultaneously agree to
war, we are flagrant liars and murderers who kill
others by proxy.
Beloved children of the Vietnamese killed numbered from one to three million, including civilians (http://faculty.washington.edu/charles/pubs/
VietnameseCasualtiesDuringAmerican.pdf.).
Men, women, and children (including babies)
were denied the right to life.
If we oppose the killing of babies still in the
womb, we must also oppose the war on children
of the world. If we find this argument illogical, we
must remember that war itself is illogical.
In Iraq, America lost 4,486 men and women.
These, too, were the children of mankind. Iraqis
lost anywhere from a half-million to a million
“non-combative” human beings (http://www.psmag.com/politics-and-law/one-every-ten-peoplekilled-syrias-war-child-70787).
Some of the citizen casualties of Iraq were babies; some of them were babies in Iraqi women’s
arms or in their wombs. How many babies were
deprived of existence in a conscious choice we
Americans made when guided by Congress and
President Bush?
In Afghanistan, we lost 2,345 children of American men and women.
T
rue classic rock fans will best remember
the band Spirit’s biggest radio hit, “I Got
a Line On You.” I often wonder why it
doesn’t get more (any?) airplay these days. It was
a hard-rocking tune with everything you’d want
hit.
This day and age the band is garnering new
acclaim due to the song “Taurus” because Led
Zeppelin - Jimmy Page in particular - purloined
the chord progression and many licks for what is
Zep’s best known song “Stairway to Heaven.”
It’s more than coincidence that STH appeared
shortly after they did a tour with Spirit,
This is a sad thing to me. Why would what is the
most talent loaded and arguably the best rock band
THE VALLEY PLANET
Master Esthetician
Licensed Barber
Melissa Steelman
Master Hair Design Color Specialist
In this nation that lives in denial of the flesh and
blood of a human “enemy,” how can it brazenly
dare to make laws to stop a woman from seeking
an abortion?
The only difference in an abortion and a call for
war: the mother will actually be there to experience the physical and emotional pain of her actions, or the immediate consequences of what she
does. Not so for the cheering armchair warriors
who rashly obstruct viable diplomacy.
With nuclear weapons involved, the lives of all
the children of men are at stake.
We must do everything in our power to keep children safe, and not to destroy them through the socalled “protection” of war.
ever need or want to steal material? The family
of Spirit, the late Randy California wants his
writing credit duly noted and to be compensated
monetarily as he so richly deserves.
Dr. Anarcho’s Rx for Old Stuff That Don’t Suck
“Time Circle” by: Spirit.
Kellye McCormick, Owner
When it comes to the issues of anti-abortion and
pro-war, we are rapacious hypocrites.
