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VouiMECVm
Issue i6
GALLAUDET UNIVERSITY, FEBRUARY
ii, 2000
ESTABUSHED 189s
Plans for Metro Station
on Fla. Ave. Underway
New stop will liven up
neighborhood, advocates hope
aspect about this new Metrorail station will be
the fact it is thefirstmetro project to be built
using only private funds.
One big benefit Gallaudet hopes to
gain from this new Metrorail station will be
the increase in high-tech businesses, shops,
housing, and higher property taxes in the area,
which will mean a huge economic developBy LvNErrrE GOUKER
ment for the 'now-forlom' neighborhood. A
Buff and Blue Staff
November 10, 1999 study by APBnews.com
If all goes as Dr. I. King Jordan, Mr. showed that crime in the neighborfiood surLindsay Dunn and many other members of rounding Gallaudet within a three-mile radius
the Washington D.C. Community hopes, isfiveto ten times the national average.
there will be a Metrorail station within walkThere are several government and
ing distancefromGallaudet University by the office buildings under construction along New
year 2004.
York Avenue, induding new headquarters of
Currently, Jordan serves on the the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, and Firearms
"New
York
Avenue
Development at New York and Florida Avenue.
Corporation" (formerly known as "Save New
According to Marc Weiss, chairman
York Avenue, Incorporated" Board). This par- of the New York Avenue Metro Station
ticular board was established to look into how Corporation, "It isreallythe most ambitious
to improve the New York Avenue corridor neighborhood economic development that
which extendsfromwhere New York Avenue this city has ever done. By the time the Metro
enters Washington, DC (near the National station opensfouryearsftpmnow, the whole
Arboretum) to Mount Vernon Square (7th and area will have generated millions in dollars in
Massadiusetts Avenue, NW).
new investments, thousands of jobs, and hunThe board, along with the dreds of business opportunities.'
Washington Metropolitan Area Transit
Dunn, who is the Special Assistant to
Authority (WMATA) began working on a pro- the President, Diversity and Community
posed Metrorail station beginning in the early Relations, agrees. "Gallaudet University will
1990s. There are currently three locations be the center of the development of the combeing considered for the stop, and those alter- munity," he said. Dunn strongly believes that
native locations are immediately north of New this is a great opportunity for Gdlaudet to proYork Avenue, south of New York Avenue, vide cultural awareness, values, and opportubetween Florida Avenue and M Street, NE or nities as a deaf institution to the community
south of New York Avenue, straddling M around us.
Street NE (see graphic).
"We've been disconnected from the
Once complete, the New York 'outside world' too long. It'stimeto give back
Avenue Station will be thefirststation on the to the community and develop a relationship
Red Line to be added to the original 103-mile between the outside residents and the
Metrorail system that was designed in the Gallaudet community," Dunn claimed,
1960s, providing a challenge for the develop- explaining that residents living near Gallaudet
ers. The station will have to be constructed in have always been warm, cooperative and welthe middle of an existing
coming towards the
line, between two stations
Gallaudet students.
on the Red Line.
For instance, they
have never given
President Jordan
Gallaudet University
has insisted at every New
problems with zoning
York Avenue Development
laws, as opposed as to
Corporation board meetsome universities in
ing that the Metrorail stathe District.
tion include the name
"Gallaudet." The plans are
Dunn also added
to name it either
that there would be
"Gallaudet/Trinidad" or
wonderful opportuni"Gallaudet/Ivy City,"
tiesforGallaudet stuOn February 3,
dents in the future to
2000, the federal governhave broader internment pledged the money
ship opportunities.
that was needed to bufld
Housing and costs of
the Metrorail station. The
government, along with
living will also
private fund-raisers and
increase
around
private developers will
Gallaudet,
making
it
n « « « M l VlMi «W MM MM Mift* I
each pay one-third of the
Station's $75 million cost One other historical
CONTINUED ON PAGE 2
S.,V;-.a.
New Boys In Greektown
Zeta Sigma Psi
geared towards
minority students
%
KELLY SHORT
Buffand Bbie Staff
A new fraternity on campus,
Zeta Sigma Psi, will be geared towards
keeping minority students in schooL
Although Carl Pramuk, Executive
Director of Student AfMrs, hasn't ofiidally approved the constitution, Zeta
Sigma Psi is ready to roD.
President Darius McCall, a
sophomore biology major from
Birmingham and Vice President Alfie
Lumabas, a graphic design major from
ducago,firstmet witii their members on
October 31 and have selected student and
(acuity advisors. TTiefraternity'scolors
are black, white, and gray; its mascot is
the black stallion. Pratemtty officials
hope to begin the pledging process in the
spring of 2001; currently, they only have
ten members, falling short of the 15
required for all Greek oiganizations.
McCall met student advisor
Tim Albert, who transferred to Gallaudet
from RTT this academic year, at Brickfest
1999 and was impressed t^ the aura of
power around him, the datk glasses and
die dreadlocks. They met, talked, and
shared kieas. H ) ^ meeting put a plan
ifito motion, die result of yMdt is Zeta
SigmaPsL CtaJan.24,2000,vidieQZeta
Sigma Psi's constitution was accepted,
the fr-atemity was dedicated to Tim
Albert
McCall and Lumabas also visited several universities, induding
Howard University and die Unrversity of
Maryland, and picked ideas from diose
programs to create an unique fraternity.
Thefirstnewfr^emityon campus since 1989, Zeta Sigma Psi focuses
on keeping minority students, paitkularly blades, in school. However, it is opm
to any male Mio would like to join,
regardless of race.
A 2.3 GPA is required to enter
thefiratemityand members wiD support
eadi other to stiQr in school and persevere, said Dimabas.
For example, woiksbops wiD be
given to members to benefit dieir future,
said McCall.
Faculty advisOT Isaac Agboda,
an assodate professor in the Department
of Computer Information Systems, said
he wiD be heavily involved as the fraternity ^taUishes itsdf on firm ground.
Agboola foUows diefraternity'sphUosophy of support and community by
attending meetings as often as possible,
meetingfr^equendywith McCall, teting
members know he is accessiUe, and by
greeting membeis on campus.
He agreed to be advisor
because he "Svas vety impressed with
their objectives" — namely to support
each odier to stay in scbool, tobuSdkadets and role modds, and to serve and
bdp others.
CONTINUED ON PAGES
PAGE :
Tiii: BL'FF.\.\!) BI.IT
FhBKL'.y<l 11, 2 0 0 0
NEWS
International News
On Februar>­ lo, hijackers of an Afghan plane
seized Sunday ended a four­da\' standoff. They
surrendered alter releasing 150 hostages in addi­
tion to 32 others already released earlier during
the week. Police arrested 21 people but none of
those arrested have been identified.
The apprehended people are currently undergo­
ing a criminal investigation.
pa> a certain amount of mone\' for college and to
help unden'ated colleges find bright students.
Nine colleges, including Catholic Universih, are
currently signed up with eCoUegebid and pay
S2,0OO a year for tiie service. The Web site has
drawn much criticism and is not immediately a
popular hit, although KeD y hopes more colleges
vvill join and that the number of 1,000 students
currentiy participating will increase.
Wired News
A rash of cyb er attacks this week disturbed a
number of important Web sites. On Monday was
Yahoo, and on Tuesday, sites including eBay,
National News
Amazon, CNN and Buy.Com, were targeted. On
Conservative Republican Steve Forbes dropped Wednesday, brokerage aimpany etrade, was
out of the presidentizii race Thursday, saying that attacked. Attorney General Janet Reno on
he forced the leading candidates to consider Wednesday declared that federal authorities will
■ major issues like taxes and abortion. Forbes did do all they can to combat the vandalism. If appre­
not endorse a candidate after resigning. He had hended, the had<er(s) could face a maximum
not been performing well, placing third in the penalty of 5 to 10 years in jail and up to a
Delaware and New Hampshire primaries, and $250,000fine,or in some cases ' "twice the gross
second in Iowa. As of December 31, Forbes had loss to the victim." Unlike companies with a
spent $28.7 million of his own money on the cam­ physical "brick" presence, online companies can
paign; he spent $37.4 million during his unsuc­ be effectively shut down in the case of an attack.
cessfijl 1996 presidential bid. In D elaware pri­ Experts believe that about 50 powerful computers
mary results, George W. Bush beat John McCain, were hacked across the United States and
who still garnered 25 percent of the vote despite instructed simultaneously to sendfalsifieddata to
not spending any time in the state. D emocrat Al '"routers" on the Internet that, in turn, were
fooled into flooding the Yahoo! Web site with
Gore beat Bill Bradley.
electronic signals.
College News
A Falls Church education consultant has founded
a Web site that allows colleges and students to
find each other. The purpose of Tedd Kelly's
eCollegebid.com is to help families who can only
WrirdNews
In a poD, only 33 percent 0(200 Anglican priests
could name all of the Ten Commandments but
half believed in aliens.
FTC Warns Of Scholarship Scams
By AMY WESTERMAN
Daily Texan Staff, University of Texas at Austin
(U­WIRE) AUSTIN, Texas ­ Following
a sweep of the Internet last week, the Federal
Trade Commission urged parents and students to
be more aware of scholarship scams circulating
on various Web sites.
The FTC, which oversees commerce and
investigates unfair or deceptive acts, searched
600 Web sites and sent out letters to 37 Internet
scholarship services that may be .in violation of
FTCregulations.Scn­.e of the 37 companies prom­
ise students a specific amount of scholarship
money, and others claim to be the only source of
information for particular scholarships, said
Mitch Katz, an FTC senior public affairs specialist.
The letters warned the companies that
they may be in violation of FTC regulations and
could face legal action if they continue to make
unsubstantiated claims in the future.
"Here we wanted to get the word out
that there are guidelines for advertisers and cer­
tain things you can't do," Katz said. Currently, no
formal complaints have been brought against any
of the companies, but past sweeps have led to
criminal charges. The FTC hopes the companies
will comply with regulations without legal action,
Katz said.
"We're trying to stop this behavior
before it becomes a problem," he said.
Katz said misleading claims made by
scholarship search companies have become a sig­
nificant problem because parents of college­
bound students have begun to look to the
Internet for ways to cover the increasing costs of
college.
TThey're looking for scholarships, and
some of tbese less reputable organizations are
preying on that,'Katz said.
Students entering college are the most
susceptible to scholarship scams, said Jack Joyce,
director of guidance services at the College Board,
a non­profit educational association which offers
an online scholarship database.
"They're not familiar with a lot of the
terminology and not as familiar with the
resources available to them," Joyce said, adding
that students need to evaluate the claims made by
Internet sites. "If it sounds too good to be true, it
probably is too good to be true, and you need to
step back and look at it very carefully," Joyce said.
