255 - Koleinu June 2011.p65

Kol Chai Hatch End Jewish Community
Koleinu
Issue No.255 July - August 2011; Tammuz - Av 5771 www.kolchai.org
Now We All Know What’s Going On
New Kol Chai website launched: www.kolchai.org
When’s the next Film show? What kind of service is it
this Friday night? What time does Table Tennis start on a
Tuesday? What’s the topic of the next “Carry on Learning”
session? I heard talk of a Shabbaton in June – what’s that
all about?
You can find answers to all these questions, and many
more, on our brand new Website, which remains accessible
at www.kolchai.org. We are extremely grateful to Michael
Collins (yes, the one who also edits Koleinu) and his team,
who have worked so hard and shown such determination
to make it happen. A dedicated group (Debbie Levy, Clair
Jossel and Nicky Bard) will now ensure that the website is
kept up to date.
Take a few minutes to get familiar with the layout. You
can move around in an intuitive and straightforward
manner, with a click taking you from a general description
of an event or activity to the information you need to
plan to come along. Enjoy the photographs, and a few
video clips, illustrating the text.
For an overall picture you have a monthly calendar and
a moving list of upcoming “highlights”. Members will be
equipped with a generic username and password to
facilitate access to certain restricted items.
The website will enhance our visibility and profile among
non-members, especially those searching for a friendly
and lively local Jewish community.
What is the next showing at the Film Club? Let’s watch
a trailer…
Peter Lewy
Highlighted fut
ure events...
...Video of Isr
aeli dancing
Day by day ca
lendar and fu
ll listing....
Matzah Ramble - read Mark's rambling piece page 9
Photo by Mark Samuels
Mark Levy Memorial Day
Mark your special
occasion, together
with the Community,
with a ...
Sponsored
Kiddush
th
Sunday 18 September 2011
On 25th July 2010 Kol Chai member, Mark Levy (aged 53) lost his fight
for life, just 3 weeks after being diagnosed with lung cancer. Up until
then he had been full of energy, cycling every weekend, running
regularly, and working almost 24/7 to provide for his family.
His larger than life personality is missed by everybody, particularly
his numerous close friends and, most of all, his children, Daniel, Amy
and Beth. As a tribute to Mark, and in order to raise funds for the Roy
Castle Foundation (the only charity in the UK dedicated to lung cancer),
his children and friends are organising the ‘Mark Levy Memorial Day’ on
Sunday 18th September. This will be a bike ride and walk, suitable for all
the family and all abilities, followed by tea and entertainment at the
Café in the Park in Rickmansworth Aquadrome.
For further information log on to www.marklevy.co.uk or call
Debbie Levy on 07743 056543.
BARTS INSURANCE BROKERS LTD
4 Queensbury Circle Parade
off Charlton Road, Stanmore, Middx
THE ALL ROUND
PROFESSIONAL SERVICE
Motor, Household, Commercial
Special discounts available for Kol Chai Members
TEL: Jonathan Baxter - 020 8206 0088
2
All members of Kol Chai will
be pleased to know that your
ritual committee have come up
with a really innovative
proposal. The sponsored
Kiddush. No need to wait for
that special occasion or
birthday to provide a Kiddush
for your fellow congregants.
You can now sponsor a Kiddush
at any time during the year
by contacting Colin Stupack
and sorting out a suitable date.
You can sponsor a Kiddush in
your family name, in the name
of a late loved one, in the
name of your company,
practice or organisation in fact
anything you wish to name or
commemorate that is of
course acceptable. You can
even choose from our new
range of Kiddushim. The cost
of a Kiddush on a Shabbat
morning is £50 and all you have
to do is contact Colin for a
suitable date and the rest will
be organised for you. Very easy
– so get your diaries out and
phone Colin to arrange your
sponsored Kiddush before all
the dates disappear.
Contact Colin Stupack
email: [email protected]
Or telephone Home: 020
8868 9311
Work: 020 8903 9900
Let The Silver Anniversary
Celebrations Begin
Get These Dates into your Diary Now!
This Simchat Torah (19th & 20th October) marks Kol Chai’s 25th anniversary and there will be a
number of celebratory aspects to the services.
Next is a Very Special Celebration Shabbat with VIP guests on Shabbat 19th November followed by a lavish, catered kiddush/lunch. Please let the office know if you plan to come so we
can plan the catering.
A few weeks later, on Saturday 26th November, there will be a Grand Silver Anniversary Party
with dancing to a live band and wonderful food. Look out for your invitation which will be on its way
shortly.
Most Social and Cultural groups within Kol Chai will be organising something special in addition to
their regular activities. Everyone is welcome to attend, whether or not you are a regular visitor to
any of these activities, so why not try something new? Here are some of the first events to be
confirmed. Look out for further details on the website: www.kolchai.org, in the weekly email and
in later editions of the Diary.
25
Kol Chai Choir:
25
Music Society:
25
Adult Education:
is holding a singing workshop open to everyone, regardless of voice or ability to read
music, with the renowned and aptly named singer and teacher, Judith Silver on Sunday
4th September from 5 - 7 pm. Learn new songs and enjoy some home-made cakes for
tea! Book via the office. £10 for Kol Chai members; £12 for non-members; £5 for
children (under 18).
has a Desert Island Discs event at the Synagogue on Sunday 11th September, starring Rabbi
Michael Hilton and marking his 10th anniversary with Kol Chai. Find out what discs he’s chosen
and maybe his book and luxury!
'Carry on Learning' has invited Keith Kahn-Harris on Tuesday 20th September talking about the
demographic trends of British Jewry over the past 25 years and looking forward to the next 25. Coauthor of Turbulent Times: The British Jewish Community Today, he’s a sociologist, researcher, writer
and music critic, Honorary Research Fellow at the Centre for Religion and Contemporary Society at
Birkbeck College, an associate lecturer for the Open University and the convenor of New Jewish Thought.
25
Bridge Club:
25
Film Club:
our popular club is planning an evening of Bridge with a few twists at their monthly
meeting on Sunday 25th September.
is planning a special film night and the audience will enjoy a glass of wine with their usual
lavish refreshments after the screening, on Sunday 13th November.