I was a Zeppelin apologist and defender until I
listened to bot “Taurus: and “Stairway to Heaven”
back to back on You Tube. Give them a listen and
you will agree.
Spirit was one of the most innovative bands in
psychedelic rock. They were only a rung or two
from being on Pink Floyd’s level.
I know the plagiarism case isn’t yet settled in
the courts but I have zero doubt that it will be
confirmed that Page stole the chords, melodies,
and licks from “Taurus.”
Zeppelin should just man up and pay what they
owe - and it will be a lot - to those whom they
owe.
Meanwhile, if you haven’t checked out Spirit, I
urge you to give “Time Circle” a listen and let
Randy California’s spirit be at peace.
#082715091615
Disc One
Tracks listing
1.
Fresh Garbage 2.
Uncle Jack 3.
Mechanical World 4.
Taurus 5.
Girl In Your Eye 6.
Straight Arrow 7.
Topanga Windows 8.
Gramophone Man 9.
The Great Canyon Fire In General
10.
I Got a Line on You
11.
It Shall Be 12.
Poor Richard 13.
Silky Sam 14.
Sherozode 15.
All The Same 16.
Dream Within A Dream 17.
Aren’t You Glad 18.
Eventide 19.
Model Shoppe Theme (The Moving Van) 20.
Green Gorilla 21.
Rehearsal Theme VOLUME 13 ISSUE 12
Disc Two
1.
Fog 2.
Now Or Anywhere 3.
Dark Eyed Woman 4.
So Little Time To Fly 5.
Ground Hog 6.
Ice 7.
I’m Truckin’ 8.
New Dope In Town 9.
1984 10.
Sweet Stella Baby 11.
Prelude - Nothin’ To Hide 12.
Nature’s Way 13.
Animal Zoo 14.
Love Has Found A Way 15.
Why Can’t I Be Free 16.
Mr. Skin 17.
When I Touch You 18.
Street Worm 19.
Morning Will Come 20.
Turn To The Right
13
The Valley Planet Music Exchange is FREE to any individual (not businesses) looking to
buy, sell, trade or find bandmates. You get a headline and 3 lines of text for FREE!
Please call (256) 533-4613 or
email your ads to [email protected].
Two awesome basses for a great price! This package
also includes a hardshell case (valued at $100 alone),
a set of Ernie Ball Cobalt Slinky strings, three single
GHS strings, a strap, and two Fender guitar gig bags.
Perfect for beginners (or a parent trying to buy for
multiple kids) or someone looking for a couple of
good backup or inexpensive gigging basses. Asking
$400 for all, 2564315130
Hofner Model 4910 bought in West Germany 1984.
Excellent condition and hard shell case. Loads of music
books, tuners, etc. reduced to $450. Serious?
email [email protected]
Professional musician seeking to rent space for live music
rehearsal, price and terms negotiable. References available
upon request. Chris 256-541-9118
Unchained
Maladies
by Ricky Thomason
Note: for those who have no clue what
satire is: go look it up before you read
this - please.
B
eing that I am, in part, Native
American, I can sympathize with
the feelings of all who wish not
to be reminded of past horrors. From where I sit,
peoples forcibly taken from their countries and
maltreated horrendously have a right to be a bit
upset. 
 
