the latest edition of the Mosquito

The Mosquito
Ed. 4
August 3rd 2016
An Interview With Table
By Max Mandel
What Are You Excited For?
It’s already second session here at
Camp Manitou, so here at The
Mosquito, we asked some cabins
what they are excited for! Here is
what G20, G24 and G23 had to
say!
Today I decided to interview a table at
Newspaper. Why? Because I can.
Q: Are you a table?
A: No. I’m a squirrel in disguise.
Q: Boxers or briefs?
A: Things like that do not concern a
humble table like myself.
-Midnight Madness
-To win Hippo Golf
-World Games
-Camp food
-Halloween
-Gotcha
-Rock ‘n’ Roll
-Hanging out with the cabin
-Making people laugh
-Canoe Trips
-Trying new things
-Waterski
-Video
-Photo contest
-Pizza lunch
-Thursdays
-Beach Day
-Baking with Shelley
-Dance Show
-Meeting people from different
countries
Q: If a train is travelling through the
clouds at 50, 000 ½ miles per hour and
Jack Black is eating a cucumber on the
set of Alvin and the Chipmunks 7, how
long is Jimmy’s hair?
A: What
Q: What is the meaning of life?
A: This is not what I signed up for.
My Future Job
By Roni Vicus
If I had to pick my job, it would take
very long.
I might want to be a doctor, or a
person who writes songs.
If I could live somewhere, it would be
in a flying shoe.
My question is, if you had the option,
what would you do?
And so much more! Have a great
second session everyone!
1
What Activity Should You Do?
FILM SECTION
Movie Reviews
By Henry Freedlander
Do you like
sports?
Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squeakuel
Yes
No
Do you
like being
active?
Do you
like being
active?
Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squeakuel is
a cinematic masterpiece, directed by Seth
Davis and produced by Alec Amato, who
both worked on The Godfather and Johnny
Test. AAtC2 uses advanced animation to
make the curtain between animation and
reality invisible. If you get a movie night,
check out this absolutely flawless movie.
Titanic
Yes
Yes
No
Soccer
Soccer
No
Soccer
Soccer
Titanic: awful. This film does neverything
wrong. Lighting: awful. Acting: disgusting.
Scenes: terrible. Leonard DiCaprio: a
blubbering mess. Jennifer Lawrence was
even worse. Stuttering and forcing her
lines out. Movies was awful. A disgrace to
cinema.
Batman v Superman
What’s Your Favourite Part About Camp Manitou?
By Bandana
Julie: All the campers having fun!
Sam: World Games
Sabrina: The awesome activities!!
Batman v Superman is a beautiful film.
Perfect and flawless. It capitalizes on
everything. It was the perfect length and
had a perfect balance of comedy and
action. Flawless. Watch this film! Better
than The Avengers.
Norm of the North
Lisa: The activities and my bed is pretty comfortable.
Norm of the North is a beautiful , heartwrenching, dramatic masterpiece. Every
scene a tear dripped down my cheek. It
teaches us the importance of saving the
environment. Perfect. Flawless. Beautiful.
Sophie: The people and World Games.
Shiraz: The food!
2
Camp Election: Who Will Win?
By Gabi Shawn
ADVERTISEMENT
Adam Satok is amazing
The election isn’t over yet! The race is just
heating up and it’s getting intense. The
front 5 runners, in order, are:
This advertisement was paid for by B20
1) Logan LaFave
Random Questions
By Anonymous
2) Log
Do you hate Mac and Cheese?
3) The Feta Cheese From the Salad Bar
Have you ever pet a rhinoceros?
4) The Office Sunscreen Bottle
Is your favourite colour neon beige?
5) All the green Kool Aid JammersTM
Do you say “zee” instead of “zed?”
I personally want the Feta Cheese From the
Salad Bar. FETA CHEESE FOR THE WIN!
Is your first instinct to fold paper the “hot dog
way” instead of the “hamburger way?”
Have you ever eaten an orange peel?
Do you like Tribal Games more than World
Games?
What Unit Are You In?
By Captain Obvious
Are you a
Freshkid?
If you answered yes to any of the above
questions, please see Julie Foster immediately.
The first step is admitting you have a problem.
You will get through this.
No
Yes
Sail
By Jonah Kaplun
A sail can’t eat kale.
A sail can FAIL in the mail.
You can inhale a snail.
A sail can break a jail with a piece of mail.
A sail can carry 10000 pails.
A sail can drive on a rail.
A sail can eat a sail.
A sail has a tail that goes in a pail, inside a
piece of mail, that you inhale then it goes to
jail.
A wail can eat a sail.
That is my poem about sail.
