Issue #12 - Tom Sadowski

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A newsletter for those who ride down icy chutes on bent pieces of wood.
· Issue #12 · Write us at 246 Main Street, Lincolnville, Maine 04849 · December 2004
The Nationals: Big
Changes Happen,
Bigger Changes
Planned
Racers Buy Up NonRegulation Toboggans at
L.L.Bean
Does David Dickey Have anything to do with this?
By 7pm Friday before the Nationals, Sue Chase, who was
inspecting and certifying toboggans for the race, had already
rejected two brand new toboggans for being too narrow. Where
did these toboggans come from? New teams, on their way
north, stopped at Freeport and bought many of them at
L.L.Bean.
Every year shiny new L.L.Bean toboggans are rejected
because they are too narrow to meet the standards of the
Nationals. In 2003, a total of 14 toboggans were rejected (for
various reasons). The rules state that the toboggan must be 16
to 18 inches wide and 7 to 12 feet in length. L.L.Bean Toboggans are 15-3/4 inches wide but that hasn’t always been the
case. Fresh Bait, a US Coast Guard team, has been using two
old L.L.Bean toboggans that measure 16-1/2 inches wide.
(However the Times has not been able to verify their identity,
especially since Fresh Bait is not on the team register so the
previous statement has to be taken as “hearsay from an undisclosed source”.)
To get the real story, the Toboggan Times contacted Ms. M.
Hensley at L.L.Bean. Being company savvy, she quickly
distanced herself from such a questionable publication as ours
and put us in touch with Steve Monahan, a production engineer at L.L.Bean.
See L.L.Bean Page 3
David Dickey is a man on a mission. You know David, he is
the guy at the top of the chute during the Nationals with the
headset and microphone that gives the OK to send you and your
toboggan toward oblivion. When Chip Taylor stepped down as
head of the Camden Parks and Recreation Department (and the
Snow Bowl) last May, it was a sign to Dickey that the winds of
change were blowin’.
Dickey has advocated for change in the way the Snow Bowl
operates the Nationals and the toboggan chute but it has been
difficult getting things past “Stonewall” Taylor. Upon Taylor’s
departure, Dickey approached the Toboggan Committee and
asked them if he could make improvements to the chute area and
the way the Nationals were run. He would work on the project
at no cost to the committee as long as the committee and the
Snow Bowl left him alone to do the work. They agreed and
Dickey, in the grand tradition of a loose cannon, hasn’t
looked back since.
He
immediately
organized
volunteer
crews to start
overhauling the
chute area. Dave
Thomas, Stewart Young
and Dickey himself
cleared trees and brush
along the chute to
improve safety, visibility
and access. Dickey
See Dicky Page 2
They’re Nice But No Good
Newcomers Surprised Every Year
oboggan T
imes Issue
In This T
Toboggan
Times
2004 Nationals Results start on page 6
Save Barry at the Nationals? , page 5
Letters to the Editor, page 8
Hal Ostrom and crew bought their too narrow
toboggan at L.L.Bean because “We were too cheap to
buy a Camden Toboggan Company toboggan” The sled
cost him $129.00. The team planned to return the
toboggan to L.L.Bean on their way back to Essex, Ct.
T OBOGGAN TIMES
From Page 1
· PAGE 2 · DECEMBER 2004
Dicky
organized local kids to build fire rings at the bottom and top of the
chute so that teams would have a more formal fire to warm themselves between runs.
The approach to the chute was redesigned so that teams now will
climb the stairs to a point above the top of the chute, split into two
lines, and then load onto the chute by coming downhill. This should
speed up
loading so
that more
runs can be
taken during
the Nationals.
In his
spare time,
Dickey
designed a
“Toboggan
Chute
Zamboni”
which is a
cooler of
water that is
drawn up the
chute on a
Dickey Shows off the business end of his
cable while it
Toboggan Chute Zamboni
lays down a
fine spray along the way. This should make for a smoother, faster
track. In addition, Dickey plans to have the chute painted “pond
water white” top, to bottom before competition begins.
The Coast Guard, says Dickey, will help keep the toboggan zone
on Hosmer Pond clear of people. This has always been a bottleneck
because toboggans at the top of the chute cannot be cleared for
release unless everyone is out of the way on the pond below.
Parking is in the
process of being redesigned. Dickey has
recruited the local Rotary
Club to direct parking
when the Nationals are
held in February.
Everything is in flux.
