BARMY ARMY SPECIAL

Your free magazine from the makers of ALL OUT CRICKET
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England’s Huge Winter:
SA and Pakistan previews
The Greatest Barmy Moments
“Everywhere we go…” How to
write the perfect cricket song
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EVERYWHERE
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Hello, Leafy here, welcome to this special edition of All Out
Cricket magazine, Barmy Army style.
It’s a great time to be involved with English cricket, there’s
such a buzz around the England team, and we’ve got some
brilliant tours coming up over the next few winters to keep that
buzz alive. And of course, the Barmy Army will be with the
lads every step of the way, just as we have been for the last 20
years.
What a journey it’s been. Back in 1994/95, down in Australia
where it all started, there were a lot of football fans there
watching the Ashes, and ‘The Barmy Army’ was actually a
football chant. It was a stupid name to have trademarked but
I didn’t know anything different! But over the years we have
changed the meaning of the name to represent something
really positive that fans and kids of all shapes and sizes can
buy into.
Now after 20 years it means the right thing. It is a chant that
can come out for whatever situation in the game. Because you
can’t predict cricket, anyone who thinks they can just needs to
look at this current Ashes series!
We get behind the boys and they love it. If you have a few
hundred people cheering your name when you run into bowl
it will add another yard of pace, and that extra yard is so often
the difference in cricket. Without a doubt, there is an increase
in performance when the vocal England fans are there and
supporting, and long may it continue.
Thanks to the good folks at All Out Cricket for helping us put
this magazine together. We hope you enjoy it, and that we get
to see you on tour over the next few months. There’s plenty of
cricket to be played, and singing to be had!
Cheers!
Paul Burnham
Barmy Army founder
I’d just like to say what a genuine pleasure it is to work with
the Barmies, and to produce this magazine right here for its
battalion. We go back quite a long way together, us and the
Barmy Army, combining to produce books and publications
over the years – as well as AOC providing a home for Paul
Winslow’s whimsical wordplay. I guess it’s because at All Out
Cricket we’re fans first and foremost, it’s how we got into it in
the first place, and that chimes with the Army. We stand for
similar things, for something good, something unbreakable: for
English cricket – a love supreme, if ever there was one. In the
following pages we seek to capture that spirit, and to bring you
a taster of what we do as a magazine. We hope you enjoy it,
and I’ll see you in Cape Town…
Phil Walker
Editor, AOC
THE DAY I GOT
THE Army
All Out Cricket editor Phil Walker knew of the Barmy Army – everybody does – but he had to travel
to Australia, and the hothouses of Brisbane and Adelaide, to truly understand it. Here he recalls that
2013/14 tour of duty, when England got battered but we sang on regardless.
So we’ve stumbled out of Brisbane. It’s the morning after the
news has come through about Trotty. We’re on the same flight
as the England squad, up to Alice Springs in the middle of
sweltering nowhere, and various TV camera crews have parked
themselves right outside the airport terminal entrance. The
cameras will get nothing out of them today, which is probably
enough of a story in itself. (Later that week, Dean Jones, the
ex-Australian batsman turned shock-jock controversy bin, will
write that Kevin Pietersen should be banned from listening to
music on planes and buses.)
It’s intended as a break from the piercing hum of an Ashes
series, and it does the job. The mayor of Alice announces this
visit by the England cricket team to be the most important
historical moment for the region since the Queen’s visit in 1956.
No one’s in the mood to argue.
The squad aren’t swamped out here but they’re not alone
either. The press pack is here, of course, and so is a core
division of the Barmy Army. The local media are just as
fascinated by the fans as they are with the team. Interviews
take place every few minutes. Bill Cooper’s worldly trumpet
gets an hourly airing; at one point he even pops up on
local TV playing a didgeridoo. A 20-over match between a
Barmy Army XI and an Indigenous XI gets live ball-by-ball
commentary on CAAMA Radio, going out across the whole
of the Northern Territories, while a steak-eating contest
between a gnarled Army veteran and the undisputed local
champ attracts an ABC camera crew: that’s right, in Australia,
two blokes eating steak in a pub goes national. The Barmy
Army are big news over here.
As England’s two-dayer against the Chairman’s XI wends
along in the heat, punctuated only by talk of selection options
for Adelaide, the stupor is broken by the sudden news that
the PA announcer at the ground has been stood down by
Cricket Australia for “inappropriate conduct”. Even though
there’s absolutely nothing in the claim that he said “Monty”
in a derogatory Asian accent when announcing Panesar’s
introduction, the man is handed his papers nonetheless. It’s a
surreal place, is Alice.
4 | ALL OUT CRICKET
Adelaide looms immense. Everyone feels it. The Barmy Army
rolls into town claiming the place as their spiritual home, the
phenomenon having first taken root here two decades back.
The newly sexed-up ‘multi-purpose’ stadium rolls out the velvet
for a behind-the-scenes tour, while outside the old romantics
who grew up on the grassy banks wrestle with progress.
The thinking is clear and right by England. Two spinners, give
Ben Stokes his head, win the toss, bat hard and long, get back
in the series, but when the coin comes down for Australia and
Cook begins with “Obviously, we would have liked…” it’s tough,
from the press box, to ward off the pessimism.
From the coin going up, to Michael Carberry’s drop of
Brad Haddin on day one, from Cook’s twin dismissals to KP’s
first-innings shocker, Swann’s unmanning and the gruesome
magic of Johnson and Clarke, Adelaide 2013 will go down as
England’s worst experience since, well, Adelaide 2006.
The press-box narrative is set. They’re past their best. The
captain’s knackered. The coach, great though he is, has driven
this bus quite far enough. They’re running scared, these souls
who’ve nothing left to give. I wander, in a daze, from the press
box, out to find the real people.
And in the outer, the chorus has a different take. Their loyalty
never wavers. Towards the end of the third day, Good Ol’ Billy
summons one more blast from his defiant trumpet. Considering
Australia are effectively 430-2 at the time, it hits me that this is
a pretty good effort.
Bill’s soldiers start up another chant. For old times! It’s a
touching little moment. And I’m struck again. So it’s for this
crowd out here, burning up in their shorts, that all this happens.
They bring kudos and levity all at once. “We’ve been here
before,” says Paul Winslow, Army veteran. “And we’ll be here
again, haemorrhaging money and having a great time.” (Talking
of money, that night the Barmy Army will raise over five grand
for The Broad Appeal charity.)
Winslow’s right, of course. This is the cycle of sport. Players
come and players go, and fortunes heave and sigh to the
rhythms of form. And all the while, the chorus just keeps on
singing. I think this was the day I finally got the Barmy Army.
AOC BARMY ARMY | 5
Raising An Army
From a small rebel alliance to an organised army travelling to all parts of the world, the Barmy Army
has come a long way from small beginnings, says veteran foot-soldier Paul Winslow.
It started almost by accident, certainly not by any intricate
design. A chance, throwaway line used by an Australian
journalist was picked up on by some cricket fans who printed
t-shirts with said line emblazoned across it. The ‘Barmy
Army’ was simply a moniker originally used to describe the
England fans on the chaotic Australia tour in 1994/95. It has
since become an iconic ingredient of the world cricket recipe.
Perennially the back story to any England tour abroad, these
fans are loved by the players they support, respected by the
opposition and welcomed by the people of towns and cities to
which they bring a sense of fun, life and a healthy thirst.
If nobody foresaw the coming of a cultural phenomenon,
Paul Burnham, Dave Peacock and Gareth Evans were certainly
quick to seize on the original opportunity presented. It was
they, having already produced t-shirts with the legend ‘We
came here with backpacks, you with ball and chain’ were quick
to pick up on the new phrase. They hotfooted it to the printers
6 | ALL OUT CRICKET
to create the first Barmy Army t-shirts and, helped out by an
unlikely England victory, were so successful the profit paid
for most of their trip. On arriving back in Blighty they quickly
trademarked the name.
It took a few years for the organisation to gradually evolve.
Back then the fans that travelled overseas were a small group
far removed in volume from the thousands expected to travel to
South Africa this winter. But as the years went by the numbers
gradually swelled and for many a Barmy Army tour became less
once-in-a-lifetime experience and more of a regular trip not to
be missed. Faces became familiar, friendships were formed and
a strong bond developed between those who shared this love of
cricket, travel and a certain type of fandom.
By the new millennium The Barmy Army hit South Africa
for the 1999/2000 tour that proved hugely popular and also
saw the arrival of a new face that would become recognisable
around the world. ‘Everywhere we go’ had long been a staple
part of the Barmy Army song repertoire (see page 16) but it
was on this tour that Vic Flowers (whose likeness to Jimmy
Savile was an easy reference until recent revelations) took it
upon himself to lead the song. Admittedly he got the words
wrong more often than right at first but it was the beginning of
a long career as the BA frontman subject to thousands of photo
requests as the Army’s iconic leader.
Four years later the Army recruited another key member
of personnel through random means. William Cooper is a
professional trumpet player and cricket fan. He took his trumpet
with him on the 2004 West Indies tour in order to practise for a
big concert he was due to play on his return to England. He had
no intention of playing it at the cricket, but fate took a hand.
Bill left said trumpet in a taxi at the end of a late night and
figured he would never see it again. The next Test was in Antigua
and Bill was surprised to hear a trumpet being played – badly
– in the ground. Borrowing some binoculars he ascertained
that the trumpet was his (it was blue – there aren’t many blue
trumpets around) and set off to recover the tool of his trade. He
was asked to prove it was his and played The Great Escape, for
the first of what would be hundreds of times, and as the crowd
sang along. Paul Burnham quickly spotted an opportunity to add
another recruit with a special talent.
2005 was another big year for the Army as it made its first
official stand on home territory, with blocks of seats allocated
for the incomparable Ashes series. The way the series caught
the imagination of the nation had a knock on effect and the
2006/07 return series saw almost certainly the biggest invasion
force ever assembled head to Australia for what was to prove a
pretty miserable tour. Four years later there were happier times
and the Army could barely produce shirts quickly enough to sell
them as everyone wanted a souvenir from the greatest victory
since the Army was formed.
While Australia is the spiritual home-away-from-home for
the Army it has a close affinity with each Test nation. Terrorism
didn’t prevent a small force visiting India in 2008 in the
aftermath of the Mumbai bombings, Pakistan is a favourite
venue for those who have visited while entire towns of New
Zealand have pretty much been taken over.
South Africa will again attract big numbers this winter,
attracted by the beauty of the grounds, the Christmas / New
Year timing and the value of the pound against the rand.
Wherever England play, the Barmy Army follows by the
thousands for the bigger tours and a couple of hundred to
somewhere like Bangladesh.
On any given tour there is a combination of old hands – cofounder Paul Burnham is still a regular tourist – a smattering of
soldiers with a decade of service under their belt and a bunch of
newbies. Everyone is welcome whether they have been around for
20 years or 20 minutes. Similarly there have been songs that have
survived the test of time and still retain a place in the songbook,
while new ones evolve as new players make their way into the team.
Several things remain constant – dedication, unwavering
support for a team however they are performing and the ability
to sing, have a good time and bring life to any Test arena. Far too
many Test cricket matches are now being played out in front of a
handful of fans where there used to be thousands. Thanks to the
Barmy Army, England will never have that problem.
AOC BARMY ARMY | 7
You Had To Be There!
Everyone’s got their favourite ‘Barmy’ memories. We asked some celebrated stalwarts from past Army tours for theirs.
Bill Cooper, AKA Billy The Trumpet
Allan Fairlie-Clarke, AKA Jockolad
First tour: Australia, 2002/03
Favourite Barmy Army memories?
Cape Town in 2010, with Onions battling out for the draw. Beautiful.
