How To Survive In Israel

How To Survive In Israel
By Rafi Freeman
Introduction
This guide is intended to help the Oleh/Olah hadash/a (new immigrant) to
adjust to life in Israel. The key to survival is humor and savlanut (patience).
It is absolutely crucial to possess the ability to laugh at ourselves and at all
the zany things that happen to us in our new country. It is also of the utmost
importance to forego our ethnocentric views and learn to accept Israel and
Israelis for whom and what they are.
This guide will deal with the actual process of adjusting to life in Israel
and how best to not only survive, but also to flourish. It will be done in a
first person style of narrative writing, utilizing the methods of personal
stories and anecdotes. Humor is a necessary and most important element in
the successful process of Aliyah (moving up to Israel), and will certainly be
reflected in this guide. Additionally, many practical suggestions to concrete
problems and situations will be provided. The main idea is to provide you
with the proper tools to successfully navigate the pitfalls of life in Israel with
a minimum of discomfort. It aims at teaching you the necessary coping
skills to make Aliyah a much more fun and less “difficult” experience.
This guide will cover subjects as diverse as dealing with separation from
family and friends, Hebrew acquisition, dealing with bureaucracy, searching
for employment, the army, etc. It will also delve into the author’s view on
our purpose here in Israel after we are successfully absorbed.
This guide is not intended to deal with the specific rights and obligations
that pertain to Olim (pl. oleh – new immigrants). Before making Aliyah, it is
best to turn to your local Aliyah Shaliach (emissary). You should also
contact one of the very helpful Immigrant Organizations. For North
Americans, it is the AACI (Association of Americans and Canadians in
Israel).
A special thanks is to due to the AACI for guidelines that were taken
from them that helped provide information on culture shock and job
interviews.
It is the purpose of this guide to help you through the difficult times in
your klitah (absorption) by learning some of the tricks of the trade so you
will become a successful member of Israel’s society. This guide is one
man’s success story, written solely from his specific point of view, and the
methods employed by him may or may not be suitable for everyone.
It is suggested that the reader sit back, kick off his/her shoes and relax.
As Rafi says, “if I can survive and succeed in Israel, then anyone can!”
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Chapter One-Separation from Family and Friends
After much time and effort in planning my Aliyah, with four suitcases in
hand and coupled with strong Zionist convictions, the fateful day had finally
arrived. I found myself at Kennedy Airport, about to board an El-Al 747
jumbo jet, and armed with a one way ticket to heaven (I mean Israel). Life
couldn’t have been better (or so it seemed). My family (mother, father,
sister, brother and even our pet dog) accompanied me to the airport (so what
did you expect from a good Jewish family?) in order to say goodbye. The
shock came as I was about to go through the security checkpoint and bid
them farewell. I was presented with five letters (yes, even one from our pet
dog!) that were to be read only when I was on the plane. They had caught
me off guard. Completely off guard. I had nothing to give them in return. I
promised myself that I would never let that happen again!
I opened and read them one at a time. They were real tearjerkers. Each
one summed up our lives together and what we meant to one another.
Suzie’s (our dog) was just a paw print, but I totally understood what she had
wanted to say. I wasn’t yet a tough Sabra (native born Israeli), and try as I
might, tears were welling up in my eyes. And here is where I learned my
first and possibly most valuable lesson on the true nature of Israelis, and
what I would later discover to be quite “normal”. I was quickly surrounded
by many balaboostas (real Yiddishe/Israeli mommas) who provided me with
three things.
1) Psychological support-they had to know what was wrong and how
they could interfere (I mean help!).
2) Food -I must have received at least ten extra meals. It’s not that the
airline food was so good, but it’s the principle of the thing that counts.
Sadly, I remember eating many of them. This is part of a different problem
for another time and place!
3) Shiduchim (marriage set-ups) - I was given at least the same amount of
telephone numbers of eligible women as I was portions of food. And it’s
rarely their own daughter. It’s always “My neighbor’s son is in this special
unit in the army, and he has a friend. Their family owns a conditoria
(Bakery) and every Thursday evening, a woman comes to buy her Shabbat
challah (this is the best time to buy them, by the way). She has a daughter
that would be perfect for you! How they can deduce something like this is
way beyond my personal scope of imagination, but since they all gave me
telephone numbers I figure that they have to know something that I don’t. I
did end up calling and even going out with several of them, by the way. The
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same held true for my shaliach. He fixed me up with his own daughter,
which is very rare indeed! Maybe I’m just a very likeable guy, who knows?
It took me a while to understand what this was all about and then it
dawned on me. Until we can solve the problem of mass Aliyah, we need to
have a greatly increased internal Aliyah, and in order to have internal
Aliyah, we need to have couples, and the rest you can figure out for
yourselves!!!
When making Aliyah, the act of totally uprooting oneself and moving to
a new country involves difficulties for all age groups. Singles, young
married couples (with or without children), and retirees all experience
different levels of separation anxiety, if at all. In North America, many of us
do not live in the immediate vicinity of our close relatives, so this specific
anxiety may not be so severe. For some, it is a very big problem. Except for
a few very lucky individuals who actually come here with family intact, it
must be accepted as a fact of life that we will be coming here alone and
leaving both family and friends behind. While it’s usually not the optimum
situation, it is also not the end of the world either. It is best to view this as
being simply a fact of life, and to figure out ways to reduce the pain and
suffering. It is most difficult on holidays such as Pesach, when families
usually do get together for the Seder. And it’s not made any easier when
your family either uses various inducements to get you to return (or not to
come at all) or other kinds of psychological torture. The first could be
anything from a job offer (maybe in the family business) to the purchase of a
car or even a house. I have heard numerous examples of each.
The psychological aspects revolve around sentences such as “your
brother could only go for a week to the Bahamas this year for his vacation”
or “did you know that your sister just bought her second home-a vacation
house in the Catskills-but it only has only fifteen rooms!?” Or, like when
they send you clippings from the paper showing the results of a pigua
(terrorist attack). So fight fire with fire. Get the weekend edition of your
home-town newspaper and circle all the shootings right off the front page
and send it to them. This works best when you come from a big city such as
New York. They’ll stop sending you stuff within a very short time, I assure
you!
Yeah, I came to Israel to get rich. After all, there is an old joke. How
does one make a small fortune in Israel? Come with a big one….
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But let’s look at this problem logically. To begin with, how many of us
actually lived with our parents after the age of eighteen or so, and in many
cases, even in close proximity to them? How many families really do see
each other more than several times a year, usually only on the family
gatherings and holidays?
Let’s discuss the facts. Ever since the revolution in phone rates several
years ago, it no longer costs a small fortune to call almost anywhere in the
world. And all the competing companies have deals to certain countries and
charge very low rates to these. Of course, if you call another country that’s
not included in the deal…..In any event, we’re talking less than 10 cents a
minute from Israel to the good old U.S. of A. And even if you don’t have
the ten cents, then call collect! What Jewish mother won’t accept a 3 A.M.
collect call from her beloved child? She can get upset with you later. But
believe me, she will accept the call!
And there is the computer and the internet. Sure, you can still send
letters, or even telegrams the old fashioned way via the post office, but who
doesn't E-mail these days? And now it’s even possible to communicate
telephone style via our personal home computers and if camera equipped,
see the other person live. Why, there’s even videoconferencing where you
can literally feel like you are there in the room with them.
Flying. It’s cheaper than ever before. Just wait for a deal and fly for a
very reasonable price. And even during high travel seasons, such as
holidays, it’s still not too exorbitant an expense.
I suggest that you engage in a major Israel reality (fact and information)
campaign. Most people have very skewed views of life here especially if
they are unfortunate enough to get their news by watching CNN or BBC.
Buy a subscription for family and friends to the International edition of the
Jerusalem Post. Tell them about your favorite books on Israel and
encourage them to read them.
Get them to join PNAI (Parents of North American Israelis). It’s a great
support group for them. And aside from being able to get together, share
stories, or just let it all hang out, there are many practical benefits as well,
like loans for Olim and the ability to bring a third suitcase on El Al. Or in
having someone else in the group bring something over for you or vice
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versa. Group flights may even be arranged at certain points in time. It’s well
worth the effort to get them to join.
Show them via pictures what Israel is all about. Nowadays, these can be
done digitally and sent instantly over the internet. This applies to both stills
and even videos. It really is quite amazing how technology has advanced.
There is always the “ancient technology”-the tape recorder. If you can’t
attend the family Pesach Seder back in your “home” country, have them
video or tape record this and or any other special events. You may not be
there in person, but this will make it seem as if you were and make it a much
less painful experience.
If you are on one of the various programs or living in an Absorption
Center, take pictures of your rooms, your classrooms, and especially of your
roommates. It will be comforting for them to see that both they and you
don’t have shaved heads and sell incense at the airport. And if your
roommate is strange or really does have a shaved head, use another more
normal looking friend for this. It’s the principle here that counts.
In short, travel and communication back and forth to Israel isn’t what it
once was. No tediously slow boat journeys over the dangerous high seas
that took weeks at a time. Today, it’s a very easy, convenient and relatively
inexpensive process.
But yes, unless you are one of those fortunate few, it will always remain
one of the toughest aspects of making Aliyah. So, grin and bear it. And
take full advantage of today’s ultra modern technology.
