Why Your Parents Say No, p. 6

★
★
Why Your Parents Say No, p. 6
How To Break a Grudge, p. 13
★ Are You a Cheerleader or
a Prophet of Gloom?, p.24
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L IS T E N /J A N U A R Y • 1996
“Well, here I am, said Jess. “This is one of the thin times.
”
ess pulled my hair back. She said she knew
how to French-braid. I had my doubts.
”
J
“So when did this happen?” sne asked.
“What?”
“I mean, when did you first realize it? Was it
bit by bit, or did it just sort of hit you?”
“Realize what?”
She stopped braiding. “That you were losing your
mind,” she said matter-of-factly.
“Just say you’ll cover for me. I’ll tell my dad I’ll be
spending the night at your house. Matt’s parents
are out of town for the weekend.”
“I can’t believe you’re actually thinking of spend­
ing the night with him. Does the word ‘pregnancy’
mean anything to you? How about ‘AIDS’?”
IL L U S T R A T IO N : KIM J U S T IN E N
The Promise
“W hat are you my conscience?”
I glared at her reflection in
the mirror on top o f my dresser.
She tugged at my hair and
glared back. “N o, just your
friend.”
“Well, lighten up, will ya?
Besides, we’re not going to do
anything. I’m just going to
spend the night.”
Jess stopped braiding again
and pounded on my head like
she was choosing a melon.
“Hellooo . . . anybody in there?
W hy do you think he’s inviting
you over, to play Parcheesi?”
BY
“M aybe.” M y argument was
losing steam. To be honest, Jess
was just bringing up things that
I’d been thinking about all week.
But it was weird to hear my own
conscience talking out loud to
me like that, using her voice like
a ventriloquist. “Just do me this
one favor. Just this once, and it
will be all over.”
“Yep, it’ll be all over. You
got that right.”
“W hat do you want from me?”
“I want you to call it off.”
“I don’t know.”
“You can spend the night at
SILVIA
L IS T E N /J A N U A R Y • 1996
my house. We’ll rent a movie—
spend all night talking about
boys, if you like.” She went over
to my desk and started looking
through my stuff.
“W hat are you doing?” I asked.
“Where’s your address book?”
“Why?”
“Ah, found it.” She flipped
through some pages. “Here it is —
M att Medina. This his number?
I’ll call him for you. You won’t
have to do a thing.”
I just sat there.
“I’m dialing.”
She dialed. After a pause she
F U E N T E
held out the phone. “ It’s ringing.”
I ran over, jerked the phone
out o f her hands, and slammed it
down. “Aren’t you going to finish
braiding my hair?” I sat down
again. She stood behind me and
continued the braid. We were
quiet for a long time. Jess avoided
meeting my eyes in the mirror.
“There, you’re braided.” She
picked up a hand mirror o ff the
dresser and showed me the back
o f my head. “A tornado couldn’t
undo that.”
“You mad?” I asked.
N o answer. She wandered over
to my wall and plucked a photo­
graph o ff my bulletin board.
but it came to me that day during
rest period, so I wrote it down.
I called it “Through Thick and
T h in .” It was about friendship.
I think Jess was the only one who
knew what it meant. When I
finished reading it and sat back
down beside her on the log, her
eyes were wet.
N ow Jess spoke in a quiet,
thoughtful voice. “D o you re­
member the promise we made
to each other that summer?”
“We were only 11,” I said.
“W hat did we know? I’m 16
now. Things are different.”
“ But do you remember?”
Jess leaned up against the
desk and looked at me.
“About growing up
slow?” I asked.
“We said we’d
take our time
growing up. And
we’d always be
there for each
other. Through
thick and thin.”
She paused for a
second, then held
out her hands and
said, “Well, here
I am. This is one
o f the thin times.”
“Maybe this is one
of the thick times.”
“No, the only
thick thing around
here is your noggin.”
I was beginning to think she
was right. The door slammed
downstairs, and my dad called my
name. “U p here, D ad.”
A moment later he appeared
in the doorway. He walked over
and kissed me on the forehead,
then tapped Jess on the knee.
“Afternoon, ladies.” He looked
at us both. “Uh-oh, heavy con­
versation. M ust be about boys.
O K , I’m leaving.” He looked at
me closely. “Everything all right?”
“Yeah, D ad.”
“O K , dinner in 15. Staying
for dinner, Jess? M y grilled-cheese
sandwiches are legendary. I pour
a mean glass o f milk, too.”
/ COULDN'T BBTRAY
HIM - AND / COULDN'T
BETRAY M/SELF.
W s\
r
j
She looked at it and smiled.
“Remember this?” She showed
it to me. It was a picture o f two
skinny girls in braces, sitting
in a canoe.
“Yeah, camp watchamacallit.”
The real name was Cam p
Washmacawt, because it was
on Washmacawt Island, but we
called it camp watchamacallit.
We roomed in the same cabin and
had been best friends ever since.
At the closing campfire we had
had a chance to stand up in front
o f everyone and say something—
what we got out o f camp, or to
thank certain people, whatever
we felt like saying. I read a poem.
I’d never written a poem before,
Jess smiled. “T hat’s what I hear.
Thanks, but I have to be going.”
D ad moved to the door and
turned. “Hey, that’s some hairdo.
Bet a hurricane couldn’t shake
that one loose.” He went back
downstairs.
We were quiet for a while, then
Jess said, “Your dad is so cool.
I can’t believe he still kisses you
like that.”
“What? Like I’m 6 years old?”
“N o, I mean it’s nice. My
dad doesn’t even know I’m alive.
You’re lucky.”
“Yeah, I guess I am .”
Jess stood up and slung her
book bag over her shoulder.
“G otta go. You do what you
have to do. But leave me out
o f it. I’m not covering for you.”
As she left she flicked the pho­
tograph to me. It landed face up
on the floor in front o f me.
I sat there thinking o f all we’d
talked about. Things were start­
ing to make sense. This was not
a decision to be taken lightly. I
thought o f the promise we made
to each other. I thought o f Matt.
But maybe what I thought most
o f was my own father. I could
still feel the moist spot where
he’d kissed me. I touched it with
my hand. Jess was right. I was
lucky to have a dad like him.
I couldn’t betray him -and 1
couldn’t betray myself. I knew
the right thing to do. W hat was
true when I was 11 was still true.
T hat promise I had made back
then was really a promise to
myself. But it was nice to have
a friend like Jess to remind me.
I tore downstairs and out the
front door. Jess was halfway
down the block when I caught
up with her.
“Why don’t you spend the
night?” I asked. “We’ll make
some popcorn, and you can
show me how to do the braid.”
“Now you’re talking.”
“Through thick and thin,”
I said.
Jess smiled. “Through thick
and thin.”
We headed back to my house,
arm in arm. I had a phone call
to make. TA
L IS T E N (IS S N 0 0 2 4 -4 3 5 X ) J a n u a ry 1996, V o lu m e 4 9 , N u m b e r 1. P u b lis h e d m o n th ly b y T h e H e a lth C o n n e c tio n , 5 5 W e s t O a k R id g e Dr.. H a g e rs to w n , M D 2 1 7 4 0 . O n e y e a r $ 2 4 .9 7 (U S ); O u ts id e U S $ 2 7 .9 5 (U S ).
S e c o n d C la s s p o s ta g e p a id a t H a g e rs to w n , M D . P O S T M A S T E R s e n d a d d re s s c h a n g e s to L IS T E N , P.O. B o x 85 9 , H a g e rs to w n , M D 2 1 7 4 1 . 1 -8 0 0 -5 4 8 -8 7 0 0 , A la s k a o r C a n a d a , 1 -3 0 1 -7 9 0 -9 7 3 5 . T h is p u b lic a tio n
is a v a ila b le in M ic ro fillm fro m X e ro x U n iv e rs ity M ic ro film s , 3 0 0 N o rth Z e e b R o a d , A n n A rb o r, M l 4 8 1 0 6 (3 1 3 )7 6 1 -4 7 0 0 . P rin te d in U .S .A .
Friendly Advice
When pressure and problems crop up for the average
teenager, 91 percent say they turn to a close friend.
For 30 percent the person they turn to could be a
school or religious counselor.
USA Today
Fatal Legacy
On average, 26 percent of mothers infected with the
HIV virus will pass it on to their babies.
Jo u rn a l o f the A m e ric a n M e d ic a l A ssociation
Auto Deaths
Almost half of traffic crash deaths
and crash injuries continue to be
alcohol-related. Drinking and
driving is the leading cause of
death among teenagers.
ICPA
AIDS Inflation
The number of people infected with
the AIDS virus will more than triple
to 40 million by the end of the
century, according to a recent UN
population and migration report.
The report also estimates that as many
as 1 million people will die annually
of AIDS by the century’s end.
USA Today
P H O T O : ED G U T H E R O
Alcohol and Fam ily
Four in 10 Americans have been
affected by drinking in the family.
One in every three families is affected
by alcohol. An estimated 76 million
are affected by alcohol abuse, having
been married to an alcoholic or
problem drinker or having grown
up with one.
ICPA
L IS T E N /J A N U A R Y • 1996
C hew ing Popularity
H e a rt Jitters
Tobacco companies sold 124.7
million pounds of smokeless tobacco
in 1991, up from 121.9 million the
previous year. Moist snuff is the
most popular and, scientists believe,
the most carcinogenic. The highest
use is among men ages 18-24.
Associated Press O n lin e
Studies suggest a link between heavy
coffee drinking and heart trouble.
Those drinking more than five cups
per day are subject to an increased risk
of heart attack and death compared to
those drinking little to no coffee daily.
