LEADERSHIP
Transcription
LEADERSHIP
G-6945Leadership 6/6/06 1:49 PM Page 1 Y LEADERSHIP Vision, Commitment, Action Tim Lautzenheiser G-6945Leadership 6/6/06 1:49 PM Page 2 Contents Foreword . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 3 Introduction . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 4 Letter to Student Leaders . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 5 Leadership Truths—Part 1 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 6 The Penalty of Leadership. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 9 Ten Characteristics of High-Quality Leaders . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 10 Winners and Losers. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 12 Goals and Personal Inventory. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 13 Getting Down to Work. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 14 Problems or Possibilities . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 15 Individual Goals . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 16 Letter to Myself . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 17 Character Traits of a Student Leader. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 18 A Paradigm Shift for Today’s Leaders . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 19 The Personal Values of Student Leaders . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 20 I Went on a Search to Become a Leader . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 21 Leadership Truths—Part II . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 22 Notes. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 28 Leadership: Vision, Commitment, Action Tim Lautzenheiser GIA Publications, Inc. 7404 S. Mason Ave., Chicago 60638 Copyright © 2006 GIA Publications, Inc. All rights reserved. Printed in the United States of America Cover photo by www.gettyimages.com G-6945 ISBN-10: 1-57999-607-8 ISBN-13: 1-978-57999-607-9 2 G-6945Leadership 6/6/06 1:49 PM Page 3 Foreword Is leadership learned or innate? And if it is learned, can it be taught? Controversial questions such as these have haunted the discipline of leadership probably since the time of Alexander the Great (if not well before). As Tim Lautzenheiser wisely understood decades ago, everyone possesses a hereditary capacity to lead, and that capacity is enhanced through training. Thus was born Leadership: Vision, Commitment, Action, Tim’s most recent dynamic contribution to the genre. Tim realized that just as the success of an English course isn’t rated on its ability to nurture the next Hemingway, a Leadership Series’ main goal is not necessarily to generate a Lincoln, Gandhi, or Churchill. Instead, a democratic society is founded on the bedrock principle that the entire community benefits from educating its population, just as an entire organization benefits from nurturing its members consistently and systemically to produce individual leaders. Leadership: Vision, Commitment, Action is a brilliant, step-by-step recipe for leadership development. Characterized by uncommon eloquence, it vividly reflects Tim’s singular and passionately held views on this topic, combined with the vast knowledge and experience he has gained during his unmatched twenty-five-year track record for successfully teaching leaders of all ages. Lau Tzu stated, “A leader is one who serves.” This is a concept embodied in every aspect of Tim’s life, his work, and his writing and imbued in every page of this magnificent and meaningful book. —Michael Kumer Executive Director, Nonprofit Leadership Institute at Duquesne University 3 G-6945Leadership 6/6/06 1:49 PM Page 4 Introduction Welcome to Tim Lautzenheiser’s recent contribution to the field of student leadership. Leadership: Vision, Commitment, Action is certain to become a valuable requisite resource for all aspiring young leaders who are dedicated to creating a culture of excellence. The following pages are filled with tried-and-true suggestions guaranteed to add positive forward progress to all organizations in reaching their given goals. Tim’s relentless pursuit of effective and efficient leadership training serves as a standard for everyone. His popular workshop presentations continue to explore the key elements of leadership success. Many of those discovered fundamentals for goal attainment are within this text. We are very proud to have Tim serve as Executive Director of Education for Conn-Selmer, Inc. His vision and his guidance are integral parts of our corporate mission statement. “Dr. Tim” is a man who walks his talk; he truly is an exemplary role model of selfless leadership in action. It is with much enthusiasm that I invite you to wrap your minds and your hearts around this very special gift written by my respected colleague and dear friend; lifelong benefits await those who embrace of the wisdom of this master teacher. —John Stoner President/CEO, Conn-Selmer, Inc. 4 G-6945Leadership 6/6/06 1:49 PM Page 5 Letter to Student Leaders GREETINGS! Welcome to the elusive and challenging journey of LEADERSHIP. You have chosen the road less traveled, and you are to be congratulated for taking this crucially important first step in a lifelong pathway of self-discovery. For the last three decades I have enjoyed the opportunity of working with student leaders throughout the world; the experience has served as the basis for the information within this leadership manual. The introductory data are certainly not conclusive, however, this handbook will offer some helpful suggestions as you pursue your own leadership development. Rest assured, every individual has the wherewithal to become a leader. Leaders are not born; leaders are the product of a disciplined commitment to LEARNING, GROWING, and BECOMING. Leadership is not something you do; leadership is something you are. This is not a book you should read from beginning to end and then put