Charity+Children - Baptist Children`s Homes of North Carolina

Charity &Children
128/1
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And now abides faith, hope, charity, these three; but the greatest of these is charity. Baptist Children’s Homes of North Carolina
Make your year-end gift by December 31. Double your gift through the Challenge Gift Appeal. (page 5)
At BCH, siblings
stay together
___________________________________________________
By Jim Edminson, Editor
B
rothers and sisters can argue and fuss
at the drop of a hat. But when things are
up in the air and times get tough, siblings stand
together through thick and thin. Currently,
Baptist Children’s Homes (BCH) has 24 sibling
groups in children’s residential care throughout
the state.
“We know that keeping siblings together is
important,” BCH president/CEO Michael C.
Blackwell says. “Throughout BCH’s history, we
have made this a home that welcomes brothers
and sisters.”
The large number of sibling groups is attrib-
Currently, there are 24 sibling groups in Baptist Children’s Homes care around the state. BCH is committed to providing
a place for sibling brothers and sisters to remain together when they are displaced from their homes.
uted to the growing partnership between
traumatic when siblings are separated.
BCH and the North Carolina Division of Social
Keeping them together helps make the transition
Services (DSS). DSS has been successfully utilizsmoother. Siblings acclimate to cottage life better
ing a foster care home network to meet the needs when their brother or sister is nearby, and BCH
of many traumatized children. But the growing
works to accommodate the groups. If there are
number of sibling groups and
just brothers or just sisters, they can be
the agency’s desire to keep
placed in the same cottage. If there
brothers and sisters together
are brothers and sisters and placed in
CARE and
CARE
has prompted them to turn
separate cottages, BCH makes sure
see
lives
changed
to BCH.
they have time together.
forever.
“What is happening now
More and more sibling groups with
comes from a revitalized
younger children are coming into care.
partnership with DSS,” BCH’s director of child
In the west, there are a one- and a two-year-old.
residential services Linda Morgan says. “We are
At Mills Home in Thomasville, one sibling group
providing a viable place for siblings. We value
of four brothers will have the two youngest
these groups and are working hard to maintain
brothers attending day care.
the integrity of the sibling unit by providing
“It appears that things happening in homes are
a successful home experience.”
becoming even more severe,” Morgan says. “In
It is traumatic for children when they are
the past, younger children were left with one or
(Continued on page 8.)
removed from their home. It can be even more
[ MY THOUGHTS }
Children tackle tough
questions to succeed
_________________________________________________________________________
By Michael C. Blackwell, President/CEO
A
study several years ago showed that people
make more than 300 decisions every minute
they drive a car in city traffic. Speed up, slow
down, signal, change lanes, check the mirror,
check your gauges, watch your left, keep your
eye on the kid with soccer ball, watch the cyclist,
answer the phone, constantly monitoring driving
conditions to arrive safely and on time.
The man or woman who drives to the top of
the corporate heap is the one who demonstrates
a strong ability to make right decisions. The
tougher the decisions and the more money that
rides on the executive’s word, the more he is
compensated and the more she is exposed to
second guessing and vulnerability.
But we expect that of adults. Somebody has
to make the world go round and that lot falls
on the shoulders of those who have seen more
revolutions than young people.
But young people in care at Baptist Children’s
Homes (BCH) often have to make decisions that
are so big, so momentous, they would immobilize
adults with spasms of fear.
Consider these two from early in my presidency:
Elizabeth, who was our pride and joy at Mills
Home in Thomasville, came to us when her father
died and her alcoholic mother could no longer
care for her. Elizabeth exhibited all the problems
of a child raised in that environment, but she
also displayed an enormous potential. She was
smart, attractive and showed a spunky resilience.
Elizabeth did well in school. She was popular,
scored well in her classes, found an excellent parttime job with Thomasville Furniture Industries.
She was on a roll.
Then one day her mother called. She was
sick. Would Elizabeth please come home and
live with her?
Elizabeth loved her mother. She cringed daily
thinking of the life wasted by alcohol and the
relationship she could have shared if mother had
controlled her desire for liquor. Her mother was
sick. She needed Elizabeth and was asking her to
come home.
But Elizabeth,
by now a high school senior, planning for college,
had to consider her own future. She knew if she returned home, she would be nursemaid to a mother
she loved but who could only drag her into the
hopeless abyss in which she dwelled, dashing her
dreams, like her mother’s drinks, “on the rocks.”
At BCH, Elizabeth could maintain her own
dreams, her own hopes of ending the cycle of
broken homes and shattered lives.
Tough decision for a teen-ager. Tell my mother
to take care of herself and live my own life. Or give
up my own dreams to care for a mother I love.
Elizabeth was not alone.
There’s Joe. Joe was a camper at our Cameron
Boys Camp, one of the most innovative and vital
programs in the country for boys having the
toughest time with life. Joe’s mother separated
from Joe’s father. She could not handle Joe at
home and his father was being a bad influence
on the boy.
Joe was one of 10 children. When the father
became mentally unstable and started being violent
at home, mother forced him out of the house. She
struggled with all the children. Once when driving
down the road, she warned the little ones to lock
the car door and be careful not to push on it. Then
she heard the door unlock, looked in the mirror
and saw Joe whispering to his brother and looking
like he was about to push him out of the moving
car’s door.
Joe did great at school. His teachers didn’t
understand how he could appear to be such
a problem at home. Apparently the harsh home
life, the violence and fear at home split his personality. He could not function with the adults in
his life, but at school where the awful problems
of domestic violence did not rear their ugly heads,
he could handle life.
Joe had to decide whether or not to go to
Cameron Boys Camp, some 900 acres of wilderness in Moore County. Now consider this. Boys
at Cameron live year round in shelters they design
and build themselves. They don’t move into
an air-conditioned bunkhouse
when the temperature hits 90 – or 100. They don’t
move in by the pot-bellied stove when it dips to
40 – or 20. They’re under the constantly-loving
but ever-watchful eye of Christian counselors night
and day. No shenanigans. When they have a problem with others in their group, the group stops its
activity until the boys face the problem and solve
it in a non-violent way.
There’s no dad to share a soda with. No mother
to manipulate. No TV to pass idle hours. There is,
however, the challenge of hard work, self-reliance,
learning wilderness skills, and discovering how
deep your backbone really grows.
But boys don’t come to Cameron Camp unless
they agree to. Joe was just 12. Did you ever have
to make a decision like that when you were 12?
Or 18? Or 25?
Did you ever have to decide to tell your sick
mother you couldn’t take care of her because you
have your own dreams. Did you ever have to decide
whether to give up the comforts of home and school
for the challenge of the wilderness?
Many of the hundreds of children Baptist
Children’s Homes serves each year have to make
these kinds of decisions. Elizabeth decided to stay.