Are you a
Soph, JR, SR,
or CIT?
You are a
Freshkid!
Yes
You are a
Soph, JR, SR,
or CIT
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Question of the Day
VOTE FOR STEVE!
Here at The Mosquito we ask the tough questions,
and so every day we ask every period a Question of
the Day. This week we asked some thinkers! Below
are some of the week’s questions and answers.
The camp election is still going, and one
of our reporters gathered signatures to
vote Steve Richards for Camp President.
He got 33 signatures! That’s a lot of
support!
Friday July 15th
Q: Would you rather be a candle or a flashlight?
A: Flashlight---18, Candle---11
Interview with Brian Ebata
By Zephyr Hyman
Saturday July 16th
Q: Create a new ice cream flavour.
A: Bacon and Eggs, Pinecone, Dog Poo, Sushi, Wet
Grass, Dill Pickle, Jellyfish, Spicy Chocolate, Stir Fry,
Julie’s Hat, Woodchip, Skittles®
Q: How long have you been at camp?
A: 10 years.
Q: Did you get your blanket yet?
A: Yes, I did.
Sunday July 17th
Q: What is your favourite underwater creature?
A: Male seahorse, Dolphin, Narwhal, Blowfish,
Beluga Whale, Manatee, Sand, The Loch Ness
Monster, Sebastian, Shrimp
Q: Why did you sign up on ropes?
A: Because I get to meet lots of new campers
and I like campers.
Q: Is being on ropes difficult?
A: Yes, and sometimes no. Yes, because
sometimes big seniors are heavy to lift.
Tuesday July 19th
Q: There’s a new number between 9 and 10, what is
it called?
A: Platform 9 ¾, Kabooble, Nauxrmph, Nineten,
Spiarmf, Stoopy, Nint, Nit, Neet
Q: Am I heavy?
A: Are you kidding, you’re light as a feather.
Another Brian Interview!
By Ella Eisenstat
Friday July 29th
Q: If you could go anywhere in the world, where
would you go?
A: On an elephant in Shanghai, Iceland, Norm of the
North’s house, Into the wood, Japan, Nowhere,
Mushroom Kingdom at the time of America’s first
Civil War, Hogwarts, Mars, old G16, a bowl of cereal
Q: How was first session at Manitou?
A: First session was sooooo good. It was full
of great campers and great moments. Yeah
G-L-U-T-E-N!
Q: What’s your favourite activity?
A: ROPES! (I’ve also wanted to try sail,
though.)
Saturday July 30th
Q: You acquire a pet pig, what do you name it?
A: Waddles, Sir Francis Bacon, Ham Waterston, BLT,
Gaston, Jon Hamm, Kevin Bacon, Mr. Pig, Pork-que?,
Jessica Squeal, Commander Oinkers, Ms. Piggy, Le
Petit Cochons, David Hassletroff, Rumproaststiltzkin,
The Notorious P.I.G., Babebraham Lincoln, Spamela
Anderson, Pig Momma’s House, Tilda Swineton,
Hogwarts, Peter Porker, Miley Styrus, Cochon
Connery, Pork Floyd, Nicklebabyback, Back bacon to
the Future, Pork and Mindy, Natalie Porkman, MC
Hammer, Ludpig Van Beethoven
Q: What’s your favourite meal?
A: Hmmmm. It depends on what I’m in the
mood for. Right now, I’m feeling steak.
Q: What team were you on for Tribal
Games?
A: Team captain for GLUTEN with Emma
Friedman! What-what!!!!
Q: Can you understand the loud speaker?
A: What? No.
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5
Weird Play On Words
By Erin Herzstein
Poem #4
By Emma Kimya
If nothing goes right, go left. If nothing is
left, buy more. If nothing’s on sale, go by
canoe. If nothing canoe, find something
that WILL do. If Will doesn’t do anything,
make him at least do one thing. If he
hasn’t won anything, then Will can try to
get second place. If he can’t place second
place, he can place words on a page and
go read. If he doesn’t read, he can go
write. If nothing goes write, go left.
We cannot win,
Unless we lose.
We cannot laugh,
Unless we cry.
We cannot speak,
Unless we listen.
We cannot fly,
Unless we fall.
Without good,
There is no evil.
Without evil,
There is no good.
Juice In The Water Fountain
By Sam Kaplun and Alyssa Mintzberg
A Letter to Jason Schacter
(from his aunt who lives in Boston)
Reporters Sam and Alyssa went to find
out how many campers and staff
would like juice in the water
fountains.
They received a total of 60 signatures!
Get ready for fresh Kool Aid ™ pouring
out of your nearest fountain!
