THE MARLBURIAN SUMMER 1982

THE MARLBURIAN
SUMMER 1982
Plloto by Sop/lie Butler
Back row; Marina Snow, Julie Blades, Bill Zuill, Bob Sanderson, John Snell,
Miles Fletcher.
Front row; Freddie Baveystock (Capt.), Jan Bonn, Doug Thorp (Vice-Capt.).
Contents
Editorial ................................................................................. The Editor ......... Page 5
Tales of Treeklebolee ......................................................... The Senior Prefect. ........ Page 5
School Notes ........................................................................ Canlilla Bonn ......... Page 6
Marlburianballs ................................................................................................. Page 9
Marlburianballs in the Making'? ........................................................................... Page 9
Caption Competition .......................................................................................... Page 10
Crossword ........................................................................ Michael Gibbons. ....... Page 11
Ray Lewer ...................................................................... Alan MacKichan........ Page 12
Alan MacKichan .......................................... Michael Dain and Michael Davis. ....... Page 12
Stuart Hockey ........................................................................ John Byrom. ....... Page 14
Michael Jeans-Jakobsson ............................................................ Rupert Lane. ....... Page 16
Rupert Lane ........................................................................ Martin Evans. ....... Page ]7
Andy Lowe ........................................................................... John Osborne. ....... Page 18
Prefects ........................................................................................................... Page 19
The Marlborough Walk ............................................................... J. B. Smith ....... Page 20
Fable ................................................................................. Charles Briltain........ Page 21
Book Reviews ................................................... Miles Fletcher and J. B. Smith........ Page 23
Poems by ......................................................... Hayden Vivash. Nick Daniel.
Charles Olver. Richard Head .. Pages 24-27
Drama ............................................................................................................ Page 28
Talks ............................................................................................................. Page 34
Sport.............................................................................................................. Page 38
Music ............................................................................................................ Page 48
Societies.......................................................................................................... Page 52
2
Poems by ................................................... Hayden Vivash. Patrick Jackson.
Nick Daniel. Charles Briuain .. Pages 62-64
Features:
The Mount House Exhibitions ................................................... Marina Snow........ Page 66
A New Insight into Life ...................................................... Hilary Openshaw........ Page 66
A Tum of Fortune ............................................................ Ben Ramsbotham ....... Page 68
See Our Names in Print? .................................................................................... Page 69
Young England at School .................................................................................... Page 70
A Stalinist Stronghold ............................................................ Clare Russell.. ..... Page 71
How to get an Off-Games Chit ....................................... Lesley. Jane and Fiona ....... Page 72
The Quest for Understanding ................................................... James Norton ....... Page 73
Has Science taken on Christianity? .................................... Jonathan Calladine. ....... Page 73
Applied Science at Marlborough ................................................... Jobo Mills. ....... Page 76
Professor D. R. Myddleton ...................................................... Greville Ward........ Page 77
Turner House ................................................ Damian Jones and Ben Musgrave. ....... Page 77
Old Marlburian Nudes ........................................................................................ Page 78
C.R. News ....................................................................................................... Page 78
We would like to thank Sophie Butler for once again supplying photos on demand. and at
very short notice.
3
Editorial
1. I, like Artur Sammler. dislike lengthy excuses and explanations, so I will be brief. I was
horrified when the Sani nurses told me they
thought their article would be too flippant for
The Marlburian; they thought the magazine
was aU rather serious and straight-faced. All I
can say is that we have certainly tried to dispel
this notion from your minds since I am one who
believes that it is a good thing to laugh at it an
occasionally; one of our most successful counterparts, The Tonbridgian, is often very
amusing.
2. Though it be a typical school mag complaint, I feel something should be said about
the incredible lassitude with which people treat
this magazine. Four days after the deadline we
set not one sports report was in; much the same
applies to the societies reports. There is little
which can actually be done about this. but for
the sake of future editors I ask you to reconsider whether you would enjoy spending your
last week of term chasing people up and doing
endless typing.
3. Since we have in the past printed some
vigorous defences of public schools, we had
hoped to balance these in this issue by hearing
what Mr Wedgwood Benn had to say on the
subject. Accordingly we wrote to ask his views
and, very reasonably, he suggested we look
at official Labour policy on education. If
there is a demand from our readers that we
should reproduce the parts which affect public
schools, in our next issue, then we will do that.
In the meantime we print a copy of his letter,
because it wiU be of the greatest interest to
students of handwriting. If you don't believe us,
get a book on graphology out of the library.
and you will quickly find we are right.
Tales of Treeklebolee
Inn Erpl acne ar Tracklebol ok dun byth
tiver twasa littelb oi. Heee wasm sm sm all und
tweet und alla smileyed. Hee was walking
along one day wen te grate 2 can culled te im
te tolve tall te toblums tof taUturu tolledge. Pif
pe pid pin pan pinkie pof pan pie. He hived
wappily hever halfter hith wis tutiful tincess
bow boo.
Sigg. ned S.P. (Signor Ick)
s
School Notes
A war which began in the holidays was
fought and won. John-Paul II came to Britain.
the Rolling Stones played at Wembley and
there was a national rail strike. Meanwhile
eight hundred and sixty-eight Marlburians came
back for another term.
Within seven days we were out on the downs
for the Marlborough Walk for the Blind. A
chance for a long talk or a session with the Sony
Walkman. with the added bonus of earning
pounds for charity whilst losing them from the
thighs. It didn't rain and there were lorryfuls of
lime juice at every check-point. as well as sympathetic attendants with all manner of medicaments for 'blisters. St John's junior school
became Knebworlh for the afternoon as
RARE's familiar Walking urged the multitude
to keep going. Since then there has been the
hassle of collecting all the money; the porter's
lodge has suffered a deluge of clinking brown
envelopes.
Prize day was fun. several beaks were seen
to be happy. Brasser excelled and there was icccream at tea. The sporadic thunder sent parents
dashing for the Volvos beneath hideous golfing
umbrellas. The dance was tremendous. I didn't
recognise the Norwood Hall, nor the dinnerjacketed lounge lizards of the upper school. The
dancing lessons taught us to 'relate to the
music' which could (and did) mean anything.
Drama this term saw the French play-I.e
Barbier de Seville starring Caroline Wood as
Rosine and Paul Clement de L'Epine, who got
a drama prize for his Bartolo. The Lower
Sixth drama 'competition was dominated by an
accidental theme of waste and futility, which is
definitely not a reflection of life at Marlborough.
Jo Ashley's Mind of a dead man was fascinating. leaving the audience haunted by the question 'Can anything be half eternal'?' (Gosh!
Prize Day for Night pIlOte) by Nemesis
6
-Ed). The Shell play festival provided the usual
tour of the college for fans of drama and little
boys.
Brian Moynahan of the Sunday Times stands
out amongst this term's speakers for his disillusioning talk on the work of a war correspondent. Circe is rapidly gaining ground. The
new chairperson is Ms Anna Horsbrugh-Porter
with Ms Katherine Ellis as secretaryperson.
Other societies do exist and their activities are
reported elsewhere in your favourite school
magazine.
The burgeoning Marlborough rock n' roll
machine trundled on this term. Megastar-disco
boys RARE played a string of gigs about Marlborough and at several nice girls' schools. At
St Mary's Ascot the headmistress said; 'I tried
to like it'. RARE are now disbanding as most
of them leave but their very last performance
will be at The Embassy. one of London's leading gay clubs. The Last Wave headlined the
end of term concert in the Mem. Hall. supported
by those charming little chaps Reality and the
more relaxed Heavenly Blue. The important
classical concert of the term was given by
Fou Ts'ong.
Journalism within the college is on the increase-this summer saw the publication of the
highly profitable Exercise series of magazines.
The Newssheet. always With their fingers on the
very pulse of Marlborough, presented such redhot issues as transubstantiation. moral dissension and the size of captains' ties.
In the world of sport the cricketers stole the
show (Wow! -Ed). BI won the inter-house
athletics. Rob Case quashed a twenty-year-old
triple jump record. The tennis team shocked
Seven oaks with their capacity for alcohol but
the best thing to watch were the rippling muscles
of the tug-of-war teams (keep calm. Camilla
-Ed). Bl (again) won the colts competition and
B3 the senior.
Many beaks are leaving for a variety of
reasons. Lengthy obituaries appear elsewhere
in your favourite school magazine. Mr Avery
was in his element at the Rolls-Royce Rally
held in court, Bob Sanderson was in his at the
highly enjoyable 'Picknose' that he organised in
Savernake. His house was also mysteriously
flooded with water, almost destroying his collection of 4.665,747.736 Motown albums. Dr
Gibbons shocked the Remove with details of
his youth over tea and scones; they decided he
was 'a bit like Alice Cooper'.
News from the Shell tells of two adventurous
lads who were apprehended at 1.30 on a ledge
outside Preshute; they said they were 'just eating food'. (Oh Yeah! -Ed). Andy Lowe has
picked up Remove credibility by claiming to
have seen the Sex Pistols live. The Hundreds
(and a lot of the rest of the school) abandoned
work virtually en masse to sec the Rolling
Stones at Wembley. (See O.M. News -Ed).
Angus Wright has broken the record for the
shortest period of house captaincy ever-just
over two days. Muddy footprints appeared on
the ceiling of the Memorial Library, a pram
appeared on the roof of Museum block. road
signs appeared in court and a lavatory appeared
out of thin air. Strange goings on indeed, unexplained even by Eric von Daniken.
If you can extract any sense out of this
tedious tangle of trivia you are a better sleuth
than me (I give up -Ed), or my informers
Charles Brittain, Dan Sturgis, Paddy Barrett.
Willie and Johnnie.
The plot thickens .......... (It certainly
does -Ed).
Camilla Bonn
7
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Marlburianballs
"I am afraid I've lost interest in the pop
music scene now that Shakin' Stevens is out of
the charts"-Peter Carter.
"We can't have anyone drowning unless
there's a beak present"-Alan MacKichan.
"If Dr Rogers wants anything from me. he
gets it"-Jo Maguire.
"No wonder I'm the pin-up boy of the lowersixth girls"-H. de W. Weldon.
"We have an annual dinner every year ...."
-J. R. Thompson.
"The essence of King Lear is a man who decides to strip off in a thunderstorm"-Robert
Avery.
"I am an ignorant old baboon"-H. de W.
Weldon.
"I must have been watching the Dukes of
Hazard"-Petcr Carter, on having missed
Bonanza.
"This is not Preshute, this is not Summerfield.
this is B3"-M. C. Preston.
On Doc Martens:
"They have a punky and booty look"-The
Master.
"Once the hallmark of hooligans, now turned
overnight into the footwear of heroes by our
men in the South Pacific"-The Sunday
Express.
"He picked everything from his nose to his
bottom"-The Master on James I.
"I can't afford the Polly, it's too bourgeois
for me"-Chloe Colchester.
"I don't care who you are, I'm going to
spank you!"-Chloe Colchester.
Marlburianballs in the Making?
Extracts from Geography C.E.
Q. Why has the River Derwent been straigh-
tened?
A. So that they can build a road alongside it.
So that people can put Suez in it.
Q. Write an account of the farming activities
on a farm of your choice.
A. If it's a bull. it will be slaughtered, then
castrated. and then fattened.
When the cows want to relieve themselves.
they step out into the passage and relieve
themselves there to avoid messing their
sleeping beds. Afterwards a tractor comes
along and cleans it up.
The cattle are taken in a refrigerated ship
to another country. where they are slaughtered.
Sheep are reared where the annual temperatures are 30 inches.
Q. Why is the relief of Norway suitable for
Hydro-Electric Power generation?
A. Norway is very monotonous, so it is ideal
for generating H.E.P.
Q. Describe how coal is formed.
A. Millions of years ago the world was very
carnivorous. that is to say it had many.
many trees.
Q. How do you think the coal industry could
be revived?
A. There is no way the coal industry can revive
unless we leave the trees to rot for millions
of years.
Q. Describe the circle of poverty in a country
of your choice.
A. The people starve from the food here.
Q. Name the chief ports of import of iron ore.
A. Ore is transported to Hong Kong in Japan.
Q. State geographical reasons for the choice of
location of a town you have studied for an
iron and steel works.
A. Sheffield is a steel town. but she does not
have any iron or steel works.
9
Caption Competition
Hi kids. it's me again. Sans doubt you have
all been holding your breath to discover the
results of this term's compo so with relatively
little further ado. the winner shall be revealed.
This term great fun was had by all in judging
the drivel you sent us. and special thanks is due
to Greville Ward. (in fact last term's glorious
victor) for his really appalling rendering of the
following:
"Who are all these people?"
Ghastly, huh? However, full credit must be
given to the becapped funkster as he did in fact
win this term's little number with the classic:
Mrs. Ellis: "What about girls dress, Roj?"
Roj: "Here it is!"
So what if he won last term's as well? It's stuff
like this that makes me proud to be leaving.
and this time he shall receive 42 juggernautfu)s
of pure, (and only slightly diluted) Greek condensed milk and a free ticket to the next Fairport Convention gig. (You lucky guy. Grev.)
I want to go home. so I'm going to stop now,
have a nice term.
Doug.
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Crossword
ACROSS
I. For Len's case the punishment wasn't corporal.
(S)
5.
II.
12.
14.
IS.
16.
IS.
19.
20.
22.
23.
25.
2S.
30.
31.
32.
34.
35.
36.
38.
39.
40.
Where to confuse Dr Rogers' soft colour? (S)
Court (viewed from behind). (3)
How the oat industry provides food for thought.
(5, 6)
In winter the observatory's in use-but you may
get cold there. (5)
Up to bed, .... up! (5)
Exertion needed to turn Elmhurst round? (2,5)
Coat, S; it's in the little blue name list, and then
it's taken out. (7)
Underground from C House to B House? (7)
Broomsticks bring them once a year. (3)
Backward-Marlborough College is reputed to
bel (7)
Extra food? (7)
See 34 down.
Where last to sit together in . . . (2, 5)
. .. the place where Mr MacKichan gives direction to a House Master. (3, 4)
Head of Department has tree with a single ring
-it's used for teaching maths. (7)
Make holes in the Parade Ground? (5)
Here lies the toast of Marlborough, that from
the flat earth is taken. (5)
House up on a hill. (II)
Turner House isn't ... (3)
. .. and all, except the Head of Turner, are taken
from House when up to this. (3)
See I down.
Where the House Challenges are met and asked
about inversion. (4,4)
DOWN
l. & 39 across. Angry master, perhaps-with sabre
up-for Cotton House. (5, 3, 5, 3)
2 & 20. The opposites in Weldon. (3, 3)
3. Backing job for Marlburians. (5)
4. Up at night-HODs saw them out in the twilight. (7)
6. Worn out, I rested illegally in class. (3,4)
7. What some boys do in the CCF is nothing to
what they did! (5)
S. Block in which Common Room use umpteen
teaching aids for Business Studies-but still lose
capital around the corner! (5)
9. Head of Theology rules Housemaster hereupsetting for the little boys! (8)
10. Remove F fooled around, answering back on the
games field. (3, 4)
12. Where to be when it's hot-on the hill. (II)
13. Where all drown with H20 in a soup. (7,4)
16. 20 goes to town-by road in the song. (3,4)
17. Full marks for this year. (7)
20. See 2.
21. See in the laundry-she washes pyjamas. (3)
24. Biologist meets God-the Bursar? (8)
26. A wet dye for the kind of jacket you're allowed
to wear (1, 6)
27. One is punished by the club-and has to be
about early for it. (4, 4)
29. Shells are had up with the Head of School on
vice. (7)
30. Start OM Last Rites-for such as these? (7)
33. Just up from Prep school. (5)
34 & 25 across. Old man disturbed V-formation
when troops were inspected. (5, 3)
37. A House for little boys. (3)
38. Did he play up in Chapel? (3)
11
Ray Lewer
Ray Lewer came to the College in 1936 at
the age of nineteen, and ever since then he has
been the pivot around which much of the
organization of the school has revolved. Books.
exams, stationery, rail and coach tickets. sensible advice: as School Secretary he has dispensed them all with unfailing geniality and
quite breath-taking efficiency.
When he said in a recent interview for the
News Shcct that he simply played tennis in the
Book Office, 'Things come in, and I pass them
back out again into someone else's court,' he
didn't acknowledge the elaborate and meticulous mental processing that went on before he
returned the service. But when he said in the
same interview that he found exams the most
taxing part of his operations, because although
everything might be complete chaos behind the
scenes he felt the candidates must never be
fussed, he did hint at those qualities he possesses by which most people will remember him:
the endless good humour and unflappability
which he developed into a managerial style for
what he has seen as his main function here.
that of making the organisation run smoothly
for the benefit of everyone, boys and beaks.
New boys-and new teachers too. for that
matter-he has listened to with sympathy and
patience, and he has then probably suggested.
with unerring accuracy, that what they asked
for wasn't really what they wanted at all . . .
"Just let's see whether this will do instead ..."
And the client departs, comforted by having the
right sort of notebook. correct edition of a textbook. or whatever. and warmed by the kindness
and reassurance he has received.
Ray hasn't just dispensed books. he has cared
about them. and cared too that boys and girls
should be encouraged to read widely. Hence
his introduction. some years back. of the paperback section in the Book Office. which experiences a remarkable turnover: no sooner has a
new batch of novels come in than they are
snapped up. and although it all makes more
work for him he is always delighted that this
should be so.
For years Ray's wife. Doris. has helped him
in the Office with the same ready friendliness to
all their clients. We shall miss.:.them both. and
wish them a long and happy retirement at their
home in Manton. No-one can imagine that
either of them will ever cease to 'be busily
occupied.
Alan MacKichan
Alan MacKichan
Not many men. having lived. worked and
raised a family in one place for 28 years. are
ready to up stakes and move sideways to a new
challenge. The excitement and relish with which
Alan MacKichan has seized the opportunity to
do just that. grinning. to use one of his favourite
expressions. all over his face. displays the vision.
the breadth of commitment and the appetite for
innovation that. for me. mark him out as a
schoolmaster above his fellows.
Coming. as he did. from Cheam preparatory
school. it was only right and proper that he
should begin his career here as house tutor in
A House. but it was not long before Gill
appeared on the scene and diverted his alten12
tion. although he continued until very recently
to run games for lower school boys with infectious enthusiasm.
For four years Alan was head of the English
department. and it was his sense of style and
range of interest that made him such a good
teacher of the SUbject. not only in the College.
but also teaching English as a Foreign Language in the Summer School. a project with
which both he and Gill were closely associated
from the start. No boy ever gets the better of
Alan in a verbal duel: his choice of words
makes rapiers of them. but yet his wit and
humour take the sting out of the most telling
thrusts.
When. coming to Marlborough. our second
daughter was asked which house she would
like to go to. it took her no time at all to choose
Larry as her housemaster. For the full term of
fifteen years. he and Gill guided Summerfield
successfully and happily. a house full of friendliness and warmth. They were in the forefront
of the so-called Swindon Experiment when
boys from maintained schools were admitted to
free places in the upper school; it was they who
were the first to welcome girls into the hitherto
all-male preserve of their house. and it was
they who presided over the planning and building of the first bed-sitter block in the College.
Forward looking. outward looking. Alan is not
an ideologist but a practical originator. And.
as one O.M. put it after he had invited both the
MacKichans to a small leaving party: 'I never
knew Mrs MacKichan could be such fun'. She
too is a new-career girl: having started off as a
P.E. teacher, she re-trained recently as a social
worker. and now brings her characteristic vitality. fun and understanding to that demanding
task.
As a stage producer. Alan MacKichan has
enriched the College. over the years. with a
most impressive succession of highly attractive
shows. ranging from tragedy. through comedy
and light opera. to farce. His School Plays were
notable for their concentration on the text and
for their vitality. They gave very great pleasure
to cast and audience alike; it was. however. in
his Common Room productions that he fully
showed his eye for the absurd and his flair for
humorous theatre. the mode in which he excels.
His hilarious production of Thark was a particular triumph: he harnessed the striking individuality of his cast to the demands of the script
with glorious results. Thark. however. was only
one of a series of splendidly gleeful shows.
Surely his finest was Black Comedy. which he
produced for Penny Reading with a sureness of
touch and mastery of detail that gave continuous delight. Here was an outstanding master
of his highly contrived art. making it all seem
natural and completely effortless: dramatic
work of the very highest order.
The Bradleian Theatre. his clever and imaginative creation. which he has happily tended
over the years. has provided countless boyproducers with a splendid place to wor.k in.
His kindly guidance has always been available
to help boys. girls and adults when ~cquir~d.
Make-up and lighting have been speCial skills
which he has generously contributed to drama
at the ·College. Outside it. he has arranged and
supervised theatre-trips for innumerable Marlburians. His enthusiasm and zest for drama
have fired the imagination. and must have
fostered in many boys and girls an appetite for
theatre.
The catalogue of contributions that Alan has
made to Marlborough. both town and College.
runs on-town councillor. governor of both the
grammar school and the secondary modern
school. seeing them merge into the comprehensive St John's School that he had been advocating for years. protector of the environment
through the Civic Trust and by his own watchful care. artist (did you know that it was he who
painted the colourful mural of prehistoric monsters in the Biology Laboratories. and do you
know the identity of the gentleman in a duffle
coat depicted prodding dinosaur eggs with his
umbrella?)-as I say. the list goes on. But over
the last few years. Common Room has been
singularly fortunate to have had him as president. and the whole school has benefited hugely
from. even when it has not always appreciated.
his firm control and balanced advice.
