PR Snapshot - April 2010 - You Say Tomato, I Say Shut Up... A Love

PUBLICITY SNAPSHOT
APRIL 2010
Compiled by ID Public Relations
Contact: 323-822-4800
YOU SAY TOMATO I SAY SHUT UP
PUBLICITY SNAPSHOT
APRIL 2010
ALBANY TIMES UNION
•
Annabelle and Jeff interview ran on February 25, 2010
AM NEW YORK
•
Book signing at Borders listed on events page on February 23, 2010
AM NORTHWEST
•
Annabelle and Jeff appeared as guests on March 12, 2010
AOL SHOPPING
•
Book included in “Book Releases” column posted on February 23, 2010
BLOGTALK RADIO’S “SOMEWHERE IN VEGAS”
•
Annabelle and Jeff interview aired on March 22, 2010
BOOKVIEWS BLOG
•
Book review posted on March 31, 2010
CAMPUS CIRCLE
•
Book signing at Book Soup listed on calendar page on March 1, 2010
CHICAGO SUN-TIMES
•
Annabelle and Jeff interview ran on April 4, 2010
CINDY READS
•
Book review posted on March 22, 2010
CNN SHOWBIZ TONIGHT
•
Annabelle appeared as a guest on March 26, 2010
THE DIRTY T-SHIRT
•
Book review posted on March 31, 2010
EVENTFUL.COM
•
Book performance at Warwick’s listed on calendar page on March 3, 2010
EXAMINER.COM
•
Annabelle and Jeff interview feature posted on March 26, 2010
FOX RED EYE WITH GREG GUTFELD
•
Annabelle and Jeff featured as guests on April 2, 2010
FOX STRATEGY ROOM
•
Annabelle and Jeff featured as guests on April 1, 2010
GALLEY CAT
•
Book featured for item on Maplewood video posted on March 15, 2010
HUFFINGTON POST
•
Annabelle and Jeff’s “Year End Round-Up in Marriage” article posted on December 22, 2010
•
Annabelle and Jeff’s “Valentine’s Day Relationship Quiz” posted on February 12, 2010
•
Annabelle’s “Beverly Hills Adjacent Medical Bills” posted on March 17, 2010
2
THE JEWISH DAILY FORWARD
•
Book performance at UJA featured on March 17, 2010
IT’S IN MIAMI.COM
•
Book reading at Books and Books listed in the agenda for March 15, 2010
J WEEKLY.COM
•
Book reading at Book Passage listed in events on March 12, 2010
JOEY REYNOLDS RADIO (WOR)
•
Annabelle and Jeff interview aired on February 27, 2010
THE JOY BEHAR SHOW
•
Annabelle appeared as a panelist on February 23, 2010
KANSAS CITY STAR
•
Annabelle and Jeff interview ran on March 1, 2010
KPCC AIRTALK WITH LARRY MANTLE
•
Annabelle and Jeff interview aired on March 4, 2010
LAIST.COM
•
Book reading at Book Soup listed as “Pencil Pick of the Day”
LA SIGNATURE MAGAZINE
•
Book to be included in a news item for the Health & Beauty issue for May 2010
LIBRARY JOURNAL
•
Book review ran on January 21, 2010
LIVEWIRE!
•
Annabelle & Jeff interview for radio and a live audience aired on March 12, 2010
LOS ANGELES MAGAZINE
•
Book review featured on “Coming Attractions page for February 2010 issue
MARIE CLAIRE
•
Book featured with “He Said, She Said” Valentine’s Day Debate for February 2010 issue
MEN’S HEALTH
•
Annabelle and Jeff’s “Condom Essay” to be featured in May 2010 issue
METROMIX (NEW YORK)
•
Book reading at Borders listed as posted on February 23, 2010
MIAMI HERALD
•
Book reading at Books and Books listed in “Author Appearances” on March 16, 2010
MINGLE MEDIA TV
•
Book trailer posted on March 4, 2010
MORE.COM
•
Annabelle and Jeff’s “8 Ideas for a Better Marriage” posted on March 17, 2010
NBC LOS ANGELES
•
Book reading at Borders listed in events section on March 9, 2010
NBC MIAMI
•
Book reading at Books & Books feature posted on March 17, 2010
NEW YORK POST
•
Book party at Caroline’s mentioned in Cindy Adams column on February 24, 2010
•
Annabelle and Jeff interview feature ran on February 28, 2010
•
Annabelle and Jeff quotes about celebrity infidelity ran on Page Six on April 1, 2010
3
NPR.ORG
•
Annabelle’s “Three Love Letters For A Literary Affair” posted on February 13, 2010
PEOPLE MAGAZINE
•
Book review ran in February 22, 2010 issue
PIXIES DID IT
•
Book review posted on March 15, 2010
PSYCHOLOGY TODAY
•
Book review ran in April 2010 issue
PUBLISHER’S WEEKLY
•
Book review ran on December 14, 2010
•
Annabelle’s “Soapbox” feature ran on March 1, 2010
READER’S DIGEST
•
Annabelle and Jeff’s “Pet Peeves” to be featured in the August 2010 issue
•
Annabelle’s “Aha Stories” to be featured in the September 2010 issue
REAL SIMPLE.COM
•
Book featured for “Fun Things to Do” on March 15, 2010
REDBOOK
•
Book featured for “Your Love Life” section in the February 2010 issue
THE REVIEW BROADS
•
Review posted on March 31, 2010
SAN DIEGO 6
•
Annabelle and Jeff appeared as guests on March 27, 2010
SAN DIEGO CITY BEAT
•
Book performance at Isabel’s posted on March 19, 2010
SHELF AWARENESS
•
Book mentioned in newsletter for March 15, 2010 edition
SIRIUS RADIO’S “THE DEREK AND ROMAINE SHOW”
•
Annabelle and Jeff interview aired on March 30, 2010
SIRIUS RADIO’S “THE FRANK DE CARO SHOW”
•
Annabelle and Jeff interview aired on March 1, 2010
SOUTH FLORIDA SUN SENTINEL
•
Annabelle and Jeff interview feature ran on March 12, 2010
VIEW FROM THE BAY
•
Annabelle and Jeff appeared as guests on March 19, 2010
WANDA SYKES SHOW
•
Annabelle featured as a panelist on March 27, 2010
4
ALBANY TIMES UNION
February 25, 2010
'You Say Tomato, I Say Shut Up: A Love Story'
authors to appear at Albany Marriott
By DONNA LIQUORI, Special to the Times Union
First published in print: Thursday, February 25, 2010
Comedians Annabelle Gurwitch and Albany-native Jeff Kahn want you to believe they are miserable at
the art of marriage. In their book, "You Say Tomato, I Say Shut Up: A Love Story," (Crown; 264 pages;
$24), they fight and compete, but never lose sight of the fact that their marriage is pretty strong. "For
some, reason people keep saying that," Gurwitch said in a recent (speaker) phone interview with Kahn
from their Hollywood home.
The book evolved after Kahn read an essay about a particular marital challenge. "It was really funny,"
Gurwitch said. "Jeff's out there killing -- everyone in the audience is laughing really hard about how hard
it is to get me to have sex with him. I had to follow him on stage and the only thing I could say was 'Oh,
my God, my husband's a great fiction writer.' Then I decided after that night that I had to have a say, so I
wrote a retort."
They'll be performing from 7 to 10 p.m. Saturday at the Albany Marriott for free as part of their national
tour. Books will be available for purchase and signing. If you're interested in going, call Kahn's mom,
Ilene Kahn, at 466-1592 to RSVP, because the room only holds 300 people.
"We thought it would be a good idea to channel our hatred into something constructive, taking something
that goes really sort of badly and turning it around for profit and for fun." said Kahn, an Albany High
School grad.
"I like to make fun of everything that is horrible," said Gurwitch, who after getting axed by Woody Allen,
wrote "Fired! Tales of the Canned, Canceled, Downsized, & Dismissed," (Touchstone; 2006). "I consider
this part of the comedy of humiliation, writing a book about marriage."
While self-help books urge couples to be pleasant to each other, "Tomato" is realistic.
"You just don't hear people talking -- and I don't mean how you have to work at marriage -- but how
damn hard it really is," Gurwitch said.
5
"And how much it really does suck," added Kahn, whose father is an Albany divorce attorney.
"It involves all those things we're not good at -- compromise, patience, reasoning things out, and
organization -- all of the skills we somehow lack genetically," Gurwitch said.
The book also pokes fun at the details of the day-to-day habits that drive couples crazy.
"Jeff meows," Gurwitch wrote in the book. "Jeff wasn't just a visitor to Catlandia, he was a citizen.
Maybe its president. From the first tentative meow he'd make upon rising in the morning, he'd keep it up,
right until bedtime, when I'd hear little mewing sounds punctuated by staccato meeps, one for each step
he climbed to our bedroom."
Later, Gurwitch described what happens to couples who cohabit for a long time:
Separated in the hills near their home during a hike as it was getting dark, Gurwitch called out to her
husband and he meowed. "I mewed right back. Oh. My. God. The next thing I knew I was meowing
around the house too."
Delivered in a "He Says, She says" format, the book also explores the difficult time they had after their
son was born with VACTERL, a rare series of birth defects, which led to multiple surgeries.
Kahn writes: "In all honesty, it was the most unimaginable and difficult crisis of my life. I was in the
thick of 'for better or worse'; and although I might have sucked at it, I wasn't going to quit."
Gurwitch writes: "I liken those first few years to training for a triathlon. Just when you finish the bike
ride, you have to jump in the water and swim, and then, oh yeah, you have to run. I'm not really cut out
for endurance of any kind." (Ezra, who is 12, is doing great now.)
Gurwitch writes about how having a kid with a chronic medical condition means that you're always
primed for crisis management, so when he lost his tooth, she screamed, "Oh my God, Jeff, his tooth fell
out; let's go to the hospital!" She remembered that kids' teeth were supposed to fall out as she was herding
Ezra into the car.
"If there is a positive message in it, and I do really think there is, you have to have a sense of humor."
Gurwitch said.
Annabelle Gurwitch and Jeff Kahn
When: 7 p.m. Saturday
Where: Albany Marriott, Empire Room, 189 Wolf Road, Colonie
Tickets: Free, but please call to reserve, 466-1592
Info: http://bhny.com/events.html
Link:
http://www.timesunion.com/AspStories/story.asp?storyID=904241&category=ARTS&BCCode=&
newsdate=2/25/2010
6
AM NEW YORK
February 23, 2010
7
AM NORTHWEST
March 12, 2010
A Marriage Memoir: Annabelle Gurwitch & Jeff Kahn
Link: http://www.katu.com/amnw/segments/87481782.html
8
AOL SHOPPING
February 23, 2010
Book Releases: February 23
posted Feb 23rd 2010 8:00AM by Jamey Schrick
in Genres
Some of fiction's most beloved characters return this week in New Book Releases. J.D. Robb's Eve Dallas takes on a
puzzling techno-mystery, Kim Harrison's witch-demon Rachel Morgan runs for her life from her own kind, and the late
Robert B. Parker's Jesse Stone battles personal demons alongside Sunny Randall. These and a new historical fiction
masterpiece from Dan Simmons, too? What a week for Book Releases! Turn that virtual page and check out this
week's hottest Book Releases.
J.D. Robb--a.k.a. Nora Roberts--presents the 31st entry in the wildly popular In Death series. New York Police and
Security Department Lieutenant Eve Dallas and her husband Roarke face their most bizarre case yet in Fantasy in
Death (Starting at $14.55: Up to 46% in Savings). The victim is Bart Minnock, the well-liked millionaire founder of
video gaming industry leader U-Play and creator of a breathtakingly visionary prototype online fantasy role-playing
adventure called Fantastical. While engaged in a game against an imaginary opponent, somehow Minnock's head is
violently divorced from his body in a locked room in a building with no logged entries at the time of the crime.
Furthermore, Eve can't make any link between the murder and Minnock's greif-stricken girlfriend or weird-but-benign
fellow game designers at U-Play, or find an obvious motive for why someone would want the brilliant and exuberant
designer dead. Eve concludes that Minnock's wealth and status invariably have attracted someone's jealous eye, and
intends to find out who. She enlists the help of Roarke--once a competitor of Minnock--to sort of this complicated
high-tech mystery.
Danielle Steel, the most recognized name in romance fiction, hits the big 8-0 (that is, in number
of novels) with her latest sugary novel. Big Girl (Starting at $15.12: Up to 46% in Savings)
follows Victoria Dawson, a pretty but plus-sized blonde who has had to endure a lifetime of
unfair comparison to her younger, thinner and prettier sister Gracie from her obnoxious, meanspirited parents. In particular Victoria takes belittling comments from her father, who insists that
she was the "test cake" prior to the birth of the perfect Gracie. In an effort to escape this mental
torment, Victoria decides to leave her family behind in body-conscious Los Angeles and make
her home in New York. Smart, well-liked, and with her dream teaching job, Victoria should be
quite content, especially since she still enjoys a loving and non-judgmental relationship with
Gracie. She's even tackling her weight problem head-on by hitting the gym, which doesn't go
unnoticed by the opposite sex. Yet no matter how well Victoria's life seems to be going, her
parents always know exactly how to knock her down a peg, which sends her running for the
comfort food. When Gracie gets herself engaged to a man who is essentially a clone of their
father, Victoria finally decides that she will have to stand up to her parents, and to do so she will have to at last love
herself for who she is--a big girl.
9
Best-selling author Kim Harrison's Rachel Morgan series rolls along to its thrilling eighth novel in Black Magic
Sanction (Starting at $14.03: Up to 46% in Savings). Detective-bounty hunter-witch Rachel Morgan has battled all
kinds of fantastic enemies in The Hollows--demons, vampires, werewolves--in a dazzling career, but suddenly she
finds herself fighting against her own kind for the first time. When it is discovered that Rachel is part demon, and that
her offspring would also be demons, a coven of white magic witches sentence Rachel to either lobotimization and
sterilization, or lifetime imprisonment in Alcatraz. Hardly enthused with those options, Rachel has to go on the run
from her fellow witches. With no one to turn to for help, Rachel is forced to make some very tenuous alliances with
some shady characters: elf Trent Kalamack, a powerful drug lord in hiding; the demon Algaliarept; and worst of all,
her two-timing ex-boyfriend Nick. Trust doesn't run high among these three, who--along with a panoply of other
creatures that Rachel might normally hunt--are her only hope for survival.
