TheTOLTEC SECRET to HAPPINESS

DO DD –don Miguel Ruiz, MD, author of The Four Agreements
...........
If you want to change your life—right now—and make those changes
last, there’s nothing more powerful than changing what you believe. In
1996, after a chance meeting at the pyramid ruins in Teotihuacan, Mexico,
Ray Dodd embarked on a six-year apprenticeship with don Miguel Ruiz,
author of the bestselling and widely beloved The Four Agreements. Now
a sought-after mentor himself, Dodd reveals how our hidden beliefs can
create barriers to lasting happiness and offers four simple and effective
steps that can reshape any belief that stands in your way. Read it and
discover how to:
. identify your fear-based beliefs
. eliminate regret, worry, and self-doubt
. stay balanced and happy,
even when things are falling apart
.
and
make it last.
...........
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ISBN: 978-1-57174-704-4
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T h e TO LTEC S ECR ET to HAP P I N E S S
“When you change what you believe, you change your
story about yourself, and suddenly life becomes a beautiful
dream. Let Ray Dodd show you how.”
The TOLTEC
SECRET to
HAPPINESS
...........
Create Lasting Change
with the Power of Belief
...........
RAY DODD
Foreword by don Miguel Ruiz, Jr.
This edition first published in 2014 by
Hampton Roads Publishing Company, Inc.
Charlottesville, VA 22906
Distributed by Red Wheel/Weiser, llc
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Copyright © 2003, 2014
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced
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storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from
Hampton Roads Publishing Company, Inc.. Reviewers may quote
brief passages. Originally published in 2003 as The Power of Belief:
Essential Tools for an Extraordinary Life by Hampton Roads Publishing Company, Inc., ISBN: 0-97158636-5.
Cover design by www.levanfisherdesign.com / Barbara Fisher
Interior designed by Frame25 Productions
ISBN: 978-1-57174-704-4
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Foreword
My family’s Toltec teachings come from a long oral tradition—accumulated wisdom shared down through the generations in the form of stories and anecdotes. One of the
most beautiful elements of any tradition of knowledge is
that when a student takes its lessons to heart, and begins to
practice, the knowledge is transformed through experience.
Through experience, knowledge becomes real wisdom and
the lessons become truth in practice. And so a tradition
evolves. As each generation of teachers shares its version
they adapt the knowledge into new lessons for understanding life in the modern world. In this way the ancient
traditions remain alive and relevant for the next group of
students who are anxious for change and willing to listen.
Ray Dodd and I have the same teacher, my father, don
Miguel Ruiz, MD, and we have approached what we have
learned in ways as unique as the directions our lives have
taken us. I first met Ray when I was in my early twenties.
When he began his Toltec apprenticeship with my father,
Ray was already well on his way in his own career: first
in music, then in engineering, and finally in business. The
result of the fusion of his paths into one is reflected in his
ix
book, The Toltec Secret to Happiness: Create Lasting Change
with the Power of Belief.
As Ray discovered his voice, he focused his attention
on the singular topic of transforming self-limiting beliefs
as an effective way to achieve lasting change. The material
for the book you now hold in your hands is the foundation
for the Power of Belief programs he now teaches within his
organization: BeliefWorks.
Why are our beliefs so powerful, and why is changing
them so transforming? Whatever beliefs you have said YES
to create the reality you are living today. Are you sometimes
overwhelmed by stress, drama, or sadness? Do you have a
belief that is holding you back from experiencing the joy
and success you dream are possible? As you begin reading,
set your intent to see how Ray’s process of shifting limiting
beliefs can help you in your own life or work. Pay close
attention to these questions as you make your way through
this book and I assure you, any undiscovered self-defeating
beliefs you hold will be revealed to you.
It can be startling to come face-to-face with your most
fearful beliefs, but it is also a gift—a rare opportunity to
revitalize your health, wealth, and your most precious relationships. Take the actions suggested in the book, carefully
follow the process, and something astonishing will happen;
you’ll change the way you see the world.