The vision that saw in an old. crumbling
granary in Barton Farm. sadly crumbling too
far to be restored. the makings of a charming
house. is now going to enrich Haileybury. Much
as we shall all miss Alan and Gill. they will
soon be laying new foundations and building
new friendships and new enterprises there. We
wish them great happiness in their new work
and new home.
Michael Dain and Michael Davis
13
Stuart Hockey
So Stuart is off to Wales. He has been at successfully about the country. Behind the
Marlborough for twenty-five years. With the seemingly mundane chore of intelligence-testing
facts thus. one might imagine that a long and lay a wealth of interest and experience in educahappy retirement was in prospect for a man as tional psychology. If a lecture was needed in
institutional as the Corfield Memorial on to the realms of Freud and lung. Stuart could be
which he has looked for the past cleven years. relied on to produce a model of clarity.
And in the view of many. it was here that one
Yet this is far from the case. His career at
Marlborough has been typified by change and saw him at his best. for Stuart has a great
variety; his emergence as headmaster of Christ ability in producing clear analysis. expressed in
College. Brecon. fits into a pattern of enterprise terms of studied moderation. It was a gift that
and educational concern evident since his first he used widely. in teaching. in the writing of
books to which Who's Who in Education bears
appearance here in 1957.
Appointed to teach maths and physics. he witness. in developing Physical Science courses
was at the beginning of a long and at times in Cambridge. where he is Chief Examiner for
mercurial march around the estate. Rumour the Examinations Syndicate in the subject. in
had it that he only pencilled in his addresses in the Salaries Committee. in housemasters' delianticipation of the next move. At first he was a berations and in housemastering itself. He likes
vigorous tutor in A I. where he organised first the challenge of new problems. too; life in some
year games. a duty which he also performed aspects is an intellectual game. On his bookfrom his next port of call. Wykeham House. shelves. besides Hockey on Calculus. lies 107
By 1962 he was in the Sanatorium as house Great Chess Battles. and the only reason he
tutor for that part of Summerfield lodged there. visits Harrods is to engage the video-chess
and the next year saw him as tutor in CI. It games in mortal combat. He brings a similar
was a whirlwind existence: in the Lent term of momentum for creative analysis to S.M.P.
1962 the winds of secondment blew him to Maths and his filing cabinet. He solved a pracSheffield to study and advise on the workings tical problem or two in running the metal workof the United Steel Co. Upon his return he was shop twenty years ago. He helped to build
appointed head of the physics department.
'Merlin'. a computer. with the boys. and he
He wore his responsibility lightly. however. plays croquet and marbles with a scientific calEver eager to keep up his contacts with culation approached by few.
This style of approach has epitomised his
academe. he once again vanished on secondment one balmy evening of 1965. and surfaced housemastering as well. It has its amusing side.
in the Education Dept. of Southampton Univer- as in the amount of technology-buttons to
sity. doing valuable work for the Nuffield press and lights to flash-outside' his study. But
Foundation and the Schools Council. In 1969 once through the door. one discovers a man
he returned and was house tutor of B3 while he with his hands on all the strings. as it were. The
lived in Southfield for a brief time before he staggering complication of timetable. games
washed up on the shores of B2 as its house- options. Wednesday afternoons. lectures. chits.
master in 1971.
expeditions that befog the innocent fall into
I mention these facts since few people apart perspective at a touch from what I once heard
from those who were here during those years described as his menthol-fresh brain. It gave
would know them. Stuart is unfailingly modest one a sense of confidence to have him around
about his abilities. Take the bushel away, how- with the knowledge that administratively his
ever. and the light shines brightly. At a house house would run like clockwork. And this
concert held in his drawing-room it might dawn efficiency was coupled with immense attention
upon one that he was no mean musician. En- to detail. Of course. this is a double-edged gift.
quire a little further and one would reveal the Persistent. if good-willed. malefactors sometimes
ex-choirmaster of Ramsbury Parish Church. a found his memory rather too nagging for comsinger in virtually every choir here at some fort. his conscientious attention to the small
period. who could manoeuvre Youth Orchestras fault was sometimes resented. In the larger
14
areas of life. however. his Argus-eyed observation was used in the service of the great care
he took over the welfare of the pupils. academic
and non-academic. No stone would be left unturned. for instance. in the pursuit of UCCA,
and one suspects that many owe their success at
university partly. at any rate. to the strength of
his backing. Similarly. in college. nothing was
too much trouble. His acute observations. transformed into a memo. have saved many a department from moments of slackness. and many a
pupil from moments of underachievement. And
in all this he was wonderfully backed up by his
wife. Mary. whom we shall also sorely miss.
If she also held that rules were rules. her views
were combined with a warm humanity and
understanding that fostered the great ability of
B2 under Stuart's tenure to produce individuals.
Stuart was self-effacing. and Marlborough
filled up his reputation with myth. To some
boys he seemed an ogre with little sense of
humour. though he was kind and full of fun.
To others he was a legend of secrecy-Marlborough's equivalent of the Invisible Manthough he attended religious and musical events
regularly and his devotion to house sport bordered on martyrdom. Outside the College he
was one of the best-known members of Common Room-as a shrewd exponent of physics
who crossed the borders into algebra and sums:
and as a housemaster who was a clear-eyed
follower of the via media-not always the most
popular route. Marlborough without him will
be the poorer. In a world of swings and roundabouts. however. Brecon may well have hit
upon a crock of gold.
John Byrom
Tht Old Bakehouse·
Rtsfaufanf
4 PARADE
MARLBOROUGH
WILTSHIRE
TEL: (0672) 54172
OPEN: Tuesday-Saturday
Lunchtimes & Evenings
We also offer Sunday Lunch
IS
Michael Jeans . .Jakobsson
Michael arrived at Marlborough in 1971, at
the beginning of John Dancy's final year as
Master. He immediately established himself not
only as a versatile physics teacher, but also as
the 'beak with the most easily mis-spelt surname
-a record which he held until the recent arrival
of Mr Kwiatkowski.
As a teacher one of his strongest cards was
that from the outset (and particularly in those
early days) he was able to draw on experience
gained in the Larger World to enrich his work
both in the classroom and as a tutor. He came
here hot from his degree at York, but this had
been taken as a mature student following seven
years with Courtaulds and twelve months' VSO
in Guyana. This last episode made a particularly deep impression on him, so that in the
early seventies his tutees (and colleagues) were
treated frequently to vivid and hair-raising
accounts of expeditions into the Amazonian
interior.
It goes without saying that the industrial experience was invaluable to him. not only as
supervisor of the Projects Laboratory, which he
has been for all cleven years but also in his
teaching of potential engineers. Perhaps Michael
was at his very happiest in the classroom with
the physics-for-engineering Ox bridge candidates: like all of us he found many of the problems encountered intellectually demanding, but
his delight in the frequent beauty and ultimate
simplicity of solutions was evident and infectious to his pupils. When dealing with boys in
the Projects Lab. (often at the other end of the
Marlburian academic spectrum) he would always be the epitome of patience, with time to
chew the electronic cud and to take a jocular
interest in both their triumphs and their disasters. It was under his guidance that Thomas
Clark and Simon Peyton-J ones got into the
National final of the 'Young Scientist of the
Year' competition in 1975. Inevitably he was a
driving force behind our initial forays into the
16
computer world, and indeed he it was who
introduced the first microcomputer into the
College in the Projects Lab: it was the thin end
of a very big wedge.
His involvement in College life. however.
went far beyond science. He was, for example,
master-in-charge of hockey for five successful
years-himself normally coaching at Colts level.
No 'boys (and very few beaks) realise just how
demanding a job this is, with the vagaries of
the February weather ever liable to wreck the
most carefully planned schedules. He also ran
the Social Services in ·its early days. pioneering
the visits to Pewsey Hospital, and his activities
as a house tutor. first in At and latterly in CI.
have of course brought him into contact with
all sides of school life, from producing plays to
preparing confirmands.
He sees himself as much as a member of the
Town community as of the College. The cause
of Liberalism is close to his heart, and for a
while he was chairman of the: Marlborough
branch of the Party. He has also been a strong
supporter of the Christian Aid campaign, and
for seven years chaired the local committee and
shouldered all the seasonal organisation which
that entails.
For family reasons he is leaving us to take up
a post at St. Bartholomew's School, Newbury,
and it is no secret that he is sad to be leaving
the College. He leaves behind many good
friends and even more pupils who will miss his
candid loquaciousness and his dependability as
a teacher always prepared to go the further
mile. For us, his colleagues. two further memories will always bring back a smile: in Robert
A very's two famous Common Room plays as.
respectively. Pat. the wild-west barber with
Sweeney Todd tendencies, and the hapless (and
headless) ghost of Charles I haunting the Bloody
Tower ........ unforgettable!
Rupert Lane
Rupert Lane
Rupert Lane leaves at the end of term to
take up the headmastership of Monmouth
School. in an area of the country he knows so
well. He hails from Ross-on-Wye in Herefordshire. where his family have farmed for many
years. and was head boy of Dean Close School.
Cheltenham. before gaining a first class honours
degree at Trinity College. Dublin and captaining
the University Cricket XI.
We both began our teaching careers at Marlborough in September 1968 and coincided with
the entry of the very first girls here. which was
quite an experience! Rupert had rooms in New
Court and was a house tutor in Cotton and he
very soon made his mark in the classroom and
on the games field. His first experience of housemastering soon occurred when. alas. John Isaacson was taken ill and Rupert was asked to run
C2 for half a term.
Those were very enjoyable days for a young
beak at Marlborough. The town cinema (now
Wait rose) was a regular haunt. as was the
Norland Nurses Training Centre ncar Newbury.
In winter evenings. round the log fire in the Sun
Inn. we would gather to recount the day's happenings or reminisce how Robert A very had
once played on the wing for Scotland or hear of
Mike Hannell's experiences in Bugie Street in
Singapore. while on an England tour of the Far
East. Rupert was always in the centre of the
gang, adding his own witty comments and galvanising us all into further action.
He is. as many of you will know. a noted
games player. He narrowly missed a cricket
blue at Cambridge. where he studied Education
after Dublin. One of his greatest enjoyments at
Marlborough has been running the College XI,
jointly with David Green until 1978. when
Rupert succeeded David as master in charge of
cricket. and latterly with Michael Preston, Paul
Fisher and Nicholas Bunch. He has also played
with distinction for a wide variety of clubs and
teams, notably the Free Foresters. At golf he
rejoices in a single figure handicap. and many
trophies adorn his spacious rooms in Cl to
testify to his skill and ability.
Undoubtedly. Rupert has enjoyed his house-
mastering more than anything else. He took
over A2 from Graeme Walker in 1973 and
greatly enjoyed nearly five years there. before
succeeding Laurence Ellis in C 1. He was obviously pleased when three Senior Prefects in
succession came from CI recently. but his interest has always been in the house. as a whole.
Under his dynamic leadership. CI now rejoices
in much better accommodation and a splendid
house bar and. with the help of a fine bunch of
house tutors. the CI Funfare and an equally
successful bistro. have added to the house's
reputation. He has also much enjoyed his work
in the physics department. where he has taught
12.500 lessons since September. 1968!
Many of us have been innocent victims of
Rupert's lively sense of humour. when receiving
letters purporting to be from the Master asking
for one's resignation or from some prospective
parent asking far too many searching questions
-all on 'borrowed' headed notepaper! He very
much enjoyed 'setting up' a delightful young
lady in the Vlth Form to ring me up when the
announcement of H.R.H. The Princess Anne's
engagement to Mark Phillips became known
and I was conned into giving a supposedly 'exclusive' interview to Clare Hollingsworth of The
Daily Telegraph!
Rupert has had a great deal of fun from his
theatrical activities at Marlborough. both from
his expert knowledge of the lighting box. and
from 'treading the boards' himself. Who will
forget his "pipe-smoking triumphs" as the
British colonel in Ustinov's Love of Four
Colonels or his appearance. with Susannah
Spicer. in the Noel Coward Evening last
Michaelmas Term? He seems to play the role
of the straightforward. decent English gentleman with great aplomb. as if born to the part!
We are all going to miss his charming and
lovely wife. Judy. and his two splendid sons.
George and Joseph . . . . . not forgetting the
loyal Hectorl Above all. those who know him
well will miss a great friend-wise. cool in a
crisis. kind and compassionate. Monmouth are
fortunate in their new headmaster.
Martin Evans
17
Andy Lowe
You don't find many like Andy Lowe in the
teaching profession. He entered it late after an
extraordinarily diverse background that had
already included degrees in Biology and Marketing. jobs in Cadbury-Schweppes and in a
Norfolk pub and a short spell teaching at Gresham's befoie he cxploded in Marlborough three
year ago like an Exocet missile. delivered from
long range with minimum warning and maximum impact. It is good for the embattlcd altitudes of an institution like this to have such a
strong wind blowing among them. as though
the Master had appointed to the staff. say. a
Marxist revolutionary or a racing driver.
Though Andy is neither of these. nor very like
one or the other. he docs have the assertive
missionary zeal of the former when he touches
on any of his favourite themes-bird-watching.
boats and rugby football-and the bonhomie of
the latter (or of any sportsman really) when he
relates how he went through the mill of his experiences. Other characteristics spring to mind
but particularly his enthusiasm and commitment, and if I seem to ignore his Biology teaching it is because his willingness. even compulsion. to contribute to a wide range of extracurricular activities-Rugby. Sailing. CCF.
House tutoring-has incessantly let us know
where his heart lies and is precisely what school-
18
mastering in a large. varied set-up like Marlborough's must include. Andy demands. directiy
and genially. or if necessary abrasively. the
same enthusiasm and commitment from the
participants: the success of two Colts XV's and
last year's XL was founded on his rampant inspiration as a coach and one of his sailors recently and very aptly compared his role there
to a Sergeant-Major's. getting the men going.
mucking in with them on the job. occasionally
cussing. always chatting and above all enjoying
the camaraderie he creates. Behind his practical
wisdom there has been an obvious reservoir of
feeling. concern and understanding for individuals: Andy is in fact a deeply sensitivc and
emotional man as anyone will testify who remembers his rcaction to saving two boys' lives
on two separate occasions.
Though it may be quieter and more comfortable for us we shall miss him as he breezes
down to Somerset and we shall miss Diana. too.
whose talents as actress. teacher. wife and
mother have all too briefly been displayed here.
Our very best wishes go with them (and Tom)
for the next stage of Andy's extraordinary
career as Head of the Business Studies Deparlment at Millfield.
John Osborne
Plio to (needless to say) by Bill Lanyon
Prefects .- Summer Term 1982
Senior Prefect-Richard D. Hoile
Jonathan R. F. Scott
Francis W. Frost
Alistair J. Makin
Alistair M. Shaw
Mark G. M. Worlidge
Remi Adejumo
Jeremy D. E. Holden
Matthew J. K. Hickman
J. Rupert J. Seal
A. Toby Beazley
Charles P. N. Plunket
Charles Counsell
Bl
B2
B3
Cl
C2
C3
Barton Hill
Cotton House
Littlefield
Preshute
Summerfield
TumerHouse
G. Basil Arden
Richard W. Thompson
Peter H. Combe
Matthew W. Cooke
Helen J. Starks
Simon Bland
Julian C. Cripps
Robert A. Hodgson
Peter J. Lee
Charles S. L. Olver
Jeremy J. Sheldon
William J. S. Zuill
Captain of School
19
The Marlborough Walk
The College has recently held a sponsored
walk every five or six years. The charity selected
to be the recipient of most of the money earned
on the walk this time was The Royal Commonwealth Society For The Blind. This charity is
responsible for saving the sight of many thousands of blind people in developing countries
every year. The other, more mundane. purpose
of the walk was to keep us out of trouble for
one day of the term.
Early on the first Sunday of term a small
knot of several hundred walkers gathered nervously at the bottom of the playing fields. Those
who managed to get to the opening ceremony
were treated to a short firework display before
setting off. The first hurdle to be tackled was
the Four Mile Olump. There were only two
casualties by this stage. The rest of thc morning
went by without incident until lunch at St.
John's junior school. Here we were treated to
a special packed lunch prepared in Hall under
the orders of Sq. Ldr. Deacon. Those who were
running the whole way were given their first
dose of a green liquid which tasted slightly
salty. Unfortunately it was here at the half-way
post that many walkers decided that enough
was enough and that the blisters they had suffered needed treatment.
The rest struggled gallantly onwards over
hill and vale, and through cowpat. towards the
finish. Meanwhile the sun came out adding to
the misery to be suffered the next day by giving
us sunburn. Eventually the finish came into
view, as did a long bath and bcd.
Mr Birley must take the blame for the walk
as it was he that put it into practice. Who other
than Mr Birley cycled around the country at
all hours of the day to litter the countryside
with markers of all shapes and sizes pointing
in a bewildering number of directions? Thanks
are also due to those who manned the checkpoints. The Royal Signals were there in strength
to supervise communications and ferry drink
to the runners. Page three of their old newspapers revived many a weary body. Although
the money is still coming in at the time of
writing the total raised must be approaching
twenty thousand pounds. Well done walkers!
J. B. Smith
P/IOIO by lo/yo" Rose
20
Fable
The palace was on fire. The Hall of Justice.
one of its most prominent organs. was marching
off to oblivion. She left a short note:
"This palace treats me as if I don't exist. I
did -but now I go to find a place where I
don't-OBLIVION."
"Well." said the Senate Room. "old Justice has
really gone off her rocker. Congress!"
"Yes sir. what can we do for you. sir?"
"We would like a full report on the matterminimum 200,000 words. Understood?"
Congress nodded in agreement.
"Good. The matter is now closed. We shall
assume the powers of Justice forthwith."
Congress went back to its usual habitswriting reports. earning money, and deceit-life
was back to normal in the palace. But for Justice. a great and noble hall, life had suddenly
taken a bad tum since her strong resolution had
been adjudicated. She had been waiting outside
the palace, inside the grounds of course. Listening to this exchange she began to ha ve serious
doubts about her importance in the palace.
Her ego was shattered by Senate Room's decision to take on all her powers. They just didn't
miss her at all! What had happened to the old
moral ideas--Chivalry, Modesty. Honesty and
Justice?
"They can't simply rule me out by one Senate
order; I'm made of tougher stuff than that."
she muttered to herself resiliently. "I know. I'll
go to the people. I will ask for their support.
They surely cannot be as perverse as the main
palace. Yes. that's it, I shall ask the palace
grounds for support."
"WHAT?!" shouted the whole of the rest of
the palace. for this last was spoken out lOUd.
"You can't mean thaU"
"So you were spying on me. were you? I
always knew you were corrupt-in fact I was
going to judge you before (sob), before this
(sob)."
The Senate stared down coldly. but this only
seemed to harden Justice's resolve.
"In fact. I will go to the people. and they will
destroy you in the name of Justice!"
"But that is unconstitutional. Justice," said
the Senate. severely troubled. "You can't do
that. Remember we appointed you, and we can
dismiss you too. We have the mandate of the
people. elected democratically. to rule benignly."
"The mandate? But you were elected six
hundred years ago. That's not democracy-you
ha ve no mandate."
"Silence. Justice. You arc dismissed. Go. you
are banished forever from all of our grounds."
So Justice left the palace and its grounds.
and beyond its walls. This was incredible. really.
for there was nothing outside the palace walls.
There was no time. no matter. no energynothing. But Justice lived on. because Justice
cannot be destroyed. She can be perverted. lost.
banished. mutilated. but She will live on in the
minds of her people. As long as there are people
unconnected with the palace. ignorant of the
government's deceit. She lives.
The palace was disturbed. Reports were coming in that the people were rallying for Justice.
preparing for liberation. The Senate called a
meeting between himself and Congress to deliberate the matter. After several weeks. a bill
was proposed. with a few amendments to the
original. and four retracted clauses. The motion
was passed! All people unconnected with the
palace-all those not in the government-were
gUilty of collaborating with Justice against the
democratic government. THEY MUST ALL
DIE.
So all the people died.
So Justice died.
But the government lived on. studying the
effect of its last law on tax returns. Life was
back to normal in the palace.
Charles Brittain
21
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22
Book Reviews
The Hut Six Story by Gordon Welchman.
In this. his first book. O.M. Gordon Welchman tells of his wartime involvement with the
group of mathematicians who worked to crack
the 'Ultra' secret and hence break the allegedly
unbreakable German cyphers. As a young
Cambridflc mathematician hc was assigned to
Bletchley Park in Buckinghamshire at the outbreak of war and there set up a new organization to exploit the skills of a small group of
code-breakers. The unit became known as Hut
Six from its modest place of work. The Hut
Six Story tells of thc men and women who were
involvcd in the operation. the pressures it placed
on them and the success they had. The breaking
of the 'Enigma' codes was instrumental in considerably shortening World War Two.
Welchman does however go into great and
often obscure details in order to explain the use
of code and cipher. The Hut Six Story is a
highly specialised book which those with a
keen interest in code and Military Intelligence
will find highly sf.imulating. Priced at £8.95.
however. it is not a book that can be recommended for the casual Marlburian reader; your
favourite school gets a brief mention but this
book is largely devoted to the mathematical
intricacies of Hut Six. What Gordon Welchman
and his colleagues achieved was of great importance and he deservcs to make a few bob
from his lengthy volume to see him through his
declining years.
