4 THE DUMB ONE EPISODE

Transcription

4 THE DUMB ONE EPISODE
EPISODE
4
THE DUMB ONE
TEASER: “HOW YOOO DOIN’?”
FADE IN:
INT. LIVING ROOM - NEW YORK APT - EVENING
We open on three familiar, hip, late 20s “friends” in the middle of a
deep conversation.
MONICA: Joey, what would you do if you
were omnipotent?
JOEY: I'd probably kill myself.
MONICA: Excuse me?
JOEY: Hey, if "Little Joey's" dead, then
I got no reason to live.
ROSS: Uhh, Joey ... (Slowly) Omnipotent.
JOEY: You are? Ross, I'm sorry.
Ohhhhh Joey, Joey, Joey. How many times while watching an episode
of “Friends” (or “Joey” for that matter) do you find yourself smiling ear to
ear and then laughing hysterically at the sweet, childlike naivete displayed
by Matt LeBlanc? For many addicted viewers, he is the reason they watch.
No matter what the situation, Joey Tribbiani approaches and looks at it in
a different way. That’s because he hasn’t got a clue. Still, what comes out
of his mouth is often cute and sweet and almost always ridiculously funny.
He is sincere, positive and childlike. He has no idea just how, well, stupid
he can sometimes be, like in this scene from “Friends” where he’s giving
dating advice to Rachel.
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JOEY: Rach, you gotta find out if he's in
the same place you are. Otherwise, it's just
a moo point.
RACHEL: A moo point?
JOEY: Yeah. It's like a cow's opinion. It
just doesn't matter. It's moo.
Good joke. But in the hands of Matt LeBlanc’s skillful characterization, that line becomes a great joke. It’s because he has no clue how
simple he is, and he is so genuine and sweet and innocent. He really
believes what he says, even if it seems absurd to us (and for that, you can’t
help but love him). Plus, he can always be counted on to “amp up” the
comedy in a scene just by opening his mouth. Almost everything he says is
funny because he is The Dumb One.
ACT ONE WHO IS THE DUMB ONE?
The Dumb One is a character that has been around forever, almost
exclusively as a best friend or sidekick. One need look no further than the
1950s and the wonderful, sweetly naive Gracie Allen of the husband and
wife team “Burns & Allen.”
GEORGE: Say goodnight Gracie.
GRACIE: (Waves) Goodnight, Gracie.
And this character continued to flourish in the 60s with the not so
bright “townsfolk” like Gomer Pyle (Jim Nabors) and his cousin Goober
(George Lindsey) on “The Andy Griffith Show” or goofball hicks like
Jethro Bodine (Max Baer Jr.) on “The Beverly Hillbillies.”
In the 70s, television gave us the dumb blonde like Chrissy (Suzanne
Somers) on “Three’s Company” and the dumb hunk like Vinnie Barbarino
(John Travolta) on “Welcome Back, Kotter.” We also saw the likes of
dumb older characters like Ted Baxter (Ted Knight) on “The Mary Tyler
Moore Show.” This carried into the 80s with characters like Coach
(Nicholas Colasanto) from “Cheers” or Rose (Betty White) on “Golden
Girls.”
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In the 90s, there was Lowell (Thomas Haden Church) from “Wings”
and the emergence of the dumb jocks like Joey Qoey Lawrence) on
“Blossom,” Kelso (Ashton Kutcher) on “That ‘70s Show” and of course,
Matt LeBlanc’s Joey.
They are some of the most beloved characters of all time because
actually, The Dumb One is really the comedic relief in a sitcom. Comedic
relief? In a sitcom? Yes. You see, The Dumb One is often a character that
can make people laugh with a line or a look or just by being in the scene.
They are an important character for many sitcoms because they bring
instant humor just by being who they are ... dumb. And that’s why they
almost always get the last laugh (or at least the biggest). They are usually
supporting characters that don’t have (or need) as much dialogue. But
when they do open their mouths, it’s guaranteed to be a big joke. Want an
example?
