AC Green`s - Just Say YES

The true sign of greatness
is one’s durability
to stay the course. The record shows that A.C. Green is
the most durable man in the history of sports when it
comes to character. A.C. Green’s Game Plan will help you
make good choices to accomplish your goals.
Pat Riley
Former Coach, Miami Heat
My wife and I have read through Game Plan,
and we think it’s terrific. This is a great tool
to help you think through some of
the most important
decisions in your life.
I would love to see this book
get into the hands of every teenager
A.C. Green’s
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PLAN
and pre-teenager in the country.
Mike Singletary
NFL Hall of Fame Football Player,
Head Coach, San Francisco 49ers
Today there are messages everywhere that encourage sex outside of a marriage relationship.
Teens today are craving
the real truth about sex.
They want people to care
about them enough to challenge them. Game Plan gives teens the truth about sex,
and a positive message of how to succeed in life and achieve their best.
Tara Dawn Christensen
Former Miss America, Recording Artist & Speaker
Just as
discipline and perseverance are important
in sports,
they are critical in all areas of life. Don’t let your game or your life suffer
because you aren’t prepared. A.C. Green’s Game Plan can help you.
Everybody
has one life –
Time to develop
YOUR
e
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GP A N
L
David Robinson
Former Player, San Antonio Spurs
SCOTT PHELPS
62. U.S. Census Bureau, “U.S. and World Population Clocks,” POPClocks, census.gov (retrieved July 7, 2008).
63. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, “25 Sexually Transmitted Diseases,” Healthy People 2010 vol. 2, healthypeople.gov
(retrieved April 2, 2008).
64. The Henry J. Kaiser Family Foundation, “Media and Society,” SexSmarts Survey, kaisernetwork.org, August 2001 (retrieved April 2, 2008).
65. The Henry J. Kaiser Family Foundation and Glamour Magazine, “1998 Survey of Men and Women on Sexually Transmitted Diseases”.
66. Harvard True Love Revolution, Ibid.
67. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, “Genital Herpes: The Facts,” cdc.gov, April 22, 2008 (retrieved July 17, 2008).
68. American Social Health Association, Sexually transmitted diseases in America: How many cases and at what cost? 1998, Research Triangle Park,
NC: ASHA. P. 5.
Chapter 5 – Half Time
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
9.
Liz Claiborne Inc. and Teenage Research Unlimited, “Teen Relationship Abuse Survey,” Hot Sheet! March, 2006: 3.
H.C. Sachs, MD., “Teens Trying Drugs and Alcohol,” Contemporary Pediatrics, vol. 17, issue 4, April 2000: 45.
The National Center on Addiction and Substance Abuse at Columbia University, “National Survey of American Attitudes on Substance Abuse IX:
Teen Dating Practices and Sexual Activity,” 2004, available at casacolumbia.org.
Bill Albert, The National Campaign to Prevent Teen Pregnancy, “With One Voice: America’s Adults and Teens Sound Off About Teen
Pregnancy,” 2007: 26.
Princeton University, The Anscombe Society, “Getting the Most Out of Sex,” Princeton.edu, February 14, 2008 (retrieved July 30, 2008).
Jennifer Roback Morse, Smart Sex: Finding Life-long Love in a Hook-up World, Spence Publishing Company, 2005, from Kathryn Jean Lopez, (ed.),
National Review Online, “Q & A,” Interrogatory, nationalreviewonline.com, February 14, 2006 (retrieved July 30, 2008).
Denise D. Hallfors, et al., “Adolescent Depression and Suicide Risk, Association With Sex and Drug Behavior,” American Journal of Preventative
Medicine, vol. 27, no. 3, 2004: 224-231.
Princeton University, The Anscombe Society, “Getting the Most Out of Sex,” Princeton.edu, February 14, 2008 (retrieved July 30, 2008).
Ibid.
Chapter 6 – Bu ildin g Your Tea m
1.
2.
3.
Dictionary.com Unabridged (v 1.1), based on the Random House Unabridged Dictionary, Random House, Inc. 2006 (retrieved July 25, 2008).
Dictionary.com, WordNet 3.0 by Princeton University, 2006 (retrieved July 25, 2008).
Jennifer Roback Morse, Smart Sex: Finding Life-Long Love in a Hook-Up World, Spence Publishing Company, July 30, 2005, quoted by Kathryn
Jean Lopez (ed.) in “Interrogatory,” nationalreviewonline, February 14, 2006 (retrieved July 31, 2008).
4. Teen Resource Center from the office of the Attorney General of Texas, “What Makes a Friendship Healthy?”, Texas Teen Page, oag.state.tx.us
(retrieved July 25, 2008).
