The Actor vs. The Character By - Savannah College of Art and

The Actor vs. The Character
By: Derrick A. Roper
Submitted in Partial Fulfillment of the Requirements for the Degree of Master of Fine Arts in
Performing Arts
at
The Savannah College of Art and Design
© May, 2012, Derrick A. Roper
The author hereby grants SCAD permission to reproduce and to distribute publicly paper and
electronic thesis copies of document in whole or in part in any medium now known or hereafter
created.
Signature of Author and Date __________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________________/_/_
Vivian Majkowski
Date
Committee Chair
____________________________________________________________________/_/_
David Storck
Date
Committee Member
____________________________________________________________________/_/_
Michael Wainstein
Date
Committee Member
The Actor vs. The Character
A Thesis Submitted to the Faculty of the Media & Performing Arts Department
In Partial Fulfillment of the Requirements for the
Degree of Master of Fine Arts
Savannah College of Art and Design
By
Derrick A. Roper
Savannah, GA
© May, 2012
Table of Contents
Abstract Statement………………………………………………………………………………1
Introduction……………………………………………………………………………………...2
Chapter 1: The World of the Play………………………………………………………………..5
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The “Down Low” Lifestyle
Stereotypes
Reasoning Behind the AIDS Epidemic
Coming Out
Chapter 2: Examination…………………………………………………………………………11
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The Facts
Compare and Contrast
Chapter 3: How do I Relate to Wendal…………………………………………………………13
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Similarities & Differences
Chapter 4: My Process…………………………………………………………………………..15
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The Conclusion
Artist Statement
My Journal
Works Cited…………………………………………………………………………………….27
Appendix………………………………………………………………………………………..28
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Character Analysis
Script Analysis
Flyer for the Show
Photos throughout My Process
The Actor vs. The Character
Derrick A. Roper
© May, 2012
The actor is faced with different roles and obstacles. It is the job of the actor to overcome
those obstacles in the process of creating a work of art. The actor’s journey is never finished; it is
a never ending process of creativity. When taking on certain roles, actors have to transform
physically. The actor also has to prepare his/her mental state by using psychological techniques
or their imagination to find a deeper connection to the character they are portraying. Lastly, they
must emotionally commit to the needs and the given circumstances that the character is facing. In
the process of creating the character of Wendal Bailey in the play Before It Hits Home, I will
demonstrate that, through research, and the development of physical and psychological aspects
of the character, the challenges of building a believable performance can be overcome leading to
a fully-realized human portrayal that is in accordance with the intent of the playwright and that
serves the play.
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Introduction
“If the actor connects with the role and the role is brought to life, then a technique or system is
not necessary. In this sense, the actor does not so much become someone else as he becomes
him. This achievement in acting may only happen once or twice in one's life, so the remainder of
one’s performances requires technique. Each individual actor, however, must decide whether or
not an approach or technique to their acting 'works' for them in their performance. In essence,
his constant goal in life was to formulate some codified, systematic approach that might impart
to any given actor with some grip on his 'instrument', that is, himself.” –Stanislavski
I discovered my passion for acting when I was seven years old. I was cast as the lead
actor in my elementary school’s production of Yankee Doodle. I sang, danced, and acted my
way into the hearts of hundreds. There may have even been a standing ovation. It was on that
small stage that this passion for acting was ignited and a burning desire to perform took place in
my heart.
Despite my huge success as an elementary actor, I was sure that I would be a pediatrician
when I grew up, and becoming a professional performer was never on my agenda. However, on
the first day of my community college biology class, as I listened to the lecture, I realized that I
was not meant to be a pediatrician. I considered what would make me most happy and decided
that I needed to begin studying dramatic arts instead of pre-medicine. For the first time in my
life, I opened my mind to being a performer. I let my passion for performing consume me, and
great things have happened for me ever since.
What inspires me most about performing is not the possibility of stardom or the need for
a spotlight, which motivates some actors. I love the direct impact I have on an audience for a
short moment in their lives because I know that my work might affect someone’s life forever. I
believe that making that type of impact should be the goal of every performer.
Throughout my acting career thus far, the majority of the roles I have taken on have been
in musical theatre. This style of theatre is where I have been most content. When taking on
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musical theatre roles, I founded it to be more comfortable and less challenging than straight plays
or legitimate theatre, where musical selections are not the main focus, because before I tackled
the role of Wendal Bailey I had been better trained in that style of theatre.
My process for musical theatre is different. When developing a character in a musical
theatre piece the music helps me create the character; the rhythm and lyrics are what I depend on
to help me bring the character to life. Without music to be my anchor in legitimate theatre, I have
to depend on the given circumstances to help me tap into that natural emotion and deliver an
honest performance. This was one of my biggest fears when approaching the character Wendal
in Before it Hits Home. Also, a lot of the roles I’ve had to portray in past productions were
different from my actual personality, which surprisingly made it easier to develop those
characters. Unlike characters in the past, Wendal’s life and my own share a number of
similarities.
While reading Before it Hits Home, I realized that the character of Wendal possessed a lot
of my fears, lifestyle choices, and mistakes. This was terrifying and thrilling. I had never
encountered a character that was so much like me. I knew that if I did this role, I would be
exposing myself in ways that I have never done before. I thought to myself, “Am I ready to tell
this story?” and “Am I ready to be this character?”
As actors, we can always find some similarities between ourselves and the characters we
are portraying. In some cases, we have the opportunity to portray characters that force us to
confront an uncomfortable part of ourselves; Wendal, in Before it Hits Home, is such a character.
Wendal’s struggle with his homosexuality and living the “down low” lifestyle strikes a
resonant chord. I’m going to explore this character’s similarities and differences within myself to
help me better understand him and bring this character to life. Because Wendal’s life is so
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similar to mine, the role presents great challenges. In order to fulfill the requirements of the role I
must confront many of my own demons. I have made the decision to fully commit to playing
Wendal fearlessly, without limitations, and to confront my demons with courage. I will also use
Before it Hits Home as a vehicle to enlighten other people about the struggle of being an AfricanAmerican male in the early 1990s, living on the down low, contracting the AIDS virus, and the
struggles to having to come out to a traditionally Christian African-American family.
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Chapter 1: The World of the Play
One of Wendal’s biggest fears, like most closeted African-American men, is coming out
to their families in a society that doesn’t openly support homosexuality. Due to the AfricanAmerican community’s hostility towards homosexuality, African-American men are forced to
deny that they are gay. They must keep their sexual activity with men a secret, using their wives
and girlfriends as a cover, which in the gay community is called living on the “Down Low” or
being “DL”.
According to a study published in the Journal of Bisexuality, “The Down Low is a
lifestyle predominately practiced by young, urban Afrian American men who have sex with other
men and women, yet do not identify as gay or bisexual” (“Attitudes towards Male
Homosexuality”). But being on the Down Low is more than just men having sex with men in
secret, or a variant of closeted homosexuality or bisexuality, it is a sexual identity that is, at least
partly, defined by its “cult of masculinity” (“Secrets Gay Encounters of Black Men Could Be
Raising Women’s Infection Rate”).
The term “Down Low” originated in the African-American community. In a 2003 New
York Times Magazine cover story written by Benoit Denizer-Lewis, “Double Lives On The
Down Low”, Mr.Lewis explains that the African American gay community sees homosexuality
as a white man’s perversion. The article continues to state the following:
Rejecting a gay culture they perceive as white and effeminate,
many black men have settled on a new identity, with its own
vocabulary and customs and its own name: Down Low. There have
always been men – black and white – who have had secret sexual
lives with men. But the creation of an organized, underground
subculture largely made up of black men who otherwise live
straight lives is a phenomenon of the last decade... Most date or
marry women and engage sexually with men they meet only in
anonymous settings like bathhouses and parks or through the
Internet. Many of these men are young and from the inner city,
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where they live in a hypermasculine thug culture. Other DL men
form romantic relationships with men and may even be peripheral
participants in mainstream gay culture, all unknown to their
colleagues and families. Most DL men identify themselves not as
gay or bisexual but first and foremost as black. To them, as to
many blacks, that equates to being inherently masculine.
As mentioned earlier, one of the biggest fears of a DL man is how he will be viewed in
his community and society if he one day decides to unveil his secret lifestyle. Studies done by
J.L. King, an African-American DL man who came out to the world in 2006, show that many DL
men say the two most prominent reasons for their secret lives are due to the white gay culture
and the African-American church. DL men purposely segregate themselves from both AfricanAmerican and white gay cultures alternatively only wanting to have sex and socialize with other
DL men. The majority of time DL men do not intermingle with dominate gay communities.