The crime fiction world lost one of its scions when Robert B. Parker passed away last month at age 77. He leaves
behind several beloved crime series, including his Jesse Stone novels, the ninth volume of which is now published
posthumously. In Split Image (Starting at $14.01: Up to 46% in Savings), Paradise, Massachusetts, police chief
Jesse Stone is still reeling from his failed marriage, a personal tragedy that he remedies poorly with heavy doses of
booze. Meanwhile, the death of Petrov Ognowski, a lackey for retired mafia kingpin Reggie Galen (whose wife
Rebecca has an identical twin sister living next door with her own mafia husband), barely registers on Stone's radar
until a much more important criminal figure winds up dead on Paradise Beach. Stone tries to keep his head together,
a task which is aided immensely by the arrival of private eye Sunny Randall in Paradise seeking aid from Stone on a
seemingly unrelated case. Sunny has been hired by the parents of teenager Cheryl DeMarco to get their daughter out
of a dangerous religious cult. As Stone and Sunny become professionally and personally closer, their separate cases
begin to also intertwine, each revealing something about themselves they had never imagined.
Hugo Award-winning author Dan Simmons further demonstrates his cross-genre mastery with a scintillating
supernatural historical epic riffing on the Battle of Little Bighorn. Black Hills (Starting at $18.97: Up to 27% in
Savings) picks up the tale of Custer's last stand in 1876, when the ghost of the vanquished General Custer enters
the body--via "counting coup"--of a 10-year-old Lakota boy named Paha Sapa, and stays with the Native for the next
sixty years. Gifted since birth with the ability to see the past and future of another person simply by touching them,
Paha Sapa grows up amidst the bloody turbulence between Native Americans and the white man. Haunted by a
vision of four great stone presidents mounted atop his beloved Black Hills like conquering monsters, Paha Sapa
10
becomes determined to erase the blight of the white conquerors from his people's sacred mountain. Paha Sapa's
epic journey across the westward-reaching United States reaches its thrilling climax when he signs on as a
powderman for the Mount Rushmore blasting crew. Paha Sapa, still haunted by Custer, nonetheless plans out his
revenge, looking to destroy the monument on the day that FDR arrives to dedicate the Jefferson face. Simmons is a
masterful writer, creating in Paha Sapa an authentic, multi-dimensional portrait of the Native American plight against
the sweep of the 20th century's arrival.
Comedic actor-writers and married couple Annabelle Gurwitch (Fired!, Seinfeld) and Jeff Kahn (Curb Your
Enthusiasm) present a hilarious and insightful look into the highs and lows of their marriage. You Say Tomato, I Say
Shut Up (Starting at $18.34: Up to 24% in Savings) begins with anecdotes from Jeff's hot pursuit of Annabelle, filled
with delightfully funny tales of dating and courtship that eventually leads to a proposal, marriage, a honeymoon, and
domestic bliss. As with most any couple, the sex starts off hot and heavy between the couple, then slowly dwindles
over time to a ho-hum routine to get to when everything else is taken care of. Their story takes a very serious turn,
however, when their first child is born with birth defects, a psychologically trying ordeal that Jeff and Annabelle take
out on one another. Yet through everything, the couple manage to maintain a sense of humor that shines through the
dark times. The book is often presented in a he said/she said format that yields some uproarious insights into the
dynamics of marriage, a seemingly insane social tradition that nonetheless endures.
Link: http://shopping.aol.com/articles/2010/02/23/book-releases-february-23/
11
BLOGTALK RADIO
March 22, 2010
Comedians, writers, and "loving" couple Annabelle Gurwitch and Jeff Kahn talks about their new book "You
say Tomato, I say Shut Up." Annabelle Gurwitch is best known for her stint on "Dinner and a Movie" and her
current show "Wa$ted" on Planet Green, while her husband Jess Kahn has been a writer for "The Ben Stiller
Show" and "Drawn Together". Plus hip hop author D.D. Turner talks about his new book "The Chronicles of a
Hip Hop Legend"
Link: http://www.blogtalkradio.com/somewhereinvegas
12
BOOKVIEWS BLOG
March 31, 2010
Bookviews by Alan Caruba
A monthly report on the best in new fiction and non-fiction books. Alan Caruba is a charter
member of the National Book Critics Circle and has been reviewing for more than five decades.
Bookviews does not accept self-published books for consideration, nor galleys. Only finished,
published books should be sent. To request a review, first email [email protected]
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
Bookviews - April 2010
By Alan Caruba
Marriage and Children
A number of interesting and useful books about the lead-up to marriage, marriage, and childrearing have arrived so let’s take a look at them.
She’s Crazy, He’s a Liar: Now What? A Single Girl’s Guide to Understanding the Sexes by
Cecily Knobler ($14.95, Robert Kennedy Publishing, softcover) is an entertaining journey
through the process of dating. The author is a radio host, film critic, and stand-up comic. In her
book she provides a witty, quick read that offers rules for dating, kissing, foreplay and even sex.
The effort is to explain what both sexes are thinking during all this. It comes down to the way
men think all women are crazy and all women think all men are liars. I cannot speak to the
wisdom imparted because I am too old and the times have changed the way the opposite sexes
related to one another, but I can attest to finding the book very amusing. You Say Tomato, I Say
Shut Up by Annabelle Gurwitch and Jeff Kahn ($24.00, Crown Publishers), a married couple
who, after thirteen years of marriage, say that they’ve discovered “We’re just not that into us.” In
truth they have an intense, loving marriage and the book relates an unsentimental account of the
medical odyssey they took when their infant son was diagnosed with a rare disorder. Gurwitch is
an actress and writer, best known for cohosting “Dinner and a Movie” on TBS. Her husband,
Jeff, won an Emmy Award for writing on “The Ben Stiller Show” and, as an actor, has appeared
in “The 40-Year-Old Virgin and “Tropic Thunder”, as well as the HBO series, “Curb Your
Enthusiasm”, among his credits. Suffice to say that it is a very funny, often moving, read.
Everybody Marries the Wrong Person: Turning Flawed into Fulfilling Relationships by
Christine Meinecke, PhD ($14.95, New Horizon Press, softcover) will not officially come off the
press until July, but if you have questions about your marriage this book will prove very helpful.
The author discusses conventional viewpoints on relationships and how to move from the initial
infatuation that leads to marriage toward creating a mature, lasting love. It is filled with good
advice on how to manage personal expectations and reactions to various common situations, how
to focus on one’s partner’s strengths, and how to choose to be both loving and loveable. She
identifies faulty marital expectations and how to practice marriage enhancing behaviors that lead
to mutual fulfillment. Considering that 50% of married couples in the U.S. end up divorced, what
are the elements of a good marriage? The Path We Share: Reflecting on 60 Years of Marriage
by Lois Techetter Hjelmstad ($18.95, Mulberry Hill Press, softcover) is just off the press and
shares the kind of advice that newlyweds and those into the early years of their marriage can
benefit from. She stresses the importance of preserving in tough times, ways to nurture the
13
relationship, creating a post-parenthood marriage, and keeping the laughter, the love, and
physical relationship going over the long term. Marriage and Other Acts of Charity is a
memoir by Kate Braestrup who reads her book on audio ($29,.98, Hachette Audio, 5 CDs). It is
devoted to love and commitment. A minister who regularly performs weddings, she has been
married twice and widowed once. Her subject is about truly sharing your life with someone, for
better or for worse, as the vows say. For those of a religious inclination, there is a lot of wisdom
and comfort in her book.
With marriage often comes babies and Your Baby’s First Year is now in its third edition as
Glade B. Curtis, MD, and Judith Schuler, MA, ($l6.95, Da Capo Press, softcover) take the
reader, week by week, through that first year on a week to week basis. Revised and updated, it is
filled with information on every aspect from common medical problems, feeding, bonding with
your baby, sleeping habits, vaccination guidelines, and baby gear among many other topics. This
is an invaluable guide for new parents and those expecting their first child. The Smart Parent’s
Guide to Getting Your Kids Through Checkups, Illnesses, Accidents by Jennifer
Trachtenberg, MD ($16.00, Free Press, softcover) has just been published and, as the title
suggests, it is a thorough guide to help parents make the right decisions on finding the right
doctor, tips for the perfect office visit, how to prevent medical mistakes in a doctor’s office or
hospital, and much more. The author has credentials to spare and this book has much to
recommend it.
Link: http://bookviewsbyalancaruba.blogspot.com/
14
CAMPUS CIRCLE
March 1, 2010
Link: http://www.campuscircle.com/calendar/calendar_event.cfm?ceid=3456
15
CHICAGO SUN TIMES
April 4, 2010
Throwing the book at marriage
HUMOR | Couple takes a humorous, sometimes painful, look at 'ultimate
crisis'
April 4, 2010
BY MIKE THOMAS Staff Reporter
After 13 years of marriage to actress and writer Annabelle Gurwitch, the needle on Jeff Kahn’s
“Perv-O-Meter” remains nearly buried. Or so he claims.
“The Perv-O-Meter is how I feel about the person I’m perving it with,” says Kahn, a comedic
actor and Emmy-winning TV writer (“The Ben Stiller Show”) who acted in Chicago a couple of
decades back. His improv group, “An Impulsive Thing,” performed at Bob’s Bar in Wrigleyville
and co-starred Bonnie Hunt and his college roommate from Madison, Wis., Joan Cusack. “And
that would be Annabelle, so it’s still very high. It’s still around a nine. I’m still very much pervhappy with Annabelle.”
Annabelle Gurwitch and Jeff Kahn turn a critical eye on the institution of marriage in their book,
You Say Tomato, I Say Shut Up. “It’s a comedy of failure” she says.
LOCAL APPEARANCE
The authors will read from and sign copies of You Say Tomato, I Say Shut Up, 7:30 p.m. April 8
at Barbara’s Bookstore, 1218 S. Halsted.
The couple’s new book, You Say Tomato, I Say Shut Up, (Crown, $24) is a sardonic he said/she
said — which shifts part-way through, per Gurwitch’s now-lamented insistence (she liked having
the last word) to a she said/he said — guide to marriage whose mantra can be summed up thusly:
Just grin and bear it.
“It’s a comedy of failure, the comedy of humiliation. Black comedy,” says Gurwitch, who was
once part of Northwestern University’s “Cherubs” program. “It’s a coping mechanism. And I
think the ultimate crisis that a person can face is marriage. What is marriage except a crisis
situation? Two people trying to live together and, in our case, work together and parent together.
I mean, wow. If you can’t maintain a sense of humor, you’re screwed.”
16
Kahn chimes in. “Speaking from my own empirical couple-watching, I think couples who are
able to laugh at each other — or just laugh at Annabelle, for instance — get by much better.
Because everybody fights. But when you can laugh at your foibles, faults, imperfections, stupid
mistakes, moronic behavior, it makes it a lot easier because you can own up to it. We’re just all
very faulty people.”
Before they got hitched, as the book details, there were requisite bachelor/bachelorette
bacchanals. Kahn was forbidden from having strippers at his; Gurwitch enjoyed two buff dudes
in satin thongs. Kahn was, and is, acutely aware of the double standard.
Kahn: I was not allowed to have any type of stripping or female nudity in any way. I was not
allowed to look at another woman’s low parts, if I might say. It was very, very important to
[Annabelle], so I forewent all of that traditional, incredibly fun, male bachelor party ritual. It was
a completely boring bachelor party. So boring. And then she ended up having two strippers. Not
one, but two!
Gurwitch: But let me just say this now — I think that that was a big mistake. I think that...
Kahn (interrupting): You had the best time, Annabelle, at yours.
Gurwitch: (Pause)
Kahn: You were laughing for like three weeks afterward.
Gurwitch: I think the thing that freaked me out a little bit was he had told me that he used to go
to strip clubs sometimes and he knew some of the strippers’ names. And I was a little freaked out
by that. And he actually believed their stories of “I’m just working through school.”
Kahn: When they found out I wrote for a TV show, a couple of them came over and talked to
me. With their clothes on.
Cheeky and quip-rife though much of You Say Tomato is, it also explores the harrowing and
heartbreaking health problems of their now 12-year-old son, Ezra. Beginning at birth, he endured
a variety of serious maladies that put his life at risk. Dealing with them crushed Kahn and
Gurwitch emotionally and strained them financially.
Born with an esophageal stricture (which made it impossible for food to enter his stomach) and
no anus, Ezra would have died without immediate surgery. More complications ensued.
“Our lives quickly turned into complete s--t, literally and figuratively,” Kahn writes of those
trying first days. “After three weeks in the hospital, the nurses bundled up tiny Ezra, handed him
to us, and wished us luck. Annabelle asked if there was some kind of ‘no anus’ class for new
parents like us, and the nurses just laughed. ‘Anus class, you two are funny.’ And then they
walked away. We were on our own. From here on out, we’d have to wing it.”
If not for the protective and regenerative power of humor, Ezra’s ongoing trials might have torn
their theretofore solid but imperfect union asunder.
“Anna Karenina couldn’t hold a candle to my moroseness,” Gurwitch writes of her post-birth
mental state. According to Kahn, “There was no sleep, at all, ever. We had been transformed
17
from insecure, neurotic, self-involved, artistic but kindly individuals into snarling, seething, selfinvolved emotional vampires out for each other’s blood.”
Things are far better now. Ezra’s health is much improved. He even plays baseball. And his
parents are still together, still arguing, still mutually attracted to one another. They could have
divorced. Parents of seriously ill kids often do. So do folks in show business. Gurwitch and Kahn
have feet in both camps. Somehow, though, they continue to beat the odds.
“My father is a divorce lawyer, so I grew up just listening to how awful these divorce cases were
that he was handling” Kahn says. “So, in my mind it always was like, ‘Well, marriage is bad, but
at least it’s better than being divorced,’ which just seems awful to me after growing up listening
to it constantly.
Co-penning a book, they agree, helped them see each other in a new and sometimes (not always)
more flattering light.
“It’s not a bad idea to actually take pen to paper to the person you love, or the person you want to
divorce — whichever way it goes — and express yourself,” Gurwitch says. “I think we’ve gotten
into this sort of shorthand expression between spouses. Between people you’re in a relationship
with. You’re busy texting each other, you Facebook each other, you e-mail each other.”
The collaborative process, however, was far from easy.
“It’s been harder than having a child together,” Gurwitch says. “It’s like running a small
business, and Jeff and I have very different ideas of how we delineate time. For instance, I told
him many times that, ‘I’ll read your next chapter if you take your pants off,’ is not really the way
I want to work together.”
On the subject of disrobing, Gurwitch wants to make amends for Kahn’s bachelor party debacle.
Gurwitch: It was a big mistake and I admit it now. And if I could do it again — Jeff, if you want
a bachelor party, I’ll throw it for you. Just let me know and I’ll arrange it.
Kahn: I’ll do it if you’re one of the strippers.