What is the Toltec Secret to Happiness? Like most
secrets, it’s not much of a secret at all. It’s out there for all
to see yet invisible to all except those who are ready hear it.
The secret is simply this: Limiting beliefs result in drama and
sadness, and positive beliefs support a life filled with happiness
x
the toltec secret to happiness
and possibility. To eliminate self-judgment, unhappiness, conflict, and regret, you must discover the beliefs you have that are
rooted in baseless fear and learn to change those beliefs. Ray
Dodd will show you how.
Ray has shared with me how much he is inspired by the
belief work itself because each time he teaches it he learns
something new, and the lessons of our tradition deepen for
him. My father taught us that the word Toltec means “artist.” Like all dedicated teachers Ray is a passionate artist,
and now he shares his ever-evolving art with you in each of
the pages in this book.
You will find an echo of my family’s teachings in these
pages as well, as Ray continues to contribute to the oral
tradition of the Toltec. The element that makes this book a
standout is Ray Dodd himself—his own struggles and his
humanity are fully present in the lessons and in the voice
of this book. The key for any student—or reader—of any
tradition is that he or she resonates with the message of
the teacher. Make no mistake about it—Ray Dodd’s message comes from the voice of applied wisdom and love. The
Toltec Secret to Happiness: Create Lasting Change with the
Power of Belief is a beautiful work of art, and I am sure it
will be a fundamental instrument in your path of transformation for many years to come.
With Love,
don Miguel Ruiz, Jr., author of
The Five Levels of Attachment
Foreword
xi
Introduction
B
elief is Power, the power to create. You create your own
reality simply by what you agree to believe. Your deepest beliefs about everything hold your attention and propel
you into action, or keep you from taking action. What you
believe impacts your performance at work, your attitudes
about money, how you navigate through the world, and
how you conduct all your relationships.
Belief colors every experience and determines how we
react in any situation, yet we are often unaware of the hidden beliefs that guide us. Sometimes our beliefs hold us
back from realizing our deepest desires. Oftentimes it is the
long-forgotten agreements we’ve made with ourselves that
keep us stuck, repeatedly making choices in conflict with
what we say we value most.
When you come to understand the real power of belief,
you’ll discover you have the ability to create any point of
view you choose. Learn to exercise that power and you
can defeat fear-based beliefs about yourself and the world
around you that keep you from the happiness and inner
peace you’ve always desired. Harness the power of belief
and you’ll break through self-created boundaries you were
convinced could never, ever change.
xiii
In my practice helping others change their limiting
beliefs, I assist people who are motivated to face whatever is
holding them back. They have already decided where they
want to go; they’re just not exactly sure how to get there. Traditional performance coaching focuses on what is true now,
in the present moment, and what actions need to be taken to
produce different results. However, mapping out strategies
and taking action are only one small piece of the puzzle.
While facilitating transformation for both individuals
and organizations, I have noticed that focusing on what
people believe is far more powerful than trying to change
behavior. Concentrating on what they believe has been
vastly more effective than dissecting the stories they tell me
about their problems and then working from the details.
Working from the details creates managed solutions that
don’t last because the real problem has never been resolved.
In order to effect lasting and positive change, they need to
change what they believe.
The belief-change process contained in this book, born
out of my own experiences and sharpened by working with
hundreds of people to alter their own self-defeating beliefs,
is deeply rooted in the ancient wisdom of the Toltec. In
1996 on a trip to the pyramid ruins in Teotihuacán, Mexico, I had the amazing good fortune to meet don Miguel
Ruiz M.D., author of the best-selling book about the
teachings of the Toltec, The Four Agreements. Don Miguel
is a former medical doctor and teacher dedicated to carrying on his family’s spiritual heritage.
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the toltec secret to happiness
Not long after the trip, I began to study with don
Miguel. I went to see him on a regular basis over a period
of six years and those visits began a new chapter in my life.
Prior to meeting don Miguel, I spent many years trying to find a way to heal my own unhappiness and dissatisfaction. I was always looking for something different or
better. I was addicted to identifying what was wrong with
everything, so I tried whatever I could think of—moving
to a new place, finding a different job, starting a new relationship—all with the potential to get me what I thought I
needed. I went through portions of this cycle many times,
buying into the myth that I would finally be happy when I
had this, or when I found that.