Native Americans had our entire country taken
from us by the whites and were the victims of outright genocide and force-marched removal from
our homes and traditions. They don’t call it “The
Trail of Tears” for nothing.
 
It’s apparent that the varnish on America’s history
is tarnished. 
 
There is a small, but growing group  that want that
ultimate symbol of our shame removed from government buildings in this country. Do you have
any idea how hurtful and loathsome the American
Flag is to many people who were here first?
 
You’ll have to agree, by the logic of the day, the
American Flag may possibly be the most hateful symbol of all for those with Native American
blood. Shouldn’t it be removed now? 
In the infamous words of Forrest Gump, “That’s
all I got to say about that.” 
Okay, not really. In the interest of full disclosure,
that’s all I am allowed to say about that.
* * *
I wonder how many others are enjoying the dog
and pony show of the Republican Presidential
Primary? If this mess was happening in Ringling
Brothers, PTB would be yelling, “Send in the
clowns!” 
Sorry, PT. They’ve already sent in the clowns.
They are the main show.
14
Multi-inst’ist/vocalist seeks guitarist/harmonicist/singer
named Danny, 65, from Madison. Call/text Joe at
256-617-1395.
Guitarist/Keyboardist/Singer seeks another guitarist
and/or keyboardist, as well as a bassist who’s quick on the
uptake. Ideally, should sing (well). Have drummer. For
multiple different projects: Wedding/corporate gig band
(covers, ‘60s-‘10s); jazz/blues/fusion; originals in ALL styles.
Call/text Joe at 256-617-1395.
Speaker For Sale, Used 50 inch tall, 25 inch wide and 16
inch deep. Black with wheels. $110. 256 606-5152, Decatur.
Looking for a music comedy side kick. I change words in
songs but, I need a guitar player or Keys. call Fred
256-653-3503
You have to love The Donald. He can make a mockery
of any given situation in
which he inserts his mouth,
foot first. I think his inappropriateness is the number one
reason so many white Republicans find him refreshing and support his radical
ideology so vocally. Trump
can say publicly what they
long wanted to. They have,
in fact said much, much
more in furtive whispers and wish Trump would
turn up the heat and the volume.
Send in your random encounters today. It’s FREE!!
We are putting all the categories together since it seems like there are always more jeers than anything
else!! But just to give you an idea of what the To Yuno from Yunohoos are about… I Saw you: but
you didn’t catch my name, You saw me or you think you were seen: Cheers: Pay your respect to those
who deserve it and of course Jeers: Frustrated? Tell us all about it. Thankfully, we don’t know who
you are!
To send in your FREE ad
1. Keep your word limit to 40 words. No names, just initials if you want.
2. Meet the deadline.
3. Get it to us: Put “To Yuno from Yunohoo” in the subject line of the email and send to classifieds@
valleyplanet.com.
A/R -  Remember the old  “Easy To Be Hard”
song by Three Dog Night? Those were the days,
my friend: Melanie, I believe. 
To Penny - wherever we may find her. I didn’t
mean to be cold, but I always said “a Penny urned
is a Penny saved.”
Peg - Settle down. We’re only second cousins. In
Britain that would make us royalty. PW
Baby, you are my love and my life. I adore you.
ME
SC: thanks for the prizes and curb service.
SWEET!! JW
NFH - You still pretending to talk to that FN Box?
Never believed it...
H - Disappointed, my friend, disappointed. 
D - Hold the line, buddy. Many more miss her
almost as badly as you. Friends indeed
LG - You’re better than any TV I ever watched.
Happy Anniversary. YLH
KT - We, the jury, judge you’ve bought yourself a
loser. Hang in there - and take nothing. Fam
D -  You, like Elvis, have done it your way. How’s
that working out for you? The Killer
MB - When I think back to what happened I can
only hear Mikey McD singing “What a fool believes.” 
Mr. unknown, thanks for the call, I had no idea I
had the wrong number. saved me! SC
J - You can almost always love a dog, but it is easy
to hate a cat. Bob
Bob - Could be because dogs suffer fools better
than cats ever will. Dizzle.
S, Groovin on the foot massages J
New V.P. Website looks great. A huge VP fan!