Gurwitch: Oh, honey. Jeff only wants to see me strip from the front. Because I look better from
the front than the back. [to Kahn] But if you only see me from the front, I’m totally game. I’m
ready to do it.
Link: http://www.suntimes.com/entertainment/books/2136069,you-say-tomato-040410.article
18
CINDY READS
March 22, 2010
March 22, 2010...11:53 am
You Say Tomato, I Say Shut Up
Jump to Comments
Remember that classic line in the movie Jerry McGuire where Tom Cruise, all glassy eyed and
serious, says to Renee Zellweger, “You…complete me.” Oftentimes throughout the course of our
marriage, I’ve uttered the same words, only changing one thing: ”You…annoy me.” And I
know, as highly impossible as it may seem, my husband feels the same way.
I have a hard time making decisions such as comitting to a paint color for my living room walls.
Yet I leapt into marriage, making a decision at age twenty-four that had and continues to
have, tremendous impact on my entire life. So it was with great anticipation, I got a hold of You
Say Tomato, I say Shut Up by Annabelle Gurwich and Jeff Kahn. It’s a memoir of their
marriage from the very beginning. And its so funny! Although things take a sober turn when
their son is born. But then we get back on track with the laughs.
19
Annabelle and Jeff take turns writing so you read Annabelle’s point of view on a situation then
Jeff’s. I whole heartedly agree with Annabelle on all things sports-related. Like, why is ESPN
on twenty four hours of every single day and why does my husband have to watch it in his spare
time when he could be doing something else, like say…drying the dishes or pulling weeds? Why
was my husband so hell-bent on having a son who excelled in sports from the get-go? To spite
him, I’d always said I hoped our son turned out to be a gay fashion designer. As luck would have
it, he is more into sports than fashion. But I think I could write my own one-sided memoir of
marriage. And kids.
Anyway, its a humorous book and if you are married or single or want to be married or are
thinking of getting married or are just really into Annabelle and Jeff who are, incidentally, actors
and writers, check it out. And now, a short video. I want to know what color those walls are by
the way? That’s the color I want for my living room.
Link: http://cindyreads.wordpress.com/2010/03/22/you-say-tomato-i-say-shut-up/
20
THE DIRTY T-SHIRT
March 31, 2010
You Say Tomato, I Say Shut Up A Love Story | Book Review
March 31, 2010 by admin - Jennifer
Filed under Reviews
Leave a Comment
Authors: Annabelle Gurwitch & Jeff Kahn
Item Reviewed: You Say Tomato, I Say Shut Up A Love Story
After thirteen years of marriage, Annabelle Gurwitch and Jeff Kahn have found, “We’re just not
that into us.”
Instead of giving up, they’ve held their relationship together by ignoring conventional wisdom
and fostering a lack of intimacy, using parenting as a competitive sport, and dropping out of
couples therapy. The books includes their moving yet unsentimental account of the medical
odyssey that their family embarked upon after their infant son was diagnosed with VACTERL, a
rare series of birth defects. Annabelle and Jeff’s unforgivingly raw, uproariously funny martial
memoir proves that in marriage, all you need is love—and a healthy dose of complaining, codependence, and Pinot Noir.
Serving up equal parts sincerity and cynicism, their he said, she said memoir is sure to strike
both laughter and terror into the hearts of any couple (not to mention every single man or woman
who is contemplating the connubial state).
21
Annabelle Gurwitch is an actress and writer, best known for her years cohosting Dinner and a
Movie on TBS and her Fired! book and documentary film. Her acting credits include Seinfeld,
Boston Legal, and The Shaggy Dog. She’s been a humor columnist for The
NationMagazine.com and a regular commentator on NPR.
Jeff Khan won an Emmy Award for his writing on The Ben Stiller Show. As an actor, he has
appeared in The 40-Year-Old Virgin and Tropic Thunder, as well as in the HBO series Curb
Your Enthusiasm and Entourage.
My Thoughts
This book literally cracked me up! From the very beginning with their differing stories of how
they met to the very end, I laughed. Not only did I laugh but I actually agreed with how they
wrapped up marriage in insanity, in a good way of course. I know for me and my marriage, even
after being together for 15 years (married for 12) things can still be seen two different ways by
both parties, and it most definitely isn’t always so glamorous! But together you make it work! I
love how this book goes back and forth from “He Says” to “She Says” which gives a clearer idea
of what was going on in their heads during that event or time. And I loved the chapter where they
were doing a martial therapy exercise totally made me laugh out loud! I admire Jeff Khan for
endlessly pursing the woman he loves and winning her in the end, much to her dismay
I recommend You Say Tomato, I Say Shut Up to everyone. It is a great book, with a great love
story, one that I thoroughly enjoyed reading!
Link: http://thedirtytshirt.com/you-say-tomato-i-say-shut-up-a-love-story-book-review
22
EVENTFUL.COM
March 3, 2010
23
EXAMINER.COM
March 26, 2010
Comedic authors Annabelle Gurwitch & Jeff Kahn talk Tiger
Woods; Jesse James
Billings Celebrity Headlines Examiner
March 26, 4:14 AM
MarQ Piocos
Annabelle Gurwitch & Jeff Kahn courtesy ID-PR
Whoever said marriage was easy never met authors Annabelle Gurwitch and Jeff Kahn.
Gurwitch, best known for her stint on “Dinner and a Movie” and her documentary “Fired!” and
her husband Kahn, writer and producer for “The Ben Stiller Show”, have just published a book,
“You Say Tomato, I say Shut up!” The book is a series of essays both have written about their
marriage, including the headaches and yes, the benefits of a lasting relationship. Gurwitch and
Kahn hope to kick the delusion of the “happily ever after” syndrome.
“These wedding planning movies end in, ‘They get married and they find the right person,’”
Gurwitch noted. “No one is saying how crappy marriage is. We’d thought we’d lay it on the line;
for comedic purposes of course. We wanted to go out there and say, ‘Hey, this stuff is really hard
and cathartic and they weren’t the only ones suffering.”
24
Sandra Bullock & Jesse James courtesy AP
A hot topic of discussion these days have been the celebrity cheating husbands. Gurwitch says
that Sandra Bullock should have known what she was getting into when she married Jesse
James; who has allegedly been cheating on her.
“I think that marriage was doomed from the beginning,” Gurwitch stated. “A lot of women thing
you see a guy like an old house; a fixer upper. They just think, ‘Hey. When I get my hands on
him, and once I marry him; I’m going to turn him into something else.’ This guy had a bad boy
side to him, so big surprise.”
Elin & Tiger Woods courtesy AP
As for Tiger Woods, Gurwitch and Kahn don’t blame Woods for his desires for other women.
“Is it really a surprise that Tiger Woods is looking to get laid a lot? Really?,” Gurwithch said.
“He is an alpha male. It is his duty to have as many children with as many women as possible.
He has great genes. He should have kids all over the world. If he hasn’t earned the right to a lot
of women, I don’t know who has.”
“Once you have entered the status-phere of a Tiger Woods, the world opens up to you like a
giant vagina,” Kahn added. “Now you are supposed to be some kind of Saint? Keeping your own
desires completely bottled up forever and ever when you say I do is a difficult task.”
There is hope, however, according to Kahn and Gurwitch. The two have found a rhythm in their
own marriage and Kahn admits to finding a great catch in Gurwitch. Gurwitch finds herself
seeing the highs and lows of marriage as more of an accommodating adventure.
25
“In a marriage or in any kind of relationship all together; you can have two totally different
experiences of it at the same time.”
The book “You say Tomoato, I say Shut up!” by Annabelle Gurwitch and Jeff Kahn is available
online through Amazon.com or at the Billing’s Barnes and Noble store at 530 24th Street West.
For more info: To hear what Annabelle Gurwitch and Jeff Kahn have to say about how
they got together and how they cope in their marriage, go to the "Somewhere in Vegas" podcast
at http://www.blogtalkradio.com/somewhereinvegas
Link: http://www.examiner.com/x-29206-Billings-Celebrity-Headlines-Examiner~y2010m3d26Comedic-authors-Annabell-Gurwitch--Jeff-Kahn-talk-Tiger-Woods-Jesse-James
26
FOX STRATEGY ROOM
APRIL 1, 2010
Link: http://video.foxnews.com/v/4133161/joy-and-complications-of-marriage
27
GALLEY CAT
March 15, 2010
Local Bookselling in the Age of Web Video
By Jason Boog on Mar 15, 2010 09:23 AM
In a world dominated by online bookselling and giant bookstore chains, one New
Jersey bookstore used local businesses to make a web video promoting an author
visit.
In Maplewood, New Jersey, Words Bookstore took the book tour back to its local
roots--enlisting the help of a local restaurant, flower-shop, and other community
members to build an audience for a reading. Click here to watch the do-it-yourself
book trailer for the new book by Annabelle Gurwitch and Jeff Kahn's You Say
Tomato, I Say Shut Up: A Love Story.
Here's more about the bookstore: "we hope to ensure that our community's love of
books and reading is passed down to future generations. As a 'for-profit' enterprise,
we offer our customers high quality products and outstanding service at reasonable
prices that will permit Words to be sustainable."
Link:http://www.mediabistro.com/galleycat/book_trailer/local_bookselling_in_the_age_of_web_v
ideo_155037.asp?c=rss
28
HUFFINGTON POST
December 22, 2009
The Year End Round-Up in Marriage
Annabelle Gurwitch and Jeff Kahn
Posted: December 22, 2009 01:18 PM
It has been a banner year for marital tankings. We're talking supreme tankage here. Famous
flameouts from the world of politics, sports, and celebrities provided countless hours of
entertainment, overtime work for journalists, and taught millions of us the names of minor porn
stars heretofore unknown (Ladies and gents... Jamie Jungers?).
So, let's do a round-up of the extreme highs and the lowest of the lows of marital woes 2009.
1. Tiger Woods and Elin Nordegren
This was marriage blow-up #1 with a bullet!
She Says: I don't have problem with Tiger. Men like sex. Men like to have sex with women
they're not married to. Where was the news here? Besides, isn't the possibility of acquiring as
much quality vagina as possible why men want to be successful and rich? Alas, Americans look
down on this, publicly. However, as much as we drag our prized pets through the mud, we love
seeing them redeem themselves. I predict that six months into the new year, Tiger -- post-sex
rehab with Dr. Drew -- will regain his endorsements and Gatorade will change their slogan to,
"I'll have what he's having."
He Says: Tiger must be stopped; it's just not fair! As a lowly beta male I can't even imagine the
temptation Tiger Woods has to deal with on a daily, perhaps hourly, even minute-to-minute
basis. The world is his vagina. The eminent evolutionary psychologist, Robert Wright theorizes
that monogamy evolved to prevent males like Tiger Woods who can have literally thousands of
wives which would leave men like me, Jeff Kahn, with none. Wright believes and rightly so that
nothing is more dangerous to society than a pack of frustrated Jeff Kahns roaming around
without a chance in hell of procreating.
2. Mark and Jenny Sanford
This was fun from Mark's first lie to his last.
29
She Says: It's sad! Though the governor will pine and beg Jenny to let him have more time to fall
in love with her again, he will be spurned and spend the next year nostalgically campaigning to
have the signage in the Appalachian trial translated into Spanish.
He Says: It's stupid! Mark's biggest mistake was flying back to South Carolina from Argentina.
He should have resigned as Governor, gotten a divorce, married his Argentinean hottie, and then
rode that wave of political passion all the way to being president of Argentina. They love this
kind of thing down there. No one sings, "Don't Cry For Me South Carolina" do they?
3. Frank and Jamie McCourt
Foul Play.
He Says: If money were an aphrodisiac, this couple would never leave their bed, but instead
they're trying to screw each other legally. Jamie wants her job back as CEO of the Dodgers, plus
$488,925 a month for living expenses ($330,000 goes toward her residences and vacation
homes). It's gonna get ugly, folks. I feel bad for their children. And by children I mean the
Dodgers.
She Says: My favorite aspect of this contentious debate is that his lawyers are accusing her of
having an affair with her driver, which McCourt's attorney has deemed, "an inappropriate
relationship with a subordinate employee." What would he say if she had an affair with a player?
I'm rooting for Jaime and her driver. I'm tired of men in powerful positions sleeping with
employees. Thank you Jamie, for breaking the glass bedspring.
4. Jon and Kate
The real reality of the couple trying to create reality is that they suck at it.
She Says: The worst part of their divorce, sadly, is that many of us who managed to miss the
show know the name Gosselin, which is a terrible sign of how reality TV culture has migrated
into mainstream news. I predict Jon will meet Madonna at Kabbalah and after losing custody of
his own kids become the manny for her children, Kate will lose custody of her children to the
Octomom who will need to get more children in her brood to compete with the new 19-kid show
on TLC.
He Says: I never watched their show, I don't read about them in gossip magazines, but just
seeing their photos on the cover at the supermarket checkout makes me never want to watch or
read anything about them ever again.
5. Madonna and Guy Richie
This marriage didn't have Like a Prayer.
He Says: Richie gave her a baby and a really bad movie to star in -- what more could a material
girl want? No seriously, I think what Madonna was really after in this union was a chance to try
out her British accent and when the world collectively cringed, it was only a matter of time
before Madge dropped the hubby and the accent, and hopped the pond back to the States.
30
She Says: Madge looks great. Just great. What is she doing and who is doing it? Divorce?
Whatever? Who's her dermatologist?
6. Avril and Deryck
Ah, the stupidity of youth.
He says: Avril Lavigne and Deryck Whibley, winners of the 2009 Very-Odd-Celebrity-Namesand-Who-Cares-That-They're-Getting-a-Divorce Award.
She Says: I think their divorce is robbing the world of equally incomprehensibly-spelled
children's names: Abigile, Alleysun, Dawren, Duglous. It's a loss, really.
7. Senator John Ensign's affair with his friend and colleague's wife, Cindy Hamilton
Family Values go to Hell
He Says: On the Senate floor, John Ensign declared,
"Marriage is the cornerstone on which our society was founded. For those who say that the
Constitution is so sacred that we cannot or should not adopt the Federal Marriage Amendment. It
is not right to mold marriage to fit the desires of a few, against the wishes of so many, and to
ignore the important role of marriage."
Sitting at my desk, Jeff Kahn declares, "John Ensign you're a huge fu#*ing hypocrite and the
next time you're casting stones at gay marriage not being sacred remember to throw a big fat
rock in your own lying cheating face. Good day, sir!"
She Says: Ensign was simply following in the footsteps of Nevada's governor, Jim Gibbons, who
last spring was accused by his wife of sending more than 800 text messages to a mistress in
2007. Just another way that technology has let us down.
8. Marriage itself
2009 saw marital happiness lower than ever (same sex couples can marry in Iowa and D.C. but
not in the West Village), but even more troubling, low property values and joint health care plans
are forcing many couples to stay together. When the American Academy of Matrimonial
Lawyers polled its 1,600 members, nearly 40 percent said that filings were down by 40 percent.