She graduated and is working. Joe decided to go
to Cameron. After a year and a half, Joe left camp
to go back home. I was there as he bade farewell
to his friends and counselors. His challenge at
home was just as awesome as it was at camp.
Baptist Children’s Homes always works with
custodians and children alike to restore relationships. We’re helping them reach decisions that will
affect them positively for the rest of their lives.
That’s what “sharing hope…
changing lives” is all about.
Michael C. Blackwell leads the ministry with vigor
and enthusiasm. He has served as president of
Baptist Children’s Homes since 1983 and has a
record-setting 31-year tenure.
Charity & Children – Baptist Children’s Homes of North Carolina, Inc., 204 Idol St., P.O. Box 338, Thomasville, NC 27361-0338.
Michael C. Blackwell, publisher; Jim Edminson, editor ( [email protected] ); J. Blake Ragsdale, managing editor ( jbragsdale@
bchfamily.org ); Marcia Housand, Account Clerk. Charity & Children (ISSN 0009-1723-09 USPS 100-460) is published 11 times a year for
friends and supporters of Baptist Children’s Homes and is printed at Triangle Web Printing, Durham, NC. It is mailed by Excalibur, WinstonSalem, NC. Circulation: 62,000 seven times a year, 30,000 four times a year. Periodicals postage paid at Thomasville, NC, and at additional mailing offices. For free subscription, or to be removed from the mailing list or make address correction or change, use the above
address and write to Attn: Circulation Manager, send an email to [email protected] or call at 336-474-1209. Subscribe online at
www.bchfamily.org/contact/index/charityandchildren . POSTMASTER: Send change of address to Charity & Children, P.O. Box 338,
Thomasville, NC 27361-0338.
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Sharing Hope...Changing Lives Campaign at www.bchfamily.org/campaign
[ BCH VOLUNTEERS}
Couple shows
love by serving
___________________________________________________
By J. Blake Ragsdale, Managing Editor
J
azmine giggles as she whizzes around the
York Cottage living room. Pat and Harold
Clapp smile as they sit and watch the fouryear-old play. With a sudden bounce, Jazmine
leaps into Pat’s lap. She wraps her tiny arms
around her giving a big hug.
“You two have done so much for us,”
Jazmine’s mother Lisa says as she watches the
retired couple play with her daughter.
As volunteers at Mills Home in Thomasville,
the Clapps have become close to Jazmine, Lisa
and many of the single mothers and children
from Baptist Children’s Homes’ (BCH) Family
Care program.
Seeing the lives of BCH’s residents changed
through the ministry, and receiving hugs from
children like Jazmine, is what makes volunteering
a passion for the couple.
The Clapps first learned about BCH as a
young couple and spent time with children from
Mills Home when attending First Baptist Church
in Archdale.
Today, Pat and Harold are members of
Green Street Baptist Church in High Point.
A few years ago, Harold selected Mills Home
for their Sunday School class to support.
Harold remembers
being amazed by the
interactions between
class members and
residents from Blackwell Cottage during
a group lunch.
“One of our seniors had recently lost
his spouse, and I remember Angela from
Blackwell Cottage
sitting and talking
with him,” Harold
recounts. “He
changed after she spoke with him. He had
his smile back.”
“These girls didn’t know what our class
members were going through, but the Lord
did,” Pat shares. “He sent them to help.”
In 2012, Pat felt God leading her to help
BCH in a volunteer role. It resulted in a lifechanging decision.
“I let work know that I was leaving my job
to go to BCH,” Pat recalls. “I had worked at
my job for 37 years and thought I’d retire when
I reached 50 years. But the Lord told me to
retire early and volunteer at BCH.”
Incredibly, Pat left her job before ever discussing volunteer opportunities with BCH.
Unknown to Pat, while she was working out the
Pat and Harold Clapp began volunteering in 2013. The retired couple invests their time, often daily, at Mills Home. Pat
left her employer of 37 years because she felt God leading her to volunteer at BCH. Above, the Clapps assist at the Development and Communications department. Below, The couple play with Family Care residents Aaron and Jazmine.
details of her early retirement, BCH’s executive
Brenda Gray was saying a special prayer.
“We were short-staffed in the development
and communications department and did not
have the budget to hire someone,” Gray recalls.
“I was praying that God would send us a volunteer, someone servant-minded who was gifted
with office management skills.”
Just days later, the Clapps approached Gray
and the department’s office manager Alan Williams
about volunteering. They
connected Pat and Harold
with Family Care.
“We didn’t know anything about Family Care
when we first began, but
Harold and I used to be
foster parents to four siblings,” Pat explains. “We
always believed in keeping
children together.”
Family Care is BCH’s
program that helps hard-working, single mothers
rebuild their lives while caring for their children.
Through the Clapps’ connection with the program, their church has helped some of the mothers who have completed the program through its
furniture ministry. The church was able to provide furnishings as they moved into their homes.
“One of the mothers we became close to
called me at home when she was studying for
her Certified Nurses Assistant certification,” Pat
shares. “She was so nervous. I encouraged her to
depend on the Lord for help. Later she called to
let me know she had passed.”
In addition to Family Care, Pat and Harold
began assisting Gray and Williams in their office.
“They have been a Godsend,” Gray says. “Pat
and Harold help in so many ways. They are
among the most generous people you will find.”
It is rare if a day goes by when Pat and Harold
are not on the Mills Home campus helping in
some way. Harold often pulls into the Blackwell
Cottage driveway with a box of doughnuts.
“The kids call me ‘Mr. Doughnut,’” Harold
chuckles.
“I’ve volunteered other places, but it’s different when God calls you to do something,” Pat
says. “I look back at things I’ve experienced in
my life, especially as a foster parent, and see how
those pieces of my life were all in place to prepare
me for doing this.”
A caring couple has made a challenge
gift offering to match the first $1 million
pledged to BCH’s campaign through a planned
gift. Let us know about your planned gift
today and we can double it!
BCH’s capital campaign provides
help now and for the future through
renovating the minsitry’s statewide
care locations, raising daily operating
funds, and building the endowment.
Learn how you can be a part of the campaign by
carefully increasing your giving through a five-year
pledge or outright gift. Contact Brenda Gray at
336.689-4442 / [email protected]
____________________________________________________________________
More stories at www.bchfamily.org/stories
1/15 – Charity + Children – 128/1
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[ WORTHWHILE INVESTMENTS }
Grateful for blessings –
Leave a legacy of hope
____________________
__________________________________________________________________________________________
By Brenda B. Gray, Executive Vice President, Development & Communications
our world today.
anuary not only marks the beginning of a new
The children we help
year, it is a perfect time to reflect on the old.
today will become
As I think back on the past year, I am reminded the adults who will
of the many blessings God bestowed on all of us at offer hope and
Baptist Children’s Homes (BCH). We have been
strengthen our
blessed with volunteers that helped with numerworld tomorrow.
ous renovation projects that saved thousands of
With your estate
dollars. We have been blessed with donations of
gift, the children
food, clothing and furniture. We have been
we help tomorrow
blessed with the financial support to meet the
will continue this
needs of those individuals God has entrusted into
great legacy of sharBCH’s care. And we have been generously blessed ing hope. . .changing
by your remembering this ministry as you prayed. lives.
