GRIOT News October 2013

GRIOT NEWS
OCTOBER 2013, Vol. I
GRIOT Circle
a gathering of elders
It is not our differences that divide us. It is our inability to recognize, accept, and celebrate those differences.” — Audre Lorde
Shine with GRIOT!
Greetings from the Board Chair
Dear GRIOT Members and Friends:
I am extremely happy to reintroduce our “GRIOT
News” in its refreshed bi-monthly format. I am also
pleased to welcome four new Board members who
have recently joined us. With this redesigned issue of
the newsletter we will be featuring profiles of members, volunteers and friends of GRIOT.We begin with a
“twin” profile of two members and two of our longest
serving, loyal volunteers: Barbara Abrams and John
Vazquez who shared their fascinating stories with volunteer Elly Bulkin. It is inspiring to me to have amazing
people working together to create opportunities for
change in our community and at GRIOT.
an individual donor program. We will be sharing our
plans on this in the coming months. As always we are
grateful to current contributors and to our members
who give of your time, talent and treasure to GRIOT.
The time for GRIOT to shine, the time for you to
shine is now! The holiday season will soon be upon us
and I encourage you to connect with GRIOT.Whether
it is through participation in our programs, volunteering your time, or making a gift, engaging with GRIOT
means taking a stand against isolation and loneliness
and being embraced by community. The Board and I
look forward to seeing and talking with you,over the
coming weeks and months. I hope you will join us at
On behalf of the GRIOT Board and staff I offer a big upcoming festivities including our Thanksgiving celethanks to our members, donors, volunteers and col- bration on November 23rd.
leagues for your continued support of LGBTQ People
of Color elders. It is an exciting time to be involved Warm regards
with GRIOT as we build on the past and look to the ,
future in providing quality programs in a welcoming Franciene Forte
environment. As we move forward, the Board working Board Chair, GRIOT Circle,
closely with staff and members, will take a hard look at
our programs and seek the resources to find a space
that is comfortable, inviting and can accommodate our
needs as an elder community. Your input and com- u profile: volunteer . . . . 2-5
mitment is essential as we enter this next phase of
u griot board welcomes new members . . . . 6
shaping our work and securing GRIOT’s future. Our
community needs GRIOT and we need you. Past and u what’s up! . . . .7
current cuts in government funding have taken their u health resource . . . . 8
toll on some of our programming and staffing. We are
appreciative of the support we have received from
local foundations and we are committed to building
INSIDE THIS ISSUE . . .
2
PROFILE: Volunteer
BARBARA ABRAMS
when they’re forced out the door. People are having a good
time because they can be themselves. A lot of people are
not out and they get to feel out at GRIOT.
We had someone in yesterday to talk about palliative care
and hospice care. Even after your passing you can get services for those that are grieving. I had no idea. All these
things are so informative. Being part of GRIOT is beneficial,
and that’s why I spend a lot of time here.
What is especially important to you about GRIOT?
When I was sick in the hospital in February 2013 Katherine called me and sent me a card, and other staff members
called. We’re like a family here. And that feels really good.
It’s a nice backup when nobody else exists. I’m the last of
my mother’s womb, because everyone else is deceased—
my mother, my father, and my two brothers. I’m the last one
standing. I know a whole lot more than I ever did. I strive to
get all I can out of this life.
Can you say a word or two that describes GRIOT?
Moving forward.
Brooklyn P
ride 2013
— Barbara
What was coming out like for you?
Abrams, m
ember
Interview by Elly Bulkin
What’s been your involvement with GRIOT?
Since it began in 1996 at the Y on Atlantic Avenue. Regina
Shavers was the founder and she was a lot of fun. I knew
her in the street and in the clubs. When she mentioned
that she wanted to start something for LGBT people of
color seniors, I said that I would definitely want to be a
part of that. We were able to have a lot of night activities
at the Y—learning and caring for others and yourself, legal
matters, how to have a better life.
GRIOT Circle fell on some hard times. GRIOT feels like
it has life to it. The comparison I’d give is being dehydrated
and then you get some water.This is like a hydrated period.
