Ethiopia Adoption opens newsong in korea

Transcription

Ethiopia Adoption Opens
NewSong in Korea
Winter 2008 Vol. 50 No. 1
Ethiopian Adoption
the way opens...
Holt is now placing
children from this
African nation
FINDINGFAMILIES
FORCHILDREN
Request an adoption information packet: www.holtinternational.org/ethiopia
Dear Readers
After touring Holt programs in Korea recently, the Christian music group NewSong
returned to America bringing an extra special gift—a little boy named Tae-yeoung
who was traveling to his adoptive family.
It was a little rough at first. Tae-yeoung was pretty sure he didn’t want to go with
this group of foreigners. But within an hour of leaving the Holt Children’s Services
of Korea office, Tae-yeoung had come to accept the care of band members and
their spouses. Over the next 13 hours, they took turns holding, playing with and
caring for the little boy. In that short time, they grew very fond of “the little man.”
They also developed some seriously protective feelings toward him.
Having escorted a number of children to their families in the United States, I can
tell you that it’s an awesome responsibility, caring for and bringing a young child
across the ocean to his or her adoptive family. You don’t need to remind yourself
that someone’s son or daughter is depending upon you for their every need and
safety.
For the members of NewSong, those feelings were reinforced by the tears of Taeyeoung’s foster mother. Her love and devotion had nurtured this little boy, and
somehow she had the strength to entrust him to the band members for this journey.
In many ways Tae-yeoung’s travel with NewSong was just a brief movie clip of the
longer endeavor of caring for and bringing him home. Caregivers, social workers,
the foster family, sponsors, donors and birth parents, too, all helped in the caring
and bringing of Tae-yeoung to his adoptive family. All developed a bond of caring for this precious life. Those protective feelings were valid for everyone along the
way.
On the plane NewSong leader Eddie Carswell held Tae-yeoung and shared some of
his thoughts about Holt’s efforts for homeless children:
“Somewhere Harry and Bertha Holt are smiling,” he said, “because this is what
they wanted to happen. ‘Every child deserves a home,’ they said. And this little
man—Tae-yeoung, who has already been well cared for by a foster family over the
last 10 months—he’s about to have a brand new loving family. Harry and Bertha
should be proud. God is still doing a great work with what they started.”
—John Aeby, Editor
contents
newsong visits korea
Where Past and Future Converge
A Life Filled with Art—and Ellie
The Absolute Love
24
inspiration
Praying for Holt’s Children
departments
Update
Directions Around the Globe
From the Family
Family Tree
Waiting Child
Neighborhood Calendar
30
4
5
12
14
18
26
31
In 1955 Harry and Bertha Holt responded to the conviction that God had called them to help
children left homeless by the Korean War. Though it took an act of the U.S. Congress, the
Holts adopted eight of those children. But they were moved by the desperate plight of other
orphaned children in Korea and other countries as well, so they founded Holt International
Children’s Services in order to unite homeless children with families who would love them
as their own. Today Holt International serves children and families in Cambodia, China,
Democratic People’s Republic of Korea (North Korea), Ethiopia, Guatemala, Haiti, India,
Kazakhstan, Kyrgyzstan, Mongolia, Nepal, the Philippines, the Republic of Korea (South Korea),
Romania, South Africa, Thailand, Uganda, Ukraine, the United States and Vietnam.
President & CEO Gary N. Gamer
Vice-President of Marketing & Development Phillip A. Littleton
Vice-President of Public Policy & Advocacy Susan Soon-keum Cox
Vice-President of Finance & Administration Kevin Sweeney
Senior Executives of Programs & Services Dan Lauer; Robin Mauney; Lisa Vertulfo
Senior Advisor, Korea David Lim
Board of Directors
Chair Kim S. Brown Vice-Chair Will C. Dantzler President Emeritus Dr. David H. Kim
Secretary Claire A. Noland Members Andrew R. Bailey, Julia K. Banta, James D. Barfoot,
Rebecca C. Brandt, Dean Bruns, Wilma R. Cheney, Clinton C. Cottrell, Cynthia G. Davis, A. Paul
Disdier, Rosser B. Edwards, Kim A. Hanson, Joseph P. Matturro, Jeffrey B. Saddington, Richard J.
Salko, Shirley M. Stewart, Steven G. Stirling, Francis W. Wankowicz
Holt International magazine is published quarterly by Holt International Children’s Services,
Inc., a nonprofit Christian child welfare organization. While Holt International is responsible
for the content of Holt International magazine, the viewpoints expressed in this publication are
not necessarily those of the organization.
Editor John Aeby
Managing Editor Alice Evans
Graphics Brian Campbell, Alice Evans, Chloe Goldbloom
Subscription Orders/Inquiries and Address Changes
Send all editorial correspondence and changes of address to Holt International magazine,
Holt International, P.O. Box 2880, Eugene, OR 97402. We ask for an annual donation of $20 to
cover the cost of publication and mailing inside the United States and $40 outside the United
States. Holt welcomes the contribution of letters and articles for publication, but assumes no
responsibility for return of letters, manuscripts, or photos.
California Office
3807 Pasadena Ave., Suite 115, Sacramento, CA 95821
Ph: 916/487.4658 Fax: 916/487.7068 [email protected]
16
A Korean adoptee explores identity issues
through the lens of a loving heart.
Our Vision
Holt International is dedicated to carrying out God’s plan for every child to have a permanent,
loving family.
Arkansas Office
25 Whispering Drive, Edgemont, AR 72044
Ph/Fax: 501/723.4444 [email protected]
Artist and adoptive mom Sally Weiner finds
a new way to help children.
adoptees today
Holt International Children’s Services
P.O. Box 2880 (1195 City View) Eugene, OR 97402
Ph: 541/687.2202 Fax: 541/683.6175
Reprint Information
Permission from Holt International is required prior to reprinting any portion of Holt
International magazine. Please direct reprint requests to editor John Aeby at 541/687.2202 or
[email protected].
6
The well-known Christian music group
experiences the rich history of Holt’s work
in Korea.
portraits
Winter 2008 vol. 50 no. 1
Midwest Office Serving Iowa, Nebraska and South Dakota
10685 Bedford Ave., Suite 300, Omaha, NE 68134
NewSong band member Matt Butler
holds a child in care at the Holt
Children’s Services Reception Center
in Seoul, Korea.
Missouri Office/Kansas Office
203 Huntington Rd., Kansas City, MO 64113
Ph: 816/822.2169 Fax: 816/523.8379
122 W. 5th St., Garnett, KS 66032 [email protected]
New Jersey Office
340 Scotch Rd. (2nd Floor), Trenton, NJ 08628
Oregon Office
Capitol Plaza 9320 SW Barbur Blvd., Suite 220, Portland, OR 97219
Copyright ©2008 by Holt International Children’s Services, Inc.
ISSN 1047-7640
ACCREDITED BY
COUNCIL ON
ACCREDITATION
www.holtinternational.org 3
update
Adoptees Greet Mongolia‘s First Lady
Six Holt adoptees from Mongolia, ranging in age from 16 months to almost 5
years, recently enjoyed the company of the First Lady of Mongolia, Tsolmon Onon
Enkhbayar, at a tea held in her honor in the Washington D.C. Metropolitan Area.
Adoptive parents Katie and Mike Beach sponsored the tea in their home while the
First Lady was in the United States on official business. Their daughter, Olivia,
enjoyed a peek inside Holt International magazine with the First Lady. Olivia’s
grandfather, Mr. Alphonse La Porta, is the former U.S. Ambassador to Mongolia.
Holt President and CEO Gary Gamer emphasized the importance of the First
Lady’s visit. “First Ladies around the world have taken a special interest in the
challenges facing children—and adoption in particular,” he said. “We are honored
that the First Lady of Mongolia took time out of her demanding schedule to visit
with Olivia and other adoptees from Mongolia and their families. Intercountry
adoption is not well understood and in some instances opposed in a number of
countries where we work. For a First Lady to experience firsthand the love and
support adopted children get from their families is a tremendous opportunity to ensure other
children in need of families will have the same chance in life.”
Hague Ratification
The Hague, Netherlands—The U.S. Assistant
Secretary of State for Consular Affairs,
Maura Harty, deposited the ratification
documents of The Hague Convention on
Protection of Children and Co-operation
in Respect of Intercountry Adoption on
December 12. Signed by President George
W. Bush in November, the documents mark
an historic milestone. The treaty “will benefit thousands of orphaned children around
the world, and American families seeking
to adopt them,” Ambassador Harty commented. Holt International sat at the table
in The Hague when the treaty was being
formulated in the early 1980s and continued to advocate steadily for its formulation
into law and application of principles.
Skating Success
Congratulations to Max Settlage, his family and skating partner. Adopted through
Holt International from Vietnam in 1992 by
Rick and Jill Settlage of Flagstaff, Arizona,
15-year-old Max began taking skating lessons at age 10 so he could skate with
friends at a birthday party. In December,
Max and his pairs partner, Caitlin Fields,
12, won the silver medal in juvenile pairs
at the U.S. Junior National Figure Skating
Championship in Salt Lake City. They
are now eligible to apply for the U.S.
National Pairs Development Camp at the
U.S. Olympic Training Center in Colorado
Springs in April. Max also qualified as the
first alternate to the U.S. Championship in
intermediate men’s singles.
4
Winter 2008
Kids Publish Book
about “Grandma”
Students at the Bertha Holt Elementary
School in Eugene, Oregon, wrote
and illustrated
Holt adoptee Olivia Beach meets the First Lady of
Mongolia.
a new children’s book about the life of
Holt International founder Bertha Holt.
Publication February 5 marks the 104th
anniversary of her birth. Grandma Holt
died at age 96 and is buried at Holt Ilsan
Center outside Seoul, South Korea. ■
Graduate Photos
Deadline for photos of Holt adoptees who
are graduating from high school and college is June 1. Short stories from families
about their graduate are also welcome. Go
to holtinternational.org/gradsubmissions for
the Graduate Submission Form. Send stories to [email protected]
Holt Events
Holt’s Colors of Hope Dinner Auction held
in Portland, Oregon, October 20 to benefit
the children of Haiti broke the Holt event
record with almost $160,000 raised for a
single event. With 336 participants, over
$35,000 was generated specifically for the
program in Haiti through a special giving
opportunity called “Make a Difference.”
Meanwhile, at a new Benefit Art Auction
in Texas at Paradise Cove in
Grapevine, where the venue and
food were both donated, about
$10,500 was generated to help
children in Holt’s care who are
affected by HIV/AIDS.
directions
Closing the Circle
The work of an adoptee
demonstrates the growing influence of
Holt on the world stage
by Gary N. Gamer, President and CEO
A
At a time when the world seems divided in so many ways, it
is invigorating to be a part of a community of individuals who
work together across oceans and continents to make such a
profound difference in the lives of children and families around
the world.
