Lillie Shockney - Breast Cancer Wellness

Transcription

6th Annual BC Thrivers Cruise p.42
A Son’s Love
From Trauma
to Triumph
What Your
Caregiver Wishes
You Knew
Lillie
Shockney
Humor and Wellness Wisdom
Healing
Goals and why
Need
Them
YOU
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Volume 6, Issue 1
Spring 2011
www.breastcancerwellness.org
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Contents
COVER THRIVER
eighteen
Lillie Shockney
32
SPRING 2011 Volume 6, Issue 1
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Openings }
Renew }
4
5
20 What Your Caregiver Wishes You Knew
22 A Natural Connection
24 Healing the Whole Person
Editor’s Letter
BCW Bulletin Board
Grow }
6 Healing Goals
11 A Son’s Love
14 The Sacrificial Personality
Nourish }
16 Crucial Oils
18 The Amazing Avacado
Inspire }
26
32
34
37
Humor and Wellness Wisdom
It’s About Empowering Each Other
Turning Trauma into Triumph
Life IS on the Freeway
Connect }
44 Pink Pages Directory
16
Connect with us! www.BreastCancerWellness.org / Join us on
3
Openings
–Beverly Vote
DEAR FRIENDS,
Love heals.
Almost twenty years later, I am still thankful for the viceprincipal of my son’s school who took the time to listen to
him, at a time when I didn’t know how to reach my youngest
born. My teenaged son’s life was on a dangerous course and
Dick Tiller listened and understood my son’s rebellion. Just
by listening, he helped defuse Brad’s anger, fear and pain.
I am also thankful for my daughter-in-law who believed in
my son at a time when Brad didn’t believe in himself. I am
grateful for the responsible citizen, loving husband, father,
and son that he has become. I love you Brad!
Listening is an aspect of love. To be heard and to be
understood is a life-changer. When we are heard by someone
who has been where we are and who understands, life
becomes less painful and less alone. When we are heard by
someone who cares, a real form of healing happens. Real
listening isn’t about our ears, it’s about listening with our
hearts. Real listening opens the gateways for the next best
possible outcomes.
What IS possible?
We are given a choice every day to focus on possibilities.
But where do we focus our attention—on our healing
possibilities or on our fears?
Our language is an indicator of where we are in our breast
cancer experiences. When my sentences begin with “I am,”
I know I am more engaged with my higher healing beliefs
and potential. When the word “but” creeps back into my
sentences, it is a reminder to me that I am not fully focused
on my healing commitments and that I have allowed fear
and doubt to dictate my words, which in time will dictate
my choices, which will dictate and affect the direction of
my journey. I don’t want to have a doubtful or fear-based
experience; I want a journey driven by empowered choices.
4
“What IS possible in
this situation” and “What
IS possible for this day?”
Brush up your imagination
skills and go to work on
what is best for you. Focus
on what you do want, not
on what you don’t want to
happen in your life. The
best sport coaches train
their athletes to repetitively
see in their minds’ eye their
goals being accomplished
and to let their emotions
connect with what it feels like to make their daily goals
over and over. We can each take a cue from these winning
coaches. Add in the power of unified prayer for your healing
endeavors and allow wellness and miracles to happen.
You must do the things you think you cannot do.
-Eleanor Roosevelt
I love the message that Suzie Humphreys shares with us
in this issue of the magazine, a simple reminder that we each
must face the thing we think we cannot do, and by facing it,
our life moves further and faster to what we desire. Each of
us at one time or another has had that one thing we wanted
to ignore, that we wanted to go away on its own. Triumph
happens when we look at the obstacle differently, tap into our
amazing capacity to thrive, and when we ask for help to get
us back on our freeway. Life is on the freeway! Let’s go!
Be a Thriver!
Publisher / Editor
18 year breast cancer thriver!
Grow
Healing Goals
by HEATHER JOSE
I don’t care how much power, brilliance or energy you have, if you don’t
harness it and focus it on a specific target, and hold it there you’re never
going to accomplish as much as your ability warrants. — Zig Ziglar
I will eat 9 veggies each day. I will work
out for 30 minutes five times per week. My
scan will be stable. I will enjoy my family today. I will meet my grandchildren someday.
I will live my life as if my actions matter.
I will help women thrive through education and empowerment. These statements,
my friends, are what get me through life.
They are goals. Goals are the cornerstone of
healing. They let my family and my medical
team know what I am committed to doing.
My goals guide my prayers.
6
The time right after anyone has been told
they have cancer is terrifying. Making a goal
to look to and work on is a saving grace to
get you through your fears and to get you
focused on healing.
Goals give us something positive to focus
on, a direction in which to move, a way to
convey what is important to you to share
with others, and importantly goals give us
some good old fashioned accountability.
Even in my sickest moments I was working
toward a goal. I want you to as well.
There were days when my diagnosis
of stage IV with six months to live was
mentally and emotionally overwhelming to
me. But on those days I would make myself
a shake full of fruit and veggies knowing
this was helping me reach my goal of doing
something positive every day. By accomplishing that one small goal every day I was
building upon my belief and in my ability to
make a difference in my health. These little
daily successes were the building stones of
making my mind and body more confident
and stronger, and they became part of my
answered prayers.
In the last issue my column was about
having a choice and moving towards that.
Goals are the vehicle to the choice. You can’t
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just hope for something good to happen, we
must take positive action toward the goal
each day. Just one small accomplishment
toward your bigger goal each day is a life to
be proud of.
I actually went to college to learn how
to write goals. I didn’t really know it at the
time. I was going to school to be an occupational therapist so that I could work
with children with disabilities. I never knew
until later how important goal setting skills
would be in my own life. One of the crucial
parts of being a good therapist is the ability
to determine what the need of an individual
is. After determining the need we figure out
what skills have to be developed to meet that
need. We do that by writing goals. We write
long term goals to clarify the outcome we
want and short term goals to focus on the
individual things we need to do to reach our
long term goal. I like to think of long term
goals as our far away vision and short term
goals as everyday choices.
If nothing else I will go down swinging.
That was my first goal after being diagnosed
with breast cancer. It had only one component of a good goal - it was motivating
to me. It also had a negative connotation
because it didn’t align with my goal of living
beyond the diagnosis but at least it conveyed
that I would try.
My second goal - I am going to see my
daughter Sydney go to kindergarten - was
better and it ended up serving as my long
term goal for quite some time. This goal
included motivation, accountability, a time
line and was a goal that others could easily
rally behind and fully support me. Once I set
this goal I began to share it, along with my
short term goals to a group of people who
came over to pray with me on a regular ba-
sis. My short term goals changed every time
we met because as I accomplished my short
term goals I would continue to set new ones.
At the time, setting the goal of seeing
Sydney go to kindergarten was a lofty goal. I
had just been told to get my affairs in order
by the oncologist that had seen my test results. Sydney was four years away from kindergarten at that point. I would encourage
you to set a goal that is on the brink of crazy.
I say that because we often limit ourselves by
having low expectations. We are constantly
told to be realistic, that there is no way.
But we as human beings have
an amazing capacity to thrive
through adversity and tapping
in to this instinct is available to
every one of us.
What is it that you really want for yourself in the future? Make that your goal. Once
you determine your goal, write it down and
make sure it has the components that an effective goal must have: Intention, alignment,
accountability, and motivation.
Using your goal(s) is important as you
work with the medical community. It aligns
you both to be on the same page. We need to
talk with our doctors and nurses and to let
them know who we are and how we want to
participate in our healing needs. When you
as the patient can state what your goals are
and what you are doing to achieve them you
are accepting responsibility.
This invokes an atmosphere of teamwork
which is conducive to healing. This is so
important that we developed the Healing
Agreement in order to help others establish
communication and goals between healthcare providers and patients. We need to do
everything we can to establish a relationship
of trust and caring while working within
the parameters of today’s healthcare system.
My oncologist and I were able to get on the
same page from the beginning (this was not
Dr. Getyouraffairsinorder). I was able to
share with her my goals and the things that
I was doing in order to achieve them. More
importantly, I was able to show her over
time that I was keeping my commitment to
healing and reaching goals in many areas of
my life. This has continued throughout the
years. We continue to discuss my goals so
that our focus stays inline.
These very same goals helped me to
establish the unified focus for those around
me. I was talking with a friend about my
journey through cancer and he shared his
perspective on the matter. He said that he
realized very quickly that he had a choice to
make as to how he was able to support me.
“I decided that if you were going to pull
that hard on the oars, I was not going to be
the anchor that was weighing you down. I
was skeptical at first, but clearly what you
were doing was working. I am so glad that I
got on board with your goal and was able to
enjoy the ride.”
Once I had my long term goal set I began
to add my little, short term goals that I could
reach within a week or a month. These
goals were much more precise, such as “I
will work out 5 times a week for 2 weeks” or
“I will eat 9-11 fruits and veggies every day
for a month.” They should be very specific.
You can post these goals for motivation and
reward yourself for accomplishing them. You
certainly need to track them in some way. {I
kept a composition notebook for my goals.}
Setting goals is like telling yourself that you
matter enough to take the time to do things
for yourself. We set them for many other
aspects of our lives, there is no reason we
shouldn’t do so for our health. It is the success of meeting our initial small goals that
build momentum and help us to take on bigger tasks. It is important to reevaluate these
goals regularly and give yourself freedom to
change them if need be.
You set yourself up for success when you
start making your short term everyday goals.
If you aren’t eating any veggies don’t write
that you will eat 5 a day. Start small and
build. Remember, these are the details that
matter and over time they add up to good
things. You could start with anything that
will move you toward your long term goal
such as drinking green tea, prayer, guided
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imagery, spending a couple of minutes
reflecting upon these goals and believing
in them. A good rule of thumb would be to
have 1 long term goal and 3 short term goals.
It is a good feeling to meet a goal, no matter
how small. Consistently doing this builds
confidence and a rhythm of positive energy
in your life.
I knew that setting goals was working
as soon as I heard the results of my first
CT scan since I had started treatment. My
5-centimeter tumor was undetectable! I
could have chalked it off to the chemo, or
said it was just luck, but I didn’t believe that.
I knew that my participation mattered. It
still matters 12 years later.
There will never be a time in my life
when I am not working toward long and
short term goals. They help me to stay in
tune with my body. I will always use goals
to continue to grow. I believe that by setting
and achieving goals I have been able to move
to a whole different phase of my life, one
that is no longer driven by fear of cancer. I
would say that is quite an accomplishment
for a stage IV breast cancer patient. We even
expanded our family through adoption. Our
son Ty is one of our greatest gifts.
I cried the day my daughter went to
kindergarten, blown away that I was there to
see it happen. Wondering what to do next,
my friend said simply, “Set a new goal.”