I’m here every day 9 to 5, unless I have doctors’ appointments. I coordinate the files and inventory in our storage
facility. I keep records, supply information to whoever needs
it, answer phones, and assist Dior. I do small but meaningful things like cleaning, putting toilet paper in the holder,
putting paper towels in the dispenser. I do those things
because I want to. GRIOT is a place away from home, and I
do the same things I do at home. I bring those same picky
habits to GRIOT.
What is your favorite GRIOT activity or program?
A women’s group that helps you understand how to be a
better you.We get tools to make our lives better. And a lot
of people, including myself, are happy to know that there
are a lot of people who are like them.
It’s a 6-week program, every Thursday, 4:00-6:00. After
that we stay and talk and eat and people go home, usually
I was born in 1944, and I came out when I was 17 or
18 years old. In high school there was this girl that I liked.
I didn’t know what was going on, because I liked her more
and more, and I wanted to see her. So I’d go by her house,
and we’d just sit and talk.
My best friend’s sister was gay and she’d come down to
Florida from New York and I thought how nice and crisp
she looked. She asked me one day while I was sitting outside, “Can I stop and talk?” So we were having a regular
conversation, and she asked, “Can I kiss you?” I thought
I’d be freaked out because I was raised up with Lord language—“Lord this” and “Lord that” and “the Lord will punish you. You’ll burn in hell for eternity.” So I told her she
could kiss me, and she did. I enjoyed it but I told her, “I think
you need to go home now.” So she left. I went inside, and
I stared at the mirror waiting for fangs to come out of my
face because I thought I’d be a demon in hell for kissing a
same-sex person. The word then was “really not a woman”—“Don’t be out there with the bulldaggers.” I was waiting by the mirror for about an hour, and no fangs came out.
So I went to her home, and I was there for a good part of
the night doing to her what she did to me. And it felt right.
So I decided I must be one of “those people.” I still didn’t
know how to define it. So I called it “those people.” But I
didn’t see her again because I was afraid of her—she was
too controlling, and I don’t like being controlled. I wanted
to find my own way
Eventually I saw this TV program, Dick Van Dyke with
Mary Tyler Moore. She would throw her hat in the air and
she’d go to her apartment. At that time, I knew nothing
about the word “apartment,” but she was my motivation to
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find a better way to make a life for myself. I decided I was lesbian?
going to leave Florida and come to New York, and I did do
When I met my first girlfriend. I felt like WOW! I’m really
that in 1969.
cool, because I have a girlfriend. And nobody chose me. I
I married the guy next door to my family’s hog farm. His chose her. That was a big deal!
family and my mother decided that I was going to marry
She said she wanted to be with me, and I asked whether
their son. It was very brief because it was Vietnam time and she wanted to be with me now. And she said, “Yes,” and
they were doing the draft and his last name started with I said, “Tonight? Would you be ready to live with me, if I
“A,” so he was called first. He would always spy on me—he come and get you?” And she said, “Yes.” She lived in the
was so possessive. I couldn’t take it. I told him I was going Bronx, and I lived in Harlem. I had a friend who had a car,
to leave him and he’d never see me again.
so at midnight I picked up Sylvia and her baby, who was
And that’s what happened. A week later I took the train about three months old, and brought them back to where
to New York, with this little canary yellow trunk that I had I was staying. I didn’t have an apartment of my own, but I
hidden under the bed, with five outfits in it, $600 and a TV told Sylvia that I’d get an apartment the next day—during
still in the box. My mother took me to the train station, and those days you could do that. So I did. We lived happily for
we hugged and kissed goodbye.
three years. To this day we still see each other.
Meeting other gay women in clubs was just
She still calls me.
amazing. I went every Friday night. (I went out
What would you like others to know about
dancing most every night—I was young!) You
you?
went to the thrift store to buy outfits, beI’ve lived with lupus for over 50 years. I feel
cause the group called the “Village People”
healthy and I’m excited about that. I owe my good
was out in the late ‘70s, and that’s what you
health to my doctors whom I talk to and ask many
dressed like. Everybody was a costumed
questions. I use their advice to come up with my
somebody. I always went as a cowboy Barbara Abra
own
solutions. I’m also in a lupus support group at
ms,1961
because I loved Annie Oakley. She was a
Long Island University.
cowgirl and she didn’t need anybody. I wanted to be
What is your favorite:
like Mary Tyler Moore and Annie Oakley—not like Miss Color—earth tones
Kitty [from TV’s Gunsmoke]. She had too many problems Food–chicken with pasta
with men.
