Monthly Support Group - First United Methodist Church of Green Bay

THE
COMPASSIONATE
FRIENDS
of Green Bay
A Bi-Monthly Newsletter
by and for Bereaved Parents
March/April 2014
Supporting Family After a Child Dies
Our
Mission
Statement:
When a child dies, at
any age, the family suffers intense pain and
may feel hopeless and
isolated. The Compassionate Friends provides highly personal
comfort, hope, and support to every family
experiencing the death
of a son or a daughter, a
brother or a sister, or a
grandchild, and helps
others better assist the
grieving family.
Miscellaneous Thoughts
As I sit here on the second Sunday of March and the start of Daylight Savings Time, I am looking out the
window and see the inches of snow still on the ground. Sure does not seem like we just turned our clocks ahead and
that Spring will be here in about 12 days. Just like for all of us at times, it does not seem like our children are really
gone from this world and our lives. But they are not with us anymore and with time flying by at times, do you ever
wonder where the time has gone or what has all happened in our lives since that tragic day? For some of us it was
just yesterday or seems like just yesterday that they left us. For others, it seems like it has been ages since they were
taken from us. One of our monthly speakers said a friend remarked to him once since his son had died, “That is
seems like a million years ago yesterday.”
As death has struck us all with the passing of our children, so too has death hit our TCF family. Phyllis
Calder a long time attendee to our meetings and formerly our Program Committee chair, lost her husband Jack, who
had been having health issues the past several years. His funeral was this past Saturday. Phyllis has been battling
some health issues of her own on top of that. Phyllis’ step-daughter drowned about 30 years ago. Phyllis has been a
mainstay at our meetings and helped re-organize the chapter along with Dave and Donna Wilkinson.
Darcie Sims, mother of “Big A” and who has been a keynote speaker and workshop presenter at TCF National Conferences in the past, passed away unexpectedly the week before. She was resting in her chair after a long
day, closed her eyes to take a nap and never woke up. We have seen many of her videos about handling and coping
with grief, especially on how to handle the holidays. Darcie was in Door County last fall doing a regional conference. Mickey and I had a chance to visit with her. We learned she was a native of Milwaukee and a big Packer
Fan. Debbie Gossen, formerly of our chapter, was in attendance. During the break, Debbie learned that her mother
had just died and Darcie was there to comfort and assist here before she left with her ex-husband to head back home
to deal with her mother’s death and funeral arrangements.
Now Jack is reunited with his daughter Lynn and Darcie with Big A and I am sure they and all our children are getting to know each other very well. I am sure Jack and Darcie are doing workshops and sharing sessions
with our children.
I also want to take this opportunity to welcome the former Door County Chapter members to our newsletter both via email and in printed copy. The Door County chapter closed as of January 1, 2014. They made a donation to us so that there members can continue to receive articles and items from TCF. I invite them to join our meetings when they are in the Green Bay area. We are in the final process of putting into place our new website. Dave
Wilkinson has been working very hard at it and he and Donna donated the fee to operate it for the first 3 years. Once
the new website is up and running, we will let you know. We should be able to post past newsletters on it and post
our current newsletter on it so you can read it as many times as you want. This will also help us save on the costs of
postage and printing as our treasury is still running low. In that regard I thank those of you that have donated to us
in the past and if you want to make a gift in memory of your child, please consider making a gift to the chapter.
Registration for the conference is now open on the National Website. Please consider attending since it is
hard to say when it might be this close to us again. But I will have more about this at future meetings and in the May
newsletter. Plus go the TCF National website to learn more about the conference.
In Peaceful Sadness, Melissa and Emily’s Mom and Dad
Steve and Mickey
Here is my wish for a Peaceful Easter and Spring and hope to see you at our next meeting.
The Green Bay Chapter of The Compassionate Friends
meets the third Thursday of each month at 7 p.m.
at First United Methodist Church, 501 Howe Street, Green Bay.
(Enter the parking lot off Monroe at Doty)
For further information contact:
Main Number: 920-370-3858
Steve Schmeisser, Chapter Leader
Joleen Krings, Programs
Sonya Fenzl, Newsletter Editor
Email: [email protected]
Steve Schmeisser, Treasurer
Sue Van Straten, Remembering our Children
Mickey Schmeisser, Remembering our Children
Carol Wautlet, Resource Coordinator
Rev. Dave Wilkinson, Chaplain
Donna Wilkinson, Remembering our Children
Phyllis Calder, Remembering our Children
E-mail: [email protected]
Monthly Support Group
Thursday, March 20, 2014 7 p.m.