Having mixed results trying to change what was outside of me, I started on an inward journey that took me
through many philosophies, faiths, and practices. I worked
with various types of healers and read mountains of motivational and self-help books. I studied numerous spiritual
traditions, had a martial arts practice in Aikido, and even
spent time in a seminary.
Along the way I accumulated lots of wonderful knowledge I wholeheartedly agreed with, yet I was still struggling,
frequently overpowered by unwanted emotional reactions
when things didn’t go the way I thought they should. At
the time, I assumed simply collecting all that information
would do the trick. Looking back now, I realize I wasn’t living all those ideas that sounded so good to me because they
were in conflict with what I really believed.
My own process of change went into high gear when I
began to study with don Miguel. Nothing he taught was in
Introduc tion
xv
conflict with what I had learned up to that point. In fact,
it complemented it. I discovered the Toltec way is unique,
chock-full of simple yet brilliant devices that produce
extraordinary results when put into practice. I have done
my best to include as many as possible in this book.
The Toltec were an ancient culture chiefly located in
what is now the pyramid ruins of Teotihuacán in the high
midlands of Mexico. In a tradition that dates back thousands of years and continues today, the Toltec were known
throughout Mexico as men and women of knowledge. One
interpretation of the word “Toltec” is “artist.” They considered the manner in which you lived your life as your art;
thus the Toltec way was not a religion but more accurately
a way of life.
The modern Toltec view embodies many universally
accepted truths adopted by bona fide faiths and spiritual
traditions around the world, along with a common-sense
approach to explaining what we are and how we got this
way. Toltec philosophy claims that there is no way for us
to change unless we have an understanding of how we create our own unique perception of the world. The Toltec
description of human awareness is that the mind never
rests, and one of its main purposes is to dream. Their
mythology states that we are always dreaming, not only at
night, but also while we are awake, and what we experience
inside the dream is significantly altered by our beliefs about
everything.
You are always modifying what you see, according to
what you believe. What you believe produces a unique
perception of the world and drives most of your thoughts,
xvi
the toltec secret to happiness
your actions, your joys, and your sorrows. It is very real, yet
amazingly enough, it is only real for you and no one else.
My understanding of the true power of belief began 30
years ago when I tried to quit smoking cigarettes. Although
I only smoked a few cigarettes a day, I had come to despise
the habit. About that time, the government began to force
cigarette manufacturers to publicize the health hazards of
smoking and print warnings on the package. Even the pack
of cigarettes said smoking was bad for you!
I had all the information I needed to make a decision
to quit smoking, but I just couldn’t stop. I would quit for
a few days, buy a pack, smoke a few cigarettes, and then
throw the pack away disgusted with myself. I tried everything there was on the market to help me quit smoking.
I bought nicotine gum, books, tapes, and took special
supplements. I even tried hypnosis, but none of it helped.
Sometimes I would quit for weeks. The physical addiction
to the nicotine would subside, but something much more
powerful was pulling me back into the habit. My level of
frustration became enormous.
One night as I was drifting off to sleep I heard an
unfamiliar voice from deep within me say, You’re afraid to
embrace LIFE! You can’t breathe deeply without the smoke to
calm your fear. You live in the shadows. You don’t care whether
you live or die.
I immediately dismissed the thought as preposterous.
“Of course I care. I want to live!” I said to myself. But as the
days passed I started to look carefully at this thought that
had risen from a level well below what I was conscious of.
You don’t care whether you live or die.
Introduc tion
xvii
The words haunted me. When I stopped denying it,
something emerged from me. I became aware of a hidden
memory that now existed only as a long-forgotten dream.
There was a part of me that believed exactly what I had
discovered. It was true and yet it had been invisible to me.
That awareness was startling and yet very powerful. Maybe
I believed it, but with awareness I could make a choice to
no longer agree with it. The part of me that believed it was
from another time in my life. Once I understood that, I
stopped smoking immediately. The battle was over. It was
never about smoking. It was all about what I had believed.