Hi JJ! How’s camp going? How are your
cabin mates? Are you making a lot of
friends? Your uncle and I just wanna check
in on our little blue jay. We just got back
from Italy yesterday, so hopefully our
postcards reach you before you leave. The
food was delicious—authentic Italian pizza!
We took a day trip to Sicily, and it was
beautiful. We hope you can reply soon.
We’re planning to visit for Rosh Hashana, so
save some hugs for your auntie!
KD or Wacky Mac?
By Roni Vicus
KD: 32
Wacky Mac: 25
Love,
“Who’s Mac?”
“I’m furious…Wacky Mac is way better!”
“What’s quacky mac?”
Aunt Debbi
Did You Know?
-The author of “The Tortoise and the Hare” had an unsuccessful follow-up
novella titled “The Tortoise and the Heir”
-There are 700 people named Sam in camp
-Cucumbers are 90% water, 3% corn, and 7% magic
-I once had a dream that I was swept up in a tornado from my house in Kansas, and travelled to a magical land, and you
were there, and you were there, and---oh wait, I’m watching The Wizard of Oz
-Mississippi is the number one exporter of sandwiches and Sand Witches
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Mad Libs!
By Emily Stotland and Tyra Morton
Poll!
Best Summer Ever So Far: 391
Hi, my name is ___________, but you can call me
(ROYAL NAME)
Best Best Summer Ever So Far: 432
Manny, Manny the Moose that is. I was born in
I Just Can’t Stop Loving Camp!
By Mitchell Allen
______, but my parents had to move to Canada
(PLACE)
Ahoy! It’s me, Cap’n Mitchell! Just
kidding! It’s just plain ol’ Mitchell
Allen here! But I got really into the
camp Halloween! I dressed as an
awesome pirate and got my good
friend Rachel Wentling to help me
with the costume! You may say we
had all hands on deck! Second
session just started and I’m already
making a bunch of new friends! I
also shook up my whole schedule
and now I’m taking Pottery,
Greenhouse, Video, Horseback
Riding, Baseball, Basketball,
Hockey, Wakeboard, Fitness, and
Yoga Sports! Anywho…the camp
bell is a-callin’ me and it’s time for
me to head to Greenhouse!
Shoutout to tomatoes and Seb!
See ya next week for the last
edition!
after they stole a _____________ from ________
(ADJECTIVE NOUN)
(NOUN)
and were wanted by the FBI. I have _________
(NUMBER)
___________ siblings, and together we make up
(ADJECTIVE)
the worlds _____________ synchronized
swimming
(SUPERLATIVE)
team. In my free time, I like _____ and _______.
(VERB)
(VERB)
When I’m hungry, I eat lots of _______.
Sometimes
(NOUNS)
Freshkids are scared of me because I have
___________ ____________. In reality, there’s
no
(ADJECTIVE) (BODY PART)
Interview with Miranda Wiseman
Q: How long have you been at camp?
A: 10 years.
reason to be afraid, as I am an __________
moose
(ADJECTIVE)
Q: Blanket?
A: I’m getting it this year!
living in an _________ world, having the best
(ADJECTIVE)
Q: How long have you been staff on
guitar?
A: First year.
summer ever at Camp Manitou!
Q: How long have you been playing
guitar?
A: 7 years!
7
What Food Best Represents You?
By Lisa Fireman
ADVERTISEMENT
COME ONE, COME ALL TO
Luigi’s
island!
Do you like
food?
A place to make lifelong memories
with your cabin!
Yes
No
Do you
like
dessert?
What Will The World Games Teams
Be?
No
Do you at
least like
dessert?
Yes
Yes
No
We asked all the Newspaper campers
what they think the 2016 World
Games teams will be, and here is the
list they came up with!
-Qatar
-Panama
-Brazil
-Catan
-New Zealand
-U.S.A.
-Canada
-Morocco
-Middle Earth
-Finland
-Wales
-Denmark
-Bahamas
-Greece
-China
-Spain
-Egypt
-Vatican City
-Bermuda
-Luigi’s Island
You are
olives, there
is nothing
dessert-like
about you.
8
You are a
cookie…you
are a wellrounded
foodie.
You are a
sweettooth…candy
best
represents
you.
You are a
plain
piece of
bread!
Explore
more!
Hand Sanitizer
By Jon Wolfson
An Interview with Chase Wexler
By Edoardo Miccio and Sammy Fleisher
Q: How many years have you been at camp?
A: 14 years. 10 as a camper.
One small step for man. One big
step for mankind. One giant leap
for handkind. Please use hand
sanitizer.
Q: Are you a pro golfer?