If you did just one thing today, write
down one goal, and share it with someone
who cares about you. Feel free to share it
with me at [email protected].
You can download the Healing
Agreement at www.heatherjose.com and
www.breastcancerwellness.org n
Heather Jose
Diagnosed with stage IV breast cancer
at 26, Heather Jose chose to fight the
cancer head on putting together a plan
to battle cancer on a daily basis. Ten
years later, Heather is healthy and using
her experiences to speak to healthcare
providers and patients about how much
their actions and words can impact
success. Heather is the author of “Letters
to Sydney: Every Day I am Killing Cancer”.
Visit her online at www.heatherjose.com.
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Grow
A SON’S LOVE
by BRAD VOTE
It all started with three little words from my mom, “I have cancer”. That
is how my life changed almost 20 years ago. I had just gotten home from
school and mom and dad sat me down to tell me the news that mom had
breast cancer. To a teenage boy whose only thoughts are self serving, I did not
realize what impact this would have on my life. My first thought was denial.
Then came the mass confusion in my
brain. Was my mom going to die? My mother
always supported anything I wanted to do. I
always assumed that’s how all mothers were.
It took cancer to make me change my point
of view about life and my family and for me
to realize that I could never take having my
mother for granted again.
I first worried how was this going to affect
my life, not how is this going to affect my
mother’s. I wasn’t always a bad child, just selfabsorbed. Some would call that self-centered.
I call it self-assured, a gift from my parents.
I can remember mom and dad coming home
from one of her treatments; it scared me
that my mom looked so worn out. Everyone
knows someone who has cancer but this was
the first time I had a close experience with it.
It is amazing how anger can take over your
mind. It took a few months for me to realize
that my mom could die. I didn’t know how to
deal with my feelings. So like a typical teenag-
er, I rebelled. Instead of being a supporter for
my mother, I was a burden. I made it a point
to never be home. After ball practices I would
go out with my friends to keep from thinking about mom’s cancer. When I was home
all I saw was mom on the sofa or bed resting.
I could not deal with seeing my mother in
such pain and weakness. I am thankful that
dad and my sister Laurie were there for mom.
They were both great supporters. I wish I had
their wisdom at that age. I struggled through
the next few months of school. I started partying heavily. I figured the more I drank the less
I felt. I went to every party I could find. I spent
the next year in a drunken haze.
During the middle of my senior year of
school I had a fight with a classmate. He had
mouthed off about my mom and all the feelings I had kept inside came out. Just as the
fight started in the central area of the high
school, the vice principal pulled us apart. We
were taken to his office and he let the other
Pictured above left to right: 1996 - Mom and me, four
years after mom’s diagnosis of breast cancer. 1993
- My niece Lindsey, dad, mom and me after my high
school graduation.
kid go but kept me which ticked me off. He
sat me down in his office and asked me what
was wrong and then he listened. For the
next hour or so I talked about my life and he
shared with me how cancer had changed him
and that it also changed his family’s lives. Our
vice principal had lost his ear to cancer, yet
there he was giving me a powerful life lesson
about listening. He let me know that no
matter how bad it was to make sure I spent
quality time with my mom. I have always
looked up to Dick Tiller. So Dick wherever
you are—I want to thank you.
By the end of my senior year I was not
as angry about my mom getting cancer. She
had lost her hair and breast. I could start to
see the old mom coming back to life. I have
always been blessed by my mom. Whenever I
wanted a new pair of Reebok pumps, clothes,
gas money, mom was there. Mom was a giver.
Thanks mom. I never asked dad because he
always wanted to know what it was for. Of
course I didn’t tell either of them it was for
adult beverages.
11
Like I said mom was my biggest supporter. She went to all my games. She didn’t
care if I scored thirty points or one, if I threw
a touchdown or an interception or if I struck
out or hit a home run. She was happy just
seeing me be happy. It has taken me having
my own kids to understand that.
At the end of my senior year I met my
future wife. At the time, I thought Hyda was
just another girl. Wrong! I was realizing that
drinking was not getting me anywhere and
this girl was the one who helped me figure
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that out. I also saw that she had something I
wanted. I just didn’t know what it was. Come
to find out it was Jesus. I have shared my
testimony many times. It always makes me
choke up. I am thankful that I have a wife
that loves me for who I am. I am learning
how to be a good husband, father, brother,
and son. I wish that I could have been the son
that my mom needed back then. I still feel
guilty for the hurt I caused my mother. Being
a parent I now realize that kids just need
their parents’ love and attention. When my
mom was diagnosed with breast cancer, none
of us in our family knew how to deal with the
shock of it all and with what was happening
to our lives.
Today when I hear of a co-worker or
someone who is dealing with cancer in some
form, I listen. That is what I needed when my
mom was so sick and when I was so confused
and scared was just someone to listen to my
thoughts and feelings and fears. Not many
men {or rebellious teenagers} want to discuss
their feelings. I have fought that for years.
But what I have learned is that all of us need
someone who has gone through the same
thing and all of us need someone who will
listen with a caring heart. So here is a word of
encouragement: Find that someone who will
listen. That person needs to care about you
and can listen without an agenda. I am lucky
that I have that person in my life now.
Here is the hard part about listening: Do
not try to fix the problem. Just listen. Just
pray for that person and their family. Just be
a friend. Cancer affects almost everyone on
the planet. There may be a time in your life
Above: 1995 - Wedding day for Hyda and me. Below:
My youngest daughter Paige, age 2. My oldest
daughter Mariah, age 13.
when someone close to you who may be diagnosed with cancer. Do not let it set you back.
Look for the opportunity to help that family.
Cancer affects more than just one person, it
affects the whole family. I am very thankful for
my family. We know that breast cancer helped
us to become closer and stronger as a family.
Once again I would like to tell my family
that I love them and will always be praying
for them. So I urge you if you are in a family
crisis, reach out to someone who cares and
who listens.
In conclusion:
Thanks mom for loving me when I was
unlovable.
Thanks mom for always listening when I
needed an ear.
Thanks mom for all of the encouragement.
Thanks mom for being my friend.
And with all of my heart, I love you mom. n
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The Sacrificial
Personality
by KATRINA BOS
This shift to coming home to who you are is the first step.
Without it, nothing else matters. It is the necessary foundation
for starting to heal for good.
It is the first thing that you must do in order
to find out who you are and what you’re all about.
I was once told that there was a pattern
among many women who get breast cancer.
They tend to be the ones who never say no
to anyone, are always smiling, never ask for
help, and always try to please others.
I wasn’t surprised. Not only did I recognize it in myself, I certainly saw it in my
mom, my sisters, and throughout our family.
Then, when I talked to other women who
had breast cancer, it was almost a guarantee that they too recognized the pattern in
themselves and their families.
There are those of us who were raised
with a very specific notion of what the ideal
woman is. We know how she acts in marriage. We know how she treats her kids. We
know how she acts in the community. For
those of us with breast cancer in our families, we know all this because our ideal role
model was our mother.
She was always there for us. She was
everything to our fathers. She was selfless
in relationships. She put everyone’s needs
ahead of her own. When she got sick, there
was a never-ending parade of visitors and
well-wishers. When she got really sick, all
of her kids would sit by her bedside because
there was nowhere else that they could be.
Their husbands often took early retirement
to care for them, spending night after night
sleeping in uncomfortable reclining chairs in
the hospital.
Who wouldn’t want to be loved that
much?
Why wouldn’t we emulate someone like
that?
Why wouldn’t we do everything that we
could to be just like her?
But what if her life wasn’t as rosy on the
inside as it seemed to us from the outside?
What if there were sacrifices that she was
making to be the wonderful woman that we
knew? What if those sacrifices contributed
to a quiet depression that she couldn’t share
with others? What if that quiet depression
caused a suppressed immune system? What
if all those things that she took to heart and
cared about so much over the years actually
might have contributed to her cancer?
And cancer candidates aren’t always
wives and mothers. They can also be the
ones who give up decades of their lives caring for elderly parents—never saying no,
always being the ones that everyone can
count on.
So what is so wrong with that? What
is wrong with caring for others and being
dependable and loving?
The problem is that we do it all at the
expense of ourselves and our own needs.
Our own life is essentially put on hold while
we care for everyone else. Our own needs
and dreams have become irrelevant. We tell
ourselves that one day we will be able to pursue our dreams. But after time we can’t even
remember what our dreams were.
Our lives are simply run by caring for the
needs of other people—which is fine, except
that we end up having no control or say in
our own lives.
A Sense of Control in Their Lives
The most well-documented change that
spontaneous healers make before they get
better is a shift to “personal autonomy” or
taking control of their lives. It is a shift of
power, or an awareness of a person’s own
right to live as they want to. It is an inner
shift—something not easily explained or easily accomplished.
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14
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Some who went home to die were not
told the truth about their prognosis, at the
request of their family. With the news that
they were going to be all right, they made an
inner promise that they would never be sick
again. They were going to really enjoy and
love life! And they did.
For others who were told their prognosis,
the news of their impending death caused
them to decide to really live life to the fullest. They got rid of chronic stressors in their
lives. They made love often as possible. They
drank beer with their friends and picked up
hobbies that they had long forgotten about.
For others, the idea of truly facing death
made them suddenly wake up to something.
Maybe they had just been gliding through
life up until this point. Maybe they had been
relying on the opinions and guidance of others, not truly taking the reins in their own
lives. But this was their wake-up call. They
What if You Could Skip the Cancer? The book that explores
the important lessons we can learn from those who have
beaten cancer so that we can live happily and healthily
without every having to get sick. It explores why a breast
cancer diagnosis is a death sentence for some and a lifechanging opportunity for others.
“This book contains the wisdom that can
guide one to true healing and the physical
benefits that come when one’s life is healed”.
—Bernie Siegel, MD, Author of Love, Medicine, and
Miracles, and Faith, Hope
Katrina Bos
suddenly “came home”. They were going to
run the show from now on.
This shift to coming home to who you
are is the first step. Without it, nothing else
matters. It is the necessary foundation for
starting to heal for good. n
Because Katrina Bos’ mom, grandmother, and sister all died from breast cancer,
the alarming lumps Katrina found in her
breast at the age of 29 changed her life
forever. She set on a course to learn how
to heal herself and to learn from others
who had beaten cancer. Her intense
study and research into spontaneous
healings and the connections between
the mind, body and spirit led her to
author an empowering book about healing beliefs and habits, “What If You
Could Skip the Cancer?” In January 2010, Katrina restored a historic train
station in Goderich, Canada where she continues to teach yoga, meditation,
dance and life-enrichment workshops and seminars.
www.katrinabos.ca
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15
Nourish
OIL
A Crucial Investment for Your
Health Portfolio
by Christine Horner, MD
With the enormous media attention on the health perils of high fat diets,
and the ensuing low-fat food craze, you might think eating any type of fat
is bad. Wrong. The truth is our bodies need fat to function properly.
