Happy Ground Hog Day 2015

Happy Ground Hog Day!
By Todd A. Kindler
Happy Ground Hog Day from The Woodchuck Den Staff! Yes, you read it right….the
staff! We have finally decided to hire our very first employee. After laboring over many
resumes and interviewing dozens of very qualified candidates, we have finally selected
our very first and extremely well qualified Marketing Director. I would like to formally
introduce to everyone to Mr. Woodrow C. Woodchuck from the rolling hayfields of
Tuscarawas County! Mr. Woodchuck has asked me to please have everyone address
him simply as Woody. So I thought now might be an excellent time to do a little
interview with Woody and share it with you all.
Todd: Hi Woody, would you like to tell us a little about yourself?
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Woody: Sure Todd. First of all, I’m very happy to join The Woodchuck Den staff as the
Marketing Director. I can see there is a real need (uh..Woody, please we can discuss this
privately later o.k.) and I’m sure I’m the right guy. I grew up in these rolling hayfields dodging
varmint bullets and coyotes for a long time and can really help those poor shooters get the most
precision from their rifles.
Todd: What do woodchucks feed on?
Woody: We are herbivorous animals and like to eat plants like grass, clover and alfalfa. This
causes farmers to lose it and welcome woodchuck hunters to reduce crop damage.
Todd: Could you please tell us about your apartment?
Woody: They are actually called burrows that are built below the frost line to make sure that the
temperature in the burrow remains stable. These burrows are called winter burrows, and these
are specially made for hibernating in. I’m happy to sleep on your chair now though. ( ..uh…don’t
think so!)
Todd: That brings up another question. What is this hibernating all about?
Woody: Well, hibernation is when our body temperature drops from 99°F to approximately 40°F.
Our heartbeat also decreases from 80 beats per minute to 4 - 5 beats per minute. Our breathing
is also reduced from 12 breaths a minute to as little as 1 breath per 5 minutes! That's just a
whisker away from death!
Todd: I’ve heard you groundhogs can go on a feeding frenzy. Could you elaborate on this for
us?
Woody: Sure binge eating during the summer is quite normal for us and we put on a lot of
weight to see us through the severe hibernation that is to follow. Remember we lose more than
half our body weight during hibernation! To put it in your terms, Todd, it’s kind of like when Linda
is at work, and you get in the fridge and eat half of the left over pizza without sharing a single
bite with me, and you constantly blame me for all the missing cookies! (..uh.. Woody, please we
can talk about this at a later time!)
Todd: It’s known that ground hogs are very intelligent creatures can you explain this?
Woody: Sure we are very smart creatures. Our burrows are made by us digging and have
many chambers and also more than one entrance. This is to ensure that if a predator comes
along, we have enough places to hide in, and also another entrance to escape from. We just
refuse to be caught!
Todd: Well, Woody we will continue this interview next time; however, could you please take a
few minutes and tell us what’s exciting that is happening at The Woodchuck Den?
Woody: Sure, I’d be glad to. First of all, I’m trying to dig through all the unfinished paperwork
left by Todd all over his desk that we now have to share. (..uh, we really need to discuss these
minor issues later on Woody) However, I’m happy to report The Woodchuck Den is stocked
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plum full of precision small caliber products to help each shooter reach his accuracy goal! First
off, we have two outstanding reloading manuals “The Terrific Twenties” and “The
Sensational Seventeens”. These are the only 17 and 20 caliber manuals on the planet! We
have many specialized reloading dies in stock from Redding, RCBS, Wilson, and many
accuracy loading tools. Our Amish made portable table-top reloading stands are just awesome
too. We now have one made just for the Forster Co-Ax press! If you’re looking for a really nice
stand to mount your powder measure, we have you covered too.
Oh… shooters if you’re not coating your center fire, lead, and 22 rimfire bullets with our SPL
Bullet Coating your missing out. This outstanding product was actually used to win the World
Airgun Championship a year or two ago and is now used by many top center fire, lead bullet
and rimfire shooters as well. This is a proven product that reduces lead and metal fouling and
helps extend barrel life!
If you’re a serious shooter and want the best results call the small caliber accuracy experts
today!
Happy Ground hog Day!
Todd & Woody
P.S. uh….”Woody, have you seen my glasses?”
Call 330.897.0614 or send a check for $33.00 US to The Woodchuck Den 11220
Hilltop Rd. Baltic, OH 43804 (International orders, please call to order)
Why not order a Sensational Seventeen
manual for a shooting friend – the holidays
are right around the corner!
Contact The Woodchuck Den for all your shooting Accessories!
330.897.0614
www.woodchuckden.com
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