There will be an expanded vendor area in
the woods at the base of
the chute where Dickey
plans to attract various
businesses to cater to the Ed Socker, stands on the chute and
wants of race-goers. With explains to his crew exactly what
the help of Ed Socker and the Atkins diet did for him.
crew, the chute will be
re-leveled and tweaked back to where it was meant to be for a
straighter shot at the pond. All of the footbridges around the chute
area will be rebuilt, replaced or strengthened. Culverts will be put in
place at the chute to relieve the glaciation effect that sweeps spectators off their feet. Twelve new parking spots will be created in the
Toboggan Times is published oh, every so often, maybe twice a year, maybe just
once, by Local Yokels, a division of Yokels International and is dedicated to
maintaining a certain mix of serious racing fervor, a disdain for competitive sports,
a rational view of the world and of course, an affinity for the bizarre, absurd, and
amusing behavior of humans. Subscriptions are probably available but it's all we've
got to get this piece out let alone maintain a mailing list and keep track of who has
or hasn't paid. If you send us some money, you might get a copy. Or maybe not.
©2004 Yokels International
Publisher and Editor: Tom Sadowski
Proufreading: “Blind” Janis Kay
Data Entry:
Laine Sanderson
Write to us at 246 Main Street, Lincolnville, Maine 04849-9759. Don't try to call
us and we won't try to call you. Better yet, E-Mail Tom Sadowski at:
[email protected] or, get this, if it's up and running, visit our Web Site on
the Internet at: trytypingthisin:/nowehaven’tputtogetherawebsiteyet.com
“Paradise Parking” zone.
Dickey is also opening
up new avenues for sponsorship of the Nationals,
planning for an extension to
the top of the chute and
more festival integration
with the Camden Downtown Business Group. He
has a new hydraulic release
mechanism in the works for
Stewart Young hauls brush and
the top of the chute. Did
logs as they are cut away from
we mention that he also
the top of the chute to make way
for the new loading zone.
owns and runs the Camden
Riverhouse Hotel?
And then there are plans to bring some of the festivities to
downtown Camden. The local Chamber of Commerce is scheduling its
Winter Fest for the same weekend. Stores will be open late. The
public landing at the docks will be closed to traffic throughout the
weekend and will be the site of the snow castle building competition.
And then there
are Dickey’s plans
for the costume
parade and the
Toboggan World
Championship…
Check your 2005
program guide for
surprises. There
may be a race for all
champions from
previous years if
Dickey can put it
together. There’s no
stopping this man.
David Dickey tries to avoid Dave Thomas’
Shake his hand if
chainsaw as he slashes, Texas style,
through the undergrowth at the chute.
you see him at the
Nationals.
❄
Busted! Maslen Flett with team #175, Uptown Sorority Girls
from Portland, Maine is forced to plane down the wooden
runners on his toboggan in order to make it legal for the
Nationals. Rules allow for runners to extend no more than a
quarter inch from the base of the toboggan. The Toboggan
Committee started cracking down on sled design in 2003
although many irregularities still exist. Steve Huff from
Throbbin’ Boggins commented that he had to cut two inches
off his sled even though the same toboggan passed the
inspection last year.
TOBOGGAN TIMES
· PAGE 3 · DECEMBER 2004
From Page 1
L.L.Bean
The teams headed up by Alan Hill get interviewed by the
Outdoor Life Network crew. Members, in no particular
order, include Ed Zanka, Leslie Hill, Matt Hill, Evan Hill,
Joanne Haeberle, Maureen Littlefield, Kyleigh Dachos, Tim
Littlefield, Adam Littlefield, Matt Gilligan and one more
person whose name was noted as Jack Daniels. (Things are
bound to get screwed up with that many people involved).
Big Team Sweeps 8
Awards from 14th
Toboggan Nationals
It was a good year for the Nationals. Just like the year before,
the weather was very cold for two months leading up to the
races and then it warmed up on Friday night. Almost too warm.
It snowed. And rained. But racing conditions were good for
Saturday and the sun shone for Sunday and all was well.
There was a good deal of media coverage. Sports Illustrated
was there. The Outdoor Life Network was there, so was the
Boston Globe and all went well.
The Toboggan Committee cracked down on inspections
weighing and measuring each toboggan to make sure it met
specifications. Except for the blood on the ice here and there, all
went well.
There was a new contest won by The Mustangs for the
longest run. The spirit award went to the Rift Rafters teams
(Ernie Plummer, Sue Gilby, Carol Sebold, Vicki Harner, and
Donna Cherry) who have committed many years of enthusiasm to
the Nationals. A team from Harrisville, R.I., One Sleeve
Optional, made up of Michael Tousignant, Kevin Beaurgard and
Sean Jackson, won first place in the 3 person division. But the
big win was by a group of teams headed up by Alan Hill. They
took 2nd place in the 2 person division with a team called
White Heat 2, 2nd Place in the 3 person division with White
Heat 3, 1st place in the 4 person division with Take No Prisoners, 2nd place in the 4 person division with The Schmucks, the
fastest family team with The Bumps, fastest women’s team with
Hot Flash plus two other trophies that seemed to fall into their
lap just by sheer momentum. These are the teams to watch in
❄
2005.
