Semi-final - Havant and Waterlooville FC

The Fanzine of Havant & Waterlooville FC’s 50+ Walking Football Team
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The Many Shades
FA
People’s
Volume 2, Issue 1, March 2016
Cup !
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Semi-final
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Special
Edition
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L BUMPER
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AS SEEN ON TV
EDITION
FA People’s Cup Special 1 As Seen on TV Edition
Since last we met…
28/12/15 Knock-about at ROKO vs Pompey ITC
24/1/16
FA People’s Cup Quarter-Finals (Goals, Southampton)
Group stage: Pelhams Park Rangers (2-4), Hayling Old Boys (22), Stoke Park Rangers (1-5), Bournemouth WFT (3-0).
Knock-out stage: Gosport Borough (4-2), Pelhams Park Rang
ers (2-1), Southampton Strollers A (1-2).
30/1/16
Maidenhead Utd (a) (3-1)
7/2/16
Winter Festival (Park Community School)
Round robin: Caulkhead Strollers (IoW) (1-0), Emsworth &
Hayling B (0-1), Pompey ITC (1-1), Mountbatten WFC (1-0),
Emsworth & Hayling A (0-0).
23/2/16
Shades of Grey featured on BBC1’s South Today
27/2/16
Dave Hall featured on BBC Radio Solent
28/2/16
FA People’s Cup Semi-Finals (Goals, Bristol North)
Group stage: Abbeymead Rovers (1-1), Wiltshire Wanderers
(0-2), Yma O Hud (Swansea) (0-0), Westcott Vets (0-4), South
ampton Strollers (2-1).
Check out Jeff’s blog at https://manyshades50.wordpress.com/
Also in this bumper edition:
Page 5 FA People’s Cup Quarter-final report
Page 6 RKelly meets—John “the Hat” Hicks
Page 7 FA People’s Cup Semi-final report
Page 12 Winter Walking Football Festival report
Page 13 It’s that bloke off the telly!
Page 14 Maidenhead Magpies (away) report
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Your Page 3 Stunner is….
Derek “the Chairman” Pope
When we interviewed him, sitting in his high-backed
armchair and stroking his white Persian moggy, he
whispered “So, Mister Shades, we meet again.”
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Like all Page 3 Stunners, caring Derek desperately
wants people everywhere to work harder for world
peace. Except for midfielders in the Hawks engine
room, uncompromising defenders at the back, shooton-sight forwards, and goalkeepers who have a duty to
study videos from the 1970s of Gary Sprake’s onelegged ballet technique.
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Soft-focus photo by Stewart Russell
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So love and world peace it is then. Big softy.
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Secrets of living to a grand old age
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Your Many Shades players have been around a while…. How did they make it to
such an exalted age? We asked some of our star players for their secrets….
Mo “the Assassin” Hill: As you can imagine I have travelled a bit over
the years. I think I’ve managed to stay alive so long because I’ve always
avoided going near Midsomer.
Colin “the Doctor” Baker: One thing I believe in is hospitality. Have
friends over to visit as often as possible. But one thing I’ve learnt is never,
ever, invite Miss Marple to stay for the weekend. She just brings out the
worst in some people.
Barrie “the Booze” Gray: Some people think that 1664 is the year I was
born, but it isn’t. It just seems that way. Hydration is very important for a
long and active life. I hydrate as much as possible.
FA People’s Cup Special 3 As Seen on TV Edition
Marquee signing boosts Many Shades
Internet image
Some say he knows a tickle down the leg better than most.
Some say he can whip them off before you can say “bails!”
Some say he can re-rubber his grip faster than a…
No, we’ll stop there.
We just know him as… Adi Aymes, former Champshire wicketkeeper and Bristol
City youth footballer, and now General Manager at H&WFC. Who would have
guessed he was over-50. A round of applause for another first-class half-century.
Although he never made it to City’s first team, his undoubted ability has boosted
the Many Shades’ squad. He was talent-spotted when he made a cameo appearance for the Hawks in a friendly in Jersey in 2008, and has been waiting patiently to
come through our development programme to join the big boys since then.
Newly unearthed by a team
of crack archaeologists, shots
from our Charity Game on
the WLP pitch against Pompey ITC on Sunday 4th October 2015.