“They’ve created a community of their own, a cultural party where whites aren’t invited.
Labeling yourself as DL is a way to disassociate from everything white and upper class…And
that is a way from DL men to assert some power,” George Ayala, director of education for AIDS
Project Los Angeles, told the New York Times (“Double Lives on the Down Low”).
Another element that plays a factor in this forbidden lifestyle is the Black Church. Its
gender philosophy and sexual politics are issues that have caused DL men to continue to
suppress their true sexual desires and identity. A study by the Pew Forum on Religion and Public
Life states that African-American churchgoers are the least of all faiths to support gay civil
rights. The Forum also shows that since 2000, African-American Protestants are less likely to
accept that gays should have equal rights. Studies show that throughout the years AfricanAmerican Protestants’ support for gay rights dropped immensely. For example, in 1992 it was 59
percent, 65 percent in 1996, and 40 percent in 2004 (“The Lie of Living ‘On The Down Low’”).
In Before it Hits Home, these are the challenges Wendal faces each time he thinks about coming
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out to his family. The thought of how his family and community may reject him causes him to
further bury himself deeper in his secret life.
Another reason why DL males have chosen to distance themselves from the gay
community is because they are afraid of being labeled or identified with the stereotypes that are
associated with gay men. When the media portrays different gay communities, they focus on
extremely flamboyant men and very masculine women. This isn’t a true representation of gay
individuals. When it comes to stereotypes regarding gay black men, or any other race, they’re all
the same; men who act, walk, and talk like women. These men are normally associated with or
labeled as wearing women’s clothing, having very feminine qualities, not athletic, and at the end
of the day, they aren’t considered to be a “real” man. Other stereotypes are that only gay men are
involved in performing arts. Another prevalent stereotype is that musical theatre actors are gay.
Gay men are also looked upon as being very promiscuous and not likely to have long-term
relationships along with being partygoers and frequenting in drug activity. These are just a few
stereotypes that cause Down Low guys to seclude themselves from gay communities. The larger
gay community is not the only one faced with harsh stereotypes and connotations, guys living the
Down Low lifestyle are also faced with these same issues. One of the most prevalent stereotypes
and a known fact about DL guys is that they are the leading cause of HIV/AIDS in the AfricanAmerican community. This crisis occurred because DL men were having unprotected sex with
men, with the mentality they couldn’t get him pregnant so there was no need to use protection,
ignoring the fact they were putting themselves at risk to contracting AIDS or any other STDs.
Their actions caused a chain reaction; these same men were returning home to their wives or
girlfriends and having unprotected sex with them and infecting them unknowingly.
African-American women account for 72 percent of all new
HIV cases in women, and they are 23 times more likely to
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be infected with the virus than white women. What is also
unnerving is that 67 percent of African-American women
with HIV contracted it from heterosexual sex. And two
ways that the virus is contracted heterosexually is through
intravenous drug use and African-American men on the
down low.” (‘The Lie of Living “On The Down Low’”).
In 2003 the CDC, the U.S. Centers for Diseases Control and Prevention, conducted a
study on African-American men who have sex with men, but who don’t disclose their sexual
orientation. Research shows that they have a higher risk of contracting HIV; 14%, which is three
times higher than the 5% of any other race of men that have sex with men. The CDC also studied
5,589 men from six different cities aged 15-29 who have sex with men. This research showed
African-American men are more likely not to disclose their sexual orientation compared to
Caucasian men, (18%) compared to (8%) (“HIV/STD Risks in Young Men”).
There are over a million people in the United States living with HIV, (47%) of those are
African-Americans and about three-quarters of HIV cases are African-American men. Men who
have sex with men make up (45%) of those living with HIV verses heterosexual contact which is
(27%) (“Men’s Down Low Sex Often Stereotyped”). At the end of the day, society blames DL
men for infecting the African-American with the AIDS virus, due to their selfish actions.
Throughout the years DL men have become more knowledgeable about the AIDS virus
and have taken more precautions in protecting themselves and their partners, regardless of their
gender. On the downside, the community still consists of “Wendals” who only care about
themselves and continue to pollute the African-American community. Although contracting
AIDS causes Wendal to feel like he disappointed his family, Simone, and Douglass, he also
realizes that he has disappointed himself the most. Wendal finally realizes that he has proven
society right as he becomes yet another statistic in his community. Throughout Wendal’s life he
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feels that his father never thought that he would amount to anything, and his infection with AIDS
only proves his father right.
As mentioned earlier one of Wendal’s biggest fears was how he would be viewed by his
family if he revealed his undercover lifestyle. This is a nightmare that every gay male shares,
whether openly gay or DL. Each coming out experience is different, some have love and support
from their families, others aren’t as fortunate.
“I’m glad I chose to come out sooner…fear can be paralyzing and
can often trap you in silence. It’s the fear of going against our
religious upbringing, of losing friends and families, and of
shattering the dream that most parents have for us as children. But
I have found that coming out has not only strengthened the bonds I
have the people in my closet circle, but has also made feel whole
and complete as a person. The day I chose to live without regret or
shame was the day I chose to really live.”-Amari Ice, Howard
University student (“Religion and Coming Out Issues for African
Americans”).
One of the first fears that Amari Ice expressed about coming out was going against
religious upbringing, which in most cases is the number one factor why African-American
families disown their child when they come out. The church has traditionally informed,
influenced and guided the day-to-day lives of many African-Americans. “The black church is not
just a place of spirituality and enlightenment, but a place of empowerment for AfricanAmericans,” says Dr. Sylvia Rhue, director of research and academic initiatives for the National
Black Justice Coalition (“Religion and Coming Out Issues for African Americans”).
When coming out, individuals are faced with being judged by their biological families as
well as their church families. In the African-American community, you normally attend the same
church from birth until you’re old enough to decide if you want to move on to another church
organization or stop going all together. Throughout the years that church family becomes your
second family and becomes a vital part of your life. Your personal decisions affect them as well
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and when it comes to homosexuality some, if not the majority of them, are not supportive in any
way. “The black church, the oldest institution and pillar of the black community, has historically
dictated the community’s stance on homosexuality: “Either you don’t talk about it, or you
condemn it,” says Lynne D. Johnson, former online editor of Vibe magazine and adjunct
professor at Metropolitan College of New York (“Religion and Coming Out Issues for African
Americans”).
Because the church can be so judgmental, gays have to compromise their religious beliefs
and find other places of worship. Over the past decades, churches have been established that
welcome gays of color. The Unity Fellowship Church Movement was founded in 1982 by
Archbishop Carl Bean and other gay and lesbian African-Americans. The church currently has
more than 16 locations throughout the country. The Fellowship, founded in 2000 by Bishop
Yvette Flunder of San Francisco, is another church that welcomes gays into their community. As
more churches and leaders recognize those of different sexual orientations, fewer gay AfricanAmerican will be forced to choose between their identities and their faiths (“Religion and
Coming Out Issues for African Americans”).
It takes a courageous person to make that decision to come out. Along with having to
face their families, biological and church, they also have to face the communities in which they
live. Parents sometimes feel that having a gay child is a detriment and will affect the whole
African-American community. “Within the black communities, where racism is a living reality,
differences among us often seem dangerous and suspect,” according to the late AfricanAmerican lesbian author Audre Lorde.
Although coming out is a difficult experience, many have taken that leap of faith and
prayed for the best.
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Chapter 2: Examination
To date, over 230,000 African-Americans have died of AIDS. Studies show that there are
over 1 million people living with AIDS and half of those are African-Americans (“HIV and
AIDS among African Americans”). The first case of AIDS in the United States was reported in
June 1981. After the first case was reported, the number of cases and deaths increased rapidly.
After the disease began to affect the nation, many wondered who was responsible for this
epidemic, how was it created, and how one became infected. There are many myths about how
the disease began. It wasn’t until a large number of gay men in California and New York became
sick with infections and cancers that couldn’t be treated that HIV was discovered. After
examining the illness, scientists discovered that HIV, also known as Human Immunodeficiency
Virus, causes AIDS, known as Acquired Immune Deficiency Syndrome. This disease was then
labeled as a disease that only men having sex with men could contract. When first discovered in
the African-American community HIV/AIDS only affected gay men and drug users. It wasn’t
until 1983 that the CDC, United States Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, reported the
first two cases of African-American women contracting the virus through sex. After this
occurred AIDS began to rapidly spread throughout the African-American community. By 1988,
African-Americans made up half the AIDS cases identified in females. Today statics show that
60 percent of women living with AIDS are African-American women (“HIV and AIDS among
African Americans”).