on the shelf. Rather, it is an ongoing study that is adaptable and relevant to your personal wants and needs. Flip to any page, and you will find valuable leadership concepts that will help you deal with daily challenges. Thank you for going the extra mile, thank you for realizing the importance of dedicated leadership, thank you for believing in your unlimited ability to make a positive difference, and thank you for investing in your most important commodity—YOUR FUTURE. Best wishes for leadership success! —Tim Lautzenheiser President, Attitude Concepts, Inc. 5 G-6945Leadership 6/6/06 1:49 PM Y Page 6 Leadership T r u t h s PartI If you let other people do it for you, they will do it to you. We move toward what we picture in our minds. Learn to take individual responsibility for yourself, and don’t trust others more than you trust yourself. Trust yourself! Happy people live in happy worlds, and negative people live in negative worlds, and it’s all the same world. Visualization is a proven technique that takes practice. The harder I work, the luckier I get. Luck is a reflection of who you are. Lucky people have an attitude of good luck. It is self-created. We become what we think about all the time. The mind always leads us in the direction of our most dominant thoughts. 99% responsibility doesn’t work. Close doesn’t count. Real leaders carry everything to the end. Their lives are about constant completion, to the nth degree! Yesterday was the deadline for all complaints. Real leaders do not have time to complain. They use the energy to solve problems, not to identify them. Anybody can identify problems; the leader’s job is to fix them. Good leaders are scarce, so I’m following myself. You have to bring into the context the importance of who you are. Take responsibility for who you are. If you don’t like it, change! We can only pass onto others what we have. Demand the best of yourself. The things that come to those who wait, may be the things left by those who get there first. Take initiative. Don’t sit back and wait for it to happen. Be assertive, not aggressive. Stand up for what you believe in. There is no growth without discontent. The road to leadership is very rough. It will hurt, and you will learn through the hurt. One must risk in order to grow. It never ends. 6 People who believe things can’t be done will go out and prove they are right. You can be right or happy. What is silly is there is no right or wrong. It’s all just a human label to describe a condition Real leaders are the cause, not the effect. You are not waiting for it to happen to you. You make it happen for you. Positive environments are created and fed daily. Learn to create, not compete. Competition, when used to beat someone else, will ultimately destroy you. You compete for selfimprovement. Create through your efforts; creation is a constant process. G-6945Leadership 6/6/06 1:49 PM Page 7 Leadership Truths L All unhappiness is caused by comparison. Anger is one letter short of danger. Real leaders do not compare. They support and create. No two things are exactly alike. Enjoy individuality. Real leaders will not fuss and fume. It’s wasted energy. They will use the energy to make things better. Always solving! Watch out for that temper. It burns too many bridges. Ultimately, it burns up the individual and becomes the source of burnout. e The biggest lie on the planet: When I get what I want, I will be happy. Pleasing others has no guarantees of reciprocal gifts. Simply do things for other people because you love them. That’s all. The process of leadership is what counts. Enjoy the process. a partI It is not enough to aim; you must hit the target. So when you miss, don’t give up; keep firing. You will eventually hit. All great leaders have failed several times. The minute you choose not to fail, you also choose not to lead. Your success is measured by your ability to complete things. Leaders always make sure everything is completed. They don’t leave things undone. Complete, complete, complete, and then complete some more. Leaving work for others to finish reflects an obvious lack of responsibility. d You can be happy or you can be justified; you can’t be both. Justification is about being right. Leaders want results, not proof that they are right. This is part of the responsibility of being a leader. Wouldn’t you rather follow a happy leader? e If you think something outside yourself is the cause of your problem, you will look outside yourself for the answer. Most advice is worth what it costs… That’s why people drink, do drugs, commit suicide, blame, seek revenge, etc. The leader constantly looks within for solutions. There is no shortcut. r If you give up the need for security, you will be secure (paradox). nothing! The only thing that is real is experience. That’s why you must continue to explore and be willing to be hurt. Never do anything that would harm you or someone else, but reach out; don’t pull back. Get to the front and lead the pack. Lead! If you want to be safe, don’t be a leader. Leaders risk. They gamble; sometimes they win, and lots of times they lose. The only true security is self-peace. 