Chapter Two-Acquisition of Hebrew
So, you think that you’ll never learn Hebrew. Well, you will. It will just
take time, effort and a great deal of savlanut (patience). But it will happen.
The real irony here is that you could survive in Israel with a minimum of
Hebrew (and I know people like this), but then you would be missing many
aspects of life as we know it including humor, sarcasm, and wit. Add to this
the typical average daily conversations with your neighbors and friends and
the listening to the daily news as Israelis get it on both T.V. and the radio.
Remember, Israelis listen to the news very often, and when anything
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happens, within minutes the news spreads through word of mouth. So, even
if this is possible, it is certainly not to be recommended.
It is advisable to begin your new life in Israel by exclusively studying
Hebrew in an Ulpan. This unique Israeli method of education has proven
itself time and again for helping Olim hadashim (new immigrants) to acquire
Hebrew in as short a time and in as painless a manner as possible. The best
method would be to learn Hebrew before coming on Aliyah. It is also
recommended to spend time in Israel before actually moving.
An excellent example of an Ulpan is the WUJS (World Union of Jewish
Students) Institute in Arad. It is a program for people who already have
finished their first degree. Students learn Hebrew intensively, as well as
take classes in both Israel and Jewish studies and go on tiyulim (trips)
around the country.
Immerse yourself completely into your studies. Whatever homework you
are given, do twice as much. Label everything in your room with stickers in
Hebrew. Go to bed at night with headphones on and listen to Hebrew tapes.
See movies and plays in Hebrew, and try not to read the subtitles, but rather
to listen to the words and attempt to grasp the general meaning. Watch T.V.
and listen to the radio. And the best suggestion of all is to find an Israeli
“significant other” and refuse to speak in English. You will be forced to
very quickly pick up the Hebrew, or…..
Learning Hebrew is basically a five step process. In the first stage, you
ask directions in English and get answered in English. After all, the average
educated Israeli speaks English. But in the second stage, you get bold and
decide to try your newly acquired pidgin Hebrew. So you stop an Israeli on
the street, and ask “Sliha, Eifo Hamerkaz?” (Excuse me, where is the center
of town?). Of course, your accent will be very thick, and the Israeli will
immediately know from where you hail. As a matter of fact, even little
children possess this unique ability to distinguish our heavily accented
manner of speech. What can I say? It’s a gift! The answer will come back
“over there”. Yes, it’s in English because they feel that they are doing you a
favor and making life easier for both them and for you. But in reality, they
are not.
So, you push gingerly forward and try again. And sure enough, in stage
three, you will be rewarded for your patience and the answer will come back
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“sham” (there). This may be a little victory, but it is a victory none the less.
You’re now on your way to success. But, what happens when they refuse to
answer you back in Hebrew? I have a small trick that has proved useful in
the past. It works best if you are with a friend. Begin to speak pseudo
Chinese (or anything that sounds so foreign and strange that no one could
possibly understand it) and pretend that you don’t understand a word of
English. It makes no difference whatsoever that you were speaking English
less than a minute ago. Almost immediately the Israeli will understand the
irony of the situation and your need to be answered in the holy tongue. They
will now do so. They know when they have lost. Your only problem will be
if they possess a tremendous sense of humor themselves and begin
conversing with you in the fake language that you are using. If this be the
case, then admit defeat and move on to your next challenge.
In stage four, you finally have a decent command of Hebrew, including
some basic slang expressions that are necessary for survival. And by this
time, you will almost always be answered in Hebrew.
So, how do you know when you are really successful? Easy. The first
time you have an argument, a real argument in Hebrew, is a clear sign that
things are going well. From both points of view; the ability to yell back in
Hebrew and the fact that you feel comfortable enough to stick up for
yourself and not be pushed around. Even if it’s only a one-word argument
such as “lo” (no), but stated in a very loud and obvious manner, you’ve done
it. The point is that you have succeeded in feeling an adequate level of self
confidence that enabled you to join society. This is actually a very
important step in your klitah (absorption) process.
The fifth stage of Hebrew acquisition occurs after you have served in the
army. This is not to say that you can’t be totally fluent in Hebrew without
serving in the army. Here, you will be speaking almost totally in army
slang, and now fit in very comfortably into society in general. The only
problem that you will encounter is your Ulpan teacher, who will be
expecting you to speak proper “Abba Eban” type Hebrew and may not
appreciate your new lexicon. You will also get to the point where you
yourself consciously decide to speak improperly, because you know that
99% of the population does. An example of this might be the word biglal
(because). It should be followed by the supposition “ha”, but most Israeli’s
follow it with “sh”. All of the other words for “because” are followed by
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“sh”, but this one isn’t. Once you are at this point in your level of language
acquisition, you have totally succeeded in your mission.
As you advance in your level of Hebrew, you’ll also find yourself
constantly mixing up languages and even forgetting the simplest of words in
both English and Hebrew. Don’t worry, this is totally normal. It happens to
all of us. And one day, when you least expect it, you will find that you
aren’t thinking in either language specifically, but in the one that you are
currently speaking. This is an excellent sign.
Lastly, you’ll know that you are on the right track when you wake up in
the morning in a cold sweat and realize that you have just had a dream in
Hebrew.
Hebrew is a funny language. Me is who. Who is he. He is she. So, I
find myself constantly asking the question, “Then who am I?” You know
that you are in trouble when a conversation begins with the sentence “Ani
agid leha et ha emet” (I’ll tell you the truth). No, does the person actually
believe that I want them to lie to me? Or “Ani asaper leha be kizur” (I’ll
tell you briefly). Sit down. You’re in for a very long tale of woe. Or when
the conversation begins with the words “Al tishal” (Don’t ask). Try not
asking and see where that gets you. Another favorite way to start is “Tagid,
atah idiot?” (Tell me, are you an idiot?). I would love to hear anyone
explain to me how best to answer this one. I guess one could respond with
“yes, I’m so sorry, but I was born this way”. In the army, one often hears
“Bo hena, oofh me kahn” (Come here, fly away). Additionally, there is the
beloved “Lamah, me atah bichlal?” (Why, who are you anyway?). When
hungry, most Israelis are “Metim me rav” (dying of hunger).
Do you know that when an Israeli extends his arm and bends it in at the
elbow, with the thumb nestled against and between the other four fingers
that it means “rega” (wait a moment). This is a very common gesture. So
then if the arm is fully extended, does it mean to wait for a longer period of
time?
Instead of receiving a simple “lo” (no), we often hear “la’aa”. It’s most
usually accompanied by a shoulder shrug. We may also hear “tsch, tsch” in
the same setting. If something is bothersome, we may hear the word
“ooph”. If something is disgusting or perceived as such, then “yichsa” or
“fooyah” are deemed appropriate. Something exciting-maybe “oo la la”
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may be heard. When caught off guard, a woman may blurt out “imaleh”
(mommy).
These are just a few examples of the beauties of the Hebrew language.
As you become fluent yourselves, you will not only understand them, but
will begin using them yourselves. And remember, it’s vital to speak with
your hands. Somehow, the act of constant gesturing lends credence to any
conversation.
Let me give you one last word of assurance. As a child, I was the Jewish
“George Carlin” of my Hebrew school (Midchester Jewish Center in
Yonkers, New York) and have the record for being thrown out of class more
than any other child in the school’s history. Yet if I could eventually
become fluent in Hebrew, then I am convinced that anyone can learn
Hebrew. This is my promise to you.
Chapter Three-Cultural Differences/Shock
I believe that the theory “When in Rome do as the Romans do” applies
very well to life in Israel. We shouldn’t judge Israel from an ethnocentric
viewpoint, always comparing it to the country of our origin. It is best to see
it as not better and not worse, simply different. Once on a tiyul (trip) to
Massada I overheard a student say to another “why, at home in my very
own back yard, we have a mountain even bigger than this”. I couldn’t help
asking him if close to one thousand Jews also died there by their own hands
so as not to fall into slavery and worse at the hands of the Romans. He
understood my point. Don’t constantly compare. Just sit back and take it all
in. Israel is a most fascinating country, rich in both history and culture.
Remember the old commercial “Try it, you’ll like it!”? The same adage
applies here. It is best to be open-minded and give everything a chance.
Ignore the little things, and concentrate on the big and important ones.
Doesn’t the fact that people really care about one another excite you? It
does me. Sure, sometimes they care way too much, but that’s what life in a
small Jewish country is all about. It’s as if the country is one big family.
Now, we all know how families can be and how the stresses of daily life
affect us. When the chips are down, you can usually rely on your average
“Moshe” or “Rachel” to help you out. I occasionally pick a stranger’s door,
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knock on it and ask for a glass of water or use of the bathroom. I usually
end up getting a meal and some great conversation.
We should strive to combine the best of both worlds. Take music for
instance. You should absolutely bring over with you all your favorite discs,
and tapes. Listen to them whenever you are in the mood. But it is also
important to learn to appreciate Israeli music. It is really the heart and soul
of the country. Each “eida” (ethnic group) has its own heroes. Listening to
them will also help to understand the makeup of the different segments of
Israeli society as well as to learn the different accents. What? You thought
that we are the only ones that speak funny?
