Document 6482387

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Part I: Catch Her, If You Can...
I’m going to talk to you straight, one guy to another. This short manual on closing is graphic, it’s
direct, and it’s blunt. I won’t pull punches and I will not apologize. We’re here to talk about sex.
The thing that makes sex a challenge for so many guys is this: they haven’t figured out how to
gain easy access to the female body. It’s that simple.
But let’s back up a second. What is closing, anyhow? Thematically, the “close” is the action
moment where a man breaks a woman. If done properly, it’s the moment she capitulates to his
male strength. You can number close a girl on the street. You can kiss close a girl in the club.
You can fuck-close (disgusting term, in my opinion) a chick back at your place. All of these
closes require two qualities, qualities that are the distillation of masculine behavior and attitude.
Those qualities are: Clarity and Confidence. If you don’t possess them, no amount of filler,
routines or logistical trickery is going to get you laid. You can try as hard as you’d like, but
without a strong close, all these prospects - and all the hard work you’ve done to line them up will go up in smoke. This short manual will give you the Clarity by explaining what to do and
when to do it; Confidence will come from practice.
Why Closing is Important
My e-book Janka Method will teach you how to create “windows” of opportunity, but to
capitalize on the moment, you must know how to pull the trigger. The reason one guy is able to
convert a hot girl into a “girlfriend” while another dude must settle for “just being friends” is that
the former was a strong closer. There are a lot of technical details on closing, and I’ll get into
those in a minute, but it’s crucial you understand your role because failure to close is the number
one reason women don’t come back. I know from experience that I can impress a girl on a first
date, I can be funny, make her comfortable, even spend money on her, but if I don’t get physical
she’ll often fail to materialize for date #2. There’s something that happens when a man and
women share a physical moment, even if it’s just a kiss. That simple connection provokes
something in her body and she feels compelled to see you again. I know this from thousands of
dates.
In fact, I can be a lousy date in every regard - cheap, lazy, fail to make plans, unshaven and
dressed like a slob - but if I can make the move and get in there, the girl often comes back. It
works like this: a desirable woman has a screen - a block - and most men can’t get past it. She
knows that, and though she may socialize with all types of men, she only really pays attention to
those who can break through the wall she’s erected. If you can get to her physically - access her
body, in the crudest terms - you will have accomplished what 90% of men have failed to do. In
doing so, you’ll have made an impression on her. Her thinking proceeds thus: “He was able to
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get in my pants, therefore he must be an alpha-male and therefore desirable as a mate.” It
happens on such an unconscious, biological level that most women can’t explain it. That’s why
all the cosmetics - clothes, nice car, manners, fancy dinners - don’t matter much in the end. The
man who can maneuver to gain access turns out to be the one she chases.
Why the Apartment is Pivotal
The biggest problem in today’s dating scene is that the focus is all wrong. Dating, most people
will agree, is about a connection - which can lead to companionship, partnership and romance. A
common denominator, of course, is sex. Which we all love! But, the problem is that the majority
of courtship occurs in non-sexual venues where escalation is difficult, if not impossible.
That’s where Janka Method comes in - it will teach you the how and why of female attraction.
As you’ll learn, making a physical connection quickly is imperative. Failure to do this results in
the “friend zone” and her feeling that she had a pleasant - as opposed to electric - time with you.
It’s the rare guy who can keep a desirable girl’s interest without creating a physical spark,
especially in the modern dating scene where there’s heavy competition. If you don’t make your
mark, there’s another guy - in many ways just like you - right nearby who can claim the sexy
female. Physical contact releases something within a woman - not least of all romance
neurotransmitters like serotonin and dopamine - that creating craving in her. A craving for you!
Let’s start with the basics: it’s hard to escalate in public. I’ve done it - on benches, in the park, in
the back seat of taxicabs, on the beach - but it’s not ideal. You need the right type of girl, under
the right influences, at the right time. Aligning all these conditions is tricky. It’s a lot better to
have her undivided attention and the supporting role of a sexy bachelor pad.