E p idem iology
Lost Inhibitions
Statistics show 1 in 10 people between
the ages of 15 and 24 will attempt sui­
cide. Less than 20 percent come to the
attention of medical or mental health
professionals because of the failure of
others around them to notice warning
signs and take appropriate action.
Suicide Research D igest
“If we don’t recognize the influence
of alcohol, then we are wasting a lot
of time and a lot of money in trying
to prevent teenage pregnancy. When
teenagers drink, they do things they
wouldn’t when they are sober; one
of the things is to conceive a child
irresponsibly.”
C. Everett Koop, M.D.
Former Surgeon General
G et Your Veggies
With the recent focus on vegetables
and their role in cancer prevention
and other good benefits, more than
56 percent of American shoppers
report buying more vegetables.
USA Today
Teen Suicide
Optim istic Results
Members of Fundamentalist religious
groups were found to be far more
optimistic than followers of moderate
or liberal religions, a recent study sug­
gests. Optimistic people are less vul­
nerable to depression, and optimism
correlates with high achievement.
USA Today
verywhere you
go there’s drink
ing,” my mom is
constantly saying.
“Don’t drink.”
And I’m saying,
“Sure, Mom.”
Sticklers?
Arbitrary? Spoilsports?
Well, whatever... To
demand, ask, or even
beg you to pass up
the fun everybody else
is having by saying no
even to beer? Hey!
E
w
\
y
som e weird crim eit happens again and
again, like every day.
Read the papers.
Would it be worth it?
Alcohol is behind a big
majority of jail sen ten cesand many of the criminals
are the young. Ask one
of those kids what they’d
give to be out again,
!
to have a clean record,
a new chance! If only
they’d done it differently.
Maybe all this partly
explains just why your mom
and dad, who love you, say
no to drink-even one
(which can start a bunch).
They have no reason
to want to spoil your fu n thev just want you to live
to have it. They want you to
have a chance to live life, to find out what you can
do. They want you to stay alive and smart and free,
with a chance at happiness. Believe it!
All the books on earth, no doubt, couldn’t hold
the terrible tales o f what liquor’s done to men and
women down through the centuries. D on’t believe
all the fake prom ises o f a good time, lots o f laughs.
The real cost of drinking is im possible to
com preh end-enough to know it robs millions
o f life and its real joys. Most smart people, like
your parents, have seen many good p eop leadults and clean, healthy, beautiful kids-w ith
all kinds of good chances ahead degraded,
dragged down, lost to real life.
That’s why they say no to your drinking.
WHY YOUR
PARENTS
SAY NO
“Sure, sure, sure," you agree,
not even listening. Right?
But just suppose it’s tom or­
row, and suppose those few
beers or spiked drinks that got everybody going
real good meant a funeral? Maybe your own funeral?
Or the death of your best friend, sister, or brother?
Sort of like with tens of thousands of kids your
age who had “fun” with drinks. They never lived
to graduate from high school or college. Never
got a chance to be tops at that promising career
or to have a fam ily-because of that dumb
car sm ashup.
Or how about all those kids who had drunken
sex, and it m essed up their lives a lot of different
ways and for good? Forever, that is. Would it be
worth it? Ask som e of the kids it happened to.
Or go ahead and ask the other tens
of thousands spending lives behind bars for
“ ALL THE BOOKS ON EARTH, NO DOUBT, COULDN'T HOLD
THE TERRIBLE TALES OF WHAT LIQUOR'S DONE TO MEN
AND WOMEN DOWN THROUGH THE CENTURIES.»
V A L E N T R Y
DUANE
b v
L IS TE N /JA N U A R Y • 1 9 9 6
believe. About the only
thing that really works is
to catch him at a “good
mood moment” and
calmly ask him not to
act this way anymore.
Explain to him that when
he does this it really does
make others around him
feel uncomfortable. Tell
him that you’ll go to bat
for him in situations if
he’ll show you some
respect and courtesy in
front of your friends.
Good luck! I hope you
have success in getting
him to quit this obnox­
ious behavior.
Listen up, teens. Say Hi to Jennifer Acklam,
America’s Homecoming Queen. Jenny is a
busy gal, traveling all over the U.S.A. as a teen
ambassador. But Jenny wants to hear from
you. Send your letters to us at LISTEN maga­
zine, P.O. Box 859, Hagerstown, MD 21741,
and w e’ll pass them on to her for the column.
M y bro th er is 13
(tw o years y o u n g er
than I a m ). He
a lw a y s thinks he's
being fu n n y w h e n he
m akes fun o f m e in
front of m y friends.
H e calls m e n am es—
a n d m akes m e look
so stupid w h e n e v e r
other people are
a ro u n d . I'm sick o f it.
W h a t can I do to get
him to stop this?
Oh, do I ever know about
younger brothers who
love to tease! They never
seem to pass up the urge
to poke fun at older sis­
ters. Believe me, I’ve been
through many years of
this and more situations
than you could ever
L IS T E N /J A N U A R Y • 1996
A g ro u p o f m y
friends h av e been
sneaking out o f their
houses on w eeken d s
a n d m eeting som e­
w h e re to d rin k beer.
Their parents think
they a re asleep fo r
the night— but really,
th ey a re sneaking
out a n d then sn eak­
ing back in before
their parents w a k e
up. They w a n t m e to
com e w ith them .
They say w e 'll never
g et caught. I d o n 't
k n o w if I should try
it once o r not. W h a t
d o you think?
I think definitely not!
Just because you can get
by with something and
not get caught does not
make it right. Sneaking
out could lead to very
unsafe consequences,
such as accidents, police
arrests, and bad decisions,
especially if alcohol is
involved. Don’t risk your
future dreams on one
moment of madness.
I sit n e a r a bunch
o f guys in a r t class,
a n d th ey a re a lw a y s
goo fing o ff. The
o th er d a y I s a w
them p layin g a card
g a m e a n d betting
m oney. I actu ally
s a w them h an d in g
each other $ 5 bills.
I w a n t to tell the
teacher, but I d o n 't
w a n t those guys to
find out th a t I told
on them . Help!
First of all, you are posi­
tively right in reporting
this to the teacher or
principal. Gambling in
any form is usually illegal
at school. When gambling
occurs, fighting and steal­
ing often follow, as the
situation gets out of hand.
Therefore, schools feel
it is important that all
gambling activity be
stopped. Try talking to
the teacher about what
you have seen in class.
Tell the teacher your
desire to remain anony­
mous. I’m sure your wish
will be respected. If in a
couple days this situation
does not improve, then
consider telling the school
principal, school coun­
selors, or even the police.
Gambling in any form
is serious and should
be stopped immediately.
I think you should be
applauded for your
concern and efforts. ZA
7
BY
GARY
B.
SWANSON
P H O T O S : DAVID
ost of us would get at least a little nervous applying
for a summer job at M cDonald’s, taking that first
driver’s test, explaining to our parents that D on
our geometry exam, maybe giving a speech in English class.
These are the kinds o f things that give most of us sweaty
palms. But for 18-year-old Dominique Dawes, getting a case
o f the butterflies doesn’t come from everyday fears. When she
gets nervous, she’s usually in a sports (continued on p. 28)
BLAC K
This young lady is Olympic-ready and
up to the gold standard. They call her.
LIS TE N /JA N U A R Y • 1 9 9 6
ould I
have made
I ■ a difference?
U Maybe if
I’d stayed with
them -talked or
argued stronger!
“Jing! Bing! Ker-cbuk, ker-chuk,
ker-chuk!”
“Mike, they’re yours—three
games. Order me a fried egg sand­
wich and a chocolate fizz. Your
machine.” VirGene Boe sauntered
tiredly toward the second booth.
“ Forget it, V ’Gene. I’m in
the next cribbage round. Mike
Nordeen, Norge Hous Tourney
champ. This is the week! Jess,
you take them. Order your big
cousin his dinner. Big Norske’s
hungry. What are you thinking
about, Jess?”
Jess looked up at Mike from
his paperback. “Coach Clarke told
me last night at the sales barn
that he’d open up the equipment
shed today. We got weights, stop­
watches, footballs, dummies, sled,
hurdles. Why don’t we?”
“V ’Gene wants to head up
to Belmond to the races. World
Outlaws this weekend. He’s got
a coolerful.”
“Mike, why do you want to
sit on hard bleachers, watch stock
cars and sprints on a dusty dirt
track instead o f lifting and work­
ing out for our senior year?”
“ It’s July, Jess. It’s vacation!
N o school. It’s drags— street
stock— Kinser running in the fea­
ture. Why work out now? Two-aday next month. Plenty o f time.”
“Mike, remember when we
spent days at Old Park on the
dam, before the new track? You
and VirGene always wanting to
go up the willow path to the cave
and the raft we were making
o f railroad ties, clothesline, and
tubes? Downriver to the still pool
L IS TE N /JA N U A R Y • 1 9 9 6
at Stork’s hole and an uprooted
tree at the bend in the river?
Smoking wood, cannonballs, ball
rackers. Lying on the sandbar,
hot air thick with cicadas, waiting
for a summer breeze. And your
cousin Sandra, and Kay, and
Marjorie? Diagrams in the warm
mud and sandy clay? Leaping like
bullfrogs off trunks hot in the sun?”
“Yeah, Jess. And hiking to first
dam with your .22. V ’Gene with
his .410 looking for redtail hawks.
Me and my spin rod. You and
Olson boiling corn, Sunk River
catfish, bullheads, sunfish fillets,
and that humongous carp you
tried to fry.”
“ Hey, Mike, check out VirGene.
He’s goin’ down! Too much Sat­
urday night at the Sales Barn!
I can’t believe Rhoda served him.
I f she gets caught, she’s busted.