And we are so very grateful.
I invite you to become a part of the continuing
legacy
by becoming an I.G. Greer Society memI also enjoyed the opportunity last year to visit
ber.
BCH’s
I.G. Greer Society was created to
with many of you. I’ve heard wonderful stories
honor
persons
who have included BCH in their
of how you have been blessed and how you have
estate
plans.
As
a part of our Sharing Hope…
blessed others. My heart was touched and encourChanging
Lives
Capital Campaign, a caring
aged as you – our dear friends – shared your joy
couple has made a challenge gift offering to match
of giving.
the first $1 million pledged to BCH’s Campaign
This year Baptist Children’s Homes will celethrough planned giving – imagine doubling your
th
brate its 130 anniversary. One hundred and
gift. Let us know of your plans to include BCH in
thirty years of providing a safe home where hope
your planned giving and we can double your gift.
and love are unconditionally and generously
There are many ways you can help BCH
offered every day. Hundreds upon hundreds of
through
you Will – all of them offer advantages
people have left their imprint through their love
to
you,
your
family and BCH. Your peace of mind
and support. Together, we create a wonderful
and
the
future
needs of your family can be prolegacy that makes a difference in a child’s life.
tected
and
the
future of the ministries important
In addition to being the month that marks
to
you
can
be
continued.
the new year, it is also “Make Your Will Month.”
Ask your attorney to explain in detail your
Planned gifts represent the long-term assurance
many
options as you prepare or update your Will.
that BCH will always be able to keep its commitHere are a few ways to include BCH in your Will.
ment to care for those in need.
– Denote a specific amount to be given to BCH.
Each child’s life is a precious gift and throughout these 130 years, BCH has helped thousands
– Specify a percentage of assets to come to BCH.
of children. The children we helped yesterday have – Indicate the residue of the assets to come to BCH.
become the adults who share hope and strengthen
J
– Name BCH
as the contingent
beneficiary.
You may also
consider other
planned giving options
such
as a gift
annuity,
trust, insurance, and utilizing retirement plan assets.
I am so grateful for the generosity and thoughtfulness of people who have chosen to leave
a legacy – to make a difference – and impact the
hopelessness experienced by children yesterday,
today and tomorrow. For more information on
how you can impact the “least of these” through
your legacy gift, call me at 336-474-1230.
Please note that we combine the January/
February issues of Charity & Children and you
will not receive a paper in February. So, I’m taking
this opportunity to personally challenge you to
be bold this February! Celebrate by sharing love
with others by doing at least one act of kindness
each of the 28 days of the month. Email me and
let me know how you encouraged others through
your many acts of kindness. Can’t wait to hear
about the creative ways you offered hope to
others. Email your acts of kindness to bbgray@
bchfamily.org.
Brenda Gray’s passion is children. She serves BCH
as the executive vice president, development &
communications. Gray directs all fund-raising/
friend-raising activities for the state-wide services.
28 Days of Kindness
Celebrate February by sharing
at least one act of kindness each
of the 28 days of
the month.
Planned giving changes children’s lives!
Please return this coupon to let us know
if you have already included Baptist Children’s
Homes in your will as an I.G. Greer Society member or if you would like more
information about estate planning. Call Brenda Gray at 336-474-1230.
Name _______________________________________________________________________________
Address _____________________________________________________________________________
Phone____________________________ Email ________________________________________
Let us know how you
encouraged others through
your acts of kindness.
Email [email protected]
 Contact me with information on how to prepare a Christian will.
 I have included Baptist Children’s Homes in my estate plans.
Mail: Baptist Children’s Homes / P.O. Box 338 / Thomasville, NC 27361
____________________________________________________________________
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Leave a legacy. Vist www.bchfamily.org/plannedgiving
[ CHALLENGE GIFT APPEAL }
Imagine...
Give Today,
Double Your Gift!
Through the matching gift challenge, your investment
in children’s lives is multiplied by two. Imagine how
many more boys and girls you can help
by giving today.
Your investment in the lives of BCH’s
boys and girls will be matched
dollar for dollar up to the
$250,000 challenge total.
Essence, age 4
A $100 gift becomes $200.
A $500 contribution
becomes $1,000.
The opportunity
to double your gift
ends January 31, 2015!
Please give!
You can give online at www.bchfamily.org/givenow
URGENT!
RUSH MY
GIFT!
I want to help – please double my gift !
 $50
 $100
 $250
 $500
 $ ______________ Any size gift!
Name ________________________________________________________ Address _______________________________________________________________________________________
Mail to:
BCH
P.O. Box 338
Thomasville, NC
27361
City ___________________________ State ______ Zip __________ Phone __________________________________________ Email ______________________________________________
Credit Card Option:  Visa  MC Name on card: ______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Card #: ___ ___ ___ ___ - ___ ___ ___ ___ - ___ ___ ___ ___ - ___ ___ ___ ___ Signature: _____________________________________________________________________________________________
Must have Credit Card Expiration Date: ____________  Contact me with information on how to prepare a Christian Will.
Three-digit security code (on card back): ___ ___ ___  I have included Baptist Children’s Homes in my estate plans.
____________________________________________________________________
To give immediately, visit www.bchfamily.org/givenow
1/15 – Charity + Children – 128/1
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[ 2014 IN REVIEW }
Highlights include historic happenings –
th
One baby and 100 celebration take top spots
_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
B
aptist Children’s Homes (BCH) experienced a rough start to 2014 when a destructive ice storm felled trees and caused
thousands of dollars in damage to the Mills
Home campus in Thomasville. Despite the damage, BCH rallied from the storm’s aftermath and
its bleak beginning to the year. In fact, the 129year-old ministry went on to celebrate a number
of milestones which made 2014 one of the most
memorable years in recent history.
abandoned, became the orphanage’s first child. By mid-November, six children, including three babies and three young
siblings, were in care. The home provides a safe haven for indigenous boys and girls suffering from hunger, abandonment
and a myriad
of other
needs. Good
Shepherd is
BCH’s first
ongoing international
effort.
__________________________________
BCH launches capital
campaign – In June 2014, BCH
________________________________
Kennedy Home celebrates
its centennial – BCH’s secondoldest campus marked its 100th anniversary on July 5 – 6, 2014.