While it’s always been Holt’s mission to change children’s
lives in dramatically beneficial ways, I was reminded recently
that Holt’s work and influence is growing wider and deeper as
the children we help are reaching maturity—and bringing their
capabilities onto the world’s stage.
At an adoption ethics conference I listened to a speech by Jini
Roby, one of the early Holt adoptees from Korea. She is a university professor with degrees in law and social work who spoke
at the conference about research she conducted on our work in
Uganda.
In Uganda, Holt International works with Action for Children to create stable new
family units and enable children to attend school. Child sponsors lend support
through the Holt Sponsorship Program.
later told me that she was a bit nervous as a researcher with the
lopsidedness of this evidence. But she assured me it was valid.
You can read her entire article in the January-March issue of
Families in Society, a top-ranking social work journal.
Professor Roby described the results of her team’s interviews of
over one thousand children affected by the AIDS pandemic and
approximately 300 families who care for these orphans with help
from Holt’s Ugandan partner Action for Children.
A U.S. family adopted Jini Roby decades ago. Their love and
support helped her to build her God-given skills to become a child
welfare expert helping many other children in the world in need
of families.
I sensed her passion growing as she described the impact of our
support. She highlighted the equal access these children receive
in key indicators of education and food when compared to the
biological children of supporting families. Not only this, but she
also measured the children’s sense of belonging and permanence
with their current family. Remarkably, 94 percent of the children
felt a strong sense of belonging and expected to grow into adulthood in these families.
That Professor Roby chose to talk about Holt’s community based
family preservation work in Uganda at the beginning of an adoption conference is noteworthy. She was emphasizing the responsibility agencies have to take their expertise and commitment in
adoption and apply this child welfare capacity to the multitudes
of children needing families in other ways and in other crisis situations.
Similarly, the research showed that about 92 percent of the
adults were strongly committed to caring for these children at least
through the age of 18. (Any hesitation on their part was attributed
to their own failing health, not to
commitment.) Roby noted that
this is a much higher rate than
children in foster care in the
United States can hope for, at a
fraction of the cost.
Although the communities we
work in are very poor, Professor
Roby concluded that the youth
were happy and felt loved, and
had hope for the future. She
Professor Jini Roby was adopted through
Holt Children‘s Services of Korea.
In a wonderful way, Jini Roby represents the profound deepening of Holt’s mission through the years. One of 75,000 Korean
children that Holt has supported since 1955, she and other adult
adoptees have remarkable life experiences and expertise to
inspire, inform and lead us in exciting and most meaningful new
ways. ■
Adoptee Outreach
Holt is expanding its adult adoptee outreach program, and
would like to hear from adoptees to learn
what interests them.
Go to www.holtinternational.org/adopteestoday to fill out
our online questionnaire, and to review our calendar.
For more information contact: Tawnya Shumway, Adoptee
Outreach Coordinator at [email protected]
Where the Past and Future of
Holt’s Work Converge
When the Christian music group NewSong visited
Holt’s work in Korea recently, band members got to
experience the rich history and the deep capability of
Holt Children’s Services of Korea to care
for homeless children.
by John Aeby
Director of Communications
M
Matt Butler bent down to show a little boy in a wheelchair the
photo he just took of him on a digital camera. But with an unexpectedly deft movement, the little boy reached out and took the
camera with both hands. Immediately the boy’s face bloomed into
a broad smile making his eyes squeeze nearly closed.
International founders. Molly has served the children of Korea for
50 years. Though chair of the board of Holt Children’s Services
of Korea, Molly continues to live and serve children at the Ilsan
Center. She simply added chairperson duties to her higher priority—the children and residents of Ilsan.
“It’s his camera now,” teased Nate Sallie. And soon all four band
members were kneeling around the little boy whose infectious grin
induced gales of laughter.
Molly lives in one of the few original buildings on the complex.
Nearly 300 children and older residents with disabilities live and
develop skills for life at the Holt Ilsan Center, a stop on NewSong’s
whirlwind tour of the Holt Korea program. Harry and Bertha Holt
started their work in Korea over 50 years ago.
At Ilsan the band toured education and therapy facilities, as well
as the apartments where younger residents live and are cared for
by a battalion of staff and volunteers. These dedicated people
seem in constant motion, moving, feeding and working with each
child according to their individual abilities and needs. And it
shows. Despite disabilities that are often severe, residents keep
busy with life and learning. A few from Ilsan are adopted. Many
eventually develop sufficient skills to live independently.
The band met Molly Holt, the eldest living daughter of the Holt
6
Winter 2008
Eddie Carswell
It’s amazing for us to see how the people here at the Ilsan Center follow the example of Harry and Bertha Holt and take disabled children
in and love and care for them…. When we met Molly Holt, I noticed
she kept saying, “We’re so thankful,” even for the little things. I’m
sure that Molly’s mom and dad taught her that great thankfulness.
Like Ilsan, it holds a lot of history. Her father built the home in the
early 1960s, and he died there in 1964 bringing newly abandoned
children into care.
Molly’s house is a microcosm of Ilsan life. Several children and
residents live with Molly where volunteers help her care for children who have just come to Ilsan and for those needing special
care. A new arrival will spend several weeks there so that Molly
Left: Matt Butler and Eddie Carswell of NewSong interact with a boy at Holt’s Ilsan Center for disabled children in Korea. Left background: Molly and Barbara Holt
with children in a Holt childcare home, 1956. Top right: NewSong band members Nate Sallie, Matt Butler, Billy Goodwin and Eddie Carswell hold children at the Holt
Reception Center in Seoul, Korea. Above: Eddie and Billy with children at the Holt Jeonju Baby Home.
can evaluate the child’s needs and capabilities. Eventually Molly
will transfer the child to live in one of the apartments with other
children. Molly and a team of other Holt staff—doctors, social
workers, caregivers—will outline a plan of care to help the child
develop his or her capabilities.
When the band arrived at Molly’s house, she was feeding Lee,
Won-bok, a long-time resident of Ilsan. Cerebral palsy had affected
Won-bok’s speech and limbs, but until recently she had lived and
worked productively at the Center. Now, CP has begun to constrict
her throat, hindering her ability to eat and swallow food.
“She’s had two surgeries to ease the problem,” says Molly, “but
it’s not working very well, and ‘Wonboki’ has decided not to have
any more surgeries.” Molly’s tender words reveal the love and
respect she feels for her old friend.
Later the band stands on the hillside before the graves of Harry
and Bertha Holt. In that quiet place, with the activity of hundreds
of children in the buildings below, the band members contemplate
the profound impact of this very regular couple who dedicated
themselves to serve the Lord.
Harry built the Ilsan Center to nurture homeless children until
they could be adopted, but he also took in children with disabilities
though he knew that many would probably not be adopted. Over
the years Ilsan evolved into a home for disabled children. Ilsan
was renovated in the 1980s into a campus specifically designed for
the disabled. Now a world-class facility for disabled people, Ilsan
still relies upon the basic principles of care established by Harry
Holt—that children need more than food and shelter—they need
Nate Sallie
Just touring these facilities, seeing the children, seeing their smiles
and how energetic they are and the life that is in every one of the
homes here at the Holt facility, it’s obvious that Harry and Bertha
Holt came to serve. They gave whole-heartedly to these children and
that’s a legacy they’ve passed on.
love, affection, security and a sense of belonging to have the hope
necessary to develop their abilities.
After Harry’s death, his wife Bertha championed Holt’s programs, especially the Ilsan work for disabled children. Along with
Left and top center: NewSong band members brought treats for children at the Holt Jeonju Baby Home. Right: Nate holds a toddler at the Jeonju nursery. Top lower:
NewSong performed several times at churches and gatherings while touring Holt programs in Korea.
her constant support of Ilsan, Bertha helped Molly establish efforts
for residents to become independent. Many former residents
return to visit Ilsan with their spouses and children.
Today, Ilsan is a haven of peace and safety amid the sprawling
commerce of Seoul, but it’s much more. It’s also a place of empowerment for disabled young people who need a family.
Holt Jeonju Baby Home
The band arrives at the Holt Jeonju Baby Home in two cars
jammed full with people and treats for the children. As they enter
a room of preschoolers, the boys’ and girls’ excitement is nearly
palpable. But with barely contained self-control, the children hold
themselves together through several songs and children’s performances until finally the band begins to distribute their gifts.
Of course the children erupt into a frenzy. But though the
room pulsates with excitement, a few children hang back. Eddie
Carswell finds one boy sitting along a wall by himself and helps
him open a package. Billy Goodwin makes sure a tiny girl in a
red dress gets a share of the treats.
The Jeonju director and caregivers take the children’s exuberance in stride. Only once or twice do they reach out to gently
guide the excitement to within limits. Clean and well groomed, the
children are obviously well cared for at the Home. They gravitate
comfortably to the caregivers. When the director sits on the floor
among the children, three children try to find a place in her lap.
Billy Goodwin
Escorting Tae-yeoung
On the final morning of NewSong’s visit to Korea, the band
gathered in a room near the entrance of the Holt office in Seoul.
A few minutes later a diminutive foster mother entered the room
carrying a handsome little boy with thick black hair. On their
return to the United States, the band would escort this child—Taeyeoung—to his adoptive family.
As the foster mother walked into the room, band members and
their spouses strained to see this little boy whose life was about to
change in so many ways. The foster mother held Tae-yeoung close
as she struggled to maintain some composure.
Normally a Holt staff member prays over children departing for
their adoptive families, but on this occasion, they asked NewSong
to lead the prayer. The band gathered around the foster mother
and laid hands on Tae-yeoung as Nate prayed.
Then it was time to go. The foster mother purposely lifted
Tae-yeoung into Billy’s arms. Tae-yeoung let out a little cry upon
being separated from her, and the tears the foster mother had been
keeping at bay could no longer be held back. All around the room
NewSong band members and spouses shed sympathetic tears. In
that moment they all caught a glimpse of the profound and sacrificial kind of love Holt foster mothers have for their children. Taeyeoung’s foster mother had cared for this little boy for 10 months,
since the day he came into Holt’s care, just a few days after he was
born. And now she was letting him go to his permanent family.
I can’t imagine what foster parents go through to take these children
in and care for them and then give ’em up, and they do it over and
over and over again. But it makes such a difference in the lives of
children. Their personality shines, and they become part of a family.
And that’s what Holt is all about: making kids part of the family.
As band members climbed onto the bus, the foster mother dissolved into tears once again. Tae-yeoung cried and reached toward
her from inside the bus. She waved back, tears streaming down
her face. She walked along as the bus pulled away as if to stay
close to Tae-yeoung as long as possible—a heartbreaking moment
that left everyone in the NewSong entourage fairly stunned.