V ’Gene’s drinking again? He
thinks you’re paranoid about
drinking because o f your dad’s
drinking. Says you’re afraid if
you have a couple you’ll be drunk.
V ’Gene says he can drive good
as your dad after a few beers.
His car knows the way home.”
“Mike, I told VirGene about
OPP counselors at the VA Hos­
pital in Des Moines laughing at
me when I said I was too smart
to be alcoholic. After seeing what
it did to Dad and Mom, I told
VirGene it really made me mad.
He just said, ‘So, if it’s a disease,
you can’t do anything about it.
Isn’t that what they say? Then
who cares? You got it or you
don’t. Don’t fight it.’ That’s all
VirGene would say.”
“His relatives and yours on the
Boe side, they sure have enough
//
I CAN'T BELIEVE
RHONDA SERVED H IM ...
I KNEW HE HAD TOO MANY
BEERS TO DRIVE H O M E ...
You know, three strikes and you’re
out. After what Coach Clarke
said, I can’t believe he’d risk it.”
“Says Coach’d never kick him
o ff the team. Needs a big two-way
tackle too much.”
“I don’t know. After VirGene
won Shuffle Bowl I knew he’d
had too many beers to drive
home. I thought Coach Clarke
might see him. He always checks.”
“Coach left after the horse
sales. After V ’Gene started playing
Haggard over and over, Coach
was gone.”
“Good thing. Mike, did you see
VirGene hitting on Rhoda on grill
line-bum m ing cigarettes, messing
her orders, taking the T-bone?
I couldn’t hear for the grill, custo­
mers, truckers, auctioneer, ranch­
ers, farmers. Rhoda and VirGene
had some plans. Ask your sister.
Rita was working the line later.”
“Rita’s going to Belmond, Jess.
I told V ’Gene I’d probably go.
What about you? You still bugged
o f it in the family,” Mike finally
replied.
Jess glanced over at VirGene,
asleep in the booth. “They don’t
talk about it. I just don’t want
to drink. Coach’s talked enough
about it for me. And Pastor
Skibsrud at Luther League. I don’t
know. I just decided not to.”
“Well, VirGene thinks that’s
why you won’t go to races.
Staying in town then? Going to
work out with Olson? Why don’t
you get
our brothers too? Get the fresh­
men pumped. I saw them getting
oles, night crawlers, and doughall at home. Yeah, big brother,
Reynold and Steve’ll work out and
lift and run with you. Good old
Freddies stay home. Skibsrud
showed them drunk-driving films
for confirmation. You can talk
them into going. But not V ’Gene.”
“Mixin beer and driving, Mike,
all the way to Belmond and back,
to watch races on a hot dusty
track. I’d rather lift, work out,
E
" . .. I WALK BACK TO M Y BOOTH..
AND UNFOLD THE PHOTOCOPIED
ARTICLE AND READ IT A G A IN ...
run patterns, get in shape for
senior year. We won’t have
another chance.”
That conversation was three
months ago. Now it’s October.
I’m sitting in the Bertha Bartlett
Memorial Library reading the arti­
cle in the Story City Herald again
and again. Staring at the pictures.
Across this shiny table I see
stacks where I know my name,
Mike’s, our brothers, VirGene’s,
and his sister, Nadine’s, are listed
on checkout cards inside the front
covers o f many o f the same books:
The Black Stallion, The Yearling,
Wahoo Bobcat, Goal to Go .. .
O n the wall beside me is a
framed picture o f the Story City
Volunteer Firemen, and the apple
trees on the vacant lot across from
Munson’s Garage, where VirGene
and Nadine and Mike and our
brothers and Olson and Paul
Thom as David Hirdman, and
Eddie Frette, and the Munsingers,
and all o f us wound up after
playing bicycle ditch.
Where Nordeen’s visiting cousin,
Parker, fell out o f one o f the apple
trees and broke both bones in his
arm. The lot where our old house
was burned after we had a green
apple fight, before the volunteer
fire department training team
burned the house to the ground.
Dark smoke and flames flicking
out windows and holes in the
roof, clinging on edges. Red trucks,
12
brown hoses, black skins. Yellow
crashing fire. Singed, sick smelly
air. H ot pipes and people gawking.
Afterward a lingering taste and
smell o f cheap smoked cheese.
Burned grass, scorched apple
trees— we thought they’d never
produce again. That fire in our
old house and on our playground
lot killed things.
The car accident killed more:
hopes and dreams and reality that
will never happen, never develop
from the dreams to the reality it
would have been.
Later in the afternoon at Jerry
Erickson’s Valhalla Viking Inn
Restaurant, I walk to the back
wall and look again at the picture
o f last year’s team. Bob Moore’s
grinning face. How often he’d
snap me the ball, and I’d pivot,
and lay it into Mike’s hands as he
dove over VirGene’s right tackle
position, and I’d fake the bootleg.
Or we’d fake the dive and second
man through, step back into the
pocket or jump-pass to Jon Olson
stepping long and high down field
for his one-hand special grab. We
only won half our games with so
many underclassmen, but the
town’s expectations were so high
for this year.
And there’s Mike’s picture.
Blond hair, bright brows, reflect­
ing the sun, cool smile folds under
quick-witted eyes— like James
Baldwin in our American lit book,
I was always going to tell him.
And VirGene’s high cheekbones
and big Norseman size. My cousin
so much bigger than I, always
reminding me o f the Boe side
o f the family. Strong quiet north­
ern Norway type. N ot like me.
But his blood was part o f my
blood. And now’s gone.
I walk back to my booth at the
Valhalla Viking Inn and unfold
the photocopied article from my
book bag and read it again:
“Two local boys die in an
automobile crash about 8:00 p.m.
Sunday on Highway 69 between
Blairsburg and Belmond.
The youths in both cars were
northbound on their way to a
racing event. Highway patrolmen
investigating the crash say the
two cars apparently locked
bumpers at a high rate o f speed.
Parts o f the car and beer cans were
scattered far, and bodies were
found some distance away in a
bean field. The funerals are to be
Wednesday and Thursday at
Immanuel Lutheran. LarsonSoderstrom Funeral Home will
handle arrangements.”
I decide to walk to the
cemetery before it gets too dark
to find the white stones, copperoutlined American Legion mark­
ers, the dates and names.
Could I have made a differ­
ence? If I’d been there? If I’d
stayed with them? If I had
talked or argued stronger?
I don’t know.
What is alcoholism?
Was VirGene an alcoholic, or
on his way there? Is alcoholism
in our family? Can you do any­
thing? Would that even matter?
I’m not even sure what Pastor
Skibsrud said at the funeral.
I just don’t know if I could have
made any difference. Maybe—
if we’d all stayed together.
I do know about the white
stones, the small red crosses,
American Legion markers with
thin metallic borders. And the
long grass starting to grow over
them. Those are all real. They
are there, and you can see them,
the dates and names: VirGene
Boe and Michael Nordeen.
L IS T E N /J A N U A R Y • 1996
Bill VOSSlfR
or seven years —2,500
days, or more than
60,000 hours-W alt and
August wouldn’t speak
to each other. They would sit
opposite sides o f the church they
attended. When they would spot
each other on a street in our small
town, one would cross to the
other side or stalk back the other
way. They would speak ill o f each
other behind the other’s back.
What could have caused such
a massive rift between friends?
Theft o f valuable property?
A love gone bad? One cheating
the other?
None o f the above.
Rather, a rumor. Walt had heard
that August had said something
nasty about him. August was
incensed that Walt had believed
it. So for seven years they held
a grudge against each other and
missed out on the support that
their friendship could have
offered them, had offered them
before. Seven years!
How can you make sure
that grudges don’t develop and
take over your life? Or once
they’ve developed, how can
you conquer them?
The American Heritage
Dictionary defines a grudge as a
deep-seated feeling o f resentment
or rancor. “Resentment,” say
John-Roger and Peter
McWilliams, in You Cant Afford
the Luxury o f a Negative Thought,
“is anger directed at others. It
accumulates over time.” Other
synonyms for “grudge” include
grievance, ill will, bitterness,
and hard feelings.
That’s the definition.
But everyone who has ever held
a grudge knows what a grudge
is by how it feels: an unpleasant
battery-acid gnawing in the pit
o f your stomach whenever you
think about the situation, see the
person, or think you might bump
into the person. As the
McWilliamses put it: “We avoid
people, situations, [and] activities”
in service o f the grudge.
Grudges aren’t new. In the
ILLUSTRATION: ED GUTHERO
f
L IS TE N /JA N U A R Y • 1 9 9 6
on
• f illi
t M
IW
W
E
/ t
HOW TO H A N D L T G R U D G f S
eighth century B.C. the Greek
poet Hesiod wrote, “Potter bears
a grudge against potter, and
craftsman against craftsman...”
Just about everybody bears
grudges, big or small, at one
time or another. Few people
plan to hold grudges; instead,
for most people grudges just
seem to happen.
To help prevent grudges you
need to know why they develop.
There are many reasons. Here are
a few major ones:
□ Dissatisfaction with self
Often grudges develop out of
self-dissatisfaction. People feel
inadequate, defensive, awkward,
or whatever. They don’t feel good
about themselves.
□ Comparing self to others.
Too often people with negative
self-feelings compare themselves
to others. The result is predictable—
jealousy, anger, hatred, grudges.
The Desiderata, an essay on living
better, says if you compare
yourself with others, “you may
become bitter or vain, for always
there will be greater and lesser
persons than yourself.”
□ Lack o f communication.
Someone heard that Joan said
Shana was a little weasel.
13
“Did you hear what Tomas said
about you?” And people believe
these rumors.
