Document 6513689

HOW TO EAT LIKE A CHILD
44
LESSON #20
BRANDON removes previous title card to reveal "How to Act
After Being Sent to your Room." He exits.
Lights up C.S., whichsuggestsa girl'sbedroom. RA CHEL storms
on stage in a fury.
[MUSIC NO. 10: "SAYONARA"]
(NOTE: This song has a large repertoire of moods-fury, deter­
mination, stoicism, pathos and simple relief. In casting the
role, look for someone with a natural tendency toward the
over-dramatic. Think of it as an operatic aria.)
RACHEL.
I HATE THEM.
(She stamps her foot.)
I HATE THEM.
(She smashes her pillow.)
I HATE THEM, I HATE THEM, I HATE THEM.
(She throws herself down on her bed.)
OKAY, I CUT MY BROTHER'S HAIR ...
SHORT
.
VERY
.
FOR THAT THEY THROW ME INTO SOLITARY,
WITH NOTHING UP HERE BUT MY PRIVATE STER-E­
-0 MEDIA CENTER TO KEEP ME DISTRACTED.
WELL, I THINK THEY OVER-REACTED.
(She stands. )
WHERE IS JUSTICE?
WHERE IS FAIR PLAY?
WHERE IS MY SUITCASE?
I'M RUNNING AWAY TONIGHT.
(She gets out a small suitcase and starts to pack her dolls. )
SINCE NOBODY LOVES ME
I'LL QUIETLY DROP OUT OF SIGHT.
HOW TO EAT LIKE A CHILD
45
(pretending to write a note)
DEAR PARENTS, I WON'T SEE YOU ANYMORE.
I TRIED FOR TEN YEARS BUT YOU WRECKED IT.
JUST LEAVE MY ALLOWANCE OUTSIDE THE DOOR.
AND FOUR TIMES A YEAR I'LL COME BY
LATE AT NIGHT TO COLLECT IT .
SAYONARA!
GOOD-BYE FOR GOOD!
DON'T FEEL GUILTY,
(accusingly)
EVEN THOUGH YOU SHOULD.
(with great sadness)
TELL GRANDMA TO THINK OF ME NOW AND THEN.
TELL GIRL SCOUTS THAT I'VE RELOCATED.
TELL JUNIOR HIS HAIR WILL GROW OUT AGAIN.
(suddenly furious again)
I STILL THINK THAT HAIRDO'S
THE BEST ONE I EVER CREATED.
SAYONARA!
THIS IS NO BLUFF!
GOOD-BYE FOREVER!
BILLY. (off-stage as "the father") Come on down for dinner,
dear.
RACHEL. (spoken) Thank goodness. (sung)
I'VE SUFFERED ENOUGH!
(Black out.)
LESSON #21
REBECCA removes previous title card to reveal "How to Watch
More Television." She exits.
DARIEN is D.R.
DARIEN. Please, Mom, please. Just this once. I'll only ask
once. I promise, if you let me watch this show, I'll go to bed the
second it's over. I won't complain. I won't ask for a drink of