Archive Action 04:10:15
photos courtesy of the Bartolo Collection
Top: Mo “the Assassin” Hill
clears from Pompey’s Giorgio
Colombi, who seems to be
auditioning for the part of
“the knees” in the next
“Mummy Returns” movie.
Bottom: Clive “the Nimble”
Wilkin leads the charge out of
defence leaving two Pompey
players trailing in his wake.
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FA People’s Cup glory for Many Shades
Fairy-tale ending for battling squad in Quarter-finals
Playing as the Shades of Grey, the Hawks’ Walking Football team played in the FA People’s
Cup at Goals, Southampton (Sunday 24th January). Playing a mini-league format, the Shades
of Grey struggled to compete with the tempo and pace in their early games, only managing
one draw (2-2 vs Hayling Old Boys) in their first three games. Throwing caution to the wind
in their last match, they finally earned a 3-0 win, to finish with a flourish.
Convinced that this record wasn’t going to be enough to progress, they all went to the
dressing room and got changed, ready to leave. Team manager Matt Bartolo had left for
home with the practice balls, and star player Adi Aymes had just left the car park when John
Hicks, one of the non-playing squad members, rushed in to tell them that they were due to
play again in 5 minutes’ time.
Amazingly they retrieved Aymes, grabbed whatever sweaty shirt, shorts, and socks they
could from the kit-bag, and rushed back out to the pitch. Despite this far-from-perfect preparation, they stunned Gosport Borough by winning 4-2, moving into the semi-final. In the
semi-final they avenged an earlier group match defeat, and winning 2-1, and progressing to
the day’s final.
The Shades of Grey couldn’t manage the miracle of coming back from the dead completely
by winning the final, instead going down 2-1 against Southampton Strollers “A” in a closely
fought match. For the second time that afternoon, they considered themselves to have
been knocked out of the FA People’s Cup.
Once again they got changed, congratulated the Strollers on their win, and thanked the
Goals and FA staff for organising it all. The staff in turn congratulated the Shades of Grey on
progressing to the next round at
Bristol on February 28th. The
Shades of Grey players thought
this was a case of mistaken identity, but no, it was true, the winners and runners-up on the day
both qualified for the FA People’s Cup semi-finals! Twice
now they had thought they were
out of the cup, only to find that
they were still in it.
The Shades of Grey’s line up was
Colin Jeffery, Adi Aymes, Dave Hall, Rob Kelly, Derek Pope, Jeff Pickering, and
Stewart Russell. Goals: Adi (5), Jeff (4), Derek (3), Rob, Colin, and Stew (1 each).
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FA People’s Cup Special 5 As Seen on TV Edition
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← Dave Hall
pondering just
how long he’ll
have to spend
in make-up
ahead of his
next big BBC
Radio Solent
interview.
Personnel
details from the
FA People’s Cup
Semi-finals ↓
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Your Many Shades squad (masquerading as The Shades of Grey) for the FA
People’s Cup Semi-Final was:
Colin Jeffery, Dave Hall, Rob Kelly, Jeff Pickering, Derek Pope, Kev Rapley,
and Stewart Russell.
Goal scorers in Bristol were Kev Rapley (2) and Stewart Russell (1).
Special mention to the two players who shared the goalkeeping role, Colin
and Dave. Neither of them could be blamed for any of the goals we let in.
As well as the players, the following people also shared the pain: Team
manager Matt Bartolo and his “Special One” tactics book (?), and our great
thanks go to Baz, Barrie, John, Cathy, and Ken for coming along as our travelling support, and to Dave for his excellent minibus driving. It’s great
when you are on first-name terms with your entire travelling support!
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FA Cup run ends at semi-final stage
Shades of Grey edged out of FA People’s Cup on goal difference
Battle-scarred galacticos out but not down
Unfortunately fame is over for us this year. As is the way in football, quite often it was a case
of missed opportunities. The semis were made up of six teams: ourselves (the Shades of
Grey) and teams from Swansea (Yma O Hud), Bristol (Abbeymead Rovers), Reading
(Westcott Vets), Wiltshire (Wiltshire Wanderers) and Southampton Strollers. It was played
on a league basis with the top four teams playing the semi-finals followed by the final. Both
teams from the final would progress to Sheffield.