The Boxing Day Test at the MCG in 2010 – first day carnage, and then
the last day when only the England fans were in the ground and the
BA rocked the place!
The SCG a few days later. For the Mitchell Johnson duck – serenaded
all the way in to the middle, and then all the way back again. Also for
winning the Ashes in Australia finally, as Bill was playing The Last Post.
Bill and Vic joining the team in Trafalgar Square for the 2005 Ashes
celebrations.
Auckland 2013 – Matt Prior and Monty battling out for the draw.
Drawing is the new winning!
The India tour in 2008, post the Mumbai terrorist attack. Hastily
rearranged flights and hotels, with the Indians so grateful for us
being there, and Chennai resulting in the birth of the Swanny Super
Over song, after his first over – two wickets – in Test cricket.
2008, at the Thirsty Whale in Napier, with each player singing solo
in turn, until it came to Monty, who eventually enlisted the help of
Harmy to sing God Save The Queen!
8 | ALL OUT CRICKET
First tour: West Indies, 2004
Favourite day?
It has to be Boxing Day 2010/11 in Melbourne, bowling them out
for 98 and then being 157-0 at the end of the day. That won’t be
beaten, because the Aussies had been giving us grief, we’d lost the
Test before in Perth. That was something special, to come back that
comprehensively when we’d been that rubbish the game before. I
was at the 5-0 in Australia in 2006/07, so that makes it extra sweet!
Best night?
At the end of that same Test, a supposed Aussie Rules Football
legend, not that I know anything about it, said, “Lads, why don’t
you come up to my pub, I’ll let the Barmy Army take over.” So we
did. We invited the England boys over thinking they wouldn’t turn
up and about 11pm two minibuses rocked up with pretty much the
whole English team piling out, they’d all had a few and that party
went on all hours! The English lads were all behind the bar, pulling
themselves pints and we were all up having a sing-song. It’s the
sort of thing as fans you dream of, meeting the players and having
that two-way affection.
War Stories?
After a game in Galle in 2012, we all went out and I had this
prototype long fanfare trumpet with me, the sort of thing you see
in military parades, and of course it was decided it would be fun to
get a shot of me playing it in the sea at three in the morning. Then
some big wave comes and takes me out and I lost about two-thirds
of the trumpet! That’s the most printable one…
andy thomson, AKA Copper Andy
KATY COOKE AKA Cookie
First tour: Australia, 2002/03
First tour: South Africa, 1999/00
Greatest Night?
Without a shadow of a doubt, when we saved the Test in Cape Town
in 2009. It was the best non-victory, victory party that we’ve ever had.
It was so spontaneous; it got very messy with people dancing on the
bar. When we saved that Test match, it was almost better than a win
because we didn’t deserve to draw. The DJ was playing songs and they
were getting immediately adapted to Barmy Army songs, e.g. “Who’s
that coming over the hill, it’s Graham Onions, Graham ONIONS...”
Everyone was drinking this horrible concoction so we were all smashed.
Your favourite moment?
I went to Bangladesh in 2003, the whole tour, even the warm-up
games, and the food was amazing. It’s an amazing place to tour.
Why the Barmy Army?
A lot of it is the people you meet and the friends you make. You
might not see someone for a few months then you see them again
and you’re like brothers and sisters. It sounds like a cliché but it is
very much a family. It’s inclusive and everybody gets welcomed.
adje walton, AKA Adje
First tour: Australia, 1994/95
First tour?
I was there for 1994/95, when it all began. In those days Perth was
the last Test and I tagged on at the end. We were 2-1 down and Mark
Taylor left us about 480 to win with 4 sessions to go and I remember
thinking we’ll knock these off. By the end of the fourth day we were
27-5. But there were more English in there on the last day than
Australians, as there always will be.
How did it all start?
It was basically a bunch of backpackers who got together and started
supporting the team. We travel around the world and all the opposition
players love it. Now the Fanatics have started for Australia, which is a big
compliment. We’ve made friends with them and we all have a good time
– when they come over, they want to be with us.
Best night?
Cape Town in 2004/05, the fifth day. We knew we were going to
lose, Steve Harmison top-scored and we sung our hearts out. It
was funny, it was ridiculous, but we took it on the chin and had a
great time. The sort of people who make the effort to go to difficult
places, where there isn’t a bar in every corner, they’re the sort of
people I want to meet.
Paul Burnham, AKA Leafy
First tour: Australia, 1994/95
Greatest night?
Perth 2006/7, when we lost the Ashes. We lost at midday and were
still in the ground at the end of the day and Perth that night was
amazing. Even though we lost the Ashes, it was an unbelievable night,
it just showed that we’ll support the team no matter what. The players
know that as well. I don’t agree when any English player says “We
need to perform to get the crowd behind us.” It should be our job as
the crowd to spur them on to play well and then get really behind
them. I think we as the Barmy Army have proven that – it’s very British.
It’s also about our sense of humour, I think we have the best sense
of humour in the world. It doesn’t matter if we’re losing, we will still
support them 100 per cent. That’s what I love about the Barmy Army,
we only judge them at the end of the Test, not during the day.
AOC BARMY ARMY | 9
ENGLAND’S GREATEST
AWAY WINS
From the men who were there, we bring you some of the greatest Test victories since the formation of
the Barmy Army…
THE ADELAIDE ASSAULT – Phil DeFreitas
Australia v England, Fourth Test, Adelaide, 1995
We were on the back foot when I went into bat with John Crawley
towards the end of day four. I was very watchful and we managed to
get through that evening. The next morning I read a couple of quotes from
our coach Keith Fletcher saying that we’d do really well to get a draw out of this.
I thought that was a bit negative. I decided to play my natural game and that was
always to be very positive. Craig McDermott took the second new ball and I decided
to go after him. If it was in my arc, it was going. I was disappointed not to go on to
make my hundred but I was thrilled with 88. The guys bowled really well and we
ended up winning the match. It was a special Test and a great day for me. THE FAMOUS REARGUARD – Jack Russell
South Africa v England, Second Test, Johannesburg, 1995
Robin Smith had got caught at third-man, which I thought was a bit dumb, and I
walked to the wicket about an hour into play on the last day. Athers had that look in
his eye that he was going to do it, so I just thought some idiot better hang around at
the other end. God knows how I got to 29. I hit a four and I was so angry with myself.
When Darrell Hair took the bails off I almost had a go at him; I was so locked up in
the situation that I would have been there until midnight if I had to. I got the world
record number of dismissals in the same match. I couldn’t sleep the night before I got
the record. I needed one or two more dismissals the next day and sat up until 4am
drinking tea and watching the lightning out of my hotel window.
AOC BARMY ARMY | 11
THE HARDEST HUNDRED – Graham Thorpe
Sri Lanka v England, Third Test, Colombo, 2001
The innings in Colombo when we beat Sri Lanka was really tough.
I got a century and 32* and from a physical point of view it was
my hardest hundred and probably my best. Physically that was
shattering, the temperatures were hot and we had to win the
Test to win the series. There was a lot of shit going on during the
game; bad umpires, bad player behaviour and it became a bit of a
grudge match.
THE MOST FLUENT – Michael Vaughan
Australia v England, Fifth Test, Sydney, 2003
I was in great form on that tour – arguably the best of my life –
and I just went out there and teed off ! Nothing more scientific
than that. It was just one of those days when it didn’t matter
who was bowling at me, they were going. I just smashed it, and
kept smashing it to finish with 183.
THE JAMAICAN HEIST – Steve Harmison
West Indies v England, First Test, Jamaica, 2004
This was the individual highlight of my career. We had a small
lead on first innings and it looked like it would be a tight game.
It was one of those spells where I felt I could get a wicket
every ball. I conceded 12 runs in 12 overs and eight of those came
in boundaries. This is where it all started. After this series – and
the West Indies were a decent side at the time – we went on a
run where we were unstoppable, culminating in the Ashes win
over Australia. It was such a good time for English cricket. We
had a really good side that was well balanced in terms of youth
and experience. We still had Mark Butcher, Nasser Hussain and
Graham Thorpe in the team and they helped us through.
THE PERFECT DAY – Andrew Strauss
Australia v England, Fourth Test, Melbourne, 2010
Boxing Day at Melbourne will always go down as the best
day’s cricket I’ve ever played. To bowl them out of 98 and
then be 157-0 at stumps on the central day of the Australian
sporting calendar in front of 90,000 Aussies watching their
side get battered, that was an incredible day. Then lifting the
urn at Sydney was another great moment. All the way through
that tour, from the moment we arrived, we just felt there as
something special going on. The stars were aligned, things
seemed to be going our way, we played well, we were confident,
we were comfortable with each other in the dressing room in
Sydney thinking, ‘Can anything ever eclipse this?’
THE MAGNIFICENT SEVEN – Matthew Hoggard
South Africa v England, Fourth Test, Johannesburg, 2005
Taking 12 wickets in the game in Johannesburg to help England
secure a series victory over there was pretty special. I have
bowled better than that, the first innings I bowled like a shower of
shit! It’s one of those grounds where you can turn up and it seams
all over the shop. I played a couple of times there for Free State
and always bowled badly. In the first innings I thought I bowled
badly again, but I got 5-144 in about 50 overs. It was one of those
voodoo grounds, everyone’s got one, and you think, ‘Well, I won’t
do well there.’ But then in the second innings everything seemed
to go right, and when Jacques Kallis edged his first ball behind to
first slip, I thought it might be one of those days.
THE HERO – Matt Prior
New Zealand v England, Auckland, Third Test, 2013
As an individual that was my best day in an England shirt because
I was able to save the game for my mates. That was a very proud
moment. Ironically, I stood in the huddle at the beginning of the
day and said, ‘Days like today are when heroes are made.’ You
think back to Atherton and Russell at the Wanderers, these are
opportunities to stand up and make your country proud, and little
did I know that I would be the one at the end of the day with my
arms aloft in the air. That meant so much to all of us and I just
happened to be the lucky one who had my day. It’s
the picture I’ve got in my gym. When I was
going through my rehab, with the dream
to play for England again, that picture was
always my motivation. That moment, that
feeling, was what I always looked at because
I wanted it again. That’s why I was doing it.
Unfortunately, it wasn’t to be, but it will always
be there.
THE FINALE – Paul Collingwood
Australia v England, Fifth Test, Sydney, 2011
This match just topped everything off. Sydney is a great ground
and it was incredible to play my last Test there and go out on such
a high. It was a very emotional week. I remember looking up at
the English flags as we came out each morning knowing this was
going to be my last Test match. The players didn’t know at that
stage but Reg Dickason, our security officer, was a big factor in
me telling them on the fourth morning. I just wanted to go after
the match and say thanks very much but he said a lot of people
would want to celebrate my career for one last day. I thought
that was a good point and to get the reception that I did was
absolutely fantastic.
AOC BARMY ARMY | 13
PUSHING THE
BOUNDARIES
No one underestimates the security issues surrounding a
Pakistan tour, but the UAE will never have quite the same
allure, writes Paul Winslow.
According to Ian Botham, “Pakistan is the sort of country to send
your mother-in-law to.” But ask any Barmy Army member who
has been lucky enough to tour there, and you’ll get a different
opinion. It may not have the infrastructure of other cricket
destinations, it might be more of a challenge to get your hands on
a glass of alcohol and conditions are generally a little more basic,
but it’s a thrilling, intriguing and rewarding place to tour.
The welcome England supporters receive
from cricket fans and the general public
alike is hard to get your head around. In a
country that doesn’t benefit from much in
the way of tourism, an influx of white people
is something of a novelty and to be a Barmy
Army fan in Pakistan is to have a vague
idea of what it is to be a global superstar.