Somehow she finds a way to hold all three and give each one a
kiss on the cheek.
Tae-yeoung was this foster mother’s seventh Holt child. The
band struggled to comprehend the foster family’s ability to love
deeply and let go over and over again.
In the nursery upstairs, Nate picks up a toddler who seems
completely astonished by his foreign face. Several infants sleep
peacefully. For the band it’s a sobering sight.
The trip from Seoul to Jeonju involved a ride on one of
the most up-to-date high speed trains in the world, and
yet, in this home is evidence that Holt’s work is not complete. Homeless, abandoned and vulnerable children still
need caring arms, nurturing and a chance to have a family.
8 Winter 2008
Then came the realization that they were now the guardians of
this little boy—an eagerly waiting family’s son. They were to be
in charge of this most precious gift. Tae-yeoung’s safety and health
was their responsibility, and several times band members and their
spouses shared their feelings of protectiveness toward this child.
Before the band boarded their flight, Tae-yeoung seemed to
realize that he depended upon these unfamiliar people taking
him to unknown places. Out over the ocean, he was very much
Left: Eddie holds Tae-yeoung on the flight to America while one of the flight crew admires the little boy. Right: Matt brings Tae-yeoung to his adoptive mother, Michelle
Holzer. Center: Tae-yeoung, who became Max Holzer, accepts the affection of adoptive father, Dan Holzer.
at home with band members who took turns caring for him.
Inside his travel bag, the foster mother had placed a photo album.
Lovingly prepared, the album documented Tae-yeoung’s growth
from a newborn to a healthy, bright-eyed toddler, and his life with
Matt Butler
We had the amazing experience of delivering Max from Korea to his
adoptive family. We held him, took care of him, and it was hard to
let him go. He got into our hearts pretty quick. What an amazing
joy and amazing experience. He has a family and a life ahead of him.
this foster family. Some photos were professional studio shots.
Tae-yeoung should never doubt that he was loved in Korea.
After 13 hours in the air, NewSong was on the ground in the
United States. An immigration officer processed Tae-yeoung’s
documents, entering information into a computer and finally
announcing, “Welcome to America.”
From there it was a short walk to where Tae-yeoung’s new family waited anxiously. Matt carried the little boy toward a crowd
just outside a set of glass doors. It wasn’t hard to recognize the
adoptive parents who pressed to the front.
Autumn Has a Family
Last winter we reported on Autumn, a
13-year-old girl in China who had approached Jian Chen, Holt’s China Program
Manager, asking if Holt could find her a
family. Members of the NewSong band
happened to be visiting Holt programs in
China at the time, and they witnessed this
event.
Because Autumn’s eligibility for international adoption would expire in fall of 2007,
After the many months of waiting this family had endured, it
took only a moment for Matt to pass Tae-yeoung into the arms of
Michelle Holzer. And in that brief moment he became “Max,” Dan
and Michelle’s third child.
The band stood back to let the Holzer family enjoy their first
moments with their new son. Their work was done, and the
Holzer family had a new life to build together. Band members said
their farewells to Max. Then it was time to catch flights home.
In Korea, NewSong saw a program that had matured and developed. There wasn’t desperation as Harry Holt saw in the aftermath
of the Korean War where orphans filled hundreds of institutions.
Today, homeless children pass almost seamlessly into the loving
care of devoted foster mothers. Other children go into the nurturing environment of a Jeonju Baby Home. Those with disabilities
can get the specialized care of Ilsan.
The children may have lost birth parents, but they never have
to suffer the effects of inadequate institutional care or endure
poor health due to malnutrition or an unhealthy environment.
NewSong’s visit to Korea was a visit to the past, but it was also a
glimpse of the future of Holt International’s work for orphaned,
abandoned and vulnerable children around the world. ■
For NewSong's current tour dates, see www.newsongonline.com/tour
Holt and NewSong joined together in
advocating for Autumn to be adopted. A
family did come forward for Autumn, and
the family, Holt and authorities in China
all worked together to expedite Autumn’s
adoption before her eligibility ended.
In August the Gresh family traveled to
China to bring their new daughter home.
Autumn joined her adoptive family and
is now adjusting to a new life, home and
school in America.
Autumn Cloud and her new family.
sponsorship news
KOREA
Christmas Gift
Teams
Bearing gifts and hosting parties for
children in the Philippines and Korea
Nearly two dozen Holt supporters joined Holt staff on gift
giving teams to Korea and the Philippines in early December.
The Gift Teams, consisting of adoptive parents and their
children, adult adoptees, donors and child sponsors brought
holiday cheer to children in Holt’s programs.
In the Philippines, where Holt has worked in partnership
with the Kaisahang Buhay Foundation (KBF) since 1975,
the team provided meals and hosted parties for children in
Manila and Cebu. They passed out teddy bears for children
in Holt care and also delivered clothing.
Following a long tradition, the Korea Gift Team hosted a
party at the historic Ilsan Center and enjoyed skits prepared
by residents. Team members also visited the Jeonju Baby
Home, Daejon shelter for single mothers, the offices of Holt
Children’s Services of Korea and two community centers in
Busan. The team hosted a celebration dinner to honor the
Holt-Korea foster mothers. Led by David Lim, Holt staff and
Board members visited the the Office of the President of the
Republic of Korea.
To find out about next year’s Christmas gift teams, please
contact Debbie Francis at [email protected] or
call (541) 687-2202.
Korea
After breakfast our first stop was the Holt Children’s Services of
Korea main office here in Seoul. The sign on the front of the
building reads “Welcome to your Motherland.” What a statement
for the adoptees who return to their birthplace!
The first room we entered was a small room about 10’x10’, the
last stop for the babies when they are made ready for their trip
to the United States and other countries. The room is filled with
all the supplies they need for their journey—bottles, diapers,
formula, clothes, etc. The escort takes the baby from that room,
and directly to the airport.
The next room was where the foster mothers are interviewed
and get their baby assignments. While we were there, about
five foster moms and babies came in for a visit. One “mom”
had her baby tied to her back, which is very common. Also, in
this room were the little chairs that the babies are placed in for
their picture to be sent to the adoptive parents before they make
their trip. In another room, case workers processed hundreds of
forms completed by adoptive parents. It is here they make the
match of baby to adoptive family! What an important job they
have—a decision for the lifetime of a child.
While we were at the center, a family had just been united with
their baby. What an exciting day for them! Another special
moment while at the center—Juliet and Kevin Brown, who were
with us from Omaha, noticed one of the babies in the foster
mother room looked familiar. He turned out to be the baby of
a close friend of theirs who had just gotten their assignment that
week.
—Lori Stangl
10
Winter 2008
PHILIPPINES
Photos clockwise from opposite page, top left: Children play drums at Jeonju Baby Center, Korea. •
Children perform at Bethany Bulacan House, Philippines. • A child hugs a teddy bear from a Philippines
team member. • Team member Nancy Ruhoff holds a child in care, Philippines. “It is wonderful to see
firsthand the love and care that the children receive through Holt-sponsored programs,” she said. • Korea
team member Juliet Brown holds a foster baby at the Holt Children’s Services of Korea main office. • Team
member and adoptee Kelsey Dunham visits with a baby at the Holt Reception Center in Seoul, Korea. •
Philippines team member Jay Woodworth holds his sponsored child. • Boys at KBF daycare, Philippines. •
Foster mothers are honored at a special dinner hosted by the Korea Gift Team.
Philippines
Team member Jan Ahrens wrote: “Our experience visiting the caregivers
and kids in the Philippines was amazing. What impacted me most was
playing with the babies and toddlers and talking to the older children.
The joy and normalcy of childhood was obvious as the older kids told us
jokes, asked about movie stars and exchanged cultural traditions. Each
facility we visited was clean and well cared for. The caregivers were
awesome... we could see the love on their faces and the bonds they have
built with the kids. I am completely impressed with the ongoing work
and mission of Holt, especially now that I have seen it in action in the
faces of the children of the Philippines!”
Globe
Children in Holt care in Mongolia go sightseeing.
Mongolia
Kindergarten children in Holt care in
Mongolia went sightseeing in October,
something they rarely do. Twenty children
and five caregivers visited monument sites,
played at an amusement place for children
and ordered lunch. Kindergarten director
Tungalag expressed her appreciation to the
Holt donors and sponsors who made the
outing possible.
Romania
Its exterior nearly complete, the new parent resource center and office building
for Holt Romania Foundation’s national
headquarters in Constanta was recently put
to bed for the winter. HRF Director Livia
Trif reports that work on the interior will
resume in spring. The building is being
funded by Holt donors, with
the original $50,000 contribution from an anonymous
adoptive family. As a leading proponent
of child welfare in Romania since 1992,
HRF will provide space for parent training classes at its new center. The center
will also be a community meeting space
for parents and children. HRF focuses on
keeping families together and warding off
child abandonment in this nation that no
longer allows international adoption.
2008 Romania Family Tour
A summer tour is in the works geared
toward all families with children adopted
from Romania and adult adoptees. The two
week tour will combine sightseeing, visits
to birthplaces of adoptees, meetings with
local authorities and trips to view current
Holt community service programs. For
more information e-mail Holt’s European
and Central Asia Program Assistant, Joanne
Stanley, at [email protected]
Guatemala
In December, Guatemala’s legislature
approved a new law that significantly
reforms that country’s adoption system.
One requirement of the law will be that all
orphanages must register with the newly
created National Adoption Council, which
will be responsible for informing birth
parents of their options. In support of
these changes, Holt and Bienestar Social,
the Guatemalan social welfare agency,
have just completed a survey of over 100
childcare institutions. The survey is part
of a project to provide training in “best
practices” in child welfare in Guatemala,
funded through a grant from U.S. Agency
for International Development (USAID).
Chloe’s Kids
Holt International will work with Guatemala
City-based Associación para la Integración
Familiar, its longtime partner, in overseeing the administration of “Chloe’s Kids,”
a program established to provide support
to impoverished children in Guatemala.
Chloe Coleman, a native of Guatemala City,
was adopted by Jon and Linda Coleman
Livia Trif, Director of Holt Romania Foundation,
showed Holt staff and donors the building lot for the
new parent resource center and office building last
June. Recent photos show the progress of the building, under construction in Constanta.
12
Winter 2008
at 6 months old and died last summer at
age 14. Jon Coleman and family established Chloe’s Kids in her memory. “I
am pleased to tell you that nearly $45,000
has been donated in Chloe’s memory,”
Coleman said in a letter to family and
friends. Further donations can be made
through the Holt website or by calling
(541) 687-2202.
