The Many Shades - Havant and Waterlooville FC

Volume 1, Issue 1
April 2015
The Many Shades
The Fanzine of Havant & Waterlooville FC’s 50+ Walking Football squad
What is Walking
Football?
Welcome to our world
Matt Bartolo’s hilarious
yet insightful blog on the
Forum thread has been a
great delight for so many
people to read (over 9200
views at time of writing),
as well as now providing a
surprisingly detailed history of the group.
DEVORATA EST IGITUR
NOBIS SCRIBLITAE
Welcome one and all to
this first edition of our bimonthly (that’s once every
two months to you mush)
fanzine!
Many of you will be familiar with the Many Shades
from our written words on
both the Official Havant &
Waterlooville FC website
and the record-breaking
thread on the Fans Forum.
The thread was started in
September 2014 after
only the second training
session, which was held
on the hallowed turf of the
then billiard-table-like
surface of WLP. Just like
the BBC it has continued
to educate and entertain
since then.
The other “thread” running through this has
been the incredible support from the Club, from
Chairman Derek Pope and
all of the staff. We must
recognize the contribution
of our very own “Special
One”, Shaun Gale, who
has been with us every
step of the way, and has
suffered more than his
share of the slings and
arrows of outrageous fortune along our journey.
It is difficult to know
where to start if we are to
thank everyone who has
helped us to get to where
we are now, but some
important contributions
must be mentioned:
Scotty at the Westleigh for
our post-match cuppas;
Richard Pope for sorting
out our kit; Matt Bartolo
and Paul Sealey for sponsoring our playing kit; our
anonymous donor for
sponsoring our tracksuits;
and of course Lee Bradbury for avoiding temptation and not poaching any
players from us (!).
Football Club”, enabling
us to then become what
the FA call a “selfsustainable JUST PLAY
Centre”. Kim’s visit went
so well, she even joined in
our practice match, but
had to be reminded not to
run most of the time. The
club passed this review
very well, with the “Special
It is a version of the
game designed for
people aged 50+

The rules are similar
to ordinary football,
with no running and
it is less physical

It is for people with
all levels of skill (or
lack of skill)

It can improve your
fitness

You get proper
coaching from the
Special One himself,
Shaun Gale!

You get to meet new
people, and most of
all you join the
mighty HAWKS
family!
Inside this issue:
The Squad
2
Player Profile—The Wok
2
One” even being commended for his knowledge
of the laws of the game.
That’ll come as a shock to
Conference refs and linesmen!
Player Profile—The Fit
3
Captain Slog
4
Honest Matt
5
We do need to get a first
aid kit, but other than that
we are on the right track,
onwards and upwards.
WAGs’ corner
6
The Legends Cup (1)
6
The Legends Cup (2)
7
Player Profile—The Miss
8
Hampshire FA visit training session
On 12th March the Many
Shades of Grey were visited by Kim Wilcox from the
Hants FA.. This was for our
“Mid-Term Review”, part
of the club’s drive to progress from being a
“Licensed Walking Football Club” towards being
awarded status as an
“Official Licensed Walking

The Many Shades
Page 2
The Squad (March 2015)
The Many Shades of
Grey in training
Matt Bartolo
Jeff Hooper
Stewart Russell
Robbie Brown
Tony Jewell
Paul Sealey
George De Ste Croix
Rob Kelly
Andy Stonebridge
Pete Dolamore
Joe Mair
Steve Talman
Dave Hall
John Morgan
Derek Trapp
Adrian Hewitt
Derek Pope
Dave Veal
Mo Hill
Dave Richards
Clive Wilkin
RKelly Meets…. Shaun Gale
Nickname.... The Special
One
Position in the 50+ WF
Team.....Manager and
Coach
The Day Job.... Assistant
Manager of H&W FC and
Community Manager
Joined The H&W 50+
Team On… September
2014 (founder member)
Car... Vauxhall Mocca
Likes and Dislikes....
Food..Likes Roast Lamb,
Dislikes Seafood
TV....Likes Sport especially MoTD, Dislikes
Soaps
Football Team Other
Than H&W....Likes Liver-
pool, Dislikes Man City
Films.. Likes American
Sniper, Dislikes...None!!!
Leisure....Golf, Darts,
Family Time
Favourite Holiday Resort... Ibiza
Player Profile: Derek “The Wok” Trapp
Derek
“The
Wok”
Trapp
Not to be confused with any
character from “The Sound of
Music” (“The singing family
Von Trapp are absolutely no
relation of mine”), the player
guaranteed to brighten up
your day is Pompey fan and
target of many a jolly jape,
Derek “The Wok” Trapp.