Israeli entertainers and comedians play an integral role in helping us
adapt to society. I would heartedly recommend listening to the comedy of
both Hagashash Hahiver (the pale scout) and Dudu Topaz’s “Plitat Peh”
(slip of the tongue) in order to get a real feel for the country and what makes
Israeli’s tick. Many older Israelis can still remember and even quote from
several of their skits. You should make that extra effort to see what makes
Israelis laugh. Through humor, everything is revealed about our unique
psyches.
What about food? You want pizza or a hot dog? Or even a McDonald’s
hamburger. Well, we have it in abundance. But why not give Melowoch,
Ingira, Kooskoos, Dabu, Kuba, Hamin (Cholant), Felafel (to name but a
few) a chance also? Each one represents a different segment of the
population. Just be careful when you ask for or are asked if you want
“harif” (spicy sauce) with your food. It can be most brutal. There are
different levels involved here, so make sure you start with the least potent of
them. Don’t be a hero. You’ll regret it!
What segment of the population best symbolizes our most positive
attributes? Many times, I have come to the conclusion that Egged/Dan bus
drivers fall into this category.
Let’s take a look at some “typical” occurrences that involve buses in
Israel and show the true nature of Israeli society. They are fine examples of
why I personally love Israel.
But first, how does one even alight onto a bus in Israel? Do you just
stand patiently in line until it’s your turn? In England, it may be pouring
rain and ten people may be waiting for the bus to arrive. It does, and the
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driver opens the door and announces “room for 4 passengers”. Only 4 will
get on. The rest wait patiently for the next bus. And remember-it’s pouring
cats and dogs. Well, you’ll never see that happen here. The best bus a
lighters are little old ladies with either umbrellas or canes. They are experts
in using them for maneuverability.
This first story involves taking a stand. Sometimes in life, we just need
to put our foot down and this is one excellent example of just such a time. It
also illustrates how we as Olim need to help contribute to Israeli society in
our own way. I was a new Oleh and had to return to Arad from the main bus
terminal in Beer-Sheva. I was the third person on “line”, and as I was
boarding, felt the weight of people pushing against me. I turned around to
face the crowd, and yelled out in my broken and heavily accented Hebrew
(which I purposely exaggerated), the equivalent of “I won’t move until the
pushing stops and everyone stands in line like civilized human beings”. You
can well imagine the reaction of the crowd. First, that beautiful look of
amazement on their faces and then what I like to refer to as the attack of the
first assault wave. I held on to the bus railings for dear life and managed to
hold off the masses. As they were about to regroup and try their luck for a
second attempt, the driver said to me “Kol hakavod” ( more power to you)
and helped me out by planting his foot firmly in the small of my back in
order to help brace me against the building pressure. I addressed the crowd
one more time, explaining yet again that I had no intention of moving. It
worked, and they actually gave up. A line was formed and one by one
people came on the bus. Each one gave me a quizzical look and most let out
a tsch, tsch noise. But, in my own small way, I had just won what seemed to
me to be a major battle in what would of course remain a very long and
never-ending war. We must choose our battles as Olim, but we must also
take a stand when we feel that it is necessary.
A woman gets on a bus holding many packages as well as her baby. She
gives the baby and packages to another passenger (a total stranger) to hold
while she gets out her money to pay for her ticket. Then she gets the baby
and packages back or has them passed back person by person until she finds
an empty seat. Remember, we’re talking here about total strangers. Or are
they?
In a bus or sherut (shared taxi) money is many times dealt with in this
manner, passed back and forth from passenger to driver without a second
thought.
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Two tourists get on a bus and ask the driver to let them off at
Tchernichovsky Street. They fall asleep and he forgets. Upon reaching the
central bus station (his last stop), he sees them sleeping and remembers. He
turns the bus around, and despite the fact that he has already finished his
route and is now technically off duty, returns all the way back to where they
need to be and then even helps them with their suitcases.
A woman gets on a bus and has a little dog. She is forced to pay for a
ticket for the dog. The bus fills up and now there are no empty seats left. A
woman boards and asks the lady to move the dog. She explains that she
bought a ticket and the dog has every right to sit and relax. An argument
breaks out in the bus, with just about every single rider taking an active role.
Like most arguments in Israel, it remains just a heated verbal one. (Should
the situation ever get out of hand, by the way, the driver would simply drive
the entire bus straight to the nearest police station. It has happened,
although it is an extremely rare occurrence). Eventually, a vote was taken
and the woman beat out the dog by only a few votes. The dog owner places
the dog on her lap and allows the woman to sit down. Everyone applauds.
Where else but in Israel could this happen?
It’s Thursday and it’s shuk (market) day. A guy gets on the bus with a
basket with live chickens in it. One of the chickens manages to stick his
head out of one of the holes in the side of the basket and it pecks my leg. I
tell the man that his chicken just “bit” me and what is his response? “So
move your leg!!”
It’s “Yom HaZikaron” (Israel Memorial Day), and the nation-wide
siren goes off at 10 A.M. The bus, along with the rest of the cars on the
road, comes to a complete stop and everyone stands up, bows their heads in
silence and contemplates the meaning of the day. It lasts for two minutes. I
cannot help but to compare this act, coupled with the ceremonies held in
every corner of Israel to the way Memorial Day is “celebrated” in America.
Sales are taking place in every store and barbecues are being prepared in the
backyards of many houses. There are many aspects of life in America that I
have great difficulty in comprehending, but this I really don’t understand at
all.
I had to travel to Manhattan from Westchester, and decided to go into the
city via the local bus. I got on and tried to hand the bus driver a ten-dollar
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bill in order to get a ticket. He moved back and signaled me with his hands
outstretched, palms face up, to back away. He then told me that he doesn’t
touch money. I figured that this had something to do with Aids, but then he
saw my look of consternation and pointed to a big safe and told me to put in
exact change. I explained that I don’t have it-only this ten dollar bill. He
told me to get off the bus. I couldn’t help but laugh at this ludicrous
situation. Having no other alternative, I held the bill high up in the air and
asked the passengers if someone could give me change. All eyes turned
away towards the window. I laughed again as to me, this was pretty
comical, to say the least. The driver was now quite upset and told me to
immediately leave the bus or that he would call the police. I went up and
down the aisle until I found one nice middle aged woman who did indeed
change the money for me. I went back to the safe, and deposited my newly
acquired “exact change”. I then called out to the entire bus “See-I’m just a
nice normal human being who needed change. Was this such a difficult or
bad thing?” Need I add that not one word was spoken by anyone the entire
way into the city? There was total silence.
Compare that with any bus ride in Israel. Any two strangers can become
friends within minutes, and end up discussing the most intimate of subjects.
Israel is a very open society in this matter. Some would claim that it is
indeed too open, with subjects such as salaries and sex being casually and
even rather easily talked about. They might also claim that there isn’t the
“personal space” and the privacy that they so desire. While this argument
certainly has its merits, the fact that Israel is best seen as one big community
or better yet, family, makes it far easier to understand. Things don’t always
go the way you intend for them to go and internal squabbles are always there
if only just below the surface, but a feeling of togetherness does indeed exist
and it is a nice feeling.
Banks are another type of institution that hold a special place within
Israeli culture. There aren’t many different banks, yet you will find their
branches just about everywhere you choose to look. Trying to explain the
way Israel’s economy works is best left to the experts, and I doubt that even
they themselves understand it.
Kirshner, of “Dry Bones” fame, once did a cute comic strip that basically
had three Israeli’s talking to each other about their salaries. The first says
that his salary lasts until the fifteenth of the month. The other two nod their
heads in understanding. The second announces that his lasts until the
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twentieth, same reaction. The third, chest all swelled up with pride informs
them that his lasts until the twenty-eighth of the month. They look at him in
amazement and inquire how he does it. With a sheepish grin on his face, he
admits that he gets paid on the fifteenth!!
How we survive financially remains a mystery. Yet many people own
their own homes. And keep in mind that mortgages do not make up 80-90%
of the total payment. The same principle holds true for cars, cash up front.
It is true that leasing Israeli style is now coming into play, but it isn’t done in
the same manner as it is in the States. Regarding cars just check out for
yourselves the situation on the roads. How many are new or less than three
years old? A lot.
Many people start off with small apartments, and then gradually move
up, room by room to larger premises as years pass and they are eligible for
new or additional mortgages. Olim have traditionally received certain
rights, such as cheaper long term mortgages. It is best to consult with your
Aliyah shaliach and receive the latest accurate information first hand from
them.
I was waiting for 45 minutes on the line at my bank, and was now first on
line. It’s quite an honor. You almost feel as if you have won a lottery. All
of a sudden, a woman comes in the bank’s front door carrying packages (it
was pretty obvious that she had just done her shopping) and announces to
me four of the most dreaded words in the Hebrew language. “Ani hayiti po
kodem” (I was here before). She meant that her place on line was “saved”
and just blindly waiting for her triumphant return. I informed her that I had
never seen her before, especially on this line, and that she should go stand at
the end of the line and start over. She laughed and told me that there was no
way that I could stop her. I told her not to play with fire and to go away. But
she persisted, even going so far as to tell me how she knew that I probably
wouldn’t use physical force to restrain her. I told her that there were other
more effective means, but it meant nothing to her. The bell rang for the next
customer to advance, and sure enough, she did cut right in. I made a
decision on the spot to yet once again, take a stand and make a statement.