A: Yes, I’m a professional.
Q: What are your favourite activities at camp?
A: Golf, tennis and hockey.
Q: Did you see the hockey player (Owen Tippitt)?
A: No I just missed him. 
Q: What sports do you follow?
A: Golf and tennis.
Q: What were you thinking when you were
beating Jose?
A: How I am going to shave Jose’s head.
Q: What cabin were you in when you were a
junior camper?
A: B19, B17
Q: Have you ever been on a canoe trip?
A: Yes…10!
Q: Have you ever been to Italy to golf?
A: No, but I would like to.
My First Year At Camp To My Third
Year, And How I Improved
By Dylan Gotlieb
A VOTE FOR LOG IS A VOTE FOR A SOLID
LEADER
It’s Log, it’s Log.
It’s big, it’s heavy, it’s wood.
It’s Log, it’s Log.
It’s better than bad, it’s good.
When I first came to camp, I was very
shy, quiet, and complain-y. Now I am in
my third year at camp, and I have won
a candle and the 2016 1st session
Newspaper award. And that’s the story
of how I’ve improved over the course
of three years at Camp Manitou.
“Is this still going? Just vote log already.”
-Jerry Seinfeld
9
Trees
By Jonah Kaplun
ADVERTISEMENT
Trees attract bees and make honey with a
funny bunny that’s name is Sunny. Trees
can free you and me. He makes me see
trees. Trees don’t use keys. When you
think of trees, don’t think of me. When
you see a tree, go down on one knee.
When you see a tree, drink some tea.
Are you a big fan of The Mosquito
and you just can’t wait til
Wednesday lunch to read the
newest edition?
Well have we got the thing for you!
Sign up for a subscription to The
Mosquito and receive a copy before
breakfast right on your cabin’s
doorstep!
When you cut down a tree, the tree will
walk away and scream “I want ice cream!”
If the tree doesn’t get ice cream, you will
see steam! If the tree does get ice cream,
the tree will say
TEAM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
If the tree does not say TEAM!, then it
does not like you and that is not good.
To receive a subscription, find Julie
Foster. Note: Rain, snow, or hail may
affect delivery service.
That is my poem about trees.
The Muddy Lamb Mystery
By Hayley Kupinsky
Questions…Clues…Discovery. Who is the
Muddy Lamb? Over a course of two days
(during first session), the citizens of
Newspaper went through a difficult escape
room in the hopes of stopping the Muddy
Lamb from stealing all of our news and all of
our paper. But who is the Muddy Lamb?
Jackson Dog! Congratulations to the Day 2,
Period 3 campers who escaped the escape
room in the fastest time---15 minutes! Great
job Newspaper for solving Cluespaper and the
Muddy Lamb mystery!
What Is Your Favourite Cheese?
By Benny Barish
Julie Foster: Brie
Lexi Grossman: Swiss
Erin Herzstein: Mozzarella
Shiraz Meisels: Mozzarella
Camila Jaramillo: Cheddar
Watermelon
By Ava Gandy
Natallia Castillo: Cheddar
Dylan Gotlieb: American Cheddar
One day I ate a watermelon. I loved it so
much, I ate more and more. On my
birthday, I had a watermelon cake. One day
I got a pet watermelon. All in all, I love
watermelon and everything to do with
watermelons!
Alex DeBono: Blue Cheese
Irina Filatova: Haloumi
10
Dreams
By Sea Ray
What Should You Get For Your 20th Year At
Camp?
Have you ever had a dream that made you
so happy that when you woke up you were
sad it wasn’t real? That means you’re a
vivid thinker, and a very creative person.
You take something you may not have and
picture yourself with it while asleep. You’re
a smart one. Sleep on!
At Camp Manitou we honour campers staff with
special gifts if they have been here for 5, 10, or
15 years. But not many people have reached the
20 year milestone yet. Here at The Mosquito, we
brainstormed a list of what that honour could
be!
-Rubber gloves
-Corn on the cob
-Contouring make-up
-The box from the end of Se7en
-A broken lamp
-Double tuck
-Jackson
-Tubing with Mark
-A 64 pack of Crayola™ crayons
-The Hangar
-Maintaining the Greenhouse
-Shovel and overalls
-A really good smoothie
-Coffee table
-A Lifetime Salad Bar Fast Pass®
-A constant stream of smoked salmon
-Q-Tips™
-One Manitou Chair named after you
-A Fortino’s™ gift card
-A reservation for one to Panera Bread®
-2 thumbs up from Mitchell Allen
-A bottle of grape juice
-Getting your braces off
-A cucumber
-One half-used bottle of honey
-A private concert with Duran Duran
-Yair Levin
-A scratched special edition Blu-Ray™ of The
Little Mermaid
-1000 hand made beef fajitas
-A 2nd parka
-2 Ten Year Blankets, or 4 Five Year Backpacks
-Immortality
-The soundtrack to Shark Tale on vinyl
-20 minutes with N*Sync at Appleby’s®
-A wedding proposal from Ben Kim at Pizza Hut®
Why Is Dogs Not An Activity?