7 1:49 PM Page 8 We lose what we don’t use. This includes intellect, health, the capability to make decisions, talents, leadership skills, communication skills, etc. If you and your friends always agree, one of you is unnecessary. Love and agreement have nothing to do with one another. Our likenesses bring us together, but our differences keep us together. Appreciate the differences. If you want to make an enemy, try to change someone. Allow people to be who they are. Quit making judgments about them. Allow things to simply be. Leaders don’t have time to create enemies; this takes energy away from serving others. Not to decide is to decide. The worst decision is always no decision. Make a choice! Even if it is a wrong decision, you can correct it. Indecision prevents growth. Leadership Truths partI When your ship comes in, make sure you are willing to unload it. Once you are in a leadership position, be sure you are willing to take on the responsibility. It’s tough. You will never know what is in store until you take a leadership position. Hard work works! The best way to escape from your problems is to solve them. Quit waiting for your problems to work themselves out. Create some forward progress, and go for it! The “good fairy” will not drop by. Almost all problems require communication. Whom do you need to communicate with? Be honest. We weaken whatever we exaggerate. If at first you don’t succeed, you are normal. You are going to mess up a lot. The more you mess up, the better the chances you have of hitting. The only way to truly fail is to not participate— which is really quitting. Don’t quit! Lead, follow, or get out of the way. This is good to remember as you are working with people. One of the greatest forms of leadership is being a model follower. Live as though it is your last day on earth; someday it will be. All we are really sure of is now. Enjoy it. We take so much for granted. Leadership is a privilege—be thankful for your leadership opportunity, and don’t abuse it. Real leaders do not lie. They tell it like it is and avoid all personal hurt to others in the process. Bending the truth is a form of lying. Truth always wins. ogether. t l l a ve it a what it is, and move f h r ccept orw e A . l v a rd e i va r n . r a a t n c ll y e f t f h a i i ng un n’t an a c t w t e i l we no u d, w acc g oo Yo ocess, ep t t ’ n f Li pr sa i e ve 6/6/06 n w n he t sa ng i h Ye s, e G-6945Leadership 8 re wh at i s. G-6945Leadership 6/6/06 1:49 PM Page 9 The Penalty of Leadership In every field of human endeavor, he that is first must perpetually live in the white light of publicity. Whether the leadership be vested in a man or in a manufactured product, emulation and envy are ever at work. In art, in literature, in music, in industry, the reward and the punishment are always the same. The reward is widespread recognition; the punishment, fierce denial and detraction. When a man’s work becomes a standard for the whole world, it also becomes a target for the shafts of the envious few. If his work be merely mediocre, he will be left severely alone—if he achieve a masterpiece, it will set a million tongues a-wagging. Jealousy does not protrude its forked tongue at the artist who produces a commonplace painting. Whatsoever you write, or paint, or play, or sing, or build, no one will strive to surpass, or to slander you, unless your work be stamped with the seal of genius. Long, long after a great work or a good work has been done, those who are disappointed or envious continue to cry out that it cannot be done. Spiteful little voices in the domain of art were raised against our own Whistler as a mountebank, long after the big world had acclaimed him its greatest artistic genius. Multitudes flocked to Bayreuth to worship at the musical shrine of Wagner, while the little group of those whom he had dethroned and displaced argued angrily that he was no musician at all. The little world continued to protest that Fulton could never build a steamboat, while the big world flocked to the river banks to see his boat steam by. The leader is assailed because he is a leader, and the effort to equal him is merely added proof of that leadership. Failing to equal or to excel, the follower seeks to depreciate and to destroy—but only confirms once more the superiority of that which he strives to supplant. There is nothing new in this. It is as old as the world and as old as the human passions—envy, fear, greed, ambition, and the desire to surpass. And it all avails nothing. If the leader truly leads, he remains the leader. Master-poet, master-painter, master-workman, each in his turn is assailed, and each holds his laurels through the ages. That which is good or great makes itself known, no matter how loud the clamor of denial. That which deserves to live—lives. —from an advertisement in the Saturday Evening Post, January 2, 1915; from the Cadillac Motor Car Division 9 G-6945Leadership 6/6/06 1:49 PM Page 10 High energy level: Because leaders are often asked to go the extra mile, it is important that they have a high level of energy to maintain a busy schedule, deal with last-minute duties, and be the hardest worker of their group. The followers rarely will outwork the leader. The leader sets the pace. Know how to listen: Listening is such an important secret to success. Not only is it important in taking instruction, but it is mandatory in working with others. Listeners are few in number, and we all appreciate someone who has time for us. A great rule of leaders: keep your mouth shut and your ears and brain open. Exude self-confidence: A role model can teach much more than a teacher. A leader can become a role model if he or she gains the respect of his or her followers with self-confidence. No one wants to follow someone who lacks self-confidence. We want secure and assured leaders paving the way for us. High level of integrity: Leaders understand the ultimate importance of truth. They will always use complete honesty as the basis for any and all of their choices. Any deviation from this will ultimately endanger the group. Sensitive to others: Truly great leaders operate from a position of we-us rather than I-me. They are integral parts of their groups. They constantly avoid a posture of being over the other person, but rather put themselves in the followers’ positions and accommodate their needs. They sense the mood of the group as well as the individuals, and this atmosphere is of constant concert in their leadership capacity. Willing to fail: Leaders know that they are human. They are quick to admit their mistakes and equally quick to correct them. They never push the blame on any unsuspecting scapegoat, but they realize there is more strength in truth than in looking right at another’s expense. 