3
Zionism: a Jewish response
New pamphlet by leading Rabbis responds
to the increased hostility to Zionism
Christians are becoming less sympathetic to Israel and
are unlikely to describe themselves as Zionists, while over
a quarter regard Zionism as “colonialist” and “resulting
in racial discrimination”.
These are the core findings of new research conducted
to mark the publication of a pamphlet written by leading
rabbis and thinkers on behalf of the Board of Deputies of
British Jews. The pamphlet seeks to address a growing
concern amongst the UK Jewish community that Christians
are too ready to dismiss Zionism as “a political movement”
of “only incidental importance” to Judaism, rather than
a central facet of Jewish identity.
The pamphlet entitled Zionism: a Jewish Communal
Response from the UK, follows the publication almost
exactly a year ago by Palestinian Christian leaders of a
document named Kairos Palestine, which is perceived as
dismissive of Jewish connections with the land of Israel.
Kairos Palestine was extensively quoted in the subsequent
decision by UK Methodists to support a boycott of Israeli
goods.
In response to such trends - which are confirmed by
today’s survey results - the Editor of the pamphlet, Lucian
Hudson, asks:
“Given the antipathy of some Christians to this central
aspect of Jewish identity, one has to ask how welcome
Jesus – a Jew – would be in largely Christian Bethlehem
this Christmas?”
The pamphlet comprises essays from Rabbi Dr. Tony
Bayfield, former Head of the Movement for Reform
Judaism; Rabbi Jonathan Wittenberg, the Senior Rabbi
of the Assembly of Masorti Synagogues; Rabbi Danny Rich,
the Chief Executive of Liberal Judaism and leading
Orthodox thinker, Dan Rickman, as well as a foreword by
the President of the Board of Deputies, Vivian Wineman.
In it, they argue that both Jews and Christians –
including Palestinian Christians – need to acknowledge
the depth of each others’ historic and religious connections
with the land of Israel if progress is to be made towards
peace.
Rabbi Bayfield argues that “Jews and Judaism would
not have survived and could not survive today without
the Land of Israel. It is clear that the treatment of Jews
both in Christian and Muslim lands creates an undeniable
practical and moral entitlement.”
Rabbi Wittenberg puts up a different argument that
“The ethical visions of both Christianity and Islam would
be unthinkable without the background of the Judaism of
the Land of Israel, which gave birth to their central
principles.”
Dan Rickman highlights that love of Zion is an integral
part of Judaism and Jewish identity. He says: “So intrinsic
is this relationship that we read from Psalm 137 ‘How
shall we sing the Lord’s song in a foreign land?’ – in other
words, how can the Children of Israel continue traditions
outside the Land of Israel?”
But all the writers agree with the contention in Rabbi
Rich’s essay that “concerning Israel/Palestine, there
appear to be two valid narratives…” and continues “Israel
and Palestine – or at least persons claiming to act on their
behalf – are both perpetrators and victims of wrongdoing,
and playing the victim brings neither merit nor progress.”
The trend amongst Christians to disassociate
themselves from traditional support for Israel is borne
out by a survey published today of around 150 Jews and
Christians by Fodip, The Forum for Discussion of Israel
and Palestine.
Over half of the respondents believed that Christians
in general are “becoming less sympathetic to Israel” with
fewer than one in twenty believing that “Christians are
and remain strong supporters of Israel.”
Fewer than one in five of the Christians polled said
that they would describe themselves as “Zionist” with over
a quarter agreeing with a statement that “Zionism is a
colonial movement, which - while not racist in intent - has
resulted in racial discrimination”.
Rt Rev Nigel McCulloch, Bishop of Manchester and
Chairman of Council of Christians and Jews (UK), adds:
“The pamphlet, Zionism: a Jewish Communal Response
is a very timely contribution to an area of interfaith
confusion, misunderstanding and heart-felt passion. The
fact that three of CCJ’s Jewish Presidents have contributed
to this important piece is indicative of its relevance and
urgency to Jewish – Christian dialogue. The pamphlet is
sensitive and reiterates CCJ’s call for all to listen to the
two narratives with gentleness and empathy. These essays
may be targeted at a Christian audience but there is much
in here for all to learn and heed, whatever our faith.”
Download your copy of Zionism: A Jewish Communal
Response from the UK from:
http://www.bod.org.uk/file/
ZionismAJewishCommunalResponse.pdf
From the Movement for Reform Judaism
4
Looking through varifocal lenses –
close contact being important
… Is anything that bit clearer seen through our
Chairman’s eyes?
exclaimed “That’s where it went!” and started booking
the next ferry to what he insisted on pronouncing O’ban
to recover his misappropriated club. But ‘twas easy to
restrain him and pre-empt any cross-sea Celtic cudgel
quarrel, just by playing the guilty chord on his fiddle. He
thinks he’s busy, with crucial evening pursuits:
Ballykissangel, alphabetically ordering his CDs and combing
the dogs’ fleas (he’s ambidextrous – note the apostrophic
clue). “Three noble pursuits”, I assured him, proceeding
to explain how he might enjoy occasionally breaking his
established routine: attending a service (e.g. short Friday
one with shared meal); joining a discussion (e.g. Torah
breakfast – supplied); watch a film (great tuck
afterwards); or join a communal walk (ice cold Guinness
the pot at the end of that rainbow). It was only then I
discovered he isn’t in fact Jewish – but he promised to
recommend our shul activities to all his friends anyway.
All this set me musing about a very busy first half year
in sole charge (Yes, I am ‘charged’ with any number of
wrongdoings – omission or commission). These are
exciting, busy times at Kol Chai, with the strong wind of
change, or potential change, in the air – http://
www.kolchai.org being just one aspect of that. Too much
is happening for me to set out here (or Ed’s trimming
shears will be hastily wielded) – there are now nine active
teams working on various matters, including much work
to celebrate our imminent quarter century. All those
burgeoning groups: anyone would think there’s a Civil
Servant at the helm.