Song—“Guess Who I Saw Today” by Nancy Wilson
I found an apartment and got a job working in a firm on Performer–Beyoncé
Wall Street trading stocks. I had no college degree, but at Movie—Albert Nobbs, with Glenn Close, which is about a
that time if you were knowledgeable, sensible and could do woman that passed as a man to get a job as a butler in a
the job, you got the job.
very posh hotel in 19th century Ireland.
When I felt established enough I sent for my mother. She said, “So, when are you going to have some babies
for me, sweetheart?” I said, “Mommy, I’m never going to
have babies because I’m a lesbian. I like women.” And she
said, “Oh Lord have mercy, Bobbie Gene [that’s what I was
called in the South]! You can’t just go around having sex all
the time.” And I said, “Mommy, I haven’t had sex yet. But I
like women. So I’m not going to have any kids.” Because
that was the way it was at that time—with no freezing the
SAVE THE DATE!
eggs and having a baby and doing a background check on
GRIOT’s Annual Thanksgiving Dinner
the sperm donor. It just wasn’t part of the life yet. I said, “If
Saturday, November 23rd.
you want grandchildren, ask Lamar [my brother], because I
6:30 P.M. – 10:30 P.M.
won’t be doing that.” I was good enough to keep her stable,
The Commons Brooklyn
if she needed new tires for the car or a new car or if the
388 Atlantic Ave. Brooklyn NY
door on the oven was broken. I always worked overtime,
Seating is limited — RSVP today!
so I had a lot of money to give my mother. She was very
VOLUNTEERS WELCOME
happy, and that made me happy.
What memories are strongest about your life as a
4
PROFILE: Volunteer
JOHN VAZQUEZ
I was feeling at a loss, with nobody to really talk to. GRIOT
seemed like an opportunity to meet new people, and a
place to go where I could just relax and be myself.
Can you say a word or two that describes GRIOT?
Very embracing. A lot of people were very embracing.
Unfortunately some of those people passed away, but they
had an impact that was very positive.
What was coming out like for you?
John Vazquez – handling the front desk at GRIOT
Interview by Elly Bulkin
What’s been your involvement with GRIOT?
I started off as a member. I was watching In the Life on
TV and there was a little story about GRIOT. So I looked
up the phone number and they said, “Come on down.”
The young lady who answered the phone said she’d give
me a packet. There was clubhouse there at the Y— it was
much larger then. I started meeting people little by little and getting involved. At first, I joined the woodcarving
class, and I’d answer the phones occasionally. Then I started working with another member and volunteer who did
movie night once a month and game night once a month
— on Fridays and Saturdays.
As a volunteer, I mainly answer the phones and I make
phone calls to let people know what events are coming up
for the month. Or I just check up on them. They’re elders
and people need to know they’re OK.
What is your favorite GRIOT activity or program?
Woodcarving and book club, though I haven’t recently
been part of book club. I love to read. Woodcarving is
something I got into. I’d never done it but I learned that
I can do it. I like the creative outlet of carving a piece of
wood—take a piece of wood, come up with a design and
go from there. I did a box and also an Egyptian head which
has taken me two and a half years. I also did an Egyptian
vulture. I’m slow but steady. (Note to readers: Woodcarving classes with instructor Don Quigley are open to all
– beginners welcomed).
What is especially important to you about GRIOT?
I was living for 10 years in Kansas City where I worked
at the theater. I retired because of health reasons. Otherwise I would have stayed there. When I came back to
New York a lot of my friends had disappeared. I felt lonely
because the few people I could get a hold of were busy. So
I was born in 1948 and grew up in Brooklyn. I always
knew I was different. I just didn’t know what it was. I do
remember being attracted to males, but didn’t think it was
unusual, especially watching ballet and watching the men
run around in tights. I wasn’t thinking sexual. I was just
thinking that I like what I see. I even used to buy the muscle magazines at one time—way before they got really
grotesque.
