Come to Northeast Michigan and enjoy

Transcription

Come to Northeast Michigan and Enjoy...
FREE!
The Good Life
Vol. 3, Issue 3 • MARCH 2009
Published by The Good Life Press
Editor: I. M. Free
LINCOLN TRUCK CO.
“Brand Spankin’ Used”
100 Main St, Lincoln 48742
(989) 736-7600
Also Available:
05’ GMC Canyon, Crew Cab, Off Road
Package, 4WD, Red, $10,476
06’ Jeep Grand Cherokee Limited, two-tone
heated leather, sunroof, Hemi, $13,976
Two Irishmen, Patrick & Michael, were adrift
in a lifeboat following a dramatic escape
from a burning freighter. While rummaging
through the boat’s provisions, Patrick found
an old lamp. Hoping that a genie would
appear, he rubbed the lamp vigorously To
the amazement of Patrick, a genie came
forth. This particular genie, however, stated
that he could only deliver one wish. Patrick
blurted out, “Make the entire ocean into
beer!” The genie clapped his hands and the
entire sea turned into the finest brew ever
sampled by mortals. The genie vanished.
Michael looked disgustedly at
Patrick whose wish had been
granted. After a long, tensionfilled moment, he spoke.
“Nice going Patrick! Now we’re
going to have to pee in the
boat!”
05’ Chevy Trailblazer, LT, 4WD, heated Leather, Rear
Entertainment Center, 58k, $12,976
Now we know what the
pot at the end of the
rainbow looks like...
Hours:
Wed/Thur 8am-7:30pm
Fri/Sat 8am-8pm
Sunday 8am-3pm
Closed Mon & Tues
TEACHER: Maria, go to the
map and find North America.
MARIA: Here it is.
TEACHER: Correct. Now
class, who discovered
America?
CLASS: Maria.
“Homemade at Its Finest”
Served 4:00-8:00pm
WEDNESDAY
All-You-Can Eat Spaghetti $8.99
THURSDAY
All-You-Can-Eat Old Fashioned Chicken
Tender Dinner w/ Mashed Red-skinned Potatoes,
Gravy and a Vegetable $8.99
Wed/Thur AYCE includes hot bread, soup and salad
FRIDAY
All-You-Can-Eat Cod $8.99
or Fresh Lake Perch (not AYCE) $11.99
SATURDAY
All-You-Can-Eat Grilled Rib-Eye $9.99
Fri/Sat AYCE includes hot bread, soup, choice of
potato, vegetable and AYCE Salad Bar
Coupons not valid on All-You-Can-Eat specials
Every Wednesday is Italian Night
In addition to the Spaghetti
Dinner, Liv picks from other
Italian dishes to offer, such as
Lasagna, Parma Rosa, Baked
Rigatoni, Ravioli or Meatballs
Introducing Our
Family Recipe
Northern Style Pasties
from Calumet, Coming
April 3-5, and the 1st
Weekend of Each
Month Following
1770 Trask Lake Rd. • Barton City
(989) 736-6751
One day a little girl was sitting and
watching her mother do the dishes at the
kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her
mother had several strands of white hair
sticking out in contrast on her brunette
head.
She looked at her mother and inquisitively
asked, ‘Why are some of your hairs white,
Mom?’
Her mother replied, ‘Well, every time that
you do something wrong and make me cry
or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white.’
The little girl thought about this revelation
for a while and
then said, ‘Momma,
how come ALL of
grandma’s hairs are
white?’
Andy’s Transmission Shop Inc
Where Quality is Affordable
Your Complete Drive Line Service Center
Transmissions • Transfer Case • Differential
Axles • U-Joints • and More
Owners
Andy
Carpenter
& Jeff
Piper
Phone 989-354-0787 • Fax 989-356-3845
Give us a Call!
WEDNESDAY THRU SATURDAY
ALL-YOU-CAN-EAT
DINNER SPECIALS
05’ Dodge, Reg Cab, Short Box, Hemi, 20” Wheels, 39k
miles, pwr seat, windows, locks, $14,976
06’ Jeep Grd. Cherokee Larado, 46K, Htd. Leather, Sunroof, White $14,576
04’ Jeep Grd Cherokee, Special Edition, Fern Grn, Leather, Nav, System, $9,976
04’ Jeep Grd Cherokee, Special Edition, Black, Htd. Leather, Moonroof
03’ GMC, Sierra 1500, Z-71, White, Bed Liner
03’ Chevy Blazer, LS, 4 door, 4 WD, 70K, $6,976
03’ Jeep Liberty, Sport Pkg., Blue, 4WD, Sharp! $7,976
01’ Dodge Dakota, SLT, Quad Cab, V-8, 4WD
01’ Jeep Wrangler, Sport, 6cyl, 4WD, 5-spd, Air, Southern Owned!
***Many more to choose from, call for more info!!
5540 US 23 North, Alpena, MI 49707
Mon - Thurs 8:00 - 5:00 / Fri 8:00 - Noon
And Now Open:
At Saint Mary’s Catholic
Church, they have
a weekly husband’s
marriage seminar. At
the session last week,
the Priest asked Mario,
who was approaching
his 50th wedding
anniversary, to take a
few minutes and share
some insight into how
he had managed to stay
married to the same
woman all these years.
Andy’s Service Center
Complete Auto Repair
mA/C
mEngines
mStruts
mShocks
& More
mBrakes
Saturdays By Appointment Only
Mario replied to the
assembled husbands,
‘Well, I’ve tried to
treat her nice, spend
da money on her, but
bestof all is that I
took her to Italy for
the 25th anniversary!’
The Priest responded,
‘Mario, you are an
amazing inspiration to
all the husbands here!
Please tell us what you
are planning for your
wife for your 50th
anniversary??’
Mario proudly replied,
‘I’m gonna go get her.’
“We were so proud of Timmy for being such a good sport even
though he came in 4th...”
n
The Good Life - march 2009
To Everyone Who Supports the
Troops, Thank You So Much!
“Your kind dedication and effort to send us care packages puts the
biggest smiles on our faces!!! It is because of people like you all that
us Airmen and Soldiers are able to continue on with our mission on a
daily basis. Words can not explain how much every bit is appreciated
and I look forward to coming home again. I would love to meet some
of you when I do come home also. I wish you all could see the look
on everyone’s faces when I opened the boxes up and told them to
grab whatever their little (or in some cases “big”) hearts desired!! :)
All of you that put your efforts and donations towards these boxes
are truly amazin people! Thank you so much for supportin all of us
over here. God Bless...
SrA Finnell, Amber H,
and the rest of her brothers and sisters of DET 3.”
This letter was received by Shoreline Troop Support in thanks for
the shoeboxes sent to our troops in the Middle East. The shoeboxes
are filled with the things we may take for granted, but are so very
appreciated by the brave men and women serving our country so
very far away from home.
The Shoreline Troop Support has about 30 members who meet
at the Alpena Community College on the former Wurthsmith Air
Base on the 3rd Friday of each month at 1pm. There they fill and
ship shoeboxes full of items that are donated by the public, area
churches, civic groups and local businesses. The group recently
received much needed donations from The Mikado Goodfellows and
the monthly Oscoda Food Giveaway.
You too can help make this continued effort possible by donating
time, products and funds for postage, through many local collection
sites. Look for the marked donation canisters in Oscoda at Hungry
Howie’s, Desi’s,Gilbert’s Pharmacy, The Villages of Oscoda and the
Oscoda Press; in Hale at Hale Drug and Londo Lake Store; and in
Greenbush at The Red Rooster Restaurant. To donate products, you
will find collection bins in Oscoda at the United Methodist Church, The
Villages of Oscoda, The American Legion, The Eagle Club, Knights
of Columbus and State Street Mall (next to Gilbert’s Pharmacy); and
in Hale at St Pius Catholic Church. If you would like to donate time
and talent, there are things the troops are especially grateful for, such
as hats, scarves and a special handcrafted pillowcase. Directions for
the pillowcase, a list of items needed and additional information
about being a part of Shoreline Troop Support are available by
emailing to [email protected] or contact Gretchen Madick at
(989) 739-0363.
thank your advertisers, they supply you with the good life!!!
COMMUNITY EVENTS
AMERICAN CANCER
SOCIETY’S RELAY FOR
LIFE ALCONA COUNTY
KICK-OFF PARTY
March 14th, 2009 at Alcona
County Senior Center (Located
at 207 South Church Street in
Lincoln, Michigan)
Kick-off reception 7:00 p.m.
to 8:00 p.m. (Registration at
6:30pm). 8:00 p.m. to 12:00
a.m. Refreshments, 80’s Dance
& Costume Contest.
For more information or
advanced reservations contact:
ACS Staff Member Tracy
Niedzwiecki at (866) 454-9984
Committee Volunteer Laura
Hutchison at (989) 736-8312
PR/Media Volunteer Terry
Lipscomb at (989) 335-0772
MICHIGAN REGIONAL
SPORTSMEN’S SHOW
March 20th - 22nd at Thunder
Bay Recreation Center - 701
Woodward Avenue, Alpena. For
more information please call:
Wayne at: (989) 354-8403.
THE ALPENA LEADS CLUB
meeting every Tuesday. For more
information, go to
www.alpenaleadsclub.com
Businesses in the Alpena area
promoting one another.
FISHING TOURNAMENT ON
BEAVER LAKE
March 7, starts at 6am.
Volunteers needed. For more
info, contact Ron Brady at 3797002 or 255-2914.
25th Anniversary Celebration
Alcona County Relay for Life
July 24th through July 25th, 2009
3:00p.m. - 3:00p.m.
at Alcona Community Schools Track,
51 North Barlow Road
Lincoln, Michigan 48742
If you would like more information how
you can become a Team Member,
Volunteer, Sponsor or Donate toward
this amazing event,
Contact: Alcona County Chair - Martha
at (989) 736-3546
Sweet Steps Captain - Laura Hutchison
at (989) 736-8312
PR / Media Volunteer - Terry Lipscomb
at (989) 335-0772
BARTON CITY EAGLES
AERIE 4141 BARBECUE
Every third Friday of the month.
Come for
Barbecue Ribs & Chicken
$8 All inclusive. A portion of
proceeds to benefit Alcona
scholarships & other local
charities. For more info, call (989)
736-3050
MDA Cue for a Cure 2009
You are invited to be a part
of the “12th Annual Cue for
a Cure” by participating in a
Pool Tournament to benefit the
Muscular Dystrophy Association
or just by coming out to join in
the fun! All proceeds will go to
support patients from our own
area who are affected by a
neuromuscular disease.
Sunday, March 1st:
Chiefs Bar & Grill in Alpena
Sunday, March 8th:
North Swamp in Lincoln
Saturday, March 14th:
Glennie Tavern
Sunday, March 15th:
Oscoda Eagles & Wagon Wheel
in Ossineke
Saturday, March 21st:
Dry Dock in Alpena
Saturday, March 28th:
Oasis Food & Spirits in Glennie
Sunday, March 29th:
Alpena Eagles
Playoffs: Saturday, April 4th at the
Glennie Tavern 11:00 AM where all
of the Winners, Runners Up, Top
Fund Raisers and Totals Raised will
be announced!
Submit Your Group’s Events to The Good Life Community
Calendar! See below for contact info...
For More Community Events, Visit Your Local Chambers of Commerce Online:
www.tawas.com • www.oscoda.com
www.alpenacvb.com • www.huronshoreschamber.com
A drunken man staggered into a Catholic church, sat down in the Confessional
and said nothing.
The priest is waiting and waiting and waiting.
The priest coughs to attract the drunk man’s attention, but still the man says
nothing.
The priest then knocks on the wall three times in a final attempt to get the man
to speak.
Finally the drunk replies, “No use knockin,’ pal. There’s no paper in here either.”
Mike lay on his deathbed
when his wife Brigid
came in to him and asked
if there was anything he
wanted.
Mike said “Brigid, what
is that delicious smell
coming from the
kitchen?”
And Brigid replied “Oh
Mike that is a ham I am
baking.”
Mike thought, and said
“Brigid, as my dying wish
I would love to have
some of that ham you’re
cooking.”
Then Brigid said “Oh
Mike, I’m saving that
for the wake.”
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Fill out the form above and enclose your check or money order for
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The Good Life Press, P.O. Box 92, Lincoln, MI 48742
Publisher and Editor-at-Large: Chris Rayburn
The Good Life Press
P.O. Box 92, Lincoln, MI 48742
989-335-4200 • Cell: 989-335-3642
www.thegoodlifepress.com • e-mail: [email protected]
Joke contributions are always welcome! Send jokes and other funny stuff
to the address above or email.
We also invite non-profit organizations to send event information for our
community calendar for dates in April and early May.
Support the Troop Shoebox
Program in your area!
All materials presented in The Good Life are for your entertainment only. Although we strive for accuracy, neither
The Good Life Press nor its advertisers or other associates offer any warranty as to the accuracy of any information
presented in The Good Life. Neither The Good Life Press nor its advertisers or other associates will assume any
liability for typographical mistakes, misprinted information, or other errors.
advertise your business in the good life! Call 989.335.4200
Outlawed Grafix
Sean “Outlawed”
McGraw
989-590-8187
TATTOO SHOP
Open 11-8 (?)
Closed
Sunday
Ron “Big Daddy”
Kendziorski
989-255-9434
Walk-in
or by
Appointment
819 W. Chisholm St. • Alpena
www.myspace.com/tatsbyoutlawedgrafix
New Construction • Garages
Additions • Roofing • Siding
Pole Barns • Decks • Cement Work
Went to the doctor for
my yearly physical.
The nurse starts with
certain basics.
How much do you
weigh?’ she asks. ‘135,’ I
say.
The nurse puts me on
the scale. It turns out
my weight is 180.
Let Your Return Get You More –
Reinvest in Your Greatest Investment
The nurse asks, ‘Your
height?’ ‘5 foot 6,’ I
say.
The nurse checks
and sees that I only
measure 5’2’.
Roofing • Siding
Drywall • Windows
Doors • Remodeling
General Construction
She then takes my blood
pressure and tells me it
is very high.
‘Of course it’s high!’ I
scream, ‘When I came
in here I was tall and
slender! Now I’m short
and fat!’
Located in Lutes Plaza - next to Dunkin’ Donuts and Print Master
989-305-1028
Licensed and Insured
The Power of the Badge
(989) 354-5593 • Cell (989) 464-8733
(A MAN’S PERSPECTIVE)
I know I’m not going to understand women.
I’ll never understand how you can take boiling hot wax,
pour it onto your legs, rip the hair out by the root,
and still be afraid of a spider.
www.heritagehouserealtyofoscoda.com
Lovely ranch home constructed in 2005. Home features include
natural gas, city water, vinyl siding, stone covered entrance, rear
patio plus an attached 2 1/2 car extended garage....nestled on
two nicely wooded lots in beautiful Lakewood Shores. Location
is excellent.... If you have been looking for that “special place”
you will want to view this lovely home. Call for complete details
and information on the amenities offered by Lakewood Shores.
$163,900 RMLS# 088-06-0028
A DEA officer stops at a ranch in Montana, and talks with
an old rancher. He tells the rancher, ‘I need to inspect
your ranch for illegally grown drugs.’
The old rancher says, ‘Okay, but do not go in that field
over there’ as he points out the location.
fill your schedules
before spring hits!
advertise your services
in the good life!
call 989-335-4200
or 989-335-3642
ENJOY BREATHTAKING SUNSET VIEWS on
BEAUTIFUL CEDAR LAKE! This lovely, wellmaintained, lakefront home offers amenities plus.
Features include hardwood and ceramic tile flooring,
open living area with n/g fireplace, family room
(overlooking the lake), large master suite, great
working kitchen with updated appliances, A/C, sprinkler
system, dock, nicely landscaped lot and much more.
Enjoy the amenities offered by Lakewood Shores. A
very impressive property. Call for complete details.