Like I said before with the bus line incident, sometimes we need to take
affirmative action in order to better deal with life’s little foibles.
So, in a loud booming voice, with an exaggerated American accent, I
asked for everyone in the bank to stop what they were doing and listen. Of
15
course, they did. I asked the tellers if they were willing to allow a woman
who was totally disrespecting their hard word to cut in line. They answered
with a resounding “lo”. I then turned to all the people in line and asked
them the same question. They also answered with a loud resounding chorus
of “lo” and most even booed her. She retreated in shame as quickly as she
was able. She was waiting for me as I left the bank and inquired as to how I,
an American (don’t you just love our beautiful accents now?) could do this
to her. I answered that I didn’t use any physical method to stop her and that
she brought this totally upon herself. I also reminded her that I had indeed
provided her with several warnings. I further informed her that I would
remember her face, and if I ever saw her doing it again, I would not only
provide a repeat performance, but also write an article on her for the local
paper. She got the message, walking away in complete and utter shock.
The next time that I walked into the bank, I got applause from the tellers.
It was sweet. I am not purporting that one should always take such drastic
measures when faced with various problems, as I believe that we must pick
and choose our battles. But every once in a while, it makes you feel good to
stand up for what you believe in. And if I contributed positively to society
in some minute way, then I can definitely take pride in that also.
Other cultural differences must also be taken into account. I’ve been to
the post office to buy stamps only to discover that they had run out of them.
That’s right. No stamps in a post office. And I’m not even referring here to
a small branch outlet, but to a main branch. I went up to the manager, and
asked her why they were open if they didn’t have the mainstay of their
business on hand. She couldn’t even comprehend the question. She
answered “Of course we’re open. We’re the post office”. So what can I
say? It happens. It’s best to just laugh it off and enjoy the moment. They
are precious.
There are many little “mom and pop” type stores in Israel. As a matter of
fact, many people will prefer to shop in their local “makolet” (grocery store)
as opposed to a big and modern supermarket because they are personally
known in the small store and can also receive credit there, only having to
pay much later. Many of these little stores (and even bigger ones as well)
will almost never have change and will actually ask you to go and bring the
exact change back. It would never even occur to them to have change. I
wonder if there is any connection between things like this and the fact that
there is such a large turnover in many small businesses. Hmmm…..
16
We come from a country where strikes are a relatively rare occurrence.
Luckily, the same holds true here. I hope that you didn’t believe that for
even one second. Many people belong to powerful unions such as the
Histadrut and strikes are not uncommon, to say the least. Since they play an
integral role in our society, it is best to “go with the flow” and not be overly
disturbed by them. This must even apply to the worse case scenarios, such
as being stranded at the airport or not being able to get your passport or car
licenses renewed. Why fret unnecessarily over something over which we
have no control?
So what are the results of these many examples of cultural differences?
Sometimes, new Olim fit right in and have no problems whatsoever in
adjusting to the many changes. More often, many misunderstandings and
much aggravation are a more common occurrence. Add to this irritability,
negative stereotyping, withdrawal, depression and homesickness. It takes
time to learn and eventually accept that things are different. One of the
results is that many Olim experience what is known as “Culture Shock”.
This occurs when one is removed from a familiar cultural milieu and thrust
into an entirely different cultural setting. This is a verifiable emotional
condition which has been studied at length and has four stages associated to
it. Two of Israel’s leading experts in this field are Naomi Roz and Lucy
Shahar. Much of the following material is borrowed from them. They also
provide personal counseling for new Olim. Visit their site at:
http://www.lucyshahar.com/
The first stage of “Culture Shock” is initial euphoria. We’ve all seen how
people kiss the ground at Ben-Gurion airport, or how they get all excited
when they see an Israeli policeman or a bottle of Coke that has the lettering
written in Hebrew.
The second stage involves the actual shock. The symptoms could be
weeping, hostility, homesickness, withdrawal, aggression, compulsive
eating, excessive sleeping, drinking, negative stereotyping of Israeli’s,
illness, loss of ability to work or study effectively, paranoia, etc.
The third stage is the gradual adjustment to the differences of cultures.
The final stage is adaptation and bi-culturalization. It basically means
that the person can now function in both cultures competently. Just for the
17
record, this doesn’t mean that you will never experience oddities when
traveling. It happens quite often that I myself confuse cultures. One small
example of this; in America, especially in New York, G-d help you if you
don’t tip your cab driver. Tip one in Israel and he’ll think that you fell on
your head (although he will most gratefully accept it).
The following is a list of some of the problems that are encountered in a
new culture.
1) Dealing with ways of behaving and /or attitudes that are different
from your own
2) Continually being put in situations where one is expected to perform
with maximum skill and speed, but no-one has explained the rules
3) Situations are ambiguous and one is uncertain about how to react
4) Behavior leads to unexpected results and/or other peoples behavior
doesn’t seem to make any sense
5) Self –esteem temporarily declines as people find themselves in new
roles
It is important to develop intercultural awareness, and be able to see
ourselves as others see us, as well as vice versa.
Americans Value
Friendliness
Politeness
Privacy
Clear-cut instructions
Openness about fears/anxieties
Planning/Advance scheduling
Israelis Value
Directness, Honesty
Assertiveness
Egalitarianism
Pride/Self-Confidence
Warmth/Connectedness
Spontaneity
Israelis Perceive As
Superficiality
Artificiality
Unfriendliness & Excessive Formality
Rigidity, Inability to Improvise
Unnecessary & Unwelcome
Rigidity, Excessive formality
Americans Perceive As
Bluntness, Rudeness, Tactlessness
Aggressiveness
Lack of Consideration
Arrogance
Intrusiveness, Invasion of Privacy
Lack of Restraint/Order
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Hopefully, learning to recognize the differences in culture, and the
possible effect that they may have on us as Olim, will help you to develop
various coping skills (many of which are listed in this guide) that will make
your life in Israel easier. It should also help you understand that you are not
alone and that your feelings have been shared by many other Olim before
you and most probably will be common to future generations of Olim.
Chapter Four-Dealing With Bureaucracy
Rumors abound that Israel suffers from excess bureaucracy. Simply put,
that even the most mundane of chores can become bogged down in endless
delays and aggravation caused by unnecessary red-tape and clerks who have
nothing better to do in life than make your life miserable. I wish to state for
the record that these allegations are 100% false.
Oh, how I wish that I could make this statement, but alas, I can’t lie to
you. Despite the fact that things have changed for the better over the years
and red tape is much less than what it once was, bureaucracy still exists. The
purpose of this chapter is to teach you various coping skills that will
hopefully enable you to “beat” the system. I myself have been employing
them for years to a great degree of success. Even if you can’t always
succeed in attaining immediate gratification, then you should at least know
how best to cope with the situation and reduce your own personal stress
level.
Truth be told, bureaucracy exists in every country, including the U.S.
The difference is that we develop the necessary coping skills early in our
lives and know all the ins and outs of the various situations that we find
ourselves in. It becomes second nature to us and we hardly even give these
situations a second thought.
In Israel, we simply don’t have the years of experience and knowledge.
These situations where bureaucratic red-tape exist and need to be bypassed
are found in many aspects of our lives. They most assuredly center around
government offices and agencies, both national and local, but are to be found
in many other areas of our lives as well. It could be in the bank, the car
dealership, the post office, Kupat Holim (health clinics), etc.
The first important lesson that we must learn is simply in knowing this
fact. Yes, bureaucracy abounds. Next, we should realize that we must learn
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to master it as opposed to allowing it to master us. Many times this is easier
said than done, but as in all things regarding our lives here, we must become
experts in the art of “savlanut” (patience). As with many other things, it
obviously helps to keep a good and healthy sense of humor with us at all
times. Despite this, there are many instances where a good cry can
occasionally come in handy also.
It is very important to have all the facts at your disposal before
attempting to do just about anything. You should check the following things
in advance before ever leaving the house. (It’s why telephones were
invented. Of course, phones in Israel have their own problems, but it
remains by far the easiest mode). Which days is the specific office that you
need open to the public and what are their hours? Are there usually long
lines? Is it a numbered system that entitles you to a first come, first serve
basis of being served, or just a come as you are and take your chances type
of operation? Is there a strike on that day that might render all other
information totally useless, as the office isn’t even open to the public (the
workers may very well be at their desks, but not receiving anyone).
Most offices now have internet websites, and I strongly urge you to take
advantage of them. It is entirely possible to solve certain problems from the
comfort of your own living room. If you can do it this way, then by all
means, do it. Why not take advantage of modern technology?
Never go anywhere if you are time restricted and under pressure. Both
you and the person that you need to help solve your problem will just be
under additional pressure. Always give yourself plenty of time to do even
the most mundane things.
Once you are at your destination, check which line you need to be in.
Ask around. Do not be shy. Being shy in Israel is a clear recipe for courting
disaster. If I had a shekel for every time I have seen Olim waiting for hours
on the wrong line…..It’s also a good way to further advance your integration
into Israeli society. You’ll end up meeting people from all walks of life, and
the conversations will be endless. And if/when they discover that you are
single, guess what? You got it. You’ll even get fixed up.