I didn’t know other boys in Williamsburg who had the
same feelings. I had no connection with anybody who was
that way and no one I could talk to. It wasn’t until I was
15 when I had my first sexual encounter. There was one
person who was about my age, and we fooled around, but
we didn’t really have sex, and that was just one or two
times. And there was one other kid. I saw myself as a good
person, regardless of what anybody would say. I grew up
Catholic and there’s always a thing that it’s a sin and I said,
“If it’s a sin, why do I feel OK?”
It was some years later before I got involved with
somebody again. A friend of mine mentioned the name
of a club, and I realized he was gay. He said, “You didn’t
know?” “No,” I said. “Well,” he said, “I knew about you!”
So he took me to this club named Stage 45 that used to be
on the East Side, and that’s where I had my first grown-up
encounter. Fortunately for me the person I met was nice.
We saw each other a few times. He wasn’t looking for a
relationship, but he was someone I could spend time with.
What memories are strongest about your life as a
gay man?
I was in a club that got raided right after Stonewall, an
underground club in a basement in the Village. I was with
some friends who took me to this place. We knocked on
the door, and there’s this beautiful club. And, it got raided.
The police said, “We’ll get you out of here and send you
home.” It was a lie. They arrested us all. They had a paddy
wagon standing outside, and they took us to the 10th Precinct. They had to put us in these large rooms, because
there were too many of us to put in cells.
One person panicked because he was not from this
country and he didn’t want to get thrown out of the
country. He ran up the stairs and jumped out of a window. When he fell, he landed on a spiked fence. He didn’t
get killed, but he was in very bad shape. I could hear him
5
screaming as the paramedics worked to get him off the
fence. It was horrible. Because of that we didn’t get out of
there until dawn. We all had to go to court later on. I met
someone in the precinct who took me home to meet his
roommate (or lover). They called an emergency meeting
of the Gay Activist Alliance,so I went to the meeting and
told my story.
I started going to meetings for a while, but I had to get
out of there because unfortunately they were not particularly embracing of everybody. So I stopped going. I was
a member for a few years. That was a big change for me. I
would be involved, but I’d never go out on the street. That
just wasn’t me. Being from a Latin family (first-generation
Puerto Rican), I knew there was no way I was prepared to
deal with demonstrations and marches. But I did whatever
else I could. I helped put together dances to bring people
in who weren’t members and to help the organization.
They even had me be a go-go boy for one dance. I was
much smaller then, so I could do that.
What would you like others to know about you?
I took some classes at the Fashion Institute of Technology. That helped when I worked in the theater making
costumes. I love to read and go to the movies. I collect
dolls—I have a lot of fashion dolls.
I was born with an extreme case of club feet. My father’s
union took care of medical bills. The hospital that specialized in orthopedic surgery was in Brooklyn Heights at the
time, and it saved my life. I don’t know what my life would
have been like. I had eight or nine surgeries as a baby and
one more when I was 12. I had casts on both legs and
broke cribs with them. My mother was dealing with my
older sister who had measles and scarlet fever at the same
time and was brain-damaged. My mother had to take her
and carry me to get to the hospital.
What is your favorite:
Color—red (but also blue)
Food—my mother’s pork roast with rice and pigeon
peas, fried plantains, and apple pie
Performer—Fred Astaire
Book—The Old Man and the Sea
Movie—Now Voyager
BOARD
Board Chair
Franciene Forte
Treasurer
Rev. Janyce Jackson
Secretary
Don Kao
Juan Battle
Marion Murdaugh
Joy Silver
Beverly Tillery
Tony Whitfield
STAFF
Executive Director
Katherine Acey
Fiscal Manager
Tony McPhatter
Administrative Assistant
Dior Punsammy
BUDDY-2-BUDDY
MEMBER COORDINATING
COMMITTEE
Sande Hines
Betty Johnson
Idell Small
GROUP FACILITATORS
Book Club
Gherri Davis
Women’s Group
Suhir “Black Eagle” Jones
Wood Carving
Don Quigley
HIV-Men Over 50
Robert Waldron
OFFICE VOLUNTEERS
Barbara Abrams
John Vazquez
Chancer Lloyd
GRIOT Circle, Inc.
25 Flatbush Avenue
5th Floor
Brooklyn, NY 11217
P: 718-246-2775
F: 718-246-2572
E: [email protected]
www.griotcircle.org
What is Buddy-2-Buddy?