Let’s start at the very beginning (a very good place to
start). Derek claims to have
never played organized football until he came to join the
Many Shades. No change
there then.
Derek has shown himself to
be able to play in virtually any
position on the park, often
appearing to occupy many of
those positions at the same
time.
On a serious note, his goalpoaching and his goalkeeping are both held in high
esteem by his team-mates,
making him one of those
players you would rather
have with you than against
you. However the enigma
surrounding The Wok remains the same: how do you
solve a problem like Maria?
Volume 1, Issue 1
Page 3
Player Profile: Rob “The Fit” Kelly
Rob “The Fit” Kelly was one
of the very first players to
sign up for the Many Shades,
attending almost every session since day one.
“Why ‘The Fit’?” I hear you
ask. Well, put simply, he is
fit. Not in the “my girlfriend is
well fit” sense. More in the
“he can’t half run around
quickly for a long time”
sense. Not that he runs
around at all when he plays
Walking Football, of course.
That would be wrong.
Rob, for his sins, is a Derby
County fan, but his presence
at their games doesn’t seem
to bring them much luck.
His experience of playing
organized football prior to
joining the Many Shades was
as part of his ship’s company
team in the Grey Funnel Line.
Unfortunately he wasn’t on
an aircraft carrier, and his
training was restricted to
submarine compartments!
He has also played alongside
some of the best Under-8s in
his son’s Sunday team. Or
was he their coach? Something like that.
Rob’s main strength on the
pitch is that he is a natural
born defender, and his ability
to play his way out of tight
spaces and make arrowstraight passes simply prove
that all that time he spent
training in a submarine was
far from wasted!
Rob “The Fit”
Kelly
He normally cycles to training, having fitness clothing to
match every type of weather!
Fixtures & Results
Feb 5th 2015:
H&WFC Blues:
H&WFC Pinks:
Eastleigh Dambusters (a)
Eastleigh 1 — lost 0-3
TSS Golden Oldies — drew 0-0
Emsworth Seniors B — lost 0-1
Hayling Old Boys — won 1-0
Portsmouth FC — lost 0-1
Active Nation Soton — lost 0-1
TSS Red Rovers — drew 0-0
Cove Boca Seniors — lost 0-2
Cove Jammy Dodgers — won 2-1
Bournemouth 1 — lost 0-2
Southampton DFA — drew 1-1
Real Cove Rapidly Ageing Pen-
Goals: Matt Bartolo (2), Robbie
sioners — lost 0-4
Brown (1)
Goals: Rob Kelly (1)
Lost 0-7 (att: about 15 including coaches and substitutes)
(30 mins each way, 7-a-side)
March 8th 2015:
Hants FA Legends Cup
(Silverlake Stadium)
Match Report — vs Eastleigh Dambusters
Our first match was held on
5th February at the Silverlake
Stadium, where we took on
our local rival’s finest. The
“Dambusters” boast a squad
of about 32, and it felt as if
they picked pretty well their
strongest line-up for this
match. For most of the
Hawks’ available squad this
was their first ever adult football match.
Unused to playing on such a
large pitch, using a smaller
size 4 ball, with full-on 30minute halves, the Hawks’
inexperienced side was at a
disadvantage right from the
start. With the “Dambusters”
remarkably quick around the
pitch, and having the edge in
overall experience, it was no
surprise that the goals started to flood in, although Tony
“The Wall” Jewell saved a
penalty. In spite of being 5-0
down at half time, the Many
Shades were beginning to get
the hang of it, and we held
them to just two more goals
in the second period.
Many thanks to the ref Huw
Evans, and to Eastleigh FC
who provided us with an excellent buffet afterwards.
“When you
start off by
losing 7-0,
you know
things can
only get
better”
The squads line up
ahead of the match.
The Many Shades
Page 4
Captain Slog — Stewart Russell
Stewart Russell
sets those Hawks
free to hunt down
their prey
Let me start by saying what a
huge privilege it was for me to be
chosen as the Captain for the
Hawks 50+ Walking Football
Team’s first ever match.
The result wasn’t what we had
hoped for, but we learnt a lot
about the game from it.
I think the FA has a difficult task
in fulfilling the potential for the
sport’s wider development. The
laudable aim is that WF is accessible to anyone aged 50+ who
wants to play. There are many
aspiring WF players whose only
recent experience of playing
football is in the back garden
with their grandchildren, and
before that was in the school
playground. Other WF players
have had years of league football
experience at whatever level.