5. Suzanne Fremont, Ph.D., The University of Texas at Austin Counseling and Mental Health Center, with contributions from the Counseling
Services at Pace University and at the University of Wisconsin – Eau-Claire, and the Counseling Center for Human Development at the
University of South Florida, “Building a Healthy Relationship from the Start,” utexas.edu, 2008 (retrieved August 7, 2008).
6. D’Arcy Lyness, Ph.D., The Nemours Foundation, “Am I in a Healthy Relationship?”, TeensHealth, kidshealth.org, April 2008 (retrieved July 25, 2008).
7.
Gary Chapman, “Making Marriage Work: It Doesn’t Have to Feel Like a Chore,” The Five Love Languages: For Couples, fivelovelanguages.com
(retrieved July 25, 2008).
8. Dan Darnell, Ph.D., The University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill, “Relationship Skills: Learning to Love,” Campus Health Services, 2001
(retrieved August 7, 2008).
9. Gary Chapman, “Making Marriage Work: It Doesn’t Have to Feel Like a Chore,” The Five Love Languages: For Couples, fivelovelanguages.com
(retrieved July 25, 2008).
10. Ibid.
11. D’Arcy Lyness, Ph.D., The Nemours Foundation, “Am I in a Healthy Relationship?”, TeensHealth, kidshealth.org, April 2008 (retrieved July 25, 2008).
12. “Relationships,” Be Healthy, Be Happy, Be You, girlshealth.gov, June 26, 2008 (retrieved August 12, 2008).
Chapter 7 – Win ni n g the Prize
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
U.S. Code, Title 1, Chapter 1, section 7, January, 2006, gpo.gov (retrieved April 21, 2008).
Monte Neil Stewart (President), Marriage Law Foundation, “Marriage Facts,” Harvard Journal of Law and Public Policy vol. 31,
January 2008: 320-322.
Kristin Anderson Moore Ph. D., et al., “What is ‘Healthy Marriage’? Defining the Concept,” Child Trends Research Brief #2004-16,
September 2004: 3, 5.
Ibid.
Barbara DaFoe Whitehead and David Popenoe, National Marriage Project, “Marriage and Family,” The State of Our Unions, 2005: 19.
Linda J. Waite and Kara Joyner, “Emotional and Physical Satisfaction with Sex in Married, Cohabiting, and Dating Sexual Unions: Do Men and
Women Differ?,” in E.O. Laumann and R.T. Michael (eds.), Sex, Love and Health in America, (Chicago: University of Chicago Press, 2001): 239-269.
Jay Teachman, “Premarital Sex, Cohabitation and Divorce: The Broken Link,” printed in the National Council of Family Relations issue of Journal
of Marriage and Family 65, May 2003: 444-455.
Chapter 8 – Ga me Ti me
1.
2.
Bill Albert et al., (editors), “14 and Younger: The Sexual Behavior of Young Adults,” The National Campaign to Prevent Teen Pregnancy, 2003.
Denise Hallfors, et al., “Which Comes First in Adolescence – Sex and Drugs and or Depression?”, American Journal of Preventative Medicine,
vol. 29, issue 3, October 2005: 163-170.
A.C. Green’s
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14.
15.
16.
17.
18.
19.
20.
21.
22.
23.
24.
Acknowledgments
Special thanks to:
25.
26.
27.
28.
Libby Macke for her significant contribution as coauthor of the original edition.
29.
The A.C. Green Youth Foundation
for its support and assistance with the development of this text.
30.
Cori Moschberger and Michelle Lenz
for their participation in the development of classroom discussions and demonstrations.
Glyn and Toya Milburn, Dan and Griska Gray, and Lakita Garth Wright
for sharing their stories for Chapter 7, Winning the Prize, and
John Sullivan, Deerfield High School, for help in the development of Chapter 2, TV Time-Out.
Heather Desgagné for her insight, review and contributions.
31.
32.
33.
34.
35.
36.
37.
38.
A.C. Green quotations have been adapted with permission from Victory,
by A.C. Green with J.C. Webster, Creation House, 1994.
39.
40.
Photos of A.C. Green used with permission from NBA Entertainment and the A.C. Green Youth Foundation.
NBAE photographer credits: pp. 5, 21, & 50, Andrew D. Bernstein; p. 6 & back cover, Lou Capozzola;
p. 25, Fernando Medina; p. 45, Noren Trotman; p. 73, Nathaniel S. Butler; p. 78, Andy Hayt.
Design and digital imaging by Carrie Krueger
Visual Conceptions, Mt. Prospect, Illinois
41.
42.
43.
44.
45.
46.
47.
48.
49.
50.
51.
52.
53.
54.
55.
56.
57.
58.
59.
60.
61.
Ibid.
Ibid.
U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, “Parents, Speak Up!”, A Guide for Discussing Abstinence, Sex and Relationships, June 2007: 1.