Kennedy Home in Kinston first opened on June 15, 1914. The
Centennial Celebration was attended by residents and staff
from both the past and the present as well as BCH trustees,
community friends and dignitaries. Dubbed the “Star of the
East” by BCH president Michael C. Blackwell, the Kennedy
Home grounds overflowed with activity throughout a commemorative weekend of live music, free food, family games
and worship. The event’s emotional highlight occurred during Sunday’s worship service when Blackwell delivered a dramatic 15-minute monologue in the persona and period
clothing of Kennedy Home benefactor Captain William
Lafayette
Kennedy.
_________________________________
Guatemala orphanage
accepts first child – The Good Shepherd Children’s
Home, BCH’s affiliate orphanage in Xela, Guatemala, received its operating license on October 7, 2014. Just ten days
later, Enma Carolina, a four-month-old girl who had been
launched Sharing Hope…Changing Lives, a multi-million
dollar capital campaign that will meet a variety of immediate needs while strengthening the nonprofit’s foundation for
the future. The financial goal for the campaign is
$21,300,000. The campaign will impact all of BCH’s locations in 19 North Carolina communities and is focused on
raising support for renovations, ongoing operational support,
and building the nonprofit’s endowment.
_______________________________
Children and residents
Rise Up for inspirational
presentation – On November
10, 2014, Blackwell led more than 200 BCH residents and
staff for a 25-minute presentation at the Baptist State Convention of North Carolina’s Annual Meeting in Greensboro.
Entitled Rise Up, the emotional presentation featured multiple residents sharing, through stories and songs, how BCH
has helped them overcome the trauma of abuse, destitution
and family dysfunction. The audience applauded and came
to their feet when Sedrick, a special needs resident from
BCH’s Developmental Disabilities Ministry, literally rose up
from his wheelchair and stood with help from his caregivers.
Sedrick lost his ability to walk because of severe child abuse.
Today, the 28-year-old is walking as much as 250 feet with
assistance.
________________________________
NCBAM marks five years –
The North Carolina Baptist
Aging Ministry (NCBAM), BCH’s
statewide program that serves the needs of frail aging
adults, marked its fifth anniversary in November 2014.
NCBAM’s state-of-the-art Call Center fields more than 350
calls per month requesting help. There are 15,000 volunteers
and service providers who stand ready to meet those needs.
NCBAM has connected more than 2,000 aging adults
to volunteers who have built them wheelchair ramps, has
mobilized 1,243 Baptist volunteers to install free smoke
alarm detectors, and has distributed more than 16,000
prescription management
Red Bags.
_________________________________________________________
6. Children reach goals – Two of BCH’s children, Kimani
from Broyhill Home in Clyde and Paulina from Mills Home in
Thomasville, celebrated educational milestones. Kimani,
who never attended school before coming to BCH at age 12,
graduated high school on June 11. He is taking community
college courses while still living at Broyhill Home. Paulina
graduated summa cum laude from the University of North
Carolina at Greensboro on May 9. She received a bachelor of
social work degree and is working towards a master of social
work degree at the University of NC in Chapel Hill.
________________________________________________________
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More stories at www.bchfamily.org/stories
with a cottage full of girls at Truett.
Incredibly, during the short time she
was in care, Lilly asked Christ into her
heart. Today, Lilly is doing well and is
living in a caring facility where her
needs are met.
_____________________________________
2015 Calendar
April – Food Roundup:
www.bchfamily.org/foodroundup
May 2 – Friends of Children Workday:
Kennedy Home in Kinston
Mills Home in Thomasville
Oak Ranch in Broadway
________________________________
Friends tackle ice storm
damage – Community friends in-
Sherri cares for children
while battling cancer –
cluding businesses, churches and individuals rallied to help Mills Home
recover from an ice storm that struck on March 7. Volunteers removed fallen limbs and trees. Food Lion contributed
$3,000 in grocery gift cards to help replenish food supplies
spoiled by
the campuswide power
outage. People donated
funding online, and
even walked
in off the
street, to aid
the recovery
process.
__________________________________________________________
BCH’s Family Care program
provided Sherri and her children a home where they could
be together. The single mother and her family
went from living in a shelter to BCH’s Family
Care residential program at Oak Ranch. There
in Broadway, this remarkable mother battled
cancer and returned to school while caring for
her children through Family Care’s support.
The program offers hard-working single
mothers the opportunity to rebuild their lives
while providing for their families.
_____________________
BCH launches new
website – The new
www.bchfamily.org
was launched early this
year. It is BCH’s most comprehensive
website to date encompassing all aspects of BCH’s ministry throughout
North Carolina and The Good Shepherd Children’s Home in
Guatemala. There is information on each BCH location as
well as pages for all of the ministry’s major events. For the
first time, visitors can read archived issues of Charity &
Children online. The online donation page (www. bchfamily.org/givenow) has been completely revamped and donors
are now able to designate their gifts. The online donation
page is also mobile friendly.
May 5 – Founders Day:
Cameron Boys Camp in Cameron
May 9 – Friends of Children Workday:
Camp Duncan in Aberdeen
May 9 – Barbecue Festival:
Broyhill Home in Clyde
May 16– Friends of Children Workday:
Odum Home in Pembroke
May 30 – HopeFest:
Lee Regional Fairgrounds in Sanford
July 3 - 5 – Kennedy Homecoming
Kennedy Home in Kinston
July 31 - Aug. 2 – Mills Homecoming
Mills Home in Thomasville
Aug. 8 – Hope in Style:
Greensboro Country Club in Greensboro
Sept. 10 – Western Area Conference:
Broyhill Home in Clyde
Sept. 12 – Friends of Children Workday:
Cameron Boys Camp in Cameron
Oak Ranch in Broadway
Kennedy Home in Kinston
Sept. 19 – Friends of Children Workday:
Camp Duncan in Aberdeen
Odum Home in Pembroke
Sept. 22 – Founders Day:
Camp Duncan in Aberdeen
October 17 – UNITE Youth Event:
Mills Home in Thomasville
Truett Home serves Lilly – When Cherokee County
Department of Social Services needed a home for a paralyzed girl, BCH’s Truett Home in Hayesville made extraordinary considerations to care for eight-year-old Lilly. BCH
does not normally provide specialized medical care for children, but everyone from BCH’s leadership to caregivers felt
strongly that Lilly needed to be at Truett Home until a longterm placement could be selected. Where Lilly had all but
lost any connection to children her age, she was able to be
Nov. TBA – Super Senior Fest:
Mills Home in Thomasville
Nov. 15-22 – Week of Prayer:
Your prayers mean so much!
For more information on how you or your
church can participate, call Alan Williams
at 1.800.476.3669, ext. 1277.
____________________________________________________________________
Follow us on Facebook at www.facebook.com/bchfamily
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7
[ 28TH ANNUAL MILLS HOME TOY RUN}
Bikers roar onto
campus for Christmas
_______________________________________________________________________________________
C
hildren at Mills Home stood
in awe as hundreds of motorcycles arrived at BCH’s Thomasville
campus on Sunday, December 7.