Whether you are aware of it or not, the entire tapestry
of your life—woven together with the threads of belief—
is your masterpiece. We are all Toltecs, artists of life. So
whether you are interested in changing self-defeating
beliefs that stand in your way, increasing your people skills
by recognizing what others truly believe, or using the positive beliefs that have served you well as a springboard to the
next level of personal achievement, understanding the true
power of belief can be a very valuable tool.
Step by step, you will discover how to remap any belief
that is an obstacle to getting the results you want, unleashing the potential for profound and enduring transformation in every part of your life.
The Toltec Secret to Happiness is divided into three
sections. Part 1, “The First Dream,” examines the ability
we have to devise our own unique reality, or as the Toltec
described it, our personal dream. It defines what belief really
is, shows how our belief system was created, and describes
how hidden beliefs can keep us from the happiness we
xviii
the toltec secret to happiness
dream is possible. Part 2, “The Second Dream,” contains
carefully designed steps for modifying any belief you want
to change. Part 3, “Tools,” includes a list of definitions
for terms used throughout the book. Some of the terms
are taken directly from the Toltec mythology, some I have
modified from the original concepts, and some are my own
invention.
Over the years I have noticed that what I considered a
simple idea could be a maddening puzzle for my clients and
students. They needed to hear it over and over again in lots
of different forms before they would start to comprehend
what was being said. Looking back over my own process,
I did the very same thing. My teachers would repeat many
times over concepts that are obvious to me now but certainly weren’t then. These devices, the terms in the book,
are designed to help you clearly understand the core ideas
that are fundamental to create lasting and positive change.
It is awareness of the awesome force of belief that creates possibility. Possibility limited only by what you can
imagine. Positive belief anchored in respect, love, integrity,
and self-acceptance provides you, the artist, with a new
brush that makes bold strokes. It is time to create the life
you’ve only dreamed of. But to do this you must be ready.
Ready to change what you believe!
Introduc tion
xix
PART ONE
The First Dream
.............
We don’t see things as they are, we see things as we are.
—Anaïs Nin
Chapter 1
The Fabric of Belief
A belief is a dream, a simulated reality shaped by your
most pivotal experiences and what you have decided
those experiences mean. A conviction that exists beyond
language, belief projects its point of view onto all that
you perceive, distorting what is.
I
f you want to change your life—Right Now—there is
nothing more powerful than changing what you believe!
Belief creates your personal reality: a unique world
view where often what is true is true only for you. What I
am referring to are not political beliefs or beliefs about religion, but the unseen agreements you made long ago that
impact every word you say, every thought you think, and
every action you take. The voice of those agreements is the
conversation you hear chattering in your mind—proclaiming how things are, describing what you know, telling you
about everything you believe.
Your interpretation of life through your filter of beliefs
alters what you perceive. Imagine you and I are looking
at a dog. If you remember your high school biology, the
light reflecting off the dog enters the retina in your eye and
3
through a series of biochemical reactions, receptors process
what you see, sending an electrical impulse to the brain
and creating an image in your mind. The image is raw data.
What you actually take in is modified by how you interpret
the data.
We project what we believe onto whatever we are experiencing. The process is similar to the way a movie projector works. Light passes through a moving film and the
images on the film are projected onto a screen through a
lens. If the lens isn’t clean the images are distorted. In the
same way, your beliefs coat the lens of your awareness; and
when light reflects off what you see, your beliefs alter what
you perceive inside your mind.
What you observe is not actual but virtual. If I love
dogs and you are afraid of dogs, we are each going to have
a different experience. What you see and feel and what I
see and feel are not exactly the same even though we are
looking at the same dog. In a similar way, if a college art
class is drawing a human model, the students don’t all draw
the same thing in the same way. Granted, some of this is
because not everyone has the same level of skill or technique, but more importantly, the artists are expressing what
they see inside their own virtual reality.