We started very well, against Abbeymead, drawing 1-1 although we hit both the post and
the cross bar twice each. There was only one team in it. Next we played Team Wiltshire.
Now before I give you the result, there was an inquiry about the age of their goal keeper and
his ID was checked. We also ask if the team should have been there at all, as their County
FA drew them from the 12 WF centres in the county, so they were a County side, not a club
side. We lost 2-0. We then played the team from Swansea who were last year’s FA Cup finalists, and drew 0-0.
Then came a lesson in how walking football is played at the highest level. We played the
team from Reading, who included an ex professional - and did it show! They ripped us to
pieces, it was all that we could do to adopt the tactic of damage limitation, and we lost 4-0.
Entering our last game, against Southampton, it was a must-win game, and we had to hope
other results went our way. We did win 2-1 but alas when the results were confirmed and
the final table announced we were in fifth place with the fourth placed team Yma O Hud
conceding two goals less than we did. So here endeth our FA People’s Cup run.
However we are not down hearted. Our ever optimistic tournament Manager Matt the Miss
and the Special One have already put their spin on the positives. We were among the top six
teams in the South West of England and all of Wales. Having now played against the Welsh
side, which counts as an international, we can claim our first England caps. If you exclude
Swansea and Team Wiltshire we are actually in the top three club teams in the South West
of England. LOL
All that said we had a great time, the best two footballing sides, Reading and Wiltshire, are
going to Sheffield, and we will try again next year.
Finally, on behalf of Havant and Waterlooville FC 50+ Walking Football Club "Shades of
Grey" I would like to thank BBC TV South and Radio Solent very much for the interest that
they have shown. We thoroughly enjoyed our time in the lime light.
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Report by David Hall (well-known TV and Radio personality)
FA People’s Cup Special 7 As Seen on TV Edition
Prize Quiz: all answers can be found somewhere in this bumper edition
of The Many Shades of Grey
The first completely correct answer received by [email protected],uk wins
TWO free tickets to the Many Shades training session of their choice.
1 Easy one to start. Where did the Shades of Grey travel to play in the FA People’s
Cup semi-finals?
2 Which Many Shades player has also played County Cricket?
3 Name the three referees at our Winter Walking Football Festival.
4 The weather at South Downs College 3G pitch between 11.00 and 12.00 on 18th
February was dry and mostly sunny. True or false?
5 Which of the Many Shades players was interviewed on Radio Solent?
6 Who was Man of the Match in the away game against Maidenhead Magpies?
7 How many times did the Shades of Grey think they had been knocked out of the
FA People’s Cup before they found out they had made it to the semi-finals?
8 What was the name of the team from the Isle of Wight that played in the Winter
Festival?
9 Which of the Many Shades once earned a living by jumping out of aeroplanes?
10 Name the two players who have made the most appearances for the Many
Shades without yet scoring a goal?
11 Tie-break—Honest Matt is away at the moment sorting out the Hawks’ new
official website. Has his absence from these pages upset you?
Terms and conditions of entry: Anyone can enter. The free tickets don’t really exist.
There are no tickets for our training sessions. You just turn up and either join in or just
watch. See back page for details.
Health Warning: sometimes there may be audible use of foul and abusive language,
especially when The Wall has been asked to change direction during a training routine
and the Special One has grown a few more Shades of Greyer through frustration with
the confusion it causes.
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On a serious note: We’ve been hoping to get
← Dave Veal back from injury for some time, but
unfortunately he has told us that following his
knee operation late last year his specialist advised him that a return to Walking Football could
jeopardise the whole recovery process and cause
irreparable damage. Dave was part of the original Many Shades team that played
in our first ever match against Eastleigh Dambusters, and his calm demeanour and
dry wit will be missed from both the dressing room and training ground.
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Dave has said that at some stage he would like to come along to a Festival or two,
and perhaps help with the running of the day. It will be good to keep in touch, and
we will certainly give him a warm welcome back. He’s a good bloke.
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Susan O’Brien, programme manager of the Football Conference Trust, presenting a
cheque for £50,000 to the Special One Shaun Gale and some of the Many Shades.