$279,900 RMLS# 088-08-0049
Enjoy living in beautiful Lakewood Shores with all of its
amenities at an affordable price. This 2 bedroom, 1 1/2 bath
ranch home offers a spacious living room with a wood-burning
fireplace, large utility room and enclosed rear porch. Set on a
lovely lot just a short walk to Lakewood Shores private beach
on Lake Huron and Cedar Lake, it would make a great year
round home or “up north” getaway. Call for more information
and a color brochure. $76,900 RMLS# 088-08-0026
3 bedroom townhouse located in the Villages of
Oscoda. $51,900 RMLS# 088-08-0034
66’FRONTAGE ON BEAUTIFUL VAN ETTAN LAKE! Three
bedroom ranch offering 1 3/4 baths, fireplace w/insert, open living
area, family room, 2 1/2 garage and more. Property offers a quite
setting. Additional vacant lot also available! If you have been looking
for an affordable, year-round “up north” cottage, take a look at this
property. You are sure to be impressed. Van Ettan Lake “all sports” 3 bedroom, 1¾ bath, 1 story with crawl space.
awaits you! One Year Home Warranty included! Call for complete Enclosed screen porch, 2½ car attached garage.
details and showing arrangements. $189,900 RMLS# 088-07-0054 $92,000 RMLS# 088-08-0030
TEACHER: John,
why are you
doing your math
multiplication on
the floor?
JOHN: You told me
to do it without
using tables.
– George Burns
Licensed & Insured
Free Estimates
When DIY
is Not the
Answer...
E-mail: [email protected]
BUILDERS,
CONTRACTORS,
interior FINISHERS:
“Actually, it only takes one drink to get me loaded. Trouble is,
I can’t remember if it’s the thirteenth or fourteenth.”
Mike Cushman, Owner
2579 B US-23 S. • Alpena
Guoan Contracting
She put me on Prozac.
SALE
SERV S
INST ICE
ALLA
TION
n
The DEA officer verbally explodes saying, ‘Mister, I have
the authority of the Federal Government with me.’
Reaching into his rear pants pocket, he removes his badge
and proudly displays it to the farmer. ‘See this badge?
This badge means I am allowed to go wherever I wish...
on any land. No questions asked or answers given. Have I
made myself clear? Do you understand?’
The old rancher nods politely, apologizes, and goes about
his chores.
A short time later, the old rancher hears loud screams
and sees the DEA officer running for his life chased close
behind by the rancher’s prize bull. With every step the
bull is gaining ground on the officer, and it seems likely
that he’ll get “horned” before he reaches safety. The
officer is clearly terrified.
The old rancher throws down his tools, runs to the fence
and yells at the top of his lungs.....
‘Your badge...Show him your badge !!!’
Vehicle Pride, Inc.
Cover Your Bed with America’s
Greatest Tonneau Cover
• Better Fuel Economy • No Snow in Box
• Secure/Cover Your Cargo
• Easy Access for All Seasons
10156 US-23 South, Box 94, Ossineke, MI 49766
(989) 471-5397 • 1 (800) 648-0472
RIVERSIDE AUTO REPAIR
COMPLETE AUTO REPAIR
MOTORCYCLE, ATV and
SNOWMOBILE PARTS & SERVICE
SPECIALIZING IN
HARLEY-DAVIDSON MOTORCYCLE
TIM / JIM
104 NORTH STATE ST. • OSCODA, MI • 989-739-0930
ALSO BUYING NEW, USED
& TAKEOFF PARTS
MOTORCYCLES - STREET BIKES
ALL MAKES AND MODELS
SPECIALIZING IN HARLEY-DAVIDSON
TIM • CELL 989-387-0102
[email protected]
n
thank your advertisers,
find us online
they supply
at www.thegoodlifepress.com
you with the good life!!!
Beauty Center
2% GALLON MILK
$2.99 EVERYDAY!!!
of East Tawas
Pam Dillingham - Certified Beauty Advisor/Owner
Now Carrying 100% All-Natural Soy Candles
Coming Soon: Check out our new Craft Section
207 Newman St. • East Tawas, MI 48730
(989) 984-0010 • (989) 728-5947 • www.avon.com/pdillingham
Open Tues-Sat 10-5 • Open Sun, Feb 8th for Perchville
20% OFF Any One Regular Price Item
Expires 3/31/09
She’s sitting at the table with her gourmet coffee.
Her son is on the cover of the Wheaties box.
Her daughter is on the cover of Business Week.
Her boyfriend is on the cover of Playgirl.
And her husband is on the back of the milk carton.
Now in Our 29th Year in Business!
Hasty Manufacturing, Inc.
Sherni’s Candies
Home of the Chocolate
Covered Potato Chip!
Sherni’s Candies Also Available at
Pockrandt’s, Oscoda
Brian’s Fruit Market, West Branch
Nester Creek, Prescott
Crossroads, Whittemore
Party Trays
Available
No Order Too Big
or Too Small
Chocolate-Covered
Raspberries
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Order and Ship Early
for Easter Delivery!
MADE HERE FRESH DAILY:
Real Chocolate
Milk-Dark-White
Butter Crunch • Fudge
Peanut Brittle • Roasted Nuts
Chocolate Covered Cashews
Old Fashioned Sea Foam
Maple Walnut Cremes
Chocolate-Covered Peanut
Butter Pretzels
Truffles and More...
OPEN 9 A.M. to 5 P.M.
CLOSED TUESDAYS
35 North M65, at M55
Whittemore, Michigan 48770
989-756-3691
Keith, Sherry, and Brad Hasty
A lecturer when
explaining stress
management to an
audience raised a
glass of water and
asked ‘How heavy
is this glass of
water?’
Answers called out
ranged from 20g to
500g.
The lecturer
replied, ‘The
absolute weight
doesn’t matter. It depends on how
long you try to hold it. If I hold it
for a minute, that’s not a problem.
If I hold it for an hour, I’ll have
an ache in my right arm. If I hold
it for a day, you’ll have to call an
ambulance. In each case, it’s the
same weight, but the longer I hold
it, the heavier it becomes.’
He continued, ‘And that’s the
way it is with stress management.
If we carry our burdens all the
time, eventually, as the burden
becomes increasingly heavy, we
won’t be able to carry on. As with
the glass of water, you have to
put it down for a while and rest
before holding it again. When
we’re refreshed, we can carry on
with the burden.’
‘So, before you return home
tonight, put the burden of work
down. Don’t carry it home.
You can pick it up tomorrow.
Whatever burdens you’re
carrying now, let them down for a
moment if you
can.’
So, my friend, put down anything
that may be a burden to you right
now. Don’t pick it up again until
after you’ve rested a while.
Free
one
Teleph ation
lt
Consu
Practicing since 1976
STRESSED OUT!!!!!
• You do not lose your home or personal property.
• The average bankruptcy filer’s credit score increases
approximately 100 points after one year, unlike debt
relief agencies that drive your credit score down.
• The “New” bankruptcy laws affect only about 5% of
northeast Michigan residents.
• Most debt counseling agencies are owned by credit
card companies.
• Filing Chapter 13 is the only GUARANTEED way to
stop foreclosure and get rid of other debts.
STOP
Foreclosure, garnishment, repos and discharge
credit cards, gambling debts, old income taxes.
Social Security Disability
No fees unless we win. We fight for your legal rights!
Handicapped accessible.
1-800-233-3547
www.carlsilverlaw.com
230 S. Third Avenue, Alpena, MI 49707
cardiologist’s diet:
If it tastes good,
spit it out.
• If your home is worth less than you owe on your first
mortgage, your second mortgage can be wiped out in
a Chapter 13.
– Robert Downey Junior
Bankruptcy Myths and Facts
“I don’t drink these days. I am allergic to alcohol
and narcotics. I break out in handcuffs.”
Law Office of Carl C. Silver
LIQUOR • LOTTO
COLD BEER • GROCERIES
SNACKS
PROPANE EXCHANGE
PAYDAY
ADVANCE
NOW AVAILABLE
4199 Werth Rd.
Alpena, MI 49707
989-354-4798
Locally Owned and Operated
A man sat at a metro station in Washington DC and started to
play the violin; it was a cold January morning. He played six Bach
pieces for about 45 minutes. During that time, since it was rush
hour, it was calculated that thousands of people went through the
station, most of them on their way to work.
Three minutes went by and a middle aged man noticed there
was musician playing. He slowed his pace and stopped for a few
seconds and then hurried up to meet his schedule.
A minute later, the violinist received his first dollar tip: a woman
threw the money in the till and without stopping continued to walk.
A few minutes later, someone leaned against the wall to listen to
him, but the man looked at his watch and started to walk again.
Clearly he was late for work.
The one who paid the most attention was a 3 year old boy. His
mother tugged him along, hurried, yet the kid stopped to look
at the violinist. Finally the mother pushed hard and the child
continued to walk, turning his head all the time This action was
repeated by several other children. All the parents, without
exception, forced them to move on.
In the 45 minutes the musician played, only 6 people stopped
and stayed for a while. About 20 gave him money but continued
to walk their normal pace. He collected $32. When he finished
playing and silence took over, no one noticed it. No one
applauded, nor was there any recognition.
No one knew this but the violinist was Joshua Bell, one of the best
musicians in the world. He played one of the most intricate pieces
ever written with a violin worth 3.5 million dollars.
Two days before his playing in the subway, Joshua Bell sold out at
a theater in Boston and the seats averaged $100.
Joshua Bell playing incognito in the metro station was organized
by the Washington Post as part of an social experiment about
perception, taste and priorities of people. The outlines were: in
a commonplace environment at an inappropriate hour: Do we
perceive beauty? Do we stop to appreciate it? Do we recognize
the talent in an unexpected context?
One of the possible conclusions from
this experience could be:
If we do not have a moment to
stop and listen to one of the best
musicians in the world playing the
best music ever written, how many
other things are we missing?
Sun Your Buns...Spring Break’s Comin!
OPEN
Many Tanning Packages Available
9-5:00
10 Visits for $30
Mon-Fri
1 Month Unlimited Tanning $40
30 Visits for $55 - 60 Days to Use
9-1 Sat
306 N. State St, Oscoda • 739-4730
ALL RISK INSURANCE
2213 US 23 S., ALPENA, MI 49707 • 989-358-8400
Stosh
06/11/85-03/15/08
Always in Our
Thoughts,
Our Love Forever
We Have Eight Great Companies to Quote – Give Us a Call
“Big or Small, We Insure Them All.”
TEACHER: Glenn, how do
you spell ‘crocodile?’
TEACHER: No, that’s not
correct.
1784 East US-23
(in Baldwin Center)
East Tawas, MI 48730
Whispers
“the GREAT STIMULUS sale”
25% Off Entire Inventory of Adult
Products All Month Long
111 River Street
(989) 358-2045 Alpena, Michigan
49707
Hours: Noon-6:30pm, Mon thru Sat.
KRIS MART
The One Stop Store
Get One Free 1-Item, 14” Medium
Value Pizza with 10 Proof of Purchase
Seals (from Kris Mart pizza boxes)
Hot
Deli
Foods
Boneless Chicken Breast $1.99 / lb.
Whole N.Y. Strip Loins $2.99 / lb.
Corned Beef Flats $2.99 / lb.
863 N. Barlow, Lincoln, MI
Ask for Full
Menu!
Phone (989) 736-8027
HOURS: Mon - Thurs, 6:30am - 10pm
Fri/Sat 6:30am - 11pm, Sun 8am - 10pm
(989) 362-7033
Last week, I took my children to
a restaurant.
My six-year-old son asked if he
could say grace.
As we bowed our heads he
said, “God is good, God is great.
Thank you for the food, and
I would even thank you more
if Mom gets us ice cream for
dessert. And Liberty and justice
for all! Amen!”
Along with the laughter from the
other customers nearby, I heard
a woman remark, “That’s what’s
wrong with this country. Kids
today don’t even know how to
pray. Asking God for ice cream!
Why, I never!”
Hearing this, my son burst into
tears and asked me, “Did I do it
wrong? Is God mad at me?”
DRUG
212 S. State St. Oscoda, MI 48750
Family Owned Since 1939
Quick, Professional Prescription Service
Dollar Store, Cold Beer & Wine,
Package Liquor, Lotto
website: www.gilbertsdrug.com
email: [email protected]
Mon-Fri 8:30-5:00
Sat 8:30-4:00
ph: (989) 739-7585
fax: (989) 739-5739
As I held him and assured him
that he had done a terrific job,
and God was certainly not mad
at him, an elderly gentleman
approached the table.
He winked at my son and
said, “I happen to know that
God thought that was a great
prayer.”
“Really?” my son asked.
Tax Professional
Income Tax
Service
10555 US‑23 South
Box 85
Ossineke, MI 49766
restoration services
fire • water • smoke
mold • mildew
Personal • Business
Corporate • Partnership
• Individually designed
bookkeeping systems
• Payroll and Accounting
(989) 471-5258
(989) 471-5116 FAX
1-888-756-0014
Joel Roy Marciniak
Owner
Then, in a theatrical whisper, he
added (indicating the woman
whose remark had started this
whole thing), “Too bad she
never asks God for ice cream.
A little ice cream is good for the
soul sometimes.”
Naturally, I bought my kids
ice cream at the end of the
meal. My son stared at his
for a moment, and then did
something I will remember the
rest of my life.
866-544-9800 Toll Free
989-356-9800 Phone
989-356-9801 Fax
Serving All of Northern Lower Michigan
“Cross my heart,” the man
replied.
24-Ho
ur
Emerg
ency
Servic
e
He picked up his sundae and,
without a word, walked over
and placed it in front of the
woman. With a big smile he
told her, “Here, this is for you.
Ice cream is good for the soul
sometimes; and my soul is good
already.”
MUDDY PAWS
Personalized
Care - Event
Where
Spring Pet Pet
Portrait
Every Saturday,
Dog is a Show
MarchDog
21stto Us.
217217
West
Chisholm
St. St.
• Alpena
West
Chisholm
• Alpena,
MI 49707
(Located
between
between
3rd
& 4th Street)
(989)
(989)356-2300
356-2300 (Located
3rd & 4th Street)
Hours:thru
Mon
thru Sat
8am-6pm,
Closed
Hours: Tuesday
Saturday
8 p.m.
- 6 p.m., Closed
SundaySun
& Monday
• Hubbard Lake Coffee
• McCall’s Candles - New Scents!
• Up-North Home Décor
• A Little Christmas Year ‘Round
Sunrise Surplus
GLENN: Maybe it is wrong,
but you asked me how I
spell it.
n
GROOMING & PET OUTFITTING
Professional Grooming
NOW
De-Shedding
Upscale Pet Products
OPEN!
Available
Large Deck, Bench Storage Boxes
Tarps - Tools - Hardware - Rope
Shepherd’s Hooks - General Merchandise
Paints - Stains - Sealers - Sandpaper
Gloves - Rabbit Cages - Pet Supplies & More
GLENN: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L’
From our Meat
Department
TEACHER: Clyde,
your composition on
‘My Dog’ is exactly
the same as your
brother’s. Did you
copy his?
CLYDE: No, sir. It’s
the same dog.
Visit us at our web site:
www.moosetalesgifts.com
email: [email protected]
989-724-7555
March Hours:
Open Tue through Fri 10-5
Closed Sat, Sun, Mon
108 N. State St • Box 98 • Harrisville, MI 48740
An older woman gets pulled over for speeding...
Older Woman: Is there a problem, Officer?
Officer: Ma’am, you were speeding.
Older Woman: Oh, I see.
Officer: Can I see your license please?
Older Woman: I’d give it to you but I don’t have one.
Officer: Don’t have one?
Older Woman: Lost it, 4 years ago for drunk driving.
Officer: I see...Can I see your vehicle registration papers please.
Older Woman: I can’t do that.
Officer: Why not?
Older Woman : I stole this car.
Officer: Stole it?
Older Woman: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner.
Officer: You what?
Older Woman: His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you
want to see
The Officer looks at the woman and slowly backs away to his car and
calls for back up. Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car. A senior
officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun.
Officer 2: Ma’am, could you step out of your vehicle please! The
woman steps out of her vehicle.
Older woman: Is there a problem sir?
Officer 2: One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and
murdered the owner.
Older Woman: Murdered the owner?
Officer 2: Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car, please.
The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk.
Officer 2: Is this your car, ma’am?
Older Woman: Yes, here is the registration papers.
The officer is quite stunned.
Officer 2: One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving
license.
The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch purse and
hands it to the officer.
The officer examines the license. He looks quite puzzled.
Officer 2: Thank you ma’am, one of my officers told me you didn’t have
a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked up
the owner.
Older Woman: Bet the liar told you I was speeding, too.
Answer on on page 20
n
Five Surgeons are discussing the types of people they like to
operate on.
The first surgeon says: I like to see accountants on my operating
table because when I open them up, everything inside is
numbered.
The second responds: ‘Yeah, but you should try electricians!
Everything inside them is color-coded.