In an early episode of “Cheers,” some of the regulars including Diane
(Shelley Long) are talking about lifelong dreams. Then, loyal but lightheaded Coach decides to join the conversation.
COACH: I'm working on a novel. Going on six
years now. I think I might finish it tonight.
DIANE: (Surprised) You're writing a
novel?
COACH: No. Reading it.
Characters like Coach and later Woody (Woody Harrelson) are vital
to “keeping the funny” in a show. But why are they mainly supporting
characters? Perhaps because of the childish and simplistic nature of the
character, there have not been many shows that have put The Dumb One
in the lead. Sometimes, like in the case of “Friends,” The Dumb One will
be part of an ensemble, but very rarely are they given their own show (that
is why so many industry insiders were curious to see how “Joey” would do
now that he didn’t have his friends with him).
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The Dumb One is a wonderfully funny character (if played right). As
an actor, it is one of the most difficult characters to play because there are
a lot of easy traps to fall into (I’ll discuss these in the following section).
But, it is also an incredibly rewarding character because if played well, it
can translate to instant and constant laughs. So let’s show you how to play
The Dumb One ... smart.
Commercial Break
And a Dumb One shall lead them...
As I mentioned in this episode, there are only a few shows in history
that have featured The Dumb One in the lead. And, interestingly enough,
most of them took place in the 1960s. First there was (“Shazam!”) Jim
Nabors in “Gomer Pyle USMC,” a spin-off of “The Andy Griffith Show”
that featured that beloved, simple-minded hayseed in the Marine Corps.
Then there was uGet Smart,” starring Don Adams as Maxwell Smart.
Not only was this show a big hit in its time, but it spawned numerous
catch phrases including “Missed vie by that much!” For those of you who
have never seen “Get Smart, ” Max is a cross between James Bond and
Austin Powers, but even dumber.
And finally, there's “The Munsters,” a broad-humored but funny
show, featuring Fred Gwynne as the sweetly naive Frankensteinesque
Hetman Munster The series often revolves around the other members of
the family constantly working to fix something Herman did, be it signing
up for ten years of dancing lessons or taking a sleeping pill and getting
himself locked in a sarcophagus at a museum of natural history. The show
features many of the other Eight Characters of Comedy, including his wife
Lily (Yvonne DeCarlo) as the ever-patient Logical Smart One. All the
characters on the show have their plotlines, but Herman can be counted
on week after week to do something dumb and to be adorable doing
it.Back to our show ...
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CHARACTERISTICS OF THE DUMB ONE
Affable
Honest
Childlike
Imaginative
Content
Innocent
Direct
Naive
Endearing
No ulterior motive
Enthusiastic
Oblivious
Excited
Positive
Friendly
Sincere
Genuine
Sweet
Good-natured
Unselfish
Gullible
Warm
Happy
ACT TWO A PROFILE OF THE DUMB ONE
Before we begin breaking this character down, let me reinforce the
importance of one of the Four Cs of Comedy here: Commitment. While
commitment is important in playing any of these characters, it is vital here.
Actors playing The Dumb Ones must believe they are The Dumb Ones;
which means they can’t know they are dumb. Confused yet? Read on and
hopefully the following profile will explain exactly where The Dumb One
is coming from. Just keep the word commitment in the back of your mind
as you read because only a truly committed actor can possibly pull this
character off.
Perpetual childhood
Let’s start with The Dumb One as a small child. As children, they are
very imaginative. They can entertain themselves. They are happy and
content to sit, eat Lucky Charms and watch Bugs Bunny cartoons. They
always play well with others, not really understanding the concepts of
greed, jealousy or being mean-spirited. They are affable and friendly kids
who want nothing more than to be happy and to make you happy.
Physically, they often have wide eyes, an open face and a huge smile. They
are often the youngest child in the family.
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This could mean they are cushioned and protected from the harsh realities
of life. Therefore, they never really develop common sense. But they
always mean well. That’s why they are so easy to like.
Now fast forward to adult Dumb Ones and you’ll see that they are
exactly the same. That’s right. That’s because The Dumb One’s main
characteristic is being childlike. Don’t believe me? Read the above
paragraph again. Doesn’t it remind you of Joey? For The Dumb One,
childhood is where it all begins and never ends. This is what makes these
characters so fascinating, so likable and so funny.
