death by editors - The Corvallis Advocate
Transcription
death by editors - The Corvallis Advocate
The Corvallis Advocate Death. Dying. Dealing. Free Every Thursday I August 11-18, 2016 I www.corvallisadvocate.com = THOSE DAYS ONLY PIZZA CAN CURE. 541.754.9199 • 919 NW CIRCLE BLVD • CIRELLOSPIZZA.COM Dear Feet, I’ll make you comfortable. Love, Your Future Birkentocks from Footwise 301 SW Madison • Corvallis 541.757.0875 Mon-Sat 10-6 & Sun 11-5 2 | Corvallis Advocate Utterly inappropriate e r i t a S l a c o L s i l l Corva Announcing Laughing Loafer .com Also hate us on Law practiced thoughtfully, compassionately and carefully. “My commitment is to listen, to empower you with options, and consider not only your needs today, but also your interests over the long term.” The Corvallis Advocate August 11-18, 2016 Editor/Publisher Steven J. Schultz -Karen Misfeldt Attorney at Law Estate Planning Family Care Prenuptial Agreements (541)754-7477 Associate Editors Johnny Beaver Stevie Beisswanger 310 NW 7th Street • Corvallis Enroll Now! Kate McNutt Independent Kindergarten safe, beautiful, kid-friendly, unique Opening Fall 2016 Dear Families sroom/ fruition with an indoor clas Kindergarten has come to farm surrounds the e littl A Kate McNutt Independent io. stud art and ing, sion room, music room, projects with focus on read workshop, reading/discus sroom. Kinders will design clas r k doo wor out will an ne ng ryo udi Eve school, incl , and NATURE. drawing, building, science high-quality a : sive nclu i allbe writing, numeracy, art, line will ls; ion will be $650/ month and 6pm, if needed; all materia at his/her own pace. The tuit ; plus, afterschool care, 3to her teac h d fres nce of erie cks exp sna an 3 o); kindergarten, with ning piano, violin, cell sic lessons/practice (begin set up. Many field trips; instrumental mu school is beautiful and all The er. wat tled bot and ; day h eac stions. School les, que etab ask veg fruits and tour the school and olled. Please contact me to wonderful children are enr have 2 spaces available. starts September 7th. We Senior Writers Abbie Tumbleson Joel Hutton Staff Writers Kiki Genoa Anthony Vitale Kyra Blank John Burt Rob Goffins Sidney Reilly Tom Baker Intern Writers Kara Beu Kyle Bunnell Matthew Hunt Ariadne Wolf Maxine Agather Gina Pieracci Daniel Watkins What’s Inside This Week? 4 Linn-Benton Backwash; As the State Turns Design Bobbi Dickerson Calendar Nathan Hermanson General Manager 5 Editor Reflections of Death 6 Corvallis Death Cafe 7 Petextrian Death Trend 8 Exploring Natural Burial; Death by Numbers Melissa Spaulding-Ross 9 Sincerely, Kate McNutt Poetree Urn 11Calendar 13 8 Days Information: kmcik.tumblr.com I (541) 231-5624 Contact us: Box 2700, Corvallis, OR 97339 541.766.3675 | corvallisadvocate.com editor calendar story ideas ads } @corvallisadvocate.com The Corvallis Advocate is a free newsweekly with a very diverse staff that accepts materials from a number of sources, therefore it should be assumed that not all staff or even the majority of staff endorse all of our published materials. Submissions become the property of The Corvallis Advocate. We welcome submissions, but reserve the right to edit for clarity and length. Corvallis Advocate | 3 As the State Turns By Johnny Beaver Homeless Runaround, Fun with Bundys, Prison Pastimes, Feds Chop Weed Case By Johnny Beaver Linn-Benton Backwash D Poke Lures, Tunnels, and Car Chases, Oh My! o you feel like the intersection of Seven Mile Lane and Highway 34 needs a light? Congratulations, you’re like the other 100,000 people that feel the same way. I personally know of three people that nearly died in severe accidents there—three people that were far luckier than those who have died (you can’t scroll down in Google very far without finding an incident). The long overdue project is going to cost just over $950,000, which seems well worth it. Word on the street is that attendance to the Benton County Fair & Animal Roping Extravaganza is way up from last year—some sources are reporting as much as a 50% increase. Just think of how much it will increase next year once they have permits for putting LSD in the water supply. Oh, and we can’t forget the hooker booth. Some suspicious dude in Lebanon caught the attention of a police officer and led him on a chase down Santiam Highway, then along some back roads, and vrooom! out onto another road. He eventually went through a gate and two fences, drove into a creek bed, jumped out, hid in the bushes... aaaaaand... was taken down by a K9 unit. Not the best police chase I’ve ever heard of, but a dog, some fences, and back roads... I give it a 7.0. Albany police recently discovered tunnels and caves dug out in Simpson Park, suspected to be used as makeshift homes. They are vast enough to have destabilized the roots of several large trees, which now have to be pulled out and replaced. A Pokemon Go downtown event is not something you’d normally associate with Lebanon, but that didn’t stop them from stepping up to the plate, certainly outdoing Corvallis’ Pokemon-related interaction. Sponsored by the Lebanon Downtown Association, shopkeepers put out “lures,” items that help spawn Pokemon for catching in the immediate area, dragging in customers for sales they wouldn’t have gotten otherwise. Word has it that a fairly sizable population showed up to shop and explore the downtown. 4 | Corvallis Advocate Race Runs Around the Homeless Kevin Hart, the famously tiny (but not really) comedian has announced that he will be running the Hood to Coast relay race, a 198-mile bit of self-butchery that takes place over 24 hours. The race itself runs from Mount Hood to Seaside and starts on the 26th of this month. There will be a ton of other non-famous people participating, soaking up the golden rays of the sun, breathing fresh air... totally avoiding a bunch of homeless people. Wait, what? Apparently the organizers, with a few flicks of the wrist, altered the route so the runners wouldn’t go any closer than 40 blocks away from the Springwater Corridor Trail—a place that is currently home to hundreds of homeless people. Charlie Hales, omniscient mayor of Portland, had originally planned to wipe the trail clean of campers, but it has been delayed. There’s been a lot of chatter on the comment boards about this decision, but I don’t personally see much of a stance to be had. It’s obvious why they moved the race, and I think it’d be hard to argue that it’s some kind of dastardly deed. That said, I think it’s a great reminder that there are people out there struggling to survive, while others have the free time to just run. Bundys Gone Wild Last week, US District Court Judge Rob E. Jones dropped the bomb of all bombs: the Malheur goofballs all received special accommodations as a direct result of their collective complaining about the lockup accommodations. So what were they? Secret, unmonitored meetings. In the case of most criminal circumstances this might seem a bit... shall we say, against protocol... but with these a*sclowns? What are Ammon and Ryan going to do with said time, play hide the pickle? I can see it now... Ammon: Hey guy, how you doin’? Ryan: Hey guy, how you doin’? Ammon: I asked you first! Ryan: I asked you first! Ammon: STOP DOING THAT... Ryan: STOP DOING THAT... Ammon: I’m a turd. Ryan: I know you are. *Ammon punches Ryan* Speaking of Prison... The Oregon State Penitentiary was placed on lockdown on the 7th due to over 150 inmates getting into fights. No rioting, just fights. Sorry. Is it gang-related? Are people pissed they didn’t get a sweet deal like the Bundy gang? Did the kitchen run out of chocolate pudding? Smokescreen for an escape? The world may never know. Though I suppose they would eventually find out if it was an escape, since prisons tend to count their inmates. According to The Statesman Journal, 155 inmates were tossed in solitary confinement. Very few injuries were reported, none of which were lifethreatening. Oregon Pot-Buying Teen: Charges Dismissed Last week federal prosecutors mumbled, “Yeah, OK whatever, dismiss it” in a marijuana possession case involving a 19-yearold. The teen, Devondre Thomas, was somehow caught buying a gram for 20 bone from a fellow student at Salem’s Chemawa Indian School. Facing a possible one year of jail time, a lot of people got really pissed off. This resulting in several letters from high-end Oregon politicians being sent to Oregon’s U.S. Attorney. The charge will remain dismissed as long as Thomas attends school or works, and also avoids breaking laws for a period of two months. I think there’s a very important lesson to be learned here for all of us—don’t buy pot in front of the feds. Tax Return Preparation Personal • Corporate • Estate • More! Since 1973 757-1945 316 SW Washington Corvallis a resalefor boutique womenCorvallis in downto a resale boutique women infor downtown a resale boutique for women in downtown Corvallis a resale boutique for women in downtown Corvallis Monday - Friday 11 - 6- Friday • Saturday Sunday 1210- 4- 6 • Monday 11 - 10 6 - •6 •Saturday Monday - Friday 10 - 12 6 •- Sunday Monday - Friday 11 - 6 • Saturday 10 11- 6- 6 •• Saturday Sunday 4 12 - 4 reduce. reuse. re • volve. reduce.reduce. reuse. re•volve. reuse. re•volv reduce. reuse.Located re • volve. Located thehistoric historic Hotel Julian in inthe Hotel Julian nd 2nd Street | 541.754.1154 103 SW Located| www.revolveresale.com in the historic Hotel Juli License 2250C 103 SW 2 Street | 541.754.1154 | www.revolveresale.com ndJulian Located in the historic Hotel 103 SW 2 Street | 541.754.1154 | www.revo 103 SW 2nd Street | 541.754.1154 | www.revolveresale.com Death by Editors Reflections from Those That Make the Cuts T he old saw suggesting writers kill their darlings can lead to any amount of debate over variation and attribution, but in the end, you can’t pen for a living without some beloved passages being