If there are numbers, then make sure to take one. Sometimes, if the wait
is to be very long, then take another one or two numbers from like 50
numbers hence, and go enjoy yourself for an hour or so. By the time you
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return, your number may be about to be called and you won’t even have
wasted time waiting unnecessarily in line. If a numbering system doesn’t
exist, then wait in line like everyone else. This is one aspect of society
where I don’t believe we need to imitate others. I actually know of one
Oleh who himself, on the spot, set up a makeshift numbering system in a
particularly “insane” situation in order to introduce “seder” (order). Not one
person disagreed with the fact that he took over and assumed control of the
situation.
Remember the Scout motto? “Be prepared”. Bring every possible
document that you might conceivably need. You should also have
photocopies of each document. In certain situations, if they are in English or
they are not the originals, you may have to have them translated &/or
notarized. If there is any doubt whatsoever in your mind concerning some
item, then bring it. Recent passport type pictures also should be a standard
part of your portfolio.
Knowing that you most assuredly will have plenty of spare time to kill
while waiting in line, you should also bring a plethora of different things that
will keep you busy. Books, magazines, Walkman, homework, pen, paper,
are a must.
O.K. Now the fun begins. You have just approached your pakid/a
(clerk) and it is your turn. So, how do you begin the conversation? By
asking for what it is that you came for? “Has vehalilah”! (heaven forbid!).
Keep in mind that they are people too, who work very hard and under
difficult situations. Many customers will have been verbally abusive to
them during the day and this causes them to take that sometimes callous
attitude towards the very people that they are meant to be serving.
Begin with small talk and always address them by name. Discuss
subjects such as the weather, “hamatzav” (the security condition), or
anything else that is currently in the news. When over time, you finally
succeed in establishing a relationship with them (like with a bank teller or
postal worker, for example), then make personal inquiries. “So, I heard that
your daughter was sick with the flu. How is she doing now?” You’ll love
the results. The simple act of humanizing them and showing that you care is
enough to win them over to your side. I go so far as to sometimes bring
little “symbolic” gifts on Rosh Hashana and on Pesach and hand them out to
21
all the pakidim(clerks). They all know me by my name. Do you think that I
leave empty handed from my encounters?
Keep in mind also that these very pakidim (clerks) are the people who
actually run the country. No one should ever tell me that it’s the
“minahalim” or “mancalim” (CEO’s) who call the shots. It’s their
secretaries and office managers who can get anything done quickly and
efficiently. Never forget this principle and you are sure to do well.
Let me give you a classic example of utilizing my methods from my own
personal treasure trove. I had to get a permit extended and at the time, the
office was located in the old Beer-Sheva courthouse. I arrived ten minutes
after they had closed, and the guard was adamant about not letting me in the
main door. I started a conversation with him, and after a while, he made the
“fatal” mistake of saying to me “even if I were to let you enter, the pakida in
the office you need would never agree to see you”. He was quite a large
individual, so I made him the following offer. “Let me in the front door, and
if I don’t succeed in getting into her office and accomplishing what I need to
do, then I will treat you to lunch-buffet style, all you can eat”. (I was
definitely taking a chance here, as this guy was obviously no stranger to
food!). I also told him that if I did succeed, he owed me nothing but a
handshake.
His curiosity got the better of him (as I knew quite well that it would) and
I now find myself at her front door. I knock quietly, and very gingerly open
the door. She is talking on the phone and waves me away with an obvious
hand motion. Do you know with whom she would be talking on the phone?
To her boyfriend, girlfriend or any non-work related person, of course. I
pretend not to notice, and just stand there trying to look as innocent as
possible. It takes a few minutes, but I eventually hear her whisper into the
phone “something’s going on here-I’ll have to call you back”. She starts
immediately explaining to me that they are closed and that I would have to
come back another time.
Remember how I explained previously how being an Oleh and speaking
Hebrew with an accent has its advantages? So, I answered her in my worst
possible Hebrew, making sure to both speak in the feminine tense every so
often and totally exaggerate my accent. She took the bait, and of course,
took pity on me and solved my problem. Then, as we began to converse
about all sorts of things, she asked me if I had encountered any other
22
problems of this nature. Indeed I had, and within minutes, she called a
friend who worked in the car licensing department and solved that problem
right there and then over the phone. If this wasn’t enough, she saw that I
had no wedding band on, and yes, you got it. She gave me the number of
one of her friends to call. I did, and we actually had an enjoyable date!
I bid her farewell, and returned to the guard. He couldn’t believe that I
had managed to get my business accomplished, and was upset that he had
lost his free meal. We shook hands, his last words were “Kol hakavod”
(more power to you) and off I went.
All is fair in love and war. Beating bureaucracy is the name of the
game and makes the entire klitah (absorption) process much easier. Native
born Israeli’s (sabras) have the advantage of a lifetime worth of survival
skills, and know how to beat the system to get what they want. They have
“Proteksia” (knowing all the right people or knowing someone else who
knows the right people), and use it at will. With the exception of possibly
relatives or friends who have been here for years, we generally don’t have
these connections.
We do employ the concept of “networking”, which is the slow and
gradual process of building up relationships. In time, we will also have as
many connections as everyone else and should of course, use them to our
advantage.
We should therefore be able to use any and all means at our disposal in
order to survive. The ability to “act” is a positive attribute to possess,
certainly well worth the time it takes to learn. Using our Hebrew language
“skills”, or lack of them, our accents, a good sense of humor, the ability to
have one’s eyes well up and tear almost always works in this country. In
short, we do what we have to do to survive.
Lastly, when life simply gets you down and you feel that you can’t take it
anymore, I suggest taking a time-out. It doesn’t matter if you are a student
or if you are working in a job. Take the day off. Yes, I am suggesting that
you “play hooky” for the day. Go enjoy yourself and do anything that totally
relaxes you. The Dead Sea is great for this, as are most desert hikes and
other one day tiyulim (hikes). Shopping also seems to be beneficial in this
respect. Don’t be embarrassed to do this, although it should obviously be
done sparingly. The point is that sometimes, we just need to pamper
23
ourselves a bit in order to keep on track. It’s fun and not the end of the
world either. The results usually speak for themselves, and we end up being
ten times more productive and sane than we were before. Remember-a
happy camper is a satisfied and successful camper.
Chapter Five-How To find A Job
Finding employment in Israel isn’t all that different than finding it
anywhere else in the world. You need to have a single-minded
determination to succeed and absolutely refuse to accept defeat in your
mission. It is my belief that if a person really wants to work, then they will.
Let’s discuss some key factors in job hunting in Israel.
The first step in this search is to prepare your resume. It should be
typewritten (word processed) in both English and Hebrew. It needs to have
a professional air to it. It is relatively simple and inexpensive to have it
prepared in Hebrew (and/or even in English) by a reliable translating firm.
It should usually be accompanied by a brief cover letter in which you “sell
yourself” to the potential employer. You must be able to clearly and
precisely articulate you skills and accomplishments so as to get that initial
interview opportunity.
It should be up to date, with your phone numbers (home and cell), home
address (in Israel), and E-mail address. It should list your previous
employment history, beginning with the most recent, which includes a short
synopsis of your work load and responsibilities. It should also list your
educational level, again beginning with your most recent degree. Lastly, it
needs to list references. People who know you, both personally and
professionally whom you can trust to give you a positive and glowing report.
They should be people with a title of some sort, who will be able to
comment upon your character, competence, job performance, personal
stability, specific talents and attributes.
The next step is doing your research and making the initial contacts in
order to be able to circulate your resume to prospective employers. You
need to read the want ads in all the newspapers (they are not always the
same) in both the English publications and especially in the Hebrew press. If
you need help with this, then get it, and get it quickly. The want ads are
usually in Tuesday and Friday’s papers. All ads that are relevant should be
24
immediately answered with the resume and cover letter that you have
already prepared. If you do not receive a response within a reasonable time
period, then follow up with a phone call. Continue until you receive the
answer that you are looking for.
Pay attention to all forms of the media, where jobs may be advertised.
This includes newspapers, television, radio, and internet. Additionally,
watch out for any possibilities for potential employment, such as a new
factory or school opening in your area, or a new government or privately
funded project that may need employees.
Begin the networking process that was discussed previously. Join a
professional organization and attend meetings, conferences and seminars.
Speak with the people who attend and ask them if they know of any
opportunities, or have any suggestions. Circulate your resume and business
card (this is another way to publicize yourself, and they are inexpensive to
make) freely. Read the professional journals, magazines or newsletters and
learn from them. Consult the yellow pages or any professional and business
directories available in your field. Utilize employment agencies, both
government and private sector (hevrat koach adam). Utilize the AACI’s
(Association of Americans and Canadians in Israel) employment service, as
well as their website. Take advantage of the “Merkaz Meida” (information
center) of Merkaz Hamagshimim (Young Judaea’s Absorption and
Community Center for young adults).
Attend job fairs. They are held periodically throughout the country, you
should be going to them all. A successful job hunt involves flexibility and
this may very well demand physical relocation. If the job is promising
enough, then this should certainly be seriously considered.
Get yourself out there and be both seen and heard. Tell everyone that
you meet that you are looking for a job. You never know where and when
an opportunity may arise. I know of someone who found a lead while riding
in a sherut (shared taxi service) going to the Dead Sea. It eventually panned
out and this person did indeed start working for that particular company.