Three closing thoughts:
- ‘Your’ Management Committee (not ‘they’ as
sometimes labelled) will offer a view on the New
Community proposal but first wanted to consult widely
via Pete Martin’s KC & Others group and open meetings –
obviously, no major decision will be taken without a
members’ mandate;
- Many members volunteer their time to arrange a
panoply of activities (or organise aspects of Community
life) – you are all a welcome part of our Community, so
please dip your toe in the water, join in and I’m confident
you will be glad you did so;
- Finally, if marrying soon and hyphenating your
surnames, avoid traps like Hardy-Harr or, maybe more
Jewishly conceivable, Mr McDonald marrying Miss Berger
(cuttings I recently received).
Peter Gartenberg
Chairman
Another difficult task from our beloved, websiteproducing Editor (I trust he doesn’t anticipate the highly
praised new website will make Koleinu redundant). He
‘asked’ me to focus this month on “nothing much …
certainly nothing serious”. My fears of no-one reading
this article were swiftly allayed, as that is apparently “par
for the course”. So it’s just the focus bit I have been
wrestling with.
So would you, after a voluntary weekend visit to – you
weren’t expecting this – Birmingham. Why? Not too far to
drive; plenty of National Trust properties nearby; our son,
Alastair, is apparently studying there; and we randomly
had a local A-Z (invaluable as our first experience with
Lady Tom-Tom was her 100% incorrect insistence to “take
a U-turn as soon as possible”). We did lots of culture, fed
Alastair to help him soak up post-exam alcohol, scraped
clean the communal kitchen (more cultures – flatmates
clearly biologists) and crammed our car with smelly clothes
– leaving Ali behind for more bacchanalia. … But he’s a
good lad, really – well, that’s what we’re telling the parents
whose kids he’ll be leading at Shemesh.
In the Midlands, my thoughts turned to out of town
friends, all three:
• First, my Welsh buddy, Dai Chotomy: he informed
me over a Caerphilly cheese roll (not a leek in sight – it
was hidden under the cheese) that he’d heard all about
Kol Chai’s plans for improving what we offer and how we
operate but also that, he thought conflictingly, we were
actively investigating forming a New Community with
neighbouring shuls. I quickly disposed of his confusion by
clarifying that we intend to try and raise our game anyway,
for instance, by tackling our hitherto lack of active
marketing. One mention of try and tackle and he just
burst into song.
• Secondly, Scottish pal, ‘Amish MacNeedy: does he
live a spartan life or what? I banged away at him, pleading
for greater domestic efficiency – that seemed to strike a
chord (without him striking me). He liked the ‘no-brainer’
of using our website button www.thegivingmachine.co.uk
at no cost whatsoever, to funnel percentages of his weekly
grocery shop (money, not food) to his nominated charity.
Indeed, one deep-fried Mars bar dissolved by two gills of
25-year old Glenfiddich later, he was putty in my hands –
threatening that any internet-shopping KC members who
didn’t start using GivingMachine forthwith would feel the
blunt end of his shillelagh (bizarrely).
• Hearing that, my Irish mucker, Shameus O’Lordy,
5
“Fancy jumping off Guy’s
Hospital tower Dad?”
Raise money for a good cause; sponsored cycle ride or walk
perhaps? No, not Robert Burkeman ...
Life has its ups and downs, but on Sunday 6th March it was
especially one of downs. The charity Tzedek, which seeks
to raise awareness, educate and encourage Jews to
recognise, understand and act on their Jewish
responsibilities concerning extreme poverty around the
world, and at which my daughter Libby is Director of
Education, had decided, as a method of raising money, to
do an abseil.
What is an abseil you may ask; well contrary to popular
belief, it is not quite jumping off a building - that conjures
up a rather messy outcome to the entire adventure, and,
subsequently, no way of conveying what really happened.
The mere fact that I am writing this, after the event,
means that I didn’t actually jump (or if I did I had a rather
soft landing)!
No, rather than jump, after being secured in a harness,
one lowers oneself over the edge of the building, perhaps
a tad gingerly, and then proceeds to continue lowering
oneself to the bottom of the building.
As luck would have it this daring/reckless/stupid/
foolhardy (delete those of your choice) activity took place
down the Guy’s Hospital tower, the tallest hospital tower
in the world, standing at 469ft. The roof of the tower
offering panoramic views of London, which included
looking down on Tower Bridge and the river Thames, and
looking at train tracks, which appeared like the greatest
working model railway in the world.
More than thirty of us, intrepid to the core, took part
in this activity, including Libby and my daughter-in-law,
Micol. I have to say that they almost sauntered down the
side of the tower, stopping every few yards to take in
what was a truly magnificent panorama, whereas I, perhaps
wondering why I had decided to do this in the first place,
decided to get to the bottom as quickly as I could, with
my eyes riveted to the grey concrete of the tower wall, no
panoramic sightseeing for me at that stage. Although I
must say that I really enjoyed the fifteen minutes spent
taking in the amazing views from the roof, before the
actual descent.
Tzedek raised about £17,000 through this activity, for
what is a really worthy cause and everyone got to the
bottom of the building without injury to person or pride.
Of course, should there have been any accidents, the fact
that the location was Guy’s Hospital....
If Kol Chai decides to undertake such an activity, I may
not be first in the queue, I guess the current Chairman
may beat me to it, but I would be pleased/stupid enough/
happy (delete those of your choice) to participate.
Should you like to learn more about Tzedek you can
visit their website www.tzedek.org.uk
Robert Burkeman
6
Towards food sustainability at
Kol Chai
For 2011 the Assembly of Rabbis and the Reform
Movement are promoting a major food
sustainability initiative for discusssion and
implementation by synagogues.
A recent adult education evening held at Kol Chai studied
some Jewish texts on the environment, and then went on
to make some suggestions for us as a community. Kol
Chai has had a fair trade policy since 2003, which is
promoted by a notice in the kitchen, but it is not easily
implemented because we are a grass roots community,
where everyone is entitled to an opinion and many
different groups get involved with catering.
So we have come up with some suggestions, most of
them fairly simple, which might be feasible:
· Fish None of us were really sure which fish to buy—
which are endangered and which are OK. We thought it
would be a good idea to have some information on our
website. The Greenpeace website has a useful list to which
we could link.