In the rest of this section, I’ll talk about a lot of specific characteristics. But you should notice that all of these characteristics have
something in common. They are all characteristics of a small child. And
this is the MOST IMPORTANT trait for The Dumb One to embrace.
Often, when am I getting newer actors to try to play this role, I have to
grab them by the wrist and lead them back to their childhood. Unlike
dramatic acting, I take them back to a specific happy time for them—like
Christmas morning, riding a pony or getting a new bike. This is not easy
for most adults to do, but it is vital if you want to play this role.
Think of how excited a child can get when he or she finds something
that fascinates them. Think of how innocent they can be when they
discover something new. Think of how endearing they are when they try
to tell a story or remember a joke. Much like The Lovable Loser, The
Dumb Ones are always enthusiastic about their idea, the words they’re
speaking, something they’ve found, the scene, life in general. They are
always very positive people and a source of joy for everyone who knows
them.
The adult Dumb Ones are the same way. Watch Art Carney as Ed
Norton on “The Honeymooners,” like in this scene where he’s trying to
make Ralph feel better after he lost his job.
ED: Come on, boy, let's have a little smile.
(Ralph forces a smile) There, that's my boy.
Bigger, bigger, that's it! That's the way
you gotta stay even if it takes a whole year
to get a job. Even if you never get another
job!
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RALPH: A fat lot I've got to smile about.
Nine years on the job. Today I'm fired and by
tomorrow I'm forgotten. They won't even
remember what I look like.
ED: That's great! (THEN) Go right back
tomorrow morning and ask for a job!
Or check out Jean Stapleton as Edith Bunker on “All in the Family.”
In this scene, the Bunkers are all having a family chat on capital
punishment.
ARCHIE: Go ahead, ask your mother, she
believes in capital punishment.
GLORIA: Do you, Ma?
EDITH: Well, sure.
GLORIA: MA?!
EDITH: Well, as long as it ain't too severe.
Art and Jean are amazing in showing exactly how to bring a childlike
innocence to an adult character. That’s what you need to bring to the role
instead of playing dumb. You need to be childlike in your acting if you’re
going to play The Dumb One well. You need to get excited over small
things. You need to pout, not get angry. Find the disappointment (not the
resentment) when things don’t go your way. You need to always stay
positive and show that sweet, warm side of you. It doesn’t matter what
the scene is about, you need to put aside your adult perception of it and
approach it with the innocence of a child. And most successful actors, whether
playing drama or comedy, are in touch with their inner child—as they
should be.
Makes sense, right? Because in the craft of acting, you have to
“pretend, play dress up and escape to a make-believe land.” And trust me,
not only does this childlike nature keep you working as an actor, but if you
play The Dumb One on a sitcom, it seems to keep you looking younger.
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Case in point, Tony Danza. He is a great example of an actor keeping in
touch with his childlike spirit and still looking youthful. Twenty-five years
on TV proves it. And it all goes back to his first character, Tony Banta on
“Taxi.”
Tony Banta is definitely not the brightest bulb in the socket, but more often
that not, he is the one that many of the other characters will talk to when
something is bothering them, be it Bobby (Jeff Conaway) having trouble
with his acting career or Elaine (Marilu Henner) having boy troubles. The
reason they confide in him is because of his sunny disposition. He is always
positive, always happy and always there to cheer them up; usually by saying
something stupid or flashing that goofy grin (that sunshine smile). His
intention is always to help them, to reassure them the only way he knows
how, even if we see it as silly or stupid.
Danza later brought a similar character (with just a tad more common
sense) to “Who’s the Boss?”
TONY: I'm Tony Micelli. I'm here about the job.
ANGELA (Judith Light): Oh, I'm sorry. There must be a
mistake. This job is for a housekeeper.
TONY: That's me, Mr. Goodmop! (Flashing grin). Ay-oh.
Oh-ay.