We hope the economy recovers so couples can return to business as usual in America. And by
that we mean screwing up their relationships and getting the chance to divorce repeatedly (like
family values champion Rush Limbaugh, who announced that he'll marry wife #4 on July 4th,
2010).
Link: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/annabelle-gurwitch/the-year-end-round-upin_b_400820.html
31
HUFFINGTON POST
February 12, 2010
Annabelle Gurwitch and Jeff Kahn
Posted: February 12, 2010 08:41 AM
BIO Become a Fan
Get Email Alerts Bloggers' Index
Valentines Day Relationship Quiz
What's Your Reaction:
Read More: Valentine's Day , Valentine's Day Ideas , Valentines Day , Style News
It's Valentine's Day, and if you want fantasy, go see the movie which is starring everyone in
Hollywood except Lil' Wayne. If you want reality, pre-order our book You Say Tomato, I Say
Shut Up on Amazon. (Shameless plug, we know.) We've spent a lot of time thinking about
relationships lately in preparation for the book. We've been married for thirteen years. In Los
Angeles, thirteen years of marriage is like winning a gold medal in cross-country skiing, only
harder. And after thirteen years of marriage, we've concluded: "we're just not that into us."
Not sure how your relationship is stacking up compared to ours? Add your scores together and
you'll see whether you should be saving up for retirement together or packing your bags right
now. Good luck!
1. How good are you at influencing your partner?
a. I'm Alan Dershowitz!
b. Only when there are copious amounts of alcohol.
c. Almost as good as I am at predicting earthquakes.
d. I'd have better luck getting Rush Limbaugh to admit he's been wrong about anything he's ever
said.
2. Are you competitive with each other?
a. We're co-captain cheerleaders on Team Marriage--Go us!
32
b. It's hard to say, but I think I'm winning.
c. Yankees versus the Red Sox, but worse and without the multimillion-dollar merchandising
revenue.
d. Have you heard about that little feud between God and Satan? Yeah, it's like that.
3. When things don't go your way, do you sulk or withdraw?
a. Never. I'm a happy, well-adjusted person raised by happy, well-adjusted, and loving parents.
b. There are times when I sulk and my spouse withdraws and when my spouse pouts, I withdraw,
but never at the same time or for more than a month or two.
c. I sulk and withdraw only when I'm awake.
d. Like a kid whose parents have confiscated all of his video games and given them away to lessfortunate children.
4. Do you have fun?
a. Always--being with my spouse is like renting our very own fun house in the middle of the
funnest street in Funtown, USA!
b. It's possible if enough antidepressants are mixed with several other, less-legal drugs.
c. If you call Guantánamo Bay fun, then yes, we have fun.
d. What's this strange word fun? Nope, never heard of it.
5. How much anger and irritability do you feel?
a. Our relationship is like a Buddhist temple on the Buddha's birthday.
b. We get pissed at each other, but we're not Baldwin and Basinger.
c. Let's just say it's a very good thing we believe in gun control. A very, very good thing.
d. I'm Mount Vesuvius and he/she is Mount St. Helens, and it's go time, baby!
6. Do you feel included in each other's lives?
a. There is never a moment when we are not together in body, mind, and spirit. We're not two
beings; we are one joined in holy matrimony.
33
b. Kind of, but I feel that the cover charge is way too steep, and the drinks at Club Spouse
Inclusion are really watered down.
c. I remember once being asked about something while we were planning the wedding. That was
the last time-- ever.
d. I have a better chance of being invited to take over North Korea.
SCORES
For every "a" give yourself one point; "b" two points; "c" three points and "d" four points. Then
add it up and see where you rank.
6- 9: You're in an amazing, glorious, perfectly blissful union, now get a room and stop gloating.
10 - 18: OK, you have some problems and it's probably going to get worse, so get some therapy
quick and buy a really good vibrator.
19 - 26: It's bad, very bad-- she takes a golf club to your new Escalade, bad. The good news is
our book may help.
27 - 28: You have entered Jeff and Annabelle territory, from which there is no escape. Call your
lawyer immediately.
Link: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/annabelle-gurwitch/valentines-dayrelationsh_b_459480.html
34
HUFFINGTON POST
March 17, 2010
Annabelle Gurwitch
Annabelle is an actress and writer; Jeff wrote for Remote Control
Posted: March 17, 2010 11:43 AM
Beverly Hills Adjacent Medical Bills
Read More: Health Care , Health Care Reform , Los Angeles , Politics News
As the mother of a kid with chronic health condition, I'm deeply invested in health care reform.
Just one night in our lives provides an example of the failures of our health care system, the
connection between jobs and health care, and game of chicken we're playing with our future.
In less than a 24 hour period, we managed to rack up a $22,000 bill at what turns out to be the
most expensive place to spend the night in Los Angeles. How did we run through that kind of
dough on a night that included not one meal, massage, face lift or bottle of Veuve Clicquot? We
checked into our local hospital pediatric ward.
Our twelve year old son was experiencing severe abdominal pain. His physician, fearing a bowel
obstruction, ordered an x-ray. After that x-ray didn't yield useful information and because the
wait time for an appointment with a local specialist was over three weeks due to the fact that he
sees Medi-Cal patients, our kid became one of the millions of Americans who on a daily basis
seek pricey care at a hospital emergency room.
When we were advised our child would need to spend the night for observation, none of the staff
laughed when I asked if we would get a break on the price since he wouldn't be eating or
drinking. Since earlier in the day, the imaging center (which has a relationship with the hospital)
refused to give us a copy of the film, he needed to have an identical x-ray to the one he'd had
only three hours prior. At midnight a CT scan was ordered. Finally, in the wee hours of the
morning, as my son settled into his bed, I collapsed into a contorted heap on a cot reminiscent of
Papillon's prison slab. Luckily, he was able to weather this episode without surgical intervention,
and we departed less than 24 hours after our arrival.
Let's do the numbers:
35
The room charge was 4,209 dollars. Just for perspective, you can get a private villa and full day
spa vacation for less than that down the street at The Peninsula Hotel, although with sheets that
had a thread count of about two, you could say it was exfoliating. The afternoon x-ray cost
approximately 600 dollars, while the exact same hospital film tallied in at a whopping 1,286. The
emergency room service was 4,064 dollars. The CT scan was billed at 8,928 dollars. Call me
naïve, but that seems a tad pricey. We spent exactly ½ hour in there. Add in lab fees, all told, just
over 22,000. Dollars. Plus the 80 dollars to the chiropractor I had to shell out after I woke up
shaped up like pretzel.
The cost is only half of the frustration. Because of the Byzantine nature of the hospital's billing
system we've received over a dozen invoices so lacking in transparency they might as well be
written in Cyrillic. Each notice contained contrary and conflicting insurance information that
required me to call in the correct information for every single charge. Our insurance company
then issued reams of letters questioning each charge, followed by a slew of explanation of benefit
statements, none of which seem to relate to the bills we have previously received. In fact, when I
called the insurance company to trace the provenance of one particularly impenetrable bill, the
adjuster admitted they hadn't called the provider either and the phone number they had on file
turned out to be a random person's private cell phone!
This is not news for our family. Since our son's birth and diagnosis with VACTERL a
constellation of birth defects, we've racked up over a dozen surgeries. Rarely a week goes by
when I don't receive a threatening letter or two from the hospital even though they know full well
the insurance company is still evaluating the claim. It is so confusing and overwhelming, that I
used to pay before the insurance adjustments had been made because they'd just plain worn me
down. What is news is that I can't afford to do that anymore and now lose work hours each day
on hold with claims adjusters.
Our insurance will likely pony up something in the range of 5,000 dollars but if history is any
teacher, our bill won't be resolved until sometime in 2011 and I wonder how the dedicated
professionals who follow our son's case can stay in business. And what if we don't continue to
find enough work to qualify for our employment based plan? We now fall into that category of
uninsurable people with "pre-existing conditions."
Though at this point, my union's health care plan is more Pinto than Escalade, I am concerned
about how the proposed Cadillac tax might affect us but I've seen how failure to embrace change
can be as damaging as taking a dangerous leap of faith. Fear of changes to our earned benefits
has stymied the much needed merger of the two competing Actor's Unions. The result has been
less bargaining power, less work for members and consequently less money to fund health
insurance which in turn gave us higher deductibles and larger co-pays. So I'm throwing caution
to the wind. I'm willing to risk being taxed because even though I only live "Beverly Hills
adjacent," I've got luxury-sized bills on a compact budget.
Link: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/annabelle-gurwitch/beverly-hills-adjacentme_b_502486.html
36
THE JEWISH DAILY FORWARD
March 17, 2010
Surreal Soiree
On The Go
By Masha Leon
Published March 17, 2010, issue of March 26, 2010.
“Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell, Don’t Daven!” Susie Essman Regales at Jewish
Museum Purim Ball
Introduced by comedienne Judy Gold, it was the surreal Purim shpiel of Susie Essman that had the
guests at the March 3 Jewish Museum’s Purim Ball at the Waldorf-Astoria spinning graggers and roaring
with laughter. Titled “Surreal Soiree,” the gala was listed as paying homage to “painter, poet,
photographer, sculptor, Surrealist, Jew, Man Ray” (nee Emmanuel Radnitzky; his Russian-immigrant
father was a garment worker), the subject of the museum’s recent exhibit “Alias Man Ray: The Art of
Reinvention.” Best known for her character Susie Greene in HBO’s “Curb Your Enthusiasm,” Essman
opened with a monologue:
KAREN LEON
Unmasked: Francine Klagsbrun and Arnold Eisen.
“Thousands of years ago — which Iran won’t fess up to —Aha-Tzuris [her articulation of King
Ahasuerus] asked his wife, Vashti, to appear naked before his friends. She refused. He had her killed. He
had anger-management problems. He then ordered a pageant for virgins, so inadequate was he in bed, he
figured [virgins] wouldn’t know the difference…. [She was] told by her uncle, Mordechai: ‘Don’t ask.
Don’t tell. Don’t Daven, so Aha-Tzuris won’t know you’re a Jew,’ Esther became Queen of Iran…. And
what better way to mock evil than with pastry [hamantaschen].”
The ball honored philanthropic couple Cathy and Marc Lasry. It was announced by Joshua Nash,
museum chairman and event co-chair, that “in the face of [current] economic challenges,” the gala raised
more than $1.1 million.
Cathy Lasry is the author of several novels for adolescent girls, president of the Eleanor Roosevelt
Legacy Committee and a trustee of Say Yes to Education and of the Roundabout Theatre Company. Marc
37
Lasry immigrated to the United States from Morocco as a child. In 1995, he co-founded, a global
alternative investment firm with more than $20 billion in assets. He currently serves on the boards of
Mount Sinai Medical Center, the William J. Clinton Foundation and the 92nd Street Y. Joan
Rosenbaum, Helen Goldsmith Menschel Director of the museum, announced that a “virtual journal of
the evening’s artwork and more will be on view online.”
Adding to the surreal atmosphere, props included two turbaned seminude models seated atop
pedestals, their bare backs painted with the two F-Holes (front vents) of a violin in homage to
Man Ray’s 1924 photo image “Le Violon d’Ingres” (“Ingre’s Violin”). On the way to the reception
area, I saw a gigantic lip-shaped red sofa, embellished with a balloon shaped and decorated like
bloodshot eyeball, and a huge clock with red legs as its hands. Suspended from the Grand
Ballroom’s ceiling was a 10-foot black umbrella, and beneath it hung silk white butterflies.
Tables covered with black-and-white diamond-patterned or zebra-striped cloths were the
background for surreal centerpieces: replicas of candelabras that Man Ray made, each colored
green and in the shape of a hand, amid black flowers, and glass bowls in which gleamed a green
hand embellished with little glass eyeballs. Among the mask wearers willing to be “unmasked”
were writer and museum board member Francine Klasgbrun and museum adviser Arnold Eisen,
chancellor of the Jewish Theological Seminary.
Launch of “You Say Tomato, I Say Shut Up” at UJA-Federation of New York a SideSplitter With a Farklempt Postscript
The March 2 book reading by husband-and-wife authors Annabelle Gurwitch and Jeff Kahn — who are
also actors and comedians — from their joint opus, “You Say Tomato, I Say Shut Up” (Crown Publishing
Group), hosted by the UJA-Federation of New York Young Healthcare Division March Arts Events at
UJA-Federation’s 59th Street headquarters, began with chuckles and laughter. Amid interruptions,
accusations and reflections on their marriage came the revelation that the couple’s son was born with
multiple birth defects. The emotional temperature in the room could best be described as farklempt.
Inheritors of the marital jousting style of Anne Meara and Jerry Stiller, Gurwitch, best known as the
original hostess of TBS’s “Dinner and a Movie,” and Kahn, who is an Emmy Award-winning writer of
the “The Ben Stiller Show” and appeared in the film “The 40-Year-Old Virgin,” pulled no punches as
they painted the trajectory of their peripatetic romance and marriage and detailed the Jobian travails that
tested their marriage when their son, Ezra, was born.
But prevail they did. In a stand-up comedic vocabulary often unprintable in this column, they detail their
unrelenting struggle to stay married and give their son a normal life. As Kahn wrote in the book and told
the audience that night, “Today Ezra is a teenager who… made it to the Little League.” The book is a fun
read. Split into “She Said”, “He Said” headings, each chapter has a not so subtle bon mot hinting at its
content:
[BLOCK]“Marriage is a great institution, but I’m not ready for an institution.” — Mae West.
“Marriage is the only war in which you sleep with the enemy.” — Calvin Trillin “ Life is divided into
the horrible and the miserable.” — Woody Allen[END BLOCK]
Even Isaac Bashevis Singer gets into the act, with what I assume he originally wrote in Yiddish:
“Suffering, emptiness, darkness are nothing more than interruptions of a cosmic orgasm that grows
forever in intensity.” Though I am fluent in Yiddish, I haven’t a clue how to translate this Singer-esque bit
of wisdom back into mameloshn .
