Vilken slags katt är du?

 dBuggen
Dear Brothers and Sisters of the Meow, My honorable self will tell you about the time I escaped out the window and went on an adventure of epic proportions. There was always unimportant things occupying my human’s mind and they were not always me, much to my disdain. Having had enough of this disrespect, I went and sat on the window sill, pondering the horrors I had to face being a housecat in the richer part of the town, and in the edge of my vision I saw something. My head moved and my tail twitched, something was behaving a lot like string and soon my curiosity got the best of me. I jumped out of the window onto the floor and chased the string like thing that had by now escaped me. 10 minutes later I stopped my ferocious hunt and sat down gracefully, licking my paw so as to keep up my pristine appearance. Halfway through my careful grooming of said paw, I smelled something I recognized… It was the main source of my human’s disturbing diet, which occasionally had milk products which he denied me, and by the smell of it, it was pepperoni. I sauntered over and stared at a mountain of cardboard boxes from which came a cacophony of smells. I detected Capricosa, Vesuvio, Hawaii, something strange with banana and the heavenly signature smell of pizza with shrimp. One paw in front of the other, I leaped from one cardboard hill to a pizza­in­container tower. I hesitated for a moment before I started diving into heap of old pizza, swimming through the thrashed pizzas as my human went swimming for some yellow liquid which would make him lose his balance and awe for the godly me. He would also text the female human who once lived with her. I did not approve of their separation, she often brought me men who would pet me with a guilty look in their eyes. Silly humans did not realize that I understood that they could never perfectly serve me. But I digress. At long last I had the shrimp in my powerful jaws and after my belly was full and my fur dirty as never before, I began to turn home, unaware of the evil forces that were in my near future. Once I graced my human with my presence once again, he gave me an worried look that I dismissed as obvious concern for someone as wonderful as I. When he picked me up and I glared at him disapprovingly, he ignored me blatantly and began moving me to the kitchen. I meowed to tell him I was already full, and did not need his concern and he should fucking put me down before I clawed him. Before reaching the kitchen he opened the bathroom door and closed it. Aware of what was about to happen I prayed to Cthulhu and went berserk as hell descended upon me. Pizza was indeed the devil’s device, having put me in this unjust verdict. Perfectly Yours, Rubert the Ragdoll Cat Vilken slags katt är du? Är du den som markerar territoriet eller är du en bortskämd party­kisse? Svara på fem snabba frågor och ta reda på vilken typ av katt du är? Vad gör du på söndagarna? A Vilar i min kattsäng B Tar det lugnt efter en helg med festande C Går ut med min rottweiler D Kollar på eSport Vilken pizza? A Hawaii B Vesuvio C Calzone D Capricosa Vilken är din favoritmjölk? A Vispgrädde B Mellanmjölk C Opastöriserad mjölk D Lättmjölk Hur är din favorit människa? A Sover mycket, tittar gärna på serier B Leker med mig mycket C Gör exakt som jag säger D Har en varm dator Hur fixar du pälsen? A Vaddå fixar? B Bakåtslickad C Rakad D I människokläder Hawaii Katt ­ flest A Du tar det lugnt, låter livet flyta på och njuter av lyxen att inte göra något. Förutom att bli klappad, förstås. Vesuvio Katt – flest B Inget snöre eller laserpekare är för nog för dig. Du är den som alltid måste vara centrum av uppmärksamheten, även mitt på natten. Calzone Katt – flest C De andra katterna i området springer när du kommer gående. Även dina människor och hundar tar ett steg tillbaka efter de fått smaka på din klo. Capricosa Katt – flest D Det finns kattmat och sen finns det kattmat. Det är viktigt att få detaljerna rätt, du är trots allt en mycket smart och speciell katt. Som Catwoman. WE HAS HAD AN INTERVIEW WIF TEH PI­KAT CHU. IT WENT VRY WELL ALTHOUGH TEH KAT DID NOT RLY KNOE ANY OV TEH DECIMALS IN PI. INSTEAD HE RANDOMLY JUS SED NUMBERS AN CRID WHEN WE TOLD HIM HE WUZ WRONG. APPARENTLY HIS PARENTS HAD PUT UP WHOLE SHOW WUZ THEY MADE HIM BLEEV HE WUZ RLY GUD WIF NUMBERS BY LETTIN HIM WIN TEH COMPETISHUN. SINCE WE BROKE DIS BEAUTIFUL FACADE WE FELT RLY BAD AN WANTD 2 MAK UP 4 IT. THAZ WHEN WE CAME UP WIF TEH BRILLIANT IDEA 2 GO 2 TEH FOREST WIF HIM. DURIN R TIEM IN DA FOREST TEH PI­KAT CHU SUDDENLY GOT SKERD AN RAN AWAY FRUM US. WE STILL HAVENT MANAGD 2 FIND HIM BUT WE HAS HERD RUMOURS OV HIM BEAN PICKD UP BY SUM HITCHHIKR BY TEH NAYM OV AS