Really, for you the actor to play The Dumb One, you need to harness that
sunshine inside of you and let it out in the scene. The Dumb Ones are
often very likable, and it’s because of these childlike qualities. If they were
mean-spirited and dumb, you wouldn’t be rooting for them. If you play the
character with joy and enthusiasm, the audience will find you adorable and
love you for it.
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Commercial Break
The Dumb One as a Villain?
Although this is extremely rare, there have been cases where sitcom
writers have wanted to use “villains” in their show premise. The way they
often do this is by molding the villains after The Dumb One. Why?
Because viewers will still be able to like them, at least a little. It makes these
so-called villains less threatening, as is the case with “Hogan's Heroes. ”
Col. Wilhelm Klink (Werner Klemperer) and Sgt. Hans Schultz (John
Banner) are the epitome of The Dumb One, even though they tiy to act
like they know what they're doing in running the P.O.W. camp. Both are
such bumbling goofballs, that you find yourselfalmost liking them ... which
is weird considering they're Nazis!
Back to our show ...
Duh!
I know this probably goes without saying, but The Dumb One is
DUMB (even if they don’t realize it). They are oblivious to life. Not
consciously oblivious (like The Lovable Loser), but oblivious to what is
happening around them. Think of one of the all-time greats, Homer
Simpson (voiced by Dan Castellaneta). Check out this exchange where
Homer is shocked by daughter Lisa’s decision to go vegetarian.
HOMER: Are you saying you're never going to
eat any animal again? What about bacon?
LISA: No.
HOMER: Ham?
LISA: No!
HOMER: Pork chops?
LISA: Dad, those all come from the same
animal!
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HOMER: (Chuckling) Oh yeah, right Lisa ... a
wonderful, magical animal.
(Notice the Extended Triplet in Homer’s
dialogue.)
Homer is a sweet, enthusiastic and immature teddy bear and oh- sodumb. Dumb, dumb, dumb. How dumb is he? He is soooo dumb that he
prays to Superman, he invented a gun to shoot makeup on women and he
has driven around Springfield collecting grease as a way to make money.
And those are simply everyday plans for Homer. Although the writers
constantly put him in Lovable Loser storylines, where he desperately and
hopefully wants something week after week, at his core, Homer has all the
characteristics of The Dumb One. And even though his brain tries to keep
him out of trouble (yes, he talks to his brain like it’s a separate entity),
Homer just can’t avoid being dumb, especially when he tries to pull
something over on Marge.
MARGE: (Knows he's been at Moe's bar)
Homer, where have you been?
HOMER'S BRAIN: Don't say the bar, don't say
the bar, don't say the bar.
HOMER: Pornography. I was buying
pornography.
Oh Homer... "D’Oh!"
I need to stress the difference between playing dumb and playing
sweetly naive like Joey or innocent and gullible like Homer. “Playing
dumb” is a major pothole that a lot of actors fall into. More often than not,
new actors will play this role by adding “uhhs” to the dialogue or blankly
staring into space while twirling their hair. Do not play dumb! If you play
dumb, you’re showing you’re acting and nobody wants to see you “acting.”
As I tell my students, if you’re caught acting, then the Acting Police are
going to take you away to SAG prison and you will be forced to watch
beginning actresses of all ages perform Laura from “The Glass Menagerie.”
Believe me, it ain’t pretty!
Instead, to play The Dumb One, latch on to those things that you
know nothing about (and use how you feel in those situations) for playing
this character.
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For example, I know very little about rocket propulsion. If I were in the
middle of a conversation I eagerly wanted to be a part of (because The
Dumb One is always enthusiastic), how would I contribute to a
conversation about rocket propulsion? What would come out of my
mouth? Til tell you right now, it wouldn’t be anything intelligent (by the
way, if you know a lot about rocket propulsion and feel like you could
participate in a conversation on this topic, you might want to jump back
and read The Neurotic episode again).
Just think of the show “Coach” with Bill Fagerbakke’s take as
Dauber, one of the assistant football coaches. Dauber is always throwing
his two cents in, and the fact is, he never really knows what he is talking
about ... even when it comes to football! But it doesn’t stop him because he
is just as enthusiastic as he is naive.