The Official Toboggan Times Measurement
2004 Nationals Race Distance
423 ft,10½ in
A decrease of 0 ft. 5½ in. over the 2003 Nationals
Steve was good to talk with because he claims to know
“quite a bit” about the Nationals in Camden. He competed
at the 2001 Nationals with two L.L.Bean teams called
Screaming Beanies and Freeport Flyers. Of course if he
knew a little more than “quite a bit” his teams
wouldn’t have placed 66 th and 98 th in the 4-person
finals. The teams raced two hand built toboggans and
got what Monahan termed “very wet” in the deep
water that seeped onto the run at the end of the chute
in that year.
Never-the-less, he was the right man to talk to.
Monahan explained that L.L.Bean toboggans have
always been 7 slats wide at 2-1/4 inch per slat making
them 15-3/4 inches wide. ¼ inch short of the Nationals
minimum. Of course this is with all the slats pushed
together tight.
Over recent years, the contract to produce these
toboggans has fallen to three different companies -one
picking up where the other left off as toboggan makers
slowly went out of business. Saunders Brothers, Torpedo (who made the sleds from maple) and now SMB
from Canada all produced great quantities of toboggans
for L.L.Bean although the store won’t disclose just how
great these quantities might be. Apparently, the different manufactures may have allowed just a bit more
space between the slats which would account for the
fact that older Bean toboggans qualify. All it would take
is a 24th of an inch between slats to make up the difference.
L.L.Bean does not intend to change their specifications to accommodate the small number of sleds they
sell to competitors but Monahan has sent a memo to his
sales people to watch out for toboggan customers come
late January and early February.
“We’ll try to get the word out [to the customers] that
these toboggans won’t qualify”, he said.
The Toboggan Times has a few creative suggestions
for L.L.Bean like a product that would consist of a
single, pre-bent, toboggan slat that would come with
brackets and could be quickly screwed onto the edge so
that it would meet competition standards. L.L.Bean
could call it the “Competitor’s Edge”. For a few extra
dollars they could throw in some wood putty to fill in
the screw holes, some sandpaper and ski wax and call it
the “Competitor’s Edge - Contractor Grade”.
(The Toboggan Times is full of ideas. Stop by our office
and we will sell you as many as you like for 50 cents each.)
But all this information didn’t help Good to Go, a four
person team (Bib #195) who proudly showed up with their
new L.L.Bean machine or Hall Ostrom with TZVECL
Racing (Bib #232) who stopped in Freeport on their way
up from Essex, CT.
Asked if he planned on returning the sled to L.L.Bean,
Ostrom just half smiled and half smirked and replied
“Tomorrow”.
❄
Web Page Update
The Toboggan Times has been diligently pursuing an easy
method to get out on the web. OK, we’re a little balled up in
HTML and PDF files and IPO and PhD’s right now but we are
in the middle of a fantastic financial deal with a gentleman
from Nigeria who sent us an e-mail. Stand by. When this deal
breaks, we will own the Internet! Meanwhile, for a good time,
make sure you have the latest Flash plug in and go to http://
www.homestarrunner.com/sbemail.html
T OBOGGAN TIMES · PAGE 4 · DECEMBER 2004
Chili and Chowder Challenge 2004
Chili and Chowder
Challenge Satisfies
and Mystifies Patrons
Can you give me directions to
restaurant “F”?
“T&A are my favorites!”
(Editor’s note: From time to time, the Toboggan Times sends in its
own team of questionably qualified taste testers to check on the CCC
held during the Toboggan Nationals. Here are their reports.)
The parking lot at the Snow Bowl was filling up. I noticed that all
of the orange and white helium filled balloons meant to decorate the
hall were left stranded in large, clear, plastic bags up against the
ceiling on the lower floor awaiting deployment. After the Challenge
someone would remember that they forgot to put them up. The line
of hungry people waiting to get into the annual Chili and Chowder
Challenge grew to a hundred. Twenty minutes late, the gastronomical
fair opened the doors and let in the throngs to test the chowder and
sample the chili from nine different local eating establishments. Let
the heartburn begin!