Questions are asked, photographs are taken
and it’s quite likely that on leaving a cricket
ground you’ll get followed by a mob of
people.
The cricket in Pakistan was rarely without
incident, whether it was Shahid Afridi taking
advantage of a gas canister exploding
to scuff up the wicket while everyone
was distracted, or Mike Gatting’s famous
argument with Shakoor Rana (to say nothing
of the diplomatic furore caused by Ian
Botham’s aforementioned mother-in-law
comment).
But cricket was put in the shade by the
events of March 3, 2009 when the Sri Lankan
team bus was attacked en route to the
Gaddafi Stadium in Lahore.
For Barmy Army members who had visited
the city it was all too easy to picture – this
took place on a roundabout most of us
traversed on foot or by taxi on our way to the
ground. Until a recent ODI tour by Zimbabwe
no international cricket was played in
Pakistan since that attack and while it was
heartening to see the game making tentative
steps towards re-entry, it’s unlikely we’ll see
England back there any time soon.
And so, for the second time, a small
contingent of hardened tour pros will make
its way to the United Arab Emirates in
October. It’s a surreal tour as modern stadia
built in a country with no cricketing pedigree
pay witness to Test cricket with only a
handful of people in situ. The sound of ball
hitting bat echoes around empty seats that
may never be filled. But, such is the strength
of England’s support, there will be fans who
see this as an opportunity
to expand their cricketing
horizons, whatever the
conditions, circumstances
or venue. So there will be
pockets of atmosphere,
but for those who have
toured Pakistan a return
in the future would be
welcome.
England v Pakistan fixtures
1st Test – Sheikh Zayed Stadium, Abu Dhabi, Oct 13-17
2nd Test – Dubai International Cricket Stadium, Oct 22-26
3rd Test – Sharjah Cricket Stadium, Nov 1-5
1st ODI – Sheikh Zayed Stadium, Abu Dhabi, Nov 11
2nd ODI – Sheikh Zayed Stadium, Abu Dhabi, Nov 13
3rd ODI – Sharjah Cricket Stadium, Nov 17
4th ODI – Dubai International Cricket Stadium, Nov 20
1st T20I – Dubai International Cricket Stadium, Nov 26
2nd T20I – Dubai International Cricket Stadium, Nov 27
3rd T20I – Sharjah Cricket Stadium, Nov 30
AOC BARMY ARMY | 15
It’s a tour where you can see real lions, watch three lions and drink Lion beer. A
country of close escapes, dodgy wins and a sense of perspective. The Barmy Army
are heading back to South Africa, writes Paul Winslow.
While there was a tour of South Africa in 1995/96 it was perhaps the
Millennium tour, when the Barmy Army had more solidly established
itself, that the love affair with South Africa began.
Those fans witness to day one at The Wanderers in ‘99 would have
needed every ounce of their renowned positivity as it famously began
with England losing four wickets for just two runs. They lost that Test,
drew the next, had South Africa following on in the third at Durban
only to concede 572-7 and draw again, before losing the fourth Test at
Newlands.
The fifth Test at Centurion gave the travelling fans something to
cheer as England won a rain-affected match after both teams forfeited
an innings, but looking back now the match-fixing connotations
surrounding that affair would probably taint any happy memories of
those who were there. Off the pitch this was the tour where Barmy
Army stalwart Vic Flowers made his bow.
The year of 2005 was one of the greatest for English cricket and it
wasn’t just the Ashes victory that brought smiles to the faces of the
Barmy Army. It began with England’s first series victory in South Africa
for 40 years.
The tour began well in Port Elizabeth where a couple of young lads
called Dale Steyn and AB de Villiers made their debuts. Steyn got more
centuries with the ball than AB did with the bat in that series… wonder
what happened to them? England chased down 145 to win for a 1-0
lead but in Durban found themselves in the Boxing Day do-do, bowled
out for 139 runs. That game would go on to become remembered as
the ‘Bouncebackability Test’ as England faced a 200-run deficit after
the first innings, scored 570-7 in the second and came within two
wickets and some bad light of a famous victory.
The truth is none of us should have cared. As this correspondent
took his seat after a morning flight from Johannesburg on Boxing Day,
I got chatting to a random guy in the seat next to me. Vague news
reached us of a tsunami that had affected Sri Lanka, among other
places, and it transpired that’s where he lived. Neither of us gave it
too much thought. It’s hard to believe now but 11 years ago people
generally kept their phones off while overseas, no one was on Twitter,
Facebook wasn’t ubiquitous.
The severity of the situation was picked up by some and money was
16 | ALL OUT CRICKET
raised for the victims on the final day of the Test, but for others there
was a cricketing bubble that was only later burst when the true nature
of that tragedy became apparent. The Barmy Army would go on to
raise money for victims in Sri Lanka, visit schools there, hear eyewitness
tales and be present when Galle was reopened for Test cricket in 2007.
Because of that, a sombre day for humanity would always be linked to
cricket for some of us.
It seems almost churlish to talk about the subsequent cricket but
England lost the next Test heavily at Cape Town before an inspired
Matthew Hoggard bowled England to a win in Johannesburg and a
rain-affected draw confirmed the series win. So many great memories,
but they all seem bittersweet now in a historical context.
Ah five-Test series… remember them? Aside from Ashes series they
seem to be a thing of the past and certainly by the time England toured
South Africa in 2009/10 the schedule was reduced to just four. Just to
rub salt in the wound one of the favourite venues, Port Elizabeth, was
the one to be scratched from the itinerary. Anyone who has ever been
to PE and Pretoria wouldn’t be hard pushed to choose a favourite.
If 2005 at Durban was the ‘Bouncebackability Test’ then the
2009/10 series was the ‘How-the-hell-did-we-get-away-with that
Tour’ as England were completely outplayed but came away with a 1-1
draw. English fans are accustomed to being put through the wringer;
the Cardiff Ashes nerve-shredder in 2009 and the
Auckland scrape in 2013
spring to mind. But to bat 96 overs and end up nine wickets
down one week and follow up a fortnight later by batting 141
overs for another draw, again nine down, was to challenge the
ticker of any fan. The fact these occurrences sandwiched an
England victory by an innings and 98 runs at Durban goes to
show it’s not just the current side who are unpredictable.
The England team had always had a soft spot for the
Barmy Army but the team at this time were perhaps the most
appreciative. As a result the post-Durban victory celebration will
live long in the memory of all those who were there as every
England player hung out of the windows of their changing room
with crowds gathered around going through the full repertoire.
Graeme Swann and Matt Prior have always been huge fans of
the Barmy Army and the first to join us for a beer and the rest
of this team were rarely far behind them.
Other enduring memories of that tour include the South
African and English fans mixing in disbelief at the drama
and tension that was unfolding before them at Centurion – a
real meeting of opposing fans. It turned out that wasn’t real
tension though as it was ramped up tenfold on a last day at
Cape Town, a day known among some as Brutal Thursday and
not just because of the consumption of a local delicacy called
Brutal Fruits.
Talking of consumption, Makhaya Ntini went into that series
on 99 Test appearances. To celebrate his 100th Test the kind
people at Castle Lager decided they would give everyone a
beer when he took his first wicket. I think the idea was that
everyone got a single voucher but the promo girls didn’t seem
that squeamish about handing them out.
We grabbed a handful each on day one before watching
South Africa bat all day. We grabbed some more on day two
and the only England wicket to fall went to Friedel de Wet. The
next day was wet of a different kind. Andrew Strauss added two
to his overnight score before being bowled by Ntini and that
gave us most of the day to make use of the copious amounts of
free beer vouchers we’d amassed by this stage.
The series ended up in heavy defeat at Johannesburg to give
South Africa a deserved share of the spoils, but there was a
happy ending for a few who managed to grab some playing kit
that was given away by players.
South Africa is not just about the cricket. Although it’s not
necessarily the safest destination on the cricketing calendar –
no one’s ever said a walking tour of Johannesburg is a good
idea on a day off – there are many reason to visit this wonderful
country. Sticking with the cricket, grounds don’t get much more
scenic than Newlands with Table Mountain towering behind
it – an epic setting for the greatest game. Cape Town itself
is a stunning city with the waterfront, Robben Island, Table
Mountain and wonderful coastline.
Safaris are always a preferred option for time between Tests,
but there’s also the opportunity to get your wildlife kicks by
seeing penguins on a beach or indulging in shark cage diving.
The Garden Route is a beautiful drive while the Stellenbosch
wine region attracts many to sample its delicious produce.
With all that and a history of dramatic and intense cricket to
be played, it’s easy to see why this is a favourite tour on the
calendar and we’re already excited about what the next one
might have in store.
Barmy Army runs organised tours to South Africa that can
be tailored to your needs whether you want to do a single Test
or all four. See www.barmyarmy.com or call 0845 8005 6848
for details.
England v South Africa fixtures
1st Test – Kingsmead, Durban, Dec 26-30
2nd Test – Newlands, Cape Town, Jan 2-6
3rd Test – New Wanderers Stadium, Johannesburg, Jan 14-18
4th Test – SuperSport Park, Centurion, Jan 22-26
1st ODI – Chevrolet Park, Bloemfontein, Feb 3
2nd ODI – St George’s Park, Port Elizabeth, Feb 6
3rd ODI – SuperSport Park, Centurion, Feb 9
4th ODI – New Wanderers Stadium, Johannesburg, Feb 12
5th ODI – Newlands, Cape Town, Feb 14
1st T20I – Newlands, Cape Town, Feb 19
2nd T20I – New Wanderers Stadium, Johannesburg, Feb 21
AOC BARMY ARMY | 17
Going for a song
Writing a new song and getting it to take off is a badge of honour for any BA member.
Principal songsmith Paul Winslow brings us a few that made the grade…
The Barmy Army Songbook, published in 2012, lists well over a
hundred songs that have, to varying levels of success, been belted
out at cricket grounds around the world.
The hardy perennial
It’s been around for 20 years but it shows no sign of losing its allure…
(to the tune of ‘Yellow Submarine’)
The number evolves at roughly the same rate as the English cricket
team as the songwriting community scratch their heads to make
the new arrivals feel welcome.
As Adrian Raffill said when interviewed for the Songbook: “We
can be in some of the best bars, the best restaurants, with the
best views in the some of the best locations around the world and
you’ll find us hunched around a table scribbling on fag packets or
napkins. It’s very, very sad.”
There are many songs that don’t make it further than a scrap of
paper or the back of said fag packet. Others take off to become
indelibly etched on the memories of players and fans alike on a
given tour. Here’s a smattering…
The standard
It’s Vic Flowers’ call to arms that offers everyone the chance to
sing, as you don’t need to know any words…
Jimmy: Everywhere we go
Crowd: Everywhere we go
The people want to know
Who we are
Where we come from
Shall we tell them
Who we are
Where we come from
We are the England
The Mighty Mighty England
We are the Army
The Barmy Barmy Army
Ali Cook’s Barmy Army
Etc Etc
18 | ALL OUT CRICKET
In the town where I was born
There lived a man who was a thief
And he told me of his life
Stealing bread and shagging sheep
So they put him in the nick
And then a magistrate he went to see
He said: ‘Put him on a ship, to the convict colony’
You all live in a convict colony
A convict colony, a convict colony
You all live in a convict colony
A convict colony, a convict colony
The surreal
What the last verse has to do with anything, we don’t know…
(to the tune of ‘Marching Through Georgia’)
I-oh, I-oh
We are the Barmy boys
I-oh, I-oh
We are the Barmy boys
We’re England’s famous cricket fans
We travel near and far
When we’re not singing
You’ll find us at the bar
(Repeat verse one)
I-oh, I-oh
You couldn’t fill a fridge
I-oh, I-oh
You couldn’t fill a fridge
Your mother’s wearing Tupperware
Your father’s wearing pants
We’re all going to a disco dance
The Deco Song
One for the skipper
(to the tune of ‘Lord of the Dance’)
(to the tune of ‘Give It Up’)
We sang in the morning at the start of the Test
We sang up to lunch then we went and had a rest
We came back from lunch then we sang till tea
It’s fun being in the Barmy Army
You flew out to India
When your country needed you
Century on debut, what a find
Na na na na na na na na na
Ali Ali Cook, Ali Cook, Ali Ali Cook
Na na na na na na na na na
Matt Prior’s biggest fan, Deco, never misses a tour and this song,
which he brought to the 2008 New Zealand trip, remains a
favourite when we can get him to sing it…
(Chorus)
Sing sing wherever you may be
We are the famous Barmy Army
And we’ll cheer England on wherever they may be
And we’ll sing them on to another victory
Now an Ashes summer makes us all so proud
It’s fun watching England hit the convicts round the ground
We’ll sing for our batsmen and our bowlers too
Cause they make all our dreams come true
(Repeat Chorus)
Now our ticket prices don’t seem to be fair
But look at our faces, do you think we even care?