unceremoniously dispatched to the ether by an editor somewhere. And yes, we’re misappropriating said saw for the moment to suggest a writer’s revenge— an assignment only for editors, to write in restricted word count on death. Stevie Beisswanger, Associate Editor Death Open-Ended Death and beauty were themes strangely interwoven through my teenage years. My mom married Don the taxidermist, and my first love would become his one apprentice. I used to watch him salt the hides—scrape away life’s residues. Taxidermy is a curious art. The smell of death and the chemical covering of it grew constant. I became accustomed to piles of deer in the driveway, their suspended carcasses split open for all to see. I never once accompanied a hunt; I had a distaste for creature keepsakes, that king-of-the-jungle complex. Their fake, lifeless eyes did little to inspire me, yet a certain beauty presented itself in their faces and fashioned hides—traces of former grace. The loss of my young cousin was the first to feel undeserved. His casket revealed an unfamiliar face. His skin was cold, like clay. I felt for certain he’d gone somewhere else. Though I never cared to guess where. At age 14, I stumbled upon past life hypnosis and its mystical healing powers. I gorged on studies and techniques, and soon began practicing on my friends. Regardless of whether what they experienced was real, their tales were fascinating; Something numinous lingered there, where they traveled. In college I found familiarity in Plato’s accounts of Socrates, as he awaited and welcomed death row... If death begets nothingness, eternity is unbeknownst. If death brings transcendence, I would surely welcome the journey, while denying any road map. I’d rather death be open-ended—that my superstitions remain humble and uncertain. After a quarter century of living, I feel death impending—the inevitability of significant loss. I have yet to be weathered by a bitterness in wake, or to face my own mortality. (I’m counting on a few more years of illusory invincibility.) My only faith is in infinity—not in the trend of girls wearing the symbol on T-shirts or necklaces, but more like what drew me to M. C. Escher’s art work, his hands drawing hands drawing hands. I am only certain of the double loop of life and death, of polar ties and the crossroads of changing seasons. I don’t presume to know the meaning of life and death. My fragmented consciousness can only skim the sciences behind our being. Steven Schultz, Editor-in-Chief Reaper Be Damned Even as a child I never really approved of death and its petty, greedy hatred of limitlessness. In my 20s I would sometimes dare the reaper, but that only left me a hangover of stupid, colorful stories and survivor’s guilt. In my mid-30s, I was sick for a year, and there were tests for things that could have been awful, but there was also an enhanced appreciation of everything. As health returned, however, the banalities of life’s hot-diggity switch game again overtook whatever focus I had gained. In my 40s, I would lose my father at age 69, though both his parents had lived into their 90s. About a year before, he’d tried a surgery and chemo, but the lung cancer proved inexorable. He didn’t need to work, but he chose to continue. He also decided on a few things he wanted to do before dying—he kept it simple. If you casually asked him how he was doing, he would change the subject and ask you the same. While my dad was stoic about dying, he allowed my stepmom to drag him to a parade of specialists; he felt awful for her. We all endured my brother trying to take charge of things, or my step-sister trying to spin everything positive—my father’s patience with all of this was sublime. My takeaway at that point: our deaths are not personal, they are about how we remain in those that we leave behind. In my 50s now, and having adult children, I still think there is a large amount of truth in that. Conversely, I can’t reconcile the reaper having authority to end playtime at his or her own damn will, the motherf*cker; I do take that pretty damn personally. But then, I haven’t a clue how I’ll feel when my time comes. Johnny Beaver, Associate Editor Death’s Design My sister was in a car accident that killed her back in 2003. There’s not much I don’t remember about that day, or the following several weeks. Lots of food, the mind trying to feel better again only to be sucked back down into the understanding that this was real, it had happened. We had a party instead of a funeral; I didn’t attend. I haven’t grieved that hard over anything since. Was it because it was her, or because it was my first time? Our Films Suck Less. Every Night. Darkside Cinema Films for 8/12-8/18/2016 Please call or log on for show times LIFE, ANIMATED —PG In this documentary “The Little Mermaid,” “The Lion King,” and other animated Disney movies help a young autistic man to develop reading, writing and communication skills. EAT THAT QUESTION: FRANK ZAPPA IN HIS OWN WORDS -R This documentary explores the life and career of avant-garde musician Frank Zappa entirely via archival footage of the man, including interviews and concert performances. 100% RT. MUSIC OF STRANGERS: YO-YO MA AND THE SILK ROAD ENSEMBLE —PG-13 The extraordinary documentary of the renowned international musical collective created by legendary cellist Yo-Yo Ma. CAFE SOCIETY —PG-13 In his latest film, Woody Allen conjures up a 1930s world long passed to tell a deeply romantic tale of dreams that never die. Steve Carell, Jesse Eisenberg, Kristen Stewart. Comedy-Drama. HUNT FOR THE WILDERPEOPLE —PG-13 A boy and his foster father become the subjects of a manhunt after they get stranded in the New Zealand wilderness. Sam Neill. Comedy. 99% RT. DARKSIDE Cinema 4th & Madison • Corvallis darksidecinema.com (541) 752-4161 A couple of years ago my grandfather died of Alzheimer’s, having long since become somebody else,Amer reduced to a nigh Amer Dream, freedelivery2 delivery2 Dream, free speechless shell of a person—a shell that ironically also become part ofAmer the family. Dream, free delivery2 At the time of his death, I wasn’t sure who I remembered more... him as he was in the past, or as he was right then. A bit later another grandfather died, who I barely knew; I can remember feeling disturbed at my lack of reaction. Last November, an ex-girlfriend I had been very close to lay down on some train tracks in Orlando and let herself be run over. She was a brilliant artist in possession of a one-of-a-kind creative mind, a mind torn apart by schizophrenia and drug abuse. In these sorts of situations people often question whether they could have done anything or not. I know that my personal answer here is no, but it doesn’t help. Within the last few weeks, a distant cousin’s two-year-old drowned in their pool. I was asked to write about death, and it seems my experience is just a series of events. I don’t feel like I have any insight or philosophical treasure to share. I don’t believe in the comfort of an afterlife. The only silver lining seems to be the fact that we are designed to eventually move on, and that one doesn’t have to forget to do so. I know I won’t ever take that for granted. 1x3 --Page - Comp 1x3 Page1 1 - Co 1x3 - Page 1 - Comp AMERICAN RICAN AME AMERICAN DREAM PIZZA DREAM PIZZA DREAM PIZZA Free Delivery! CAMPUS • 757-1713 Free 2525 Delivery! NW Monroe CAMPUS • •757-1713 753-7373 DOWNTOWN Free Delivery! 2525 NW 214 SWMonroe 2nd CAMPUS • •757-1713 753-7373 DOWNTOWN 2525 NW 214 SWMonroe 2nd DOWNTOWN • 753-7373 214 SW 2nd Corvallis Advocate | 5 Corvallis Death Café GroupLocals Talk Death By Abbie Tumbleson I n America, we’re pretty quick to ask fellow humans how they’re doing, what their day was like, or throw them an ever-so-casual “What’s up?” But why are we so guarded or squeamish when it comes to discussing death and dying? Despite a general discomfort in talking about death, there’s a small group of individuals in Corvallis who discuss the topic regularly. Hard on Bugs, Soft on You! goodearthpest.com (541) 753-7233 Death Café Corvallis gathers on Wednesdays, either at noon or in the evening at 6 p.m., to talk about Helping you find the home of your all things death-related. The group’s guiding principles are respect, dreams over for 60 over years. ou find the home of yourfor dreams 50 yrs. openness, and confidentiality, and while participants are invited to talk death, the group isn’t a support group, debate society, sales pitch, religious or anti-religious organization, nor does it have therapeutic Helping you find the home of your dreams for aover 50 yrs. agenda. Rather, curious individuals are invited to Helping you find the home of your dreams for“drink over 50coffee, yrs. eat cake, and discuss death with interesting people.” A Local Family Business D I V E I N T O Helping families find their first home, as well as their next home since 1951. SUMMER The local Death Café group was started by Jon Louis Dorbolo, Dont’ wait! Find the home associate director of Technology you’ve been looking for today at www.tncrealty.com, or stop Across the Curriculum (TAC) and by our office to speak with one philosophy instructor at Oregon of our experienced real estate brokers. Town & Country Realty, State University. Dorbolo has taught we can help! V philosophy E I N T Oat OSU for over 20 years, is in D theIair Dwhere I V E I N T Ohis students Helping families find their first home, as well as he encourages their next home since 1951. toFind take concepts that are covered in wait! the home Albany Office Dont’ you’ve been looking for today Office the course and apply them to real 1117 Pacific Blvd SEat www.tncrealty.com, Dont’ wait! Find or stopthe home er Ave life. He often in these by our office to speak with one 541-924-5616 you’ve been lookingparticipates for today 1781 of our experienced real estate exercises with his students, which at