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- exploring the
current
situations of
the mentee in
his / her life.
Helping to
establish a life
plan.
o• • • • • • • • •: .
•
•••••
•
"
TORCH MENTOR'S GUIDE
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33
TORCH MENTORING: MENTOR I MENTEE MEETING (1 Hour)
READING: "Brothers and Sisters, think about the things that are good and worthy of praise.
Think about the things that are true and honorable and right and pure and beautiful and
respected." Philippians 4:8
PRINCIPLE: If you fail to plan, you are planning to fail
TOPIC: SHORT TERM PLAN
STUDY
o Mentor bring pencil and paper for this week and next.
o Mentee write down three items in his / her short term plan. Where am I and where do
I want to go in the next month? What are steps to achieve these three items in your
plan. Dream vs. Reality!!!!!!
o How can I (mentor) help? Mentor Gently Interject the following:
• Physical Skills
•
Eating Right
•
Taking Care of Body (Exercise)
•
Hygiene
• Intellectual Skills
•
School
•
High School
•
After High School
•
Vocational - technical
•
College
o How can I (mentee) help myself? This helps to formulate the partnership not the
mentor saving the mentee.
WRAP-UP: This week work on one to three achievable steps to one of your short-term plan.
END IN PRAYER
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TORCH MENTORING: MENTOR I MENTEE MEETING (1 Hour)
READING: "Write down the vision; write it clearly clay tablets so whoever reads it can run to
tell others." Habakkuk 2:2
PRINCIPLE: If you don't know where you're going, you're never going to get there!
TOPIC: LONG TERM PLAN
STUDY:
D
Mentor bring pencil and paper for this week.
D
What do I want my life to be like in the next five years?
D
What do I need to do today?
D
Is your short-terms plan leading to your long-term plan?
D
What could keep you from attaining your plan?
D
What can you do now to rid yourself of those obstacles?
D
How can I (mentor) help? Mentor Gently interject the following:
•
•
D
Socially
Friendships
•
Good vs. Bad
•
Healthy Relationships
•
Family Relationships
• How to Apply for a Job
• Work Ethics
• Job Relationships
• Opposite Sex Relationships
How can I (mentee) help myself?
WRAP..UP: List items on your long-term plan and some steps to achieving each item. What
are some of the things that get in the way? Make some commitments to yourself and write
them down.
END IN PRAYER
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§ [
TORCH MENTORING: MENTOR I MENTEE MEETING (1 Hour) ]
READING: "And all you people who live in the land, be brave, says the Lord."
Haggai 2: 4
PRINCIPLE: Is the cup half full or half empty?
TOPIC: OBSTACLES AND OPPORTUNITIES
STUDY:
o What are the obstacles that prevent you from reaching your short and long term plan?
(The list made up after last week)
o Mentor help point out opportunities (Do Your Homework!) Gently interject the
following building blocks of Character
•
•
•
•
•
•
Taking Responsibility
Respect
Trustworthiness
Fairness
Caring
Citizenship
o When you leave, what might be some of the things that would get in your way of doing
what you need to do to get moving in the right direction? Mentor help move the mentee
from theory to application.
WRAP UP: What will your first day out look like? Be sure they have backup plans B, C
and D. Encourage mentee to deal with reality.
END IN PRAYER
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TORCH MENTORING: REUNION (2 Hours)
[
]
'---------"
READING: "Choose for yourselves today whom you will serve ... as for me and my family
we will serve the Lord." Joshua 24: 15
PRINCIPLE: Choices have consequences
TOPIC: MAKING GOOD CHOICES
AGENDA:
o Prayer arid singing
o Witness on choices by mentor or mentee (See outline)
o The Life of a Choice:
• Stop & Think: Count to 10, Look both Ways, Prevent Rash Decisions
• Clarify Goals: Look at both short term and long term; What do you want and don't
want
• Determine Facts: Seek Opinions; Assume Nothing; Evaluate
• Develop Options: Know what you want to achieve; Broaden your perspective
• Consider Consequences: Will your choice violate anything; Does it involve lying or
breaking a promise; Is it disrespectful to anyone; Is it irresponsible, unfair or
uncaring; Does it involve breaking laws or rules; How will it affect others?
• Choose: Talk to people whose judgment you respect. What would you do if you
were sure everyone would know? Remember the golden rule.
.• Monitor and Modify: You can always start over.
o Lite and Livelies
•
•
10 Positions (do at the end)
Mrs. Mumbly (active so use before the break)
o Break and refreshments
END IN PRAYER
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LIFE CHOICES
ORIGINS OF LIFE CHOICES
As a child, many of our choices are made for us by our parents or caregivers. We are told
what to eat, what to wear, where to live, when to go to bed and when to get up.