· Honey The movement is promoting the idea that
communities could produce their own honey for Rosh
HaShanah. We thought it would be a good idea to find out
if anyone keeps bees in the community, and if such an
idea might be feasible.
· Eggs We felt Kol Chai should ban battery eggs.
· Gardening All of those who have gardens grow
some fruit and vegetables in their gardens. We discovered
an amazing variety of produce grown. We could promote
this and perhaps, as some communities do, have a
gardening group, or even a community allotment.
· Organic veg boxes 40% of those who came to our
discussion have organic vegetables and/or fruit delivered.
This too could be advertised and promoted. The veg boxes
use fewer food miles and packaging. We should provide
information on local veg boxes and farmers’markets
· Food Waste We realise that a lot of food gets
wasted at Kol Chai because we tend to over cater. We
need to estimate quantities more carefully, and take food
home rather than leaving it in the fridge. Chavurah meals
are much less wasteful because people bring a dish from
home and take home the bowl with the remaining food.
For this reason it seems eco-friendly to promote chavurah
style meals rather than catered whenever possible.
· Paper plates etc. We could probably manage to
avoid these more often, and we need to research which
ones are more eco-friendly. We felt it important to try to
cut the use of paper plates and cups.
· Water With a drought looming, we are all going to
have to save water, and the synagogue has to play its
part.
· Office paper We felt that printing should be done
double sided whenever possible.
The chair of Harrow Agenda 21 (http://
www.harrowagenda21.org), Mick Oliver, was at the
meeting. Harrow is fortunate in having this active
environmental group which works closely with Harrow
Council. I have been asked to send a report about what
we are doing for their June newsletter. We could invite
them to speak on another occasion and/or show the DVD
they have made on waste disposal.
Congregants from a local church attended the meeting.
They have been having similar discussions about what
they can do. This seems to be an area of potential cooperation.
I welcome suggestions from anyone reading this about
how to promote and implement these ideas.
Rabbi Michael Hilton
[email protected]
Should Kol Chai have an environmental
policy? If so, what should it cover?
Do write to Koleinu with your views.
From Sima Blackman
I would like to take this opportunity to
thank Rabbi Hilton for his kind and sensitive
words at Douggie's stone-setting.
It is at times like these when we realise
what a caring community we are. From the
moment Douggie's condition was first
diagnosed we received nothing less from all
the members than their continuous care and
support.
I thank you all and pray that Hashem will
bless you.
23rd March 2011
7
Kol Chai Religion School first to win Silver
Quality Framework Award
Kol Chai has become the first
Jewish organisation to achieve a
Government backed award for quality
in supplementary education.
The Quality Framework Award is
made in recognition of the delivery
of a high level of community based
supplementary education. Kol Chai’s
cheder was awarded the Silver Quality
Framework Award, having achieved
the Bronze level earlier in the year.
The Continyou Quality Framework
for Supplementary Education scheme
is supported by the Department for
Education and administered by the
National Resource Centre, as an
independent, voluntary and peerassessed scheme. It aims to celebrate
and record the achievements of
supplementary schools and improve
quality across the sector.
Jacky Martin says: “Kol Chai was
formed 25 years ago and one of the
founding principles and desires was
to offer our members the highest
quality in Jewish education. Our
Sunday school has always had a
reputation for being somewhere that
children enjoy learning through
informal, fun and an engaging
environment. The recognition gained
from this award is testament to the
hard work and dedication shown by
our team of teachers, both now and
over the years. It is something of
which our whole community should be
justly proud.”
Following the assessment Kol Chai
was especially commended for the
outstanding quality of the school
lesson plans and range of resources.
David Martin
The Giving Machine
A brilliant new way to raise money for Kol Chai
which won’t cost you a penny!
Nearly everyone uses the internet on a daily basis for on-line purchases. Whether it’s to purchase the latest
music CD from Amazon.com, a printer cartridge from Viking or a new coffee maker from John Lewis. To
make a donation you won’t need to alter your buying habits or probably even the websites that you’re
currently using.
All you need to do is nominate Kol Chai as your preferred charity on The Giving Machine website http://
www.thegivingmachine.co.uk
Then, by making The Giving Machine website your “gateway” to all your favourite shopping sites, whenever
you make a purchase, a percentage (between 1% to 7%) of the amount that you spend with any of the shops
listed on the Giving Machine website will be donated to the synagogue. You won’t just be making that all
important purchase for yourself, but you’ll also be making a donation to Kol Chai. It’s that simple!
For full details of all the companies in the scheme visit http://www.thegivingmachine.co.uk/
special_offers.php?cat=all#H
8
Reform Movement gives approval for Same-Sex
Commitment ceremonies for Jewish couples
The Assembly of Rabbis statement provides guidelines allowing
each community to decide its own approach, but does allow the
term 'marriage service' to be used if all parties agree.
Assembly of Reform Rabbis Guidelines for Civil
Partnerships and Same-Sex Commitment Ceremonies
for Jewish couples
Good Jewish relationships are based on an ethic of
commitment, kedushah and loyalty. Relationships should
be stable, faithful, loving and enriching in every sense
and not exploitative in any sense. This must apply to all
relationships, be they heterosexual or homosexual.
When a couple gets married under the chuppah, they
are making a public commitment before God and the
community, wishing to separate their relationship from
any others they have or will have. It is an act of kiddushin:
separating themselves off to and for each other; as well
as nissuin: raising their relationship beyond the realm of
the ordinary and everyday.
Such a religious ceremony must honour any committed
relationship. A chuppah goes beyond the ceremony required
by the law of the land and declares that this is an equal
spiritual relationship with reciprocal rights and
responsibilities.
Only in recent times have same-sex couples been able
to seek appropriate religious ceremonies to express their
love, shared commitment, values and ideals in the same
way that heterosexual couples have always been able to
do. While some same-sex couples may regard marriage
as an inherently heterosexual institution, there is now a
significant majority who want a religious ceremony within
the sanctity of Jewish community, tradition and practice.
We wish to encourage and enable ceremonies which enjoy
the same religious status as the heterosexual ceremony
whilst recognising difference.