For instance, every cell in our body has a
membrane that is primarily composed of fat.
Without proper amounts of fat in our diet,
our cells are unable to function optimally.
Another example: All the nerve cells in
our body, including those in the brain, are
coated with fat. It is this fat that allows electrical impulses to travel through nerve cells.
If there is a problem with this fatty sheath,
as in multiple sclerosis, the ability of nerve
impulses to conduct is severely impaired and
consequentially, so is our ability to move and
think. Fat also provides structural insulation for our body, and protects it from
trauma.
Researchers have found our body
functions best when we eat a ratio of
omega-3 fatty acids to omega-6 fatty
acids in the range of 1 to 4. Omega-3
fatty acids, in general, are the most
health-promoting type of fat you can
eat. They reduce your risk of heart
disease, inflammatory conditions
(especially arthritis and skin conditions
like psoriasis) and of several different types
of cancer, including breast cancer. They
also improve the function of your brain,
lower insulin resistance, and can even help
to slow aging by preserving the length of
telomeres—DNA sequences on the end of
chromosomes that shorten with aging.
Omega-3 fatty acids protect against
breast cancer in several different ways. First,
they decrease the strength of estrogen in the
breast tissue. This means cells won’t divide
as rapidly as they normally do in response
to estrogen. Secondly, omega-3 fatty acids
have powerful anti-inflammatory properties.
Scientists have found inflammation plays a
significant role in the initiation and growth
of tumors. Women who take anti-inflammatory medication on an average of 3 times a
week are found to have up to a 50% lower
incidence of breast cancer.
Omega-3 fatty acids also help to fight
breast cancer if you already have it. And
does so very impressively, I might
Dry and fresh flax.
16
add. Research shows omega-3 fatty acids
cause breast tumors to shrink in size and
prevent them from metastasizing or spreading. They are so powerful in stopping the
spread of tumors in the body that women
with the highest amount of omega-3 fatty
acids in their bodies are found to have a
500% lower incidence of metastasis compared to women with the lowest levels of
omega-3’s.
The best plant source of omega-3
fatty acids is flax seeds. They contain more
omega-3 fatty acids than any other known
edible plant. Walnuts are also a good source
of omega-3 fatty acids.
Certain fish, like salmon and herring,
contain significant amounts of omega-3 fatty
acids. But—and this is a big but—we’ve polluted our lakes, rivers, and oceans so much,
that fish is now one of the most toxic foods
you can eat. Fish contains more concentrated amounts of dangerous chemicals than
any other food source. If you think eating
farm raised fish is safer, think again. An
article published in the New York Times July
30, 2003, reported findings by the Environmental Working Group, a nonprofit environmental research and advocacy group, on 10
samples of farmed salmon bought at markets on the East and West coasts. Farmed
salmon accounts for 60% of all salmon eaten
in the US. All the samples of fish were found
to be contaminated with polychlorinated
biphenyls or PBCs at levels far higher than
any other protein source, including all other
types of seafood. PCBs are a group of indus-
trial chemicals that the EPA recognizes as a
“probable carcinogen.” High levels of PCBs
are also associated with learning disabilities
and other nerve and reproductive disorders.
They were banned from being manufactured
in the 1970’s, but because they don’t break
down easily, most of the PCB’s ever made are
either still in use or exist our environment
somewhere.
Your safest choice is to consume flax
oil—the recommended amount to eat each
day 1 or 2 tablespoon. Omega-3s are so
important for your health that everyone
should be taking supplemental oil every day!
The best type of flax oil to purchase is fresh
and organically grown. You will find it in the
refrigerated section of your grocery store
or health food store. It should be in a dark
bottle to protect it from the light. Use the oil
within 2 months from the time you purchase
it. There should be an expiration date on the
bottle. One of the best brands of organic flax
oil and one I always use and recommend is
made by Barlean’s. You can add the oil to
anything you like, but heating it destroys
it so don’t cook with it! Use it as a salad
dressing or add it to your morning smoothie.
Better yet, Barlean’s has a line of organic
flax oil that comes in a variety of delicious
flavors. It tastes like a fruit smoothie straight
out of the bottle, so there’s no need to add
it to anything to disguise its flavor. Banana
Strawberry is my favorite. Most health food
stores carry it, or you can order it on line
and have it shipped to your front door. Good
health can be easy and delicious! n
Flax seeds and walnuts are a good source of
omega-3 fatty acids.
Christine Horner, MD
Christine Horner, MD is a board certified
and nationally recognized surgeon,
author, expert in natural medicine,
professional speaker and a relentless
champion for women’s health. She
is the author of Waking the Warrior
Goddess: Dr. Christine Horner’s Program
to Protect Against and Fight Breast
Cancer, winner of the Independent Book
Publishers Award 2006 for Best Book in
Health, Medicine, and Nutrition. For more information see page 38 or visit
www.drchristinehorner.com.
17
Nourish
The Amazing Avocado
The avocado sure is an amazing fruit!
Yes, that’s right, the avocado is actually
considered a fruit. Known for its rich creamy,
smooth flavor, the avocado is also chocked
full of incredible nutrition. They are one of
the most nutrient-dense foods and boast
impressive amounts of the heart-healthy
monounsaturated (good) fat. A good source
of fiber, ounce for ounce avocados top the
charts among all fruits in folate, potassium,
vitamin E, and magnesium content—an
important nutrient for strong bones. Now
I must admit I am an avocado addict! I
could eat avocado on anything—and often
times I do—as I think avocado should be
an ingredient in whatever I am preparing.
Along with the health benefits, the versatility
of this fruit is also incredible. Did you know
that the avocado is actually an incredible skin
moisturizing ingredient in facials? Whether
you slice it or dice it, blend or puree it, or
even use on your face—don’t underestimate
the flavor, versatility, and nutrition of the
amazing avocado!
18
by HOLLY CLEGG
Guacamole Goes Mediterranean
Avocados, feta and seasonings turn this guacamole into paradise.
Makes 5 (1/4 cup) servings.
1 cup chopped avocado, (1-2 avocados)
1/4 cup finely chopped red onion
1 teaspoon minced garlic
2 tablespoons finely chopped parsley
1/2 teaspoon dried oregano leaves
1 teaspoon olive oil
1 tablespoon NAKANO seasoned rice vinegar (basil and oregano
flavored)
1/4 cup crumbled reduced-fat feta cheese
1. In bowl, gently stir together avocado, onion, and garlic. Mix in
parsley and oregano.
2. Gently stir in olive oil, vinegar and feta. Refrigerate or serve.
Nutritional information per serving: Calories 123, Calories from fat 72%, Fat 11g,
Saturated Fat 2g, Cholesterol 3mg, Sodium 105mg, Carbohydrate 7g, Dietary Fiber
4g, Sugars 1g, Protein 3g. Dietary Exchanges: 1/2 starch, 2 fat
Spicy Advice: I think the NAKANO Basil and Oregano seasoned rice vinegar is the
perfect blend, but also the original flavor works fine.
Buy it!
Terrific Tidbit:
To easily seed
cucumbers,
cut in half and
run a knife or
fork down the
center of the
cucumber to
scrape out the
seeds.
Avocado
Cucumber Soup
Creamy avocadoes and cucumbers pair
together in this fantastic chilled soup. Makes
6 (3/4 cup) servings.
1 large avocado, peeled, pitted, and halved
2 cucumbers, peeled, seeded, and halved
1 cup fat-free low-sodium chicken or
vegetable broth
1 cup fat-free evaporated milk
2 tablespoons lemon juice
Salt to taste (optional)
1/4 cup chopped green onion
1/2 cup chopped tomatoes
1. In blender or food processor, blend
avocado, cucumbers, chicken broth,
evaporated milk, and lemon juice until
smooth. Season to taste. Refrigerate,
covered, until chilled.
2. If soup is too thick, stir in a little
more broth or evaporated milk. Sprinkle
individual servings with green onion and
tomatoes before serving.
Nutritional information per serving: Calories 102,
Calories from fat 46%, Fat 5g, Saturated Fat 1g,
Cholesterol 2mg, Sodium 65mg, Carbohydrate 11g,
Dietary Fiber 3g, Sugars 7g, Protein 5g. Dietary
Exchanges: 1 vegetables, 1/2 fat-free milk, 1 fat
Holly Clegg’s new
cookbook—”Too Hot
in the Kitchen” is available for purchase at
www.HollyClegg.com
Avocado
Banana Mask
{ Combination skin }
Bananas contain potassium and vitamins
A, B, C and E, which soften, nourish and
moisturize leaving your skin feeling smooth.
1/4 ripe banana
1 tablespoon plain yogurt
1/4 ripe avocado
1/2 teaspoon olive oil
Puree all ingredients in blender. Apply to
face 15 minutes. Rinse with warm water and
pat dry.
•Long-Term
Illness
Journal
•Medical
Journal
A valuable resource for
patients and their
caregivers to stay organized.
Holly Clegg
Holly Clegg, author of the best selling
trim&TERRIFIC™ cookbook series
including a diabetic cookbook with the
ADA and Eating Well Through Cancer,
has sold almost 1 million copies. Holly
has promoted her healthy lifestyle
recipes on national shows including
Fox & Friends, NBC Weekend Today, and
The 700 Club. She understands the demands of the busy person and with her
user friendly, pantry friendly, and time friendly cookbooks, she has garnered
a national reputation as the healthy “Queen of Quick!” For more information,
visit www.hollyclegg.com or http://thehealthycookingblog.com.
JournalsForYourJourney.com
For more information
email us at
[email protected]
or call
• 1-866-708-0177 •
19
Renew
What Your Caregiver
Wishes You Knew
by Cynthia Siegfried
I hate the word “caregiver.” I prefer to think of myself as a person who
loves someone with cancer—who “cares” about him and “cares” for him,
not out of obligation but out of love. But until someone coins a better
word, I am stuck with the word “caregiver.”
When my husband was diagnosed with
lung cancer, I was plunged into the role of
caregiver—a role for which I had no preparation and little proclivity. Taking care of a
sick person was as foreign to me as being a
sick person was to him. I wasn’t suited for
the job by temperament or experience.
I am guessing that many of your caregivers are like me.
We caregivers are a varied bunch, as different in temperament and abilities, as are
the people we care for. Pardon my sexism,
but assuming that most of your caregivers
are male, they may tend to be less nurturing
than the average female. I can empathize
with them because I, too, am less nurturing
than the average female. Controlling—yes;
nurturing—no.
From the day of diagnosis, I was determined to do everything in my power to make
Jim well. However, I soon discovered that
very little was in my power. For someone
used to being in control, lack of control in a
life-and-death situation is difficult to accept.
