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VOLUME 8 ISSUE 15
#102810111710
READ THE PLANET, IT’S FREE
WWW.VALLEYPLANET.COM
(256) 533 • 4613
OCTOBER 28 - NOVEMBER 17, 2010
IN THIS ISSUE:
Huntsville Halloween Party • The Rockettes • News of the Weird
Unchained Maladies • True BS • Auntie Jen’s Animal Crazy •
Relit: Smokin’ Good Reads Worth a ReKindle • The Krispy Kreme Challenge
The Greatest Calendars on Earth!
I
t’s finally here, the 8th Annual Best of the Valley Readers Poll. This is your chance to help us let the people of the Tennessee Valley, and those visiting
here, know what you think is the best we have to offer. Please let your voice be heard. All voting will be online this year! Go to www.valleyplanet.com
and let your votes count. Only one entry per email address will be counted so only vote one time. You can vote from now until December 31st, 2010.
The Best of the Valley Winners will be posted in the February 18th, 2011 issue! Remember, you don’t have to fill out everything, just fill out what you
want. But whatever you do, VOTE!
Voting is ONLINE ONLY!
ALL BALLOTS MUST BE RECEIVED BY DECEMBER 31, 2010!
EAT
Best Restaurant Overall:
Best Service (Restaurant):
Best Fine Dining:
Best New Restaurant (Opened 2009-2010):
Best Coffee House:
Best Breakfast:
Best Seafood:
Best Mexican:
Best Asian:
Best Italian:
Best International (Other Than Those Listed):
Best Pizza:
Best Cajun:
Best Steak:
Best Burger:
Best Wings:
Best Deli:
Best Desserts:
Best BBQ:
Best Home Cooking:
Best Lunch:
Best Sunday Brunch
Most Romantic
Best Chef In The Valley:
Best Hot Dog
Best Place to Pig Out
Best Sushi
Best Thai Restaurant
Best Vegetarian Restaurant
Best Indian Restaurant
Best Chinese Restaurant
Best Japanese Restaurant
Best Late-Nite Grub
Best Chips and Salsa
Best Health Food Market
Best Cakes/Cupcakes
2
SHOPPING
Best Special Occasion Restaurant
Best Restaurant for Kids
Best Bargain Restaurant
DRINK
Best Bar Overall:
Coolest Bar:
Best Patio:
Best New Bar Date (Opened 2009-2010):
Best Bartender:
Best Place For A Beer:
Best Place For A Margarita:
Best Place For A Shot:
Best Place For A Glass Of Wine:
Best Place For A Martini:
Best Sports Bar:
Best Place To Dance:
Best First-date Bar:
Best Happy Hour:
LOCAL
ENTERTAINMENT
& SPORTS
Best Place To Hear Live Music:
Best Place For Karaoke:
Best Band Overall:
Best Female Singer:
Best Male Singer:
(The Following Categories Can Be Votes
For Local Single Performers Or Groups)
Best Rock Artist(S)
Best Country Artist(S):
Best Blues Artist(S):
Best Jazz Artist(S):
Favorite Local Sports Team:
Best Bowling Alley:
#102810111710
VOLUME 8 ISSUE 15
Best Used Bookstore
Best Day Spa
Best Florist
Best Nursery
Best Place to Buy Antiques
Best Spa:
Best Gallery:
Best Gift Shop:
Best Wine Shop:
Best Place To Buy Musical Instruments:
Best Tattoo Shop:
Best Adult Store:
LIFE
Best Park
Best Yoga Studio
Best Golf
Best Place To Hike:
Best Reason To Live Here:
Best Publication In The Valley:
Best Reason To Read The Valley
Planet:
THE VALLEY PLANET
Letter from the
Publisher
In
The
Planet
rocktober 28 - november 17, 2010
NEXT ISSUE NOVEMBER 18, 2010
203 Grove Ave., Huntsville Al, 35801, phone 256.533-4613
THE VALLEY PLANET
VOLUME 8 ISSUE 15
#102810111710
Table of Contents
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Publisher
Jill Wood
Calendar
Joanie Williams
Lay-Out
Douglas A. Lange
Contributors
Matthew Pierce
Jessica Penot
Allison Gregg
Auntie Jen
Ricky Thomason
Tim Benton
Rick Walls
Aaron Hurd
Jackie Anderson
Bonnie Roberts
Jennifer Roberts
Elaine Nelson
Tina Leach
David Daniels
Terry French
Elaine Nelson
Scott Tankersley
Justin Markland
Shawn Bailey
2010 Best of the Valley Readers Poll
Letter to the Publisher
On the Cover
The Single-Guy: Communidate, Aaron Hurd
Party of One, Allison Gregg
True BS, Tim Benton
Krispy Kreme Challenge
The Way I See It, David Daniels
Dark Dark Dark, Justin Markland
Relit: Smokin’ Good Reads Worth a ReKindle, Rick Thomason
Rockettes!
Unemployed in Huntsville, Shawn Bailey
Unchained Maladies, Ricky Thomason
The Ghost of Cedarhurst Mansion, Jessica Penot
Auntie Jen’s Animal Crazy
Dr. Anarcho’s Rx For Old Stuff That Don’t Suck
Music Calendar Begins
More Music
Music Continues
Regional Calendar
Calendar of Events Begins
Events Continue
More Events
Adventures in the Tennessee Valley, Tina Leach
Events Continue
A Tendrilled Life: Environmental Haiku, Terri L. French
The Jazz Lounge, Jackie Anderson
Coffee Tree Books & Brew Songwriter’s Jam, Justin Markland
The Barn, Matthew Pierce
Free Will Astrology
What Then Must We Do?, Bonnie Roberts
News of the Weird
Classifieds
To Yuno From Yunohoo
I
t is that time of year again where we ask you
readers to vote in our 8th Annual Best of the Valley
Readers’ Poll! We want other locals, newcomers
and visitors to know what you think is the “Best” in
Food, Drinks, Sports, Entertainment and Shopping in
the Tennessee Valley. And of course, when the votes
are tallied, a lucky few will have “bragging rights” for
the next year.
Go to our website www.valleyplanet.com and click on
the banner on the right hand side of the page and make
your vote count. You can answer ALL the questions
or skip through and answer only the ones you have
an opinion about. Only one vote per person will be
counted.
We have added a few questions and deleted a few so
check it out! The choices offered in each question are
directly from votes received in last years poll but you
can always add your own choice if it is not listed! Let
the Voting begin!
Get your costumes ready and be sure to head out to our
annual Halloween Party on October 30 – it is going to
be a BLAST! www.HuntsvilleHalloweenParty.com.
“They told me that stain was gonna come
RIGHT OUT!” -- Dexter Morgan
Thank you for reading the fine print of the Valley Planet. The Valley Planet and valleyplanet.com are published every three weeks by J W Publications in Huntsville, AL. You can pick up the paper free all over the place
or get it free on the web. Copyright2003 by the Valley Planet, Inc. All
rights reserved. You can contact me at [email protected]
Reproduction or use without our permission is strictly prohibited. The
views and opinions expressed within these pages and on the web site are
not necessarily those of the Valley Planet or its staff. The Valley Planet is
not responsible for unsolicited manuscripts or art. Back issues are available for viewing on our web site www.valleyplanet.com in the archives
section. You may reach the Valley Planet office @ 256.533.4613 or by
mail at Valley Planet 203 Grove Ave. Huntsville, AL 35801.
Subscriptions to the Valley Planet are now available for $50 a year in the
USA.
256-533-4613 VALLEY PLANET
Valley Planet Writer’s Meeting at Humphrey’s Bar & Grill
On the Cover
Tommy Thompson, Oil Artist
F
ollowing in the footsteps of many other painters, Tommy Thompson was an architectural and commercial
illustrator for more than 30 years before advancing to painting oil landscapes in 2002. He now concentrates
on painting pastoral landscapes that include horses, figures, and architecture. His paintings are a blend of
realism and impressionism and evoke a sense of peace.
Thompson’s painting, “Painted Trail,” was accepted to Energen Corporation’s 2010 Art Exhibition. His
painting, Singing Over the Harpeth” was named part of the Favorite 15% in the December 2009 Fine Art Views
Art Competition. His work was accepted by Leu Art Gallery, Belmont University, Nashville, for their “Saving
Paradise” exhibition. The artist’s paintings have been featured in American Art Collector, Southwest Art, Horses
in Art, Hills and Hamlets, Greater Nashville House, Home, and Garden and other publications. He has been
invited to conduct solo exhibitions by several art associations.
PRINTED ON RECYCLED PAPER
THE VALLEY PLANET
Thompson has studied with some of the nation’s premier painters including Kevin Macpherson, Ken Auster,
Kenn Backhaus, Roger Dale Brown, Scott Christensen, Jeremy Doss, Ned Mueller, Michael Shane Neal, Jason
Saunders, and Dawn Whitelaw. The artist grew up near Starkville, MS and now lives in Florence, AL. Travels to
Arizona, Connecticut, Maine, Maryland, New Mexico, North Carolina, Rhode Island, Tennessee, Texas, Vermont,
and Wyoming, as well as Canada and Europe, have afforded the artist a wide array of subject matter. Thompson
says, “Painting is so much a part of my everyday life that it would be difficult to live without it.”
www.tommythompsonart.com
#102810111710
VOLUME 8 ISSUE 15
3
The Single Guy: Communidate
by Aaron Hurd
Dating is fun- why the insecurity??
few Issues ago, I wrote an article on how dating sucks because we put the added pressure on it and I got
a few emails debating and agreeing with me. I figured I would address these this time. And Next issue,
depending on emails, we will get back to the “Friend” question I discussed last issue (Confused yet?). Let’s
start with someone who disagreed:
A
Dear Aaron,
After reading your article on how dating sucks I totally disagree with you. Dating is part of getting to know
someone and should be fun. Sounds like you are being very closed minded! I have found that the older I get the
more fun it seems to be, because I know what I want more and have met some great guys because of it! Just
wanted to let you know that you of all people should know how fun it should be! You write a freaking article
on dating! Sincerely, a fun dater!
Wow thanks for calling me out! Dating is fun and I enjoy the company of a fine intelligent and beautiful woman.
However, I was doing the “Insecure dating” as I call it, when I wrote that article. I was dating JUST to be dating
and knowing first hand I was not the least bit interested in the women I was choosing to go out with. Since that
article, and in the conclusion of that article, I did mention I was taking timeout, changing my dating habits.
Pursuing the girls I REALLY wanted to pursue and not wasting my time or my date’s time by leading her on.
You’re right dating is fun and in the past I was picking the wrong girls. In fact, I got an email when I first started
this column by a woman who told me and I quote “You have colossally bad judgment about women” and in fact
I did (I am admitting guilt here- this is rare). I was dating girls who were younger, immature, who played games,
who were self absorbed, etc. Let’s be honest I WAS (and still am to some degree) all of those things as well. So,
it was bound for failure from day one. I am working on this though (work in progress). I am like the cheese-it
commercial, immature beyond belief when it comes to dating. However, the more I analyze myself and the more
I face reality, I think the maturity will come…I am aging like fine cheese haha! My ex, and now great friend, in
Cali used to tell me “You are so mature and together in life, but immature and lost in dating”, and she was right!
Don’t tell her I said that, I’ll never hear the end of “Told ya so”!
I have started dating again and am only dating the girls I feel a TRUE connection. It has been great! Once again
I am enjoying the company. I am trying not to over analyze, and to simply enjoy the time together. One girl I am
really feeling right now, is keeping me intrigued beyond belief. She is mature, witty as can be, sexy, has a life, yet
makes time to hang and she has been a true pleasure. The struggle is that I like her but I need to just enjoy the ride
and see where it goes instead of adding pressure by over analyzing! That is a habit that is hard to break when you
really start liking someone. I am pushing the “Do I put my eggs in one basket” question to the side. Not easy when
you’re feeling someone! Let’s be honest, we want to put ‘em all in one basket, right? Like this email:
I am recently divorced and can relate to your article on how dating sucks. It was fun at first, but I miss the
commitment of a relationship. There are so many frogs out there and not many princes! NO I am not stuck on
my ex! I am just a one man woman and when I really like someone it is so hard to keep myself dating “others”
and just enjoying it…how do you date when one person has your attention? That is my struggle! I don’t even
want to put myself out there in fear of being hurt!
It all goes back to that pressure of finding the one,
but you should be having fun while you are trying to
find that one. Once you have that special feeling for
someone then just enjoy it and see where it goes. I am
not saying be a playa and date all the 256- just keep
an open mind and stop the pressure of asking if he is a
“prince” or “frog” -you will know in time. That is what
I am trying to do now, have fun and see what happens
with this new interest. I know I like her, and need to
NOT focus on the “is she the one” but enjoy the time
together and let fate take its course.
I know…so much easier said than done! I will tell you
this-the more I just enjoy the moments the more fun I
have and I am much more open with my feelings and
honest with myself, which is rare for me. In the past,
this is where I would run and literally talk myself out
of even trying. I am simply getting to know her and
not letting any analyzing cloud my feelings. Now,
let’s see how long I can keep this up! I am enjoying
every challenging minute of it for sure! It’s Gotta be the
Scorpio in me-I have to blame something!
How’s your experience? Agree/Disagree/opinions/
thoughts/article
suggestions…email
me
at
[email protected]! Thanks for reading!
The Drum Circle invites
you to Sundays at
Big Spring Park in
Downtown Huntsville.
4
#102810111710
VOLUME 8 ISSUE 15
THE VALLEY PLANET
A Story of Hope
s I put fingers to keyboard on this deadline
eve, my eyes are glued to the television. My
heart is beating quickly, filled with anticipation
and hope. The rescue of the Chilean miners is pouring
across the news. Thirty some men have been trapped
half a mile below ground for two months and counting.
We’re now minutes away from when the capsule will
pull up the first survivor. I can barely breathe. The
breaths that do come out are filled with prayers. I’m
praying harder than
anything in recent
memory: more than
the White House
Fellowship,
more
than my safety during
a break-in, more than
two-for-one
sales,
disappearing a** fat,
money, love and all
the other important
things. For the next
24 hours, I will be
glued to this story.
A
Weeks ago, a prolific
dream came to me
one night.
While
standing at the bank counter, a woman next to me
whimpered, her pain evident in her hunched over pose.
She was dying and I was there to take her to the next
phase. As I propped her up, I asked her for advice on
life. Her response: Don’t miss a thing.
As I watch the smiling faces on the men trapped,
anxiously awaiting their rides to safety, I think about
the dream and its message and weave it into the 33 men
below ground. Theirs a story of teamwork, drama,
pain, but most of all it’s a story of hope thick with love
and undertones of desperation. It’s the reason I can’t
turn away. It’s the reason I don’t want to miss a thing.
By the time this writer’s deadline passes and you read
these words, we’ll know their fates. We’ll have seen
the photographs of the recovery and reunions. The
True BS
It’s not often that stories like this come along. Part of me is soaking in the lessons,
chewing it all up in my neurotic mind while putting myself in their spotlight. I’m
slightly insane and incredibly self-centered like that. Could I really survive 68 days
underground? My claustrophobia would get the best of me, that’s for sure. I’m not
likely to end up in that position anyhow, seeing as I’m not a fan of physical labor. But
still I imagine. Still I wonder if I’m missing a thing.
I quickly decide no. I’m not missing a thing. I’m just not appreciating any of it. Are any
of us? I mean don’t get me wrong, I appreciate a good drink, playing fetch, awesome
nights of sleep, Tina Fey, and Netflix Watch Instantly. The things beyond that are taken
for granted daily. Family, health, career; all that stuff gets forgotten, annoyed, becomes
bothersome. Not since 9/11/01 paused, holding their breath, crippled with fear of the
unknown. From that experience, we changed as a nation. We were friendlier, more
aware. If you
subscribe to
Alan Jackson’s way of thinking, the day
the world stopped turning sent your life
spinning in a new direction. Not a day
goes by that I don’t think of those men
and women who perished.
As I end this column, all miners and their
rescuers are safe on the surface. The
world wept as each man embraced and
held their loved ones. Now it’s up to us
to make sure we’re not missing a thing.
If we take time to cherish the things we’d
miss we won’t miss the lesson sent up
from half a mile below.
being a tanned Euro-stud named Sergio or Andreas, flashing a toned, sexy core on a Greek island, so I ordered it
without delay.
The Best Info You’ll Ever See
by Tim Benton
I
nsomnia has a side effect that I wasn’t aware
of until recently. An episode of sleeplessness
had me exploring the wacky world of late night
television. But I don’t mean late night as in Letterman
or Leno. I’m talking really late, as in those hours after
midnight and before sunrise, when it’s far better to be
unconscious than to turn on the TV and expose oneself
to that irresistible force of marketing known as the
infomercial.
The typical infomercial is thirty minutes of
uninterrupted marketing propaganda that leaves the
viewer convinced that his life is bereft of meaning and
purpose, a pitiful existence of misery that can only be
assuaged by the immediate purchase of the product
now being so glowingly extolled on screen.
Most infomercial products are from three categories—
kitchen utensils, fitness, and what I call “lifestyle
enhancement.” The kitchen utensil is invariably a set
of knives which we simply must have because they
will cut through a tomato in half a millisecond. We
know this because the presenter just used the knife
to saw through a slab of granite. So clearly, no fruit
or vegetable stands a chance. Count this product as
“must have.”
Fitness products invariably promise a “toned and
sexy core” and take the form of a “home gym” or a
device designed to “melt away the flab.” The home
gyms are dark and foreboding contraptions, looking
like something from the medieval days of the Tower
of London where they tortured enemies of the King,
hunchbacks from France, and fair maidens who
wouldn’t put out.
The “Contour Core Sculpting
System” has to be the top seller though, because this
device will produce that six-pack core with no effort
needed by the user. Strap it around your waist and
“sit there, watch TV, and get a workout!” We assume
this product works as advertised because it comes from
Europe. The Contour Core was designed by “Swiss
medical professionals” and has created incredible
bodies “from the coast of Spain to the sun-soaked
islands of Greece!” I’m like most men who dream of
THE VALLEY PLANET
story will be recorded and retold. But right now everything is unwritten. Right now
everything is possible. Right now we need to plan to not miss a thing.
But the unquestioned king of the late night infomercial comes from the lifestyle enhancement category. “Extenze”
is a pill which is touted as “the leader in male enhancement.” Over a billion of these pills have been sold
worldwide, we are told. The name itself is suggestive enough that they don’t bother to tell us specifically what will
be enhanced. But they do promise that Extenze will “increase a man’s energy and make him larger.” The active
ingredient isn’t revealed, but it’s probably the same as all other stimulant/energy/enhancement products available
without a prescription and sold on every convenience store counter in the country—a million milligram shot of
caffeine, the world’s favorite drug. Take enough of it and it’s sure to sharpen any mind and most pencils.
The Extenze spokespersons are a race driver named Kevin and a blonde bombshell named Bridgetta. The lady
is so excited about Kevin and his daily Extenze consumption that she asks for a “private autograph session.”
Normally I’d be skeptical of such lusty banter because she’s being paid to sell the product, but I decide to trust
Bridgetta anyway because she has a pretty face and a hot body.
So I’m beginning to like this product. But it gets even better. Bridgetta informs us that there is a “Woman’s
Extenze” which “increases a woman’s pleasure and desire to make love!” Guys will want this for their partners,
she says, because “it doesn’t do a guy much good to be larger and perform better if his partner doesn’t want to
make love very often.”