Playing any sort of league football is competitive, and players
quickly learn how to impose
themselves on the player directly
against them, and equally learn
how not to be imposed upon. All
of this more or less within the
rules(-ish). I suppose you could
call it assertiveness.
Our game against Eastleigh was
an object lesson in how assertive
players can effectively “bully”
non-assertive opponents out of a
match, and highlights the need
for the FA to move quickly to
even out the playing field so that
enthusiastic novices are not put
off by the ingrained skill set of
much more experienced players.
The game needs to be played in
the spirit in which it was intended, yet remain competitive. It
seems inevitable that there will
be league systems in place soon
enough, and that is how players
will find their own level of both
skill and enjoyment.
In the meantime, let us continue
to play the game inclusively until
finding our own levels, and enjoy
a few festivals along the way.
Recruiting those Calendar Guys
Our squad now consists of
over 20 committed athletes,
and with our reputation
growing, applications to join
the squad increase day on
day, with more and more
guys trying to find ways of
being noticed and influence
the stringent selection process (“Can you afford 3 quid
a week mate?”).  Here’s
one trying too hard!
Meanwhile….
The Many Shades are looking for a photographer and
an artistic director to assist
in the collation of the 2016
Walking Football Calendar.
The team has been inundated with requests to produce
a somewhat seductive and
steamy calendar for 2016 to
appease all their fans.
We will be looking to shoot
this in August 2015 as the
cooler months may hinder
the desired effect. A wide
angle lens must be available
to facilitate some of our larger players. To apply please
contact:
[email protected]
Over-50s WFT plunder awards
At the recent annual
Vogue/Country Life/Tena
‘ALTERNATIVE SPORTS’
Awards, Havant and Waterlooville scooped 3 top
awards in their first season.
A cup wot we
have won
The prestigious event
held at Widley Village
Hall, on a date still to be
confirmed, might have
been heavily attended by
some very big names. If
we told you who, we may
have to shoot you.
We are very proud to announce that our team won
the coveted ‘Team of the
Year’. This was judged on
good looks, physique and
fair play.
Also we praise our own
Yeti for lifting not only
the sought after ‘Rear of
the Year’ award, but also
“Shirt Number of the
Year” for the way he wore
his much coveted No 69
shirt at the Legends Cup.
Volume 1, Issue 1
Page 5
Advice with honest matt
Dear Betty
A car stalling after being
Honest Matt
Got a problem?
Betty from Eastleigh
driven a short distance can
be caused by a variety of
faults with the engine. Start
by checking there’s no debris
in the fuel line. If it is clear
check the vacuum pipes and
hoses on the intake manifold
and also check all grounding
wires. If none of these solves
the problem, it could be that
the fuel pump itself is faulty
causing low delivery pressure to the injectors. I hope
this helps
Contact Honest Matt to see if he can help you overcome
your deepest fears or anxieties. E-mail him at
I hope you can help me. The
other day I set off for work,
leaving my husband getting
ready for his walking football
training. My car stalled, and
then it broke down half a
mile from home, so I walked
back to get my husband’s
help. When I got home I
couldn’t believe my eyes, he
was dressed in my lingerie
and high heels wearing my
make up, not a football kit in
sight. I am 58 and my hus-
band is 65, we have been
married for 30 years. When I
confronted him, he broke
down and admitted that he
had been wearing my undies
for the past 6 months, he
refuses to go to counselling
and my life is a wreck and I
need advice urgently, can
you help please?
[email protected]
Dear Matt
More Advice with honest matt
Dear Matt
I’m really interested in joining an over 50’s walking
football team, my problem is
since I turned 65 I’ve started
shrinking. I used to be 5 foot
10 but now I’m only 5 foot 2,
can you help?
Dilbert Pickles
Dil, don’t worry, as my wife
always says ‘size doesn’t
matter’, just roll up and join
in, you will be more than
welcome.
If it helps, maybe try these
new Nike boots from our WF
steering development group.
A few of our vertically challenged players have tried
these, and swear by them.
Honest Matt
Yep, still more Advice
with honest matt
Dear Matt
hump.
name like that, he’s probably
Recently, I found a lump on
Contact Dr Esmerelda at the
American. He had the same
my back that seems to be
Notre Dame Hospital in Gos-
problem as you, and until
getting bigger, is this a wart?
port, she specialises in this
sort of thing.
recently everyone hated him,
but now he’s been able to
Sincerely
If the alternative therapy
rehabilitate himself and peo-
Quasi Modo
option floats your boat, you
ple have been queueing up
for hours to see him.
