Office Echoes 2013 - Disability Connect

WEST LINKS FAMILY SERVICES
supporting families with invisible disabilities: e.g. AD/HD, Aspergers, ASD, ODD, CD
Office Echoes 2013
Issue 25
November 2013
In this issue :
Pg
Hi everyone,
Thanks to our Funders 1
We’re kicking off this months newsletter with a list of celebrities on
News from the Desk 2 the autism spectrum, the list is very interesting and you might find
Celebrities & Autism 3-7 some are quite surprising.
Common Traits in
Autism
Blind Rage
811
12-7
Women’s Centre
18
The Ultimate Networking
Experience
19
Included in this issue is a checklist of Common Traits in Autism,
remember though that not every trait is evident in every person on
the spectrum. Depending on which end of the spectrum you or your
loved ones may be, they may have only a few or they may have
many of the traits. Additionally, we take a look at the term “Blind
Rage” - what it is, who does it apply to, and how can we help a
situation where “blind rage” may occur.
Whanau Marama
We love getting your feedback and are always open to hearing your
20 - suggestions for specific topics you would like us to cover.
Courses
21
Books to Read
22
Support Group details
Spotlight on…
23
Contact Us
24
Map - How to find us 25
If you wish to submit anything personally or have any specific
queries, please don’t hesitate to contact us and explore this further.
Please feel free to ring us at the office: (09) 836-1941 to chat about
how we can help you, preferably before any crises
develop. It’s always easier to find solutions [to problems] before
they become seemingly insurmountable.
Sue & Bev
 Auckland Council
 BP Vouchers for
Volunteers
 NZ POST - Community
Envelopes
 SKY CITY
 COGS Auckland
Manukau &
Waitakere
 MSD - Community
Response Fund
Fund
* RNZAF Community Fund
* The Trust Community
Foundation
To: our
FUNDERS:
Page 2
O f f ice E cho e s 2013
News from the desk…
Quotable
Quotes:
Don’t forget...
The trouble
a kid causes
is never greater
than the pain
s/he feels !
Rick Lavoie
REMEMBER...
A child’s disappointment
over something
we
find trivial,
is just as real as
our
disappointment
over something
they
find trivial.
Our Day Time Support Group meetings are now scheduled for
every last Tuesday of the month at
West Harbour Primary School—on Oreil Ave, West Harbour
from 10:00 am - 12:00 pm
(in the old dental clinic building at the front of school - now
known as The Hub).
Office hours:
The office will be attended daily between 9am - 5pm. However
there may be odd times when we are away.
If you experience this at any time, then please leave us a message
and we will get back to you as soon as we can.
l
Clinica
g
trainin
alone…
’t
doesn
ensure
te
accura n
tio
percep
Websites of interest...
tonyattwood.com.au
(Dr. Tony Attwood)
ADD.org
(info for AD/HD Adults)
Amen Clinic.com
(Dr. Daniel Amen)
Failure is feedback.
Learn from it
and move on...
instead of allowing it
to define or restrict
you
www.westlinksfamilyservices.co.nz
help4adhd.org
(info & resources)
www.sparklebox.co.uk
(resources and printables)
www.youthlaw.co.nz
(legal advice for youth)
parent2parent.org.nz
www.templegrandin.com (information and support)
(Temple Grandin)
Cloud 9 Children’s
ricklavoie.com
Foundation
(Dr. Rick Lavoie)
(Aspergers information)
www.
insomniaspecialist.com/
www.aspergerssociety.org
forms.php
Www.dilemmas.org
www.wotsnormal.com
ParentingAspergers.com
www.cesa7.k12.wi.us/
sped/autism/structure/
str11.htm
Www.autismnz.org.nz
LETS.org
www.calm.auckland.ac.nz
And don’t forget
YOU TUBE !
CHADD.org
www.
yoursleep.aasmnet.org
Page 3
O f f ice E cho e s 2013
Celebrities living with Autism & ADHD
Temple Grandin (Writer) was diagnosed with autism
as a child. Later on, she was diagnosed with
Asperger’s syndrome as an adult.
Temple Grandin
has written several books that I highly suggest you
read.
Daryl Hannah (Actress) was diagnosed as “borderline
autistic” as a child.
She is a famous actress and
activist and has been arrested several times for her
strong beliefs and feelings for the environment.
Courtney Love (musician/singer) was diagnosed as
“mildly autistic” as a child. Love has said that she
“didn’t have a lot of social skills” and that she
learned them while frequenting gay clubs with friends.
She had a rough childhood.
At 14, she was
arrested for shoplifting and went into a juvenile
home. At 16, she became legally emancipated,
moved away and became a stripper.
Dan Aykroyd (Actor) was expelled from two schools
for acting up and a psychiatrist diagnosed him with
a mild Asperger’s syndrome. He also had a few tics
and had shown signs of obsessive compulsive
disorder (OCD).
Celebs with ADHD...
Adam
Ty
Will
Whoopi
Lambert
Pennington
Smith
Goldberg
O f f ice E cho e s 2013
Page 4
Celebrities living with Autism - cont...
James Durbin (Singer) finished 4th on Season 10 of
American Idol. He was diagnosed with Tourette
syndrome and Asperger syndrome shortly after his
father died when he was 9 years old. After Idol, he
appeared in a documentary, Different Is The New
Normal, that focused on a teen’s effort to overcome
Tourette syndrome.
Phillipa Margaret “Pip” Brown - AKA Ladyhawke (NZ
Singer/Songwriter) was diagnosed with Asperger
syndrome when she was young. She believes that the
reason she spent her childhood absorbed in music
was due to this condition.