Now there’s an effective sales pitch, by God. You hear that, boys? When you call the sultry operators to order
Extenze, make sure you also order a freight car load of Women’s Extenze, or else you’ll be all goobered up with
no place to go.
An attractive fortyish lady clinches the deal, saying her husband is, “a wonderful lover, but I haven’t been in the
mood as much as he was. So he ordered Women’s Extenze for me and I remembered what I had been missing. I
feel so energetic and young again!”
Those were the words that caused me to pull it out. As soon as my credit card was out of the wallet, I was dialing
and ordering. Though her actual words were “feel young again,” my retrograde Neanderthal male brain heard
“insatiable sex kitten.”
Thanks to late night infomercials, my life is about to get extenzded. I will soon dominate tomatoes as never
before, as I slice with my new Kryptonite Turbo Kitchen Blade, powered by my toned, sexy core, newfound
energy, and the confidence that comes from being larger. All of this because I watched a little late night TV.
So the next time you have a sleepless night, turn on the tube and discover just how inadequate your own life really
is. But don’t worry, it’s fixable. Bridgetta wouldn’t lie.
email Tim at [email protected]
#102810111710
VOLUME 8 ISSUE 15
5
Krispy Kreme Challenge to Benefit
UCP Nov. 20
H
untsville’s 2nd annual Krispy Kreme Challenge
to Benefit UCP is Saturday, Nov. 20, 8 a.m. at
Blossomwood Elementary School (former East
Clinton Elementary School site), located at 200 White Street.
The Challenge: Run 2 miles from the start line in beautiful
downtown Huntsville to Krispy Kreme on North Memorial
Parkway; Eat 1 dozen doughnuts; Run 2 miles BACK to
the finish line...ALL IN ONE HOUR!
Not up to the Challenge? Join us for the Fun Mile,
sponsored by Booz Allen Hamilton, where participants
are invited to run, jog, walk or stroll and enjoy a few
doughnuts in support of UCP. The family-friendly Fun
Zone will also feature a Krispy Kreme doughnut dipping
station, moon bounce, face painting and much more!
All proceeds benefit UCP client services. Registration
is $20 for Challenge participants and $15 for Fun
Mile
participants.
Each
registered
participant
will receive a T-shirt. Register online at www.
ucphuntsville.org. Families and participants of all
abilities are welcomed and encouraged to participate.
Dark Dark Dark
by Justin Markland
For more information call 256-859-4900 or visit www.ucphuntsville.org and www.facebook.com/ucp.huntsville.
A
dimly lit room in an industrial
warehouse, a piano accented with
candles, a dance floor used as seating,
and Dark Dark Dark. Close your eyes, picture
the setting, now imagine an accordion breathing
in and out, a banjo being strummed softly, and a
ghostly quivering female voice hovering above
the music. Every band/musician has an ideal
setting, somewhere that their style of music
belongs and for Dark Dark Dark I think the
theater at the Flying Monkey Arts Center was
perfect. Even the timing was great, October,
perfect for a band with song titles like “Dig A
Grave,” “A Spell For Letting Go,” and “Junk
Bones;” I could just picture phantoms waltzing
across the dance floor. Every time I hear their
music now I picture it.
Relit: Smokin’
Good Reads
Worth a
ReKindle
by Rick Thomason
he Most They Ever Had, by Rick Bragg. It is no
surprise that Alabama’s Pulitzer Prize winning
author, Rick Bragg, has reached into the depths
of the soul of the south and pulled out another story, a
truth so personal that most could never see through the
lint to the cotton.
T
photo by Tim Piotrowski
When I first saw the band name Dark Dark Dark on the concert calendar I was almost certain I would enjoy the
music. I got on their website, gave them a listen, and knew I had to see them live. At first all I noticed was
the female vocals, they sounded very much like a blend of Cat Power and Fiona Apple. Once I got over that
excitement I started hearing the rest of the music, male vocals and harmonies, accordion, piano, banjo, cello all
of which sounded so good together. Now all that was left was to see how they were live. Their stage presence
was awkwardly dry but pulled off in a sort of comical way. The performance was amazing, but I do have one
complaint; when they asked the audience if they had any requests, someone suggested they play “Junk Bones,”
but instead of playing it they kind of shrugged it off with an excuse that the drummer didn’t know the song. It
was disappointing for two reasons: 1. In my opinion it is their best song and 2. Don’t ask for requests if you aren’t
actually going to play them. If the drummer doesn’t know the song, leave the drums out, or better yet, make
everyone learn the songs before you perform.
TMTEH is the Story of Bragg’s family’s near rise to a
chance to climb out of the man-eating black hole that
was the heyday of North Alabama’s cotton mills. The
mills of which he writes were at one time an integral
part of North Alabama, taking advantage and dangling
wispy hopes of a better life. One only has to look at
Lowe Mill, and walk through its huge emptiness to feel
the ghosts of the used and abused people who toiled
there, making just enough to keep the family a small
notch above sharecrop farming on worn out land.
I think I have now seen a show at every venue inside of Lowe Mill and they all have been well suited to the
performers. The Flying Monkey Theater was pretty large and definitely could have held a much larger audience
than what turned out. The prices vary from show to show, I’ve never seen one more than $10 (and the Dark
Dark Dark show was only $5). Of course, as with everything at Lowe Mill it is B.Y.O.B so don’t forget that
before heading out the door. On a side note and as praise to an audience member, the opening act, Shotgun Party,
(amazing band, worthy of a full article on their own) asked where they could get a beer, with almost no hesitation
someone from the audience jumped up and placed a Pabst Blue Ribbon at each of the band member’s feet. That’s
why I love Huntsville.
The Way I See It
Album: Passion, Pain, Pleasure
Artist: Trey Songz
hile the words Passion, Pain and Pleasure
immediately invoke sexual thoughts, for me
they have become somewhat of a personal
mantra because they so accurately describe this time in
my life,” says Trey Songz. “The passion I have for my
art fuels my drive and work ethic, while the sacrifice
of my personal life to benefit my career will always
be a source of pain. The pleasure that I derive from
my work and my accomplishments make everything
worth it. When I began conceptualizing the new album,
these three words stuck in my head. They completely
infiltrated my creative process, so it was inevitable
that they became the album title.” ‘PASSION, PAIN
& PLEASURE’ is Songz’ highly anticipated followup to 2009s gold album, ‘READY.’ From the bouncy
first single, ‘Bottoms Up (Feat. Nicki Minaj)’ to the
driving, rock-infused ‘Blind,’ the new album sees the
Virginia-based R&B superstar energized and evolving
as he continues to refine his mastery of sultry, soulful
song-craft. ‘This album is a step closer to me recording
without inhibitions,’ says Songz. ‘It embodies the best
W
2010 Talent Quest National
Champion Male Pop Karaoke
and Overall Male winner:
Huntsville’s Own
Raymond Gladney
6
The sad, anger proving thing about it all was the stick
and carrot dangle of false hope for the people who, with
every breath of lint-filled air, traded years of their lives
for a chance at better for their family. parts of ‘READY’ with the heart of ‘ANTICIPATION’
and the originality of ‘I GOTTA MAKE IT.’’ As
always, Trey displays effortless vocal dexterity while
simultaneously relaying complex emotional depth and
power. The throbbing, minimalist ‘Can’t Be Friends’
and the classic R&B romance of ‘Please Return My
Call’ reveal reflective and introspective themes of love
and human relations, stressing the sensual above the
overtly sexual. ‘I’ve had three albums before this, but
only one was really a hit,’ he says. ‘This album will
show that I’m not going anywhere’. The Way I See It,
his mission was accomplished.
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Mill owners knew the knife’s edge on which they kept
the workers: enough to buy a bottle, fuel that propelled
them to take their frustrations out on their families. Like all of the gifted Bragg’s previous books, this
one will make you laugh, cry, and identify with the
cold, dehumanizing demise of one industrial age as
it morphed into another and left big empty buildings
and bigger empty places in the lives and hearts of those
who almost made it and suffered through the best they
ever had it, which wasn’t too damned good. With today’s greed-fueled crashing economy, those of
us left behind in industrial and technological change
can identify so much with Bragg’s story as to scare
the hell out of us. We too have come to work one day
thinking everything is okay and arrived the next to find
the gates closed forever with padlocks and log chain.
Bragg has that gift, the ability to make prose read like
poetry and sing like angels destined for inevitable falls
that define the human condition. It’s a thin book that is huge, one you’ll never forget.
VOLUME 8 ISSUE 15
THE VALLEY PLANET
This Christmas, Get your Kicks
at the Radio City Christmas
Spectacular!
by Diana LaChance
T
he leaves are turning, the temperatures are dropping, and there’s a crisp
breeze in the air, which can only mean one thing: Fall is here! But before
you can say “trick or treat,” stores are already pulling their Halloween
merchandise off the shelves and replacing it with Christmas decorations and
holiday paraphernalia. It’s all part of the inevitable commercialism that tends
to precede Christmas earlier and earlier each year.
But some of us out here still enjoy the less materialistic, more traditional aspects of the holiday season –cooking
from recipes passed down through the generations, setting out milk and cookies for Santa, and revisiting Christmas
classics of the stage, like the Nutcracker, A Christmas Carol, and the Radio City Christmas Spectacular, a
production that has brought the magic of Christmas – and the glamour of the Rockettes! – to audiences of all ages
for over 80 years.
Of course, given the economy these days, a trip to New York City to catch the world-famous Rockettes in action
isn’t in everyone’s budget. But a trip to Nashville probably is, and for the ninth season, the Music City will
host the Rockettes’ Radio City Christmas Spectacular
at the newly re-opened Grand Ole Opry House.
Starting November 19th and running through December
24th as part of the Gaylord Opryland Resort’s
A Country Christmas event, the show will feature all
of the crowd-pleasing highlights
of the New York staple, from high kicks and dazzling
costumes to such nostalgic
family favorites as “The Parade of the Wooden Soldiers”
and “The Living Nativity.”
I recently sat down with two Rockettes, Laura Danelski and
inside scoop on what it takes to join this legendary sisterhood
answer is training. “We are known for our precision,” says
our whole lives – in tap, jazz, ballet – to do this.” But there
qualifications that can’t be overlooked. “All the girls are between
height,” says Laura. “They must also be at least 18 years old by the
Naturally, that leads me to wonder how old the oldest Rockette is,
girls say is the one they get asked most frequently. But when Laura
with “19,” I’m pretty sure I’m not getting a straight answer!
Most people tend to associate the Rockettes with either the
Day Parade or Radio City Music Hall; however, they actually
Over the past few months, the Rockettes have made appearances on
Dancing with the Stars and at the Life Ball in Vienna, Austria. And as
the 200 girls who make up the Rockettes will be divided between the
show, and an arena tour that visits different cities across the US.
Alina Williams, to get the
of performers. The short
Alina. “We’ve trained
are
some
other
5’6” and 5’10½” in
start of rehearsals.”
a question that the
responds laughingly
Macy’s Thanksgiving
perform year-round.
the Ellen show and
the holiday season gears up,
New York show, the Nashville
“What about time off?” I ask, wondering how there could be any time
left after listening to Laura and
Alina discuss their hectic schedules. It turns out all of the Rockettes are
in a union and receive benefits
as part of their employment. This includes down days, which many
of the girls spend working at
other part-time jobs in the familiar world of dance. “Some of us teach
dance, some judge dance
competitions, some perform on Broadway,” says Alina. But for all of
the girls, “being a Rockette
is our number one priority,” says Laura, a statement Alina agrees
with whole-heartedly. “It’s a
huge honor,” she says. “We want to uphold the image of the Rockettes as classy, talented, beautiful women.”
Now, with the start of the Nashville show just a few weeks away, the Rockettes are in the midst of intense
rehearsals to master the numerous costume changes, the precise timing of their famous kick line, and the elaborate
dance numbers, including a 7+ minute tap routine. “Our job is to look as perfect as possible,” says Laura, “but
we also want to put our own personality and flair into the numbers.” That may sound counterintuitive for a group
that’s made its name on precision, teamwork, and collaboration, but it turns out it’s the secret of the Rockettes’
success. “We are dancing as a unit,” says Laura, “but kicking as individuals.”
And speaking of individuals, it remains to be seen whether Laura or Alina will be two of the 20 Rockettes selected
to perform in the Nashville show. But one thing is for
certain. Thanks to the Radio City Christmas Spectacular,
the classic Christmas traditions of yesteryear will continue
to entertain new generations for years to come. And these
traditions, in turn, will serve to remind both the young
and the young at heart what the holiday season is really
about: creating and cherishing family memories.
Photos courtesy
Entertainment.
of
Madison
Square
Garden
A perfect day for “Saturday on the Square” in Downtown Huntsville
brought out hundreds of shoppers, artists, and their dogs!
THE VALLEY PLANET
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VOLUME 8 ISSUE 15
7
Unchained Maladies
Unemployed in
Huntsville
by Ricky Thomason
O
nce in a while, the planets align and simple solutions to complicated problems reveal
themselves, gifts wrapped in brief moments of clarity, small, elusive glimpses into
the great and secret world of Karmic justice. You know – that place where what
goes around comes around – all the way around – and bites someone right in the Sketcherssculpted, McSuper-sized, gluteus maximus.
by Shawn Bailey
I have been unemployed in Huntsville, AL since
May 12, 2010. These notes are taken directly from
my personal journal. If you’re confused about
something I’ve said, go to valleyplanet.com and check
the archives.
This phenomena is known by numerous names, “poetic justice,” is one, but the concept as a
whole became the working name of my work in progress, an admitted rip-off / send up of the
huge group huggy, let’s all feel goody, Paul Harvey-esque series of books called “Chicken
Soup for The WhomevertheHellos Soul.”
So long as it brought lumps to throats and leaks to eyes, it was fool’s gold.
artwork by Debbie West
I worked with a once writer friend on the concepts of a couple of those books, suggestions to the CSFTS people for “can’t miss”
books were submitted. Danged if we weren’t about a week late with “Chicken Soup for The Veterans Soul,” and a couple of
others. They too were just cosmic seconds behind someone else’s checkered flag winning entries “already in progress.”
Call it a stupid tax.
The original short attention-span kid morphed into a deeply focused suspicious adult. It didn’t take long to spew-over with all
things cute, warm, and fuzzy. Fuzzy was sick. It became furry or nothing and my CSFTS concept took a dark, bent.
My work-in-progress, “Just Desserts -- When The Soul’s Chicken Soup Turns To Chicken S***,” true stories of people getting
what they richly deserved.
Sick pup that I am, something about that is funny.
An example: at a facility at which I was a peon, we had a plant manager, a friend, former marine, a man deserving in every
respect for his service in Vietnam -- Semper Fi to a fault -- in peacetime.
Problem was, there was no peacetime for him when competition was involved. That’s a highly desirable trait among warriors,
one that I respected / appreciated, even as I laughed at the dichotomy of an “honor at all costs / never-lose” philosophy of life.
Somehow – no one else was available -- I was invited to participate as a corporate – sponsored entrant into a charity golf “twoperson scramble” tournament. That means a pair hits off the tee, and then takes the best ball from there to the hole, both hitting
from the same place. Bad shots aren’t penalized so badly, in effect, “brother-in-law” golf. I was one of four people from our
company entered in the $200-per- pair event.
I freely admit I was a slut. I got a paid day off to play golf with a chance to win high-dollar prizes in “flights,” a handicapping
system, eat free food and geedunk, slurp free soda, and imbibe unlimited beers delivered by nubile young things so scantily
clad as to be chilly on an August afternoon in Alabama.
Nice work if you can get it -- for me, I mean. I’m sure they hated it. Maybe it was a small break from the Hooter’s gig, at least
a mobile one.
Being for charity, such events often offer participants chances to buy “Mulligans,” or “do overs,” usually at five bucks each,
shots that do not count. Never happened, “Danny O’ Mulligan hit that one.” It’s basically a 2 for 1 stroke trade if you do better
the second shot – maybe more. Tournament rules stated that Mulligans could be taken on any shot – off the tee, fairway, putt,
whatever.
The plant manager decreed that all four members of our teams would buy one Mulligan. Furthermore, the Mulligan could
only be taken off the tee – his weak point. He also took the better golfer as his partner, leaving another dummy to contend with
Klutz Cargo - me.
Long story short: on the 17th hole, plant manager was the only remaining player left with his Mulligan. Our teams were tied.
After his partner hit an OB shot 100 yards to the left, through Mrs. Mitchell’s henhouse into a cow pasture, PM hit his second
shot which bounced off a sprinkler head, sailed over the green and trickled into a pond where the ducks wondered who the hell
was throwing eggs at them again.
“Mulligan,” he declared against his own rule, in the face of our loud, mirthful protests, he stiffed it next to the pin. They should
have been at least a shot down, but went a shot up.
They beat us by one stroke. He was even tacky enough to gloat – until the scores were tallied. They beat us – beat us just enough
to place last in the first flight, winning nothing. We dropped back to first in the second flight and won several hundred dollars
worth of prizes each.
Got the idea? Send your “Just Desserts” stories to me. You’ll get recognized and compensated, minimally of course, if your
entry makes it into the collection. ([email protected])
I
hate applications. Any applications. Doctors’
offices. Dentists’ offices. Food Stamp office.
Medicaid. I hate the paper, the clip boards, and the
small piece of string holding the pen to the clipboard.
I am confident that when you die, if you’re evil, you
don’t get to just waltz right into Hell. No, there will be
applications. Thousands of them. And just like in real
life, they will all ask for the same things.
Nothing takes up an unemployed person’s time more
than this. For those you can’t fill out on line, you
have to drive to all the locations to get them, fill them
out there, and then return later if there’s not a hiring
manager present. And online, everybody’s got their
very own little proprietary application. Makes their
life easy, and the job seeker’s life hell.
20 minutes for a hardcopy. 20-30 minutes for online.
Add a cover letter? 15 minutes at least. But it’s the
same information. Over and over again. Time after
time. My name is still Shawn. My number is the same.
My address is still the same. My job history is still the
same. SAME. SAME. SAME.
To make it worse, as a software developer, my job
(sometimes) is to take useless repetition out and make
a process smooth and efficient. This production line
process, this repetitive, useless, monotony of filling
out the same information over and over goes against
my very being. It is the epitome of bureaucracy at its
absolute worst.
People need one application. That’s it. Any prospective
employer, doctor, dentist, agency, whoever – can use
this app. Done!
I know what you’re thinking. Monster.com. But this
doesn’t cover the doctor, or the hardcopies, and most of
the time there are still special instructions or links from
Monster to the company’s site where you have to fill
out more of the same crap.
And a cover letter? Why? Let’s see:
Personalizes your resume – Really? I’m supposed
to address this letter to a specific person. How about
the head hunter I’m sending it to? You know, the
anonymous person the big companies hire because they
don’t want to take the time to talk to more anonymous
people, face to face. What’s personal about that?
Shows you’ve done your homework on the company
– Sounds good. With all the free time I have in between
filling out repetitive applications, I’ll just write a
f**king thesis on the history of the company. Who
gives a sh*t? If your company employs 5000 people
and covers every industry known to man on every
continent, how do I research that? Just give me my
nine square feet of carpet where I’ll live until the next
layoff.
Highlight relevant qualifications – In the resume.
Spotlight your achievements – In the resume.
Explain why you want to work for the company – I
don’t know of that many companies whose reputation
is so amazingly stellar that they draw workers like flies
to honey. Some, but not many. I’m unemployed. I
need a paycheck. That’s it.