Ukraine
Fourteen street children who took part
in a summer camp supported by Holt’s
Families for Children Program with a
USAID grant have gone on to live at
Father’s House, a faith-based nonprofit
in Kiev. Others were reintegrated into
their birth families, or placed within
the extended family. Highlighted in the
Summer 2007 issue of Holt International
magazine, the yearly camp is held on the
Island of Treasures in the Dnipro River.
The children, ages 5 to 12, are chosen by
the Father’s House staff as likely candidates for rehabilitation.
Holt social worker Angie Wharfield visited
Ukraine in November to train Ukrainian
professionals on social work skills and
practice, with the goal to help better
serve Ukrainian children and families.
Wharfield said she felt “inspired and honored” by those she trained. “They have
remarkable motivation, dedication and
desire to do their part in making a difference in the lives of children and families
in their communities.”
Ethiopia
Officially registered as an adoption agency
with the Ethiopian government since early
January, Holt International is now accepting applications from families ready to
begin the adoption process from this
African nation. Families are needed for
boys and girls of varying ages. Holt’s program is based in Addis Ababa, Ethiopia’s
capital city, with humanitarian aid projects
focused on serving the southern region of
Ethiopia.
Haiti
A thank you to all who donated funds for
a new truck for Holt Fontana Village. Staff
use the truck to transport children in care
to school, hospital and elsewhere. Thanks
also for donations toward the purchase of
24 batteries for the solar power system
used to provide electricity to the Village,
and for the financing of four new houses,
which will allow many more children to
come into care.
China
An outing of any sort is rare for children in
orphanages in China. But these children
from Holt’s Group Home from Nanchang
orphanage in Jiangxi province got the
thrill of their lives when Holt sponsors and
donors underwrote a raft trip on the Lu Ya
River in the Shang Zhua Lun National Park
this past July.
A Child from Ethiopia
Theo’s Story*
A young mother came to the childcare
center carrying her 15-day-old baby. Ten
hours she walked from her village, and she
was unable to nurse her baby for several
days.
Because of the nature of the pregnancy,
she had been rejected by her family.
Holt workers at the intake center gave the
mother food, and they bathed and fed the
child. Baby Theo clearly needed medical
attention and workers took him
to a doctor.
His mother later chose for him to be
adopted and released him into Holt‘s care,
where he is growing stronger every day.
Baby Theo and other children from the
intake center in southern Ethiopia will live
at Holt’s foster care home in Addis Ababa
while waiting to be matched with their
adoptive families. Every child at the center
relies upon Holt supporters for essential
supplies.
* name has been changed
Children from a Chinese group home enjoy a donor-sponsored outing.
In both photographs, Baby Theo is shown in the arms
of a Holt caregiver. He is getting the care he needs to
thrive at the new Holt center in Addis Ababa.
from the family
A Friendship Restored
Bonds forged in an orphanage are hard to preserve but can
bring great joy to children who have already lost so much
I
by Robert Vogelsang and Rita Ennis / Phoenix, Maryland
It all began just after we received confirmation of Min Yi’s placement with our
family, when we asked the simple question: “Does she have any close playmates
or friends at the orphanage?” The answer
we got was yes, our 2½ year old Min Yi
did have a close friend, Bah Ah Ning, a
boy almost 9 months older. They had the
common bond of cleft lip and palate, and
they played together and supported each
other against some of the bigger kids in the
orphanage. Indeed, most photographs sent
to us later showed Min Yi alongside Ning,
holding hands or just standing side by
side. Their legally required abandonment/
search advertisements were even printed
side-by-side in the same newspaper. Our
understanding was they were so close as
buddies that our first instinct was to see if
we could adopt Ning as well.
When we finally met Min Yi, or Ellie as
we would come to name her, some months
later in our hotel
room in Guiyang,
China, it was her
first extended trip
away from the
orphanage. She
had gotten up at
4:30 a.m. to make
the long 2½-hour
journey from her
orphanage to us.
We felt regret and
sadness when
we learned that
Ellie left without being able
to say goodbye
to Ning.
We
were told by
the orphanage
director
that
Ning had left the orphanage
several days earlier for surgery. We realized that when Ning returned and found
Min Yi gone, he might miss her terribly.
This little boy would have had so much
sorrow and loss in his young life.
While we were in China, our Holt representative inquired about Ning for us
14
Winter 2008
and found that he had been assigned to
another agency to be available for adoption. We resolved to try to follow Ning’s
journey with the hope that someday the
two friends would be reunited.
Our bonding with Ellie upon our return
home went remarkably well and the surgery to close her cleft palate exceeded our
expectations and hopes. Yet frequently,
Ellie looked wistfully at photographs from
the orphanage and pointed to Ning and
several of her caregivers. During one of
our follow-up visits with our adoption
agency, we inquired about the status of
Ning and how we could secure the address
of the family into which he had been
placed. The response was that with privacy and other governmental restrictions,
there was little chance to find out what had
happened to little Ning.
Searching for Ning
About five months later, our sadness turned
to resolve to search for Ning online, to
find any information that might lead us to
Ning and his new family. We even fantasized that he might be just a few miles
away. We looked at several other adoption
agency websites to no avail. One evening
in June 2006, a Google search led us to
Families Adopting Children from China, an
interesting website full of information from
pre- to post-adoption from China. Further
exploration led to a large message board
organized around each province in China.
Some families had posted photos and brief
statements about their family.
Eventually, we discovered a family planning to go to China to pick up a boy whose
age and description was similar to Ning’s.
The child’s photograph looked strikingly
similar. We enlarged it on the computer
and ran to get Ellie. Though it had been
a full and eventful year since she last saw
him, she recognized Ning immediately and
with much glee. As soon as Ellie entered
the room and saw the computer screen, she
shouted, “Ning!”
We e-mailed the prospective parents,
Richard and Starla Kull, the news about our
discovery. They were delighted to learn
Above: Ellie and Taylor are reunited in the United
States. Below left: Ellie and Taylor together at the
orphanage in China.
about Ellie. The Kulls were just a couple
of days from leaving for China to adopt
Ning. In that brief period, we exchanged
e-mails and sent photos that included Ning
and some current ones of Ellie to show the
orphanage director.
The next year we continued to exchange
e-mails and send photos back and forth
marking the two friends’ progress. We had
always wanted the kids to reunite, and Ellie
was anxious to see her friend, now that
we knew where he was. But the Kulls are
missionaries and were working in Mexico.
They graciously invited us to join their family reunion in Missouri, and we finally got a
chance to visit them in July 2007.
It had been almost exactly two years
since the children were together. They
acted a little shy at first, checking each
other out, each trying to see if it was
really the old friend inside that different,
Americanized body. But quickly, they
became attentive to each other and seemed
to play as if it were old times with just a
few more toys than before. Over the next
three days, there were lots of hugs, holding
hands and general palling around.
We continue to stay in touch. Not only
has the reunion brought two children back
together who shared a great friendship in
China, but also it has brought two families
together who share the joy of international
kinships. ■
You Cannot Control the Process
The #1 lesson learned by a couple who adopted a girl from Ecuador
O
by Kat Menard / Jonesboro, Arkansas
Our adoption journey took many curves and twists, but we
wouldn’t trade one minute of it for the happiness it has brought
into our lives. The experience, though sometimes painful, has
been too rich even to express. As we come in contact with people
who are considering adoption, we are often pressed for advice.
We have learned so much from the addition of our black-haired
whirlwind of a daughter, and I hope sharing it has helped others.
The most important lesson we learned was that you cannot
control this process. If you are beginning an international adoption journey, you should print this out and put it on your bathroom
mirror, fridge, everywhere. It will help you to keep the frustration
in check and in perspective. In the beginning we were naïve. We
thought that we had a good idea of what was coming and how
long it would take. That seems absurd now. We started in 1999
with our homestudy and our country of choice—Romania. We
even chose a name for the daughter we were seeking, Miranda
Ilisse. Naming her helped us to remember that a child was at the
end of this rollercoaster of emotions and mountain of paperwork.
In 2001, after more than two years of waiting and getting close
to the top of the wait list, we received word that Romania had
closed, indefinitely. That was a pretty
crushing blow. I will not lie and say we
were not deeply depressed. However,
we have a hope in our faith. We knew
that God had blessed the decision for
us to adopt, because we had prayed so
much throughout this process. So, what
now?
How about another country?
We prayed some more and asked our
Holt contact to advise us. What program
had the least wait time? She suggested
that we look at the Latin American programs, ones we had not considered
before.
We knew virtually nothing about
Ecuador as a country, but we were willing to trust in Holt and what we believed
God was leading us to do. As we prayed
for God’s blessing and guidance, I could
almost feel Him speak to my spirit, “You
cannot control this process, so surrender.
Surrender your expectations, your ideas
of what you think you want, and allow
Me in My wisdom to give you a better gift—more wonderful than you can
imagine.”
So, after redoing nearly all our paperwork, translations, and so on... a very
quick seven months later we got the
call that our placement paperwork was
being sent. We opened it to find
a cache of photos of the most
beautiful toddler we had ever
seen, with shiny black hair, black
eyes, ginger skin and the cutest
little grin.
When we read the name on
the paperwork we drew breath
and looked at each other with
such surprise! Marianela Eloise.
Grinning, my husband looked
at me after a long moment and
said, “Well, they almost spelled
her name right!”
Above: Miranda as she appeared in
one of the placement photographs
sent to the Menards in 2001. Left:
Miranda in the kitchen, Easter 2007.
When people ask us about our
process, I sometimes answer that God knew who our child was,
and evidently we were looking on entirely the wrong continent!
Five years later, our daughter still has a beauty that takes my
breath away. She is vibrant, dramatic, witty and a live wire of
activity. And I would not trade one moment
of our crazy, rollercoaster ride for an imaginary, easy experience and some dream child
from somewhere else.
Sometimes reality is so good, it can put
dreams to shame. You cannot control this
process, so surrender. ■
On Being Flexible
Ecuador turned out to be the right
choice for the Menard family when
it came to adopting a child. They
left their hearts open after Romania
closed—and they found their daughter.
However, Holt no longer has an adoption program in Ecuador, having made
the difficult decision to close that
program at the end of 2005 after 18
years. Instability in Ecuador‘s adoption processing and seemingly endless
changes in government structures
continually challenged Holt’s ability to
unite children and adoptive families in
a timely manner.
But even as one door closes, another
opens. Holt has new programs in
place in other countries. The lesson
learned by the Menards still stands
true.
—Holt staff report
from the family
A Life Filled with Art—and Ellie
For a Holt adoptive mom
whose work as an artist has
taken her many places, art is a
way to give back to children
around the world
by Sally Weiner / Chicago, Illinois
A
As far back as I can remember, art has been my passion and my
focus. I began showing my work in college and as a result had
the good fortune to travel through Italy and France on a Ford
Foundation Grant won in an art competition. After I graduated
from the School of the Art Institute of Chicago, my art had to coexist with my work managing real estate investments for a number of
years. Now I am fortunate enough to be able to focus on my art,
currently painting and photography. You can see samples on my
website, www.sallyweiner.com.