As you’ll see when I discuss some technical aspects of “closing” below, your apartment must be
the pivot point for all your dating. It’s the place you always want to end up and it’s the place
where you want to spend a few dollars. Spend money on your game by fixing up your place
nicely, not on feeding a string of girls at overpriced restaurants. Your apartment is the one place
in the city (or suburbs) that you fully control. You know where everything is, you know how to
maximize its benefits: a view, a balcony, a nice stereo, a jacuzzi. Make it the centerpiece of your
dating strategy: your itinerary should start and end in your apartment. I’ll explain how to do this
in a bit, but for now I want you to re-conceptualize your apartment as Headquarters.
And here’s another main reason the apartment is so crucial, and perhaps the number one
underutilized asset in a guy’s arsenal: only in the privacy of an apartment, alone with the girl,
can you really bring out your best game. Let me explain.
Years ago, I started to realize that I wasn’t at my best on dinner dates. Turns out there are many
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reasons for this: I had to pay, which is depressing. I got full and tired. Eating, generally speaking,
isn’t sexy. I had to do everything - feed myself, be charming and keep the conversation going,
and in the end, pay for the whole thing! What a raw deal! But, there was another reason that
“outside” dates were less than effective: I wasn’t circling for the kill. When an attractive girl is
sitting on my couch, giving me her full attention, I’m at my best. I know I’m under the lens, and
so is she. I do my best work when the “kill” is palpable. I am charming, attentive, funny and
hyper-alert to details. The music is perfect, the temperature is ideal. She’s sitting in the perfect
spot. If she wants a drink, she’s got it. We’re alone. It’s now or never, and I know it. My body
knows it. My brain knows it. My cock knows it.
The imminent possibility of sex is a powerful motivator. It brings out my best performance, and
it’ll bring out your best, too. That’s why “outside” dates are never as intense or the chemistry is
more diffuse. And forget about group “dates” or whatever they’re called. When there’s not the
possibility of immediate sex, the male is much more relaxed, distractible and error prone. It’s
biology.
And here’s the kicker: the female body and mind will respond. She’ll recognize this incredible
intensity in you and will do one of two things: engage or flee. It’s that simple. And either way,
you’re better off, having collected real information about her, rather than bullshit pleasantries
that often emerge from public, group or social interactions.
Of course, this must sound aggressive, and it even seems a bit extreme as I type it here, now.
But, it’s the truth, and at the beginning I gave you my word I’d only tell you the truth, the stuff
that actually works. I’ve slept with well over 200 women, and this is a fundamental rule of
attraction. If you don’t create the conditions to allow for this type of sexual exchange, you’re not
really looking for a sexual partner - you’re looking for a friend.
Grand Irony #1: You Can’t Mention The Apartment
It’s entirely ludicrous that you can’t reference the apartment in the early stages, even though for
this thing to work you both have to end up in the apartment. It’s a female form of pacing that
they want to strip (or more accurately American society wants to strip) any blatant reference to
sex from the initial courtship, lest this thing expire in the fumes of lust.
And because your object of desire can pull the plug at any time, you have to play by the rules
(sort of!). So, don’t mention the apartment, but know that your game is all about getting her back
to it ASAP.
Here are two techniques that have been field-tested by me and other heavy-number guys…
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1) The Swing By
Here you station yourself at the apartment with no intention of leaving. That’s the key. Choose a
bar or lounge in your hood and tell her you want to meet there at 9PM, for example. Fifteen
minutes before 9 o’clock, text her: “Just getting ready. Swing by and grab me. We’ll head over to
Flannigan’s together...”
Hopefully, she responds, “Ok.” When she arrives, communicate - via text or a call - that you’re
not quite ready, but tell her to, “Pop up while I finish getting ready.” This takes finesse and
plenty of practice, and there will always be some that won’t come up. But, for those who do,
you’ve got a good thing going. Have a drink poured and offer her something. And then,
depending on her level of restlessness, persuade her to remain and enjoy the mood, the music,
the drinks, the conversation - in essence, everything she hoped for on the date - while she chills
at your place. When it comes to getting physical, it’ll make your work much easier.
2) Let’s Bounce
If you do the lounge routine, you will need to transition to your place, which is always the
hardest part - girls aren’t stupid. They know sexual math: private residence = access to my
vagina.