Family Guy: When you killed Brian you killed
the show. We won’t be back. Fansnomo
CK - Talk about some mac and cheese... Geez
SW: Glad your twin is gone!! Sexy legs! Yunohoo
One gets the feeling their wishes are going to
come true - and then some.
Trump speaks for many, many frustrated people
and there is nothing he can do that will deter
them.
Democracy in America has long been a farce.
Everything is sold to the highest bidder. It’s like
an auction and no one can outbid Trump and his
$1B.
It gives many of us pause to think what his ego
will lead him to do if he does become POTUS.  
It appears the United States is no longer content
to watch Russia’s Vladimir Putin be the craziest and most unpredictable leader in the world.
Americans are now saying, “We’ll see your Putin
and Trump it.”
Trump’s trumpet will be heard long and loud.
Now Jesse Ventura says he’d like to be Trumps
running mate.
W
elcome to the Jazz Lounge. The focus for this session is on an amazing
new release of a historic concert that
you will want to add to your collection. “Live
In Cuba”–The Jazz At Lincoln Center Orchestra
With Wynton Marsalis, is the debut release from
Blue Engine Records – a new label from Jazz At
Lincoln Center dedicated to preserving and promoting jazz.
“Live In Cuba” captures 9-time Grammy Awardwinner Wynton Marsalis and the world-renowned
Jazz At Lincoln Center Orchestra’s first – and only
– performances in Cuba, where they explored the
connections between American jazz and Afro-Cuban music – from bebop to bolero and beyond.
Let’s enjoy this train wreck. The Democrats have
already crashed and burned their own. 
Recorded in front of sold-out crowds over three
nights at Havana’s Mella Theater, in October
2010, “Live In Cuba” finds the Jazz At Lincoln
Center Orchestra performing Ellington standards,
Afro-Cuban numbers, and distinctly modern
compositions from the band members. The album
is a document of two nations’ indelible cultural
connections, of a journey into uncharted musical
territory, and of some of the world’s most virtuosic musicians sharing a stage.
Comments welcome at [email protected],
Letters to the Planet welcome at [email protected].
“Live In Cuba” is a 2-CD set. Disc 1: 2/3’s Adventure, Baa Baa Black Sheep, Inaki’s Decision,
Sunset and The Mockingbird, Como Fue, Dali,
At least Alabama wasn’t the first state red enough
to elect a pro-wrestler to public office. The thought
of the guy being VP scares me almost as much as
Sarah Palin.
#082715091615
VOLUME 13 ISSUE 12
Light Blue, Braggin’ In Brass. Disc 2: Limbo Jazz, Doin’ (Y)our Thing, I Left My Baby,
Bearden (The Block), Symphony In Riffs, Spring
Yaounde, Things To Come, The Sanctified Blues.
The music is great!
The Jazz At Lincoln Center Orchestra: Sherman
Irby, Ted Nash, Victor Goines, Walter Blanding,
Joe Temperley, Ryan Kisor, Marcus Printup, Kenny Rampton, Wynton Marsalis, Vincent Garnder,
Chris Crenshaw, Elliot Mason, Dan Nimmer, Carlos Henriquez, Ali Jackson.
The Jazz At Lincoln Center Orchestra Tour Musical Director: Carlos Henriquez.
Tour dates through September will be in places
around the country that include: Ohio, New York,
California, New Jersey, Texas, Missouri, New
Jersey, Oklahoma, New Mexico, Arizona, with
more being added.
The Jazz At Lincoln Center Orchestra with Wynton Marsalis did a magnificent job with this.As
you listen to “Live In Cuba”, it will make you feel
like you are right there sharing the experience. I
highly recommend it!
That’s it for this session of the Jazz Lounge. You
can always reach me at: [email protected].
THE VALLEY PLANET
Who am I? What is my Password?
by John Davis
ere’s a test to see what kind of voter you
are. Stay with me now. Be warned, because once your rage boils over, you don’t
want to be near pointy things that cause you physical harm, cause material damage to property, or
impact your fist into a wall.
H
Let’s say you are eligible for something. Ok, let’s
say something from the Federal or State government. Here’s how this test works:
Find the telephone number. Any agency will do.
Sounds easy. Try it. Is it online? Where? In the
phone book? What phone book? Ok, let’s say you
call about five places, and then you get to a number that sounds right. You call.
For grins, begin to count how many ‘options’ you
