postpartum lullaby

POSTPARTUM LULLABY
A Poem by
Elizabeth Layton
© copyright 1993 the estate of Elizabeth Layton
ahwoo oo oo oo
ahwoo oo oo oo
wrr chee chee tu tu
tum mmm m cu cu birdybirdybirdy
I wake
tee tee tee
ahwoo oo oo oo
not quite su wee
awee awee
stretch take it slow
go to and fro on a
n
l
i
i
g – suspension bridge – g
h
h
t
t
mmm mmm m cu cu
twee twee
tum chee z
bobwhitebobwhite
mmm chu z
twee twee
z
ur ur
cheer cheer twee twee z
twee twee whit a ker whit a ker
tee tee tee
tee tee tee
cuu tu tu tu cummmmmmmmmmmmtwee twee
My pillow I lie on is cool
The northwest breeze, come to befool me, strokes my thigh
Breath of orange blossoms through foliage hedge disturbs me
Sacrilege? A pledge? Long ago? Through veil of tulle?
Yestermorn two fledglings sped from the redbird's nest
agitation turmoil protest
One born inept was left distressed
I oughta reft the nest, brought the small bird in the house
and kept.
Mother redbird fraught, distraught Clept, Clept!
Twilight I found the nestling, head up,
beak abutting on the sky,
not open, seeking, but shut instead, dead
Rockabye baby in the tree top Rockabye
Clepe Clepe Clepe Clepe
Is that her, bereft, still calling it to fly?
A thud on the terrace and a truck speeds right by
A baby plane makes an abortive flight igniting killing Lullaby
Tiny gaunt mouths suck no life from fleshless shriveled prunes
caressed, the unblest starve in bleak Sri Lanka and Bangladesh
India, Cambodia, afloat on a boat
Where next? Where next? Where next?
Anno Mundi Where next?
Lullaby.
My breasts are sleek high nipples roused spilling
The musical Pooh-Bear on guard in your crib
topples onto its chubby plush face
and begins to tinkle its Brahms Lullaby air
Lullaby and Goodnight little angels will keep
their watch . . . . . o'er thy sleep.
My baby O my baby my darling
a brush of a butterfly wing
Crush. A dab of dust.
Ahush sweet thing Hushaby
In a lush apartment on a San Francisco hill I roam and moan
Today – today Patty will come home Lullaby
O Jerusalem Jerusalem! as a hen gathered her chickens under
her wings
and ye would not Lullaby
Rose cries out her Why's O God Mrs. Oswald denies O God!
Mrs. King sinks to her knees to pray – her babe has come to harm
Mrs. Hickok’s lifeblood quit running on a frugal Kansas farm
Mrs. Gilmore's on the rack as her son demands to die
Chad Little Chad So young to die. Sung too soon your Lullaby
The dead is the dead is the dead Lullaby
The flag flaps furls waves drapes oblong boxes bespangled
Be discreet
Its stars winked out never to be seen again
Fold it so the black holes, stars collapsed in upon themselves
do not show
The magnetic pull of these black holes draws me into their void
nothing lost within nothing
Fold this flag carefully, these holes can naught but grow
I said I might accept it these scars and bars with lack of stars
Taps
Lullaby
I smell oven gas hissing onto a tousled head
a dry syringe empty bottle this empty shell
Flotsam
Jetsam
My child O my little child you were so pretty Lullaby
Crash! wham! Strewn for endless miles graveyards of mangled steel
Persisting on forevermore graveyards of mangled bodies
gashed slashed and shattered irreparable
abyss of lifeless lifetimes irretrievable
Lullaby my pet ewe-lamb Lullaby
On entering the cancer wards a visiting mother I tie on a sterile
comedy mask not to spread my germs of fear to diminutive patients
My little cocoon do not weep Lullaby
Pasch! Pasch! My cherub the angels will keep thee Lullaby
The Great White Night of Brotherhood.
Drink this purple punch my Sweet
You gag and spume.
“Drink it” the Lord yells from his seat
Bodies stacked like cordwood fume in the jungle heat.
Rockabye my Baby to a Dixie melody
Adoption Papers: Sign Here ____________ Retching tears wrung for my misbegotten
Young peer teens shun and jeer “little mother” and the blur
of my name is one etching of my unsung lullaby
Some mother will sing to her fosterling
She chose you bud of a rose.
I smother my newborn babe – mirror image of its birth
My mirthless laugh is the silver side of my shriek E-eek!
When you grew to walk and talk
You should have taken care of me
Why didn’t you?
I balk to see you sprawl in squalor
I can’t bear at all to hear you squall
I’ll maul your head against the wall
Rockabye baby Shush up Wake up! Ever never Wake up!
when the wind blew the cradle did fall
In a hospital crib aborted fetus, mouse in a trap, is set by to die
A lifelong two weeks go by
Don’t look nor heed the puny mew
Don’t tie a ribbon pink or blue
Traps are cheap but their jaws bite deep Sleep Sleep
I drive the 4-lane with my map hung upside down upon the dash
My tot clings to me dings at me each potty stop for a lollipop
I get out at a destination not intent and leave my aged fondling
impaled alone upon the helm
Who will lull my motherless babe?
Fey in Gethsemane
Thorn crucify lay out myrrh inter sepulcher mourn
Lo the Pietà on show in its roundel
Hail Mary Blessed Mother I pray hum for Him still your roundelay
Mmmm mm mmmmmmmm mmmm m
Mmmm mm mmmmmmmm mmmm m
awhoo oo oo oo
awhoo oo oo oo
Hostages are shown on TV
“See, see that one there!
He had his head tuck down
He had that smile on for me to see he alright
I feel wonerful right now
He allaze worry how I feel
I feel wonerful right now!
Massacre of the Innocents! Alas! recur
recur in bloody mud
So go toll the roll
Condole Condole
Stanch the thud of blood and tears
Quell the flood of blood and fears
So go toll the bell and sound the knell
I open one eye
ahwoo oo oo oo
ahwoo oo oo oo
Childermas Heinous decree of Herod to slay Rockabye Rockabye
Rama! Rama! Rachel weeping for her children because they are not.
The voice of the turtle is heard in the land
ahwoo oo oo oo
ahwoo oo oo oo
Blessed are they that mourn for they shall be comforted
There is no consolation Rockabye Rockabye
I open the other eye
My child O my little child abye abye awee
I turn to touch you belove belove
ahwoo oo oo oo
ahwoo oo oo oo
There is naught can prevail through this tainted vale
but the plaintive wail
of the mourning dove
ahwoo oo oo oo
ahwoo oo oo oo
Foreverlastinglyeverafterwards
in your bright, your hallowed place
Pooh-Bear tinkles that Brahms Lullaby air
Lullaby and Goodnight little angels will keep
their watch o’er thy sleep.
Lullaby