The third surgeon says: ‘No, I really think librarians are the best;
Everything inside them is in alphabetical order.
find us online
they supply
HugE
SAViNgS
The fourth surgeon chimes in: ‘You know, I like construction
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parts left over.
great programming
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But the fifth surgeon shut them all up when he observed: ‘You’re
all wrong. Politicians are the easiest to operate on. There’s no
guts, no heart, no brains and no spine. Plus, the head and the
butt are interchangeable.’
99
mo
For 6 months
with commitment
United Flight Attendant announced, ‘People, people we’re not
picking out furniture here, find a seat and get in it!
-------American Gangster
Hannah Montana
National Treasure: Book of Secrets
Employee of the Month
On landing, the stewardess said, ‘Please be sure to take all of your
belongings. If you’re going to leave anything, please make sure it’s
something we’d like to have.’
plus many more
--------‘There may be 50 ways to leave your lover, but there are only 4
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Overheard on an American Airlines flight into Amarillo, Texas, on
a particularly windy and bumpy day: During the final approach,
the Captain was really having to fight it. After an extremely
hard landing, the Flight Attendant said, ‘Ladies and Gentlemen,
11904 U.S. 23 South • Ossineke
welcome to Amarillo. Please remain in your seats with your seat
www.4protronics.com
belts fastened while the Captain taxis what’s left of our airplane to
Programming offers: Require participation in Digital Home Advantage with 24-month commitment. After promotional periods, customer must downgrade or then-current prices will apply. 6-Month Programming Credit: Requires
the gate!’
subscription to qualifying programming. Customer receives a credit for each of the first 6 months. Credit amount will depend on programming package selected. 3-Month Premium: Customer receives a credit for each of the first 3 months.
Digital Home Advantage: Restrictions apply, including credit approval and monthly fees for receivers. Early cancellation fee applies. DISH Network retains ownership of equipment. Limit 4 tuners per account. HD programming requires HD
receiver and HD television (sold separately). Customer must subscribe to qualifying HD programming or a $5.00/mo. HD Enabling fee will apply. Lease upgrade fee will apply for select receivers based on model. Cinemax offer: Requires
------AutoPay with Paperless Billing. If AutoPay with Paperless Billing is removed, Cinemax will be removed.
Offer ends 7/31/09 and is available in the continental United States for new, first-time DISH Network residential customers. All prices, packages and programming subject to change without notice. Local and state sales taxes may apply. Where applicable,
‘Your seat cushions can be used for flotation; and, in the event
equipment rental fees and programming are taxed separately. All DISH Network programming, and any other services that are provided, are subject to the terms and conditions of the promotional agreement and Residential Customer Agreement, available
at www.dishnetwork.com or upon request. Local Channels packages by satellite are only available to customers who reside in the specified local Designated Market Area (DMA). Local channels may require an additional dish antenna from DISH Network,
of an emergency water landing, please paddle to shore and take
installed free of any charges with subscription to local channels at time of initial installation. Social Security Numbers are used to obtain credit scores and will not be released to third parties except for verification and collection purposes only or if required by
governmental authorities. All service marks and trademarks belong to their respective owners. HBO® and Cinemax® are service marks of Home Box Office, Inc. Starz and related channels and service marks are the property of Starz Entertainment, LLC.
National Treasure: Book of Secrets © Disney Enterprises, Inc. and Jerry Bruckheimer, Inc. All Rights Reserved.
them with home our compliments.’
SLICKS1647_A
-------‘As you exit the plane, make sure to gather all of your belongings.
A husband read an article to his wife about how many
Anything left behind will be distributed evenly among the flight
attendants. Please do not leave children or spouses....except for
words women use a day.
that gentleman over there.’
30,000 to a man’s 15,000.
------The wife said, “The reason has to be because we have
After a real crusher of a landing in Phoenix, the attendant came
on with, ‘Ladies and Gentlemen, please remain in your seats until
to repeat everything to men.”
A man and his wife were
Capt. Crash and the crew have brought the aircraft to a screeching
having an argument about The husband then turned to his wife and asked, “What?’
halt against the gate. And, once the tire smoke has cleared and the
who should brew the coffee
warning bells are silenced, we’ll open the door and you can pick
each morning.
your way through the wreckage to the terminal.’
--------The wife said, ‘You should
Part of a flight attendant’s arrival announcement: ‘We’d like to
do it because you get up
thank you folks for flying with us today. And, the next time you get
first, and then we don’t
525 N. 2nd Avenue, Alpena
the insane urge to go blasting through the skies in a pressurized
have to wait as long to get
(989) 354-2767
metal tube, we hope you’ll think of U.S. Airways.’
our coffee.
-------CLEAN DONATED ITEMS
Heard on a Southwest Airline flight - ‘Ladies and gentlemen, if you
The husband said, ‘You
wish to smoke, the smoking section on this airplane is on the wing
are in charge of cooking
ACCEPTED
and if you can light ‘em, you can smoke ‘em.’
around here and you
DROP OFF OR PICK-UP
------should do it, because that is
A plane was taking off from Kennedy Airport. After it reached a
your job, and I can just wait
Monday thru Friday 10 to 5, Saturday 10 to 2
comfortable cruising altitude, the captain made an announcement
for my coffee.’
over the intercom, ‘Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain
Wife replies, ‘No, you should
speaking. Welcome to Flight Number 293, nonstop from New
York to Los Angeles. The weather ahead is good and, therefore,
do it, and besides, it is in the
we should have a smooth and uneventful flight. Now sit back and
Bible that the man should
We A
relax... OH, MY GOD!’ Silence followed, and after a few minutes,
Clean ccept Dry
do the coffee.’
ing
the captain came back on the intercom and said, ‘Ladies and
Bay D for Tawas
ry Cle
Husband replies, ‘I can’t
Gentlemen, I am so sorry if I scared you earlier. While I was talking
aners
believe that, show me.’
to you, the flight attendant accidentally spilled a cup of hot coffee in
my lap. You should see the front
So she fetched the Bible,
of my pants!’
and opened the New
A passenger in Coach yelled,
Testament and showed
‘That’s nothing. You should see
him at the top of several
the back of mine!’
EasT/WEsT
EasT/WEsT
EasT/WEsT
(cnet.com review 2/19/08)
PROTRONICS • (989) 471-2552
®
SUNRISE THRIFT SHOP
Use Our Digital Photo Center for Your Pictures
A Full Line of Home Office Supplies
pages, that it indeed says,
‘HEBREWS.’
989-736-6895
989-736-8138
SLICKS1647 Happy Concept Size A
Randy McKinney
National Rifle Association
Certified Instructor
Pistol and Personal Protection
989-724-5599
Harrisville, MI 48740
Blue Moon Gallery
Many
Handcrafted
Originals
The East Tawas Experience
229 Newman St. • East Tawas
(989) 362-9069
~~~~~
Custom-
Unusual and Unique Gifts
Painted Wall
Art to Match
Incense • Gemstones • Rocks
Your Décor
Jewelry • Original Artwork
Tarot Cards & Supplies • Belly Dancing Attire
WILD BILL’S BAIT AND TACKLE
Northeast Michigan’s Largest
Premier Bait & Tackle Shop
Camping Supplies
South Bend Hand Warmers
*All Hunting & Fishing Licenses* Reg $5.99, NOW $2.00
ORV & Trail Permits
Frabill Ice Shanties and the
Waxworms • Crickets • Mealworms NEW Electric Jiffy Ice Auger
Live Minnows
are NOW IN
FASTRAK HOBBY SHOP
A Large Selection
of Dollhouse and
Furniture Kits
MARCH GIVEAWAY
$100 Thomas Wooden
Railway Play Set
Details Available in Store
Unique Jigsaw
Puzzles
(Over 400 in stock)
Paint by Number
Kits
3111 US 23 South Alpena • 989-356-3739
Open M-F 9am-5:30pm • Sat 9am-5pm
Ralph and Edna were both patients in a mental hospital. One day while they were walking
past the hospital swimming pool. Ralph suddenly jumped into the deep end. He sank to the
bottom of the pool and stayed there.
When the Head Nurse Director became aware of Edna’s heroic act she immediately ordered
her to be discharged from the hospital, as she now considered her to be mentally stable.
All Our Live Bait is
Guaranteed to Catch
Fish or Die Trying
Overstock Clearance on the
Things You Use Every Day!
take
a kid fishing
WINTER HOURS
OPEN 7 DAYS 7am-5pm
Visit us at www.wbbnt.com
3 Miles East of Hillman on M‑32
(989) 742-4874
When she went to tell Edna the news she said, ‘Edna, I have good news and bad news. The
good news is you’re being discharged, since you were able to rationally
respond to a crisis by jumping in and saving the life of the person you love. I
have concluded that your act displays sound mindedness. The bad news is,
Ralph hung himself in the bathroom with his bathrobe belt right after you
saved him. I am so sorry, but he’s dead.’
Edna replied, ‘He didn’t hang himself, I put him there to dry. How soon can I
go home?’
LANDMARK TITLE CORP.
A Full Service Title Company
109 South State Street, Oscoda, MI 48750
624 West Lake (US-23), Tawas City, MI 48764
989-362-3425
We are a full service financial institution.
13 convenient locations to serve you!
www.northlandcu.com 1-800-336-2328
Richard’s Pharmacy, Gifts & Variety
(989) 724-5178
Scrapbooking, Office & Computer Supplies
Crafts, Floral, Yarn, Floss & Buttons
BatteriestLight BulbstHousewares
Gifts & SouvenirstHoliday Decorations
Hanes Sweats, T-Shirts & Socks
Greeting CardstCandiestStover Candy
Melissa & Doug Toys, Puzzles & Learning Games
Web Site: www.LandmarkTitleCorp.com
Title Insurance w Escrow Service
Real Estate Closings
Landmark Title Corp. offers title insurance,
escrow and closing services for all of your
real estate needs. With an attorney on staff
Landmark Title Corp. is able to provide
preparation of all necessary legal documents.
Whether through a real estate professional
or on your own, Landmark Title Corp. looks
forward to assisting you with your real estate
transactions in Iosco, Alcona and Ogemaw
counties.
– Steven Wright
Myles Insurance Agency, Inc.
“George is a radio announcer, and when
he walks under a bridge... you can’t hear
him talk.”
-- Dale Carnegie
TEACHER: Winnie, name one important thing we have today
that we didn’t have ten years ago.
WINNIE: Me!
Main Street, Harrisville
n
Edna promptly jumped in to save him. She swam to the bottom and pulled him out.
Located Just Minutes from the Best Fishing at
Fletcher’s Floodwaters
Call for a Current Fishing Report
$100 DEALS
A couple drove
down a country
road for several
miles, not saying
a word. An earlier
discussion had led
to an argument
and neither of
them wanted to
concede their
position.
As they passed a
barnyard of mules,
goats, and pigs,
the husband asked
sarcastically,
‘Relatives of
yours?’
‘Yep,’ the wife
replied, ‘in-laws.’
“Remember, today is the tomorrow you worried
about yesterday.”
989-739-5937
Oscoda, MI 48750
Phone
(989) 739-1471
Fax
(989) 739-0606
n
find us online
they supply
The Oscoda Commons
5737 N. US‑23, Oscoda
Karpp’s Oscoda
RadioShack Dealer
REGISTER NOW FOR MARCH CLASSES
Open to the Public for...
Haircuts $5 ~ Shampoo & Set $5 ~ Perms starting at $30
Manicures $5 ~ Pedicures $15
All Services Performed by Senior Students
Wireless
North Star Diner
N
W
E
(989) 739-1837
Friday-Saturday 6am-3pm
Sunday-Thursday 6am-2pm
WEDNESDAYS
$1.00 Coneys
Daily Breakfast and
Lunch Specials
S
Come and See Us in Our New
Location – Suite #3
Authorized Agent
(989) 739-1956
Suite #1
Professional Alterations & Repair
FULL-LINE RADIOSHACK
Enjoy movies, sports,
news & more on over 70
national HD channels
GPS Starting
at $129
Tom-Tom
Garmin
Motorola
Mio
Gary’s
Hair Care
Digital Converter Boxes in Stock
Hours: Mon-Fri 8:30-5:30 • (989) 739-3464
We Accept the $40 Federal Rebate Card
Open 9-5 Mon. thru Sat.
(989) 739-2111 Suite #4
Suite
#6
MEN’S AND BOYS HAIR CUT
ONLY $6.00 with Coupon
DRILL PRESS: A tall upright machine useful for suddenly snatching flat metal bar stock out of your hands
so that it smacks you in the chest and flings your beer across the room.
WIRE WHEEL: Cleans paint off bolts and then throws them somewhere under the workbench, at the speed
of light. Also, it removes fingerprints and hard-earned calluses from fingers in about the time it takes you to
say, ‘Oh sh--’
ELECTRIC HAND DRILL: Normally used for spinning pop rivets in their holes until you die of old age.
POWERSPORTS CONSIGNMENTS
ATV’s, DIRTBIKES, SNOWMOBILES, ETC.
PARTS & SERVICE • equipment rentals
AMERICAN STEEL
CARPORTS
BLUE RHINO
LP EXCHANGE
custom vinyl
signs & decals
24460 Veterans Memorial Hwy, Hillman, MI
(989) 742-4980
SKILL SAW: A portable cutting tool used to make studs too short.
PLIERS: Used to round off bolt heads. Sometimes used in the creation of blood-blisters.
BELT SANDER: An electric sanding tool commonly used to convert minor touch-up jobs into major
refinishing jobs.
HACKSAW: One of a family of cutting tools built on the Ouija board principle. It transforms human energy
into a crooked, unpredictable motion, and the more you attempt to influence its course, the more dismal
your future becomes.
VISE-GRIPS: Generally used after pliers to completely round off bolt heads. If nothing else is available,
they can also be used to transfer intense welding heat to the palm of your hand.
WELDING GLOVES: Heavy duty leather gloves used to prolong the conduction of intense welding heat to
the palm of your hand.
OXY-ACETYLENE TORCH: Used almost entirely for lighting various flammable objects in your shop on fire.
A young cowboy from Wyoming goes off to college.
Also handy for igniting the grease inside the wheel hub out of which you want to remove a bearing race.
Half way through the semester, he has foolishly squandered all
HYDRAULIC FLOOR JACK: Used for lowering an automobile to the ground after you have installed your
his money.
new brake shoes, trapping the jack handle firmly under the bumper.
He calls home. “Dad,” he says, “You won’t believe what modern
education is developing! They actually have a program here in E-Z OUT BOLT AND STUD EXTRACTOR: A tool ten times harder than any known drill bit that snaps neatly
Laramie that will teach our dog, Ol’ Blue how to talk!”
off in bolt holes thereby ending any possible future use.
“That’s amazing,” his Dad says. “How do I get Ol’ Blue in that
BAND SAW: A large stationary power saw primarily used by most shops to cut good aluminum sheets into
program?”
smaller pieces that more easily fit into the trash can after you cut on the wrong side of the line.
“Just send him down here with $1,000” the young cowboy
says.
TWO-TON ENGINE HOIST: A tool for testing the maximum tensile strength of everything you forgot to
“I’ll get him in the course.”
disconnect.
So, his father sends the dog and $1,000.
STRAIGHT SCREWDRIVER: A tool for opening paint cans. Sometimes used to convert common slotted
About two-thirds of the way through the semester, the money
screws into non-removable screws.
again runs out.
The boy calls home.
PRY BAR: A tool used to crumple the metal surrounding that clip or bracket you needed to remove in order
“So how’s Ol’ Blue doing son?” his father asks.
to replace a 50 cent part.
“Awesome, Dad, he’s talking up a storm,” he says, “you just
HAMMER: Originally employed as a weapon of war, the hammer nowadays is used as a kind of divining rod
won’t believe this - they’ve had such good results they have
to locate the most expensive parts adjacent the object we are trying to hit.
started to teach the animals how to read!”
“Read!?” says his father, “No kidding! How do we get Blue in
MECHANIC’S KNIFE: Used to open and slice through the contents of cardboard cartons delivered to your
that program?”
front door; works particularly well on contents such as seats, vinyl records, liquids in plastic bottles, collector
magazines, refund checks, and rubber or plastic parts.
“Just send $2,500, I’ll get him in the class.”
The money promptly arrives. But our hero has a problem.
The World’s
At the end of the year, his father will find out the dog can
“I busted a mirror and got seven
neither talk, nor read. So he shoots the dog.