English law does not require a prior Civil Partnership
ceremony before a same-sex religious ceremony can take
place. Apart from issues of legal parity with heterosexual
relationships, without a Civil Partnership ceremony, a longterm same-sex partner might end up with no legal rights
as next of kin in the event of death of their partner. We
require, therefore, that rabbis only conduct same-sex
commitment ceremonies when a Civil Partnership
ceremony has already taken place.
The ceremony
Practice will vary from community to community and
rabbis will develop an appropriate ceremony for each
couple in the same way that they do with any heterosexual
marriage they conduct. Suggested ceremonies are
available for those interested.
Further questions
Rabbis may want to talk to the couple about what an
appropriate vocabulary for same-sex partnership
ceremonies is: ‘marriage service’; ‘consecration of
relationship’; chuppah, kiddushin, nissuin; ‘service of
commitment’. They may also want to discuss with the
couple about whether the traditional haray at…k’dat
moshe v’yisrael formula is appropriate in a same-sex
partnership context.
Dissolution
In the sad event of the ending of a civil partnership,
English Law provides guidelines for the legal dissolution
of that partnership, which parallel the dissolution of a
heterosexual marriage. We would strongly recommend
that the Beit Din issues a Get for a same-sex couple just
as it does for a heterosexual couple.
Synagogue matters
Same-sex couples should be considered in exactly the
same way as any other membercouple in the synagogue
regarding membership, burial.
What is your view about same sex
partnerships being confirmed in a religious
ceremony?
Write to Koleinu with your view.
From Freddy Berdach
Dear Editor,
I was quite disturbed that the Assembly of Rabbis of
the Reform Movement has voted to marry same sex
couples. I fully understand that we must be inclusive
to as many people as we can, but I think that this is a
step too far.
Jewish tradition has always upheld the sanctity of
marriage between a man and a woman and this is going
right against the teaching of Judaism. I have no
problems if two people of the same sex are living
together and share a happy life with one another. But
to give the stamp of approval from the community, and
society, is going beyond what is right.
Rabbis may want to talk to the couple
about what an appropriate vocabulary
for same-sex partnership ceremonies is:
‘marriage service’; ‘consecration of
relationship’; chuppah, kiddushin,
nissuin; ‘service of commitment’.
9
New members given a warm welcome
Thanks to the hospitality of Helen Shapiro, the
welcoming evening for new (or nearly new) members of
Kol Chai was a great success.
This was no hard sell to boost Saturday morning
attendance figures at the Synagogue but a genuine warm
£9,763 raised for Royal British
Legion
Last November, collecting over several days at Ruislip
Waitrose, Wally Hart, together with his colleague Tom
Wetherall (second from right in the picture), raised £9,763
for the Royal British Legion. During one of the days they
were visited by a Warrant Officer and several Flight
Sergeants from RAF Northolt.
welcome, that resulted in a pleasant feeling of well-being
– aided by a generous abundance of wine (and soft drinks),
followed by irresistible tea, coffee and cakes – sounds
good , eh?; well, it was.
To paraphrase Rabbi Michael Hilton, in a conversation
I had with him about the early days of Kol Chai, the
Synagogue is not about a building, it’s about a Community.
As a comparatively ‘new’ member of Kol Chai, I can
honestly say that the representatives of the Community
who attended that evening were welcoming and friendly
and, most importantly, inclusive of everyone. From
speaking to other new members that night, it was clear
that receiving such an approach of obvious genuine
warmth created an ambience of belonging to a community
and encouraged a desire to participate in some of the
many activities and projects available at Kol Chai.
To say that the ‘extra curricula’ goodies offered by Kol
Chai are eclectic is almost an understatement. The wide
variety of choice does seem to be an attractive feature
of the Kol Chai Community and long may it continue.
Ken Shaw
Kol Chai's Pesach on the move
Great Missenden tempted Kol Chai,
So we went for a walk up on high
It was called Matzah Ramble
T’was really an amble
And here is the reason why.
Fifty people, three dogs, did the walk
And stood around having a talk
Queueing up at the stiles
Over roughly five miles
With nothing to do but just gawk
Tony Etkind led us with delight
Lesley counted us till we were right
The sun shone down brightly
Our members were sprightly
And some even spotted a Kite
In a field we sat down for our lunch
With most of us all in one bunch
Everyone felt at home,
And the dogs got a comb
Till we finally ended our munch
After all came an invite for tea
From Reva and Robert we see
Thanks to all for the day
What more can one say
How’s about another one just as good for next
Pesach?
And very many thanks for the organisers of this
lovely day
Mark Samuels
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Bob Blackman MP speaks out against
BBC anti-Israel bias
Anti-Israeli feeling is stoking anti-Semitism in the UK and
should be countered by Jews by challenging the press where
there is bias.
The second of our newly reinvigorated adult education
programme meetings took place in
March attended by about 40 people.
The speaker was Bob Blackman
M.P., Conservative M.P. for Harrow
East and his subject was antiSemitism in British Society. He is a
member of the Parliamentary All-Party
Committee on Anti-Semitism.
Mr. Blackman arrived slightly late
and in his apology included an
affectionate leg-pull that it was not
unknown for Jewish meetings to start
late. He told us that when he was a
boy living in Wembley, he lived next
to one synagogue and not far from
another. He had lived in Wembley all
his life and had seen new minority
communities moving to the area and
he was, therefore, used to living in
the company both of Jewish people and
of other communities. Before
becoming an M.P. in 2010, he had been
a Brent Councillor.
The number of antiSemitic attacks had
increased over recent
years and it appeared
among some people to
be acceptable...
I found the picture he painted to
be depressing. The number of antiSemitic attacks had increased over
recent years and it appeared among
some people to be acceptable to talk
about Jews and Israel in a manner in
which it would not be socially (or
legally?) acceptable to talk about, for
example, black people. We are the
only minority in the U.K. which
requires security to protect itself from
racial attack, which is why the
Government had promised funds to
support the work of the CST. (Are we
the only minority? I wonder if any
Muslim or other minority communities
have to do the same?) Also, we should
remember that many private
organisations have to arrange their
own security to protect themselves,
although not necessarily from racial
attack). He recalled that Israeli
society contributes to scientific
advancement and cited the number
of patents that had been registered
in Israel (I have forgotten the
number) but that Iran had patented a
very small number (8?). He also
referred to Israeli work in developing
electric cars.