When AIDS was first discovered it was viewed as a gay, white disease. With the media
portraying the disease in such a way, African-Americans felt they were exempt. Although the
media was portraying the disease one way, African-American males in the gay and bisexual
community made up a large proportion of the AIDS cases. Another reason why African-
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Americans were becoming the leading minority in the AIDS epidemic was because of their lack
of knowledge about the disease. The San Francisco gay organization, Black and White Men
Together, was the first group to notice this problem and began to put plans in motion to educate
the African-American community. They were responsible for the first official black AIDS
organization, the National Task Force on AIDS Prevention. Due to their awareness raising, in
1988 the CDC issued its first ever grant for HIV prevention for gay African-American men. As
the epidemic rapidly spread through the gay African-American community, people were still
afraid of being tested and remained unaware of the disease. It wasn’t until well-known figures in
the African-American community became infected and started dying of the virus that people
began to take the disease seriously. For example, African-American victims of the AIDS virus
included Max Robinson, who was the first African-American US news anchorman; Arthur Ashe,
a tennis star, and rapper, Eazy-E. Then in 1991, former NBA star Earvin “Magic” Johnson
announced to the world that he was HIV positive. The disease that was once viewed as a “gay”
disease was now universal (HIV and AIDS among African Americans).
Over the years, African-Americans have become more aware of the deadly disease and
are taking precautions themselves. Male-to-male sex though is still the number one way of
transmitting the disease. Throughout the years the number of AIDS cases has declined. In the
1980s when the disease was first discovered cases ranged around 150,000 per year. That number
has since dropped to an estimated 40,000 cases. Hopefully this number will continue to decrease
as more people, whether they be African-American, Caucasian, Hispanic, homosexual, bisexual,
or heterosexual, continue to be aware of the HIV/AIDS virus and protect themselves.
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Chapter 3: How do I Relate to Wendal?
As actors, we take on many different roles throughout our career and we learn that we
have more in common with some characters than others. After reading Before it Hits Home, I
quickly realized that Wendal’s life was like myself looking into a mirror. We have so much in
common that it scared me. Wendal is the first character that I have had to portray with whom I
share so many characteristics. We are both African-American males, raised in a Christian
household, have strong relationships with our mothers, not the best relationship with our fathers,
and have had issues with our sexuality.
Wendal and I have a lot in common, but the three main similarities are our religious
backgrounds, that we are Momma’s Boys, and have psychological issues with our sexuality.
Religion and homosexuality do not mix well in the African-American community. There have
been many days when I have regretted embracing my homosexuality. Growing up in church I
have been taught that being a homosexual is of the devil and by acting on these desires I would
go to hell. It was a confusing desire which stood in contrast to my religious beliefs.
There have been many times when I asked myself: why am I bisexual? How can I control
these thoughts about the same sex? Why am I having these thoughts in the first place? Like
Wendal, I chose to have a girlfriend in spite of my desires for the same sex, just so no one would
question my sexuality. Many have asked how you could truly love your girlfriend if you were
still having sex with guys? Unless someone experiences it directly, there is no way they could
understand. I believe that Wendal really loved Simone, like I loved my girlfriend, but his desire
to be with a man was stronger than he could control.
Like they always say, mothers always know! This was definitely true in my case. I’m
sure this was true in Wendal’s case as well. Reba always knew that Wendal was different.
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Whether she wanted to accept it, is a different story. Unlike Wendal, I came out to my mother in
the summer of 2003. She and I had a long talk about my decision and she reassured me that she
supported me and would love me unconditionally. Wendal’s situation was different from mine in
this aspect: he was forced to tell his mother because he was dying of this virus. In Reba’s eyes a
homosexual and a person testing positive for the AIDS virus no matter how one contracted it
were equally reprehensible, so Wendal was between a rock and a hard place because he was
both.
Performing Wendal demands that I expose myself in a way I have never done before.
Some of Wendal’s fears, such as, having to tell his father and brother he is gay and having to tell
his girlfriend, are fears that I face today or have faced in my life. The key to taking on this role is
to remember I am telling Wendal’s story not mine! Wendal’s story has reinforced the importance
of safe sex.
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Chapter 4: My Process
This process and character development has been like no other experience. When I first
read Before it Hits Home I was in love with the character Wendal and wanted to one day portray
this role. When Jonathan asked me to be Wendal, I was excited, but honestly I hadn’t processed
everything that would eventually come along with taking on this role. In the beginning of the
rehearsal, everything was going well, learning lines wasn’t a challenge for me. One of the first
scenes that challenged me was the “Spider Web” scene. This is the scene when Wendal’s worlds
are being forced together by his girlfriend and lover. In the scene, Wendal is having two separate
conversations, but the dialogue overlaps and intertwines throughout the scene at times becoming
very confusing. This is the scene I had to work the hardest to conquer. There were many
rehearsals where we were threatened by Jonathan that the scene would get cut from the
production. In the end, we were successful in conquering the “Spider Web” scene and it was one
of the most well received scenes by the audience.
Throughout this entire process Jonathan’s motto was “this play needs to transform you
first as actors, and then it will transform the audience.” My “transformation” occurred on May
13, this was the rehearsal after we had been evaluated by our thesis committee and after hearing
their feedback I was motivated to take my performance to another level. The next day in
rehearsal I didn’t “act” and my performance was instantly on another level, I had finally become
Wendal Bailey.
I learned three important lessons from this process: just breathe, listen, and react honestly
and everything else will fall into place. The reaction and feedback from the audience that we
received each night made this process worthwhile. To have people come up to you each night
and tell you that this play touched them like no other piece of theatre they had ever seen or that
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the message was received and much needed is something I will never forget from this
experience.
Artist Statement
The last two years of my life have truly been a learning experience here at SCAD. I feel
that I have grown exceptionally as an actor, choreographer, (my other passion) and an
individual. I feel that this program has prepared me for the professional world, giving me the
tools and experiences that will equip me for any obstacles that I may encounter as I further my
career.
Ever since I can remember I have wanted to be a performer, whether it was singing,
dancing, or acting. I learned at a young age that the stage was my playground, my comfort zone,
and where I wanted to be at all times.
I earned my undergrad degree at an HBCU, Historically Black College University,
Florida A&M University, also known as FAMU. I learned many different techniques and tools
that made me a better actor and I appreciated learning about my culture through theatre, but my
knowledge of theatre was still limited. After receiving my B.A. degree in Theatre Performance
from FAMU, I decided to attend grad school beginning my journey at SCAD.
Both institutions have taught me valuable lessons in acting, work ethic, and personal
growth. And while attending SCAD I have been exposed to a more diverse range of plays,
playwrights, and acting styles and methodologies. As I further my journey as a performer, I will
use the tools, techniques, and experiences given to me from both universities to help me
throughout my career.
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My Journal:
January 23, 2012
THE JOURNAL BEGINS…with the character I know I have to undergo a
huge transformation. In my whole acting career I have never had to take on a
character of this magnitude. Today when meeting with Jonathan, the director,
he told me for one of the scenes he wants me stripped down to nothing but my
underwear. I have no problem with this, I am fully confident, but I also want to
look good on stage. Today I began to work out, hitting the gym at 7:30 am,
doing push-up in the morning and running. I’m not a fat guy; I just need to
tone up certain areas. It has been a challenge, it’s hard waking up that early
and going to gym, but I just keep in mind the end result and how good I am
going to look on stage. Along with going to the gym, I am trying to cut down on
eating fast food, this is really hard, because I don’t cook and by the time I get
home it’s just easier to go through a drive-thru instead of trying to cook
something when I get home. I have four months to get my body to begin to look
like something…hopefully come opening night; I will be able to see a difference!