YOUR AD COULD
BE HERE FOR AS LITTLE
AS $63.75 PER ISSUE
One book even admitted that cover letters were
repetitive, but went on to say it ‘reinforced’ your skills.
No. It’s just repetitive. Like applications.
Signed Unemployed in Huntsville
so...why isn’t it??
8
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VOLUME 8 ISSUE 15
THE VALLEY PLANET
his article is the first part in an in-depth series
dedicated to “the Muttlies.” There’s Winston
and Liberty—two highly intelligent, loyal, and
well-traveled Malinois, one of the four kinds of Belgian
Shepherds. And then there’s Glory—their cheeky little
Sheltie sister.
T
AJ: Based on your experience, how much exercise
per day would you say Malinois require, on
average?
Over a couple of lovely brunches, their humans (referred
to herein as Térèse and Bubba K) gave me an exclusive
juicy scoop on their three hairy kids—everything
from their lifestyle requirements to their dirty laundry.
AJ: Winston, you have a diverse array of nicknames
you acquired in Alaska. “Houdini,” a tribute to
your clever, escape-artist days; and “Love Hound,”
a timeless nickname that describes the core of your
personality. Now tell me about “Bubba K” and
“Bubba Dub.”
Winston: “Liberty and Glory and I have all had
different nicknames at various stages in our lives. I
told my dad that if we were gonna be livin’ in the South,
then he had to come up with some nicknames that are
appropriate to the South. So I became Bubba Dub, you
know, short for Bubba W! And Kevin’s my dad, so
naturally he became Bubba K. When we all lived in
Prattville, aka ‘Fountain City,’ my dad used to make his
own hot sauce—Bubba K’s Fountain City Fire!”
AJ: Now, Liberty—Tell me about this monkeysee-monkey-do relationship you and your brother
Winston have?
Térèse: “Liberty, you wanna answer that one?”
Liberty: “My brother is cool, and what he does is
cool. Before my humans adopted me, I’d been kept
in a kennel or a crate my entire life and had been
taken to shows. I was Ms. Business, all business.
I’m still in charge of Winston; however, it seemed to
me like he has more fun. So I started copying him.”
Térèse: “Winston’s a tail-wagger, as you know. He’s
always very expressive. You can tell he’s thinking.
It’s in his eyes, the way his ears go back or up. He
does have a smile, and a grin—he is Mr. Personality!
The first time Liberty wagged her tail was a year
after she was with us. She did not understand the
concept of play. Kevin would get on the floor with
Winston and rassle like guys do. And Winston loved
it. He’d just roll over and be like, ‘You win. You
can scratch my belly now.’ When the two guys did
that together, Liberty just stood over to the side and
looked at them like ‘What the heck?’ Every now and
then she’d bark at them like, ‘You’re messin’ with my
brother!’ She had no clue what was going on. But
today, almost nine years later, she plays like that.”
Bubba K: “Winston was very submissive, and Liberty
was the alpha of the litter. We decided to bring Winston
home, get him accustomed to the house and let him
know this is home and everything’s ok here, ‘cause
the minute Liberty walks through the door she’s gonna
beat the snot out of him—which she did…Over time,
what we’ve observed is that she’s gotten more playful,
and Winston’s gotten more assertive. It appears to
be an energy balance between the two of them.”
Bubba K: “Two hours, minimum. That would be two
one-hour sessions…With this breed, it’s usually not a
matter of them getting overweight but that they lose
weight because of their energy level. They’re as active
as you want them to be. If you’re not gonna exercise
them, you’ve got the wrong breed.”
Térèse: “If you want a sofa hound, they’ll do it, and they
do in the evenings when we’re watching the news…
However, they don’t sit around and watch soaps and eat
bonbons all day…They play ‘dog fishing’ and ‘tennis
baseball’ (both Muttlie sports to be defined in the next
issue), but that’s not the same as walking on the lead.
So there’s playtime, which does count as exercise—but
there’s also time on the lead, basically cruising the
neighbourhood. So, forty to forty-five minutes in the
morning, perhaps on a jog with me, at least five days a
week. Also, while I’m working in the yard or garden,
they’re out running around—in the yard. Liberty has
engaged in cat-and-mouse exercise with Glory. Glory
is the ‘Instigator.’ [Liberty and Glory’s shenanigans]
will go on for hours.”
AJ: Glory, why is it so important to salute for treats,
and why is it so important to say grace before you eat?
Drowning Pool will be at Crossroads in Huntsville on Tuesday, November 9th. The
show is for ages 19+ and tickets are $15 in advance and $18 at the door. This group
is from Dallas, Texas and their genre is metal/rock/southern rock. Go to
www.drowningpool.com and check them out!
Glory: “I’m the new kid to the block, as you know. I
salute because my big sister and brother do it. If they
do it, it must be right. Even if they do things that I don’t
know are right, I do them because I’m a copycat. Grace
before meals? Well, I was born in the South. There are
churches everywhere here. So it’s more like a revival
thing. And mom says we needed to learn patience and
not devour our food in front of each other, or snitch, so we
say grace. We don’t eat until we hear the word amen.”
Térèse: “It could be interpreted as a religious type
of thing, but it’s more about discipline. Also, if
something falls on the floor that’s dangerous—like
a bone or a piece of onion—it’s ‘leave it.’ It’s more
for their own safety. They’re working on ‘leave
it,’ but they know what ‘clean up’ means, too. If
I drop something in the kitchen that’s fair game,
then all I have to do is say those words, and they’ll
find it and snarf it. They especially love broccoli.”
To see videos of Winston, Liberty and Glory
saluting, saying grace, sharing an apple, and
engaging in canine tomfoolery, check out my
YouTube channel (www.youtube.com/jennimuse).
Send your ideas to me at [email protected].
And don’t forget to pick up the next edition of Valley
Planet for all the good dirt on the Muttlies!
photo by Eddie Malkuk
The Ghost of Cedarhurst Mansion
him to fix her tombstone. She said it had been
knocked over in the storm. When the boy awoke, he
told his family about his nocturnal visitor. Of course
everyone laughed at him, but when they went out with
him to fix the stone; they found it had been knocked
over by the storm. The boy had indeed been visited
by Ms. Carter’s ghost. Since that time, the Sally’s
grave has been moved from behind Cedarhurst.
C
edarhurst Mansion in Huntsville Alabama is home to one of the most famous hauntings in Alabama.
The mansion itself is hidden now. It is the club house of a gated community and only those that
live in the community can enter, but the old ghost stories linger. They are legend. Whenever I
talk about ghost stories in Alabama, someone always asks me if I have heard about this sad, lonely ghost.
Her story is unforgettable and people always think of this ghost when they think of Huntsville ghosts.
Cedarhurst Mansion was built by Stephen Ewing in 1823. Since that time it has passed from owner to owner
fairly regularly. Ironically, it isn’t someone who lived in this house that haunts it. Sally Carter was just visiting
Cedarhurst Mansion in 1837. She loved the mansion and was very happy to visit it. She was having a pleasant
stay with her family at Cedarhurst when she became quite ill. Sadly, 16 year old Sally died on November 28,
1837 of this illness. She died while she was at the mansion and she hasn’t left it since.
Ever since Sally’s death, the stories of her ghost have been as thick as kudzu. The most famous story was
told by a 17 year old boy visiting the house in 1919. During this boy’s stay at the mansion, a terrible storm
was brewing outside. The boy claimed that while he slept, he was visited by Sally. She came to him and asked
THE VALLEY PLANET
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Another story I heard about Sally Carter’s ghost was
told by an anonymous woman who says her childhood
friend used to live in Cedarhurst Mansion when she
was a girl. She was lucky enough to spend the night in
the house with her friend and she describes seeing Sally
standing above her while she was sleeping. There
are numerous stories like this about Sally. Some have
even reported seeing her walking outside the mansion. Sally is still active; she’s just more hidden now. But her
story lives on.
VOLUME 8 ISSUE 15
9
Wrong. Women dress for other women. It’s mean
business, much less for approval than for “Gotcha, hate
me b*tch, I look better than you do and you know it,
and more importantly, so does your man.”
ather ‘round children. Today’s lesson is on the development of “Fuzz” tone sound of electric guitar. I
know most of you are too young to remember the days before / without it – I almost am – but once upon a
time there wasn’t much deviation in the sound of electric guitars, much like the acoustic guitars of today.
Naturally, the sounds differ between cheap and pricey, but each guitar – even the exact same high-end model – has
its own personality and action.
G
This is something not so apparent to the casual listener. Other guitar players notice immediately. The competition
among / between musicians is called “cuttin’ heads,” which made half of you just think of the “Crossroads” movie
with Ralph Macchio miscast beyond comical into ridiculous.
Playing guitar is more closely akin to women dressing up for an evening out than most people realize. You play
and sing for the few people who appreciate your prowess with the instrument. Men, stupid bovines that most of us
are, think women dress to please us.
Advances or changes in musical instruments and
sound are often the result of equipment malfunctions.
Something may sound like hell, but the show must go
on, otherwise, you don’t get paid. More club owners are
looking to screw the band than groupies. Settling up at
nights end still occasionally involves the use of a gun,
and it used to be common, much more common. Thus,
any excuses, especially unfinished shows, were more
than adequate reason for club owners to balk, reduce
the amount the band was paid, and preferably stiff them
completely.
So what if a vacuum tube in an amp fried? If it still
made racket the show went on. The difference in paid
and not-paid is often the difference whether the bus
gets fixed, gas money for the drive to the next gig and
you eat crackers and ketchup – again – or go hungry.
Hendrix later refined, defined and elevated feedback to
immortality.
Meanwhile, Kinks’ guitarist Dave Davies later created
the fuzz sound for himself. Wanting a “meaner, fuller”
and more distorted guitar sound for their recordings,
Davies slashed the speakers in one of his amps. Out
popped the guitar sound for “You really Got Me,” All
Day and All of the Night,” among others.
In 1965, in response for increased demand for the
fuzz sound, Gibson Guitars introduced the Maestro
Fuzzbox which saw its early big success when it
was used on the Rolling Stones “I Can’t Get No
Satisfaction.” The rest is rock history.
For the curious guitarist and real music-philes, I suggest
you re-examine the songs mentioned above in the light
from which they first shone.
Play on.
According to Rhino presents: the Greatest Rock &
Roll Stories by Art Fein, the self proclaimed “Most
Outrageous, Magical and Scandalous Events In The
History Of Rock & Roll,” failures set the future.
Guitarist Paul Burlison, playing with the Memphis
based Burnett Trio, helped play the brothers to win
in “Ted Mack’s Amateur Hour,” – the dinosaur
ancestor of American Idol. The prize was a recording
session.
In the midst of the session, Burlison’s amp dislodged
a tube causing it to take on an ugly, fuzzy tone. Band
leader Johnny Burnette said, “Leave it that way,” and
the result was a distorted guitar line running through
the entirety of “Train Kept a Rollin.”
The “fuzz” caught on and as a result, guitarists
everywhere copied the sound in various ways.
Jeff Beck, who replaced Eric Clapton in the Yardbirds, a
pioneer of many new sounds himself, included by some
accounts “feedback,” in “Shapes of Things. In 1966,
Beck introduced the band to “Train Kept a Rollin,”
which was recorded during a tour of America. Jimi
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1970s Maestro Fuzz Phazzer
THE VALLEY PLANET
Thursday, October 28
3RD BASE GRILL (SOUTH PARKWAY), Marge
Loveday
BANDITO SOUTHSIDE, Dave Anderson
BLACK WATER HATTIE’S, Live Wire
CLUB RUSH, DJ Rosco/Karaoke
COCKTAILS, Planet 3
CROSSROADS, Shooter Jennings and Heirophant
DAILY BREW (DECATUR), Open Mic Night
FINNEGAN’S PUB, Slip Jig
FURNITURE FACTORY, Open Mic Night
GENO’S PUB (DECATUR), Karaoke
GLASS’S COCKTAILS & GRILL (DECATUR), Chad
Reeves
HALF TIME BAR & GRILL, Karaoke
HARD DOCK CAFE (DECATUR), Donnie Cox
HOG WILD SALOON, Karaoke w/ David
HOPPER’S, DJ Lil’ Ed
HUMPHREY’S BAR &GRILL, Lance Almon Smith
KAFFEEKLATSCH @ NIGHT, Dave Anderson
KNIGHT MOVES, Talent Quest Karaoke
KNUCKLEHEADS, Bike Night/ Live Music
LEE ANN’S, LaRose
MARIA BONITA GRILL AND CANTINA (DECATUR),
Karaoke with DJ Pollard
MOODY MONDAYS, Open Mic Night
PARTNER’S BAR & GRILL, Karaoke w/Sweet T
SAMMY T’S MUSIC HALL, Within Reason w/ DJ
Keibot
SANDY’S ROADHOUSE (GUNTERSVILLE), Karaoke
SPORTS PAGE, 5ive O’clock Charlie
SPORTS VISION, Open Jazz Jam Session
THE BRICK (DECATUR), Roosevelt Franklin
(Acoustical)
THE DOCKS (SCOTTSBORO), Trey Browder
THE STATION, The Breakers
THE STATION 2, Ladies Night with DJ
VIEUX CARRE, Talent Show/ DJ
VILLAGE PIZZA (DOWNTOWN ATHENS), Barry Kay
VOODOO LOUNGE BAR & GRILL, Open Mic Night
Friday, October 29
11TH FRAME BAR, Karaoke
801 FRANKLIN (See ad pg.15), Melody Guy
BANDITO SOUTHSIDE, Bourbon and Shamrock
BENCHWARMER, Karaoke
BENCHWARMER TOO, DJ Party
BIG COVE BBQ, Open Mic Night
BLACK WATER HATTIE’S, Munkey’s Unkel
CARSON’S, Tyler Steinfath
CASA MONTEGO, Reggae & More with DJ Frankie I
and II
CLUB RUSH, DJs Don-E and Danny C/ Karaoke
COFFEETREE BOOKS & BREW (See ad pg.10),
Aaron and Kaylie
COPPERTOP, LaGrange
CROSSROADS, Live Music
DAILY BREW (DECATUR), Ken Waters
EL HERRADURA, Edgar
ELK’S LODGE, Karaoke
FINNEGAN’S PUB, Sing Along with Nancy
FURNITURE FACTORY, Crush
GLASS’S COCKTAILS & GRILL (DECATUR), Stiff
HARD DOCK CAFE (DECATUR), Kozmic Mama
HOG WILD SALOON, Backwater
HOPPER’S, Peter and the Wolf
HUMPHREY’S BAR &GRILL, 5ive O’clock Charlie
KAFFEEKLATSCH @ NIGHT, Jay Wilson
LEE ANN’S, Booty Shakers
LISA’S LOUNGE, Karaoke w/ T.S.Mike
MAC’S SPORTSBAR AND STEAKHOUSE (ATHENS),
DJ Chris Slayton
MOODY MONDAYS, Karaoke
OLIVIA’S BAR AND GRILL, Local Orbit and Evolfish
/Costume Party
PARTNER’S BAR & GRILL, Partner’s Cabaret Show
SAMMY T’S MUSIC HALL, DJ Keibot
SPORTS PAGE, Tuco’s Pistol
THE BRICK (DECATUR), Cheesebrokers
THE DOCKS (SCOTTSBORO), Scott Morgan
THE STATION, Handshake Promise
THE STEM & STEIN, Samuel James
TK’S (DECATUR), Cheezee Band
VIEUX CARRE, Vieux Carre Playmates w/ DJ Derrek
VOODOO LOUNGE BAR & GRILL, Lance Almon
Smith
THE VALLEY PLANET
Saturday, October 30
DOWNTOWN HUNTSVILLE HALLOWEEN PARTY,
(See ad pg.9), DiscOasis, Costume Contest
801 FRANKLIN (See ad pg.15), Live Music
BENCHWARMER TOO, Pushin’ Overload w/ Destined
BLACK WATER HATTIE’S, Ruby Lucille and the
Limestone Cowboys w/ The Devastators
CARSON’S, Halloween Extravaganza
and II
COFFEETREE BOOKS & BREW (See ad pg.10), Open
Mic Night
ELK’S LODGE, JD and the Bad Boys
FINNEGAN’S PUB, Acoustics with Dave Merriman
FURNITURE FACTORY, Rob Aldridge
GLASS’S COCKTAILS & GRILL (DECATUR), 2 Days
Gone
HALF TIME BAR & GRILL, Robin Ray
HARD DOCK CAFE (DECATUR), Booty Shakers
HOPPER’S, Peter and the Wolf
HUMPHREY’S BAR &GRILL, Hashbrown
KAFFEEKLATSCH @ NIGHT, Adam Hood
KNIGHT MOVES, Johnny Collier Band
LAS TROJAS, Edgar
LEE ANN’S, Full Circle
LISA’S LOUNGE, Karaoke w/ Mike T.S.