The 28th annual Randolph County
Concerned Bikers Association Toy
Run was among the largest ever.
Motorcyclists kicked off the Christmas season by bringing gifts to all
residents and raising more than
$8,000 that will be used to fund
special activities for the children
throughout the year. Approximately
2,400 bikers riding 1,900 motorcycles participated in the ride ensuring
residents had an unforgetful day.
Above left, children living in BCH’s Family Care cottages at Mills Home open their gifts.
Residents submit wish lists which are given to the Randolph County Concerned Bikers Association who distribute the lists among participating bikers. Above, Santa is the first to arrive.
Below left, A caravan of approximately 1,900 traveled from Asheboro, where the ride begins,
to Thomasville. Below, Residents Spencer and Thomas admire the motorcycles.
Siblings
Free music and family fun benefiting
Cameron Boys Camp and Camp
Duncan. Includes BBQ cook-off,
children’s games, gospel music,
silent auction, and vendors.
With your help, we can feed BCH’s residents for a year!
Your church or group can provide 700,000 meals and snacks
by collecting non-perishable food. More information soon.
336.474.1277 or www.bchfamily.org/foodroundup
Your vehicle helps BCH!
When you donate your vehicle, it becomes a vital part of
our ministry. Vehicles are used to drive residents to school,
doctor visits, church activities, and other events. Tax benefits
are available. Call BCH’s Office
of Development at
1-800-476-3669,
ext. 1209.
(Continued from page 1.)
both parents when older children were
removed, but today it is necessary to
remove even the youngest child.”
BCH is committed to being available
for a sibling placement at any time, day or
night, seven days a week. If a crisis arises in
a home and DSS needs help with a sibling
group, they can call on BCH.
BCH serves siblings through private
placement as well. A private placement
originates from a variety of sources –
church members, school teachers, counselors and administration, and even family
members.
“In my 41 years at BCH,” Morgan says,
“I cannot remember serving as many
groups at one time. I can remember serving
4 to 5 groups at Broyhill Home. But today,
there are 14 sibling groups in the western
area – one group is comprised of six siblings.”
Trends suggest that sibling group placements will be around for some time.
Younger siblings displaced from their home
and a priority on brothers and sisters being
placed together will continue to be the
guiding force. While foster care meets the
needs of many children, BCH serves by
keeping family units together.
“We stand committed to serve siblings,”
Blackwell asserts. “In years past, sibling
groups were successful living at BCH.
Today, those brothers and sisters look back
at their time growing up with fond memories. My hope is that these groups we serve
now will look back and have many good
memories as well.”
____________________________________________________________________
8
1/15 – Charity + Children – 128/1
Help immediately by giving online at www.bchfamily.org/givenow
[ MILLS HOME ALUMNI COLUMN }
Coming to Mills Home was “like dying and
going to heaven!” – Remembering days gone by
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
By Lib Smathers Johnson (336) 299-7412 [email protected]
I
hope the holidays have been wonderful. Please note that this issue
of C&C is for both January and
February. Also, note this address correction: Rev. Parker McLendon, Piedmont Crossing, 214 Boyce Sink
Court, Thomasville, NC 27360.
Thanks to Arlie Stewart who sent
word that he recently moved from
the good old “almost north” state of
Maryland to the good old “warm
state” of Florida. His new address is:
Arlie Stewart, 1833 Lakeview Blvd.,
North Fort Myers, FL 33903. His
phone number is still the same, 410574-9169.
Arlie came to Mills Home (MH)
in 1945 and left in 1953 – thereby
missing the grand opportunity of
graduating with the class of ‘57. In
recent years, he was been very faithful
to return to Homecoming and bringing his lovely wife as well.
Please continue sending address
corrections to: Sally Beck Ferguson,
25 Southern Pine Trail, Ormond
Beach, FL, 32174 or to [email protected].
Recently the MH website, I asked
Dennis Webster for the dates he was
at MH. He replied and I learned
some things about him. He entered
MH in the summer of 1958 and was
there until he graduated in 1965.
Having been an only child, he loved
living on the MH campus with so
many newly-acquired brothers and
sisters. It was so amazing to him that
he had suddenly acquired clothes that
he felt, and looked, good in. He
remembers having plenty of food to
eat and that there was always someone who cared about his well being.
He felt he finally had some structure
in his life – going to school, eating
regularly, sleeping regular hours, and
receiving love from strangers. It was
great!
All that was in sharp contrast
to some unhappy years when he lived
in a foster home where he did not
receive care, comfort and sometimes
not even the basic necessities. Prior
to that, he carried the responsibility
of looking after his own mother while
yet a very young boy. He feels he
developed a heavy burden of feeling
inferior in those very early years and
it took a lot of time to get over that.
In his words, “building self-esteem
was a hard hill to climb!”
But he goes on to say “I guess
I would compare going into Mills
Home to dying and going to heaven!
So much food (I had never had
enough before.), clothes – I finally
looked decent for a change, and I had
a more structured life and plenty of
love even it it was from strangers. Yes,
I thought it was great to be an orphan! I’ve always been proud to say.
‘I grew up at Mills Home,’ And I
must add that I thank God for Dinah
Dove. She helped shape my adult life
and create our wonderful family.”
Dave Stepp asked recently on Facebook for all to remember in prayer
himself, his brother Gene, and
Gene’s daughter Jennifer. Dave
expects to be having surgery sometime in January. Jennifer has recently
been diagnosed with lung cancer and
Gene is not in the best of health.
Dave strongly believes that God gives
strength through prayers. He says
that his family is very close. Friends
can reach Dave at this address: P.O.
Box 363, Yamhill, OR 97148.
Many of us learned through Facebook and the MH alumni website
that Allen Carroll had a very damaging stroke before Homecoming.
I learned from his brother Marion
“Bunny” on Dec. 1 that Allen has
been out of the hospital and rehab for
awhile and is improving daily. He is
still in therapy and trying to deal with
things that are still difficult for him.
He can now walk and is better able
to talk. He and his wife Lisa are
delighted that he has been able to
make trips to visit their daughter and
granddaughter in Nashville, TN. I’m
sure Allen’s family will appreciate
continued prayers and get well cards.
His address is: 4315 Hiawatha Dr.,
Knoxville, TN, 37919.
Bunny is still living in Greensboro
and enjoying good health. He enjoys
the fact that both his daughter and
son live in the same city and he is able
to have frequent contact with them
and his only grandchild Henry, a first
grader. Many alumni know little
Henry through his visits to MH at
Homecoming and his attending the
Bill Byerly picnic in early October.