Good Grief: May Love Be What You Remember the Most;
Video starting the late Darcie Sims.
Thursday, April 17, 2014 7 p.m.
Sharing Precious Memories; Bring in a photo or memento of
your child
“Thanks for the Little While” – Today our hearts are broken, our dear
friend Darcie Sims has died. Darcie was my mentor, but the story of
how she affected my life could be echoed by thousands of others in the
TCF family whose lives have been equally touched by her incredible
gift of loving guidance.
This woman was simply in a league of her own in the world of grief education. Darcie’s ability to take the complex subject of grief and simplify it so that all could easily understand it made her the best at what she
does. Her books, videos, workshops, and radio and television work have
helped tens of thousands of people find hope on their grief journey.
Darcie has been a true friend to TCF. She has served our organization as
a chapter leader and as a member of our National Board of Directors.
Her willingness to give was extraordinary as she returned to many national and regional conferences over the years to speak and present
workshops for us.
Today we offer our heartfelt condolences to Tony, Darcie’s sidekick
and the man behind the curtain keeping the Darcie Sims show on the
road all of these years. We offer our condolences to Allie and Greg and
to the junior Ms. Darcie. Oh how Darcie loved and adored her family.
Those of us who have had the honor of knowing Darcie will never forget this amazing woman. She was a superstar in our world, and though we loaned her out to the rest of the world, there was no doubt that she was
“our” superstar. Darcie was one of us, she listened to our stories, she felt our pain, she walked our walk, she
was Big A’s mom.
Darcie left you and I many treasures, she taught each of us how to laugh and cry at the same time, she taught
us that we all grieve differently and the best gift we give each other is the gift of tolerance. Darcie left us the
gift of her wonderful memories.
Many of us are in great pain today; it hurts deeply as we try to wrap our minds around such a profound loss to
our TCF family. I know Darcie would want us to take the time to grieve and be sad for our loss today…but I
am betting she would also want us to take a moment to remember that she lived…and oh boy did she live. So,
as the tears come, grab a roll of toilet paper and stick it in your pocket, at your next TCF meeting remember to
touch knees with the person next to you….and as you do these things…look upward to where Darcie is once
again holding her precious Big A and say…. “Thanks, For The Little While.”
We’re going to miss you sweet friend,
Alan Pedersen,
TCF Interim Executive Director
You can share memories on Facebook at www.facebook.com/darcie.sims.9 or via email
at [email protected].
The funeral will be on Tuesday, March 4, at Bonney Watson Funeral Home at Washington Memorial Cemetery. This is the SeaTac location at 16445 International Boulevard.
The Pen
I doubt I would have believed it
No matter how many times I was told
That at this point of time in my life
I would have more to miss than I have to hold.
It's hard to believe it's been seven years
Since I watched him walk out that door.
As I sit here now with this pen in my hand
I'm not sure what to say anymore.
He is the lens through which I view life now.
He is the reason for this pen in my hand.
His death has even altered the passing of time
I can somehow feel each grain of sand.
Somehow I am able to put in writing
Things I never dreamed I could say.
As he left this world he gave me a gift.
I never wrote much before that day.
There are days it's easier to write than others.
Somehow I begin to find my way.
This pen must be connected to my heart
It knows what I want to say.
Lately I've thought about stopping these writings
Not picking up this pen anymore.
Then in my mind I hear the sound
Of the closing of that door.
Tom Murphy
Greater Cincinnati TCF - East Chapter, OH
In Memory of my son, Brennan Murphy
Forgive Me
There's a hole where my heart used to be.
When I smile at you and say I'm okay,
Forgive me.
I know you want to help me but I turn you away,
Forgive me.
I show no interest, nor do I seem to care.
Forgive me.
For there's an emptiness now where my heart used to be.
Alannah McGregor
TCF Victoria, AU
In Memory of my daughter and son, Angela and Stuart
Deepest Sympathies to Phyillis Calder for the
recent loss of her husband. Our hearts are
with you in this time of sorrow. Hold tight to
memories for comfort, lean on your friends
for strength, and always remember how
much you are cared about.
Much Love ,
The Compassionate Friends of Green Bay
Normal day, let me be aware of the treasure
you are.
Let me learn from you, love you, savor you,
bless you before you depart.
Let me not pass you by in quest of some rare
and perfect tomorrow.
Let me hold you while I may, for it will not
always be so.