I was relentless in my attempt to influence the outcome of the cancer, researching traditional and alternative treatment
methods, investigating doctors and available
trials, preparing healthy juice concoctions,
and leaving no stone unturned. But in the
end I couldn’t take his treatments for him,
bear his pain, or endure his suffering. And, I
couldn’t make him well.
My husband and I have an ongoing
discussion over which job is more difficult—that of the cancer patient or that of
the cancer caregiver. I say the patient wins
the contest, hands down; Jim disagrees.
20
Whatever your opinion, there is little doubt
that the caregiver’s work is difficult.
Most people think the difficulty of the
job lies in the physical demands, but what
makes the job of a family caregiver difficult is the emotional involvement with
the patient. A professional caregiver can
usually remain objective; a family caregiver
is anything but. For us the stress of caregiving is exacerbated by the emotional ups and
downs.
You may not be able to do anything
about the emotional rollercoaster, but
there are ways to lighten the load for your
caregiver. A caregiver is often required to
assume duties which are not part of their
routine. I took over paying bills, dealing
with insurance companies, car maintenance—things my husband usually did.
Taking out the garbage is not a monumental job, but some days it might be the straw
that breaks the camel’s back.
If someone else can undertake some of
these tasks, the caregiver has more energy to
handle the unavoidable emotional stress. Let
friends provide dinner; get older children
to assume household responsibilities; hire
someone to clean the house. (Check out
“Cleaning for a Reason” an organization that
provides cleaning services at no charge for
cancer patients. www.cleaningforareason.
org/cancer_patients.php )
You probably can’t keep your caregiver
from worrying about you, but if you understand their motivation and feelings, you
might be able to make their job easier. What
does your caregiver wish you knew to help
them help you?
1. Your caregiver wants you to share
your fears and feelings. Don’t worry that
you are complaining too much. I would
much rather know that my husband has a
headache or is experiencing side effects than
to think he is angry or depressed. Expressing
your feelings might give them the opportunity to share their own.
2. Your caregiver wants you to ask for
help. Your recovery is their primary concern.
Don’t worry about adding to their work load.
Helping you gives them pleasure, so don’t
hesitate to ask for what you need or want.
I loved to know that I was helping in some
small way. What I hated most was feeling
powerless.
I have been where you are.
Have you just received devastating news from your doctor? Has your spouse, child,
sibling, or parent been diagnosed with a catastrophic illness? If so, you are about to
embark on a journey into unknown territory on which you will encounter unexpected problems and unexpected joys. Taking care of my husband while caring for my
aging mother and preschool grandchildren, I sometimes felt as if I would crumble
under the stress. But take heart. A Caregiver’s View from the Passenger Seat offers hope
and help for the overburdened caregiver. It is possible to not only cope but to find
joy in the overwhelming circumstances that have become your everyday life.
3. Your caregiver needs down time.
Encourage them to get out with friends or
attend church—even when you don’t want to
go. If they usually plays golf on Saturday, insist
that they continue. They need an outlet and
the support of friends. Alleviate their guilt by
insisting that you want some alone time.
4. Your caregiver needs to be able to
share their feelings with someone outside
the immediate family. In trying to protect
my family, especially my husband, I kept
my emotions in check. This control comes
at a great price and eventually takes its toll.
Suggest a support group, a psychologist, or a
minister to whom your caregiver can openly
express anger, fear, and frustration without
fear of judgment.
5. Your caregiver wants your input
on medical decisions. The responsibility
of making decisions about your treatment
weighs heavily on your caregiver. Decisionmaking is a major stressor.
6. Your caregiver has a foot in two
worlds and often feels pulled beyond the
stretching point. Illness requires a withdrawal from normal activities. Therefore
the patient, at least temporarily, can focus
attention on getting well. I was fortunate
to be at a place in life where I could devote
myself to Jim’s care. Not everyone has this
luxury. Most caregivers (and many patients)
must continue to hold down jobs or keep a
household running when their focus is on
their loved one’s health and recovery.
Be patient with your caregiver, though
they may at times be stressed and stretched,
demanding and domineering, or bumptious
and bossy. The most import thing for you to
know is that your caregiver wants nothing more than to help you become a cancer
thriver and live an abundant, happy and
productive life. n
Follow Cynthia as
she travels through
unfamiliar terrain
and learns that
God doesn’t waste
our suffering.
Cynthia Siegfried
Cynthia Siegfried, author of Cancer
Journey: A Caregiver’s View from the Passenger Seat, is an inspirational speaker,
freelance writer, and co-founder of
f.a.i.t.H.—facing an illness through
Him, a support group for families
facing catastrophic illnesses. Since her
husband’s diagnosis with stage IV lung
cancer, she has become an advocate for
lung cancer awareness and for cancer
caregivers. www.caregivercancerjourney.com
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21
Renew
for me
A Natural Connection
by LEE THRASH
Have you ever spent time in the home fragrance aisle choosing a candle, a
box of potpourri or a plug-in air freshener? Then you’ve come across some
of the amusing names manufacturers and marketers use to entertain us:
Ocean’s First Breeze... Night Beckons... Harvest Vine... Rainkissed Leaves.
Honestly, now: How can anyone know
what the ocean’s “first” breeze smelled like?
And after a morning thunderstorm, do you
think any of those marketing executives are
outside, sniffing the sopping wet—I mean,
“rainkissed”—hedges and trees?
Yet, as human beings we’re inextricably
connected to our natural world. So much so,
that these marketers bank on, and we are
inevitably seduced by, the idea that we can
bring nature itself into our homes and buildings, to our betterment. Some of them truly
accomplish it—a few of my favorites don’t
even try to be creatively named, like “Ripe
Red Tomato” and “Honeysuckle.”
Because we are natural beings, we crave
nature and need it—it heals us in so many
ways. Even as we conduct our lives in buildings and cars, our bodies can’t go very long
without the elements of our earth to center
us. A conversation I recently had with a
friend revealed that she is gravely affected
by the weather. When it’s too hot during the
Georgia summer, she becomes emotionally
depressed. “It’s because I don’t come out of
the house as much,” she explained. “And that’s
unnatural.” Just as people in colder or wetter
climates often experience Seasonal Affective
Disorder (SAD), my friend loses her connection to nature at those times.
Thoreau, the great naturalist, puts it this
way:
22
“Think of our life in nature—daily to
be shown matter, to come in contact with
it—rocks, trees, wind on our cheeks! The
solid earth! The actual world! The common
sense!” [The Maine Woods]
Common sense... And our senses of sight,
smell and touch. We all share this life with
our world. So, how do we make the best use
of this gift and this connection?
We tend it. We treasure it. We spend
time sharing it with each other. We discover
the distinct properties of nature’s inhabitants, and we craft those properties for our
daily use. Consider the specific properties of
nature that Amoena has carefully studied and
included in our products, for your benefit:
n Aloe and Vitamin E, infused into the
fabric of our Hannah bra and post-surgical
garment, to help soothe the skin during treatment and after surgery.
n Silver treatment—our SmartSilver™
technology—in the back fabric of our Premium leisure forms that provides a natural
antimicrobial benefit of inhibiting bacterial
growth.
n Soft, breathable fabrics like cotton, silk
and bamboo in our collection of fashionable,
comfortable headscarves.
It’s experiencing nature that brings us
back to who we really are... whether or not it
smells like a first ocean breeze. n
Lee Thrash
E-business & PR Coordinator, Amoena USA
Lee Thrash manages Amoena’s online
community, theBreastCareSite.com and
Amoena Life magazine to help breast
cancer survivors and their families.
A graduate of Emory University, her
writing experience includes reporting
for and editing health care journals
such as Hospital Case Management,
Case Management Advisor, and Hospital
Home Health (AHC Media), as well as 10+ years editing educational websites,
brochures and publications.
“It Clears Your Mind
and Brightens Your Day”
–Amazon John Easterling, Founder of Amazon Herb Co
Camu Gold
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The human body does not manufacture Vitamin C.
There is no food on the planet with a higher concentration
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Deficiencies of these essential minerals may result in
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With just a few drops, Camu Gold™ delivers an
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Amazon Herb: The Camu Camu Company
Camu Camu grows exclusively in the rich floodplains of
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Contact:
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Founder of Amazon Herb Company
“Amazon John” Easterling and his wife
Olivia Newton-John
There along the bands of the Amazon River, Amazon
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over 28,000 Camu Camu trees, thriving in the nutrient-rich
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Amazon Herb Company has been pioneering Rainforest
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Certified Organic Camu Camu
Our Camu Camu trees are organically grown in the
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Beware of Camu Camu products that may be mixed or
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Our Camu Gold™ is a highconcentrated juice extract of certified
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NAVIGATING FORWARD >>>
Healing the
Whole Person
Questions to Process and Reflect
by SHARON FRANCZ
It would be very hard to find a nurse or nurse navigator who saw only the
physical aspect of care as that which defines nursing. Cancer affects every
aspect of one’s life. Particularly in breast cancer, the physical aspects affect
the body, mind, and spirit.
Cancer not only changes the way you look
on the outside, but also the way you feel on
the inside. The term holistic nursing was first
used in the 1980s. Nursing professionals have
traditionally viewed the person as holistic and
today healthcare professionals speak of the
person as a biopsychosocial unit.
The term holistic is derived from the
Greek word ‘holos’, meaning whole or
complete. The goal of nursing is to restore
wholeness or completeness to our patients.
Nurses must consider the full implications of
the concept ‘holistic’, comparing the interrelationship of one’s body, mind, and spirit in an
ever-changing environment.
Holistic nursing can be practiced in any
setting. Patients may find holistic nurses
in many areas of practice, from hospitals,
private practices, academic and research
facilities and also including hospice and
palliative programs. Holistic nursing
is a way of being, a way of living,
and a way of practicing that
transforms lives.
Nurses practice
within a scope
of care that includes educational requirements and theses standards are then applied
to the care given to patients. Mastering clinical nursing techniques and treatments is
essential in order for nurses to help patients
heal. Nurses who practice holistically consider their own feelings in addition to how
the patients feel inside because the attitude
the nurse conveys has a profound effect on
the patient.
In caring for the breast cancer patient,
this attitude and approach to caring for the
patient may change the patient’s decision
making related to treatment and effect
compliance. Successfully transitioning the
patient from active care to surviving and
thriving is overarching.
Being a Caring and Healing Presence
Practicing holistic care considers the
physical, mental, emotional, social and spiritual aspects of one’s life and attitudes. Both
patients and healthcare professionals benefit
from asking these questions periodically to
reaffirm their commitments to having optimum healing experiences.