10 G-6945Leadership 6/6/06 1:49 PM Page 11 High energy level Sense of humor: Although there has to be a disciplined focus on the goal, it is often necessary to lighten up and allow the followers a chance to relax, laugh, and then get back in Know how to listen action. Humor and silliness are not the same. Humor supports forward motion, while silliness restricts it. Exude self-confidence Exemplify optimism: Leaders do not react with undue trauma to problems but realize that within every problem lies an opportunity for growth and forward progress. They welcome k High level of integrity problems as a chance to test their leadership and gain self-improvement. Avoid comparison games: Sensitive to others Leaders realize that most comparison stems from insecurity. Their goal is not to be better than someone else, but rather to be the best that they Willing to fail can be. This allows the group to be the best that it can be. Competition turns into cooperation, and all competitive spirit is used to improve the situation for everyone. Caring and sharing: Sense of humor True leaders will never hurt intentionally, even though they k k Exemplify optimism understand there will be times when individual wishes will be overlooked in favor of the group’s welfare. They understand that part of leadership is taking some of the heat from those unpopular Avoid comparison games decisions, and they accept this responsibility with strength and dignity. Their sense of caring is ultimate, and their willingness to share every ounce of talent and ability is top priority in Caring and sharing their actions. 11 G-6945Leadership 6/6/06 1:49 PM Page 12 WINNERS correct their mistakes before other people notice them. WINNERS work hard to attain excellence. WINNERS know that there is no “I” in team. WINNERS are self-confident and avoid comparing themselves to others. WINNERS know that more love, not things, is the key to success and happiness. Losers provide excuses for their mistakes instead of correcting them. Losers try to justify their behavior to inflate their sagging self-images. Losers tend to be cynical and suspicious. Losers deny the desire they have to win. Losers have trouble loving themselves. 12 G-6945Leadership 6/6/06 1:49 PM Page 13 Goals and Personal Inventory Dream: Write down five things you would like to accomplish as a leader by this time next year. 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. Plan: 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. Next, write down five things that you want to accomplish as a leader by next week. Work: Finally, write down five things you want to do as a leader by tomorrow. 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. Now, in order to accomplish what I want as a leader, I need to take a personal inventory of my strengths and weaknesses so that I can get down to work. 13 G-6945Leadership 6/6/06 1:49 PM Page 14 Getting down to Work My five strengths as a leader are: 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. My five weaknesses as a leader are: 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. The quality I respect most in a leader is: The quality I respect least in a leader is: What I fear most about being a leader is: 14 G-6945Leadership 6/6/06 1:49 PM 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. Page 15 PROBLEMS or Possibilities The five steps to solving any problems are: (written in cooperation with Steve Hoernemann) Recognize/Clarify Define the problem: Outline the parameters of the problem. Decide how you would like the parameters of the problem to change. Analyze Soak up ideas about the problem: Put yourself in someone else’s shoes. Decide how you would like the parameters of the problem to change. Create Determine a direction to solve the problem: Decide what, if anything, you are going to do about the problem. Follow the direction you’ve chosen, at least initially. Implement Try it out: Test the direction and remain flexible with it. Be willing to risk. Realize and accept the insecurities you will need to deal with along the way. Reevaluate Did it work? Question whether the direction you took worked. Be honest in your evaluation of the direction. Decide what needs to change for the direction to be more successful. 15 G-6945Leadership 6/6/06 1:49 PM Page 16 Individual Goals Being a leader is not a part-time job. Look over your personal inventory. What drives you to become a leader? What are your goals for the group? How would you describe your tone of voice? What methods do you use to get everyone’s attention? What is your track record in achieving goals? Who are your mentors, and what do you admire about them? What negative mannerisms do you try to avoid? What leadership qualities would you like to develop or strengthen? 16 G-6945Leadership 6/6/06 1:49 PM Page 17 Letter to Myself Name: ____________________________________________________________________ Address: __________________________________________________________________ Phone:__________________________________________ Today’s date:____________ The next time I read this it will be approximately one month from now. I will have accomplished the following during that time: __________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________ Signature: 17 G-6945Leadership 6/6/06 1:49 PM Page 18 Character Traits of a Student Leader Student leaders should be: Selfless Always take the time to help those around you. This important trait—consideration for others—can be observed before and after rehearsals. persistent Tenacity is an attribute necessary for attaining excellence at any discipline. Many people will begin a new endeavor with a sense of positive enthusiasm, but student leaders need to “complete” their assigned responsibilities. We are not measured by what we begin but by what we complete. Consistent You are at a