Joyce recommended that students use
familiar Web sites and agencies and know which
are legitimate scholarship searches.
Students should be skeptical about com­
panies that give only P.O. Box addresses and
should also be wary if the scholarship application
requires handling fees, said Carrie Hurt, vice­
president of communications for the Austin
Better Business Buiieau.
"It's real important to do your home­
woric on the company first," Hurt said. If students
are suspicious of claims made by a company, Hurt
said they should contact the Better Business
Bureau where the company is located. Henry
Urick, an assistant director at the UT Office of
Student Financial Services, said with free Internet
scholarship search services available, there isn't
any need to pay for those services.
"Don't send money, period," Urick said.
"There are better ways the money could be
spent." Student Financial Services sent out a let­
ter last week to accepted students and those still
applying to the University about applying for
financial aid and also warning students about
scholarship scams. Student Financial Services
ofifets a Web page with links to reptitable sdiolar­
ship seardies and financial aid pages, Urick said
SpringPkicj^
The Buff and Blue congratulates the followng pledges:
A l p h a S i g m a Pi
Anthony Pasquale Albicocco, New York
Kristinn Jon Bjamason, Iceland
Ray Lamar Freeman, Mississippi
Raymond Giustimanj, Jr., Florida
Lawrence Louis Gray, Texas
Kristzian Gyorgy Gyori, Canada
Christopher Ronald HoHins, Canada
Shi­Nang Charlie Lu, Hawaii
Michael Adam Milcznski, New York
Shane Anthony Molaison, Louisiana
Jeffrey Wayne Panasuik, Canada
Clifford Earl Terry, Arizona
Kappa G a m m a
David Metediti:Bsti;gJow, Maryland
Jason Paol Giip^etson, Maiyiand/New York
Thomas Jei&«y Koch, Texas
Eric Michael Kaika, Maryland
Brandon Richard Hffl, Minnesota
Scott Brad Plummer, Kansas
Scott Joseph Vbllmar, California
Eric Eugene Lefors, Lottisiana
Brian James Morrison, California
Gilles Nimgubumgwe Naniwe, Burundi/Beligum
Richard Cokart, The Netherlands
Christopher Benjamin Soukup, South D akota
Samuel Hyde Hawk, Texas
Allen Lee Markel, Maiyland
Oscar Lucanus Ocuto, Florida
Reid Judson Hunt, Utah
Jeftey Ray Bibb, California
Kappa S i g m a
Larry Shawn Bellamy
Paul Robert Boan
Benjamin Jason D emario
Sean Timothy Kelly
Aaron Arthur Martinez
Deflin Pito Mercado
Matthew Charles Spurgeon
Ryan Donald Vice
METRO
CONTINUED FROM PAGE i
a much nicer place to live in. H
Street will also be a thriving
street, full of business offices,
shops, and much more.
One aspect D unn dis­
cussed was the fact in the past
two years, property values and
taxes have increased. Therefore,
people who are living in the
Northeast area are middle­class
workers, more skilled, and have
a higher level of education.
Dunn confidently remarked
that "the quality of life will
improve," making the commu­
nity a more attractive place to
visit and live.
There will more likely
be a Gallaudet shuttle service
provided to this new Metrorail
station; however, it has not
been discussed yet.
(Some information was taken
from The Washington Post arti­
cle 'Federal Funds Promised for
Metrorail
Expansion"
by
Lyndsey Layton.)
FEBRUARY 11,2000
Contracts Under Review
By JOHN A. SERRANO
Buff and Blue Staff
Guest Services, Inc., the new
management company for the Kellogg
Conference Center, will ofiBcially assume
responsibility, effective today at 12:01 a.m.
Student Health Services will also be under
new management, once a contractor is
found.
The
committee
primarily
responsible for selecting new vendors has
selected Guest Services, Inc., the same
company that currently manages
Gallaudet's food services, after reviewing
several proposals from food companies.
"Guest Services has assured the
University that it is committed to providMeanwhile, a committee for acquiring a contractor
ing exemplary customer service, to offering opportunities for
deaf and hard of hearing individuals to participate in all for Student Health Services has been established with Mike
aspects of its operations, and to working closely with clients, Lockhart in charge.
A timetable has been established
both on and off campus, to
for the committee to select the
assure that their needs are
best vendor, with June 1, 2002
met efficiently and effecas the date for the new contractively," said Fred Kendrick
tor to start services.
of Business Services.
The Guest Services, Inc. contract
According
to
for food services possibly vrill be
Kendrick, Guest Services,
reviewed within two years when
Inc. aims to improve camthe new "Smart" building begins
pus communication and
construction.
meet the needs of the
Hillel Goldberg of Auxiliary
entire community. It also
Services said it was best to wait
plans to develop training
for a new contractor when Ely
for those interested in
„ Center is renovated. Food servworking in guest services
I ices at Gallaudet have been
and hospitality services in
I under Guest Seryio^^ Int;. for ;
order to provide more
- around five years.
employment opportunities
for the students.
Cfnec?3€2 or- X — Top»f>lnc3 F*ix2:a
<TTV>
Surn-—Tnurr-iS- 3Lm.am—-JLoin
•
THE BUFF AND BLUE
•
PAGES
The Mount p i i v e t trial, originaiiy scfa»i«ied for
last Friday, Feb. 4, has been rantinaed to May 30,
2000, said DarreQ Valdez, a prosecutor witb the U.S.
Attorney's office. The trial, which wiB start at 9:30
a.m., was postponed mainly because the <»urt was
unprepared for all the sign language iaterpreters.
All the nine defendants have some degree of hsaring
loss, many deaf witnesses are expected, and an official court interpreter is required also. Defendants
Todd Wakefield, Paul Shires, Josu^ Juarez, Brian
Brown, Donald Crocker, David Kennedy, Midiael
Peters, Dale D'AngeJo, and James Forgy are accused
of destroying hundreds of tombstones in a late night
rampage at nearby Mount Olivet Cemetery in
February of 1999. All nine members have j^wiously
been connected or are currently connected with
Gallaudet University. However, eaxh man has since
denied any involvement with the 2 i felony counts of
conspiracy and destruction of property.
Census a o o o wiB be on campus Tuesday. A
Census 2000 rally will be held from 11:30 am to 1:00
pm oqtside the main entrance of Ely Center.
Students will be able to get firee stuff, learn important information about the 2000 Census, and get tibe
scoop on high-paying job opportunities.
Laurel Glass, M.D., ^ . D . has bran named to the
honorary Powrie V. Doctor Chair of Deaf Studies for
the calendar year 2000 by the Graduate School and
Research, For her project Dr. Glass will analyze
interview data from people who became hard of
hearing or deaf as adults to study the affective and
bdiavior^ effects of heanng^loss in aduttbood. In
i^fcifen,^ it^%m ^ y » 4 ^ f e l f e & # ^ l o l r c l * 1 o
Gallaudet in its efforts to serve persons witii late
onset hearing loss. Dr. Glass is Professor Emeritus of
Anatomy and Psychiatry at the University of
California Medical School, San Francisco. She
served on the Gallaudet Board of Trustees for many
years.The Powrie V. Doctor Chair of Deaf Studies is
Gallaudet's only honorary professorial chair awarded to non-Gallaudet faculty or staff and is meant to
recognize individuals who have made significant
contributions to deafiiess and deaf people.
Infotech Services announced that they are beginning to enforce GaUaudet's computer resources policy. Among other things, the policy states that e-mail
account usage is limited to Gallaudet students, faculty, teachers, staff and the Board of Trustees.
However, up until recently, ITS had not been verifying student status. IIS obtained an'official list of all
registered undergraduate, graduate and special students eariier this week from the Office of Enrollment
Services and Student Accounts. The results showed
that four percent of the 1,716 registered students did
not have an e-mail account and that PeopleSoftDomino name mismatches occurred in about 10
instances. Additionally, 1,208 of the current e-mail
accounts are for students not currently enrolled at
Gallaudet. ITS has been issuing e-mail accounts for
those previously without one and is sending notices
to the 1,208 individuals not reflected on the official
list of registered students, alerting them that their
a«Munts will be closed by Febnuny 15, 2000—
tinl^'they are; m^rmed that tbe former s^dent h
worldngforG a l l a t i ^ , in whichcase &e address wi&
be tran^erred to the ^acuby/staff mail serrer. JIS's
< next $tep is to repeat the ^ocess mtfa ^ £|isdty,and
vstaff.e-mail acccHints...,;.:;,..;..
Cotfqnkd Jram variaua paress nefeoses, general emaSs, and stqj^reports.
P.\GE 4
•
THE BUFF .V.D BLL'E
•
FEBRUA RV ii, 2000
T H E O P I N I O N OF
tiffanb
CHRISTOPHER KA FT.A N
Editor In Chief
JONATH.^N IKEDA
Business Manager
JESSE THOM.A S
Associate Editor
Valentine's Day looms. Students of Gallaudet, the
opportunit}­ is here. Do v'ou ha\'e a loved one, someone who
>ou care for and cherish? Or perhaps you have a crush on
someone from afar? Maybe you have been getting to know
someone and find jourself really liking him or her?
Monda}­ is Valentine's Da}­. Use it! Smother your
loved one w­ith affection. Tell him or her how much you love
him or her then show him or her exactly how much you love
him or her. If you have a crush on someone, make a move! If
you're starting to like someone, act!
What better occasion than Valentine's Day?
J O H N A . SERRA NO
Assoaate Editor &Asst. .Veu's Editor
A L U S O N POLK
Copy Editor & Assistant Features/Life Editor
KELLY SHORT
A'nt's Editor
ALEXANDER J. LONG
CK'S JEANS
The Papers in the
White Bags
If you have been shopping at
Gallaudet's bookstore, then you know you
receive a white bag — with different designs
depicting activities at Gallaudet— for your
purchases.
Go ahead and dig into your bag.
Feel something? Take it out and k)ok:ait it.
Four pieces of paper right? They are what J
call the most anno>ing thing to ever come
out of the bookstore, other than the long
lines at the beginning of each semester.
The first paf>er you can look at i» a
student application for a Citibank
Visa/MasterCard. Sounds good, right? No
annual fee, your picture on the card, special
discounts for students, Worth the time? Fd
g u e ^ So, anless ^ou re&d the­'fine print
under'"Arjmi^ Perceilt^ge;>feites (A PH).r
The date on the A PR states "currently,
September 1, 1994." Nineteen ninety
four????