January 28, 2012
With auditions approaching, Jonathan has asked that I am off book for
certain scenes, so it will be easier for those auditioning. With Wendal being the
lead character, he is in every scene, so I have a lot of lines to lines. DeRon, a
freshman, is auditioning for the role Junior, so he helped me learned my lines
for that scene, which is also one of the scenes that Jonathan wants to do at the
auditions. DeRon does a pretty good job with Junior’s character and he really
wants the part, which is also a good thing because he always wants to
rehearse. When we started rehearsing the scene, it was rough in the beginning
because neither one of us knew the lines, but as the night went on we were
able to get more familiar with the scene and comfortable with the text.
January 31, 2012
The other day while rehearsing the Junior’s scenes, Jonathan asked
DeRon to read some of the Douglas’ scenes and he surprised both of us that
Jonathan then began to consider him for the role of Douglas and Junior. The
only problem with that is, DeRon is a STRAIGHT boy, he doesn’t mind taking
on the character, he just doesn’t know if he will be completely comfortable
portraying that character. To put the icing on the cake, DeRon would have to
kiss me in the play, twice! I wouldn’t mind it, lol, but I don’t know if he could
handle it! He said he will think about it, but we will see, Jonathan really wants
him to play that role!
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February 1, 2012
Before It Hits Home will act as myself, Tamara (who plays my mother,
Reba) and Jonathan’s (directing the show) thesis. We are all excited about this
project and the journey ahead. Today Jonathan met with me and Tamara to go
over one the scenes; it was the scene when I tell my mother I have AIDS and
turns her back on. This is an intense scene, Tamara and I have to be totally
connected and feed off each. Luckily for myself, Tamara and I have worked
together before and have great chemistry. One of the challenges I am having
with this scene is finding the different emotional levels, when we were
rehearsing the scene I was playing one emotion the whole time and it became
boring and it didn’t show the different levels of the character. After rehearsing
the scene a couple of times I was able to find the different emotional levels and
it became a better scene.
February 12, 2012
Another scene that Jonathan wanted me to be off-book for, for the
auditions was infamous “Wendal, Douglas, and Simone” this is a tough scene
to try to learn on your own, because the dialogue is so fast and choppy and it’s
a combination of Wendal’s two different worlds. When running the scene with
two people, it made it a lot easier to learn the lines and understand the scene.
After rehearsing the scene I realized how draining this scene was, I can only
imagine the rest of the play. I have to start now getting myself prepared
mentally and physically for this project! I am READY & EXCITED!!!
February 16, 17, & 18, 2012
The BIG DAY is finally here. Auditions! Jonathan asked me to sit in on
the auditions, because for some of the actors auditioning for Douglas and
Simone, he wanted me to stand beside them to see how we look together. Going
into the audition neither one of us knew what to expect, after the auditions we
were blown away with the talent that came in, Jonathan basically called
everyone back for the callbacks, lol! I was excited with the turn out and even
more excited about the callbacks! The callbacks were tiring, I had to kiss all the
“Douglases & Simones” plus do the scenes with the Doctor, and the actors
auditioning for the role of my brother. By the time I finished that the callbacks
I was drained. One thing I liked about working with Jonathan was he took into
consideration which actor I connected best with for the role of Douglas &
Simone. I really appreciated that from him. At the end of the day I was satisfied
with who he cast! The next day we had our first read-thru and it was amazing,
from hearing all of the voices, everyone is really beginning to connect with text
and you can just tell its going to be an amazing show.
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March 10, 2012
Finally!!! We finally have a father for the show. Jonathan has been
searching high and low to find the perfect father for this show, and things just
weren’t coming together. Now we have one and he is perfect. In the show I do a
lot of interacting with my father, mostly at the end of the play, so our chemistry
have to be genuine and honest. Today we had a rehearsal with me, DeRon
(plays my brother Junior) and Ced (plays my father, Bailey). The rehearsal went
really well. Ced has a very loving voice that makes me feels safe, so those
moments when he is expressing his love me, his son, I feels real. Then in the
moment he finds out that I have AIDS and he is forcing me to tell him how I got
it, I immediately become afraid of him. I’m excited to work with him.
March 11, 2012
Toady was another great rehearsal. Today Jonathan met with me,
Tamara, and Ced. We worked on the scene when my mom, Tamara, tells me
that she can’t stand to see my face anymore and she leaves the house. Luckily
for me, Tamara and I have worked together before and we have great chemistry
together. When she is delivering her monologue, it hits hard she is totally
committed and honest and it hurts to hear these words. Each time we ran the
scene I found myself crying, as my character, because the text is so hurtful.
Tamara and Ced also have good chemistry together, which is also a plus.
March 26, 2012
Today was the first day of official rehearsals. I am so excited about this
process that it’s unbelievable. We began rehearsal with an icebreaker to get
everyone to communicate and comfortable with everyone. Everyone in the cast
has a great presence, really excited about the show, and eager to get started.
The chemistry amongst everyone is what is so surprising, it was only the first
rehearsal and everyone was gelling together and the scenes were beginning to
come together. I can only imagine how it will be after weeks of rehearsals.
Today, Mr. Douglas, an HIV/AIDS counselor came to talk to us about
HIV/AIDS and give us some facts and useful information. Dealing with a play
of this nature or any project, it’s helpful to be knowledgeable about you’re
talking about. One of the challenges I am facing is having to cough, I know it
seems easy, but having to do it over and over has an effect on your throat.
Tomorrow, I’m going to visit Vivian and see what she recommends, because I
have to get through each rehearsal, plus the run of the show. As I mentioned
early tonight went really well, so well that we were able to move on to scenes
that were supposed to get block until tomorrow. Tomorrow we begin blocking
what I call the “Deadly Scene” it’s the scene were Wendal’s world is divided in
half, between Simone and Douglas, the dialogue is quick and overlapping and
confusing, it’s going to be a challenge, so much so that Jonathan has set two
rehearsal days for this ONE scene! LOL…We will be fine though!
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March 27, 2012
Today we begin blocking the “Deadly Scene”. When Wendal’s world is
literally divided in half and he is faced by his girlfriend and his lover and he is
trying to figure out how to tell the both of them that he has contracted AIDS. In
the scene the dialogue overlaps and can become confusing at times. I
appreciate Jonathan taking the scene very slow and dividing it into sections, I
really helped. We were only able to get through half the scene. I’m beginning to
feel more comfortable with the scene, the pacing is a little slow to me, but that
will improve as we become more familiar with the scene.
March 28, 2012
Tonight was a draining rehearsal! We finally finished the blocking for this
scene. After finishing the blocking we sat in a circle and discussed what was
going on in the scene. Jonathan is really pleased with our work, which always
a good thing. One of the challenges I am focusing on is making sure my
objectives is reading clear to the audience. With my character’s world being
split in half, the emotional state of the character of constantly changing
between the opposite characters, Douglas and Simone, and I have to change it
at the drop of a dime. Towards the middle of rehearsal, I felt myself getting
worked up and a little frustrated, but I just took a deep and reminded myself
that this was rehearsal and it wasn’t going to be perfect overnight. This
weekend, I’m going to spend some time with Kay, the girl who plays Simone, to
build our relationship. We also don’t have rehearsal this weekend, but the
three of us are going to meet anyway on Saturday to run it a couple of times,
the more times we do it, the better the scene will be!
March 31 & April 1, 2012
Today was an amazing day! Kay (Simone), Rashad (Douglas), and I met
up to go over the “scene from hell” and just talk and get to know each other. To
my surprise we were all honest and very open with one another. I learned a lot
about the two of them, information that also help know how to deal with them
in this scene that we have to do together. Each time we ran the scene, I found
myself feeling uncomfortable around Rashad, because I didn’t want to make
him feel uncomfortable, because I knew that he was straight. During our talk,
he reassured me that he wasn’t uncomfortable at all, which was a relief for me.
After running the scene several times, we finally knew our lines, the only thing
now we have to work on is the pace of the scene. Jonathan was the dialogue to
overlap; he wants the audience to feel like they are watching a tennis match. In
some areas of the scene the pace is where it needs to be, but in some areas it
drags a little. I’m very proud of Rashad & Kay; they are working really hard and
giving what I need in the scene to help me get through it. I really appreciate
their hard work and dedication. We also meet the next day to run it a couple of
times, things are looking good, we can only get better from here!
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April 2, 2012
Once again today we worked on the “Spider Wed” scene, as Jonathan
called it. Today Jonathan did an exercise, where he repeated our subtext to us
as we were in the moment. This really helped and put all of us in the moment.
My biggest goal for this scene is to just be HONEST and listen to the words I
am saying and the words I am receiving. The scene is coming along really well.