time in your lives when you are establishing personal habits and life values; you are truly deciding “who you are.” Dreams, goals, and desires can shift radically from one day to the next. Students set themselves apart by being predictable and demonstrating emotional stability, the ability to “stay the course.” affable Being a gifted musician is an important quality for students leaders. However, it is also vital for the student leader to have a healthy rapport with the other members of the organization. Popularity aside, you must be recognized and respected by the majority of the group. honest Slighting the truth is commonplace. Anyone who avoids the temptation to exaggerate or embellish the truth and is willing to accept the consequences that often accompany honesty is a rare commodity. Everyone will benefit from being in the presence of a person who demonstrates such personal integrity. Faithful and Loyal “United we stand, divided we fall.” This well-worn phrase is still classic advice for every leader. At this stage of leadership, commitment to the group is mandatory and any disagreements or issues should be dealt with behind closed doors and in strict confidentiality. These six personality traits are only a starting point; however, these traits establish a strong foundation for the selection and qualifications of any student leader. 18 G-6945Leadership 6/6/06 1:49 PM Page 19 A Paradigm Shift for Today’s Leaders The entire realm of leadership training has taken a dramatic shift over the past three decades or so. The strong-armed approach to leadership success has given way to the concept of allowing the follower to become an invested contributor to the overall mission. There is a greater emphasis on intrinsic motivation rather than using extrinsic rewards as a means to individual or group achievement. The cornerstones of this paradigm shift emphasize a win-win concept embracing both the requirements of the project responsibilities and the welfare of the people involved. This philosophical shift diminishes the power struggle often associated with the traditional positioning, turf protection, rank-and-file status, etc. To find success in this modern-day blueprint of leadership style, these four laws of leadership must be understood and integrated into every decision and serve as the foundational blocks of contemporary leadership. People are more important than titles. The focal point remains on the welfare of the people involved. Leaders constantly monitor the overall attitude of the group, ensuring a sense of mutual understanding and synergistic effort based on individual and group commitment to focus on the agreed objectives. We can’t lead others until we lead ourselves. Role modeling plays a vital part in the leader’s ongoing communication with the members of the organization. While delegation is still an important aspect of the process, the leader sets the pace by demonstrating the expectations and the standards desired to achieve positive results. The most effective form of leadership is positive role modeling. Leaders are measured by what they give. Leadership is an opportunity to give to those who are part of the group, organization, or ensemble. The position of leadership is a license to help all those who are part of the forum. If there is not a measured contribution to the forward progress of the group, the value of the leader is diminished to the point of being “merely a title carrier.” Leaders assume total responsibility. When something goes awry, the leader immediately assumes the responsibility for the breakdown rather than pointing the finger of blame at anyone else. The welfare of the followers is primary in every facet of the leader’s agenda. Adapting this new leadership consciousness to any musical ensemble offers the players a greater opportunity to “own the group” and accept the responsibilities for the positive growth and development of the organization. Everyone wins. 19 G-6945Leadership 6/6/06 1:49 PM Page 20 The Personal Values of a Student Leader Leadership is made up of two philosophical components: 1. Leadership is for giving. 2. Leadership is forgiving. Many people see a leadership position as the chance to be in charge, to tell others what to do, to delegate work, and to put themselves in a posture of authority. Nothing could be further from the truth. The essence lies in the leader’s ability to serve others, to create success for the people in the organization. It is the opportunity to give, to contribute, to roll up one’s sleeves and begin moving in a positive, forward direction. Whether it is straightening the chairs, putting the stands away, creating a colorful bulletin board, or working with someone on a musical passage, the leader is the person who does the task at hand. A leader does “what needs to be done, when it needs to be done, whether he or she wants to do it or not, without anybody asking.” The second aspect of leadership centers on the concept of forgiving. When something goes awry (and it will), many leaders want to react to the situation by reprimanding the followers for their inability to fulfill their suggestions. However, the true leader will forgive the people involved and proactively refocus his or her energies to correct the problem and quickly get back on course. Psychologically (and intellectually) we know that people do not get better when they are made to feel worse. All too often, there is a tendency for young leaders to chastise those who fall short on the given assignment; nothing could be more detrimental to the trusting relationship necessary for future success in any leader/follower relationship. The solution is simple: forgive, correct, and proceed forward. 