If you took a small Dixie cup sample of every available dish, you
would have gone to your table with 20 cups on your tray plus a soda
and a bread roll. There was only room enough on most trays for a
couple of RolAids which might be a welcome addition for future
events. The offerings were wide and varied. The patrons were jovial
and conversant. It was the new balloting method, however, that
made a lot of eaters wonder just where the food they were eating was
coming from. Oh, the intentions were noble: as in previous years,
every restaurant was given a letter code to put on their Dixie cups of
chowder and chili. So far so good. However, nowhere on the ballot
was there an indication of what letter stood for which restaurant.
This was noble because it forced you to taste the cuisine without
knowing where it came from. But when all was said and done no one
knew which restaurant prepared the food.
The event was closer to a double blind scientific study rather
than a promotion for the local eateries. Even the conversation at the
table was different.
“I like ‘U’,” one burly male patron said to another grizzled eater
in a plaid shirt and suspenders.
“‘G’, that’s nice”.
“‘U’’s some smooth and don’t sting like a ‘B’.
“I’d like to go to ‘C’ but I think I have it confused with ‘U’.
From the restaurants’ point of view, the event is hardly worth the
time if the patrons walk
away after tasting their
fabulous fare but are none
the wiser as to which
restaurant might serve that
same dish. To add ignorance to injury, unless an
eater made a note of the
eatery’s letter, they would
have no idea if their
favorite foods won or not.
In a political election
this system would make a
lot more sense. Come
Chili Patron David Heath of Camden
November, by this method, ponders the wisdom of consuming 9
different kinds of chili in one night.
we would all be herded
into a room and we would
be given statements by the various candidates in Dixie cups. We
would not be told which candidate made the statement. Then we
would vote on our favorite statements. The ballots would be counted
by people with no accountability and then shredded. Before the
ballots actually made it to a dumpster, the winner would be announced and a concession speech given. Oh, excuse me, somehow I
got the Chili and Chowder ballot system confused with the national
election process, both of which leave a disquietingly similar bad taste
in my mouth.
All in all, it was good fun. Except that it was not half the fun that
it used to be when we could taste a cup of chowder, look up who was
responsible, and then announce loudly that just last summer, you
tasted road-kill stew that was more to your liking than the chowder
they’re serving up at the So and So Café. Others would agree or stand
in defense of their favorite eateries. Of course people are too full to
fight and because of the Chili, they generally agree that they can’t
taste much of the Chowder anyway.
See sidebar on the next page to find out how the Toboggan Times
rated the Chowder at the 2004 Nationals. Official results are below.
Official Results of the 2004 Chili and
Chowder Challenge
Chili
Chowder
#1 French and Brawn, #1 Marriner’s, Main St.
Camden
Camden
#2 Midcoast Culinary #2 Midcoast Culinary
Solutions, Rockport
Solutions, Rockport
#3 Come Spring Cafe, #3 Camden Deli,
Union
Main St., Camden
TOBOGGAN TIMES
Toboggan Times Rates
the 2004 Chowders
The Toboggan Times rated only the Chowder at the 2004 Nationals because we could
not get a reviewer to look over the chili for
what we were offering so we proudly present
our take on the Chowder:
#1 Code Letter T: Marriners Restaurant on Main
Street In Camden. Sweet! Good size potatoes, not
too creamy, not too thin, just fishy enough to know
you’re on the coast eating the real thing. (Closed until
March ‘05, by the way, due to fire)
#2 Code Letter F: Camden Deli on Main Street
in Camden. Good and creamy, almost too creamy but
with a flavor that satisfies and relaxes.
#3 Code Letter U; Midcoast Culinary Solutions.
Good. Not too bland, certainly not offensive. All in
all, better than the rest
#4 Code Letter M; The Waterfront Restaurant,
Bayview Street in Camden. Most different of all the
chowders, some unidentified seasonings. Would be
a favorite to some of the more adventurous.
#5 Code Letter B; McMahon’s Rockport Grill,
Route 1, Rockport. This is really fish chowder and
you know it. So when you want fish chowder, this
is it. Fish chowder, that is. With real fish.
#6 Code Letter D; Brass Compass Cafe, Main
Street Rockland. This is a chowder with, surprise,
corn and kielbasa! Hmm. This reviewer likes his
kielbasa with a side of corn on a plate and not in his
chowder. You, the reader, might like it in your chowder. I prefer it on a dry plate. But hey...
#7 Code Letter R; Megunticook Market. Camden. I like the Megunticook Market, they have great
subs and pizza and a fabulous meat counter but I’m
afraid I was attacked by the scallops in the chowder. You think we could cut them in half? And that
wasn’t a piece of chicken in there was it? I love your
pizza.