OLIVIA’S BAR AND GRILL, Karaoke
PARTNER’S BAR & GRILL, Roulette’s Halloween
Boolesque Show and Costume Contest
SPORTS PAGE, The Uglistick
THE BRICK (DECATUR), Big Fat Halloween Party
with Bishop Black
THE DOCKS (SCOTTSBORO), Cheezee Band
THE STATION, Halloween Party w/ Black Eyed Susan
THE STEM & STEIN, Pete and Lisa
VOODOO LOUNGE BAR & GRILL, Live Music
Sunday, October 31
BANDITO SOUTHSIDE, Red Headed Step Child
BLACK WATER HATTIE’S, Smokin’ Guns
CASA MONTEGO, Devere Pride
CROSSROADS, Halloween Party
HARD DOCK CAFE (DECATUR), Tina Crompton
Band
HOPPER’S, Karaoke w/ Tara Kearns
HUMPHREY’S BAR &GRILL, Seducing Alice
KAFFEEKLATSCH @ NIGHT, Sunday Blues Jam
hosted by Freddy Earl and the Blues Mercenaries
PARTNER’S BAR & GRILL, Scaraoke and Midnight
Viewing of Rocky Horror Picture Show
SPORTS PAGE, Gus Hergert
VOODOO LOUNGE BAR & GRILL, Karaoke with DJ
Brandon Mac
Monday, November 1
BANDITO SOUTHSIDE, Tuesday’s Hangover
BLACK WATER HATTIE’S, Karaoke w/ Howie
CITY LIMITS CLUB, Karaoke
GLASS’S COCKTAILS & GRILL (DECATUR), Karaoke
w/DW
HUMPHREY’S BAR &GRILL, Open Mic w/ Love Child
KAFFEEKLATSCH @ NIGHT, Acoustic Open Mic
hosted by Greg Rowell
SPORTS PAGE, Dave Anderson
THE STATION 2, Blues on the Patio
VIEUX CARRE, Karaoke Request Night
VOODOO LOUNGE BAR & GRILL, Tim Tucker
Tuesday, November 2
BANDITO SOUTHSIDE, Jazz Jam /Open Mic w/
Marge Loveday
BENCHWARMER TOO, Open Mic Night
BISHOP’S EAST, Open Mic
COPPERTOP, HDK Karaoke with Howie
#102810111710
w/DW
HUMPHREY’S BAR &GRILL, Janessa Taylor
KAFFEEKLATSCH @ NIGHT, Charlie Howell
LEE ANN’S, Shawna P. and the Adam Tyler Brown
LISA’S LOUNGE, Open Mic
Karaoke w/ Doc Roc
MOORESVILLE BAR & GRILL, DJ Jeff Karaoke
PARTNER’S BAR & GRILL, Karaoke w/ Sweet T
SPORTS PAGE, Chelvis and the Bean
SPORTS VISION, Karaoke
THE STATION, Karaoke
THE STATION 2, Acoustics on the Patio
VIEUX CARRE, Open Mic Night
VILLAGE PIZZA (DOWNTOWN ATHENS), Matt
Prater
VOODOO LOUNGE BAR & GRILL, Dave Anderson
Wednesday, November 3
3RD BASE GRILL (SOUTH PARKWAY), Dave
Anderson
BANDITO SOUTHSIDE, Microwave Dave
BLACK WATER HATTIE’S, Open Mic Night w/ Opie
CARSON’S, Open Mic Night w/ Jonathon and Tyler
CAZEDORES, Karaoke Night
CLUB RUSH, Doc Roc/Karaoke
Songwriter’s Jam
COPPERTOP, Bike Night w/ Sad Thad & Company
FINNEGAN’S PUB, Bourbon and Shamrock
w/DW
HOPPER’S, Brent Morgan Duo
HUMPHREY’S BAR &GRILL, Juice
KAFFEEKLATSCH @ NIGHT, Marge
LAS TROJAS, Edgar
LEE ANN’S, Proton Joe
LISA’S LOUNGE, Karaoke Ladies Night w/Doc Rock
MELLOW MUSHROOM (See ad pg.13), Marge
Loveday
PARTNER’S BAR & GRILL, DJ Sweet T and DJ G
SAM & GREG’S, Open Mic Night
SPORTS PAGE, Dave Anderson/Mike Roberts
THE STATION, Crush
VIEUX CARRE, DJ Travis
VOODOO LOUNGE BAR & GRILL, James Irvin
Thursday, November 4
Loveday
BLACK WATER HATTIE’S, Bike Night with Live Music
CLUB RUSH, DJ Rosco/Karaoke
COCKTAILS, Planet 3
CROSSROADS, Noise Organization
Reeves
HOPPER’S, Lil’ Ed
HUMPHREY’S BAR &GRILL, Pork McElhinny
LEE ANN’S, LaRose
Contest
THE BRICK (DECATUR), Blagburn
THE STATION, Jason Albert Band
Friday, November 5
VOLUME 8 ISSUE 15
53 SPORTS BAR & GRILL (HUNTSVILLE), Blackbird
BANDITO SOUTHSIDE, Chris Cook
BIG COVE BBQ, LaGrange
BISHOP’S EAST, LaGrange
BLACK WATER HATTIE’S, Two Days Gone
CARSON’S, Dave Anderson
and II
MaryJustice
COPPERTOP, Local Orbit
CROSSROADS, Since October w/ Special Guest
American Bang
DAILY BREW (DECATUR), John Crosslin and Blaine
Cantrell
EL HERRADURA, Edgar
music cont. on pg.12
11
SPORTS PAGE, Bonedry
THE BRICK (DECATUR), Bar Flies
THE DOCKS (SCOTTSBORO), Jonathon Laird
THE STATION, Black Label
THE STEM & STEIN, Robert Lee
VOODOO LOUNGE BAR & GRILL, An Abstract
Theory
Saturday, November 6
801 FRANKLIN (See ad pg.15), Scott Morgan
BLACK WATER HATTIE’S, Shane Wilson
CARSON’S, Live Music
and II
Mic Night
COPPERTOP, Donnie Cox
DAILY BREW (DECATUR), No Sugar
FLYING MONKEY ARTS CENTER, Michelle Malone
and Phil Weaver
Gone
HOPPER’S, Live Music
HARD DOCK CAFE (DECATUR), Group 6
HOG WILD SALOON, Bonafied
HUMPHREY’S BAR &GRILL, Toy Shop
KAFFEEKLATSCH @ NIGHT, Bob Walters Bad
Banned
LAS TROJAS, Edgar
LEE ANN’S, Pla’ Station
LISA’S LOUNGE, Karaoke w/ Mike T.S.
w/ Special guests Spikey Dikey and Trinity Taylor
Contest
SPORTS PAGE, Blood River
THE BRICK (DECATUR), Natchez Trace
THE DOCKS (SCOTTSBORO), Lasalle
THE STATION, Booty Shakers
THE STATION 2, Jason Albert Band
THE STEM & STEIN, Jim Cavendar
TK’S (DECATUR), Crush
VOODOO LOUNGE BAR & GRILL, Mississippi John
Doude
music cont. from pg.11
FURNITURE FACTORY, Live Music
HARD DOCK CAFE (DECATUR), Crush
HOG WILD SALOON, Bonafied
HUMPHREY’S BAR &GRILL, Kozmic Mama
KAFFEEKLATSCH @ NIGHT, Live Music
KNIGHT MOVES, Johnny Collier Band
LEE ANN’S, Gryphon
LISA’S LOUNGE, Karaoke w/T.S.Mike
DJ Chris Slayton
MOORESVILLE BAR & GRILL, Jason Albert Band
OLIVIA’S BAR AND GRILL, Karaoke/ Live Music
Contest
12
Sunday, November 7
BLACK WATER HATTIE’S, Sad Thad and Company
PARTNER’S BAR & GRILL, Karaoke w/ Michael
SPORTS PAGE, Noel Webster
SPORTS VISION, Planet 3 & DJ Jody Joe
Brandon Mac
Monday, November 8
w/DW
HUMPHREY’S BAR &GRILL, Open Mic - Love Child
VOODOO LOUNGE BAR & GRILL, Dan Sartain
Tuesday, November 9
Marge Loveday
CROSSROADS, Drowning Pool
w/DW
HUMPHREY’S BAR &GRILL, Garrett Tucker, solo
LEE ANN’S, Rudy Mockabee
Karaoke w/ Doc Roc
Prater
Anderson
Songwriter’s Jam
COPPERTOP, Bike Night w/ Sad Thad & Company
FURNITURE FACTORY, Robin Ray
w/DW
HARD DOCK CAFE (DECATUR), Barry & Eddie
HUMPHREY’S BAR &GRILL, Cedrick Burnside &
Lightin Malcolm
KAFFEEKLATSCH @ NIGHT, Chuck Rutenberg
LAS TROJAS, Edgar
LEE ANN‘S, Johnny Collier Band
MELLOW MUSHROOM (See ad pg.13), Jonathon
Laird
Contest
SPORTS PAGE, 4 guys on the couch
THE BRICK (DECATUR), Bo Hembree
THE STATION, Live Music/ Karaoke
Loveday
CLUB RUSH, DJ Rosco/ Karaoke
COCKTAILS, Planet 3
Reeves
#102810111710
VOLUME 8 ISSUE 15
HARD DOCK CAFE (DECATUR), Preston Grammer
HUMPHREY’S BAR &GRILL, Treo El Camino
LEE ANN’S, Crush
Contest
THE STATION, Angry Native
VOODOO LOUNGE BAR & GRILL, Open Mic
Friday, November 12
801 FRANKLIN (See ad pg.15), Kim and Donnie
BANDITO SOUTHSIDE, Silverstreak
BLACK WATER HATTIE’S, Smokin’ Guns
and II
COFFEETREE BOOKS & BREW (See ad pg.10), Fred
Roberts
COPPERTOP, Fat Momma
DAILY BREW (DECATUR), Tim Tucker
EL HERRADURA, Edgar
HARD DOCK CAFE (DECATUR), Pla’Station
HOG WILD SALOON, Zac Hacker
HUMPHREY’S BAR &GRILL, Ezell
KAFFEEKLATSCH @ NIGHT, Live Music
KNIGHT MOVES, JD and the Bad Boys
LISA’S LOUNGE, Karaoke w/ T.S.Mike
DJ Chris Slayton
OLIVIA’S BAR AND GRILL, Triple X
RUGBY’S, Jason Albert Band
Contest
SPORTS PAGE, After the Crash
THE BRICK (DECATUR), Shawna P. and the Earth
Funk Tribe
THE DOCKS (SCOTTSBORO), Country Grace
THE STATION, Black Eyed Susan
THE STEM & STEIN, Shane Wilson
VOODOO LOUNGE BAR & GRILL, Toy Shop
801 FRANKLIN (See ad pg.15), Melody Guy
BANDITO SOUTHSIDE, Shametown
BLACK WATER HATTIE’S, Jonathan Carter
and II
Special Musical Salute to American Veterans
COPPERTOP, Craig Flint
DAILY BREW (DECATUR), Microwave Dave
FLYING MONKEY ARTS CENTER, Jimmy Henderson
w/ Grace Pettis
Gone
HARD DOCK CAFE (DECATUR), Swamp Brothers
HOG WILD SALOON, Zac Hacker
THE VALLEY PLANET
HUMPHREY’S BAR &GRILL, Gary Ray and The
Heartwells
LAS TROJAS, Edgar
LEE ANN’S, Second Hand Lincoln
LISA’S LOUNGE, Karaoke w/Mike T.S.
KAFFEEKLATSCH @ NIGHT, Bourbon and Shamrock
PARTNER’S BAR & GRILL, Pride of Kings
SPORTS PAGE, Spellbinder
THE BRICK (DECATUR), Tuco’s Pistol
THE DOCKS (SCOTTSBORO), Live Music
THE STATION, Jason Albert Band
THE STEM & STEIN, Acoustic Juice
TK’S (DECATUR), Cheezee Band
VOODOO LOUNGE BAR & GRILL, Dawn Osborne
Band
Sunday, November 14
SPORTS PAGE, Gus Hergert
SPORTSVISION, Planet 3 & DJ Jody Joe
Brandon Mac
Monday, November 15
w/DW
HUMPHREY’S BAR &GRILL, Open Mic w/ Ant and
Andrew
VOODOO LOUNGE BAR & GRILL, Gabe Larose
Tuesday, November 16
Marge Loveday
w/DW
HUMPHREY’S BAR &GRILL, Melody Guy
LEE ANN’S, LaRose
Karaoke w/ Doc Roc
Prater
Anderson
Songwriter’s Jam
COPPERTOP, Bike Night w/ Live Music
w/DW
THE VALLEY PLANET
HUMPHREY’S BAR &GRILL, Nick Moss and The Flip
Tops
KAFFEEKLATSCH @ NIGHT, Chuck Rutenberg
LAS TROJAS, Edgar
LEE ANN‘S, LaRose
MELLOW MUSHROOM (See ad pg.13), Jason
Herndon
SPORTS PAGE, Live Music
THE BRICK (DECATUR), Mike Roberts
THE STATION, Live Music/ Karaoke
Loveday
COCKTAILS, Planet 3
Reeves
HUMPHREY’S BAR &GRILL, Microwave Dave and
The Nukes!
LEE ANN’S, The Letters
MARIA BONITA GRILL AND CANTINA (DECATUR) ,
PARTNER’S BAR & GRILL, Karaoke w/ Sweet T
Contest
THE BRICK (DECATUR), Blagburn
THE STATION, Handshake Promise
Friday, November 19
53 SPORTS BAR & GRILL (HUNTSVILLE), Blackbird
801 FRANKLIN (See ad pg.15), Shane Wilson
BANDITO SOUTHSIDE, Scott Morgan
BLACK WATER HATTIE’S, Evolfish
CARSON’S, Carson’s 2nd Anniversary Party with
Dave Anderson
and II
COFFEETREE BOOKS & BREW (See ad pg.10), Billy
Ward
COPPERTOP, Psycho Hillbillies
DAILY BREW (DECATUR), Mike Pyle
EL HERRADURA, Edgar
FLYING MONKEY ARTS CENTER, Phil Weaver and
Microwave Dave
HALF TIME BAR & GRILL, Southbound Junkies
HARD DOCK CAFE (DECATUR), 5ive O’clock Charlie
HUMPHREY’S BAR &GRILL, Lance Almon Smith
KAFFEEKLATSCH @ NIGHT, Rollin in the Hay
KNIGHT MOVES, Backwater
LISA’S LOUNGE, Karaoke w/T.S.Mike
DJ Chris Slayton
MOE’S ORIGINAL BBQ, Brad & Clint
#102810111710
VOLUME 8 ISSUE 15
13
OLIVIA’S BAR AND GRILL, Bone Dry
SAM & GREG’S, Chip Gulbro & Friends
Contest
SPORTS PAGE, Little Memphis Blues Orchestra
THE BRICK (DECATUR), Asher
THE DOCKS (SCOTTSBORO), Toy Shop
THE STATION, Crush
THE STEM & STEIN, Jimmy Henderson
801 FRANKLIN (See ad pg.15), Marge Loveday
BLACK WATER HATTIE’S, Jason Generic Benefit
(Bands all afternoon and night)
and II
Mic Night
COPPERTOP, Carter G.
CROSSROADS, Perpetual Groove
DAILY BREW (DECATUR), Karen Newsom
FLYING MONKEY ARTS CENTER, HSDC w/
Christabel and the Jons
Gone
HARD DOCK CAFE (DECATUR), Jason Albert Band
HUMPHREY’S BAR &GRILL, Pla’Station
KAFFEEKLATSCH @ NIGHT, Tim Tucker
KNIGHT MOVES, Backwater
LAS TROJAS, Edgar
LEE ANN’S, Proton Joe
LISA’S LOUNGE, Karaoke w/ Mike D.S.
SAMMY T’S MUSIC HALL, Warrant with Special
Accessing
Over 1OO Arts
Organizations
& Artists In
Madison County
---Now Just a
Click Away
he Arts Council, Inc. (TAC) announces the
launching of its new website for the community
today at www.artshuntsville.org.
The Arts
Council website will allow art patrons to locate
upcoming events, performances, and activities by over
100 member arts organizations and individual artists.
The site also offers a similar feature to Facebook where
friends of the Arts can create their own personal profiles,
share with other friends their involvement, and interest
in the Arts – a real-time, on-line Arts Community, the
first of its kind in the country.
T
Another key area of the newly launched website is
the first in-depth directory of The Arts Council’s Arts
Assembly, which represents the very best of Madison
County’s music, dance, theatre, film and visual,
literary, multi-disciplinary, and communications arts
and culture.
Additional, the website features up-to-date information
about core programs of the Arts Council including
Panoply Arts Festival, Concerts in the Park, Galleries
and Public Art, and the Create Huntsville Strategic
Plan, a unified initiative to support Huntsville-Madison
County’s quality of life and economic development by
expanding arts and cultural opportunities for all.
14
Guests Firehouse & LA Guns
Contest
SPORTS PAGE, Black Label
THE BRICK (DECATUR), Plato Jones
THE DOCKS (SCOTTSBORO), Live Music
THE STATION, Peeping Tom
THE STEM & STEIN, Seducing Alice
Sunday, November 21
SPORTS VISION, Planet 3 & DJ Jody Joe
VOODOO LOUNGE BAR & GRILL, Karaoke w/ DJ
Brandon Mac
the end!
CALENDAR OF EVENTS
Thursday, October 28
The Squidling Brothers hosted by The Posey Peep
Show, will be at the Flying Monkey Arts Center at
8pm. Admission is $8. For more information, go to
www.flyingmonkeyarts.org.
Spellbinders Halloween Stories and Tales will be at
the Huntsville Public Library from 7-9pm. It will be
free admission. For more information, call 256-5325984 or go to http://hmcpl.org.
The exhibit, Encounters: Mark Messersmith, will
be at the Huntsville Museum of Art until October
31st. For more information, call 256-535-4350 or go to
www.hsvmuseum.org.
There will be a Fixed Gear bicycle ride behind
Bicycles Etc. at 7pm every Thursday night. This is a
casual, fun paced social ride that usually ends with
beer and/or burritos. For more information, go to
www.twofivefix.blogspot.com
Tate Farms Cotton Pickin’ Pumpkins is open for
tours now through October 31st. The activities
include hay bale, cotton picker slides, picking your
own pumpkin and much more. For more information,
go to www. Tatefarmspumkins.com
The exhibit, Turning Wood to Art, the Jane and
Arthur Mason Collection will be at the Huntsville
Museum of Art until December 5th. For more
information, call 256-535-4350 or go to www.
hsvmuseum.org.
The Huntsville Botanical Gardens will have
Scarecrow Trails now through October. For more
information go to www.hsvbg.org or call 256-4303571.
Burritt Museum will have the exhibit 55 Years of
Burritt Museum now through October. For more
information, go to www.burrittonthemountain.com
The Posey Peep Show and Squidling Brothers
will be at the Flying Monkey Arts Center at 8pm.
REGIONAL CONCERTS
The Chronicles of Narnia: The Exhibition coming to
the U.S. Space & Rocket Center
The Chronicles of Narnia: The Exhibition will open on
October 4 and run through January 5, 2011. Based on
the blockbuster film series and C.S. Lewis’ beloved
fictional books, the 10,000-square-foot, state-of-theart entertainment and educational experience offers
visitors the opportunity to tour scenes from the
famed literary world of Narnia. For more information,
call 256-721-7160 or go to www.spacecampstore.
com.
The exhibit, Encounters: Mark Messersmith, will be
at the Huntsville Museum of Art until January 16th.
For more information, call 256-535-4350 or go to
www.hsvmuseum.org.
Just Desserts Mystery Theatre will be at the
Carnegie Visual Arts Center in the historic Carnegie
Library in Decatur. It will be from 7pm until 9pm. To
make reservations call 256-341-0562.
The Carnegie Visual Arts Center will have the
exhibit Beautiful Again, The Works of Dana
Brown and Scott Smith. The exhibit will be now
through November 20th. Both artists will be the guest
speakers at Lunch & Learn on November 5th at Noon.
The event is free but reservations are requested at
256-341-0562. For more information, go to www.
carnegiearts.org.
Burritt on the Mountain will have a Murder Mystery
Party Game. This is an entertaining monster-themed
mystery for up to 32 guests, reservations are required;
call Pat Robertson at 256-512-0143 by Friday, October
8th to reserve your space. The cost is $55 per person
and includes dinner and all that you need to play. For
more information, go to www.MyMysteryParty.com
or www.burrittonthemountain.com.
October 28-30
The Renaissance Theatre presents the Rocky
Horror Picture Show. It will be at 8pm. Tickets are
$20. Midnight showing on Saturday will be $25. For
more information, call 256-536-3117 or go to www.
renaissancetheatre.net.
BIRMINGHAM
November 5, Sarah McLachlan, Alabama Theatre
November 8, Levon Helm Band and Ray LaMontagne, BJCC Concert Hall
November 19, Jason Aldean, BJCC Arena
November 19, NeedToBreathe, Alabama Theatre
The Haunted Gin will be open from 7pm until 12am.
It is located at 600 Merdianville Bottom Road in
Meridianville, next to the old cotton gin. For more
information, go to www.thehauntedgin.com.
October 28-31
The Disturbia Haunted House will be open
Thursday from 7pm until 10pm, Friday, Saturday and
Sunday 7pm until midnight. Tickets are $20. For more
information, go to www.disturbiahauntedhouse.
com.
HUNTSVILLE
November 6, Jeff Dunham, VBCC Arena
November 9, Drowning Pool, Crossroads Cafe
November 18, Manheim Steamroller: Christmas, VBC Concert Hall
November 20, Warrant w/ Firehouse & LA Guns, Sammy T’s Music Hall
November 24, Lyle Lovett and His Large Band, VBC Concert Hall
November 30, Joe Bonamassa, VBC Concert Hall
There is a Haunted Cornfield Maize in Brownsboro
on U.S. 72 between mile markers 107 and 108 this
weekend. It’s from 5 to 11 pm on Friday and noon
to 11pm on Saturday. Tickets are $15 for adults and
$10 for kids. For more information, go to www.
huntsvillehauntedmaze.com.