Quasi, I think you have a
could go to visit Richard
Plantagenet III, who stays at
lump that could grow into a
Leicester Cathedral. With a
Honest Matt
Alternative
Hump Therapy
The Many Shades
Page 6
Full results at: http://www.hampshirefa.com/
news/2015/mar/hampshire-fa-launches-festivalfor-legends-cup
Match Reports (Blues) — Legends Cup
The Blues Squad played:
all over by the losing finalists
off” when he challenged the
— no surprise there — we
call! We ended up with the
spent the rest of the day
FA’s Respect officials taking
looking forward to each
over for the rest of the game!
match. It was all very enjoya-
Congratulations to Matt the
ble, although we did have an
Miss whose two tournament
“incident” against TSS Red
Southampton DFA — drew 1-1
goals meant he leapfrogged
Rovers when we had a goal
legend Rob the Fit to become
Goals: Matt Bartolo (2), Robbie
disallowed and the ref (either
Brown (1)
the Hawks Walking Football
very brave or very foolish)
Having started against the
all-time record goalscorer!
told the mighty Yeti to “eff
Eastleigh 1 — lost 0-3
Emsworth Seniors B — lost 0-1
Portsmouth FC — lost 0-1
TSS Red Rovers — drew 0-0
Cove Jammy Dodgers — won 2-1
“Auld Enemy” and getting run
WAGs (and HABs) Corner
“I couldn’t
believe it
when
photographers
from ‘Hello’
Magazine
turned up on
the doorstep”
Is your other half one of our
esteemed players? Or maybe
one of our coaches, or even
perhaps a Chairman?
If so, tell us your side of the
story here!
In our drive for inclusiveness
we are not restricting this to
the traditional “Wives And
Girlfriends”. Oh no, with
Walking Football sessions
open to all, we include the
opportunity for “Husbands
And Boyfriends” to share
their experiences too!
While the Many Shades are
all men, we now know that
mixed matches are allowed,
and so women players can
become Highlighted Goddesses too, simply by joining
in our training sessions.
Players’ other halves are
encouraged to come along
and support us at matches —
Stewart Russell’s other half
“Cathy the Camerawag” came
to video a training session.
Even Paul Sealey’s Labradoodle
has shown up a couple of times
keeping us all on our toes.
Just be prepared for the press
intrusion as Walking Football
takes off, and you and your
other half become must-snap
targets for the paps!
Get well soon
The Many Shades would like
to wish one of our star players well in his recovery from
injury. Jeff “The Influential”
Hooper, midfield maestro,
man of wickedly dry wit, and
Hawks board member, had to
be brought off the field of
play very much against his
will in the Blues’ final match
of the Legends Cup.
Jeff had aggravated an old
knee injury, and as a result
he has not been able to play
for or with us since.
We know he is having treatment for this under specialist
medical supervision, so we
wish him all the best for a
speedy recovery and return to
the fold.
This highlights our delicate
and frail condition as Walking
Footballers. We are old, we
are fragile, we are too bloody
slow to get out of the way!
More seriously it means that
we do need to look after ourselves a bit more, we don’t
heal as quickly as we did
when we were younger!
Volume 1, Issue 1
Page 7
Match Reports (Pinks) — Legends Cup
The Pinks Squad played:
TSS Golden Oldies — drew 0-0
Hayling Old Boys — won 1-0
Active Nation Soton — lost 0-1
Cove Boca Seniors — lost 0-2
Bournemouth 1 — lost 0-2
Goals: Rob Kelly (1)
The Pinks split their squad
into two, one group playing in
Video coverage of their
match against Bournemouth
1 suggests that they were
very unlucky to lose to them,
with evidence showing that
both goals might have been
disallowed by any “fourth
official”. Unfortunately for
the most part we only had
two officials, never mind a
third, so they had no chance
really!
Well done to the lads though,
as the win over Hayling Old
Boys was the first in the
club’s history, and Rob Kelly’s
goal was the first we had ever
scored in a competitive
match.
As a point of interest Real
Cove RAP who we played in
the final match went on to
win the Cup, beating Eastleigh 1 in the final.
Real Cove RAP,
the Cup Winners
Real Cove Rapidly Ageing Pensioners - lost 0-4
the first three games, the
other in the next three. In
spite of only picking up one
win, they enjoyed the day and
found the opposition to be by
and large fair and friendly.
Walking Football Prize Quiz (all answers can be found in this fanzine)
1 Name the Many Shades’ all
time record goalscorer.
2 Was it the Blues or Pinks
squad that won our first ever
match?
3 Which member of the Blues
squad was forced to leave
the pitch with a knee injury?