The Physical: How could I improve
my diet? Do I make food choices that will
improve my physical body? Do I get enough
restful sleep daily? Do I make movement
and exercise a priority to improve my physical well-being?
The Mental: Do I have a positive attitude
toward my personal life, work and treatment
plan? Do I have a problem-solving orientation toward life, or do I consider myself a
victim? Do I know my strengths and limitations? Do I make time for laughter?
The Emotional: Do I love and accept others and myself? Can I receive love and am I
able to love others? Am I able to express my
own self-truth and have feelings of compassion and affection for others?
The Social: Do I have relationships and
engage in relationships that are wholesome
and loving? Do I engage in relationships
that promote growth in my self and other
individuals? Am I capable of setting healthy
boundaries with others? Is my work meaningful?
The Spiritual: Am I able to connect
with God, a higher self, universe or spirit? Is
meditation, prayer, introspective practices
part of my life? Do I love myself? Do I have
respect for other individuals?
When reflecting on these questions, take
time to process how these principles could
improve your relationships with family,
friends, co-workers and your healthcare providers. Holistic care is a life long process of
deep inner inquiry and growth. Pay particular attention to questions that you replied
“no”. Consider focusing on these areas first.
Create short and long term goals for each
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area that you want to improve. Remember
to treat yourself with compassion, love, and
kindness. Healing the whole person starts
with YOU!
The fundamental goal of the nurse navigator is to provide holistic care and assist all
patients to overcome the barriers which may
be detaining them from achieving their healing goals. Regardless if they are structural or
perceived barriers, the holistic approach to
caring for the patient accomplishes this. To
learn more about holistic nursing or locate a
nurse navigator visit, The American Holistic
Nurses Association www.ahna.org or The
National Coalition of Oncology Nurse Navigators www.nconn.org. n
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CaringBridge helps connect
people during a significant health
challenge. Patients and families can
create a free website to share the
experience and receive support.
To create a website, visit:
www.CaringBridge.org
FREE DOWNLOAD
Sharon Francz
Sharon Francz is the Executive Director,
LPN, BS, BHA, President and Co-founder
of the National Coalition of Oncology
Nurse Navigators. She is also the Oncology Nurse Navigator for Shady Grove
Adventist Hospital in Rockville, MD.
Sharon is a nurse with over 20 years
experience and has a degree in Health
Care Administration. She is a guide and
personal care coach for patients and
families at Shady Grove Adventist Hospital and throughout the expanded
community. She is also the facilitator for four cancer support groups. Sharon
has served as a National Advocate Grant Reviewer for the Susan G. Komen for
the Cure, Grant Reviewer for the D.C. Cancer Consortium, American Society of
Breast Surgeons Board of Advocates Member, C-Change Member and speaks
nationally on patient and oncology nurse navigation.
for Breast Cancer Patients, Survivors and Thrivers
www.BreastCancerWellness.org
By Julie Aigner Clark
Available in Bookstores
Book Heather Jose
for your Professional
and Patient Seminars
Professional Guided
Imagery Certification
www.HealingImages.com
636-273-9003
Change your inner mind and
transform your outer world!
Author of Letters to
Sydney, Every Day I
am Killing Cancer
and Stage IV Breast
Cancer Thriver
Call today!
517-262-8397
HeatherJose.com
GoBeyondTreatment.com
HOW WE BECAME
BREAST CANCER
THRIVERS
Our hindsight can be your foresight
By Beverly Vote, Publisher of the Breast Cancer Wellness Magazine, and 44 Stories From
Her Breast Cancer Thriving Friends Now Living with Conviction, Clarity, Passion and Purpose
Available at
www.HealingImages.com
Get your copy at
BreastCancerWellness.org
Inspire
Thriver Profile
Lillie Shockney
Humor and
Wellness Wisdom
RN, BS, MAS
by BEVERLY VOTE
It was while Lillie Shockney was still recovering from her first mastectomy
surgery that she knew she was meant to devote her life to helping others
facing breast cancer. Lillie is the Administrative Director of the John Hopkins
Avon Foundation Breast Center at Baltimore MD, member of the surgical
faculty, oncology nurse, internationally renowned speaker, breast cancer
survivor and thriver, and author of Stealing Second Base, A Breast Cancer
Survivor’s Experience and Breast Cancer Expert’s Story.
But Lillie’s preparation for her own
healing and for her life’s work began long
before Lillie was an adult. It began as
young as age 12.
Miss Bertha was the best friend of Lillie’s mom. Lillie was only 12 years old when
Miss Bertha was diagnosed with breast
cancer. Though a well-educated woman, a
psychologist, Miss Bertha didn’t know the
warning signs of a breast health problem.
She had an open draining sore on her
breast and a mass the size of a softball for
more than a year before she sought medical
care. By that time, the cancer had advanced
to her ribs, hip joint, lungs, and liver. The
tumor had actually grown so large it had
broken through the skin.
The doctor estimated that Miss Bertha
26
would live approximately five months, and
urged her to go home and get her affairs in
order. She told the doctor she didn’t have
time to get her affairs in order because she
was going to be too busy living. She explained that she made a list of the personal
goals she intended to achieve before she left
this world and she had just decided to add
an additional goal to the list --- that goal
was to outlive him, her doctor! And Miss
Bertha did. She survived for 21 more years.
Her doctor died of a heart attack 18 years
after her diagnosis, so she accomplished
her goal.
At the time Lillie had no idea how
significant Miss Bertha’s attitude about
living would have on her future and her
own personal health. She taught Lillie the
priceless value of humor, a gift that Lillie
experiences and shares in some way every
day that she can.
Lillie’s family kept humor alive, including the most difficult time of telling their
daughter Laura who was 12 at the time
of Lillie’s diagnosis. Laura suggested they
keep the breast in a pickle jar on the fireplace mantel so that if Lillie was ever sad
she could go and look at it, or when Laura
asked if the doctor was going to move her
right breast to the middle of her chest? The
question caught Lillie off guard because she
thought she was prepared for any questions her daughter would ask her, but this
one surprised and humored her when she
thought about the operative consent form
that would be needed for such a surgical
treatment. Yet it was the ingenious insight
of the child that knew the removal of Lillie’s
large breast would create an imbalance in
her posture. Lillie explained what a breast
prosthesis was. Laura’s questions were serious to her but hit Lillie and her husband
right in the funny bone in the perfect way.
They made a pact that every day for the rest
of their lives they would find something
“
I think that humor builds the immune
system, and it is the immune system
that has gone on the blink to allow
cancer cells to grow. So I’m going to
find something to laugh about every
day as part of my treatment.”
—Miss Bertha, Family Friend
funny about the fact that Lillie had been
diagnosed. And they have honored the pact
ever since.
Humor continued to present itself in
Lillie’s life. Funny situations that could
have been ignored, but Lillie allowed the
gift of humor to keep her life in perspective.
One of her friends from Florida sent Lillie
stick-on nipples for her breast prostheses in
hopes of boosting Lillie’s confidence for an
upcoming presentation Lillie was making
about the program she had created in the
Breast Center called “Waking Up Transformed.” Lillie’s presentation was to discuss
ways to improve the surgical experience
for women undergoing breast cancer. Her
audience was mostly a male audience for
her presentation and it was the only time
that Lillie ever thought she was going to be
nervous for a presentation.
Who could have been prepared for what
happened after Lillie returned to the table
after speaking so forthright about what
women needed after breast surgery. She explained to her audience that women needed
to be able to feel in control on their day of
surgery and how their Breast Center could
help women feel less anxiety by educating
women what was going to happen to them
during and after surgery, and that more
help was needed to control nausea. These
were certainly very important messages
that these influential people needed to
know.
Just as Lillie was taking off her jacket
and sat down with her peers, a lovely china
plate of cookies were being passed. When
the plate got square in front of Lillie, she
looked down and on her dessert plate was
one of her nipples. Yes, her stick-on nipple
had made its way to the plate! Lillie was in
shock, the plate was shaking in her hands.
The chairman looked at the dessert plate
and said, “Oh, I didn’t see that they had
those thin wafer cookies. That’s my favorite
cookie.”
Lillie stared at her plate, and quickly
responded “Gee it’s my favorite too and I
If ever I had a doubt that I was in the right profession and doing what
God wanted me to be doing, all doubts left my mind that night.
27
think I’ll save it for later.” She picked up
the nipple and put it in her skirt pocket
and excused herself to the restroom after
scanning the table to see if her other nipple
was laying around someplace it shouldn’t
have been too. Because the stick-on nipple
wasn’t properly applied, it had migrated
over to the pocket of her mastectomy bra so
when Lillie had reached for the cookie plate
being passed, the nipple fell out. Without
her quick thinking, someone might have
been chewing on her nipple! Lillie never
wore the stick-on nipples again.
It’s just not Lillie’s humor that the world
needs more of, but we also benefit from her
wisdom and compassion. In Lillie’s work
she serves women from all other the world
by helping them after being diagnosed
with breast cancer in whatever capacity
she can. She received an email from Bill
that his wife Mary had been battling breast
cancer for more than three years and that
it had advanced to her liver and brain.
The doctor advised Bill that the drugs and
therapy weren’t working anymore and it
was time to switch to “hozpiss.” When Lillie
read the email, her heart sank; Bill didn’t
know what the doctor was telling him. She
couldn’t just e-mail this man back. She had
to speak with him and help Bill understand
that hospice was a service from compassionate individuals who would help his
wife get closure with her life and die with
dignity and be as comfortable and prepared
as possible for end of life.
Needless to say, Bill was devastated and
explained that Mary couldn’t die. They had
two small boys to raise and that he couldn’t
live without her. Lillie helped Bill to see
that he needed to be strong for his family
and help Mary do what she needed to do
in the potentially brief time that remained.
Lillie then asked Bill to go to the local card
store and to explain to the manager his
wife’s situation. Lillie told him to request
that the manager assist him in selecting
birthday cards for each boy up through age
21, holiday cards, graduation from high
school and college, and even cards for the
boys wedding days. The manager would
need to help because many holidays and
events such as Christmas are not displayed
year round and are kept in their storage
28
Join Lillie on the
6th Annual
Breast Cancer
Thrivers Cruise
She will share her personal
journey with breast cancer and
how humor has been one of
her weapons against breast
cancer. She will share with what
it means to be a survivor and the
opportunities life has presented
to her in allowing her to make a
difference in this world for others
and how she wants to inspire
others to do the same. Together
we will laugh, and cry, but all of
us will come away feeling more
enriched and alive and wanting
to help others in their journeys
forward. Together, we will
rock the boat!
See page 42 for details.
room. Bill then was to go to the hospital
and help his wife write one sentence in
each of them for each of their boys. What
message did she want to tell them as they
reached certain milestones of their life?