You have to get her back without raising any red flags, which is hard, especially with a desirable
woman who’s seen it all. If you have liquor on your side, or the heavy make-out has begun,
you’re in luck. You don’t have much to do, just not fuck it up. But, for most dates, you’ll have to
transition to your place smoothly.
After your second drink at the bar, tell the girl you’re tired of this place and you have another
cute spot in mind. Hail a cab/walk/drive, if sober/bicycle (hey, you never know!) back to your
place without disclosing where exactly you’re taking her. When you arrive, give her a kiss - if
you can - and announce, “We’re here!”
It helps to seed the idea a bit earlier, by mentioning something in the apartment that may intrigue
her: a particular photo album, music track, yearbook, piece of art, etc. I know a guy who sells the
fact that he has an indoor planetarium. Other things that work are a full-service, nicely appointed
wet bar, DVD or spectacular view. Anything can work, and the function of the “prop” is really to
allow the girl to lie to herself that she wants to see this thing at your place, rather than having to
admit to herself that she wants to be naughty. It’s an excuse to proceed. It allows her to justify
entering your place on the first date.
This conversation happens entirely in her head, and it’s often subconscious.
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The thing to notice about both examples - The Swing By and Let’s Bounce - is that you can’t
overtly call out the apartment. Though she ends up inside in both scenarios, it’s has to happen
without her admitting to herself, “Now, I am entering a guy’s apartment.”
It must happen fluidly. And it depends on superb salesmanship.
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Part II: Once Inside
Let’s get technical... After all, it comes down to the right moves, when you and the girl are alone.
You can be sure she’s ready if she’s a) alone with you in a private place and b) the sun is down.
That’s a tried-and-true rule.
The Set-Up
First off, you have to have a clean, comfortable and sexy pad. That means get your clothes off
the floor, dog-hair off the futon and toothpaste splatters (a big problem for me!) off the bathroom
sink. It wouldn’t hurt to spin the toilet brush once around the bowl, either.
Music
To each his own. However, you do want a mood that’s sexy and relaxing. Some ideas: Billie
Holiday, Ella Fitzgerald & Louis Armstrong do Gershwin, Lenny Kravitz. You have plenty to
choose from, just make sure it’s mellow and can function as soothing background music to
support your game. Keep all the loud, jarring, metal rock for another time. Even rock n’ roll
usually fails to set the right mood. Believe me, girls get naked to Billie like you wouldn’t
believe... Come to think of it, any female vocalist may do - it’s suggestive and non-threatening.
It’s best if you create a playlist that runs for over an hour, closer to two. That way, you can come
in, hit “play” and just relax, forgetting about the music part of your set-up. Switching discs or
any kind of interruption is not helpful, so plan accordingly. And here’s a fun little trick: a buddy
of mine scales his playlist so that the music is upbeat and “fun” in the beginning - completely
non-sexual - and then slowly transitions to more suggestive, seductive music, such as bossa nova.
By track seven, 45 minutes into his “date” the Brazilian music is pumping deep sexual rhythms
and dulcet female vocals into the living room!
Furniture
You need a workbench, pure and simple, a place where you can sit side-by-side with the girl and
get the chemistry going. A couch can do this, but it’s often too long, so your move, sidling over
to her, will be obvious. A loveseat works better, and it’s especially good if it’s the only place to
sit in the living room. If there’s a single chair available and the girl is a bit guarded, she’s going
to sit in that chair, making your job very hard. Unfortunately, in this game, the difference
between developing a long-term girlfriend and not getting a second date with a girl often comes
down to seating, believe it or not! If you can’t get close enough, in a graceful way, to make the
move, she may leave the date thinking you’re a pleasant guy, but lacking in edge. On the other
hand, if you ravish her and get her pining for more, she’ll definitely come back.
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And this often comes down to where she sits when she comes into your place. I cannot
overemphasize this enough! It’s extremely awkward to kiss a girl when she’s seated in a single
armchair with armrests - you can’t get to her! And, if you’re new to the hustle, you may not have
enough confidence to tell her to stand up and then kiss her. So, getting her into an accessible
seating situation is critical.
The ideal piece of furniture is a daybed, available at places like Crate and Barrel. It’s simply a
twin-sized bed with armrests on both ends. There’s no back, but you can “create” one by placing
the daybed against a wall and propping several pillows up against it. As you start to get cozy
with the girl, and she’s responding, you can lay her down lengthwise, toss the pillows aside, and
you’ve got here in bed - voila!