My primary focus since July 2006, however, has been my wonderful daughter, Maya Ellis JiaMei (Ellie), whom I adopted from
Inner Mongolia, China, through Holt. She is now 3 years old and
is the light of my life. We both enjoy playing with our two dogs,
exploring nature, hiking, going to nearby Lake Michigan to climb
on rocks, and hanging out with our wonderful friends. Ellie loves
coming to my art studio, although she is honestly more of a director than an artist! I’m sure she will have me completely under
control quite soon. Fortunately, she’s a benevolent ruler.
16
Winter 2008
My involvement with Holt began with sponsoring children waiting for adoption and has grown tremendously
through adopting Ellie. When I was in China and almost daily
since coming home with her, I have thought about what would
have happened to my bright and funny little sprite of a daughter
if she had remained in an orphanage. Ellie is missing a couple of
bones in her left arm, and it’s shorter than normal, with a twisted
wrist. In her life here, with my family and friends and resources,
her arm is a nonissue. She’s had excellent physical therapy, and
she’s involved with all kinds of music, dance, art and educational
opportunities. She can grow up thriving, healthy and ready to go
wherever her interests lead.
But I can’t stop thinking about what if Ellie were still only one of
many children in an orphanage. And what about the children who
are still there? These questions have led me back to Holt again and
again to ask what I can do for those who are still without families.
I have prayed for guidance to know how best to give back. I’ve
wondered if there were ways I could use my God-given artistic
talent to contribute to the children in Holt’s care.
About six months ago, I was discussing ways I could contribute
with my Holt contact, Rose McBride. She wondered if I would be
open to creating a painting to auction at the annual Holt Portland
fundraising auction, and she gave me a photo to paint of four children that another Holt staff person took on a trip to Mongolia. I
was thrilled to find a way to use my art to give back to Holt. Rose
also had seen a painting I’d done from a photograph of my sweet
little Ellie. She wondered if I would be willing to also offer another
family the opportunity to have a painting done from a photograph
of their children, again to raise money at the Portland auction.
I was delighted to agree. The week after that, my sister-in-law
called to commission me to do a large painting of her
family for their new home, and it came to me that I
could donate that fee to Holt as well.
From those two conversations sprang the concept
of how I could use my passion for art to contribute
to Holt. I’ve committed myself, through at least
2008, to creating paintings from photographs for
Holt families, with my entire fee being paid to Holt
as a contribution. You can see details on the contribution level needed in the box accompanying
this article.
I look at my lovely daughter every day and am
grateful beyond words to God and to Holt for
bringing us together. The necessity to give back
in gratitude is always with me.
To me, it is a gift beyond my capacity to
express that I get to use my life’s passion, art, to
give back to the organization that brought me
the child I love to the bottom of my soul. It’s
as if a circle that I didn’t know was there has
now been completed.
My hope is that my offer will not only
enable other families to contribute significantly to Holt, perhaps out of the same need
to give back in gratitude, but also that it will
give families an artistic memory of a significant moment in their
family’s life. ■
A Portrait When You Donate
Sally Weiner and Holt International are offering a
unique opportunity to help children who need families.
Sally will paint a portrait of your child or family when
you make a donation to Holt.
Portraits
will be
painted from
photographs
only and will
capture the
details, colors
and images
in the photograph. They
will be done
in oil pastel
on stretched
canvas, unframed.
Specific donations will
be requested
according to
painting size
and complexity.
• 20” by 20” portrait with one person, $500 donation
• 20” by 20” portrait with two persons, $750 donation
• 30” by 40” family portrait, $3000 donation
• Donation amounts for other sizes and configurations
are available on request.
An award-winning artist, Sally has worked in all media
but most recently has been focusing on oil pastel
paintings and portraits. She has a BFA in Sculpture
and Painting from the School of the Art Institute of
Chicago. Sally currently paints for shows and does
commissioned work in her Chicago studio.
To view samples of Sally’s work, go to
www.sallyweiner.com
For more information on
this generous offer, please
contact: Rose McBride,
Development Director, at
rosem@holtinternational.
org or (503) 349-7796
(cell)
Photo, opposite page: Sally and Ellie on vacation in the West.
Painting of children in Mongolia, based on photograph of same.
Painting of Ellie with a close family friend, based on photograph of the same.
family tree
Jazmin, 9, and Kevin Dazell, 5 (both from Ecuador)—
Toledo, Ohio
Payton Huson, 3, China—New York City
Leilou Guerrero, 9 months (China)—Omaha, Neb.
Kee-Lee Overbeck, 2 (Korea)—Mount Juliet, Tenn.
MeiLi, 10 months (China) and Sophia Olson,
6—Salem, Ore.
18
Winter 2008
Sean, 2, and Nolan Kelleher, 3 (Korea)—Burlington, Mass.
Samantha, 3, and Alexander Masi, 5 (both
from Korea)—East Hanover, N.J.
David Deneen, 2½ (Ecuador)—Traverse City, Mich.
Julee, 13, and Taelyn Bigelow, 17 (both from
Korea)—Grants Pass, Ore.
Priya Miller, 22 months (India)—Frankfort, Ky.
Jaime and Pacita Fernandez with children Ruel, 4, and Ligaya, 7 (both from
Philippines)—Valley Cottage, N.Y.
Lawrence and Soo Bedder Fredella
(Korea)—Fort Lee, N.J.
Devon, 2 (Korea), and his father,
Gerald Hong—Petaluma, Calif.
Send your photos to
Family Tree!
Mail original color prints to:
Holt International magazine
P.O. Box 2880
Eugene, OR 97402
Daylie Umbarger, 4 (China)—Salem, Va.
Gregory Anderson, 18 (Korea)—
Point Pleasant Beach, N.J.
Sara Miller, 3½ (China)—Algoma, Wisc.
Megan Phillips, 18 (Korea)—
Lebanon, Ore.
Sofia Rumbaugh, 2½ (Vietnam)—
Salem, Ore.
or upload digital photos at
holtinternational.org/
submissions
Rebecca Dunahoo, 3 (Korea)—Weatogue, Conn.
from the family
This Is Our Baby
A long paperchase followed by an uncertain wait time prompted a
couple to open their hearts to a little girl with special healthcare needs
by Ivy Shaffer-Marks
Westampton, New Jersey
Above: Although Ivy and
Dani kept their adoption
plans secret from all but
a select few friends and
family members, after they
received news of a match,
they joyfully sent out baby
announcements.
Right: Ivy and Dani hold
their referral photograph
of Kira.
Opposite page: Dani finds
tucked under a pillow
one of the many copies
of Kira’s photograph Ivy
playfully hid around their
house.
M
My husband and I are about to adopt our first child
together, a little girl from China. Dani and I started
our paperchase during August 2006. We were trying
to get our dossier to China by October, and I remember the director of our branch office specifically
asking if we were up to
the work ahead. I almost
jumped out of my chair
with enthusiasm. The
beginning of the paperwork officially meant that
I could indulge in cravings for pickles and ice
cream.
Once our dossier was
officially logged into
the system of the China
Center of Adoption
Affairs in November 2006,
all we had to do was wait.
Although waiting sounds
easy after running around
trying to get every document notarized, authenticated and certified, it actually became the most difficult part of the journey.
You find out a lot about yourself during this wait,
especially how patient you are, who you want to
share the adoption with and what to do with yourself
so you are not constantly thinking of when you will
get your referral. The flurry of paperwork was done
in record time, but little did we know that the wait for
our baby girl was about to double in one year. I tried
so hard to keep busy. Dani on the other hand was
much less emotional, and I just had to figure out ways
to stay busy. I began taking one of three courses left
to finish my degree in nursing. I also began collecting
and swapping fabrics for a “100 Good Wishes Quilt,”
which also kept me busy for months. Over the summer I took a stained glass class and made flannel rag
quilts. Working full time and taking up fun hobbies
didn’t seem to tire me out. Soon we would be coming up on a year since our dossier was logged, and it
suddenly hit me that we would most likely be looking
at another year or so before we were matched.
Up to this time, we had been working with the Holt
China team to adopt a child through standard match.
One day my amazing husband came home to tell me
that he had called Holt to let them know we were
willing to consider a child with medical issues. This
meant that we would not lose our place in line for a
20
Winter 2008
child who had no identified special healthcare needs.
We would keep our place for a standard match while
Holt worked to match us with a child with special
healthcare needs who met our requirements. If we
accepted a child with special healthcare needs our
dossier would be
pulled from the
waiting pile and
reviewed in this
new light. So
it was a choice
between going
for the standard
match, which
meant
waiting for another
year or more,
or opening our
hearts to a child
with an identified
medical
condition until
we found our
daughter.
I was completely beside myself, eyes filled with tears of joy as I
looked often at the many children who needed homes
simply because they were older or had minor correctable surgical needs that we could handle. These
children were waiting, too, and Dani and I both knew
that we could love any child.
It was not a difficult choice. In fact, after we filed
our medical conditions list with the China team, I felt
the stress and anxiety over the growing wait dissipate
and my batteries, so to speak, recharged. Now we
had to look forward to greeting a new referral about
every three months. If and when we received a referral, it was simply up to us to decide if her special
need was something we could handle for now and
in the future.
With a new route open to us, I believed the rest of
the waiting time would be easier. We prepared ourselves that our referral would probably come within
the next six months. But what a surprise when within
two weeks of expressing our interest in a child with
special healthcare needs, we were matched with an
adorable 3-year-old girl who was found abandoned
and malnourished. The orphanage had done a great
job of nursing her back to health, but after discussing
her needs and other possible problems, Dani and I
had to decline her referral.
This brought new challenges. I
was not prepared to deal with the
flood of emotions over having to
make that decision. But Dani and
I knew realistically what resources
we had and what conditions we
were open to. After reviewing her
medical reports, we felt it was in
the best interest of all involved.
When I found out soon after that
she did find her forever family, I
was elated.
was a personal journey that we had chosen up to
then to share only with our family and a few good
friends. Because I couldn’t bear being questioned
from month to month while we waited, no one
knew we were adopting. We had chosen to wait
until we got closer to a referral. So I am sure the
few people at work who saw my expression and
heard me utter those incredible words thought I
went a little crazy.
We told the Holt staff that we
preferred a younger baby girl with
cleft lip / cleft palate. Again we
anticipated a referral anywhere
from three to six months after Holt received their next dossiers of
waiting children. We could only hope that there would be a little
girl there for us, and truthfully, even though we were still in the
China Program standard match process, I could no longer bear
watching the wait for standard match get longer every month since
we started. For us, our willingness to welcome a child with medical issues gave us new hope that a little one was waiting for us.