4 What is Shaun Gale’s nickname among the Many
Shades?
5 Who saved a penalty
against Eastleigh Dambusters?
6 What does the Many
Shades’ motto “DEVORATA
EST IGITUR NOBIS
SCRIBLITAE” mean?
7 Name the player whose
goalkeeping and goalpoaching are held in high esteem
by his teammates?
8 The Many Shades players
are paid £3.00 for every
training session they attend.
True or False?
The first all-correct
9 Who visited the Many
Shades’ training session on
March 12th?
pass to come and
10 What month in 2014 did
the Many Shades first form?
Tiebreak: Would you turn to
Honest Matt for advice?
entry opened by
honestmatt@yahoo.
co.uk wins a free
watch the Many
Shades training
session of their
choice at South
Downs College one
Thursday morning!
Referees wanted
No, not “Dead or Alive”, as in
“wanted poster”. It’s more
like they are “needed”. If
Walking Football is to grow,
we need as many refs as we
can get.
We can’t speak on behalf of
the FA about training, but we
will certainly welcome any
aspiring WF ref along to our
training sessions.
There are no contentious
offside decisions to be made,
just lots and lots of contentious “running” decisions
instead!
We are hoping to arrange a
few friendlies against other
local WF sides, including at
least one “festival” over the
summer, so if you have any
refereeing experience, or
want to become a referee,
please get in touch!
And don’t forget — you don’t
have to be over 50 to ref, and
you get to meet the Many
Shades and the Special One!
Don’t worry if it’s
blurred, it doesn’t
affect refereeing!
The MANY SHADES OF GREY - H&WFC 50+ Walking Football
DEVORATA EST IGITUR NOBIS SCRIBLITAE
— “we ate all the pies”
Havant & Waterlooville
50+ Walking Football
c/o Westleigh Park, Martin Road
Havant, PO9 5TH
The Many Shades of Grey train for an hour every Thursday
at 11.00am, coached by Shaun Gale.
The venue is the all-weather pitch at South Downs College, which
is opposite the main entrance to the College. There is plenty of
Contact Shaun Gale
02392 787822
car parking in the college grounds.
Players should come prepared for all weathers; once a player has
shown commitment to the club they will be provided with a track-
This Newsletter was conceived, designed,
and written by Matt Bartolo, Rob Kelly, and
Stewart Russell.
suit which should be worn to training sessions.
The photos are copied/edited from the web, the
Eastleigh Dambusters’ Facebook page, and from
our own CameraWAG Cathy Mitchell.
this to the club, not the other way round!).
R EAD ABO UT US O N THE O FFICIAL
H A W K S W E B S I T E : “ rapidly becoming
my favourite part of the website” - Ian
Radford, formerly Official Hawks
website manager
Fees are £3.00 per session, with a £10.00 joining fee (you pay
To see us in action, simply google “Havant & Waterlooville
walking football”
If you want to be part of this Fanzine, e-mail us at:
[email protected]
Player Profile: Matt “The Miss” Bartolo
Matt “the Miss” Bartolo is the
Hawks WF all-time record
goalscorer, with his massive two
goals coming in only seven
games. Says a lot, doesn’t it.
He started out as Matt
“The Danny” due to his
uncanny resemblance
to a character in
EastEnders, but his
totally reliable prowess
in front of goal soon
changed that! To date
Matt is the only player
to have put a ball over the training pitch fence from two yards
(and we have it on video!).
Both of his goals came in a twominute spell against Cove Jammy
Dodgers in the Hampshire Legends Cup.
Matt’s main claim to fame is in
his awesome literary style that
captures the fun and enthusiasm
of Thursday morning training sessions. His blog has been a source
of amusement for literally thousands of readers, and is eagerly
awaited each week.
In his spare time Matt still goes to
work, apparently. So it was that
along with Paul Sealey he could
afford to sponsor our purchase of
playing kit, no doubt writing it off
against tax as totally essential
expenditure.
On Hawks matchdays Matt can be
found by the dugouts offering his
insightful advice to not only Lee
and Shaun, but also to referees
and linesmen as well. Using his
experience, he has been able to
offer sound coaching tips to the
Hawks strikers too, which has
been reflected in their prolific
form in front of goal.
Finally, a Thursday morning at
11.00 offers his adoring public
their only chance to see him out
of his skinny jeans, when he arrives for training adorned instead
in his club tracksuit. This makes
him almost unrecognizable, except that you know he’ll be the
one hanging around on the right
wing trying to avoid Pete the
Fast’s normally successful attempts to tread on his sore foot.