Link: http://forward.com/articles/126668/
38
IT’S IN MIAMI.COM
March 15, 2010
Agenda March 15th to March 21th
Aretha Franklin
March 15.- 18th Florida Renaissance Festival. Return to Merry Olde England and see
hundreds of performers, magicians, sword fighters and more. Play games and much more. 10am,
Quiet Waters Park. Ph: 954-776-1642
March 16.- Aretha Franklin “The Queen of Soul” performing live in concert. 8pm. Hard Rock
Live, 1 Seminole Way
Hollywood. www.livenation.com
March 16.- Florida Panthers vs. Washington Capitals. NHL Hockey Game. 7.30pm
BankAtlantic Center. One Panther Parkway Sunrise, Ph: 954-835-PUCK
March 16.- Annabelle Gurwitch and Jeff Kahn, discussing and signing “You Say Tomato,
I Say Shut Up”. 8pm Books & Books. 265 Aragon Avenue, Coral Gables. Ph: 305-442-4408
March 16.- Miami Heat vs. San Antonio Spurs. NBA Basketball Game. 7.30pm American
Airlines Arena. 601 Biscayne Boulevard, Ph: 786-777-HOOP
March 17.- Happy San Patrick’s Day.
March 18.- Bárbara Palacios presenting “La Belleza de Saber Vivir, 9 pasos para conducir
tu vida” Former Miss Universe 1986, Barbara Palacios will be presenting, discussing and
signing her new book about the beauty of live and how to drive it wisely in 9 steps. She
captivated the whole world in 1986 upon becoming Miss Universe in the city of Panama.
Barbara rose from her native Venezuela to the world scene with the magnetic force of her clear
and masterly structured personality, and her impeccable self-confidence and on-stage dominance.
39
6:00pm – 8:00pm, Sistema Universitario Ana G. Méndez. Miramar Park of Commerce 3520
Enterprise Way. Miramar.
March 18.- Miami Heat vs. Orlando Magic. NBA Basketball Game. 7pm American Airlines
Arena. 601 Biscayne Boulevard Ph: 786-777-HOOP
March 19.- In the Heights. This winner of four 2008 Tony Awards including Best Musical, is a
exciting new show about chasing your dreams and finding your true home. 8pm, Broward Center
Au-Rene Theater. 201 Southwest 5th Avenue, Fort Lauderdale Ph: 954-462-0222
March 19.- Free Friday’s @Miami Children’s Museum. Come and explore hundreds of
bilingual, interactive exhibits related to arts, culture, community and communication. 6:30pm
Miami Children’s Museum. 980 MacArthur Causeway, Ph: 305-373-KIDS
March 20.- Antonia Wright and Ruben Millares. The exhibition is centered on the exploration
of the human experience in the built and natural worlds. 7-10pm, 777 Studio Gallery. 166
Alhambra Circle, Coral Gables Ph: 305-444-0333
March 20.- MISO Presents “New Artist Series”.Featuring the Miami Symphony Orchestra.
Guest artists include celebrated Chinese pianist and Liberace Prize winner Tian Lu. 8pm Maurice
Gusman Concert Hall. 1314 Miller Drive, Coral Gables, Ph: 305-275-5666
March 20.- Miami Heat vs. Charlotte Bobcats. NBA Basketball Game. 7.30pm American
Airlines Arena. 601 Biscayne Boulevard Ph: 786-777-HOOP
March 20.- Rodrigo y Gabriela. Performing live in concert. 8.30pm The Fillmore Miami Beach
at The Jackie Gleason Theater. 1700 Washington Avenue, Miami Beach, www.ticketmaster.com
March 20.- 13 The Musical. “A grown-up story about growing up, the only all-teenage show
ever to hit Broadway!” Broadway Musical Theatre has an ever-growing reputation for putting
youth theatre productions of the very highest quality on the stage. 8 – 10pm, Ransom Everglades
Auditorium. 3575 Main Highway, Coconut Grove Ph: 786-223-9663
March 20.- Wizard ReMIX Saturday. 3:30 p.m. It’s the moment you’ve all been waiting for!
The MCM Players proudly presents “Wizard ReMIX”, performance based on the Wizard of OZ.
Join the MCM Players Dorothy and her friends as they navigate the land of Oz with MC.
3:30pm, Miami Children’s Museum, 980 MacArthur Causeway. Ph: (305) 373-5437
40
March 20-21.- 5th Annual Jazz in the Gardens Music Festival. Music Festival hosted by
Tom Joyner. Confirmed artists include the queen of R&B, Mary J. Blige; Grammy awardwinning singer/songwriter, John Legend; R&B crooner, Robin Thicke; funk/R&B diva, Teena
Marie; 90’s R&B/pop super group, Boyz II Men; Grammy nominated R&B vocalist, Melanie
Fiona; jazz chanteuse, Cassandra Wilson; saxophone king, David Sanborn; already classic
newcomer, K’Jon; and famed pianist, keyboarder and founding member of the Jazz Crusaders,
Joe Sample. Local artist names will be released soon. Sun Life Stadium, 2269 Dan Marino Blvd,
Miami Gardens. www.jazzinthegardens.com.
March 21.- First Day of Spring…
March 21.- Creative Passover Cooking for Children. With the Open Tent Sunday, 3pm.
Miami Children’s Museum. 980 MacArthur Causeway. Ph: (305) 373-5437
March 21.- Peter and the Wolf. Presented by Momentum Dance Company and the Miami
Youth Symphony. Children aged 10 and under free with canned or other non-perishable food
donation for Lutheran Family Services of Florida. Appropriate for ages 4-10 and their families.
3.30pm, Miami-Dade County Auditorium. 2901 West Flagler Street,
http://www.momentumdance.com/ Ph: 305-545-3395
March 21.- World Water Day Celebration. UN-Water is dedicating World Water Day 2010 to
the theme of water quality, reflecting its importance alongside quantity of the resource in water
management.Hosted by The Power Business Women Group – PBWG, a women group of the
Doral Chamber of Commerce and WGC “Green Guide”10am – 3pm.- J.C Bermudez Park, 3000
NW 87th Avenue, Doral. http://www.worldwaterday2010.info/ Ph: 305-979-0630
Link: http://itsinmiami.com/agenda-march-15th-to-march-21st/
41
J WEEKLY.COM
March 12, 2010
Musically inclined, Authors, authors, Short shorts ...
by suzan berns
Musically inclined
Illana Zauderer Parker, who leads Kol Nidre services at Tiburon’s Congregation Kol Shofar, won the
annual “Best Music You’ve Never Heard” competition on KGO’s Ronn Owens show with the title track
from her CD “Hot in Here.” Some 35 tracks, culled out of hundreds of entries, were introduced as music
by local musicians “who ought to be famous but aren’t,” Parker says. Listeners voted for their favorite.
The album is a “sophisticated and sensual mixture of Broadway and jazz,” she writes. Parker grew up in
Cupertino and now lives in San Francisco, but calls Kol Shofar her “spiritual home.”
If you prefer country, classically trained musician Ray Taylor of San Rafael just released “Country
Birthday Song Album.” Taylor grew up singing in the choir at the old Temple Beth Israel on Geary Street
under Cantor Roman Cycowski. He says his music has always been “skewed to Jewish-sounding
music,” but he recently turned to country, which he believes is a lot like klezmer because “you basically
sing your story.”
Authors, authors
A lot of locals are publishing. Here are a few: Rabbi Daniel Kohn, who is rabbi-in-residence at Contra
Costa Jewish Day School and guest rabbi at the Jewish Congregation of the San Geronimo Valley, is
doing a book reading 4 p.m. March 21 at Book Passage in Corte Madera for his book, “Jewish FAQs: An
Internet Rabbi’s Answers to Frequently Asked Questions about Judaism” … L.A.-based married writers
and comedians Jeff Kahn and Annabelle Gurwitch — she’s the sister of Lisa Gurwitch of Belvedere —
also have a Book Passage gig. At 7 p.m. March 20 they’ll read from their book, “You Say Tomato, I Say
Shut Up: A Love Story” … Deborah Kaufman of Berkeley writes that her mom, Shirley Kaufman, has
released “Ezekiel’s Wheel.” An award-winning Israeli American poet, she has written nine books of
poetry and has translated many of Israel’s major poets into English, notes Deborah … Mill Valley’s Jeff
Saperstein’s newest book is “Bust the Silos,” which, according to the press material, provides a “new
concept for business growth in today’s global economy.” This is his third book with co-writer Hunter
Hastings … And finally (for today), Jason Turbow of Albany, a former j. freelance writer, has published
“The Baseball Codes,” which he says is about a “subject that has fascinated our people since, well, long
before Sandy Koufax.”
Short shorts ...
J.’s Diane Spagnoli reports that j. “volunteer extraordinaire” John Levin of San Francisco is being
honored by B’nai B’rith’s Greater San Francisco Lodge No. 21 for his many years of service to the group
and the Jewish community. Levin has volunteered for the j. twice a week for 20-plus years, and, notes
Diane, “is not deterred by inclement weather, Muni delays or extraneous circumstances.”
42
Eli Raber has been named the new national director of community initiatives for Birthright Israel Next.
He will oversee local programming in the group’s seven cities of operation from his San Francisco office
… Lynn Bunim, Jewish community leader and executive director of external affairs for AT&T, was
honored by the League of Women Voters of San Francisco as one of five “Women Who Could be
President” at the group’s 90th anniversary event last month … The Contra Costa JCC will honor
children’s theater director Barrett Lindsay Steiner at its Lights on Broadway Gala on March 20. The
CCJCC’s Shelley Wilson writes that in 20 years, Steiner has worked with more than “10,000 blossoming
young performers.” For information and tickets, visit http://www.ccjcc.org/gala.
Link: http://www.jweekly.com/article/full/57352/musically-inclined-authors-authors-short-
shorts-/
43
JOEY REYNOLDS RADIO
February 27, 2010
Link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dj_iaVnKbrg
44
THE JOY BEHAR SHOW
February 23, 2010
Link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dj_iaVnKbrg
45
KANSAS CITY STAR
March 1, 2010
Authors say conflict actually helps marriage
By DONNA LIQUORI
The Albany Times Union
Comedians Annabelle Gurwitch and Jeff Kahn want you to think they are miserable at the art of
marriage.
In their book, “You Say Tomato, I Say Shut Up: A Love Story,” they fight and compete but
never lose sight of the fact that their marriage is pretty strong.
“For some reason, people keep saying that,” Gurwitch said.
The book evolved after Kahn read an essay about a particular marital challenge.
“It was really funny,” Gurwitch said. “Jeff’s out there killing — everyone in the audience is
laughing really hard about how hard it is to get me to have sex with him. I had to follow him on
stage, and the only thing I could say was, ‘Oh, my God, my husband’s a great fiction writer.’
Then I decided after that night that I had to have a say, so I wrote a retort.”
“We thought it would be a good idea to channel our hatred into something constructive, taking
something that goes really sort of badly and turning it around for profit and for fun,” Kahn said.
46
“I like to make fun of everything that is horrible,” said Gurwitch, who after getting axed by
Woody Allen wrote “Fired! Tales of the Canned, Canceled, Downsized, & Dismissed.” “I
consider this part of the comedy of humiliation, writing a book about marriage.”
While self-help books urge couples to be pleasant to each other, “Tomato” is realistic.
“You just don’t hear people talking — and I don’t mean how you have to work at marriage —
but how damn hard it really is,” Gurwitch said.
“And how much it really does (stink),” added Kahn, whose father is an Albany, N.Y., divorce
attorney.
“It involves all those things we’re not good at — compromise, patience, reasoning things out and
organization — all of the skills we somehow lack genetically,” Gurwitch said.
The book also pokes fun at the details of the day-to-day habits that drive couples crazy.
“Jeff meows,” Gurwitch wrote in the book. “Jeff wasn’t just a visitor to Catlandia, he was a
citizen. Maybe its president. From the first tentative meow he’d make upon rising in the
morning, he’d keep it up, right until bedtime, when I’d hear little mewing sounds punctuated by
staccato meeps, one for each step he climbed to our bedroom.”
Later, Gurwitch described what happens to couples who cohabit for a long time:
Separated in the hills near their home during a hike as it was getting dark, Gurwitch called out to
her husband and he meowed.
“I meowed right back. Oh. My. God. The next thing I knew, I was meowing around the house,
too.”
Posted on Mon, Mar. 01, 2010 10:15 PM
Link: http://www.kansascity.com/2010/03/01/1782579/authors-say-conflict-actually.html
47
KPCC AIRTALK WITH LARRY MANTLE
March 4, 2010
Tuesday April 13th | Home » Programs » AirTalk » AirTalk for March 4, 2010 » You Say Tomato, I Say Shut Up
You Say Tomato, I Say Shut Up
Download
March 4, 2010
Annabelle Gurwitch and Jeff Kahn have been married for thirteen years. In other words, they’ve had ample time to
annoy the hell out of each other. In their new book, "You Say Tomato, I Say Shut Up," the actor-writer-comedian pair
take a humorous look back at their time served. At points, their relationship seemed doomed by their opposing
personalities – Kahn’s the romantic one, while Gurwitch leans pragmatic. But after trials and tribulations the two
learned to navigate the conflicts that come with romance, money, and children by embracing each other's differences,
taking on parenting as a competition, and dropping out of couples therapy. In alternating "He Says"/"She Says"
sections, Gurwitch and Kahn each offer a frank, witty take on surviving the married life.
Ah, the joys and pitfall of marriage.
Annabelle Gurwitch and Jeff Kahn will be discussing and signing You Say Tomato, I Say Shut Up tonight at
7:00pm at Book Soup in West Hollywood.
Guests:
Annabelle Gurwitch, co-author, You Say Tomato, I Say Shut Up: A Love Story (Crown)
Jeff Kahn, co-author, You Say Tomato, I Say Shut Up: A Love Story (Crown)
Link: http://www.scpr.org/programs/airtalk/2010/03/04/you-say-tomato-i-say-shut-up/
48
LAIST.COM
March 4, 2010
Pencil This In: Hear NoHo, Opera at Oxy, Annabelle Gurwitch
and Jeff Kahn at Book Soup
Photo by musique nonstop via LAist's flickr pool.
HEAR MUSIC
Hear NoHo is a monthly music festival (first Thursday of every month) that showcases emerging
music in small venues throughout North Hollywood. Check out the musical lineup that includes
Scott Turek, Alysse Fischer, Laced Confection and Kill the Complex. Tonight’s performances
will be held at the NoHo Arts Center, Art Institute of California-Hollywood and Cella Gallery.
Music starts at 7 pm. Tickets $10.
LECTURE
The Levantine Cultural Center brings Middle East expert and author Phyllis Bennis to present
her latest book (co-authored with David Wildman), Ending the US War in Afghanistan: A
Primer, followed by a Q&A. Bennis is a fellow of the Institute for Policy Studies in Washington,
D.C. and director of its New Internationalism Program. Her book addresses basic questions and
explains the various aspects of the war in Afghanistan. The event begins at 7:30 pm. Suggested
donation or book purchase $10.