Most of the time we don’t have any direct contact with
what we observe at all. Unless we are tasting something,
or feeling the texture and temperature by touching it, our
perception is derived largely from the image in our mind
and the sounds we hear.
No one has a pure perception of the world they encounter moment to moment because we alter the information
4
the toltec secret to happiness
received by the senses based on past experiences and our
agreements about those experiences. An example: If I invite
you to dinner at my mother’s house and she serves us my
favorite dish, what you taste will likely be different from
what I taste. Similarly, if you invite me to a concert where
they are performing music you’re familiar with, but I’ve
never heard before, my experience is not going to be the
same as yours.
To make matters worse, we distort the already altered
version of reality presented to us by other people. To illustrate, let’s say you are my friend. You know me and we have
talked many times. You go to a party and get into a conversation with a man you’ve never met before. You tell the
man about me but you don’t give him my name. My sister
goes to the same party and talks to the same man about me
but also does not mention my name. By chance the next
day my mother runs into the very same man in the supermarket and while they are waiting in the checkout line, she
starts to tell him about me, her son. It is likely this man will
think he was told about three different people because what
he heard was how I existed in each of their minds. What he
experienced was their perception of me through the lens of
their judgments, opinions, and beliefs.
The typical understanding of belief is that it is a product of the mind, produced by our reason. Something is true
because we think it is true. We are under the impression
that what we think we believe is actually what we believe.
However, what we think we believe is often just an opinion. Opinions are not beliefs but the application of all the
accumulated knowledge we have agreed to and our relentless
The Fabric of Belief
5
defense of those agreements. Belief is so much more than
what we think is true. The origin of belief is not words but
experience, the emotion that arises from that experience, and
the evolution of what we perceive that experience to mean.
Is it possible to develop a belief without language,
without thinking about it? Of course it is! A toddler that
has been scratched by a cat develops an instant belief about
cats (watch out!) without understanding words.
From the Toltec perspective, everything we believe
about ourselves, and everything we have decided we know
about our world is filled with illusions fabricated by the
dreaming mind.
So, consider a broader definition for the word “belief.”
A belief is a dream, a simulated reality shaped by your
most pivotal experiences and what you have decided those
experiences mean. A conviction that exists beyond language,
belief projects its point of view onto all that you perceive, distorting what is.
What you believe is what you have no doubt about.
Let’s say you need to run an errand and you decide to drive
your car to get there. You leave your house, walk out to
the car, open the car with your keys, get in, put the key
in the ignition, start the car, and begin to drive away. For
most people, this whole sequence is pretty routine. You
don’t think much about it. You aren’t considering how a
key works in a lock or how the motor of a car operates after
you turn the key. You don’t consider it because you’ve done
it many times, and you don’t have any doubt about what
will happen. It’s not conscious, it’s automatic. You believe it
6
the toltec secret to happiness
works. You believe it works because that is where you have
invested your faith.
Where your faith is invested is powerful and very difficult to change just by changing your thinking. As an
example, according to psychologists the greatest fear people have is not of dying but of speaking in front of other
people. Many people have stage fright and so one way to
overcome this fear is to take a public speaking course. A
course like that can be helpful, but what it really does is
help manage fear. When they step out onto the stage, even
after they’ve finished the course, there is often still something trying to overpower all the affirmations, techniques,
and good intentions. That something is what they believe
about themselves.
Many times our most deeply held beliefs are invisible to
us. We think we know what we believe, but maybe we really
don’t. Ask yourself: What do I believe about money? What
do I believe about my work? What do I really believe about
God, love, family, or the immense world around me? You
can probably come up with some pretty good answers, but
are they true? Suppose you tell everyone that you believe in
being kind, considerate, and loving. What happens when
someone doesn’t act kind, considerate, and loving towards
you? How do you feel when someone doesn’t act kind or
considerate towards someone you care about? When you
are driving your car and another driver does something you
don’t like, is your reaction in conflict with what you told
everyone you believed?
Belief can be so powerful that it controls your entire
body. Just look in the mirror when you are upset or stressed.
The Fabric of Belief
7
Look at your face and how you are standing—your posture. Notice whether your breathing is deep or shallow.