Then one amazing day in September, my husband called to
say Holt had offered us a referral of a little 8-month-old girl from
Hunan province. She had a repaired cleft lip but would need
palate surgery. I remember laughing and crying at the same time
while trying to remain calm. My heart was beating fast and my
hands were shaking. I was totally taken by surprise. Of course
Dani could not wait to open the file and see her picture, and
after he did, I made him describe every detail. He said her face
brought tears to his eyes and that “this is our baby.” I told people
at work I had to go home immediately because I just became a
mommy! I was babbling, tripping over my shoes on the way to
my locker. I couldn’t get out of there quickly enough. Adoption
Children in China Still
Need Families
Don’t let the long wait for the standard
process discourage you, hard as that
may be. As has been true for many
years, children in China need families.
With long waits for standard match
stretching out to two years and beyond,
we want to make sure you know that
options are available for expediting the
process of adoption.
The China Center for Adoption Affairs
frequently releases large groups of
children to Holt International for homefinding. These children all have identified medical conditions that often are
minor and correctable.
Most of these children never make it to
When I got home, Dani and I opened up the file
together. I had pictured our referral to be a toddler
in pigtails. Dani and I were ecstatic when we saw
an infant baby girl. We both had tears of joy and
stared at every inch of her referral picture, looking at her little feet and hands, a little tummy that
showed through her summer outfit that seemed too
big for her. We fell instantly in love. We never expected to get a
referral this soon.
Now we keep her picture in every room of our house, and in
our car, wallets and office. She’s our little girl, the child I dreamed
about my entire life. There are moments in your life that absolutely
take your breath away, and staring at our baby was one of those
moments!
After the excitement settled a bit, and as we continued to wait
for any updates, it occurred to us that we do not even consider
our daughter a “special needs” baby. However, we are very aware
of the surgeries and rehabilitation that lie ahead. Our hope is that
others may find the same unexpected joys offered by adopting a
child with healthcare issues. We made this choice enthusiastically
and are energized by the fact we have the resources to help one
child who will be our baby girl! I can only say to those of you
considering this choice, please do so. ■
Editor‘s Note: Ivy and Dani traveled to China in early January to
receive their daughter.
the photolisting on Holt’s website for
our Waiting Child Program.
Instead, they are usually matched with
families who already have a dossier in
China—just as with Ivy Shaffer-Marks
and her husband, Dani.
If you are already in process in our
China Program and want to be considered as a match family for one of these
children, go to our website and fill out
the medical conditions list.
If you are not yet in process, just start
at the beginning and make sure you
include the medical conditions list with
your application.
Average time from match to arrival?
Three to six months.
—Holt staff
Kira Isabella Marks in a photo taken in China.
from the family
A Reunion in China
Now almost teenagers, three girls adopted from the
same orphanage revisit their foster parents
by Marlou French
Middlefield, Conn.
Top: Christine French with
her foster parents outside
their apartment complex.
Below: Marissa Gurevich
with her foster father.
W
“Walking down the street that my birth mother
might be walking on would just be too painful,” my
daughter, Christine, explained two years ago when I
brought up the idea of visiting China, her birthplace.
But only a year later, at our biennial reunion with
seven of the families that met in Nanning 12 years
ago, Nora Gurevich asked if anyone would be interested in going to China in our off year. The prospect
of going anywhere with her “China sisters” was too
much for Christine to resist. Christine and I agreed
to join two other families: Al, Nora, and Marissa
Gurevich; and Lynn and Audrey Shattuck.
The beginning of our tour included sightseeing,
but it was the time spent in Nanning that all of us
will carry in our hearts forever.
Finding Places and Orphanages
Upon walking in the front door of the Ming Yuan
Xindu Hotel, we were greeted by a large sign:
“Welcome Holt Families Back to Guangxi.” At dinner,
the girls chatted with families who were spending
their first days with their new daughters. The sight
of them inspired us to share baby stories about
our girls. It was a lighthearted evening, but one that
resurrected old feelings.
The next day we explored finding places and
began looking into old relationships. Marissa’s finding place, the Nanning Train Station, loomed over
the busy street below. The girls held hands as they
walked up the steep stairs to view the train schedule
and waiting train. They posed for pictures. Later,
we drove across the city to the police station where
Audrey was found.
As newborns, all the girls passed through the old
Nanning Orphanage. We visited the new one, on the
same site as the old. Our guide said it is used as a
daycare center now because it is no longer needed to
house babies. Christine, who was found behind the
old orphanage as an infant, stood in the area where
the back door of the old building would have been.
I closed my eyes and prayed that her birthmother
would know that she is safe and loved.
One hot and humid afternoon, we visited Mother’s
Love, the orphanage previously sponsored by Holt.
All our girls spent some time there before being
placed in foster care. The director, Liu Guang Qi,
shared the girls’ files with us. I learned some health
problems Christine experienced that I hadn’t known
before. The director recognized her as Rong Hong
and remembered driving with the tearful infant to
the hotel to give her to her new family. Christine
now has two more pieces of her early story and
knows that people in her birthplace remember her.
The girls visited the children who live at Mother’s
22
Winter 2008
‘She Knew Me’
Our guide took a look at the photograph we had brought along
of Audrey’s foster mother and her best friend and said he recognized the friend and felt he could find her in this vast city of
over two million. Miraculously, he did find the friend sitting on
a bench outside her apartment!
From the bus, we watched her smile broaden while she told her
story to our guide. He ran back to the bus and shared the story
with Audrey, who hurried to the side of this beautiful woman.
They both burst into tears of joy! Audrey climbed onto her lap,
and they held each other and cried. We later toured her apartment and marveled at her memory of details about caring for
Audrey as a baby. We shared photographs, stories, hugs and a
tear-filled “goodbye.”
Later, I asked my daughter why she had cried so much during
nearly the entire visit. It’s not always easy to get a thoughtful response from a preteen, but her brief summary touched
my heart and let me know that she understood everything
about how the love and care she had received from this special
woman was an important part of who she is today.
She said simply, “She knew me.”
Thank you to this dear foster mother for “knowing” my daughter. She had wanted to care for a baby so badly that she had
used her friend‘s name and address 12 years ago.
—Lynn Shattuck, Sioux Falls, SD
Love, shared gifts and witnessed the affection of the
staff. Our girls purchased and proudly wore bracelets
made by the children.
Foster Families
We met with the girls’ foster parents. Our guide was
determined to reunite the girls with their foster families. Without his determination these unforgettable
interactions would not have happened. “Wo Ai Ni,”
he taught the girls: “I love you.”
Christine’s foster dad grinned from ear to ear as he
and his wife entered the hotel lobby. With our guide
interpreting, we exchanged details of our lives. We
learned that Christine was one of four foster children
for this family and the first one to return. Christine
shared a book of photographs that spanned from her
days in China to her recent graduation from sixth
grade. Her foster mother moved closer and closer,
examining Christine’s lovely hands, patting her hair,
constantly looking at her, trying to take in as much of
her as possible. I tried to express my enormous sense
of gratitude to them.
The Fongs insisted that we visit their home, a sign
of sincere hospitality. They climbed the four flights
of stairs on that sultry day with ease. We huffed and
puffed our way up and were rewarded with packets of
refreshing Chinese tea. The Fongs presented Christine
with pictures of their family and a red envelope with
16 yuan, a wish for good luck forever.
Marissa’s foster father lives in the same area as
Audrey Shattuck had an emotional reunion with her foster mother.
when he cared for her, but the old, low buildings
have been replaced by a high-rise apartment building. Zhio Wu shares a fourth floor apartment with his
daughter’s family. He misses his wife, who died two
years ago of cancer. At his request, Marissa lit incense
to honor her foster mother, and with a boost from her
father, she placed it on the high altar. Marissa and her
foster father prayed together. Zhio brought out the
baby pictures that the Gurevich family had sent to him
through Holt 12 years ago. Later the girls practiced
their Chinese with his grandchildren, repeating the
names of animals in a picture on the wall.
We shared a plate of melon and dragon eyes, a
tasty tropical fruit. Marissa and her foster father
walked down the stairs hand in hand as we were
leaving.
Mother’s Love
The girls saw that people in the world don’t live like
us, but are kind and loving and are more like us than
not. Our guide often spoke to our daughters about
learning Chinese and continuing their relationships
with the wonderful people in China. Maybe this trip
was a part of that continuum.
Most important, in spite of their sad and difficult
beginnings in life, the girls spent time with people
in China who continue to love and be interested in
them. For my part I recognized, perhaps more fully
than before, that mothers’ love comes in many different forms. ■
adoptees today
The Absolute Love
Exploring identity issues with humor and the lens
of a loving heart, a Korean adoptee embraces her
Southern and Puerto Rican heritage
by Rosita Gonzalez
Charlottesville, Virginia
C
Close to 40 years ago, my parents, after a painful
stillbirth, decided to place their hearts in my hands.
At 6 months old, I was left at the Chong Yang Ri
police station on May 24, 1968. No name, no information. I became the Holt Adoption Program’s #5596. I
was given a name, Kim, Sook-hyun,
and a birthdate, November 15, 1967. In
the first images of me, I appear frightened. But by 9 months, when my
parents received their highly anticipated letter, my photographs revealed
a chubby, happy girl.
Above: The photo sent to
Rosita’s family just before
she was adopted.
Top right: Rosita with
her husband, Jonathan
Sleeman, and their children, Noah Sol and Mia
Luz.
For obvious reasons, I remember
very little of that time. All I know
is from photographs and my parents’ recollections. I spent my first
birthday away from my parents, but
my foster parents were kind enough
to send photographs of me on that
traditionally special day in Korea. I
wore the full traditional dress. And
I appeared to be walking; this fact
hurt my mother deeply. “I wanted
to be there for that milestone,” she
once told me. When I was eventually brought to Tennessee to meet
my mother’s family for the first time,
my grandmother ran over and grabbed me out of my
mother’s arms, saying, “Give me that thang!” From
that moment on, I was theirs and they mine.
I became quite the novelty in the small east
Tennessee town of Newport. At that time, there were
no Asians in Newport as far as my family knew. I was
just one of them. On occasions, people would stop
my mother to chat about the little “China doll” that sat
in her shopping cart. One woman asked in a whisper,
“Will you tell her she’s adopted?” My mother replied
calmly, “Oh, she has only to look in the mirror! But
yes, she knows she was chosen.”
Oh, how they forget!
My family has accepted me from the first day. At
times, they forget that I am adopted, though it is
shockingly apparent to those who don’t know us.
24 Winter 2008
24 Winter 2007
My mother has had so many of those moments.