THEATER
In conjunction with the Road to Freedom exhibit, Gin Hammond brings her original one-woman
play, Returning the Bones, to the Skirball. The play is based on the life and times of her aunt Dr.
Carolyn Montier, a medical student from rural Texas, who faced a tough decision to stay in the
49
South and continue to fight for civil rights, or escape to Paris and live the life she always
dreamed of 8 pm. Tickets $20; $15 members; $10 full-time students.
OPERA
Mezzo-soprano Frederica von Stade performs at Occidental College tonight at 8 pm in the
college’s Thorne Hall. The concert will include pieces "La Vie en Rose," Ravel's "Nicolette,"
and Sondheim's "Send in the Clowns." Tickets are $36.50, $26.50 for Oxy staff, alumni and
$11.50 for students and seniors.
MUSIC
The two-day CEAIT Festival from the CalArts Center for Experiments in Art, Information and
Technology begins tonight at REDCAT with concerts from various sound artists and musicans.
The festival opens with performances by John Wiese, Maria Chavez and Marcus Schmickler.
8:30 pm. Tickets $20, students $16.
BOOKS*
Comedians Annabelle Gurwitch and Jeff Kahn present their book You Say Tomato, I Say Shut
Up: A Love Story tonight at Book Soup. This memoir of their marriage shows that for a
successful union, couples need love, complaining, codependence and pinot noir. Here’s a snippet
on sex: “He says: I want to have sex every day, but Annabelle only wants to do it once a week.
So we compromise: we have sex once a week.”
*Pencil pick of the day
Check out LAist's film calendar, too.
Link: http://laist.com/2010/03/04/pencil_this_in_hear_noho_opera_at_o.php
50
LIBRARY JOURNAL
January 21, 2010
Short Takes: 24 Spring Memoirs
By Tania Barnes, Elizabeth Brinkley, Lauren Gilbert & Lynne Maxwell -Library Journal, 1/21/2010
The memoir genre rolls on with this batch of 24 from Team Memoir, who are joined by Tania
Barnes, Bette-Lee Fox, and Anna Katterjohn. Standard (and some would argue, tired) themes
like family dysfunction persist, but we get enticing twists from a Vanderbilt heir (Wendy
Burden's Dead End Gene Pool). Also, two firsts that this editor is aware of: a memoir of assisted
suicide, sure to hit a nerve with baby boomer caregivers, and of nonbiological lesbian
motherhood.—Heather McCormack
Gurwitch, Annabelle & Jeff Kahn. You Say Tomato, I Say Shut Up: A Love Story. Crown.
Feb. 2010. c.272p. ISBN 978-0-307-46377-7. $27. MEMOIR
As one would expect in a work co-written by two comedy writers, this hilarious relationship
memoir told in alternating chapters by pragmatic, standoffish Gurwitch and her romantic,
overeager suitor Kahn makes a mockery of traditional self-help relationship advice. The authors
offer up their experience as a guide for other couples, though its usefulness as a relationship
primer is questionable. However, true love really does trump all in this touching story, when
what seems like a doomed relationship blossoms into a 13-year (and counting) marriage,
withstanding even the stresses of raising a medically fragile child.—L.G.
Link: http://www.libraryjournal.com/article/CA6714751.html?q=+annabelle+tomato
51
LOS ANGELES MAGAZINE
February 2010
52
MARIE CLAIRE
February 2010
53
METROMIX (NEW YORK)
February 23, 2010
Link: http://newyork.metromix.com/events/literature_event/you-say-tomato-i-midtownwest/1733748/content
54
MIAMI HERALD
March 16, 2010
Author appearances
TUESDAY
Thomas Cahill and ``A Saint on Death Row.'' 6:30 p.m. Books & Books, 265 Aragon Ave.,
Coral Gables.
Poopa Dweck and ``Aromas of Aleppo.'' 7:30 p.m. Books & Books, 9700 Collins Ave., Bal
Harbour Shops.
Annabelle Gurwitch and ``You Say Tomato, I Say Shut Up.'' 8 p.m. Books & Books, Gables.
WEDNESDAY
Mike Lupica and ``The Batboy.'' 7 p.m. Books & Books, Gables.
THURSDAY
Bonnie Clearwater and ``Contemporary Art Boot Camp.'' 7 p.m. Books & Books, Bal Harbour
Shops.
FRIDAY
Joanna Smith Rakoff and ``A Fortunate Age.'' 6:30 p.m. Books & Books, Gables.
Preston L. Allen and ``Jesus Boy.'' 8 p.m. Books & Books, Gables.
SATURDAY
Naseem Rakha and ``The Crying Tree.'' 5 p.m. Books & Books, Gables.
Dr. Sameet Kumar and ``The Mindful Path Through Worry and Rumination.'' 7 p.m. Books &
Books, Gables.
SUNDAY
James Dean and Eric Litwin and ``Pete the Cat.'' 3 p.m. Books & Books, Gables.
Alex Stepick and ``Churches and Charity in the Immigrant City.'' 4 p.m. Books & Books,
Gables.
MONDAY
Virginia Jacko and ``The Blind Visionary.'' 6:30 p.m. Books & Books, Gables.
Chris Cleave and ``Little Bee.'' 8 p.m. Books & Books, Gables.
Link: http://www.miamiherald.com/2010/03/16/1530757/author-appearances.html
55
MINGLE MEDIA TV
March 4, 2010
56
Link: http://minglemediatv.com/FanFavorites.html
57
MORE.COM
March 17, 2010
8 Ideas For A Better Marriage
by Annabelle Gurwitch and Jeff Kahn
Annabelle Gurwitch and Jeff Kahn, authors of You Say Tomato, I Say Shut Up: A Love Story,
supply some sage advice on how to make marriage work.
We’ve been married for 13 years and during this time we’ve learned that just about everything
we’ve expected from love and marriage is the opposite of our actual lives. We’ve discovered
there’s no such thing as happily-ever-after so we’ve opted for the more realistic “ever after.” We
may not be blissed out every minute of the day, but in our “ever after”, we're raising a kid
together we madly adore, we’re cracking each other up, and as far as we can tell there isn’t
anyone else we’d rather spend our lives with. It’s in this spirit of lowered expectations that we’d
like to share a few of things we’ve gleaned from our relationship.
Annabelle:
A spouse is not a fixer upper. Like a lot of women, I used to look at potential mates and
imagine how perfect they’d be once I changed them into the men I wanted them to be. Some men
hum, some crack their knuckles constantly, some sprinkle their every exchange with a wink; Jeff
meows like a cat. But I already had one cat who was interested in human companionship. I
naturally assumed I could break him of this habit very quickly once we were wed. Thus began
my campaign: I rolled my eyes, I ignored him, I even swatted him with newspapers. Nothing
worked. So I tried a new tactic. Every time he spoke to me, I purred. Even in public. But once I
started, I couldn’t stop! It turns out to be very addictive and now I meow even more than him.
Lesson learned. Sometimes you have to take delivery as is.
58
Jeff:
Drink! I meow too much that’s true, however, on the other paw, I can’t get Annabelle to come
to bed dressed in garters, belts, and thigh high stockings sucking a lollipop. You can’t change
your spouse, which is why I say: Drink. Alcohol is a great way to take the edge off a marriage.
Annabelle is not usually a romantic gal, but the other night, after a couple of glasses of Pinot
Noir, she was all over me. So what if she was buzzed? After 13 years, I’ll take what I can get.
So, drink up and enjoy the fleeting tenderness because come tomorrow it’s back to business—
and by business, I mean being married.
Annabelle:
Build a Mystery. I’m not talking about disappearing into the Amazon jungle although I did fib
once and told Jeff that the cruise to Alaska I was on did not have cell phone service. It occurred
to me that we’re not always actually communicating; we’re just narrating our daily schedules.
The upshot? Instead of the usual harried hourly phone updates, “What are you doing right now?
Where are you having lunch?” At week’s end, we were excited to talk to each other and it was a
great reunion.
Jeff:
A little romance goes a long way. It’s not that I don’t get the mystery thing, once I accidentally
saw Annabelle wearing nothing but a pair of Spanx. (No one wonder she looks amazing in
jeans!) Ok, maybe you shouldn’t share every minute detail of your lives, but when did it become
mandatory for men to be emotionally vacuous? In our marriage, I’m the one who remembers
birthdays and anniversaries, even Valentine’s Day. An added bonus is that when you screw up
you’ll be able to remind her of how you surprised her by taking her to a picturesque spa for the
weekend for your anniversary, and if that doesn’t get you out of the dog house, it’ll certainly
lessen your stay.
Annabelle:
Screw Date Night! A therapist once told us to take one night a week and go out together.
However, these last few years, like for many people out there, have been financially challenging
for us. We’re parents and if we spring for a babysitter, then we can’t afford to go out to dinner.
So instead of going out, we kiss our son goodnight, we close the door to our bedroom, and watch
our favorite TV series in bed. Sure, we’re not sharing a five star meal, but our snacks have fewer
calories than restaurant fare. On top of that, you never need dinner reservations or have to look
for a parking space in bed.
Jeff:
Skip couples therapy. The therapist said this, they said that, and that’ll be 150 bucks, thank you.
You know what, save your money, go to Paris. If Paris is too much, try someplace closer to
home. For us, that’s Santa Barbara wine country. For New Yorkers, perhaps that’s the Poconos
or even Lancaster, PA. If you’re going to bicker about your marriage you might as well do it in
front of the Eiffel Tower, a scenic winery or a couple of distracted Amish people churning butter
and not in some airless, windowless couple therapist’s office.
Annabelle:
Being friends with your spouse may not be a good idea. By that, I mean Facebook friends. I
would never think of listening in on Jeff’s calls or peaking in a handwritten journal but reading
his Facebook page seemed acceptable until I stumbled into the middle of Jeff’s exchanges with
old girlfriends. Like the one where Kimm writes, “I miss you, you little nitwit!” I’m the only one
who’s allowed to call him a nitwit! And did I really want to read all his flirty updates like, “Jeff
59
is lust in the wind”? After some heated debate, I realized that a little flirting is actually healthy
and besides, I’m much happier not knowing exactly how much time he’s spending on his status
updates so I “unfriended him” and we’ve been better spouses since then.
Jeff:
Share your marital stories. You may not be inclined to take two and half years and write a
book about it like we did but by sharing the story of your marriage with your married friends you
will find that they have many of same issues as you do, just like we had with Facebook. Who
knows, maybe your spouse will learn something useful like how after Annabelle found out how
much it bothered me that she never did diddlysquat on Father’s Day for me. So, this year, she
really stepped it up; made me a cappuccino and gave me foot massage. Now, if I can only get her
to remember my birthday.
Annabelle Gurwitch and Jeff Kahn live in Los Angeles with their twelve-year-old son, Ezra,
and their cat, Stinky. Their book, You Say Tomato, I Say Shut Up: A Love Story, is out now.
Link: http://www.more.com/2040/14121-8-ideas-for-a-better
60
NBC LOS ANGELES
March 9, 2010
AROUND TOWN/ EVENTS
3/9: You Say Tomato, I Say Shut Up
Marriage foibles made mirthful.
By ALYSIA GRAY PAINTER
Updated 12:15 AM PST, Tue, Mar 9, 2010
Annabelle Gurwitch
"YOU SAY TOMATO, I SAY SHUT UP": He's written for Ben Stiller. She's an actress who did that
very funny "Fired" show, all about getting sacked. They're Jeff Kahn and Annabelle Gurwitch, they're in
love, they've written a book about the betters and worses, and they're taking it on the road. Tonight's
stop: Borders Westwood at 7 p.m.
LAURA VEIRS: "Galaxies" is a synth-sweet song. "July Flame" is her new album. Now the poemsinging Portlander will be bewitching Spaceland tonight. We like the beautiful esoteric balladry, and we
like her spectacles. Rock the glasses, Ms. Veirs. For all of us.
BOB NEWHART: In person! Big. Very. This is the man that made dry humor even drier, and sitcom
television more befuddle-y. The great comic will be at the GRAMMY Museum, talking about his halfcentury in the biz, and Q&A-ing, too. 8 p.m.
Copyright NBC Local Media
Link: http://www.nbclosangeles.com/around-town/events/39-You-Say-Tomato-I-Say-Shut-Up87007927.html
61
NBC MIAMI
March 17, 2010
"Dinner & a Movie" Alum Annabelle Gurwitch:
Debunking Happily Ever After
TBS "Dinner and a Movie" co-host Annabelle Gurwitch said last night during a reading of her book that she and her
hubby of 13 years aren't anti-marriage, they just don't believe in the concept of living happily ever after.
"We're not marriage-boosters, and we're not anti-marriage," said Gurwitch, co-author of "You Say Tomato, I Say
Shut Up," during a reading at Books & Books Tuesday night.
"Our goal is to debunk the myth of happily ever after -- if you just go for ever after, every happily you get is a
bonus."
Gurwitch and her husband, Emmy Award-winning writer and actor husband Jeff Kahn, have parlayed their marriage
into a hilarious he said-she said marriage tell-all. Celebrities like Ben Stiller and Judd Apatow have praised the book
for its brutal honesty.
"People often tell us, 'Thank you for making me feel normal,'" said Gurwitch. But don't expect them to turn their
marriage into a reality show.
"Jeff and I are the non-celebrity version of those shows," she said. "We're just laying it out like it is."
Gurwitch has become a pro at converting her challenges into meal tickets. After being canned by Wood Allen, she
wrote "Fired!" -- a book and documentary on other entertainment industry castoffs who have been given the boot.
Link: http://www.nbcmiami.com/around-town/events/316-Late-Night-Laughs-87650907.html
62
NEW YORK POST
February 24, 2010
63
NEW YORK POST
February 28, 2010
64
NEW YORK POST – PAGE SIX
April 1, 2010
65
NPR.ORG
February 13, 2010
Three Love Letters For A Literary Affair
by Annabelle Gurwitch
iStockphoto.com
text sizeAAA
February 13, 2010
I'm what's been called "easy." I've fallen hard many times. For books, that is. But I find
I'm not attracted to the same qualities that once held me in their thrall. Where I once
was seduced by torrid melodramas of the 19th century, I find myself attracted to works
where the object of the writer's affection isn't another human being but a passion for
words, an affair of the mind or even an obsession with the eternal.
The Making of Americans
The Making of Americans: Being a History of a Family's Progress, by Gertrude Stein,
paperback, 925 pages, Dalkey Archive Press, list price: $16.95
Gertrude Stein's dadaist masterpiece The Making of Americans has a narrative thread.