□ People change. Sometimes
grudges develop because a friend
chooses other friends, or two
friends no longer see eye-to-eye.
□ Neglect. Sometimes friends
or family members feel neglected.
Dr. Miriam Kohn, a psychologist
at the Chevy Chase Center for
Psychotherapy in Washington,
D .C ., asks, “Are they feeling
neglected? Are they feeling that
they need a pat on the back,
or a ‘it’s nice to see you’?”
These are just a few o f the
reasons grudges develop. But
equally important is knowing
how to prevent grudges from
ever starting.
□ Concentrate onyour strengths.
Work on your self-esteem. Make
a list o f what you’re good at: cross­
country skiing, talking to little kids,
defusing your mom’s anger. If you
repeatedly tell yourself how good
you are at these things, then you
won’t feel so insecure or prone to
compare yourself with others. You
will just feel better about yourself.
(This doesn’t mean you shouldn’t
try to improve on your weakness­
es; just don’t dwell on them.)
□ Compare yourself to yourself.
You can’t change other people only yourself. So measure progress
by comparing yourself to what you
want to accomplish or be in life.
If you want to be a straight-A stu­
dent, view yourself only against
the backdrop o f your grades, not
others’ grades. Make your goals
reasonable and attainable.
□ Look for the good in other
people. And when you find it, tell
them. Say that Mary Ellen is the
best free-throw shooter you’ve ever
seen; tell John that you’ve never
seen a quicker mind. Just make
sure they’re honest compliments.
You’ll be surprised how much
good you’ll find.
□ Be kind. Nothing stifles grudges
like kindness.
□ Assume the best motives for
others’actions. Assume the best
o f your friends. Don’t be blind
to dangers, but put the best
construction on what people say.
For instance, if someone says
14
“Nice hair,” accept it as a compli­
ment. If someone says something
hurtful, assume they weren’t trying
to hurt you-unless it’s obvious.
□ Communicate clearly. Don’t
play games; don’t expect others
to know what you’re thinking.
Always listen to the other person’s
point o f view. You may not always
agree—you’re a different human
being than your friend is-b u t if
you’re always communicating with
people around you, the chance of
a grudge developing is minimal.
But what happens if you’ve
done everything you can to
prevent grudges and you still
get involved in one?
□ Decide i f it’s a grudge worth
resolving. M ost grudges are worth
resolving, but at times it just
THE LONGER
A GRUDGE GOES
ON THE WORSE
IT GETS AND THE
HARDER IT IS
TO RESOLVE
kkkkkkkkkkk
doesn t pay. You must decide.
“Sometimes,” says author Melvyn
Kinder, “we just have to let go
o f certain conflicts and move
on with our lives.”
n Walk in the other person’s
moccasins. Often a grudge is
driven by hidden motives and
frustrations, like when you get
mad at your cat because you
had a bad day in gym.
Sometimes a person’s family
life is the pits, or their pet got
killed, or they were the victim
o f a crime. This doesn’t excuse
their behavior toward you, but it
will help you to understand where
they’re coming from and help you
make some decisions for how t o ...
□ Confront the grudger.
The longer a grudge goes on,
the worse it gets and the harder
to resolve. Look at the old story
o f the feuding Hatfields and
McCoys. Confront the grudger,
but do it gently and humanely.
It might be as simple as “What
can we do to settle our grudge?”
or “I don’t like what’s going on.”
Almost anything you say to take
the initiative will get the process
going to alleviate the grudge.
□ Talk it out. W hat is the
real problem? Try to figure out
what went wrong and where it
went wrong.
□ Be honest, but don’t
accuse. This isn’t easy; nobody
said it would be. But it works.
As English poet William Blake
wrote, “I was angry with my
friend; I told my wrath, my
wrath did end.”
□ Apologize where you were at
fault. It takes two to make
a grudge, no matter how small
one part may be compared to the
other. Apologize for your fault.
Then. . .
□ Make necessary changes.
Offer to make changes i f you really
want to, or really can. Sometimes
the other person might want
something you can’t or won’t
change; for instance, you might
be good friends with a person
whom your other friend doesn’t
want you to keep.
□ Forgive and forget. Put the
grudge behind you. “Don’t keep
a backlog,” says Dr. Michael
Zentman, professor o f psychology
at Adelphi University. “No one
can defend themselves from
something that happened before.”
So forget it; don’t bring it up
later and bop your friend on
the head with it.
You can prevent grudges
as well as resolve them, if you
want to. It takes energy and it
takes time.
But don’t wait too long,
as Walt and August did. After
seven years o f grudging, Walt,
my stepdad, and August, my
uncle, made up-w hile Walt lay
on his deathbed. It was too late
for two old friends to take advan­
tage o f their mended friendship.
You’re different-you still
have time to prevent or resolve
your grudges.
L IS T E N /J A N U A R Y • 1996
Dream Dale
As he walks you to your door,
Your hands are shaking like a leaf.
Will he leave you something to remember
Or just something to wish for?
He takes your hands in his.
You get close to his crystal-clear skin,
And look into his deep-brown eyes.
Then suddenly you remember—
The garlic you had for dinner.
As you gaze at him, magnificent muscles
Turn into scrawny sticks.
His crystal-clear skin
Suddenly breaks out,
And you realize his deep-brown eyes
Are really contacts.
So much for your dream date!
S a r a h T eb b e, 16
Short H
il l s ,
N
ew
J ersey
ART & PHOTO: ED GUTHERO
Wonderland's Decay
The valley was cold that morning she k n e w Still crisp from the cool nightly freeze.
She breathed out a sigh of sorrowful chill,
And spoke to the wind of her pleas.
The tears in her eyes formed frosty white flakes;
The frost on the ground told the time.
Never again would she hear the wind singing;
The end of it all was a crime.
She realized her desperate lack of help,
For nobody cared for her needs.
Her life crumbling slowly, a bitter retreat,
And the rivers run full as she bleeds.
The cold and ice were part of her too—
Yes, she would miss them for sure.
People knew she was dying, yet in their callous ways
Their icy hearts found no true cure.
They've polluted her heart, the soil of the earth,
W ith sadness she chokes on her skies.
Her veins, the blue rivers, now turn yellow-gray,
As w ith acid rain teardrops she cries.
L etic ia W o l f , 16
O
o lte w a h ,
Tennessee
Take a ride on Freedom’s wings;
take control of what you sing.
Make life what you want for you;
go and do things that you choose.
Take a trip to Freedom’s shore,
then over fields and mountains soar.
Life is there and in your hand;
this is yours and Freedom’s land.
Take control of what you sing;
take a ride on Freedom’s wings.
J im S c h u b e r t , i 6
A tlanta, G
e o r g ia
REALITY OFDREAMS
Let your dreams become reality,
and let reality become your dreams.
Dream until your heart is content,
but when you dream, dream
of the future and not of the past.
Let the past be put aside
to make room for the future.
Let bygones be bygones, and let
your dreams become reality;
Because reality is what life is
all about.
Put aside all those heartaches,
miseries, and pains of the past.
And bring forth the happiness,
pride, and joy of the future.
So let your dreams become reality
and let reality become your dream.
Ro b e r t E y a n
Lo v e l a n d , C
L IS T
o lo r a d o
15
16
L IS T E N /J A N U A R Y • 1996
o f ours is a com m er­
cial pilot for a wellknow n airline. W hen
on a trip to N ew
M exico by car, he
m ade the m istake
o f speedin g and was
stop p ed by a tough
highw ay patrolm an.
“ O K , fellah,”
said the annoyed
officer, “ L et’s see
your p ilo t’s license.”
O u r yo u n g friend
hesitated a m om ent,
then decided to bring
it forth. T h e patrol­
m an stared at it,
laughed, and said,
“Well, I guess
I asked for that”
and w ith a friendly
w arning allowed
the p ilot to continue
on his way.
the preserves on
the tablecloth!”
T h en bow ing in
her direction, he
led the applause,
turning her blunder
into a con tribution
tow ard the success
o f the evening.
|k
*
OW, MOST
OF US KNOW
I \ BETTER TH A N
H H t o REPEAT
I « T H E SAME MIS
^ TAKE TWICE.
P
IL L U S T R A T IO N : RICK T H O M S O N
HERE'S NO
L. . DOUBT
!
ABOUT IT;
ALL OF
v
US M AKE
L
MISTAKES.
M urp h y’s law tells
us that i f anything
can go w rong, it
w ill. Perhaps so,
b u t it’s also been
said that h a lf the
things that go w rong
turn ou t right. R obert
H illyer once told
o f a college student
w ho m istakenly
w andered into the
w ron g classroom
an d becam e so inter­
ested in the subject
that he m ade it
his lifetim e career.
A n d it proved to
be an exceptionally
lucrative career.
Even E m ily Post,
w hose books on
social graces are still
used for reference,
BY JU L IA N A LEWIS
w asn’t w ithout her
share o f blunders.
She w rote o f an
experience that
h appen ed to her
at a prestigious
international dinner
o f the G o u rm et
Society. G esturin g
w ith her h an d while
conversing w ith the
person sittin g next
to her, E m ily hit it
against a large bowl
o f syrupy preserves
being offered by the
waiter. A s the spilled
syrup spread over the
w hite tablecloth, the
society’s president
rose to his feet and
with tw inkling eyes
said, “ Ladies and
gentlem en, I have
an extraordinary
an noun cem en t to
m ake. O u r guest,
E m ily Post, noted
authority on eti­
quette, has spilled
LIS TE N /JA N U A R Y • 1 9 9 6
For as C icero p u t it:
“To stum ble twice
against the sam e
stone is a proverbial
disgrace.” However,
there are tim es w hen
even double blunders
can be p u t to good
use. A professor friend
o f m ine at a sm all
college in w est Texas
once drove his car
to D allas, where
he’d been invited
to deliver a lecture.