The Hawks have received this funding over three years to support their community
programme, which includes work in schools, with disadvantaged young people,
children with disabilities, and of course the walking football squad. Stew Russell
would like to immediately quash the rumour that he tucked the cheque inside his
top and ran off to the bank with it. It was Derek Pope who did that.
FA People’s Cup Special 9 As Seen on TV Edition
RKelly meets…
John “the Hat”
Hicks
John 'The Hat' Hicks was born soixante-neuf years ago (don't ask him anymore
French because that's all he knows!) in Holland to an English squaddie and a Dutch
tulip (not sure what that makes him!!). Maybe you can guess what his favourite
national football team is? He came to England to attend school (now and again)
and spent most of his youth in Portsmouth and Leigh Park. Although he did learn to
read he preferred looking at pictures so his favourite ever footballer is Roy of the
Rovers - he never lost a game.
On leaving school at 15 (officially) he was given the choice - Borstal or the Army. He
didn't fancy having to obey lots of orders, so chose the Army. He did quite well for
himself participating in all the important sports - football, rugby, swimming and
even a bit of boxing (but that was quite painful!). Being the adventurous spirit that
he is he fancied jumping out of aircraft so joined the Paras, serving Queen and
country in various parts of the world. When he'd had enough of the Army, he tried
settling down doing other normal jobs to earn a crust but finally decided to do his
bit for humanity by volunteering to deliver food to the needy during the famine in
Ethiopia/Sudan.
He spent the rest of his working life working with various international charities as
a logistics/security consultant in such countries as Somalia, Afghanistan, Rwanda &
Armenia and lots of other delightful 'holiday resorts' helping to feed and heal the
local populations. Various health problems forced him to finally stay at home to be
looked after by his long suffering wife. John is married, has three children (who all
left home as soon as they could), four step-children (who also left home) and has a
total of 10 various grandchildren, who all think that he's a hero! Of course, he
would be the best 69 year old footballer in the world.....if only his legs would
work!!!
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The Yeti presents:
Old Jokes from Old Folks
Two old guys, one 80 and one 87, were sitting on a park bench one
morning. The 87-year-old had just finished his morning jog and
wasn't even short of breath. The 80-year-old was amazed at the
guy's stamina and asked him what he did to have so much energy.
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The 87-year-old said, "Well, I eat rye bread everyday. It keeps your
energy level high and you'll have great stamina with the ladies."
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So, on the way home the 80-year-old stopped at the bakery. As he
was looking around, the sales lady asked if he needed any help. He said, "Do you
have any rye bread?"
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She said, "Yes, there's a whole shelf of it. Would you like some?"
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He said, "I want five loaves."
She said, "My goodness, five loaves! By the time you get to the 3rd loaf, it'll be rock
hard."
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He replied, "I can't believe everybody knew about this stuff except me."
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
Dave Funniest Joke Of The Fringe Award— the best jokes from the Edinburgh
Fringe:
2015: I just deleted all the German names off my phone. It’s Hans free. (Darren
Walsh)
2014: I’ve decided to sell my hoover… well it was just collecting dust. (Tim Vine)
2013: I heard a rumour that Cadbury is bringing out an oriental chocolate bar.
Could be a Chinese Wispa. (Rob Auton)
2012: You know who really gives kids a bad name? Posh and Becks. (Stewart
Francis)
2011: I needed a password eight characters long so I picked Snow White and the
Seven Dwarves. (Nick Helm)
2010: I've just been on a once-in-a-lifetime holiday. I'll tell you what, never again.
(Tim Vine)
2009: Hedgehogs—why can’t they just share the hedge? (Dan Antopolski)

FA People’s Cup Special 11 As Seen on TV Edition
Winter Walking Football Festival,
1.00pm, 7th February 2016, Park Community School.
On a bright but chill-windy day we met up again at Park Community School
for our first Festival of the year. We welcomed two new sides into our fold –
Mountbatten WFC based at the Mountbatten Centre in Portsmouth, and our first
“overseas” visitors Caulkhead Strollers from Sandown IoW. Unfortunately Maidenhead United’s team were unable to join us as originally planned, but Emsworth &
Hayling were able to bring a second team along at a week’s notice to bring us up to
numbers. Our old friends from Pompey ITC were there, as well as one team from
the Many Shades.