www.tncrealty.com, or stop brokers. Town & Country Realty, our office to him speakto with one the local Death prompted start help! is in the airwe canby of Café our experienced real estate gatherings. Dorbolo pointed out, brokers. Town &that Country Realty,Café Corvallis however, Death we can help! isn’tOffice supported by or affiliated with Corvallis Office Office Albany Office Albany Corvallis 455 NW Tyler Ave 1117 Pacific Blvd 1117 SE OSU. Pacific Blvd SE 455 NW Tyler Ave 541-757-1781 541-924-5616 Spring SUMMER SUMMER Spring www.tncrealty.com 541-924-5616 541-757-1781 “I try every term to do these realAlbany Office world activities myself so that I may 1117my Pacific Blvd SE as a co-learner share experiences www.tncrealty.com 541-757-1781 455 NW Tyler Ave 321 1st Ave541-924-5616 E, Suite 3-C 541-757-1781 with541-924-5616 the class. As much as I love 541-757-1781 541-924-5616 the abstractness of philosophy, I constantly seek ways to actualize www.tncrealty.com it in the concrete world,” Dorbolo explained. www.tncrealty.com Corvallis Office Corvallis OfficeOffice Albany Office Albany Office www.tncrealty.com 455 Corvallis NW 455 Tyler NW Tyler Ave Ave 1117 Pacific Blvd SE like The Beanery and Interzone on Monroe. Dorbolo’s former student Adrian Clement co-founded the local Death Café. Clement was studying the philosophy of biology, and he and Dorbolo engaged in several conversations about the concepts of life and death. “For the first few months it was just Adrian and I meeting weekly for conversation and to plan the Corvallis Death Café. Word of mouth promoted other folks to attend our weekly meetings,” Dorbolo said. Dorbolo first discovered what Death Cafés were a few years back, while working on a master’s degree in psychology. “In 2013, I wrote a paper relating the process of grieving to concepts in the Tibetan book Bardo Thodol, popularly known as The Tibetan Book of the Dead. Researching the concept of ‘grief’ led me to the work of Swiss sociologist Bernard Cretaz, whom I found had established the first café mortel in Neuchâtel, Switzerland in 2004,” said Dorbolo. Similar sessions spread across Europe and a Death Café organization started in London in 2010, according to Dorbolo. The first Death Café group he became aware of in America was in Columbus, Ohio, in 2013. “When I read about the Death Café movement I recognized the potential for actualizing my thinking about the concept of death,” Dorbolo said. Dorbolo says the social “hardness” of talking about death is one point that most participants express at the meetings. www.tncrealty.com www.tncrealty.com The first Death Café Corvallis meeting was held in the fall of 2014. The group has been meeting regularly since March 2015 at local coffee shops “Some [participants] say that they have never had sustained conversations about death, or that in their families and friendships, the topic is out of bounds, even when someone close to them dies,” said Dorbolo. “It is this ‘taboo’ character of the topic that prompted Cretaz to start his café mortel.” Dorbolo also takes a different view on the matter of death and believes people communicate about death a lot in American culture. “But that communication comes to us through specific media in conventional forms,” he said. A large percentage of movies and television shows include death as a subject, for example. “Death is not taboo in that it is absent from our discourse. What is missing is dialogue on the topic of death. That is what Death Café Corvallis provides—a venue to enable you to voice your own thoughts and listen to others about ideas and issues related to death,” said Dorbolo. One common change the local professor has observed in participants is the enlargement of the scope of their concept of death—several participants have said death is a far larger topic than they realized. Dorbolo welcomes anyone to attend Corvallis Death Café. His role as a facilitator at the meetings is to ensure a safe and smart space for dialogue about death to occur. Gatherings are non-programmed, meaning that there are no set topics or prescribed procedures. If you’re interested in the Corvallis Death Café, you can find out more by joining the Facebook group at www.facebook.com/groups/ deathcafecorvallis/ or by sending an email to deathcafecorvallis@gmail. com. HELP WANTED: PART-TIME REPORTERS/WRITERS Curious about alternative news? Do you have the following? • Excellent grammar skills • A love of research • Passion about local issues • And that ever flexible schedule If interested, please email to [email protected] 1. Your resume 3. Your phone number 6 | Corvallis Advocate 2.Two or three writing samples 4.What you believe you can bring to The Advocate team Petextrian Death Trend Threatens America’s YouthDoom’s Data Plan By Kiki Genoa Z ombies are walking our streets. But unlike the zombies we’re used to seeing on TV and in the movies, these day-walking numbskulls rely on digital technology. According to numerous studies conducted over the past year, pedestrian deaths are at an all-time high. But unlike the streetwalking casualties of old, these people are not getting run over by drunk drivers. Due to an overwhelming obsession with their smartphones, and, more recently, the phenomenon known as Pokémon Go, they’re tripping over sidewalks, walking into signs, into oncoming traffic, and sometimes into each other. Coined “digital deadwalkers” in a series of PSAs that have been distributed via TV and radio since last year which humorously, though perhaps not effectively, attempted to stress the dangers of so-called “distracted walking,” this army of young tech-savvy idiots put themselves in danger with every step they take. After decades of decline, pedestrian fatalities are once again on the rise, but this time, “petextrians” are to blame. A 2015 study conducted by Ohio State University reported that the percentage of pedestrians killed while using cell phones increased from less than 1% in 2004 to more than 3.5% in 2010. A report from the Governors Highway Safety Association shows that pedestrian deaths have increased 15% since 2009, and walkers distracted as they text on mobile phones are one of the main causes for this increase. Since 2010, two million pedestrian injuries were related to cell phone use while walking. In 2013, 4,735 pedestrian fatalities were recorded. Cell phone use has increased eightfold over the past 15 years. The rise in deaths caused by a phenomenon called “distracted walking” has paralleled this increase, suggesting that distracted walking deaths and injuries are likely a direct result of increased cell phone use. The term “petextrian,” coined recently by users of the Urban Dictionary, combines the words pedestrian and texting to describe, in the libretti of one wordsmith, “someone who’s texting while walking, and is completely oblivious to what’s going on around them—people [who] have a tendency to walk into things like parking meters, light poles, and fall down stairs.” Several cases of horrific petextrian deaths gained publicity in recent months. On Christmas Day, 33-year-old Joshua Burwell of Indiana fell to his death after using his smartphone to photograph a sunset on the edge of a 60-foot cliff while on vacation in San Diego. Nearby lifeguards reported a man who wasn’t watching where he was walking and instead was concentrating on his phone. Last May, a 68-year-old Texas woman visiting Philadelphia crossed a busy Chinatown street while looking down at her iPad and was promptly hit by an amphibious duck boat filled with tourists. She died of head injuries soon after. Significant efforts have been made on the part of both the U.S. government and national organizations promoting public safety. The nationwide spike in deaths caused by walking and texting prompted the federal government to offer $2 million in grants to various cities to combat what they called a “minor epidemic.” One such city, Philadelphia, launched a rather humorous campaign last year called “Road Safety, Not Rocket Science.” Campaign workers urged pedestrians, particularly young people, to stay safe on the streets by giving them the message to “pick your head up and put your phone down,” while issuing over 400 mock tickets to people they found walking “distractedly” around the city. In June, which was National Safety Month, several nationwide organizations worked to reduce deaths by texting by improving distracted-walking awareness, and last year, the National Safety Council or NSC— America’s leading authority on the endless dangers present in everyday life— published a section on the safety threat of distracted walking for the very first time in its annual Injury Facts Statistical Report. It’s unclear whether the well-meaning efforts of various do-gooders can truly convince even one of these zombie millennials to look up from their cell phones in time to escape a grisly death. One problem may be the fact that it’s not just jaywalkers sending tweets who end up in the emergency room. According to some widely reported and rather baffling statistics released by the 2015 NSC report, more than half of unintentional deaths and injuries from distracted walking involving mobile phone use actually occur at home. Apparently all multi-tasking is dangerous, which the NSC has stressed in various publications. A paper entitled “Understanding the Distracted Brain” was included in the NSC’s 2015 Accident Analysis and Prevention Report, describing multitasking as a “myth” due to the fact that it takes our brains a few tenths of a second to switch gears, thus slowing down reaction time when trying to perform two or more actions at once. Perhaps the most pertinent piece of evidence proving that humans are simply too stupid to walk and text at the same time is the fact that we are in denial that we even do such a thing on a regular basis. Beautiful Catering Starts @ only 4.99 $ a person Text (541) 908-2667Only