H is speech m ade, he
caught a plane hom e,
only to rem em ber at
his doorstep that he’d
left his car in D allas.
W hereupon he
prom ptly proceeded
to the bus station and
purchased a roundtrip ticket to Dallas!
T h e professor invari­
ably told this story
in his classroom on
those occasions when
attention lagged.
It never failed to
w o rk -b rin g in g not
only a chuckle but
an attentive class.
T
T PAYS TO
LOOK ON
THE FUNNY
SIDE OF LI FES
MISTAKES
I
and keep right on
trying. A s Edw ard J.
Phelps, a form er U .S .
am b assador to G reat
Britain, said in a
speech at M an sion
H ouse,
ÍÍ
THE
PERSON
WHO
MAKES NO
MISTAKES
DOES NOT
USUALLY
MAKE
h e re a r e
TIMES A SENSE
OF HUM O R
IS ALL TH A T S
NEEDED
a n y t h in g ”
to turn a m istake
around. A neighbor
17
Genealogy sounds sorta stuffy-but for a real blast try ...
ILLUSTRATION: BRUCE
DAY
CHECKING OUT THE
FAMILY TREE
BY
1O
ELEANOR
McKEE
L IS TE N /JA N U A R Y • 1 9
an you name your great-grandparents? You
probably know your mom’s maiden name,
but what about the surnames of your grand­
mother’s parents? If you are like most people,
you can name one or two great-grandparents and that’s it.
Try this on for size: if you were able to
continue your backward trek in time and could
trace and locate 10 generations, you would have
a quota of 1,024 grandparents!
This backward journey to identify our ancestors
is called genealogy. It’s detective work, really, but all
you need is an inquisitive
WORKING
mind and a willingness to ask wi ^*rU) or -n ON A F A M I L Y
H I S T O R Y IS
questions and locate answers.
LIKE PUTTING
Want to find out more
TOGETHER
about the family tree? Well,
THE P I E C E S
let’s begin by getting organized.
OF A P U Z Z L E .
You will need a three-ring, loose-leaf notebook and threehole notebook paper.
You can use one divider for each family surname.
For example, if your surname is Johnson and your
mother’s maiden name is Wright and your grandmother’s
maiden name is Ruscetti, you will label your dividers
Johnson, Wright, and Ruscetti. Easy, huh!
Always start with the present time and move
backward. A good beginning is to inquire about your
aunts and uncles. Call and let them know that you are
C
W
L IS TE N / JA N U A R Y • 1 9 9 6
M
'
working on a family history.
Ask if you may visit. Take a
notepad and tape recorder, and
have your questions ready. And
if your grandmother lives nearby,
well, you already have a wealth
o f information available in her
family reminiscences.
Once your grandmother has
shared her life with you, ask her
what she remembers o f her
parents, grandparents, and greatgrandparents. Find out about her
brothers and sisters. When did
they marry and where did they die?
Where are they buried?
Where are their children?
If you talk with a great-grandpar­
ent, you will notice that many fam­
ily stories weave around and
through famous events o f the past.
Ask them all kinds of questions to
really put things in perspective.
Who was president when they
were born? What do they remem­
ber about the Great Depression?
Do they remember their first car?
How much did they pay for gas
back then? What did they do for
entertainment when they were
young? Do they remember relatives
coming to visit?
Maybe you cannot talk with
your relatives in person. No wor­
ries; you can always write them and
get plenty of good stuff. To make
their job easier and to encourage
cooperation, begin your letter by
explaining your project and asking
for their help with the project.
Enclose a self-addressed, stamped
envelope, and a list o f questions,
with a space left for their answers.
If you are seeking information
about two different family mem­
bers, such as Wright and Johnson,
enclose two separate sheets. When
they come back, just punch each
with a hole punch and put in the
notebook. Remember filing sys­
tematically can be just as
important as gathering the
information in the first place.
Don’t forget the basics.
You should first o f all complete
the basic information:
□ a. names of parents
□ b. birth, marriage, death, dates,
and places, spouses’ names,
children’s names
□ c. names of grandparents,
20
IT'S DETECTIVE
WORK REALLY...
YOU NEED
A N IN Q U IS IT IV E
f u i 1 1 » Mi l
WILLINGNESS TO
ASK QUESTIONS
AND LOCATE
ANSWERS.
birth, marriage, death information,
children’s names and birthdates
□ d. names o f great-grandparents,
birth, marriage, death information,
children’s names and birthdates.
Then add all the good, juicy
family details to these fact hangers.
After you have exhausted your
personal sources of information,
you will need to move on to public
records. This helps you verify your
data and often fills in gaps of miss­
ing people, dates, and places.
These public records include
church registers, tombstones, voter
registrations, vital statistics, and
probate records. In the county
clerk’s office o f the courthouse you
will find birth and death records.
In large cities these records are
kept by the vital statistics office.
You may also find useful tax
records in the courthouse.
Sometimes it will be necessary
to write a letter to the courthouse
asking for information. The letter
should be typed, double-spaced,
and short. Give only as much
information as necessary to help
the person answer your questions.
Ask only one or two questions and
enclose a stamped, self-addressed
envelope. And be aware that there
may be a small charge.
Moving on to your public
library, you will often find old
newspapers recorded on microfilm.
Ask the librarian for assistance in
pulling up information.
Working on a family history
is like putting together the pieces
o f a puzzle. And each piece adds
a special dimension and color.
Things like which relatives served in
the military? Did someone in your
family take part in a famous battle?
Did any family member survive a
disaster such as a flood, drought, or
fire? Maybe there’s a famous ances­
tor among the puzzle pieces. Black
families have unique traditions that
sometimes include slave biographies.
Did they leave a farm or plantation
after the Civil War? How did each
choose his last name? Is there a fam­
ily tradition of what country they
came from?
Some family members inherit
personal belongings such as jew­
elry, books, pictures, needlework,
or quilts. Others have inherited
valuable silver utensils or antique
furniture. These items take on new
meaning as you learn o f their past
and former owners. You may want
to take photographs o f family heir­
looms and their present owners.
Try collecting signatures and
displaying them attractively in
a way that illustrates the family
relationships. It will give your
history a very personal touch.
You might encourage each family
member to write a note or story
o f some special event, with his
or her signature. You might even
include a collection o f favorite
recipes from different relatives.
When your family history is as
complete as you can make it, you
have several options. You could
present it to close relatives as your
gift to honor, or in memory of,
special relatives.
If the local or state library or his­
torical society or university library
in your research area keeps a file of
area family genealogies, they might
welcome including a copy o f yours.
The Genealogical Society
Library in Salt Lake City collects
family histories from everywhere.
Send them a copy.
Simply beginning with what
you know and going from there
can be a fun project. The pieces
to your own unique puzzle are
scattered and waiting. Genealogy
is a fascinating and never-ending
hobby. Have fun! ££
L IS T E N /J A N U A R Y • 1996
I H A D NEVER
M ET HER BEFORE.
I NEVER SAW
HER A G A IN .
I'L L NEVER
FORGET W H A T
SHE LOOKED LIKE.
by T. Langdon Fisher
ILLUSTRATION: FRANCIS
LIVINGSTON
M y FIRST IMPULSE
WAS SIMPLY TO
REACH OUT AND
SHAKE HER, TO SAY,
"HEY, WAKE UP!
ARE YOU OK?" SHE
looked so normal. When made
up for a night out, with her hair
done, she had probably been quite
pretty. Her nudity was clinically
practical, but the bright lights and
the metal table she was lying on
still seemed cruel som ehow - so
harsh and cold. I wanted to com­
fort this person, to tell her every­
thing would be all right. But this
silent young woman wasn’t both­
ered by the hard metal table
beneath her or the ceramic bowl
that was her pillow. And every­
thing was not going to be allright.
The young woman, in her
early 20s, was lying in the county
morgue, dead, it was suspected,
o f a drug overdose. A law student
from the local state university,
I was there to observe a forensic
(law-related) autopsy as part o f an
internship with the county attor­
ney’s office. I was unnerved by
the situation when I first entered
L IS TE N / JA N U A R Y • 1 9 9 6
the autopsy room with Dr.
Blackham. Dr. Blackham,
one o f the pathologists who
conducts forensic autopsies for
the state, explained that a full
autopsy was necessary because
drug overdose cases sometimes
turn out to be homicides. Like
simulated car crashes, the “O D ”
is a favorite cover-up scheme of
murderers. This woman, whom
I’ll call Beth, was found dead in
the bathtub by her female room­
mate that morning. The room­
mate hadgone to bed early the
previous night, leaving Beth and
a male acquaintance talking in
the living room o f their apart­
ment. As the doctor was filling
me in, he and his assistant, or
“diener,” were preparing for the
autopsy. I was bothered by the
sickly, languid horror stirring
within me. I struggled to keep
my feelings respectably inside.
But why wasn’t my reaction
more clinical, more scientific?
My own father is a pathologist
in another state, so death and
autopsies had been com m on
enough topics o f conversation
as I grew up. Yet in all those
years I had never observed an
entire “ post” (postm ortem
examination) from start to finish.
And the human corpses I had
seen were either elderly or persons
already prepared for funeral.
Beth, on the other hand, was
young and had none o f the stiff,
wax-figure appearance I must
have subconsciously expected.
As Dr. Blackham began his
external examination, Beth’s joints
were fully mobile, her skin still
soft under his touch, adding to
the bizarre illusion that she was
simply asleep and could at any
moment rise up, yawning and
rubbing her eyes.