One day I shall dig my nails into the earth, or
bury my face in the pillow,
or stretch myself taut, or raise my hands to the sky,
and want more than all the world for your return. ~
by Mary Jean Irion
Letting Go
Recently I received an award for volunteering in the community. I was honored to receive it. Some of the people in my life mentioned that it looked like I had “let go” of the pain of losing my child. “Let go?” Of course, they don’t
understand.
But when the award was mentioned at our monthly Compassionate Friends meeting, a bereaved mother made
an interesting observation that touched my heart and reminded me why I need this special group to keep me centered
and balanced.
“I remember that article you read to us last Mother’s Day….the one your son wrote about how proud he was of
you,” she said. “Wouldn’t it be great to put that article in our memory book with the newspaper article about your
award? He was right about you. He was proud of you.”
What a great idea! What a wonderful way to bring my son into my life even though he is no longer on this
plane. That’s what Compassionate Friends do…..they help to bring our children into our lives even though our children
are no longer alive. For a few hours each month, our children return to us. We’re proud parents who can share our
children’s stories and keep our children in our lives…..without explaining why we won’t be “letting go.”
Annette Mennen Baldwin
In memory of my son, Todd Mennen
TCF, Katy, TX
Love gifts Were Recently Given By:
Michael and Mary Daley in memory of Mathew
Susan Harris in memory of Lane
Renee and Doug LaViolette in Memory of Brian
Linda Zwieschowski in memory of Scott
Remembering our Children
During the two months that each newsletter covers, we include your child’s birthday and the anniversary of your child’s death — if we know
those dates. Based upon TCF National policy, we will not print the year of your child’s birth or death.
BIRTHDAYS
David Staude
(son of Irv & Bev Michaud)
Stacie Lepp
(daughter of Ginny Lepp)
Cody Strauss
(son of Debbie Strauss)
Matthew Blazek
(son of Betty & Bill Blazek)
Samantha DeLong
(daughter of Joe & Sue DeLong)
Mark Louis Starr
(son of Ruth (Patti) Schmidt)
Molly Klika Zarnoth
(daughter of Bob & Barb Klika)
Michelle (Shelly) Watke
(daughter of Martha Jolly & Tom Jolly)
Ross Andress
(Son of Rochelle and Brad Andress)
Brendan Dirkman
(Son of William Dirkman)
Kelley Calkins
(daughter of Kate Calkins)
Erin Marie Larscheid
(daughter of Maribeth & Timothy Larscheid)
Kevin Keane
(son of Mike Keane)
Heather Fuller
(daughter of Leslie Tagge)
Anne Johanski
(daughter of Judy Johanski)
Beau Baxter
(son of Laura Martens)
Tayler Nieft
(daughter of Michael & Dawn Nieft)
Bailey Hartmann
(son of Pamela Phillips)
Kali Pfaller
(Daughter of Sally Winger)
Ella Cumicek
(daughter of Chris & Rhonda Cumicek)
Parker Wendricks
(son of Darrick & Amy Wendricks)
Shawn Wendricks
(son of Darrick & Amy Wendricks)
Cezonne Upton
(son of Maria Smith & Frank Smith)
Allison Hunt Bush
(daughter of Nan & Terry Bush)
Cam Wendt
(son of Lon Wendt)
Tami (Sam) Cornelius
(daughter of Brenda Cornelius)
Loren Hubert
(son of Debbie & Butch Vander Kinter)
Steven L Vosters
(son of Patti & Marvin Vosters)
Mike Quinette
(son of Carol Quinette)
3/01
3/01
3/02
3/03
3/03
3/04
3/06
3/06
3/07
3/08
3/11
3/11
3/12
3/14
3/16
3/17
3/18
3/20
3/20
3/21
3/21
3/21
3/23
3/23
3/24
3/25
3/26
3/26
3/26
Lane Harris
3/27
(son of Susan Harris)
Andrew (Andy) Short
3/29
(son of Barbara Short)
Matthew Daley
4/01
(son of Mary Daley)
Brandon Ross
4/02
(son of Jeff & Patti Ross)
Hannah Lynn Flauger
4/02
(daughter of Daniel Flauger)
Rick Strombach
4/02
(son of Donna Strombach)
Jason Ison
4/04
(son of Rene Ison)
Scott Zwieschowski
4/04
(son of Linda Zwieschowski)