From the very start it's clear to the reader that the words themselves are the main
attraction. The best way to experience this book is aloud, savoring each word, letting
the sound and beauty of the sentence construction wash over you. Stein's repetition of
66
phrases takes on the quality of an incantation. To speak her language is as addictive as
the temptation to whisper your beloved's name over and over when in the throes of a
new love. Here's a radical thought: Instead of a game of charades, serve up The Making
of Americans, recently published in paperback, as after-dinner entertainment — but eat
lightly because "words have weight" — at least, that's what Shalom Auslander says in
Foreskin's Lament.
Foreskin's Lament
Foreskin's Lament, by Shalom Auslander, hardcover 302 pages, Riverhead, list price:
$24.95
Shalom Auslander's hilarious attempts to break up with God resemble nothing so much
as the effort to extricate oneself from under the thumb of a demanding and jealous lover
in Foreskin's Lament. Auslander's "just not that into" God. But by virtue of being born
into an orthodox Jewish family, he finds himself in an arranged marriage with the
Almighty. He steps out on the Supreme Being not with a lover but with ham sandwiches
and pornography, and by failing to recite the correct blessing for Fruity Pebbles. It's the
funniest rejection scenario since Diane Keaton tried to shed herself of Woody Allen in
Love and Death. His misery rivals the pathos of any of the Russians — he's a
Vaudevillian Anna Karenina with peyis!
I Am a Strange Loop
67
I Am a Strange Loop, by Douglas Hofstadter, paperback 436 pages, Basic Books, list
price: $16.95
Of course, making analogous comparisons between books is an ability that is unique to
human consciousness. This is the elusive and mysterious mistress that scientist and
author Douglas Hofstadter pursues in his book, I Am a Strange Loop.
Hofstadter claims to have been seduced at an early age by the beauty of high level
perception. Reading even one paragraph demands a focus I once devoted solely to
pursuit of sex, but I know if I can make it through even one elegant paragraph at a time,
I might resuscitate even the tiniest bit of my brain that atrophied when I got suckered
into a marathon of Flip This House episodes. His excitement about creative cognition
never fails to turn me on.
All three of these titles are less fattening, less expensive and provide more lasting
satisfaction than a box of gourmet chocolates. They offer more than fleeting romance;
their timelessness and depth make them books you'll want "to have and to hold".
Annabelle Gurwitch is the co-author with her husband Jeff Kahn of the marital memoir
You Say Tomato, I Say Shut Up: A Love Story.
Three Books ... is produced and edited by Ellen Silva and Bridget Bentz.
Link: http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=123607373
68
PEOPLE MAGAZINE
February 22, 2010
69
PIXIES DID IT
March 15, 2010
Tomaytoes, Tomahtows — There Is a Difference...
You Say Tomato, I Say Shut Up, by Annabelle Gurwitch and Jeff Kahn is a
voyeuristic look into a very similar and messy household to my own. And yes, from this book I deduced
that Annabelle Gurwitch is a Smart Freedom and Jeff Kahn is an Organic Freedom. How do I glean this?
The repeated references to Annabelle being unsentimental and Jeff being a corny romantic and the fact
that they have one helluva messy house. I can relate.
Now Annabelle might be a Smart Structure. She is the one who takes charge, tries to impose structure on
her household, and has lots of balls in the air, but the way she just gives into the chaos of her house
sounds so much like me, that I just think she’s a Smart Freedom trying to flex her structure as the woman
of the house, (It’s always relegated to us, regardless of type) trying to make things run smoothly and it’s
just impossible when you’re dealing with an Organic Freedom and you’re not that clean yourself.
“Jeff (’s) interest in ancient civilizations seems to have degenerated into a compulsion to create piles.
These mounds of detritus act as a Rosetta stone to the life of Jeff Kahn. Receipts, phone numbers, taxfiling information, price tags from new clothes, movie theater stubs can be found in interesting
configurations scattered onto every flat surface in the house.”
Anyone married to an Organic or Smart of both kinds can relate to this complaint. And the only thing you
can do if you are not an Organic or Smart? Try to relegate these piles all to ONE ROOM. Annabelle, for
instance, keeps her mess in her car. And if your spouse is the messy one but refuses to cooperate, you
could always withhold sex (although I’m guessing a zillion marriage therapists would tell you “bad
idea”.)
Link: http://www.pixiesdidit.com/todays-pixie-tip/2010/3/15/tomaytoes-tomahtows-there-is-adifference.html
70
PSYCHOLOGY TODAY
April 2010
71
PUBLISHER’S WEEKLY
December 14, 2009
Nonfiction Reviews: 12/14/2009
-- Publishers Weekly, 12/14/2009 2:00:00 AM
You Say Tomato, I Say Shut Up: A Love Story Annabelle Gurwitch and Jeff Kahn. Crown,
$24 (288p) ISBN 978-0-307-46377-7
Married for 13 years, Gurwitch and Kahn look back with laughter at the highs, the lows, and
their “different marital needs.” Writer-actor Kahn (Curb Your Enthusiasm) won an Emmy for
scripting The Ben Stiller Show; actress Gurwitch (Seinfeld) produced a documentary adapted
from her 2006 book Fired! Tales of the Canned, Canceled, Downsized, & Dismissed. By teaming
for this equally merry marriage memoir, the duo doubles the giggles and guffaws. Over many
months, they have been doing readings and performances from this book in progress, when it had
the working title, How Not to Have a Marriage Like Ours. The book includes alternating “He
Says”/”She Says” sections. Opening with Jeff’s pursuit of Annabelle, they write in a lighthearted
fashion about dating, cats, living together, marriage, the honeymoon, and lots of sex: “In the
beginning, there was sex and it was good. In the middle, it became something to schedule like a
tennis lesson and flu shot.” A genuine crisis interrupted their comedic conflicts when their son
was born with birth defects, a situation that affected their marriage: “We became each other’s
psychological punching bags.” In the concluding chapter, they speculate on the future direction
of their marriage, possibly “like the bonds of emperor penguins and Gertrude Stein and Alice B.
Toklas.” Readers will hope they stay together to write more heartfelt, funny books like this one.
(Feb. 14)
Link: http://www.publishersweekly.com/article/439882-Nonfiction_Reviews_12_14_2009.php
72
PUBLISHER’S WEEKLY
March 1, 2010
Soapbox: You Say Tomato, I Say Shut Up
The highlights, lowlights, and downright misguided adventure of
writing a book with your husband
By Annabelle Gurwitch -- Publishers Weekly, 3/1/2010 12:00:00 AM
It's a warm June night in 2006 and Jeff, my husband of 13 years, is “killing” on stage at Sit 'n'
Spin, a Los Angeles literary salon. The crowd is roaring with laughter at his description of how
hard it is to get into my pants. An attractive man sitting next to me shakes his head in hysterical
disbelief, and it occurs to me that if Jeff and I ever split up, no one will ever want to have sex
with me again. An idea is born.
I write first-person comedic essays and my husband is a television comedy writer. We've been
entertaining friends and strangers for years with our tales of marital missteps. We have both
funny anecdotes and divergent points of view on the subject of love and marriage—we should
write a book together!
Three weeks later, Jeff and I set up our respective laptops in our kitchen and begin banging out
our book proposal, but after only an hour we're tearing into each other's ideas. I have questions:
“Jeff, do you really think people will want to read about all the wactresses (waitress-actresses)
you dated before me? Who cares?” It's clear we can't write in the same room together. We're off
to a great start.
Our proposal only takes us two years to write. Armed with 100 pages, we fly to New York, and I
get to watch my husband charm the pants and advances out of rooms full of attractive editors.
I'm filled with love while we pitch our book together.
We close our deal the very same day. We promise to stay together until the paperback. We're so
funny. But on the plane ride home, I look at my husband in a new light. The format of the book
naturally invites comparison between us. What if his chapters are funnier than mine? What if he
comes off more sympathetic? We're not collaborators, we're competitors!
Note to self: don't forget to put in the book the story about how Jeff drank too many glasses of
pinot, fell asleep in the bathtub, and flooded the house.
We return home and the enormity of actually writing the book is overwhelming. Our chapters
must stand alone, but also fit together. The book threatens to take over our entire lives. After Jeff
says, “I'll read over your new chapter if you take your pants off” for the 20th time, I work the
bathtub flooding story into the manuscript.
73
I start wondering how our divorce will affect book sales.
Jeff wakes me up in the middle of the night. He's just read a paragraph in which I've written
about my flirtation with a work spouse, something I've neglected to ever mention to him. He
suspects there may be other things he doesn't know and would prefer I cease writing on subjects
he doesn't want to know about. I lie awake wondering how I will finish our “love story” now that
I detest my husband.
I wake Jeff up in the middle of the night to tell him I'm tired of having to write on topics dictated
by him, and I'm ditching the “he said/she said” format and switching to “she says/he says”
chapters. I lie awake suspecting I'm a womyn who uses the word herstory for history.
It's July of 2009 and we're in an emotional standoff as we head into the homestretch. Jeff e-mails
me his last chapter, and I find myself weeping uncontrollably as I read his description of his love
for me. I delete the bathroom flooding story. Our squabbling is the glue that holds us together, I
decide. Nobody likes a pushover and nothing is more boring than someone who agrees with
everything you say. Our contentious process gives me my ending.
It's February, and the book is ready to hit the stands. But, oh, the irony. We write about our fierce
love for our son, but we were so distracted that we've scheduled our signing in Washington,
D.C., on his 12th birthday. We're setting off on a do-it-yourself book tour where we'll be
crashing with friends who include an old boyfriend, the old boyfriend a minor detail that I've
neglected to mention to Jeff, until just now. We barely made it through writing the book; how
will our marriage survive the book tour? Then, our PW review comes out, and it says: “Readers
will hope they stay together to write more heartfelt, funny books like this one.”
“I hope so,” I say to Jeff, right before we snuggle up and fall asleep.
Link: http://www.publishersweekly.com/article/451134Soapbox_You_Say_Tomato_I_Say_Shut_Up.php?q=annabelle+gurwitch
74
REAL SIMPLE.COM
March 15, 2010
Link: http://www.realsimple.com/magazine-more/inside-website/daily-finds/fun-things-activities00000000029549/index.html
75
REDBOOK
February 2010
76
THE REVIEW BROADS
March 31, 2010
You Say Tomato, I Say Shut Up: A Love Story
Authors: Annabelle Gurwitch and Jeff Kahn
Broad A: Both Ms. Gurwitch and Mr. Kahn are comedy writers, and very good ones - therefore,
it stands to reason – a great, hilarious book about marriage – right?
Broad Z: Not always, A. Sometimes writers can be good at poetry and SUCK at prose. You
know that.
Broad A: You're right "Z" However, beyond delight, this book extended itself straight out,
without a lifeline, from hilarious, courageous, with full of strength character and great devotion. I
found myself humble as these two people exposed their marriage to our hearts, and left
themselves open on the page.
Broad Z: Talk about TRANSPARENCY. These two put it ALL out on the table for us. It had to
be so hard to go back and re-hash their lives as they did.
Broad A: Full of heartbreak, Annabelle and Jeff never go near “poor me.” When their son Ezra
is born with multiple, life threatening birth defects, they scurry to find the best way to support
their tiny son, in the midst of terror, fatigue and what surely must have been a devastating
diagnosis.
77
Broad Z: I found it absolutely amazing that they could approach this without the "poor me" as
you put it. These are truly two of the strongest (and funniest) people.
Broad A: Written in a he said, she said format, Annabelle’s strong character counteracts Jeff’s
softer tone, but both give back as they get. Revealing all of their flaws, they nonetheless treat
themselves lightly. These are two people that rise to their challenges and joys with laughter and
acceptance.
Broad Z: I found myself actually taking sides. I'm not telling you which one I sided with,
because it would switch periodically. I guess that's what comes from two people being brutally
honest as well as pee in your pants funny.
Broad A: Yes, they are both honest to a T. Both sets of in-laws are depicted as they truly are and
loved immensely. Annabelle and Jeff have taken the drama out of “Love Story” and gone to a
new dimension, an honest one.
Broad Z: I don't know about you A, but I savored this book. These are two people that I want to
know. Not just on paper, but in real life.
Broad A: I read each page avidly and absolutely loved every entry. I felt like Annabelle and Jeff
were right there with me, becoming friends and ending with my great admiration, while I
laughed constantly at their witty repartee.
Broad Z: I think they'd fit in VERY well with "The Broads" around here.
Broad A: Every once in a while a book tears at your funny bone, your heart and your head. The
synthesis of all three makes for greatness and purity. The words ring true and you can feel the
devotion and courage of two people who are simply in sync, who are too devoted to ever leave
their commitments. And they are funny.
Broad Z: Yeah, and it's good too (just had to get you back for using words like "synthesis:" A.
Broad A: Annabelle and Jeff take you in and refuse to release you. One of the best books I have
read in ages, throw away your “Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus” and relax.
Never stereotypical, a refreshing depiction of a marriage based on good, bad and in-between.
Broad Z: Normally I don't do this within a review...but, I have to thank our good friend Victoria
(from ID-PR) for turning us on to such an amazing book. You know how to pick 'em! I'm just a
little jealous that you get to work with Jeff Kahn and Annabelle Gurwitch.
Broad A: As talented as I knew they were, I can only thank the “Gurkahns” for the opportunity
to join them in their marital misfires and right on hits. It’s absolutely incredible to find a book
like this – my copy stays here. Go buy your own!
Ratings are based on a 5-star scale
Overall: 5 (but that isn't nearly enough stars for this book).
78
You Say Tomato, I Say Shut Up: A Love Story is available for purchase at Amazon.com for
$16.32 and other fine booksellers nationwide.
Thank you to ID-PR for providing us with copies for this book review. We were in no way
compensated for this post and all opinions are strictly our own.
Link: http://www.thereviewbroads.com/2010/03/book-reviews-you-say-tomato-i-sayshut.html
79
SAN DIEGO 6
March 27, 2010
Link: http://www.sandiego6.com/mediacenter/local.aspx
80
SAN DIEGO CITY BEAT
March 19, 2010
Link: http://ww2.sdcitybeat.com/cms/event/detail/annabelle_gurwitch_jeff_kahn/10704/
81
SHELF AWARENESS
March 15, 2010
M on d ay | M arc h 1 5, 2 0 1 0 | V olu m e 2 | Is s u e 1 1 37
Quotation of the Day
Finding a Great Manuscript: 'Your Hair Stands on End'
News
Notes: Foyles Finds Value in Full Prices
Image of the Day: Chelsea Chelsea Shebang Shebang
Image of the Day: Emergency Plant Technicians
Media and Movies
Media Heat: Michael Lewis, Rebecca Skloot
Movies: One Day
Television: Mildred Pierce
Books & Authors
Awards: Irish Times Poetry Now Award Shortlist
IndieBound: Other Indie Favorites
Shelf Starter: Another Way the River Has
Quotation of the Day
Finding a Great Manuscript: 'Your Hair Stands on End'
"The thing that really really turns me on--and I've now been doing it for 40 years, and it still
works in exactly the same way--is this: you are sitting at home reading a manuscript and your
hair stands on end and you think, 'I know how to publish this and, with a bit of luck, it could
really work.'"--Dan Franklin, head of Jonathan Cape, in an interview with the Sunday
Guardian.