#8 Code Letter N; Brown Bag Restaurant in
Rockland. Boring! Mediocre fare from... Oh sorry,
did I doze off there? I mean the oversize scallops
and chicken were more exciting than this. I suppose on a grey day... nah.
#9 Code Letter K; Silver Lane Bistro. Of questionable yellow colour, this chowder featured
shrimp. Shrimp! From the sea. I have certain preconceived notions about chowder and this doesn’t
fit any of them. Since my wife, a very discerning
restauranteur, thought it delightful, I promised not
to use the words chemical, poison or noxious. I mean
I wouldn’t send it back, my wife would go for seconds.
❄
· PAGE 5 · DECEMBER 2004
Times Invites Dave Barry
to Nationals
Barry Responds, Sort of
OK, it was a long shot. Dave Barry has just written an article
about the sport of Petanque: a French bowling-type sport that never
takes place very far from a bar. Mr. Barry expressed amazement that
a person could get into the Petanque US Open by just paying the fee
and playing the game.
Never to be outdone by the French, the Toboggan Times invited
Mr. Barry to the Nationals:
Dear Mr. Barry,
Thank you for your superb article about the game of
Petanque. I am writing to call your attention to another
sport where a common man can get in on “The Nationals”
just by getting his entry fee in on time. This is the great
sport of tobogganing, and the National Championship is
held every year in Camden, Maine. Like Petanque, it
requires minimal exertion and to go it one better, there is no
rule that states you have to be alive to be in the competition!
As editor, publisher, writer and paperboy for the Toboggan
Times, I am enclosing two issues, free of charge, for your
perusal. I can not offer you an official invitation from The
Nationals because the official committee that puts the race
on hates me, but I can offer you a warm invitation from the
Toboggan Times to attend this years’ race on February 6th,
7th and 8th. If you choose to show up, we will put you and
your entourage up for the weekend in a fancy house on a
hill and also treat you to the annual Chili and Chowder
Challenge. (No small offer from a thrifty Yankee, we might
point out).
Please let me know if you are interested and we will turn up
the thermostat in your rooms.
Sincerely...
Judi Smith, “Assistant to Dave Barry” responded with a plain
white, 3 1/2” by 5 1/4” post card. The card was postmarked with a
postage meter on Feb. 13, 2004. While Dave Barry’s return address
was printed directly on the card, the recipient’s address was printed
on a white sticky label attached to the front of the card. On the rear
of the card was written this message in Judi Smith’s own hand in
what appears to be a black ball point pen:
“Hi TomObviously Dave didn’t get your letter in time. Sorry about
that; I hope it was fun.”
And then with a flourish, it was signed “Judi Smith”.
After the novelty of getting a hand written post card from the
assistant of a literary giant wore off, the staff at the Times began to
wonder. What did Ms. Smith mean when she started the note off
with “Obviously”? Is it obvious to her? Perhaps she delayed the
letter - and if not, why would she apologize so quickly? Did she have
anything to do with the voting in Florida last November? Is she
having pains of conscience that spill over into her work for Mr.
Barry? Did Dave Barry even get the letter or was it thrown out to the
Florida alligators and not counted as just another contested ballot.
What is her connection to Jeb Bush? To Disney World?
Finally, what does she hope was fun? The letter? Of course it was
fun and it would have been fun for Mr. Barry had he actually
received it. In order to get Dave Barry to the Toboggan Nationals, The
Times will have to devise a plan to get around Judi Smith. Stay tuned
loyal readers, Stay tuned.
❄
T OBOGGAN TIMES
· PAGE 6 · DECEMBER 2004
A Toboggan Times Opinion
National Semifinals
Results “Lost”
Every year the Toboggan Times slogs up to the office at the
Snow Bowl and reminds the staff there to save the results of the
Toboggan Nationals so that we may preserve and publish them
in this newsletter. Every year the battle to get those results
seems to grow larger. The staff is too busy or on vacation or the
results are not yet available or too lengthy to be copied at that
time. The results have never been available on disk, often they
are faxed to us and every year we have to re-enter all the results
manually.
Four years ago, the Times had to haul a copy machine over to
the Snow Bowl, take the only existing copy from the bulletin
board and copy it. Last year, numerous pleas by phone and email for all the results plus the team hometowns were ignored.
Finally, on the last day of March, the finals results were faxed to
the Times without the Semi-Final. Pursuing this, we were told
that the semifinals results were lost. The Times checked with the
official timers and followed the paper trail but it stopped at the
Snow Bowl office.
Could it be that the Snow Bowl snubs us because we are this
irreverent little publication that keeps harping on their inadequacies but just won’t die in spite of their best efforts? Could it
be that the Toboggan Committee (who considers us a persistent
nuisance because we spend our time writing and once suggested
to us that instead we should be working for the committee)
really wants us groveling at their feet for any scrap of information they may throw us?