Here’s another great one ...
ROSE: Can I ask a dumb question?
BLANCHE: Like no one else.
Enter Rose Nylund, played by Betty White. There are times you can’t
believe how naive she is. But she is so sweet and eager to join the
conversation, that you always want to hear from her ... well that, and she
makes you laugh.
ROSE: You know what they say ... You can
lead a herring to water, but you have to
walk really fast or he'll die.
Commercial
Break Reality check
A good reality television example of The Dumb One would be the
genuine and childlike William Hung on “American Idol. ” He has no clue
how bad his singing is, but his enthusiasm makes him endearing.
Or, Jessica Simpson on “Newlyweds. ” Though sweet and likable, she
says and does some things that are just unbelievable.
Back to our show ...
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Never tell a lie
Once again, chalk these qualities up to more reasons why most
viewers love watching The Dumb One. There is nothing false about them.
They are true to themselves and more often than not, they are proud of it.
They always tell the truth, even if they say something that is obviously
incorrect. But to The Dumb One, what they say is the truth. Once again,
it’s about commitment.
Actually, that makes for great comedy when The Dumb One is paired
up with The Logical Smart One. There are scenes where the two will get
into a tiff over something and it’s apparent to all that The Logical Smart
One is right. But that doesn’t stop The Dumb One from standing his or
her ground.
It’s important for an actor to bring sincerity and honesty to this
character. The Dumb Ones are very genuine people. The idea of lying or
cheating never really occurs to them and if it does, it is well planned and
done for a very important purpose (like saving the world from evil-doers).
Even then, they’re not very good at it. They always get found out or admit
to it before they get found out.
The Dumb One often says whatever pops into their mind, even their
subtext. They never edit themselves. This character can be very direct even
if they don’t realize what they’re saying is obvious or inappropriate. Think
of that little niece or nephew who innocently blurts out that you have “a
weird head” or that “your breath smells funny.” The Dumb One will often
say something offensive without realizing it’s offensive, and if played right,
it makes for a good laugh. This is another area where writers can have
some fun and actors can feel some flexibility with the character.
You’ve got a friend in me
Okay, okay, by now you’re probably getting the point that The Dumb
Ones are really easy to like. Everyone would like a Dumb One as a friend.
You might not want them to operate on you or represent you in court or
even watch your house while you’re away. But you want them in your life.
And why not? With their sunny disposition and their core desire to make
everyone happy, they are a joy to be around.
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And even if they’re doing something wrong, chances are they’re doing
it to help you. They are unselfish people who have no ulterior motive.
They will easily give of themselves to make the world a better place. They
are full of goodness and want everybody to be happy, just like them.
They don’t really understand why people get into long, drawn out
fights or how people can be mean to each other. It actually stuns them.
They might get mad at times, but it’s easily forgotten. They are simply
friendly, good-natured and affable, meaning they really can get along
with just about anybody (which makes it easy for writers to move them in
and out of scenes and various storylines).
Want proof? Try and think of a moment in “Cheers” where you ever
found yourself annoyed with Coach or Woody. You can’t, can you? The
same can be said about all Dumb Ones. Even the ones who aren’t as sweet,
like the pompous anchorman Ted Baxter (“The Mary Tyler Moore Show”)
have something likable about them.
TED: It's actually tomorrow in Tokyo. Do you
realize that there are people alive here in
Minneapolis who are already dead in Tokyo?
How can you not like somebody that still has the zest for life and the
innocence of a small child? Sure they might frustrate you with their
ignorance or naivete and you wouldn’t really want to trust them with
anything important, but their enthusiasm and sweet demeanor make them a
pleasure to know and fun to watch. That’s why we love them and root for
them
Who in your life is the Dumb One?.
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THE DUMB ONE ... AND MORE
The Dumb One is a character that seems to work well with most of
the other characters because of the humor they bring by simply being
themselves. They definitely work well with The Neurotic (think of how
frustrated Monica gets with Joey at times). They also work well with a
Logical Smart One who is trying to explain something The Dumb One
can’t comprehend.