Elizabeth Turek Bigley
4/06
(daughter of Albert & Mary Turek)
Mylisa Klapatch
4/06
(daughter of Dennis Klapatch & Tamara Walker)
Christopher Voght
4/08
(son of Tammy Viegut & Timm Gay)
Craig Kozloski
4/09
(son of Bobbie & David Kozloski)
Jason Kurey
4/09
(son of Deb Kurey)
Cody Green
4/10
(son of Dan & Gwen Green)
Brandon Scheider
4/10
(son of Deb Scheider)
Kevin Kazik
4/11
(son of Sally Kazik & Charlie Kazik)
Tammie Gustman
4/12
(daughter of Victoria Fifield & Marvin Gustman)
Brent Rosner
4/12
(son of Tina Rosner)
Rebekah Puzen
4/14
(daughter of Larry Puzen & Carol Schroeder-Puzen)
Jacob Peters
4/15
(son of Jerry & Natalie Peters)
Joel Bagneski
4/19
(son of Bill & Kelly Bagneski)
Nathan Jarosinski
4/21
(son of Mark & Jean Jarosinski)
Jeffrey Van Lieshout
4/21
(son of Dave & Connie Van Lieshout)
Joshua Calaway
4/24
(son of Bonnie Calaway)
Kaitlyn Marie Schley
4/24
(daughter of Jon & Ann Schley)
Justin Plate
4/25
(son of Mark & Grace Plate)
Katie Zeitler
4/26
(daughter of Vickie & Mike Radue)
Ryan Bader
4/26
(son of Mark & Cheryl Bader)
Catherine Strom Schmidt
4/30
(daughter of Pete & Karen Strom)
anniversaries
Mike Neddo
3/01
(son of Debra Neddo)
Matthew Blazek
3/03
(sonn of Betty & Bill Blazek)
Elizabeth Turek Bigley
3/13
(daughter of Albert & Mary Turek)
Erin Marie Larscheid
3/14
(daughter of Maribeth & Timothy Larscheid)
Michelle (Shelly) Watke
3/15
(daughter of Martha Jolly & Tom Jolly)
Josh Gilson
3/17
(son of Ron & Cindy Gilson)
Beau Baxter
3/17
(son of Laura Martens)
Alexia Prosecky
3/18
(daughter of Wayne & Jennifer Prosecky)
Michelle Schmidt
3/18
(daughter of Diane Kroll)
Rebekah Puzen
3/19
(daughter of Larry Puzen & Carol Schroeder-Puzen)
Bryan VanderKelen
3/20
(son of Bob & Debi Lepak)
Julie Sarah Smits
3/20
(daughter of Jeane Smits)
Parker Wendricks
3/21
(son of Darrick & Amy Wendricks)
Shawn Wendricks
3/21
(son of Darrick & Amy Wendricks)
Debra Mier
3/22
(daughter of Anna & Frank Mier)
Hunter Vincent
3/24
(son of Steven & Dawn Vincent)
Tayler Nieft
3/24
(daughter of Michael & Dawn Nieft)
Luke Watzka
3/24
(son of Rita & Marty Watzka)
Randy Blezek
3/25
(son of Betty & Bill Blazek)
Dustin Wilkinson
3/29
(son of Dave & Donna Wilkinson)
Kayla Lego
4/02
(niece of Christine & Tim Newtols)
Andy Bell
4/02
(son of Patrick & Debbie Bell)
Joshua Calaway
4/02
(son of Bonnie Calaway)
Mike Quinette
4/02
(son of Carol Quinette)
Hannah Lynn Flauger
4/03
(daughter of Daniel Flauger)
Nicholas Resch
4/04
(son of Lynn & Steve Marcks)
Rick Strombach
4/06
(son of Donna Strombach)
Eric Barlament
4/07
(son of Jim Barlament & Penny Maraccini)
Justice Delveaux
4/07
(daughter of Sarah Wirtz)
Wendy Johnson
(daughter of Tom & Debbie Johnson)
Amy Laedke
(daughter of Debra & Fred Laedtke)
Shannon Saldana
(daughter of JoAnn Koss)
Jon Daniel Strawser
(son of Brenda Choat)
Shane Lardinois Malliet
(son of Debbie Lardinois)
Jared Gehm
(son of Mary Gehm)
Travis Christenson
(son of Cherie Oettinger)
Kaitlyn Marie Schley
(daughter of Jon & Ann Schley)
Marisa Nelson
(daughter of Amy Nelson)
Andrew (Andy) Short
(son of Barbara Short)
Doug Kwiatkowski
(son of Dave & Theresa Kwiatkowski)
Mike Smith
(son of Dave Smith)
Paige Franklin
(Granddaughter of Judy and Chuck Dams)
Catherine Strom Schmidt
(daughter of Pete & Karen Strom)
Dalon Calkins
(son of Kate Calkins)
Evan Van Lanen
(son of Dan & Peg Van Lanen)
Jesse Mason
(son of Jeff Mason & Janice Yglesias)
Crystal (Falish) Peterson
(daughter of Steve & Darlene Enderby)
Previous Newsletter Omission:
Chad Olson
(Son of Brenda Olson)
Brendan Dirkman
(Son of (William Dirkman)
4/08
4/11
4/12
4/13
4/14
4/15
4/18
4/19
4/21
4/22
4/23
4/23
4/23
4/24
4/26
4/26
4/29
4/30
1/26
2/10
I sincerely apologize for any missing dates in the
current newsletter or any newsletters previously.