Probably none of those scenarios tells the whole story
although they would make pretty good theatre. No, in reality,
the blame really lies in a combination of a top heavy, under
funded bureaucracy at the Snow Bowl and a poor guy at the
Toboggan Times who just wants to put out an entertaining
newsletter but just isn’t paid enough to beat his head against a
wall every year. Republicans also must have something to do
with it.
Will the new management at the Snow Bowl continue the
stonewalling or will they recognize the Toboggan Times as part
of the media community? Let’s hope they continue stonewalling
because what fun would it be being the stooge of the powers
that be?
❄
Saddam, George Bush and company celebrate at the award
ceremony. In a totally unrelated item, the 4 person team We
Go Saddam Fast, tied for 15th place in the Finals.
Thing 1, The Cat in the Hat and Thing 2 took the best
costume award with their Team #140 The Cat is Back. The
team, consisting of Kim Hess, Jay Hess and Sue Zdanowicz of
Brandford, Conn. seem to be working on a formula for
winning this event. Apparently they concentrate more on
the costume than on the toboggan. Last year they won
with the Square-pants theme as The Krusty Krew and the
year before they showed up as potato heads. Do you wonder
what these people do for a living? We do.
14th Annual Toboggan Nationals
Results, February 7&8, 2004
2 Person Finals Results
Bib
Rank No. Team
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10
11
12
13
14
15
15
17
18
18
18
21
21
23
23
25
26
27
28
29
29
31
32
33
34
35
57
35
14
13
21
52
71
80
74
2
39
25
27
58
5
79
3
6
16
41
34
37
36
60
75
12
26
17
23
53
42
81
22
30
59
Town
1st
Run
Jack Daniels Express
8.35
White Heat 2
8.42
Rotor Heads
8.52
Better Than The Rotorheads
8.54
Two Hogs & Heifers
8.76
Two Big Kahoonas
8.56
Coye Dogs
8.73
Other Two Ash Pounders
8.77
Two’s Enough
8.77
The Other 2 Throbbin Boggins
8.81
In-Laws
8.70
Oh Baby Oh Baby
8.80
Tobogquinns
8.81
2 Boyz Sleding
8.79
lil Deuce Coupe
8.74
Two Ash Pounders
8.80
2 Throbbin’ Boggins
8.75
Wholeness Counseling Hopeless Neuro8.71
Smokin’ Ash
8.87
Dead Weight Slabers
8.83
Big Boned Boggans
8.86
Frozen Rafters
8.88
Rift Rafters 2
8.74
Pains in the Ash
8.89
Denmark 1
8.90
Return of the Crash Test Dummies
8.88
The Fastest Sled
8.92
Half Ash
8.95
The Two Homers
8.99
Two Hairy Kahoonas
9.00
Turkey Trollers
8.91
The Bengtsson Brothers
9.06
Two More Hogs & Heifers
8.81
Cruizen for a Bruizen
8.86
Bodachos
8.74
2nd
Run
Combn.
Time
8.76
8.80
8.76
8.84
8.68
8.89
8.77
8.74
8.76
8.75
8.87
8.79
8.81
8.84
8.90
8.84
8.91
8.97
8.81
8.85
8.88
8.86
9.03
8.88
8.89
8.93
8.94
8.92
9.00
8.99
9.13
9.14
dns
dns
dns
17.11
17.22
17.28
17.38
17.44
17.45
17.50
17.51
17.53
17.56
17.57
17.59
17.62
17.63
17.64
17.64
17.66
17.68
17.68
17.68
17.74
17.74
17.77
17.77
17.79
17.81
17.86
17.87
17.99
17.99
18.04
18.20
TOBOGGAN TIMES
14th Annual Toboggan Nationals
February 7&8, 2004
· PAGE 7 · DECEMBER 2004
14th Annual Toboggan Nationals
February 7&8, 2004
3 Person Finals Results
4 Person Finals Results
Rank
Bib
No.
Team
1
2
3
4
4
6
7
8
9
10
11
12
13
13
15
15
17
18
18
20
20
22
23
23
25
26
27
28
29
30
31
32
33
146
90
139
120
126
141
147
102
125
138
108
91
101
160
128
163
119
95
100
143
162
150
97
140
165
87
164
137
110
96
103
112
153
One Sleeve Optional
White Heat 3
Hi Tec Virginia Rednecks
Three Big Kahoonas
Jim BoBo
Three’s Company
Three Ash Pounders
3 Thobbin’ Boggins
10’ Woody
5 Trappah’s
3 Wicked Great Big Sneed Eaters
Rift Rafters 3
Team Loose Moose
Absolute Zeros
One More Pain in the Ash
Warriors On Ice
The Mustangs
Slabra Cadabra
Gravity’s Revenge
Woolly Willow Canoe Company
Fat Bloated Idiots
Pika Pika Pikachu
Boomerangs
The Cat is Back
We’s Wicked Fast
The Atherquinns
Mary Sandwich
Virginia Ice - Men
S.P.L.A.T.