But there is one character that is a little harder to play opposite The
Dumb One, and that is The Bitch / Bastard. Although it has been played
out successfully in “The Mary Tyler Moore Show” and “Gomer Pyle
USMC,” The Dumb One and The Bitch / Bastard are typically not paired
up very often. We’ll get to that in the next episode.
Unlike other characters, The Dumb One almost exclusively sticks to
his or her own characteristics, not borrowing as much from other
characters. You will rarely see The Dumb One act neurotic, as they are
uncomplicated and content with their life. You will hardly see them as
mean-spirited and you will only really see them in the role of The Logical
Smart One if a specific scene calls for them to be the voice of reason. But
know that they will return to their character on the blow of the scene.
A good sign that they are unlike other characters is that The Dumb
One is never sarcastic (even if they try to be from time to time). Sarcasm
requires intelligence, something The Dumb One lacks. They are such
honest and sincere people, they don’t really understand the concept of
sarcasm, and as such, it comes off as false. The Dumb One isn’t good at
lying and sarcasm is telling a lie. Also, sarcastic remarks are a way for some
characters to lash out at the world. The Dumb Ones don’t want to lash
out, not even for a second. As a Dumb One, you have plenty of places
from which to draw humor, so sarcasm doesn’t need to be one of them.
The only minor variation you might see in these characters is that
they might be toned down if they’re showing up in a singlecamera
comedy, like Frank Burns (Larry Linville) on “MASH” or Charlotte York
(Kristin Davis) on “Sex and the City.”
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A multi-camera comedy is more heightened and open to a broader
comedic interpretation (hyper-reality). But in these single-camera
comedies, you simply can’t be as dumb as Joey or Rose because singlecamera is more intimate. The feel of the show is more realistic, like a
feature film. There are more close-ups. Therefore, the actor’s
interpretations—their intentions, thoughts, facial expressions and
physicalities—should be more specific and less heightened. In singlecamera comedies, these actors play up the naivete, the gullibility and the
innocence in a very funny, yet more realistic way. Kristen Davis, Larry
Linville and other single-camera comedy actors are really playing The
Naive One rather than The Dumb One.
Possible intentions for The Dumb One:
To Please To Make
happy To Excite To
Make proud To Play
To Be honest To
Create harmony To
Encourage To
Support To Comfort
Final Thoughts On Playing The Dumb One
Some of you might see some similarities between this character and
The Lovable Loser. While they do both end up making dumb choices at
times, there is a big difference in their approach. Remember, I called The
Lovable Loser “consciously oblivious,” meaning they are aware that
something is wrong or that their idea might not be the best one, but they
are blinded by their own want. The Dumb One is actually the opposite.
They aren’t aware in the least that this would be a bad idea. Otherwise
they wouldn’t do it. Their messes are a result of their simply being
oblivious, not consciously oblivious to a situation. That’s a big difference
and an important one between these two characters.
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So, there is a lot more involved in playing The Dumb One than you
thought, isn’t there? Don’t worry, if it’s close to who you are, you can
play it. It’s just a matter of finding what part of you is in The Dumb One,
meaning what part of you is sincere, genuine, enthusiastic and childlike.
When I was an agent in New York back in the 80s, I worked with
Matt LeBlanc. I got to be a part of the beginning of his career and I got
to watch on TV as he developed this character that would make him so
famous. When “Friends” ended, Barbara Walters interviewed Matt and
asked him if he saw any part of himself in Joey “I mean, Joey’s a dimwit
and you’re certainly not,” Walters said. And she’s right. Matt is not a
dimwit. He is a successful, talented, comedic actor. What I found most
interesting was that Matt Le Blanc was looking for the right words to
express what part of him is Joey Instead, he just smiled that childlike grin
and said, “I don’t know. I just understand Joey.”
Matt is not Joey but he does possess many of these qualities. Matt
was always a sweet, good-natured and sincere guy. When I last saw him, it
was 1993 in L.A. (right before “Friends”). I was a commercial casting
director, and I suggested him for a part. I remember after the session, I
walked him outside and he showed me his new motorcycle with
enthusiastic pride, much in the way Joey would.