Yale-New Haven Children’s Hospital, “Sexually Transmitted Diseases,” Teens and Health, ynhh.org, June 6, 2007 (retrieved July 30, 2008).
The Guttmacher Institute, “Predictors of Overlapping Relationships Are Different for Men and Women,” Perspectives on Sexual and
Reproductive Health, Volume 34, Number 5, September/October 2002: 1.
D.P. Orr, et al., “Subsequent Sexually Transmitted Infection in Urban Adolescents and Young Adults,” Archives of Pediatrics and Adolescent
Medicine, 155, 2001: 947-953.
H.W. Chesson, et al., 2004, “The Estimated Direct Medical Cost of Sexually Transmitted Disease Among American Youth 2000,” Perspectives on
Sexual and Reproductive Health, vol. 36, issue 1: 11-19.
Alan Guttmacher Institute, “Facts on Sexually Transmitted Infections in the United States,” guttmacher.org, August, 2006 (retrieved November 7,
2006).
Ibid.
Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, “HPV,” CDC Fact Sheet, cdc.gov, 2008 (retrieved July 5, 2008).
National Cancer Institute, “Human Papillomaviras: Questions and Answers,” National Cancer Institute Fact Sheet, September 12, 2007,
cancer.gov (retrieved June 24, 2008).
Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, “HPV,” CDC Fact Sheet, cdc.gov, 2008 (retrieved July 5, 2008).
Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, “HIV/AIDS,” CDC Fact Sheet, 2008 (retrieved July 5, 2008).
Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, “Genital Herpes,” CDC Fact Sheet, cdc.gov, 2008 (retrieved July 5, 2008).
U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, The National Women’s Health Information Center, “Sexually Transmitted Diseases: Overview,”
WomensHealth.gov, May 2005 p. 5 (retrieved July 30, 2008).
Brigham and Women’s Hospital, Harvard Medical School Teaching Affiliate, “Sexually Transmitted Diseases,” Stay Well Solutions Online,
September 14, 2006. (retrieved July 30, 2008).
U.S. Department of State, Office of the U.S. Global Aids Coordinator, “Gender and HIV/AIDS:ñ Responding to Critical Issues,” The President’s
Emergency Plan for AIDS Relief, Chapter 4, February 8, 2006: 1.
U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, The National Women’s Health Information Center, “Sexually Transmitted Diseases: Overview,”
WomensHealth.gov, May 2005, (retrieved July 30, 2008).
World Health Organization, “Introduction to STI Prevention and Control,” Trainer’s Guide, Module 1, 2007: 18.
Warning label shown as printed on Trojan brand latex condom package, expiration date November, 2012.
Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, “HPV Vaccine: Questions and Answers,” cdc.gov, August, 2006 (retrieved November 7, 2006).
Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, K.A. Workowski, W.C. Levine, “Sexually Transmitted Diseases Treatment Guidelines 2002”
Morbidity and Mortality Weekly Report, vol. 51, 2002: 1-78.
Hearst, N. and Chen, S., “Condom Promotion for Aids Prevention in the Developing World: Is It Working?” Studies in Family Planning 2004,
35(1): 39-47.
“Abstain,” Merriam-Webster’s Medical Dictionary (2002) Dictionary.com (retrieved April 14, 2008).
U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, Administration of Children & Families, “ACF Grant Opportunities,” acf.hhs.gov, March 1, 2007
(retrieved April 14, 2008).
H. Weinstock, et al., “Sexually Transmitted Diseases among American Youth: Incidence and Prevalence Estimates, 2000,” Perspectives on
Sexual and Reproductive Health, 36(1), 2004: 6-10.
Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, “Trends in Reportable Sexually Transmitted Disease in the United States, 2006,” STD Surveillance
2006, November 14, 2007: 1-2 .
Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, “Chlamydia,” CDC Fact Sheet, cdc.gov, December 20, 2007: 1-3 (retrieved June 5, 2008).
Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, “Gonorrhea,” CDC Fact Sheet, cdc.gov, February 28, 2008: 2 (retrieved June 5, 2008).
National Institutes of Health, National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases, “Gonorrhea,” niaid.nih.gov (retrieved July 7, 2008).
Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, “Syphilis,” CDC Fact Sheet, cdc.gov, January 4, 2008: 1-3 (retrieved June 5, 2008).
National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases, “Syphilis – Pamphlet,” January 8, 2001, findarticles.com (retrieved July 7, 2008).
Larissa Hirsch, MD, Nemours Foundation, “Syphilis,” TeensHealth, Kidshealth.org, March, 2007: 2 (retrieved July 7, 2008).
Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, “Trichomoniasis,” CDC Fact Sheet, cdc.gov, December 19, 2007 (retrieved June 5, 2008).
Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, “PID,” CDC Fact Sheet, cdc.gov, April 7, 2008 (retrieved June 5, 2008).
Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, “Genital Herpes,” CDC Fact Sheet, cdc.gov, January 4, 2008 (retrieved June 5, 2008).
March of Dimes Foundation, “Sexually Transmitted Infections in Pregnancy”, “What is Genital Herpes?” Quick Reference Fact Sheets,
marchofdimes.com, July 2007 (retrieved July 8, 2008).
Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, “Genital HPV Infection,” CDC Fact Sheet, cdc.gov, April 10, 2008 (retrieved July 8, 2008).
U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, The National Women’s Health Information Center, “Human Papillomavirus (HPV) and Genital
Warts,” WomensHealth.gov, June 2006 (retrieved July 8, 2008).
Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, “Cervical Cancer,” CDC Fact Sheet, cdc.gov, July 11, 2008 (retrieved July 25, 2008).
Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, “Hepatitis B,” CDC Fact Sheet, cdc.gov, June 27, 2008 (retrieved June 5, 2008).
Center for Disease Control and Prevention, “HIV/AIDS,” CDC Fact Sheet, cdc.gov, March 2007 (retrieved June 5, 2008).
Ibid.
Ibid.
Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, “The Role of STD Detection and Treatment in HIV Prevention,” CDC Fact Sheet, cdc.gov,
April 10, 2008 (retrieved July 17, 2008).
Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, “HIV Testing: It Helps to Know,” A Cup of Health with the CDC (podcast, recorded July 31, 2007),
cdc.gov, August 3, 2007 (retrieved July 17, 2008).
Harvard True Love Revolution, “Frequently Asked Questions,” hcs.harvard.edu (retrieved July 25, 2008).
Alan Guttmacher Institute, “Facts on Sexually Transmitted Infections in the United States,” guttmacher.org, August 2006
(retrieved July 17, 2008).
Sources
Chapter 1 – I Got Ga me!
1.
2.
“Abstinence,” Merriam-Webster’s Medical Dictionary (2002) Dictionary.com (retrieved April 11, 2008).
U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, Administration for Children and Families, “ACF Grant Opportunities,” acf.hhs.gov, March 1, 2007
(retrieved April 11, 2008).
Chapter 2 – TV Time Out
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
9.
10.
11.
12.
13.
14.
15.
16.
17.
18.
University of California, Santa Barbara, “Sexuality in the Mass Media: How to View the Media Critically,” SexInfo, soc.ucsb.edu, 2008
(retrieved May 15, 2008).
American Academy of Pediatrics, “Sex, Media, and Your Child,” AAP Parent Pages, pediatrics.aappublications.org, January 2001
(retrieved May 15, 2008).
PBS, “Targeting Our Children: Merchants of Cool”, Frontline, February 27, 2001, pbs.org (retrieved July 14, 2008).
Ibid.
Julie Bosman, “What’s Cool Online? Teenagers Render Verdict,” The New York Times, September 29, 2005.
PBS, “Targeting Our Children: Merchants of Cool”, Frontline, February 27, 2001, pbs.org (retrieved July 14, 2008).
Palo Alto Medical Center, “Teens and the Media,” pamf.org, from Common Sense Media, “Commercialism,” commonsensemedia.org
(retrieved July 14, 2008).
Tom Reichert, Jacqueline Lambaise, Sex in Consumer Culture: The Erotic Content of Media Marketing, Lawrence Earlbaum Associates,
September 6, 2005: 3-4.
Ibid.
Susan M. Novick, “The Impact of the Media: Teaching Teens to Think for Themselves,” Parenting Teens Online, February, 2008: 1
(retrieved July 14, 2008).
Palo Alto Medical Center, “Teens and the Media,” pamf.org, from Common Sense Media, “Commercialism,” commonsensemedia.org
(retrieved July 14, 2008).
Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, “Youth Risk Behavior Surveillance United States, 2007,” Morbidity and Mortality Weekly Report,
57(SS04) , June 6, 2008: 1.
The Harrison Group, “Teen Trends Study,” referenced by Stefanie Olsen in “Teens and Media: A Full-Time Job,” news.cnet.com, December 7, 2006
(retrieved July 14, 2008).
Watershed Publishing LLC and Media Buyer Planner LLC, “Global Entertainment & Media to Reach $2.2 T in 2012,” Marketing Charts,
marketingcharts.com, June 20, 2008 (retrieved July 14, 2008).
2000 Report on Television: The First Fifty Years, (New York: Nielsen Media Research), 13-15.
Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, “Youth Risk Behavior Surveillance, United States, 2007,” Ibid: 21.