have. My favorite was eight options on one call
when I tried, as a retiree, to ask a question of my
financial agency. This is an agency of the Federal
government.
They are happy to work with you. Of course, you
don’t know who ‘they’ are, since you haven’t gotten to a human being yet. And you won’t. Part of
the Federal, or State, cost cutting measures you
voted for are the ones to get rid of the ‘wasted
overhead’ and ‘streamline’ government ‘services’,
right? You didn’t know you got rid of the people
who used to answer the phone.
Now you are ‘optioned’ hither and yon. By now
your temperature is warming. You get through to
no one. You are, in fact, referred by those who
are happy to help you to option after option. Isn’t
choice wonderful? By now you want to option a
scream-o-meter because you can’t stand the wait
or the merry chase. The wait music is stupefying,
fraught with tunes from musicians who must have
relatives in congress.
Oh yes, the wait. “Your estimated waiting time
is 43 minutes.” This is a real quotation. Oh, and
once you get on the phone with a human, before
they respond, they ask for a number given to you
years ago, which you don’t know, or know how
to find. You hang up, because this human is not
among those happy to be of service to you. If you
don’t have your ancient number, which you don’t
know or know how to find, they won’t deal with
you. 
You go in quest of your ID number. This is a complicated process. You get on your computer. God
help you if you don’t have one. Of course, this
also saves the government money because by this
time many eligible people have given up. 
Armed at last with this ID number, your reward
after you have given endless data to this otherwise
uncontactable agency, you think you are there.
But no. To get to this point you have to click ‘yes’
that you agree that giving your info to the agency
is not secure. To be sure, now you don’t have a
choice, so you click yes. 
Next you arrange to get a password, to go with
your ID, to go online, to get the number that you
need, to get to the agency you can’t contact otherwise.
Of course, getting through this process has been
my occupation for days. Once I got all of them
lined up, identification authorized, password validated, and targeted agency zeroed in on, I entered
the whole bag of cats online. Only to have them
time me out.
Undeterred, I tried again. And all my data disappeared. Disappeared? Oh, I’m referred to a Frequently Asked Question. (Why is this a frequent
question?) It gives guidance to rediscover your
ID and Password that disappeared in language an
MIT graduate would find daunting. You are asked
to evaluate this answer to your problem. You can
give only stars, no comments because as of yet
you are unworthy to write a comment. The collective rating is abysmal. So what! No human will
ever respond to this. You had the option to ‘star
rate’ the answer, which doesn’t help. Don’t you
feel lucky!
So, gentle reader, I haven’t gotten the info I
needed to begin with. Luckily, I don’t have to
beat a concrete wall into submission. What I’d
like to stomp are the politicians who are devilishly tricky. They don’t cancel popular, necessary,
and good government programs anymore. They
starve them of money. Eligible people are treated
as disease bearing rodents who are not worth talking to. They are sent on endless fools’ errands to
supply personal information which is unsecure,
unusable, and finally cancelled out.
Next time a politician says he wants to get rid
of waste in government, know he’s coming after
you. Vote the bums out who say this. That’s how
you know what kind of voter you are.
Chef Kelly & My List of
Nation-States Challenge
by Tom Colbey, Jr.
A
quarter-globe of places (odd cuisine in
all of them!) are never mentioned in the
USAverse unless they’re experiencing
famine, getting sanctioned, caning Westerners, or
a Peter Jackson mega-epic is released. My taste in
cuisine is the Geography Hangman of countries
where names of places scroll over five diagonal
inches of Gorilla Glass waiting for me to lightbulb the missing consonants and take a bite out of
some non-USAverse culture.
Ethiopia. Venezuela. Malaysia. New Zealand.
Blindfolded and shooting darts at a spinning
globe, after excluding ocean strikes (and bandaging dart tip-sized holes in the people I damaged),