The point is that Matt, who is really an intelligent guy, was able to
draw from his childlike qualities, just like every other classic Dumb One
character has done since the start of sitcoms. He didn’t decide he was
going to “play dumb.” He tapped into his childlike nature and it worked.
Check him out in this episode of “Joey” talking to his nephew
Michael (Paulo Costanzo):
MICHAEL: What is the best news I could give
you?
JOEY: (Truly excited) They fixed the
vending machine? Oooh, we got a ping pong
table? Oh wait, Kool and the Gang got back
together?
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Joey is excited about everything. He only wants everybody to be
happy, to have fun and to live where he is ... in perpetual childhood. This
is what you need to do. Whether you’re acting this character or writing it,
you need to go back to when you were six or seven years old and think
of how the world looked and then apply that perspective to your
character. This will help you make your Dumb One sweet, likable, naive,
honest and very funny.
And if you’re still struggling, watch the classic episode of “Friends”
where Joey introduces his “Tribbiani Method of Acting. ”
JOEY: Okay, some tricks of the trade.
Now, I've never been able to cry as an
actor, so if I'm in a scene where I have to
cry, I cut a hole in my pocket, take a pair
of tweezers and just start pulling. Or ah,
or, let's say I want to convey that I've
just done something evil. That would be the
basic 'I have a fish hook in my eyebrow and
I like it.' (Raises one eyebrow and shows
off pretend fish hook) Okay, let's just say
I've gotten some bad news, well all I do
there is try and divide 232 by 13. (Looks
all confused) And that's how it's done.
FADE OUT
TAG:
ANNOUNCER V.O.: In the next episode of "The
Eight Characters of Comedy," The Dumb One
has a dream to work at FAO Schwarz, but
that dream doesn't sit well with his
nagging, manipulative girlfriend or his
bitter, mean-spirited father.
Watch the carnage as The Dumb One defies
The Bitch and The Bastard.
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ROLL CREDITS ...
Here is a list of some of the great Dumb Ones in sitcom history.
Character
Actor
Show
Gracie Allen
Tony Banta
Vinnie Barbarino
Ted Baxter
Jethro Bodine
Woody Boyd
Blondie Bumstead
Kelly Bundy
Edith Bunker
Gloria Bunker-Stivic
Frank Burns
Dauber Dybinski
Hal
Synclaire James-Jones
Michael Kelso
Lowell Mather
Tony Micelli
Herman Munster
Ed Norton
Rose Nylund
Ernie “Coach” Pantusso
Goober Pyle
Gomer Pyle
Joey Russo
Sgt. Hans Schultz
Homer J. Simpson
Maxwell Smart
Chrissy Snow
Dick Solomon
Joey Tribbiani
Charlotte York
Gracie Allen
Tony Danza
John Travolta
Ted Knight
Max Baer Jr.
Woody Harrelson
Pamela Britton
Christina Applegate
Jean Stapleton
Sally Struthers
Larry Linville
Bill Fagerbakke
Bryan Cranston
Kim Coles
Ashton Kutcher
Thomas Haden Church
Tony Danza
Fred Gwynne
Art Carney
Betty White
Nicholas Colasanto George
Lindsey
Jim Nabors
Joey Lawrence
John Banner
Dan Castellaneta
Don Adams
Suzanne Somers
John Lithgow
Matt LeBlanc
Kristin Davis
132
The Bums and Allen Show
Taxi
Welcome Back, Kotter
The Mary Tyler Moore Show
The Beverly Hillbillies
Cheers
Blondie
Married ... With Children
All in the Family
All in the Family
MASH
Coach
Malcolm in the Middle
Living Single
That ‘70s Show
Wings
Who’s the Boss
The Munsters
The Honeymooners
Golden Girls
Cheers
The Andy Griffith Show
The Andy Griffith Show
Blossom
Hogan’s Heroes
The Simpsons
Get Smart
Three’s Company
3rd Rock From the Sun
Friends/Joey
Sex and the City