The Hut Six Story was published on July 23
1982 by Allen Lane.
Miles Fletcher
Old Pants and Socks, Their Story by X.
The initial reaction one receives from this
book is of deep shock that the events described
'Nithin can be attributed to the teachers of one
of the major public schools in the country.
Although the school is given a pseudonym. the
description of the Master leaves one in no doubt
which of the public schools it refers to. I quote
from the book.
'Fried carrots. roast potatoes and lasagne!'
Such a quote cannot capture the full flavour of
the book as its nutty taste masks all others.
However if dumplings are added along with
thyme and parsley a more objective approach
is made.
The book deals almost exclusively with scandal surrounding the school and several anecdotes from the author's own brief stay are related. These anecdotes are. out of necessity,
rather short. as his time at the school ended
rather abruptly with a summons to the Master's
Lodge. One of the more amusing exploits involved the head of English. Captain of School.
Senior Prefect, a school tomato, a tin of baked
beans and a pair of blue pants. Not surprisingly
the Captain of School came off worst.
The final impression the book gives is of a
two-week-old sandwich. The covers are rather
crispy whilst the inside leaves a slightly unpleasant aftertaste.
Justin Smith
23
CEPHALUS AND PROCRIS (a fragment)
Ye men of learning, /ift up thy frosted orbs;
Men of science, unsheath thine unyielding ears,
And hearken at this tale of sadness that straight absorbs
All shape of feeling. Let not thy years
Blacken dear life as it but daubs
More pain upon our poorly race; it smears
No fresh blood o'er our sickly wounds, revealed
Their earthly sins by God's almighty shield.
But throw not books aside in vicious spite,
For though our tale is sad indeed,
It shows forth nothing trite.
A thing that rather sheds the seed
Of life, does it unclasp in glorious sight,
For all men to marvel at and concede:
Yet let us no longer dwell upon
This lowly care, and so on top our steed be gone.
'Tis a myth of comely love we deign to tell
Of two bold lovers who'd ever lie
The other near and so trancelike swell
Their passion. Cephalus and Procris, so nigh
To earth, but yet did seem an heavenly bell
Hung round their necks that would always sigh
When 'pon its cheek did feel their sated breath,
Inflamed with love that feared no death.
Ne'er could they part, but from their hearts
Did rise a pain so harsh that sleep ne'er came,
So deep had Cupid's aching darts
Been shot. They'd lie in wait, the other's name
Constant 'pon their [ips and neither starts
From shout nor hated foe could tame
Their minds from thoughts which held
Them sweet; for sure their love was steadfast welled.
When their eyes did touch, it seemed
The very gates of heaven burst asunder
And from out its fragment climes there beamed
A vivid light that not e'en wonder
Knew. Its mellow goodness lithely streamed
Within the breasts of men, and so did noble thlilYder
Cease his drums to beat; then all grew calm
Where ere had fed full oft a cowardly qualm.
In shady glades they'd sit and gaze
Upon the air, as if 'twas there they'd find
Some solace new. like wishful strays,
They'd stay their lives away, entwined
In soothing fairies' balm. The days
Would come and night would endless bind
His sleeping rays from in his dark abode,
But in this world. time weeping strode.
Hayden Vivash
24
WHEN IT HAD ALREADY HAPPENED
Down in the cellars where the rats lie,
waiting for sharp tap of man's foot on concrete to
Quench their hunger, the four minute warning was
heard, and the people's ears shunned it.
No fear was absorbed.
They even laughed.
And afterwards the senile cripple (who knew all and
said that it would come to no harm) was afraid.
On the banks of a river
a mother cried for her child the morning after.
He was only four years old.
Where the wild berries grew. a bomb shelter
for those few who were left to
suDer the aftermath.
Some help-when it has already happened . ..
On the second day.
Mindless figures without ambition
began to clear the debris from the roads.
No words were spoken.
On the third day
they had cleared all the roads
but there was nothing to go on them.
and weeds began to grow through the cracks in the
tarmac.
Nobody knew how to make cars.
so they made go-cars
that went down-hill and not up.
Then they had to make somewhere to go
and nobody knew what.
Not a suggestion was uttered.
Their lips (the few who had been left to suDer the
aftermath) were silent.
Their eyes did not see and their minds could not
create anymore.
And it was on the seventh day when a poppy
grew out of the earth and pierced the ground floor of
a semi-detached house in the south of London. that the
world gave birth
to a second beginning.
Nick Daniel
2S
Print by lames Fie/Illes
26
Plloto by Bill Lanyon
Woodsmoke on frosty air,
Damp leaves cling leech-like to perspiring earth,
Now held rigid, numb in the iron air's chill.
Corpse-like, yet delicately traced
By almost careless patterns of the frost,
Sterilised by the cold
01 a world with colours
Only shades
01 dark to grey-advancing middle age.
The world is balding, and its belly,
Grown fat on easier days,
Lies taut over brittle ribs
That splinter now from ice's metallic bite.
De/ialU chatter 0/ the sparks
Suggests phoenix in the ashen glow,
Attempted resurrection,
But,
LAcking in conviction, light accepts de/eat,
Flesh withers away to whitened bone
And hairless skull.
The world has grown old
And frost
Polishes the pebbled hollows of the eyes,
Unyielding and permanent
Cenotaph to death's sterile supremacy.
Memory is dulled
Woodsmoke starts the eyes.
Charles Olver
THE BLACK HOLE
A head contains a brain, which is
A small black hole that needs
To be /illed, until overflowing, with a mass oj facts of life.
These include:The Table of Relativity;
The Reproduction system of a Hydra;
The amount of LAtin words a two year old Roman would know;
One hundred and one ways of getting out of a Physics lesson;
A plan to get rid of the grotty English master.
And the last six managers of England;
And that's just about all.
It's not very much, is it?
Richard Head
27
D
R
A
M
A
Photo by Sophie Blllier
French Play-"Le Barbier De Seville"
The Barber of SevilJe. by Beaumarchais. is
a comedy set in 18th-century France. The plot
centres around the beautiful Rosine (Caroline
Wood), who is a virtual prisoner in the clutches
of Bartolo (Paul Clement de L'Epine). a wellto-do bourgeois lawyer. Count Almaviva (Pas28
cal Baxter) falls eagerly in love with Rosinebeing helped in his quest by the resourceful
Figaro (Euan MacKay). the barber of Seville.
Bartolo is aided by Bazille (Chris Ph iii psborn), the sly, money-grabbing .... priest .....
who is Rosine's tutor. In a whirlwind of intrigue
and deceit Almaviva gets his woman. Rosine
gets her man. Bazille and Figaro get their
money. and poor Bartolo is left with nothing.
The cast was supported by Bob Read (as
l'Eveille). Julius Landell-Mills (as Ie Notaire).
Jean Michel Heffron (as l'Allade). and Phil
Whyte (as la Jeunesse). The humour of the first
night was unwittingly added to by a temperamental harpsichord-skilfully mended by dashing Almaviva in mid-recital. Caroline Wood's
cleavage consumed a vital prop and her efforts
to retrieve it caused great distress to Almaviva.
Both performances were greatly appreciated.
especially by those at the first night. who were
more aware of what was happening. The acting
was very professional-special mention here to
Paul's gouty. grouchy Bartolo. to Chris' slimy
Don Bazille and to Euan's jovial Figaro. Pascal
and Caroline made a lovely couple-both
emerging as comic experts of improvisation.
These were strongly supported by good performances from Julius. Bob. Phil and JeanMichel.
The evening was made enjoyable by Adrian
Leang's musical accompaniment and magnificent costumes made by Mrs Grolfman. Thanks
also to Bernie Norman for the fine set and the
technicians for all the work.
Plloto by Bill Lallyoll
Congratulations to Gerald Groffman for his
meticulous production. Offstage his huge contribution and that of omnipresent prompter
Camilla Bonn gave us all great confidence.
Julian Benson & Chris Philipsborn
Shell French Drama Competition
Pllot() by Nemesis
On a torrid evening in June. the nine French
Shell sets assembled in the Bradleian. fiJling it
to the brim. to join in on a new venture: the
Shell French Drama Competition. Each set
performed a play. or a section of a play. lasting
no more than ten minutes. The evening was
spent in an atmosphere of good will, good
humour and great enthusiasm. Though no
English was spoken, the plays were intelligently
received by a perceptive audience.
Deliberately. it had been decided that the
stress would not be laid on the acting-though
here and there budding talent revealed itself.
The object of the exercise was rather to bring
out the art of speaking correct French fluently.
with a proper intonation and an accent as little
reminiscent of English as possible. The general
29
outcome was extremely gratifying and great
credit must be given to boys of 13 or 14 who
are able to express themselves so competently
in a foreign language. It would be invidious.
amidst so many gifted participants, to pick out
names, but. if one only were to be given, it
might well be that of Matthias Smith whose
poise, and precise and clear delivery certainly
deserve mention. He made a first-class "compere".
The reaction of the young audience, had it
had its say in the matter, leads one to believe
that it would have chosen as the best play of the
evening the rumbustious dramatization of an
episode of "I.e Petit Nicolas". In its wisdom.
the jury decided otherwise and gave out its
choice of the three best performances. Those
were the ones which were given once more on
Prize Day. this time before parents whose
knowledge of the French language was, one
hopes, as great as that of their progeny.
William Latham
Lower Sixth Drama Competition
The evening opened with a moving introduction from the lips of the resplendentlyattired Robert Avery. He apologised on behalf
of the Lower Sixth for their being a bsent. It
seemed they were all playing Cricket.
However. the cast of Mind of a Dead Man
made use of this extra time by plastering as
much make-up on their faces as possible. and
with the swish of the curtains the drama began.
Lloyd Thomas was struck down and concussed
before Mr A very could find his seat and this
fast action set the tone for the rest of the play.
Virginia Sleep as the Doubting Charwoman
bustled on and off the stage incessantly while
Henry Stuart. dreamy as ever. gazed out forlornly at the motley audience. No problems
here with lines and this has to be commended
in the light of last year's historic failures.
Joe Ashley's casting was excellent for Instinct
which grunted. belched. bellowed and gurgled
enchantingly-froln the "gross lascivious clasps"
of the missing link we were hurled into the arms
of our man from the Fashion Dept.. Viscount
Moppel playing at Intellect. and back again to
the leather-bound Henry 'perversion' Creagh.
The flower-strewn. drug-crazed druid happily
weaved through the cast, chuckling and whispering his sleepy lines-he was 'Love'. the Gate30
way to Heaven on Earth. To round off the lighthearted confusion we received the morals of the
play from the author's own lips. Joe Ashley. as
the baked Buddha, informed us first that we
are all knobs of butter. then Gods in disguise;
and as the sulphur cleared the audience was
left wondering. how gods disguise themselves as
butter or how knobs disguise themselves as
gods. Those who had lines spoke them well and
the dramatic content. make-up. effects and
humour all earmarked this playas one which
had to win.
The Naturopath was a farce. and quite an
effective one. which at least appealed to the
belly of Mr Snodgrass who was to lead the more
extravert members of the audience in an evening of loud, unrestrained laughter. Philippa
Maguire sat smiling secretarially at stage right
while a row of patients with highly unusual
and unlikely ailments lined the back wall. In
turn they were cured-of oversized noses.
attached parrots. pregnancy. vast growths. (such
as Fenella's) and battered skulls. Will Priddy.
debatably a Rastafarian. was free to return to
Brixton with a reconstructed skull. In fact.
apart from Jeremy Grace. whose nose diminished negligibly in size after seeing the Doctor.
all received miraculous cures. Somewhat inevitably Oily Wigdahl. the Doctor. had inherited
every single one. The idea was good but the
execution was not really very satisfying.
Tender Mercies had a more meaty theme.
It gave us a frank reminder of Hitler's Final
Solution that few can have expected from the
competition. Although Douglas Lines was
about as convincing a Gestapo Sergeant as
Brigitte Bardot a nun. the Ausehwitz violinist.
the racially prejudiced Jon Snell and Katherine
Acland (a cross between Margaret Thatcher and
Enoch Powell) were all characters well portrayed. This play did well as one drawn from
contemporary affairs which succeeded in executing its aims.
Chequer Board Replay had a well-conceived
plot which was only slightly let down by the
cast but most of all 'by the audience. Mark
Wordley confronted us as a bullied schoolboy
who throws himself on the Blackfriars tracks.
The discord and confusion had begun-the
piety of a priest (Huw Llewellyn) was offset by
a slightly Chaucer ian Nun who bemoaned the
worldliness they were missing. Again, the
priest's part was cleverly contrasted with. Anna
Horsbrugh-Porter. a gin-soaked wreck who
declared upon surveying Wardley's charred remains. "Why should we help him? 'E's dead
ain't he?" The audience was understandably
sympathetic as the plot had all but disappeared.
However. it re-emerged when Johnny Malpas
began to strum his guitar and Mark Golding
chanted the familiar Jamaican ballad. "He's
got the whole world in his hands" and slowly
the discords began to creep into the song while
Mark Wardley re-enacted his fate. now as a
happy family man. Whether this was symbolic
of Heaven or Hell I don't know. but the strong
plot made this. for me. one of the more impressive plays.
The Drinking Fountain began impressively.
Candida Thring maintained a nauseating invective against her husband. Nick Crowther.
and their two equally infuriating children. Nick
Crowther. totally dominated. played his part
exceptionally and having become inseparably
attached to a drinking fountain struggled feebly
to free himself. Candida Thring took not the
slightest notice and warbled on. Will Pym began
to play cricket at the front of the stage (which
seemed a little pointless) and soon joined the
rest of the cast to stare at the unfortunate husband. The final scene was an array of bodies.
all stuck to imaginary fountains. The idea was
not totally origina'l. but The Drinking Fountain
was nothing if not dynamic.
The Schoolmaster's Dilemma, a'lthough im·
mensely funny to the Marlburian audience. was
almost certainly rather dry for Mr Nicholas
West. the adjudicator. Nevertheless. we a'll en·
joyed Bra Bannatyne's robust Mr Weldon.
Angus Donald's portrayal of Michael Davis
plus bicycle. and Nick Brown's perfect reproduction of Mr Irwin's verbal mannerisms. such
as 'I observed the jettisoning of spherical snow
piles.' Clive Pinnington's production was excel.
lent in that the character sketches never came
too close to the bone. nor went over the top.
Indeed. comments on a certain beak's wine
became embarrassing not to the beak but to
certain Marlburians. The theme was somewhat
buried by the sketches and by the fact that an
the cast were obviously enjoying themselves so
much. A quick reference to the Falklands
seemed to be rather desperate and late for something topical to pad out the play and it would
have benefited from an omission of any such
references.
ne Telephone Syndrome was possibly the
least effective of all the plays in that rather
laborious telephone conversations took up too
much time. A semi-circle of chairs and telephones ruled out any chance of the impressive
visual drama that had been the highlight of the
other plays and the continuity from one clipping
of conversation to another. which surely must
be the essential aspect of a play about telephone
talk. The floundering play was saved by Nicol
Henderson's cleverly acted part of the German
psychiatrist who analysed and summed up his
patients with a profound. 'What they once were
like is something you and I are too blind to
see.' More psychiatry and less chat would have
helped this production considerably.
Yorick Brute threatened to be a series of uninspired. poorly adapted Shakespearian isms.
but. thankfully. it was more refreshing. Within
the story of a new boy (Yorick Brute) arriving
at a new school. Mark Gibbons managed to include a Porter in the tradition of Macbeth's
Porter and several Marlburian beaks: 'Well
said Old Mole' and 'Is this a magger I see before
me?' Perhaps the cleverest adaptation was "A2;
Brute" during a roll call but the misquoted reference to Yorick in the gravedigger scene was
perhaps a little inevitable. The audience was
rightly impressed but the play seemed artificial
in that it had evidently been built around a
number of quotes and had little more structure
than that.
Black and White began in front of the curtains. The author-producer. Chris Hill. seated
in nappies and cot. appeared. like his twin
sister. to be the normal. tantrum-prone infant
that we laboriously learn to love. Far from it.
These two were anarchists and prophets in
embryo. They had seen a television programme
on a nuclear holocaust and were now discussing
the gory details of it. These two children were
both sadistic and sexual: Chris Hill couldn't
wait for his next breastfeed. As the curtains
opened we beheld a Wargame played on a chess
board between the Whites and the Blacks (presumably the Reds as well). The Blacks were
defeated and dropped the bomb. represented by
an ominous black tube. The lights were cut.
and once the fall·out had dispersed and daylight returned. all that was left was a split
chessboard. the sound of a crying baby and a
dejccted Snoopy doll on the table. The return
to aspects of childhood threw our minds back
31
to the first scene and drew the play into a
coherent whole. The stage was uncluttered. and
provided maximum impact; deservedly. Chris
Hill's production was judged equal second.
verbally and visually it was both a highly amusing and intelligent production.
The acting. almost invariably in this year's
competition. was a good deal better than for as
long as I can remember. which is not very long:
although of course I choose to exclude last
year's efforts. All the same it is still surprising
to see what the young 'uns can manage when
they put their minds to it.
Seb Rose
The Dinner Party. despite its somewhat drab
title. ranked alongside Black and White in the
final adjudication and deserved its place. This
made great use of the Bradleian stage space
and created an effective livingroom atmosphere.
The conversation was polite and boring as the
guests gossiped and praised their own offspring.
For Larry Hickey all this over-enthusiasm became unbearable and he let fly at his wife The VictQrian EveningOne Man's View
(Marina Snow) for her intolerable self-interest
and annihilating dullness. Confounded guests
1 can only assume that the editor has asked
gasped and gaped at this outrageous insult to me to review The Victorian Evening because
their hostess but Larry Hickey continued in this my ignorance on all matters musical. cultural
same vein concluding that if his wife's 'friends' and historical has become public knowledge.
were true friends they would not mind his accu- Never mind! I shall continue to follow my guidsations. The point was well made. The cast were ing precept that ignorance of a subject should
not distracted by the audience despite the close never prevent one stating one's opinion.
proximity of Larry Hickey and Marina Snow
A Victorian Evening was celebrated in the
to the edge of the stage. Indeed. throughout the Adderley on Saturday. 3rd July. The room was
evening there were few failures in the fields of packed with a discriminating audience who.
line learning or stage presence.
thank goodness. were not required to attire
Last but not least. The Beginning of the End, themselves in appropriate costume like 'The
by Liz Awty. rounded off an cxcellent evening. Good Old Days'. If they had. there would barely
Sid (Phil Spruce) and Stan (Jimmy Vinl) sat have been room for the bustles. crinolines.
drinking in a pub. Suddenly. an enormous cx- muttonchop whiskers. discarded toppers and so
plosion and screams. the sound of falling debris on. The performance consisted of a series of
and stifled moans shattered the stage set. Ex- readings and songs. some twenty-five separate
ploiting the secret of great comedy. Sid's timing events. The readings. produced by Clare Russell.
was perfect. for after two seconds of silence. he and the musical items. by Andrew Leang. were
eloquently uttered the word 'Shit' followed by enjoyable. entertaining and admirably done.
'Bloody Russians'. The Day of Judgement had and combined to give an evening I would hate
arrived and the few survivors. who coincident- to have missed. It was followed by a wine punch
ally represented a perfect cross-section of of sufficient strength to amplify one's enjoyment
society. gathered together to be judged. Hum- at the time. and remind one of it the following
phrey Gravell and Katherine Ellis gazed lov- morning.
ingly into each others eyes while Lucy Hall
It is. we are told. invidious to pick out inportrayed the sort of emancipated lady who can dividuals in such circumstances. particularly
take anything in her stride. including a nuclear where the judgement (mine) is so essentially
warhead(!). Guy Hake. a vicar. assured everysubjective. So. of course. I shall do so. The
one. including himself. that 'the meek shall in- impressions left in my mind after a two-day
herit the carth'. The final touch was the Chorus. lapse make a mixed bunch:
Who with 'Jesus Saves' on his T-shirt. declared
-the amorous passion in Chris Rathbone's
that God moved in mysterious ways. All those
voice
as he begged Maud to join him in the
holding crisp packets were to be saved. The
garden.
for a purpose not specified.
rest were to meet their awesome and infernal
-my delight in Sandra Clark's claim to be
fate. Despite a profusion of words on both
hands and arms. sadly. the Chorus forgot a few considered as a married sewing machine. and
lines. For what it is worth. I reckon this play my disappointment when I found that she
deserved a higher place than it received for wasn't on the market.
32
-the awfulness of the Barber's Shop Quartet
contrasted with the pleasure the individuals
gave me when they performed individually.
-the surprise at seeing a member of the PE
department at an event of such culture. followed
by the impressive fact that David Whitaker was
the only performer not to use the book. followed by the really moving effect of his marvellous performance.
-the pleasure of Andrew Davis' General
Gordon and my amusement despite the fact
that I found the subject matter in questionable
taste.
-the power in Marion Milford's solo voice.
the higher notes of which shook me to my very
foundations.
-the sheer professionalism of Diana Lowe
and also, to my surprise, of David Whiting in
their solo and combined readings.
-the pleasure I got from the singing of the
only boys involved. Adam Goodison, David
Picton-Turberville and Jason James.