Bill Albert, National Campaign to Prevent Teen Pregnancy, “With One Voice : America’s Adults and Teens Sound Off About Teen Pregnancy,” Regret,
Virginity and Attitudes About Teen Sex, February, 2007 : 26.
Ibid: 17.
Chapter 3 – Rules of the Ga me
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
Bill Albert, National Campaign to Prevent Teen Pregnancy, “With One Voice : America’s Adults and Teens Sound Off About Teen Pregnancy,” Regret,
Virginity and Attitudes About Teen Sex, February, 2007 : 26
Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, “Tracking the Hidden Epidemics 2000,” Trends in STDs in the United States.
The Guttmacher Institute, “U.S. Teenage Pregnancy Statistics,” National and State Trends, September, 2006: 2.
Ibid.
J.C. Abma, et al., National Center for Health Statistics, “Teenagers in the United States: Sexual Activity, Contraceptive Use and Childbearing,” Vital
Health Statistics, vol. 23, issue 24, Data from the National Survey of Family Growth, December, 2004: 1-48.
S.K. Henshaw, The Guttmacher Institute, “U.S. Teenage Pregnancy Statistics,” 2003. Data based on reports from the National Center for Health
Statistics, (NCHS), AGI, CDC, and the Bureau of the Census; National Campaign to Prevent Teen Pregnancy, 2004.
Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, Fact Sheet: Teen Pregnancy (http://www.cdc.gov/reproductivehealth/AdolescentReproHealth/
index.htm. Accessed 2/19/09). Citing: Chandra A, Martinez GM, Mosher WD, Abma JC, Jones J. Fertility, family planning, and reproductive health of
U.S. women: data from the 2002 National Survey of Family Growth. Vital Health Statistics 2005;23(25).
Chapter 4 – Avoidin g the Penalties
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
9.
10.
11.
12.
13.
American Social Health Association, “Sexually Transmitted Diseases,” Overview Fact Sheet, ashastd.org (retrieved May 15, 2008).
Larissa Hirsch, MD, “About Sexually Transmitted Diseases,” TeensHealth, kidshealth.org, March, 2007 (retrieved May 15, 2008).
U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, “STDs, Including HIV/AIDS,” womenshealth.gov, June, 2007 (retrieved June 24, 2008).
Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, “STD Awareness Month,” cdcnpin.org, April, 2008 (retrieved June 24, 2008).
Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, “Genital HPV Infection – CDC Fact Sheet,” cdc.gov, April, 2008 (retrieved June 20, 2008).
Centers for Disease Control an Prevention, “Cases of HIV Infection and Aids in the United States and Dependent Areas, 2006” CDC HIV/AIDS
Surveillance Report, 2006, Vol. 18, March 26, 2008:
Marnie Ko, “The Only Safe Sex is No Sex,” The Report, January 6, 2003: 51.
Bridgewater College, “STD FACTS,” Reproductive Health and STDs, bridgewater.edu, 2007 (retrieved April 2, 2008).
Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, “Pelvic Inflammatory Disease,” CDC Fact Sheet, April 7, 2008, cdc.gov (retrieved June 20, 2008).
National Cancer Institute, “Human Papillomavirus: Questions and Answers,” National Cancer Institute Fact Sheet, September 12, 2007, cancer.gov
(retrieved June 24, 2008).
U.S. National Library of Medicine and the National Institutes of Health, “Infertility,” Medline Plus, March 27, 2008 nlm.nih.gov
(retrieved June 20, 2008).
American Cancer Society, “What is Cancer?” Cancer Reference Information, March 11, 2008 cancer.org (retrieved June 20, 2008).
Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, “STD Awareness Month,” cdcnpin.org, April, 2008 (retrieved June 24, 2008).
A.C. Green’s
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1. I Got Game!
PLAN
Making A Game Plan for Your Life ......................................................................................................................5
2. TV Time-Out
What’s Up With Sex in the Media? .................................................................................................................. 13
3. Rules Of The Game
Why Boundaries Matter ...................................................................................................................................... 23
4. Avoiding The Penalties
The Risks and Consequences of Sex Before Marriage ............................................................................. 31
5. Half-Time
It’s Never Too Late to Start Over Again ......................................................................................................... 41
6. Building Your Team
The Importance of Choosing Your Friends .................................................................................................... 49
7. Winning The Prize
Looking at Marriage as a Goal ........................................................................................................................... 57
8. Game Time
Making it Work ....................................................................................................................................................... 69
76
Chapter 1
Go For The Win!
The kind of commitment that enables you to be
abstinent until marriage is the same kind of
commitment that will enable you to accomplish
your goals, to succeed in life, and to win.
Making It Happen
I Got Game!
On November 20, 1997, A.C. Green surpassed Randy
Smith’s NBA record of 906 consecutive games and
was officially honored as the Ironman of the NBA.