She could still, through her words, be right
there instilling her values in them and loving them. They would feel her spirit.
Bill e-mailed Lillie four days later that
his wife had passed and that all the cards
were safely placed in a lockbox for the future. Lillie is thankful that she was candid
with Bill about the seriousness of his wife’s
condition so that this family could have
closure in whatever way was best for them.
Affirmations for our life’s work come
in many forms, but the story Lillie shares
about Jo, a 34 year old mother diagnosed
with stage IV breast cancer, is an extraordinary message, one which might give you
goosebumps as it did me. I have read it
more than once to let the beauty of its message soak in even more.
The Story of Jo
I was sitting at my desk responding
to e-mails one afternoon when my phone
rang. I picked up the receiver and provided my usual introductions: “This is Lille
Shockney. May I help you?” The voice on
the other end of the phone was desperate
and tearful. “Who is there?” I replied again,
“This is Lillie Shockney.” “Where am I calling?” I replied, You’ve reached the Breast
Center.” “But where? Which breast center?”
I was surprised to think that she was so
stressed she wasn’t even sure what institution she was calling. I simply responded,
“The Johns Hopkins Breast Center.” She
then said, “Can you help me?” I said yes,
without even asking yet what her problem
was and then asked her to describe her situation to me. She tearfully explained that
she was a new mother, age 34, and her baby
was just a week old. She had been diagnosed with inflammatory breast cancer that
had spread to her bones and lungs. She had
told her OB doctor numerous times during
her pregnancy that her one breast was red,
hot, and hard. He had placed her on antibiotics, which she had taken for more than 3
months without relief and steadily watched
nominate the
TM
in your life
©2011 Bright Starts™ is a registered trademark of Kids II, Inc.
WHO IS A PINK POWER MOM?
She is a mother who has persevered through a battle
with breast cancer and continues to be a role model
to her family and community. Pink Power Moms inspire
everyone whose lives they touch, so the Bright Starts
mission is to share their stories with the world.
WHAt dOES SHE WIN?
The eight winning moms will each receive a $5,000
donation to the breast cancer charity of her choice, a
weekend getaway, plus pampering gifts just for her.
CELEBRAtE 5 YEARS StRONg
With cancer, 5 years is an important milestone. It means
you’re winning. This year, the Pink Power Mom initiative is
celebrating its fifth year of applauding women who have
made a difference for others.
Mary Ann Wasil Nilan
2011 Pink Power Super Mom
2010 PINK PO
WER MO
MS: Cin
di Hart
•
her today at
www.pinkpowermom.com
Dolly A
shton
O’Nea
l • Hil
lary Sw
ee
Nominations run from April 1 through June 30, 2011.
t • Linda
Blair • Lydi
a Dody • Tami Boehmer • Wendy McCoole
29
“Being diagnosed with breast cancer and being given the
to step back and assess how we are
ing is really
opportunity to survive provides each of us with the chance
spending our time and begin to look more closely as to whether what we are do-
contributing to this world in a positive way. We are in touch with our mortality ahead of schedule and
begin to realize that life is more
precious than we recognized or conceived and needs to be valued and not taken
for granted. Relationships take on a different tone, some perhaps ending and others becoming more
meaningful.”
—Lillie Shockney
her breast get worse. She had complained
that her hips hurt and her ribs hurt. Still
she was ignored and told that all these
symptoms were related to her pregnancy.
When she delivered by C-section, she
complained more about her ribs hurting
than her new abdominal incision. Still her
doctor didn’t listen, but the anesthesiologist did. He was concerned and requested a
chest x-ray 24 hours after the baby arrived.
There were pathological fractures to her
ribs. She had metastatic disease, and it was
everywhere. She was told that there was no
treatment. It was too late and to go home
and spend time with her new baby. They
estimated she would live 3 to 4 weeks at the
most. That conversation had taken place
just days before her call to me. So she said,
“Please tell me Hopkins can do something.
I don’t want to die and leave my baby. I
don’t want to leave my husband alone to
raise her. Please help me live, even if just
for a year.”
I instructed her to come to Hopkins the
next morning, and when I hung up with
her I wondered what I could do to buy
her time. Was it possible? What would it
take? Was it unrealistic to give her a sense
of hope? I worried during the rest of the
evening and night. I arranged for her to see
a surgical oncologist as well as a medical
oncologist the next morning. She arrived
with her husband in the clinic. Her baby
was being taken care of by her mother at
home. She walked toward me and I put my
arms out to embrace her, being as careful
as I could to not squeeze her too tight as
to avoid hurting her brittle bones more.
She walked like she was 98 years old. Her
husband looked like a deer caught in a car’s
headlights—scared, bewildered, and very
nervous. He was just 28 years old. They had
been married 3 years. This was their first
child. He acted a bit odd though when he
30
met me. He pointed at my name badge and
shouted, “IS THAT YOUR NAME?” I said,
“Yes, this is my name on my ID badge.” A
few minutes into the consultation with the
team he turned to me again and said, “Is
that YOUR name on the badge?” I again
replied that it was. Thirty minutes later
he asked me yet again about my ID badge.
“I need to know if that is YOUR name on
your badge.” I replied again, “Yes, this is
my name. The badge says Lillian Shockney. That’s my legal name. Everyone calls
me Lillie. Please call me Lillie too.” Jo, the
patient turned to him and said, “Honey, I
told you last night that I called and got connected to this wonderful nurse and she said
that Hopkins could help us so we are here
and they are going to help us. Help me.
Don’t you remember?” He nodded his head
yes but still stared at my name badge.
It’s just not Lillie’s
humor that the
world needs more of,
but we also benefit
from her wisdom
and compassion. In
Lillie’s work she serves
women from all other
the world by helping
them after being
diagnosed with breast
cancer in whatever
capacity she can.
We were able to help Jo. We got her
underway with chemotherapy in 48 hours.
Though she understood her prognosis was
poor, she was appreciative of any time that
treatment would afford her. She wanted to
be here as long as possible to raise her new
baby. We set a goal initially of six months.
Once we saw that her disease was responding to chemo, the goal was changed to 1
year and then 2 years. I saw Jo and her
husband regularly. She even was able to
eventually have a mastectomy and took
a break from chemo and radiation for 2
months to spend time with her family and
enjoy being a mother. It was a huge celebration when her child turned 2—a point in
time that frankly none of us thought was
initially achievable.
Her husband called me one evening at
my home. Usually, he would call if there
was a problem, but this time he was calling for a different reason. He wanted to
thank me for helping his wife and him and
making it possible for his wife to live as
long as she had. He realized that she probably wouldn’t make it to their little girl’s
next birthday, but he appreciated the time
they had had together and wanted to tell
me a story. He asked if I remembered the
first time I had met him. I told him that I
remembered him accompanying Jo to the
breast center and that he was very stressed.
He said, “Yes, and I kept asking you about
your name badge.” I had actually forgotten
that part until he mentioned it to me again.
I replied, “You were very nervous that day. I
didn’t think much about it.” He said, “Well,
I’ve thought a lot about it and want to tell
you a story and hope you won’t think that
I’m out of my mind. My grandmother lived
with me when I was growing up. She and I
were very close. She was wheelchair bound
since I was a toddler but she never let life
get her down. She was a remarkable and
loving woman. Even though Jo and I married, I still stopped at my parents’ house every day on my way home from work to see
her. That’s how close we were. She became
very ill toward the end of Jo’s pregnancy,
and we knew that she was going to die. I
was with her that evening at her bedside,
a moment I will never forget. You see that
was before we knew Jo had cancer, before
all the bad news came. It was two weeks before the baby was born. Grandmom said to
me, “I wish I could live long enough to see
your baby come into this world. This new
life that will soon be here. But I can’t and I
accept that as God’s decision. But I hope to
return to you as a guardian angel over all
three of you and you won’t necessarily know
me by my face but you will instead know
me by my name.” He paused a moment, and
then said, “Her name was Lillian. You see,
my wife wasn’t calling Johns Hopkins the
day she got connected to you on the phone.
She was calling her mother who lives in a
totally different area code than yours and
has a totally different phone number. I believe my grandmother fulfilled her promise
to me and connected Jo to you.” I shivered
as I heard him describe this to me. No wonder this young man was so focused on my
name badge when he met me. He had never
shared his grandmother’s dying words with
Jo either. The additional irony is that I was
named for my grandmother.
Jo lived another year, passing shortly
after their daughter’s third birthday. She
accomplished her goals. She wanted to
survive long enough that her child would
remember her. To this day her little girl
tells her daddy that every morning early
before sunup she sees her mommy’s face,
just her face, and hears her voice say, “Good
morning sunshine!” So that tells me that Jo
is serving as a guardian angel over her little
girl now. This gives me a sense of comfort
and peace too.
If ever I had a doubt that I was in the
right profession and doing what God
wanted me to be doing, all doubts left my
mind that night. And though the story
sounds far-fetched, it is all true, and I feel
blessed for having been the chosen one to
help this family. n
* Excerpted
with
permission
from Lillie’s
book,
Stealing
Second
Base.
Are you ready to go Beyond Treatment?
• 12 Year Breast Cancer Thriver of stage IV breast cancer
• Diagnosed at age 26 with approximately 6 months to live
• Inspirational leader for positive healing actions and
making your words count
• Dynamic speaker to empower your groups and
healthcare providers
• Co-author of The Healing Agreement
Looking for Inspiration
on your Cancer Journey?
Buy the book today!
It’s time to go beyond treatment!
Contact Heather today.
“Letters to Sydney is a compelling and
riveting approach to give hope to those
experiencing cancer. it is a must read for
every woman diagnosed with cancer.”
Speaker, Author, Thriver
[email protected] 517-262-8397
www.GoBeyondTreatment.com
–Greg Anderson, Author of The Cancer Conqueror
Founding Chairman & CEO
Cancer Recovery Foundation of America
31
Inspire
Thriver Profile
It’s About Empowering
Each Other
by COURTNEY BUGLER
I had spent most of my adult life before breast cancer moving around a lot.
I lived in big cities and small towns. I worked on cruise ships for years—I call
a mean game of bingo—and for a long time I reveled in the travel and the
adventure. The longest I had lived in one place when I was diagnosed was 2
years. The downside of course, was my lack of connection to any one place.
No real home. No one neighborhood to call my own.
My family lived hundreds, sometimes
thousands of miles away and my dearest
friends weren’t any closer. Most days, this
didn’t phase me. But the day I found out I
had breast cancer wasn’t most days.