In some moments, my there is so much going on that I become light headed
and it’s hard for me to breathe, because both are my worlds are caving in on
me, Simone is asking questions, Douglas wants answers and it’s just too hard
for me to take in. Each time we take a break, I have to literally just stop
thinking about the scene, because its draining emotionally and physically!
April 3, 2012
Tonight was a ROUGH rehearsal. Once again we worked on that scene.
This scene is so draining emotionally, that right now, I feel like I can’t keep up.
To sum things up, I just have to work harder. I realized tonight, that I can’t go
into the scene or any scene for that matter, half ass, if I do it will show to the
audience and it will be horrible.
April 6 & 7, 2012
Today was a rough rehearsal, it was our first run-thru of Act 1. Let’s just
say I was happy I was happy to make it through the act. On Friday, I found
myself just saying the lines, without any objecting or subtext. I was too busy
focusing on the line notes I had received and not on being in the moment. On
Saturday, is when the shit hit the fan! Jonathan was really on me on this one
line, “It feels good to be touched by hands, instead of rubber gloves.” Wendal
says this Douglass comes to visit him in the hospital and his feet are filled with
pain. This line really speaks volume of this play, because in that time when
people were diagnosed with AIDS, others treated them like a plague, because of
their lack of knowledge of the disease. Jonathan said I didn’t say the line with
honesty and that I was acting, I felt that it was the opposite. I found myself
becoming really frustrated with him and ready to stop the scene all together! At
the end of rehearsal I still hadn’t conquered that line; I am still working on it
though. Another problem area that we had was the scene I have with my
father; he is telling the story of when he took me on a train, while I am telling
the same story to Douglass in the hospital. Unlike the other scene I was able to
conquer this one and one that really helped with this scene was imagining. I
had to really picture myself getting on this train with my father as a young boy.
The minute I began using this tool, Jonathan was very pleased with my line
delivery and my intent behind each line.
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April 9-12, 2012
These last couple of rehearsals, we’ve been finishing up the blocking for
Act 2. Lucky for us, everyone in the cast is working extremely hard, so each
night we have been able to block more than what the schedule said we would.
These last couple of days has been a little easier for me at rehearsal, mainly
because the beginning of Act 2 is the family scene, it’s the one scene with the
least amount of drama. In this scene you get to really see the Bailey family
before the shit hits the fan. It made me realize how quick the dynamics of a
family can change within a second & with me being Wendal, who the
comments effects the most, have to be able to react honestly and at that
moment. The next few we will be hitting the heavy scenes, I’m getting myself
prepared physically, emotionally, and mentally.
April 13, 2012
OH BOY, it finally happened! Tonight at rehearsal, the scariest thing
happened to me, I couldn’t connect to the material or no one in the scene with
me. This feeling is horrible and frighten. I had no idea what to do. The entire
time we were running the scene; I was completely lost and disconnected. The
whole time I kept thinking, what if this was a show what would I do? I kept
trying to focus, but NOTHING was working. It became so bad that Jonathan
threw his notebook down, screamed, walked out, and slammed the door. After
that moment, I was somewhat able to get into the scene, but I was crying, but I
didn’t know if my character was crying or was it me. By this point was so
frustrated with myself that I didn’t know what to do. I also realized that show is
extremely exhausting. At the end of the rehearsal we all hugged and cried
together. I pray I never have a night like tonight ever again!
April 15, 2012
Tonight was a lot better. On the way to rehearsal, I begin to get focus by
listening to a song by Fantasia “The Worst Part Is Over”. This song really
helped me get into character. The lyrics really did something to me. The lyrics
read: See Ive been to a place, called hell on earth,when your bodys insane, but your heart
reallyburns, that kind of pain, is more like a curse.[Yeah, eah]
I was down on the ground, and the tears wouldn't come, i could not make a sound, and my
voice wouldn't budge, with nobody around, they assumedI was dying [Hey, Eh]
When I got ready to close my eyes, kiss my chance at love goodbye, here comes hope
like a ray of light it was your baby saying Oh, you aint gotta climb this mountain alooooooone.
Just take my hand, and I'll fight for you when you can't be strooooooooong. The worst part is
over, the worstpart is over. I'm here to hold ya. The worst part is over.
See the measure of love, aint when you're up. Itsbout who sticks around, when you
cant see the sun, and you're proven to be, someone I can trust [Yeah, Eh]
Cause when I got ready to close my eyes (closemy eyes), kiss my chance at love goodbye (hey),
here comes hope like a ray of light (hey) it was your baby saying oh, you aint gotta climb this
mountain alone(you aint gotta climb this mountain alone). Just take my hands(take my hand),
and I'll fight for you when you can't be strong. (fight for you when you cant be strong)The
worst part is over (o-over). The worst part is over (over). I'm here to hold ya (I'm hear to hold
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ya). The worst part is over. (Yeahhh..)You're the extra bit of faith when I'm giving up. That
little boost of strength when Im against the wall. In every way you've shown, you're the
definition of love, cause you let me know.
Nooooo. You aint you aint gotta climb this mountain alooone. Just take my hand
yeaaaaaaahhh, and I'll fight for you when you can't be strong. The worst part is over, the
worst part is over. Its over, I'm here to hold ya. Yeah Ehh yeahhh eeehh. The worst part is
over.
See I've been to a place, called hell on earth, but that part is overrrrr.
This song really put in the mood of the play. I had a good rehearsal tonight.
The scene I was struggling with last night was a lot better nothing. I also
realized the less I think about the scene and try to plan out every moment, the
easier it is for me to connect and be in the moment honestly.
April 16, 2012
Today we revisited the SPIDER WEB Scene, the Wendal, Douglass, and
Simone scene. This is the most difficult scene for me. The conversations
overlap and the pacing needs to be swift. The more we rehearse it the better it
gets. I also had a break through tonight with one of my most difficult lines, “It’s
nice to be touched by hands instead of rubber gloves.” For the past rehearsals
I’ve been having trouble with this line. Jonathan said he didn’t believe when I
would say it, tonight he finally believed me. It was a good feeling to hear his
reaction! I only wished I had a tape recorder so I can deliver it the same way
each time! LOL!
April 19, 2012
Today was our first run-through of the entire show. We had to do a run
the production, it was very nerve wrecking, our first time doing the full show
and we had a mini audience. I learned a lot today, for me, Act 1 seemed to drag
and I wasn’t fully connected in some scenes. I felt rushed in some scenes, the
scene when I wake up in the hospital, I am use to having time to prepare
myself for the moment that is about to happen, but as soon as I laid down, he
SM said “lights up” and it was time for the scene to begin, during notes
Jonathan said he didn’t believe that scene at all. I totally agreed with him! Also,
this process has taught me a valuable lesson. Our original Simone has been
missing rehearsals due to personal reasons, so the understudy has had to step
in. My character and Simone have to connect or the audience will not believe
them. Rehearsal is becoming a little difficult, because the understudy isn’t fully
prepared so the scenes are slow and causes the whole run to slow down. She is
working hard and I commend her for that!
April 22, 2012
Roper 23
Today was the LONGEST rehearsal ever! We had rehearsal from 4-10 and
it felt like we were there all day and night. On the other hand, it was a good
rehearsal. Act 2 is still the stronger act; we have to get Act 1 on the same level.
The show is in a good place, now it’s time to take it to another level, which
everyone in the cast is more than capable of doing.
April 23-24, 2012
FINALLY!!! Today was a proud moment for me, Kay, and Rashad. We
FINALLY conquered the SpiderWeb scene. We did four exercises that really
helped us connect to the scene and our characters. One of the biggest
problems we were having was not being honest in the scene and in the moment
and it obviously showed. The first exercise was like a tug-a-war. Douglass and
Simone, Rashad & Kay, couldn’t pull my arms until their character wanted to
prove their point. The next was, I couldn’t give either of them my attention until
they deserved it and didn’t something that made me look their way. Next, they
had to keep their movements very small to get my attention, basically using the
words to get my attention. Last, we didn’t use any words throughout the whole
scene, just body language. Each time we did the scene with one of the exercises
it worked. At the end of the scene we all felt something and we felt connected to
our characters and to each other. By the end of rehearsal, we had done it 5
times GOOD, Jonathan kept reminding us it, it was just GOOD and to take it
to another level. The next day was the same thing. We came in and did it good
again, but I will take GOOD because in the pass he has said it was HORRIBLE.