MEMPHIS
November 9, Styx, Orpheum Theatre
November 10, Levon Helm Band and Ray LaMontagne, Orpheum Theatre
November 12, Liza Minnelli, Orpheum Theatre
November 14, Dane Cook, Fed Ex Forum
November 15, Wired, Orpheum Theatre
November 18, Brad Paisley, Fed Ex Forum
Friday, October 29
The CZC Halloween Dance will be at the Flying
Monkey Arts Center at 8pm. Admission is $15
($13 members). For more information, go to www.
flyingmonkeyarts.org.
NASHVILLE
October 29-30, Avett Brothers, Ryman Auditorium
October 31, Rocktober Fest, Nashville Municipal Auditorium
November 3, John Mellencamp, Ryman Auditorium
November 4, MJMT, Ryman Auditorium
November 8, Sarah McLachlan, Ryman Auditorium
November 10 44th CMA Awards, Bridgestone Arena
November 11, Styx, Ryman Auditorium
November 17, John Butler Trio, Ryman Auditorium
November 18, NeedtoBreathe, Ryman Auditorium
November 18, Warrant, Wildhorse Saloon
November 21, Tokens, Ryman Auditorium
#102810111710
Sci-Quest, Hands-on Science Center will have a new
exhibit Space: A Journey to Our Future. It is one of
the largest touring exhibits ever produced on space
exploration. This exhibit will be at Sci-Quest until
January. For more information, go to www.sci-quest.
org or call 256-837-0606 for current information.
The Huntsville Traditional Music Association will
have its monthly Coffeehouse at the Old Country
Church at Burritt on the Mountain. It will be from
7-9pm. For more information, go to www.
www.hsvcoffeehouse.com.
CONCERTS
ATLANTA
October 30, Weezer, Cobb Energy Performing Arts Center
October 31, 311, Fox Theatre
November 6, Uncle Kracker, Wild Bills
November 12, Lady Antebellum, Fox Theatre Atlanta
November 13, Styx, Cobb Energy Performing Arts Center
November 14, King of Kings Gospel Fest, Gwinnett Center
November 16, Dave Matthews Band, Phillips Arena
November 18, Roger Walters, The Wall Live, Phillips Arena
Admission is $8. For more information, go to www.
flyingmonkeyarts.org.
The Huntsville Ghost Walk will begin at the
Harrison Brothers Hardware Store promptly at
6 pm. Admission is $8.00 for adults and $6.00 for
children 12 and under. For more information call 256509-3940 or go to huntsvilleghostwalk.com. Tickets
are sold in advance at Harrison Brothers.
events cont. on pg.15
VOLUME 8 ISSUE 15
THE VALLEY PLANET
Reserve Now for your
Holiday Parties and Catering
Live Music Friday Saturday
events from pg.14
Grace Lutheran Church and School will serve its
annual German Luncheon Fund-Raiser meal. It will
be from 11am until 1pm. The cost $12 and is available
for dine-in, carry-out or delivery. For more information
call 256-881-0553 or email [email protected].
Attitudes Day Spa Salon will host a “Pink and Black
Party” from 6pm-9pm, in recognition of Breast Cancer
Awareness Month. A donation of $10 is requested.
For more information, call 256-534-7001 or email to
[email protected].
The 2nd Annual Costume Party at the Historic
Lowry House will be from 8pm until 12am. DJ by
Huntsville’s own Chris Kelly, Hors D’oeuvres, water
and soda provided w/ Coolers permitted. There will
be a Costume Contest at 9:30 to be judged by local
celebrities. Tickets are $20. For more information,
please call Historic Lowry House at 256-489-9200.
Singer/ Impressionist Kevin Adams will be at
Yesterdays Event Center. Doors will open at 6pm
and the show will begin at 7pm. There will be a buffet
for 8.99, and tickets are $10 at the door. For more
information, go to www.yesterdaysevents.com
The Alabama Small Business Development Center
Network will have a training class on E Marketing
at UAH, in room BAB 126. It will be from 10 am until
12pm. The cost is $20. For more information, go to
http://sbdc.uah.edu/events.php.
There will be a Huntsville Ghost Trolley Tour at
6pm leaving from Harrison Brothers Hardware, 124
South Side Square. For more information, call 256509-3940
The Danse Immortelle Masquerade Ball will be
from 8pm until midnight at the Huntsville Public
Library. Tickets may be purchased at the door. For
more information, call 256- 532-5940.
A New Leash on Life at the PetSmart in Jones Valley
will have dogs and cats for adoption from 12-5pm
or shop at the New Leash Market Place in 5 Points,
Wednesday-Saturday 11 am until 4pm. For more
information, go to www. anewleash.org.
Dublin Park’s Haunted Hay Ride, Trail of Fears will
be at Dublin Memorial Park from 7-11pm. Not
recommended for children under 10 years of age. For
more information, call 256-772-9300.
October 29- 30
Join Sci-Quest, Hands-on Science Center for its
family friendly Spooktacular Science Halloween
party. This two evening Halloween party introduces
children of all ages to the fun side of science. With
exploding pumpkins, spooky games, costume
contests, hands-on activities, and a special area
designed for preschoolers, Spooktacular Science is
science fun for the whole family! For more information
call 256-837-0606 or go to www.sci-quest.org.
The Huntsville Ballet Company presents Dracula and
Firebird. It will be at the Historic Princess Theater
in Decatur. Performance times are at 2pm and 7pm.
Ticket prices $20-$28. For more information, go to
www.huntsvilleballetcompany.
October 29-31
The 2010 AMP Energy 500 Weekend will feature
NASCAR Sprint Cup Series practice, followed by
qualifying for the NASCAR Camping World Truck
Series. It will be at the Talladega Superspeedway.
For more information, go to http//.hallow-dega.com.
The Doctor Osborn’s Newfangled Medicine Show
will be at Fantasy Arts Center. Friday and Saturday
at 7pm and Saturday and Sunday at 2pm. Admission
is $5. For more information, email [email protected],
or call 256-539-6829.
Saturday, October 30
The 7th annual Huntsville Halloween Party,
Cirque du Freak, will be at Parking Lot, across the
street from Humphrey’s from 8pm until 12am. HYP,
Huntsville Alive and the Valley Planet join forces to
throw North Alabama’s BIGGEST and BEST Halloween
party! Admission is $5. There will be live music, food
vendors, beer and wine, prizes and much more! For
more information, go to
www.huntsvillehalloweenparty.com.
(See ad pg 9).
There will be a Green Means Go and Autumn
Ramble Hike at the Alms House Trail, Monte Sano
Nature Preserve at 9am. For more information, go to
www.landtrust.com.
There will be a Fall Color Special Train Ride at the
North Alabama Railroad Museum. It will be from
10am until 1pm. For more information, call 256- 8516276.
Menopause, The Musical will be at the VBC Concert
Hall. Tickets start at $29.50. For more information, go
to www.MenopauseTheMusial.com.
Celebrate El Dia de los Muertos on view is our
central table for the beloved faithful dead and there
will also be a workshop to help you make your own
skeleton (calacas) tableau to celebrate life embracing
death. It will be from 1pm until 4pm at the Flying
Monkey Arts Center. Admission is free. For more
information, go to www.flyingmonkeyarts.org.
The North Alabama Railroad Museum will have
a Train Excursion: Harvest Express, beginning at
10am. For more information, call 256-851-6276.
The Rocket City Railfest will be at the Jaycee’s
Building from 10am until 3pm. For more information,
call 256- 881-1661.
There will be an International Festival from 10am
until 4pm at the Shelby Center and Atrium and
Courtyard, at 301 Sparkman Drive. There is no
admission charge for this event. For more information,
call 256-824-6432.
The Von Braun Astronomical Society will have a
Planetarium Show at the planetarium in Monte
Sano State Park. Shows are every Saturday night at
7:30pm. For more information, go to www.vbas.org
October 30-31
There will be a Photo Flea Market at the VBC East
Hall from 10am until 4pm. There will be over 200
vendors from the state. For more information, call
954-564-1022.
Sunday, October 31
The Flying Monkey Arts Center will have Dias de los
Muertos – Potluck with ghosts at 5pm. Bring food
to share and a place setting for your ghost guest. For
more information, go to www.flyingmonkeyarts.org.
K.I.D. Artist Collective presents DRAW! It will be from
2-4pm at Lowe Mill. Practice drawing live models
with interesting outfits. The cost is $5 and all levels
welcome! For more information, contact blf0001@
uah.edu or go to www.flyingmonkeyarts.org.
Bicycle Polo is played every Sunday at 4pm at the
corner of Lincoln/Holmes in downtown Huntsville.
More details are available at the facebook page for
Huntsville Bicycle Polo.
Come play Scrabble every Sunday from 3-6pm for
Tournament Style Play at ADRS, located at 3000
Johnson Road in Huntsville. For more information
email [email protected] or go to meetup.
com
There will be a Green Means Go Hike at Northern
Vistas From Wade Mountain
at 2pm. It is a moderate hike and is 2.5 miles.
Directions: North on Memorial Parkway past Alabama
A&M. Left onto first road north of Winchester (Hollow
Road). Right onto Spraggins Hollow Road. Land
Trust parking lot is on the right just past the third 90
degree turn in the road. For more information, go to
www.landtrust.com.
Monday, November 1
The Monaco Theatre will have Movies for Moms
every at 11am. It is designed to provide mothers with
infants an opportunity to see one of the latest movie
releases at a great value. For more information, go to
www.monacopicturesusa.com. (See ad pg.)
Willowbrook Baptist Church will have, Hiding
Place, by Ballet Magnificent. This is a Christian ballet
performance for ages 5 and up. Tickets are $20.
The doors will open at 6:30pm and the show
begins at 7pm. For more information go to www.
balletmagnificat.com or contact is Missy Goforth at
[email protected].
Maggie Moo’s at Bridgestreet will have cupcake
decorating classes from 11am until 1pm every
Monday this month. The cost is $2 per child. For more
information, go to www.bridgestreet.com
Tuesday, November 2
The Dance Club presents the best in ballroom
dancing every Tuesday night at Roller Time skating
rink, 707 Arcadia Circle with free lessons (East and
West Coast Swing) beginning at 7:30pm and dancing
continuing until 10:15pm. The cost is $5 for regular
and $3 for students. For more information email to
Muriel email to [email protected].
Sam and Greg’s Pizza and Gelato Café will have
Improv Games every Tuesday night. It is located
downtown on the square, in Huntsville. It will be at
7:30pm. Tickets are $5. For more information, go to
www. face2faceimprov.com
There will be Shag Dance Lessons held at Hog Wild
every Wednesday night from 6:30pm to 7:30pm,
with dancing continuing until 8:30pm. The lessons
are free and partners are not required. For more
information, contact 256-533-7446 or go to www.
hogwildcountry.
Club Rush will have Salsa Night with Salseroblanko
on the first and third Wednesday’s of each month.
Club Rush is located at 109 North Side Square.
For more information email to salseroblanko@
salseroblanko.ccsend.com
November 4
Lee High School Lee Lyric Theatre presents,
Metamorphis. Performance times are at 9:30am and
7pm. For more information, call 256-509-9414 or go
to www.Leemagnet.org.
There will be a concert in the Huntsville Public
Library Atrium from 6-7pm.This evening, Sentimental
Journey will perform. For more information, go to
www. hmcpl.org.
The Huntsville Christian Women’s Connection
will have a luncheon from 11:30am until 1pm at the
Huntsville Country Club. The cost is $15. For more
information, go to www.stonecroft.org or call 2568831339.
Friday, November 5
The First Friday Arts Fest will be at the Huntsville
Art League Gallery and Visual Arts Center.
HAL is combining its various Receptions into
one monthly blowout! It will be from5-8pm.
There will be free food and drink. For more
information, go to www.huntsvilleartleague.org.
The Redstone Officers’ Civilians’ Club presents
Comedy Night with John Betz Jr. and Paul Strickland.
Tickets are $18 for the dinner and the show. For more
information, call 256-830-2582. (See ad pg.20)
Network will have a training class on Government
Contracting at the Huntsville/Madison County
Chamber of Commerce. It will be from 10 am until
12pm. The cost is $20. For more information, go to
http://sbdc.uah.edu/events.php.
The Flying Monkey First Friday Open House will
be from 5pm until 8pm at the Flying Monkey Arts
Center. Admission is free. There will be art, jewelry,
vintage clothing, records, and more interesting things
for sale inside our facility. For more information, go to
There will be an Artist reception for Roxie Veasey
and Bob Gile, winners of the 2010 Panoply Art
Educators and Emerging Artist Programs. It will be
from 6-9pm at the Lowe Mill 3rd Floor Exhibition
Space. For more information, go to www.lowemill.
net.
November 5-6
The Southeastern Guitar Congress will be at the
Bevill Center at Snead State Community College. It
will focus on classical and jazz guitar, David Leisner
from Manhattan School of Music, Bruce Holzman from
Florida State University, Tom Wolfe from University of
Alabama and Barry Hannah Jazz combo. For more
information, go to www.southeasternguitarcongress.
org.
The Haunted Gin will be open from 7pm until
12am. It is located at 600 Merdianville Bottom
Road in Meridianville, next to the old cotton gin.
The cost is $13. For more information, go to www.
thehauntedgin.com.
November 5-7
The Best Songwriting Seminar To Come Along In
Years will be at Jim Oliver’s Smoke House Mountain
Retreat Center on beautiful Monteagle Mountain
Tennessee. The seminar will feature mercury
recording artist, Daisy Dern and award-winning
songwriters Dave Gibson, Wynn Varble, Chris Wallin.
THE VALLEY PLANET
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VOLUME 8 ISSUE 15
15
events cont. from pg.15
For more information, go to
www.SmokinHitSongwriters.com.
Under the Christmas Tree will be at the Von Braun
Center. It will be a holiday market with unique gifts,
accessories & decorations. For more information, go
to www.randolphschool.net.
There will be a Contra Dance with live music by
Waxwing with calling by Vicki Herndon. It will be
in the gym of Faith Presbyterian, in Huntsville.
The dance will be from 8-11pm with a workshop at
7:30pm. For more information, go to http://secontra.
com/NACDS.html for more info or call 837-0656.
Awakening the Dreamer, Changing the Dream
Symposium will be at the Unitarian Universalist
Church from 10am until 4pm. For more information,
go to www.uuch.org.
Belk’s Charity Sale will be from 6am until 10am. It
will be at all Belk stores in North Alabama. The fourhour, in-store shopping event provides a chance
for customers to support worthwhile charities and
take advantage of special discounts on purchases
made during the event, for a $5 donation. For more
information, go to www.belk.com.
Ginny Erickson Webb’s painting class will be from
4-6 pm at the Lowe Mill Arts Center. The cost is $30
includes everything but a painting smock. To sign
up, contact Ginny at 256-479-7985 or ginny.e.webb@
gmail.com, or go to www.lowemill.net.
Bixby’s Rainforest Rescue will be at the VBC
Concert Hall today at 2pm. For more information,
call 256-518-6155.
The Huntsville Botanical Garden will have a Holiday
Workshop on Bow-making and arrangements
from your backyard. It will be from 9:30-11:30am. For
more information, go to www.hsbg.com or call 256830-4447.
November 6-7
Merrimack Hall will have, Say Goodnight
Gracie. It will be Saturday at 2pm and 7:30pm and
Sunday at 2pm. For more information, go to www.
merrimackhall.com.
The Woodcarving Show and Competition will be
at the Historic Huntsville Depot Saturday from 9am
until 5pm and Sunday 10am until 4pm. There is no
admission charge for this event.
Sunday, November 7
The Film Co-op monthly workshop meets in Don’s
Studio at the Flying Monkey Arts Center from 2pm
until 4pm. Admission is free and open to the public.
For more information, call Don at 457-5371 or go to
this year is going to be bigger than ever! Modeled
after ABC�s hit show, the event features �Stars� of the
community dancing with local ballroom instructors
to raise funds for HEALS and compete for the night�s
top prizes. It will be at Monaco Theatre at 6pm. For
more information, go to www.healsinc.org.
The 5th Annual YMCA Veterans Prayer Breakfast
will be at the Craig & Steven Hogan Family YMCA,
130 Park Square Lane, Madison, Alabama at 7:30am.
Tickets are $10 per person. For more information
contact,Patrice Rowe @ patrice.rowe@ymcahuntsville.
org or 256.428.9622 ext. 3007.
Tuesday, November 9
Network will have a training class on Business
MatchMaker at the Jackson Center. It will be from 8
am until 1pm. The cost is $100. For more information,
go to http://sbdc.uah.edu/events.php.
An Artist Critique will be at the Flying Monkey Arts
Center at 7pm. Admission is free and open to all
visual artists. For questions, contact Mark Blevins at
256-509-6545 or go to www.flyingmonkeyarts.org.
The Huntsville Botanical Gardens will have the
Galaxy of Lights. It will be now through January 1,
2010. For more information, go to www.hsbg.com.
The Veteran’s Day Parade will be in downtown
Huntsville at 11 am.
The Huntsville Library Foundation will present Vive
le Livre with bestselling and irreverent author Bill
Bryson. It will be in the VBC South Hall. It will be
at 6pm. Advanced tickets are available online at
Huntsvillelibraryfoundation.org or by invitation. For
additional information or if you have any questions,
please call Amy Gandy at 256-532-5954.
November 11-14
The Decatur Kennel Club and The Huntsville Kennel
Club come together each November for one of the
largest area dog shows licensed by the American
Kennel Club (AKC). It will be at the Morgan County
Celebration Arena located on Highway 67 East in
Decatur, dogs ranging from the novice to the most
experienced show dog compete for the best in breed
at the annual Cotton Cluster Dog Show. For more
information, go to www.huntsvillekennelclub.org or
wwwakc.org.
About The Decatur-Morgan County Convention &
Visitors Bureau (DMCCVB)
The Decatur-Morgan County Convention & Visitors
Bureau is a not-for-profit organization promoting
tourism and economic growth in Morgan County. For
information on special events and attractions in
Decatur, contact the DMCCVB at 800.524.6181 or
256.350.2028; or visit its website at www.decaturcvb.
org and click on the “Things to Do” link.
The Nativity Choir will present Evensong for All
Saints,with guest organist Dr.James Dorroh.Evensong
is open to the public and handicap accessible. There
is no charge for admission. It will be at 5pm at the
Church of the Nativity, 208 Eustis Avenue, Huntsville.
For more information, call 256-533-2455, ext. 216 or
www.nativity-hsv.org.
Friday, November 12
Network will have a training class on How to Register
in CCR at UAH, in room BAB 126. It will be from 10 am
until 12pm. The cost is $20. For more information, go
to http://sbdc.uah.edu/events.php.