My interpretation of what he said
about the BBC was that he despaired
of its anti-Israel bias and drew
attention to an article in the Daily
Telegraph on the same day which
argued the same point. (The article
pointed out, amongst other things,
that the BBC had commissioned a
report into the existence or otherwise
of that bias and had then gone to
Court to prevent publication of the
results.)
He explained that (alleged) bias by
the fact that it has on its staff a large
number of university educated
researchers. The universities had
over the years, developed a bias
towards the Palestinian cause,
without any regard for an Israeli or
Jewish based perspective. I know
that we cannot change the past, but
are there lessons from how this has
happened that could teach us
something about how to reverse the
situation in future?
Our speaker took questions at the
end. He had offered to answer
questions on any topic, an offer that
he might have regretted when he was
asked about local NHS funding. His
answer seemed fluent but only the
questioner and others who know
12
about the topic will know if the reply
was satisfactory. One of the audience
commented that anti-Semitism was
due to ignorance.
Near the end of the meeting, Mr.
Blackman made one point of criticism
of the Jewish Community; we should
make more effort to challenge the
press and the BBC when we find
examples of what we believe to be
anti-Israel or anti-Jewish bias.
By way of contrast, Daniel
Finkelstein painted a more
encouraging picture at one of the
sessions at the Harrow one day
Limmud on 29th March. Speaking
under the heading, “Winning the
argument for Israel”, he praised the
effort of BICOM in putting Israel’s case
and he went on to say that his
newspaper receives a lot of comment/
correspondence/emails supporting
Israel and that his colleagues on his
paper know of that support. He was
firm that the Government is
committed to Israel’s continued
existence even if it does not always
agree with everything that Israel does.
As to left wing bias, he pointed out
that two of Israel’s greatest
supporters recently had come from the
centre-left, Tony Blair and Gordon
Brown.
There was another interesting
juxtaposition between the issues
flowing from Mr. Blackman’s talk and
Limmud. In another Limmud session,
“Taking about talked about Israel”,
we looked at perspective in the sense
of the perspective of the story teller.
My own views should be read in that
light but, whilst that may well be
correct for the direct participants in
the Israeli/Palestinian divide, why do
so may outsiders take only to the
Palestinian view and ignore the Israeli
position entirely?
John Sabel
New Jack Petchey Award winners
More Kol Chai young members given Achievement Awards
The following young people have
been presented with the Award this
year:Jamie Munk, Zac Morrison, Ben
Shapiro, Jamie Reed and David
Robinson. All winners have contributed
to various Kol Chai activities as well
as in the wider community.
The Jack Petchey Foundation gives
grants to programmes and projects
that benefit young people aged 1125. Through the Jack Petchey
Achievement Award Scheme, the
Foundation helps young people in the
London and Essex area achieve their
potential, take advantage of
opportunities and play a full part in
society. Since its establishment in
1999 the Foundation has awarded
grants totalling over £65million.
Presentation of three award winners Ben Shapiro (left), Jamie Reed (centre), David Robinson (right) receiving their
Achievement Awards at the Lag B’Omer picnic which took place at Religion School on 22nd May.
Volunteering should be mutual and reciprocal
There’s no doubt, people are
tightening their belts with a knockon effect on donations to charity. But
even if money is tight, you can always
donate your free time, and
volunteering can lead to paid work.
Younger people often volunteer out
of altruism – as does everybody – but
also to get experience to help to get
a job, or improve a CV for a university
application. Middle aged people often
volunteer in areas directly affecting
their parents – in residential or care
homes.
Older people often talk about
volunteering as giving them a reason
to get up in the morning. It
encourages them to get out and, as
an example, visit our residents at
Belmont Lodge. Everyone volunteers
because they like to feel needed.
Everyone gets something out of the
relationship and it is of mutual
benefit. That is why volunteering is
so important.
Volunteering may have changed
over the past few years, but it is still
fundamental to Jewish existence. The
Jewish community’s attitude to
volunteering has also changed and we
must now ensure that we continue to
attract volunteers from all walks of
life in order to sustain services.
So what’s changed? Years ago,
those who had no need, helped those
who were in need. Women formed the
main body of the volunteer workforce,
while their husbands were our
financial benefactors.
The issues the community faced
included poverty and poor housing.
Today, men and women work and more
people than ever live in single
occupancy households. Today’s issues
that we need to tackle range from
stress-related illnesses and
unemployment to care for the elderly.
One of the things we all receive out
of volunteering, apart from a sense
of doing a mitzvah, is what makes us
uniquely human; a sense of needing
to be needed. And if we can do that
while celebrating the contribution
everyone makes, we will all have
13
achieved something wonderful – for
ourselves, for our Jewish community
and ultimately for the wider
community around us.
My philosophy on volunteering is
that it should be mutual and
reciprocal. There are enormous
benefits to be gained from moving
away from ‘givers and receivers’ and
towards understanding that we all
have something to give and
something to receive and there should
be no barriers as to when and how we
do that.
If you would like to have more
information on volunteering for
Belmont Lodge or know someone who
can no longer manage on his or her
own, please contact us.
We are a supported sheltered home
for the elderly; a friendly home, where
one can find security and
companionship at very reasonable
prices.
Admissions Secretary: Jane Kessler
0208 455 3652 [email protected]
Freddy Berdach
P
Joke Corner
David Goldman
suggests books for
you to borrow from
the Kol Chai library
Judaism on trial, Hyam Macoby: An
account of the three great medieval
debates at which Jewish Rabbis were
forced, with considerable success, to
defend their faith.
Creation and Guilt, Ignaz Maybaum:
This theological assessment of
Freud’s father/son conflict, examines
the sub-conscious hatred that Freud
felt for his father. It is a plea for
Jewish-Christian-Islamic discussion.
The Family Orchard, Naomi Eve: A
magical multigenerational saga,
encompassing two hundred years in
the life of an unforgettable family. Lust
and sex are the life forces here.