We’ve come in our numbers and were gonna see
Another famous Ashes victory
He still wouldn’t look out of place in a church choir, but Cook has
been an international cricketer for nine years and this was written
after his first Test so it’s had a bit of airing over the years…
The complete nonsense
Even the songwriter (I’ll admit it, it was me) thought this wasn’t all
that when first concocted but it’s one of the defining songs of the
2008 New Zealand tour…
(to the tune of ‘You Are My Sunshine’)
We’ve got Tim Ambrose
Sounds like Ambrosia
They make good custard
Comes in a tin
They make Creamed Rice too
That’s not important
Just as long as England win
Location, location, location
(Repeat Chorus)
At the end of this song, I hope the message is clear
We are the fans that will always come and cheer
So thanks everybody for singing with me
‘Cos we’re all part of the Barmy Army
(Repeat Chorus)
The back-to-bite-you
During England’s successful 2010-11 Ashes tour this rang
out as England fans took over Aussie stadia and
Johnson’s game went to pot. Safe to say he got his
own back...*
He bowls to the left
He bowls to the right
That Mitchell Johnson
His bowling is shite
Sometimes it’s where you play and not who you are that can define
a song… Tim Bresnan made his debut in Bangladesh…
(to the tune of ‘Those Were The Days’)
We’ve had a garlic naan
We’ve had a butter naan
We’ve had a plain, we’ve had a keema too
But our favourite naan, is Tim Bresnan
All because he hates the convicts too
Never let them forget
Rumour has it Shaun Pollock used to sing this to himself bowling
in the nets. We hope it’s true but he never lived his miscalculation
down…
(to the tune of ‘Da Do Ron Ron’)
My name is Shaun Pollock and I cannot count
One more run run, one more run
I miscalculated and we got knocked out
One more run run, one more run
Oh I had a panic attack
Oh and I got the sack
Oh we needed one more run
One more run run, one more run
*Events at Edgbaston after the first draft of this piece as written
suggests the song is not dead yet and can still have an effect.
AOC BARMY ARMY | 19
You r
Ar m y
N e e d s
Join Up And Be Heard
Enlist with the Barmy Army today as a first-class member
and show your support for the England cricket team
For just £25 per year
first-class BA members receive all this loveliness:
Your own personalized membership card
A copy of Everywhere We Went – our Barmy Army book
An exclusive subscription offer to
with a saving of £25
Discounts to the BA online shop
Priority Access to England tickets (UK)
Offers from official BA partners
A fortnightly newsletter
Invites to Barmy Army events
Go to
www.barmyarmy
.com
to find
out mo
re!
SANGA’S DIARY
‘It definitely reacts very, very differently to the red ball… it throws up a
huge number of questions and theories about where the game is going’
Mitchell Starc has reservations about the pink ball to be used in the
first day/night Test between Australia and New Zealand in November
SANGA’S
DIARY
Hotfooting it from London to Galle and back again,
popping over to Wimbledon and scoring runs by the
bucketful, it’s just another month for our intrepid hero…
JUNE 22
Back in Sri Lanka for two Tests against Pakistan, and mightily disappointed to lose
the first one here at Galle, but there were some very heartening aspects to come
out of it, with Kaushal Silva making his second Test century. As for the fanfare
around my retirement, it’s all been quite low-key so far. I think it might be a bit
more intense when India get here next month…
JUNE 30
Great to see the boys level the series at Colombo. Tharindu Kaushal in particular
was outstanding. He gets a lot of turn, has real variety and is a good, solid
cricketer. Herath is still our No.1 spinner, and he should be playing as the main man
for the next couple of years, but Kaushal has a chance to learn. And in terms of
fast bowlers, we have Dushmantha Chameera – who came in and bowled 150kph
here with great pace and control, which is rare at a young age. It wasn’t an easy
chase but Angelo Mathews took us home to set it up nicely for the decider. I’ll be
heading back to Surrey before that one, but I’ll be back home in August to face
India in the last Tests of my career.
JULY 1
It’s a transitional time for Sri Lanka cricket, which makes it all the more important
that we back these young players and let them find their own way. Sometimes we
make the mistake of building a coaching environment where players aren’t able
to make their own choices in the middle. Players should get all the support they
need but then be responsible for what they do in the game situation. We need
that in Sri Lanka. A bit of patience, love and support, and then give them a chance
to blossom. Thankfully the Sri Lankan public offers genuine support. It’s not just
about the player, but about the team. So even without me and Mahela, they will
be supported. This young team needs that and I know they will get that.
At Wimbledon hobnobbing with
the great and the Boycs
22 | ALL
CRICKET 2015
20
AOCOUT
| SEPTEMBER
936
The number of points achieved by Steve
Smith in the ICC batting ratings following
the second Test at Lord’s – the 10thhighest of all time
MCC WORLD CRICKET
COMMITTEE
The MCC World Cricket Committee, of which Sangakkara is a member,
met at Lord’s on July 13-14. Their official conclusions were as follows:
CRICKET SHOULD BE AN OLYMPIC SPORT
‘The Olympics is a fundamental opportunity for cricket – in both the
men’s and women’s game – and with a global reach, such a presence
would expose the game positively to new markets.’
JULY 12
First blood to England then. They clearly made
better use of that Cardiff wicket than the Aussies.
They were 30-odd for three, but with Joe Root
coming in, the innings changed. It would have been
easy for him to be tentative after the chance he
gave to Brad Haddin second ball, but the way he
took the Australian attack on, and the intensity he
showed throughout his innings, was great. He’s
without a doubt one of the best batsmen in world
cricket right now. I thought Moeen Ali was also
excellent. It’s time to stop talking about whether or
not Moeen is a genuine spinner. He’s England’s best
spinner, and he’s proved that.
THE ICC WORLD CUP SHOULD BE A 12-TEAM TOURNAMENT
‘The organisation of a 10-team ICC Cricket World Cup for 2019 and
2023 is a retrograde step that damages the potential for growth in
cricket’s developing nations.’
COMPREHENSIVE SURVEY REQUIRED TO UNDERSTAND WHY SOME
ATTENDANCES ARE DWINDLING
‘The committee urged the ICC to conduct a comprehensive survey
as to why people are not watching Tests in certain countries, and to
consider subsidising tickets in these countries to encourage more
people to come into the ground.’
“
TEST CRICKET NEEDS A BOOST BUT FOUR-DAY MATCHES ARE NOT
THE ANSWER
IT’S A TRANSITIONAL TIME FOR SRI
LANKA CRICKET, WHICH MAKES IT ALL
THE MORE IMPORTANT THAT WE BACK
THESE YOUNG PLAYERS AND LET THEM
FIND THEIR OWN WAY
JULY 14
The MCC World Cricket Committee met at Lord’s today. I couldn’t
make it to the meeting as we were in the middle of the Kent
match, but I had the opportunity to put forward ideas before the
meet. With Mike Brearley in charge, and Rahul Dravid, Sourav
Ganguly and Ricky Ponting being a part of it, it’s a great mix
of people, all of whom have the best for cricket at heart, and
we carry genuine weight. The committee doesn’t necessarily
want power; but it does need to know that the suggestions we
make are taken seriously. A lot of thought, love and passion is
behind the suggestions. The future of Test cricket is obviously an
ongoing matter of debate. Day/night cricket is coming between
Australia and New Zealand this winter and we should try to see
how it goes. There have been lots of suggestions, but we need to
find a balance between improving Test cricket, and yet retaining
all the things that make it special. Day/night cricket is going to be
different, and we need to see how that goes before we judge it.
JULY 16
A really good win against Kent in the Championship keeps our
promotion push alive. For me, it was my first chance to see
Arun Harinath bat, and he’s mightily impressive. He made two
Championship hundreds when I was away [in the match against
Glamorgan] and from what I’ve seen so far I think he’s a fantastic
player. I watched him walk out to the middle and we had 22 overs
to bat; Arun walked in and it was a good, old-fashioned Sri Lankan
brand of cricket, where he just took the attack to the bowlers. He
made 70-odd in the end, and he batted with a lot of freedom, but
it wasn’t loose. He defended and attacked the ball exceptionally
– I didn’t expect him to go and bat like that. And he had a lot of
options against spin, both in strike rotation and aggression. It’s a
shame that he’s here in England! I was thinking in my mind what
an opportunity it would be for Sri Lanka if he was over there and
playing. He is a lovely boy too. Intelligent and articulate.
ABOVE:
The ‘mightily
impressive’
Arun Harinath:
due a tap-up
from a certain
Sri Lankan
cricketer?
‘The committee is not in favour of the introduction of four-day Test
matches. With the international schedule largely confirmed until 2019,
the ICC has an opportunity in the coming months to debate and decide
what the context of international cricket looks like post 2019. A World
Test League should be a major part of that debate, so that there would
be something at stake for every future Test series.’
JULY 17
The other big story from the Kent match was the Curran brothers
sharing the new ball. Both brothers are fantastic. Tom’s workload
has been really high this season and he’s still come in with a smile.
You need that in county cricket as a fast bowler. He has a great
attitude, and he’s able to laugh things off and approach everything
with a smile. That’s really helped us. But little Sam, at 17, has been
a revelation. Eight wickets in the match! Also, he’s a left-armer,
which is a natural advantage. He’s very smart in the way he bowls
and the way he uses swing, his bouncer and everything else. He’s
done great for us in T20s and the four-day stuff and I really think
that he’s a phenomenal all-round cricketer at such a young age.
I’m just waiting to see what he’ll do in a few years. It’s a fairytale
story to have the two brothers opening the bowling.
JULY 20
Australia did what they do best at Lord’s. They got ahead early and
ran with it. Steve Smith was outstanding, but England stuck to just one
plan, the ‘corridor plan’ of bowling outside off stump to a packed offside field. You need more options against a player as good as Smith.
India had relative success against him by bowling a straighter line and
having more catchers on the leg-side, even getting a leg-slip in there
at times. The point is that you have to change things up as the innings
progresses, you can’t be static against the really top players. There’s
been lots of talk about the pitch at Lord’s but at the end of the day
Australia are capable of taking 20 wickets on any surface. The bottom
line is that England will have to do the same to stand a chance of
winning the series. They need to forget what happened at Lord’s and
remember it’s still just 1-1. Anything can yet happen.
Kumar Sangakkara’s diary is in
association with Lycamobile
AOC BARMY ARMY
| 23
www.alloutcricket.com
| AOC
| 21
“Let the experts plan your next pre-season tour”
Ashley
Giles LCCC
Sri Lanka definitely ticked all our boxes as a touring
destination; the hospitality was impeccable, the facilities excellent throughout, the cricket challenging and the
scenery breathtaking. Overall, superb value for money I’m certain Lancashire CCC will return before too long.