What about other North Americans who are employed in your field?
Through the AACI, or through the program/Ulpan that you may be currently
attending, there will be lists of people who did find jobs. Talk to them and
listen to what they might have to say. Ask for any and all tips that might be
useful.
25
Do you have any access to “protekzia” (connections) either directly or
indirectly? Maybe your adopted family or an army buddy or the neighbor
has an “in” somewhere. It never hurts to ask.
You can always take on temporary work assignments or volunteer work
related to your profession in order to refresh your skills and gain recent
experience. Anything that gets you in the front door so that you have the
opportunity to prove yourself is well worth attempting.
Flexibility is probably the key element in this endeavor. If you are
offered a great once in a lifetime opportunity in Jerusalem, but only want to
live in Tel-Aviv, then shouldn’t you think about maybe living somewhere
between the two cities? For instance, in Modiin? Or maybe the problem
could be solved by commuting. Compromise is the name of the game.
You’re told that your Hebrew just isn’t good enough. Do whatever it
takes to improve it to the point that it is acceptable to the employer.
Is it possible that you could turn your hobby into a job? Many Olim have
done so and have succeeded in this. Is there something you love and have
always wanted to do? Maybe this is the perfect opportunity to try it out.
Combining hobbies with super initiative can prove to be most rewarding.
Consider the following example. A student of mine (Albert Tannenbaumwho later became a good friend) from the years I worked at WUJS (World
Union of Jewish Students) Arad, had planned on living on kibbutz when the
program ended. At the time, he noticed that there were almost no tennis
courts in the city and certainly very few players. He himself was a
competent tennis player, but had minimum experience at the time in the
coaching of tennis. But he did have a dream, and that was to see tennis
flourish in the desert. He approached the mayor of the city, the director of
Sherut La’am (a Jewish Agency sponsored volunteer program), and the
Israel Tennis Center in Ramat Hasharon. He offered to set up a complete
tennis program and work as a volunteer for the first 6 months. He suggested
that if he succeeded, they would then discuss the future. Not only did he
succeed, but he managed to involve thousands of children in the program,
with several eventually reaching very respectful heights. He was, of course,
given a permanent job by the Israel Tennis Center, land by the city of Arad
for the centers construction, and ended up by finding a donor in the States
26
who even built a beautiful and impressive tennis center to accommodate the
new courts that he had built. Needless to say, he succeeded in literally
creating a mountain out of a molehill. He held this job for over 20 years
until recently retiring. It took some good old American initiative coupled
with Israeli hutzpah. It’s an excellent example of what can be accomplished
when one has a dream and follows it through to the end. And in Israel, these
types of initiatives are always greatly appreciated.
So, now you finally have an interview. Dress appropriately. For 99% of
the jobs in Israel, casual (but elegant) attire is proper. Do not overdress.
There is rarely a need for a tie and jacket. Remember where you are. Come
prepared. Learn as much about the prospective employer as possible before
you arrive for the interview. You can do this by asking employees of the
company or even by use of the internet. Learn what their needs are now and
in the future. How can you help them attain these goals?
Prepare for the questions that you will most likely be asked. The
following represent a fair sample of possibilities. They are taken primarily
from the AACI’s (Association of Americans and Canadians in Israel) files.
1) “Tell me about yourself”. This is an opportunity for you to emphasize
your ability to meet the job demands. You should present your skills,
assets, qualifications, work record, or anything else that you want the
interviewer to know about you. This is meant to deal with your
professional life and not your personal one.
2) “What are your major strengths? Your accomplishments?” Why should
I hire you for the job? Focus on your skills, and use words such as
dependable, self-starter, serious work ethic, and loyal.
3) “What are your major weaknesses?” It is very important to list
weaknesses which are really disguised assets. Example: I work too hard,
sometimes loosing track of time, and end up staying very late in the office.
1) ”What interests you in this job? Why did you choose this company &/or
this particular field?” Having previously researched the position, and in
gleaning any information directly at the place of employment or even
during this interview itself, you should be prepared to answer
intelligently.
27
2) “How is your past experience applicable to this job?” Indicate your
previous responsibilities and future aspirations. Be specific and focus on
experiences that are relevant to this job. You wish to leave the
impression that you are suitable for the job. If you are a recent graduate
with no experience, discuss your college courses and any internship that
you did. Focus on characteristics such as readiness to learn, flexibility
and enthusiasm.
3) “Why did you leave your past job?” Be honest, and do not disparage past
employers. You may state things such as difference of opinion or
inability to rise up the corporate ladder. Stress that you learned a lot that
can be put to good use on this job.
4) “What are your career goals? Where do you see yourself five or ten
years from now?” Answer in generalities, indicating your readiness to
invest the time and energy in your new career and advancement (the rise
up that corporate ladder).
5) “What are your outside interests or hobbies?” Focus on a hobby/interest
that emphasizes a specific ability that may relate to your skills or civic
involvement. Do not mention specific political viewpoints or allow
yourself to be dragged into a political discussion. An exception to this
may be if you know for 100% sure your interviewers position, and if he
brings it up and if you happen to agree with him. Would your
hobbies/outside activities prevent you from investing your full efforts
into this job? If so, then don’t bring them up at all.
6)
“Do you have any questions?’ – This is now the opportunity to fill in all
the gaps about job information that you still don’t possess. It is also the
appropriate time to get into the specific job conditions and benefits. You
should ask about the salary, but it would be best if the employer were to
make his offer first (there is always flexibility and room for discussion
here and there are many factors that go into this in Israel such as vetek
(previous years of employment), previous salary, darga (level), years in
the army, etc). Additionally, you should discuss darga advancement
possibilities, keren hishtalmut (savings plans), kupat gemel (long-term
savings/retirement plans), pension rights, kviut (tenure) possibilities,
achzakat rechev (car allowance), or travel allowance. Additionally, you
should discuss the hours of the job, overtime possibilities (although many
jobs have a globali (general) figure that is included in the salary and
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expected of you. Is there a signed contract and a trial period? These are
all serious elements that must be discussed in advance so that you are
both satisfied and on the same page. It is far better to solve potential
problems in advance of the fact and not after.
It is also acceptable in Israel to send a job applicant for psychometric
testing. These may easily take an entire day and are generally performed by
an outside agency. Different jobs require slightly different testing
procedures as they are primarily looking for both the candidate’s general
level of normality and also for warning signs that a person may not be
suitable for the task at hand. They include many sections, including logic
and math. They will most probably also include a handwriting analysis. In
order to be accurate, this must be done in the person’s native language.
Should you discover during the interview that the job is not right for you,
or maybe a suitable position doesn’t exist, ask the interviewer if he/she can
recommend any other potential employer that you could turn to. I even
know of an Oleh who went one step further and asked for a letter of referral.
Believe it or not, he got it!
The moral of this chapter is that if you want a job, and refuse to take no
for an answer, then you will get a job!
Chapter Six-The Army
When an American Jew finishes High School, it is usually understood that
he/she will be going to college. In Israel, after High School, it’s generally
straight to the army. One might even say that this is an Israeli’s “higher
education” and what makes him/her an integral part of Israeli society. It also
transforms them into becoming responsible adults in a very short time
period. While the youth of other countries are out “partying”, an Israeli is
putting his life on the line in order to defend his/her country. A 19 or 20 year
old Israeli could already be a pilot and responsible for a jet plane worth tens
of millions of dollars. Or he could be a commander responsible for
hundreds or even thousands of lives. It is the rite of passage for Israelis, and
will have a direct influence on everything in his life, from jobs to life
partners, etc.
For Olim, it is a slightly more complicated picture. Olim arrive in the
country at all different ages and stations in life. For a variety of reasons, not
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every Oleh needs to serve in the army. They will still be able to survive very
well and integrate into society. The army itself has strict guidelines that
determine the necessity of service, as well as its length. As a rule, they have
been shortening the time period over the past decade for both male and
female Olim. It is best to consult your Aliyah shaliach who will be able to
provide you with the most updated versions of the law (or for information
and details about army service click here
http://www.jewishagency.org/JewishAgency/English/Aliyah/Aliyah+Info/Al
iyah+Information/
My personal view is that the shortening of one’s service is actually a
disservice of sorts to us, as the act of serving in the army is so central to life
here. I strongly believe that if at all possible, one should do everything in
one’s power to serve, just like everyone else. At times this might require a
fight, as crazy as this may sound. But if you are firm enough in your beliefs,
then the odds are that you will succeed.
I’ll give one example. I had a WUJS student, a woman, who was a year
or two older than the maximum required age yet wanted in any event to
serve. The original answer from the army was a big “no”, but she persisted,
and together with me, went to the lishkat giyus (army induction center) in
Beer-Sheva and simply refused to leave until she got a date to go in.
Needless to say, we did get the date and she did indeed serve. I heard from
her about a year into her service and she told me a most interesting story. It
bears serious consideration because it carries with it a serious moral. In the
army, and in Israel, if you want something strongly enough, then fight for it,
be creative and don’t settle for anything short of success.
She was in the tank corps, on a rather large base, and was a pakida
(clerk). It is important to note that many women are given these jobs in the
army, but those that persist and want to do other things may certainly do so.