Cache of Condoms
If you choose to practice safe sex, make sure you have a stash of prophylactics handy. In the heat
of the moment, you need to be able to reach with either hand and grab one. In Janka Method I
discuss the advantages and disadvantages of several hiding places.
Candles
Always a hit with women. Always. Go the extra length and get standing candelabra - it will
make a difference. A couple or three large-radius cylindrical candles atop 3’ candelabra will
increase your success rate, for sure. Have them lit, with your playlist going, the lights dimmed
and you’ll be more than halfway there.
Also, for years I used matches to light this type of candle. That was a mistake. On many
occasions I fumbled with them, and sometimes even burnt my fingers. This wasn’t smooth, and
certainly didn’t impress my date. Part of the problem is that as these large, cylindrical candles
burn, the center drops, but the peripheral wax remains high. This causes the wick to descend,
making it hard to reach with small matches. The best solution - told to me by a player buddy
who’s slept with over 400 girls - is to buy an electric wand lighter for $5 at the hardware store. It
has a long and narrow tip, and the flame comes out at the end, so you can dip it into the deep
candles and light them, no problem.
When to Kiss Her...
Imagine it’s all going according to plan... She’s back at your place, sitting on your good side,
relaxed. There’s nice, soft, suggestive music and mood-enhancing lighting in the apartment.
You’re feeling good; perhaps she’s had a drink or two. Now what? How do you know when to
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pull the trigger, and how do you do it?
First rule: pay attention to pauses
Hopefully, you’re talking about something suggestive, such as relationships, dating or sex. The
easiest cases take no coaxing - they’re just ready for it, and perhaps a bit raunchy. These are the
girls who talk openly about sex and how they love it and want it. Often, however, a girl will be a
bit demure, and she may sit with her knees together, drink cradled in her lap, responding to your
questions and generally engaged in the conversation. The trick is to lead the conversation
creatively into the kiss. There are variations on this, but the simplest template is to start
discussing kissing. Ask her about her first kiss... Can she remember it? Tell her to relive it right
now, by your side. Can she picture it, with her eyes closed? If she complies, you’re there - just
kiss her when her eyes are closed and her head is tilted back. A nice variation on this is to ask
about her most unexpected kiss - a time when a guy caught her off-guard with a smooch, and
how she yielded to his lips. This will set her up, as well.
A more aggressive variation on this, for experienced men, is to kiss her neck, and ear, maybe her
cheek, and then put some saliva on your fingers and circle it around her expectant lips, making
them moist and plump. Then you just pull her in and put your lips where you fingers just were.
Second rule: watch her eyes
Unconsciously, a woman’s gaze will dart to areas of sexual interest. They’ve done studies that
reveal how women scan a guy’s body - head, groin, feet, groin, torso, head - in a split-second,
before he knows what’s happening. They do this primarily to screen for physical compatibility
and health of a prospective mate.
The same thing happens when you’re close, under intimate conditions. She will quickly - or, if
you’re lucky, slowly - scan your lips when she’s ready for a kiss. When you are close and having
strong, tender eye contact, she will unwittingly look down to your lips, to see if they are clean,
moist and healthy. Even though she’s probably unaware she’s doing so, her actions are kisspreparation. She has just had the fleeting thought, “I wonder what it’d be like to kiss this man...”
Lean in and show her.
Third rule: use your hands
A lot of times, a women is actually ready for a kiss, but her head and body aren’t in the easiest
position for you to “go in for the kiss.” Here, some experience and boldness go a long way. It’s
perfectly appropriate for you to tenderly rub her neck (or the classic finger-under-the-chin) and
then gently turn her head towards yours. This dominant, but gentle, motion will get most women
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to yield, and they will tilt their head, part their lips, and receive your kiss. In fact, the gentle turninto-a-kiss is perhaps the most romantic thing a man can do, and will often get her swooning.
She’ll replay that moment many times over in her head.
What about Body Language...?