Features/Life EMor
Under the fine print box is a state­ than 2 percent do. Most of us read the Post^
ment that the information on the applica­ or USAToday.
tion is current as of September 1, 1994. It
The lEist thing is a magazine appli­
also goes on to state "This information may cation. You can apply to subscribe to sever­
have changed after that date." Five and a al different magazines, such as Sports^
half years later, how much can a credit card Illustrated,-Time, Newsweek, Self and so
application change? Plenty.
forth. According to the prices on thtform,
The second one looks like an imi­ SI costs S2.95 per issue, Time ijako.$2.9g.­ ■
tation of police barrier tape, the yellow and But wait! Current prices ..are. $2.'99 and
black kind. It catches your eye ri^t? It's not $3.50 respectively for the two raagazines.
a police emergency, it's an application to get
That magazine subseriptiQD fi9rm.
information on college financial aid. What also faas.a "Win;$10 Million" sweepstakes­,
you do is fill out the form and mail it, game. Ttielast date of the sweepstsdses was :
postage­free. Ever since I've been a student January 31, 1997. Someone^ was.; steady
at MSSD, I've gotten this card in the bags. $10 million richer three years ag&. u'^ ■; ,Now i still see the same card in those bags,
Note to. the booksbtte: getrid.of.­
I'm sure the folks at that financial aid ccDter thfKeappliciitionsand put somethiflg.pi0(ie ;
are out of money by now or out 0/ business. current in the b a ^ — or dojii put birthing
The third is a subscrif»tion form inatall. ■
.•• ­
­.
for the Wall Street Journal. The copyright
They're good for starting a fire in
on it states 1995. According to the subscrip­ my, fireplace. They.f
ItioBtformv­ignweeks­ sf .Aer­lViSy­ivjlL­coM ;ddn^­beloqg in a book­ -.■.,•0/:^
' $33wA ccoTdiBgtawvvwA f&L«)Hi,43­i)rpeksH.;;Store,bag...T ' ; . • , , ­ '
/I/y^
of a print subscription today would run you
$49. How many people on campus do you
Editor in Chief
see reading the WSJ anyway? Virtually less
SARA ROBINSON
Opinions Editor
STEVEN SCHOENBERG
Aisistant Sports Editor
BROOKE BUDZINSKI
Photography Editor
MARIO DIPIETRO
As^stantBiotographyEdlor
BENJAMIN A . MOORE
■! • ;
. ANGELA NA RDOLILLO
, A^istant Layout Editor
■ '
time these two teams had
butted heads.
Last year the rivalry
As many of you know, escalated in a span when
the Bison women's basketball Gallaudet edged St. Mary's for
team suffered a gut­wrenching the regular season CAC honors,
loss to the deeper St. Mary's then St. Mary's upset the Bison
squad last Wednesday night. at home in the CA C
The Bison, embattled by foul Championship Game and in
trouble and apparent fatigue, the following week, Gallaudet
valiantly came back from a 16­ outsed St.Maiys in the first
point deficit in the second half, round of the NCAA tourney.
This season, in their
only to lose by 11 points as St.
Mary's closed out the contest first regular season matchup,
the Bison won with confidence
with a 14­2 blitz.
With a game of this here at home.
These two teams
magnitude looming, I yet again
abused my columnist powers. were very familiar with each
This, I declared, would be the other when they took the court
topic of my next Jabber. A nd, that Wednesday evening.
And battled they did.
so, for the sake of journalism,
off I went for the one­and­a­ After the game, one could see
half­hour drive through the their guts out on the court, all
Marj'land countryside with our twisted and bloody. St. Mary's
outdistanced our beloved
F e a t u r e s ­ L i f e
Editor/Sportswriter A lex long women's basketball team in a
and our photographer, Brooke contest to be remembered.
I have been following
Budzinski.
Now, they lost. But it this team closely all season,
was a hell of a game between and I'm one of their biggest
two teams going at it for CAC fans and I admit it. On
regular season bragging rights. Wednesday night, I truly lived
This, of course, was not the first
CONTINUED ON PAGE 5
By JESSE THOMAS
Buff and Blue Staff
BREWY SrilV^;
' .
■ ' '■
Webmaster
StqffWriters
Lynette Gouker Emily T^^
■ oj r.M^vAfVSim.. ,AfnhfmyJ\^iilQeaij,,y
Erin Whitney
' .^
Board
(^Ad visors
BRUCE W H I T E
, :
JESSE'S JABBER
•• , layout Editor
CHICKEN NUGGETS
By SA BA ROBINSON
.
.
'
Buffand Blue Staff
Curses! According to T?ie Was/ii'ngiton Post ,the Metro
authorities are building a brand­new metrorail station in our love­
ly neighborbood. No longer will we have to mosey over to Union
Station on the shuttle to grab a ride. Now we can jump, skip, and
hop to the local friendly red line stop and hitch a ride anywhere in
town.
Indeed, the metro station is just what we need in this part
of town. You got to admit, in the last couple decades, the area has
declined into little more than a slum with a majestic university sit­
ting smack in the middle. We Gallaudetians have to slog around
the neighborhood and see the eyesores from 800 Florida Avenue
on a daily basis. The new metro station and the new Alcohol,
Tobacco and Firearms (A TF) Bureau being built here sure will
improve the neighborhood and return economic prosperity to the
tenants of Northeast D.C.
Why curses then? It wont be completed until 2004. I'll
graduate just before the new smart building is built, and then sev­
eral years before the metro station is built. I wont be able to par­
take in the lovely neighborhood improvements. Ah well, such is
life. I'm just glad that the neighborhood is getting the boost it so
desperately needs.
The metro station is going to be beneficial for all
involved. More business in the area, better mass transit, easier
commute for off­campus residents, the faculty, the staff, and an
improved look. I can't think of any cons to having a nice rail sta­
tion around the comer except that it's past due.
By the way, notice the newest muckraking episodes
occurring lately in the news? Yep, I'm talking about Bush and
McCain. Such poor sport Bush is, flinging names at McCain such
CONTINUED ON PAGE 5
Edtorial ; ;
BRENDA KELLER
Business
Ely Center Room 323
Mail:
Gallaudet Univershy
800 Florida Ave NE
B0X2334
Wa^ington D.C. 20002
E­mail:­
[email protected]
TIY:
(202)651­4916
Voice:
(202) 855­1000 ext. 651­4916
Facsimile:
(202)651­5916
The Birff and 8\i« is an intWpenident camptis nev^s­
pdfwr published b\ Gatlauclet Unnersity students. The Biiff aiid Bhie
15 nmilated i»eek!\ during the academic >ejr excluding final exami­
nation penods­ The Buff and Bliie operates as a non­profit student
of^nifircion.and ISfinanced^tirt'lyrfirough advertising, subscniJtion
^e^ef)l>es ani^ unix fefe. TIte Editor­fr­Ch»ef has the fina! airrfwritiofi
nev%sp3per oontent. The E«litor­In­Clae*­is chceen by an ad\i­SOT>
board, and s«r«es a$ chair for the board.
Nio part of the Btrff and Blue mav be reproduced or
diipiicatfrd in an> ioCm. indiidinf (paper or electronic. \vithQi.tt vixitten
permission from liw airrcnt Etiitor­fa­Chief.
The Btrff aod 8Jue wlcoines opinknis from its read­
ere. eipc^essed throu^ letter to the Edirof, addressed ID: Editor. The
fiirft and Blw. G^tnnirt Unl^■*rtirt. 800 Rorida A »^, N.E., P.O. Box
2334­ Warfttngton, IX: 20002. or throiigh e­maU « buff.hl(ie€^­
lau(iet4!<Ui. A ll contriUaing artides must be in the offices b> 5 p.m. at
the Monda> before pi^kstion. A ll Letters to the Editor must be
reca\ ed bs TitodaiV tt 5 ^j^ letters OIHS be signed. »ith a full name
andaddicss. lVBii^an}£hjeiesen7St})e/ighTii}edit«Rt Wterfar
cUm>, t«tf. an(l paimtur.
FKBKUARY 11, 2 0 O 0
•
T H E BCKF AND B L U E
•
PAGE
5
Qn the
MAGAZINE COVERS OF
ATTRACTIVE WOMEN- SO WHAT?
lisher would have changed their cover policies.
There is no doubt that a mind is more beautiful than a
body, but it's not possible to express that through a picture.
(U-WIRE) LAS VEGAS - Last Monday night, I was Magazines could put an open skullrevealingthe brain, or even
standing in line at a grocery store. A mother and her approxi- Steve Forbes on thefrontto display intelligence. Such grotesque
mately teenage child waited behind me. The mother kept fidget- images would likely never sell.
Some people continue to think the human body equals
ing with the cover of a Cosmopolitan magazine, featuring
Jennifer Love Hewitt with her breasts burstingfrioma shiny yel- sex and sex equals harm. I once heard that if you don't like the
low dress. "They'll do anything to sell a magazine," the mother human body, coinplain to the maker: We should appreciate
said. She folded thefrontcover aroimd the back of the magazine nature and its beauty and that indudes the human body.
and mumbled, "I have to bring my kid through here." She was
I seriously hope the national focus on crucial and
threatening issues will not dwindle down to magazine covers
obviously hoping to draw an agreeable responsefromme.
I had read about mothers raging against steamy maga- while there are more significant issues to focus on. I don't know
zine covers such as those from Cosmopolitan and Vanity Fair,about you, but I would love the opportunity to model on a magabut I neverfiguredto be standing in line beside one. I simply zine cover. We don't need the assumption in America that there
looked at her and said, "Excuse me, but I was et^ajdng the cleav- is somediing inherency dangerous about minors being e}qx>sed
to the hiunan body. Parents ignorantly try to protect chiMren
age of that woman. Vd appreciate it if you'd turn it back."
Herreactionwas more excessive than I expected. She from things they will inevitaUy be expcwed to.
If parents don't want their kids to know about S-E-X,
drop{>ed her jaw, said fm part of the reason such "filth" remains
at check out lines, pulled her things off of the conveyor, put Aem then go sdiead and ignore the subject Let them find out on their
own. ItH do more harm than good when your child, ignorant of
into her cart and proceeded to the next (3)eck-oirt lane.
Many parents now take issue witi) sudi seductive and birth control, comes home pregnant or wi& a {Regnant girlfriend.
beautifiil women on magazine covers at the grocery store check- Parents can only delay their childrenfiromexperimenting for so
out. I believe such magazines cannot, in any way, ^ p e or formi long. To try and hide a childfromsomeday joining forces with
threaten duldren. The covers portray beautifiil, sexy women. htunan nature is insulting.