Buddy-2-Buddy is a program designed to bring LGBT
elders the care, companionship and community
that they need by pairing them together in relationships
of mutual respect and support. Buddies are matched
based on their interests and needs, and are free to develop their friendships in ways they choose.
What do Buddies do together?
Buddies engage in a variety of activities including:
• Regular telephone calls
• Hospital visits
• Watching movies & listening to music
• Attending GRIOT parties & events
• Accompanying each other to the doctor, pharmacy, grocery store, etc.
Common Questions
Can. I have more than one Buddy?
Yes! Many participants have several Buddies.
Is Buddy-2-Buddy a dating service?
No.
Are there any requirements to be a Buddy?
Caring, compassionate, and responsible
How do I become a Buddy?
email: [email protected]
Call us at 718-246-2775 for more information.
6
GRIOT’s BOARD—Welcome to Our New Members
JUAN BATTLE is a Professor of Sociology, Public
Health, & Urban Education at the Graduate Center of
the City University of New York (C.U.N.Y.). He is also
the Coordinator of the Africana Studies Certificate
Program.
He is heading the Social Justice Sexuality initiative, a
project that explores the lived experiences of Black,
Latina/o, and Asian lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender people in the United States and Puerto Rico.
Additionally, he is developing a project examining college
JOY SILVER is the Chief Strategy Officer at Choices Women’s
Medical Center in Queens, New York. She is a noted speaker and
multi-media personality on issues of Diversity and Healthcare in
Senior Living.
In December 2011 she spoke on the first LGBT HUD panel in
Washington DC, and presented for the 2013 American Planning
Association entitled “Addressing the Needs of LGBT Seniors”.
Silver is the President/CEO and founding principal and visionary for RainbowVision Properties, Inc. She secured financing,
developed, built and operated RainbowVision, the world’s first
LGBT senior living community which also offered assisted living.
Silver’s mission-driven vision for seniors led her to create the
non-profit Emerald City Foundation which granted funds for fi-
progression among Black men and other vulnerable populations.
Battle is a recent Fulbright Senior Specialist and was the
Fulbright Distinguished Chair of Gender Studies at the
University of Klagenfurt, Institute for Gender Austria;
and is an Affiliate Faculty of Gender and
Development Studies (IGDS), The University of the
West Indies, St. Augustine, Trinidad and Tobago. He is a
former President of the Association of Black Sociologists.
nancial emergencies supporting local LGBT
people over the age of 62.
Silver served as two-term board
member for both LAIN (Lesbian
and Gay Aging Issues Network) of
the American Society for Aging,
and the LGBT Historical Society,
San Francisco, California. Additionally,
she was a spokesperson for Equality
California and Equality New Mexico and
led the LGBT Healthcare Committee for
Equality New Mexico. In 2009 she was named Go Magazine’s
Top Ten Lesbian Entrepreneurs of the Year.
BEVERLY TILLERY is the Director of Community
Education and Advocacy for Lambda Legal, the oldest and largest national legal organization committed to achieving
full recognition of the civil rights of lesbians, gay men,
bisexuals, transgender people and people with HIV.
For the past twenty years Tillery has dedicated her
career to fighting all forms of oppression and working for social and economic justice through community-based direct action organizing, labor
organizing, human rights and political advocacy and
popular education. She coordinated the Immigrant Worker
Rights Project at the New York Coalition of Occupational Safety
and Health; worked as the Outreach Coordinator at Amnesty International developing a national field organizing program;
and lead a campaign at the Service Employees International Union to help healthcare workers form a
union. She has designed and facilitated hundreds
of trainings and workshops on a variety of subjects.Tillery served as the Board President of the
National Organizers Alliance, a national organization of social justice organizers.
She lives with her partner Roz Lee and their daughter Stella in Manhattan.
TONY WHITFIELD is an artist,
designer and educator who has written
about art, new media, film, performance and design.
His work has been shown internationally in solo and group exhibitions.
Whitfield is Director of Social
Engagement at Parsons, The New
School for Design and is also an Associate Professor and the
former Chair of the Product Design Department.