I couldn’t make a country list anymore nonUSAverse random. Yet, Chef Kelly didn’t bat an
electronic eye before saying “No problem!” In
country-space well dosed in buffets, multi-names
for barbecue, pizza in twenty-three minutes, and
a McDonald’s on every corner, Chef Kelly’s making micron-fissures in the culinary continent of
status quo for a United Nations committee of oftignored national cuisines. She’s trimming the nation-state culinary extinction list.
Two decades of cooking and ingredients and recipes, teachers from Austria and France and Germany, amount to text book sheets of international
gourmet waiting for the perfect injection-moment
THE VALLEY PLANET
to cook or bake or sauté a nation’s worth of unforgettable. On menu, the math’s complete: Kinks
smoothed, a dish engineered to standard then repeat-looped to perfection. Off-menu, Kelly has
access to the memory catalogs of all those brain
text book sheets of nation-state awesome supporting her kitchen plays!
Today’s kitchen geography: Ethiopia. Venezuela.
Malaysia. New Zealand. Nation-states challenge
results: A treaty resolution of perfect language
and beautiful penmanship. Chef Kelly is always
garnishing. Beauty in every part of the process
means eating Picasso-on-plate. Ethiopian Lamb
& Spinach with lintel bean soup: Served with a
waft of cinnamon-sweet; natural, like I’d been
eating it my whole life (a land of such discord
creating such comfort). The Venezuelan Salad:
Guacamole-great from the land of democratically
elected dictators. Malaysian Banana Fritters: No
palate reference exists, but a requirement to eat
Malaysian fritters should be Alabama law! New
Zealand Lamb Chop: My tongue knew it was
Kelly’s signature dish immediately! International
festivities continued with more treaty-signers in
the form of Argentinian Chimichurri Steak, Peruvian purple potatoes (refracting deep wondergreen under groovy-wattage kitchen lights) and
Thai Curry Shrimp & Mussels. Chef Kelly pre-
#082715091615
**POP** Go the
Taste Buds! Suzy’s
by Jim Zieliński
W
ith the unremitting, Hadean heat of late,
the thought of popsicles of any stripe
- maybe even bathing in them - is irresistible. What, then, can one make of a purveyor
of GOURMET pops?
Make a beeline, that’s what…straight to historic
Lowe Mill.
Suzy G. Naumann, former SAIC Technical Writer
/Proposal Coordinator and possible relative, holes
up in an old genetics laboratory-cum-commercial
kitchen at the “Northwest” end of the repurposed
factory, offering chilly choices via a superfluity
of super Fruity, Creamy (w/Dairy), and Lushy (w/
Alcohol) options.
Building upon a base of Simple Syrup, Suzy
blends in fresh ingredients rolling in from
Falkville’s Champion Farms, Scott’s Orchard in
Hazel Green, J. Sparks Farms of Gurley, and their
ilk.
Flavors range from the milder Strawberry Cheesecake and Blackberry to the slightly intense Mango
Habanero to the much-in-demand Wormy Apple
Pops and Straight Up Strawberry. So which did
yours truly sample? Observe:
Peach-Basil: A lovely color with Basil essence
- the leaves are removed, natch - and the blush of
the “inner peach” venation. A very big seller; try
it and know why.
Banana Pudding: Just what you’d expect…Bananas, Vanilla Wafers, and a “non-egg Custard,”
commingled to recreate an all-time fave.
Kaffeeklatsch: To be specific, Ethiopian Harrar
on a stick. For those craving the safety of the
milked-down, sugary swirl of a preppy latte, seek
succor elsewhere. Java Junkies, Unite!
Chocolate-Sea Salt-Cayenne: Belgian Chocolate
is highlighted, but in no way overcome, by the
one-two punch of Salt/Cayenne (i.e. it’s neither
saline nor lava). Nor will you really note hints of
Cinnamon or Brown Sugar…just that toothsome
tang of true cocoa. It’s what Fudgsicles® wish
they could be.
Pear-Riesling: Fear not, for this mellow treat,
Suzy’s own favorite, is less alcoholic than Vanilla
Extract, despite the cognomen. If you’ve a cohort
who considers popsicles “beneath them,” this’ll
dull the edge of their haughtiness.
Cucumber-Lime: Not too tart, not too sweet, not
“pickle-y,” yet pulpy, making for an interesting
texture. Very refreshing, though a little heavier
than, for example, Pear-Riesling. Or maybe the
adverb is “oomphier”…?