Once as a teenager, I was fantasizing about what my
own family might be one day. I said, “I wish I could
have a redheaded child.” My mother said casually,
“You could. I’m a redhead, your grandmother was a
redhead ….” I asked her, as a smart teenager, “Have
you looked at me lately?” And her response was, “Oh,
I guess not.”
Another time, I sat with her at the Opryland Hotel
bar. We ordered drinks, and the server asked for my
identification. My mother was brooding as I produced
proof of my age. She was fuming. I asked her what
was wrong. She said, “I’m your mother. I wouldn’t
allow you to drink if you were underage!” I tried
not to laugh, and I calmed her by saying, “Mom, she
doesn’t know that I’m your daughter.”
My sister is my parents’ biological daughter and six
years my junior. We grew closer as we both reached
early adulthood. One evening, we attended a Blue
Nile concert in the Old Town area of Knoxville,
Tennessee. We sat very close together, hugging and
wrapping our arms around each other. Later, we
noticed some disapproving looks. We were truly
puzzled until we realized that we didn’t look like
siblings.
In Puerto Rico, where my father’s family lives, they,
too, have forgotten my biological roots. The first
time my husband and I brought our infant son to the
island, a cousin took us around to the city hall. There
we found a photograph of my father’s grandfather, a
former mayor. My cousin held up my infant son and
said, “He looks just like him!” My husband and I
smiled, enjoying the absolute love. ■
Editor’s Note: This is an excerpt from Rosita’s blog,
which you can visit at: mothermade.blogspot.com
China Adoption
Maybe your child is waiting... for you
Children with minor and correctable conditions
often become available for a quicker adoption process.
• These children are matched with families with dossiers
already in China, and usually never appear in
Holt’s Waiting Child photolisting.
• By considering a child with correctable physical conditions, you may shorten
your wait time.
• Match to arrival averages 3–6 months.
Fill out or amend a Holt “Medical Conditions Checklist.”
Available at www.holtinternational.org/china
Examples of minor and correctable conditions include:
cleft lip/palate, heart issues, orthopedic issues, etc.
waiting child
Stuart
Waiting Children
Special needs, special blessings
Soo-hoon
Waiting Children
Special needs, special blessings
These children and many others you can view on Holt’s website
need adoptive families. They may have various challenges such as
medical conditions, or they may simply be older or in sibling groups,
but they have so much to offer the family who makes them their own
son or daughter.
Min-seo
Interested in a Waiting Child? Contact Holt’s Waiting Child
Program at 541-687-2202. View a photolisting of other waiting children or apply online: holtinternational.org/waitingchild
Min-seo
Jeong-min
Amanda
Born premature at 35 weeks, Min-seo makes
good eye contact, turns her head to sounds and
can bear weight on her legs if supported. She
had surgery to repair myelomeningocele. A
neurosonogram showed lateral ventriculomegaly on both sides.
An easy-going baby boy with a sweet smile,
Jeong-min was born at 30 weeks but is meeting
developmental milestones as adjusted for prematurity. A radiology report in August showed
some organ abnormalities.
Amanda embodies the maturity of a “mothering” older sister but can still be a kid herself.
She has an even temperament and is calm, quiet
and easy-going. * $5,000 grant available from
Brittany’s Hope and Holt fees reduced.
Born in Korea, July 26, 2007
Stuart
Born in SE Asia, October 6, 2000
A thoughtful, expressive child, Stuart is well
liked at school, does well, but has slight delays
in language and motor skills. He has been in his
currrent foster home since early 2005.
Soo-hoon
Born in Korea, July 8, 1995
A charming, enthusiastic boy with Down syndrome and a cheerful disposition, Soo-hoon
performs in the Ilsan Choir and can express his
feelings and thoughts into words, write familiar
words and knows numbers up to 10.
Onkar
Born in India, May 3, 2006
In care since he was one day old, Onkar enjoys
playing and sharing toys with his peers, walks
upstairs alone and follows simple instructions.
He waves goodbye and gives “fling kisses.”
Multiple seizures and intracranial bleeding hospitalized him for six days in July 2006. *$5,000
grant available from Brittany‘s Hope.
26
Winter 2008
Born in Korea, May 29, 2007
Born in Haiti, September 3, 1994
Bob
Shane
Well-behaved, quiet, shy and happy, Bob came
into care at 2 months old, plays well with other
children and is developmentally on track in
most ways. He has congenital lesions on his
thoracic vertebrae and fusion of two ribs, which
impact gross motor development.
An outgoing, cooperative child who loves
musical toys, Shane was born with one finger
on each hand and one toe on each foot. At 9
months he could distinguish between acquaintances and strangers. *$5,000 grant available
from Brittany‘s Hope.
Born in China, March 22, 2002
Born in China, June 3, 2006
Justin
Shawn
Justin enjoys being outside with his foster
mother, listening to music and playing with
toys. He can walk unaided, climb stairs and
turn pages in a book. He has ear atresia with
hearing loss in his left ear and cannot speak,
but understands what is being said to him.
Extroverted, quiet, quick to smile and cooperative, Shawn has dwarfism and hyperdactylia of
hands and feet but balances well, stands and
walks. He likes being held and interacts well
with others. His comprehension is excellent.
Born in China, May 16, 2005
Leslie
Born in China, May 2, 2000
An active child with a ready smile, Leslie does
well in school and gets along with peers. Her
favorite activities include watching TV, listening
to music, singing and playing outdoors. She
tested positive for hepatitis B on admission.
Born in China, April 21, 2004
Ram
Born in India, April 25, 2003
Ram came into care at about 3 years old weighing a little over 16 lbs and delayed in all areas.
He has caught up in his motor and social skills,
is receiving speech therapy but has mild dyslalia
and insufficient breath for articulation. An
X-ray of his lungs was normal.
Holt’s descriptions of waiting children are based on information available to Holt from caregivers and medical personnel in the child’s
country of origin. Holt cannot guarantee the accuracy of these descriptions or that the medical and psychological diagnoses published
here are correct and complete.
Justin
Ram
Shane
Nolan
Onkar
Leslie
Shawn
Jeong-min
Crystol, 11
Bob
Crystol’s resiliency, affectionate nature and warm personality
have kept her smiling over the years. She has worked extremely
hard to move beyond the pain of her past, and to focus on a
brighter future. She hopes to find a family who can help her
connect with her dual heritage. Crystol adores the arts, has a
beautiful singing voice and loves crafts. She also enjoys swimming, biking and camping trips. Crystol needs adoptive parents
who can nourish her with the time and attention she deserves.
Oregon Waiting Child
Amanda
Agencies reduce fees for the adoption of a child in state
care, and financial assistance may be available. To learn
more, call the Special Needs Adoption Coalition at The
Boys and Girls Aid Society at (877) 932-2734 x 2392, or
DHS at (800) 331-0503. Also visit www.boysandgirlsaid.
org and www.nwae.org for information and photos of
waiting children.
*Brittany’s Hope grants are available for nine months from their granting date, which
varies by child. Find out more at www.brittanyshope.org
Holt history
Ilsan’s First Student Volunteer
When she returned to the States, she went on
carrying Baby Lisa in her heart
by Judy Lucas
Camarillo, California
Right: Judy with Baby Lisa
(now Elizabeth Cameron)
in Korea, 1968.
Opposite page: Elizabeth
(second from left) with
sisters Caroline (at left in
her work uniform), Sarah
and Joanna. In the back
row, parents Carol and
Michael (2000).
O
On a steamy summer day in Ilsan, Korea, I waited
at the orphanage with 8-month-old Baby Lisa and
her possessions in two grocery bags. “Dear God”, I
prayed. “Please give this precious baby a family who
will love and care for her the way I want to but cannot.” I couldn’t go on. I cried for this baby I loved.
Baby Lisa (born Kim Wan Sook) changed my life
forever, beginning with an article I discovered in 1967
from the October 1956 Reader’s Digest —“Harry Holt
and a Heartful of Children.” Inspired by the Holts’
story, I wanted to go to Korea, too. The Student
Missions Department of Westmont College in Santa
Barbara, California, and my missionary parents sent
me in the summer of 1968 as the first student volunteer to the Holt orphanage at Ilsan.
the orphanage staff that she would be prepared for
adoption.
The day after my tearful prayer and goodbye
to Baby Lisa, two other adults and I flew back to
America, chaperoning 11 Korean orphans, aged 9
months to 11 years old, to their new families. None
of them was Lisa. As a single college student I was
not allowed to bring her home but was assured by
Our plane from Seoul to San Francisco stopped in
Los Angeles, Chicago and Seattle. We carried a glazed,
brown earthenware pot of rice to prevent the children
from getting sick on foreign airline food. Each child
had a small bag of essentials. After eating rice and
drinking milk or cola, the children curled up on the
Lizzie Today
I was left outside a police station just
hours after my birth. I then spent the
next six months in the hospital with
pneumonia and TB. That was when Judy
came along and fattened me up ready for
adoption.
After my adoption at the age of 18
months to an English family who already
had three girls, my life has been pretty
normal. We moved countries a couple of
times and moved schools several times,
but there was nothing really out of the
ordinary that happened to me.
My three sisters are all homegrown but
just as different from each other as they
are from me, so I never really felt like the
black sheep (or the Korean sheep) of the
family.
I don’t want to offend anybody, because I
know that adoptions due to infertility are
just as successful and loving as ones that
aren’t. However, one thing that I am sure
contributes to my sense of acceptance is
the fact that I was adopted into a family
of three other children—all girls. So with28
Winter 2008
out sounding precious, I feel I was a bit
special in being adopted by this particular
family, that they especially wanted me
for me.
I know there are some emotional and
mental peculiarities about me that are a
result of being abandoned and adopted,
and there are things about me that are a
result of being in the hospital for such a
long time at such a young age and crucial
time in my life.
wish that neighbor could see me now at
a very reasonable 5 feet, 7 1/2 inches tall
with excellent health.
Since the time I met Judy (again), I have
been amused and unsure as to why I
have brought so much to her life and that
I have been that important to her.
I feel that it is the hospital part that has
been most detrimental to me, and yet
that is where Judy found me, so it wasn’t
all bad. The other thing I got out of that
stay in the hospital is that I now have an
unbelievably excellent immune system;
I cannot remember the last time I had a
decent bout of flu, or even a heavy cold.
Am I being naïve and maybe just a tad bit
self-deprecating? I don’t mean to be, but
just maybe deep, deep, deep down I have
always felt that because I was abandoned, that I mustn’t be that important?
I believe there have been a few incidents
throughout my life where I have made
choices and decisions that have upset
and hurt people around me. I made these
choices and decisions because I didn’t
really think I was that important to them,
but I guess I was wrong.
In Judy’s story, she says that I was seven
pounds at 6 months, which seems so
weird to me, for the single reason that my
son Séan (who is now 18 years old) was
eight pounds and two ounces at birth!