Warren
Hegg LCCC
LycaflySport clearly know the travel business inside out, and everything went
like clockwork as a result. Dan and his team are to be commended for their
energy, commitment and unfailing good humour in ensuring that Lancashire
CC’s first tour to Sri Lanka was a great success.
Walbrook Building, 195 Marsh Wall London E14 9SG T: 0207 132 9600 | E: sportstravel@Lycafly.com
in a ssociation w ith
GOLDEN
SUMMERS
In this edition...
26
28
30
32
It’s 1949 and Walter
Hadlee’s emerging
Kiwis are in town
Warne and
Buchanan: no
love lost
Meet Dudley
Nourse, burly South
African biffer
Things we miss:
watching cricket on
the Beeb
Tales and treasures from cricket’s glorious past
When Bobby Peel got
drunk at a crucial stage
of the first Test at the
SCG, Stoddy simply
sobered him up under
the shower. His six
wickets then got England
home by 10 runs
David Frith on Andrew
Stoddart, miserably
overlooked in the 100
years since his death
AOC BARMY ARMY
| 25
www.alloutcricket.com
| AOC
| 83
GOLDEN
SUMMERS
MY GOLDEN SUMMER
1949
New Zealand’s performances on
the 1949 tour of England signalled
the end of three-day Test
matches and provided comfort
for Rod Edmond during the years
of defeats that were to follow.
D
uring my childhood in New Zealand
in the early 1950s the national cricket
team always lost. The nadir was
Eden Park, Auckland in 1955 when
New Zealand were dismissed for 26,
a world-record low to this day. The horror of
that collapse stays with me. For a nine-yearold it was almost too much to bear.
My comfort during these torrid years
was a book about the 1949 New Zealand
tour of England, Alan Mitchell’s Cricket
Companions. I read it over and over,
thrilling to the run-scoring feats of the two
finest left-handers New Zealand has ever
produced, Bert Sutcliffe (2,627 tour runs,
average 59.70; 423 runs in the four Tests,
average 60.42) and Martin Donnelly (2,287
tour runs; average 61.81, 462 in the Tests,
average 77).
In those days a tour was a tour, not a visit.
The team of only 15 players came by ship,
arrived in April, left in September, and
played 33 first-class matches as well as
four Tests. Alan Mitchell travelled with the
team, shared their accommodation, and his
Bert Sutcliffe
scored 2,627
runs on the tour
The New Zealand touring party
of ‘49 who played 33 first-class
matches and received daily
expenses of 30 shillings
THE MIDDLESEX PLAYERS FOR THE FIRST TEST AT
LEEDS ARRIVED AT 2AM ON THE MORNING OF THE
FIRST DAY HAVING COME HOTFOOT FROM A COUNTY
MATCH THAT HAD FINISHED THAT EVENING, A
LONG-AGO VERSION OF FLYING IN FROM THE IPL
book conveyed the feel of this exhausting
itinerary, the camaraderie especially but
also the strain. I was gripped by his account
of the captain Walter Hadlee fainting in
the dressing room after a hectic run-chase
against Derbyshire under a “burning sun”.
Re-reading the book almost 60 years
on, the consolation and the pride it offered
returns as fresh as ever. Every page is
familiar. But the tour it describes would be
totally unfamiliar to anyone accustomed
to seeing half a visiting team fly in from the
IPL a couple of days before the first Test,
as Brendon McCullum’s did this year. The
1949ers were all amateurs: Hadlee was an
accountant, Harry Cave a sheep farmer, CC
Burke worked in the Post and Telegraph
Department. Their cricket at home was
limited to Saturday club matches and three
three-day first-class fixtures each season.
They enjoyed daily expenses of £1, raised to
30 shillings during the tour.
Test matches on the tour were limited to
three days, something the team resented.
It was believed they wouldn’t be good
enough for anything more, and the counties
objected to losing valuable players from
Championship matches for any longer than
necessary. County cricket had an influence
then that has long gone. The Middlesex
players for the first Test at Leeds – Mann
the English captain, Compton, Edrich and
Young – arrived at 2am on the morning
of the first day having come hotfoot from
a county match that had finished that
evening, a long-ago version of flying in from
the IPL.
The three-day Tests resulted in four
draws, neither side having the bowling
to dismiss strong batting line-ups twice.
As draw followed draw England included
eight bowlers for the final Test at the Oval
but with the same result. Hadlee’s team
ensured that three-day Tests would never
be repeated, although the performance of
the next New Zealand team to visit, in 1958,
provided grounds for bringing them back.
Mitchell’s ‘cricket companions’ were
indeed just that for my childhood self.
There was pleasure and relief in reading
of a New Zealand team that didn’t lose a
Test. In fact the only loss on the whole tour,
remarkable on the face of it, was to Oxford
University. But university cricket was
different in those days. Oxford had several
internationals, and New Zealand were
caught on a sticky wicket. I hated reading
the chapter that Mitchell gave to this
GET THE LOOK
WALTER HADLEE
1949
John Reid lit up
the Oval with a
swashbuckling 93
defeat. But the players were the thing.
I most identified with the youngest
member of the team, 20-year-old John
Reid, allrounder par excellence. A middleorder batsman, medium-fast seamer
and brilliant fielder, it was his ability as
reserve wicketkeeper that had clinched
his selection for the tour. Reid went on
to captain New Zealand’s first-ever Test
victory, against the West Indies in 1956,
and to become probably the country’s
finest-ever allrounder. As a student in
Wellington in the mid-1960s I used to play
at his squash club across the road from the
university and inwardly genuflect as he
signed me in. But in 1949 he was work-inprogress and only played in the last two
Tests. Mitchell’s account of my hero’s 93 at
the Oval was my favourite passage.
It was the left-handers, Sutcliffe and
Donnelly, however, who most inspired the
dogged young left-hander I was becoming.
Sutcliffe’s tour aggregate remains second
only to Bradman. He was a natural – lithe,
graceful, with exquisite timing in front of
the wicket. Cover drives flowed from his bat
like a swift-moving river. He was another
of the outstanding fielders in the team
and a useful left-arm spinner. Years later,
when he was 40 and I was 17, I faced him in
a club match in Hamilton, too awed to do
anything but defend my wicket.
But the player who haunted my
imagination, who I was never to see let
alone play against, was Martin Donnelly.
His innings of 206 at Lord’s that summer
remains the only double-century by a New
Zealander in a Test in England, joining
centuries he also made at Lord’s for the
Dominions against England, Oxford
against Cambridge, and Gentleman versus
Players. While at Oxford he also played
rugby for England. And to cap it all, he was
born in Ngaruawahia, just a few miles down
the road from my home in Hamilton.
And yet he was hardly seen in New
Zealand. Only 13 of his 131 first-class
matches were played at home, and none of
his seven Tests. He had come to England
with the 1937 team as a 19-year-old after
only one first-class match. After war
service as a tank commander in North
Africa and Italy he went on to Oxford from
where he joined the 1949 tour.
Having relished Mitchell’s account of
Donnelly’s wonderful summer, the saddest
moment of Cricket Companions for me was
the description of him standing, “a lonely
figure on the wharf at Tilbury”, when the
Rangitata left for home at the end of the tour.
This was Donnelly’s farewell to New Zealand
cricket as well as to his cricket companions.
He retired almost immediately and went to
live in Australia where he had a successful
business career. Donnelly had a twin
brother, Maurice, who died as a baby in the
Spanish flu epidemic in 1918. Looking back
I wonder if there might have been Donnellys
to join those other distinguished brothers –
Hadlees, Crowes, Bracewells, McCullums –
who have graced New Zealand cricket.
And so my golden summer (not a single
day was lost through rain) is one that I
know only through the bliss of a genre now
vanished – the book of the tour. Today, in
2015, after a series short on the number
of Tests rather than days, in which New
Zealand’s style of cricket was widely
praised, I leave the last word on the 1949
tour to Alan Mitchell:
“Both teams demonstrated that Tests
can be played in an excellent spirit, without
incidents, and that though the shadow of
national prestige may lie heavily over them,
these matches can provide a great deal of
fun both for players and spectators.”
JAUNTY HAT!
a tilt to non-conformity
ENORMOUS ICEWHITE PADS!
tidy pads, tidy mind
SCHOLARLY SPECS!
for the studious
skipper
ROLLED UP SLEEVES!
ready for runmaking
ELEVATED
WAISTLINE!
keeping things
compact
AOC BARMY ARMY
www.alloutcricket.com
| AOC| 27
| 85
V
GOLDEN
SUMMERS
RIVALRIES
BUCHANAN
V WARNE
What could the coach and star
player of international cricket’s most
successful ever side find to argue
about? Plenty, writes Jo Harman.
I
f you’ve heard Shane Warne
commentate on the Ashes this
summer – or in fact if you’ve heard
Shane Warne talk, ever – you’ll know
that he loves a hobby horse. Be it
Cook’s boring captaincy, Beefy’s beery
BBQs, Clarke’s funky fields, crap
nicknames with convoluted backstories or
his latest poker comp; in Warnie’s world, a
point’s not worth making unless you make
it a dozen times.
That’s all very well when you’re retired
and spouting off from the comms box but
when you’re still playing and the hobby
horse in question is the pointlessness of the
existence of your coach, things start to get
a little bit awkward.
Shane Warne and John Buchanan
were never going to get on, diametrically
opposed as they were in almost every sense.
A former university lecturer with just
seven fi rst-class appearances to his name,
Buchanan was appointed as Australia’s
coach in 1999 having led Queensland to
their fi rst Sheffield Shield title in 1994/95.
He set about introducing a whole new
coaching philosophy to the Australian
dressing room and while captain Steve
Waugh and later Ricky Ponting bought into
it, Warne did not.
Data analysis and fitness were two of
the central tenets of the new regime and
Warne just couldn’t see the point. For
Warne, a lager-guzzling larrikin whose
phenomenal natural talent made his rise
to super-stardom inevitable, these were
unnecessary complications. Cricket had
always been about having a laugh, gobbing
off at a batsman, getting him out and then
sinking a cold one. But for Buchanan, who’d
worked his way up to the top coaching job
28 | ALL
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Warne loads his kit bag as
Buchanan watches on
AFTER A BIT I JUST
TURNED TO THE COACH
AND SAID: ‘I’M WEAK AS
P**S, I HATE YOUR GUTS
AND I WANT TO GO HOME.
YOU’RE A D***HEAD’
WARNE
in Australia despite having no playing
career to speak of, they were absolutely
integral to success.
Coaching to Buchanan meant more than
batting, bowling and fielding; it meant
broadening the horizons of his players
and developing them as human beings. He
encouraged his players to deliver lectures
and recite poetry in the dressing room
to build self-confidence, with subjects
ranging from Hulk Hogan to the Bee Gees.
The English press dubbed Buchanan the
‘Wacky Professor’ after a team-briefing
document was leaked during the 2001
Ashes that drew on the teachings of fifth
Century Chinese warlord Sun Tzu. Warne
may or may not have used his copy as
toilet paper.
SHANE WARNE
Tests: 145
Wins: 92
Draws: 27
Losses: 26
Win percentage: 63.4
IT WOULD SEEM AT TIMES
HE DOES NOT PUT THE SAME
THOUGHT INTO THESE
COMMENTS AS HE WOULD
IN EXTRACTING BATSMEN
FROM THE CREASE
BUCHANAN
Buchanan and Ponting had a
strong relationship
Other wacky idiosyncrasies included
encouraging his players to practise
batting and fielding with their eyes shut,
announcing his intention to develop a
new breed of ambidextrous cricketers
in time for the 2007 World Cup, pushing
notes addressed to his own players under
the hotel room doors of opponents and a
multiple-captain theory during his stint
with Kolkata Knight Riders which didn’t
go down too well with incumbent skipper
Sourav Ganguly. “Tomorrow I can also ask
for four coaches,” quipped Ganguly.