The games were each of two 8-minute halves, and thanks go to our timekeeper John Hicks and the three referees Dan, Mike, and Edge for keeping things
ticking along nicely. Each team played the other five, and it was good to see that
the standard of play was fairly even. Although there were two teams who didn’t
win a game between them, the margins between success and failure weren’t great.
An example would be that while Mountbatten lost 1-0 to the Many Shades,
with the scores at 0-0 they were awarded a penalty which was saved; really it was a
match that could have gone either way. When we compare both sides’ performance against Emsworth & Hayling A, against whom Mountbatten lost 3-0, but the
Many Shades drew 0-0, these fine margins are well illustrated. As in previous Festivals when we have had visitors from much further afield, it is good to see how
closely matched teams are in general, and we hope our friendly Festivals help to
foster good relationships between more and more teams to further promote the
growth of Walking Football.
Overall, it was Emsworth & Hayling who illustrated their strength in depth
by coming first and second overall. Yet again they won our coveted trophy (valued
at over 40 pence), their fourth win out of our five Festivals held (for the record,
Pompey ITC won the other one).
Team
Emsworth & Hayling A
Emsworth & Hayling B
Many Shades of Grey
Pompey ITC
Caulkhead Strollers
Mountbatten WFT
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The “it’s that bloke off the telly” page
Of course we’re going to brag about it. Natch, innit?
← Colin “the Doctor” Baker
↓Pete “the Fast” Dolamore
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↓ The Special One
← Rob “the Fit” Kelly
↓ Dave “the Limpet” Hall
BBC TV South: South Today shown on 23rd
February 2016. Filmed at South Downs
College on 18th February 2016. Screengrabs taken from the BBC iPlayer.
FA People’s Cup Special 13 As Seen on TV Edition
Maidenhead Magpies (away) Saturday 30th January (won 3-1)
The Many Shades travelled to Maidenhead to play the return fixture against the supporters of Maidenhead United, the Magpies. Although we had lost 3-0 in the corresponding fixture back in November, we
were buoyed by the knowledge that their goalkeeper had been the difference between the sides last
time, and of course we were full of confidence following last week's progress in the FA People's Cup.
Playing 7-a-side we started in slightly tentative mood, weighing them up. They had a midfield "kingpin"
who was clearly a very good player in his day, and we did make the mistake of giving him far too much
space during the first period, but kept it at 0-0, with Rob Kelly and Pete Dolamore shoring things up nicely
in front of ‘keeper Dave Hall.
Manager Matt Bartolo made a couple of changes for the second period, bringing on John Hicks up front
and Stew Russell in midfield. It wasn't long before a free-flowing move saw Dave Richards left in space to
pick his spot in the bottom corner to fire the Many Shades into a just-about-deserved lead. At about this
time the chill wind started to blow the ball away from our forwards Baz Carter and John Hicks who were
taking turns up front. As both managers shuffled their substitutes, the game ebbed to and fro, and it was
the Magpies who were next to score, a clinical finish leaving Dave in goal no chance. With scores still
level as we entered the final quarter, and with the Many Shades struggling to get the ball out of our own
half against the wind, it took a neat move founded on intelligent movement off the ball and keeping the
ball on the ground for the hard-working Jeff Pickering to find himself perfectly placed to restore the Many
Shades' lead with a low drive past the Magpies keeper. Man of the Match Dave Richards had kept offering us options of easy passes, his ability to find himself space illustrating perfectly why his nickname is
"Silent But Deadly". Robbie Brown’s pass to John led to our third goal, as John squared it to Jeff whose
shot was parried by their keeper, but dropped perfectly for Dave to coolly volley home for his second goal
of the match.
Shortly after that we had to make a substitution as John was hit in the face by the ball from very close
range as he had closed down an opponent. He was clearly very dazed, and needed support to remain on
his feet and be taken off the pitch where he was treated. Play only resumed after several minutes of this
stoppage. We came under increased pressure for the last couple of minutes as we were forced to play
with 6 men after Pete was sin-binned for (yet another) running offence. But we did see it out fairly comfortably in the end for a 3-1 win. Thankfully John was able to make his way to the pub afterwards and
enjoy a couple of pints before
we went to the York Road
Ground to watch the Hawks
running football team take on
the Magpies running football
team.