-the total incomprehensibility of the extract
from Robert Browning. though John Osborne's
confident performance convinced me that it did
actually mean something. It is possible that a
quick forty winks at this stage of the evening
may have caused me to miss the point.
-the enthusiasm of Bob Sanderson whose
resurrection of the Green Eye of the Little
Corny God actually succeeded.
I seem to have gone on for as long as the
performance lasted. and still haven't mentioned
Jasper Selwyn or John Witheridge. Andrew
Brown. Jenny Ball or the accompanists or Frank
Burrow whose duet with Chris Rathbone should
really have been the finale (except for the punch
-credit of David Heaton) of an evening of enjoyment and culture: not always such happy
bedfellows as they proved to be on this occasion.
Tony Backhouse
Shell Drama Festival
Mr Nikolsky greeted the assembled audience
in the Common Room Garden with the words
'see if you can understand it. I can't: referring
to Shell E's play What About A Dance Then?
This proved to be an amusing play consisting
largely of a group of somewhat stupid peasants
who seemed to be almost continually 'under the
influence'. They were supported by an anxiousto-please vicar. (Rev. Marsh'!) and a somewhat
snobbish major.
Our next venue was Turner House Garden
where we were asked by Mr Savage's Shell B
for Your Attention Plcllse. A radio announcer
told the country of an approaching nuclear warhead. while the police dealt with CND demonstrators and two parents candidly tried to kill
their children berore entering the fall-out
shelter. While recovering from this dramatic
play we moved on to Summerfield Nets where
Shell D performed It's Just Not Crickct. This
amusing play dealt with a cheeky young mortal
who reckoned he was more handsome than
Zeus and consequently found himself changed
into a woman. This made him/her think he/she
was more beautiful than Venus!
Level Broadleaze Pavilion was the setting
for Shell P's extract from A Midsummer Night's
Dream. This rather ambitious play within a
play was well performed with only slight difficulty with Jines. The colourful props. the music.
and the beagles provided a good setting. Shell
A made up the two opposing armies for the
battle of Agincourt. using extracts from Henry
V. The French cavalry were re-horsed on bikes
and tried desperately to destroy the stalwart
English lines. The great English longbows finally saved the day and produced the rout of the
French.
On arrival at Elmhurst we were met by Shell
Q's The Ides of July. This included a crowd of
striking railwaymen. a group of bungling bankrobbers and some bacon that just refused to be
eaten. Julius Caesar appeared as a bank
manager!
Whilst still trying to work out the meaning of
this play we moved on to the running track
where Shell C presented The Country of the
Blind. This complex tale took place in a country
where the people were blind. An intruder is
threatened with the removal of his eyes in the
interests of conformity. This adaptation of H. G.
Wells' classic story rounded off an extremely
successful evening of plays during which great
fun was had by all.
Ian Penman
33
T
A
L
K
s
Plio to by Sopllie Butler
"Foreign Reporting: History and the
Hack"-Mr Brian Moynahan, Senior
Editor, Sunday TImes Magazine
"There is no need to bribe or twist:
Thank God for the British journalist."
34
The first thing that Mr Moynahan asserted
was how little we all think of journalists; they
share the lowest public esteem with politicians.
Perhaps this isn't so surprising considering the
power they now possess, something clearly
illustrated 'by the scandals surrounding Water·
gate. thalidomide, Vietnam, the Moonies,
Jeremy Thorpe and Nicaragua. The Press did
more damage to the Americans in Vietnam
than anything else; they revealed the atrocities
committed, the men taking drugs, and the fact
that four civilians were being killed for every
one guerrilla. Thus in San Salvador the two
sides were careful that the Press got to sec the
right things-which wasn't too hard with 300
journalists in the area; but it got to the stage
when the guerrillas were timing their moves to
ensure maximum media coverage. We were told
quite a lot about war correspondents, and given
a potted history of the hack. Kitchener called
them 'drunken swabs' since they were often
seen as having a good time; hence they were
never trusted. The situation hasn't changed
much since the first days of war reporting because journalists still have to write selling news.
This was shown by Mr Moynahan's taking a
piece from the Daily Mail's coverage of the
Falklands; he 'proved' to us how there wasn't
one single bit of true information in it. I suspect
he did this not merely to make his point, but
also to try to undermine any faith we hold in
the so-called tabloids as worthwhile newspapers.
a day-to-day chronicle of the planet Earth as
far as is possible in the limited amount of space.
Grudgingly, I admit he has a right to be proud,
because the Times' Law and Parliamentary
reports are used as sources, and obituaries are
always written with great detail. But only grudgingly, because I didn't like his patronising
attitude towards the papers that give an enormous number of people much satisfaction, and
also because a man who rarely looks at his
audience does not make for an arresting
speaker.
Freddie Baveystock
The Co-operative Ideal
To many of us the co-operative probably
means the well-known high street shop, or for
some of us. perhaps, the milkman. However. as
Mr Garth Pratt informed us, the co-operative
ideal has far greater significance and is involved
in a large sphere of commerce.
It is the biggest retailer in Britain-one third
of all milk being produced and distributed by
the co-operative. and it is in fact the sixth
largest bank. O.K.. it is very large. but what
The man who went to school with Nigel is it?
Dempster also went into another facet of the
Well. it all began back in Rochdale in 1844
Press: that of investigative reporting, whereby
when the first co-op shop was opened by a group
a long-term examination is given to a specific
of people who had decided that they should all
subject, often taking the form of detective work.
have an equal share in the shop. and that each
This was how Philby and Blunt were revealed,
member should have one vote. In addition to
although this line of work does produce the
this it was open to women, who also had a vote
problem of the journalist who receives vital
and an equal share. This was remarkable for
evidence, but is sworn to secrecy so that he can
1844. since women did not get the right to vote
get his scoop; professional enthusiasm before
in the parliamentary system until 90 years later.
the Law-like the BBC crew who filmed the
These people were reacting against the high
IRA at work. There is an outstanding example
prices
they were paying for low quality goods, in
of how this over-zealous and rather righteous
approach (c.f. the Daily Mail's crusade against an effort to provide a better deal for everyone,
the Moonies) can be damaging; the Daily Ex- and it was made clear from the start that they
press once ran a headline that claimed that would all share whatever losses or profits there
Martin Bormann was alive and well in Para- were. The idea caught on because people realguay. He was actually a native of the country ised that if no single group held sway. the stanwho worked in a factory as well as possessing dard of goods would rise because there could
his unfortunate name. We were assured that the be no monopolization of the market.
Times would never make such a mistake beOver the years the movement has grown from
cause it is a 'journal of record' rather than a one shop to a vast empire in this country alone,
mere 'pop.' that relishes the indiscretions of though as is usual with British inventions. it
human nature. Naturally our Brian was some- has done even better abroad. However, wherwhat dismissive of those papers of inferior ever it now exists, it still maintains the same
quality that sell far more than the Times; he principles as the original shop in Rochdale: the
sees his role as one of a historian who compiles people involved are working together for the
35
common good on the basis of cooperation as
opposed to confrontation.
The co-operative also works in other areas.
such as housing, though this is not so common
in this country. In Scandinavia certain estates
are owned asa whole by everyone living there,
and they ha ve found that this renders the atmosphere far more friendly.
The co-operative movement is the largest
voluntary organization in Britain, and is ever
on the increase, especially in these times of
recession and unemployment when people are
looking for a way to ease their troubles. It is a
refreshing approach to commerce, and even the
large private firms are beginning to sit up and
take notice. Marks and Spencers is one company that saw the merits. and used the principle
in a modified form to make their staff feel an
integral part of the business. The result is a
satisfied, comforta ble atmosphere that has
helped make Marks and Spencers what it is
today. In the future it is a certainty that we shall
see the further growth of the co-operative movement. and if industry is not too short-sighted it
will take a leaf out of the co-op book for its
own benefit.
John Snell
Going to Art School-Edward Draper
In a desperate attempt to stick with the corporate identity of this magazine, this review is
going to be uncharacteristically brief (we hacks
have a tough time too, you know!) Those who
were interested turned up, those who weren't
didn't: It was as simple as that, but at the same
time it wasn't. The foundation stones of art
edueation at Marlborough reeled as we discovered that (Shock Horror!) there is very little
future in Fine Art! At this point in the proceedings those members of the audience clad in
Robot shoes. Flip jackets and pencils tucked
creatively behind their left ears were wrenched
from their cosily contented world of Cezanne
and dabblings with Degas. and put their bejewelled orifices to work. No future in Fine Art'!
What else can we do? Male modelling" ..... .
No. 'boys. there's plenty here to choose from.
Fine Art is only a tiny cog in the machine. Try
Fashion. three-dimensional design, and the vast
field of Graphic Design (or Visual Communication. as those in the know prefer to call it) for
starters. The latter of these is the perfect option
36
for the arty-crafty with business sense. and also
one of the most lucrative. Fashion and fabric
design sounds like it was started to keep the
Marlburian poseur busy. so many should also
be at home here.
'How do we start'?' came the cry from the
subconscious. Well that's easy too. Most people
begin on foundation courses of one year's duration. from which they choose which artistic
area they are cut out for, and then go on to
study this at an art college of their choice (or
rather at an art college they can get in to). So
there you are: a concise resume of the entire
(well. almost) world of further art education.
and what's more, I charge no fee for this broadening of your horizons. Nice. aren't I?
Doug Thorp
Confessions of a Lobby Correspondent:
Mr Michael Steele
An Australian. working as a lobby correspondent for Welsh and Northern Irish television. a Leicester newspaper, and talking on
British politics. was bound to be an interesting
morning's entertainment. This was advertised
as a talk by Mr Steele 011 the Falklands. as seen
from inside the House of Commons; and in
part it was. but what was also very interesting
was his own personal view of several venerable
members of the House.
Politically the Falklands crisis has had a
number of important effects. Perhaps the most
important of these is that John Nott's defence
white paper will almost certainly need rewriting
in the light of the recent action. Obviously there
will be great debate on the malter, but surely
the crisis emphasized the need for conventional
weapons rather than the more powerful Trident? So far the main result of the issue has
been to increase. perhaps temporarily. the Conservatives' popularity. and perhaps more significantly. to decrease the people's estimation of
the Labour party. To come third in three of the
last five by-elections is no joke for the opposition near the end of the government's term.
This can be partly put down to the fact that the
Labour party made a mistake in not moving
together as one united body. The Bennite split
was one certain recipe for disaster. so the party's
treatment of the militant group is of great importance if they wish to salvage anything from
the wreckage.
The crisis also partly stemmed the flow of the
SDP because all eyes were on the South Atlantic. but Mr Steele did think that it might have
some beneficial effect on 'Bossy Boots' Owen's
chances aga'ins't Roy Jenkins. the 'Drinking
Man's Friend'. in their struggle for the party
leadership. Owen was in the house throughout
the crisis and made weighty speeches in all six
debates. whereas Jenkins was not an M.P. for
much of the time.
Cyril Smith fell foul of the speaker's opinion
for suggesting that the thirty opposing the
government should be tried for treason. This is
the only offence for which the penalty is still
execution. so Smith was being a complete fool.
Still, an interesting thought: Tony Benn .....
execution ..... !
Another friend from the Commons was
Enoch Powell. a person Mr Steele clearly admired. He still found him "entertaining". even
though he is now 70. and his speeches always
fill the press galleries. Powell is a British
nationalist. opposed to any change that might
alter the traditional face of Britain; hence his
opposition to Jim Prior's Northern Ireland bill.
Perhaps the best thing about this talk was
that it made politicians sound like ordinary
human beings. They are rude to each other.
have nicknames and are often very stupid. Try
listening to a debate-it closely resembles a
football crowd. It is not surprising sometimes
the mess this country finds itself in!
John Snell
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37
s
p
o
R
T
Photo by Sop/lie Hillier
lstXI
'Marlborough College are quietly confident
with seven of last year's colours still remaining',
said one preview of the season. 11his seemed as
if it were going to be fU'lfilled after the club
warm-up games. But as the sehool games continued. the side didn't seem to click altogether.
A string of draws resulted. then two poor defeats after 'half-tenn. The O.M. game. however,
provided the necessary tonic and at least some
of the potential was fulfilled.
38
Charles Olver was chosen to lead the side
and try to blend the side together. Unfortunately, as often 'happens with captains. his batting seemed to suffer. although he clocked up
some fine scores. On the field. 'his tactics didn't
leave anything to ,be desired. whilst he himself
improved from a moderate w'icketkeeper to one
with class and polish by the end.
John Burrell. a very able secretary. was ~e
most successful batsman. He stuttered slightly
in mid-season, but. through much hard work.
regained his easy and elegant stroke-play. His
64 out of 86 against St. Edwards left everyone
breathJess-especiatly the 'batsman at the other
end! A. F. D. Copies tone again took most
wickets. At the beginning of the season. this
was due to his persistent accuracy. but by the
end he ,had taught himself much variation and
looked a very dangerous bowler indeed.
Alistair Makin. the other opcning bowler.
found rhythm and pace. He was often unlucky.
but he seemed to make his own luck. His magnificent fielding and hard-hitting batting (he hit
66 against the OM's) also provided valuable
contributions.
Bob Young. who produced the highest 'score
-95 aga:inst M.C.e.-was the most attacking
batsman. To his credit. he occasionally rcstrained his strokes whcn employed as a temporary opener. Next year. when he is completely
adapted to English wickets. he should be very
successful indeed.
Tom Thicknesse started very impressively
with the bat with a string of 40's. but he seemed
to 10se his touch slightly. He adapted his bowling to suit the team's needs and. if he applies
himself in rhe next 'two season's as 'he did this.
he will be an ,important ma:instay of tthe team.
'J1he cheerful Ja:mes Lewis added much to the
team both on and off the field. His bowling was
steady and he often provided match~saving runs.
With confidence in 'himself. his swing bowling
and 'his batting (hardly a No. 11 !). will stand
him in good stead in future years.
Matthew Hickman-'t11e responsible member
of the team'-«fter an initial 'lack of confidence.
provided much needed determination and gl'it
in the middle order. He often produced runs
when they were desperately needed.
'
Simon Bland and Guy Hake never really had
a chance to show us their true worth. but
Simon's aggressive fielding and Guy's 'partnership-breaker' leg-breaks were a vital part of
the team.
We were. again. to a certain extent plagued
by rain-the whole festival was abandoned. with
other games affected. We lost. also. Richard
Stafford with a back injury. whom we missed
greatly. We must thank Nioholas Bunoh for his
perseverance and attitude to cricket whioh inspired us all. We wish 'him well in France. It was
a pity his last matches with us-the festiva'lwere washed out. but we had a most enjoyable
season with 'him.
Philip Lough we thank for his coaching and
dedication to the team. He was a'lways rhere to
help and advise. We arc lucky to have him for
the seasons to come.
Anthony Woodhouse
2nd XI
Not a vintage season! The year got off to a
good start with an epic against Sherborne. After
brilliant batting by Guy Hake from the 1st XI
and Grev Ward. who scored 83 and 82 respectively. together with Jerry Holden's useful contribution (0 not out). we managed to lose ofT
the last ball of the match.
From this point on it was a Bunch-affected
season. with no less than 7 ex-first XI members
playing against Wellington; a game which. needless to say. we lost. after amassing the grand
total of 63. For the record. we did have two
close draws. which of course with a little more
time we could have won. This included the
matches against Winchester and Clifton.
Mark Golding shone particularly. adding a
little Jamaican sun to the side. while Matthew
Hickman was a rather more sobering influence.
Richard Stafford. with severe back trouble. was
not pleased when opening the batting during
one match to be run out without facing a ball.
The bowling highlights were definitely Lewis
and Busk. terrorising the opening batsmen in
more ways than one! The main strike bowler
was the 'sugar plum fairy' (skip himseIO.
The fielding was not our strong point. Too
much setting gel in the slips might perhaps
account for numerous dropped catches on the
part of Chris Hill and Chas Gibb. Tom Tanner
and Mark Golding proved the speed of the side!
There were only two faithful players who
turned out at every match. hang-overs and all.
Reg Perrins (Trubshaw for short) and Daniel
Williams (our star wicket-keeper) held the side
together. even though Reg did have a strange
fetish for the netting.
Thanks very much to Mr Harrison-coach
and physio--and to Mr Pick-manager and
mentor-for encouraging and sticking with a
somewhat weak-to-medium team.
3rdXI
A: And what maketh this side so different from
others. think you?
B: My Lord. an thou wilt have patience in this
.
matter. I will tell thee.
39
two hours traffic of an innings. my Lord.
A: I am ruled. and I await thy answer. but
It is as well that they smite solidly. think
would fain thou lyest not.
deeply and in cunning out-paragon the
B: Sir. I am a simple man as ever wielded
Turk. or at least Millfield.
willow and my speech is but rude. yet there
is i'faith a secret clasped even in the deepest A: But do they win. man. teU me that?
chamber of my bosom (a phrase. now I B: Zounds. Sir. they win and they lose. This
bethink me. I have stumbled upon before
witte of which I talk needs practise to enthis summer).
hance it. It can be a veritable chimera. Sir.
A: Say on. old batsman. and be not tardy in
It gets in and it gets out. It stimulates hope
the telling.
and it stimulates rashness. A fair team. Sir.
B: Good Sir. it is a side of extreme subtletie
and a foul. And yet they win more than
and called the third eleven to boot. and to
they lose. for all that.
boot and boot. Hast thou never heard of the A: A winning team?
Wedgewood Boke of Wysdome?
B: Yea in good sooth. Sir. Though the ball
A: By one Madde lakke. is it not?
loses its redness and a slip catch is no likeliB: Yea verily. a goodly work it is and merrie.
hood. yet a nicer team there is not in the
with wise mottoes for every condition of
land for all the A levels that can threaten.
cricket. As for example: 'A cracked bail
John Byrom and 01 Stratton
makes the sweetest music.' The side has
many excellent bowlers. Some of their deliveries are so inspired they touch not the 1st COLTS
ground. They crack the bails.
The season's resu'lts do not reflect the ability
of
the team. Batsmen and bowlers came on
A: Who be these wonderworkers?
during
the season. but it was annoying that we
B: Simon Cryer. if it please your worship.
still
had
so many draws due to negative play.
Simon Treadgold. Tony Heddon. Nick
even
if
this
was mostly the fault of the opposiCrowther and Adam Bland. Adam bowleth
slower than the others (a fact by'r Lady tion. Unluckily the captain. Johnny Morris.
that makes the fieldsmen's fingers to tingle made many decisions that seemed correct. but
which turned against us"as play progressed.
somewhat). but they all bowl straight.
At the ooginning of the season the batsmen
A: God den. but do they run well?
started
well with scores of 202 for 5 against
B: Excellent well. my Lord. and they score
Clifton.
151 against Sherborne and 171 for 5
many (forgive my simple wit). James Sykes.
against
Winchester.
However for the rest of
who kept a neat wicket. starts the innings
term
our
scores
languished
around the 110
and can wield a fair slipshod.
mark.
•
A: A slipshod? Unknown term's. methinks. and
The bowlers plugged away courageously. but
something unfamiliar.
at the end of the day the opposition had always
B: Good Sir. it is a stroke that causeth the ball
clung on to a couple of wickets which we were
to go over the head of slip for four runs. It
unable to capture. Looking at the averages
is a shot inspired with the spirit of advenChris Ward and Mark Bailey bowled steadily
ture. Rupert Mapplebeck. John Snell. Adam
and each of them took a handful of wickets in
Bland. Greville Ward. Rob Cormie. captain
a number of matches. Pete Skinner also helped
01. Stratton and all are much infected
out when he was in the team. Phil Whyte and
with it.
Roland Mallinson provided some accurate
A: This wittie imagination and adventure- medium pace and good old Ed Bayntun·
what are its effects?
Coward bowled some useful spin. as did Jock
B: Marry Sir. to entertain. God bless the no Maxwell-Macdonald.
ball-it would tickle my heart's root to tell
Praise must be given to Johnny Morris. Raj
you of the sixes smote this year.
Nath. Chris Carpmael. Jock Maxwell-MacA: A goodly crop. withal?
donald. Steve Marcon and Mike Freyer for proB: Yea. verily. And yet the varletts are at the viding notable batting performances during the
stumps for but a short space of time. a mere season. A special mention for Carpmael and
40
Freyer who made an opening partnership of
199 versus Dauntscys. Carpmael scored 113
and Freyer an unbeaten 78.
There was a lot of impressive fielding
throughout the season. which helped keep the
games tight. On the whole it was an enjoyable
season and there was never a dull moment.
Congratulations to Raj Nath for getting some
games on the XI and to Johnny Morris for
playing on an 'A' XI.
Our thanks to Mr Barefoot and Mr Osborne
for all the hard work they put into the team.
Chris Carpmael
JUNIOR COLTS
A month into the term the J .C. Xl's season
looked to be in tatters. They had lost to Clifton,
had been knocked out of the Taverners' Trophy
by Sherborne and now Winchester stood at 50
for O. chasing 110 to win. But. in the space of
half an hour. the whole course of the team's
fortune for the rest of the season changed. Winchester lost 5 wickets in quick succession and
the match was saved; we travelled to MiIIfield
two days later. bowled them out for 51. started
a series of four consecutive victories. and remained unbeaten for the rest of the term.