Best of all, there was his decision to
hold vocabulary lessons during the 2005
Ashes, the intention being to encourage his
players to use a list of polysyllabic words in
everyday sentences. If he was trying to wind
Warne up, he was doing a damn fine job of it.
B
JOHN BUCHANAN
Tests (as Australia coach): 91
Wins: 70
Draws: 11
Losses: 10
Win percentage: 77
uchanan lit the touch paper during
Australia’s 2000/01 tour of India,
criticising Warne’s fitness after the
second Test defeat at Kolkata. “It’s no secret
that Warnie’s probably not one of the fittest
characters running around in world cricket,”
he said. Hardly revelatory but it was enough
to get the leggie’s gander up. Buchanan
would later express regret at his comment
but for Warne there was no going back.
The feud escalated when Warne was forced
to cut short his season with Hampshire in
2006 for a pre-Ashes military-style camp and
described a programme that appeared to be
constructed out of his very worst nightmares.
“Running up and down with water cans for
five or six hours, pushing cars, sleeping in a
sleeping bag with no tent, no mattress, out in
the middle of nowhere. Orienteering through
the middle of the night without a compass.
There were 6ft kangaroos out there. [The
coaches] were hoping we’d confront one of
them – but we didn’t actually see one.”
The bad-blood started to coagulate when
Warne was allegedly overheard at a charity
do saying: “These boot camps are a big waste
of time… after a bit I just turned to the coach
and said: ‘I’m weak as piss, I hate your guts
and I want to go home. You’re a dickhead’.”
Buchanan’s methods had incensed
Warne but they got incomparable results.
Under his stewardship between 1999
and 2007 Australia won 26 Tests series,
drew two and lost two, winning three
consecutive World Cups to boot. In the
years that followed Warne wouldn’t miss
an opportunity to talk down Buchanan’s
role in their success – “the coach is
something you travel in to get to the game”
etc – but Waugh and Ponting were quick to
point out how pivotal he was.
Buchanan eventually stepped down after
the 2007 World Cup win but absence did not
Michael Clarke on the 2006
military-style boot camp,
described by Warne as a
waste of time
make Warne’s heart grow fonder. Later that
year Warne launched his most scathing
attack yet. “I don’t think he has made one
good point in a long time, actually,” he told
Sydney’s Daily Telegraph. “Everything
that I have read that he says, he is living in
pixieland. It just shows what us players had
to put up with. We had to listen to his verbal
diarrhoea all the time. He is just a goose and
has no idea and lacks common sense, and
you can put all that in there.”
When Buchanan was given a role
coaching England’s youngsters ahead of
the 2009 Ashes, Warne couldn’t resist
ruffl ing the goose’s feathers once again.
“I think that’s a great move because
that means we’ve got more of a chance.
Hopefully Buck [Buchanan] will be doing
his stuff and he’ll be working and doing all
his things and hopefully over-complicating
things. I reckon it gives our chances a big
boost and makes our blokes more hungry.”
For his part, Buchanan remained quietly
puzzled by Warne’s outbursts. He rarely
acknowledged the feud in the media but
said in his 2009 book The Future of Cricket:
“Since Shane and I left the Australian
cricket team his critical views about my
role have continued. It’s disappointing
coming from someone like Shane who, on
the field, has been a player and a person who
has changed the face of the game.
“It is puzzling that a person of his stature
in cricket, someone with iconic status,
would continue to criticise me. It would
seem at times he does not put the same
thought into these comments as he would
in extracting batsmen from the crease.”
In 2013, Mike Hussey floated an
intriguing theory about the WarneBuchanan relationship. “I think the way
John spoke to and treated and tried to
motivate Shane was genius. He almost
tried to get into an argument with him or
challenge him with things that were a little
bit leftfield. So Shane would say, ‘John,
you’re dribbling rubbish. I’ll show you how
to do it’, and he’d go out there and do it. In
my mind that’s absolutely genius coaching.”
If Hussey’s theory is correct, then
Buchanan is even sharper – and even
wackier – than anyone gave him credit for.
AOC BARMY ARMY
| 29
www.alloutcricket.com
| AOC
| 87
GOLDEN
SUMMERS
THE
GREATEST
ASHES
It might be 10 years since 2005, but
it’s 120 years since the first great
Ashes battle – a series that was also
led by a true hero of English sport,
writes David Frith.
I
t was the first great Ashes series.
There have been a couple since to
match it, but England’s triumph in
Australia in 1894/95 elevated AngloAustralian competition to a peak that
has simply been sustained as the years
have passed. Even Queen Victoria
took an interest in the scores as they came
through via the new cable service.
England’s skipper was Andrew Ernest
‘Drewy’ Stoddart, widely known as
‘Stoddy’, miserably overlooked in the 100
years since his death. Having already led
his country bravely and thrillingly on
the rugby field, and in Australian Rules
football matches in Melbourne in 1888,
he was the first and still the only man to
captain England in three sports.
Beloved by cricket followers in both
countries, Stoddart put an astounding
number of landmark entries into cricket’s
story. His 485 for Hampstead in a club
match in 1886 was for years the highest
score in any cricket game. In 1893 at Lord’s
he became the first captain to declare
a Test innings closed. It was also at his
home ground at Lord’s that season that he
became the first batsman since way back
in 1817 to score twin centuries in a match
AE Stoddart leads
the England team
out at Lord’s
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Stod: ‘Greek god’
THEY WERE LEISURELY TIMES. BETWEEN TESTS THE
ENGLISHMEN ‘WENT BUSH’, NEVER SHORT OF A HAMPER
OF BOOZE, AND SHOOTING ANYTHING THAT MOVED
there. That same summer, for Middlesex
against Notts, he also became the first
batsman to reach three figures before lunch
on the opening day of a county match.
And, on the ultimate stage, in this
1894/95 Ashes series he was the first
England captain to put the opposition
in in a Test. It was also a match in which
England became the only side in the entire
first century of Test cricket to win after
having followed on. Stoddart then, at
Melbourne, stroked 173, the highest score
by an England captain in Australia for
the next 80 years. (Mike Denness’ 188 in
1974/75 was against a weakened attack.)
How could such a champion have been
airbrushed during the years that followed?
It might have had something to do with
his suicide in 1915, probably seen by some
as shameful. Well might the centenaries
of the deaths of WG Grace and Victor
Trumper be noted this year, but Stoddy
warrants a place on that same pedestal.
He took 12 players with him to Australia
in 1894/95, nine in the party six footers or
more. There were no support staff. When
Bobby Peel got drunk at a crucial stage of the
first Test at the SCG, Stoddy simply sobered
him up under the shower. His six wickets on
a rain-wrecked surface then got England
home by 10 runs – this after Australia had
run up 586 in the first innings.
They were leisurely times. Between
Tests the Englishmen ‘went bush’, never
short of a hamper of booze, and shooting
anything that moved. Bill Lockwood had a
skinful before coming close to drowning or
being taken by sharks in Sydney Harbour.
Stoddart’s men went two-up at
Melbourne, thanks largely to his 173 – “the
century of my career” he later stated. Then
the series turned. In stupendous Adelaide
heat England folded against the roughand-ready new boy Albert Trott (38 and 72,
both not out, and 8-43 – has there ever been
a debut to match that?). If Stoddy had one
nice memory from this calamitous match
it might have been the cry of a female
spectator: “Here’s that dear Mr Stoddart!”
(AOC would be keen to hear of any calls
this summer along the lines of “Here’s that
dear Mr Warner!”)
So England now led 2-1 with two to play. But
Australia levelled at Sydney, a match wrecked by rain
on the unprotected pitch, England spilling catches,
and all over in two days of play, leaving Stoddy to
lament: “It’s the worst wicket I’ve ever seen, absolutely
the worst. And not only is it the worst I’ve seen but it’s
miles the worst!” Before the pitch was ruined, little
Harry Graham had made history for Australia by
scoring a century in his fi rst Test at home to go with
the hundred he’d made on debut at Lord’s in 1893.
That’s still unmatched.
The decider, at the MCG almost a month later, was
a cracking Test match. Archie MacLaren’s 120 kept
England in the contest, but they were eventually set a
stiff 297 to win, ending the fourth day one down for 28.
When Stoddart was lbw fi rst thing next day England’s
hopes seemed shattered. Enter JT Brown of Yorkshire
to play one of the most stupendous knocks ever to
swing an Ashes Test.
Someone played Rule Britannia on a tin whistle
while Jack Brown swung his bat at everything. His
fi fty came in 28 minutes (still an Ashes record: he
reckoned it took him only 27), and with Lancashire’s
Albert Ward providing solid support, they turned the
match against helpless Australian bowling. And all
the while spectators played their flutes, and the band
played Daisy Bell and Sweet Marie.
Onward charged Brown, to rapturous applause from
the immigrants in the MCG crowd, on to his century,
cutting and pulling manically, to 140, when he was
caught. His stand with Ward was worth 210 – a new
overall Test record – in only 145 minutes. England
were almost home.
They did it: 298 in only 215 minutes off 88 six-ball
overs: stats worth pondering. The Ashes had been
won in a sensational series, the like of which would
not come along until 2005. And the skipper who
steered England through that series? “A courteous
gentleman,” wrote MacLaren, “his delight over the
success of any member of his side was beautiful to
behold. His kindness to me was such that I always
felt I could never do enough to make myself worthy
of his affection.”
Drewy Stoddart, who shot himself on April 3,
1915, 100 years ago, England’s favourite and fi nest
sportsman, and not even a memorial plaque or
gravestone for him a century later.
Adapted from ‘Stoddy’ – England’s Finest
Sportsman by David Frith, recently
published by Von Krumm.
NEXT PLAYER
IN
DUDLEY
NOURSE
NATAL
AGE: 24
ROLE: Right-hand middleorder bat
WHO THE DICKENS?
Son of Dave Nourse, the ‘Grand
Old Man of South African
Cricket’ who played 45 Tests
between 1902 and 1924 and
is still playing professional
cricket at the age of 56, Dudley
is carving out a fine career in
his own right. An aggressive
batsman with muscular
forearms and the shoulders
of a rugby loose-forward, the
Durban-born youngster made
his Test debut this summer as
part of a South African side
that secured a first-ever series
win in England. He scored his
maiden Test half-century, an
unbeaten 53, in the draw at
Old Trafford.
RIPPING YARNS?
Curiously, Dudley’s name
was given to him after a
request by the Earl of Dudley,
governor of South Australia,
when his father made 211 in
a state match at Adelaide
shortly before receiving a
cable announcing his son’s
birth. Despite his heritage,
Nourse is a self-taught
cricketer with a technique
developed on the streets and
park strips of Durban. In fact,
Nourse Sr didn’t see his son
bat until the age of 22, when
the two were on opposing
sides in a state fixture. Dudley
made 105, including runs of
his father’s bowling.
SPIFFING TIMES?
While Nourse struggled for runs
in this summer’s Test series
– 157 at 26 – he displayed his
class in the tour fixtures, hitting
a pair of hundreds against
Surrey before an innings of
148 against Oxford University
in his next match. A careerbest, unbeaten 160 against
Warwickshire helped him to a
tally of 1,681 runs on the tour,
second only to Eric Rowan.
STICKY WICKETS?