corvallismediterranean.com 453 SW Madison & 5th St. Downtown Corvallis While 78% of adults surveyed in 2015 by the American Academy of Orthopaedic Surgery (AAOS) said they believed distracted walking is a “serious issue,” only 29% admitted to having ever engaged in such activity themselves. Three-fourths of Americans stated that only “other people” walked while distracted, and, similarly, while 85% claimed to have witnessed people using smartphones while walking, only 28% said they’d ever done so on their own. The trend in the AAOS study continued with 90% of people arguing that they frequently saw others talking on the phone while walking, and only 37% admitting to have done so themselves. What’s more, people don’t seem to take the issue seriously—and really, how could anyone? While 46% of Americans surveyed by AAOS said they thought distracted walking was dangerous, the exact same number felt that it was just “embarrassing, in a silly way.” Half of all millennials ages 16 to 34—and 22% of people of all ages—said they thought distracted walking was, quite simply, “funny.” One can only hope that improved public awareness of the petextrian danger phenomenon will eventually convince people that waiting to text, tweet, or snap a selfie till one can sit down in a safe place is the right thing to do. Don’t be a petextrian, guys. Even though not texting while you walk around might seem about as uncool to you as riding a bike with a helmet, it just might keep you alive. Corvallis Advocate | 7 Death au Naturel By Abbie Tumbleson Exploring Natural Burial and Cremation L Death by Numbers Benton County’s 2015 By Stevie Beisswanger Death Toll, Crunched D eath weighs heavy—not only on the hearts and minds of those left behind, but literally. Bodies mean mass, and burials mean massive bills. To understand the weight of what’s left behind by our region’s deceased, here is last year’s death toll in Benton County, crunched. Preliminary reports from 2015 mark a total of 550 deaths in Benton County. That’s 550 bodies needing burial space or cremation, along with respective costs. According to local funeral and cremation service provider McHenry Funeral Home, the average cost of a funeral is $5,000. If each of the 550 deceased had an average funeral last year, the combined costs would be in the $2.75 million range. An average burial plot is around two and a half feet wide by eight feet long. For Benton County’s 550 deceased, that’s roughly 11,000 square feet of ground space, or roughly five times the floor space of an average threebedroom home. The remains of a cremated adult male average 6 pounds; 4 pounds for females. If all 550 deceased were cremated, the combined ashes would weigh about 2,750 pounds, figuring on 5 pounds per body. The combined mass would be equal in weight to a Plymouth Voyager, or about half as much as a fully grown giraffe. friendly funeral directors at McHenry Funeral Home in Corvallis. osing a loved one is tough. Families are usually tasked with making end-of-life arrangements and other notso-fun decisions as they’re grieving and mourning. A good number of funeral service businesses encourage people to fill out their end-of-life requests and wishes before they die to help make the process easier for all parties involved. But, death can happen unexpectedly, or financial situations can change, which can impact the amount of money someone wants to—or can afford to— spend on funeral and burial services. The price tags for funeral services can be alarming for those who aren’t aware of average costs. A traditional funeral in the U.S., which usually includes funeral home services, burial, and a headstone, costs between $7,000 to $10,000, according to Parting.com. The average cost of a direct cremation, which doesn’t include funeral services, runs between $600 and $3,000. Factoring in all those expenses can be alarming for a person who is still alive, or for families who are left to pay the funeral bills. On top of it all is a growing, alternative trend: natural burial and “A regular burial is about $3,000, which is what you’d pay for a casket and vault,” Folger said. “There are a lot more ‘green’ cremations than ‘green’ burials.” Burial vaults surround a casket or urn in the ground or in a tomb, and are made of concrete or other materials. The vaults are used in most “traditional” funerals, according to the Federal Trade Commission. While some cemeteries may require vaults or grave liners to be used, they’re often not required by state laws. Burial methods using wooden coffins or urns made of natural materials, for example, are “more nature-friendly,” according to Folger. cremation. To be buried “naturally” typically means that a body doesn’t go through the embalming process and that the casket, urn, or vessel for the body or cremated remains is placed in the ground without a vault or grave liner. The costs of a natural burial or cremation can run you about the same amount of money as a traditional burial, according to Rachael Folger, one of the 8 | Corvallis Advocate Natural coffins vary in price, but, according to a quick Google search, you PURPLE COW SPECIAL August 18th Free Coffee Drink with purchase of first coffee at equal or greater value These figures are disproportionate to those deceased under the age of 18. Last year, there were two infant deaths and two deaths of children between ages 10 and 17. Of the 550 deceased, most were found to be from natural causes—approximately 501. Ten lives were taken via suicide and one via homicide, compared with neighboring Linn County, which saw 20 suicides and four homicides, but whose total death count more than doubled our own at 1,279 deceased. Other causes of death were unintended injuries, taking a total of 33 lives in Benton County in 2015, and undetermined intent, claiming three lives. Thankfully, no lives were lost due to legal intervention. McHenry Funeral Home offers a selection of natural coffins and urns to clients. And funeral directors can help families find cemeteries and memorial parks that permit natural burials, like Oaklawn Memorial Cemetery in Corvallis, in certain areas of the cemetery. or visit us at: CorvallisArtsWalk.com or facebook.com/CorvallisArtsWalk 120 SW 4th St. • Corvallis (541) 224-1467 Real From-Scratch Homemade Healthful Wholesome Goodness can buy a simple and natural pine box on Etsy for around $625. “There definitely are a lot more options, even with ‘green’ burials and memorial parks, since the mid-2000s,” said Folger. Another option for those who are into the “natural” way of passing is to forego the placement of a headstone at a gravesite and place a rock, tree, or flowers near the grave instead. Cynthia Beal, the founder of the Natural Burial Company, located here in Oregon, says the choice to be buried or cremated is a personal decision. She has worked in sustainable agriculture and natural foods all of her life, and said it was a natural next step to enter the trade of burying people naturally, the way they were born. People can choose from a wide selection of products on the Natural Burial Company website. A shroud, for example, is a frugal and simple alternative to an urn or coffin. The Natural Burial Company sells an organic cotton shroud for less than $300 at funerals.naturalburialcompany.com. There are also biodegradable urn options for those who choose the cremation route. You could go with a Himalayan salt urn, a box made from pressed recycled paper, or an urn shaped like an acorn made from recycled paper and other natural fibers. Once buried, the From Dust to... Boxwoods?Better Biodegradable Urns By John M. Burt any people, when dealing with a death in the family, opt for M cremation. The Cremation Association of North America has noted an upward trend in people choosing cremation over burial, predicting that by 2025, over half of Americans will favor cremations: approximately 56%. The lid is imprinted with the name of the deceased, and any other text the family desires, in a circle around a cork stopper in the middle. Also provided will be a small potted boxwood sapling. French designer Margaux Ruyant has introduced a sleek biodegradable urn, slated to be available for public purchase later this year. Dissatisfied with existing biodegradable urns, Ruyant created Poetree, an urn much better conceived than its name. The urn is meant to be used in a threepart ritual. First, the urn is placed in a desired setting, such as a mantle, shelf, or table. The family can keep the urn this way for as long as they choose, until they are ready for the next phase, when the stopper is removed and the boxwood sapling in its cork pot is nestled in the ashes. Poetree is an attractive bowl-shaped urn made of cork with a ceramic lid. The boxwood will soon grow beyond the pot, sending its roots into the fibers decompose rapidly. The salt urn is supposed to dissolve within four hours when placed in water, and the cremated remains are dispersed according to the product description. issues of cemetery management in the 21st century. Beal works with students and researchers at the university’s Sustainable Cemetery Studies Lab. In addition to founding the Natural Burial Company, Beal operates Rest Lawn Memorial Park. She’s also working on a program for sustainable cemetery management with Oregon State University. The program, which Beal says is the first of its kind in the world, will help to address the complex “There’s a scientific way to answer questions about bodies being checked for contaminants, chemicals, drugs, etc.,” Beal said. “I would say that the goal of the lab at OSU is to identify the questions [to ask] and to interest researchers into looking into answers, because we have not yet asked the most important questions.” ashes, and providing the family or next of kin with a new, lively focus. When it’s ready, the urn can be taken outside and planted in the yard, or in some other