He has served as Senior Policy Analyst for Cultural Affairs in
the Office of the Manhattan Borough President, as well as Associate Director of Lower Manhattan Cultural Council, Program
Director at Just Above Midtown Gallery, and Director of Printed
Matter, Inc.
What’s Up!
7
ACTIVITIES & PROGRAMS 2013
Joint Luncheon with GRIOT,
Brooklyn Community Pride Center, and SAGE
GRIOT Annual Picnic at Prospect Park
Front Row from right: Cephas Grasty and two guests
Back row: Rachel Williams and Pat Carter
From left: Robert Waldron, Norman Green, guest and Rodney
Adams
NYC Black Pride Salute to Our Seniors (GRIOT members and staff)
Back row: Robert Waldron, Freddie Wright and guest, Rev. Janyce
Jackson, Barbara Abrams, Don Quigley, Dior Punsammy, Kaz Mitchell,
Chancer Lloyd Front row: Nicole En-Carnacion, Ruby Hodge
“The Repurposed Woman” Six Week Series
Back row from left: Idell Small, Jozette Clark, Cheryl Clark,Tony McPhatter, Suhir
“Black Eagle” Jones (group facilitator), Liz Boyd
Second row from left: Barbara Abrams, Ruby Hodge, Dotty Roberts, Gloria Walls,
Annette Fearon, Sande Hines, Paula Johnson, and Chancer Lloyd
Cheryl Clark and Sandie Green,
Prospect Park
Health Resource!
Excerpted from: http://plantbasedonabudget.com/7-ways-to-eat-goodwhile-on-a-hood-budget-by-stic-of-dead-prez/
7 Ways to Eat Good While on a Hood Budget
The following are 7 Ways to Eat Good While on a Hood Budget. But bottom line always remember, we can pay now or
pay later (in suffering and doctor bills etc) when it comes to
our dietary discipline and choices.
1. Choose Produce not Packages: People think eating healthy
is about buying a lot of expensive boxes and packages of processed foods, but that isn’t the case at all.
2. Cook Big and Save Some for Later: Cooking meals in large
batches and freezing the leftovers for later in the week or
month can save you a lot of time and money.
3. Soup Up Your Options: Large vegetable soups over brown
rice or whole grain noodles pack in vitamins and nutrients, fill
you up and are easy to make and delicious. Also Bean burritos,
chili, and bean soup can be easy to prepare, cheap and good for
you. Going totally meatless a couple of times a week (or for
good) also helps your budget and gives your palate a variety
to enjoy. Frozen veggies, which are inexpensive, work great in
Soups. Nothing compares to that good and filling, good feeling
of a hot and hearty bowl of Soup. Cheap, packed with nutrients,
easy to prepare. Its the new “Soup-er” food! Lol!
GRIOT Circle, Inc.
GRIOT Circle
a gathering of elders
25 Flatbush Ave., Flr 5
Brooklyn, NY 11217
4. Make A Plan and See Where Ya Values Are: In the hood, in
all honesty, we spend a gang of money on cable, hairdos, sneakers, weed, parties expensive bottles of alcohol, video games,
big screen TVs, rims, jewelry, strip club tricking, trendy name
brand clothes, car accessories, headphones, cigarettes all kinds
of overpriced things. But when it comes to our health, we often
skimp and look for the cheapest food we can find.
5. Season your Food: Eat fruits and vegetables that are in season, that is! Otherwise you’ll be paying a much higher price. For
example, if you live in the northeast United States and you want
some watermelon in the middle of the Winter of December,
it’s gonna have to be shipped from where ever it is in season to
your local market and you pay that extra cost.Also, eating foods
that are current in their natural growing season helps strengthen your immune system for that season. Seasonal fruits can be
frozen and blended to smoothies. Frozen vegetables also can be
used to make a stir fry. They’re convenient and they don’t spoil
quickly like fresh fruits and veggies.
6. Join a Co-op or Local Community Garden: You get discounts on your groceries by being a member of grocery store
co-ops. In exchange for your minimal volunteer work hours per
month, you get your groceries at Co-op member’s only price.
Same thing goes for community gardens. And not only that you
get to learn a WHOLE lot about nutrition and health being in
that kind of environment.
7. Drink More Water: Many times we think we are hungry, it
may be actually a sign of thirst.