By Max Mandel
Hello fellow human organisms. It’s Max
Mandel here, back at it again with
another article. Usually the stuff I write
about is really stupid, but today I’m
addressing a very serious issue at Camp
Manitou. Dogs. They’re fluffy, they love
you, they eat anything they can fit in their
mouth. BUT….Dogs isn’t an activity at
Manitou. This is absolute blasphemy.
Manitou’s dogs are adorable and the
campers need as much time with them as
possible. That’s why I think dogs should
be added to the already awesome list of
activities at Manitou.
Editor’s Note: Max collected an impressive
list of staff and camper signatures,
totaling up to 42 people who would like
Dogs as an activity. Jaime Gorlick would
like it to be known that he would be the
activity head of Dogs.
Storytelling
By Ethan Gat
I am going to tell you a story. I’m not
good at telling stories though. Hey! That
reminds me about how bad I am at
playing Pac Man. Video games. Ahhh
yes…. The great collection of---oh look a
squirrel.
(I warned you!)
11
Horoscopes
Max Gross has looked into the depths of his mind and seen the future!
Aries (March 21-April 20)
Whistle while you work. Doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo.
Taurus (April 21-May 20)
You will eat your food.
Gemini (May 21-June 21)
You are a Gemini!
Cancer (June 22-July 22)
Five hundred, twenty-five thousand, six hundred minutes.
Leo (July 23-August 23)
And a partridge in a pear tree!
Virgo (August 24-September 23)
Boots and cats and boots and cats and boots and cats.
Libra (September 24-October 23)
Je ne pas hablo l’Espanol, si’l vous plait?
Scorpio (October 24-November 22)
Oh, who lives in a pineapple in the sea?
Sagittarius (November 23-December 21)
Days Without Accident: 0
Capricorn (December 22-January 20)
Chicken fingers!
Aquarius (January 21-February 18)
Play Hippo Golf.
Pisces (February 19-March 20)
Was your card…the Jack of Clubs?
12
Just Askin’ Questions ‘Bout Second Session
With Joey Overland
A Random Poll
By Ryan Jacoby and Lexi Grossman
Q: What is Midnight Madness about?
Ashley Katz: Just playing fun games in the
Dining Hall, good food, and the themes are
really funny!
Reporters Lexi and Ryan went to
investigate if the people of Camp
Manitou prefer camp or school. Here
are the not so surprising results.
Q: What is Halloween like at Manitou?
Victoria: It’s awesome…fantastic!
Camp or School?
Camp: 15
School: 1
Q: What is World Games like?
Lexi Grossman: Really intense!
*Jason S: I pick vacation. Make an
exception for me.
Song Experiment
By Jon Wolfson
Sing this song in the most annoying voice you
know:
“It’s the second star 2 the right.”
An Interview with Purell the Broom
By Ruby Plume
Sing that 5x fast. Now sing that 10x fast,
backwards.
Q: So Purell, how do you like
Newspaper?
A: Well, I um hmmm….let’s see, it’s…
Now, sing it with your mouth stretched
backwards.
Q: OK NEXT QUESTION! How’s camp
treating you?
Author’s Note: Please don’t sue me for using
Peter Pan.
Purell: I-it’s fabulous. It reeeeeeally is. I
meanQ: ALRIGHT. So, how do you like your
hair?
A: Well, it was nice and shiny and clean
in the package, but then the floor got
dirty and that was the end of that.
Poll!
What’s Better?
Marvel or DC?
By Leah Weiss
Marvel: 12
Q: I know how ya feel bro….same here.
And my last question for you…what is
your favourite holiday?
A: HAPPY ROOKIE DAY, HERCULES!
DC: 7
13
COMICS, DRAWINGS, AND GAMES!
14
Nutritional Facts of Paper
(per page)
Calories:
Fats:
Saturated:
Trans:
Omega 3:
Carbs:
Potassium:
Sodium:
Iron:
Sugar:
Vitamin A:
Calcium:
0
3g
1g
0.1g
1.9
8g
0
290mg
0
5g
230% of daily diet
20% of daily diet
WARNING: May
contain traces of
peanuts and shellfish
Ingredients: Tree
Manufactured by
Heinz® 1957.
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