They are laid out to draw attention to the model's physical beau- -„'.. .. ^Pladng'daric cowers ofverimgadnts is not a solution to
teenage prej^ancy'and Sn^s, nw cbulcif it be a step. Hanling
ty'
Call me-sexist, but morality doesn't seU; sex does. Do tiiese covers are terrible excusesforparental procrastination on
people buy Playboy magazines because they feel obligated by discussing sex-related topics. I vras always raised to not point the
morality, or because th^r like sex? In the same sense, if morality finger because it would more than likely return to me.
guided Cosmo buyers to avoid buying the magazine then the pubBy MIKE ZIGLER
The Rebel Yell Staff, University ofNevada at Las Vegas
NEWFRAT
ooivrnwED FROM PAGE 1
help others.
"Their goals were well thought out," A^xwla said. He
also added that Gallaudet needs thisfraternityto keep minority
students in school. Heformeriyserved on a committee to study
and help student retention. One goal of that committee viras to
encourage students to get together and build a support network;
students who do so are much moK likely to stay in and finish
school. The newfitrtemityputs that idea into action, Agboola
said.
A^XMla, a member of the Kappa Gamma fiatemity,
was selected because he is a positive role model, as a profiessor
visible on campus. He has been at Gallaudetfor15 years, participates actively in on-campus events such as co-diairing last fall's
Linwood Smith Fashion show.
Agboola's short term goals are to get the fraternity firmly established, to help it become visible and well-known on campus, and to build a widereputationamong the Gallaudet commimity so they can begin recruiting. He said that his long term
goals are to "serve as a link between the past and theftiture,"to
promote stability and consistency in thefi:atemity.For example,
he wants to ensure the fraternity doesn't fall apart after two or
three years.
"As afrkcuhymember, I personally was very happy to
see thisfi^temityfounded. Black male students don't succeed
weU at Gallaudet but now they have a chance to help support each
other."
The other eight members are Kwesi Panton, Carlos
Stennet, LaTrans Stroud, James Lago, Marcus Washington,
Jermaine Buder, Matt Maldiulski, and Benro Ogimyipe.
"We'd like the support of students, feedback, and
encouragement," said McCall.
JABBER
NUGGETS
CONTINVED FROM PAGE 4
CONTINUED FROM PAGE 4
and died with them throughout the whole game.
Thnmgh that fluny of St Mary's treys at the end of the
first half, the nerve-wracking,foul-riddledcomd>ack and Aat last
Seahawk flurty. Through it all, I dieered, screamed, cringed,
applauded, jumped, shouted, booed, stomped and fidgeted.
Then after it all, as this collection of vronderfiil young
women strode off thefieldwith tteir heads hanging, I stood up
and applauded.
The applause continuesforthis team to the very end.
Here's hoping the path to the very ends leads through a
rousing victory at St May'sforthe CAC Championship.
Til then, Happy Valentine's Ifey to you all.
as "hypocrite." Bush didn't agree with certain aspects of
McCain's platform and called him a hypocrite but gee, wl^ didn't Bush mention anything before he lost to McCain in New
Hampshire? Is he scared or what? Now they're accusing
each other of push-polling; calling potential voters and
influencing their votes. Do we really want
to vote children into the White House?
I hope not.
D-OHH!
The Simpsons is One of
Mankinas Greatest
Creations
A / M I C H A E L FOSNEK
BuffandOutStaff
No Other show in die histoiy of tdevision has takea their satirical stabtniie at just
about evraything diat levt^ves aroum us and
doesadamn fir^jobdrangit
' Th£teF'hive been dassicid episodes
yAHBK ycKfd %<iA Hom6r SmpsiHi, one d d i e
main (£aracteis^ admitting; that his most endiarlasangmoment was sconng a perfect 1600 aa
the SAT. And ntdiat about die one v^ieieHanira'
acddentaDy uses levexse p^dnlogy on himsdf?
Pure and simple, the Smpems havfor
the past 10 years that tnqi\e gtaoed die POX
Network, saftiiized just anxit eveiydiii% from
Microson to James Bond and Stanley Kutnick
movies to international govemmoits diat
believe that gimg scmeone's iear-«nd the'boof
QiteiaDy) is a sumidentform(^punishment
EveiythinK <xi diat paitkailar show is
greatly exaggmtedbut each satire alwEQ's hoiids
an elonent of trudi, desmte die frequmt attads
on various groups sum as the Chicago s i d
Korean Mafia, oooitities, die pcdkx dqpsotment
andjuvenile ddinquents, v^Kmer anyone woukl
wanttoadmitit ornot
Ihe show about ^ningfidd's most
&mous residoits has lasted ova- 10
because they sucoessfiiDy interweave
levds of humw, from die sui£aoe4ike j
oomec^ to die deeply abstract and sac
edgy moddiig of deqiiy coinpdtiiig sitoatkns.
W&t's even better is mat the vieweis are ooc»sicHi^ treated toalxilfiandysciqitedcambfatttion of bodi dements of oomeify and the Booic
part is diat it actual^ woks out perfect in the
respective q»sodes'pkAs.
Another interesting and often OMTkmked a^iect of the show is how d i ^ acliaijr
dononstrate goodwilL At the beginning of t w
show, diefenuKrrushes to gidio'aroundtfaetdesision as a rewcticm <tf umly. How many odier
tdevisicHi&mflies do that? Andfaowmanytones
have Bait and Lisa teamed imfaypottinK didr
siUiiig difl^enoes askfe to taade m i y Masonworthy mysteries sudi as investkating the
(&]se) deadi of Ktus^ die Ckwn. tdediy, die
characters dbm eir but ooBsecpioaoes usuaDy
occur instantiy and remoise is &my (pack to fellow.
Perhaps die most significant lesson
that the show has been broadca^ingfordie past
tQi years is diat we aD are eaaly misledby niBdiums swi] as television, ra^o, and the mtemet
and that we are all eaaty distractedfixxnodier
more samificant activities. No odier show on tdevision does the same with such droOery.
PAGE 6 •
THE BUFF AND BLUE
•
FEBRUARY ii, 2000
BI/ALUSONPOLK
kissing school, and so on.
Buff and Blue staff
TnwGems
The way to his
heart used to he through
his stomach. Then it was
through poetiy. TTien it
was a cute handmade card.
Then a dozen roses and
maybe some candy. Then
it was jeweby. Then art
"Iliensex.
No more, lliese
days, millions are search­
ing the Internet, eveiy­
body's­new­best­friend,
for quickie ways to show
their affection. And boy,
the "net is giving back.
All is not lost — not j'et, anyway.
There are a few truly entertaining
websites left ­ tiiose meant only to
amuse ortouchthe heart
Try reading the story of the
Valentine TTiief (http://www.freedo­
nia.com/­cari/valentine_thief/). No
ads, no advice, just a cute cartoon,
story — perfect for sharing witii your
sweetie prfdlow romance­freaks.
Quick — make a list of iiB your
prospective sweetie's names and enter
tiiem alongside yours on tiie sex tfaer­
m
o
m
e
t
e
r
(www.sextiiermometer.com) and$ee
how hot you giQV azde togetiier.
Checker,o«t;i rtbe.},jjne^n^
Romantix e­dne (littp://wiyw.build­
ii^yoursdfcom/IuvJitra). &)rtu|^ at
your heart^rings and peifai^ a little
of a tidde toyour fimiiy heme, dick on
the words Qfla»ff;)if^.jif!b%}s.'S^^
Say the Darnedest llbiiigs" meets
Videntine's I^y meets the Intern^
Gbittomxis Wd)masters
The
entry
"Valentine" or on any given
search engine will turn up
hundreds of thousands of
results. On infoseek.com
alone, there were more
than 12 million hits
returned.
.tLHj,­la ;,'
And get this: infoseek.com has o^italized on the
cyfoervalentine frenzy. They^ve £ E ^ O I I ^ t b w veiy own
Valentine Love­O­Meter on dieir Vdentine's Day GO Guide.
Click on any one of tiie categories, wiiedier it may be "True
Love," or "Just Friends," or even 'Puppy Love" for pet­own­
ers M^M) dont want to leave Fldo out
Lycos, the black lab AKA seardi engine, gets into
the spirit as well. No mushy stuff is strewn fSl over dieir site,
buttiievalentine spirit is instantaneously noticeaUe: Lycos's
paw rests on a heart
,
., ,
Any of these run­of­the­mifll Roniance­aholics's
sites the search engines turn up wpl have e­greetings, love
poetry, and the all­around must: die history of Valentine's
Day (see History Lesson on page XX).
TIK Epitome of Romance
For some, the most romantic moment tangible is
the marriage proposal. Even that has foiled to escape the
invasion of the Internet, and now at several sites one can
leave a proposal message on a website for all to see (try
http://www.rats2u.com/calendar_mn/calendar_mar­
riage.htm). Several websites will also let onereplyto a pro­
posal, whether it's "oh, honey, yes!" or "What, are you nuts?
Drop Dead!"
Too extreme? theknotcom is still on hand to help
out Check out their 10 Steamy Ways to Propose on
Valentine's Day. Hey, at least this is what the Internet was
inlen(ted£Br­:iBfaisfiati(HiexfaaDge! My posonal favmite:
customiziiig tii^'^^d^fi^i^ to read your petsmd mes­
sage to your sweetie (www.cu5U>rahearts.com).
Pn^Msalhotronuuiticorcyfoer­sawyeiiou^? Tty
marriage Tlufsr^it, ladies and gentiemeiL Weasachd­
lizaftion have imgressed soforthat we don't need to have an
actual i^Q^ical weddi)ng./iW|^j^ just type in our names and
get hitdied ordine (riote: of course, tids is neither l^al nor
. b i n d i n j ^ . , . . , , , ­ , , , ­ , \ \_.j,^';;­
Already inanied but diiiik your marriage could use
somefine­tuning?Don't,>r<>ni!f,folks,eveii you havent been
left out Try some online marriage counseling (http://inar­
riagecormsdingliiy!,!cqm — note: this specific site is real, and
costs money, but j» online counselteig none^i^ess), Tbere
are several other sites as wellfortiioseliot yet legiJly hitdied
­ sort of like Dear Abby CCH' lovers. Enter "love advice" in any
seardi engine and you'D be deluged witii options.,
^rtud marriage not working out? Simple: just as
life imitates art (ortiieodter way around, depending on what
school of (diilosoidQr you're from), cyberspace has become
our life. Cry a little, think about it, and then get a divorce
(http://www.expage.com/pagie/cyberdiVorce).
A Haven for the Romance-Retarded?
Click into seductionpalace.com and you're virtually
(no pim intended) taken care of for a thousand Valentine's
Days to come. Cheat sheets for love letters, love songs and
poetry...it's all here to guide you, lest you become brain­dead
enough to forget how to do these things yoursdf. Other
informationfireebieshere are redpes, screensavers, and e­
greetings.