suitable location. The tree will grow to its full size, its roots expanding beyond the urn as the cork biodegrades and the ashes become one with the soil. The ceramic lid will remain, surrounding the tree, as a permanent grave marker for the deceased. Margaux Ruyant’s Poetree urn is expected to be available for public purchase in late 2016. For more information, visit https:// poetreecreations.org/poetree/. With so many options for natural burial and cremation at one’s fingertips, it seems like a nice thought to leave this world naturally, which could in turn help out the Earth and our environment, and ease pressures like the need for more property for living populations. But it’s your death, your funeral, and your burial—or lack thereof—so do it your way. (Come on. We know you’ve been eyeing that biodegradable, handcrafted turtle vessel made from recycled paper …) UPCOMING EVENTS AUG. 19, 20, 26, 27 7:30 pm AUG. 21 & 28 2:30pm VANYA AND SONIA AND MASHA AND SPIKE Chekhov is alive and well in Bucks County, PA, where adult siblings Vanya and Sonia reside in their family home, mourning their lost dreams and missed opportunities. When their movie star sister, Masha, arrives unexpectedly with young, sexy, boy toy, Spike, the family is launched into a rollicking weekend of one-upmanship, exposed nerves, and a lot of broken mugs. Tickets $14-16 AUG. 28 IMPRESSIONISM MAJESTIC READER’S THEATRE COMPANY Katharine owns an gallery where she and her assistant Thomas hide from 3pm & 7pm life-stalling disappointments. He suffers from the photographer’s equivalent of writer’s block and she from a failed relationship with a contemporary artist. The paintings on the wall of the gallery form an impressionist’s view of Katherine and Thomas’ lives, and the history that determines their relationship. Is life more like realism or impressionism? It helps if you step back a bit to view it. Dr. Kurt S. Black relax.restore.rejuvenate. OSU Bard in the Quad Cosmetic, Implant + Restorative Dentistry Tickets $10-12 SEPT. 9 & 10 7:30pm By combining high tech dentistry with spa-like amenities, L’AFFAIRE MINOU AN EVENING OF CLASSICAL ART SONG AND DANCE Child-poet, Minou Drouet, astounded the French Academics with her poems, which were soon published in English “My First Poems.” Her eloquence of verse and prose proved her incredible talent. Composer Dean Kennedy has set her words to music, creating an evening of classical Art Song with vocals by Willamette Valley singers. Featuring local musicians and dancers from Willamette Apprentice Ballet. Tickets $14-16 For Tickets visit www.majestic.org or call: 541-738-7469 Dr. Black and his team will make your visit more relaxed TIMBERHILL than you ever thought possible. A tasty cappuccino, satellite TV, cozy blankets, and even a paraffin wax dip all serve to make your visit special and unique. COMPLIMENTARY CONSULTATIONS & SECOND OPINIONS! Kurt S. Black DDS PC 541.754.0144 timberhilldental.com 2356 NW Professional Dr. Corvallis, OR 97330 Corvallis Advocate | 9 A we h ave y o u r fi re 1665 SE 3rd Street, South Town Corvallis o p e n d a i l y 1 0 a m - 1 0 p m . m e n u a t w w w. T h e A g r e s t i c . c o m 10 | Corvallis Advocate CALENDAR Thursday, Aug. 11 Thirsty Thursday Trivia. Deluxe Brewing Company, 635 NE Water Ave., Albany. 7 p.m. No cover, but 21+. Teambased trivia happening every Thursday. Show off your smarts while enjoying craft beverages at Deluxe Brewing Company. Each night, the top two teams will win prizes. For info, visit www.sinisterdeluxe. com. 8/4-8/11 Yoga – Bring a Friend for Free. Live Well Studio, 971 Spruce Ave. 5:30 – 6:30 p.m. Free. All levels welcome. For info, visit www.livewellstudio.com. Emerson Vineyards Friday Night Music. Emerson Vineyards, 11665 Airlie Rd., Monmouth. 6 – 9 p.m. Cost: $7.50 plus a can of food. “Froggie” Hyland and “Zorro” Zane will perform. For info, visit www.emersonvineyards.com. Imagine Coffee Open Mic. Imagine Coffee, 5460 SW Philomath Blvd. 7 – 9 p.m. Free. For info, visit www.imaginecoffee.net. The Road Sodas. Imagine Coffee, 5460 SW Philomath Blvd. 7 – 9 p.m. Free. For info, visit www.imaginecoffee.net. Bard in the Quad: Love’s Labour’s Lost. Memorial Union Quad, 2501 SW Jefferson Way. 7:30 p.m. Cost: $15 general admission, $10 students and seniors, $5 for OSU students. Oregon State University’s popular Bard in the Quad program returns for its 11th season in August with a production of Shakespeare’s witty and romantic Love’s Labour’s Lost. Performances will be held at 7:30 p.m. Aug. 11 to 14 on OSU’s Memorial Union Quad. Bard in the Quad brings innovative Shakespeare productions to Corvallis in a casual, fun summer atmosphere. Performances are held outdoors and no seating is provided. Attendees are encouraged to bring low lawn chairs and/ or blankets, warm clothing, and a picnic dinner if desired. Seating begins at 6:30 p.m. and no one will be seated prior to that time. For info, visit www.bardinthequad.org. Bard in the Quad: Love’s Labour’s Lost. Memorial Union Quad, 2501 SW Jefferson Way. 7:30 p.m. Cost: $15 general admission, $10 students and seniors, $5 for OSU students. Oregon State University’s popular Bard in the Quad program returns for its 11th season in August with a production of Shakespeare’s witty and romantic Love’s Labour’s Lost. Performances will be held at 7:30 p.m. Aug. 11 to 14 on OSU’s Memorial Union Quad. Bard in the Quad brings innovative Shakespeare productions to Corvallis in a casual, fun summer atmosphere. Performances are held outdoors and no seating is provided. Attendees are encouraged to bring low lawn chairs and/ or blankets, warm clothing, and a picnic dinner if desired. Seating begins at 6:30 p.m. and no one will be seated prior to that time. For info, visit www.bardinthequad.org. Free Range Open Mic. Bombs Away Café, 2527 NW Monroe Ave. 8:30 p.m. Free. In the spirit of fostering camaraderie in the Corvallis music scene and creation of new bands/projects, we give you Free Range Open Mic Night. This rotating event will move between Bombs Away Cafe and Cloud & Kelly’s Public House on alternating dates so that it occurs twice per month. It is our hope that the event will settle down to be on Thursday nights, but we’ll see what works best for all involved. It is our hope that this event will fill the three most sacred purposes of open mic nights: Giving new artists encouragement to keep playing and learn how to play in front of others. Getting area musicians to drink together, play together, and thus form new bands. And creating a scene of musicians who care about other musicians by giving them a reason and place to socialize. Steve Hunter will be signing people up starting at 7 p.m. For info, visit www.bombsawaycafe.com. Cascade Rye. Calapooia Brewing Company, 140 NE Hill St. 8 p.m. Free. For info, visit www.calapooiabrewing.com. Friday, Aug. 12 Bard in the Quad: Love’s Labour’s Lost. Memorial Union Quad, 2501 SW Jefferson Way. 7:30 p.m. Cost: $15 general admission, $10 students and seniors, $5 for OSU students. Oregon State University’s popular Bard in the Quad program returns for its 11th season in August with a production of Shakespeare’s witty and romantic Love’s Labour’s Lost. Performances will be held at 7:30 p.m. Aug. 11 to 14 on OSU’s Memorial Union Quad. Bard in the Quad brings innovative Shakespeare productions to Corvallis in a casual, fun summer atmosphere. Performances are held outdoors and no seating is provided. Attendees are encouraged to bring low lawn chairs and/ or blankets, warm clothing, and a picnic dinner if desired. Seating begins at 6:30 p.m. and no one will be seated prior to that time. For info, visit www.bardinthequad.org. Toney Rocks. Calapooia Brewing Company, 140 NE Hill St., Albany. 8 p.m. Free. For info, visit www.calapooiabrewing. com. Cherry and the Lowboys. Bombs Away Café, 2527 NW Monroe Ave. 9:30 p.m. Cost: $5. Cherry and the Lowboys serve up greasy grooves inspired by classic hot rod culture. These raucous and rowdy tunes are designed to get your motor running HOT. With the incomparable Cherry on drums and her Lowboys out front, this trio delivers original rockabilly and blues that will have you shakin’ like bacon at speeds that are more than just a little bit dangerous. It’s time to party, Slick… Cherry and the Lowboys are in town. Come on out and get down with the original Blues-a-Billy band! For info, visit www. bombsawaycafe.com. The Outletz. Bombs Away Café, 2527 NW Monroe Ave. 9:30 p.m. Cost: $3. The OutLetZ are a high energy rhythm and blues group from Corvallis whose motto is “Plug in, turn on, ROCK OUT!” For info, visit www.bombsawaycafe.com. Why Oh Why and Slow Burn & The Shady Bunch. Cloud & Kelly’s Public House, 126 1st St. 10 p.m. Cost: $3. For info, visit www.cloudandkellys.com. Saturday, Aug. 13 Sunday, Aug. 14 $5 Yoga. Live Well Studio, 971 Spruce Ave. 4 p.m. Cost: $5. For info, visit www. livewellstudio.com. 11th Annual Campeones de Salud. Osborn Aquatic Center, 1940 NW Highland Dr. 12 – 7 p.m. Free. Benton County Health Services, along with Corvallis Parks and Recreation and Casa Latinos Unidos de Benton County, is presenting the 11th annual Campeones de Salud (Champions for Health) event. In response to community input, this year’s event will be a family swim day hosted at Osborn Aquatic Center. The Aqua Campeones de Salud Family Swim Day is a way to create Total Elvis Fitness. Old World Deli, 341 SW 2nd St. 7 p.m. Free. An hour of music, comedy, and calisthenics with “Elvis Presley.” All ages. For info, visit Old World Deli. Triple Play. Imagine Coffee, 5460 SW Philomath Blvd. 7 – 9 p.m. Free. For info, visit www.imaginecoffee.net. a healthy and inclusive environment while integrating community action, available resources, and access points to healthcare services. The day’s activities will include free admission to Osborn Aquatic Center; family water sports; rock wall climbing; zip line; free dental and health screenings; DJ entertainment; and will end with a summer BBQ for the community. For info, call 541766-6362. Yoga for Recovery. Live Well Studio, 971 Spruce Ave. 12:30 – 1:45 p.m. By donation. For recovery from substance abuse, eating disorders, codependency. For info, visit www.livewellstudio.com. Bard in the Quad: Love’s Labour’s Lost. Memorial Union Quad, 2501 SW Jefferson Way. 7:30 p.m. Cost: $15 general admission, $10 students and seniors, $5 for OSU students. Oregon State University’s popular Bard in the Quad program returns for its 11th season in August with a production of Shakespeare’s witty and romantic Love’s Labour’s Lost. Performances will be held at 7:30 p.m. Aug. 11 to 14 on OSU’s Memorial Union Quad. Bard in the Quad brings innovative Shakespeare productions to Corvallis in a casual, fun summer atmosphere. Performances are held outdoors and no seating is provided. Attendees are encouraged to bring low lawn chairs and/ or blankets, warm clothing, and a picnic dinner if desired. Seating begins at 6:30 p.m. and no one will be seated prior to that time. For info, visit www.bardinthequad.org. Monday, Aug. 15 Heroclix. Matt’s Cavalcade of Comics, 2075 NW Buchanan Ave. 5:30 – 8 p.m. Free. For info, visit www.ilovespidey.com. Tuesday, Aug. 16 Downtown Dog, 780 S Main St., Lebanon. 