Some women are more sensual than others; it’s just a simple fact. Women vary considerably in
their level of experience with men, in how comfortable they are with their bodies, as well as how
relaxed they can be in a sexual environment. Because of this, it will take some time for you to
gauge a women’s response properly. As a general rule, a rigid or stiff girl doesn’t welcome your
advances, at least not yet, or in the manner you’re proceeding. That doesn’t mean she doesn’t
want to be physical - just that you haven’t found the right “key” to unlock her.
Here’s what you do: turn down the heat and back off. Give it a rest, but don’t let go completely
of the sexual tension, just let it breathe. This will become second nature the more experience you
develop, but in the beginning, if the girl resists, give her space. Often, if a girl has put herself in
an intimate position (night, alone with you, candles and wine) she’s open to being physical, but
she still wants to control the pacing. Let her. Often, her slight resistance is a test - and her body
will still get horny - because she wants to give you access, but wants you to respect her
boundaries, as well (this allows her to feel safe). It’s a fine line for women between a thrilling
hook-up and a scary encounter with a man. I’ve been physical with thousands of women, and I’ll
tell you that it’s delicate. Not least because different girls have widely divergent ideas of what’s
“thrilling” and also some require a lot of safety, some very little. In the beginning, err on the side
of caution.
“I” Girls vs. “L” Girls
This concept didn’t come to me right away, but after seducing a few hundred women and
spending a lot of time discussing and dissecting the logistics end of it with my player buddies, I
realized something crucial about the last step in the game. Just like sports, the “winning” team
must outplay its competitor and part of that is accomplished by having foresight, thinking ahead.
Wayne Gretzky famously said, “I skate to where the puck is going to be, not where it has been.”
In your closing game, you have to think the same way, and a lot of the skill is anticipating the
women, her mood, and the logistics of actually getting her naked. As I mentioned a few pages
back, proper seating is key to having a well-choreographed hook-up. If things aren’t well thought
out, you’ll have a hard time sleeping with a girl quickly. Which leads us to the importance of this
chapter...
As you begin feeling up a girl, she’s probably sitting down on a couch. You may be kissing,
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rubbing her thighs and stomach a bit. You go for her breasts and she lets you cup them and
massage them. They feel full in your hands. Your free hand comes behind her, putting tender
pressure on her lower back and then up to her neck. With a firm grasp you massage her neck and
run your fingers through her thick hair. So far, so good.
If things are moving quickly, you’ll quickly hit a logistical snag: she’s sitting down, in what I
call the “L” position. Her torso makes a right angle with her legs, creating her “lap.” That’s a
problem for your hands, and ultimately for your fingers, which are going to work her into a
frenzied state!
Crossing the denim Rubicon is much harder when the girl is sitting. If she has a belt on, forget
about instant access! Any attempted suaveness will be lost, and for the girl’s part, she’ll have to
fully acknowledge that she’s allowing you into her knickers. She won’t be able to later use the
excuse that, “It just happened!” Removing a tight belt and undoing tight-fitting jeans is a very
conscious, non-sexual process. And precisely because it’s such a milestone, it’s often the point at
which a girl reconsiders the pacing and decides to slow it down, or stop completely.
I’m telling you this from literally hundreds of encounters.
That’s why I love “I” Girls. You can avoid this snag altogether with a little planning and
foresight. What does that mean? Well, it means that you proceed with all the above-the-waist
nookie you want, but before you go for the panties, you either:
A) stand her up, or
B) lie her down.
It’s that simple. The key is to have discipline, the most important quality for a player to possess.
Although you obviously want to put your hands in her pants, wait until you’ve got her standing
against a wall or lying on the bed, couch or floor.
The reason this works is that the female guard is in lock-step with male escalation: the faster you
try to get her naked, the more she’ll resist (usually). Postpone the coup de grace, and she’ll agree
to re-positioning because you haven’t tried to get in her pants yet, and she’s enjoying the
juvenile, above-the-waste make-out session. By getting her into the “I” position before you
plunge your hand into her knickers, you will bypass her defenses. Once you’ve got her body in a
single plane, slide that hand in and enjoy! You’ll be amazed at how easy it will go in, even past a
belt and tight waist. Both of you will be glad you did!
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A Few Words on Pussies and Cocks...