Not sure what to do for your valentine? Click on
Love library or search almost any other Valentine's Day
Website for suggestions. Ideas at the Love Libi^ary range
from the mimdane — breakfost in bed — to tile suggestive—
bathing together — and with just a bit of inspiration, anyone
can make tiie sparks fly.
Going ordinary but tyber (or just broke) this year?
Virtualchocolate.com wad virtualfloristcom were designed
witii you b mind. Tempting but not­so­satisfying, these
graphic­heavy sites help sate tiie romance­drive of the love­
hungry.
Need to bone up on kissing tedmiques? Gotova*­
tualkiss.cotn. Not only w3I you get advice, you can practice
in tiie e­kissing boodi, pk^ some e­kissing games, go to e­ .
i i'­^,oii
Wfmtistobecomeafmankavi?
■Some pe««)lecm'gaBBPW^^
pntosan^tiie Internet to tiie pcdntwtere ll^^^f^^bKj^^^'^^
causes ti^n to neglect tiieir matii^Bes, funi^^'iuMJ'or job,
tiier^ resulting in proUems,"'s^ Anne Fed»wisdh in her
artide
"Internet
Addkfkm''
(bt^//www.hucsewedu»in/features/97­8/iaeicthtml}^
iydd$ Dr. John Suler, "On an even deeper psydio­
logical k!v^'usos often describe hs<^,|y^^,pQtiH^^.K
Qcteiision ( ^ ^ i r mind and posohality ­ a 'li»ce'i
rejects their tastes, attitudes, and interests.'J^.^ilt^fc,
"dyberspace as Psycholc^cal Space," can lie roimd 4t
http://www.rider.edu/users/suler/psy^yi|er/ps}^^^ace.ht
mL,
­J
'
^., .. 1 .
Where does this Internetfr<en^lead us, eqtedally
when our actual human interaction begins taking place in
this cyberspace? OIc^,«o not aD of pi«r mjsfnictipii i^ going
onto our inodeins, biit h^, it's getting there. !
Love is arguably tiie most hmnaOi of emptfons.
E]q>ressii^ it over the internet may skew one's perceptions of
mankind, especially if what we use is cookie­cut computer
graphics and commercialized gift and activity suggestions.
Hie phenomenon offoce­to­£aceheartfelt e?q>ression is feel­
ing the crunch as the Internet continues its' tsunami over our
lives.
There's an old,frimousquotetiiatgoes T o be loved
is to liveforeverin someone's heart'
If our hearts can exist in cylierspace, then perhaps,
so can love.
E
4
FEBRUARY U, 2000
•
THE BUFF AND BLUE
•
PAGE 7
The Cupid Craze
Delta Epsilon­
It was a daik and stpi^^B^^^iah, let me
ttyagain.
^^^^^^"'
ILY!
­M
HeyGallaudetian,
Svvabsboy.
Get a job!
I can^ understand how mudi you love me
but I do understand how mudi I love you.
I sold wanni^ love vft^^K­wijf
Mark«
­Eneiigizer
TbnqroBlytnietove^HappyVialentHJe!
J08-;
Love,
Swabsgiri
^ c .,
E v ^ ^ ^ is Valentine's Day.
Tott »^#<rag'sbe mine.^
:;TbiBikij# forl*eing t i ^ for me when I
jnee^yi^llove you.
my sweetheart Trofi,
l
Yoji'r^ the best thing diat evo­ hajqiened to
»e! Hiq^y^den^'sD^
Hi^py WleirttDeDoy!
ThaiikTOUiforypuripatiertw/itofelkiveySu
ToJeii­ ■'.'•''''"/''_"■' ■"■''
HaiJ^\aaitine*S. I loi»e you.'' '^­^
Pii«
JSeniias,' '~
Hi^igr VateD«iDe's Dc$f
:%A»eaJwM>
Candy
De^Tkn^uftfHj
Vfevd Ifs b e ^ l a n e ftan seven ffionAs.
­ ^aoldniEmwaidtoabeantifidBfe^OPgrda^
<:' s<; n<tiaiisyii.'t(«etiicr.'B(MetojiBi aivtUns is
Beat­
Beat JBeat_
lean fed yom­
paaOMtWim.
1 ?hP9'j.T!0jS<J^.V/'<­­''^'­') liJ^'lV­V. ­
Hi
/T'.'o '­ny tis
OnistiaB
^ . ;v > ■­
LoveAlwiQ^
GoardoIXFtetro
Happy Valoitine Day to my sweet bead I
^Vn^s­lbwyonl'Mb one can sted nty heart
ftotfjfoUl­
rendezvous » the QMlcar Baktaiy
K a ^ Giiftin^ Wi Kapito' Zeti, i)eha
^Mlon, KaK>a SigmaC Deltt Zeta and Delta
S^pia^:
V
, , .
^, ^
Hotdsaiakmi­
PesKes and loves to all roomies!
From Alpha Sigma Pi
­from thefifttiwheel
Pudiy,
Squealor,
My Corazon es tu yo para siempre en nvestra
vida.
No love could
readJ deep inside of my heart
a
except youis.
Monkey
Cheny,
Soup­
Thanks for
I love you v e ^ 6^
151!:)
"
B­
>
Tyler­
^veB.
^:^
Lowe,
Caio^
Youriny.BFP. ^
lioveya!
'Jeiii
Lbw^'
CuteKstB
­Tea, milk, 1/2 sugar
Happy Vaieritine's bay!
HapjyValaitin^sy
Noiaa,
V',
CHIMP Itove you
CHIMP I love you
CHIMP I love you
CHIMP I love you
CHIMP I love you
CHIMP I love you
CHIMP I love you
CHIMPIk>veyou
CHIMP Itoveyou LCXIAL
CHIMP Ifc)veyou LOCAL
CHIMP I love you LOCAL
CHIMP I love you LOCAL
CHMPI love you LOCAL
CHIMP I love you LOCAL
CHIMP I love you LOCAL
CHIMP Iteveyon LOCAL
CHIMP Itoveyou LOCAL
CHIMP I kwe you LOCAL
CHIMP Itoveyou LOCAL
CHIMP Iteveyou LOCAL
CHIMP I krve you LOCAL
OHMPItoveyou LOCAL
CHIMP I love you LOCAL
CHIMP Itoveyou LOCAL
'
Happy Valentine's Diiy! Ilove you!
­MMmny ^ "' ' '
Ptobafaly the fint one you've ever recoved?
Nottfiela^ Hiq)BrV­Dv.
ipy Valentine's day! Sisters 4­
IWSQIS,
Valentine's day.
Just wanted to say I love ya aD. Sisters forev­
er.
Love, Kami
Trans,
Take a litde note to remind yoursdf in case
you didnt know­1 IX>VE YOU. Wrte this
down!
Lovealwi^,
Kartie
PA>;!;S
THE BL'FF.VVD BLUE
FKBRCAR"!' 11, 2 0 0 0
taft\­.
you're so cute and sweet. I could just eat you
up!
Love ya,
me
HEY MEEKO
HAVE A GREAT \'ALENTINE'S
DAY wrrH US
FROM
FARF AND
JENNA (WAGGIN' TAIL)
To Dia:
BAK. BECK & RA^'NI­
LGVTNG EVERY MOMENT ­
SPICING UP LIVES WTTH YOU ALL!
XOXO
KARI
My heart beats ever>' second for you. My love
is growing stronger and stronger for your
wonderful charming smile.
Love,
Mark
Red Rooster,
RHO­
YOU ROCK MY WORLD!
Loveyou­
.:,;..,;,;,:,;,;.,,.^. Angel;
MD,
Let's be wild!!
AvvToo... Woof.!
Happy Valentine's
Hugs & Kisses
­PB
Pledges of Alpha Sigma Pi Fraternity
XOXO
Loudmouth
T o the pledges^^^^SaBigi^ K Fraternity,
W^ wishypu^^ob^iusi
the good
Keep up your hard work! I love you all
Jonathan Guinta
My Hotel,
Let's steal the nigfet.
­Bandit
Teddy Bear
^^ r; ' ^ ^
the Alpha Sigma
ILYBKI
I really love you infini^!!
Happy 'Valentine's Day'.l
Love Hugs XOXO
Tweety; ;,;•■■ ,;»V; } ; ■ : , ;
^Joey
■re AMD MUYSIEMPRE QUERIDA MIA!
­JGAM
r3rtierKa|:^f.,"?.s;,r: ;:;/■■
Yoti'ne a sp©!3al vdentine for me, my baby. I
vlayeyout"::;:.*lr :
.;:/;>Ray
Delta Zeta Sisters:
Be my Valentine!
Shay
Spiderman:
You're burning me up, baby!
Shewolf
Kaika^i
PossessioBil:5^lOfl^:af:ift*eJ|M|j
;|IJ(jiS5l;js^ wi||t ^B my heart, love your sacy
i::||3l|s.;;:Hi|^Val. D ^
Wff£ym:<ijt'
Love Gator
Rayni-- .•■;;!'*■.I ^ ^'*f l l i l l j
RogFog­
^W­r
You rest, you rust! Happy V­Day;
Hey Mabinogians,
Remember that love is a verb, not a noun.
­Guinevere
i : ^ all my closest friends, Allison, Athena,
Melissa, 'Victoria, Courtney, Tiffany, Adam
and the entire CCC! Happy Valentine's Day
Love
Mic
RayRay
Cherry,
Wub your soft body. Can't wait to see ya.
Lil Dumbo
I know that our long distance rela­
tionship can be HEARTACHE however,
you will be ALWAYS in my heart.
Love Always,
Rosebonny
Snuggle bear.
You are still in a special place in heart. Ill be
thinking of you
ItgerLa^,
Keep your smile bri^t Happy Valentine's,
Hog Guy
iM$.r
To Natica,
;4 anvsj^iSiMiiili
I love y q # ^ i ^ | i ^ | ^ |
1/-ylliillillli­Kenny
will!! BOOOSCH!
Kappa Gamma P i e c e s ­
Roommates of 304 @ Carlin,
Enjoy your Vad<fy with your special one!
Hugs,
G.D. Collector
Jeshan
All in due time
­Your beloved widows
To my Honey Ray Freeman
I love you
cant bdieve we are
lilliiiMiciiSf"'
YourJi^
peachy/DigustinTi­
Happy Vaddy! I look forward to spending
many more vaddys wuth you! Lefs make our
1st Vaddy a memorable one! ILYVMAMM­
MM
Homy Digustin64
My Darling B.
Baylor
I love you. You have given me your precious
gifts­ love, sweetness, sensitive, trust, close­
ness, understanding, and caring. You are the
best Valentine that I've cherish so much. I
love you.