It is also important to realize that in today’s army, women are provided with
wide ranging options to do basically the same tafkidim (jobs) as men. She
decided that she wanted to be in communications, and at that time, and on
that particular base, it was a position closed to women. She had made a
formal request to her base commander, and was denied. So, she befriended
the guys who handled the communications room, and secretly learned how
to do everything that they did.
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Sure enough, the day came when there was a huge targil (exercise).
Many high-ranking officers were present. She waited until the proper
moment, and then arranged for one of these guys to pretend to be sick. He
did, and before anyone could say a word, she grabbed the headphones and
took over full responsibility for the targil. Her base commander was in
shock, but he quickly saw that she was fully capable of handling the
situation, smiled and of course, gave her the position permanently. In the
army in particular, and in Israel in general, personal initiative is valued very
highly. She was proud of how she solved her problem, and I was elated that
one of my tips (from a lecture) worked out so well.
Many Olim are concerned about the physical and psychological aspects
of serving in the army. After all, aren’t all Israeli soldiers Rambos? Can’t
they single handedly take on the entire might of the Arab armies? Let’s
investigate this myth.
First of all, keep in mind that Israeli’s are eighteen years old when they
enlist. Think back to when you were that age. Let’s face it. The odds are
pretty strong that you weren’t in the best physical shape that you could be.
Well, this is exactly the point. Neither are they. The philosophy in the
Israeli army is that one enlists as a weak and undisciplined civilian and
comes out, two to three years later, as a strong and disciplined soldier. The
army does not believe in the American “Marines” policy of breaking you
down and only then building you up. Zahal (Israel Defence Forces) believes
in doing this gradually. You start out slowly and systematically work up to
serious accomplishments. It’s a method that is time tested and has proven to
be extremely successful. If, in any event, you are still really worried about
your physical readiness, then I suggest that you take the time before you go
in to get into better shape. It’s a great excuse to work out, lose weight and
feel good.
Next, keep in mind that many Olim go into the army at a slightly older
age than the average Israeli, and may even be in better physical shape. In
my opinion, Olim are absolutely in superior mental or psychological
condition when they go in. Why? Israelis have to go into the army right
after high school, and have little choice in the matter. Olim from Western
countries come on Aliyah of their own free will and know exactly why they
are here and why they are in the army. It makes a world of a difference.
This difference makes it easier to serve from a psychological viewpoint. If
you know why you are doing something, then the actual act has purpose and
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makes sense. A strong sense of Zionism certainly plays an important role
here. Many Israeli’s do understand, but others may not and have trouble
comprehending the full reasoning behind their mandatory service. Their
lives have been mapped out for them from an early age. This is a major
difference that happens to work in our favor.
The fact that we have this psychological edge needs to be taken
advantage of. There are many circumstances that arise that we manage to
get through simply by utilizing this fact. I once did an entire “masa alunka”
(stretcher carrying exercise) by being mentally very far away. I was so
deeply engrossed in my thoughts that I did not suffer in any way. It even
got to the point that they brought over a medic and wanted to put me on the
stretcher (I was smiling and laughing and they thought that I had gone off
the deep end!), but I refused. I later attempted to explain how to utilize the
principle of mind over matter, but wasn’t very successful. Some stories that
follow will illustrate this point. Keep them in mind and improvise your own
when the situation arises.
You may also have a certain profession that is desirable to the army, and
may be offered the opportunity to serve within this framework. Or you may
simply want to get into a particular unit that my help you in later life within
your given field or profession. Additionally, at any time during your
service, the army may approach you with all types of “interesting” offers.
Consider them carefully. You never know to where they will lead you later
on down the line.
The process for an Oleh going into the army usually takes between six
months to a year or more. There will be three visits to the lishkat giyus
(induction center), with the third one being the actual giyus (induction).
There are many tests conducted on the potential inductee, as the army wishes
to be reasonably certain that the person is fit enough to be a soldier. The
army obviously wants to know what physical problems that you have (and
have no way of seeing your past medical history), and it makes sense to tell
them.
The first stop after actually enlisting is called bakum (basis klitah ve
miyun-base for absorption and screening). Here one receives “disketim”
(dogtags), shots (two big multi needle guns that are given in each arm),
uniforms, and a mispar ishi (personal identification number). You’ll come
to know this number better than your own name as this is the way you will
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be addressed for your entire stay there. It is also the place where your
placement in the army is determined, and this is a very important matter.
One of my stories:
I stood before three officers and was informed that I had the body type
for artillery and was being put in that corps. I laughed and informed them
that I had coincidentally studied Sheldon’s body types in college, and there
was most assuredly no such thing. I had wanted to be in infantry and even
showed them a picture of a family member (!?!) parachuting during World
War Two (I had taken it from an old “Time” magazine), but it didn’t help at
all. They stamped my file, and my last departing words were “I’ll be in an
infantry unit, no matter what you say”. The head officer just laughed and
said “sure”.
So, how does one go about changing an “irreversible” decision”?
I snuck away from lunch one day (no great loss, believe me!) and went
straight to the paratroopers building. I found the guy with what I thought
was the highest rank (he was probably a private, but what did I know?) and
told him that I wanted to be a paratrooper. I added that the people who
interviewed me and determined that I was going to artillery said that the
paratroopers were in reality all wusses and their reputation was blown way
out of proportion, but I didn’t believe them. He reacted exactly as I had
expected, and took me under his wing. He went over to where my file was
being held, and immediately had it pulled.
I managed to pass all the tests, both physical and mental. There was
actually a cute little gimmick with the physical one. We were running
around a test track, with numbers pinned on our shirts and with the officers
running alongside us and checking how we were doing. In the Israeli army,
it’s “kadima ahar’ei” (follow me), and every so often we would have to drop
and do push-ups, etc. When we got to the end and were resting, we were
told that we would be doing this entire “maslool” (track) again, and some of
the guys starting to complain. I understood what was going on, so I calmly
stood up and said “ya’ala” (let’s get going), with a big smile on my face.
Needless to say, it was just a test and the guys who complained didn’t make
it in.
During the interview part of the process, as I entered the room and was
approaching the officer, he asked me why I hadn’t closed the door. I smiled
and without looking back, informed him that I had indeed done so. He had
also asked me what time it was, and repeated the same question about three
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minutes later. Again, without looking at my watch, I simply answered
“about three minutes later than the last time you asked”. I passed the
psychological part without problems. I had actually prepared myself
mentally for this interview, and was ready for just about anything that could
be thrown in my direction. It is a good idea to prepare oneself mentally
before going into any type of interview, especially job related ones.
Anyway….as the paratroopers are an elite volunteer unit, they wanted me
to show my commitment and already sign on for an extra year. At this stage
in my life, I just wasn’t ready for this, so I declined. The officer (the
original one that I had started with) told me that he liked me and offered to
fix me up with any other unit that I wanted. I chose Hermesh (armoured
infantry), and sure enough, he did arrange for me to go in. The moral of this
story, is that you should decide your own fate and stop at nothing until you
get it.
Formations in the army are done in “shloshot” (three lines). It is always
best to stand in the third row, in the middle and behind a big guy.
“Volunteers” for various fun little jobs are usually selected from the first
row or from the sides. If I was in a particularly feisty mood or if I simply
needed a little psychological edge, I might do something like answer a
barked out order with “ken hamefahed” (yes, oh cowardly one) instead of
“ken hamefaked” (yes, sir). They sound very similar in Hebrew and the
difference is really only one letter. It is crucial to remember to keep a very
straight face, as getting caught outright would not be in one’s best interest.
Keep in mind that the soldiers would be enjoying this immensely. I used
these little jests in the beginning to actually make friends.
There is one important thing to take into consideration if you plan on
sometimes taking a wise guy attitude. That is, you will occasionally get
caught and should accept the consequences of your actions without question.
Luckily for me, I only got caught once!
I was walking along with the only other American Oleh on the entire
base, when an officer came up to us and said “chayal, atah mechukmak”
(soldier, you’re slovenly dressed). I winked at my friend and we pretended
not to be able to speak very good Hebrew. We were having a grand old time
playing around until he stopped us, and proceeded to harangue us in proper
Queens English. As it turned out, he was actually a nephew of Helena
Rubinstein, and ended up giving us kitchen duty punishment. As fate would
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have it, though, our unit had a hike of 15 kilometers at the same time, so we
lucked out in not having to do it. We also got to eat tons of food, which, at
the time, was quite a treat. The moral of this story is that even when you get
caught and have to pay the price, it could actually end up working in your
favor.
After approximately 11 months in the army, and much intensive
training, we were now certified as fully qualified combat soldiers. I decided
that I needed a little rest and figured out a plan for getting it. I had heard
about an army Ulpan in Haifa, and went to my commanding officer and
complained that my Hebrew wasn’t all that good and that I wasn’t able to
understand a great deal of what was being said. He laughed and said that my
Hebrew was fluent (which in all honesty by this point it was). I discovered
that there was a guy on the base who determined, among other things, who
got to go to the course that I had wanted. So, I started to sit next to him
every day at lunch and as he was a rather large guy, offered him parts of my
meal as “I wasn’t very hungry”. Of course, we became fast friends. And he
did arrange the Ulpan for me. When summoned into my officer’s office and
presented with the “tzav” (order), he wanted to know how I had managed to
pull this off. I played dumb, and he promised to figure out how I had done it
and then get back at me. I wished him well. The beauty of the story is that
despite his attempts to solve the puzzle, he never did manage to do so. He
actually reminded me about it at the end of my sherut (service), but I only
smiled.