A.C. continued his consecutive game streak until
April 18, 2001 when the streak ended at 1,192 and
stands today as the NBA record. One year later,
A.C. Green married Veronique on April 20, 2002.
A.C. now tells teens:
“My wife Veronique and I were able to resist the
pressures toward sexual activity before marriage.
We know that abstinence is one of the best ways
to prepare yourself for a good marriage in the
future, if that is your desire. We did it – and we
know that you can to. Making a Game Plan can
help you to get there.”
Thinking It Over...
Only you can choose a Game Plan for your future, and only you can put
that Game Plan into action. Making abstinence a part of your Game Plan
will require a strong defense in order to resist pressures from others,
but it is definitely worth it.
Parent
Link
For Home Discussion:
What do you think is the meaning of the quote by Glyn Milburn on page 71?
How would you encourage teens to set limits in dating relationships and to resist negative peer pressure? (Pages 72-74)
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75
I Got Game!
JOEL & AMY
A.C. Green
Joel: “Amy, you know I love you, so what are you
waiting for? If you really loved me, you’d show
me by having sex with me.”
Amy: “No, Joel. I do love you, and that’s why I’m
not going to do this.”
When A.C. Green was in high school, he played
basketball at Benson High School in Oregon.
While he hoped that he would someday play
in the NBA, his hope was just a dream. Upon
his graduation from Oregon State University, A.C.
was drafted in the first round by the Los Angeles
Lakers and went on to win three NBA
championships with the team.
Joel: (Joel moves closer and takes Amy’s hand)
“Amy, all of our friends are having sex.
Let’s just get it over with.”
A.C. Green holds the NBA and ABA records for
most games played in a row at 1,192 – that’s
why they call him the Ironman. He’s known for
his commitment to the team and for his
endurance.
Amy: (Opens the door and walks out) “I care about you, but we’ll have to talk about this another time.” (Amy leaves).
But that’s not all that sets A.C. apart.
A.C. attributes much of his success to
a decision that he made as a teenager
and has kept to this day.
Amy: (Stands up and moves toward the front door)
“Joel, you know I care about you, but love
and sex aren’t the same thing. I don’t want to
mess up our relationship.”
Joel: (Joel moves toward Amy) “What’s the matter with you, Amy? I really thought that you loved me.”
The first step is the most important. You must make it clear that you do not intend to be sexually active.
Write your responses in the scenarios below to practice speaking up and resisting pressure.
“You know I love you, so what
are you waiting for? Don’t you
love me? I want to show you
how much I love you in a
physical way. ”
“I promise nothing will happen –
I’ll use protection.”
“All our friends are having
sex. Let’s just get it over
with.”
“I made a decision... I resolved not to be with a woman until I married.
My convictions were obvious when I joined the Lakers but not proven, so a few players taunted, teased, tempted, and
tried me to see if I’d hold up to my standards to save sex for marriage. ‘Hey wait ‘til you see what’s waiting for
you,’ they said… ‘How much do you want to bet A.C. can’t stay away from so and so?’ one said. ‘I’ll bet twenty
dollars he can’t,’ said another. Still another piped up with, ‘Count me in for a hundred dollars.’ ‘You won’t last two
months in the NBA,’ one of the guys told me. Some even threatened to set me up with women that they knew would
pressure me. ‘Let’s see how strong you really are,’ they said.
Eventually they got tired of the game and started believing in me.”
“You’re still a virgin? You don’t know what
you’re missing.”
“Everybody knows you’re not a virgin.
You can’t stop being sexually active once
you’ve already started.”
74
7
Defense Wins Championships
Choosing abstinence until marriage requires a solid defense to resist the many pressures that you will face.
1.
What are some of the sources of pressure to have sex that teens face today?
Long before joining the NBA, A.C. Green was focused on doing something positive with his life.
He wanted either to play basketball or to be a sports broadcaster. Even though he could not
be sure he would make the NBA, A.C. made a game plan for his life and he stayed with it.
What are some of your goals for the future?
• While there are many influences on teens to have sex today, some of the strongest pressures often
come from the people that they know the best. Pressure may come from a boyfriend or girlfriend
or other friends.
2.
Sometimes pressure can come from within. What are some of the reasons why teens might put
pressure on themselves to have sex?
Give one word descriptions of some of the things
that you would like to see in your life 10 years
from now. Write these goals in the clouds.
It takes a strong person to resist the pressures from within or without. Those who make healthy
choices are not people who have never struggled – they are people who have struggled and won
because they believe that they are worth it! Be confident in who you are, not in who others want
you to be. Let’s look at a defensive plan to resist pressure.
Planning Your Defense
If someone is pressuring you to have sex or to do anything that you’ve decided that you don’t want to
do, you must clearly and directly resist this pressure with both words and actions.