Shortest Fairy Tale
years bad luck, but my lawyer
When he arrives home at the end of the year, his father is all
Once
upon
a
time,
a
excited.
thinks he can get me five.”
guy asked a girl ‘Will
“Where’s Ol’ Blue? I just can’t wait to see him read something
– Steven Wright
and talk!”
you marry me?’
“Dad,” the boy says, “I have some grim news.
The girl said, ‘NO!’
Yesterday morning, just before we left to drive home,
And the guy lived
Ol’ Blue was in the living room, kicked back in the recliner,
happily ever after and
reading the Wall Street Journal, like he usually does. Then
rode motorcycles
he turned to me and asked, “So, is your daddy still messing’
and went fishing and
around with that little redhead who lives in town?”
hunting and played
(Tim)
(Shawn)
The father exclaimed, “I hope you shot that
golf a lot and drank
dog before he talks to your Mother!”
beer and scotch and
209 S. State, Oscoda, MI 48750
(989) 739-5000
“I sure did, Dad!”
left the toilet seat
“That’s my boy!”
* FREE Hoist Check
* FREE Road Test
up and broke wind
* All Trucks/4x4s
The kid went on to be a successful lawyer,
* American–Foreign
whenever he wanted.
* Automatic–Manual
* Motor Homes
and then he went on to become governor.
* Axles, Clutches & Flywheels
The End.
H
REALTY
150 E. Chisholm Street at US‑23
Alpena, Michigan 49707
www.UCome1st.com
[email protected]
Completely renovated building in downtown
Alpena. New carpet, paint, 2nd bathroom;
all completed in 2007. New Durolast roof
in 2007. Onsite parking and plentiful City
parking on street and adjacent City lots.
Views of Thunder Bay River. Possible Lease!
$99,950 MLS#280090
Nice affordable 60 X 150 lot with septic, well,
driveway and power available. The old trailer
Two story home with 3 BR and 2.5 baths.
is not habitable. $15,000 MLS#280987
Master BR has private bath w/Jacuzzi
tub and separate shower, gas fireplace
in living room, oak cabinets, 200 amp
service, central air and 25X27 attached
garage plus a storage garage 16X16.
Maintenance free exterior House sits on
100 X 185 lot with an additional adjacent
lot approximately 81 X 680. $225,000
MLS#261762
Home features 1.5 baths, two bedrooms, newer
n
Antiques & Vintage Collectibles
Marilyn’s
Remember When
-- George W. Bush
n
w
o
t
e
om
“I have made good judgments in the
past. I have made good judgments
in the future.”
(989) 354-2194
(800) 929-7106
Consignment or Space Available
Call Tracy (989) 820-2303
(989) 739-6911 • Located in
Hobart’s Plaza, 4221 US‑23, Oscoda
(just south of the bridge in Oscoda) •
Winter Hours: Mon-Sat 10am-5:30pm
For All Your Cross Stitch Needs!
• DMC Floss • Fabrics • Books • Buttons • Beads
*Complete Custom Matting & Framing Service
~Mail/Phone Orders Always Welcome~
Hours: Monday - Friday 10am-5pm
Suite 132 • 2205 US‑23 South • Alpena, MI 49707
(989) 354-3739
“Its not the size of the dog in the fight, its the size
of the fight in the dog.” – Mark Twain
kitchen, 150 amp service, two covered porches plus
newer garage (24X36) with heated workshop area.
Sold in as is condition. $49,900 MLS#290095
Three bedroom, 2 bath ranch in move in
condition. Features full unfinished basement,
10½ blocks high, plumbed for bathroom, tiled
around and middle connected to storm sewer
with a back-up sump pump plus a N. gas wall
furnace & heater. Ms bedroom has private bath &
walk-in closet. Great 14X14 sunroom w/electric
heat for those cold winter days. Irregular shaped
kitchen w/lots of cupboards & pantry. Fenced
yard, 200 amp service, attached finished garage,
storage shed and new roof in 2002. 1 year Home
Warranty! $115,000 MLS#280717
Luxurious Condo living! Master bdrm on main
floor w/ double closets, 2 bdrms up + full bath
w/ additional loft area. 150 amp service. 2.5 att.
garage that is finished & heated. Association
dues are $125/month(snow removal, lawn care,
exterior repairs and trash disposal plus exterior
insurance. Boat slips available for purchase.
$154,500 MLS#270915
Country general store with custom deli and
pizza ovens. Shelving, 6’ display cooler, 37X9’8”
walk-in cooler, storage area and central air.
Authorized “Lotto” sales location. 17X52 section Great Location - Use the store front to start
has 5 year lease with US Postal Service. your own business or open a beauty shop
with current fixtures. There are 3 apartments
$350,000 MLS#280638
to generate additional income. Don’t let this
great opportunity pass you by. PRICED
TO SELL! Presently storefront is rented for
$500 per month. Total monthly income of
$1,700.00. $99,000 MLS#280053
Great 3 BR ranch with 2 sided fireplace and
paved drive on a nicely treed lot. Natural gas
baseboard heat and water heater plus 100
amp service. There’s a 2 car attached garage
with utility room and a 12X20 storage shed.
Property is sold “As Is” and “Where Is” with
no warranties expressed or implied. $64,400
MLS#281077
PRICED TO SELL! Older farm house
situated on 20 acres. House features 5
BR, 1 bath and full basement. Detached 2
car garage with lean to. Owner is selling in
as is condition. $79,900 MLS#270959
Accept that some days you’re the pigeon, and some days
you’re the statue.
Always keep your words soft and sweet, just in case you
have to eat them.
Always read stuff that will make you look good if you die in
the middle of it.
If you can’t be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.
If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again,
it was probably worth it.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply be kind to
others.
Never put both feet in your mouth at the same time
because then you won’t have a leg to stand on.
Nobody cares if you can’t dance well. Just get up and
dance.
Since it’s the early worm that gets eaten by the bird, sleep
late.
The second mouse gets the cheese.
When everything’s coming your way, you’re in the wrong
lane.
Birthdays are good for you. The more you have, the longer
you live.
Two little old ladies were sitting on a park bench
outside the local town hall where a flower show was
in progress.
The thin one leaned over and said, ‘Life is so boring.
We never have any fun any more. For $10 I’d take
my clothes off and streak through that stupid flower
show!’
‘You’re on!’ said the other old lady, holding up a $10
bill.
The first little old lady slowly fumbled her way out
of her clothes and, completely naked, streaked (as fast as an old lady can)
through the front door of the flower show.
Waiting outside, her friend soon heard a huge commotion inside the hall,
followed by loud applause and shrill whistling. Finally, the smiling old lady
came through the exit door surrounded by a cheering crowd.
‘What happened?’ asked her waiting friend.
‘I won 1st prize as Best Dried Arrangement. ‘
It’s amazing how kids interpret
things. This was actually
reported by a teacher. After
Christmas, a teacher asked her
young pupils how they spent
their holiday away from school.
One child wrote the following:
We always used to spend the
holidays with Grandma and
Grandpa. They used to live in
a big brick house but Grandpa
got retarded and they moved to
Florida. Now, they live in a tin box
and have rocks painted green to
look like grass.
They ride around on their bicycles
and wear name tags because
they don’t know who they are
anymore. They go to a building
called a wrecked center, but they
must have got it fixed because
it is all okay now. They do
exercises there, but they don’t
do them very well. There is a
swimming pool too, but they all
jump up and down in it with hats
on.
A truly happy person is one who can enjoy the scenery on
a detour.
At their gate, there is a doll house
with a little old man sitting in it.
He watches all day so nobody
can escape. Sometimes they
sneak out, and go cruising in their
golf carts. Nobody there cooks,
they just eat out. And, they eat
the same thing every night - it’s
called early birds. Some of the
people can’t get out past the man
in the doll house. The ones, who
do get out, bring food back to the
wrecked center for pot luck.
TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical
formula for water?
DONALD: H I J K L M N O.
TEACHER: What are you talking about?
DONALD: Yesterday you said it’s H to O.
My Grandma says that Grandpa
worked all his life to earn his
retardment and says I should
work hard so I can be retarded
someday too. When I earn my
retardment, I want to be the man
in the doll house. Then I will let
people out, so they can visit their
grandchildren.
You may be only one person in the world, but you may also
be the world to one person.
Some mistakes are too much fun to only make once.
We could learn a lot from crayons...
Some are sharp, some are pretty and some are dull. Some
have weird
names, and all are different colors, but they all have to live
in the same box.
Relaxed Fine Dining & Spirited Drink
(Served 4:30 to 8:30 p.m. - no substitutions)
MONDAY - BBQ Babyback Ribs $10.95
1/2 slab, tossed salad & baked potato
TUESDAY - Chicken Especiale $10.95
with mashed taiters & tossed salad
WEDNESDAY - Choice of Chops $10.95
BBQ Chop or Apple Glazed Chop
served with potato rissoto & tossed salad
THURSDAY - Pan Fried Perch $10.95
with coleslaw and French fries
Or enjoy a selection from our regular menu
Dine-in Only - Take-outs Add $2.00
739-1518 • 111 East Dwight in Downtown Oscoda
Sam died. His will provided $30,000 for an elaborate
funeral. As the last guests departed the affair, his wife
Sarah turned to her oldest and dearest friend. “Well, I’m
sure Sam would be pleased,” she said.
“I’m sure you’re right,” replied Jody, who lowered her
voice and leaned in close. “How much did this really
cost?”
“All of it,” said Sarah . “Thirty thousand.”
“No!” Jody exclaimed. “I mean, it was very nice, but
$30,000?”
Sarah answered, “The funeral was $6,500. I donated
$500 to the synagogue. The whiskey, wine and snacks
were another $500. The rest went for the Memorial
Stone.”
Jody computed quickly. “$22,500 for a Memorial Stone?
My God, how big is it?”
“Two and a half carats.”
10
n
“Darwin” Awards
PART ONE
Note: We have no idea whether these are true, but if not, someone has quite an imagination!
Semifinalist #1
A young Canadian man, searching for a way of getting drunk cheaply, because he had no money with
which to buy alcohol, mixed gasoline with milk.. Not surprisingly, this concoction made him ill, and he
vomited into the fireplace in his house. This resulting explosion and fire burned his house down, killing
both him and his sister.
Semifinalist #2
Three Brazilian men were flying in a light aircraft at low altitude when another plane approached.
It appears that they decided to moon the occupants of the other plane, but lost control of their own
aircraft and crashed.. They were all found dead in the wreckage with their pants around their ankles.
Semifinalist #3
A 22-year-old Reston , VA , man was found dead after he tried to use octopus straps to bungee jump
off a 70-foot rail road trestle.
Fairfax County police said Eric Barcia, a fast food worker, taped a bunch of these straps together,
wrapped an end around one foot, anchored the other end to the trestle at Lake Accotink Park, jumped
and hit the pavement. Warren Carmichael, a police spokesman, said investigators think Barcia was
alone because his car was found nearby. ‘The length of the cord that he had assembled was greater
than the distance between the trestle and the ground,’ Carmichael said. Police say the apparent
cause of death was ‘Major trauma.’
Semifinalist #4
A man in Alabama died from rattlesnake bites. It seems that he and a friend were playing a game of
catch, using the rattlesnake as a ball. The friend - no doubt a future Darwin Awards candidate - was
hospitalized.
Semifinalist #5
Employees in a medium-sized warehouse in west Texas noticed the smell of a gas leak. Sensibly,
management evacuated the building extinguishing all potential sources of ignition; lights, power, etc.
After the building had been evacuated, two technicians from the gas company were dispatched.
Upon entering the building, they found they had difficulty
navigating in the dark. To their frustration, none of the lights
worked. Witnesses later described the sight of one of the
technicians reaching into his pocket and retrieving an object
that resembled a cigarette lighter.
Upon operation of the lighter-like object, the gas in the
warehouse exploded, sending pieces of it up to three miles
away.
Nothing was found of the technicians, but the lighter
was virtually untouched by the explosion. The technician
suspected of causing the blast had never been thought of
as ‘’bright’’ by his peers.
3137 US. 23 South, Alpena MI 49707
Open 9-6 Mon-Fri • 9-4 Sat
(989) 356-4141 or
1-800-968-1976
You’ll Love This Place!
Supplying Your Wintertime Fun for 33 Years
Sales • Service • Accessories
*$1000 Customer Cash offer good on select 2008 models between 1/1/09 and 3/26/09. **On approved Yamaha card purchases made between
2/1/09 and 5/31/09. Valid on any new Yamaha ATV and Side by Side. 9.99% APR and $59 (purchase between $4,301 and $6,500), $69 ($6,501
and $7,700), $89 ($7,701 and $10,000) payment for 24 months. The minimum monthly payment may increase due to any debt cancellation or
late payment fees. Paying only this amount will not pay off the purchase during this period. Thereafter, the regular Minimum Monthly Payment
and Standard Rate APR of 12.99%, 16.99%, 18.99% or 22.99% apply. For Accounts not current, the promotion is cancelled and regular
Minimum Monthly Payments and the Default Rate 28.99% APR apply. Minimum Finance Charge $1. Certain rules apply to the allocation of
payments and Finance Charges on your promotional purchase if you make more than one purchase on your Yamaha Card. Call 1-888-367-4310
or review your cardholder agreement for information. Professional riders with advanced skills on closed course. Dress properly for your ride with
a helmet, eye protection, gloves and boots. Do not drink and ride. It is illegal and dangerous. Yamaha and the Motorcycle Safety Foundation
encourage you to ride safely and respect the environment. For further information regarding the MSF course, please call 1-800-446-9227. • ATVs
with engine sizes of 90cc or greater are recommended for use only by riders age 16 years and older. Yamaha recommends that all ATV riders
take an approved training course. For safety and training information, see your dealer or call the ATV Safety Institute at 1-800-887-2887. ATVs
can be hazardous to operate. For your safety: Always avoid paved surfaces. Never ride on public roads. Always wear a helmet, eye protection
and protective clothing; never carry passengers; never engage in stunt riding; riding and alcohol/drugs don’t mix; avoid excessive speed; and be
particularly careful on difficult terrain. On the Yamaha Side by Sides, always wear your seat belt, helmet, eye protection and protective clothing.
©2009 Yamaha Motor Corp., U.S.A. Cypress, CA 90630. yamaha-motor.com
RE/MAX New Horizons
2281 US 23 S., Alpena • 989-358-1144 • 888-994-7888
On the Web at www.remaxalpena.com
NEWER CABIN ON 20 ACRES
INVESTMENT OPPORTUNITY
Here is a perfect getaway or cozy home nestled on 20 mostly wooded
acres near Barton City. Warm and inviting open floor plan with knotty
pine interior, full kitchen and laundry hookups, 2 bedrooms, wonderful
bath w/extra large shower. Walking path along property lines. Price just
reduced to $79,900 MLS 280863 Call Sharon @989-657-6610.
Just reduced to $59,900 (from $77,900) this triplex in excellent southside
location in Alpena has some remodeling already done and would be a great
investment. Live in one apartment and rent the other two or rent all three
units – it will pay for itself in no time! Large parking area, one year Home
Warranty included. MLS 280859 Call Bev @989-464-7443
300 FT ON MAJESTIC LAKE HURON
SIDE BY SIDE DUPLEX
1-1/2 story, 2 bedroom home/cottage on pristine secluded wooded
setting overlooking Lake Huron and Middle Island. Open floor plan
including vaulted ceiling in living room with cozy attractive fireplace.
Bright skylights in kitchen and bath, extra loft area adjoining upstairs
bedroom. 2 walkouts to lakeside. Nature abounds at this year ‘round
retreat! $199,900 MLS 281348 Call Sharon @989-657-6610
Two 5-room units each with its’ own storage building located close to churches,
schools and shopping in Alpena. Each 2-bedroom unit offers refrigerator and
range as well as hook up for washer and dryer. Home warranty offered by
sellers who have reduced the price from $89,500 to $73,500. MLS 280857
Call Bev @989-464-7443.
THUNDER BAY RIVERFRONT
CHARMING BUNGALOW
Well cared for 3 bedroom home with spacious living room, dining area
with walkout to waterfront covered porch. Many recent upgrades and
improvements, newer appliances, paved road just minutes from Alpena.