Ritual slaughter, Sidney Brichto:
Growing up Jewish in America.
Passover, Dr. Ron Wolfson: The
family guide to spiritual celebration.
A beautiful
photographic calendar
Created by Joshua Roston
to mark his
Bar Mitzvah is available
now from the
Synagogue Office.
Price £5 - all
profits from our
members’ sales
to Kol Chai.
- Jeff Young
Little Shmuely and Becky are only 10 years old but they know they are
in love.
One day they decide that they want to get married, so Shmuely goes to
Becky’s father to ask him for her hand. Shmuely bravely walks up to
him and says: “Mr Cohen, me and Becky are in love and I want to ask
you for her hand in marriage.”
Thinking that this was just a delightful thing, Mr Cohen replies: “Well
Shmuel you are only 10…Where will you two live?” Without even taking
a moment to think about it Shmuely replies: “In Becky’s room it’s bigger
than mine and we can both fit there nicely.” Still thinking this is just
endearing Mr Cohen says with a huge grin: “Okay, then how will you
live? You’re not old enough to get a job. You’ll need to support Becky.”
Again Shmuely instantly replies: “Our pocket money; Becky gets three
pounds a week and I get five pounds a week. That’s about thirty two
pounds a month, so that should do us just fine.” Mr Cohen is impressed
Shmuely has put so much thought into this. “Well Shmuel it seems like
you have everything worked out; I just have one more question. What
will you do if you have children of your own?” Shmuely just shrugs his
shoulders and says: “Well, we’ve been lucky so far.”
Moshe was sitting at the bar staring at his drink when a large troublemaking biker steps up next to him, grabs his drink and gulps it down in
one swig and menacingly says: “Thanks Jew boy, whatcha going to do
about it?” Moshe burst into tears. “Come on, man,” the biker says, “I
didn’t think you’d cry. I can’t stand to see a man crying. What’s your
problem?”
“This is the worst day of my life,” Moshe says. “I’m a complete failure.
I was late to a meeting and my boss fired me. When I went down to the
car park I found my car had been stolen and I’m not insured. I left my
wallet in the cab I took home and when I got there I found my wife
had run away with my next door neighbour and then, to top it all, the
dog bit me.”
“So I came to this bar to work up the courage to put an end to it all; I
buy a drink drop a capsule in and sit here watching the poison dissolve
when you show up and drink the whole thing!
”But enough about me, how’s your day going?”
Just before Rosh Hashanah, a team of terrorists invades the shul and
takes the Rabbi, the Chazan and the shul chairman hostage. Hours later
the negotiator stands tough; he won’t give them a million pounds nor a
getaway car or a jumbo jet. The terrorists gather the three hostages in
a corner and inform them that things look bad and they’re going to have
to shoot them. Nevertheless, to show that they’re not really a bad
bunch, they’ll grant each hostage one wish.
“Please,” says the rabbi: “for the last two months I’ve been working on
my Rosh Hashanah sermon. What a waste to die now without having
read it before an audience. I’ll go happily if you let me recite my
sermon. It’s an hour and thirty minutes long, tops.” The terrorists
promise to grant the wish.
“Please,” says the cantor: “after 50 years I’ve finally gotten the
Hinneni prayer just right. What a waste to die and not sing it to an
audience. It’s only about 45 minutes long; then I’ll go happily.” The
terrorists promise to grant the cantor his wish, too, and they turn to
the shul chairman.
“Please,” says the chairman with tears in his eyes: “Shoot me first!”
14
Miso, Wasabi, Soy Sauce - what's going on at
Kol Chai?
An inviting aroma of miso, wasabi and soy sauce wafted
through the hall of 434 Uxbridge Road one Sunday evening
in March together with the sound of chopping, the
occasional cry of “another plate here” in the background;
not what you’d expect.
This was the scene for Stuart Gould’s Sushi
demonstration – the first for him and definitely a first for
Kol Chai. Over sixty eager and hungry enthusiasts arrived
to learn the traditional skills of ‘Maki Roll’ making and
Stuart didn’t disappoint.
He delivered a thoroughly competent and entertaining
demonstration, explaining what to do with seaweed, raw
salmon (sashimi), sticky Japanese rice and Nigiri in terms
that a culinary novice could easily grasp.
Stuart insisted that this has been merely a seven year
hobby for him - cooking for family and friends - but on
this evidence it could be the start of a new cookery
workshop career! He sliced, chopped and rolled expertly
for an hour and a half.
Meanwhile, our dedicated team of sous-chefs, Riva
Braham, Janet Lipton, Ros van Straten, Rebecca Decker
and Anthony Etkind (otherwise known as The Social
Committee), were slaving away in the kitchen to produce
bowls of steaming Miso soup for all. They had also
managed to prepare sixty individual plates of sushi,
wasabi and ginger displayed in strikingly elegant, oriental
fashion. All and all it was a very successful and delicious
evening.
A spontaneous appeal for the Japanese Tsunami raised
£130.
Lesley Etkind
59 Belmont Road, Bushey, Herts
We offer friendly homely, secure and loving care
for our residents along with many stimulating
weekly activities:
• Bridge
• Discussion Group
• Handicrafts
• Growing plants for our
lovely garden
• Visits to local places of interest
and much more.
En Suite - Kosher Catering – Communal Sun Lounge
VERY REASONABLE RATES.
Do you have a relative who may be interested in
becoming a resident at Belmont Lodge?
Would you like to join our vibrant team of
volunteers who organise, transport or escort our
residents on various outings and friendship clubs?
If so please contact:
Freddy Berdach
01923 822919
15
House Manager
Sue Parfitt
01923 213964
Kol Chai Walking Club raises £175 for WJR
the UK Jewish community. They provide basic welfare
support in the form of food, medication and fuel as well
as sustaining and renewing Jewish life in communities
across the world. In addition WJR channels the UK Jewish
community’s response to disasters and need all over the
world regardless of race, religion or nationality. For more
information visit the website: www.wjr.org
Milly Lewy
In June the Kol Chai Walking Club held a bagel lunch in
Rickmansworth, after their regular monthly walk and
raised over £175 for WJR’s Big Bagel campaign. There
were thirty three walkers - plus one lovely Dalmatian dog
- who all enjoyed a leisurely stroll through Croxley Green
and Harrocks Wood, before tucking into bagels, fruit and
homemade cake courtesy of the organisers, Lesley Etkind,
Vivien Collins and Milly Lewy.
