© 2013 Debbie Bushell

Transcription

• Young people (11 – 18) ranked their
mums and dads as number 1 and 2 in the list of
their three most admired people.
• 73% of young people nominated a parent as a
hero.
• 87% said family is most important thing to me
In 2010 the Kaiser Family
Foundation reported
Today, 8-18 year-olds devote an
average of 7 hours and 38
minutes (7:38) to using
entertainment media across a
typical day (more than 53
hours a week).
Foundation reported
And because they spend so much
of that time “media
multitasking” (using more than
one medium at a time) they
actually manage to pack a total
of 10 hours and 45 minutes
worth of media content into
those 7½ hours.
The increase in media use is
In 2010 the Kaiser
driven by ready access to mobile
Family Foundation
devices like phones and iPods.
reportedYoung people now spend more
time listening to music, playing
games, and watching TV on their
mobile phones than they spend
talking on them.
80% of Aussie teens own a
smartphone (Youth monitor 2013)
Today many children
spend nearly as much
time in front of some
sort of screen,
whether it's a
computer, video
game, or TV, as they
spend playing
outside.
Foundation reported
Only one-fourth of
parents are setting
rules about their
kids' media use.
When asked parents why they don’t get more involved
in their kids' digital lives they stated that they
don't understand facebook, computing and texting that
their kids are doing, or that they are
afraid that limit-setting will lead to constant fighting.
But when parents did set some media rules,
kids consumed an average of nearly three
hours less media than those without rules.
SO WHAT
DO THE
EXPERTS
SAY ABOUT
THE
AMOUNT
OF SCREEN
TIME FOR
CHILDREN?
Before we CONTINUE……
Source:
Idle TV/screens
for more than 2
hours a day is
associated with..
• an increased risk of becoming
overweight poorer fitness
• increased risk emotional,
social, and attention
problems
• less time spent interacting
with family and friends.
• sleeping problems
• risk achievement at school
• more likely to watch more TV
• one study of 80 children,
found that a TV in the
bedroom increased viewing
time by nearly nine hours a
week
(Academy of Pediatrics)
(Academy of Pediatrics)
‘
Dependence
Due to the prevalence of digital media,
many young people experience the
borderline of becoming addicted to the
internet, which may cause problems in
their personal and social lives.
American Academy of Paediatrics
• No more than 1 to 2 hours per day of total screen time
for children older than 2 (and zero screen time for
children under 2).
Raising Children Network, Australia
• Children under two should steer clear of the screen
altogether.
• Children aged 2-5 years should have no more than 1
hour per day of screen time.
• Children over five should have no more than two hours
a day.
Australian Health Departments
• Children younger than two years of age nil screen time.
• For children 2-5 years of age, should be limited to less
than one hour per day.
• Children who participate more in after-school studies or
activities spend less time on the internet as predicted.
• Children who engage in more out door activities with
their parents use the internet less.
• This is intuitive since time spent outside means less
time spent in front of a screen at home.
• Internet dependency can be reduced by limiting the
time spent online.
• Higher levels of active mediation along with restrictive
intervention resulted in lower levels of internet
dependence.
2010 Kaiser Family Foundation
YOU CAN
SURVIVE
SAYING NO
The Marshmallow Test
So, what's the moral of the story,
according to Walsh?
In life, good things come to those
who can wait.
It's all about saying, "No" to
children and teaching them to say
"No" to themselves. Of course, it's
just as important to catch your
children doing the right things.
KEY SUCCESS TRAIT
Creating consistent,
healthy media habits
starting when kids are
just beginning to be
exposed to screens is a
vital key to managing
screen time during
adolescence.
Being proactive and setting rules!
When your children are children.
Parent as Manager
Kids up to 13+ Some ideas……………….
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
kids bedrooms are tv-free zones
no phone or ipad use before school – unless for homework
all homework completed before using electronic media
electronic media must not be used before the sun goes down
screen time is between 6:30 - 8:30pm only: and after homework
no electronic media during meals (including phones and TVs)
no facebook, texting or game use during homework time
an hour of activity each day before using electronic media
play station/x-box and gaming only allowed on weekends
weekend limits of two hours a day depending on age
BEFORE THE HOW………….
“There will never be enough rewards or
consequences to get kids to want to
behave and learn if we are not first
developing relationships.”
Charles Fay
Awareness
of SELF
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
Criticising
Blaming
Complaining
Nagging
Threatening
Punishing
Bribing to control
What is know to be the best parenting style?
Model Authoritative Parenting
• Sets clear boundaries attached to values
• Monitors what their children/teens are doing
• Allow children/teens some power within those
boundaries through negotiation and choice
• Is loving, warm and firm
Authoritative parenting has been shown to
have the best outcomes for young people
Understanding Why Authoritative
Parenting Works
Because authoritative parents act as
role models and exhibit the same
behaviors they expect from their
children, kids are more likely to
internalise these behaviors.
Consistent rules and discipline allow
children to know what to expect.
Psychology Australia
Model the Seven
Caring Habits