Love,.Jf. ,.,'/...V
Happy 1st Valentine's Day
With Love­ Mom
tS.^5 !;j;..;i;:35'''': ;l'fejtt*iiDys are the best
Jesse
Dearest Nikki
^ Always Love!
jifttes.™:;" Sit
Ralphie
Bruce, I love you. Wonder Woman is okay,
but you're better. Let's fly away together.
­Superman.:''
Avisleim,
Miss not having you at JA. Ofc! Hope your
reddy day be a spc^al one! Thanks for being
such a greatftioKitiiy^ *
■ LiiilililiiM',,,,,
||il^|||^|§|i|^^.Zeta
^ i l lj l | | | ^ | i : ^ ? P t ­ f i ] l e d Valentine's Day!
This ft^^:i^i|jf ; ^ ' i | p i | y ^ i | | | ^ ^ | |
want
Day!
D­
With lots of owl
take. ^ ^ 6 e r t 8 i t ^ i f V < ^
TwoinOneAK«li
^^i^l^^^w^t^^^^^^^'j^^^^
mm
-him
H^ipy Vakatine's 1
Vm-'W&iVWi&Sm^
Richard,
Will you be ni^f^iattipSf ; i | | i | |
Ben,
y­ ,j ­4 *Iiistead of kissing your ass 50
taiMss, IWin give you my infinity love!
AK
To my sweet Pago,
;"Jr|:'y/':;;tr >B!r';;;:;
wisiiiiiiiiii*
;:: J :::Ki
You are dear to my heart! HMB?)
You put me in ecstasy to your sfWe^bitiatii &
to these kisses from your lips vMdkfiHme Flatulent Mirror­
with passion. I love you!
Thanks for brightening up my days
and laughing at my jokes.
Love, Liz
­You Know Who
wonderful Valentine's Day
­Your Strawberries
SUPES­
YOSEMTTESAM!
­BABES
Ladybug,
; i r t i i l i S i fi^be&i«^ere for me. XO,
Pendai'
On A&rch 27, our hearts collided, on July
4, we met again. On December 31, our
hearts forever becameone. 1 love you always
and forever.
Mutuku
FEBRUARY H, 2000
Faisal,
I want you so bad!
Your secret admirer
CC:
Another year going by again. Yet we remain
as strong as friends. You'll always be in my
life. Thanks for everything.
Love, Scarlette
Waldos of Cogswell Hall,
Happy Valentine's Day. Smyle,
Cookie
Hakuro,
You are always my most important vroman in
my whole life. You are always good to me.
Happy Valentine! I always love you!
Jon
Aleya,
Mo! nui, cogita ergo
HOBO
Aseada,
Happy Valentine's Day Nakupenda,
Cookie
:■
'
tu..AT SHELI
Touria,
Happy Valentine's Day. Miss Ya! Love,
Deidre and Treeva
BreezeOcea,
Happy valentine Day!
Steelers
;AI%,
Happy Valentine's Day. Luwies,
: / ■ ; . ; ; ■ Cookie:;:
Women Bison Basketballers,
Thank you for every time you all leave your
heart out on the court, and just for being who
you are. Happy Val's Day,
#205 down the hallftximRJM.
Kenny­
Kenny ­ ^^*t­''!."N: •
" ^ ^ M f e " it says all
­ick
Dear women baslcetbaH team,
Happy Valentine Day and good luck on ^
games! Xoxo
Matilda and Paulina
ELG
JagaJSkardlgH' ■
.­­.■.,v^
• ■ "
^
iMyBeteVetfSeottc'
Keep up! Can't wait to have you in my arms!
I love you tons! Smack! Love,
LB.
■-
1
■.
i'L
PKZ Sisters, "­9"<­
LLPKZ!
An Owl
Mr.WWF­
Every time I see you, you brighten up my day
Dad,
Happy Birthday,
Ben
Happy Valentine's Day to my family and my
LOVE, Michael.
­ Bluey,
You know how you ask me all the time how
much I love you? Well, I think you got the
idea now, don't ya? Hebe. Love aJways,
Birffy
-^''
iBqq^q
Kock­::.­^v;;.. ;v
Kampa pa och rar staik! Ci arstolte over dig!
VtenaKramar/
Matilda and Paulina
Pratt2i,
Thank you for being a nice friend. Our
friendship is verv' unique. Keep positive and
be strong yourself in your heart. Happj'
Valentine's Day. Love your friend,
KHCCUEI
Beth and Toy,
Thanks for the wonderful friendship. DZ
luvvies,
Cookie
Dear PKZ ­
Happy Valentine Day to our beloved sisters!
Xo.
Matilda and Paulina
Dear Niks,
Thanks for being you! Let us get together
soon! Xoxo tons,
Matilda
­UNNAE GALLING
I'M SORRY FOR EVERYTHING. I LOVE
YOU!
­CHRIS
Wide Load­
(ROWR!)
Love always
.
Popeye,
You are so handsome. Love,
Us!
Zipper,
I just wanted to let you know that you are
special to me and my life I really k)ve you!
Happy Valentine Day! Love,
Wiki
Babe,
;.: ^
I'll be loving you forever. Thaiks &r bong
there for me.
Elma
Stud Muffin,
Happy Valentine's Day. ILU!
Love Always, Sweeitie Joy Pie xoxo
FooFoo,
/ have an id ea! How cd tout you
bring the cookies - III toss in the mUk!
Never forget, *58 Derrick Thomas,
is with you at heart, ahoays.
Happy VDay & hieky stgthi
YTQ -Bubbeee!
Bean,
Be mine?
t
Jono
THE BUFF AND BLUE
Sky III
Will you fly witli me?
­Daisy
Elfros,
I wish I could be with you on Valentine's Day.
Savannah misses you deariy and so do I.
Hang in there. . . .1 will be strong for you.
We're here for you always. I love you.
­JuAnne & Savannah
RAYNI
You put my loin on fire seemingly inextin­
guishable! Yet I still hate you because I'm
gay!
Smile
Percy,
Soy a fortondo tenerie en mi vida.
Usted sera por favor mi valentine?
-Jessi
My beloved Honey, Brandon Richard
Hint
YAIAO! I EXTREMELY LOVE YOU &
YOU SURELY ROCK MY WORLD
every second. YAIAO! Wish Fd be
with you on the V-day but we will be at
heart.
-Love- Sweetie
Lawa ­
You are the Xena to my Gabrielle. Happy
Valentine's day.
­Bef
To my Delta Zeta Sisters­
Keep the flame burning. Happy Valentine's
Day.
­Bethaney
KAPPOE
Will you be my Valentine?
ME
Abercrombie­
I LOVE YOU!
­Fitch
Volcano­
Ready to explode?
­Cumbucket
Charlotte­
Always know you hold & special jiaoe in my KAPPOE
heart.
Ready to read] the stars?
­Your Big Sis
aiE; ,.,v ./ .
Silmoon,
Thank you for being in my life! I love you
very much! Love,
ASICVBALL
Karrie­
;
-■■■-'. /:.,
The semester is the end for a £ L^s make it
a good one together.
­Your little Sis
Jessica Williams,
Again, again, and again, you're STILL the
only drug I'm addicted to. Your #1
Superstuddering Lover,
Jagannath Einhom
Kafleen­
I want to know how proud I am of you icxc aD
the great things you've done in your Hfe. I
love you.
­Your Little Sis
To Gary Seaton,
You are my best Valentine. I love you very
much. Love always,
Kit^Fogar^
PAGE 9
Miss Amy Novotny­
Happy Valentine!!!! With Love,
­Rust
Kesnow,
Catering?
Kesnow
Delta Epsilon,
If ya smell what the humble dreamboat....is
cooking!
­Your Humble Dreamboat
•
-«'6«iiiBirtee"«'''? ^'•■"i '
5'> . -..v M>€'t ■ : ..
•
Cookie­
I care about you very much. I am very blessed
you are in my life. Huggies.
Bethaney
Lejoulet ­
I love you so much that sometimes I have to
cry. Happy Valentine's Day.
Die Blue Eyes
To a certain Lofve Monkey •WOOF, yoa monml*
Lov<^ Podkie
Dailb^Mic S k ^ ,
l l i r o i i ^ Waldos, apes and a canary,
ttirou^ morbid dreams of runaway
weddings, the end of the worid and
necrophilia, I wuv ya!
Love,
Sicky
Babe,
Happy <3's Day!
I love you lots always and forever!
­Honey
Osiebear,
This is the year for the two of us! Together as
BF always! Thanks for everything! ILY!
­Chreka
PAGE 10 •
THE BUFF AND BLUE
•
FEBRUARY ii, 2000
Restaurant Review
Santa Fe Looks Cool
But Disappoints Easily
the cool-looking spinach and artichoke
dip, no matter how trendy you're trying
to be.
Then we ordered. My lucky
Santa Fe should be easy for
any Gallaudetian to find; it's directly date got some Cajim Chicken. I asked
behind Ratsie's in College Park and for the Build-Your-Own pizza with
boasts Christmas lights and giant spinach, onions, and feta cheese (hey, I
lizards year-round. Unfortunately, food like spinach). But no, no pizza was
ii; this restaurant is harder to rustle up. available. Okay, plan B: a grilled chickFor my guy's 21st birthday din- en on foccaccia sandwich. At least that
ner, we went on a Friday evening still had feta cheese. And I could dupe
around 6:30 p.m. fearing the worst myself into thinking I was being
lines, but were pleasantly surprised to healthy: there were baby greens and
be seated right away. First impression: tomatoes in a balsamic vinaigrette.
The wait was relatively short,
wood. Lots of wood. There's wood paneled floors, wood ceilings, wood beams, but we had plenty to keep us entereven wood decorations. The bar is the tained: Santa Fe has one of those
first thing you see, right in the middle, Playmaker trivia games where you can
almost like an oasis. Behind that is a compete vrith other restaurant patrons,
platform (made out of wood, of course) and don't forget the band. Being the
upon which the live band performs, deafies we are, we opted for the
giant speakers perching right above din- Playmakers. Ironically, the next round
ers directly under the platform. If was the music trivia round. Even more
you're the antsy type, don't sit there. If ironically, we placed first and second,
you like feeling the vibes of the music, beating out the rest of the competitors.
One of the patrons accused me of being
go for it.
Have your I.D. ready - it's the gay in the Playmaker chatroom and
first thing they ask for, even before asked if I could speak Chinese. Hmm.
"smoking or non-smoking?" Under- Great atmosphere.
Our food came, and my dqte
agers like me, never fear—just tell them
you only want to eat, and the host or scarfed his food down, looking like he
hostess will seat you away from the bar enjoyed it. The Killian's Red was pleas(which, coincidentally, are the best ing him quite a bit as well. I had a bit
seats). Be prepared, however, to have more difficulty, losing bits of lettuce,
servers make a fuss if drinkers in your onions, and feta cheese onto my lap
group order - they'll have to check and continuously. The chicken only filled
half the sandwich, much to my disapdouble-check.