I talked with Grace Panther Willis
on Dec. 1 and found out that she is
staying busy serving in the United
Way “Grandparent Program” for
kindergarten and first graders in the
little town of Casar near Shelby. She
enjoys helping the children copy their
assignments from the board and
helping them in other ways as well.
She will soon complete her tenth year
serving in that program. She also
mentioned that she stays in touch
with members of the class of 1956 as
well as Eileen Williams, class of ‘53
Since Homecoming, Leonard Kornegay has dealt with health issues
related to cancer. He says that he is
now doing very well. If you wish to
send cards, his address is: 120 Point
Shore Dr., Goldsboro, NC, 27534.
Nancy Martinez Powell says that
Clem Martinez Pridemore came
through her surgery and is making
daily progress in the healing process.
The family appreciates the prayers on
Clem’s behalf. Folks can send get
well cards to Clem at this address:
111 East Naomi St., Randleman,
NC, 27317.
More about Diane Coates Dalrymple as promised last month. Thanks
to Rick Smoot for the obituary of
Diane Coates Dalrymple who died
on Nov. 5 at Forsyth Medical Center
in Winston-Salem. A widow for
several years, Diane was well known
to many generations of Mills Home
alumni because she and her husband
lived in Thomasville, he worked at
Mills Home, and they were both at
Homecoming year after year. Most
people seem to remember Diane as
a very sweet and shy sort of person.
She graduated from MH and THS in
1974 and married her beloved Don
the same year. He was a Vietnam veteran and Thomasville Firefighter.
Diane worked thirty-eight years with
Summit and Time-Warner Cable
companies.
Surviving Diane are her son Brian
and his wife Nicole and their daughter Avery of Thomasville, her daughter Heather and fiancé Jon Myers of
Thomasville, and Diane’s little dog
Cooper. Her memorial service was
held 7 p.m. Monday, November 10,
at Rich Fork Baptist Church.
I was deeply saddened to hear
that Frances Buckner Dula died on
November 23 from complications of
cancer. Frances lived most of her
adult years in Thomasville and had
moved back to her hometown of
Asheville after she and her husband
Bill Dula retired. She died at the
Solace Center in Asheville.
Frances came to MH in 1946 with
her sister Judy. She was very active
in campus sports, church activities –
especially choir – and in many clubs
at Thomasville High School. She was
on the Mills Home softball team and
basketball team, a member of the
choir, and an excellent student, graduating in 1955. I was lucky to have
her as a suitemate at the Little Cottage for two years and we became
very good friends. After graduating,
she attended Gardner-Webb Junior
College one year. She returned
to Thomasville where she attended
Ashmore Business College, married
and settled down to work in
Thomasville and rear her family.
She retired as Human Resources
Manager at North State Telephone
company in High Point in 1999. She
served the community well by volunteering with the American Red Cross,
the YWCA Building Fund Committee, the Thomasville City Schools,
and as chairman of the Thomasville
Recreation Committee.
Frances is survived by her husband
Bill Dula, her sister Judy Freeney, two
daughters, two step-daughters and
one step-son, four step-grand-children and one step-great grand-son.
She was predeceased by her brother
Ray. A memorial service was held
Saturday, November 29, 2014 at 2
p.m. in J.C. Green & Sons Chapel.
Her ashes were inurned at Holly Hill.
Friends may send condolences to Bill
Dula at: 41 Bideford Row, Asheville,
NC, 28803 and to Judy Buckner
Freeney at: 141 Covington Pl,
Macon GA, 31210.
Lib Johnson was a resident of Mills
Home from 1946 to 1957. Johnson
began writing the Mills Home alumni
column in 1992.
____________________________________________________________________
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/millshomealumni
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9
[ AROUND THE STATE }
Every day at churches and BCH facilities “around the state,”
residents, staff members and North Carolina Baptists are making news. In Charity & Children and through BCH's social media posts, friends
can connect daily, weekly and monthly to learn about all of BCH's happenings.
broke campus a couple of days every year.
___________________________________________
Children Helping Children
On Sunday, November 17, Baptist Children’s
Homes president/CEO Michael C. Blackwell
spoke at Long Shoals Baptist Church in
Lincolnton. It is the home church of Craig
and Kathy, the grandparents of Mills Home
residents Jonathan and Thomas. Pastor
Kenneth Gibson and the brothers’ grandparents worked together to help the boys
come to Mills Home where they now live.
“Not only was it incredibly special to
speak at such a supportive church, but to be
there with the family of these two remarkable boys we serve was an indescribable
honor,” Blackwell said.
Read Jonathan and Thomas’ story
and other stories of BCH residents at
www.bchfamily.org/stories
Care House on December 6. Care House in
Lenoir offers group home care and support
to single, teen mothers and their babies. The
ladies ate Christmas treats with Care
House’s mothers and staff and spent time
snuggling with the babies.
Food Roundup: This is a great
opportunity for churches, businesses
and organizations to help provide the
food needs of the boys and girls in
care. Call 336-474-1277.
GAs and their leaders from First Baptist
Church in Lexington created a beautiful
Christmas tree skirt made of ties.
The donated ties were a part of a fundraiser
for BCH’s new orphanage in Guatemala. The
tree skirt was sold at the church’s missions
bazaar with the funds going to BCH.
___________________________________________
Care House
___________________________________________
Broyhill Home
___________________________________________
Guatemala Missions
Care House held its annual “Thank You” dinner on Friday, November 14. The meal is prepared by Care House and residents and staff
to show appreciation to the volunteers and
supporter of the group home in Lenoir. Pictured: Reverend Don Ingle (middle), Clay
and Janette Bollinger. Clay has served on
BCH’s Board of Trustees.
___________________________________________
Family Care
Kimani, Trevor and the other children at
Broyhill Home in Clyde received decorating
assistance from members of First Baptist
Church in Lenoir. The group raked leaves on
the campus while others helped the children
put up the Christmas tree and decorate the
gymnasium.
Volunteers Gail and Steve Cabe from Elkin
spent December 8-10 training at Mills Home
in Thomasville. The Cabes are leaving on
January 10 to serve at the Good Shepherd
Children’s Home, BCH’s affiliate orphanage
in Xela, Guatemala. The couple, who has
previously volunteered at the orphanage,
will stay for three months. The Cabes covet
people’s prayers. Left to right, BCH’s Regina
Kenner and Linda Russo, the Cabes, an BCH’s
chief operating officer Keith Henry. Learn
more at www.bchfamily.org/ guatemala
___________________________________________
Odum Home
___________________________________________
Care House
Recently, church volunteers came to Odum
Home to help with different campus projects. The ladies from Zion Hill Baptist
Church in Lawndale and Apex Baptist
Church in Apex volunteer at BCH’s Pem-
A group from Carolina Orthopedics in Shelby
brought Christmas gifts to the residents of
www.bchfamily.org/getinvolved
You can meet the daily needs of
BCH’s boys and girls by sharing
your time, talents and resources.