South Africa came within a
hair’s breadth of losing one
of its brightest cricketing
talents when, at the age of
14, Nourse was set to depart
his homeland and start a new
life in Australia. Were it not
for his mother falling ill and
the journey being cancelled,
Nourse would more than likely
be turning out for Australia
in the upcoming Test series
against South Africa, rather
than the country of his birth.
FINAL UTTERANCE:
“A Nourse, a Nourse, my
kingdom for a Nourse,”
declared England selector
Plum Warner after the South
African struck three centuries
in as many innings this
summer.
(From the AOC archive, September
issue, 1935)
AOC BARMY ARMY | 31
IT’S A NUMBERS GAME
Rangy Aussie seamer Bill Johnston managed
barely 1,100 career runs at an average a touch
under 13. Surprising then that he topped
the batting averages during Australia’s tour
of England in 1953. Not out 16 times, there
were suggestions that fellow members of
the bowlers’ union in the opposition were
complicit, with Alec Bedser reportedly
bowling wide of Johnston’s off-stump in
the final match of the tour and advising the
tail-ender to leave well alone. “Class always
tells,” said Johnston when asked to explain his
rocketing average.
102
THINGS WE MISS
ABOUT CRICKET...
BBC TV
WORDS: PHIL WALKER
W
e miss Tony Lewis. We miss the
eyebrows of Tony Lewis. The
sprightly, probing, Robin Day-like,
‘If I may say so’ eyebrows of Tony
Lewis. Of Tony Lewis, we miss the asides
and the wryness. We miss Tony’s slow,
drawn exhalations when a thick edge runs
down to third-man, “…and it always goes
for fourrrrr…” We miss the owlishness. The
omniscient blazer. The glint, the shoulder
lean, the rectitude. We miss the Welshness;
for with Tony’s demise, went the soul of
Welsh TV-presenting heritage, only recently
resurrected with the girl off The One Show.
We miss him, and his tribe, and all that they
stood for.
We miss going to Towcester for the 3:55
when Gooch is on 299. We miss nasal Jack and
Asif Iqbal, and their proto-stabs at bantership,
stuck-in-a-lift laughter, men wrestling their
ideas and each other, yet hitched to the code,
to the ethics of the mic, to the Beeb, to The
Broadcaster: the house of honour.
We miss the age of deference. We miss no
more than half a dozen cameras at any one
ground. Of cameras at one end, always behind
the keeper when Holding’s running in from
the far end. We miss the silence. The drift. Of
time elapsing, unfi lled by noise, undrenched
by colour.
We miss white graphics floating about
the screen, conveying the necessaries only.
We miss provincial insurance companies
working out of Guildford, and their white
stained logos on the outfield. Whiteness:
32 | ALL
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| SEPTEMBER
WE MISS THE OWLISHNESS. THE
OMNISCIENT BLAZER. THE GLINT, THE
SHOULDER LEAN, THE RECTITUDE.
WE MISS THE WELSHNESS; FOR WITH
TONY’S DEMISE, WENT THE SOUL OF
WELSH TV-PRESENTING HERITAGE,
ONLY RECENTLY RESURRECTED WITH
THE GIRL OFF THE ONE SHOW
white helmets, white kits (every match),
white sightscreens and off-white suits,
and the shared coverage with Jimmy
White v Nigel Bond in the UK semis.
We miss one-off one-dayers. Knockouts
in the shires. Mike Garnham and
Peter Such’s last-wicket stand, Wasim
spangling Surrey, Asif Din’s squiggly
hundred, Daff y’s new ball, Viv’s last day.
We miss cameras in the dressing
room of a late Nineties England team,
pyrrhic in victory, its inhabitants
cautious, scoping the walls for ghosts
and bugs, and The Gaffer at the heart of
it, shoulders back, neck straight, going
round the room, shaking hands with
each and every. Cool Brittania.
We miss the sublime, pre-Lewis
emptiness of the sportless, Kilroyoccupied TV vacuum before 10:50 – with
no recourse to 24-hour clip cycles. We
miss going to the news at the top of the
hour, and wondering what arrows have
been slung in the interregnum, and
returning to the action, and nothing
having changed. We miss Jim Laker
saying ‘superlative’ as if he’s bent-double
over the counter at Boots spluttering into
his sleeve.
We miss having it on in the background
at our gran’s. We miss sudden
unifying moments, non-fans turning
face, bandwagons jumped, national
conversations. We miss an alien from
another planet saying ‘Morning,
everyone’ and sensing that ‘everyone’
meant exactly that. That’s what we miss.
Perspective.
And we miss getting it for free.
MORE GREAT CRICKET WRITING FROM WISDEN…
A quarterly collection of essays and longform articles, The Nightwatchman allows
contributors the freedom to write at length
about a huge range of topics with at least a
passing connection to cricket. From journalists
to historians to comedians to musicians, the
first 10 issues are fit to bursting with brilliant
and thought-provoking reading.
To find out more take a look at
www.thenightwatchman.net
NO.1
AD
THE GREATEST
GREATEST
INNINGS
154*
ENGLAND V WEST INDIES
1ST TEST, HEADINGLEY
JUNE 6-10, 1991
AOC BARMY ARMY
| 33
www.alloutcricket.com
| AOC
| 73
‘GOOCH’S MONOLITHIC
INNINGS IS NOW
RECOGNISED AS THE
FINEST IN TEST HISTORY’
Derek Pringle, Essex and England teammate
of Gooch, was at the other end for the
captain’s masterpiece.
T
he unbeaten 154 made in England’s second
innings by Graham Gooch against the West
Indies at Headingley in 1991 has been hailed by
many as the greatest Test innings ever played.
Seasoned observers such as John Woodcock and
Robin Marlar, writing for the Times and Sunday Times
respectively, certainly recognised its significance at the
time, though that wasn’t the case with everyone.
Woodcock said it was “probably the fi nest Test innings
played by an England captain” while Marlar said its worth
was “beyond rubies”. Those of us in the England dressing
room were possibly too close to the action to put it into
context during the match.
On a tricky pitch against the greatest pace attack in
world cricket, possibly of all time, Gooch had applied
himself to bat for as long as possible as only he knew how.
Out went speculative shots and swishing hooks and
in came a mental resolve to play only at that which
was necessary, never an easy task against Marshall,
Ambrose, Walsh and Patterson.
It was Gooch’s combination of craft and concentration
over eye-catching strokeplay that probably prevented his
teammates from recognising the immediate worth of his
innings. Although his top score in Tests at Headingley to
that point was 68, Gooch had enjoyed a fi ne record against
successive phalanxes of West Indies quicks. We probably
took his brilliance for granted. But what we did realise
was that his knock had given us a good chance to win, a
rare occurrence against the West Indies teams of that era.
With a next highest score of 27, Gooch’s 154 stands out like
an Everest among molehills. I was one of two who managed
that second highest score (the other was Mark Ramprakash)
ABOVE: Gooch
clips the great
Malcolm Marshall
off his pads
LEFT: Pringle
survives as West
Indian fielder
Gus Logie fails
to take a catch at
short-leg
and Gooch and I added 98 for the seventh wicket.
While I clung on, playing and missing and working
the odd single, Gooch, by then at least, was middling
everything in defence and attack. His innings was still a
masterclass in attrition though, taking seven hours and
32 minutes with fewer than half the runs coming from
boundaries (18 fours).
The pitch was not quick but with low cloud present
throughout the Test, the ball moved both laterally and, as
the match wore on, vertically too as the bounce became
less reliable. But while others found mere survival difficult,
none of this fazed Gooch. He trained hard for those days
when batting became both mentally and physically sapping.
He might have been out early on, had mid-off not been so
deep and dozing, while West Indies were convinced that
he had later got a touch to one down the leg-side. Some
refused to applaud his century as a result but when asked
about that incident recently, Gooch said he did not believe
he had made contact with the ball.
When the last man, Devon Malcolm, was out, Gooch
could not dwell on his achievement. The West Indies
needed 278 to win and he had to marshall his bowlers.
Fortunately a disciplined performance saw us dismiss
them for 162, a victory impossible without Gooch’s
monolithic innings, now being recognised as the fi nest in
Test history.
England 198 (Marshall 3-46) & 252 (Gooch 154*; Ambrose
6-52) beat West Indies 173 (Richards 73; DeFreitas 4-59) &
162 (DeFreitas 4-59) by 115 runs.
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GREATEST
INNINGS
BEGINNINGS
“NOT HOW TO BAT BUT
HOW TO SCORE RUNS”
GOOCH
HOW THE BOY BECAME
THE DADDY
Graham Gooch, player of his country’s greatest modern Test innings,
talks John Stern through his theories of batsmanship and the evolution of
his batting from middle-order dasher into England’s leading runscorer.
G
raham Gooch has been at Lord’s for hours. In fact he’s been here
since 7.30am when he was giving his long-standing student,
Alastair Cook, the benefit of his wisdom – and doubtless his
vaunted ‘dog thrower’ Sidearm gadget.
Cook and Gooch might be from quite different social backgrounds
but their appetite for batting – sorry, run-scoring – is matched by
precious few others. And Gooch’s appetite for talking about his
specialist subject is extraordinary. Most interviews last 20 minutes,
30 if you’re lucky. An hour-and-a-half of listening to Gooch’s life
story through the ups and downs of his epic batting career is intense,
fascinating, and slightly bewildering. It’s like being in a tutorial. He’s
got such passion, such a well of knowledge, and still this huge appetite
after all these years. He’s almost evangelical. At various points, he
looked AOC straight in the eye to ask questions that seemed at first to
be rhetorical but then he’s waiting for an answer.
I was taught the game by my dad and I didn’t have any
formal coaching until I was 13 or 14. My dad took me to
Ilford cricket school and I was coached by Bill Morris, a
white Jamaican, who had played a bit for Essex in the 1950s.
Apart from my dad, he was the biggest influence on my
career. He taught me the knowledge, the intricacies of the
game and taught me not how to bat but how to score runs.
My first hundred was for Ilford Colts against Brentwood
in a 20-over match in about 1967, aged 14. My first game
for Essex 2nds was aged 15. It was at Northampton and it
felt like Lord’s to me. I was picked up by Johnny Welch, the
amateur captain of Essex 2nds, in his Rolls Royce. They
had me keeping wicket and batting No.11. I was really
pissed off because I was batting 11, I thought I should have
been at least No.10 before this clubby fast bowler.
I was never that successful in the second team. I played
a bit in 1973 as an amateur in the Sunday League and then
got into the first team when Keith Fletcher was away with
England. My big breakthrough innings was 94 against
Lancashire followed a month or two later by my first
hundred against Leicestershire. I remember hitting Garth
McKenzie for six and apologising to him! That set me on
my way and I started to be a bit more consistent. I’d shown
promise and had the belief that I could move forward in
county cricket.
THE TEST DEBUT
“I TOOK A HIT
MENTALLY”
I had a good first half of the
season in 1975. Scored 75
for MCC against Lillee
and Thomson at Lord’s
and was picked to bat
at five in the first Test at
Edgbaston. I was a young lad
with raw talent but not much
structure in terms of how to score
runs. I could hit the shots but I hadn’t
learned how to compose an innings. When I first turned up
at Edgbaston I was playing with a Who’s Who of England
cricket, players whose names a decade earlier were part
of my make-believe ‘Howzat!’ games: John Snow, Derek
Underwood, Alan Knott, Tony Greig, Dennis Amiss, John
Edrich, Keith Fletcher, Mike Denness. I was obviously the
odd one out. And I felt a bit like that. I felt like a fish out of
water. I was a bit unlucky in the first innings, caught down
the leg-side and then got a good ball in the second innings
after it rained for two days on an uncovered wicket. Denness
resigned, Tony Greig came in and I just don’t think he
fancied me. I took a bit of a hit mentally. I played a few onedayers in ‘76 but didn’t come really come back until 1978.