Monday, November 8
The 4th Annual event that features local “Stars” of
the Huntsville/Madison County community dancing
for HEALS in 2010! A popular & sold-out event,
November 12-14
Theatre Huntsville presents a play by Neil Simon, The
Odd Couple, Female Version. It will be at the VBC
Playhouse. It will be Friday and Saturday at 7:30pm
and Sunday at 2pm. Tickets are $17, $15 for students,
16
Report from the Gulf Coast
Note: I’m not an expert and have no authority to tell anyone what
is safe, unsafe, or somewhere in-between. I’m reporting what I see
and feel in a completely unscientific manner. So don’t sue me.
ormally I have articles full of whimsy and wonder. This
one is a bit more on the serious side. I spent Labor Day
weekend in post-Deepwater Horizon Panama City Beach. I
was hesitant, and at the time I made my reservation, I had no idea if
the Gulf of Mexico would be a black, oily mess or just as sparkling
as ever. Sadly, even though it was all over the news, there wasn’t
a whole lot of info on the quality of the water. This is what I’m
reporting on.
N
It’s not good.
I mean, it wasn’t a solid sheet of oil. I didn’t really even see any oil. Around Labor Day weekend, we’d just hit the
question “where did the oil go?” In my completely unscientific and uninformed opinion, I think the dispersant did
its job and then some. The first day I was there (the beaches were never closed), we got in the water. It looked fine,
but it was just weird. It just didn’t feel right on my skin. For lack of a better analogy, it’s pretty much the feeling
you would get if you touched deodorant and tried to wash your hands. Your hands feel sticky, like they won’t rinse
properly. This is how the ocean felt. My traveling companion described it in one word: wrong.
I really didn’t want to report it like that. I hoped to come back to Huntsville with an “everything’s awesome!”
thumbs-up with unparalleled enthusiasm. I hope it’s temporary, I hope they can fix it. Right now, I’m just sad and
angry when I think about what happened. It’s my gulf. It’s my vacation spot. It’s where I go when I want a little
getaway-from-it-all. I spent about 15 minutes in the water and only a few minutes lying out on the sand. Normally
on a Florida weekend, I spend the better part of an entire day sunning on the beach/swimming in the ocean.
However, all was not gloom and doom, and while the beach was not crowded at all, any restaurant worth its salt pretty
much had a two hour wait every night. And there was nary a parking space to be found at Pier Park (the outdoor
mall).
So if you go to the beach, just be careful. I can’t say whether it’s safe or not, but I didn’t go back in that weekend.
However, there are a lot of ocean-front hotels, and while I didn’t get to swim, I did get to spend a lot of time sitting
on my balcony, listening to the waves.
And one other good thing can be said about the Gulf Coast: the white sand is still as beautiful, and the sunset is just
as romantic. And it’s still a perfect place for your traveling companion to propose.
I said yes.
seniors and military. For more information, call 256536-0807 or go to www.yourseatiswaiting.org. (See
ad pg.16)
There will be a Green Means Go and Autumn Ramble
Hike at the Fanning Trail, Blevins Gap Nature
Preserve at 9am. For more information, go to www.
landtrust.com.
The Huntsville Personal Computer User Group
(HPCUG) will meet at the Senior Center on Drake
Avenue in the Merrimac Room. The Internet SIG
meeting will be at 9:15 and Dean Christensen will
be there at 10:45 am. For more information call 256830-2232 or go to www.hpcug.com.
There will be an All About Women Marketplace
at the Jaycees Building on Airport Road. It will be
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VOLUME 8 ISSUE 15
from 10am until 5pm. Admission is free. For more
information, email [email protected]
Burritt Museum will have Burritt’s Holiday Mansion
Exhibit: Deck Halls. It will be begin today and go
through the holidays. For more information call 256536-2882 or go to www.burrittonthemountain.com.
Club Rush will have Salsa Night with Salseroblanko
on the first and third Wednesday’s of each month.
Club Rush is located at 109 North Side Square.
For more information email to salseroblanko@
salseroblanko.ccsend.com
November 17-21
There will be a play, Autobahn, at UAH in Wilson Hall.
THE VALLEY PLANET
A Tendrilled Life:
Environmental
Haiku
by Terri L. French
T
he Japanese poetic form haiku has intrigued me
since I was old enough to scrawl actual words
across the page. The Japanese poet, Basho (16441694) is said to be the father of haiku. In Japanese,
the verse traditionally consists of a single vertical line
of seventeen sounds (called “on”). In English, haiku
typically appears in three lines, often with a short-longshort pattern of 17 or fewer syllables. Japanese haiku is
considered incomplete without the seasonal reference
called “kigo.”
The definition of haiku has been written, rewritten
and tweaked throughout the years. The Haiku Society
of America (HSA) adopted the following definition
in 2004: “A haiku is a short poem that uses imagistic
language to convey the essence of an experience of
nature or the season intuitively linked to the human
condition.”
When humans appear in haiku they usually exist in
harmony with nature rather than in domination of it.
But, while Zen-tinged references to the environment
in Buddhist sutras and literature hold the natural world
in high reverence, the interconnectedness between
man and nature is not always portrayed harmoniously
within the haiku.
With dewdrops dripping
I wish I could wash
this perishing world
--Basho
Contemporary haiku artist Adele Kenny, poetry editor
of Tiferet: A Journal of Spiritual Literature, writes
haiku with real, stark and sometimes disturbingly
ironic imagery.
events cont. from pg.16
It will be Wednesday-Saturday at 7:30pm and Sunday
at 2:30pm. For more information, call 256-824-6871.
The Third Thursday on the Third Floor Artist Talk
with Lowe Mill resident artist, Kristy Jane from Brown
will be at 6pm. Refreshments are provided. For more
information, go to www.lowemill.net.
November 18-19
Comedian Henry Cho will be at Merrimack Hall at
8pm. Tickets are $20. For more information, go to
www.merrimackhall.com.
November 18-20
Theatre Huntsville presents a play by Neil Simon, The
Odd Couple, Female Version. It will be at the VBC
Playhouse. It will be Friday and Saturday at 7:30pm
and Sunday at 2pm. Tickets are $17, $15 for students,
seniors and military. For more information, call 256536-0807 or go to www.yourseatiswaiting.org. (See
ad pg.16)
Friday, November 19
Sci-Quest, Hands-on Science Center will host
Parents’ Night Out from 5:30 until 9pm. Parents can
drop their children off at Sci-Quest where they will
enjoy dinner, science activities, and time with SciQuest’s hands-on exhibits. This event is for children
ages 4-12. Admission is $20 for the first child and $15
for each additional child in the same household. For
more information call 256-837-0606 or go to www.
sci-quest.org
Network will have a training class on SBA programs
and Local Bank Lending at UAH, in room BAB 126. It
will be from 10 am until 12pm. The cost is $20. For
more information, go to http://sbdc.uah.edu/events.
php.
November 19-20
The Country Cabaret 2010 will feature the talents
of local singer songwriter Cristina Lynn and friends.
It will be Friday at 7:30pm and Saturday at 2:30pm
and 7:30pm. For more information, go to www.
renaissancetheatre.net.
November 19-21
The Delta Zeta Craft show will be this weekend at
the VBC South Hall. For more information, call 256533-1953.
THE VALLEY PLANET
Hauled upon deck
The humpback whale
Breathing its own blood
* * *
Hairdo perfectly sprayed
She asks about
Fluorocarbons
Kenny is a third order (secular) Franciscan. Saint
Francis, patron saint of animals, birds and the
environment, preached the duty of men to enjoy and
protect nature as both the stewards of God’s creation
and as creatures ourselves. “I have found haiku is
a genre consistent with the sense of environmental
stewardship inherent in the Franciscan charism,” she
says.
Basho held the belief that poetry could be a source of
enlightenment and yet he advised “Do not follow in the
footsteps of the old masters, but seek what they sought.”
Environmentally minded haiku does seek to enlighten.
Though some purists would see the form and content
as unconventional and nontraditional, it does hold to
the HSA definition. It utilizes vivid imagery to convey
the essence of an experience of nature as it relates to
the human condition. The awareness of both the natural
and man-made perils that exist in our current world and
the recognition of nature’s innate and fragile beauty
can be manifested into strong often juxtaposing poetic
reflections. Hopefully the sense of silence, temporality
and mystery of haiku can once again be expressed
predominantly as calm and peaceful moments in time in
which man, birds, animals and nature live in harmony.
“Sadly, humankind is driven by power and control,”
says Kenny, “Happily, there are groups and individuals
who promote the very important cause of care-taking—
haiku writers among them.”
Stay tuned for my new “haiku page” on the soon-tobe Valley Planet interactive site.
The Play, The Fiddler on the Roof will be at the VBC
Concert Hall. It will be Friday at 8pm, Saturday at
2pm and 8pm and Sunday at 1pm and 6:30pm. For
more information, call 256-518-6155.
There will be a Members First Preview Party for the
Davidson Center for the Arts. It will be from 6-11pm.
It is $25 per person. There will be six exhibitions and
live music by Ken Watters Band and DJ Steve Metz. If
you would like to become a member contact Debbie
Higdon at 256-535-4350 ext. 203 or dhigdon@
hsvmuseum.org.
The 2nd Annual Krispy Kreme Challenge to benefit
UPC will be at 8am at Blossomwood Elementary
School (the former East Clinton School).The challenge
is to run 2miles through downtown Huntsville to
Krispy Kreme, eat a dozen doughnuts and then run
two miles back all in one hour. Registration is $20. For
more information, go to ucphuntsville.org, or call 256859-4900. (See ad pg.6)
There will be an Organ Recital featuring Aaron
Tan, winner of the 2009 Huntsville Organ Festival
Competition. It will be at 5pm and is open to the
public and there is no charge for admission. It will be
at the Church of the Nativity. For more information,
call 256-533-2455 or go to www.nativity-hsv.
Sunday, November 21
Come fly with Madison United Methodist
Church, 127 Church Street, Madison. (the
third Sunday of each month in 2010) from
1:30 - 4 pm, inside the MUMC Christian Life
Center Aerodrome. Free for all ages. For more
information, call Jim Marconnet at (256) 772-3946
or go to www.rcgroups.com/forums/showthread.
php?t=898132.
The Grand Opening of the Davidson
Center for the Arts will be from 2-5pm.
It will be free admission to all from. There will be
free activities for the kids, a chance to view our new
interactive children’s gallery, and performances from
the Huntsville Youth Orchestra and the Huntsville
High Voices Show Choir. For more information, go to
www.hsvmuseum.org.
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There will be two special awards presented that night. The first recipient for the Lifetime Achievement Award will
be the incomparable contemporary jazz pianist, composer, and producer David Benoit. The award will be named in
his honor, and in the future, be awarded as the David Benoit Lifetime Achievement Award.
The other award is the Wayman Tisdale Humanitarian Award. The late bass guitarist and Basketball Hall Of Famer
lost his battle with cancer in May of 2009. Regina Tisdale will present this award to an artist who has made
significant personal contributions to mankind.
W
elcome to The Jazz Lounge. For this session, we focus on the American Smooth Jazz Awards taking place
October 29th, 2010 in the Performing Arts Center at the DuSable Museum Of African American History
located in the Hyde Park area of Chicago. The event will celebrate the music and artists in the world of
contemporary jazz, as well as journalists, radio and internet personalities.
I was honored when Bernie Scott, President/CEO of The American Smooth Jazz Awards contacted me with an
invitation to participate in the first annual award nomination process this past January. I graciously accepted, and
became a part of history. Ever since that time, the momentum and excitement has continued to build. The awards
have captured international attention, and is the talk of the smooth jazz world. It will be quite the event.
Nominated performing artists include: Marc Antoine, Jackiem Joyner, Cindy Bradley, Brian Simpson, Richard
Elliot, Darren Rahn, Peter White, Four80East, Kyle Wolverton, The Sax Pack, and Nick Colionne – who will be
musical director and host for the evening. Chicago radio personality Rick O’Dell will emcee the show.
It is always a pleasure speaking with Bernie Scott, President/CEO of The American Smooth Jazz Awards. I really
respect and admire his passion and enthusiasm for music. Bernie says: “This event has drawn global attention, as
smooth jazz is flourishing in Europe and beyond. Radio personalities and journalists from across the pond are very
anxious to hear results. We are expecting a sell-out, with limited or no tickets available on the day of the show.
Unfortunately, the DuSable Museum does not allow standing room only. We have people coming from all over the
U.S. to this event. There are a lot of people coming from the west coast and east coast. Many of our friends from the
southern states are coming as well. We welcome them all, as we are one big smooth jazz family.”
Hopefully you voted for your favorites when the final ballots came out. Good luck to the nominees. And the winner
is….
SONG
You can reach me at: [email protected].
Bright (Peter White)
Until next time, stay cool, and keep it jazzy!
I’m Waiting For You (Jackiem Joyner)
Living In High Definition (George Benson)
The 2010 American Smooth Jazz Awards nominees
Talk Of The Town (Darren Rahn)
are:
Go For It (Bernie Williams)
ENTERTAINER OF THE YEAR
Dave Koz
Nick Colionne
Brian Culbertson
Richard Elliot
MALE VOCALIST
Spencer Day
Will Downing
George Benson
Phil Perry
Kenny Lattimore
FEMALE VOCALIST
Maysa Leek
Melody Gardot
Norah Jones
Vanessa Williams
Randy Crawford
GROUP OF THE YEAR
The Rippingtons
The Sax Pack
Fourplay
Pieces Of A Dream
Spyro Gyra
BRASS/WOODWIND
Rick Braun
Boney James
Richard Elliot
Darren Rahn
Euge Groove
PERCUSSIONIST
Harvey Mason
Alex Acuna
Rayford Griffin
Lenny Castro
Russ Kunkel
ALBUM
Send One Your Love (Boney James)
Bloom (Cindy Bradley)
Rock Steady (Richard Elliot)
Good Day (Peter White)
In Boston (Chris Botti)
JOURNALIST
Carol Archer (All That Jazz, Inc.)
Melanie Maxwell (Smooth Jazz News)
Denis Poole (Smooth Jazz Therapy/Smooth Jazz
Vibes)
Brian Soergel (Smooth Jazz Network/Smooth Jazz
News/Jazz Times)
Jonathan Widran (Jazziz/Wine & Jazz)
BROADCASTER__ (TERRESTRIAL RADIO)
Randy Bennet
Brian Culbertson
Art Good
Allen Kepler
Dave Koz
Rick O’Dell
Alexander Zonjic
BROADCASTER__ (INTERNET RADIO)
Jimi King
Ted Hasiuk
Mike Scott
Cameron Smith
Michael Tozzi
INTERNATIONAL MALE VOCALIST
Michael Buble
Seal
Matt Dusk
Anders Holst
INTERNATIONAL FEMALE VOCALIST
Basia
Diana Krall
Sophie Milman
Carol Welsman
Corinne Bailey Rae
GUITARIST
Peter White
Nick Colionne
Jeff Golub
George Benson
Nils
INTERNATIONAL GROUP
Four80East
Hiroshima
The Jazzmasters
Down To The Bone
Incognito
Groove Kings
KEYBOARDIST
Brian Culbertson
Gregg Karukas
Jeff Lorber
Philippe Saisse
Brian Simpson
INTERNATIONAL ARTIST
Jesse Cook
Oli Silk
Marc Antoine
Candy Dulfer
Paul Hardcastle
NEW ARTIST
Cindy Bradley
Spencer Day
Drew Davidsen
Kyle Wolverton
Darren Rahn
GOSPEL JAZZ
Greg Vail
Take 6
Jonathan Butler
Angella Christie
David Wells
Kirk Whalum
Ben Tankard
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VOLUME 8 ISSUE 15
THE VALLEY PLANET
Coffeetree Books & Brew
Songwriter’s Jam
by Justin Markland
E
very time I look at the Valley Planets music calendar I’m intrigued by the weekly event, “Song
Writer’s Jam,” at The Coffee Tree Books & Brew. The first few times I came across it, I had
images of a small clique of musicians sitting around sipping coffee, sharing their songs, and
critiquing each other. I thought it would be something really interesting (and intimidating) to participate
in, but not something that would be engaging for an audience. I decided to stop imagining what this
“Jam” might be and went down to the Coffee Tree for a listen.
When I saw how crowded the parking lot was, I started to think it wasn’t as small of an event as I
thought. I walked inside and pretended to look at the menu, but I was really looking at all of the guitar
cases lying around every filled seat, and realizing I had imagined this all wrong. There was no circle
of musicians; there was a stage and an audience. It turns out that it’s not so much a songwriter’s jam as
it is a songwriter’s open mic.
It had the normal structure of an open mic, each person performing two songs and then a Host
introducing the next person. It was unique in one major aspect; it sometimes ventured into the realm of
karaoke. Some of the songwriters came with pre-recorded music that they played over the PA system
while singing the lyrics live. I only saw a few people doing this, but it was enough to take note of.
For the most part people tended to play folk-influenced music, and I think it’s what the audience was
expecting (In the loose sense of the exception proving the rule, there was one person who sang a couple
of smooth jazz songs). The age range was a little more varied than the musical styles ranging from
teenagers to baby boomers.
It’s a free show (though I’m sure they’d appreciate it if you got a coffee) that starts at 7:00 every
Wednesday night. I would suggest getting there a little early so that you can get a seat. The Songwriters
Jam is filled with talent, but it isn’t for everyone. Thankfully the Valley Planet has a link to the Coffee
Tree Books & Brew website which has a great list of musicians who play regularly with links to their
individual websites and information including dates and times of the other music nights Coffee Tree
sponsors. As always, if you like what you hear you will enjoy the show.
The Barn
by Matthew Pierce
S
omewhere a championship is being played
tonight. Somewhere two undefeated teams
are battling for first place. Somewhere boys
are playing in front of TV crews and reporters.
And then there is this place. To the Brewer Patriots it is home: a sloping field carved out of the
side of a hill. On top of the
hill is a run down barn that
sits stubbornly among the
trees and keeps watch over
the stadium. Here the boys
don’t play for TV cameras
or championships. Here
they play for family and for
each other, for their classmates and teachers, and for
old-fashioned pride.
The Columbia Eagles are
bringing their 2-2 record
into town to play the Patriots, who are 1-3 and fighting desperately to avoid another 2-8 season like
last year. Problem is, losing can be like a parasite.
It can burrow deep into your insides. Getting rid
of it is more complicated than Xs and Os, more
than just talent or even training. You have to exorcise it like a demon.
The Brewer students have shown up in force tonight. Eight boys have come to the game dressed
only in shorts and sneakers and copious amounts
of body paint. The teens are painted red, and each
of them has a white letter drawn on his chest. Together they spell PATRIOTS. They don’t mind
standing out, as long as they stand out the same.
I wander over to the student section, where the
hormones are thick and optimism is high.
“Where do you get the paint?” I ask the human
billboard.
The P and the I and one of the Ts reply in unison:
“The cheerleaders.”
“They brush it on for us.” Offers one of the consonants.
On behalf of 14-year old boys everywhere, I decide that this is an excellent arrangement. Do the
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cheerleaders help them wash it off, too?
One of the letters—who shall remain anonymous—exclaims from under the safety of his
mop top,
“I mean, they can come clean me off. Anytime.”
I also spend some time with Mike Mann, who is
the father of Brewer’s quarterback, Matt Mann.
Mike is a tall graying man who sits on the top
row so he can see all of his son’s passing lanes on
Patriots down the field when a Colombia defender
picks off a pass in the end zone and reels off a
dizzying 100 yard return for a touchdown. Not to
be outdone, TJ Graham takes the ensuing kickoff
and cuts through the coverage for another Patriot
score.
The Patriot team fights long and hard into the
night. The fourth quarter drags on and on as both
teams score seemingly at will. Brewer pulls close
on two occasions, but the spell of losing cannot be
undone. The Patriots are crippled by a bad call. A
missed tackle. A dropped touchdown pass.