6 – 8 p.m. Free. Colleen and her virtual band will be playing pop and jazz classics while you enjoy a Tuesday dog nosh. For info, visit www.colleenkitchen.com. Community Movie Night. Darkside Cinema, 215 SW 4th St. 7 p.m. Free. Every Tuesday at the Darkside Cinema, Ygal Kaufman, noted local film historian and Darkside enthusiast, hosts Community Movie Night, a free weekly screening of lost, classic, and cult films. The feature film of the week is always preceded by newsreels, cartoons from the year of the feature’s release, and an introduction with interesting facts about the production from Kaufman. Donations are graciously accepted and benefit the renovation of the Darkside Cinema, Corvallis’ only independent movie house. For info, visit www.cmnyk.wordpress.com or www. facebook.com/freemovienightcorvallis. Celtic Jam. Imagine Coffee, 5460 SW Philomath Blvd. 7 p.m. Free. For info, visit www.imaginecoffee.net. Concert in the Park. Central City Park, 650 NW Monroe Ave. 8 p.m. Free. The Corvallis Community Band format is as it usually is, with the band rehearsing from 7 to 8 p.m. and the concert starting at 8 p.m. and lasting about an hour. Any member of the community with at least high school ability is welcome to join us each week or for the entire summer. All one needs to do is show up a little before 7 p.m. with your instrument and a music stand if you have one. There are no auditions and no additional rehearsals are scheduled or even desired. Each week the concert is different and with a different theme. This week’s theme is “Dixieland” featuring Steve Mattes, clarinet and sax solo. For info, visit www.c-cband.org. Wednesday, Aug. 17 Family Mornings in the Garden. SAGE Garden, 4485 SW Country Club Dr. 10 a.m. – 12 p.m. Cost: $10 per family. Every Tuesday in August we offer family-friendly garden activities and projects that are appropriate for all ages. Each week features a new activity, such as decorating garden flags or making a seed collage. Each day, try a fun snack fresh from the garden. For info, visit www.sustainablecorvallis.org. Yoga for Runners and Athletes. Live Well Studio, 971 Spruce Ave. 5:45 a.m. Cost: 14 days for $30. Yoga for Runners and Athletes is a cross-training class for athletes to help improve strength, flexibility, recovery, stability, and a strong mental focus. For info, visit www.livewellstudio. com. Chair Yoga. Live Well Studio, 971 Spruce Ave. 3 – 4 p.m. By donation. For info, visit www.livewellstudio.com. Free Teen Yoga. Live Well Studio, 971 Spruce Ave. 4 – 5 p.m. Free. For info, visit www.livewellstudio.com. Colleen: Completely Beyond. CBCPL Book Club. Corvallis-Benton OpenvForvBreakfast,v OpenvvLunch,v&vDinnerl For Breakfast, Lunch, & Dinner! NowvServingvFullvBreakfastvDaily Now Serving Full Breakfast on Weekends Monday - Saturday 7am- 9pm & Sunday 8am-8pm 219 SW 2nd, Downtown Corvallis MONDAY MADNESS ½ off Tap Beverages With the purchase of any pizza. Dine in only. With or without coupon! MONDAY MADNESS ½541-752-5151 off Tap Beverages 541-752-5151 • 1045 NW KINGS BLVD With the purchase of any pizza. Dine in only. With or without coupon! 20110350_0323_2x3_MonMad_db.indd 1 3/22/2011 11:18:43 AM 20110350_0323_2x3_MonMad_db.indd 1 3/22/2011 11:18:43 AM 1045 NW KINGS BLVD 541-752-5151 • 1045 NW KINGS BLVD 541-754-0181 www.NewMorningBakery.com Monday - Saturday 7am- 9pm & Sunday 8am-8pm www.NewMorningBakery.com 219 SW 2nd, Downtown Corvallis 541-754-0181 IT GETS BETTER 24 HR SUICIDE HOTLINE Benton County Mental Health Crisis Line 1-888-232-7192 Corvallis Advocate | 11 Ongoing August Events... Fun-with-the-Animals Work Party. Lighthouse Farm Sanctuary, 36831 Richardson Gap Rd., Scio. Wednesdays: 10 a.m. – 12 p.m.; Saturdays: 10 a.m. – 1 p.m. Free. For all ages and abilities. Work parties provide the sanctuary’s abused, abandoned, or neglected farm animals with clean water, bedding, and living conditions. No RSVP required; just show up wearing farm apparel and boots. For info, contact 503-394-4486 or volunteer@ lighthousefarmsanctuary.org. Albany Historic Carousel and Museum. 503 W 1st Ave. 10 a.m. – 4 p.m. Monday through Saturday. In the lobby, view finished animals and watch the painters work on a number of animals and other handcrafted projects. In the carving studio, see and touch over two dozen carvings in progress. For info, visit www. albanycarousel.com. Albany Farmers’ Market. SW Ellsworth St. and SW 4th Ave. 9 a.m. – 1 p.m. Runs through Nov. 19. Features fresh, locally grown, locally produced dairy, meat, and farm goods. For info, visit http:// locallygrown.org/home. Corvallis Farmers’ Market. NW Jackson Ave. and NW 1st St. 9 a.m. – 1 p.m. Saturdays and Wednesdays. Runs through Nov. 23. Features fresh, locally grown, locally produced dairy, meat, and farm goods. For info, visit http:// locallygrown.org/home. OSUsed Store Sales. OSUsed Store, 644 SW 13th St. Tuesdays: 5:30 – 7:30 p.m.; Fridays: 12 – 3 p.m. Free admission. Items for sale include used computers and computer accessories, furniture, office supplies, sporting goods, household items, bicycles, and much more. For info, visit fa.oregonstate.edu/surplus. Exhibit: IMAGINE, Work by Wes Cropper, Jim Hockenhull, and Lorraine Richey. The Arts Center, 700 SW Madison Ave. 12 – 5 p.m. Runs through Aug. 13. The exhibit shows personal interpretations of new and other worlds. Their imagery is not based on literal reality, but on their own imagined alternate realities. The three artists in IMAGINE are presenting limited prints, conventionally framed and presented in the same manner as intaglio prints and serigraphs historically have been, while using current techniques and their specific possibilities. For info, visit www.theartscenter.net. Exhibit: Documenting the End of the Age of Steam. Benton County Historical Museum, 1101 Main St., Philomath. 10 a.m. – 4:30 p.m. Runs through Aug. 20. Photographer John C. Illman (1921-2013) documented the 20th century transition from steam to County, Public Library, 645 NW Monroe Ave. 7 – 8 p.m. Free. Join us at 7 p.m. in the library Board Room the third Wednesday of each month for the Corvallis-Benton County Public Library-sponsored adult book club. At the next meeting we will be discussing State of Wonder by Ann Patchett. Check out a copy of this month’s book at the Corvallis Library second-floor Reference Desk. For info, visit www.cbcpubliclibrary.net. Thursday, Aug. 18 Walk the CAW. Downtown Corvallis. All day. Free. The Corvallis Arts Walk is a grass roots-organized art walk that takes place on the third Thursday of each month 12 | Corvallis Advocate diesel locomotives. More than 500 of his photographs and several articles were published in books and magazines. Illman’s railroad photography is at Benton County Museum through Aug. 20, with a closing reception on Aug. 20 from 3 to 4:30 p.m. For info, visit www.bentoncountymuseum. org. Exhibit: Observing + Archiving = Creating, Work by Kurt Fisk and Jill Baker. The Arts Center, 700 SW Madison Ave. 12 – 5 p.m. Runs through Aug. 27. Two artists observe, make notations, archive and create their own new work. Kurt Fisk exhibited earlier at The Arts Center in the “I am” exhibit, April 2015 as part of the inVISIBLE Festival. Kurt Fisk has been creating and archiving delightful illustrations full of intriguing characters since the 1970s. Fisk excels at capturing complex emotions with humor and sensitivity. Baker is an interdisciplinary artist and educator who once lived on the Oregon Coast, a place where temperate rain forest meets the ocean. Like the Oregon Coast, much of her work is involved with isolated towns and stories, viewpoints, and historical markers. For info, visit www.theartscenter.net. Exhibit: Nothing New: New Work of Used Materials and Old Ideas by Tom Koa. Living Room Gallery, 425 SW Madison Ave. 12 – 5 p.m. Thursday through Saturday. Runs through Aug. 31. Photography. For info, visit www.facebook. com/artgalleryCorvallis. Exhibit: Oregon Wonders: My Favorite Place. Giustina Gallery, 875 SW 26th St. 8 a.m. – 5 p.m. Monday through Friday. Runs through Aug. 31. Full of breathtaking interpretations anf pictures of places all over Oregon the exhibit displays Oregonians true love for all things Oregon. Showing breath taking views from the coast to the high mountain ranges along with some of the fun quirky towns along the way. Reception on Aug. 19. For info, visit www.oregonstate.edu/ lasells/gallery. Ugly Art Room Call for Artists. Runs through Sept. 5. Ugly Art Room and Corvallis Brewing Supply have partnered to create a unique art show titled “Bottle Caps” that celebrates beer + art. The