Share This
***
News
82
Notes: Foyles Finds Value in Full Prices
Foyles, the famous London bookshop, has returned to profitability after chief executive Sam
Husain, hired in 2007, put an emphasis on making the 107-year-old store more customer
friendly, having managers focus on the bottom line rather than just sales, adding some
nonbook products, and--as the recession hit--maintaining staff, not cutting the marketing
budget and charging full price on most books, the Guardian wrote.
Husain commented: "If you sell too cheaply you are going to have to compromise
somewhere else. And we thought, 'Well, you can't compromise service, you can't
compromise information, you can't compromise your display because that's all about making
it a special place for your customer.' So our customers, I think, appreciate that. Some of them
have even said, 'We are glad not to see those outrageous discount signs.'"
Although beloved by many bibliophiles, Foyles long had an "intimidating aura," multiple
lines to buy a book, titles arranged by publisher and a revolving door for staff members.
--Congratulations to City Lights Bookstore, San Francisco, Calif., which has been named
Bookseller of the Year by Publishers Weekly. Co-founded by poet Lawrence Ferlinghetti in
1953, City Lights specializes in literature, the arts and leftist political titles and is officially a
landmark.
Congratulations, too, to Ron Koltnow, a Random House rep in New England, who has been
named PW's Rep of the Year. PW quoted Hilary Emerson Lay of the Spirit of '76 Bookstore
& Card Shop in Marblehead, Mass., who nominated Koltnow and called him "one of the
most well-read and truly bibliophilic reps I have ever known... he loves his job more than
anyone I know, book-business or otherwise."
Both winners will be subjects of stories in the April 26 issue of PW and be honored at BEA
in New York.
--Congratulations as well to Politics and Prose, Washington, D.C., which on Thursday, March
18, will accept the Henry Edgerton Civil Liberties Special Recognition Award at the National
Capital Area ACLU's 2010 Bill of Rights Awards Dinner.
On its website, the store wrote, "While making some brief remarks about how gratified we
are, we will take the occasion to reflect on one of the many books that we have promoted
over the years that frame a historical event crucial to the affirmation of the Constitution and
civil rights."
83
One example of those kinds of book is the new title Supreme Power: Franklin Roosevelt vs.
the Supreme Court by Jeff Shesol (Norton), about Roosevelt's effort to pack the Supreme
Court in order to lessen the power of its conservative majority, "a wonderful reminder about
the precarious existence of civil rights, even during the administrations of presidents who
seemed to embrace them."
--Although Urban Think! Bookstore, Orlando, Fla., is closing at the end of the month (Shelf
Awareness, March 2, 2010), the Urban Think! Foundation will continue and may take over
the bookstore's space. Begun in 2008, the foundation supports a range of community
programs as well as the Page 15 literacy initiative directed by Julia Young.
--Bookstore video of the day: from Words bookstore, Maplewood, N.J., for You Say Tomato, I
Say Shut Up by Annabelle Gurwitch and Jeff Kahn (Crown). The authors' first scheduled
appearance was snowed out and is rescheduled for April 2. Here co-owner Jonah Zimiles
seems to have nicely channeled Gary Vaynerchuk in a video that took 45 minutes to set up
and shoot. Thanks to Donna Paz for the tip!
--And in other video news, Dave Weich, formerly of Powell's, has launched the first of his
ReadRollShow series: a 13-minute interview Weich conducted with Joshua Ferris, whose
The Unnamed was published in January by Reagan Arthur Books. They talk about his books,
literature in general and more. Daniel Pink, who calls Ferris's first title, Then We Came to
End, essential reading in his new book, Drive, makes a cameo.
ReadRollShow offers "candid interviews with celebrated authors and artists. And probably,
eventually, with people who are neither authors nor artists, nor celebrated, but who,
undeterred, snuck into our studio and started talking." The series is presented by Live Wire!
Radio and produced by Sheepscot Creative.
---A panel on Book Marketing Online, sponsored by the Women's National Book
Association, will be held this Thursday, March 18, in New York City, the reprise of a panel a
year ago (which, for this subject, might as well have been a century ago). Among subjects to
be covered: LBS (location-based social networking) like Foursquare, Gowalla and Yelp.
Panelists are Fauzia Burke, president of FSB Associates; Peter Costanzo, director of online
marketing, Perseus Books Group; Andrea Fleck-Nisbet, digital/online sales and marketing
director, Workman Publishing; Ron Hogan, director of e-marketing strategy, Houghton
Mifflin Harcourt; Kelly Leonard, executive director, online marketing, Hachette Book
Group; Kate Rados, director of digital initiatives, Chelsea Green Publishing; and Abby
Stokes, teacher and author of Is This Thing On?: A Computer Handbook for Late Bloomers,
84
Technophobes, and the Kicking & Screaming. Moderator is Susannah Greenberg, Susannah
Greenberg Public Relations.
Questions may be e-mailed in advance to [email protected]. Appropriately, the panel
already has a Twitter hashtag: #wnba318.
The panel will be held 6-8 p.m., on Thursday at the Association of American Publishers
offices at 71 Fifth Avenue, 2nd floor (at 15th Street). Reception follows. Admission is free to
WNBA and AAP members; $10 for non-members. Seating is limited. RSVP to
[email protected].
85
SOUTH FLORIDA SUN SENTINEL
March 12, 2010
Celebrity marriage tips: Wine, nudity and Charles Darwin
> Posted by Benjamin Crandell on March 12, 2010 10:52 AM
Annabelle Gurwitch and Jeff Kahn have one of those enduring Hollywood marriages that you never hear
about. An attractive and accomplished couple, Miami Beach High grad Gurwitch is an actor, author and
NPR commentator, and Kahn is an actor and Emmy-winning writer ("The Ben Stiller Show"); the two have
been married for 13 years and have an athletic 12-year-old son who is the apple of their eye.
What, oh, great Obi-wans, is the
secret?
Kahn: Marriage must go beyond the
mundane and reach for the romantic. I
yearn for a marriage that is a romantic
inspiration, a celebration of passions
and a terrific long-term opportunity to
try out some really kinky Kama Sutra
type stuff. Annabelle craves a probing
intellectual discourse of ideas with an
academic who's willing to change the
cat litter box.
Gurwitch: I've been striving to provide
our son with a solid foundation on which to build an orderly life. There's only one thing standing in my
way. My husband.
Those lines are excerpted from the couple's new book, "You Say Tomato, I Say Shut Up" (Crown
Publishing, $24), a memoir on marriage filled with real-world strategies for keeping a relationship
together. Basically, less couple's therapy and more pinot noir.
Gurwitch, once the co-host of TBS's romantic comedy-fueled "Dinner and a Movie," and Kahn dispensed
more insight in a recent phone chat from the book tour, which hits Books & Books in Coral Gables on
Tuesday, March 16.
Gurwitch: There's this pervasive myth in movies and television, where the whole plot is leading up to the
wedding...
Kahn: He's the right guy, then he's the wrong guy. Then the right guy shows up and all the problems are
solved...
Gurwitch: We really wanted to destroy that myth... Marriage is not the end of your problems. It's only the
beginning.
Gurwitch: When we first moved in together, we had a very common experience. You thought you knew
that person, then slowly you realize ...
Kahn: Annabelle has the housekeeping habits of a feral animal. She tears into a box of cereal like a wild
animal. One without logic or opposable thumbs.
Gurwitch: And I had to deal with Jeff's nudity radar. Every time I was taking my clothes off, even just
coming back from the gym, Jeff's standing there clapping his hands like he's at Fenway Park.
Reconciling such style differences makes up much of "You Say Tomato," but Gurwitch, a self-described
research geek, made sure the book was spiked with helpful factoids, trivia and historical perspectives.
The latter include Charles Darwin's heartfelt list of pros and cons as he was contemplating marriage.
86
Gurwitch: One of Darwin's pros was: "Picture yourself with a nice, soft wife on a sofa with a good fire and
books and music..." I love that.
Kahn: And con: You can no longer picture yourself with five nice, soft women on a sofa in a gentlemen's
club."
As "You Say Tomato" celebrates theses differences, Gurwitch says the couple's readings across the
country have had an extraordinary power to bring people together. "People come up to us and say:
'Thank you. My marriage is so much better than yours.' Or: 'Thank you for making me feel normal.' We
say, if you just lower your expectations, you'll be fine."
Or there's always the pinot. They write:
"We have a suggestion for couples that are thinking of sinking all of their hard-earned money on therapy:
Go to Paris instead. Get drunk and eat great food. You might eventually get divorced, but at least you'll
have the memory of harping at each other in front of Notre Dame instead of in some cramped windowless
therapist's office."
IF YOU GO
Annabelle Gurwitch and Jeff Kahn will read from "You Say Tomato, I Say Shut Up" at 8 p.m. Tuesday,
March 16, at Books & Books in Coral Gables, 265 Aragon Ave. Info: booksandbooks.com, 305-4424408.
Link: http://weblogs.sunsentinel.com/entertainment/thingstodo/2010/03/celebrity_marriage_tips_wine_n_1.html
87
VIEW FROM THE BAY
March 19, 2010
Advice on how to survive marriage with love, complaining, co-dependence and Pinot Noir!
On Marriage: He says: For me, marriage must go beyond the mundane and reach for the
romantic. I yearn for a marriage that is a romantic inspiration, a celebration of passions and a
terrific long-term opportunity to try out some really kinky Kama Sutra type stuff. Annabelle
craves a probing intellectual discourse of ideas with an academic who's willing to change the cat
litter.
She says: I would never dream of telling anyone they should get, stay, or stop being married.
Unless they were attached to the idea that they were going live "happily ever after." Then I'd tell
them they were out of their minds. Wouldn't just "ever after" make more sense?
88
On having children: He says: I admired my friends for having babies in the same way that I
admire Picasso's Guernica, Washington's surprise Christmas attack on Trenton, or how anyone
can put together anything from Ikea. Just knowing I could never accomplish any of these things
in my lifetime makes them all the more impressive.
She says: But had I known beforehand what we were in for, I might have skipped the whole
thing and bought expensive moisturizers instead.
On cohabitation: He says: "Within days of Annabelle's arrival, I became very aware that she
demanded solitude and had the housekeeping habits of a feral animal."
She says: "The guy had some sort of nudity radar. When I would take my clothes off even for a
second, Jeff would be in front of me cheering as if he'd scored box seats at Fenway Park."
On sex: He says: "I want to have sex every day, but Annabelle only wants to do it once a week.
So we compromise-we have sex once a week."
She says: "Jeff says talking about money before you have sex is a turn off, but it's only a turn off
if you're talking about not having money. Talking about money before you have sex when you're
loaded is actually a turn on."
On couples therapy: Both: We have a suggestion for couples that are thinking of sinking all of
their hard earned money on therapy: Go to Paris instead. Get drunk and eat great food. You
might eventually get divorced, but at least you'll have the memory of harping at each other in
front of Notre Dame instead of in some cramped, windowless therapist's office.
Website: http://www.yousaytomatoisayshutup.com
ABOUT ANNABELLE GURWITCH:
ANNABELLE GURWITCH is an actress and writer. She first gained a comedic following
during her years co-hosting Dinner & a Movie on TBS. Annabelle turned her experience of being
canned by Woody Allen into the off-Broadway play, touring show, book, and documentary film
Fired! Her film premiered on television as a Showtime Comedy Special and has been screened
everywhere from The Southwest Film Festival to The Department of Labor on Capitol Hill. She's
been a regular commentator on Day to Day and All Things Considered on NPR and a humor
columnist for TheNation.com. Annabelle has hosted television shows on ABC, VHI, STYLE,
and HBO. Her acting credits include: Medium, Boston Legal, Seinfeld, and films: Shaggy Dog,
Melvin Goes to Dinner, and Daddy Day Care. Her work off-Broadway garnered her a place in
The New York Times Top Ten Performances in Theatre of the Year 2002. Her essays have
appeared in: The Los Angeles Times, Child, Glamour, and two anthologies: Note to Self and
Rejected! Annabelle doesn't know why, but many of the projects she is involved with end up
with exclamation points attached to them. She currently hosts the series WA$TED! on The
Planet Green Network. This is her second book and second marriage.
ABOUT JEFF KAHN:
JEFF KAHN is a writer/performer who began his career on MTV's, "The Ben Stiller Show." A
few years later, he won an Emmy award for writing on FOX's, "The Ben Stiller Show." It was a
moment so unexpected and shocking that he literally cried. (How pathetic is that?) Jeff has
written on several other shows including, "Later with Greg Kinnear," "Austin Stories," and
"Dilbert." He also has written and produced numerous television pilots, in particular a spin-off of
89
"All-American Girl" starring Margaret Cho. He can be seen on HBO reruns of "Curb Your
Enthusiasm," "Entourage," and "The Larry Sanders Show", and in the films, "Tropic Thunder,"
"40-Year-Old Virgin," and "The Cable Guy." Online, Jeff is featured on the show, "The Writer's
Room." His essays can be read online at FreshYarn.com and in his wife's terrific and very funny
book, "Fired!" This is Jeff's very first book and marriage.
ABOUT THE BOOK:
After 13 years of marriage, Annabelle Gurwitch and Jeff Kahn have found, "We're just not that
into us." In their new memoir, YOU SAY TOMATO, I SAY SHUT UP: A Love Story,
actor/comedian/writers/real-life married couple Annabelle and Jeff prove that in marriage, all
you need is love-and a healthy dose of complaining, co-dependence, and Pinot Noir.
Described as the Lucille Ball and Desi Arnaz of the Apatow generation, Jeff and Annabelle offer
their insights on how to survive marriage with their hilarious brand of "he said, she said" wisdom
and wit. They are recently touring the country in a stage version of the book which is selling out
theaters, and uniting married couples in an evening of sheer bliss and commiseration.
Join Annabelle Gurwitch and Jeff Kahnhave for a Talk & Book Signing at Book Passage in
Corte Madera on Saturday March 20, 2010, 7:00 PM. Annabelle and Jeff will be reading from
their book.
Link:http://abclocal.go.com/kgo/story?section=view_from_the_bay/sex_relationships&id=733861
4
90
WANDA SYKES SHOW
March 27, 2010
91
LINK: http://www.fox.com/watch/wanda/74274273001
92