You can help in these ways:
___________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________________
Stay connected online at www.bchfamily.org and on Facebook, Twitter,
YouTube, and Vimeo. Also follow NCBAM (www.ncbam.org) and BCH's
Developmental Disabilities Ministry (www.hereismyhome.org).
___________________________________________
Mills Home
Get Involved
Members of Freedom Assembly of God in
Red Springs collected and donated food to
the Family Care mothers and children living
at Odum Home in Pembroke. Family Care
staff member Denise Lewis, front right,
accepts the gift on behalf of the residents.
Family Care for hard-working, single mothers and their children is available throughout
BCH’s statewide locations. Learn more at
www.bchfamily.org/familycare
Friends of Children Workdays:
The perfect one-day missions outreach. Projects for all ages! Statewide
BCH workdays available in May and
September. See 2015 dates on pg. 6
Call 336-474-1209.
Mile of Pennies: Help by collecting
a “Mile of Pennies.” When it comes to
providing care for hundreds of children, it takes everyone working together – one penny added to another
penny and then another penny. Continue to multiply the pennies and just
imagine how far you can go in making
a real difference! Call 336-4741209.
Walk for Change: Perfect for your
church or community organization –
walkers recruit financial sponsors to
give a cash gift for walking a certain
distance. Set your goal, secure your
sponsors, designate a safe route,
and have fun! Call 336-474-1209.
Recycle Projects: Collect empty
printer cartridges (laser, inkjet and
fax cartridges). Deliver items to any
BCH facility or use prepaid shipping
labels to send items to recycler. Millions of cartridges are thrown away
each year. Begin collecting and help
this year-round program earn money
for children. You can recycle cell
phones, too. Call 336-474-1209.
Bike for Change: Bike for Change
is a fun and dynamic way for children
to help "change" the lives of children.
By pedaling bicycles, children raise
support and awareness for BCH’s
boys and girls. It is a great service
project for schools, churches, and
other children’s groups. It also
teaches children the importance of
participating in missions outreach.
Visit www.bikeforchange.org for
resources. Contact Bike for Change
coordinator Jay Westmoreland at
[email protected]
Sharing Hope...Changing Lives
Capital Campaign: The campaign is
about securing BCH’s future so that
children and families who come into
care at the ministry’s 19 statewide locations can count on having the safe
home and care they need. Contact
Brenda Gray at 336-689-4442. Visit
www.bchfamily.org/campaign
____________________________________________________________________
10
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Discover ways you can help BCH at www.bchfamily.org/getinvolved
[ KENNEDY HOME ALUMNI COLUMN }
Important lessons offered as new year begins –
Reflecting on 2014, a year to remember
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
By John Thompson, 2324 Country Club Road, Jacksonville, NC 28546
A
“new year” begins whether we
want it to or not and they add
up over the years. Think of all
the things you have seen or done
through out your life. All of us have
had different upbringings. We could
all probably sit down and write a
book just about our lives. Your
Kennedy Home (KH) alumni family
would love to know what is going on
in your life right now. E-mail me anytime. What is your profession? What
are you doing? What have you enjoyed the most in your life?
This past year has been exciting for
Becky and me. I retired for the third
time. But now the Lord has asked me
to serves as the Minister of Senior
Adults in my son Johnny’s church
where he serves as the choir director.
He also runs two funeral homes in
Jacksonville and Richlands and I play
the piano for him. It really feels different working for him and watching
him direct music – I love it. By the
way, my son Scott is a team leader
RN for Hospice and Home Health
of Carteret County.
This year’s KH Centennial Celebration was one for the history
books. I want be around for the next
hundred year celebration but I am
hoping to be at the 125th. I’m 71
now and that will make me 96 then.
I talked to my college piano teacher
last week and she is 99. She asked me
lots of questions and even remembered Becky’s name. Wow! I think I
can make it. How about you?
As I said earlier, the 100th. anniversary committee just had a final “gettogether” meeting at the beach
cottage. From what I heard, they just
about froze. Wish Becky and I could
have been there, but she was too sick
for us to attend. Please keep praying
for her all the time. She lives on pain
pills.
I asked Donna Weeks, better
known as the milk lady, to fill us in
with a report. Donna deliverered
milk to all the cottages in the 70s.
Here is what she wrote: “The members of the Kennedy Home 100th Anniversary Planning Committee met at
the beach cottage on November 14
and 15 to have a ‘wrap up’ and celebration of the 100th anniversary. Bap-
tist Children’s Homes (BCH) staff
members and KH alumni who were
on the planning committee who attended are: KH director Brian
Baltzell, BCH staff members T.J.
Slaughter, Alan Williams and Brenda
Gray; KH alumni and spouses: Jim
and Ruth Ann Dyer, Dan and Geraldine Medlin, Dan Russ, Donna Duty,
Donna Daniels Wade, Dickie and Pam
Maynor, David and Sharon Maynor,
and Jim and Toye Carter Creech.
“Friday evening began with a dinner of sandwiches and great fellowship. Afterward, we spent time
sharing our memories of the weekend. Some highlights were mentioned such as
the opening
ceremony, the tours of Cedar Dell,
the food and ice cream, seeing the
old farm equipment, and seeing
many alumni back for the first time.
The sock hop on Saturday night was
a highlight of the weekend and the
Sunday morning church service was
delightful. The worship service was
high on everyone’s list.
“We also watched the Centennial
DVD. Some of us took a brisk walk
on the beach, but we didn’t stay too
long because it was really cold. Back
at the cottage, we enjoyed hot drinks
and S’mores. The evening ended
with Karaoke until the late night
hours.
“It was such fun remembering
how special the 100th anniversary was
to all of us. I am very thankful for the
opportunity to help plan this important anniversary. It was a time that I’ll
never forget and always cherish.”
A dear ol’ friend sent these
thoughts to me: “The time of giving
and receiving has come and gone for
another year and I hope you had a
great Christmas with Jesus at the center of it all. With the new year beginning, I was thinking. It seems to me
that as we go through life we all need
to learn some important lessons
about how to treat others. Here are
four to never forget.
“First Lesson – When I attended
college, there was a professor who
gave a test one day and the last question asked us to write down the name
of the ‘cleaning lady’ who cleaned
our room, hall and bathroom each
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/kennedyhomealumni
(252)671-3515
[email protected]
day. Someone asked the teacher if the
last question counted as part of the
grade. “Absolutely,” he said. In your
life, you will meet many people. All
are significant. They deserve your attention and care, even if all you do is
smile and say ‘Hello.’ I’ve never forgotten that lesson. A friend reminded
me to always let people in all jobs
know that you appreciate what they
do. Each one makes the world a better place.