The game ends with Brewer holding the short
side of a 39-27 tally. The remnants of the Patriot
crowd give a rousing cheer to the boys in red and
navy as they trudge and hobble towards the locker
room.
the field. He talks with wide eyes about his son’s
development. The elder Mann is fidgety and anxious as kickoff draws near.
“Does it hurt you when your son gets hit out
there?” I ask him.
“It hurts his momma.” He replies.
Mann doesn’t hesitate.
“That we never gave up.” He says proudly, then
pauses, trying to think of something to add.
There’s nothing there, so he says it again:
“That we never gave up.”
The kid turns and walks back to the embrace of
family and friends who are patiently waiting for
him.
Everyone is smiling tonight. After all, it was just
a game. Their lives are young. And the marching
band is sending the school song so far out into
the blackness that even the old barn on the hill
feels it.
I decide to mix things up. Somewhere inside that
uniform is a kid.
Which I translate to, “Yes.”
Brewer spots the Eagles an early 12-0 lead. The
Patriots are without their bruising running back
Phillip Newby, who is sidelined with a knee injury. The team sleepwalks through most of the
first half. Finally, gifted field position at midfield
after a failed onside kick, the gears begin turning. Brewer inches toward a score as the clock
dwindles away. With only a few seconds left in
the half, senior TJ Graham catches a short pass
and spins out of two tackles to crash into the end
zone for an unlikely touchdown.
Brewer briefly takes the lead in the third quarter
but things quickly unravel. Mann is driving the
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I catch up with Matt Mann a few minutes later.
He is a lanky boy with tight curly hair and the
faint hint of a swagger that’s just arriving. I ask
him about the game and his teammates and their
performances. His answers come out parsed and
packaged, in coach-speak. He is parrying the
questions like they are oncoming defenders.
“In 20 years, when you’re up there in the stands
and you look like this guy,” I say, pointing at his
father, who is standing nearby.
“What will you remember about this game tonight?”
“Are you cool?”
He stammers for a moment before a bashful smile
breaks across his face like a sunrise.
“Aww…yeah. I’m the quarterback. So, yeah.”
“Do you have a girlfriend?”
Another smile, and another candid reply.
“No. I’m just focusing on football. I guess I’m
on the market.”
VOLUME 8 ISSUE 15
19
FREE WILL ASTROLOGY
October 28-November 17
© Copyright 2010 Rob Brezsny
ARIES (March 21-April 19): In the Chinese province of Fujian, there used to be people who believed they could
communicate directly with the dead. If they slept on the grave of the person they wished to reach, their dreams during
the night might lead to a meeting with the spirit of the departed. I propose that you consider something similar, Aries.
Why? Because according to my reading of the astrological omens, you would benefit from communing with your
ancestors. If you can’t actually spend the night near their final resting place, find another way to contact them in
dreams. Put their photos under your pillow, maybe, or hold one of their beloved objects as you sleep. Halloween
costume suggestion: the ancestor whose influence you need most right now.
TAURUS (April 20-May 20): In an exhibition at New York’s Museum of Modern Art, performance artist Marina
Abramovic stared into the eyes of a succession of different strangers for 700 hours. Actresses Marisa Tomei and
Isabella Rossellini were among those who received her visual probes, as well as 1,400 less famous folks. I think it
would be fun for you to do a variation on her ritual, Taurus. In your case, you wouldn’t do it to show off or to prove
an artistic point, but rather to get closer to the allies with whom you’d like to develop a deeper bond. Are you up for
some deep eye gazing? Halloween costume suggestion: a mystic seer; a god or goddess with a third eye; a superhero
whose power is X-ray vision.
GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Have you ever seen the edible fungi known as truffles? They are bulbous, warty
clumps. Because they grow underground near trees, specially trained pigs and dogs are needed to sniff out their
location. In parts of Europe their taste is so highly prized that they can sell for up to $6,000 per pound. In my
opinion, the truffle should be your metaphor of the month this November. I expect that you will be in the hunt for
an ugly but delectable treasure, or a homely but valuable resource, or some kind of lovable monster. Halloween
costume suggestion: a Frankensteinian beauty queen or underwear model, a rhino in a prom dress, a birthday cake
made of lunchmeat.
CANCER (June 21-July 22): Don’t try harder, Cancerian; try easier. Don’t turn your focus into a white-hot beam of
piercing intensity; relax your focus into a soft-eyed enjoyment of playing around with the possibilities. Don’t tense
your sphincter, marshal your warrior ferocity, and stir up your righteous anger at how life refuses to conform to your
specifications; rather, send waves of tenderness through your body, open your heart to the experiment of blending
your energy with life’s unpredictable flow, and marvel at the surprising revelations and invitations that are constantly
flowing your way. Halloween costume suggestions: Mr. Smooth, Ms. Velvet, Dr. Groovalicious, DJ Silky.
LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): “I wanted to change the world,” said writer Aldous Huxley. “But I have found that the only
thing one can be sure of changing is oneself.” I suggest you adopt that as your operative hypothesis, Leo. Maybe
in a few weeks it’ll make sense for you to shower your loved ones with advice, and maybe you’ll eventually get
re-inspired to save humanity from its foolish ways. But for now your assignment is to fix, refine, and recalibrate
your own beautifully imperfect self. Halloween costume suggestion: hermit, anarchist, keeper of a gorgeous diary,
do-it-yourself brain surgeon.
VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): In last May’s national election, none of Britain’s three political parties got a majority.
For a while, the country had no leader. Eventually, the rightwing Conservatives and the leftwing Liberal Democrats
formed a weird coalition, making Conservative David Cameron the Prime Minister. Some people had mixed feelings
about the deal. “I said it was like a cross between a bulldog and chihuahua,” London’s mayor announced, “but
what I meant is it will have a fantastic hybrid vigor.” I suspect that a certain merger you have in the works, Virgo,
could yield similar feelings. Halloween costume suggestion: half-bulldog, half-chihuahua; part hummingbird, partcrocodile; equal mix of Gandhi and Napoleon.
LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Five white tigers at a Chinese wild animal park became way too tame for their own
good. Maybe they’d hung around humans too long or their lifestyle was too cushy. Whatever the reason, one of
their essential instincts atrophied. A zookeeper put live chickens into their habitats, hoping they would pounce and
devour, but instead they retreated as if unnerved. Tigers scared of chickens?! Since then the zoo officials have been
taking measures to boost the big cats’ bravado. I bring this to your attention, Libra, because I’m worried you might
be headed in the tigers’ direction. Undomesticate thyself! Halloween costume suggestion: a big fierce creature.
SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): You could really use your own personal doorman or doorwoman -- someone who
would accompany you everywhere you go and help you gain entrance through the portals you encounter. In my
vision of what you require, this assistant would go further. He or she would find secret camouflaged doors for you,
and do the equivalent of uttering Ali Baba’s magic words “Open Sesame!” He or she would even create doors for
you, allowing you to penetrate obstacles -- going into carpenter mode and fashioning a passageway for you right
on the spot. If you can’t find anyone to fulfill this role for you, do it yourself. Halloween costume suggestion: a
doorman or doorwoman; a gatekeeper from a fairy tale.
SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Is the highest form of courage embodied in a soldier fighting during a war?
Irish poet William Butler Yeats didn’t think so. He said that entering into the abyss of one’s deep self is equally
daring. By my astrological reckoning, that will be the location of your greatest heroism in the days ahead. Your
most illuminating and productive adventures will be the wrestling matches you have with the convulsive, beautiful
darkness you find inside yourself. Halloween costume suggestion: a peaceful warrior.
CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): The average spammer sends out 12,414,000 emails before snagging the money
of just one gullible dupe. You’re not going to have to be quite that prolific in order to get the word out about what
you have to offer, but you’ll have to be pretty persistent. Fortunately, to improve your odds and raise your chances
of success, all you have to do is purify your intentions. So please check in with your deep self and make sure that
your gift or idea or product or service has impeccable integrity. Halloween costume suggestion: a holy salesperson;
an angel hawking real estate in paradise; a TV infomercial spokesperson for free cake.
AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Sunlight may smell spicy or musky to you these days. The wind might have a flavor
like chocolate liqueur or a ripe peach. The hum of the earth as it turns may sound like a symphony you heard once in
a dream. Your body? Electric. Your soul? Sinewy. In other words, Aquarius magic is afoot. The hills are alive with
future memories that taste delicious. Your feet will touch sacred ground far more than usual. Halloween costume
suggestion: a character from a film that changed your life for the better.
PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): In the middle of the last century, avant-garde filmmaker Kenneth Anger threw a
masquerade party called “Come as Your Madness.” One of the invited guests was the Piscean writer Anais Nin. She
appeared as the ancient fertility goddess Astarte, but with an unexpected wrinkle: She wore a birdcage over her head.
This Halloween I urge you to be inspired by Nin’s decision to portray her madness as a goddess, but reject Nin’s
decision to cage the head of her mad goddess. Find a disguise that allows you to embody the best and most beautiful
part of your craziness, and let it roam free.
Homework: Meditate on death not as the end of physical life, but as a metaphor for shedding what’s outworn. In
that light, what’s the best death you’ve ever experienced? Freewillastrology.com
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VOLUME 8 ISSUE 15
THE VALLEY PLANET
I
“Love moderately. Long love doth so.”
--William Shakespeare
suppose we would love moderately, if we knew
what love was.
I suppose we would love moderately, if only we knew
how.
How do we even know when we genuinely love
someone, or when someone genuinely loves us--and, in
the myriad forms of love that exist.
As for me, I’m a highly intuitive person and can most
often tell when love toward me is real; but then again,
I’ve been easily deceived by some clever mask-wearers/
manipulators, as well as by some who were not at all
clever--I just so wanted to believe.
The question is whether or not we’re willing to pay
attention, or whether we want to plunge ahead, in denial,
and fall into an abyss, be it romantic love, friendship,
familial love, or human fellowship. Most of mankind
behaves much like Oedipus Rex. Rather than deal with
truth, it merely pokes the brooch pin into its eyes and
wanders around in the desert bumping into more and
more “wrong” loves.
No acid test for “real love” exists. However, a few
general indicators do.
The person who says he/she loves you:
1. Acts in loving ways, as well as speaking the word
“love.” Words are just as cheap now as they were
when the priest advised Romeo to cool his heels.
Anyone can say “love,” and say it convincingly.
Does the person act with kindness, fairness, loyalty,
truthfulness, respect?
2. Can put himself/herself second, when necessary.
We all need some “self-involvement” for survival,
but if the love-er can’t “un-self-involve” at all or
resents coming out of his/her “world of mirrors,”
that person might be “loving” himself or herself-not you.
He or she is able to empathize with your pain or
troubles, even though he or she has pain and troubles, as
well. Everyone is carrying at least 1-12 burdens at any
given time. Some carry more. (God bless them!) For a
few moments, minutes, hours, someone who loves you
just might be able to put aside any number of burdens
to help lighten one of yours. The one who loves is also
able to prioritize at mutual-need moments. Her hair
having turned purple at the beautician’s, though most
unfortunate, ranks much lower than his parents’ auto
accident.
3. Shows respect for who you are. Respect is
undoubtedly the one most important aspect of
any kind of love. If the so-called love-er doesn’t
listen to what you say you need, whether he or she
can fulfill that need or not; ignores your feelings;
avoids confrontation at all costs; puts you down
with sadistic or sarcastic words; plays “mind
games” instead of being straightforward; abuses
you physically; deceives you; does not encourage
your dreams or ambitions; and/or treats you like an
inferior person, you are obviously not receiving the
respect you deserve. And, thereby, not the real love
you long for.
4.
5.
Accepts all of you, chinks and flaws included--but
doesn’t let you get away with murder. Every single
human being is deeply flawed. In any relationship
between two people, flaws will, over time, appear
and have to be dealt with. To allow a supposed
love-er to hurt you continually, because of an innate
flaw, is not showing love for that person. It is, in
fact, inhibiting that person’s awareness and the
consequences of his or her behavior. If you can’t
work it out between yourselves, if the love is real,
perhaps you will make the time and money to seek
professional help.
Points out the good and beautiful about you--often-but not in a sticky-icky, over-done, grandiose way.
Celebrates your successes with you and encourages
you in all your endeavors. If he or she feels jealousy,
expresses that openly, but encourages you, anyway,
in word and deed.
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6. Gives you gifts you want, not what he or she
wants. A chocoholic might want a box of Godiva
chocolates; that doesn’t mean her boyfriend would
be overjoyed to receive one for his birthday when
he asked for gourmet pistachios.
7. Is able to make compromises, without giving too
much of himself or herself away. (That’s a tricky
one.)
8. Can fight fair (can stand his or her ground without
being abusive or running away) and can agree to
“disagree.” Makes love more important than being
“right.”
9.
Is able to give comfort while receiving it. People
who love each other can be down at the same time.
Think of families who have lost someone to death
and how they comfort one another.
10.
Is a separate entity from you--despite those
moments of “paradisiacal oneness” in passionate
love or a rare feeling of belonging to the whole of
mankind.
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The person who loves you doesn’t try to solve all your
problems (he or she couldn’t if they tried); and neither
do you for the one you love. It is the responsibility of
each to learn to better love oneself and to stand on one’s
own. “Needy” is truly unattractive; self-actualized is
beautiful--and, in passionate love, very sexy.
The question is this: Can anyone score 100 on the above
test? Absolutely not. Imperfect humans don’t love
perfectly. However, if the person you’re wondering
about washed out completely on questions of respect or
clearly showed up as narcissistic, I would not count on
that person to fulfill your basic needs for love.
Despite the passionate side of romantic love, perhaps
it would be wise to heed Shakespeare’s priest: “Love
moderately. Long love doth so.” When I see loving
couples married for 65 years who seem to have made
it past the pitfalls of marriage, or friends who have
held on past betrayals, and mothers and daughters who
have reunited despite old hurts and misunderstandings,
I wish, with my whole heart, that we could learn “to
love moderately,” and, with a much greater chance, for
always.
VOLUME 8 ISSUE 15
21
minutes of advertisements that began at the posted time
for the actual movie to begin. Ms. Chen Xiaomei is requesting a refund (equivalent of about $5.20) plus damages of an equal amount, plus the equivalent of about 15
cents for “emotional” damages -- plus an apology.
-- In an April journal article, University of
East Anglia professor Brett Mills denounced the 2009
British TV documentary series “Nature’s Great Events”
on the ground that the program’s omnipresent and intrusive video cameras violated animals’ privacy. “(The
animals) often do engage in forms of behavior which
suggest they’d rather not encounter humans,” he wrote,
“and we might want to think about equating this with a
desire for privacy.”
by Chuck Shepherd
Modern Mummies: New York City artist Sally Davies
offered in October the latest evidence of how unattractive today’s fast foods are to bacteria and maggots.
Davies bought a McDonald’s Happy Meal in April, has
photographed it daily, and has noted periodically the
lack even of the slightest sign of decomposition. Her
dog, who circled restlessly nearby for the first two days
the vittles were out, since then has ignored it. (Several bloggers, and filmmaker Morgan Spurlock, have
made discoveries similar to Davies’.) Food scientists
“credited” a heavy use (though likely still within FDA
guidelines) of the preservative sodium propionate but
also the predominance of fat and lack of moisture and
nutrients -- all of which contribute to merely shrinking
and hardening the burger and fries.
Compelling Explanations
-- Maybe Just Safekeeping It for a Friend:
Raymond Roberts, 25, was arrested in Manatee County,
Fla., in September after an ordinary traffic stop turned
up a strong smell of marijuana. At deputies’ behest,
Roberts removed a baggie of marijuana from his buttocks, but when the deputies saw another plastic bag
right behind it (containing a white substance believed
to be cocaine), Roberts said, “The weed is (mine),” but
“(t)he white stuff is not ....”
-- Firefighter Richard Gawlik Jr. was terminated by Allentown, Pa., in August for abusing sick
leave after he posted his daily golf scores on a public
website during three days in which he had called off
from work. Allentown firefighters’ contract allows
them up to four consecutive days’ sick leave without
a doctor’s note, and given their shift schedule of four
days on, four days off, a four-day, undocumented sick
call effectively means a 12-day holiday -- a pattern that
describes 60 percent of all firefighter “sick” days, according to an analysis by the Allentown Morning Call.
(Gawlik’s union president said the union would appeal
and that “playing golf was well within the guidelines of
(Gawlik’s illness).”)
-- Woody Will Smith, 33, was convicted in
September of murdering his wife after a jury in Dayton,
Ky., “deliberated” about 90 minutes before rejecting his
defense of caffeine intoxication. Smith had claimed that
his daily intake of sodas, energy drinks and diet pills
had made him temporarily insane when he strangled his
two-timing wife with an extension cord in 2009, and
made him again not responsible when he confessed
the crime to police. (In May 2010, a judge in Pullman,
Wash., ordered a hit-and-run driver to treatment instead
of jail, based on the driver’s “caffeine psychosis.” Some
doctors believe the condition can kick in with as little
as 400 mg of caffeine daily -- an amount that, given
America’s coffee consumption, potentially portends a
sky-high murder rate.)
-- An Iowa administrative law judge ruled in
September that former police officer William Bowker
of Fort Madison deserved worker’s compensation even
though he had not been “laid off” but rather fired -- for
having an affair with the wife of the chief of police.
Although the city Civil Service Commission had denied him coverage (based in part on other derelictions,
such as sleeping and drinking on duty and refusing to
attend a class on search warrants), the judge ruled that
Bowker’s dismissal seemed too much like improper retaliation for the affair.
I Demand My Rights
-- A lawyer in Xian, China, filed a lawsuit in
September against a movie house and film distributor
for wasting her time -- because she was exposed to 20
22
Bright Ideas
-- British entrepreneur Howard James, who
runs several online dating sites, opened another in August to worldwide attention (and, allegedly, thousands
of sign-ups in the first five days): dates for ugly people.
James said new members (accepted from the UK, the
USA, Canada, Australia and Ireland) will have their
photos vetted to keep out “attractive” people. (Based on
the web pages available at press time, the photo-evaluation process is working well.)
-- Beyond “MacGyver”: Keith Jeffery’s
book on the British intelligence service MI6, published
in September and serialized in The Times of London, revealed that the first chief of the SIS (Secret Intelligence
Service) during World War I recommended, as the best
invisible ink, semen, in that it “would not react to (inkdetecting) iodine vapor” and was, of course, “readily
available.”
Super-Exclusive Addresses
(1) Mr. Hamen Vile was transferred from
Gulgong Hospital in Australia, in August, to another
about 30 miles away after Gulgong was discovered with
dangerous levels of asbestos. Vile had lived full-time
at Gulgong since 1952, when he suffered an accidental gunshot in the back. (2) Recently, MSNBC and The
New York Times discovered that 104-year-old Montana
copper-mine heiress Huguette Clark has cloistered herself for the last 20 years in an ordinary room at an unnamed New York City hospital. All of Clark’s affairs are
handled by an attorney who has almost no contact with
her but oversees her three well-maintained estates in
Connecticut, Santa Barbara (Calif.) and New York City,
worth, respectively, $24 million, $100 million and $100
million.