Death by Tobogganing
Haulin Ash
Three Hogs & Heifers
French & Brawn Bag Boys
Town
1st
Run
8.41
8.60
8.60
8.57
8.55
8.65
8.67
8.70
8.67
8.69
8.69
8.77
8.55
8.76
8.70
8.74
8.71
8.82
8.77
8.77
8.74
8.78
8.81
8.79
8.77
8.89
8.86
8.85
8.86
DNS
DNS
8.66
DNS
2nd
Run
Combn.
Time
8.71
8.66
8.71
8.76
8.78
8.69
8.72
8.7
8.75
8.74
8.82
8.76
8.99
8.78
8.86
8.82
8.86
8.76
8.81
8.83
8.86
8.85
8.83
8.85
8.89
8.82
8.91
8.98
9.01
17.12
17.26
17.31
17.33
17.33
17.34
17.39
17.40
17.42
17.43
17.51
17.53
17.54
17.54
17.56
17.56
17.57
17.58
17.58
17.60
17.60
17.63
17.64
17.64
17.66
17.71
17.77
17.83
17.87
Bib
Rank No.
1
2
3
3
5
5
5
8
9
10
11
12
12
12
15
15
15
18
19
19
21
22
22
24
25
25
25
25
29
29
31
31
33
33
35
36
37
38
38
40
41
42
43
44
45
46
47
48
49
50
207
209
206
278
184
249
290
208
266
252
223
215
246
267
230
287
293
227
210
229
254
216
226
261
222
256
307
313
178
225
224
279
192
195
187
328
274
217
280
176
214
188
265
244
295
190
232
286
289
300
Team
Town
Take No Prisoners
Schmucks
Hot Flash
Four Ash Pounders
Slab City Sliders
Lost Sailors
Seneca Roncador Raiders
The Bumps
The Rusty Sheriff’s Badge
Snowsnakes
Ovarian Ogres
Four Hogs & Heifers
The Iowa Hawkeye Travelin Squad
Captains Copasetic
Snow Bote
What’s That Smell
Captain Obvious & The Mouthe Breathers
The Big Kahoonas
Frozen Ash
Rhode Rage
Sadies Sliders
Family of Hogs & Heifers
Quarterdeck
We Go Saddam Fast
Epididamus
The Flying Milano Brothers
The Hurricanes
Little Rascals
Rift Rafters 4
Irish Nachos
Internal Bleeding
Woodpeckers
All A’Board
Good to Go
Zach Attack
1000 Pounds
The Refit Misfits
Beggar’s Wharf Rats
Hot Flashes
Four Fine Bovine
Little Hogs & Heifers
Gas-X
Greased Lightning
T.C. Racing Team
A Clean Slate
The Throbbin Boggins
Tzvecl Racing
The Groovy Girls
Seneca Swashbucklers
2 Boyz & 2 Galz Sleding
1st
Run
8.62
8.62
8.66
8.66
8.66
8.66
8.68
8.68
8.71
8.71
8.70
8.72
8.70
8.72
8.73
8.71
8.77
8.75
8.76
8.71
8.76
8.76
8.78
8.75
8.79
8.78
8.76
8.79
8.78
8.84
8.78
8.77
8.79
8.75
8.77
8.83
8.85
8.79
8.79
8.84
8.86
8.85
8.86
8.80
8.89
8.70
DNS
DNS
DNS
DNS
2nd Combn.
Run Time
8.65
8.68
8.68
8.68
8.70
8.70
8.68
8.71
8.69
8.70
8.72
8.71
8.73
8.71
8.75
8.77
8.71
8.74
8.74
8.79
8.75
8.76
8.74
8.78
8.75
8.76
8.78
8.75
8.77
8.71
8.78
8.79
8.79
8.83
8.82
8.77
8.78
8.85
8.85
8.81
8.82
8.84
8.85
8.93
8.87
9.71
17.27
17.30
17.34
17.34
17.36
17.36
17.36
17.39
17.40
17.41
17.42
17.43
17.43
17.43
17.48
17.48
17.48
17.49
17.50
17.50
17.51
17.52
17.52
17.53
17.54
17.54
17.54
17.54
17.55
17.55
17.56
17.56
17.58
17.58
17.59
17.60
17.63
17.64
17.64
17.65
17.68
17.69
17.71
17.73
17.76
18.41
Hometowns Withheld by Snow Bowl
Tobogganists don’t always come clean when asked who they
are. This team identified themselves as Wicked Sticky Buns and
perhaps that is true. We suspect it was really Wendy Caisse and
her crew from Isabella’s Cafe & Bakery out of Freeport, Maine
going by the name of Isabella’s Madd Bakers. Then again Frozen
Ash, Butts Canoe Club or Kiss My Ash are three other
registered teams that come to mind. So is A Bunch of Yahoos.