Margarita: Lovingly TART. If you like sharp citrus, bypass everything and grab this, posthaste…
it’s probably my favorite. Recollect those endless
videos of waifs incising a lemon, making a sour
face and slinging said fruit, then immediately
snatching it back up and biting it again. You Want
This. A kiss of Triple Sec doesn’t hurt things one
bit, and the visual of a Lemon and Lime slice is
the sort of come-on with which aspic, candy, trifle,
and congealed salad makers have been enticing us
since the Tuesday before time immemorial.
Blackberry-Lemon Verbena: Contrary to urban
legend, Lemon Verbena never danced at The Bungalow. This one boasted a Blackberry bite though,
after the Margarita, proved comparatively tame.
Incidentally, you don’t taste lemony-berry, just
a full, fresh kick…I wanted even more. This delight was cold off the presses, and Suzy alluded
to it as an instance of her Here-and-Now MO:
“Blackberries are in…so this is when we should
eat them, right?” Ja!
Now, this catalogue merely encompasses the
types I engulfed…new creations will constantly
arise (along those lines, we discussed the possibility of a future, NON-VANILLA Chai), and
more await.
Consider the ever-popular “Suicide Snowcone”
of ballpark fame…similarly, Suzy’s six-flavor,
ROYGBIV-y Rainbow Pop is a surefire hit with
tots, tykes, tweens, teens, and those suffering
terminal Peter Pan Syndrome. For a touch of the
exotic, or maybe the audacious, munch Orange
Campari, Raspberry Hibiscus, or Ginger Lemongrass (did you catch that one, Thai Garden?).
The lighter pops needn’t be reserved for aftermeal follow-ups. A Peach-Basil or Watermelon
Rosemary could easily serve as a pre-course,
transportable Sorbet. You’ll be the cynosure of all
eyes, lapping it up as you enjoy, say, the Black
Maria Film and Video Festival or El Día de los
Muertos.
Suzy took up residence with the opening of
Lowe’s newest wing, but the erstwhile “Pop Culture” actually debuted in Summer 2011 at the
Greene Street Market at Church of the Nativity.
Small wonder she frequents marketplaces and
foodie events to this day.
Have freezer, will travel, and Suzy’s fare can
even be found at weddings. I fondly recall the
“Soup Bar” at the Mark Torstenson-Lucia Cape
reception. It’s very likely a Cherry Sauvignon
and Straight Up Strawberry oasis would likewise
make your nuptial celebrations even more festive
and unique. Contact Suzy, and she or one of her
six part-time worker bees will see you through.
Meanwhile, brave the sweltering mugginess and
pick up a pop.
Or two - one for your forehead!
Suzy’s Gourmet Market Ice Pops
Lowe Mill, Second Floor (Studio 2060),
North Wing
2211 Seminole Drive, SW
(256) 652-9910,www.suzyspops.com
Hours: Sunday – Tuesday, CLOSED
Hours: Wednesday – Thursday, Noon – 6:00 p.m.
Hours: Friday, Noon – 8:00 p.m.
Hours: Saturday, Noon – 6:00 p.m.
pares, cooks, and delivers to those
focused on good, healthy (and odd!)
food; some very fortunate families
call her at 256-694-4752 to schedule
their own challenges.
Driving Huntsville streets and seeing
fiestas of corporate logo presentations for national restaurant chains,
my mind-tongue starts seeking micron-fissures of fare-arcane; tough
to find in the culinary continent of
status quo.
I have a mission of eating odd food or
in odd places, or the power combo of
odd food in odd places. If you know
a place that fits: colbeyisthomas@
gmail.com.
Follow me on Twitter @colbey_jr
VOLUME 13 ISSUE 12
A Kaleidoscopic Flavor Profile, by Dustin Timbrook
15
right
at
home
with a Redstone Federal
Credit Union mortgage
®
Redstone Federal Credit Union offers
various mortgage loan products to fit your
life. Visit www.redfcu.org or call one of our
originators at 256-882-8500 today!
Must be RFCU® member to obtain loan. Mortgages are subject to credit approval. Equal Credit Opportunity Lender.
Restrictions apply. Contact us for more information.
your trusted advisor
800-234-1234 • www.redfcu.org
16
REAL-5052 MortgageFam_VP_Full_0615.indd 1
#082715091615
VOLUME 13 ISSUE 12
THE VALLEY PLANET
6/26/2015 4:18:59 PM

august 27 - september 16, 2015

Transcription

Similar documents

SING KARAOKE FROM THE JUKEBOX

CD-G KARAOKE WITH BLUETOOTH STREAMING

Karaoke System

“kings” and “queens” party

TEDYou at TEDActive 2012

KARAOKE FOR "WINDOWS.."

OCTOBER