(Speaker talk about how it was growing up and the choices
dictated for him/her)
When we are adolescents or teens, we begin to make choices as an expression of our
independence from our parents. We choose who we hang out with, typically what we wear,
how we behave at home and at school. Sometimes we lead a double life, one for home and
one for school. Most of our choices are learned by watching others.
(Speaker talk about how choices might have been different
and how he/she made different choices between home, school
or the streets)
When we are adults, we·have total control over the choices we make. I know that it might not
seem like it, but the reality is that we make choices based on past experience or belief and
develop patterns that may be good for us or bad for us.
(Speaker explain one or two incidents in his/her life and how that
impacted him/herfora long time...maybeforever)
HOW CHOICES AFFECT OUR LIVES
• We go through life making choices guided by our past accumulation of learning and
baggage.
• How we treat life and make choices in the past has a great effect on us throughout our life.
• What we learn today, coupled with our past experience, can change the choices we make
for the future. I have made some tough choices to get there.
(Speaker, how did the cumulated experiences of life affect you?)
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WHAT ABOUT YOUR CHOICES IN PRISON?
On the outside we make around 225 choices per day. In prison, so many choices are made
for us that the number drops down to 25 per day. When to go to your house, when to shower,
what and when to eat, what to wear, what work assignment, when to make a phone call... the
list goes on and on. You do have choices about how to do your time. What kind of person do
you want to be in here? I am sure you will recognize some of these ways:
(Speaker to do some research and change the 'terms to suit your regional slang for the
person described)
­
• The loner, stays in his house and rarely mixes with others. He goes to work, canteen or
chow and back to the house. A loner is at risk... Others may perceive that you are a rat,
weak or a little 'crazy. The loner'may get flak on the line as others try to take advantage of
him.
• You know the banger, someone who hangs with his homey's by race or affiliation. We
all have the need to belong or be accepted by others. In some joints, the pr~ssure to join is
tremendous. A banger may' be asked to do something that is worse than what got him in
prison in the first place.
• One may be a connection for others, run drugs, make pruno, arrange sex... who knows
what. Sometimes we may hang with others who have chosen that route to pick up the
crumbs of power and canteen that come along.
• We could be a knucklehead, someone who keeps running into walls with other inmates
and or staff...he never seems to learn how to get along. This is another rough road because
everyone around you is on guard at all times.
• We could be a shot caller or a wannabe, either one is typically a negative leader or one
who picks up power by association. This road is usually a no win situation, the choices
you made on the street got you here and now you are doing it again. Hard time in the hole
for your actions is generally the' result of your mistake or being snitched off.
• Finally, we could be an independent, someone who does their time their way. This could
be you, you are open to change and ways to get by without hassle. You don't make any
big statements that will cause you grief. When you do make a change in your life, be
ready for the other inmates to shake you or shine you on. They will chase you allover the
yard to get you to break your word. This is a path that may have a lot of risk, and a lot of
reward. It is easy to be a follower ... and very difficult to choose to make your own way.
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WHAT DO YOU DO ABOUT CHOICES?
A choice can be a response to life, not just a reaction. Maybe up to now you have reacted to
every event in your life based on what you learned. To take control of life, change needs to
take place...move from reacting to events to responding to those same events. A reaction is an
emotional reflex, a response is a considered action. It takes a lot of practice for one to make
that important change. Take a look at this formula:
E+R=
W
EVENT + REACTION =WHAT YOU GET!
(Speaker give an example of a reaction to a situation
and how that impacted you)
Only when we look at our lives in retrospect do we see the big picture ...how the choices in
the past have been a reaction to the conditions around you for the moment. Moving out of the
immediate need and seeing what effect our choices cause can give new perspective. Many
early people made decisions based on the long term impact... .in fact, they looked forward
several generations before making a decision. How would their method affect the decisions
we make today?· Economically? Environmentally? Socially?
Make choices in your life
that respond to events with consideration of and an eye to the future. So let's restate the same
life formula in another way:
E+R=
W
EVENT + RESPONSE = WHAT YOU GET!
(Speaker give an event in your life that could have harmed you and your family if
you had not responded the way you did... if you never responded and always
reacted.. .say so. Now looking back what could you have done differently?)
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THE OUTCOME WILL BE DIFFERENT
• In order to make significant kinds of change, to nlake different, better choices and meet life
with a response rather than a reaction, we need to think about ourselves: who we are, how
we feel, who and what are important to us, the choices we have made and where they have
taken us and whether we wish to change some of that. We also need to think about the
choices we will make in the future and the direction we wish our lives to go.
QUESTIONS:
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
How am I utilizing my choices here in prison? How am I doing my time?
How can I change my choices?
What kind of choices have I made in my life and how has that affected me?
What choices would I change now if I could?
Have I let life "happen", just reacting to everything that came my way? How?
How can I change my pattern from a reaction to life into a response to life?
What did I react to today, yesterday, last week?
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