call for art, open to all artists nationwide in all mediums, seeks artwork created on tiny bottle caps. The work is to be sent to Ugly Art Room by Sept. 5. Once received Jen G. Pywell, founder of Ugly Art Room, and Joel Rea, owner of Corvallis Brewing Supply, will open all the artwork on camera. Artwork will be on display during a special event at Corvallis Brewing Supply called 99 Bottles of Beer on the Wall on Sept. 7. The artwork will be on display to the public in downtown Corvallis. Galleries, studios, arts/crafts stores, and the occasional popup keep their doors open late to host an art-related event or demonstration. Walking maps of the event can be picked up at any of the storefront members’ locations or viewed online. For info, visit www. corvallisartwalk.com. SAGE Concert Series – The Crescendo Show and Hermano. SAGE Garden, 4485 SW Country Club Dr. 6 p.m. Free; $10 suggested donation per family. Summer is here and the weather is perfect for music in the park! The 2016 Starker Arts Garden for Education (SAGE) Concert Series, presented with Oregon State Credit Union, is a set of four during business hours through Sept. 12. For info, visit www.uglyartroom.com. Benton County Cultural Coalition Grant Submission Period. Runs through Sept. 10. The Benton County Cultural Coalition has new grant money from the Oregon Cultural Trust available for art, culture, and heritage projects in Benton County. Interested organizations may submit a Letter of Intent online at www.bentonculture.org through Sept. 10. Any registered 501(c) (3) organization or partner group may apply. Priorities will be given to: art projects and programs that offer innovation, variety and scope for Benton County’s diverse population; cultural/educational projects that enhance citizen understanding, growth and participation; and heritage programs that foster preservation and beautification. For info, email [email protected]. Exhibit: Temporary Artists Guild Art Show. Studio262, 425 SW Madison Ave. Times vary. Runs through Sept. 10. Studio262 is excited to welcome back the Temporary Artists’ Guild. These fabulous artists were gracious enough to kick off their Featured Artist Series of shows when we first opened in 2014. They look forward to seeing what they have to share with them two years later! For info, visit www. studio262gallery.com. Summer at Your Library for Adults: Enrich, Excite, Explore. Corvallis-Benton County Public Library, 645 NW Monroe Ave. Runs through Sept. 18. Adults 18 and over may fill out activity logs and return them to the library by Sept. 7 for a chance to win prizes. Examples of eligible activities include reading or listening to a book, reading to a child, using a library resource to create something, visiting a park, and many others. Grand prizes, such as an iPod, will be drawn at the end of the summer as well as smaller weekly prizes. Librarians will be suggesting books, activities, and more all summer long to help keep you playing. For info, visit HYPERLINK “http://www.cbcpl. net/summeratyourlibrary”www.cbcpl.net/ summeratyourlibrary. Exhibit: Faculty Art Exhibit. Fairbanks Gallery, 220 SW 26th St. 8 a.m. – 5 p.m. Runs through Sept. 28. Oregon State University’s Fairbanks Gallery is hosting a summer-long art faculty exhibit at Fairbanks Gallery. The exhibit will be in Fairbanks Hall on the OSU campus. It will include work by Evan Baden, Michael Boonstra, Julia Bradshaw, Kay Campbell, Anna Fidler, Julie Green, Stephen Hayes, Yuji Hiratsuka, Shelley Jordon, Andy Myers, Kerry Skarbakka, and John Whitten. A broad array of styles and approaches to creating art will be featured family-friendly evenings showcasing local musicians supported by local businesses. This week, featuring The Crescendo Show and Hermano. For info, visit www. corvallisenvironmentalcenter.org. 2016 Edible Garden Tour. Philomath Community Garden, 300 S 11th St, Philomath. 6 – 8 p.m. Free. The two-hour tour will begin at 6 p.m. at Philomath Community Garden, just west of Marys River Park in Philomath. The tour will include stops at four sites, with each host resident giving a brief overview of their garden — how they transformed the space, selected what to plant, and overcame any challenges. The goal of the tours is to encourage Corvallis area residents in photography, painting, drawing, mixed media, printmaking, and video. Gallery hours are 8 a.m. to 5 p.m., Monday through Friday, with extra hours during the Corvallis Arts Walk. A closing reception, open to the public, will be held from 4:30 to 5:30 p.m. on Sept. 28. For info, visit oregonstate.edu/fairbanksgallery. Exhibit: Heartwood: Inquiry and Engagement with Pacific Northwest Forests. The Valley Library, 5th Floor, 201 SW Waldo Pl. 10 a.m. – 6 p.m. Runs through Oct. 30. The OSU Libraries and Press Special Collections and Archives Research Center explores our deep and complicated connections with forests. Participants include the US Forest Service Pacific Northwest Research Station and the Spring Creek Project. For info, visit osulibrary.oregonstate.edu. Exhibit: Up, Up, and Away. Benton County Historical Museum, 1101 Main St., Philomath. 10 a.m. – 4:30 p.m. Runs through Nov. 5. Up, Up, and Away is a year-long exhibition about the history of flight. See artifacts and learn stories about the past century of manned flight. Themes in the exhibition include ballooning, kites, helicopters, toys, and early development of the airplane and its evolution through the 20th century, during wars, by commercial travel and into space. For info, visit www. bentoncountymuseum.org. Games at Old World. Old World Deli, 341 SW 2nd St. 3 – 5 p.m. Free. On Tuesdays. Playing is healthy. Join us and others for games, for four players or more, at Old World Deli on Tuesdays from 3 to 5 p.m. All ages, bring a game or just show up. Please be fragrance-free, thanks. For info, call 541-752-0135. Chintimini Movies. Chintimini Senior and Community Center, 2601 NW Tyler Ave. 1:30 p.m. Cost: $2. Concessions will be available to purchase. Closed captioning available on request. For info, call 541-766-6959. The Majestic Reader’s Theater. The Majestic Theatre, 115 SW 2nd Ave. 3 – 5 p.m. and 7 – 9 p.m. Cost: $10; $8 for students and seniors. Last Sundays. The company will offer a production in the reader’s theater style: trained actors, with scripts in hand, make the play come alive through vocal talent, facial expressions, and minimal staging. Reader’s theater plays are a fun, accessible way to experience contemporary works by famous modern playwrights that might not otherwise be performed here. For info or tickets, visit https://majesticreaderstheater. wordpress.com. Spanish Circle. Madison Plaza Underground, 425 SW Madison Ave. 6 p.m. to consider edible plants as an option when they landscape their yards, thereby increasing home food production in our community. In addition to fostering greater self-reliance, the team hopes to involve more people in the joys and health benefits of edible front yard gardening: regular exercise, fresh air, healthful and delicious food, and a sense of connection to the neighborhood — and to the earth. For info, visit www.sustainablecorvallis.org. Free Range Open Mic. Cloud & Kelly’s Public House, 126 1st St. 8:30 p.m. Free. In the spirit of fostering camaraderie in the Corvallis music scene and creation of new bands/projects, we give you Free Range Open Mic Night. This rotating event Free. Last Wednesdays. ZENpui believes that everyone in the world needs to know at least two languages. They know quite a few people that would benefit a lot from the language for their work and Ani from ZENpui would like to facilitate a practical way of expanding people’s knowledge of Spanish. This is a free event, you can bring something to share if you’d like and you can bring anyone. For info, visit www. zenpui.com. Makers Club. Corvallis-Benton County Public Library, 645 NW Monroe Ave. 4 – 5:30 p.m. Tuesdays. Youth aged 10 to 18 learn basic programming with Arduino and Raspberry Pi, plus explore 3-D printing and other technologies. Makers Club meets on the second and fourth Tuesdays of each month at 4 p.m. For info, visit www. cbcpubliclibrary.net. Teen Writers. Corvallis-Benton County Public Library, 645 NW Monroe Ave. 4 – 5:30 p.m. Thursdays. Teens in middle and high school are invited to this writers’ group focused on exploring writing with other teens. Meets every first and third Thursday. Led by Rita Feinstein, MFA student, OSU. For info, visit www. cbcpubliclibrary.net. Hula Classes. First Baptist Church, 125 NW 10th St. 5:30 – 7:15 p.m. Mondays. Come experience a bit of Island Aloha by learning Hula. The first class, from 5:30 to 6 p.m., is for those who have never danced Hula. It’s a chance to learn the basic steps and hand movements. From 6 to 7:15 p.m., the class is for all students where we learn new dances and review the ones we have already learned. For info, contact [email protected]. Corvallis Community Drum Circle. Corvallis Riverfront Park, NW 1st St. 7 – 8 p.m. Free. First Saturdays. All ages and skill levels welcome. Instruments provided or bring your own. For info, contact Michelle Lovrich at [email protected]. Ukulele Cabaret. First Alternative South Store, 1007 SE 3rd St. 7 – 9 p.m. First Fridays except July and November. Free. This is an open mic and sing-along for ukulele players of all ages and skill levels. Songbooks and instruction are provided. Bring snacks to share. Hosted by Suz Doyle and Jeanne Holmes. For info, call 541-7538530. Reiki Healing Circle. 