1.
SPEAK UP: This is the first step in resisting pressure. You must actually say “no.” Often a
person is thinking “no,” but it is important to actually say it. People who respect you, and
care about you will listen to what you say and abide by your wishes.
Name three possible career goals. What would you like to do?
•
•
2.
3.
STAND UP: If speaking up doesn’t end the pressure, then you must take action. You must
physically position yourself to leave. You must actually stand up and be clear that you will not
be involved in the behavior you are being pressured to do.
WALK AWAY: If the pressure continues after you speak up and stand up, you must leave.
Do not continue to reason with the person at this time. You can talk about it at a later date.
You must walk away.
•
8
73
Getting There
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Now take a look at the cloud on the previous page which represents your dreams and at your list of
three possible career goals.
• Will these dreams and goals be easy for you to accomplish?
❏ Yes
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• What will it take for you to reach these goals? List three things you will have to do
to accomplish your goals.
1.
Choosing sexual abstinence until marriage is about making wise, responsible decisions and exercising
self-control. Do you think that teens who control themselves sexually are better able to control
themselves and make good decisions in other areas of their lives as well? Explain.
2.
Do you think that someone who is able to exercise self-control is a strong person? Why?
• When should you begin planning to achieve your future goals?
As a teenager, there are a few decisions that will have a significant impact on your future. Good
decisions now make it easier for you to accomplish your goals, and bad decisions make it more
difficult for you to accomplish your goals.
2.
Describe some activities that could make it difficult for you to accomplish your goals:
TOM’S STORY
Tom is now 27 years old. He’s been in a wheelchair since he
was 15. Tom wasn’t driving the car, but he was riding in a car
with a friend who was driving while drunk. For the rest of his
life, Tom will be in a wheelchair needing daily assistance.
Tom thought he was okay because he wasn’t drinking.
The problem is that his friend was drinking – and driving.
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Young teens who choose abstinence are less likely
than sexually active teens to be involved in
many risky behaviors such as:1,2
• Alcohol Use
• Anti-Social Behavior
• Depression/Suicide
• Tobacco Use
• Illicit Drug Use
He often thinks about how different his life would be if only
he had resisted his friends and chosen not to ride in the
car that day.
“If you can control yourself sexually, you can control yourself. Period.”
72
9
1.
Offensive Strategy
1.
In choosing abstinence, it is important to set limits in dating relationships. If physical activity
progresses, do you think that it becomes easier or more difficult to stop and say no to sex?
❏ It becomes easier
2.
❏ It becomes more difficult
What should Tom have done when his friends told him to come along for the ride?
• What would you do?
❏ Not sure
• What makes it difficult for the couple to stop?
• How different would Tom’s life be if he had resisted his friends and made a good
decision that day?
• Is it possible that one person may want to stop and the other person may not want to stop?
Why would this be a problem?
• How different might your life be if you allow yourself to be pressured in a negative way by others?
Is setting physical boundaries a decision that you should make
before you are emotionally involved with someone, or afterward?
❏ Before
❏ After
2.
• Why?
Think Ahead. Choosing abstinence requires setting boundaries for yourself because the farther
you go physically, the harder it is to stop.
Holdin g Ha nds ➞ Hu ggin g ➞ Kissin g ➞
Deep Kissi n g ➞
Sexual Activity ➞
Sexual Intercourse
Like a track runner in a sprint, the faster an athlete runs, the more difficult it becomes to stop quickly.
• If a sprinter is running a 100-yard dash, is it possible to
stop at 95 yards without going through the tape at the finish line?
❏ Yes
❏ No
• Why is it difficult for the runner to stop?
Developing an offensive strategy for staying on your game plan means deciding to set boundaries.
No one else can make the decision for you. This is a decision that you will have to make for yourself.
When Tom was 15, he had goals and dreams for
his life. Do you think he can still accomplish some
of those dreams and goals? What will it take?
“It’s great to let people know their options, but the
options given today are faulty. Young people are told
when they’re old enough to smoke, drink, drive, vote,
go to school, and fight in
the military. Why don’t
we at least tell them
how much better off
they’ll be, physically,
emotionally,
mentally, and
socially, if they
wait until
marriage
for sex?”
71
Considering Abstinence
As Part Of Your Game Plan
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“Don’t trade what you want most
for what you want for the moment.”
Glyn Milburn
Glyn Milburn is a former All Pro Football Player for the Chicago
Bears. Glyn believes that, on and off the field, determination
and commitment make for a winning team.
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1.
Examine the statement above by Glyn Milburn.
Put this statement in your own words.
What does he mean?
What do you think about abstinence? Does it seem positive or negative to you? ❏ Positive ❏ Negative
• How might sexual abstinence make it easier for you to accomplish your future goals?