The surface examination
did not go far before the first sign
o f a drug overdose was found.
Traces o f a thick, frothy foam
at the edges o f Beth’s mouth were
typical o f drug overdose cases,
the result o f sharply increased
breathing rate and salivation.
While looking for other
evidences o f overdose, the
pathologist was also watching
for signs indicating a cover-up
o f the drug-taking. There were
no “tracks” on Beth’s arms, as are
often found on consistent intra­
venous drug users. Dr. Blackham
had been informed that Beth was
from a middle-class fam ily-to
the doctor this meant that if Beth
had been shooting drugs, it was
probably something she would
21
WANTED TO COMFORT THIS PERSON
AND TELL HER EVERYTHING WOULD BE ALRIGHT...
EVERYTHING WAS NOT G O IN G TO BE ALRIGHT.
hours prior to her death. Now the
jewelry was removed and sealed
in a manila envelope. First it
would go to the police, then later
to Beth’s mother and father.
N o further external evidence
o f trauma was found: strangula­
tion, suffocation, or drowning
would have left telltale changes
in Beth’s physiology. Before the
internal examination began, the
diener took photographs o f Beth’s
body from various perspectives,
and close-ups o f the needle marks
we had found. Now the internal
organs would be removed for
individual inspection and to
get specimens that would be
examined under a microscope.
The skin and flesh o f Beth’s
abdomen and chest were parted
with a scalpel, a somewhat gory
process, but still reminiscent
o f surgery. For quick access
to the chest cavity, however,
large tree-pruning shears crunched
through her ribs in a few easy
strokes. My sickly sensation
22
expertise, while blood and bodily
fluids spilled down the drain.
Small sections o f each organ
would be kept in plastic vials;
later these sections would be cut
into slices just a few cells thick
and mounted on slides. Her liver,
Dr. Blackham told me, was
o f slightly firmer consistency
than normal, with a yellowish
tint, indicating that Beth was
probably an alcoholic, booking
into the rubbery, twisting tube
o f Beth’s bowels, the doctor could
even tell what she had eaten
recently. It seemed so intimate—
as though we were somehow
violating her privacy. But while
my feelings o f pity and curiosity
about Beth were increasing as
blood, urine, and other fluids
splashed and swirled in the
running water beside me,
my own instinct for self-preserva­
tion made me take a step back
from the sink’s edge. With an
intravenous drug abuser there is
always the possibility o f AIDS.
The whirring sound o f a small
motor caught my attention, and
I turned to witness the continued
disassembly o f Beth. The diener
was testing a miniature handheld
reciprocating saw, which he then
set down. I wondered later if this
“test” had been meant to get my
attention, and that the diener
actually enjoyed having an audi­
ence for his craft. A scalpel sliced
across Beth’s hairline at the back
o f her head, from ear to ear.
The entire scalp was then peeled
forward, almost yanked forward,
in one piece, exposing the bloody
white o f the skull. Beth’s hair
and scalp rested on her face like
an inside-out wig, while the small
saw was used to remove one neat
section o f the skull from the base
o f the ears to the top o f the head.
The grayish, convoluted brain
was excised and lifted out o f its
lifelong shell with surprising ease.
Beth’s brain was then
partitioned and repartitioned
by the experienced hands o f
Dr. Blackham, as the other organs
had been. The leftover pieces
o f Beth’s organs, including the
brain, were put in a plastic bag
and placed in the chest cavity.
The breastplate would be returned
and the incision sewn up by
the diener. The skull top would
be wired or glued back into place.
Nothing unexpected would
be found even microscopically.
The autopsy would yield no evi­
dence o f murder, and although
the blood samples would later
indicate lethal levels o f injected
cocaine, there was no evidence
o f force. Beth had simply over­
dosed. A self-induced “accident.”
But somehow I am sure this
accident could have been
prevented, that Beth could have
found some other path. If at
some point in her life an image
o f this scene-nightmarish for its
raw reality-had been as indelibly
set in her mind as it would be
in mine, she might have lived
differently. But there she la y a pretty young woman on a
cold metal table, her lips pulled
back into a brief, illusory smile,
her own scalp and hair sewn
back onto her brainless skull. Zt
LIVING STO N
I
o f horror grew more intense
as this “sleeping” young woman’s
chest was popped open like
a box and the stench o f the
human interior filled the air.
1 continued my questioning
o f Dr. Blackham with as much
outward poise as possible, asking
where certain organs were located
and what was normal and what
was not. For instance, the yellow
color o f the fat layers beneath
Beth’s skin, the doctor informed
me, is normal for human beings
and is the same color as the fat
in pigs, as opposed to the white
fat found in cattle.
The breastplate was set aside,
and Beth’s organs were removed
and placed on a cutting board
beside a metal sink. Fler chest
cavity loomed open, empty.
One by one Dr. Blackham
sectioned the organs with rapid
ILLUSTRATION. FRANCIS
want to hide from her parents.
Sure enough, recent needle
marks in Beth’s right underarm
and between the toes o f her left
foot were located; even her gums
and tear ducts were examined
as possible sites for injection.
Several older needle marks were
also found in other hidden
places -Beth was an addict.
During this initial inspection,
subtle, poignant reminders stood
out like final assertions o f individ­
uality from this coldly mute
woman. Three cloth and elastic
bracelets dangled from one wrist,
and five rings decorated her
hands. She had delicate butterfly
earrings in pierced ears. Each o f
these items undoubtedly held
some meaning for Beth, even if
it was only that she found them
pretty or fashionable. She had put
the pieces on as early as 14 or 16
L IS T E N /J A N U A R Y • 1996
O Y O U SEE
Y O U R BAC
: M & M S AS
HALF EMPTY
OR H A LF TO
BE E N J O Y E D ?
Is your soda pop can half gone or
still half full? When the school team
is five points behind at half time, are
you glad they have so much time
left in which to pull out of their
slump, or are you ready to “Turn out
the lights, the party’s over?”
Does the whole world dump on
you? Are you a creature of gloom
and doom, regardless o f the weather?
Or do you keep a spare rainbow in
your jeans pocket, especially for your
rainy days? If you’re an optimist,
you always see the sun peeking
through the storm clouds. If you’re
L IS T E N /J A N U A R Y • 1996
OR PROPHET OF GLOOM?
a pessimist, the smallest cloud in
your sky threatens you. Take this
quiz and discover your type.
1. You interview for an after-school
job. When you tell your parents
about the interview, you say:
□ a.“They’ll never hire me. I don’t
know why I even applied.”
□ b.“Oh, no! I forgot to tell them
about my job last summer!
I probably blew it.”
□ c.T think I’d be great at the job.
I don’t know how many others
are applying, but I think I have
as good a chance as anyone.”
PHOTOS AND
ART: ED GUTHERO
2. For the school science fair,
you and your lab partner design
a mock-up of an active volcano.
When first prize goes to the team
that created a beating heart, you
say to your partner:
□ a. “The teacher always did like
those guys better than us.”
□ b.“If only I’d come up with
a more realistic lava flow, we
would have snagged first place.”
□ c.“Wow! Second prize. That’s
cool. What can we do next year
to win first place?”
3.You go shopping for new jeans
and discover that the size you
usually buy feels a little snug.
You think:
n a. Fat! Fat! Fat! I am so fat!
□ b. Ooh, those after-school
snacks have caught up with me.
I should try on a pair o f jeans
with a different cut before
□ c.
L IS T E N /J A N U A R Y • 1996
leaping to conclusions.
4.The TV evening news reports
on the unemployment rate and
the state of the national economy.
You react with:
□ a. “Why bother going to school?
By the time I get out there,
the only job I’ll be able to land
is washing cars.”
□ b. “How in the world will
I ever be able to make it?”
□ c. “There’s always room for
a good worker. Besides, by the
time I get there, who knows
how the economy will be?
5. You made a date to meet
a friend at the mall. The time
comes and passes. Fifteen minutes
later you wonder:
□ a. Probably he/she never intend­
ed to meet me in the first place.
□ b. Maybe I told him/her the
wrong time.
□ c. He/she probably got stuck
in traffic.
TO SCORE:
Total your A’s, B’s, and C ’s.
M ostly A’s:
The pessimist in you is strong.
You think nothing ever goes right
and that trouble is forever. To
become more upbeat about life,
begin by changing the messages
o f failure that you send yourself.
When things don’t go right, instead
of saying, “I’m stupid,” or “I’m a
failure,” reassure yourself with,
at a time,
M ostly B ’s:
You’re too heavy on yourself. You
think you’re to blame for anything
and everything that goes wrong.
Relax a little. Give yourself a break.
Remember, bad things happen
occasionally no matter how hard
you try to avoid them.
M ostly C ’s:
You are an optimist about yourself
and about life. You know that
troubles don’t last. When trouble
comes, you may get down for a
short time, but you bounce back
quickly. And on the whole, you
are probably healthier than your
more pessimistic friends. ^
25
R{ A L Pf 0 P Lf
SPEAKING
OUT
AGAINST
JANUARY 1996
A L I S T E N S PE CI AL
BACCHUS TO THE FUTURE
P H O T O : C/O
BACCHUS
A C C H U S - Boost
Alcohol Consciousness
Concerning Health
o f University students.
BA CCH U S was founded in
1976 at the University
o f Florida by a graduate
student developing a
cam pus alcohol education
program and writing peer
education materials. Today
there are 750 clubs at
colleges and universities
across North America.