Encouraging
Supporting
Listening
Accepting
Trusting
Respecting
Negotiating differences
Basket A
Those issues that are
not open to
compromise, such as
safety issues,
regardless of the
child's response. The
child, for example,
must wear a seat belt
and cannot take a
knife to school.
Basket B
negotiable.
The older your child
gets, the more
choice they need.
Therefore,
negotiating limits
often works best.
Basket C
not worth fighting
over. Ignoring minor
issues that reduce
conflict and allow
more stress-free time
to help everyone
learn to become
more flexible.
The Accountability
* If you can’t get agreement from your teen, use Currency
Triangle
•
•
•
Yes
Make the
agreement
Agree/concede
Give reasons why based on values etc.
Ask “What is getting in the way?”
3) Negotiate
No/maybe
Followed
Praise
4) Make an
Agreement
2) Request
Not followed
Accountability
Triangle
If necessary, request
higher than your
bottom line.
Room to move
during negotiation.
1) Establish your bottom line
5) Natural
Consequence
Example
• 1.5 hours homework per night
• Mobile ©
phone
off after
9pm
2013 Debbie
Bushell
• Facebook between 4pm – 5pm and one hour after homework done.
IF KIDS BREAK THE AGREED RULES
REMEMBER IT’S THEIR CHOICE
THEREFORE………
The law of
NATURAL
CONSEQUENCE
Immediate Consequences
“Because you are choosing to break
our agreement, you will not be able to
use your ipad on the weekend.”
“If you continue to speak rudely to me,
there will be a consequence.”
“Your washing wasn’t in the basket.
You have decided to do your own
laundry this weekend.”
“The way you two fight isn’t nice for
me to be around. You can come out of
your rooms when you are pleasant to
be around.”
Delayed Consequence
When too angry or frustrated DELAY THE CONSEQUENCE!
• Child has to do more thinking about it than we do. Child
owns the problem.
• We have time to think about an appropriate consequence
that is reasonable and natural.
• There is less chance of blowing up and making a threat
that you can’t back up.
“I’m not sure what I’m going to
do. I’ll let you know after
dinner.”
“I need to speak to your mum
and we will speak to you after
school tomorrow.”
The difference between kids who respect their parents'
boundaries and those who do not is often in the perceived
consequences. Ask yourself:
• Am I serious about the stance I've taken? Or am I not?
• Have I clearly communicated a consequence and am I
willing to follow through? Or am I not?
• What are my reasons? Is there a good reason for my bottom
line ie based on values, or safety, or well being?
The clearer you are on the how and why of your boundaries,
the more likely kids are to comply.
The more confident children know that parents will follow
through the more likely they will stick to the agreements.
Boundaries
• Parents CAN survive being
unpopular
• Leadership takes courage
• Children need limits against
which to test themselves
• Children need to know what
a parent thinks about issues
• Limits need to evolve to
reflect each stage and age
“If I don’t
know what my
parents think,
how can I do
the opposite?
And above all,
Smile more
Many studies
demonstrate that
people who smile more
are better liked AND
HAPPIER.

Put a pencil in your teeth and keep your lips from touching it,
then watch a “comedy” (that isn’t really funny). It will seem
much funnier to you.
always remember…………
They love you
They need you
They value you
You are their hero
Tickets are available by contacting
Mrs Faye Cape-well on 9523 3145.
• www.cybersmart.gov.au
• www.netalert.gov.au
• www.cybersafetysolutions.com.au

© 2013 Debbie Bushell

Transcription

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