2.
2.
Who will make the decision about whether or not you will be abstinent
until marriage?
What things are most important to you? Go back to Chapter One and look at your dreams and goals
on page 7. List your three most important dreams and goals.
• Are you committed to achieving these goals?
❏ Yes
❏ No
• If so, list three steps that you will need to take to accomplish these goals.
3.
Who will benefit from the good choices that you make for yourself?
Absti nence doesn’t mean: Sex is bad.
3.
Absti nence mea ns: Sex is good.
Save it, protect it, and preserve it so that
you can enjoy it in a marriage relationship.
Do you think that making a game plan for your life and sticking to it will have a positive impact
on others? If so, how?
11
Game Time
“You’ve got a destiny to fulfill. You’re the only person who can do it.
Nothing is more fulfilling personally. And nothing
makes a greater impact on the world.”
In 1988, A.C. Green founded the A.C. Green Youth Foundation.
The A.C. Green Programs for Youth include basketball camps
and after school programs. For more than 20 years, thousands of
youth have benefitted from these programs. These programs gather
youth from diverse backgrounds and give them the opportunity
to learn and to have fun!
When A.C. was a teenager, he had a dream for his life. He made a game
plan which included not only playing basketball but also helping others.
STEVE AND TINA
Steve and Tina had been dating for about six months and had
just graduated from high school. As their relationship developed
and they were preparing to go to college, Tina began to pressure
Steve for sex. He had been abstinent and was planning to save
sex for marriage. One night when they were alone, she told him
that if he truly loved her he would prove his love to her by having
sex with her. He refused and left the house. Their relationship
ended shortly afterward.
Do you think Steve made a good decision?
❏ Yes
❏ No
Two months later Steve learned that Tina was already pregnant on
that night when she was trying to get him to have sex with her.
Tina became a single mother at age 18.
1.
• How do you think that A.C.’s game plan has benefitted others?
Why do you think Tina was trying to get Steve to have sex with her?
What was her real concern?
• Do you think that Tina’s former boyfriend may have pressured her for sex?
What are some feelings Tina might be experiencing now?
• If Steve had had sex with Tina, do you think it would have affected his future? ❏ Yes ❏ No
How?
2.
What would you do if a boyfriend or girlfriend were pressuring you to have sex?
12
Chapter 8
STEVE AND KAREN
Six years later, Steve met his future wife Karen in college. Steve and Karen were both abstinent,
and shortly after they graduated from college, they were married. Steve and Karen have now been
married for 17 years and have four children. Steve is a teacher, and Karen enjoys caring for the
children. Steve and Karen never have to worry about sexually transmitted diseases or unwanted
pregnancy. Sex is a normal, natural, and exciting part of their lives together.
1.
Game Time
For Steve and Karen, what were the benefits of saving sex for marriage?
• Do you think that Steve and Karen regret being abstinent until marriage?
Why or why not?
❏ Yes
❏ No
• How did abstinence help Steve and Karen accomplish their game plans?
2.
How could saving sex for marriage benefit you now and in the future and help you
accomplish your game plan?
S
HIGHLIGHT
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Thinking It Over...
Developing a Game Plan for your life can help you reach your
future goals and dreams. Making good decisions now and choosing
abstinence can make your Game Plan a lot easier to accomplish.
Parent
Link
For Home Discussion:
What were some of your goals and dreams when you were my age? (Page 7)
How do you think abstinence could help teens in reaching their future goals? (Page 10)
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The true sign of greatness
is one’s durability
to stay the course. The record shows that A.C. Green is
the most durable man in the history of sports when it
comes to character. A.C. Green’s Game Plan will help you
make good choices to accomplish your goals.
Pat Riley
Former Coach, Miami Heat
My wife and I have read through Game Plan,
and we think it’s terrific. This is a great tool
to help you think through some of
the most important
decisions in your life.
I would love to see this book
get into the hands of every teenager
A.C. Green’s
e
am
G
PLAN
and pre-teenager in the country.
Mike Singletary
NFL Hall of Fame Football Player,
Head Coach, San Francisco 49ers
Today there are messages everywhere that encourage sex outside of a marriage relationship.
Teens today are craving
the real truth about sex.
They want people to care
about them enough to challenge them. Game Plan gives teens the truth about sex,
and a positive message of how to succeed in life and achieve their best.
Tara Dawn Christensen
Former Miss America, Recording Artist & Speaker
Just as
discipline and perseverance are important
in sports,
they are critical in all areas of life. Don’t let your game or your life suffer
because you aren’t prepared. A.C. Green’s Game Plan can help you.
Everybody
has one life –
Time to develop
YOUR
e
m
a
GP A N
L
David Robinson
Former Player, San Antonio Spurs
SCOTT PHELPS