Wildlife galore, great fishing and recreational opportunities await you
with this affordable waterfront find. $109,000 Non-MLS Call Sharon
@989-657-6610
Three bedroom home with remodeling done – replaced windows, doors,
drywall, countertops, sinks, flooring, carpeting. Added deck with patio
slider off living room. Tastefully decorated. Family size kitchen, heated
sunroom/porch. Great location in heart of Alpena. Price reduction
from $71,900 to $59,900 MLS 280855 Call Bev @989-464-7443.
YES, you can buy
a home in this
market –
ask us how!
AFFORDABLE HOME
Adorable 3 bedroom home on county maintained road offering large
master bedroom with walk-in closet and private bath with soaking tub,
separate shower and double sinks. Large entrance closet to hide all
your winter gear and then some, kitchen with island great for baking or
socializing while cooking. Room to add a garage on this 2-acre parcel.
Priced to sell at $46,000 MLS 281368 Call Cindy at 989-657-1171
MOVE-IN CONDITION
HUNTING RETREAT
Unique 19 acres with artesian well, 2 ponds, 1 with dock to tie your
canoe, plus Miller Creek borders property. Wildlife abounds. Recent
updates to 2-3 bedroom, ¾ log cabin with full bath. Included are
mineral rights with paying royalties. $90,000 MLS 281092 Call Nancy
@989-255-8362
“UP NORTH”
This recently remodeled 2 bedroom home offers an updated kitchen,
bath and laundry room as well as newer furnace, water heater, siding,
roof, flooring, doors, light fixtures and some windows. Set-up for future
expansion off back if needed. Insulated and heated finished garage
with workshop. Beautiful wooded setting close to Alpena. $116,500
MLS 281119 Call Cindy at 989-657-1171.
ONE LEVEL LIVING
A delightful home touched by history with traditional wood floors offers
3 bedrooms, spacious lliving room with fireplace, formal dining room,
quaint sitting room off kitchen providing a quiet place to read or study,
and large fenced in backyard. Lots of room in full basement for storage,
crafts or play area plus detached garage. $98,000 MLS 290050 Call
Cindy at 989-657-1171.
Terrific wooded site, great for that “Up North” camping spot, getaway,
or full time living. Build your dream home or cabin nestled in the
woods. Only 1,000 feet from boat launch on Fletcher Pond. Driveway
and culvert are in and utilities are nearby. $5,000 MLS 290058 Call
Nancy @989-255-8362
20 ACRES
Great location to build your dream retreat and hunt out your back
door. Gently rolling terrain, 8 acres wooded and 12 tillable, utilities
nearby, located on a paved county road. Near Lake Huron and
Hubbard Lake. PRICE REDUCED to $39,000 MLS 281016 Call
Nancy @989-255-8362.
All full time agents to assist you!
Sharon Houston,
GRI, ABR
Broker/Owner
(989) 657-6610
[email protected]
Beverly Masters,
ABR
REALTOR
(989) 464-7443
[email protected]
Cindy Limback,
ABR
REALTOR
(989) 657-1171
[email protected]
Nancy Hier
REALTOR
(989) 255-8362
[email protected]
4687 East F 41
Oscoda, Michigan
Located on F-41 and Cedar
Lake Road at the Light.
Stop in and view all our listings!
www.oscodarealty.com
Oscoda Realty
We Open Doors!
Also Doing Property Management
3378V** Commercial building includes office, bath and a work shop, open
floor area with high ceilings,excellent location for numerous types of businesses.
Building sits on 3 lots, plenty of room for expansion if needed. Owner is a taxidermist. $97,500
3437W**3 bedroom, 1 1/2 bath ranch. Nice house in a beautiful neighborhood.
$89,000
3374J** This 1997 Patriot “Special Edition” mobile is located on two
beautifully treed lots. It comes almost completely furnished and the rest is negotiable!
$39,900
75± ACRES! Pick your spot
to build your home on this
beautiful hunting property.
It has wild life galore with
4 deer blinds!Ideal property
for the outdoors man! Great
for cross country skiing,
hunting and snow mobiling.
It has an artesian well too!
$175,000
3416B** Super retirement or starter home w/no grass to cut or leaves
to rake, good location access to Van Ettan Lake and AuSable River, 3 bedrooms 1.5
baths, new 2 car attached garage, home has been remodeled, the owners have not #3455R** This 3 bedroom home is in excellent shape, with new carpeting in
2007 and new furnace in 2007! Detached 2-car garage. Corner lot. $79,900
had time to enjoy it and would like to sell. $83,000
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11
Rose Mary Myrick, Broker
Cell 989-464-7386
Connie Tanghetti
William (Bill) Duncan
George Cauvin
Butch Green
989-820-6338
989-820-7165
989-739-5615
989-569-3053
3375K**Nice ranch style home near Van Ettan Lake! New windows, doors, carpet,
well pump, and pressure tank. Worth taking a look at this one!! Owner negotiable on furniture.
$89,900
3436W**Nice 3-BEDROOM HOME with attached garage in a magnificent neighborhood,
sits on nicely treed lot just outside of town! Come take a look, you won”t be disappointed!
$89,000
3350D**Cozy home in very good condition, great retirement or getaway home. Heated
garage has remote opener with workshop and office space. Near snowmobile trails and
great fishing. Near federal land. $48,500
Northeast
Land
Surveys
N E L S
survey says...whenever you draw a line, someone will try to cross it
BILL WOODS - PROFESSIONAL LAND SURVEYOR SINCE 1973
Serving All Your Commercial & Residential Needs
Don’t build until you KNOW where your boundary lines are! Ask us
about some stories of those who didn’t.
Global Positioning Satellite (GPS) Land Surveying Services
All Aspects of Land Surveying • Licensed and Insured
We Have Been Serving the Following Counties for Over 30 YEARS:
Alcona, Arenac, Iosco, Ogemaw, and Oscoda.
Now with extended service to standish and
pinconning areas
Member of the Michigan Society of Professional Surveyors
5461 Cedar Lake Road, Oscoda, MI 48750
989-739-0771
Fax 989-739-0772 • [email protected]
12
n
find us online
they supply
Now That Is One Big “Pig”
You should always have Mr. Pistola with you. Sometimes you need Mr. Cannon, though.
An over 1,800 lb. wild boar shot and killed in Northern Louisisana. What would you do if this beast was coming at you?
Run for dear life? Climb a tree? Or simply get run over?
219 Newman St.
East Tawas, MI
362-3674
5226 North US‑23
Oscoda, MI
739-1341
113 West Houghton Ave.
West Branch, MI
345-5710
Spend $100 in Pandora and get
a FREE Lobsterclaw Bracelet
while supplies last • limit one per client
See what happens when you cheat
on your spouse? It’s always the kids
who suffer...
“Let’s have some new cliches.”
-- Samuel Goldwyn
NAPA AUTO PARTS
Full Line Parts for
Auto • Truck • Marine • RTV
Get Ready
for
Spring Tune Up
Your Toys!
(989) 362-3459
121 W. State St. • E. Tawas, MI 48730
“I married an
Irishman on St.
Patrick’s Day.”
“Oh, really?”
“No, O’Reilly!”
“DATELINE NORTHERN MICHIGAN: Hundreds march in
protest against global warming...”
Two blondes in california were sitting
on a bench talking and one blonde says
to the other, “Which do you think is
farther away, Florida or the moon?” The other blonde turns and says
“Helloooooooooo, can you see
Florida.......?????
Business Insurance.
It’s Not
Just About
the Bricks,
Mortar &
Inventory...
(989) 739-9123
5070 N. US‑23 • Oscoda, MI 48750
It’s about the people who rely on the business:
the customers ... the employees ... and you!
As an Independent Agent we can tailor a program just right for
you. Safe.Sound.Secure.® insurance protection from
Thick, Tough + Rubbery
That Means
Truckbed Protection
plus! Cargo Protection
Available Now at
Cutting Edge Collision Specialist LLC
“Technology for Today’s Vehicles”
Collision Repair and Custom Paint for Cars, Trucks,
Boats and Motorcycles
989-354-6609
3858 M32 West, Alpena, MI 49707
Auto-Owners Insurance Company, The “No Problem” People.®
Myles & Sons Insurance Agency, Inc.
Oscoda
989-739-2031
800-333-1941
12279-8 (01/06)
AGENCY NAME
Serving the Area
AGENCY ADDRESS
for More Than
AGENCY PHONE NUMBER
50 Years
Standish
989-846-4121
800-566-4121
n
13

Custom Blinds, Cornices and Draperies
Your Life.
Walking Across America collection of works available at Simple Miracles, Harrisville
Your Look.
Call for Complimentary In-Home Estimate
401 N. State St., Oscoda • 739-2770
Appliance Outlet & More
Sales & Service
PROPANE HEATERS IN STOCK
ANY NEW HOT WATER
HEATER...$150
Your Choice
GENERATORS • CHAIN SAWS • WASHERS & DRYERS
SCRATCH & DENT
50% the Cost of New!
1193 Lake St • Tawas, MI 48763
BUS: 989.984.0100 FAX: 989.984.0120
Free Service Call with Repair
“The difference between the right
word and the almost right word is the
difference between lightning and a
lightning bug.”
-- Mark Twain
“Love is not enough. It must be the foundation, the cornerstone - but not
the complete structure. It is much too pliable, too yielding.”
– Bette Davis
MILLER AUTO PARTS
337 S. State, Oscoda, MI
(989) 739-3336
Open 8am-5:30pm Mon-Fri
8am-3pm Sat, 10am-2pm Sun
Kalitta & Cooper Standard
DISCOUNTS
Check Out Our New
Line of Tools
Also Now Carrying
Small Engine Parts
Snow sculpture in old town Alpena
McDonald Electric, LLC
and Heating & Cooling
Has your furnace been overworked this winter?
Have Your Home Heating System Checked to Assure
It’s Working Properly and Avoid Costly Repairs Later!
Repair & Service for All Makes and Models
Free Estimates
Licensed & Insured
19 Years Experience
3415 E. Cedar Lk. Drive
Greenbush
(989) 820-5223
14
n
Good Food, Good FUN
Dining and Entertainment
at the “Four Corners” in Hubbard Lake
Happy Hour v Mon-Thur v Noon to 6pm
Red
MON Rib Special 1/2 Rack w/ French fries
w
TUES $2 TUESDAY! All drinks $2.00 (drinks regularly “WIN ings
SPE GS”
priced at $4.00 or less)
CIA
L
WED Happy Hour All Day
THURSPizza Special/ $1 off Small, $2 off Med., $3 off Large
FRI Dinner Feature - All You Can Eat Cod $12.95
SUN $1.50 Beer ALL DAY • NASCAR Sundays
Corned Beef & Cabbage and Green Beer - St. Patrick’s Day
bowling • pool
game room
full bar • grille
MARDI GRAS PARTY - SATURDAY, MARCH 21st
DJ, Beads, Food and Fun!!!
Open Bowling Saturdays 4-11
Call for More Open Bowling Times
Open 7 Days a Week * Noon-2am
All Menu Items Available for Take-out * We Also Have BEER-TO-GO
Kitchen Hours: Sun-Thur Noon-11pm, Fri/Sat Noon-Midnight
Located across from Tawas City Park
444 W. Lake Street, Tawas City
(989) 727-3560
7002 Hurbert, N. End Hubbard Lake
FRIDAY
ALL-YOU-CAN-EAT COD
$8.25
St. Patrick’s Day
Corned Beef & Cabbage
Food So Good,
You’ll Think
We Stole Your
Grandma
Breakfast ‘Til Noon
Sat ‘Til 12:30p
Sun ‘Til 1:00p
101 N. Lake St
Lincoln, MI
989-736-6611
Happy Birthday,
Troy - March 24
Daily LUNCH & Dinner Specials
989-362-8200
Why is it that if someone tells you
that there are 1 billion stars in the
Universe you will believe them, but if
they tell you a wall has wet paint you
will have to touch it to be sure?
Backwoods Bistro
TEACHER: Glen, why do you always get so
dirty?
GLEN: Well, I’m a lot closer to the
ground than you are..
mention “the good life” paper and get
10% OFF any pizza or dinner!
Little Caesars PLEASERS®
Meatsa! Meatsa! 2 Mediums
$22
Supreme! Supreme! 2for
Larges
Veggie! Veggie! for $24
OSCODA
739-1487
5113 North US‑23
Home of the
HOT-N-READY
Chicken Wings 10, 20, 30 pc.
Hot, Mild, Plain or Barbecued
CASUAL DINING
BAKERY
IMPORTED BEER & WINE
GOURMET FOODS
105 S. State Street
989-724-7473
Manuel & Kim Pompa, Proprietors
[email protected]
Two young women were shopping.
When they started to discuss their home
lives, one said, “Seems like all Alfred and I do
anymore is fight. I’ve been so upset I’ve lost
20 pounds.”
“Why don’t you just leave him then?” asked
her friend.
“Oh! Not yet.” the first replied, “I’d like to
lose at least another fifteen pounds first.”
MEDIUM SQUARE-PAN 2-ITEM PIZZA
with Pitcher of Beer or Pop $16.00
SMALLER PORTION MENU $7.95 or LESS
Home of Carol’s Famous Bloody Mary &
The Backwoods Bistro Wild Mushroom Bisque Soup
FRIDAY All-You-Can-Eat Fish & Chips $8.95
866 N. Barlow Rd, Lincoln
Hours: Mon-Thurs 11:30am-8:00pm, Fri-Sat ‘til 9:00pm, Sun 3:00-7:00pm
Harbortown
Pizza
“TASTY TUESDAY”
Medium 2-item pizza $8.00, 4-8pm
“NEW” Hand-Tossed Pizzas
Pizza * Subs * Pasta Dishes
Chicken Wings * Salads
989-724-5000
OPEN
7 DAYS
At the Stoplight in Harrisville
CRYSTAL BAY
Think Spring!!!
American Cuisine with Style
Steak, Fish, Homemade Soups,
Biggest Shrimp in Town
Beer/Wine/Cocktails
Try Our Lake Perch Specials
Across from Beach in Tawas City
Mon-Sat 8am-9pm • Sun 8am-2pm
RESTAURANT
Open 8am Daily for Breakfast
362-3887 448 W Lake St. (US-23)
Good Food, Good FUN
Home of
The ALL NEW
Charlie Burger
and
The Best Pizza
in the North!
All You can eat
fish fry fridays
Now only $9.99
BRING AD AND
SAVE $1.00
THE WAGON WHEEL
Music - Pool - Keno
HOMEMADE SOUPS DAILY
Enjoy the Warmth of the Old Wood Stove
SPEED P
L
Mondays Open Pool, 75¢ Drafts All Day
& 3-BALL
Every Monday Night: Euchre 7pm
14” 2-Item Pizza w/ Pitcher of Beer $12
TOURNAMENTS
Every Tuesday 6pm - Ladies Night
Every Sunday 1pm
$10 Entry
Wednesdays All-Day Mexican Specialties, $3 Margaritas
100% Payout to
Thursdays 25¢ Wings All Day - Dine-in Only
1st, 2nd & 3rd
Fri/Sat/Sun BBQ Ribs
MDA “Cue for a Cure”
Sunday, March 15th
Eco-Smart Auction, Bid on the many
things you use every day!
Also, win a date with Charlie!
SaturdayS
Karaoke 7-11pm
Fridays
Cod & Chips $9.95
#1 People’s Choice
Best Burger
Always Fresh
Never Frozen
Take-out Available
Club Keno • Automatic Keno
Big Screen TV • Friendly Staff
431 N. Mill St • Oscoda (off River Rd.)
RED
ROOSTER
restaurant
Coming
Back Soon:
“Seventh
Sorrow”
Watch for Date
Karaoke Friday & Saturday Nights
Music Maker
KARAOKE & DJ
NORTHERN MICHIGAN’SBEST DJ
HILLTOP
SALOON
(989) 739-0344
Donna Roussin
Operating with Bose Audio System
2030 East Nicholson Hill Rd in Ossineke - (989) 471-5103
It has been suggested that one out of every
four persons is suffering from some sort of
mental illness.
Think of your three best friends. If they’re all
okay, then it’s you.
Full American
& Italian Cuisine
Homemade
Soups, Pies &
Bread
Corned Beef & Cabbage
for St. Patrick’s Day,
March 17th
Daily Specials • Low Prices • Friendly Service
Generous Portions • Breakfast Anytime
WEEKLY SPECIALS:
Tue: All-u-Can-Eat Spaghetti
Wed: Mexican
Thurs: Pizza Specials
Fri: Cod, Perch, Fish & Chips
Sat: Lasagna Supreme
OPEN DAILY 8am - 9pm
989-739-7659
3228 US 23
8 miles N. of Oscoda in Greenbush
“We could certainly slow the aging
process down if it had to work its
way through Congress.”