“Second Lesson – This is a story I
heard about a lady who was standing
by the road in the rain. Her car had
broken down and she knew it wasn’t
safe to thumb but she had to get a
ride. A young man stopped, picked
her up, and got her to a safe place
and a taxi cab. She was in a big
hurry, but she took the time to get
his name and address. A week went
by and, to his surprise, a knock came
at his door. It was a delivery man
with a giant console color TV. A special note was attached. It read:
‘Thank you so much for assisting me
on the highway the other night. My
spirits were very low at the time and
then you came along. Because of
you, I was able to make it to my
dying husband’s bedside just before
he passed away. God Bless you.”
“Third Lesson – Do you remember
when an ice cream sundae cost much
less? There was a little 10-year-old
boy who went into a coffee shop and
sat at a table. He asked the waitress
how much was an ice cream sundae.
She told him and then he asked how
much would a plain dish of ice cream
cost? By now more people were waiting to be seated and the waitress was
growing impatient. “Thirty-five
cents,” she said with an irritated
tone.
“The little boy counted his change
and said. “I’ll have the plain dish of
ice cream.” She brought it, left the
bill on the table, and walked away.
“The boy finished the ice cream,
paid the cashier and left. When the
waitress came back, she began to cry
as she wiped the table. There, placed
neatly beside the empty dish, were
two nickels and five pennies. You see,
he couldn’t have the sundae because
he had to have enough left to leave
her a tip.
“Doesn’t this really touch your
heart? When I’m in line at a quick
food place, I always listen to the people ahead of me to see if they have
enough money to buy what they are
ordering. You never know who you
can help.
“I live in a military town. When
my son and I go out to eat, he and I
pay for a military man’s meal without
him knowing where it came from.
We love to see the surprise and expression on his face. Try it sometime.”
“Fourth Lesson – My friend is a
volunteer at a hospital. She told me
a story about a little girl who was suffering from a rare and serious disease.
The little girl’s only chance for recovery appeared to be a blood transfusion from her 5-year old brother,
who had miraculously survived the
same disease and had developed the
antibodies needed to combat the illness. The doctor explained the situation to her little brother and asked
the little boy if he would be willing
to give his blood to his sister. He
waited a few moments, took a deep
breath and said, ‘Yes, I’ll do it if it
will save her.’
“As the transfusion progressed, he
laid in bed next to her and smiled.
Then his face grew pale and his smile
faded. He looked up at the doctor
and asked with a trembling voice,
‘Will I start to die right away?’
“The five-year-old had misunderstood the doctor. The brother
thought he was going to have to give
his sister all of his blood in order to
save her. Would you do something
like this for your brother or sister?”
What great thoughts to ponder as
the new year begins. Becky and I
wish for you the best year that you
have ever had. Keep sending me reports so I can keep on keeping on
with this column.
Bless you all!
John Thompson was the choir
director at Kennedy Home from
1972-1977. Today, he enjoys a very
active retirement.
____________________________________________________________________
1/15 – Charity + Children – 128/1
11
[ HOMEWORD }
Washing dishes is more than
cleaning plates
_________________________________________________________
By Jim Edminson, Editor
K
athy and I have lived in more
apartments and houses than I care
to count in our 33 years of marriage.
And in all the places where we have lived,
only a few have had a dishwasher. Now,
I know how that may sound since a dishwasher is a prerequisite for many tenants
and homeowners. But for me, it’s not
something I’ve ever bemoaned. In fact, it
is at the kitchen sink I learned one of the
most important lessons of my married life.
Joel Houghton patented the first mechanical
dishwasher in 1850. It was a clanky, slow and
unreliable device. Houghton’s invention
attracted little attention since it was manipulated
by a crank and most thought it was easier just
to keep washing by hand.
The first viable dishwasher was introduced at
the 1883 Chicago World’s Fair. The driving force
was to create a device that would keep servants
from chipping fine china.
Englander William Howard Livens invented
the first domestic use dishwasher in 1924 coinciding with indoor plumbing and running water
in homes. But it was in the postwar boom of the
1950s when dishwashers became a commercial
success – well, among
more wealthy houseLOVE
LOVE
holds, that is.
is the greatest
Today, the dishof these.
washer is a commonplace, fine-tuned asset
that not only washes but properly sterilizes cups,
glasses and plates at temperatures of 150 to 180
degrees.
So if the modern microprocessor-controlled
dishwasher is such a great domestic tool, why
would I ever suggest washing dishes by hand?
It’s a little less reliable than the engineered dishwasher and it is certainly more labor intensive.
But the “how to” of dishwashing is not the
point. It is the “why” of hand-washing.
Kathy became a stay-at-home mom soon
after Kyle was born. I attended college classes
and worked. As all married couples, we divvied
our life’s chores. Kyle’s constant care and Kathy’s
determination to make our small college apartment a castle for me to return to after a 12-hour
day kept her busy and often exhausted.
At the end of one day, both tired, we met
at the loveseat, sat together and wrapped our
arms around each other. Before long, I felt
Kathy’s body go limp as she began breathing
deeply – she had fallen asleep. We both had long
days, but there was more to do – items from
Kathy’s list which had become way too long.
Laying her head on a pillow, I rose from the
loveseat, took a position at the kitchen sink,
and began washing the day’s dirty dishes.
At that time, I didn’t think about what Kathy
would think of me washing the dishes or if she
would be pleased, I only thought how I didn’t
want her to wake and have dishes to wash.
Nearing the end of the stack of plates, I looked
up to see her watching me. Our eyes met and she
smiled softly, laid her head down, and fell back
asleep.
So many years later, we do have a dishwasher.
Our lives remain hectic. Kathy and I take turns
loading the dishwasher and wiping the counters
and sink each evening.
Water on the floor near the dishwasher door
was the first indicator that a repairman was
needed. I called and we were told it would be
three days before the repairman could come to
our home. We would revert to washing by hand.
Kathy washed the first evening. The next
day had been exhausting for her and while sitting
together watching television I felt her body go
limp – she had fallen asleep. I held her until the
show we had been watching ended. I laid her
head on a pillow, rose from the loveseat, and
took a position at the kitchen sink.
I was rinsing the last of the dishes and about
to dry when Kathy walked into the kitchen and
our eyes met. She walked toward the laundry
room and as she passed me, she grinned and said,
“You look handsome washing those dishes.”
There are many acts of love one can do
to build a strong marriage. For husbands, let
me suggest placing washing dishes near the
top of the list. Clean plates are not the only
good results.
Edminson is editor of Charity & Children and writes
“Homeword” to inspire and encourage families in the midst
of full lives and hectic schedules. He has recently published
his first book Under One Roof. Email him at wjedminson@bchfamily. org or call 1.800.476.3669, ext. 1217 for
information on how you can get your copy. Proceeds benefit the children and
families served by BCH. Also, contact Jim for speaking availability.
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Eight-year-old Thomas and
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