Being diagnosed with breast cancer as
a young women is very isolating. Really, it
sucks at any age, but no one likes to be in the
minority of any experience, and for a 28 year
old, I was definitely not “normal”. Hearing
the words, “I’m sorry, you have breast cancer” was like sitting in Charlie Brown’s classroom. The teacher is talking but you don’t
understand a word. I didn’t know a soul who
had faced this disease. There was no one I
could turn to for advice, help or some sort
of map of the journey ahead. Someone had
dropped me off by the side of the road and
taken my GPS with them. I don’t think I
32
ever felt so alone.
That is, until I started to tell people.
Keeping things under wraps was never really my style anyway. In the beginning, just
saying the words aloud was hard enough.
It made them real; my life was now forever
changed. But by speaking those words, “I
have breast cancer,” other survivors found
me. It was like letting the world know I was
in the club. I knew the secret handshake.
First, it was the sister of a woman I worked
with. Diagnosed at a young age herself,
she probably spent hours sending me long
emails about what to expect and questions
to ask. She did not know me, but I had
breast cancer and I needed help. That’s
all she needed to know. She was the first
to reach out, but she definitely wasn’t the
last. There were cards, emails and phone
calls from friends of friends and mothers of
friends—all with the same goal: to give me
directions on my path, to light the way, to
guide me over the speed bumps and around
the roadblocks. It was as if I had been given
a compass for my trip. Even better, I had my
own personal sherpa, ready to take my bag,
lighten my load and lead me back.
Some say breast cancer is the club with
the worst initiation fee. For me, however,
it opened up this entire world of women
and men who immediately opened their
hearts to me. Unconditionally. No questions
asked. Suddenly, I had a group of women I
connected to, there for me 24-7. They gave
me ideas on shaving my head, what to eat
during chemo and what questions to ask.
Mostly, though, they gave me a place to talk
about the disease and not have to explain
it, not have to rationalize my feelings and
not have to comfort the person you’re talking to. They have been sisters and mothers
and grandmothers to me, when they have
absolutely no reason to be. Finally, it felt like
I had a community to belong to. It took getting cancer to give it to me, but there it was.
And that followed me as I moved again,
this time halfway through my treatment.
Within days of moving to Atlanta, a mother
of my best friend’s friend (you got that?),
invited me to a local support group. I call
them the Ya-Yas, probably because the first
day I walked in the room, they were dressed
in boas and crowns and celebrating a birthday. The only thing missing was the mint
juleps. The Ya-Yas immediately took me
in—I had two dozen new southern mothers.
I found a group of young women through
my hospital, women who immediately asked
if I needed help learning the city and asking
me if I wanted to go out for lunch. I found
the Young Survival Coalition (www.youngsurvival.org) and I was introduced to young
women like me from all over the country,
women who knew what it was like because
they had been there. Suddenly, my journey
didn’t feel as hard, the turns weren’t as sharp
and the climb not as steep. Because there
were people walking beside me.
My husband jokes that if it weren’t for
breast cancer, I wouldn’t have any friends
in Atlanta. He’s right in a way, but it’s much
more than that. For a woman with no roots,
who started her breast cancer experience
alone, I had joined a community. More importantly, I had found a home. And they had
found me. I didn’t have to do a whole lot—
just let these women into my life. And even
if I when I was tired, or scared or sick—even
if I said I wanted to be alone, they knew
better. They knew I just needed a direction
and they knew how to show it to me. They
were better than any navigation system. This
community isn’t about geography; it’s about
a shared experience. It’s about empowering
each other, giving each other strength, help-
ing each other thrive and learning to move
forward with our lives.
Breast cancer gave that to me. It’s a
community I will always hold dear; one I
am thankful for every day. And now, as I am
5 years from my diagnosis, I give back to
that same community. I work full time for
Young Survival Coalition now, and I speak to
women each and every day who are new to
this path. I try to hand them a GPS. And tell
them that this community will be with them
for life. n
Courtney Bugler is a 5 year breast cancer survivor
and the Executive Director of Young Survival
Coalition’s Atlanta Affiliate. She is also this year’s
Emcee for the Breast Cancer Thriver’s Cruise.
Courtney and her son Aiden
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Inspire
Thriver Profile
Turning
Trauma
into
Triumph
by TAMI BOEHMER
I was a few days shy of my 39th birthday when I first heard the words, “You
have breast cancer.” It was caught early enough for my oncologist to tell me,
“Your prognosis is excellent.” Five years later, I learned it had returned in my
liver and lymph nodes in the armpit and chest. This time, I didn’t receive the
rosy prognosis.
At first I felt numb and depressed; then
came the anger. I was determined to prove
wrong the doctors who told me I was going
to die from this.
It started when I decided not to return
to a very stressful job and started my new
career: getting Tami well. I began making
significant changes in my lifestyle. Exercise, prayer, visualization, and affirmations
became part of my daily routine. My whole
diet changed as I eliminated sugar and
opted for organic produce and supplements
with cancer-fighting properties.
Soon I released my anger and desire
to “prove something” and started feeling
fully alive, perhaps for the first time in my
life. One of the most healing actions I took
was talking to other stage IV survivors who
were thriving. It gave me hope, and I felt
deeply connected to others who had similar
34
experiences.
My focus was on moving forward; not
looking back. But a string of events led me
to look at my past again and how I can learn
from it.
I recently had the honor of being interviewed by Angela Schaefers, a remarkable,
fellow stage IV survivor; for her radio show
Your Story Matters. Angela, a former counselor and career coach, created the radio
show to share her and others’ stories of overcoming challenges from cancer to domestic
abuse and addiction.
One of her questions struck me as particularly insightful: Were there events in my
childhood that attributed to my perseverance as I heal from cancer?
In a lovely case of serendipity, I had been
struggling with “old stuff ” from my childhood. My mother recently had a hip replace-
ment, and I found I could barely tolerate
staying in the hospital room with her. I even
had a dream in which I had to take care of
a large “package of junk” my mother left
behind
I’ve read a lot about how past traumas
can often contribute to having cancer. One
of the first questions a naturopath asked me
was, “Were there any significant traumatic
events leading up to your diagnosis?”
Recently, researchers at the University of
Toronto confirmed that physical abuse as a
child increases your risk of cancer in adulthood by 49 percent—regardless of whether
or not you smoke, drink alcohol, or are
physically active. The study’s lead researcher
speculated that chronic stress in childhood
elevates levels of the hormone cortisol,
which can hinder the immune system’s ability to fight cancer.
I certainly fit the bill. My childhood was
a stressful mess. When I was very young, my
family moved to another city and left me in
the care of a relative for four years. She loved
me dearly, but had a prescription drug addiction which led her to physically abuse me.
My mother was also a prescription drug
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35
addict, my father and oldest brother suffered
from bipolar disorder, and my other brother
dealt with the situation by getting in trouble
with drugs. When I was eight, my father
attempted suicide. From then on, I was assigned the duty of taking care of our home
and my mother, who was bedridden from
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So it seems I can blame my family for
having cancer? No, as Angela’s question
infers, I can thank my circumstances for
making me who I am today. Something deep
inside me, which I believe
was God, helped me survive
those situations. And later
in life, it helped me thrive.
It’s a paradox in a way; my
past might have very well
contributed to having cancer,
yet it also helped me once I
was diagnosed.
I’ve been working on
healing my past since college. So when I heard the
words, “You have cancer,”
I already had a healthy
support system and way of
thinking.
From therapy and attending 12-step meetings, I discovered how
to take care of myself and be the parent I
always wanted. The result: finally loving
myself and seeking happiness from within.
I developed my own family of friends and
supporters. And most important, I renewed
my faith in God, which was extinguished as
a young child. I was no longer alone.
Through this work, I realized that some
of my liabilities from the past actually have
served as assets as I heal from cancer. Right
from the start of my diagnosis, my overdeveloped sense of responsibility from trying
to save my mother and family helped me
take action to save my own life. I’m able to
use my perseverance I needed to overcome
my childhood to address the ongoing challenges of stage IV cancer. And my sense of
empathy and desire to help others then, now
enhances my life today as I connect with
other cancer survivors.
Although I’m married to a wonderful
man and have a beautiful 12-year-old daughter, I still have to remember that “little Tami”
needs me, too. Cancer put an exclamation
point on why I need to pay attention to my
physical, emotional and spiritual health. I
try to share that message with other cancer
survivors. My mantra is, “Take care of you.”
Sometimes that means saying “no” to my
mother’s requests and risk appearing as a
“bad daughter.” I’ve learned I cannot solve
her problems. Often the best I can do is pray
for her and love her from afar. If I ever want
to heal completely, that means placing my
needs and the needs of my own family
first. I’ve learned this kind
of “healthy selfishness” is
vital for my emotional and
physical health, while giving people the opportunity
to take responsibility for
their own lives.
Recently, I attended a
fascinating workshop on
forgiveness by Michael S.
Barry, author of The Forgiveness Project. He talked about
the dangers of avoidance and
the importance of addressing issues. People who avoid
issues tend to experience
what is known as, “psychological kindling.”
Over time, the issue becomes worse and it
manifests itself as illness. I’m grateful for the
years I’ve been throwing water on that fire
before it got out of control and that I have
“buckets” in reserve when needed.
It’s been three years since I was diagnosed with stage IV cancer. According to
scans, there is still a small amount of cancer
in my body, and it’s stable. But I’m healthy,
happy and whole despite what they might
indicate. I am NOT my scan results or a
statistic, and I am certainly not defined by
cancer.
My ultimate goal is to be free of cancer
like so many people I’ve met over the years.
When that will happen, I don’t know. But I
do believe in divine order. Everything in the
past has prepared me for where I am today.
Without that survival instinct that served
me as a child, I believe I wouldn’t be here
today… thriving; not just surviving. n
Tami Boehmer is a blogger, speaker and author
of From Incurable to Incredible: Cancer Survivors
Who Beat the Odds, which features 27 stories of
individuals who overcame a terminal diagnosis. The
book is available on Amazon.com (in paperback
and Kindle) and BarnesandNoble.com. Tami’s blog,
Miracle Survivors, has been named one of the Top 10
Breast Cancer blogs by Blogs.com. You can contact
Tami and find out more about her book at www.
MiracleSurvivors.com.
Inspire
LIFE IS
ON THE
freeway
He sat next to me in Seat 9B, his mind engaged in a book that looked
“brainy”. From the window at seat 9A, I watched the luggage handlers load
the baggage and once again settled back to get ready for take-off. My cell
jingled my familiar ring and I answered “Suzie Humphreys”. Not having much
time to talk, I postponed the conversation with the caller to a later time, hung
up, turned off all electronic equipment, and fastened the seat belt.
The grey bearded man sitting next to me
said “You’re Suzie Humphreys, right?”
“I am unless you’re a bill collector!”
Chuckling he retorted “Well can you beat
that! I listened to one of your CDs years ago
and it changed my life”!
“No way!” I answered. “Which one was it?”