We all lead such busy lives and even
though we do keep saying family and
friends are the most important areas of
those lives, it is always too easy to get
caught up in the day-to-day of living.
Apparently one of the neighbors told my
mother that she would never raise me,
because I was so small and puny. I just
Judy and I do e-mail each other, and I do
intend sometime in the next few years
to meet up with her again. It is funny
adoptees today
floor or in their seats. Forty-eight hours
later, we had delivered all the children to
their new families. Signs, flashing cameras,
open arms and tears of joy welcomed the
sleepy children. I was happy for them but
sad for the one I left behind.
I found Baby Lisa shortly after arriving
in Ilsan, while visiting Seoul hospitals to
see sick children. One 6-month-old girl,
weighing seven pounds and suffering from
marasmus—failure to thrive due to lack of
affection and touch—lay in her incubator
next to the nursery window. No amount of
drugs or care by the staff made her grow.
She needed someone to love, hold, talk to
and care for her. She was dying. I asked
to take care of her, and two days later a
hospital messenger brought her to me at
the orphanage.
For five weeks, I carried Baby Lisa on my
back around the orphanage while working
with other children. Or she stayed with the
Korean agimoni (dry nurse) in the cottage
we shared with Molly Holt and Joan Barker,
a Holt employee from England. The baby
girl and I became very attached. In spite of
her many food allergies, rashes, misshapen
head and hips, and other symptoms associ-
ated with her diagnosis, she began to thrive,
gain weight, make baby gurgling and giggling sounds and smile. However, as the
time for me to leave approached, she was
still considered unadoptable. I returned
to America with an anxious, heavy heart
and later sent her support money, letters,
clothes and toys, including a Raggedy Ann
doll to cuddle.
Baby Lisa was adopted 18 months later
by the Michael and Carol Delaney family of
five in England who named her Elizabeth
Anne Delaney. We corresponded briefly
but soon lost contact.
I began looking for “Lizzie” 22 years
later. I contacted the TV shows Phil
Donahue, Oprah Winfrey and Unsolved
Mysteries as well as the Salvation Army. I
learned from Joan Barker that the Delaneys
may have immigrated to New Zealand.
With no other clues, I traveled to New
Zealand. I carried an oil painting of young
Lizzie, talking about her wherever I went.
Two days before leaving, I showed Lizzie’s
picture to the Maori waitress. “Why not
talk with the New Zealand Herald across
the street? If you are meant to find her,
you will!”
actually to think that we have
met in Britain, New Zealand and
America. I met her children Tim
and Jennie in America, then met
Lorelei in Britain, and it was odd
to meet people younger than
me, who knew all about me.
My parents and my three sisters
are all living nearby, so I see
them regularly. My son, Séan is
living down in Nelson which is
in the South Island (my husband
and I are in the North Island)
and loving it. Séan is lovely
and as cute as a button. He
calls himself a Koriwi—a Korean Kiwi—his
father is a Kiwi, which is slang for a New
Zealander.
The years of anguish, low self-esteem and
just plain confusion have been over for
quite a number of years now, and I feel
comfortable and at peace with myself.
In fact, when I meet people for the first
time and they ask me where I am from,
I just give my little speech on my beginnings. I used to be embarrassed when
they asked and would mumble different
A reporter and photographer came to my
hotel that evening for an interview. The
next morning, The Herald published the
photo and an article about Lizzie. By late
afternoon Lizzie’s mom called and invited
me to have dinner with them.
I could not stop staring at grown-up
Lizzie and her 2-year-old son who looked
so much like her at that age. They then
brought out an old box after dinner containing Baby Lisa’s belongings from Korea.
Her Raggedy Ann doll was worn thin
but recognizable. This was a miraculous
reunion with many prayers answered.
Since that day in 1992, Lizzie and I
have met again in England and America.
We e-mail, building an adult relationship.
My three adult children know about their
Korean “sister” and have met her. Our
entire family has been changed by these
experiences with a very special child—
resilient, loving and lovable. ■
Editor’s Note: Lizzie’s story, “Facing Myself,”
appeared in the March 2002 issue of this
magazine.
ing piece, which may or may not
be real. Adoption is also a very
personal, individual situation.
Some feel very at home with
their adopted families, but others
may have always felt at a loss or
an outsider. Yet again, this can
happen in non-adopted families
too—how many families do you
know that have an odd one out?
things, depending on who they were and
what my level of discomfort was. I have
now gone the opposite way and enjoy
telling the story. I just say the whole
thing and it doesn’t take very long at all—
honestly. I talk fast.
I believe that a lot of people generalize
and blame problems that appear with
adoptees on the adoption, whereas, the
chances are that a large chunk of the
problems are just the same normal problems that non-adoptees have. We can
grow up with a sense of having a miss-
I just want to finish by saying
that over all, I have no regrets or
wish anything different for my
life—apart from the usual thing
of wishing I had done better at
school and maybe wishing I had saved
more money when I had the opportunity,
both of which are absolutely nothing to
do with abandonment or adoption.
I am a believer in opportunities rather
than destiny, and so I feel very appreciative that I had the opportunity of being
spotted by Judy, which then gave way for
the opportunity of being passed onto my
adopted family.
—by Elizabeth Cameron
New Zealand
inspiration
Praying
for the Children
That God will bring vulnerable children to Holt
• A prompt, safe transition to Holt.
• Healthy birth.
In Holt’s care
• Healing and health for the child.
• Caregivers gifted to meet the child’s needs.
• Friendships with other children.
• Guide decisions about the child’s future.
• Each child matched with a loving, nurturing family.
Joining a permanent family
• Prepare the family to accept the child & meet his needs.
• The child will adjust to his family quickly.
• The child will feel secure & trust his new parents.
As the child matures
• Know they’re loved & belong.
• Accepted at school, church, etc.
• Confident of their value.
• Able to accept their past & present life.
• Competent to build their own families.
Every child is a precious gift of God.
—David Kim, Holt President Emeritus
calendar
Nebraska
Feb. 23—Holt Colors of Hope Dinner Auction in Omaha.
5:30 p.m. Featured speaker is Holt Board member
Steve Stirling. Contact: Monica Wilton, Holt Events
Manager, at [email protected] or
(800) 451-0732
June 21—Holt Family Picnic at place TBD. Contact: Sally
Dunbar at [email protected] or (888)
355-HOLT x137
July 27–31—Holt Adoptee Camp in Ashland for adoptees
9–16 years old. Contact: Steve Kalb at (541)
687-2202 or [email protected]
New Jersey
April 12—Annual Holt Dinner Auction at North
Brunswick High School, sponsored by parent groups
as a fundraiser for Holt International. Doors open 5
p.m., dinner 6:15. Adults (13+) $10; children (9–12)
$6. Contact or to volunteer: Cathy Torrey at (908)
996-4541 or NJ Branch at (609) 882-4972. To
donate items for gift baskets: Barbara Hurte (908)
213-0184; Holly Maschia (201) 263-1873; or Jill
Tabor (609) 413-7253. Parent groups not listed with
Holt, call the Branch for registration information.
August 10–14—Holt Adoptee Camp in Starlight,
Pennsylvania, for adoptees 9–16 years old.
Contact: Steve Kalb at (541) 687-2202 or stevek@
holtinternational.org
September 6—New Jersey Holt Family Picnic at Pine
Park, 11 a.m.–3 p.m. Contact: Sally Dunbar at
[email protected] or (888) 355-HOLT
x137
Arkansas
March 15—Quarterly Family Recruitment and Family
Support Meeting. Contact: Branch Office at (501)
723-4444 for details and to RSVP
California
May 17—Holt Family Picnic at El Dorado East Regional
Park, Long Beach, 11 a.m.–3 p.m. Contact: Sally
355-HOLT x137
June 7—Sacramento Area Holt Family Picnic at Royer
Park, Roseville, 11 a.m.–3 p.m. Contact: Sally
355-HOLT x137
July 14-18—Camp Friendship Korea at Shrine of St.
Joseph in Stirling for campers entering kindergarten
to eighth grade the following September. Go to:
www.campfriendshipnj.com
June 14—Bay Area Holt Family Picnic at Coyote Point
Park, San Mateo, 11 a.m.–3 p.m. Contact: Sally
355-HOLT x137
July 21-25—Camp Friendship China at Shrine of St.
Joseph in Stirling for campers entering kindergarten
to eighth grade. Go to: www.campfriendshipnj.com
August 3–7—Holt Adoptee Camp in Dobbins for adoptees
Orphaned, abandoned and vulnerable children around the world need food,
shelter, clothing and medical treatment... essentials your sponsorship of
$30 per month will help provide. Choose a child to sponsor from
Holt’s website: holtinternational.org/sponsorship
or call 888.355.HOLT
Your Sponsorship can...
Iowa
September 20—Iowa Holt Family Picnic at LeGrand
Community Park, LeGrand, 11 a.m.–3 p.m. Contact:
Sally Dunbar at [email protected] or
(888) 355-HOLT x137
Kansas / Missouri
Feb. 23— Chinese New Year Support Group Lunch
for all Holt MO / KS families, 11 a.m.-2 p.m. For
details, contact the Branch Office: missouri@
holtinternational.org or (816) 822-2169
Oregon
May 9—Holt Colors of Hope Dinner Auction to benefit
children in care in Southeast Asia, at the Valley River
Inn in Eugene. Contact: Monica Wilton, Holt Events
Manager, at [email protected] or
(800) 451-0732
June 28—Portland Area Holt Family Picnic at place TBD.
Contact: Sally Dunbar at sallyd@holtinternational.
org or (888) 355-HOLT x137
July 20–24—Holt Adoptee Camp in Corbett for adoptees
August 2—Oregon Holt Family Picnic at Camp Harlow,
Eugene, 11 a.m.–3 p.m. Contact: Sally Dunbar at
[email protected] or (888) 355-HOLT
x137
Places
in the heart
20 08 Holt Heritage Tours
connection :: culture :: experience :: engage
China Family Tour
Contact Lisle Veach, China Program | (541) 687-2202 | lislev @ holtinternational.org
Korea Heritage Tour
Contact Paul Kim, Korea Program | (541) 687-2202 | paulk@ holtinternational.org
Romania Family Tour
Contact Joanne Stanley, Romania Program | (541) 687-2202 | joannes @ holtinternational.org
Thailand Family Tours
Contact Marissa Leuallen, Thailand Program | (541) 687-2202 |
marissal @ holtinternational.org
h o l t i n t e r n a t i o n a l.o r g /t o u r s
Post Of fice Box 2880
Eugene OR 974 02
Change Service Requested
Nonprofit Org
US Postage
Paid
Eugene OR
Permit No. 291

Ethiopia Adoption opens newsong in korea

Transcription

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