-- Will Rogers
Hoppe’s Hut
Every Saturday
Doors Open at 5:00pm
for Lunch & Early Birds
BINGO at 6:30pm
Never
a Cover
Charge
Live Music Every Weekend (Fri/Sat)
Live Country Music Every Other Sunday
MICHIGAN PROGRESSIVE • BALLS GAME
BARBECUE RIBS & CHICKEN
All-Inclusive $8.00 • 3rd Friday of Every Month
Next Barbecue Dinner is March 20th
AERIE 4141
671 N. Sanborn Road, Barton City • (989) 736-3050
Hours: Mon-Sat 10:30am-7:30pm, Closed Sun
Customer Rewards Program
$20 Reward Certificate for every
$100 spent on groceries
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
March: 6 -7 – Liquid Cooled • 13-14 – Tolin Brothers
20-21 – Echo’s • 27-28 – Day Of Defiance
April: 3-4 – Liquid Cooled • 10-11 – Kopy Katz
SERVING A FULL MENU
Burgers • Pizza • Ribs • Prime Rib
Open Daily at 7:00am for Breakfast
6449 M‑65 S. at Werth Rd, Lachine
(989) 379-4456
Buy Any Whole 16” Grinder
& Get a Half Grinder
Y
L
N
O
FOR
99¢
MUST PRESENT COUPON
Limit one per coupon, per visit.
Not valid with other specials.
Expires May 1, 2009
WE NOW ACCEPT BRIDGE CARDS
Dine In – Carry Out or Delivery
Quality Cut Meats
1235 State St. • Alpena
Fresh Produce • Dairy • Frozen Foods
Dry Goods • Personal Care Items & More
We Slice & Sell Deli Meats & Cheeses by the Pound
989-354-7771
Open at 11 a.m. daily
n
15
16
n
find us online
they supply
fresh, handpressed burgers
hand-tossed
deep-dish pizzas
Now Serving Breakfast
8am-12:30pm Saturday • 8am-3pm Sunday
Breakfast Specials
Great Food • Good Spirits • Daily Specials
Our Place is Your Place
WEDNESDAY: 9-Ball
THURSDAY: Bring Your Own CD
to Play and Sing!
FRIDAY/SATURDAY: Open Juke
SUNDAY: Nascar Sunday
Come join us with a little bit of the Irish Luck at Our Place Food &
Spirits. Corned Beef & Cabbage and Dessert for $10.95
Also Irish Green Draft Beer Specials • 75¢ Shell, $1.50 Mug
Dine In or Out
Daily Specials
DRINK SPECIALS
Made Fresh
Phone in Your
EVERY DAY
7 Days a Week
Order
TUES, MARCH 17: CORNED BEEF & CABBAGE DINNER
Lincoln’s Best Char Burger
All You Can Eat Cod
& Deep Dish Pizza
FRIDAYS $8.95
EVERY SATURDAY NIGHT: MR. D’s ENTERTAINMENT
Coming Soon: Local Delivery Fresh & Hot (no breakfast)
214 Second St.
Downtown Lincoln
(989) 736-6400
Open Mon-Fri 11am-12am
Sat 8am-12am • Sun 8am-3pm
Corned Beef & Cabbage for St. Patrick’s Day
SUNDAY, MARCH 8th
“CUE FOR A CURE”
50/50 Auction • Food & Drink Specials
1-989-736-7036 • 3987 N. Barlow Rd (F‑41)
Just north of Lincoln and south of Lost Lake Woods Club
s
’
a
try
m
n
n
a
u
e
M Co
h
c
Kit
Daily -Eat
an
ou-C
All-Y pecial ket
S
as
t
kfas
Brea
y
l
i
a
l
D
ia
Spec, Meat,
d B 3:
Brea
f
with hoice o ,
C
and p, Salad t
Sou Desser
to,
Pota
gs
2 Eg & Coffee
t
nly
Toas -11am O
am
6:30
The Country Carriage
Restaurant & Pub
James & Tria Coleman, Owners
Homemade Soups & Salads & More
Asian Buffet Sat. 4pm • Friday Night Fish Fry
SUNDAY BREAKFAST BUFFET
Pizza, Grinders, and More
Join Us for a St. Patrick’s Day
Corned Beef Dinner - Beverage Specials
Call for Your Important
Party or Meeting
Private Seating Available
OPEN 7 DAYS
3141 N. M‑65, Hale
(989) 728-0152 • (989) 728-4953
Homemade Soups Every Day
Sunday-Thursday 6:30am to 8:00pm
Friday-Saturday 6:30am-9:00pm
Daily Lunch and Dinner Specials
“I don’t feel old. I don’t feel anything until
noon. Then it’s time for my nap.”
– Bob Hope
DAILY DINING SPECIALS
Monday - Dollar Day. Sliders, Tacos & Hot Dogs
Thursday - Hot Meat Loaf Dinner $6.99
Friday - Perch Fry $7.99 or AYCE Pollack $7.99
Mon/Wed/Sat - $3.99 New York Strips, $1.00 Sides
FREE
Sunday - 25¢ Wings All Day
Everyday - Daily Food Specials
Exotic Female Dancers - $5 Cover for Guys
Fridays & Saturdays After 9pm
DJ Fri-Sat with DJ Joey K
Mon-Fri
1/3 Pound
Burger
w/ Draft Beer
$3.99
11am-6pm
Wednesday is Ladies Night
5-Close, $1.50 Well Drinks
$1.50 Beers 7-9pm for the Guys
Play All Your Favorite
Daily Lottery Games Here
We Are a Biker-Friendly Establishment
1273 South US-23 at Tawas City Limits • Phone (989) 362-3666
n
17
New York
(989)
Deli & Pizza 362-9067
THE NORTH END
Family Restaurant
SERVING BREAKFAST, LUNCH, & DINNER
7 AM to 10 PM
OPEN 7
DAYS A
WEEK
DAILY
SPECIALS
HOMEMADE
SOUPS & CHILI
PIZZA
OPEN YEAR
‘ROUND
Large 1 Topping
Pizza
$5.99
Dine In or Carry Out Only
Delivery Extra
Must Present Coupon
989-727-2700
At the North End of Hubbard Lake 1575 W. Hubert Rd.
126 Newman
(first block)
Downtown East Tawas
Hours
Mon-Fri 8am-11pm
Sat 10am-11pm
Sun Noon-10pm
All-You-Can Eat Spaghetti Monday Nights 4-8pm
Includes Spaghetti, Salad, Bread & Drink for $5.99 • Kids 10 & Under for $2.99
Pool • Darts • Burgers
Beer Specials on Tuesdays & Thursdays
Karaoke Wed, Fri, Sat and Sun at 8:00
Eucher Tournament Every Saturday at 2pm
St. Patty’s Party - Mar. 17 - Food & Spirits
MDA Pool Tournament - Mar. 21
109 River St. in Alpena 989-356-9117
NEW
NEW
ENTERTAINMENT
ENTERTAINMENT
Wednesday-Saturday
Wednesday-Saturday
40+ ITEM
MENU
ST. PATTY’S
DAY PARTY
- March 17
FROM
BURGERS
TO
PIZZA
Corned Beef &
Cabbage - Live Entertainment
@ 9pm
40+ ITEM
MENU
“Serving Shenanigans Since 1980”
Kitchen serving
food Mon.-Wed.
11-8
FROM BURGERS
TO
PIZZA
Thurs.-Sat. 11-9, Sun. Noon-8
Kitchen serving food Mon.-Wed. 11-8
FIVE KENO SCREENS
Thurs.-Sat. 11-9,
Sun.
Noon-8
FREE
Wifi Wireless
Internet
ATM - Pull Tabs
Free WiFi
4709 F-41
Oscoda, Michigan
www.officeloungeandgrill.com
FIVE KENO
SCREENS
110 E. Dwight
Street, Oscoda
FREE Wifi Wireless
Internet
739-3388
- 739-EATS (3287)
ATM - Pull
Tabs
(989) 739-5611
www.officeloungeandgrill.com
ALL YOU CAN EAT FISH FRY! FRIDAY $8.00 inc. tx.
110 E. Dwight Street, Oscoda
739-3388 - 739-EATS (3287)
ALL YOU CAN EAT FISH FRY! FRIDAY $8.00 inc. tx.
A man was sitting on the edge of the bed, observing his wife, looking at herself in the
He then took her to a McDonald’s where he ordered her a Happy Meal with extra fries
mirror. Since her birthday was not far off he asked what she’d like to have for her
and a chocolate shake.
Birthday.
Then it was off to a movie, popcorn, a soda pop, and her favorite candy, M&M’s. What
‘I’d like to be six again’, she replied, still looking in the mirror.
a fabulous adventure! Finally she wobbled home with her husband and collapsed into
On the morning of her Birthday, he arose early, made her a nice big bowl of Lucky
bed exhausted. He leaned over his wife with a big smile and lovingly asked, ‘Well Dear,
Charms, and then took her to Six Flags theme park. What a day!
what was it like being six again??’
He put her on every ride in the park; the Death Slide, the Wall of Fear, the Screaming
Her eyes slowly opened and her expression suddenly changed. ‘Sweetie, I was talking
Monster Roller Coaster, everything there was. Five hours later they staggered out of
about my dress size.’
the theme park. Her head was reeling and her stomach felt upside down.
The moral of the story: Even when a man is listening, he’s gonna get it wrong.
Leading the Way
in Comfort
Specializing In
In-Floor Radiant Heating
Geothermal Heating and Cooling
Carrier Central Heating and Cooling
ALSO OFFERING THE BEST IN:
Hydronic Baseboard t Domestic Hot Water
Ice & Snow Melt t Gas Furnaces
Air Conditioning t Heat Pumps
Whole House Hepa Filtration t The Perfect Window
130 E. Ainsley
Hale, MI 48739
(989) 728-5955
(877) 879-8726
Visit Us at www.colvinsheating.com
Lem: ‘’I got fired
from my job as a
bank guard.’’
Clem: ‘’That’s awful.
What happened?’’
Lem: ‘’Well a thief
came in to rob a bank.
I drew my gun. I told
him that if he took
one more step, I’d
let him have it.’’
Clem: ‘’What did the
thief do then?’’
Lem: ‘’He took one
more step so I let
him have it. I didn’t
want that stupid gun
anyhow!’’
18
n
Burton’s Last Resort
9027 W. Long Lake, Alpena ~ (989) 595-6300
If you had all the money your heart
desires?
St. Patrick’s Day Party – Tuesday, March 17th
Corned Beef & Cabbage • Green Beer
If you had the most fabulous home in
the perfect neighborhood?
live entertainment 6:00-10:00pm
Traditional Irish Music with
If you had no worries?
If you came home to find a gourmet
meal prepared for you?
corduroy roads
If you bathwater had been run for
you?
Lentin Specials
If you had the perfect kids?
Perch • Bluegill • Fresh Whitefish • Cod
If your partner was awaiting you with
open arms and kisses?
Our Thanks to Thunder Bay Chrysler-Jeep-Dodge and Losinski’s Excavating &
Septic Tank Inc. for Their Support of Our Annual Pig Roast & Tent Party!
Where would you be?
Snowmobilers Welcomed & Encouraged
Hello...you’d be in the wrong house!
0% on most models up to 48 months
+ rebates up to $5,000.
+ employee price for everyone!
2009 dodge ram crew 4x4 big horn
2009 jeep liberty sport 4x4
V-6, auto, air, alloys, power windows & locks, tilt, fog lamps, cruise & more!
EVERYONE
LEASE $
MO.
39 MONTHS
SAVE
$7,351
319
$999 TOTAL DUE
chrylser
employees
$289 month
22
MPG
Telling your wife you can’t get her a new car
and then buying a fishing boat is just never a
good idea...”
msrp $25,100
buy $21,745*
• everyone
$19,740*
PARTS & service hours:
Mon-Fri 7am-6pm;
Sat 9am-1pm
SALES HOURS:
Mon-Fri 8:30-6pm;
Sat 9am-1pm
OVER 50 USED CARS IN
Excavating and Septic Tank Inc.
• Topsoil, Sand, Gravel,
Drain Stone
• Wildlife & Irrigation Ponds
Digging
the Alpena
Area Since
1962
• Basements, Driveways, Site
Work
• Residential and Commercial
• Land Clearing, Demolitions
• Stump and Tree Removal
Owned & Operated by Perry & Kelly Losinski
5281 U.S. 23 North • Alpena, MI 49707
Phone: (989) 356-1151 • Fax: (989) 358-8503
While proudly showing off his new apartment to friends late one night, the
drunk led the way to his bedroom where there was a big brass gong.
“What’s that big brass gong for?” one of the guests asked.
“Why, that’s the talking clock,” the man replied.
“How does it work?”
“Watch,” the man said, giving it an ear-shattering pound with a hammer.
Suddenly, someone on the other side of the wall screamed, “Knock it off, you
moron, it’s 2 o’clock in the morning!!!”
Glennie Party Store
Home of the Beer Den
A Great Variety of Ice-Cold Domestic & Import Beer
Liquor * Lotto * Cigarettes * Snacks * Sodas * Videos
Bait & Tackle
3289 State Rd.(M65) in Glennie
989-735-2156
“My apartment was
robbed and everything
was replaced with
exact replicas...I told
my roommate and he
said ‘Do I know you?’”
– Steven Wright
STOCK
msrp $40,040
$
buy 39,982*
• everyone
$28,482*
• current customer
$18,995** save up to
LOSINSKI
• Septic Tanks & System
Installations
20
MPG
full
4 door!
• current customer
• chrysler employee
just add tax!
Stk. #9055
832 w. chisholm st. • alpena
(989) 354-4154
1-800-489-2550
all departments open
saturday 9am - 1pm
20” wheels, Hemi, full power, remote start, tow package & more!
$12,683
$27,357**
Stk. #9038
• chrysler employee
just add tax!
nobody beats our
prices...guaranteed
*See Dealer for Details.
*Must have current Chrysler lease to
qualify for lease price
**Must qualify for Chrysler Employee
Discount and own/lease
See all of our New & Used Inventory,
Chrysler product to qualify.
Discount Coupons, Schedule Service, and ALL REBATES TO DEALER
Buy Parts on thunderbaychrysler.com
Expires 2/28/09 at 1:00pm
A cowboy, who is visiting Wyoming from Texas , walks into a
bar and orders three mugs of beer.
He sits in the back of the room, drinking a sip out of each
one in turn.
When he finishes them, he comes back to the bar and orders
three more.
The bartender approaches and tells the cowboy, ‘You know,
a mug goes flat after I draw it. It would taste better if you
bought one at a time.’
The cowboy replies, ‘Well, you see, I have two brothers. One
is in Arizona , the other is in Colorado .
When we all left our home in Texas , we promised that
we’d drink this way to remember the days when we drank
together.
So I’m drinking one beer for each of my brothers and one
for myself.’
The bartender admits that this is a nice custom, and leaves it
there.
The cowboy becomes a regular in the bar, and always drinks
the same way.
He orders three mugs and drinks them in turn.
One day, he comes in and only orders two mugs. All the
regulars take notice and fall silent.
When he comes back to the bar for the second round, the
bartender says, ‘I don’t want to intrude on your grief, but I
wanted to offer my condolences on your
loss.’
The cowboy looks quite puzzled for a
moment, then a light dawns in his eyes
and he laughs. ‘Oh, no, everybody’s just
fine, ‘ he explains, ‘It’s just that my wife
and I joined the church and I had to quit
drinking.’
‘Hasn’t affected my brothers though.’
“Now they show you how detergents take out
bloodstains, a pretty violent image there. I
think if you’ve got a T-shirt with a bloodstain
all over it, maybe laundry isn’t your biggest
problem. Maybe you should get rid of the body
before you do the wash.”
– Jerry Seinfeld
Tammy’s
Collectibles
and Fabulous Finds
Winter Hours:
Mon-Sat
10:30am-5pm
Closed Wed
WILSON’S
Located inside
Fabulous Finds
(Bruggar’s Plaza)
310 W. Lake St.
Tawas City
989-362-5165
CHEESE
SHOPPE
“michigan’s oldest”
Since
1939
mild, aged, & fancy cheeses
Game Meat Sticks * Game Jerky
Liquor * Fine Wines
Cheese Trays * Gift Boxes
T-Shirts & Souvenirs
Mail Orders
OPEN 7 DAYS A WEEK
M‑13, PINCONNING
1-800-CHEESE5
Order Online www.wilsoncheese.com
TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped
down his father’s cherry tree, but also admitted it.
Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn’t punish
him?
LOUIS: Because George still had the axe in his hand.
“Darwin” Awards
PART TWO - THE GRAND PRIZE
ATTORNEY: What was the first
thing your husband said to you
that morning?
WITNESS: He said, “Where am
I, Cathy?”
ATTORNEY: And why did that
upset you?
WITNESS: My name is Susan!
_________________
ATTORNEY: What gear were
you in at the moment of the
impact?
WITNESS: Gucci sweats and
Reeboks.
_________________
ATTORNEY: This myasthenia
gravis, does it affect your
memory at all?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And in what ways
does it affect your memory?
WITNESS: I forget.
ATTORNEY: You forget? Can
you give us an example of
something you forgot?
________________
ATTORNEY: Do you know if
your daughter has ever been
involved in voodoo?
WITNESS: We both do.
ATTORNEY: Voodoo?
WITNESS: We do.
ATTORNEY: You do?
WITNESS: Yes, voodoo.
__________________
19
n
LARRY'S
PARTS HAUS
(Corner of US-23 and Nicholson Hill Road)
Ossineke, 989-471-2911 • 888-471-2911
Open Monday thru Friday, 8 a.m. to 6 p.m.
Saturday 9 a.m. to 3 p.m.
See your local Car Quest store for a
complete selection of Agricultural
& Heavy
Equipment
Your
Complete
HealthBatteries
Food Store!
and
Filters
Get
your
equipment
402 Lake Street
ready
for cold weather.
Tawas City,
MI 48763
989-362-4371
WE
MAKE
6 & 12 VOLT
Marbie’s Nutrition
Hours:
Monday-Friday 10am - 5:30pm
Saturday 10am-5pm
HYDRAULIC
HOSES,
MACHINE
DRUMS
4262 River Road
AND
ROTORS
Oscoda,
MI 48750
(989) 739-4382
Fax: (989) 739-3849
Mon-Fri 8am-5pm
Sat 8am-Noon
BATTERIES
(MOST STYLES)
FOR FARM &
INDUSTRIAL
EQUIPMENT
NORTHERN
TRUCK
AND AUTO
REPAIR
In George Washington’s days, there were no cameras.
One’s image was either sculpted or painted. Some
The Arizona Highway Patrol came upon a pile of smoldering
paintings
of George Washington showed him standing
metal embedded in the side of a cliff rising above the road
behind a desk with one arm behind his back while others
at the apex of a curve. The wreckage resembled the site
showed both legs and both arms. Prices charged by
of an airplane crash, but it was a car. The type of car was
painters were not based on how many people were to
unidentifiable at the scene. Police investigators finally pieced
be painted, but by how many limbs were to be painted.
together the mystery. An amateur rocket scientist.... had
somehow gotten hold of a JATO unit (Jet Assisted Take Off,
Arms and legs are ‘limbs,’ therefore painting them would
actually a solid fuel rocket) that is used to give heavy military ATTORNEY: The youngest son, cost the buyer more. Hence the expression, ‘Okay, but it’ll
the twenty-year-old, how old
transport planes an extra ‘push’ for taking off from short
cost you an arm and a leg.’
is he?
airfields.
WITNESS: He’s twenty, much
He had driven his Chevy Impala out into the desert and
like your IQ.
screen printing
embroidery
found a long, straight stretch of road. He attached the JATO
________________
unit to the car, jumped in, got up some speed and fired off
the JATO!
The JATO, if operating properly, would have reached
maximum thrust within 5 seconds, causing the Chevy to
reach speeds well in excess of 350 mph and continuing at
full power for an additional 20 -25 seconds.
The driver, and soon to be pilot, would have experienced
G-forces usually reserved for dog fighting F-14 jocks under
full afterburners, causing him to become irrelevant for the
remainder of the event.
However, the automobile remained on the straight highway
for about 2.5 miles (15-20 seconds) before the driver
applied and completely melted the brakes, blowing the tires
and leaving thick rubber marks on the road surface, then
becoming airborne for an additional 1.4 miles and impacting
the cliff face at a height of 125 feet leaving a blackened
crater 3 feet deep in the rock. Most of the driver’s remains
were not recoverable.
ATTORNEY: She had three
children, right?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: How many were
boys?
WITNESS: None.
ATTORNEY: Were there any
girls?
WITNESS: Your Honor, I think I
need a different attorney.
Can I get a new
attorney?
_________________
ATTORNEY: How was your
first marriage terminated?
WITNESS: By death.
ATTORNEY: And by whose
death was it terminated?
WITNESS: Take a guess.
_________________
ATTORNEY: Can you describe
the individual?
However, small fragments of bone, teeth and hair were
WITNESS: He was about
extracted from the crater, and fingernail and bone shards
medium height and had a
were removed from a piece of debris believed to be a portion
beard.
of the steering wheel.
ATTORNEY: Was this a male or
a female?
Epilogue: It has been calculated that the car attained a
WITNESS: Unless the Circus
ground speed of approximately 420 mph, though much of his
was in town I’m going with
male.
voyage was not actually on the ground.
New Sun Dresses
designer sunglasses
new merchandise
arriving all the time!
NEW LOCATION:
133 N. State St, Alpena - Harborside Mall • 989-354-4400
www.inksettersgraphicdesign.com
body & mind gifts body jewelry
The facts as best as could be determined are that the
operator of the 1967 Impala hit the JATO ignition at a
distance of approximately 3.0 miles from the crash site. This
was established by the scorched and melted asphalt at that
location.
ATTORNEY: Were you present
when your picture was taken?
WITNESS: Are you kidding me?
_______________
incense oils handbags
ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn’t
it true that when a person dies
in his sleep, he doesn’t know
about it until the next morning?
WITNESS: Did you actually
pass the bar exam?
_________
A-1 Woods & Waters
Portable Ice Shanties & Minnows
All Hunting and Fishing Licenses
Live Bait * Carhartt Clothing
Rifles * Handguns * Ammo
Now
Featuring
Ladies
Carhartt
742-3878
OPEN 7 DAYS
141 North State St. • Hillman
Visit Us at www.a1woodsandwaters.com
By appointment
Walk ins welcome
gift certificates available
“Providing a full line of beauty services from head to toe”
20
n
find us online
they supply
For the Most “REALICIOUS” Properties in Northeast
Michigan, See the Real Estate Professionals at
Heritage
House
Realty
(989) 724-5800
1-800-982-0102
Fax: (989) 724-6656
ALCONA HUMANE SOCIETY PETS OF THE MONTH
“Tiger”
[email protected]
Here since October.
Adult male. Obedient
& smart. Very gentle
with other dogs.
Loves his toys.
of Harrisville, Inc.
Larry Lyle
Owner/Broker
Betty Jo Lyle
Owner
OLD AND NEW
– A PLEASING
3
MIX!
Bedroom, 3
bath custom
home designed
to incorporate
original log home. Sunroom, FR, and
studio. Custom woodwork, fireplace
& Lake Huron frontage. $525,000
#087‑09‑0004
Louella Shellenbarger
Janene Lovelace
Connie Sysak
Wendy K. Reeves Richardson
234 S. Huron (US-23)
PO Box 572
Boaters, Charter Boats AHOY! Here is
a unique opportunity for 120’ of AuSable
Worry not! This 2 bedroom River frontage, six boat slips with newer
1 bath cedar log sided home, docks, a steel seawall AND a 2 to 3
with the amenities and location bedroom home and a detached garage
of a cottage, is in reality on 4.5 lots located between Harbor St.
a comfortable home near and First St. Access from either paved
Sturgeon Point Lighthouse with street. This is a versatile property for
deeded access to Lake Huron. boaters;expand on what it offers now, or
Location and Quality ~ Priced at consider it a building site on the AuSable.
$159,900 #087-07-0035
$129,900.
This unique custom built home is
located on 10 partially wooded acres
within sight of Logger’s Trace & Springport
Golf Courses. The attractive rolling terrain
of the adjoining properties lend to the
feeling of a comfortable country setting. 3
bedrooms with the possibilty of two more,
3 baths, 10x28 sun room and an att. 2 car
garage. Also includes a 20x50 utility bldg/
garage with 18x14 workshop and a 20x24
pole barn/shed. $154,900 #087‑07‑0037
Visit Us at www.heritageharrisville.com
“Solomon”
3 Month old puppy. A
little shy but very sweet
temperament.
Northland Comfortemp, LLC
Heating
Air Conditioning
Service & Installation
Joe Whitten
Carl Walker
989-362-TEMP (8367)
1-877-281-HEAT (4328)
Licensed & Insured
“Kittens”
Grey 3 month old
“Bailey,” sweet male.
And “Camden,” grey
tiger, very sweet and
cuddly.
MARCH 22nd - CRITTER BOWL at Village Lanes in Harrisville,
benefitting Alcona Humane Society.
Bathing Services: $15.00 • You Bathe Them: $10.00
Volunteer Time at the Shelter! 1 or 2 Hours a week will help immensely!
Please call us at 736-PETS for more information.
Please Help! – Donations Needed for Food, Blankets, Litter, Toys, etc.
“I Rescued a Human Today”
Her eyes met mine as she walked down the
corridor
peering apprehensively into the kennels.
I felt her need instantly and knew I had to help
her.
I wagged my tail, not too exuberantly, so she
wouldn’t be afraid.
As she stopped at my kennel I blocked her view
from a little accident
I had in the back of my cage.
I didn’t want her to know that I hadn’t been
walked today.
Sometimes the shelter keepers get too busy and I
didn’t want her to think poorly of them.
As she read my kennel card I hoped that she
wouldn’t feel sad about my past.
I only have the future to look forward to and want
to make
a difference in someone’s life.
She got down on her knees and made little kissy
sounds at me.
I shoved my shoulder and side of my head up
against the bars to comfort her.
Gentle fingertips caressed my neck; she was
desperate for companionship.
A tear fell down her cheek and I raised my paw to
assure her that all would be well.
Soon my kennel door opened and her smile was
so bright that I instantly jumped into her arms.
I would promise to keep her safe.
I would promise to always be by her side.
I would promise to do everything I could to see
that radiant smile and sparkle in her eyes.
I was so fortunate that she came down my
corridor.
So many more are out
there who haven’t walked
the corridors.
So many more to be
saved.
At least I could save one.
I rescued a human today.
“Bama”
5 Month old neutered
male, very playful, loves
people.
The Only Video Store on US‑23 Between Oscoda & Alpena
Harbor Video
& Tanning
$35 for 10 Tanning Visits
USED DVD’s $5.00 EACH
Gift Certificates Available
Sun-Thur 2pm to 8pm • Fri/Sat 2pm to 9pm
100 N. State St. • Harrisville, MI
Phone (989) 724-5577
Rent 1 New
Release,
Get 1 Free
From select titles
Answers on page 23
A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom
of children while they were drawing. She would
1. “You better drink
this. Soon you won’t
occasionally walk around to see each child’s work.
be able to swallow and
As she got to one little girl who was working diligently,
then you’ll be completely
she asked what the drawing was.
buggered.”
The girl replied, ‘I’m drawing God.’
The
teacher
paused and said, ‘But no one knows what
2. “Do we have the
capacity to make fire?
God looks like.’
Most humans have
Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing,
enjoyed that privilege
the girl replied, ‘They will in a minute.’
since the stone age.”
3. “Is that before or after
you realized you were
standing in a lake of
gasoline!?!”
M & S Antique Center
4. “You sit there in that
pathetic excuse for an
office, reporting gossip,
while under your very
nose, evil is doing its
worst.”
Glassware, Home Décor, Books,
Consigment
Space
Furniture & More
Available
Great Easter Gifts
Remote Control Cars & Planes
5. “If I could have only
one food for the rest of
my life, thats easy, Pez,
cherry flavored Pez.”
6. “That bad crab, only
you tried to take it.
Everybody else want best
quality. You took worst,
because you have best
quality heart. You have
style no one can teach.
Must be born this way.”
7. “I think you are a sexist
misogynist dinosaur, a
relic from the Cold War.”
8. “I was the intellectual
equivalent of a 98-pound
weakling. I would go to
the beach and people
would kick copies of
Byron in my face.”
210 S. Second Street, Lincoln • (989) 657-2729
ATTENTION: Come in and See Our
Expanded Antique & Collectible Mini-Mall
Something for Everyone! Open Wed-Sat Noon-8pm
from page 5
n
21
Check out new listings with land contract terms
224 W. Washington Ave., Alpena, MI 49707
(989) 356-2756 • Cell (989) 657-2870
Fax: 810-519-1797
www.SunriseSide.com
We Use Creative Financing and Will Consider Taking Cars, Boats, Trucks,
Tractors, Motorcycles, etc. for Your Down Payment
This great manufactured city home
has vaulted ceilings throughout There
is a sliding door that opens to a deck
in the backyard off the dining room.
The kitchen has a wet bar looking into
the dining room. This house has an
open living area that includes the living
room, dining room and the kitchen.
There is a 28x24 2-car detached garage
with an asphalt driveway. $84,900
MLS#281185
110 Acres off Hamilton Rd at $900
an Acre! Build a camp for your
friends and family for years to come.
Enjoy hunting and seclusion right
outof town! $99,000 MLS#281090
Gorgeous 100 ft lot with Long Lake
frontage. This 2 story log cabin can be used
as a summer or year round home has many
new upgrades. Log siding, fireplace on
main floor, large wraparound deck to view
great sunsets. $159,999 MLS#280698
Live the good life! 36 acres with lots
of waterfrontage! This parcel has everything
that a outdoors person could ask for hunting, fishing and relaxing! $110,000
RMLS#280322
This Beautiful 75.72 Acres of farm land
has nice high ground pasture with alfalfa.
There is a nice balance between land and
fields with the 22 acres of nice hard woods.
Land has 3 Barns included on the property
which include a 72 ft x 48 ft Horse barn with
5 stalls, 40 ft x 48 ft Pole Barn with 12 ft high
walls, and a 26 ft x 16 ft Run in pasture Barn
open to the south. The House Barn is great
for wintering of horses or cattle. This is a
Great Farm to start you new farm operation
it is all set up to run all you have to do is add
the house!! $120,000 MLS#281147
This 40 acres of wonderful hunting land in
Presque Isle County is just outside Rogers
City. It includes a spacious Camp that will
sleep 6-8 with new concrete foundation
completed in 2007, septic, toilet, gas lights
and outside generator for electric. Inside
wired for full electric which needs to be
hooked up. Land has spruce, pine, cedar,
poplar and other hard wood trees that
make it great for hunting deer, turkey and
other small game. There are hunting blinds
already on land. The trout river is nearby.
This is a great deer camp, ready to go!
$99,900 MLS#281004
Beautiful home in the heart of woods in
Atlanta. Open ranch floor plan. All the comforts
of Northern Michigan. Remodeled in 1998 and
finished in 2000. Washer and dryer in closet.
Dishwasher in kitchen. Vaulted Ceiling in
Living Room. Jacuzzi Room. Large enclosed
porch with sliding glass door looking to the
back of property. Tongue and groove pine
throughout home. $95,000 RMLS#281000
This lovely 2 story gambrel style home built in 1995
has a main floor master bedroom with a spacious full
bath that has a whirlpool tub. Kitchen /dining room
combo has oak cabinets. Main floor has a mud room
with a food pantry. Large living room has a gas log
fireplace with marble accents. Two bedrooms with a
3/4 bath upstairs. This home is located 12 miles from
the city on a paved road with 38.65 acres for hunting
and 150 x 300 pond. There is a 3 car detached
garage and an additional 8 x 12 shed. There is a
40 x 64 pole barn that has electricity with a cement
floor and 12 doors. You can own your own business
and enjoy this lovely home with acreage that you can
hunt and fish on. $163,000 MLS#280883
This is 80 acres of secluded hunting land
with the best hunting you will enjoy. There is
lots of cedar, spruce and mature pine trees.
There are lots of bear tracks along with
deer tracks, buck scrapes and rubs. This 80
acres borders over 3800 acres of state land.