20 G-6945Leadership 6/6/06 1:49 PM Page 21 I Went on a Search to Become a Leader I went on a search to become a leader. I searched high and low. I spoke with authority; people listened. But alas, there was one who was wiser than I, And they followed that individual. I sought to inspire confidence, But the crowd responded, “Why should I trust you?” I postured, and I assumed that look of leadership With a countenance that flowed with confidence and pride, But many passed me by and never noticed my air of elegance. I ran ahead of the others, pointed the way to new heights. I demonstrated that I knew the route to greatness. And then I looked back, and I was alone. “What shall I do?” I queried. “I’ve tried hard and used all that I know.” And I sat down and pondered long. And then, I listened to the voices around me. And I heard what the group was trying to accomplish. I rolled up my sleeves and joined in the work. As we worked, I asked, “Are we all together in what we want to do And how to get the job done?” And we thought together, And we fought together, And we struggled towards our goal. I found myself encouraging the fainthearted. I sought ideas of those too shy to speak out. I taught those who had little skill. I praised those who worked hard. When our task was completed, one of the group turned to me and said, “This would not have been done but for your leadership.” At first, I said, “I didn’t lead. I just worked like the rest.” And then I understood, leadership is not a goal. It’s a way to reaching a goal. I lead best when I help others to go where we’ve decided to go. I lead best when I help others to use themselves creatively. I lead best when I forget about myself as leader and focus on my group... Their needs and their goals. To lead is to serve...to give...to achieve together. —Anonymous (as it should be...) 21 G-6945Leadership 6/6/06 1:49 PM Y Page 22 Leadership T r u t h s PartII You can only have two things in life, reasons or results. Reasons don’t count! Angry people are those who are most afraid. So many people can tell you why they did this or that. They can explain in eloquent language the justification for the incompletion of some task. The fact remains: it isn’t done. This inevitably means someone is going to have to pick up the slack because another person reacted instead of acted. Anger is an emotion of frustration. “I’m not getting what I want.” Whether this frustration comes from another person’s behavior, material objects, time considerations, etc., the angry person is frustrated and will vent his or her anger. This person will cause a little trauma and throw everyone else out of kilter. (Some people cause trauma so they feel needed or important.) One example is the popular game of oneupmanship to determine who has it worse. If you are constantly being mistreated, you’re cooperating with the mistreatment. There is no way to know before experiencing. People treat us as we teach them to. If someone is not treating you the way you want to be treated, don’t allow this to go on by being silent and miserable. Express your dislike for the treatment. You needn’t be hostile, just honest. Try to explain how to ride a bike or climb a mountain to a novice—you can’t. Participation is the only way. That’s why it’s so important to keep “doing.” Don’t think you can read everything in a book. Do it! (Qualifier: Never put yourself or others in jeopardy.) Trying provides two excuses, one for not doing and one for not having. What you say is exactly what you intended to say. As long as I just try, then I have built in the acceptance of incompletion in the initial concept and can always reiterate with “Well, I tried.” There is no “try.” The “I’m sorrys” of life simply do not exist. Blanket forgiveness is wonderful in principle, but it does not work in reality. Make sure you are ready to take responsibility for whatever you say. There are no second chances. I’ll forgive, but I won’t forget it. People remember everything as truth, even teasing. You must choose your words carefully. You cannot control without being controlled. k The game of control is a game, and you cannot play it unless you are also subject to it. If I want you to acknowledge my position of power, then I have to acknowledge every else’s position of power, or my position doesn’t mean anything to start out with. Thus, there are other people who must control me. The ultimate control, of course, is self-control, which is all there is anyway. Take control. 22 G-6945Leadership 6/6/06 1:49 PM Page 23 Leadership Truths If you worry about what might be and wonder what might have been, you will ignore what is. partII Solutions are only good for the moment; there are no generic, all-purpose solutions. It’s the whole theory of ignoring the now, which is all there is, simply now. Get your thoughts out of the past and the future. Ninety percent of what we spend time worrying about never happens. The magic answer, the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow, etc., are only myths. Solutions in any situation are usually only good for that situation, a one-way street. There are no pat answers to leadership. True leadership is a constant path of discovery. Before you break out of prison, you must first realize you’re locked up. Criticize the performance, not the performer. You can’t correct anything until you admit there is something to take care of. Self-admission is the key to all alcohol and drug abuse programs. Selfanalysis is an ongoing process. “Coolness” and leadership don’t mix. Avoid taking shots at the self-worth of another human being. We are all the experts on ourselves. You have no idea what the other person is going through. Their performance may well have been a miracle under the circumstances. When you blame others, you give up your power to change. Success is all you’ve ever had; even failure has taught you what not to do. Once again, you have given control to others. You are always at the effect of these people. No one is a failure until he or she blames another person. Blame takes energy. Can you afford to spend you energy in this fruitless effort? This is energy you should