8285 NW Wynoochee Dr. 7 – 9 p.m. First Thursdays. Donation: $5 to $10. All students and interested parties welcome. For info, call Margo at 541-754-3595. will move between Bombs Away Cafe and Cloud & Kelly’s Public House on alternating dates so that it occurs twice per month. It is our hope that the event will settle down to be on Thursday nights, but we’ll see what works best for all involved. It is our hope that this event will fill the three most sacred purposes of open mic nights: Giving new artists encouragement to keep playing and learn how to play in front of others. Getting area musicians to drink together, play together, and thus form new bands. And creating a scene of musicians who care about other musicians by giving them a reason and place to socialize. Steve Hunter will be signing people up starting at 7 p.m. For info, visit www.cloudandkellys.com. 8 days a week... ate pick A dvoc Tom Baker s... By Thursday, August 11 Free Range Open Mic Cloud & Kelly’s Public House, 126 1st St. 8:30 p.m. Free. Sign-up starts at 7 p.m., so don’t be late. There are a few great open mics around here, and if you’re a musician, this might be your favorite of the lot. Hosted by kid-tested, mother-approved local music scene guru Steve Hunter, your excuses for not at least showing up for a random array of excellent performances is exactly equal to the number of ducks I give. Oh yes, ducks. For pleasant but hardcore information, visit www. cloudandkellys.com. Thirsty Thursday Trivia Deluxe Brewing Company, 635 NE Water Ave., Albany. 7 p.m. No cover, but 21+. Sometimes I just need to get out and do something different. I never do, because I’m lazy, but I trust that you’re a better person than I am. How about trying this on for size: team-based trivia. And, of course, slamming beers. Did I mention that there are prizes? No, I didn’t. Well, now I have. Always contradicting myself. Get crunked, win stuff. For more delicious info, visit www.sinisterdeluxe.com. Saturday, August 13 Friday, August 12 Total Elvis Fitness The Road Sodas Old World Deli, 341 SW 2nd St. 7 p.m. Free. Imagine Coffee, 5460 SW Philomath Blvd. 7 – 9 p.m. Free. A banjo and guitar duet, folksy as all hell (from the few songs I was able to listen to I got a bit of an Irish folk vibe, but maybe not...) and worth your ear time. Oh, ear time? That’s time that you use your ears to hear things. Why is it not “ears time” so the continuity of the plural carries over? How the hell should I know? Stop bothering me and check out the following website for more information, good lord...: www.imaginecoffee.net. The Outletz Bombs Away Café, 2527 NW Monroe Ave. 9:30 p.m. Cost: $3. The OutLetZ have a motto, and it goes a little something like this: “Plug in, turn on, ROCK OUT!” Only, the thing is… this doesn’t do them much justice. A truly great, higher energy blues act from right here in Jamvallis… If you’re into being assaulted by the blues, forget your Friday night plans and make your way to Bombs Away (and that rhymes so now you have to). For 12 bars of information, visit www.bombsawaycafe.com. I’m not sure how else to break this to you, but it’s basically a full hour of music, comedy, and “calisthenics” (sorry, it went over my syllable quota). With… Elvis. As in, Presley. All ages. For the deep scoop, pay a visit to Old World Deli (or give them a ring at 541-752-8549 ). Also, and if someone asks I did not give you this advice… Maybe you should dress up like Elvis yourself? I’m thinking the sweat will be worth it. Cherry and the Lowboys Bombs Away Café, 2527 NW Monroe Ave. 9:30 p.m. Cost: $5. Cherry and the Lowboys serve up greasy grooves inspired by classic hot rod culture. Their words, not mine… though I don’t mind backing them up. Rockabilly and blues that may not melt your face, but will definitely melt some butter on a tall stack of flapjacks. Blues-a-billy at its finest and, from my perspective, its most authentic. As Coolio said, “You gotta get up to get down.” For more information... maybe visit www.bombsawaycafe.com. Don’t tell anyone I gave that to you. Sunday, August 14 Bard in the Quad: Love’s Labour’s Lost Memorial Union Quad, 2501 SW Jefferson Way. 7:30 p.m. Cost: $15 general admission, $10 students and seniors, $5 for OSU students. Eleven seasons in, there’s really only one relevant thing to say about Bard in the Quad: it’s almost always excellent. That’s not sensationalism, I truly mean excellent. This time around they’re putting on Love’s Labour’s Lost, with performances held at 7:30 p.m. from Aug. 11 to 14 right on the Quad. Honestly, what’s not to love about casual, outdoor summer viewings on the classics performed by people who love them? No seating is provided, but you’re welcome to bring low lawn chairs and blankets. If you suck at adulting and can’t remember to dress yourself for the occasion, please remember warm clothing. If you want to sneak in a picnic… it’s cool, don’t sneak. You’ll look suspicious. For truly Shakespearean information, visit www.bardinthequad.org. o ion dit a Tr f Making Chocolate By Know Your Locals! Ha n d A Monday, Aug. 15-Thursday, Aug. 18 on the flip side ...since 1938 353 SW Madison Ave., Downtown Corvallis (541) 753-2864 www.burstschocolates.com 541-752-5151 www.woodstocks.com www.sustainablecorvallis.org | www.corvallisiba.org We Deliver (to most of Corvallis) Corvallis Advocate | 13 Tuesday, August 16 Monday, August 15 Oregon State University Faculty Art Exhibit Fairbanks Gallery, Fairbanks Hall, 220 SW 26th St. 8 a.m. – 5 p.m. Free. Oh yes, I’m here to bug you about this fantastic show again. Trust me, folks, it’s for your own good. Easily one of, if not the best, art shows of the year, each and every contributing artist is a master at their craft. Do you have any idea how hard it is to become art faculty at a major university? They’re that good. If not now, catch it before it is taken down at the end of September. Absolutely a must-view for any local art lover. If I could legally threaten you, I would. Open during the CAW, maybe make it your first stop? Advocate for Your Business... advertise [email protected] | 541.766.3675 Community Movie Night Wednesday, August 17 Darkside Cinema, 215 SW 4th St. 7 p.m. Free. Temporary Artists’ Guild Art Show Every Tuesday at the Darkside Cinema: fantastic old movies complete with period accurate news reels and cartoons. The lost, the cult… the classic, generated by all the bodies that helped forge the industry. Please do treat yourself—you’re unlikely to regret it unless you trip and fall on your face walking there. Best theater in town and Corvallis’ only independent movie house, donations are graciously accepted and benefit the renovation of the Darkside Cinema. For the pertinent info, visit www. cmnyk.wordpress.com or www.facebook.com/ freemovienightcorvallis. Studio262, 425 SW Madison Ave. 12 – 5:30 p.m. Colleen: Completely Beyond Downtown Dog, 780 S Main St., Lebanon. 6 – 8 p.m. Free. Let me lay this on you, folks… direct from the press release: “Colleen and her virtual band will be playing pop and jazz classics while you enjoy a Tuesday dog nosh.” Virtual band? Some sort of thing called a “dog nosh”… let’s just go ahead and mark this on our calendars. Also, it doesn’t hurt that this is a pretty awesome venue. For nosh, visit www.colleenkitchen.com. Looking for another great art show in town? Look no further than the Temporary Artists’ Guild’s latest offering. Open every day at Studio 262, beat the murderous crowds and show up today, rather than at the CAW. OK, show up on both days—it’s worth it. The exhibit is open through Sept. 10. Not familiar with the guild? It’s basically a ragtag group of really talented people that all work in very different ways. Eclectic doesn’t quite do it justice. If you’re an art lover and find yourself on the lookout for something different, this is it. Scout’s honor. For more information, check out the Temporary Artists Guild on Facebook. Like Us On Facebook Thursday, August 18 Walk the CAW Downtown Corvallis. All day. Free. CAW: noun, the sound a bird makes while it is taunting you from up on the power lines. Also, it’s the word people say a lot right around the third Thursday of the month. Guess what day it is? Indeed. If you haven’t taken a ride on the CAW train (apologies, there is no train), you better get out and give it a shot before summer is over and you have to start cursing out loud all the time because you can’t seem to remember your umbrella. Oh, I should probably mention that along the CAW trail, you’re going to see some of the best art in the state. No big deal. For artistic information, visit www.corvallisartwalk.com. Submit: Do you know of an upcoming event? Email us and we’ll add it to the web calendar [email protected] Authentic Italian Meats & Cheeses Natalia & Cristoforo’s Buy • SellBooks • Trade priC Cheap Espresso, Great Food & Local Artists... 351 NW Jackson St. #2 • Corvallis 541.752.1114 Every Monday: Bryson Skaar, piano, 7-9pm Every Tuesday: Celtic Jam, 7-9pm Every Saturday:Story Time, 10am 2nd Thursday: Acoustic Open Mic, 7-9pm Alchemist Best Sandwich Shop Winner Advocate Selection as a Hidden Foodie Find 5460 SW Philomath Blvd — www.imaginecoffee.net Wine Classes • Party Trays 14 | Corvallis Advocate Just West of 53rd, Between Corvallis & Philomath Corvallis Corvallis 121 NW 4th St. • 541-758-1121 Buy • sell 541-758-1121 Albany 121 NW 4th St. Trade 1425 Pacific Blvd. • 541-926-2612 OUTDOOR SEATING & EXPANDED FOOD MENU FAMILY OWNED & OPERATED 12 BEERS ON TAP WINE & CIDER AVAILABLE Visit our taproom located 2 miles east of downtown Corvallis on Highway 34 /MazamaBrewing www.MazamaBrewing.com MazamaBrewing Corvallis Advocate | 15 August 10 th – August 16th ORGANIC ORGANIC Red Grapes Broccolini Reg. $2.99/lb Reg. $2.99/ea 1 /lb 1 /ea $ .99 $ .99 ORGANIC Spring Hill Farm ORGANIC Black Mission Figs Green Bell Pepper Reg. $4.99/lb Reg. $4.99/ea 1 /lb 3 /ea $ .99 $ .99 ORGANIC Portabella Kent & Keitt Mango 5 /lb 5/$5 ORGANIC Reg. $1.99/ea Reg. $7.99/lb $ .99 Co-op Kitchen Co-op Kitchen Coleslaw Fried Chicken Reg. $12.99/lb Reg. $5.99/lb First Alternative 9 /lb $ .99 4 /lb $ .99 NATURAL FOODS CO-OP South Corvallis North Corvallis 1007 SE 3rd St. 2855 NW Grant Ave. Open Daily 7am-10pm www.firstalt.coop
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