At Salt Lake Community
College club members focus their
activities on promoting responsi­
bility and fun alternatives to
drinking, such as creating a mock
cocktail recipe book and selling
some o f those nonalcoholic drinks
on campus at a “smart bar.” The
club also has sponsored the dis­
play o f sections o f the national
A ID S quilt at the college, distrib­
uted healthy treats to classmates
for the Great American smokeout,
and organized a collegewide health
week, which included a fun walk
and run. As an annual event in
December, BA C C H U S raises
money to buy Christmas presents
and food for a needy family that
has a family member attending
the college.
“Each activity BA C C H U S
sponsors has some purpose or
message the club is trying to share
with other students,” said Diane
Cashel, Salt Lake Community
College BA C C H U S club adviser.
26
DRUGS
Slama
ALCOHOL AND DRUG
EDUCATION
PEER SUPPORT
TEAM
Students Helping Students
Rasourc* Title Hours
Monday-Friday
(0:00 a.m. ■ M O pm
Pot Mori MonMUon Oil 967-4268
or VWI Ul mCC 230
S A L T L A K E C O M M U N IT Y C O L L E G E
• BACCHUS l e a d e r s Mike Worthen a n d D i a n e C a s h e l o f S a l t L a k e
Co m m u n i t y C o l l e g e s p r e a d the w o r d a t a r e c e n t s t u d e n t event.
b a c c h u s ’s mission of
educating and helping others has
extended beyond the college. The
group hosted nationally renowned
speaker Chuck Jackson to take
part in Red Ribbon Week, a week
dedicated to eliminating alcohol
and drug abuse across the country,
and they have helped with many
area community service projects,
such as providing workshops for
high-risk students and working
with the Salt Lake Neighborhood
Housing Organization.
Salt Lake Community Col­
lege’s BA C C H U S club encourages
all students across the campuses to
get involved. The group is diverse,
with members from different
disciplines and ages ranging from
18-year-olds to a grandmother.
Throughout the year
B A C C H U S members speak
to Salt Lake area high school
students about substance abuse,
AIDS prevention, drinking
and driving, and other
responsible issues.
“We try to tell high school
students about healthy choices
they can make. It’s kind o f like
preventive maintenance for them.
A lot o f high school and college
students experiment. We try to
educate them so that they will
choose to become responsible
citizens. We let the community
know that we’re working in the
direction to help students know
that there is some sense in this
crazy society,” club president
Worthen explains.
At the local high schools
B A C C H U S club members don’t
lecture to students, but rather try
to interact with them. Worthen
L IS T E N /J A N U A R Y - 1996
said the students listen when they
hear BA C C H U S members’ expe­
riences with alcohol or drugs and
how their lives have changed since
they quit that lifestyle.
Cashel said that the most
effective way for students to
overcome their alcohol depend­
ency is when they are able to talk
honestly with their peers about
their alcohol habits and attitudes.
“ B A C C H U S students are being
role models for their peers, show­
ing them they can be productive
and still be as ‘cool’ as when they
drink,” she said.
“It’s B A C C H U S’s aspiration
that once they showcase their
program, others will start their
own. We’re taking an active part
in the involvement o f substance
abuse prevention in the commu­
nity. Education in prevention
never stops. It isn’t limited just
to students,” Cashel said.
THIS GUY BELIEVES
by Diane Cashel
Mike Worthen, 23, of
Kearns, Utah, is a normal, active
college student. He studies com­
puter science, rollerblades and
mountain bikes with friends,
and shares a love o f the out
doors with his girlfriend.
Worthen stands out among
his peers. He was recently named
Outstanding Student Club Leader
at Salt Lake Community College
for his work as BA C CH U S
president. He also was chosen
from more than 120 nominated
regional members for the
Outstanding Student Award.
B A C C H U S, a national
organization on more than 750
college and university campuses
in North America, is dedicated
to promoting responsible alcohol
choices. Under Mike’s direction
the B A C C H U S club offers fun
alternatives to drinking and drugs.
Worthen is a former alcohol
and drug user who has witnessed,
firsthand how it can destroy
a family.
“When I was 5,” he rememL IS TE N / JA N U A R Y • 1 9 9 6
bers, “my 18-year-old half-brother
got drunk and shot himself in the
eye. About eight years after, that
he had deteriorated so much that
he couldn’t take care o f himself.
When I was 16, my 32-year-old
brother died from an overdose
o f drugs and cocaine. All my
brothers and sister were in that
messed-up scene.”
Mike learned about drugs
when he was 7. “I was out in
a field near my home with my
brothers and sister and cousins
when they were trying marijuana.
I didn’t even know what it was,”
he said.
Throughout his childhood and
teen years Mike experimented
with drinking and other drugs.
When he was 16 he dropped out
o f high school. “Even when my
brother died and I was carrying
him as a pallbearer, it didn’t hit
me to stop. I was freaked out and
thinking This is my brother! but
I kept on. My parents knew about
us kids being involved in drugs
and drinking, and they tried to
get us to quit, but we wouldn’t.
I thought we were having too
much fun,” he says.
When he was 18, his girlfriend
convinced him to go back to high
school. “I finished, but that’s
about all you can say for that,”
Worthen recalls. “I was still drink­
ing with friends from my grave­
yard shift at work. I even fell once
when I was drinking at home; I
went right into the Christmas
tree. My sister helped me up and
fixed the tree so my parents
wouldn’t know.”
Something had to give with the
cycle o f addiction. “I came home
from work and partying with
friends after the graveyard shift,
and I wanted to die,” Mike
remembers. “I didn’t like the life
anymore. I didn’t think I would
live until morning.”
He awoke his mother and told
her. She kept him up for a few
hours, talking, and then stayed
by his side that night. “In the
morning she made me look up
and call a local detoxification unit.
I didn’t want to. I figured I had
made it through the night, so I’d
be O K. She was tired o f the strain
on her family and didn’t want to
lose another son, so she dragged
me there,” he says.
" . . . I N THE M ORNING
SHE MADE ME LOOK
UP AND CALL A LOCAL
DETOXIFICATION UNIT.
I D ID N 'T WANT T O ."
Almost five years ago Worthen
quit that lifestyle, which he calls
a “vicious circle,” and now focuses
on helping others, including his
sister. “She’s trying to quit, but
can’t quite make the commitment.
She can’t believe that she can do
what I did —but she can. My fam­
ily is really proud o f me now that
I’m in college. I’m helping others
in what I struggled through
and being honored for it.”
WORTH
CELEBRATING
by Julie Slama
Salt Lake Community College
has something well worth
celebrating: a lower percentage
o f students drinking alcohol
compared to other colleges and
universities across the country.
A survey by the Drug and
Alcohol Prevention Education
Department showed that 57
percent o f Salt Lake Community
College students don’t drink
alcohol. Nationwide polls indicate
only 13 percent o f the college
students don’t consume alcohol.
“Even though Salt Lake Com ­
munity College students’ statistics
o f drinking alcohol are lower than
others, that doesn’t mean that
we don’t need a substance abuse
program,” says Diane Cashel, Salt
Lake Com munity College alcohol
and drug prevention education
director. “We still need to help
those with substance abuse prob­
lems now and students who may
have them in the future.’ ££
27
(continued from p. 9)
arena
with thousands of people
watching her every move.
And she cannot afford to
get sweaty palm s-not in
gymnastics. That’s pressure!
Yet Dominique overcame
her nervousness to win a
bronze medal as a member
o f the U.S. women’s gym­
nastic team at the 1992
Olympic games in Barcelona,
Spain, and swept all four
events in the National
Gymnastics Championships
at Nashville,Tennessee, in
1994, a feat that hasn’t been
accomplished since 1969.
By winning that champi­
onship, she replaced seven­
time world championship
medalist Shannon Miller,
who finished second in
through the day. As a student
at Gaithersburg (Maryland)
High School, she didn’t
take the easy way out.
Along with the usual classes,
he has been studying theater
as an elective. She’s been
thinking that performing
on the stage may be some­
thing she’d like to do later
in life. “I don’t really have
a favorite subject,” she says.
“None of them come easy
for me at all.” Now that
she’s graduated from high
school, though, she’s already
accepted a scholarship to
Stanford University.
For now she’s focused on
preparations for the 1996
Olympics in Atlanta. When
most other kids her age have
taken off for the mall or the
1 IM
FOR NOW S H E ' S F OC U SE
P R E P A R A T I O N S F OR THE 1 9 9 6
L Y M P I C S IN A T L A N T A . . . I T ' S
A DAI L Y S C H E D U L E THAT D E M A N D S
G R E A T D E A L OF D E T E R M I N A T I O N
□
each of the events.
Dominique has had to
learn at a young age how
to deal with being jittery.
“I’m usually pretty nervous
before an event,” she admits,
“but I try to calm down
my nerves and think about
confident things that I’ve
done in my workouts.”
This is just the kind of
business-like, no-nonsense
remark that you’d expect from
“Awesome Dawesome,” as her
gymnastics teammates call
her. From the moment she
rolls out of bed at 5:00 each
morning, she knows exactly
what she has to do to get
28
movies, Dominique heads for
a grueling seven-hour work­
out at the gym with her gym­
nastics coach, Kelli Hill. It’s
a daily schedule that demands
a great deal of determination.
And determination is a word
that has been very important
to Dominique. Her father,
a health-products salesman,
remembers when, as a 9-yearold preparing mentally for
a gymnastics competition,
she scrawled the word
determination again and again
across the mirror in her room.
But such devotion to gym­
nastics pays off. Without it
there’d be no Olympic bronze
LIS TE N /JA N U A R Y • 1 9 9 6
medal— and the success
she enjoyed at the National
Gymnastics Championships
in Salt Lake City. At that
event she won gold medals
in the vault, uneven bars, bal­
ance beam, and floor exercises.