be using to lead. We started with nothing. Look at what you have had to this point and what lies ahead. Smile. If you are to this point with the effort you have given, think what it could be. You may be a genius and simply need to discover it. You are ultimately the cause of everything that happens to you. Knowing this, be careful what you cause. Take responsibility for your life. Your followers will always reflect your own sense of leadership. Take a look at them, and see how you’re doing. Whatever you are willing to put up with is exactly what you will have. People will violate your space as long as you let them. Often, unknown teasing can become a sore spot. Don’t put up with it if it hurts. Otherwise you once again give others control. Watch that you don’t allow yourself to get cheap attention at the expense of another person. There is no right or wrong, only consequences. Right or wrong is a label. We must simply deal with what is and what our actions cause. Take responsibility; you will anyway. Leaders are always exposed. Your consequences will be public. Take responsibility. Your interpretation of anything is merely that: your interpretation. Just because you see it that way doesn’t make it so. We all see things differently. That’s why there are different kinds of music, different arts, etc. Opinions are opinions, nothing more, just opinions. 23 G-6945Leadership 6/6/06 1:49 PM Page 24 Leadership Truths If you require someone to change, you will probably force that person to lie to you. partII Excuses are your lack of faith in your own power. Making excuses for not going for it is an attempt to justify your own inadequacy out of fear. Our society demonstrates expertise in excuses. Real leaders don’t excuse mistakes; they correct them. If I have to be a certain way to maintain your approval, it is easier to lie than to lose the relationship. We somehow know when people are lying, which means they are not following your lead. Things are not what they seem; they are what they are. We fear the thing we want most— success. Don’t complicate the simplicity of anything by reading into it more than what it is. How can we effect change until we are willing to admit what is? The “what ifs” of life come up extra strongly. Confront the fear so you can get what you want. To avoid it is to ensure that you will never complete your task. So you can’t move on. You’re stuck. Once you succeed, new opportunities will open to you. If you don’t like the games people play, make up your own games. Feelings of inferiority and superiority are the same; they both come from fear. Don’t punish yourself by thinking there are no other games. Choices are there for all of us. What a gift! Don’t try to fit a square peg in a round hole. Hitting the wall for the sake of hitting it can be painfully stupid. Again, these are labels promoted by society, human-made labels that only mean anything to other fearful people. You are you. When you accept that, then and only then can you really lead. There are many things I want but few things I need. After all is said and done, much is said and little is done. Don’t get these two confused. Need is a necessity; want is a luxury. Self-indulgence may be the greatest form of selfishness. You don’t need to be a leader; you choose it. Enjoy your choice. Action, not reaction. You build the wall by moving one brick at a time. The dignity of doing is what it is all about. Quiet leadership is so effective. And don’t run around with all your trophies. It’s boring. The biggest risk in life is not risking. If you have a college degree, you can be sure of one thing: you have a college degree. Sideline coaches are a dime a dozen; there are thousands of people in the stands and two coaches. Risk; be willing to fail. Come to grips with the fact that the only way to win is to risk. Don’t let the grades, paper, etc., make you think you are smart and knowledgeable. Wisdom of knowing is boosted by data, not the other way around. You cannot rest on your laurels. 24 G-6945Leadership 6/6/06 1:49 PM Page 25 Leadership Truths partII There is brutality, and there is honesty; there is no such thing as brutal honesty. Any system that takes the responsibility away from the people dehumanizes them. More simply, never hurt anyone intentionally, NEVER. Everything is about people. We must take care of people, not the system. The system can’t feel. Great leaders always have great people skills. This happens via practice. If you are not leaning, no one will ever let you down. Most times we do not communicate; we just take turns talking. We must depend on ourselves. We are alone in our humanness. Self-reliance is ultimate. Leaders have to stand on their own. Sharing and caring are rare in communication versus plastic “filling up time.” Are you saying what needs to be said to make a difference or just talking to talk? Don’t concern yourself with being normal. Be natural; it’s normal. It’s easy to get caught up in the “I have to be like” world of all of us being the same. You are you. You will always be you. You are normal. If you are afraid to lose anything you have, probably, at some point in your life, you will lose it (self-fulfilling prophesy). If you have made yourself important, notice that it is a lie. Importance is a label. People who are really important cannot understand that label. Nor do they acknowledge it. They simply live to give. Importance has to do with ego. Service has to do with leadership. This could be a boyfriend, girlfriend, job, promotion, grades, etc. The mind leads you in the direction of the most dominant thought. Put good thoughts in your mind. Leaders are optimistic. Worry comes from the belief that you have no ability to affect your situation. The way to win is to make it okay to lose. Play the game for the sake of playing the game. There is no real first place, and those who seek it will eventually trip themselves up. What we fear comes true! We only compete with ourselves. You can make any choice at any time. What are you worried about? You are in charge of you. You have the controls. Use them. To be out of control shows avoidance of leadership responsibility. What you are afraid to do is a clear indication of what you should do next. Your ability to relax is in direct proportion to your ability to trust life and yourself. Confront the situation. Clear it up. Don’t let it occupy your present moment any longer. If it is a problem, solve it. You will anyway! Use your sensitivity in your favor, and address the thoughts. If you’re burnt out, it indicates a lack of selftrust. What’s the hurry? Where are you going? There are leaders who find the hard work therapeutic. Enjoy! 