LOL! It felt good to know that we can do the scene, now all we have to do is
take it to another level!
April 27-28, 2012
Today we had another run thru of the show; each time we do a run thru I
get a little more comfortable with the show. This time, I wasn’t as drained
during act 2 like I was the first run. Act 2 is very heavy and draining
emotionally, in every scene my character is experiencing several emotions and I
have to be invested in every moment fully, there is no room for dishonesty. Like
the first run, Act 2 is still stronger than Act 1, but Act 1 is getting better.
Today we worked the scene when my father finds out. Lately in rehearsal
after we run certain scenes, I have to immediately remove myself from the
room, because I am so in the moment that is becomes scary. Although this
moment is scary, it’s exciting and feels so good. The thought of being that
invested in the moment is such a rewarding feeling. One of my worries with
doing this show is I am afraid that come opening night and during the run of
the show, I may not be able to get back to that place, but I can’t plan those
moments, I have to just let them happen. A valuable lesson I’ve recently heard
is that, remember how it felt when the moment was right and although you
may not be in the exact moment, you know the feeling and know how to get
back to that feeling.
May 6, 2012
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We’ve had a couple days off, due to some members in the cast having
other obligations. Today we did a full run of the show. Every time we do a run,
I find new moments in every scene. With a show like BIHH I have found it very
important to listen and respond honestly. I know all of my blocking and lines,
but now I am focusing on being in the moment and listening. One of the
biggest notes that Jonathan gave me was I am in my head too much, always
trying to make it perfect. Another note he is always giving is, let the play
transform you and once you do that u can transform the audience. This note
has really helped me throughout this process, today in rehearsal I didn’t think
I just reacted honestly and remained in every moment and at the end of
rehearsal Jonathan told me this was one of my best performances. I’m really
proud of myself and my cast, because this is a tough show, its draining
emotionally and I feel that everyone is doing their share in contributing to the
process.
May 11, 2012
Tonight was a ROUGH/TOUGH rehearsal for me. Today our thesis
committee came to see the show. I don’t know exactly what their feedback and
notes were, but judging from Jonathan’s response after he met with them, they
weren’t pleased with my performance. Jonathan’s words were “Wendal, we’re
going to work ALL your scenes”, which is basically the entire show, my
character is in EVERY scene. It’s hard to receive that type of feedback when
you know you have worked really hard and you’re putting everything you have
into every scene. This was one of my biggest fears when accepting this role,
knowing how much responsibility came along with it. The story is about
WENDAL and if the person portraying Wendal is fully connected emotionally,
mentally, and physically the audience will immediately check out and not
believe a word that I am saying. I’m not sure what was exactly said amongst
them, but afterwards Jonathan kept pushing for honest reactions within the
Spider-Web scene, one of the most challenging scenes, also a scene I thought I
had conquered. I GUESS NOT! On the other hand, my professors loved ALL the
other actors in the show, which is great! Everyone is working hard and I am
truly happy that they enjoyed their performances. I must admit, after tonight’s
rehearsal I broke down, out of hurt & frustration, but nothing GREAT comes
easy, so I’m going to use tonight as motivation and grow from the notes that
were given.
May 13, 2012
Tonight was AMAZING. I finally had a breakthrough in rehearsal tonight!
After receiving the notes from when the professors came, I have to admit I was
down, frustrated, mad, and wanted to just give up. I have never been in a show
where I was solely the lead. It’s a scary feeling and a big responsibility.
Normally before rehearsal I isolate myself from everyone and just think about
the show and my character, today I took a different approach. I took a moment
to focus and deep breathe and just started today, no extra thinking and it
seemed to work. Today in rehearsal I tried my hardest to really focus and not
Roper 25
put anything extra on it, just truly be in the moment and react honestly. Before
today I had already had in my mind how I thought each scene so go, which was
a BIG mistake. Tonight a lot of great things happened; this was the first time I
actually felt like I was dying in the last scene. At the end of the run, everyone
in the room was crying. Tonight’s run really gave me the confidence that I
conquer this show and do this role.
Roper 26
Works Cited
Denizet-Lewis, Benoit. "Double Lives On The Down Low." The New York Times. Aug. 2003. Web.
Apr. 2012.
Heath, Jessie, and Kathy Goggins. "Attitudes Towards Male Homosexuality, Bisexuality, and the Down
Low Lifestyle: Demographic Differences and HIV Implications." JOURNAL OF BISEXUALITY
9.1 (2009): 17-31. Print.
Hitti, Miranda. "Men’s Down Low Sex Often Stereotyped." WebMB- Better Information. Better Heath.
June 2005. Web. Apr. 2012.
"HIV and AIDS Among African Americans." Avert- Averting HIV and AIDS. Web. Apr. 2012.
<http://www.avert.org/hiv-african-americans.htm>.
"HIV/STD Risks in Young Men Who Have Sex With Men Who Do Not Disclose Their Sexual
Orientation--Six U.S. Cities, 1994-2000." Archives of Dermatology 139.6 (2003): 820-21. Print.
Johnson, Jason B. "Secret Gay Encounters of Black Men Could Be Raising Women's Infection Rate."
San Francisco Chronicle [San Francisco] Sunday May 2005. Print.
Monroe, Irene. "The Lie of Living "On The Down Low"" The Witness. Friday Mar. 2005. Web. Apr.
2012.
"Religion and Coming Out Issues for African Americans." Human Rights Campaign. Web. Apr. 2012.
<http://www.hrc.org/resources/entry/religion-and-coming-out-issues-for-african-americans>.
Roper 27
Appendix.
Character Analysis
Name of Character: Wendal Bailey
Name of the Play: Before It Hits Home
By: Cheryl L. West
OUTER WORLD- ENVIRONMENT, PHYSICAL TRAITS
Age: 33
Time Period: 1985 Social Status: Middle Class
Brief Physical Description: Tall, Handsome, Smooth, Suave, Lean, and Toned
Kinesthetics: Wendal is a cool, smooth jazzy-talking and laid back type of guy. He commands
the attention when he walks in to a world. He walks with cockiness, as if his shit doesn’t stink!
INNER- PHTCHO/EMOTIONAL
Super-Objective:



Wendal wants to make it home to his family, so he can regain his strength
and fight this illness he is facing.
General Characteristics
 Wendal is a smooth guy. He loves attention and will do and say whatever he
needs to get that attention. Wendal is also living a double life, Simone is girlfriend
and although he may love her, she is basically his cover up so no one will ever
suspect his other life. Douglas is Wendal’s “lover”, if Wendal could live in a
perfect world he would be with Douglas and Douglas only. When addressing both
characters, he tells Simone, “I wanted you to be my wife” and Douglas “With you
I thought I had a future.” From the statement, Wendal reveals his true love for
Douglas. Wendal is also loves his family, that’s why it’s so hard for him to tell
them that he has contracted AIDS, he doesn’t want to hurt them.
Temper
 For the most part Wendal is a laid back type of guy. He is easy going; it takes a
lot to flare his temper. Wendal’s temper is flared when he doesn’t get his way or
when his “double life” is on the verge of being exposed. After Wendal finds out &
accept the fact that he has the AIDS virus, his temper changes. He becomes bitter
and angry with everyone, especially Douglas. He is upset with Douglas because
Douglas is negative and keeps trying to encourage him to have a positive attitude
about the situation…”and where is he now, six feet under still thinking positive.”
That is one of the lines Wendal says to Douglas as he explains to him, the only
way to beat the virus is to have a positive attitude.
Demeanor
 Wendal is different from his father and brother, Junior, and always have been.
“I’ve never been quite right like daddy use to say.” This is what Wendal says to
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his mother after he tells her that he has relationships with women and men.
Wendal has always been on the artistic side, instead of playing sports and doing
manly duties. Wendal enjoys living a free life, he doesn’t do well with
commitments, and he is viewed as a free-spirit.
Chekhov’s Questions:
1. The quality of the character’s will?
a. Wendal has a strong will; he’s a very confident person. When he sees something
that he wants he goes after it, there is no stopping, also when Wendal puts his
mind to something, he’s going to finish what he starts. It’s not until he gets
infected with the AIDS virus that his strong will changes. For example, he
initially plans on not having sex with Simone when he goes to tell her he has
AIDS, but he gives in to her desire to have sex and they have unprotected sex and
he never tells her that he has AIDS. On the other, he went to see Douglas and
although he knew telling Douglas, he may lose him, he still told him.