Looking for proof as to how pointment. But hey, at least it was good
much this establishment is alcohol-ori- and tart while it lasted.
I still had room for more, and
ented? Ask what their non-alcoholic
beverages are. I did, and this is what we were caught up in my Playmaker (his
froze), answering celebrit>' questions
happened (no kidding):
and accusing other people of being gay.
BNB-UNDERAGER: Could I have a So I played musical menu again. I
ordered the peanut butter pie. Nope,
Strawberry Daiquiri - virgin?
WAITRESS: No, sorr>', our machine is not available. Okay, how about the ice
broken. Is there anvthing else on the cream? Sorry, all out. Well, turtle
cheesecake? Yeah, that we have.
menu you'd like?
BNB-UNDERAGER: Well, there's no sodas Hallelujah.
Now, I don't like chocolate, so
listed. Do you have any?
I only ate the middle. Inevitably, some
WAITRESS: Uhh... oh yeah, Coke.
chocolate syrup and oreo cookie bits
BNB-UNDERAGER: An>thing else?
WAITRESS: [long, hesitant pause] Oh! made it into my mouth, and I'll tell you
this: that's rich chocolate. It's also good
Sprite! Yeah, we have Sprite!
BNB-UNDERAGER: *sigh* Okav, that'll cheesecake. It is not, however, worth
the four bucks for a 2-inch slice.
do.
So while I won't be making a
My date, however, quickly repeat visit anvtime soon, there's no
ordered his first legal drink, a Killian's hard feelings. Maybe I'll come back
Red, but not after a full minute of perus- when I'm 21 and can drink myself into
ing the full page of beverages available believing this is a great place.
(and yes, the names were in small
Service: A+, always friendly,
print).
quick, courteous.
Food: C, availability was awful,
They had one of those spinachartichoke-cheese dip thingies on their quality was good when you could get it.
Atmosphere: A, more like a
appetizers on the menu, and for any college student who's watching her weight graduate student kind of place, I think.
but assumes it's okay 'cause, hey, it's got Definitely not a family restaurant.
Value: B, don'talways get what
a vegetable in it, that kind of dip is a
must. I liked the chips, but the dip was you want, but entree prices are surpristotally awful. It was soupy, had more ingly reasonable. A dinner for two was
artichokes than anything else, and less than $30, appetizer, alcoholic bev^,
reminded me of cream of mushroom erage, and dessMt included.
soup. My date hated the chips, but said
the dip was okay. So be warned: avoid
By ALUSON POLK
Buff and Blue Staff
Bah Humbug!f
On the Day of
Hearts, Scrooge
Strikes Back
By JOHN A SERRANO
Buff and Blue Staff
As the inevitable approaches,
my stomach chums with a pang of
emptiness. The thought of celebrating
Valentine's Day alone shudders me.
Attempting to get this holiday out of my
mind, I go out for a walk. Aimlessly, I
walk past by a large store window that contains of an excessive display of Valentine's Day
chocolate candies.
Bah Humbug! Why do we all have
to succumb to buying cheap chocolate candies? Sighing wearily, I meander and stumble
upon a couple sitting on a wooden bench, cuddling each other and telling each other how
they love each other in countless ways.
Bah Humbug! I take a turn, thinking
about how this holiday seems overrated especially for those who have to celebrate alone. A
greyhound bus grinds slowly past me with an
advertising sign on it that exclaims:
"Hallmark; A great place to shop for your loved
ones."
Bah Humbug! Realizing the futility
of trying to avoid this dreaded day, I give up
and walk back to Gallaudet.
Valentine's Day is indeed a "storybook" holiday for couples. It's the day when
couples reflect their love for each other. It's
the day when couples give each other gifts to
remind how much they appreciate and love
each other. It's the day when they splurge on
cheap chocolates or a day-old rose for their
loved ones.
But for
those who are
single, tis' the
day when they
sit alone at their
dinner tables,
fantasizing that
a hot date is sitting in front of
them. Red roses
lie on the table,
untouched.
Valentine's Day
is no celebration
for the singles,
that's for sure.
Displays of hearts and cupids are everywhere
and we keep getting reminded of the sad fact
that we, the singles, couldn't land a decent
Valentine's Day date. Oh, why does this have
to happen to us? Why did this have to be me?
I could go on and on but I'm not
gomg to. Look at the bright side: I am not
going to gain any unnecessary pounds fi-om
eating chocolates or waste my tears after being
overjoyed on a Valentine's Day gift. Fm not
going to get myself awkward or embarrassed
by shopping at Victoria's Secret for lingerie. At
least, the clerk won't snicker and give me that
'look." At least, I am not going to waste my
time searching for the perfect "Hallmark"
card. If I forget to buy something, I won't get
slapped.
But why do I still get that nagging
feeling that I'm missing something? Why is
there still a pang of emptiness inside me? Bah
humbug!
I know vyhat Xn^, g.qingto do that day;
grab myself a bottle of Vodka and watch
"Rambo". By the way, Happy Valentine's Day.
Bah Humbug!
History Lesson
This Week in Ancient Rome
Hieros Gamos
Gamelion (mid. Jan - mid. Feb.) was called
the "Month of Marriage." The sacred marriage
(hieros gamos) was celebrated at the end of
the month to mark the marriage of Zeus and
Hera.
Preparator\' to such an important event was a
period of abstinence. February was the month
for purification. Since the Roman calendar
began with March, February' marked the end
of the year and the time to get ready for the
new. The word from which February comes
means purification or purgation. Twin themes
of purification and fertilit>' come together in
the Lupercalia where it is believed the strips of
goatskin with which women were ritually
whipped would purify and make them fertile.
paired up boys and girls who stayed matched
until the
next Lupercalia.
St. Valentine's Day
There may have been a real Valentine, a thirdcentury priest who defied Emperor Claudius
II's ban against wartime marriages. According
to legend, Valentine performed secret marriages until he was discovered and put to
death. There's another legend in which a persecuted Valentine had a secret correspondence to which he signed his name "your
Valentine."
Candlemas
The Light Returns Imbolc, Oimelc, Brigit's
Day, The Feast.of'the Purification of the Virgin
Mary, Groundhog's Day, and Candkmas are
Lupercalia
all holidays thatj^cur in the first,hajf of
This holiday, celebrated on the ides of February. SctfJieo^ Aese>holWays.,may-4ctualFebruary (the 15th), honored Lupercus (also ly be around Jebnjftry ,^,beftause>«4j'^ffer§nt
called Februus) and Faunus (associated with metijp4s-,Qffig^iflflg%;!^pdar,,('33w_»^ a
the Greek Pan), and probably the fouaders <rf. jjwpuiar h>5K>^e^ tb^t.-lvgf^fj^ ^ r ^ w i j f ; ^
Rome, Romulus and Remuj, as well.
' I^rci,^JriestsotLu^i^Jan^redihemselv6s wth^crificiatbloM^aild Went through
te s b ^ t s vstep'pilig'wlji^n vfith the aforementioned goatskin thong. The jpriests also
Compiled from
http://wunv.aboia.com
'J-
nq
r.A
FEBRUARY ii, 2 0 0 0
•
THE BUFF AND BLUE
PAGE 11
­^■■^~**v.'T^"*­j ^^vT^r'"*
Ender's Shadow rMfe
Beyond Belief and Reality
By ALUSON POLK
Buff and Blue Staff
guy is somewhere around
six years old, come on!
Still, it's fascinating.
Hardback, Published by
Fast­forward to Battle
Tor Books, 1999; 379
School, where kids are
pages.
sent to become military
leaders against the
After roughly
impending war with the
fifteen years, Orson Scott
Buggers, aliens who want
Card hasfinallyanswered
to invade and take over
E n d e r p h i l e s .
Earth.
There, Bean
Enderphiles,
better
devises ways toremainin
known as the people who
control of his destiny. He
read Ender's Game and
squeezes through air
loved it, screaming for a
ducts and spies on top­
sequel but left unsatisfied
secret
conversations,
with the two philosophic
plans. He hacks into
and rambling books that
computer systems and is
followed. Ender's Shadow is not a sequel,
ablie to read classified information.
but it isn't a prequel either. Rather, it's a
Even in the dog­eat­dog world of
complementary novel.
12 and 13­year olds. Bean survives. He
Reading Ender's Game is not
studies Ender, a fellow soldier at Battie
required fere for those who want to try
School vrfio has all the elite militia up in
Shadow (although it should be).
arms, to the point he becomes his right­
Remember Bean, the littie squirt nobody
hand man. Of course, this was Bean's plan
wanted in their army in battle school?
all along. He gets lost in his hero­worship,
Ender's Shadow is to Bean as Ender's
so much that sometimes he foi:gets to take
Game is to Ender Wiggin.
care of himself.
Bean is the little genius who
As always. Card brings the same
finds himself on the mean streets of mind­boggling light to child psychology
Amsterdam (remember, this is science­ and genius minds, as he does to space
fiction ­ Amsterdam is really mean in travel and technology. As if this isn't a
Card's world), among the bands of monumental enough task, he does it with
orphans. The weakest orphans band flair, effectively painting each character
together, and bullies prey on them every with human characteristics that make you
once in a v^ile, trying to steal what food hate, want to ciy, beat people to a bloody
they can. Five peanuts»is considered a pulp. The only character without these
meal.
emotions is — yep, you guessed it: Bean.
Enter Bean, and overnight, bul­
Card's only failure is that you
lies and gangs have merged, and everyone keep forgetting Bean is only six years old!
is getting the food they deserve. How But then again, maybe that's truly his vic­
Bean sneakily and subtiy acherves this is tory. It's evidentiy Bean's victory as well.
part of the wonder that is his mind. Tlie
The Onion: A Website
for Sore Eyes
By EMILY TEPUN
Buff and Blue Staff
that's funny. But ifthere's some ass on Wall
Street who's wearing a $4,000 pair of shoes,
then that's fiinny. Or if there's a'^middle
http://www.theonion.com
manager who's forced to wear a uniform,
that's sad, but it's also fiinny. And so we just
"I've always wanted to sell out," try to get it all."
the infamous film­maker John Waters
And how they succeed! No layer of
wrote in the igSo's. Tlie problem is nobody America's social, cultural or political fabric
wanted to buy me." Waters gained his envi­ is left unruffled by the Onion's ruthlessly
able nickname "the king of bad taste" by satirical headlines. Conservatives take heat
putting societal taboos on the big screen in ("Bush Reaches Out to Hispanic
his eariierfilmsfrom the 70's.