$85,000 MLS#280971
REPO’d
A Great view of Lake Huron while sitting on the deck,
in the living room or in the dining room you can enjoy the
200 ft of Lake Huron Shoreline with a wonderful view. This
large 4 bedroom 3 bath ranch home at a convenient South
of Alpena location with city water. Seller will pay $5000.00
towards FHA Loan closing costs at the time of the closing.
Great financing available. $169,900 MLS#280696
HUD Homes
$
100
down
• 30-year mortgage
• market rate %
• $2500 to you at closing!
This Beautiful Home is ready for
you to move into. There is new
paint throughout, tile in the master
bathroom and hardwood flooring
in the kitchen. The living room has
nice berber carpeting. This home
also has central air and a fenced in
backyard. $82,500 MLS#281347
REPO’d
HUD Homes
Want 101.6 feet on Long Lake? This
beautiful Lot with small pebbled beach has
has a great view of Long Lake as well as
a nice Shoreline with no weeds. It’s up to
you. The lot is split zoned making the US 23
side of lot zoned commercial and lake side
zoned residential/recreational. (Note: well
& septic not done). If more lake frontage
is desired, see MLS 280995. $159,900
MLS#280994
REPO’d
HUD Homes
$
100
down
• market rate %
Great Hunting Parcel! 59 acres with ridges,
fields, swamp and hardwoods making it
perfect deer hunting. A double wide mobile
home sits on this property for a camp with a
pond behind the camp. The camp has well,
septic, and power and is only 14 minutes
from Alpena. A 10’ x 12’ barn provides
extra storage. There is a good mixture of
fields, swamp and woods. Bean Creek
tributaries throughout the property. Minerals
are included with this sale. $109,900
MLS#281025
down
$
100
For a list of
This beautiful 2 story, 3 bedroom, 2 full bath
homes and complete
home with a paveddetails
driveway is on lovely and
quiet Beaver Lake with 50 feet of sandy beach
call 800-497-2782
ext.
1074
frontage with a beautiful
view of the sunrise.
Special features
of this356-2756
home include a fireplace
Sunrise Side Realty
(989)
in the living room, bay windows overlooking
the lake, large cedar lined walk-in closet in the
or (989) 657-2870
master bedroom, new carpet throughout, deck
off of the living room and a large treed yard to
Free F.H.A. Loan pre‑Approvals
100’s
enjoy. There is a large 2 and
car attached
garage
Nice one acre parcel located about 5 miles with an asphalt driveway. There is also a 12 x
of
new
FHA
approved
listings
to
view.
from Alpena. Nice country setting with lots of 12 storage shed to store all of you lake toys and
room to build. $20,000 MLS#280329
• market rate %
• $2500 to you at closing!
For a list of
homes and complete details
call 800-497-2782 ext. 1074
Sunrise Side Realty (989) 356-2756
or (989) 657-2870
Free F.H.A. Loan pre‑Approvals and 100’s
of new FHA approved listings to view.
Free Appointment & Consultation.
DON’T LOSE YOUR HOME!
STOP FORECLOSURE!
lawn care equipment. $249,900 MLS#281001
Free Appointment
& Consultation.
DON’T LOSE YOUR HOME!
STOP FORECLOSURE!
Sell it on a Short Sale before it’s too late.
Guaranteed to sell in this market for it’s
real value. Visit www.sunriseside.com and
read all about it or call Alan (989) 356-2756
BEFORE IT’S
BEFORE
IT’S TOO
TOO LATE!
LATE!
SELL
YOUR CREDIT!
CREDIT!
SELLIT
IT &
& PRESERVE
PRESERVE YOUR
FREE APPOINTMENT
22
n
All Roads Lead to...
1554 US-23 • East Tawas, MI
(989) 362-2910
800-362-4075
Answer on on page 24
INCREDIBLE CLOSEOUT PRICING &
great deals on 2009 mODELS!!!
2009 Jayco 26BH
MSRP $18,136
SALE PRICE
$13,900
2007 Eagle Fifth Wheel
Model 299RLS
Original Price $39,101
CLOSEOUT PRICING
$26,900
Visit Us Online at www.JaysRV.com
TIRES-BRAKES-STRUTS-ALIGNMENTS
Custom wheels•Motorcycle tires•Lawn & garden tires
OPEN WEEKDAYS 8am-6pm, Closed Sat/Sun
(989) 739-2039
We accept
Mike Allen
Owner
5115 N. US 23
Oscoda,
Michigan
TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a person
who keeps on talking when people are no longer
interested?
HAROLD: A teacher
Lee’s
Small Engine Repair
ATV’s • Mopeds • Weed Trimmers • Tractors
time to get your atv’s and lawn equipment ready for spring!
Drop-off’s
Welcome!
27 Years Experience
Call (989) 747-0799
5678 N. F‑41, Oscoda
Your Cash Connection
The Coin Connection, Inc.
We Buy and Sell U.S.
Coins and Currency,
Gold and Silver Boullion
Hours: Monday-Friday 10am to 6pm, Saturday 10am to 3pm
5103 North US23, Oscoda, MI 48750
In Little Caesar’s Plaza
M
(989) 739-3900
We Buy and Sell Coins • Coin Supplies • Free Appraisals
ikado
ARKET
Fresh
Cut
Meats
Open 8am-8pm 7 Days a Week
Hot
Homemade
Pizzas
Now Serving Lunch, Burgers, Strips, Poppers,
Homemade Soups and More Daily at 11am
Pizza, Subs - Sandwiches - Jerky - Sausage
Home Smoked Meats - Fresh Baked Bread
$1.00 Greeting Cards - DVD Rentals
We accept VISA, MasterCard, Bridge Cards, and WIC
2276 F-41, Mikado • 989-736-3066
USEFUL TIP
PUT YOUR CAR KEYS BESIDE
YOUR BED AT NIGHT
Put your car keys beside your
bed at night. If you hear a noise
outside your home or someone
trying to get in your house, just
press the panic button for your
car. The alarm will be set off, and
the horn will continue to sound
until either you turn it off or the car
battery dies.
This tip came from a
neighborhood watch coordinator.
Next time you come home for the
night and you start to put your
keys away, think of this:
It’s a security alarm system that
you probably already have and
requires no installation. Test it. It
will go off from most everywhere
inside your house and will keep
honking until your battery runs
down or until you reset it with the
button on the key fob chain. It
works if you park in your driveway
or garage. If your car alarm goes
off when someone is trying to
break into your house, odds are
the burglar rapist won’t stick
around... After a few seconds
all the neighbors will be looking
out their windows to see who is
out there and sure enough the
criminal won’t want that. And
remember to carry your keys
while walking to your car in a
parking lot. The alarm can work
the same way there..... This is
something that should really be
shared with everyone. It could
save a life or a stop a crime.
This would also be useful in any
emergency, like a fall or a heart
attack where you can’t reach a
phone. Someone suggested that
people carry their car keys with
them when they’re outside in case
they fall. A spouse or neighbor
might not hear you yell, but they’ll
hear the alarm and know there’s a
problem.
HAWG’S
Bait, Tackle & Marine
OUR
BAIT IS
GUARANTEED TO
CATCH FISH
OR DIE
TRYING!!
LIVE NUDE
SWIMMERS
Get Your Shiner Minnows Here!
Live Bait & Tackle a Perch Shiners
Walleye Minnows a Goldies a Decoys a Waxies
Mousies a Spikes a Wigglers a Suckers
Marine Supplies
Mon-Sat 7am-5pm, Sun 7:00am-2:30pm
N E W L O C AT I O N :
(989) 362-2882
1132 Lake st. (US-23)
Tawas City
Visit Us at www.hawgsbaitandtackle.com
For the Kids
“Weather”
131 Newman St.
East Tawas, MI 48730
(989) 362-3766
Behringer
Guitar Amplifiers
Pro Audio and
PA Systems
Tube Amps
Guitar Hot Rodding
and Repair...Amps Too!
Super Sustainer
Guitars
Drum Sale
Complete Package
Incl. Cymbals & Hardware
Unscramble the
Words
“Things from a Tool Box”
Kids Recipe
Kids activities should always be supervised
by an adult.
1. LIDRL____________________
WHAT YOU NEED:
2. MHREAM__________________
1 can (about 355 mL) frozen limeade
concentrate, pre-thawed
1 quart lime sherbet
2 liters 7-UP or Sprite
About 4 cups crushed ice
3. vlele____________________
4. risevrwcrde____________
5. tfhgsllaih______________
6. inasl____________________
7. nhrwec_________________
8. iseplr___________________
9. cwhsaka________________
10. shweasr_______________
HOW TO MAKE THEM:
1. In a large mixing bowl or punch bowl,
stir together the limeade concentrate
and the lime sherbet.
2. Add the lemon-lime beverage and
the crushed ice and serve immediately.
3. If you don’t want to serve the punch
right away, refrigerate the mixture of
limeade and sherbet until just before
serving time. Add the 7-UP or Sprite
and crushed ice at the
last possible moment.
The kids can get involved
by stirring together the
ingredients.
1. drill, 2. hammer, 3. level,
4. screwdriver, 5. flashlight,
6. nails, 7. wrench, 8. pliers,
9. hacksaw, 10. washers
After starting my new diet I altered my drive to work to avoid passing my
favorite bakery. I accidentally drove by the bakery this morning and as I
approached, there in the window were a host of goodies. I felt this was no
accident, so I prayed ... “Lord, it’s up to you. If you want me to have any of
those delicious goodies, create a parking place for me directly in front of the
bakery.” And sure enough, on the eighth time around the block, there it was!
God is so Good!
:: BREAKING NEWS ::
In 2009 the
government will
start deporting all
the insane people. I
started crying when I
thought of you.
Run my little crazy
friend, run!
ANSWERS TO
“GUESS THE MOVIE
QUOTES”
Floyd Rose
Tremolo
Systems,
Parts & Accessories
LIGHTNING
RAIN
SLEET
SNOW
STORM
SUNNY
THUNDER
TORNADO
WINDY
St. Patrick’s Day Shakes
BRIAN ANKNER
Now Located in Alpena Mall
989-766-0048
Hours: Mon-Sat, 10am-8pm
Sundays Noon-5pm
candle company
Kevin & Kendalee LaPorte
[email protected]
Gordon’s
f
Full Lineinog
Ice Fish
Gear
Hunting
& ORV
Licenses
BAIT & TACKLE
Minnows w Spikes w Waxworms w Mousies w Wigglers
Pop w Snacks wCampfire Wood wCorn & Hay
OPEN 7 DAYS • Daylight to Dark - Just Stop In!
6075 N. M‑65, Glennie at the AuSable River & Five Channels Dam
(989) 728-2248
“I think it’s wrong that only one company makes the game Monopoly”
– Steven Wright
NEDO’S FARM MARKET
Premium Dog
& Cat Foods
Specialty
Feeds by
Order
Plugs &
Oil for
Snowmobiles
4686 F-41, Mikado, MI 48745
Your Full Service Market
Sun-Wed 9am-8pm • Thurs 9am-9pm • Fri/Sat 9am-10pm
Specializing in • Fresh Produce
Convenience Foods • Hardware • Beer • Wine
Liquor • Lotto • Pet Supplies • Wildlife Feed
Ice Fishing Supplies • Bulk Bird Feed
We Accept Visa &
Master Card
Spring
Beer
Specials
2nd cut hay
Phone/Fax
(989) 736-6649
Wayne & Marta Nedo
proprietors
My Glass Wings
Custom Stained Glass
Design and Fabrication
Repairs * Art Glass Supply
Classes...Open Enrollment
Gifts of Glass, Keepsakes or Classes for You & Your Family
Saturday Suncatchers • Walk-in Classes
Class Starts at 1:00pm • $12.50 - Includes supplies
Call for Availability and Age Details
Visit us at www.myglasswings.com
e-mail: [email protected]
Phone 989-358-9464
Custom
ReUpholstery
All Work Done in Smoke
Free Shop!
201 S. Second St.
Lincoln, MI
1-989-736-7467
Johnrowe Building
106 Second Ave, Alpena
WANTED:
Are you looking for retail, work or classroom space?
My Glass Wings Stained Glass Studio in Alpena’s downtown
arts district is offering to share a large,
historic building on 2nd Avenue. A great foot traffic location.
Call Tina at 989-358-9464 for more information.
CUSTOM HOMES • REMODELING • POLE BARNS
GARAGES • CONCRETE
Salon & Tanning
from page 20
1. Minority Report, 2. Alien3,
3. Backdraft,
4. The Witches of Eastwick,
5. Stand By Me,
6. The Joy Luck Club,
7. Goldeneye,
8. Dead Poets Society
23
Cymbals
Word Search
BLIZZARD
CLOUDS
COLD
DRIZZLE
FOG
FREEZE
FROST
HAIL
HOT
ICE
n
Kel Stone, Builders, Inc.
STATE LICENSED
2812 Mill Station Rd.
HALE, MI 48739
Phone/Fax (989) 728-2414
Cell (989) 218-1115
$10
A FULL PEDICURE
00 OFF Regular
Price $35
Bring or Mention This Ad • Expires 4/30/09
989.356.0918
50% OFF A Bottle of Lotion
with Purchase of Any Tanning Package
Two New Beds!
Bring or Mention This Ad • Expires 4/30/09
424 N. 2nd Ave, Alpena, MI 49707
24
n
find us online
they supply
Carroll Broadcasting
Northeast Michigan Listens!
24 Hours a Day!
7 Days a Week!
If you own a business or service
94.9
in Northeast Michigan, why not
Market and Advertise on a Carroll
Broadcasting Station. it’s Effective,
affordable and gets result’s!
Call 1-800-585-3515
“I’ve circled the block for 20 minutes. I’m late for an
appointment, and if I don’t park here I’ll lose my job.
Forgive us our trespasses.”
Returning, she came back only to find a parking
ticket and this note:
“I’ve circled the block for 20 years, and if I don’t
give you a ticket, I’ll lose my job... Lead us not into
temptation.”
Answer to Crossword
from page 22
Sponsored by
Call 1-800-BUY-GLOE
-- Mark Twain
“A lie can travel half way around
the world while the truth is just
putting on its shoes.”
for All Your Office Equipment Solutions
We Would
LOVE Some
of Your
Business!
– Phyllis Diller
A driver parked in a no-parking zone, tucked a note
under the windshield wiper of her car, and dashed
off:
“You want to look younger?
Rent smaller children.”
ABC News
Local News
Paul Harvey
Nascar
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Do You Need to Buy
or Sell a Home?
Call Scott Smith
430 S. US-23
Cell (989) 820-4210
Office (989) 724-5711
Fax (989) 724-6833
e-mail: [email protected]
Reduced
2-4 BEDROOM, 2 BATH BRICK RANCH - Large
country kitchen/dining room with built-in oven,
dishwasher, glass cook top, lots of cupboard space.
Spacious living room with picture window. Lots
of closet space. Two large bedrooms on the first
floor. Partially finished basement with additional 2
bedrooms and 3/4 bath plus cold room and extra
room for storage or office. 2 car attached garage
with openers and screen room on back of house.
Hot water baseboard heat. Updated electrical
service. Sits on a nice corner lot just minutes away
from schools and downtown Oscoda. Listed below
SEV. AGENT OWNED. NOW $85,000 R1302JH
Four heavily wooded lots. There currently
is a well and septic on the property but condition
is unknown. Seller will consider selling each lot
separately. $10,000 RMLS# 077-09-0011
Great Deals on
Lender-Owned Homes
This 3 bedroom, 1 bath tri-level home is in a great
location in town. The upper level has 3 bedrooms and 1 full
bathroom. The groud level has a living room, kitchen/dining room
combination with glass doors to back deck. The walk-out lower
level has a finished family room, another finished room, and a
laundry/equipment room. $59,900 RMLS# 077-08-0119
Great opportunity for the first time buyer or a 2nd home
get-away for someone to come up to this area to enjoy the year
around recreational sports. This 3 bedroom, 1 1/2 bath condo
includes a full unfinished basement and 1 car garage. The price
is right and it won’t last long. $31,000 RMLS# 077-09-0002
McCollum Lake Front. Priced to Sell Quick!!
1/4 log, 4 bedroom, 2.5 bath, 2 story, home with full
finished basement and 28 x 40 detached garage.
Property has approx 236 ft of frontage on McCollum
Lake. This home is in need of a kitchen, refinishing of
wood floors and some minor TLC. Being sold AS IS.
$230,000 RMLS# 077-09-0010

Come to Northeast Michigan and enjoy

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