2. Mainly a thinking character or a feeling character?
a. Wendal is a thinking character. The life style that Wendal lives, he constantly
thinking of lies to tell Simone or Douglas. The lying mostly occurs to Simone. For
example, when he goes away on these trips with Douglas, he has to think of lies to
tell Simone so she won’t began to speculate anything. Same thing when it comes
to Douglas, when he goes away with Simone, he has to think of think of lies to
tell him.
3. Is the character’s mind quick, slow, or somewhat in the middle?
a. Wendal has a quick mind. Once again, the lifestyle that Wendal lives causes him
to have to think quick in any situation. There have been many incidents where
Simone has almost caught him and Douglas and he had to think of something to
tell her. Also, when Wendal calls home, he never knows what his parents are
going to ask him, so he has to be ready to answer them, rather it be a lie or the
truth.
4. Are your character’s feelings passionate or lugubrious?
a. Wendal is a very passionate person. Although some may feel that he doesn’t care
for Simone because he cheats on, he really does care about her. He also cares
about Douglas. Wendal is actually in love with Douglas, if he could live in a
perfect world, he would be with Douglas. Wendal also cares about his family,
especially his son, Dwayne. Although he is missing out on the best years of
Dwayne’s life by having his parents raise him, he loves his son and wishes that he
could be more activate in his life.
Relationships
The relationships in this play are essential. The relationship that suffers the most drastic
change is Wendal and his mother. In the beginning of the play Reba, his mother, is constantly
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worrying about her son and wishes that he would come home and she endlessly defends him
when Bailey, his father, talks about him or compare him to Junior, his younger brother. Once
Wendal tells his mother he has AIDS, she immediately disowns him and leaves him on his own
to take care of himself. Another relationship that takes a turn is Wendal and his father. In the
beginning of the play, Bailey is constantly nagging Wendal about being a “real man”, he has
done this all his life. Once Bailey sees how sick Wendal is, he is the only that stays to take care
of him, he is there for Wendal until he takes his last breath. Then there is Junior, Wendal’s
younger brother, for the most part they have a great relationship. Both of them have suppressed
their true feelings throughout the years. Wendal feels that their father has always compared him
to Junior, “if Junior did it, why didn’t I find a way to do it better?” On the other hand, Junior
doesn’t see things that way, “the only time I count is when brother Wendal is fucking up.”
Although the two of them have this minor argument at the end of the day, they still love each
other and this minor argument will not affect their relationship. Dwayne, Wendal’s son, Wendal
loves his son, but he’s not capable of raising him. Although Wendal is absent in Dwayne’s life,
Dwayne still sets his father on a pedestal and he can do no wrong in his eyes. Aunt May, she is
like Wendal’s second mother. Simone, Wendal’s girlfriend, Wendal loves Simone just not in the
way that she really wants him to. Simone is basically Wendal’s cover up, so that no one will ever
suspect his secret life. Douglas, Wendal’s lover, Wendal truly loves Douglas, if he could have
things his way he would be with Douglas.
1. What’s the character Super-Objective?
a. Wendal wants to make it home to his family, with the hope that they will give him
the strength that he needs to fight his illness.
2. What’s the character’s objective in the scene/monologue?
a. Wendal is trying to tell Douglas and Simone that he has texted positive for AIDS.
In the end, he only tells Douglas, he never finds the words to tell Simone and he
actually has unprotected sex with her in the end.
3. When does my character live?
a. Past
4. Where does my character live?
a. Chicago is where I live until I go home to Kansas.
5. Where does my character work?
a. Wendal is a jazz musician, he makes a living by playing in night clubs with the
hopes of getting a record deal. He father, feels that Wendal’s line of work is not a
real job and that he should have a more stable style of living.
6. Who does my character live and what are their relationships?
a. Wendal lives with Simone. Simone is Wendal’s girlfriend. Simone is basically
Wendal’s cover up so no will suspect his secret live. Although he loves Simone,
he doesn’t really want to be with her.
7. What is the primary emotion of my character during this scene?
a. Wendal is angry, annoyed, frustrated, fear, hurt, panic, and sad
8. What other emotions are affecting my character underneath those emotions?
a. Love, lust, pity, regret, and shame
9. What kind of self-esteem does my character have?
a. Wendal has very high self-esteem that is until he has AIDS. Before he knew he
had AIDS, Wendal was a confident person, always feeling himself, and knew he
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could have anyone that he wanted, male or female. In most cases, most women
and men that Wendal comes in contact with, they want him. Wendal has a big ego
and all the attention he gets only boosts his ego to another level. All of his
confidence is lost once he finds out he has AIDS, all of his life he’s pretty much
been able to talk his way out of anything and have whatever he wants and this is
the first time he wasn’t able to have things his way and he’s having trouble
accepting that.
10. How does my character relate to the outside world?
a. Wendal is living the lifestyle that a lot of African-American males were living
during that time, more so in today’s time. The down low lifestyle is very
prominent in the African-American community. The down low lifestyle is
basically men having sex with men in secret and in most causes these men
consider themselves to be bisexual. Also, DL men normally have either a wife or
girlfriend, like Wendal does. This behavior is considered to be the number one
source of spreading the AIDS virus, because men living this lifestyle have
unprotected sex and then go home to their wives/girlfriends and have unprotected
sex with them as well. Men choose to live this lifestyle, because they are normally
afraid of coming out, because of how the community will view them. They also
choose to live in secret because they want their cake and eat it too, meaning they
want to have sex with both sexes, like Wendal!
11. What type of emotion should the audience feel for the character?
a. The audience will feel different emotions for Wendal as the play progress. For
example, in the beginning when Wendal finds out that he has AIDS and he is
suffering in the hospital the audience will feel empathy and compassion for him.
The audience will hate him when he has unprotected sex with Simone knowing
that he has AIDS. Then in the end when his mother turns her back on him, the
empathy and compassion will return.
12. How is important is my character for the action of the play?
a. My character is extremely important to the story, they story is his life. Before it
Hits Home tells the story of Wendal Bailey as finds out that he has contracted
AIDS and goes home to tell his family that is gay and dying of AIDS.
13. What are the most important elements of my character?
a. Wendal’s family is very important to him, so much that he feels that if can just be
in their presence he get stronger and fight this virus. Another person that is
important to Wendal is Douglass. He decides to tell Douglass, because he truly
cares about him and wants to protect him. If Wendal could live in a perfect life, he
would be with Douglass; Simone is basically his cover-up so no will suspect that
he is gay. Wendal also loves his music; it’s his escape from reality.
14. How old is my character and what major events did he live through?
a. 33,
15. Does he have any children?
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a. Yes, he has one son, Dwayne. Although Wendal has a son, he is not active in his
life. Wendal’s parents are raising Dwayne, Wendal calls from time to time, but
he’s not really a part of his son’s life.
16. Does my character have their wants met at the end of the play?
a. Unfortunately for Wendal his wants weren’t met at the end of the play. Wendal
dies at the end of the play. Although Wendal dies at the end, he dies knowing that
his family knew they true and he no longer had to hide his true identity.
17. If I met my character, how would I react to him?
a. If I met my character, it would be like in the mirror, because I am Wendal, minus
the AIDS. I have lived the down low lifestyle for years, so I know how Wendal is
feeling when he is forced to tell his family about his secret lifestyle. I also know
the frustration of having a girlfriend and a lover and trying to balance the both of
them and keep them happy. I would tell Wendal that he has to decide, it’s not fair
to Simone to be so deeply in love with him when his love for her is not equal.
Script Anaylsis
WHAT
Plot:
Prologue: In the beginning of the play, the audience is first introduced to Wendal. The audience
gets to see Wendal’s love for music, he’s a sax player and makes his living by playing at local
jazz clubs. When the play opens, It’s also the day of his mother’s birthday. He expresses to the
audience how much he loves his mother and wishes her a happy birthday. Simone and Douglass
is then introduced, Simone is reminding Wendal to go to the doctor and get that cough checked
that has been bothering him and Douglass is asking for some alone time. Simone doesn’t know
that Douglass exist, but Douglass knows about Simone.
Act 1:
The Fourth Doctor’s Visit
 Wendal is seeing another doctor, he’s been tested for AIDS three times already and each
test came back positive, but he doesn’t want to believe his results.