The joke sort of ended up being on me, as I was sent to the first Ulpan
course that was held in the Sinai, not all that far from my own base. Even
the “tiyul” (trip) was in the Sinai. I did have a great time though, and the
“R&R” (rest and relaxation) was exactly what I had needed at the time.
This next story is from “Miluim” (reserves). My first wife had just
finished her 9th month of pregnancy. I had spent the entire month in a
fortified bunker, exactly at the junction of the border with Syria and Jordan.
It was a very difficult month. We finished, and then were notified that we
were being given a “tzav 8” (emergency order) to do another week of
training. I put in a request to speak with my “Maggad” (Battalion
Commander) and was denied. He arrived later that day in his jeep and as he
was about to leave, I stood in front of it and didn’t allow him to move. He
revved up his engine as if he would run me over, but I just smiled and
35
wouldn’t budge. I told him that my wife was about to give birth and that we
live all alone in Arad, but he was adamant in his negative response.
I asked him what kind of soldier and commander that I was, and he said
“exemplary”. He also admitted that I was one of the best-trained soldiers in
this particular Miluim unit. Yet he still wouldn’t budge. So, I informed him
that I was leaving, threw my gun into his jeep, and said goodbye. He
threatened me with army jail, and I responded that this was his right to do
so, but then he would lose a good soldier. (By the way, Moshe Dayan once
said that a soldier only really becomes a good soldier after he does some
time in the brink!). He even tried to hit me with Zionism, but considering
that he had his entire family living very close to him and I had made Aliyah
alone, this argument fell on deaf ears. As I was walking away he told me
that he didn’t think that I had the gumption to actually go through with it,
and proceeded to give me my freedom. My beautiful daughter Yael was
indeed born that very night. I still don’t know how I knew, but I did.
One year passed, and we had just arrived to our base for training. He
comes straight over to me, bypassing all of his officers, and asks me “What
was born and exactly when?” I answered and then responded “Now what do
you have to say?” He yells out “mazal tov” and walks briskly away.
When you believe in something strongly enough, army or not, you must
follow through with it. In the end, you will actually get respect for standing
up for yourself. It’s really what Israel and the army is all about.
To summarize service in the army, it is mainly a matter of getting into the
proper frame of mind and developing the ability to cope with new and
strange situations. It is most important to remember that as in Israel, “no”
means “maybe” and “maybe” means “yes”. If you want something
particular in the Army strongly enough, you must be steadfast in your desire
to obtain it and not rest until you do. You most assuredly have a major say
in the direction that your life will be taking, but it is incumbent upon you to
help make it happen. The clear majority of things are within your grasp.
Always shoot for the stars.
Chapter Seven-Does Zionism End On The Day We Make Aliyah?
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Does Zionism end on the day we make Aliyah? Are our obligations to
Israel and Judaism fulfilled, or are they just beginning?
If Israel were perfect in every way, we would be able to afford ourselves
the luxury of sitting back in our armchairs and enjoying the “good” life, safe
and secure in the knowledge that everything is as we would want and expect
it to be. And let’s face it, as Olim from North America, we have great
expectations of what our “land of milk and honey” should be, and how our
homeland should serve as a guiding light for all nations.
Yet we slowly but surely come to the conclusion that, as wonderful and
fulfilling as Israel is, there are some aspects of daily life that we may not
agree with, or even like. This could run the gamut from sneaking in on lines
with the often heard words, “but I was here before and had my place saved”
to our coalition form of government, or to Israeli politics in general, for that
matter. It could refer to the constant and never ending battle with people
who violate the law and still smoke in public places, or to any number of
other examples.
I contend that it is our right and our duty as North American Olim to help
“change the system” and improve, wherever necessary, the quality of life in
Israel. We must help infuse the positive ideals of our Western backgrounds
into Israeli culture; not with an ethnocentric holier-than-thou approach, but
with a spirit of togetherness, of oneness. We must always strive to set
personal examples in what we do, be it in work ethics, or moral codes.
Each and every one of us must stand up and make him/herself heard.
We must take active roles and get involved in all aspects of society. This
covers our educational system, civil guard, quality of life issues, and
preservation of democratic ideals, fighting bureaucracy, religious issues,
pluralism, politics, army, and the continuing fight to obtain freedom for our
brethren around the world. Once they are here, we must then do all in our
power to help solve their housing, employment, and other “klitah”
(absorption) problems.
Most of us lead reasonably simple and average lives in Israel. We rarely
attain high government positions such as that previously held by Moshe
Arens (Defense Minister), Supreme Court Justice Agranat, or Golda Meir
(Prime Minister). Yet we most certainly do not need to attain such rank and
37
prominence in order to help influence society and foster much needed
changes in the system. For this is one of the great advantages of living in
Israel. We are the captains of our own ship, and masters of our own
destinies. With this direct control of our own fate, we are responsible not
only for our own survival, but for the entire direction of the future of our
country and our people. For it is only here in Israel that we both personally
and collectively have this opportunity. We can not, and indeed must not, let
this historic opportunity pass. And we must be here, in Israel, in order to do
it.
We must get involved. We can make a change. We do make a
difference.
Summary
1)
Aliyah should be seen in a positive light. After all, it’s a wonderful
thing that we’ve done for our people, our country, and ourselves. We
need to de-emphasize the little things and concentrate on the larger
picture. Israel needs to be judged on its own merits and not compared
to the countries and cultures from which we came. We need to seek
out other like-minded positive people, and avoid at all costs negative
or demoralized ones. It is true that many Olim from North America
don’t stay and end up returning “home”. It is the purpose of this guide
to help you overcome life’s little diversities and be a successful
member of Israel’s society.
2)
Humor, optimism, improvisation and savlanut (patience) are
absolutely necessary if one wishes to do well in Israel.
3) It is important to understand the reality of life in Israel, and develop a
realistic attitude towards life here and of what you can accomplish. It
is the “land of milk and honey”, but this doesn’t mean that everything
will always be sweet. Life sometimes involves bitterness also. After
all, Israel is a country resembling other modern day ones of our time.
Yet while we may find just about anything and everything that one
would find in America, for example, we also find it “Middle East”
style. The community or family connotations of life in Israel are a
very special part and parcel of life here, and help make it a very
unique place for a Jew to live. I believe it to be the only place for a
Jew to live.
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4) Aliyah needs to be seen as a package deal. There are good things and
there are bad things. It is necessary to put each on a scale and see
which way it tips. Overall, the good and positive things vastly
outweigh the negative and bad things. Always keep this in mind.
5) It is important to make an all out effort and commitment to success. It
is unreasonable to expect to find a great job, for example, if your
status is still tourist, or tourist with work visa. It is difficult, although
not impossible, to be fully integrated and accepted into Israeli society
if you haven’t done the army. This does not apply to everyone
equally, as army service takes into account many factors such as age,
sex and previous army time served. There are many other ways to
serve one’s country that would also provide excellent inroads towards
social integration. Examples of these are “Mishmar Ezrahi” (civil
guard), “Marva” (Jewish Agency sponsored military style program),
“Magan David Adom”, Kibbutz Ulpan, Sherut La’am, Stagerim, as
well as many other Jewish Agency sponsored programs. One could
also exist in Israel without a fluent level of Hebrew, but would just be
missing out on too much of what goes on around them.
6) You should never give up without a fight. Anything worth having or
doing is worth fighting for. Of course, one should choose one’s
battles. In Israel, “no” means “maybe” and “maybe” means “yes”.
And most things in life don’t come easy. Once there was a poster for
the Aliyah Department that said “We never promised you a rose
garden”. Sometimes, there are thorns on the roses, but the thorns
aside, it is imperative to take the time to smell the roses underneath.
7)
If you find that things are getting to you. Take a hafsaka (break) and
relax. A day of hofesh (vacation) every now and then won’t hurt
anyone and will leave you relaxed and ready to face the world again.
8) Keep in mind that there are ten of thousands of North American Olim
who have taken the same step as you have and have done remarkably well
here. If all of us could do it, then you certainly can also.
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About the author:
Rafi Freeman was born and raised in Yonkers, New York, in a warm,
loving Conservative home, and armed with a B.A. in Psychology from
American University in Washington, D.C., Rafi made Aliyah to Israel in
1974. He attended the WUJS Institute (World Union of Jewish Students) in
Arad. He then performed his Sherut Sadir (Regular Army Service) in
Hermesh (Armored Infantry). After completing his service, he returned to
WUJS as a Madrich (Counselor) and in charge of Public Relations. Six and
a half years later, he became the Director of the AACI (Association of
Americans and Canadians in Israel) for the Southern (Negev) Region, where
he worked for twelve years. He then served for eight years as the Director
of Administration for the Alon Junior High School in Arad. Following this
period, he was employed by the Jewish Agency as the Central Shaliach
(emissary) for Young Judaea in the United States, where he went with his
wife Cheryl (an Australian Olah) and their two children, Uri and Liat (his
third child, Yael, lives in Tel-Aviv). Having finished serving as a Shaliach,
Rafi and his family are now resettling back in Israel.
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