Whomever they might be, they didn’t even place in the costume
contest although they caught the ever discriminating, artful
eye of the Toboggan Times.
Ever since the Toboggan Times has published race results from the
Nationals, it has been our policy to record the hometown of each
team next to the race results. We have not changed this policy. It is
just that the Camden Snow Bowl has changed the way they keep the
records and now they claim that the data is too difficult to break out.
Even though the Times asked repeatedly for the hometowns of
each participating team, the Camden Snow Bowl was either unable or
unwilling to provide them. The Times will continue to press for this
information because it’s always more amusing when you know from
where the teams with the worst times or the most absurd names
come. There is hope because the Snow Bowl is under new management. Surely we will see great cooperation in 2005. Surely.
❄
T OBOGGAN TIMES
· PAGE 8 · DECEMBER 2004
Letters and
Comments
To the Editor:
I was looking for some excitement
when my friends said “come with us
toboggoning this weekend at the Snow
Bowl up in Camden” I thought “just a
bunch of guys going toboggoning” sounds
great. Little did I know what excitement was
to come. Nominating me captain of Sadies Sliders and never
done this before -and cameras are rolling -and people screaming... wow, awesome. Turning 60 this year and never thought I
would experience such a happening. Throat cancer, back surgery
5 months prior. Life is good. I’ll be back with my own toboggon
next year.
Bob Dustin
Parsonsfield, Maine
Open Late Friday Night!
Dear Captain,
Some friends. They might be trying to kill you! Give it some
thought. It all fits. I mean it’s obvious with that check for $10 you
sent us that your mind is going. What is it you have that they
want? You must be tough, most people have back surgery after
tobogganing. Happy birthday and welcome to the sport. Toboggon is
now spelled Toboggan, by the way.
Editor
To the editor (via e-mail):
First time Excellent time and adventure One of the best
weekends of my life. Thanks for your Toboggan Times.
Bob Dustin
Parsonfield, Maine
OK Bob,
You already sent us a regular letter. Really liked the Nationals
did you? Better check to make sure those runs down the chute didn’t
knock anything loose if you catch my drift. I think you’ll be all
right though, your spelling is better but I’d still keep an eye on my
“friends”.
Editor
Clarence Butler and Donald Borgerson, both 81, leave the
Snow Bowl lodge with their trophy for the oldest team to
participate in the 14th Nationals , which they call No
Name. After receiving the trophy, one of them announced
that it was time for a nap as they headed straight for the
door forsaking the rest of the festivities. The two are
actually high school class mates from Rockland High
School, class of 1941. Imagine that.
To the editor:
We were at the 13th annual toboggan races this year. Thank
you for your copy of the Toboggan Times. It featured a picture of
the Potato Heads (My daughter and her husband.)
If you decide to publish a paper this year, we would like to
receive one. Thank you.
Susanne Zdanowicz
Branford, CT
Hey, a letter is a letter. Anyway they did like the newsletter and
they sent us $2.00. Here’s to you Zdanowicz!
Editor
The Toboggan Times welcomes any correspondence, especially if
it concerns Toboggans, even as an obtuse reference. Send your
letters to The Toboggan Times, 246 Main Street, Lincolnville,
Maine 04849. Correspondents should be prepared to have their
comments ridiculed, edited and twisted. E-mail to
[email protected] will typically go unanswered for months.
In The Next Issue of
Toboggan T
imes
Times
More Advertising!
“Petra and Mike” part of Team Wurst entertain crowds on
the ice of Hosmer Pond in an impromptu half time show.
Petra sang, Mike played the ukulele and some Yahoo in the
background joined them on the broom. It was interesting.
There were no wardrobe malfunctions. Petra and Mike are
from New York.
Just who are the Four Flying Florida Flamingos and is there
really a Florida Association of Racing Tobogganists? Will they be
back in ‘05 to “Kick Ash” as promised? Are they just plain nuts?
Are they Republicans? If they come back, we’ll find out.
❄