Founded in 1933, WJR is the main overseas aid arm of
Film Director discusses his representation of Welsh life in his film
'Sleep Furiously'
A record fifty plus people attended “Sleep Furiously”,
the May film screening at Kol Chai. Director Gideon Koppel
was present and explained the thinking and background
behind his documentary which features Trefeurig, the
Welsh farming community in Ceredigion in Wales where
he grew up.
The film explores the lives of the villagers whose
community is being stripped of its assets as families, pubs,
schools, shops and public transport disappear in a hopeless
struggle with urbanisation. It shows events that pass
beneath the radar of most visitors to the countryside, the
social life that glues communities together, the cycles of
birth, productive life and death that apply to animals as
well as people.
Several of the audience had Welsh connections and were
intrigued by the film which prompted many questions and
much discussion. Views were divided over whether we
should consider the film as a literal portrait of rural life
or, as the Director explained, an artistic representation
where local people had “acted” scenes for the benefit of
the documentary and should not all be taken at face value.
On 10th July, the Film Club offers a complete contrast
with a screening of the American romantic comedy
“Arranged”, based on a true story about an Orthodox
Jewish teacher who befriends a Muslim colleague and
discovers that both women have families who are planning
arranged marriages on their behalf.
Milly Lewy
16
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17
Kol Chai
Tots' Shabbat
Informal and
interactive Shabbat
fun for the under 5s
with singing, stories
and Kiddush.
Come along and join
in the fun.
Held on the first
Saturday of each
month.
Phase 8 Alarms
020 8863 8792
9.30am—10.15am
at the synagogue
prior to the main
service.
Members and nonmembers welcome.
Email: [email protected]
Your Local Gold Approved
Family Run Intruder Alarm Company
Want to know more?
Phone Jacky Martin
01923 825409
Established in 1968
BELAIR
RICKMANSWORTH ROAD
NORTHWOOD HA6 2QW
Reservations : 01923 822206
Fax: 01923 836293
www.Belairrestaurant.co.uk
December Festivities
Dine & Dance throughout December.
Greek dancing, smashing of plates,
belly dancer and music from the 60s,
70s, 80s, 90s and noughties from
professional DJs!
18
The Belair Restaurant is ideal for
Office Parties, Birthdays, Bar
Mitzvahs, Hen Parties or whatever you
are celebrating.
Open on Christmas Day &
Boxing Day lunch. Book now for
Christmas Eve & News Years Eve.
Kol Chai Hatch End Jewish Community
A member of the Movement
for Reform Judaism
434 Uxbridge Road, Hatch End, Middlesex HA5 4RG
Telephone: 020 8421 5482 Website: www.kolchai.org
Charities Registration No. 299063
Help and Contacts
Tel.
Email
Rabbi
Rabbi Dr Michael Hilton
020 8906 8241
[email protected]
Chairman:
Peter Gartenberg
01895 639270
[email protected]
Vice-Chairmen:
Keith Leaman
07976 403359
[email protected]
Paul Decker
01923 826347
[email protected]
Hon. Treasurer:
Mike Cass
020 8420 1613
[email protected]
Joint Hon. Secretaries:
Ruth Mattison
020 8868 2276
[email protected]
David Mattison
020 8868 2276
[email protected]
House:
Martin Brownstone
020 8866 2216
[email protected]
Head of Security:
Gary Latchman
07896 044370
[email protected]
Assistant Head of Security:
Phil Colton
07712 009411
External Communications:
Milly Lewy
01923 771856
[email protected]
Membership:
Helen Shapiro
01923 828692
[email protected]
Religion School Head Teacher:
Jacky Martin
01923 825409
[email protected]
Senior Warden:
Pete Martin
01923 825409
[email protected]
Building Manager:
Mike Cahillane
Contact via House
Synagogue Administrator:
Debbie Levy
020 8421 5482
[email protected]
Office open: Tuesdays to Fridays 9.00am-1.00pm
Help and advice:
In case of need we may be able to help or we may know of someone who can. Counselling is available
from a variety of sources for problems concerning health, children, handicap, bereavement, finances or
relationships.
Ruth Mattison
020 8868 2276
[email protected]
Bereavement:
Mark Samuels
020 8866 1202
Jewish Joint Burial Society (JJBS):
020 8989 5252
[email protected]
Bereavement Visiting Group Bette Fraser
020 8421 1964
Koleinu and Kol Chai Diary
Contributions:
Items for the Kol Chai Diary and Koleinu should be sent to:
The Editor: Michael Collins 22 Northfield Avenue, Pinner, Middx. HA5 1AL.
020 8866 5390
[email protected]
Koleinu Advertising:
Jeff Young
01923 840640
[email protected]
Publication Dates:
Koleinu published: March, June, September, December. Closing date for contributions: 10 days before
publication.
Kol Chai Diary: published each month. Closing date for contributions: 7 days before publication.The
opinions expressed in Koleinu and the Kol Chai Diary do not necessarily reflect the views of the
Management Committee.
19
B&K
SALT•BEEF•BAR
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B & K would like to welcome
all the community to its new
restaurant in hatch End.
Open 7 days week
10:30am - 9:15pm
OUTSIDE CATERING
FOR ALL OCCASSIONS
353 Uxbridge Road
Hatch End
Pinner
Middlesex
HA5 4JN
TEL: 01923 518693
11 Lanson House
Whitchurch Lane
Edgware
Middlesex
HA8 6NL
TEL: 020 8952 8204
Voted Observer
Fish & Chip Shop of the Year
"London Regional Finalist"
"Fried Fish at its Best"
Licensed Restaurant and
Take Away
Savvas & Mary welcome you to their
52 seat restaurant
352 Uxbridge Road, Hatch End, Middx.
Telephone orders welcome:
020 8428 0203
20