Bryant bewitched opposition batsmen. who.
spellbound by his teasingly flighted off-spin.
scooped the ball into the hands of waiting
fielders with remarkable regularity. He had
figures of 7 for 10 v. MiIIfield and 7 for 14 v.
Wellington. and was the team's top wickettaker. But it was 'a team of many bowlers. and
every dog had his day. On a day when the
"gentle giant' got angry. Fallowfield devastated
the Bradfield innings by taking 4 wickets in one
over. and the movement he was able to obtain
ofT the seam enabled him to beat too the best
batsmen; Skinner. known in the side as the
'lucky bowler'. belied his reputation by picking
up wickets with a regularity that proved it was
more than luck. Davies hurled out five Sherbornians when he was called into the side. and
Hicks•. Reid and Graham made useful contributions with the ball.
The side was never bowled out for less than
100. which was a tribute to the consistency and
depth of the batsmen. Hicks. his bat resoundingly straight in attack and defence. played
some long innings-the footwork he used in
demolishing mid-Glamorgan's left-arm spinner
would have delighted any cricketing purist.
Tress. often the anchor man, sold his wicket
dearly and showed himself capable of playing
elegant drives and cuts. Nonchalant and arrogant are adjectives that might be used to describe the style of the side's most talented batsman; Sykes played some wonderful knocks.
However. the most improved player was Shone,
who played invaluable innings in attack and
defence. Makin and Skinner also struck the ball
cleanly on occasions; the latter's straight drives
caused more than one umpire to dive for cover.
The team played some excellent cricket. and
were unfortunate that this was not better reflected in their results.
Results. P.IO; W.4; L.l; 0.5.
Ld's Taverners: P.2; W.1; L.t.
Richard Savage
TENNIS-1st VI
The results for the Ist VI do not really reflect
the hard work and improvement that has taken
place this season. Many of the heavy defeats
produced some of the best tennis from the
Marlborough pairs. The team involved ten
players who were asked to play numerous
different combinations. This did show the
strength in depth of the open ,squad. In the' first
four games we lacked confidence and this
caused the team more problems than the opposition. However. after some close matches with
Radley. Wellington and M.G.C.S., we had our
best run shortly before Exeat. with wins over
Clifton. Winchester and Bristol Grammar
School. During these matches we showed more
determination and belief in ourselves. with good
positive tennis resulting. After half-term our
worst patch occurred. with heavy defeats by
Eton and Sherborne.
Our most consistent players were Case and
Pinnington. Jonny Scott was a fine captain.and credit must be given to Fiona Harper for
the exceptional tennis which she produced at
times. The latter two were awarded colours.
The highlight of the season was most definitely the short tour to Sevenoaks. The team
played their best tennis, losing 6-3 to an excellent side. The week-end was also very successful
as a social trip.
Team: J. Scott, C. Pinnington, A. Case. J.
Viney. N. Mansergh, R. Harries. F. Harper. J.
41
Cripps. A. Scorer. G. Williams.
Results: P.14; W.3; 0.1; L.lO.
Clark Cup (British Schools) and Youll
Cup (Public Schools) Report
Both tournaments produced some excellent
tennis and encouraging results. Sandy Case and
Clive Pinnington represented us iin rhc Clark
Cup (two singles followed by a deoiding
doubles). They won against Chatham G.S. 'in
the first round and then had the satisfaction of
defeating Reigate G.S .• last year's Thomas Bowl
finalists. in the second. This match was 'level
after the singles games and went to three sets
in the doubles. The third round against Desborough started immediately afterwards and
despite some determined base line rallying by
Clive Pinnington we were eliminated after the
singles.
In the Y mill Cup (two doubles followed by
a deciding singles) Guy Williams and Andy
Scorer made up the second pair. Never having
played toget!her 'they took some time to settle
down. dropping their matoh against Cranleigh
in the first round. Th'is ,left Sandy Case to reestablish his reputation as a singles player with
a commanding win against the Cran'leigh no. I.
Both pairs won against Mill Hil'l in round two.
but lost to Oundle in round three. The overall
standard of play. even in the self-critical second
pair. was high, and always exciting to watch.
Our success with a young team should make us
look forward to next year.
Mark Herbert-Smith
COLTS
Played 10; Won 5; Lost 4; Drawn 1.
This year, looking at the results achieved. it
could be assumed the team enjoyed a fairly
average season. It was average. but could have
been very much better. Unfortunately two members of the team made it very plain that they
were not really interested in gaining success ...
so they were dropped for the second half of the
term. There could. and should. have been seven
wins. but we were lucky to win five in the end!
Neil Whiteley, this year's captain, played with
great determination throughout the season and
his efforts were not only of great benefit to the
team but a clear indication of his always improving standard of play.
Randolph Carter and Jonathan Heald played
well throughout the term and really held the
side together, winning crucial matches. They
have become a very positive and powerful partnership and should try and stick together in
later seasons.
Cornock and Sidwell battled hard in their
role as a rearguard action and managed to
achieve a couple of important wins which made
all the difference.
Probably the most encouraging aspect of the
term was the appearance of some impressive
yearlings in the team for a couple of matches:
Vacher. Jones, Dodd and Kirkwood. They had
a devastating influence over the team's results
and should certainly be 'good news' for future
years.
Robert Wakely
JUNIOR COLTS
2nd VI
We had a slightly belter season this year than
last, winning three out of the seven matches we
played.
Most of them were fairly evenly matched and
could have gone either way. Our match against
Bristol Grammar was the easiest. We lost only
4 sets out of a possible 18; but we managed to
win only one set against Eton. who were a
clearly superior team.
Many thanks to Mr Goldsmith and Dr Clark
for the time given to the team, and good luck
for next year.
Nigel Mansergh
42
Won 5; Lost 2.
This has been a successful season. with an
enthusiastic team. Ian Anderson. Charles
Glennie and captain Peter Case play skilful
tennis and are developing into fine players.
Physical strength will complement their skill in
due course. Tony Smart has a natural talent for
the game and plays effective match tennis.
James Arbuthnott returned from Toulouse,
determined to show how strength and technique
(not to mention an ingenious match analysis
chart) can combine to wear down the opposition. And last. but not least. James McNabb
and Graham Whitaker have shown coolness
and tenacity as third pair; they have the well-
earned distinction of finishing the season without losing a match.
Andrew Brown
YEARLINGS
pair); Gina Lusty (captain) and Tatjana May
(2nd pair); and Nicola Carpmael and Alex
Howells (3rd pair). The 1st pair of the 2nd VI.
namely Joanna Thompson and Diana Fox. has
also shown its worth by stepping in whenever
A level commitments have prevented play.
The girls' 2nd VI. although not showing quite
the same consistency of style and approach.
have had an enjoyable season. at the same time
as winning about half their matches.
Thanks must go to Jonathan Copp and
Sandra Clark for all their coaching and help
throughout the season.
Heather Stewart
Success in Yearlings tennis greatly depends
on good fortune. One needs players with previous competitive experience and enough fine
weather for them to cohere as a team. This
year has been unusually lucky on both counts.
The finest May for six years gave uninterrupted
practice. and the top two pairs had more talent
than any group for a long while. Not only the
skills but the mental altitude and willingness to
learn were excellent. They have been the foundation of an extremely successful season in GOLF
which some victories have been embarrassingly
The team had a full fixture list of cleven
large. and close contests won against strong matches. Of these we won two, lost eight and
sides from Cliftoll and Edgarley Hall. Alex halved one. This result is not as disastrous as it
Dodd and Guy Jones looked the best in style appears since we were never able to field the
and variety of tactics. But even their 83"/0 suc- same team on successive occasions. Other
cess record was exceeded by Julian Vacher and school games, house games and examination
Tom Kirkwood whose fighting spirit contributed pressures aU take their toll. We have to regard
immensely valuable points in difficult situations. the summer term as a time for building a new
These pairs played some of the best tennis as foundation for future success by giving new
recruits a chance to sample the joy and pain of
yearlings that I can recall.
Beyond this quartet is plenty of talent. But matchplay golf. We were successful in that no
it lacks the experience and stroke play needed fewer than fifteen boys played at various times
for competitive success. Henry Yates and And- for our school golf team of six players.
rew Newington worked hard for rather meagre
Therefore we record our grateful thanks to
returns in matches. with Sandip Desai's skill the old hands who, despite other commitments,
edging Andrew out in the end. Several more did turn out occasionally. They included
could count themselves unfortunate. I hope Richard Harries. Jeff Jamieson and Nigel Manthese runners-up will persevere for Mark sergh. The backbone of the side was formed by
Wrong. James Cox-Nicol. Timothy Loveridge. Nick Johnson. BiU Manson and Andrew Hudand Jolyon Barker would usually have secured son. The newcomers who showed promise were
a niche for at least some matches in the teams Matthew Sharman, David Yarrow and Michael
of past seasons.
Griffiths.
Christopher Joseph
Special mention must be made of Guy Newman's fine achievement in winning nine out of
ten matches. Guy, off a handicap of four. has
GIRLS'
This year has seen a new departure for girls' a fair claim to the title of number one schoolboy
tennis with its entry into the Aberdare Cup. golfer on our circuit. We hope he will become
where the 1st VI performed more than credit- a category one handicap player before he leaves.
A new fixture was against the River School
ably. winning the 1st round and being runnersup in the 2nd to Talbot Heath School. Bourn,'!- from Boston. Massachusetts. We combined with
mouth. The 1st VI has also had a highly suc- Bradfield to produce a team which convincessful season elsewhere-its only defeat coming cingly beat the American side.
from Sherborne (whom it had beaten earlier in
Our thanks go to Mr Hardstaff for organising
the Aberdare Cup).
everything. and to all the other beaks who
The 1st team has been made up of the follow- helped with transport.
Rick Harries
ing: Maxine Hardinge and Cressida Barry (lst
43
SWIMMING
This term has been the most successful season
for many years. We actually came second out
of three teams in one match! This very uncharacteristic result can be attributed to the
superhuman efforts of our coach. Mr Church.
who was himself assisted by his wife. The Rev.
Marsh has provided a great deal of spiritual
help but even that is not powerful enough to
prevent Alex Wood thorpe from disgracing himself.
There have been some proficient performances this term. Notable amongst them was
Angus Bailey who unfortunately had an accident with a staircase. Chris Lee was good when
he turned up. while Jules Benson. even though
he did sometimes train. never realised his full
potential. Hairy Hawkes was a surprise choice
who not surprisingly beat Alex. Phil Spruce.
whose connections with Krona margarine ensured his place in the team. proved once again
that tiny swimming trunks show more than they
are supposed to.
The colts are a strong side and if they carry
on swimming the open side will be strong next
year. Mark Turnbull has recorded better times
than his open counterpart. but has yet to face
him in unarmed combat. Alan Leong has perhaps the best style of all and he can expect a
great deal of success next year. Mike Payne and
Tom Hopkinson have proved that the side has
a great deal of depth (which is not meant to
be a pun).
There is another light in the darkness for all
swimmers. It is the prospect of a new swimming
pool. When it is completed perhaps my successor will have better news.
Justin Smith
Plio to by Nemesis
44
SAILING
Wrestling and Cod a L'Orly Combat Festival.
in which we proved that Marlburians arc no
mean Alligator fighters by escaping with only
two severed heads. eight withered arms. and
twelve 'itchings in the nether regions.' The
Master himself has shown a strong interest in
the sport. and rumour has it that he has been
practising for the 2nds outside the Lodge with
a vast rubber slug purchased from Duck's.
Alisdair Twimbleby-Ponse Arthritis-Jones.
our captain. is dead. but the eldest member of
the squad. a Mr Michael R. Jagger. has led the
team to a series of resounding successes. The
last. and by far the most exciting. of these was
here at our own Alligator combat rink. in which
we took on the Collected Milton Keynes Philatelist and Ferret Swallowing Confederation.
Much to the delight of the tumultuous crowd.
the alligator (this time an Argentinian Yellow.
chosen for its complete lack of ability). squealed
snippets of the Hungarian national anthem
while being poked in the solar plexus by razorsharp sausages kindly provided by the Norwood
Hall. The staggering success against the Brighton Amnesia Group is a contest I shall never
forget. and nor will they.
All in all a fine season. and in conclusion I
would like to thank the Spanish World Cup
Football Squad for inspiration and deodorant.
and Geoff Belben's record collection for age.
Next term, it's Armadillo sniffing and 'Running
About In Underwear And Looking At People
In Funny Ways' for me. Stay tuned!
Doug 'Scourge of the Greenbacks' Thorp
With only two survIving members of last
year's six. we realised that it was going to be
d~mcuJt to live up to the successes of the preVIOUS season. Even so we began with high hopes;
Trent was captain; Tim Robinson and John
Hardman had been selected for the under-21
England squad and we had 6 new 420's (boats,
I think).
Despite early season setbacks with gear failure
concerning the new boats and a certain member
of the team, we successfully completed our
season's preparations. Unfortunately any optimism was short-lived because the team showed
inconsistency and a lack of co-ordination. As
a result the first four matches were alternately
lost and won against teams of very similar
standards.
The latter half of the term was upset by
exams and as a result no permanent team could
be maintained. However. it did give the selectors
something to think about for next term. The
new boats added a whole new dimension to our
sailing. and we are particularly grateful to Mr
Rogers for obtaining them.
Thanks as ever to Mr Rogers for his support.
and to Mr Birley for our 'rocket rides'. Special
thanks to Mr Lowe who unfortunately will be
leaving us for Millfield this term. He has given
the ~eam his whole-hearted support. and has
prOVided the whole sailing clan with a great
many opportunities.
Last. but not least. a cuddle for our mascot
Lucy. without whom the minibus journey~
would not be the same.
BEAGLES
Sailed: 7; Won: 4; Lost: 3.
Team: Trent Ward. Tim Robinson. John
Our main event of last term was the Puppy
Hardman. Robert Noel. Bill Acworth. Damian Show on Prize Day. For this. we managed to
Bown.
repaint just about all the Kennels. We are very
Also: Lucy Marriott. Bill Barlow and Jim grateful to the large numbers of people who
Graham who would have made the tea. had it came to see and support us.
not been for Katherine.
We also went to two Hound Shows during
Tim Robinson
the term. one at Ardingly and the other at
Builth Wells. At both shows the hounds shOWed
very
well and we were pretty successful. bringALLIGATOR-WRESTLING
ing home two rosettes from each.
4tbXXIV
The Summer Term is also the term of one of
This term was fabulous. Despite the tragic our highlights of the year: the Annual General
loss of i of the squad to the vicious clutches of Meeting. This year was a momentous one. for
a particularly irate Norwegian Green. the lads we elected a new President. Mr Kwiatkowski.
a?d lasses struggled on to the heady heights of We thank him for all his support. which now
Victory, demonstrated most commandingly at makes our job a lot easier.
the annual Neasden International AlligatorTim Main
4S
CANOE CLUB
SHOOTING
The superb weather throughout most of the
term meant that a great deal of time was spent
in or under the water.
Although the sluices at Hambledon were
closed for most of the term we were able to use
the school pool frequently and the game of 'Bat
Polo' improved everyone's paddling strokes.
Away from school we had a successful term
with John Hardman being promoted to division
three at Hambledon Slalom and Bill Acworth
to Division Four at Newbury. At Croyde Bay
we experienced ten.foot surfing waves.
At the end of term we have our summer trip
to the French Alps.
After last year's superb performance in the
Ashburton. hopes were high for a successful
season this year. Five of last year's eight were
left. who between them managed to get the five
highest scores. However. the beginning of term
produced a series of appalling scorcs.
At the Middlesex meeting the school put up
only 465 out of 560. despite a 66 from the captain. Two weeks later the team shot equally
badly at Otmoor. However. other schools
seemed to have similar problems. and we came
third and second in these two matches. After
this things began to pick uP. atlhough progress
was slow. partly due to the long absence of the
captain who was lying on his back in the San.
By the middle of June we were really back on
form. and the school set up a new record at
Andrew Blyth
PIIOW by Joh" Hardma"
46
Pilning with a superb 505. Thus we look forward to Bisley and the Ashburton. My special
thanks as captain go to Bob Hodgson and Joe
Naunton-Morgan. whose generosity allows me
to have them in my team for the Ashburton
after the end of term. Thanks. as usual. go to
Colonel Johnson and Captain Heaton for their
unfailing dedication. Here's to a win in ~he Ashburton; the first since 1935!
Rupert Seal
CROSBY &
LAWRENCE
67 HIGH STREET,
MARLBOROUGH
Tel: 52086
FULL RANGE OF
TOP QUALITY
SPORTS EQUIPMENT
SQUASH RACKETS
THE LOAVES & FISHES
RESTAURANT
Angela Rawson and Nikki Kedge
Our aim is to bring back the enjoyment
and high standard of eating in a relaxed
and intimate atmosphere. This small.
peaceful restaurant nestling in a fold of
the Marlborough Downs, is unlicensed,
enabling our guests to bring the wine
of their choice to suit their pocket and
not our wine cellar.
Closed Sunday Evening and All Day Monday.
Bookings Only please.
ROCKLEY CHAPEL.
ROCKLEY.
MARL.:BOROUGH,
WILTS.
TENNIS RACKETS
FOOTBALLS. Etc.
* *
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*
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CRICKET CLOTHES
RUGBY KIT
AND ALL GAMES CLOTHES
ALSO SKILLED REPAIRS
FOR ALL DAMAGED
SPORTS EQUIPMENT
Tel. Marlborough 53737
47
M
u
s
I
c
Photo by Soplrie Butler
FOU TS'ONG: PIANO RECITAL
16th May
The first item on the evening's programme
was Mozart's Sonata in F. This is a very expressive piece with many very quiet but precise
sections. Fou Ts'ong played these with exceptional skill, not sacrificing any evenness or
balance in the softness of the notes. However, I
felt that the louder notes were a little harsh.
although they lacked none of the precision
which gave this piece its particular character.
The second item was the Sonata in E by
Beethoven. This is a flowing piece consisting of
three expressive movements. The first one is
marked 'Adagio espressivo'; the second move
ment. 'Prestissimo', has a more light-hearted
character than the first, more thoughtful. move-
ment. The sonata ends with a theme and six
variations.
After the interval Fou Ts'ong played seven
pieces by Chopin. the first of which was the
Ballade in A flat. This is a very rich piece which
was done full justice by Fou Ts'ong's performance. The next four pieces were mazurkas.
based on the rhythm of a Polish dance. Each
was a short but powerful and often sad piece.
but they all joined together to form a moving
unity. full of variety. The penultimate work.
the Berceuse in D flat. was a charming. soft
lullaby. which genuinely did invoke a gradual
drowsiness! The final work was the dramatic
and well-known Fantasy in F minor which. for
me, probably was the best piece. Fou Ts'ong
played it with great command and power and
this gave it a pleasing impetus and force. This
was particularly the case in the low chords
which gave way to quieter. quicker passages
higher up the keyboard.
The audience was very large and very appreciative of the concert. as the two encores (a
Chopin nocturne and a Debussy etude) testified.
and we are all very grateful to Mr M. S. Law.
who paid entirely for the concert. without whose
generosity we would not have heard such a great
and invigorating pianist.
Charles Garland
FIRST ORCHESTRA AND
CHAMBER ORCHESTRA
CONCERT Sunday 23rd May
Tire Dream 0/ a COllcerl-goer:
'I was sitting on a wooden bench. one fine
summer's evening. when far off I did chance
upon a muffled Magic Flute. sweet upon the
ear; yet awakened from my slumbers. t'was
but an orchestra. devoid of depth and joviality.
When 1 once more returned to sleep. it was with
the assistance of a soothing. thoughtful tuba.
mastered by J. Johansen; it was. sir. without
question quite admirable. J. Bach's Fantasia
and Fugue in C Minor. although transcribed by
Elgar. had lost none of its tonal beauty and
fluidity; musing thoughtfully over Chamber
Orchestra. I consider their only performance.
which followed. although faultless. lacking
spirit. Fortunately. Shostakovich's Symphony
No. 5 was like a spring to a wearied man. a
veritable fount of freshness and musical vitality.
Full now of the spirit of life. I ventured up
t'ward the gate with Mr Rathbone's Old Bath
Road. a bold. talented piece. showing mature
restraint and few discords. On leaving the leafy
glade. under whose protection I had taken considerable refreshment. I reflected how ambrosian the music-making had been. though inlerpretation was often lacking:
Jason St. John Nicolle
an appalling performance and I hope never to
sulfer their inane rantings ever again.
HEAVENLY BLUE: I like the name best.
but that's not to say that they were bad. Far
from it-I enjoyed them although I reckon
they could be much better. There's no need to
state the obvious here. since time and practice
would improve any band. SO I look forward to
seeing the band again.
THE LAST WAVE: We've seen Doug in
several different guises as rock-star now. and I
suppose he's closer now to the real thing than
before. Though I hate to say it. there's still a
long way to go. But if he sets his sights a little
lower. he'd be well pleased with this lot; they
seem to have put a lot of elfort into their performances. even if they did neglect their visual
impact this time. At least they are adventurous.
which. after all. is surely the name of the game.