It’s the kind of performance
that catches the attention
o f college and university
gymnastics teams. In fact,
Dominique received college
scholarship offers from the
University o f Utah, the
University o f Arizona, Oregon
State University, UCLA, the
University of Georgia, and the
University o f Alabama before
she decided on Stanford.
It’s a tall order for someone
only 4 feet 11 inches tall and
88 pounds. But Coach Hill
says she’s up to the challenge.
championships in Birming­
ham, England, in April 1993.
Rather than settle for a sure
shot at a silver or bronze,
Dominique and her coach
decided to try a more difficult
maneuver than was in her
usual routine. She landed the
first vault, but fell on the sec­
ond, a miss that dropped her
into fourth place overall.
“I try not to get frustrated,”
Dominique explains. “I work
on failure by thinking that I
always have something else to
improve on. Sometimes it’s a
little difficult to balance my
gymnastics with the rest of
my schedule, but most o f the
time it’s easy.”
Even so, it’s a schedule that
offers very little time to do
anything else but eat, sleep,
. . . S H E GETS THE O P P O R T U N I T Y
T O T A L K TO F E L L O W T E E N A G E R S
A B O U T THE I M P O R T A N C E
OF L I V I N G H E A L T H F U L L I V E S
AND S T A Y I N G IN S C H O O L .
She admits that Dominique is
“a little overwhelmed” by all
the media attention she’s
received since her recent
successes around the world.
But “we always thought some­
thing like this was possible,”
Coach Hill says with a smile.
“Competing at the high
level I do has helped me to
develop my skills and confi­
dence,” Dominique says. But
she knows that success in
gymnastics hasn’t always been
easy or instantaneous for her.
She needed an unusually
high score in the vault event
to pass the leader for the
gold medal at the world
LIS TE N /JA N U A R Y • 1 9 9 6
and exercise. But Dominique
manages to find time to
make occasional appearances
before youth groups in the
Washington, D .C., area.
She says in that way she
gets the opportunity to talk
to fellow teenagers about the
importance o f living healthful
lives and staying in school.
It’s a message that she
truly believes in; her everyday
routine shows it, and her
international accomplishments
prove it. And as each gym­
nastics meet comes to a close,
Dominique Dawes is getting
more medals and fewer
butterflies. ££
29
editorial
JUST
«
B E T W E E N
US
H ap p y Families
The real question is— Why do people, ana young people in particular,
risk so much to fool around with drugs and drug-like substances?
As part of the job of editing Listen magazine, I get to attend a lot
o f conferences, I get to hear a lot of officials talk pompously about their
local drug problem (or deny having any problem— right!), I get to read
a lot of news releases, and I get to study the latest figures from all over
the world on drug use and prevention. And overall I sense a growing sense
o f desperation among the professionals about really licking this problem
and making a difference.
Earlier today I spent a little time reviewing a CBS special report on the
drug problem internationally, complete with a discussion on how we should
taclde the problem here in North America. Almost out of desperation many
o f the experts on that program were suggesting that we follow the unproven
European experiments with drug legalization and drug maintenance
for registered addicts. Even allowing for the hyperbole in the statement
o f ex-U.S. drug czar William Bennett, that with drug legalization we
will have 50 million drug addicts in this country, I think any sane
person knows a bad situation would only worsen with looser controls.
But where is the answer to our drug war?
I’ve come to the conclusion that the issue is hardly one of drug use
at all. Our schools, teachers, and administrators are currently totally at
their wits’ end dealing with a brutal epidemic of inhalant use among
students. With inhalants we have entered a wild new frontier where
it seems almost any substance can be used as a drug to produce a high
of sorts-and where many cleaning items can be seen as potential kid
killers. We can’t ban every brand of cleaner or solvent-based product.
No, the problem is not drugs and the control of particular substances
at all. The real question is Why do people, and young people in particular,
risk so much to fool around with drugs and druglike substances?
I am more and more convinced that a well-balanced young person
growing up in a supportive loving home, guided by caring teachers, and
in association with friends of a similar background will never take drugs
or feel a need to take drugs. I’m of the opinion that any human being with
a sense of purpose in life and goals for the future will automatically steer
clear of a hazardous encounter with drugs or any such deleterious activity.
What am I saying? I’m saying what the Johnson Foundation found
to be definitively true—that family/home influences are the major deter­
miners of whether or not a young person will take to drugs. I am saying
that our society as a whole needs to communicate upbeat, positive values
to all citizens, including young people. I am saying that ultimately the
drug problem in this country is a crisis of the spirit. And as such, the
answer lies in the area of human goals and aspirations and values rather
than relying only on interdiction, enforcement, and even aversion therapy.
I’m saying that the Listen approach is the only sane one. Positive
alternatives-offering something better.
L I N C
n
55
T argeT
Hi
M A D IS ® N
YOUTH TO YOUTH
L N
Editor Lincoln E. Steed
Editorial Assistant Anita L. Jacobs
Designer Ed Guthero
Director, Periodical Sales Ginger Church
E ditorial Consultants
W in to n B eaven , P h .D .; H a n s D ie h l, D r .H .S c ., M .P .H .; W in sto n F erris; Patricia M u tc h , P h .D .; T h o m a s R .
N e slu n d ; S to y Proctor, M .P .H .; F ran cis A . S o p e r, L itt.D .; Je n n ife r A c k lam ; D e W itt W illiam s, P h .D .; L ars Ju stin e n ;
E d G uth ero .
30
L IS T E N /J A N U A R Y • 1996
SAY WHAT?
A
BY ROSIE CENTRONE
N U M B E R O F P E O P L E H A V E L IC E N S E PLA TES T H A T E X P R E S S
H O W T H E Y FEEL O R T H A T T H E Y A R E P R O U D O F T H E IR P R O F E S S IO N .
FO R E X A M P L E , A P H Y S I C I A N M I G H T H A V E A L IC E N S E PLA TE
T H A T SAYS “ # l D O C R ”
M ATCH EACH L I C E N S E
H IG H IQ
c
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TV PI
I 4 SEE
PLATE
I SEE M E
X
X
i c u r o k
(NUM BER
)
A l K9
EMMY W N R
) (
)
i n v u
2B OR NOT 2B
TP 4 2
SOLUTIONS
(33S3dOd l) 13HdOy<J 0 1 (>IO
l) NOS»3d OHSIWIidO '6 (n ° ^ ^ N3
l) NOS»3d Sn03V3f '8 («3NNIMANW3 ) NVW1>l3d
V 3 H y L (3a 0 1 10N a o 39 0 1 ) NVd 3dV3dS3>IVHS
'9 (3NINVD I - y ) 3ISSV"! '5 ('d01VDHS3ANI
31VAI»d A l) » 33113S W O J_ > (O A A ld O d 33d3l )
3SnOdS SIH O N V S A V d g '£ (3W 33S |) SPISSIOWN
T (Ö I HDIH) »OSS3dOdd 3D 3 T 1C Q '¡N O Iim O S
3dV n O A 33S
I D O C T O R ).
B E L O W W IT H IT S C O R R E C T O W N E R .
LASSIE
2 . SHAKESPEARE FAN _
3 OPTIMISTIC PERSON
4 . NARCISSUS_ _ _ _ _
5 . RHEA PERLMAN
6 . PROPHET_ _ _ _
7 . BRAVE AND HIS
SPOUSE_ _ _ _ _
8 . TOMSELLECK_ _ _ _
9. COLLEGE PROFESSOR
10 JEALOUS PERSON
1
YES!
I w ant to get with the action. Sign me up. H ere’s
■ $24.95 for a one-year subscription to LISTEN.
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MAGAZINE
LI STEM M A G A Z IN E
LISTEN personality features are just one part
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of a fast-paced, totally relevant magazine that
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L IS T E N /J A N U A R Y • 1996
31
G re e n A p p le s , R a c e C a r s ,
F a i t h , a n d F o o t b a ll
LISTEN MAGAZINE JANUARY 1996 VOLUME 49 NUMBER 1
by Barry Benson
T h e P r o jn is e
C o u l d I h a v e m a d e a d if f e r e n c e ?
M a y b e if I 'd s ta y e d w i t h th e m —
t a lk e d o r a r g u e d s tro n g e r.
>ia Fuente
/e ll, here i a m ,
o n e o f th e t h in t im e s . "
10
T h is Is P e r s o n a l, P a r d n e r
W hy Yo u r P a re n ts Say No
by Bill Vossler
by Duane V a le n tr y
H o w to h a n d le g r u d g e s . . .
6
13
"A w eso m e D aw eso m e"
Checking Out the Fam ily Tree
by Gary B. Sw a ns on
by Eleanor McKee
8
" D o m i n i q u e D a w e s is O l y m p i c - r e a d y
a n d u p to th e g o l d s t a n d a r d . "
18
G e n e a l o g y s o u n d s s o r ta s t u ffy —
b u t f o r a r e a l b la s t t r y it th is w a y .
T h e A u to p sy
by T. L an gd on Fisher
21
I h a d neve r m et her b e fo re . I never
s a w h e r a g a i n . I'll n e v e r f o r g e t w h a t
s h e lo o k e d like.
FACTOIDS 5
YO! J E N N Y ''Sneaking Out" 7
LISTENING "Dream Dale" 15
CHOICES "Cheerleader or Prophet of Gloom!" 24
PRIME TIMES BACCHUS to the Future 26
JUST BETWEEN US "Happy Families" 30
PUZZLE Car Tags 31
NEXT M O N TH
■ THE GREAT G R E T Z K Y Hockey Superstar W ayne Gretzky, a legend on ice.
■ THE SILENT EPIDEMIC
Teen Drinking
■ JUST HANGING OUT The high-flying
sport of hong gliding.
L IS T E N /J A N U A R Y • 1996