AOC BARMY ARMY
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THE BACK-LIFT
“I WAS FALLING OVER”
BECOMING AN
OPENER
ABOVE: Gooch
trains with the
Hammers as part
of his fitness
regime
Not long after becoming an opener, the next major change
came – my back-lift. My then wife’s aunt recorded the
highlights from the Australia tour of ‘78/79. I didn’t have
a great series [England won the Ashes 5-1] and one decent
score at the end probably kept me in the team. I watched
these tapes when I got back and thought ‘I can’t play like
that’. I was falling over. I wasn’t happy with my whole setup. Bringing the back-lift up felt comfortable, my head was
level and instantly I started hitting the ball straighter. It
changed my whole game. I began to hit down the ground,
one of my signature shots. I had a good summer and did well
in the World Cup. That was probably the most important
evolution in my game. It fell into disrepair 10 years later – I
got it back – but that style was set and served me well for
the rest of my career. Ted Dexter came out with this great
comment – you move in a bath not a piss pot! What he
meant was that in a bath you can only move backwards and
forwards, not across, and that’s how batting should be.
“IT HAD AN IMMEDIATE
EFFECT”
THE YEARS OF
PLENTY
I didn’t play great in ‘77. I was batting four or five for
Essex, while Brian Hardie opened. It hadn’t gone great for
either of us so Fletcher suggested we swap. Opening the
batting made me tighten my game up. In one fell swoop I
went from being a talented young player with lots of shots
and fl air and not much consistency to thinking completely
differently about my game. I had to leave the leave ball
better and concentrate better. That was the start of the
evolution into the player I became. It had an immediate
effect, sharpening up the mental side. If your head’s not
right it’s very unlikely you’ll succeed. I wasn’t the fi nished
article but I got called up for the second Test at Lord’s
against Pakistan and stayed in the side after that. I made
50 on my return to Test cricket and got 90 in a run-chase
against New Zealand – I’d found my niche.
The switch to opener was also when my training regime
started. That’s when I started running and I used to play
amateur soccer in the winter. There was a time when we
played a lot at Ilford and I used to run to the ground in
the morning from my home in Gidea Park. It was nine
miles – madness really – but pushing myself gave
me the longevity, built my character and resilience.
Pushing yourself physically rubs off on the other
elements of your game. It’s quite a simple equation
for me. What sort of sacrifice is it? I’ve never seen a
sportsman become fitter but become a worse sportsman.
There are four key factors about scoring runs:
attitude, technical ability, knowledge and
concentration. If I can’t concentrate then I can’t score
runs. You need a system of concentration, to be able to
switch on and off. What directly affects concentration?
Fatigue. If you’re not fit and in shape, you’re likely to
fatigue earlier and make mistakes. I developed a system to
cut out errors because most of the time you get out because
you’ve made an error or a bad decision.
My game started to fall into disrepair in 1987 and I didn’t
play any Tests. For batsmen, faults tend to creep in over
time and then you suddenly need to reassess. You need
to have ‘benchmark play’ which is easy now with all the
technology but wasn’t so easy then. I got Boycs in and he
took me back 10 years to how I used to play against the
West Indies. He claimed all the credit, of course, and he
still does now, but that’s Geoff rey. Instantly it came back.
The last big evolution in my batting was about to happen
and it all stemmed from being asked to be captain.
When I look back at the most memorable element of
my career, it’s being captain of my country. Nothing can
surpass that. It’s the honour of being asked – and trusted –
with the role, albeit for a brief time. You are a custodian of
the game and your country and no personal achievement
can top that. I talk to Alastair about this. Being captain of
England, or Australia, is more than just being captain of
the team. You are captain of your whole country’s cricket
and what that stands for. You’re an ambassador for the
whole game and that had a big effect on me.
What took me on to the most successful, consistent part
of my career was a completely different way of thinking
about myself: a much more positive, glass-half-full way of
looking at things. So no doubts, no question marks about
whether I’m going to be successful, which was partly
brought on by being captain. From 1989 to about 1994,
when I went over the hill a bit, I had a different perception of
myself as a player. I had an unwavering belief in my ability
and what I could achieve, whereas before I was maybe not
quite as solid. The number and size of the hundreds leapt up.
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“A COMPLETELY
DIFFERENT PERCEPTION
OF MYSELF”
GREATEST
INNINGS
‘IN THE CONTEXT
OF A PARTICULAR
GAME, I’VE NEVER
SEEN A BETTER
TEST MATCH
INNINGS’ – RICHIE
BENAUD, BBC
THE GREATEST
TEST INNINGS
154 not out (second innings) out of 252
Headingley, 1991
England beat West Indies by 115 runs
It’s my best innings because of the conditions and the
opposition. The 333 was on a good wicket and against slightly
lesser bowling. Around that time, Headingley was a wicket
well suited to English types of bowlers so it was a good place
for us to play. We beat West Indies and Pakistan there.
This match was a low-scoring, exciting game with the ball
moving around. You have to adopt a resolute defence, not
only in terms of technique but in your mind as well. In other
words, if you’re playing and missing a lot that doesn’t mean
you’re playing badly – it can mean you’re playing well. If you
have good technique, you will play the ball and hold your
position. When batsmen nick off they often get there a bit
soon, and just slightly follow the ball. If you present the bat
with the right timing and hold your position, then if it jags,
you will hopefully miss it. It’s quite a hard mental skill.
Headingley was that type of pitch where there was always
a ball with your name on it. I played and missed a lot in that
innings but in terms of scoring options, anything short I
decided to throw the kitchen sink at, either the pull or the
cut. Driving wasn’t easy.
I remember batting with Pring [Derek Pringle], it was
raining a bit and we were offered the light. It was the only
time in my career against West Indies that I was offered the
light and turned it down! They’d bowled a lot and there was
no way I was going to let them go off, sit down, rest up and
then come back out. It paid off. It’s much more satisfying to
score difficult runs in bowler-friendly conditions than a big
hundred on a shirtfront. Coming up against the best bowlers
in helpful conditions, your attitude has to be: “This is why
I train, this is why I practise, this is why I try to perfect a
technique.” Put positive thoughts in your head. Getting runs
on a low-scoring pitch makes the difference for your team.
“Gooch gloriously confirmed his standing on
the international stage. His decisive, unbeaten
15 4 in the second innings was the product of
seven-and-a-half hours of careful application .
Unyielding concentration carried him through
three interruptions for rain on the four th day,
and mental toughnes s enabled him to sur vive a
series of disasters at the other end ”
Wisden Almanack 1992
20
NO ENGLAND OPENER
HAD HIT A CENTURY
IN CARRYING HIS BAT
FOR 40 YEARS. GOOCH
SCORED 20 PER CENT
OF ALL THE RUNS
SCORED OFF THE BAT
IN THE WHOLE TEST
AOC BARMY ARMY
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| AOC| 37
| 77
COMPETITIONS
Q
WIN
WIN!
A BRAND NEW
SPARTAN CG
AUTHORITY
BAT WORTH
£380
TONS OF FUN
As part of our ‘greatest innings’
issue, here are 10 questions on
the theme of centuries. Answer
them all for a chance to win.
4. Mike Denness was captain, Dennis Amiss
was his opening partner… but which Sky
Sports commentator made an unbeaten 214
against India at Edgbaston in 1974?
1. There were two centurions in the famous
Headingley Test of 1981. One was Ian
Botham. Who was the other?
2. Off which England bowler did Brian Lara hit
his 400th run during his record-breaking
innings at St John’s in 2004?
3. Which two Indian batsmen made stylish (if
overshadowed) centuries during the 1990
Lord’s Test – the game in which Graham
Gooch made his merciless 333?
38 || ALL
CRICKET 2015
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AOCOUT
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5. Against South Africa at Colombo in 2006,
the Sri Lankan axis of Kumar Sangakkara
and Mahela Jayawardene put together
a useful partnership of 624, and their
combined total of boundaries for the
innings was appropriately lofty. Did they hit
a) 49, b) 79 or c) 99 fours and sixes in all?
6. Which England player made a century in
the Women’s Ashes Test at Wormsley in 2013?
7. Who was up the other end as Michael
Vaughan went to a hundred in the Old
Trafford Test during the 2005 Ashes?
8. Botham’s 118 at Old Trafford, ’81. How many balls?
9. Whose debut century helped England to
an Ashes-winning Test victory at the Oval
in 2009?
10. After a long wait for his hundredth
international century, Sachin Tendulkar finally
made it in an ODI against which country?
To enter, head to alloutcricket.com and click
the COMPS tab at the top of the home page.
You’ll find this quiz – along with a host of other
competitions to have a go at – there.
THE AOC CROSSWORD!
Send your answers to [email protected] and you could win
a copy of CMJ: A Cricketing Life by Christopher Martin-Jenkins
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
WIN!
A SIGNED SIMON
JONES BOOK
In the summer of the 10th anniversary of the 2005
Ashes, Simon Jones – one of the series’ heroes but
who would never play for England again – has written
his autobiography. The fascinating book – written
in sections focusing on each Test of the series and
drawing out to take in Jones’ life before and after it – is
available to buy now.
But you could be the recipient of a free copy, signed by
the man himself. Just have a stab at the question below
for your chance to be one of five winners.
Against which country did Simon Jones make his Test
debut?
1) Australia
2) India
3) South Africa
Head online to
alloutcricket.com and click
on the ‘COMPS’ tab. You’ll find
this competition – along with
a host of others to have a go
at – there.
The Test: My Life, and the
Inside Story of the Greatest
Ashes Series by Simon Jones
is published by Yellow Jersey,
RRP: £18.99
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13
14
17
19
20
15
16
18
21
22
24
23
25
26
28
27
29
30
31
ACROSS
1. Dublin cricket club, hosts internationals (8)
5. The man in a white coat (6)
8. Kleinveldt, Hamilton-Brown, Burns (4)
9. Speccy Indian leggie, took 16 wickets on debut in the late 80s (7)
11. Instrument of both Brett Lee and Curtly Ambrose (6)
12. Initials of England’s ‘Daddy’ runmaker
13. Joe. Kent opener, formerly Middlesex and England (5)
15. New to the team, probably under the lid (6)
17. Strategy for tricking someone, you can fall into these (4)
19. Good, hard deck. Possibly with cat’s eyes on (4)
21. Indian god. Could bat (6)
22. Former England man Sajid and Pakistani allrounder Azhar (7)
23. You’ve been struck in front (2)
25. The umpire says you are ok, so you’re...? (2)
26. How the Aussies responded to England’s post-Cardiff offer of drinks (4)
28. Sarwan’s nickname and a good snooker player (6)
29. Surname of Middlesex and England leggie with 1,518 first-class scalps (4)
30. To hang up your boots (6)
31. Former Zimbabwean Test opener, son of Ray (6, 7)
DOWN
1. Rock-loving umpire, former Test seamer (9)
2. Sir Hutton’s first name (3)
3. Dreadlock what? A 10CC hit (7)
4. Buccaneering, moustachioed Indian opener (6)
5. Polly, Indian great ((7)
6. A tight or miserly spell (adj.) (12)
7. Patrick, a photographic titan
10. Your Joeys, your Winstons, your Kennys (8)
14. A famous architectural and practical feature near the Oval (9)
16. Venue for ‘05’s greatest Test
17. If you pick the seam, you could be called this (8)
18. This protects your leg (3)
20. Screaming Kiwi commentator’s first name (5)
24. South African-born, former England barnacle at No.3 (5)
27. Shahid Afridi could be called this after he was anything but toothless with
the ball (5)
PRINT THIS OUT AND
SEND US YOUR ANSWERS
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