“The one where you told about your
friend who wouldn’t get on the freeway. That
story just stuck with me and when I heard it
I said to myself… that woman could be me.
I’ve always been kind of withdrawn; don’t
mix too well with other folks; just always in
the background. I guess I was just shy and
didn’t have much self esteem. Well because
of that story, I started going everywhere! I’m
on my way to the Space Center in Huntsville
where you’re headed. I’m gonna look around
and see what happens.
I interrupted with “You don’t have any
plan? You have no appointment? You’re not
meeting anyone? Do you even know anyone
there?”
“Nope! Don’t know a soul. But heck last
week I was in LA just seeing what would
happen. Sure enough I meet a guy who
knows a guy and I ended up going to the
Grammys and a big Hollywood party afterwards. After the Space Center, I’m winding
my way up to New York and then to Canada.
Who knows what I’ll find there? I’m single. I
have no children, why not?”
“Why not is right!” I cheered. “You’re just
living life like it’s a treasure map and one clue
leads to another. I love your story. One thing
about it… by the way… what’s your name?”
“Byron.”
“Well Byron, by golly you are surely not
shy now! Look at you… sitting up here talking to a stranger!”
“Yeah and what’s more I’ve always want-
37
ed to meet you! You’re the one
that got me up and going and
you need to tell other folks that
story. See what’s happened?
I decide to fly to Huntsville,
Alabama and here I am sitting
next to you!”
So, to you the reader here
is the story I call “Life Is on
the Freeway.”
She arrived at her job
every morning, punctually at
eight, made her way around the boxes
and stacks of video tapes and cassettes,
sat down at her desk and peered over the
mountains of unanswered correspondence
and invoices waiting to be sent out so that
money would be sent in. She had worked
at the recording and duplicating shop for
years, and though there seemed to be no
local filing system, she knew exactly where
everything was.
She took orders over the phone, appeased
the impatient and demanding, and juggled
the staff ’s schedule as if she were assigning
landing forces in some war zone, and, all in
the sweetest and most gentle voice. It was
the softness that calmed you. It was the crystal clear blue of her eyes and her warm wide
smile that made you know that you could
trust this woman with anything.
Her days seemed to meld together. She
never went out for lunch, and the only thing
she seemed to do for pleasure was to step
outside every now and then for a smoke
break. I wondered what her life was away
from the “shop”. Did she go to dinner or
movies with friends? How did she live? I
honestly hoped she had a
“secret life”, some passion or
adventure. Someone to dispel
the “sameness”.
When the theatre tickets
arrived for me at the radio station, I thought of her. I could
not use the four tickets but I
knew how much she loved the
theatre, especially musicals. I
couldn’t wait to give them to
her and see the excitement on
her face. That afternoon I was
standing in front of her, pressing the tickets
into her hand, and watching her face beam
wide as the moon.
She said “Oh Suzie, I love the theatre, you
know I love the theatre.”
I told her I couldn’t wait to give them to
her and suggested that she call three friends,
have a marvelously expensive dinner and
treat herself as if she were the most appreciated, special person alive.
She again looked at the tickets and then
in a flat, deflated, whisper she moaned, “Oh
dear, the musical is in Ft. Worth. I live in
Dallas.”
I said, “Soooo? That’s only thirty miles
away.
She hung her head and murmured, “But
I don’t go on the freeway.”
I cried, “Why not?”
She then explained that seven years earlier she had been in an automobile accident
and was afraid to drive on any roads other
than in a small confined area of the vast city
where she lived.
I took her hands and pleaded, “But that
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38
was seven years ago. This is today and life is
on the freeway.”
“I know,” she answered, “but I just can’t
do it. I can’t go and I thank you, but I can’t
use the tickets.” I told her how sorry I was
and then left. That afternoon I presented
them to someone else and turned my car
north on the freeway toward home.
A month later, in Dallas, I was on an
American Airlines flight waiting for final
boarding and I noticed an elderly couple
(possibly in their mid 80’s) just standing
in the aisle. They explained to the flight
attendant that she had left her glasses in
their hotel room in College Station and they
couldn’t read their seat assignment. They
mentioned that they had been in America
for their son’s graduation and had traveled
all over and were headed back to their home
in Australia. Mind you, she couldn’t see and
he had a severe limp and a bandaged arm.
They were fearless! They were undaunted!
I just marveled at them and, as I watched, I
was reminded of my friend and the theatre
tickets. My friend who chose not to go on
the freeway. My friend who had settled for
day-to-day life in a world that shut out all
that was opened for her to receive. She was
confined by her own fear and her obsession
of safety. Now, before me, a couple, old, half
blind, traveling halfway around the world
with a faith that what they needed would
come, and if it didn’t that was all right too.
My Episcopal priest at Saint Barnabas in
Fredericksburg, Texas closes every service
with these words “go out to love and serve
and be kind to one another, for we are ALL
engaged in a “great struggle”. So whatever
our dilemma or fear, as long as we have one
more day and one more breath.
GO! DO! LAUGH! LIVE! n
Suzie Humphrey
For more uplifting monthly messages
from Suzie go to www.suziehumphreys.
com and click on suzie’s newsletter. No
jokes, no forwards... just everyday “lifelifts”. Whether it is the challenge of a
change or acceptance... in relationships
or situations... in the home of on the
job... Suzie Humphreys helps you rise
to the occasion with all the vigor and
enthusiasm that living this wonderful
life demands. When she leaves you with is the unmistakeable warmth of
having been touched and the unshakeable affirmation that whether ordinary
or extraordinary, through good times or bad, caught in mid-frailty or new
accomplishment “Life Really Is The Greatest Thing Ever”!
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ECAME
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BE A THRIVER!
Send your photo wearing your
I am a Thriver! shirt and share how you are
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Include your name, city, state (email optional)
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These will appear in the next issue
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41
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Healing Cream
GUTSY LADY COACHING is committed to
helping their clients move forward to live a
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and adventure. A life with no regrets!
630-219-1992 www.gutsylady.com
Lymphedema Garments
CARING COMPRESSIONS LLC Based in Northwest
Arkansas, Caring Compressions is the area’s
leading provider of fitted compression garments,
lymphatic pumps, and mastectomy products.
Please call us with your questions - we’re here to
help. 479-633-8810 www.caringcompressions.com
Gentle Touch Medical Products, Inc.
Front Closure Recovery Garments. Choose from
pretty camisoles, pajama sets and bras. Made in
the USA. 100% cotton, holds up to 8 drains. Send a
friend a RECOVERY GIFT BASKET. 1-800-989-5726
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Truekare Breast Forms www.truekare.com
Janac Mastectomy
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BOSOM BUDDY is a lightweight, more
comfortable alternative to silicone prostheses.
Fully weighted and adjustable, for complete
or partial mastectomy in a range of sizes and
skin-tone colors. Call 1-800-262-2789 for more
information or a free brochure or visit
www.bosombuddy.com
NEARLY ME www.nearlyme.org
Jillianna Mastectomy Wear Jillianna is
a new post mastectomy non-silicone form. The
unique design is soft, supple and cooler than
silicone. Visit Jillianna.com to learn about this
break through product and rediscover freedom.
Call 1-866-637-4442. www.jillianna.com
45
Connect
Mastectomy Products
Natural Skin & Hair Care
AMURIE Skincare THE GIFT OF HEALTH AS
WELL AS BEAUTY! Proud signer of the Clean
Cosmetic Database. Products do not contain parabens, hormone disrupter synthetic ingredients,
animal testing or by products. www.amurie.com
610-990-5993
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Travel
Travel Towards Wellness Woman-owned
travel company specializing in health and wellness
travel programs for women living with, working
through, and surviving a cancer diagnosis. Our
clientele includes survivors, co-survivors, family
and friends. www.traveltowardswellness.com
Wellness Consultants
Oncology Nurse Navigators
During Every Stage of Your Recovery,
You CAN Be Comfortable
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Providing... Post-Mastectomy Products including
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Mastectomy Products & “Lifestyle” Apparel
NCONN promotes excellence in oncology patient
care by fostering collaborative relationships and
professional development among oncology nurse
navigators and all healthcare disciplines locally,
regionally and nationally. www.nconn.org
Radiation Therapy
RADX 2% Lidocaine, Organic
Aloe, anti-reddening, antiinflammatory, nfragranced,
OTC. Ask oncology nurses.
Order online at CVS.com,
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WhatsNextForMyLife.com Provides life
changing tools to thrive for anyone affected by
cancer. Inspirational speaking, individual sessions,
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phone, web or in person. Companion Journal for
patients and survivors. Call 954-565-6894 or visit
WhatsNextForMyLife.com.
Wigs
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Support Groups
The Shower Shirt™ is a must for all mastectomy patients. Keep drain sites dry following breast
surgery; lumpectomy, reconstruction, breast
reduction and augmentation. +Enjoy a shower
post‐surgery. PERFECT GIFT Call: 207‐430‐3313
www.theshowershirt.com Discount for EW members
Breast Friends of Cadillac MI Breast
Friends Affiliate Support Group. Meets second
Monday of each month at 5:30 p.m. at CareLinc
Home Medical Equipment and Supply, 205 Bell
Ave, Cadillac MI. Contact Robin Mosher at 231-7757143, [email protected]
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Thermography Services
Work From Home
Mastectomy Services
A-NU-YU Areola/Nipple Repigmentation. Experience restoration
after reconstruction through an
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which creates an illusion of nipple
protrusion and a realistic areola,
camouflage scars and more. SPCP
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46
THERMOGRAPHY is a true breast cancer
screening and early detection tool. Thermography
helps to distinguish between non-cancerous and
cancerous cells in the breasts, hence, avoiding
unnecessary procedures. 410-296-6100
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Join us at the Hyatt Regency in
New Orleans!
“You have breast cancer...” Life-altering words women hope and often think they will never hear—especially at a young age. When a
young woman is diagnosed with breast cancer, she can feel isolated and alone. Her psychosocial and medical issues are fundamentally different than those of older,
post-menopausal women, as is the impact of her diagnosis on her family and friends. With the bulk of medical and psychological resources designed for women over
50, a younger woman may not know where to turn. More aggressive cancers, fertility, relationship issues, treatment-induced early menopause, living decades with
this serious diagnosis—these are just a few ways a younger woman’s breast cancer experience can be unique. To address these issues, Living Beyond Breast Cancer
and Young Survival Coalition have created C4YW—an annual conference for young women affected by breast cancer and those who support them.
Keep up-to-date on upcoming conference news at c4yw.org
or by finding us at C4YW on Facebook!
All Day Cool
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Danielle is wearing our Lace Front Bra, Style 101 in beige.
All of our models are breast cancer survivors.
www.americanbreastcare.com

Lillie Shockney - Breast Cancer Wellness

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