For the purposes of “closing,” the pussy is the pivot point. Many a girl has changed her mind
about leaving once I’ve gotten my fingers in her twat. A lot of times, a girl may feel unsure or
uncomfortable with fast physical escalation, and though having fun, she may decide “it’s time to
leave.” Even if “fast seduction” isn’t your thing, listen up! A woman will completely change her
mind if you can touch her pussy, and touch it well. That’s the truth of the matter.
Having slept with well over 200 girls and fooled around with many hundreds more, I can tell you
that a girl has two modes: the rational and cautious mode, where her brain overrides the moment,
and a passionate, horny state where she isn’t thinking, just feeling. You’ll be amazed at how
powerful this dichotomy is. Think of it this way: you meet a girl you’re lukewarm on. Somehow
the two of you end up alone together, and she gets frisky. She’s touching you, making a blatant
move.
Now, you may not be too into it - perhaps you’re on the fence and thinking it’s time to head out.
If this girl gets ballsy - literally - and grabs your package, you might decide to stay and see how
it turns out... And, if she goes further and starts to give you head, let’s be honest...you’d take it.
The same thing applies to women: if you turn them on sufficiently, you can often reverse a losing
situation. That’s no lie.
Another trick that can turn the tide in a stalled-out hook-up: revealing your package. I kid you
not, it works. Under the right circumstances, taking your hard cock out during a make-out
session can convince a girl to go farther than she thought she wanted to go... What usually
happens during a first hook-up is that the girl is into kissing, breast, maybe touching your dick
through your pants. She allows you to rub her crotch through her pants, but won’t let you in
directly. You’re getting really worked up, but she keeps parrying your advances.
You have three options:
i) slow it down, regroup and attack.
ii) abandon the cause and send her on her way.
iii) whip out Mr. Styx.
I’m not the first to advocate this, by the way. Other players have said so much, and I’m often
surprised when a guy tries this and reports back - “Success!” The reasons this works is that it
creates a hyper-sexual moment - one she can accept or exit from. Either way, you’ll move the
interaction forward. And that will get you results; the teases will be sent along, and the fun girls
will be given an opportunity to perform!
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Wrapping Up...
Of course you should wrap it before sex, but that’s not what I’m talking about here... I’m talking
about how to gently ease a girl along after you’ve had sex. Of course, if you are a lucky bastard
and find a true connection out there, then my hat’s off to you, and enjoy your love... For the rest
of us out having fun, putting up numbers, and taking no prisoners, it’s helpful to know how to
get rid of a women after sex.
Just as there’s an art to getting a girl back to your place - “swing by”, having something on the
stove to which you must return, “I know a cute little place...” - there’s an equal art in getting her
dressed and out the door. Often, if a girl is willing to have sex, she wants to lounge around or
sleep over. The more dominant females will actually feel entitled to your space as a trade for the
sex they just delivered. This can be terribly inconvenient.
I’ve found the best solutions are a) not to deal with drunk girls, who may pass out, or be too tired
to get on their way and b) always have a reason to leave the apartment. The former is avoided by
not feeding them booze, the latter by needing to go out “to pick something up at the drugstore.”
Here in NYC, things are open late and I can easily make an excuse for an evening outing. Maybe
I need some milk at the store for tomorrow’s breakfast cereal... Or, I’m not feeling great and I
want to pop down and get some Advil. The key is a plausible reason to get the girl outside,
where you can walk her to her car, or help her hail a cab. Most women will understand your
motivations. Those that don’t may have to be told. And it’s a lot easier once they’re outside, on
the street.
Good Luck!
I’ve equipped you with some good technicals to help you get the job done effectively, but what
about the ultimate close - the girlfriend close? How do you develop the conditions suitable for a
longer-term relationship? How do you move beyond notches on your bedpost to something more
stable and meaningful? Well, there are many ways to skin a cat, and I’m not going to pretend to
know the best way to parlay attraction into a relationship. To be honest, that usually happens
organically, with little or no planning. The more likely outcome is a need to avoid a relationship
before you’re ready... Women naturally gravitate towards relationships when they like a guy; few
women like to have a series of one-nighters while remaining single. So, if you perfect your game
and learn how to sleep with plenty of women, the problem will take care of itself. You’ll
probably have more girlfriend offers than you want or need.
To The Good Life,
Paul Janka
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