Community With Generous Tip", Jan. 26),
Anything sacrilegious, disgusting, along with liberals ("ACLU Defends Nazis'
unap{>eaiing or just downright sick and Right to Bum Down ACLU Headquarters").
twisted Waters gave homage to (the most The Onion's humor extends from the bath­
famous scene from his classic "Pink room ("Beautiful Nurse Gives Teen
Flamingos" shows Divine, an enormous Enema", Jan. 12) to tiie banal ("Definition
drag queen with a mohawk, eating dog of Fudge­tastic Stretched", Jan. 19).
feces). Alas, in his more recent fSms, his
While coimtless sources have
impeccable bad taste seems watered dovra
attempted to draw parallds between the
(forgive the pun); as he gains prestige,
Onion and predecessors in the realm of
Waters seems to have somewhat sold out
humor writing, from National Lampoon to
Not so for the Onion, a satirical Jonathan Swift, the Onion's brazen origi­
weekly news pubhcation operating out of nality is difficult to define. Better to check it
Madison, Wisconsin. The once­tiny local out for yourself.
parody paper has grown into one of tte
Slice into the Onion, and don't be
most frequented and beloved internet sites, surprised if your eyes water from laughing
not to mention the popularity of its first too hard.
book published last year (Our Dumb
Century: 100 Years of Headlines from
America's Finest News Source). Yet, despite
this boom (one dingy room in Madison to
corporate offices in 4 American cities), the
Onion remains true to its cut­down­any­
, and­everything'­at­aW­eosts af^oaeh­ to
news coverage.
In an online interview with
Borders.com, assistant editor Carol Kobb
explains the Onion's unique brsmd of
humor "We try to hit it all. We go high and
we go low. If there's some trucker and he's
wearing a hat that says, 'I'm a Perfect ix.'
"Gun Shy"Succeeds as Comedy, Thriller
By MICHAEL ROSEN­MOUNA
Daily Bruin Staff, Uniuersity ofCalifbmia at Los Angeles
Humor
How to Go Insane At School
Piatt appears as hulking hired­
1. live in a non­coed dorm for two (+) years.
muscle­tumed­boss Fulvio Nesstra, a
2. Set record time on academic probation.
sadistic brute who strikes fear into the
3. Predict female behavior.
(U­WIRE) LOS ANGELES ­ "Gun
hearts of all his associates, but caimot
4. Look for a good party on Sunday night
Shy" is the only gangster flick about water­
stand up to his shrewish wife (Mary
5. Become so liored as to read textbooks in advance.
'^i^^^^^g^^i^^i
melons, enema conversations and a gangster
McCormack). Like Chariie, Fulvio is
6. Procrastinate...
who is very sensitive to stereotypes about
tired of the gangster lifestyle, seoedy
7.
Count the minimum number of credits left to
Colombian drug lords.
longing to retire and become a tomato
graduate.
Neeson stars as Chariie, a Mafia
former.
8. Anticipate what you'U REALLY be domg after
middleman who acts as an informant to the
Slowly, both Chariie and Fulvio
graduation, (serious begging)
FBL His dangerous career has left him with
must come to terms v>rith their careers
9. Convince someone (or yourself) that you enjoy
nothing but fi^zzled nerves and horrible
and decide what they should do. In die
engineering.
intestinal problems, and Charlie wants out
ws
worid of sub rosa contracts and dirty
10. Try to find someone with the answers.
If he can arrange one last deal, a money laim­
double­crosses, getting out is easier said
u. Explain som^hing you don't understand, (great
dering scheme involving the Italian mob and
than done.
for presentations)
a Colombian drug cartel, he canfinallyretire
"Gun Shy" gets off to a confudng
12. Pass up offers from attractive women to go out
to a little estate in North Africa with an ocean
start, but events soon begin to coalesce
drinking because you have to study, dien blow off
view.
as moK information is revealed. Hie
studying an}'way and sit at home alone.
Unable to cope any longer, Charlie I
plot is tightly written and always
13. Conform.
joins a local support group to work through
engrossing. Blfdcenqr's script delimits in
14.
Go to a video rental place with 2 or more friends.
his troubles. Thou^ this predictable scenario at first recalls the both building up the absurdity of gangster diches and exposing
("...Fve SEEN that!!!")
recent "Analyze This," "Gun Shy" is something entirely different the less­than­glamorous truth bdiind them. His direction per­
15. Find out wfa^ parties are going on when you
Expertiy blending black humor and pulse­pounding fectly fits Ae darkfy comical tone of the movie, mixing r^ity
have honiew(»k backed up.
suspense, writer and director Eric Blakeney weaves a hilarious and fantasy, l a u j ^ and dirills.
16. Find some gods. (IH stop procrastinating next
yet gripping tale of conspu­acy and intrigue.
'Gun SOif succeeds as a comedy and a dirfller.
week.)
Hie oti^r players in diaitk's last deal are no less col­ Unfortunatebr, it doesn't quite succeed as aromance.C3iai&'s
17. Make fim (^Greeks, but tiy to go to dieir parties.
orfid than die rest of the movie. Jose Zuniga idiQfs tq>ti^ Fidel, rdationdiip with spunky nutse Judy (BuUodc, repriang bar
18. Have evnydiing due (projects, tests, etc.) afin­a
a young drug baron who tfaibws a fit upon hearing that the dirty &niiliargiri­next­<kiorrole)never.quite gds, and BuQodi's diar­
money E5 bdng invested in soy beans, a dedskm wfakfa he inta­­ acter»enis made of canBioud. But for one of tiw few tndx_ big party wedcend.
19. Keqifl^dDf^the same mistakes.
prets as a reference fo "beanets" and a s t i ^ agamst his Latin enjiqwile niowies that manages tn DsOe 3m'sni& as )QU Inve
American heritage.
tbe tiiBiter, tins is ooty a minar oompiaiitt.
PAGE 12 •
THE BUFF AND BLUE
•
FEBRUARY u, 2000
Women's BasketbaH
Men's Basketball
Bison Hang Tough, But
Streak Continue s
Washington injury, foul trouble
hamper solid effort
By TONY ALBICOCCO
Buffand Blue Staff
(Ml)
taralMHa JnapK I H ^ Baria M B
laSLMon^
St. Maiy's Thiter
Ends On Sour Note
At this point, everything seemed to be going the
Defensive breakdowns, foul Bison's way.
However, Miller soon picked up her fourth
foul, and momentum moved irrevocably to St Mary's
trouble plague gutsy effort therein out The Bison interior defense—spotty all night
long—collapsed while Miller's teammates suddenly went
cold, showing signs of wearing out
The Seagulls — sparked main^ by freshman
Chanel Springs (17 points) — went on a 14­2 run in the
In one of the most competitive Capital Athletic final 2:45 to put it away and take sole possession of first
Conference games of the year, Gallaudet fell short of place.
The conference­leading scorer and rebounder,
earning what would have been their finest moment of
this up­and­dovra season Wednesday night in St Maiy's Miller, had a statistically stalwart evening, 33 points and
City, Mar>dand. The 86­75 defeat dropped the Bison, 12rebounds,but fell victim to one of the squad's most
now 7­4 (u­10 overall), into a three­way tie for second in troublesome enemies on the evening: foul trouble. She
the conference and left the destiny of regular­season fouled out in the game's waning moments and also
missed vital chunks of the action at the end of the open­
champions in the Seagulls' own hands.
The game was highlighted by a valirnt come­ ing half and throughout the second.
Johnson — who sparked a tantalizing come­
back on Gallaudet's part in the second half Alter coach
Kitty Baldridge and her staff left the team, down 16, back in second half with Miller on the bench — and
alone in their locker room, the Bison came out strong Nanette Virnig {2 points, 7 turnovers) also fouled out as
and exhibited obvious determination. After momentarily the Bison racked up 25 fouls in a physical, hard­fought
losing momentum due to Ronda Jo MOler's foul trouble, matdi with the revenge­minded Seagulls. Gallaudet beat
Ronda Johnson (13 points) slowly, almost single­hand­ St Maiy's last month at the Field House, die Seagull's
edly, began cutting the lead with about 12 minutes to go. first lost of the season.
York College, Maiy Washington College and
Then, with 8:04remainingand the score 63­58 GaUaudet must now battle for the second seed while hop­
in St Mary'sfevor.Miller returned wift three fouls. After ing that St Mary's opens die door again on first place.
a huge, off­balance three­pointer 1^ Natalie Ludwig However, die difierence between the two and three/four
(career­high 10 points) stunned the partisan Seagull seeds is tremendous, considering diat being number two
crowd and brought Gallaudet wiAin one. Miller convert­ guarantees two home games in the conference tourna­
ed a tremendous three­point play at 6:00,tyingthe game ment, v^ile diree and four get just one.
at 65­an.
By ALEXANDER J. LONG
Buff and Blue Stqjf
Gallaudet poured their beating hearts out in what was a
very respectable 88­65 loss to a strong Marymount University team,
who are currentiy in third place in the CAC with a 7­3 record. The
Bison stayed winless in conference play, losing for the loth time and
falling to 3­17 overall.
Despite losing forward Marcus Washington to an ankle
injury, they showed plenty of heart and fire. The Bison were on their
game in the eariy stages in thefirsthalf when they had a three­point
lead at the ten minute mark of the first half. They would eventually
fall behind by seven, 46­39 at the half.
In the second half, the Bison tried eveiything to stay in the
game, but their shots would not fall, missing 20 out of 27 shots after
shooting 51% in the second half
Coach Jimmy DeStefano said, "TVe played well in the first
half but in the second half our shots wouldn't go iu while they made
shots. But again, it was their height that made the difference. We
couldn't hold them. I was pleased with how they played overall and
how we came out"
DeStefano continues to rave about freshman guard
Jeremias Valencia, who led the Bison with 24 points, 3 assists and 3
steals. Forward Henry Dorsqr had 10 but was in foul trouble, as was
center Ben DeMario, who had just 7 points. Both eventually fouled
out
Guard Mike Smith had a nice game off the bench vnth 9
points. Said guard Jaimie Valencia," We are improving by different
situations in eadi game."
Washington suffered the injuiy eariy in the second half
when he awkwardly landed on another {Oyer's foot His status for
theremainderof the season is unknown.
"We were there, sometimes we had the lead and it would
be back and forth then a few minutes later in the second half I was
out," said Washington. "I saw some good positives on our defense.
We got a littie lazy at times but I know we never gave up and we wont
until the season is over."
On whether his season is over, he said," I hope to play on
Senior Night"
Senior Night — which honors die final regular­season
home game played in their careers — is February 16, against York at
8 p.m. where seniors Washington, DeMario and center Chad
Maigason play theirfinalhome game at the Field House.
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