Martin Fry
A NIGHT OUT ON THE TOWN:
VERBAL EXECUTION /R.A.R.E.
at The Town Hall, Marlborough
A bill that boded well; some dreadful Marc
Almond/ Adam Ant rhythmless prancing that
gave me doubts when I had hardly walked
through the door; a venue not even fit for
Anti-Pasti to play in; barely a dark corner I
could retreat into. But Jah Rastafari be my
saviour. the dread at the controls showed real
class by slipping on Don't Stop the Music. and
revived flagging hopes. In a flash Verbal Execu~ionhad wandered on to stage amidst polite
applause and abuse. plugged in. and stumbled
into their first salvo of aural attack. They tried
hard .... but a few poses and studied grimaces
doesn't make one Kirk Brandon. let alone Jan
MacCullough. I had a funny feeling watching
this band that they'd spent too much time listening to U2 and Cure records. and not enough
time practising and studying The Lexicon of
REALITY /HEA VENLY BLUE/
Love. I also had another funny feeling that this
lot would be rather pleased to wake up one
THE LAST WAVE
REALITY: The thing I've never understood morning and discover that they were the Psyabout this bunch of poseurs is why a band that chedelic Furs. when they should be dreaming
would be more at home in the distant past of of the Associates.
'76. who affect attitudes that are more than a
Entertainment value: ***
Star qualities: *
little incongruous in a Public School. should
call themselves 'Reality', Anyway. that's no
Presentation: **
business of mine; all I know is that they gave
Effort: **49
But it still should have been even better;
Without much ado. RARE took the stage;
the atmosphere was electric-you could cut it Mark seemed rather distracted. and sweat is not
with a Samurai sword-and the heat was on. enough to make it convincing; there should
Welcome to the House of Fun .... it was like have been more exuberance. but more punch
a sauna. They played with style, a little finesse, too (and a hell of a lot more beer). RARE had
a lot of energy and plenty of cool. I could write to put up with a small. subdued crowd and the
20.000 words on the lift their music can give, phenomenal heat, working up what is called
these days a thermo-nuclear sweat. I hope they
but I'll restrain myself to a few things:
I. Remi's sheer charisma, which he achieves by manage to get it all a bit tighter on the night of
doing virtually nothing more than standing on their gig at the Embassy Club. since I've heard
stage; he should be playing with Defunkt or it rumoured that the PR men will be out in
Chic (yes!). And I thought his bare feet looked strength. Whatever happens. I know there
should be a place for RARE in our hearts if
delicious.
not in our charts.
2. As was once said. 'let the bassman do the
Entertainment: ****
talking', which Frank certainly did. Amazingly,
Star qualities: ***
it was truly audible, as well as pulsing through
Presentation: **
the floor straight to our feet . . . it was great
Effort: ****
stuff.
Paul Morley
3. Guy's faces as he pounded those skins: breaking the back of ....
RARE'S FAREWELL CONCERT
4. Jules' mock guitar-hero lick.
Lovely! I think Paul says it all.
1ICht Rogal <9ak ' Wootton RiDtfS
l6th Citntury 1:hatchtd jfrtt ~oust
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Excellent Selection of Snacks
Traditional Beers from the Wood
Evening Meals
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51
s
o
C
I
E
T
I
Pilato by Sopllie Butler
S2
E
S
CIRCE SOCIETY
Katherine Ellis and I ha ve been elected as
secretary and chairman in place of Lou and
Chloe who have resigned.
At the end of this term we compiled a survey
based on a 1978 one to see how the answers
compared-how attitudes have changed during
four years at Marlborough. That particular
article started with; 'There have now been girls
at Marlborough for about ten years. and. like
parasites. they have become well adapted to
their situation.'
The article seemed. however. to be dominated
by slightly sexist overtones. graduating from the
ambiguous to the inane:'Does a white tie give an added attraction?'
-85% no! (one wonders what the misguided
15% were doing with themselves meanwhile!)
'Has Marlborough made you more feminine'?'
-52% YES.
'Were you shocked at first by the boys' crude
jokes?'-73% YES.
'If so. do you think you are still'r-I00'1o
NO.
These questions. plus many others like it.
including.
'Do you prefer the rugged type to the intellectualT (92% NO!) we left out. ending up
with the results below. Perhaps the most significant answer was to question I I-where 88%
of the lower sixth girls felt pressure on them,
or had at one stage anyway, to have a boy
friend. In spite of this, some felt so unsure
about their position that, for 13. the answer
was-???? The big controversy that arose from
the survey was-What is wrong with B House?
(since all the girls there hated girls' break and
half of them would rather be somewhere else.)
In general. though, the survey proved conclusively two main things: firstly that, after a
year at Marlborough. most girls feel that they
have changed, whether through the external
pressures and influences encountered here. or at
home. Secondly. as only two people felt insecure
here. in general with our 'parasitical' qualities
we have adapted and gained confidence from
being in a minority at such a large place.
Anna Horsbrugh-Porter
L6 GIRLS t SURVEY
YES
NO
Don't
know
I. Did you realise how important your first few weeks at
M.e. would be for your future
41 % 59%
here?
2. Do you think you made the
47 % 53 % 1 person
most of them'?
3. Do your friends at home remark that you have changed
74 % 26 %
since you have been here?
4. Did your new situation here
restrict your work and class
participation during your first
68 % 32%
term?
5. Docs it still?
9% 91 %
6. Do you resent any special
treatment you receive, or do
you find that beaks have a
different attitude to you than
to the boys?
47 % S3 %
7. How many friends from
your old school have you
really kept up with?
Average: 6t 4 people
8. Do you see more Marlburians than other friends in
18 % 82 %
the holidays?
9. Do you find it easier to
have a good relationship with
a boy friend at home or at
sehool'!
Home: 64% School: 36% 6 people
10. Do you think that having
a boy friend here is unnatural? 29% 71 %
II. Have you ever felt pressure on you here to have a
boy friend?
88 % 12 %
12. Had you ever had a boy
friend before you came here? 71 /~ 29%
13. Have you got one at the
moment?
70% 30%
14. Do you look forward to
coming back to school at the
79% 21 %
end of the holidays?
15. Do you look forward to
82% 18%
the end of term?
16. Do you think that exams
are taken less seriously here
79% 21 %
than at your old school"
17. In general. do you think
that the teaching here is better
79% 21 %
than at your old school?
18. Should girls have bedsits? 29% 71 %
19. Do you enjoy girls'
88% 12%
break?
20. Do you think that the
treatment of girls varies unfairly from house to house, in
such things as clothes and bed6S % 3S % 3 people
times?
21. Did you expect such a
great cross-section of girls
38 % 62 %
when you came here?
22. Do you feel adequately
secure in your position here? 94 % 6 %
23. Do you think you will resent competition from next
year's L6?
48% 52% 3 people
24. Provided that you had to
go to school, would you rather
9% 91 %
be anywhere else?
(all B/house)
Anna Horsbrugh-Porter and Diana Fox
S3
ROCK SOCIETY
The group RAR.E. will be sadly missed but
well remembered by all present Marlburians,
not to mention the girls' schools they visited.
Thanks to their very professional attitude towards music and performance, rock music at
Marlborough is seen in a better light. They
have been a fine example to those who are
starting on this road. I wish them well at their
forthcoming public performance in the Embassy Club in London.
As I write, preparations are being made for
three concerts. The first, at the College, features
'The Last Wave', 'Heavenly Blue' and 'Reality'.
Then at the Town Hall RAR.E. are performing with a town group, and finally RAR.E.
are giving a farewell concert in the Memorial
Hall. I hope they all prove to be as successful
as the previous occasions.
My thanks to all those who have helped in
the forming and running of this society, and to
all of you who have supported the groups by
attending the concerts.
Next term the practice room floor should be
ready and with the new equipment the College
has bought, all looks very encouraging for the
future.
Martin Roberts
(Martin Roberts was founding President of
the Rock Society and has helped to run it for
the past year. The Rock Society wish to thank
him for all the hard work he has put in during
his time here in the field of rock.)
LITERARY SOCIETY
The society held two meetings this term, the
first of which was an open meeting held jointly
with the Poetry Society on Thursday. 20th May
to hear Mr John Fuller from Oxford reading
some of his own poetry. Mr Fuller's readings
ranged from recent and as yet unpublished
poetry to some of his earliest poetry. The tone
was, at our request, lighthearted; he read some
of his lyrical poetry written to be set to music
and some poetry written under commission,
notably one written for the opening of the Hexagon centre in the 'biscuit-city' of Reading. Mr
Fuller's reading was clearly of great interest to
the sizeable audience in Adderley. and many
went on to Mr Herbert-Smith's rooms afterwards.
54
The second meeting of the term was a Members' Symposium on Wednesday. 7th July. The
evening saw the emergence of several common
themes in the extracts chosen. An extract from
Forster's Passage to India transported us from
extremes of contrast in the black and white
hieroglyphics of the mosque, through a temporary bridging of the racial divisions of India
under the Raj, and back to a world of conflict
and division. The quest of man for unity in a
time of division. for a constant in a state of
flux, was a recurring theme. Forster as an
atheist seems to be advocating love and fellowship on the grounds of common humanity,
rather than religion in itself, as a means to
overcome conflict, a view clearly showed by
Camus as well in the second extract, a reading
from The Outsider. A reading from Nathaniel
Hawthorne about the intense rivalry between
groups of puritans further illustrated that religion does not always bind men together. indeed
often dividing them. In Mervyn Peake's poem
Out of the Cbaos of my doubts • • • love was
presented as the great stabilising force of
humanity. The debate that ensued led into the
following extract. a short story by Kafka about
A Brother's Murder, clearly a case where love
had failed. The next two extracts were taken
from Wordsworth and Thomas Mann, both of
which illustrated very well the style of artistic
detachment. The final contribution comprised
two contrasting readings, one from Anne
Frank's Diary and another from Rudolph Hesse.
This combination once again showed the collapse of human unity and the failure of love to
preserve it. a collapse reflected within Hesse's
own almost schizophrenic mind. The meeting
was both valuable and enjoyable. Next term the
Society will hold two Open Meetings as well as
hear the delayed paper on Don Quixote.
Matthew Hickman and
Favell Symes-Thompson
PHOTOGRAPHIC SOCIETY
In the last year the photographic society has
a veraged a turnover of £800 per term. This
term we have used:- 4200 sq. ft. of photopraphic paper, 1.2 miles of film and enough
chemicals to fin 26 baths.
An unpublished sum of money has been
earned by the less scrupulous members of the
soc.; the inland revenue have the exact figures
if you are interested.
The Summer School has recently provided
funds for the purchasing of colour equipment.
However. even the most extravagant members
of the society cannot afford to use it on any
regular basis as yet.
This term sees the departure of a former
secretary of the society. Richard Scott joined
the society only recently but soon showed talent
over a variety of subjects ranging from football
to hockey. He will be sorely missed by all.
Jonathan Stedman and
Nicholas Hodson
East in a talk by Mr Harris called 'AII stations
via the Catford Loop.' They also made a trip
to the Crofton Beam Engines. Another proposed trip sadly had to be cancelled.
Finally. a word of thanks to those members
of the society who set up an exhibition for Prize
Day in the Science Labs. We had not been
given any 'official' space. and the exhibition was
built as a private venture to represent the
society. Thanks also to Mr Avery and Mr
Selwyn.
Jonathan Calladine
THE RAILWAY SOCIETY
CYNICAL SOCIETY
Before exams and other summer term distractions halted the society's activities. quite a
lot of work had been done. Having at last assembled all the necessary equipment. the modcllers started track-laying and worked on with
great distinction until the job was finished. Next
term will see some scenic additions which
should make the club-room beneath the Mount
House something worth seeing.
Meanwhile. the open part of the society benefited by a run-down on railways in the South-
This term, as usual. has been an extremely
successful one in that hardly anything managed
to make us get up or disturb our permanently
apathetic state of mind-that is to say. while
the whole of Britain seemed to be following
exciting events such as British action in the
Falklands. British football in Spain. and Wimbledon. we had a great time predicting the
weather and assessing Marlborough College
girls as well as philosophising over the use of
geography. However. we have to admit that C3
Photo by Bill La"yo"
S5
with its undreamt-of house assembly. the Stones. them or by watching them; this term we read
and Professor Myddleton. succeeded in making the mammoth Antony and Cleopatra and went
us move; we would like to welcome (and un- to see Twelfth Night. The former is so long
fortunately bid farewell to) Professor Myddle- that we had a break for lunch in the middle; it
ton as honorary president of this remarkable is a hard play to follow. due to continually
society. He gave us a most enjoyable lecture on changing place settings. The Master always
the market value of human beings (and toma- reads his parts with unashamed gusto. and the
toes in comparison). which we could not have tone of the proceedings is never solemn. especially with Chloe supplying impromptu battle
agreed with more.
P.S.: A message to all those who think or hope sound effects! Twelfth Night was on at the
that this does not apply to them: Remain as Watermill Theatre outside Newbury. which is
particularly pleasant in summer since it is surboring and apathetic as ever!
MEMBERS: two. MEETINGS: permanent rounded by gardens and a river; Norwood Hall
attitude in our minds. TOPICS DISCUSSED: packed lunches on the lawn ..... delightful.
The production starred Frank Thornton of
anything will do.
Capt. Peacock fame (Are you being served?) as
Jan Borm
well as a relation of the Al housemaster's wife.
DEUTSCHER VEREIN
An in all an entertaining production. although
The pressure of exams somewhat moderated not up to the virtually matchless standard set
the enthusiasm of the Deutscher Verein this by the BBC. J onny and Angus provided interm. and its meetings took on a rather passive flight entertainment during the journey with one
role-that of listening to visiting speakers. of their notorious sketches (a new one at last!).
Nevertheless. these' lectures proved most en- which I suppose illustrates Feste's point that
lightening and highlighted various aspects of the 'foolery does walk about the orb like the sun;
A level course.
it shines everywhere' (I learnt that one for my
Miss Margaret Jacobs ventured down to A-level).
Marlborough from St. Hugh's College. Oxford.
Freddie Baveystock
and delivered a talk on Heinrich Boll's short
stories. Her talk gave an inslglit into the denazification of post-war Germany. both in its FILM SOCIETY
After Clint's cigar-chewing noose-defying
attitudes and language. She spoke of the evident
digression from literary modes during the war antics the Film Society yawned fittingly at the
to a rather cynical exposition of post-war most expensive film ever made (Heaven's Gate).
The Wanderers sounded nice but didn't look so
society-themes encapsu'lated in Boll's Stories.
Miss Jacobs was closely followed by Dr. good-except for the bit about the brick-Ow!
Boyle from Magdalene College. Cambridge. Anyway. the film's soundtrack is one of the
who delivered a lecture on Goethe. celebrating hottest you'll ever hear and is excellent for wild
the lS0th anniversary of the poet's death. Much parties. Blood Beach and Prom Night revived
of the talk was geared towards undergraduates the sleepy audiences; moved some into screamand therefore perplexed the audience with its ing at the awesome terror and some into snigsophistication. but Dr. Boyle must be credited gering-in fright of course. After Exeat the
society mixed social awareness. fantasy. a good
for continuing indefatigably.
Once again. thanks go to Mr Whiting for in- measure of cruelty and violence . . . but alas,
spiring the Deutscher Verein, and our best no sex. Whatever happened to CathoDc mgh
wishes to Miss Ball, who has been a constant School Girls in Trouble? The finger-licking
stable element in the continuation of the society. fried movie was followed by the painful RoUerbaH and a perfectly manicured Lone Ranger.
Helen Starks
Then we had Smokey and the Bandit riding
SHAKESPEARE SOCIETY
again (pending sequel: The Lone Ranger and
Perhaps _ people believe the Shakespeare Smokey and the Bandit-Any Which Way They
Society to be a bunch of literary bores all too Can). Towards the end of term Goldie Hawn.
eager to display their great knowledge of the whose various attributes endeared her to a sen'Old Bill's' works: Not at all. What we do is sitive Mem. Hall. joined the army in Private
quite simply to enjoy his plays either by reading Benjamin; and Supennan (11) conquered GodS6
sorry, Zoo-and saved the world (yet) again;
both much appreciated. The final mention goes
to Raging Bull and Midnight Express-two
excellent films combining powerful acting and
detailed, atmospheric photography to produce
good entertainment. The only problem was that
the Bronx drawl of Robert de Niro et al wasn't
entirely suited to the acoustics of the Mem.
Hall, and for a film with long spells of dialogue .....
A quick plug-Bob has ordered Chariots of
Fire and some innocent horror called Funhouse.
as well as many more of course. Thanks to Bob
for being such a wonderful. kind old man. and
to the technicians for their help.
Julian Benson
THE POOH SOCIETY
"Bump, bump. bump . . . down the stairsthere must be a better way of getting down the
stairs." But Pooh did not know of a better way
because he had never been down the stairs in
any other way. We had only one meeting this
term due to the pressure of A levels and end-ofyear fever. Mr Cannon gave an extremely distinguished (and high-powered) talk on Pooh
the Existentialist Hero. He extolled the philosophy of Heidegger with a suitable emphasis on
angst (something Pooh must have been experiencing as he bumped down the stairs). The talk
was illuminating to say the least, and certainly
compensated for the lack of a second meeting.
Thanks again to ~he Marshs-the first meeting
at the Old Rectory-and it is with regret that
we say good-bye to some of the members-but
by no means all.
Sally Selby-Lowndes
THE RADCLIFFE SOCIETY
Astronomically speaking. it couldn't be said
that the summer of '82 was an unprecedented
success. But the summer term rarely is, since
the evenings become lighter, and it was because
of the lack of dark skies (and good weather)
that very little observation took place. However, even though observation has been at a
premium this term, we have not neglected the
Observatory. We started redecorating the interior this term and we hope it will be seen
through to the bittcr end some time next year.
if not even sooner.
Regrettably, our president, friend and mentor
Doc Gibbons is leaving. I expect his numerous
talents will be missed elsewhere in the school.
but for us members of the society it will be a
very bitter pill to swallow, as he whipped up
great enthusiasm. notably amongst the lower
school. We thank him for all his hard work
within the society and wish him the best for the
future.
Martin Aldis
THE BAD DRAMA SOCIETY
This term we had only one outing, which
certainly merited the adjective 'memorable'; we
visited the hallowed portals of the French Institute in London to witness the opening night
of their much publicised production of Lc
Mariage de Figaro. We were not disappointed.
From the chaos of the opening scenes to the
mumbled shambles that constituted Act 3, it
was bad drama as its absolute best (or worst).
It excelled the high standards set by this year's
C3 house play. as well as the various escapades
our president has previously arranged. This
production boasted a frog-like Count whose
face apparently melted. a wrinkled and gaptoothed Countess (supposedly nineteen). a
wealth of fluffed and forgotten lines, and a
leading character who deserves a lengthy description in himself. Figaro was undoubtedly the
star of the evening; his crazed smile. which
must have spanned all of eight inches (revealing
impeccable toothpaste-white teeth). brought
gales of laughter from the stalls. Likewise his
efforts to impart meaning or feeling to his
words. The set was wisely kept to a minimum.
though the mirror on stage in Act 2 was an
intelligent addition; from where we were sitting.
it revealed the rest of the cast in the wings.
frantically mugging up their words. The prompter (who featured largely in this production).
perhaps not confident of his own vocal powers.
utilised the loudspeaker at either side of the
stage to 'whisper' prompts to the actors. The
play was certainly worth the two hour journey
each way. But I'm afraid we have to close on
a sad note since our president. Miss Ball. is
leaving. We thank her for running the society
so well, and wish her all the best for her recent
appointment.
57
S8
THE BACCHANALIAN SOCIETY
In founding the Society last term our aim was
to learn about and appreciate wine. I also added
a personal aim. which was to appreciate the
wine without being pompous about it. When
faced with writing fifteen sides of minutes on
twenty wines from three meetings. this becomes
fairly hard.
To quote Auberon Waugh. however: 'There
is no earthly reason in paying large sums of
money for the best wines unless one is prepared
to be prudish about it: There are two ways of
going about this. The wine trade has developed
a stock of cliches to sell its wines. some of which
have been quite arresting: 'fruity. enormously
full. fat. elegant or even. etc: The other method
which is more useful is that of the metaphor
(as it prevents repetition). The art of this is to
choose references which when thought of in
relation to wine seem quite preposterous. For
example. a Bourgogne Aligote was recently
compared to Sensodyne toothpaste. 1 think 1
can back this idea up by again quoting from
Mr Waugh: 'It will simply not do. when drinking wine which costs more than six or seven
pounds a bottle. to say that it is jolly good or
absolutely delicious. That is not playing the
game:
To say that we play the game is perhaps the
best way of putting it. We do not sit around
examining each bottle seriously. but on the contrary. we joke about them and come up with frequently bizarre metaphors. This term we have
managed to fit in two talks. one on six German
wines and the second on six French wines. We
also managed to fit in a president'S meeting in
which we looked at six bottles of Burgundy and
celebrated the end of exams a little.
Our president. Mr Bunch. leaves us this term
and on behalf of the society. I offer him all our
thanks. both for getting us off the ground and in
particular for his knowledge.
Alex Wood thorpe
CHALLENGE
This term the achievements of the school
team (Miles Fletcher. Charles Olver. Robert
Sykes and Jason St John Nicolle) reached a new
pinnacle as we beat Dean Close. Queen's Taunton and Dulwich College in a tense 'pose-in'
involving four schools. in the Adderley. This
made a total of eight games unbeaten. and
meant that we became Southern English Champions! However little did we know that we had
been cheating all the time by having one man
over the age limit for juniors: we were disqualified . . . . . and so was every other school in the
region, as they had all been doing the same
thing. As a result of this slightly farcical situation we were declared winners after all and
picked up a nice little shield which I sold down
town.