25 G-6945Leadership 6/6/06 1:49 PM Page 26 Leadership Truths If you are honest because honesty is the best policy, then your honesty is corrupt. partII Whatever you are trying to avoid won’t go away until you confront it. What you resist persists. Get it cleaned up. Don’t let it linger and be like an aching tooth. Handle it. Life is about handling these things. If you don’t, they will take control of your life. If there is anything in a fundamental relationship that is uncomfortable, it will come through in your leadership style. Truth simply makes things work. Morals are not morals if they are forced. Honesty for the sake of care is the only way. The truth will win out. Honesty is the easiest thing in the world. Some people are willing to work if they can start at the top and work their way up. If you don’t start, it is certain you won’t arrive. In other words, the shortcut is to take the “longcut.” Fame and fortune are available to all through one thing: perseverance. Although we live in a society of instant gratification, it simply doesn’t work. People who reach the top do it by heading up the mountain. Head forward. This also provides a great excuse for not getting there. You simply didn’t start. If I don’t go for it, then I can’t mess up. Then I can stand back and take cheap shots at all those who did go for it and fell short. The thing we run from is what we run to—life is cyclic. What you can’t communicate runs your life. Whatever you fear is generally dominant in your thoughts. Your mind leads you in the direction of your most dominant thought; thus, your self-fulfilling prophecy comes true. Simply eliminate false fears. Unresolved, incomplete communication, whatever you hang onto is in control of you because it dominates your thoughts. Let go. Once again, we find communication is the key to successful leadership. Do it! You will always get what you expect. If you don’t have what you want, you are not committed to it 100%. This is the inverse of the thought above. Shoot for the moon; if you come short, at least you’ll land in the stars. Self-worth is built on what you expect. Self-worth guides your every move. Expect the best! Why would you think Pinto if you can think Porsche? We give a lot of lip service to what we want, but when it comes to getting it, the energy stops. If you are committed to being a leader, nothing will stop you. Nothing! Your enemy might be your best friend if you allow him or her to be who he or she is. Others can stop you temporarily; only you can stop you permanently. Disagreement is one of the greatest expressions of love there is. It’s our likeness that brings us together but our differences that keep us together. When we don’t allow people to be as they are, it is our own fear controlling us again. We find in others the qualities and weaknesses we have in ourselves. Takes one to know one! Champions expect to be champions. Winners expect to win. They visualize it and relive it a thousand times in their minds. No one can stop you at anything. If you listen to the negatives of others, you’re making their opinion more important than your own. It’s where many people get caught up in the game of approval. 26 G-6945Leadership 6/6/06 1:49 PM Page 27 Leadership Truths Maturity consists of not having to meet the approval game. partII You are the only teacher you will ever have. Maturity means feeding the self-worth and exercising the talents we have. Quit looking over your shoulder. Approval is a game of addiction. You will never get enough; it is not a need. In other words, if you think some guru is going to come along and enlighten you, you are crazy! Nor will you be a guru. Be kind to yourself as a teacher. Teach well. Be demanding. Life always keeps its agreement with you. We are all dying and won’t ever get a moment back to relive. Do we not owe it to life to give all the time? We get from life exactly what we put into it. Invest! There is none so righteous as the newly converted. When you have to convince someone of your convictions, then are they really honest? You don’t need agreement if you are a real leader—in fact, you may not have time for it. Hoping and wishing are excuses for not doing. These are fantasy excuses. They simply don’t exist. They are lies; if you check, you will find they deal with past and future. Being human is now. He who laughs, lasts. If you don’t know what direction to take, you haven’t acknowledged where you are. Lighten up! When you think it is so bad you can’t stand it, go to a nursing home. We have so much. Smile! You’ve got it made. Self-admission is the basis and so easy. If you look, your direction will always be there. If your life isn’t working the way you want it to, notice that you’re lying. You are in charge. If it is not the way you want it, why haven’t you changed it? Quit lying to yourself. This is self-abuse! Why would you possibly want it not to work? How can you lead others if you can’t make it work? 27 G-6945Leadership 6/6/06 1:49 PM Page 28 Notes: 28 G-6945Leadership 6/6/06 1:49 PM Page 29 29 G-6945Leadership 6/6/06 1:49 PM Page 30 30 G-6945Leadership 6/6/06 1:49 PM Page 31 31 G-6945Leadership 6/6/06 1:49 PM Page 32 32