Belief affects our biological systems too. There is much
written about how fear, stress, and negative thinking can
cause dis-ease in the human body. There is also mountains
of evidence about how love, positive thought, laughter, and
touch aid in the healing of the same diseases.
Because belief lives below the level of ordinary awareness, you don’t notice the agreements you made long ago.
What you notice is the emotional point of view of the
belief. When you are triggered by a stressful situation, what
you’re really aware of is being overwhelmed by an emotion.
Even if you have learned to hold back your words, your
reaction is far more powerful than any thought you might
have about how you should or shouldn’t act. It’s a runaway
train and you’re not in control. In those moments, forcing
yourself to behave in a way you think is acceptable can be
like trying to strap down the lid on the pot so the water
doesn’t boil over while the flame underneath is turned all
the way up.
Real transformation of the belief system cannot be
accomplished simply by deciding to believe something else,
reciting affirmations, or collecting more information. Have
you ever been to a seminar, come back all fired up with
lots of good information and the best intentions. only to
find months later that not much has really changed? You
learn to talk the talk, but you can’t seem to walk the walk.
The change doesn’t last because what really drives behavior
is belief. Real transformation of your beliefs comes from
engaging the totality of what you are, not just your mind.
8
the toltec secret to happiness
You are so much more than intellect and reason. You are
vastly more than your thinking. You are this human body
with the senses of touch, sight, hearing, taste, and smell.
You are instinct and intuition. You are a feeling being with
emotions. You are spirit imbued with the force of LIFE—
aware—and through your perception, a dreamer.
For years, I had a very hard time understanding the
Toltec perspective that we are always dreaming. I thought
it meant nothing was real. That’s not exactly true. What
it means is that we don’t accurately experience what is in
front of us, but perceive instead a virtual image altered by
the activity of the dreaming mind. How we interpret what
we experience is dramatically influenced by the structure of
our beliefs.
Our personal dream, our individual simulated reality, is the solid and familiar story we exist in. It becomes
so familiar that we no longer notice it. Only when something drastic happens to suspend it—like an accident, illness, sudden loss, or other tragedy—do we get a glimpse of
the world without our usual filters. In those moments, the
mirage evaporates and we begin to see the limitless possibilities available by changing what we believe.
Years ago, after a trip into the interior of Mexico, I
came down with malaria. I was very sick with a high fever.
Six weeks later, I finally started to get better, but I was still
weak and had lost a lot of weight.
Some friends of mine took me out for a walk in a
local mountain park. They thought it would do me good
to get outside into the fresh spring air. We walked for a
short way and then I decided we should turn back because
The Fabric of Belief
9
I was getting tired. Just as we turned around to go back,
we passed a man and a woman walking the other way. The
man called my name. He said, “Ray?” I turned around and
looked at him. He seemed pleasant but I didn’t recognize
him. I began to walk away. “Ray?” he said again. I looked
harder. I had a warm feeling looking at him. His face was
bathed in the late afternoon light and seemed soft, like the
effect you get when you spread gel on a camera lens. Still,
I couldn’t recall his face and so I started to walk down the
hill. He called out loudly, “Ray!” I looked back at him and
struggled to place him. I stared directly at him for what
seemed to me to be a very long time. All of a sudden, I
heard a popping sound as if something that had been stuck
released, and there was a return to a more familiar feeling.
I could now see this was Steve, a man I’d known for
several years. Steve worked at the same company I did. I
liked him and thought he was immensely intelligent, but
we would often disagree because I thought he had a habit of
rushing into things with way more enthusiasm than planning. Like just about everyone else in my life I had a judgment about him. My long illness, however, had severely
diminished my attachment to just about everything—my
possessions, my personal history, and my judgments. Much
of what I had deemed serious and important was no longer
even worth considering. I just didn’t have the energy to
maintain being right. Part of my world before I became
sick was Steve; the way I judged him, defined him, and
even gossiped about him. Because the illness had largely
dissolved that, I saw him in a very different way. So different in fact I could not even recognize him!
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the toltec secret to happiness