~hanks as ever to Ibn-Ben Fogg. our Kuwaiti
manager.
Miles Fletcher
THE BAR
This term has been dominated by a number
of new introductions to the bar. The stocks
department. consisting of Charlie (i/c.). Robbie
(2 i/c.) and Staffs (3 i/c.), has been responsible
for bringing in a large variety of bottled beers
which have been encouragingly popular with
the over 17's in the school. We also had a new
draught beer from Wadworths, Northgate bitter,
which brought our complement of beers on tap
up to three. This managed to keep our pipe
cleaner, 'King James', well occupied on a Wednesday afternoon.
The stocks department also went into the
food scene in a big way this term. believing that
there should be a wider selection of sweets and
crisps to go with the increased variety of beers.
Alongside these improvements have been two
items which have been big hits with members
of the bar-a juke box and a space-invaders
machine. Unfortunately the juke box suffered
both kicks and punches towards the latter part
of the term, and had to be temporarily retired.
However. the space-invaders machine carried
on bringing in a healthy profit and has been seen
as a very wise investment.
All our tbanks must go to our Welsh chauffeur. Dr Jones-Parry. Who ferried stocks men .to
and from Swindon to pick up atl sorts of goodies
from the cash-and-carry store. We really appreciated the time that he spent looking after the
bar and ensuring that people were doing what
they ought to have been doing. He kept the
whole bar on its feet and as a result we had a
successful term.
llhank-you. Doctor.
Charlie Plunkett
59
LIGHT ENTERTAINMENT
SOCIETY
The courageous James Rolls led the team
into battle again. for the third term in a row!
The society had a packed Field Day. looking
after Swindon autistic children in the morning
with the kind support of Mrs Ellis who fuelled
us with coffee and biscuits. In the afternoon we
entertained some local Old Age Pensioners over
tea. Guy Henriques and Angus Wright were in
!ypical high spirits. and the piano certainly felt
It. Geoff and Mark played the guitar and I forgot my lines. Another coup for the L.E.S.
Will Pym
Photo by Wiltshire Newspapers
60
MARLBOROUGH
ART
THE WHITE HORSE
BOOKSHOP
at
MERCHANT VENTURERS
136 HIGH STREET
130 HIGH STREET
MARLBOROUGH
MARLBOROUGH
Tel. Marlborough 52071
Tel. Marlborough 54586
-*ARTISTS MATERIAL
GREETINGS CARDS
POSTERS & PRINTS
-*SUPPLIERS OF BOOKS TO
THE COLLEGE
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VISIT OUR CHILDRENS'
BY LOCAL ARTISTS
SHOWROOM
61
TO ..•..
We went to the cemetery, you and I,
And it seemed the world withheld its breath
That such as we should pass it by
For want to see man's throne oj death.
No bird its sacred song did sing
In glee that we might pass its way;
The sun shone not Oil myheavenly being,
As you walked beside me today,
And yet, 'gainst wind and rain
We trod our lonesome track once more.
We knew 'twas riot in vain
To seek, in such a place, God's bounteous store
Of love; for just as out oj dust a flower
Groweth beauteous, full and strong,
So shineth light from out dark's darkest bower
That held sad death with all his
vanquished throng.
And so, rejoiced in heart by this,
We walked to the cemetery, you and I,
And nothing sought but fragile bliss,
For the world we knew, would never pass LIS by.
*
*
*
*
AN IMPRESSION OF INDIA
Walking past [he velvet theatre,
Major-generals, gentlemen and frilly ladies,
Plush.
Outside, ignored, pathetic.
The lepers and cripples lie,
With old tin mugs and scarred, pussy faces.
On, past the dingy fruit shops
Selling mangoes. and pregnant
pomegranates.
The restaurant, festering. damp. sordid.
You enter to scenes of chaos.
A frothing, writhing creature thrashes.
A
A
A
A
A
man steps forward.
crowbar.
sickening thud,
cheer,
rabid dog is dead.
Calm restored, you take your place,
Beside a sweaty native,
And his swarming horde of children.
You find it stran'ge that I should talk
Of that dark place where spirits walk;
Where evil and death do rule supreme
And the devil sits as God's own queen.
The promiscuous menu, and your meal arrives.
The sweltering curry,
Breathtakingly sweaty.
The bananas are an oasis.
You find it even more. I know,
When I do sit in bed and crow
That now I seek that dusty place
Where time enjoys such endless space.
Deliciouslyoriental.
thoughts of
dancing-girls an'tl.
Palaces and,
Plush women and,
Dusty mountains, and,
Soldiers, and.
Cripples, and,
Lepers, and,
Rabid dogs, and,
India.
Yet think awhile on what I say;
Do not with sadness cast away
The thoughts that twirl around my head
As if they were but hastily said.
Think awhile and you will see
That all that now remains for me
Is sleep eternal, yet forlorn,
Without this earth that has me worn.
Hayden Vivash
62
Patrick Jackson
~
.Phto by B·II
,
UIII)'tll/
63
HIDING
Mindless figures,
walk without ambition,
talk without care.
Lack morals and converse freely
of sex
of drugs. Take them-they won't hurt.
You take them and you will suDer
only the worst,
the immodest pain
that crowds
your brain,
brain me, shoot me with a pistol,
again untill die.
Now you are laughed at
and do not laugh back,
and the anger swells in your head
and you wish you were dead but you're not.
You hide beneath an
imaginative creation,
which lies, or fibs
at least.
Nick Daniel
Rainbow
There is a rainbow under my eyelids; it is no It's very silly. I think. that you can't say someordinary rainbow, though: there are two crocks thing is pretty when it is; don't you agree? Still.
of gold, you see; one at either end. Unfortu- that's what friends are for: telling you what you
nately, there is only one Leprechaun. Still, you can do. and what you can't. My Schoolmaster
have to make do with what is given to you, and is a friend. he says. and that's all he does. so it
one Leprechaun between two ends of a rain- must be true.
bow isn't bad at all.
Now I have described the rainbow. you might
I COUldn't really 'tell you when the rainbow imagine that I should tell you about the crock
first appeared: someone once told me it had of gold-but I won't. Gold is nasty. except in
something to do with time and the origin of pictures under your eyelids. and I know that
man. I must say, people do seem to make an because the Leprechaun told me. He says he
awful fuss about time. don't they? I know it only has a crock of gold under every rainbow
doesn't matter though. because the Leprechaun so that people will look at it while they are
told me. Anyhow. in the beginning of the rain- ·thinking about the gold. People always think
bow. there was the rainbow. and after that came about gold, the Leprechaun says, when really
the crock of gold. and then the Leprechaun. It's they should think about Hving. Of course. I
odd to think that they didn't come at the same don't really understand these things, because
my Schoolmaster says you can't understand
time---;but they didn't.
The rainbow itself is very pretty; it looks to anything until you are old. But the Leprechaun
me rather like a lot of colours painted under says it's no use knowing things when you are
my eyelids by the Leprechaun, but I know it old. because when you are old you can't see
isn't because the Leprechaun said so. In fact. Leprechauns at the foot of rainbows under
I'm not really allowed to say 'pretty'. because your eyelids.
Charles Brittain
then all my friends at school say I am pathetic.
64
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Telephone: 52072
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F
E
A
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Plloto by Sophie /Jllller
66
The Mount House Exhibitions
With the opening of the new Goodison Room
in the Mount House early this term there Ita ve
been some enlightening exhibitions. It was
christened with the Art Scholars. who seemed
to be transfixed by keUles and studies of reflection in shape. Chris Lee's work showed
masterly exploration. indicating his dedication.
and Joe Ashley displayed his inks.
'Wool and the Weaver' provided a colourful
focal point to the term with unusual use of
wool. One composition-the multicoloured
carpet-made a particular impact.
Following this came the Liberation of Slavery
exhibition concerning the role of women and
the sewing-machine. It was well documented
and. in all. an impressive display. Various other
domestic instruments were also exhibited. rang-
ing from a pea-peeler to a vacuum cleaner
heavily disguised as a bicycle-pump.
The last exhibition of the term was Robert
A very's collection of railway train photographs:
he is a steam-train afficionado. hence his startling number of photos of them. There are not
many ways you can photograph a train. so the
exhibition was of more intercst to train buffs
rather than photography enthusiasts. although
the subject was fascinating in that it concerned
a feature of a bygone age.
If the standard of this term continues. then
the Mount House will become an important
outlet for impressive and original exhibitions
showing a new aspect of art far removed from
the classroom.
Marina Snow
A New Insight into Life
[ had never envisaged myself having anything
to do with those suffering from mental and/or
physical handicaps. let alone actually coming
to love them and find a joy in their company.
I had always greatly admired people who spent
time with those suffering from any abnormality.
assuring myself that they must have a patience
and warmth within them that I was incapable
of. I soon found how wrong I was. My visits to
the various sections of the mental hospital at
Burderop have given me a new insight into
Jife-I have no time for anyone who claims
that an imperfect being should not be given a
chance to live. Little do they realise how much
affection these children are capable of giving.
how fresh and pleasurable life is to them. Yes.
it is true that they require more care and attention than a 'normal' person. but their demands
are truly simple. It is delightful to be able to
walk into a room and be greeted by smiling
faces. hugs and kisses. I am not a person with
an idealistic picture of these deformed children.
for one cannot escape from the fact that often
it is extremely frustrating to see one's efforts
achieving so little. Yet. when the slightest
amount of progress is made. no matter how
small (it may be purely placing a piece of puzzle
in its correct position). the excitement that the
child experiences i.'i worth all one's previous
pains.
During the first two years that I have been
visiting Burderop I have become intimately
acquainted with children suffering from mental
and physical deformations. I have also spent
time with those who. due to the circumstances
of their chaotic backgrounds. have been found
to be incapable of coping with a normal school
curriculum. The torment that some of these
juveniles have been put through by their parents
is something that we. with our relatively secure
backgrounds. find difficult to comprehend. One
of the girls was locked in her bedroom by her
mother-who felt that all her friends were too
low for her. Things became so bad that when
she was only five. Lisa ran away. Wayne's
parents have both been married three times
before and they just cannot be bothered to look
after him. Many of the marriages are splitting
67
up, with the parents on tranquillisers and in a
permanently suicidal frame of mind. One might
therefore expect the children to be exceptionally violent and stubborn to deal with. However, due to the individual attention that is
shown them they are far more interesting and
interested than the everyday child at primary
school.
The only way really to understand what is
abnormal is to cease regarding it as such and
accept these beings as members of the human
race. Dealings with them are wonderfully refreshing, and it is only by dealing with them
that one can hope to understand C. D. Warner
when he said,
'There is no beauty like that which is spoiled
by an accident.'
Hilary Openshaw
A Turn of Fortune
'Damn you, Andrew Blyth: screamed the
Colonel's wife Doris, upon finding him languid
in front of the T.V .• a newspaper hiding his
peaceful expression. his darned socks dangerously near to the hot-buttered toast she had
carefully prepared. 'It's just no good. You
haven't done an ounce of decent hard work in
your rotten life. That Mr J ellett next door
wasn't rich a couple of years ago. but you
should see his living room now.' Having been
so brutally aroused, the Col6l1el returned to
his paper, but those poignant remarks were
fixed in his mind.
* *
*
*
The key turned silently in the lock, as if it
was sliding on finely greased ball-bearings. and
the dim figure of Colonel Blyth slipped guilefully into the mysterious room. The protuberant
edges of the polished furniture gleamed and
glinted in the pure. blue-white moonlight. The
house was quiet and still. The Colonel flicked
the switch of his torch, which then wandered
curiously among the elaborate contents of the
room, every now and then pausing to capture
an expensive article in its reverential glare: a
priceless vase; a Chippendale dressing table; a
16th century musket. Soon it was darting to
and fro, feeding on more objects as its manipulator stood. nervous. but wildly excited and
jealous. on a lush Persian carpet. Suddenly he
caught a glimpse of gold. hiding seductively
behind a dusty pile of files and business letters.
Moving closer. he realised that it was ..he figure
68
of a hunting dog, ornately fashioned into the
scent-sniffing posture. nose poked sensitively
forward. front leg cocked, proud. majestic in the
moonlight. anticipating the call for duty. This
call was not long in coming. for almost at once
the hound was running down the garden path of
Mr J cliett. wrapped in a soiled paper bag.
under the protecting arm of Colonel Blyth. the
amateur burglar.
*
* *
*
*
*
*
The next day, there was a knock on the door
of Mr Jellett's house.
'Momin',' snapped the visitor. 'Name's Swizzel. antique dealer. Your missus came round
yesterday and said you 'ad some nice things in
your sittin'-room. She wants me to value them.'
'Do come in,' replied the 'honourable' Mr
Jellett. 'This way, please.'
'Ta, guv'nor!' cocked the local. The cat was
in the bag as far as the Colonel was concerned.
*
Two years later, lunch is being served at
Wormwood Scrubs prison. residence of prisoner no. 2516. formerly known as Anthony
Jellett. alias Charles Fortescue. jewel thief and
professional smuggler! And two years later
there is a knock on the front door of Colonel
Blyth's house. He leaves his paper and his television to answer the door, but the room is not
left empty, for a small, gold hunting dog guards
.it from the mantelpiece.
Ben Ramsbotham
See Our Names in Print?
There can be few people these days who
are unaware that Blake's hymn Jerusalem was
inspired by his acquaintance with the Marlborough College Common Room. Hence his
affectionate references to 'England's Green' and
'pleasant Land', not to mention the 'dark satanic
Mills'. It is perhaps less widely appreciated
how great a debt other writers owe to the same
august body. Below are printed a mere 'handful
of references. selected almost at random, in a
casual turning of the pages of English literature.
'Weldon, thou good and faithful servant.'Matthew. XXV. 21.
'But we've proved it again and again.
That if once you have paid him the Oain-geld
You never get rid of the Dain.'-Oain-geld.
Kipling.
'I have no smaJl talk. and Peel has no manners.'
-G. W. E. Russell.
, ... this blasted Heath .... '-Macbeth I.
iii. 72.
'Rogers' f~lse and flattering tongue:-Lamb.
'Israel loved Joseph more than all his children.
because he was the son of his old age: and he
made him a coat of many colours.'-Genesis.
37.3.
'l1hy soul was like a star, and dwelt apart:
Thou hadst a voice whose sound was like the
sea:
Pure as the naked Evans, majestic. free.
So didst thou travel on life's common way
In cheerful goodliness.'-Wordsworth.
'The chief advantage of London ,is. that a man
is always so near his Burrow,'-Boswell.
Johnson.
'Like unlettered Clark, still cry "Amen".'Shakespeare. Sonnet 85.
'I believe they went out, like all good things.
with the Stuarts.'-Disraeli.
'The yellow Fogg that rubs his back upon the
window-panes.'-Eliot.
'She is your treasure. she must have a husband:
I must dance. Barefoot. on her wedding day.'
-Shakespeare. Taming of the Shrew.
'When in the darkest depths the miner striving.
Feels in his arms the vigour of the Lord,
Strikes for a kingdom and his King's arriving
Holding his Pick more splendid than the sword.'
-Geoffrey Anketell Studdert-Kennedy.
'Cannon to right of them,
Cannon to left of them.
Cannon in front of them,
Volley'd and thunder'd.
'It's a fair Copp.'-Trad.
'His talk was like a stream, which runs
With rapid change from rocks to roses:
It slipped from politics to puns.
It passed from Mahomet to Moses:
Beginning with the laws which keep
The planets in their radiant courses
And ending with some precept deep
For dressing Ea'les. or shoeing horses.'
-Winthrop Mackworth Praed.
'This is a puzzling world, and old Harris
Got a finger in it.'-George Eliot, Mill on the
Floss.
'The road to Ellis. paved with good intentions.'
-?
69
Young England at School
The following extracts arc taken from an
article which appeared in The Ludgate Monthly
in 1903. written by W. Chas. Sargent He describes two stages in the school's development,
and shows remarkable optimism and enthusiasm in the la~ter.
1. "Marlborough's first scholars were far from
a promising set. and it seems that Dr. Wilkinson
(M.C:s first headmaster) adopted a very bad
system by taking entire control of the whole
school. and only investing authority in the
assistant masters during school hours and within their own forms.
"Nowhere was the absence of public school
feeling more apparent in young Marlborough
than in the boys' games. There was no organised system and no-one to organise one. The
masters could not do it; for at no school was it
customary for masters to have social intercourse with the boys, or to join in their games
which now makes the life of a boy at school
one of harmony between his tutors and fellow
scholars.
"Thus it happened that the boys amused
themselves individually or in sets, each after
their own fashion. and without reference to
others; and amusement too frequently took the
form of wandering about the country. doing as
much mischief as possible. Dr. Wilkinson exercised his authority in a manner which irritated
the ringleaders. Afraid to trust the boys beyond
his own reach. he not only fixed numberless and
irksome bounds beyond which they might not
wander. but he also instituted a roll-call. which
took place. not. as might naturally be supposed.
at fixed hours. but at any time in the school;
one can imagine it was quite impossible to keep
70
any order. and the fame of the school in the
outside world became so bad that parents.
naturally refusing to send their sons. made the
numbers soon begin to decline. One well-known
writer wrote of Marlborough. that it was a
society of 'poachers. poultry-stealers. and rat
hunters: and it was debated whether it would
be better that the school should cease to be."
2. "It was easily seen that Mr Bell (M.C:s
headmaster at time of writing) was working in
harmony with his numerous assistant masters
and the five or six hundred boys at the College;
and so it ought to be. for. possessed of a beautiful school and masters of the highest excellence.
who take a pride in every boy's career at the
school and the onward tread of the college to
the highest rank in the scholastic world. he
should be happy. although. of course. there
must necessarily be a great amount of anxiety
where there is such a charge.
"As I was ushered into Mr Bell's handsome
study. I could not help thinking to myself. that.
to be Head-master of Marlborough was all that
anyone could wish for in this world(!). What a
delightful house. to be sure. is apportioned to
him. while his grounds are simply a picture.
"The masters are in sympathy with the boys;
and. besides being interested in their educational
welfare. they take part in their games. and that
which is the interest of the boys is also of the
greatest importance to the masters.
"It is such harmony and good fellowship
between masters and scholars that make school
life of the present age so full of happiness and
contentment. and encourage the pupils to a
diligent pursuit of their studies and to take an
earnest interest in their work."
A Stalinist Stronghold
It takes a long. long time to get to the
People's Socialist Republic of Albania. in fact
nearly two days. which considering Athens is
about 3 hours away from Heathrow deserves
explanation. It is one of the obvious external
signs of Albania's self-imposed isolation from
the rest of the world. designed to keep her version of the Marxist line free from impuritiesan isolationism pursued with the same sort of
zeal as a Carmelite nun abjures the world. the
flesh and the devil. For the outside world poses
a very real threat. People in Albania feel that
their tiny. insignificant and ignored country
cannot preserve its national identity in any
other way. and it is nationalism rather than
Marxism which is the dominant creed of the
Albanians. The Albanian government. still led
by ageing partisans from the Second World
War. successively received support from the
Communist giants of Russia and China. only to
reject them both as 'bourgeois revisionists'. the
one after the disgrace of Stalin (who is still
honoured by large numbers of outstandingly
ugly statues). the other after the downfall of
The Gang of Four.
To the eyes of a Western European the price
of autonomy is high. In the country peasants
(mainly women. in the tradition of Balkan
peasantry. while the men chat and sleep) work
in gangs of 20-30 hoeing. planting. cutting crops
by hand. The main road from the border with
Yugoslavia near Titograd to the capital of Albania. Tirana. is no wider and in far worse
repair than the Marlborough-Swindon road.
But then. there is hardly any traffic except for
leftover Chinese jeeps and lorries built to 1940's
specifications. Food. though plentiful. is of very
poor quality. Clothes are of shoddy. garish manmade fa:brics which fall apart so frequently
that lots of people were walking around in split
shoes and torn shirts. Blocks of flats have sagging balconies. are unpainted with no plaster:
in fact nearly all modern building is indescribably dreary. especially as no block is free of
the crushing evidence of party propaganda:
'Long Live Comrade Hoxha' (the President)
'All Praise to the Aims of the Seventh Party
Congress'. This extends to the countryside
where hillsides are regularly decorated with
these exhortations laid out in stones to form a
kind of landscape propaganda visible for miles
around. 1984 arrived in Albania some years ago.
All tourists go in groups by Italian-built
luxury buses with two guides. one of whom in
my case was a trained political cadre of the
Party. Such a system means that one is effectively segregated for large periods of time into
special areas in hotels. Museums were cleared
of Albanians at our approach. As in all Communist countries I have visited. one feels contagious. a kind of immoral miasma. Our guides
were generally courteous and patient of Western vagaries. although sometimes ,they disapproved of our inability to be impressed by
the hideous Monuments to the People's Martyrs
and our interest in censored museum exhibits.
One of the government ministers. Shehu. had
recently committed suicide (?) in shady circumstances and a damnatio memoriae of such virulent proportions had ensued that not only were
photos inside museums inexpertly doctored to
remove him. but some Albania-watchers in my
group were adamant that his name had also
been scraped off manhole covers in the capital.