Massive thanks to Matt Cane
who drove us in the minibus.
Thanks of course also to Lee
Roberts who put in another of
his entertaining shifts as referee,
and manager Matt Bartolo who
vs Maidenhead Magpies 30/1/16—standing l-r Matt Bartolo
kindly shared his phone's music
(manager) Stew Russell, Dave Richards, John Hicks, Barry Carter, Rob
collection with us on the return
Kelly; front l-r Pete Dolamore, Jeff Pickering, Dave Hall, Robbie Brown
journey.
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Appearances (and goals)
forever
Adi Aymes
Colin Baker
Matt Bartolo
Mike Blakey
Robbie Brown
Baz Carter
George De Ste Croix
Pete Dolamore
Barrie Gray
Dave Hall
John Hicks
Mo Hill
Jeff Hooper
Colin Jeffery
Derek Jepson
Tony Jewell
Rob Kelly
Joe Mair
Cathy Mitchell
John Morgan
Jeff Pickering
Derek Pope
Kev Rapley
Dave Richards
Stew Russell
Paul Sealey
Jeff Shires
Steve Talman
Derek Trapp
Dave Veal
Clive Wilkin
Andy Wilson
Appearances (and goals)
2015/16 season
8 (5)
1
26 (14)
12
16 (2)
27
7
50 (8)
14 (1)
36
28
32
6
26 (1)
3 (1)
28
56 (2)
20 (3)
2
19
31 (9)
24 (4)
11 (6)
23 (4)
56 (8)
24 (2)
4 (1)
24 (1)
36
19
17
5
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Adi Aymes
Colin Baker
Matt Bartolo
Mike Blakey
Robbie Brown
Baz Carter
Pete Dolamore
Barrie Gray
Dave Hall
John Hicks
Mo Hill
Colin Jeffery
Tony Jewell
Rob Kelly
Joe Mair
John Morgan
Jeff Pickering
Derek Pope
Kev Rapley
Dave Richards
Stew Russell
Paul Sealey
Jeff Shires
Steve Talman
Derek Trapp
Clive Wilkin
Andy Wilson
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8 (5)
1
5 (5)
9
6
20
31 (6)
7 (1)
24
21
14
26 (1)
20
37 (1)
13 (2)
13
31 (9)
24 (4)
11 (6)
10 (2)
34 (8)
16 (2)
4 (1)
14
15
5
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Stat attack:
In matches against other teams since 5th
February 2015, 32 players have pulled on
the shirts and 72 goals have been scored.
Top scorer is Matt Bartolo with 14 goals.
Most appearances have been made by
Rob Kelly and Stew Russell with 56 each.
FA People’s Cup Special 15 As Seen on TV Edition
Havant & Waterlooville FC
50+ Walking Football Team
c/o Westleigh Park,
Martin Road
Havant,
PO9 5TH
major ego melior sum
“the older I get, the better I was”
To be part of the Many Shades of Grey, contact Shaun
Gale on 02392 787822. If you want a digital copy of
this Fanzine, e-mail us at: [email protected]
This Newsletter was conceived, designed, and written by Matt Bartolo, Rob Kelly, and Stewart Russell.
Except where directly credited the photos are courtesy of Jeff Pickering, Colin Jeffery, and Stewart Russell.
The Many Shades of Grey train for an hour every Thursday at 11.00am, and on Sundays at 3.00pm, coached by our own Special One - Shaun Gale.
The venue is the all-weather pitch at South Downs College, which is opposite the
main entrance to the College. There is plenty of car parking in the college
grounds.
Players should come prepared for all weathers; once a player has shown commitment to the club they will be provided with training kit which should be worn to
training sessions.
Fees are £3.00 per session (£5.00 on Sundays), with a £10.00 joining fee (you pay
this to the club, not the other way round!).
Dahn wiv the kids, yer FA and yer Many Shades of Grey are on #Twitface too...
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