If you have any questions or concerns please
feel free to contact myself or anyone listed on
the front page of this newsletter.
Kind Regards,
Sonya Fenzl
ANNOUNCEMENTS, COMMENTS, & MISC.
SAVE THE DATE: The Compassionate Friends is pleased to announce that Chicago,
Iliinois, will be the site of the 37th TCF National Conference July 11-13, 2014. "Miles of
Compassion through The Winds of Hope" is the theme of next year's event,
which promises more of this year's great national conference experience. The 2014
conference will be held at the Hyatt Regency O'Hare in Rosemont, just minutes from
the airport. We'll keep you updated with details here, on the national website as well
as on our TCF/USA Facebook Page and elsewhere as they become available. Plan to
come and be a part of this heartwarming experience.
Volunteers are always needed for this very special conference. If you would like to
volunteer, please call the National Office at 877.969.0010.
A variety of sponsorships are available. For additional information, please
contact us at the above number.
The TCF Green Bay chapter
would like to sponsor the
Reflection Room as we did in
Minneapolis in 2011. It will
cost $750. We already have
a $100 donation earmarked
for the 2014 conference in
Chicago. If you wish to donate to the Reflection Room
please note it on your check
or the donation form.
No more Newsletters!!
The TCF Green Bay Treasury is running low. To save on costs we are trying to send out more
electronic newsletters. This may be the last newsletter that we stamp and mail. To ensure that
we have all of your email addresses please make sure to contact a member of the chapter!!
Help support the work of our Local Chapter with a tax-deductable gift!
The Compassionate Friends of Green Bay depends on the voluntary contributions of those who themselves have been helped by
TCF, as well as those who believe in our mission. Please consider supporting TCF-Green Bay in its work of providing support and
resources for families who have experienced the death of a child.
Name: ______________________________________________________
Address: ______________________________________________________
______________________________________________________
In memory of: ____________________________________________________
TCF is a 501(c)(3) organization. All donations are tax deductable .
THE
COMPASSIONATE
FRIENDS
of Green Bay
Supporting Family After a Child Dies
PO Box 211
Green Bay, WI 54305
THE
COMPASSIONATE
FRIENDS
of Green Bay
Supporting Family After a Child Dies
PO Box 211
Green Bay, WI 54305
Our monthly
support group
meets next on:
Thursday,
March 20, 2014
at 7 p.m.
at First United
Methodist Church,
off Monroe at Doty.
Call 920-370-3858
for information.
We need not walk alone!
OTHER TCF CONTACT INFORMATION
The TCF of Kewaunee County Chapter meets at 7:00 p.m. on the third Tuesday of the month at the Casco branch of the
Bank of Luxemburg. (across from the Village Kitchen) Use west facing doors on the left. Call Dorothy Konop at 920-8638003 or Kathy Benes at 920-837-2869 for information.
Oneida, WI, has a chapter. They meet the 3rd Tuesday of each month from 6:30pm at Parish Hall – 2937 Freedom Road,
Oneida, WI. Contact Jean Williquette at 920-469-4135 for more information.
Oshkosh, WI has now reopened their chapter. They meet the 3rd Wednesday of each month at 6:00 pm at Galow Metal
Products, 2685 Universal St, Oshkosh, WI 54904-8939.
To contact the National Organization:
The Compassionate Friends, Inc.
P.O. Box 3696,
Oak Brook, Illinois 60522-3696
Phone Toll-free: 877-969-0010
Web site: www.compassionatefriends.org
To contact the TCF Regional Coordinator:
Jim Staniforth
4705 Eisenhower St.
Oregon, WI 53575
Phone: 608-835-7493
Resources for Siblings: The national organization of TCF has resources for siblings. Visit the online Sibling Resources Page at
www.compassionatefriends.org