I was rather doubtful that they were ever there
in the first place. and perhaps this says as much
about the tourists' over-reaction to Albania as
about Albania itself.
State farms. Hox;ha's birthplace (rebuilt with
love but not with care and therefore typically
shoddy). the most primitive chemical works (the
post-war development of which. our guides informed us. proved the superiority of socialism
over capitalism). and. above all. towering
stupendous scenery formed the basis of our
visit. Two places stand out in my mind: first.
the rebuilt mediaeval castle of the national hero.
Skanderbek. who fought against the Turkish
occupation. This is set on a crag commanding
the countryside around (Albanians call themselves 'Sons of Eagles'), and is being reconstructed almost from its foundations. Although
I am told the design is taken from early prints.
the modern materials give the whole place a
sham look. like a Hollywood stage set. For such
a poor country. a lot of money is being put into
this, and it is a unique example of how necessary the government thinks it is to have control
71
over the people's historical consciousness, even
to the extent of re-creating a visible focus. The
second is associated with a peculiarly Albanian
phenomenon, a total ban on religion. The biggest Catholic cathedral in the Balkans is now
a Palace of Sport and, except for the odd deserted church or mosque minaret, every vestige
has been eradicated. In the 'Museum of
Atheism' were photos of fat and evil-looking
priests and mUllahs consorting with Mussolini's
forces of occupation, jostling with mediaeval
heaven and hell paintings and a saint's 'body',
worshipped for centuries. which turned out to
be made of straw. The visitors' book was filled
with ecstatic comments from previous foreign
visitors, like the French Marxist-Leninist
students-'je suis ete ravi par cet'le exposition'
later embellished by the British with 'MAY
GOD FORGIVE YOU'!
Sadly this picture is not exaggerated and is
an almost free gift to those who maintain that
all alternatives to capitalism arc predestined
failures and inherently sinful. Of course I
shudder at the system in Albania, but its people.
unlike its government. cannot be considered
deranged fanatics and I do not want this article
to pander to that kind of superiority complex.
There were wonderful comic moments during
the visit, usually associated with the Hotel
Tirana nightclub, handkerchief dances, Cannen
sung in Albanian, desperate diplomats and the
efforts of journalists "' the group to remain
incognito. and get more shocking stories than
the next hack, but the situation of the people
remains tragic. It was the only time, however
fascinating the experience, that I have ever
appreciated the tawdry wealth of Heathrow
and the outer London suburbs on my return.
but the most important and best thing must be
the freedom of speech here, much vaunted, but
as I see it now, desperately fragile.
Clare Russell
How to get an Off..Games Chit
or Hints for Skivers
1. Unless dying always arrive during surgery
time. (Consult your Almanac.)
2. Greet Nurse pleasantly. preferably by
name.
3. Tell her she's lost weight.
4. Ask after the cat and goldfish. stroke
said cat if she is around. Don't stroke goldfish.
S. Never put on that hard-done-by, 'I'm
trying so hard to carryon' face. We can see
straight through that one.
6. State complaint clearly. not mentioning
games. Try to produce some visible evidence
of pain or injury. (Blue eye shadow around a
supposed injured limb looks good.) Marks will
be given for originality. Thermometers can be
72
fixed. but be warned. running them under the
hot tap can make them jump to 106. We then
know that you're faking or dead!
7. It's a good idea to bring a friend with
you. You can then have a discreet conversation
in the background about how you're looking
forward to this afternoon's P.E.fGames and
how well you get on with Messrs Whitaker,
Patching, Church and Copp. Make sure we
hear this. but don't be too obvious.
8. If no off-games chit is produced after all
this. try the direct method-ask for one. You
could be surprised.
9. If all else fails consult D. Moody in
Turner-he's the expert.
Lesley. Jane and Fiona
The Quest for Understanding;
A Topographic Defence
'/ have memory and awareness
But / have no shape or form
As a disembodied spirit
/ am dead and yet unhorn'.
Rush- Cygnus X-I Book II
Part V; Cygnus, Bringer of Balance.
The strange, yet significant. disappearance of
Sid Barrett in 1970 has to be one of the most
crucial touchstones of contemporary thought.
Barrett was fighting an heroic. but futile. rearguard action against a moral fall that was both
insipid and inherent. Close inspection of the
circumstances surrounding this event reveals
that previous speculations that Barrett had become North Western Marketing Director for
Macfisheries were dangerously wide of the
mark; Kantian optimism blended with Schopenhauer's refusal to consider that which is
painfully obvious with any kind of empirical
practicality.
Yet this is what makes the events of 1974 so
crucial to the development of our new logical
order. The hope of the Wilsonian late sixties
merges with the despair of the Heath adminis-
tration, and then he was back, four years older,
four more years of opposition behind him, four
more years of wily cynicism on his pragmatic
Northern face, four more years of Macfisheries
'deep-fri' cod fillets and 'boil in t' bag' traditional West Riding halibut. His words upon
entering the stern black portals on number ten
once more; 'Hello Marcia', seem to sum up the
hopes and aspirations of a lost generation.
It was in 1974 that I too saw the light. Returning by coach from Oslo after witnessing
what was one of the greatest Budgie gigs of the
period, the intcnse awareness of 'certain substances' crowding my brain. I turned to the
bearded moron sitting next to me . . . . . . it
couldn't be? Sid'? Hero of the V.F.O., the first
man to perform in front of projected bubbles?
. . . .. the creator of 'Sometimes I walk. sometimes I run, sometimes I mow the lawn, but
most of the time I'm too stoned to bother?'
. ..... It wasn't.
But I could have sworn they smelt the same.
James Norton.
Ugandan Affairs Desk
Has Science taken on Christianity?
'Evolution is simply the process by which
chance (the random mutations in the nucleic
acid helix caused by natural radiation) combines
with natural law to create living forms better
and beller adapted to survive.'
Martin Gardiner, The Ambidextrous Universe
'And God said "Let the earth bring jorth living
creatures according' to their kind: callie and
creeping things and beasts of the earth according to their kind. and everything that 'creeps
upon the ground according to its kind." And
God saw that it was good:
Genesis I (24-25, slightly edited)
Natural and Artificial Selection
When Martin Gardiner speaks of 'natural
law' above, he is referring to both of these kinds
of selection. [t is easier to explain artificial
selection first. Carl Sagan gives an interesting
example of this in his recent book Cosmos. A
breed of crabs in the Japanese Inland Sea happen to have shells remarkably similar in shape
to a warrior's face. However, we know this was
not always the case. When investigated, it was
found that local fishermen never eat crabs with
such shells due to a frightening myth. Over
many years. crabs with normal shells have
been eradicated.
Natural selection is a parallel in nature. The
only difference is that man is not responsible
for any change-otber predators or environmental conditions are instead. One might ask
why man is not considered part of nature: he
73
is usually. and some experts do not use the
term 'artificial selection' at all.
This logical theory would explain why animals with certain characteristics survive and
others do not. However. how is it possible for
an animal to change at all? Evolutionists usc
complex biology here-'the random mutations
in the nucleic acid helix' etc. To keep my argument complete. this has to be covered:
D.N.A. and Mutation
Characteristics are passed on from generation
to generation via genes; genes are found in
chromosomes. which in turn arc found in nuclei
in cells. Chromosomes are tiny. and genes arc
therefore minuscule 'and consist of only protein
and D.N.A.; the latter is what determines features on a living thing. When chromosomes reform 'into two (as they have to do many times in
an animal or plant's growth and reproduction).
the products arc almost always exactly the same
as the original one was before reforming. However. one in 1.000.000 times a mutation occurs.
and this can be significant. For example. a
single gene determines whether one is able to
curl one's tongue or not. Mutations could have
quite noticeable effects. then. But are these
mutations passed on from one generation to
another. or are they lost? Hugo de Vries discovered that it is the former.
Evolution. then. would seem a logical theory_
It would even seem logical to apply it over
millions of years of mutation and selection. and
to say that man (or any animal or plant for
that matter) could have derived from something looking very different. Indeed. evolutionists put the origins of life at a time 4 billion
years ago. when simple molecules arranged
themselves by pure chance to make a primitive
cell. That would allow a long time for significant change!
Thus I have explained how things can change.
according to the evolutionists. and have tried
to put the argument beyond a level where it can
be easily put down. But I have not tried to
Phto by Bill
74
LoIIYOII
prove it. because there is another side to the
argument that prevents it from being proven.
Before I move on. I must at least mention
Charles Darwin. the founder of evolution. who
produced a theory accepted by most people.
even today. He was not a Christian. and wrote
in his Origin of Species:
'There seems too much misery in the world.
I cannot persuade myself that a beneficent and
omnipotent God would have designedly created
the fchneumonidae with the express intention
of their feeding within the living bodies of caterpillars.'
C~tionism
It. would be fair to say that most people regardJCreationists as nut-cases who ignore science
for fear of it ruining their ordered views. Prof.
David F. Horrobin wrote Science is God with
this lin mind. Personally, I disagree with his
views. Creationists cannot be lumped into one
category; there are. as I see it. three types:
I. Pure Creationists.
T~ese believe that the Bible was divinely inspin~d and therefore accurate, and man was
created as in Genesis. They dismiss Darwin's
ideas as a result.
2. Step Creationists.
Tijese believe in a very modern theory. i.e.
that I evolution is true in so far as creatures
change over history. but the changes are not
gradual. Instead. it is suggested that the changes
occurred in leaps. caused by God and not evolution.There is some fossil evidence to support
this theory. but some evolutionists do not accept
it. Others say that evolution can happen faster
at some times than others if conditions change,
but at most times they do not. so little or no
evol~tion takes place then (in their opinion).
3. ~ompromise Creationists.
T~ese believe that the beginning of the
Bible is not accurate (Le. it was not inspired by
God-it is not realistic to suggest it was), and
that evolution is true, but also:
'The true significance of the first chapter of
Genesis is to assert that God made the universe
and all in it. that He saw it was good. and that
He placed man in a special relationship to
Himself.'
David Lack. Evolutionary Theory
and Christian Belief
Despite the fairness of this approach. it is
criticised by all sides. Pure Creationists say that
destroying any part of the Bible is an unacceptable thing; evolutionists say that there is
then no evidence at all for a God anyway. Even
so. I accept this theory.
Summary
This whole case has been called 'The Unresolved Conflict' because it cannot be resolved
on this world; both sides have internal conflicts. I have shown those within the Creationist
side. but perhaps it would be worth illustrating
those within the evolutionist side by taking one
example. Bjorn Kurten has put forward the
theory that man did not evolve from apes,
rather apes from man! Enough said about
argument-what can the various sides do about
it'? Evolutionists can be confident they will
never be proven wrong. Creationists can only
have Faith. since they have no external proof
to show. I hope I can be forgiven one more
quotation:
'Now faith is the assurance of things hoped
for, the conviction of things not seen ..... By
faith we understand that the world was created
by the word of God, so that what is seen was
made out of things which do not appear.'
Hebrews II
Jonathan Calladine
7S
Applied Science at Marlborough
As a nation we have recently been spending
much time examining our navels and speculating on how it is that we have all the wealth of
North Sea Oil. but are still worse off than the
French. the Germans. and worst of all. the
Japanese. Sooner or later the discussion inevitably comes round to the status of the engineering profession in this country. since this is one
of the aspects in which there is considerable
difference between us and these apparently more
successful countries. The Finniston report
examined this. and made recommendations
which are still being debated by parliament and
the engineering institutions.
At Marlborough we could sit back rather
complacently and say that we are doing our bit
to help the nation in this very important area.
Twice as many leavers go to read engineering
at a university or polytechnic as go to read pure
sciences. and this is well above the national
average. We chose to do the Nuffield A level
course in physics largely because it stresses the
importance of being able to apply the basic
concepts of physics to real situations: this is
especially true during the two two-week practical investigations which expose our students to
far more 'real' science than they would ever
meet in a 'traditional' course. This is supported
by an A level exam in which the long answer
and comprehension papers emphasise the importance of applying the ideas learned in the
course to real problems.
We would be wrong. however. if we considered that the only people who mattered were
our A level students. They constitute only one
third of their year group. and the lives of the
olher two thirds are going to be affected by the
'second industrial revolution' that is going on
around us almost as much as those people
directly involved in the manufacture and sales
of the 'new technology'. In order to be sure
that we reach everyone we need to include
applied science in the lower school curriculum.
Existing 0 level courses are not very helpful.
but there are several groups who are producing
material that can be used to introduce applied
science topics in the lower school. In particular
there is the 'Science in Society' project. which
whilst written primarily for older students. con76
tains several parts that are suitable for use in
the lower school. There is also the 'Physics Plus'
project. to which Frank McKim is at present
seconded for half his time. For the time being
this new material must be taught alongside our
present lower school course. and we have been
given extra time in the Remove year to make
this possible.
The new work in the Remove course will
ha ve two distinct parts. The first will be the
study of a topic. which may be either an entirely practical problem. or might bc more
theoretical: e.g. the cost of heating a house by
different methods. and the savings to be gained
by better insulation. The second part will be a
course in electronics. Boys will start by seeing
that circuits do a definite. well-defined job. and
will then see how simple systems may be combined to produce a more complex device. Once
our students have grasped the rudiments of
digital electronics. we will show them what a
microprocessor does. and they will be able to
devise applications for microprocessors. We do
not plan to produce electronic engineers. but
hope that electronics and microprocessors will
lose much of their mystery.
Outside the classroom the projects lab has
an important role to play in fostering and
developing interest in applied science. Plans are
being made to expand this considerably. and to
bring much of the practical project work now
going on in the college under one roof. Since
this is the 1980's. electronics will undoubtedly
continue to play a major part in its activities.
but Bob Kneale. who will be running it, plans
to provide a home for the metal-workers and
model makers. since their interests are just as
good applied science as is electronics. Electronics is not actually very much use unless it is
mounted in a box. and it is very much more
interesting if it does something like controlIing
a model or a robol. Models provide excellent
opportunity for developing applications for
mircoprocessors. We hope that it will be possible for most boys to do a course in basic pra~
tical techniques during their first year. and that
thereafter many will participate on a olub or
option basis.
John Mills
Professor D. R. Myddleton
A~ the end of this summer term Professor
Mycldleton leaves Marlborough. having spent
his ~bbatical year away from Cranfield Institute of Technology teaching Business Studies.
Marlborough was very lucky that he agreed to
visitl us, and in the short time that he was here
he ~rought a new approach and new life to a
cou~e which was in danger of stagnating.
Thanks to an incredible work-rate and a very
modern typewriter the Professor also managed
to riwrite or revise large parts of the Business
Studies text used in schools all over the country.
Perhaps Professor Myddleton's greatest attribute: is his ability to come down to the level of
the people he is teaching. and to express his
inte!Est in even the most basic of questions. for
at ~arlborough he had to answer many of
these. He managed skilfully to keep his strong
views about economics away from the class-
room to a large extent. to avoid confusing his
pupils.
While at Marlborough the Professor became
one of the few regular supporters of the first
hockey eleven. even though he found the object
of the game a little hard to understand. A
dreaded secret weapon at debates and an unpredictable and entertaining public speaker.
the professor will be sadly missed by the school.
Those people whose careers will not take them
to Cranfield Business School to meet the Professor may nevertheless take pleasure in reading
his correspondence in the Financial Times
under one of his many pseUdonyms.
On behalf of the school I would like to
thank him for the enormous amount he has
done here in such a short time. and wish him
well for the future.
Greville Ward
Turner House
Ever since Turner House started as a boys'
hous~ many years ago. it has stayed as such
with9ut the intrusion of females. It has been a
secure haven for many boys who have ever felt
downtrodden by the opposite sex exercising
their I 'equality' at M.e.; the sort of thing that
neveq existed at the time when Turner was built.
All-male senior houses are now in the minority.
and \viii be deprived of one of their number
next term as Turner reluctantly opens its doors
to the fairer sex. They have always been a
privilbge. something which anyone who has
spentl his time in Turner can tell you. and are
one of the few vestiges of the old way of thought
that temain. The end of the summer term marks
the end of an era for Turner House and its
devotees. made doubly worse by the threat of
renoVation. It brings a lump to my throat to
thinkl that never again will I behold the familiar.
chipped old paintwork. nor smell that smell
that I know so well. Of course Turner is incurring a great loss in Mr Weldon's departure
since he has always been so sympathetic with
his boys. a characteristic which is rarely to be
found these days. He has been an integral part
of Turner's character for a long time now, and
still shows all the rest that a house with very
few captains and no house play can survive
just as well. Turner has been a focal point of
social activity throughout its history, and although I doubt that will change. I know many
people will never consider it to be the same
thing again. It is a time of great sadness to many
of us, but despite that. we wish the Holgates
all the best since we want Turner's name to
live on.
Damian Jones and Ben Musgrave
77
Old Marlburian Nudes
Leopoldo D. Galticri-B2 1934-Masterminded
the Argentinian invasion of the Falkland
Islands and was subsequently deposed in a
coup. Leo says a big 'HI THERE' to all
his mates back at M.C. and tells us that hc
now spends his time fashion modelling. He
was recently seen off the South American
coast demonstrating his new concrete shoes.
Ar~hur
W. Scargill-Pres. I 947-Like aU O.M.s
Arthur is dedicated to the destruction of
civilization. So dedicated is he to the socialist ideal that he got his new Jaguar in red!
Ian J. Marshall-C2 1976-Has been elected
president of the North Wiltshire Bikers
Confederation.
Andrew W. Roan-Pres. 1977-Is currently
training with the Special Patrol Group prior
to emigrating to South Africa.
Adolf Hitler-Turner 1906-15 dead.
J. Christ-B3 0013-15 still upset at not being
made a house captain. His housemaster
says: 'I don't care who his father is. I expect
miraoles from every boy in this house'.
Michael R. Jagger-Litt. 18SI-Has recently
toured Europe with his popular crooning
group 'The Rolling Stones'. Countless Marlburians saw them play at Wembley. proving
that they do care for the elderly. Mick has
given new meaning to the term 'OLD'
Marlburian.
Common Room News
J1he editors of the Marlburianlooked imploringly at me in ~he las1 meeting ;before the
end of term. and asked if. really 'there wasn't
something new I could write in this column
that didn't involve babies or people 'leaVing.
"What?". I replied. "And toss aside over ten
years of tradition? You won't catch me doing
anything trendy: you should have asked one of
my predecessors. 'like Charles Graham. Anyway
there's a whdle group of amateur Common
Room sta~isticians from Weybridge who like to
keep up a full tally." So. here's the state of
affairs at the end of the year 1981-82.
(a) Births: To the Patchings. Daniel Ellis.
Cute name. eh?
To the Foggs. Martha. Number Six. A new
boarding house is being built to accommodate
any future additions.
(b) Marriages: Alison has picked Bob.
(c) Leavers: Some very exalted figures. Who
have contributed much to lhe 'life of Marlborough. and some 'newcomers'. whose company we've enjoyed greatly. albeit shortly. The
78
former include Michael Jeans-Jakobsson.
Rupert Lane. Stuart Hockey and Alan MacKichan. J1he latter 'Count 'in their number Andy
Lowe. Jenny Ba'll. Martin Roberts. Mike Gibbons. David Myddleton. Richard Savage and
Marie-Pierre Gavagne.
(d) In brackets: This quaint terminology
refers to tlhose Who leave temporarily. Mark
Herbert-Smith is exchanging with an American.
whilst Nick Bunch is going to be Head of
Department at the British section of the Lycee
International in Paris.
(e) A.O.B.: Ray Lewer retires after a very
long time in the Book Office (46 years). and
Howard Lansley has officially retired from
Accounts. More 'Senior people than I have referred to the debt that we owe them. All I can
say is that. for me. one of the "younger" members of Common Room. they were wonderfully
accessible people. I never felt frightened to go
to see either of them with a difficulty. and they
always commanded my respect. But most of a'lI.
they never flapped. Both perfected an expression
Piloto by Beverley Healh
understanding. no matter 'how annoyor !late any of us unworldly school[ea~CJ;lers had been.
understanding could also be used to
the way that Hugh Weldon ran Turner
and the school will be poorer without
comments at Housemasters' meetings.
I'm
that we all hope to see more of him.
now t:hat he 'has emerged from the house that
has
synonymous with his name over
~he
a few houses could have the name
It is the measure of Marlborough's diverHugh and Michael 'have both been
successful 'housemasters. Litf!lefield. Michael's
present 'house, will miss his quiet assured way
of running it. and I'm sure his calming influence
will help the Lodge run all the more smoothly
when he becomes Second Master.
Meanwhile. Heather Stewart joins 'Vhe Lodge
team too by becoming the Mistress in dharge of
the Master. Congratulations to 'him! And finally.
Alf Pletts is returning to light du~ies after a
very serious operation. from which 'he has had
to take over six months to recover. We're aU
very glad to see Ihim back.
Bob Sanderson
Secretary of Common Room
79
,
I'
'/ .
',1
J
.1!f~!1
.. <j
.\:",
~.':.' .~
",_.J.
'uno .. ~ '.•. Wanna buy some gear? We got T-Shirts, Dockers, leather gear and
studs all for sale •••••• Get that 'Punky and Booty look'-School Rules force
closing down sale.
WANTED-Trousers, Polyester preferably and flared. Also Jackets with British
Aerospace Lapels.
80