Least Competent Criminals
Overconfident: (1) Xavier Ross, 19, passing
by a piano at an art exhibit in front of the Grand Rapids,
Mich., police station in October, could not resist sitting down to play a few notes -- and was arrested when
officers recognized him from a recent home invasion
case. (2) Selma Elmore, 44, was arrested in Lockland,
Ohio, in October when she flagged down a police car to
ask if there was an arrest warrant out on her. (Officers
checked; there was; she ran; the warrant was minor; “resisting arrest” was more serious.) (3) Jason Williams,
38, was convicted in Maidenhead, England, in October
of stealing a neighbor’s window curtains, which he had
immediately installed on his own windows -- in plain
view of the neighbor’s window.
David Winkelman, 48, was arrested in Davenport, Iowa,
in September on a misdemeanor warrant, still sporting
“The Tattoo.” In late 2000, Winkelman, reacting to a
radio “contest,” had his forehead inked with the logo
of radio station KORB, “93 Rock,” because he had
heard on-air personalities “offer” $100,000 to anyone
who would do it. Winkelman had the tattoo done before checking, however, and the disk jockeys later informed him that the “contest” was a joke. (Winkelman
filed a lawsuit against the station, but it was dismissed.
Ten years later, the “93 Rock” format has expired, but
Winkelman’s forehead remains busily tattooed.)
Government in Action!
-- For most of 2010, California’s dysfunctional legislature could find no acceptable tax increases
or spending cuts to keep the state from going broke, and
only in October did it manage to cobble together enough
pie-in-the-sky bookkeeping tricks to create the illusion
of a balanced budget. Nonetheless, the legislature has
been busy. It created a “Motorcycle Awareness Month”
and a “Cuss Free Week,” considered changing the official state rock, and made it illegal to use non-California
cows in the state’s marketing materials (a decision that
entailed five committee votes and exhausted eight legislative analyses, according to a September Wall Street
Journal report).
-- At a U.S. Senate committee grilling in
September, the head of enforcement of the Securities
and Exchange Commission admitted that not a single
agency staff member has been fired or demoted over the
multiple missed signals handed to them in some cases
11 years before the Ponzi schemes of Bernard Madoff
and R. Allen Stanford were uncovered. Sen. Christopher
#102810111710
Dodd of Connecticut said it appeared that “one side of
the agency was screaming that there was a fire,” but the
other side of the agency demurred because putting it out
would have been hard work.
-- The Prudential Financial corporation,
holder of life insurance contracts on U.S. troops, modified the standard payout method in 1999 -- by encouraging beneficiaries to take not lump sums but “checking
accounts” on which survivors could draw down proceeds “as needed.” Though this arrangement obviously
benefited Prudential, it was unclear to Bloomberg News
(which broke the story in September 2010) why the Department of Veterans Affairs had endorsed it -- implicitly in 1999 and then in writing in September 2009.
-- Among the Medicare billings only recently discovered as fraudulent (after being paid): (1)
Brooklyn, N.Y., proctologist Boris Sachakov was paid
for performing 6,593 hemorrhoidectomies and other
procedures over a 13-month period -- an average of 18
every day, 365 days a year (and 6,212 more than the
doctor who billed the second-highest number). (2) Two
Hialeah, Fla., companies, “Charlie RX” and “Happy
Trips,” between them billed Medicare $63,000 for penis
pumps -- including a total of four to the same patient (by
the way, a woman).
Great Art!
-- In October, the award-winning London
theater company Duckie announced plans for a June
2011 production, “Lullaby,” at the Barbican Pit, that
would feature music and performances so soothing that
patrons will be encouraged to attend in pajamas and
lounge overnight in bed-seats, with an early morning
shower included in the ticket price of 42 pounds ($66).
Producer Simon Casson noted that, irrespective of the
play, it is almost impossible to find overnight facilities
in central London for that price.
-- A September one-woman “dance” recital
of performer-writer Ann Liv Young as a naked “Cinderella” at a theater in Brooklyn, N.Y., ran overtime
because Young could not answer a scripted call of nature, which was to have been performed live on stage.
According to an incredulous New York Times reviewer,
Young sought tips from the audience to get her bowels
moving but finally gave up and ended the performance.
The reviewer cited the show’s “many layers of failure.”
Names Recently in the News
-- (1) People with tough times ahead: Donald
N. Duck, 51 (arrested for DUI, Massillon, Ohio, June).
Lord Jesus Christ, 50 (pedestrian injury, Northampton,
Mass., May). Tara Wang (marrying Austin DeCock in
Moorhead, Minn., in October). (2) Police saw them
coming: Jerry Dick, 46 (pleaded guilty to indecent exposure, Greensboro, N.C., August). Kermit Butts, 26
(arrested in the slaying of Samuel Boob, Madisonburg,
Pa., August). Cum Starkweather, 56 (arrested for prostitution, Springfield, Ohio, August). (3) Keeping the
name but making all municipal signs theft-proof: Shitterton village in Dorset County, England.
Chutzpah!
-- (1) The ski-mask-wearing armed robber
who knocked off a Wendy’s in Atlanta on July 31 has
not been apprehended, but police said he later called
the store to ridicule the staff for having so little cash:
“(N)ext time, there better be more than $586.” (2) Ronald White, 35, was arrested in Cinnaminson, N.J., in
July, and charged with shoplifting, and was released
after posting $400 bail. Only afterward did police realize that some of the money was counterfeit, but five
days later, White was re-arrested when he returned to
the station to demand a partial refund for “overpaying”
the bail.
Least Competent Dictator
-- In September, when Ms. Nomatter Tagarira was sentenced to 39 months in jail for fraud, Zimbabwe President Robert Mugabe and several officials
were hoping to close the book on an embarrassing episode. Tagarira had convinced them in 2007 that she had
the ability, by chanting into a rock, to find diesel fuel in
the ground and make it shoot to the surface. Of course,
this could only be accomplished by Tagarira’s having
henchmen behind bushes using a pump, but apparently
it worked, as she was rewarded with a $2.7 million fee
and given use of a 50-vehicle convoy for her dowsing
missions. Her ruse was not discovered until a year later.
Least Competent Criminals
-- No Time for Disguises: Larry Shawn Taylor, 18, was arrested in Seattle in September, having
been rather easily identifiable when police stopped him.
Two victims had reported being robbed by a man with
“GET MONEY” shaved into his haircut on one side
and “GET” tattooed on his right hand and “MONEY”
tattooed on the left. (At least Taylor did not claim that
someone else must have had the same configuration.)
VOLUME 8 ISSUE 15
Undignified Deaths
-- (1) A 49-year-old Bakersfield, Calif., doctor, whose relationship with her boyfriend was described
as “on-again, off-again,” was killed in August when, after he had locked her out of his house, she tried to enter
by sliding down the chimney, where she got stuck and
asphyxiated. (2) A 29-year-old man, in a group of 12
“ghost hunters” on a field trip in Iredell County, N.C., in
August, was killed by a speeding train. The 12 were investigating a rumored “ghost train” that killed 30 people
in an 1891 crash and supposedly returns every year on
the anniversary date.
-- More Creative Alternate-Site Surgery: Doctors from
the University of California, San Diego, and the University of Washington announced in September that they
could just as well handle certain brain surgeries by access not in the traditional way through the top of the
skull but by drilling holes in the nose and, more recently,
the eye socket. (Since classic brain surgery requires that
the top of the skull be temporarily removed, the breakthroughs mean fewer complications.) These innovations
follow on the inroads in recent years in performing kidney-removal and gall-bladder surgery not by traditional
abdominal incisions but through, respectively, the vagina and the anus.
The Continuing Crisis
-- In a heartwarming climax to an adopted
son’s emotional search for his birth mother (who gave
him up for adoption 33 years ago), Richard Lorenc of
Kansas managed to track down mom Vivian Wheeler,
62, living in Bakersfield, Calif., where she is retired - as a circus-sideshow “bearded lady” (the result of
hypertrichosis, also known as “werewolf syndrome”).
Lorenc said he can see their similarities right through
Wheeler’s beard, which she keeps now at a length of 11
inches. The relationship was to be confirmed by a DNA
test paid for by the Maury Povich TV show, but at press
time, the result had not been announced.
-- Sports Fans Over the Line: (1) Marie
Murphy, a fifth-grade teacher in Stratford, N.J., and
her husband lost almost everything in a house fire in
April, but when she arrived at the burning home, she
defied firefighters and dashed inside to retrieve a single
prized possession: her Philadelphia Phillies season tickets. “My husband was so mad at me...” (Later, a Phillies representative gently informed her that the team
would have reprinted her tickets for free.) (2) Justin
Witcombe, 31, showed a reporter in Geelong, Australia,
in September his full body of tattoos of his three idols
in life: boxer Mike Tyson, the rock group KISS, and his
local Collingwood soccer team, whose mascot is inked
prominently on Witcombe’s penis.
-- At least 13 percent of U.S. teenagers report having intentionally injured themselves as cries
for help, and among the more extreme manifestations is
“embedding” -- the insertion of glass, wood, metal and
other material, just under the skin. Writing in the October issue of the journal Radiology, a doctor at Nationwide Children’s Hospital in Columbus, Ohio, followed
up on 11 cases involving 76 self-embedded objects in
arms, neck, feet and hands, including an astonishing 35
placed by one boy (staples, parts of a comb, parts of a
fork).
-- Jennifer Tesch’s daughter, Kennedy, was
kicked off her cheerleader squad (supporting a youth
flag-football team) in Madison Heights, Mich., after
complaining to her mother about the saucy language
of one of the cheers in the girls’ repertoire: “Our backs
ache!/Our skirts are too tight!/We shake our booties!/
From left to right!” Kennedy and Jennifer thought that
was inappropriate, considering that Kennedy is 6 years
old. The team, given the chance to renounce the cheer,
voted in September to keep it and instead to punish Kennedy for taking the dispute public.
Bright Ideas
-- The older the religion, the seemingly more
likely its practitioners are to adopt clever workarounds
to theological obligations that modern society has rendered inconvenient. Orthodox Jews are among the most
creative, as News of the Weird has demonstrated, reporting their imaginative treatments of divorce rituals
and expanding the concept of the “home” in which practitioners must remain during the Sabbath. In September,
in preparation for the Yom Kippur holy day, caffeine
addicts -- traditionally hard-hit by the day’s fasting requirement that prohibits ingesting anything “by mouth”
-- reportedly made a run on drug stores in Jewish neighborhoods in Brooklyn, N.Y., to buy caffeine suppositories.
-- A Breakthrough in Political Campaign
Send your Weird News to [email protected]
or P.O. Box 18737, Tampa, FL 33679.
COPYRIGHT 2006 CHUCK SHEPHERD
DISTRIBUTED BY
UNIVERSAL PRESS SYNDICATE
4520 Main St., Kansas City, Mo. 64111;
(816) 932-6600
THE VALLEY PLANET
Need a pet sitter? “If you’re not home to
play Mommy or Daddy, Auntie Jen will take
care of your furry family.” Detailed info at
auntiejenpetsitter.com, or call (256) 566-2020,
5am-9pm, 7 days/wk.
Employment
A CLASSIFIED AD WITH THE VALLEY PLANET GETS YOU:
A line ad (up to 30 words) in print in the Valley Planet for one issue (3 weeks).
Internet ads for 3 weeks on The Daily Classifieds.com, CraigsList, LYCOS Classifieds,
Oodle, myspace classifieds, military.com, Google Base, (Real Estate classifieds will
additionally be on Google Maps Real Estate Listings, Zillow.com, trulia and Rentals
will also be on hotpads.com.) SERVICE INCLUDES DAILY VIEWER REPORTS.
ALL THIS FOR $40. Employment ads, Rentals, Items for Sale, etc…
Real Estate
Rental Properties
Homes For Sale
View 100s of Real Estate & Open House Listings
TheDaily Classifieds @ www.ValleyPlanet.com
View all rental listings with complete details &
pictures The Daily Classifieds @ www.ValleyPlanet.com
Athens, AL – Home For Sale
3 BR-2.5 Baths- 3 Acres
Teresa Osburn - Rise Real Estate
256-300-0028
Huntsville SE - House
32BD – 2 Bath - $1025
Philip Winburn- 256-797-4570
Rosenblum Realty
Decatur – House
2BD – 1.5 Bath - $89,900
Helen Holland – 256-350-9676
ERA Ben Porter Real Estate
Madison AL- Rental Home
34BD – 2 Bath - $995
Philip Winburn- 256-797-4570
Rosenblum Realty
Huntsville- House
3BD –2Bath - $255,000
Philip Winburn – 256-797-4570
Rosenblum Realty
Pets
Sparky is an energetic
“monkey boy”! He
loves toys and climbing but also really
loves to be held. This
gorgeous kitten rescue is approximately
8 weeks old and has
been neutered. $25
donation to a local
animal non profit organization. Call 531- 5846 after
5:30 pm
Madison – House
4BD – 5 Bath - $614,900
Thelma Dawson – 256-830-8900
Summit Realtors
Madison AL – Condo
2BD – 2 Bath - $79,000
Linda Bole – 256-508-9970
Rosenblum Realty
The Valley Planet Music Exchange is FREE to
any individual (not businesses) looking to
buy, sell, trade or find bandmates. You get a
headline and 3 lines of text for FREE! Please
call (256) 533-4613 or email your ads to
[email protected].
Beatles Tribute band seeking a ‘George’ for shows.
Contact James (256) 783-7444, [email protected] or
Tim (256) 417-3932.
Original band seeks horn player(s). Eclectic rhythmic songs mixing reggae, soul, celtic, funk, rock and
second line. Seasoned local players consisting of
bass, drums, guitar, keys and vocals. We have a set
and are ready to play out. Call 256.361.5524.
Drummer Needed- Must have firm Funk/Rock/Blues
background for a Blues/Rock Artist that already has
1 album released and has been on several National
Tours. Currently Booking October dates for regional
touring. Must be available to gig 3-4 times a week.
Please call Josh at 402-309-0113. At least a few years
gigging experience is a must.
“Keybdist/Gtrist/Singer (Huntsville) seeks tight and
strong drummer and bassist (one of whom should
sing) for origs, select covers. Style is rock/blues/jazzy,
ala Sting, Dire Straits, Clapton. Tons of killer material.
Objective is live playing, plus recording and songwriting -also, to add a complementary fourth member.
Contact Joe at 256-715-0719 (corrected from last
issue’s wrong number) to discuss or leave message, or
831-331-7006 (cellphone).”
THE VALLEY PLANET
Seeking Huntsville hand/world drummers for
better communication on local drumming. If you
play,know of or wannabe, visit & join free local
Facebook group: Bangin’ Away. . .Hand Drum &
Percussion.
Daisy Rock Guitar,$300. Stardust Elite Guitar has a
lightweight mahogany body w/pearloid top and a 22fret, 24 ¾ scale set-in, slim profile, mahogany neck with
rosewood fingerboard and piano key inlays. Includes
high output humbuckers, master volume, master
tone-tap, 3-way selector, and Grover tuners.In Great
Condition, Great Beginner guitar for everyone smaller
frets fit for a womans hand. [email protected] or
256-777-5335
Producer/Composer Looking for Reggae/RB Lead
Singer (Recording Artist) Looking for Versatile lead
Singer for Reggae/RB Album and Band. Complete
recording studio (Album all original music). Perform
vocals and write lyrics for unfinished tracks. Contact at
714-5089. [email protected]
The U.S. Space and Rocket Center is now
accepting applications for Space Camp
Counselors to begin in January and February
2011. No previous knowledge necessary, we will
teach you everything you need to know. Come
enjoy a unique, inspiring and unforgettable
work environment! For all the details and to
apply go to www.spacecamp.com/counselors.
AA/EOE • Substance Abuse Testing
Mechanically inclined CDL Drivers to transport
various vehicles throughtout the United States.
931 563-3159 or 931 273-1877. mhibdon1@
yahoo.com
Send in your random encounters today. It’s
FREE!! We are putting all the categories
together since it seems like there are always
more jeers than anything else!! But just to give
you an idea of what the To Yuno from Yunohoos
are about… I Saw you: but you didn’t catch my
name, You saw me or you think you were seen:
Cheers: Pay your respect to those who deserve
it and of course Jeers: Frustrated? Tell us all
about it. Thankfully, we don’t know who you
are!
Dan – are you out there? Where? We need our
extra dirty, nasty martinis. The recipe just isn’t the
same. You holding out on us? Mark said maybe.
To send in your FREE ad
1. Keep your word limit to 40 words. No names,
just initials if you want.
2. Meet the deadline.
3. Get it to us: Put “To Yuno from Yunohoo”
in the subject line of the email and send to
classifi[email protected].
Nick’s is the best food for the money in town.
Sponsor me, please. My beautiful wickedness is
melting from too much water and too little bread.
R.
To the cutest guy in my UAH English class. You
may or may not be gay, but thanks for letting me
stare at you in class anyway. SS
Mary, I love you. It was my first... Love and lust,
Jane.
Rover, I giggle every time I pass your house. You
are missed in this workplace like a case of the
crabs. Yes, I’m part of the society that pays for
your succubus existence, but that’s fine as long as
I don’t have to hear that bark of a laugh. “WhutEvuh.”
CW. Wonder why everyone turns down your
lunch invitations? 1. Your incessant jabbering
on cell phone. 2. Picking your teeth at table.
3. Those little belches you think no one hears.
There’s a place for people like you. It’s called
LJS. Enjoy.
Yea Alabama, Crimson Tide, those cocks flew right
up your little brown way didn’t they? Hahahahaha.
Just beat those barners at year’s end and all will
be well. It’s kind of sad, because we, THE Ohio
State, were so looking forward to kicking your
redneck a**es in the BCS Championship game.
Looking to start sludge/stoner metal band with influences like eyehategod, weedeater, grief, etc. I play
a little guitar, bass, and drums. Looking for other likeminded, individuals (over 21) with minimal skill level
and high love of this genre. email: johnhenrysghost@
gmail.com
Screw Boise State.
Starting a band. Auditions open until March 31st,
so call me at 1-256-654-0392 or email me at [email protected] asap, if you are interested. Any musical talents welcome- no lead female
vocalists, though. that role taken.
I saw you in the park awhile back, sketching the
bridge. I dig your style, you shirtless heart-throb.
Hopefully ill catch you again. Until then, ill be
looking for you. Signed, the girl riding by.
#102810111710
Sonya, leave the car in the open or park here,
please. Hiding it next to the fence attracts more
than distracts
This arrainged marriage sucks major wiener. I got
a barker in a burka, a pig in a poke if you will.
Cheers to the morning commuters on Highway
53 who stop to let drivers onto the highway from
Douglass Rd. Thanks for thinking of others!
Nectarines are peaches without fuzz: not nearly as
tasty as the real thing.
Dammit Carol, I love you. There, I said it. Come
back, at least answer your phone.
This Ground Zero Muslim Mosque camel s**t is
really pissing me off.
TM. Fat, drunk, and unemployed is no way to
go through life. Your ninety days are up. I’m
foreclosing on this relationship.
ST, you are hotter than a fresh-forged horseshoe
in those Daisy Dukes.
DD, Enjoy your summer, fall is coming soon.
Roger, we need your Yunos. Really, and on the
QT downlow. You are good.
Cheers to the gentleman in the parking lot of the
Madison Kroger. Thank you for taking my buggy
when it started to rain. MCM
VOLUME 8 ISSUE 15
J- I’VE NEVER HAD SO MUCH FUN! LET’S
MAKE SEARCHING FOR PUMPKINS A
TRADITION :) -O
Did anyone ever tell you that you sound like
Butters on Southpark?
AJ. I’ve been thinking more about that night. I
think you put the Viagra in the wrong orifice.
23

129

Transcription

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