 Wendal is introduced to Angel Petterson, she is waiting for the doctor as well. Angel
speaks her mind and doesn’t care who likes it, she tries to welcome to the family,
basically telling that she knows he has AIDS and he needs to accept it.
 Wendal gets upsets and dismisses what Angel is saying.
The Bailey Family
 Reba and Maybelle are introduced, they two of the are childhood friends, like sisters
 Maybelle surprises Reba with a dress that she refused to buy “because you were too
cheap to buy it” as Maybelle said.
 Reba tells Maybelle that she had a dream about Wendal
 Bailey comes home, hiding his two suites, he doesn’t want Maybelle to know that he has
been nominated to give a speech, Reba tells her anyway.
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
Reba and Bailey get into a minor disagreement, because Bailey talked bad about Wendal
in front of his Dwayne, Wendal’s son that his parents are raising.
The Doctor & Wendal
 Wendal is asking God to please this test be negative
 The doctor enters and asks Wendal a several questions referring to drug use and his
sexual intercourse, trying to figure out how Wendal may have contracted the disease.
 Wendal blames the doctor for disease, saying “This AIDS is a conspiracy…” and “All
you had to do was tell us, didn’t cost you nothing…”
 Wendal leaves the clinic upsets
The Call Home
 Wendal calls home
 His father answers and questions about calling home “Are you in some kind of trouble
the reason you calling home…”
 He also tells him that his brother, Junior will be coming home
 His mother then gets on the phone and tells Wendal the feast she will prepare once he
comes home.
 Wendal begins to have a coughing spell and has to hang up with his mother.
The 3-Way
 Wendal’s worlds are split, in the scene he is split between Douglass & Simone’s world
 Wendals shows up at Douglass’ house unexpected
 Simone tells him about redecorating the house and setting up a spare for Dwayne when
he comes to visit.
 They both question where he’s been for the last couple of days.
 Wendal begins becomes snappy with Douglass with Simone, they both begin to question
his behavior.
 Simone then tells Wendal that she found the ring that he got for her and her answer is
yes.
 Wendal breaks up with Douglass.
 Douglass thinks that Wendal has decided to marry Simone.
 Wendal tells Douglass he has AIDS.
 Wendal basically tells Simone that he can’t be with her.
 It finally hits Douglass that Wendal has AIDS and begins to panic.
 Simone still forces herself on Wendal
 Wendal and Simone have sex, she realizes that it is over between the two of them and
leaves him.
 Wendal is left alone sad at the fact that he just had unprotected sex with Simone.
In The Hospital
 Wendal wakes up in the hospital having a temper tantrum, he wants out of the hospital.
 Dr. Wainberg comes in calm him down; the two of them have developed a relationship.
 She surprises him with a cassette tape and asks if he told anyone he was in the hospital.
 Douglass finally comes to visit with gifts and tells Wendal he’s negative.
 Wendal and Douglass gets into an argument, he calms him down by massaging his feet.
 Wendal asks Douglass to get him a train ticket, because he has decided to go back home
to his parents’ home.
 Douglass agrees to get the ticket.
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The Train Ride
 Bailey is giving a speech about when he took Wendal on a train ride as his acceptance
speech.
 Wendal is telling the same story to Douglass in the hospital
Junior Comes Home
 Junior comes home and brings gifts for everyone.
Act 2:
Family Time
 Wendal, Junior & Dwayne are preparing dinner for the family.
 Reba, Maybelle, and Bailey are in living room.
 Bailey brings up the fact the Junior brought the family home gifts and he didn’t bring
them anything.
 Junior continues to make everyone laugh by playing with his mom, saying Wendal set
fire to the kitchen.
 Aunt May and Reba asks Wendal and Junior to sing for them as the entertainment, the
whole family sings together.
 Bailey asks Wendal to sing down at the center for him, Wendal feels proud.
 Bailey refers to Dwayne as a sissy faggot when Wendal puts him on his mother’s apron.
 Wendal fusses at Dwayne for saying he don’t look like no fag.
 Wendal and Bailey gets into an argument, Wendal leaves.
Momma, I Have AIDS
 Reba comes downstairs to find Wendal alone.
 She defends Bailey’s actions once again.
 She tells Wendal to tell her what’s been bothering him, he tells his mother he has AIDS
 They get into an intense on how he got it and why he hasn’t said nothing
 Reba tells Wendal to ask God forgiveness and he better pray!
 Wendal tells his mother he is basically tired of praying and everything he went through
while in the hospital.
 Reba tells Wendal she can’t help and leaves him.
Dad, You Should Know
 Dwayne wakes his dad asking him to watch TV
 Wendal admits to Bailey that he’s done a good job raising Dwayne.
 Reba comes downstairs in disgust and tells Bailey to go wait in car while she talks to
Wendal.
 Reba tells Wendal that she has to get out of this house because she can’t stand to look at
Wendal.
Father and Son
 Wendal tells that Dwayne that he will be around for a while
 Wendal has a talk with Dwayne about life choices and be careful how he judges people.
Big Brother and Little Brother
 Junior comes downstairs and him and Wendal have a talk about the statement he made to
Dwayne about defending him when they were younger.
The Table Turns
 Bailey finds out that Wendal has AIDS
 He confronts Wendal, thinking that Wendal got the disease from using drugs.
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
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Bailey attempts to make Junior feel bad for turning his back on Wendal after finding out
Wendal has AIDS, it doesn’t work
Bailey is left to take care of Wendal.
Aunt May brings over supper for Wendal and Bailey.
She refuses to stay and is afraid to touch Wendal, this makes Bailey upset.
Dwayne has become defiant
Wendal dies in Bailey’s arms.
Given Circumstances:
Wendal has become infected with the AIDS virus. He breaks up with girlfriend, Simone, and his
lover, Douglass, before returning in hopes of getting better. Wendal’s family doesn’t know about
his secret life, so he has to find the right moment to tell them. Wendal finally tells his mother
first and her reaction is not what he expected. She turns her back on him, leaving him to defend
for himself. She tells his father, at first his father is upset, but in the end, it is his father that takes
care of him until he takes his last breath.
Backstory:
Wendal is what society considers a DL brother. He has a girlfriend, but also has sex with men.
He doesn’t refer to himself as a gay male. While on the road with the band, Wendal had
unprotected sex with someone and he has contracted the AIDS virus, Wendal doesn’t know how
he got the disease.
Primary Motivating Spark (1st Climax):
The 1st climax takes place when Wendal goes to the doctor and finds out that he has the AIDS
virus.
Climax of the Play:
The climax occurs when Wendal has to tell Douglass and Simone he has AIDS. He tells
Douglass, but he never tells Simone. He also tells Douglass that the two of them shouldn’t see
each other anymore. Wendal ends up having unprotected sex with Simone and she leaves him
afterwards.
Resolution:
This occurs when Wendal goes home to tell his family about this condition. Wendal first tells his
mother and her reaction wasn’t what he had in mind. She turns her back on him and tells him that
she can’t help him anymore. She then tells Bailey. Bailey ends up taking care of Wendal, until he
dies in his arms.
Super-Objective:
Wendal wants to make it home and be around his family so they can fill him with life.
Moral, Ethical Landscape:
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Religion plays an essential part in this play. Religion is a huge factor in the Bailey household.
This is why Reba tells Wendal to get on his knees and PRAY!
WHO
***Refer to character analysis***
Protagonist/Antagonist
Wendal
Major Conflict:
Wendal is the protagonist and the antagonist, because his actions affects everyone.
WHY
Theme: Redemption
Main Idea: Acceptance
Seed: Redemption
HOW
Dialogue: The dialogue is everyday langue that is used in African-American households. There
is some slang that was popular during the last 80s. For example, “my Sunday-go-to-meeting
suit”, “aint gon’ be able to hit me in the butt with no red apple” and “got me one of them Sadie
mommas” this is all slang that was used during that time period.
Moods and Atmosphere: The mood and atmosphere of the play changes throughout. For
example, it opens in a light mood, the night club with Wendal and when the audience is
introduced to the Bailey family. The play takes a shift when Wendal’s worlds are split and he has
to tell both Douglass and Simone. At the top of act 2, the play begins happy and full of laughter,
but the moment Wendal tells his mother, the atmosphere becomes very heavy, dark, and saddens.
Genre: Drama
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Flyer for the Show: Before It Hits Home
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Photos of my Process:
Early Rehearsal Photos:
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Photos of Production:
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Photos…
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