Adam Young - AKA Owl City (Musician, and Singer/
Songwriter) has mentioned he has Aspeger’s syndrome
and he has often referred to himself as being deeply
shy and socially introverted. He has said, “I’m from
Minnesota, and I have Asperger’s syndrome, so I have
no idea what karaoke is.”
Celebrities With Autistic Children
Sylvester Stallone’s youngest son, Seargeoh, was
diagnosed at age 3. “To have a child in this
predicament is extremely sad,” he told People shortly after
his son was diagnosed in 1985. “It’s almost like a radio
station — he fades on and off of the signal.”
Sly said
he found his own way to bond and communicate with his
son. “You can’t force him into your world. I sort of go
along with whatever he is doing,” he said. “Sometimes he
likes to draw — mostly abstract things — and he has
puzzles that we work on together.
After he gets to the point where he trusts you, a little
more communication can start. The primary therapy is the
repetition of words and instructions. He has shown an
extraordinary memory, but he can’t apply what he has
learned.”
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O f f ice E cho e s 2013
Celebrities living with Autism cont...
Toni Braxton’s son, 8-year-old Diezel, was diagnosed
with autism as a young child.
“As a mom, I knew
something was different about him when he was
probably about 9 months old,” she said. “By the time
he became a year and a half I said, ‘He’s not
developing like his older brother.’ ” Braxton is an
advocate for autism research and is teaming up with
SheKnows on our “Where the Other Sock Went”
campaign for Autism Speaks. “Early diagnosis makes a
lifetime of difference,” Braxton says. “We have him in
occupational therapy, speech therapy, and he’s being
mainstreamed in public school [general education]. He
does have his special ed.
therapies, but we are very,
very lucky.”
Jenny McCarthy’s son Evan, now 9, was diagnosed
with autism at an early age. The actress, who started
Jenny McCarthy’s Autism Organization, said she
thought vaccines were responsible for her son’s
autism, despite research that says otherwise. After
years of treatment, McCarthy says her son has shown
marked improvements. “Evan couldn’t talk — now he
talks. Evan couldn’t make eye contact — now he
makes eye contact. Evan was antisocial — now he
makes friends,” she told Time magazine. “It was
amazing to watch, over the course of doing this, how
certain therapies work for certain kids and they
completely don’t work for others… When something
didn’t work for Evan, I didn’t stop. I stopped that
treatment, but I didn’t stop.” Jenny McCarthy has
written several books and I suggest you read
them! They are funny and it’s a good feeling to see
that she is in the same situation that you are.
John Travolta and Kelly Preston’s son, Jett, had
autism before sadly passing away at the age of
16 after he had a seizure. The couple, who are
Scientologists, didn’t talk about their son’s
condition until he was testifying to a grand jury
after the death of his son and revealed his son
was indeed autistic.
Preston said her son was
“the most wonderful son that two parents could
ever ask for.”
Page 6
O f f ice E cho e s 2013
Celebrities living with Autism - cont...
Holly Robinson Peete had twins in 1997 and one of her
sons, Rodney Jr., was diagnosed with autism when he
was 3 years old.
HollyRod4kids was established in
2000 in response to Rodney Peete and Holly Robinson
Peete’s son’s autism diagnosis. The initiative’s main
mission is helping the families of
children with autism
gain access to affordable treatments and therapies.
Holly along with her daughter Ryan wrote the fictional
children’s book, My Brother Charlie, which centres
around growing up with an autistic twin sibling. It is
slightly based on Ryan Peete’s experience of having an
autistic twin brother.
Aidan Quinn’s daughter is autistic. ”The incidence
of autism has gone up 500 percent since my daughter
was diagnosed,” says the actor, who is involved in
many organizations for autism research. He blames his
daughter’s autism on her MMR vaccine. As he said in
his interview with The Irish Independent, “So we had a
normal child that was walking, talking, doing everything
way faster than she was supposed to. Then, after an
MMR, she got a 106 degree fever and turned blue and
woke up the next day with dark circles and not
knowing who she was and uncoordinated.” His daughter,
Aida, now 19, has autism and is nonverbal.
Boyz II Men band member Shawn Stockman’s son,
Micah, was diagnosed with autism. When they found
out, he founded a charity called Micah’s Voice. The
charity offers financial support to families struggling
with the cost of caring for a child with the disorder.
Page 7
O f f ice E cho e s 2013
Celebrities living with Autism - cont’d...
Actor Joe Mantegna’s daughter, Mia, was
diagnosed with autism. Mia was born after an
emergency C-section performed to save the
child’s life. At birth, she weighed one pound and
13 ounces, and spent her first few months in
intensive care. A few years later, they noticed
that her ability to speak was as limited as her
attention span. After having her evaluated by a
neurologist, they received the diagnosis. Mia has
autism. She is high functioning and well aware of
her condition. She also has a wealth of support
in her family who ensure that she’s involved in
the world as much as possible. Her father’s
career as an actor has played a part in her
development, as well.
Joe Mantegna has
expressed his admiration for organizations like
Autism Speaks. Arlene Mantegna created the
Autism
Families Together Network.
It is a
network that connects you with people that can
help answer your questions that you are
having. It’s a great organization.
Tommy Hilfiger and his wife, Dee also have
autism in their large family. Tommy’s daughter,
Kathleen 17 yrs and Dee’s son, Alex 18 yrs
are both on the autism spectrum. Having children
on the spectrum has prompted Tommy Hilfiger to
become part of the “Learn the Signs”
campaign.
HISTORICAL FIGURES WHO ARE
SPECULATED TO HAVE HAD AUTISM
•
•
•
•
Albert Einstein
Isaac Newton
Andy Warhol
Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart
Page 8
O f f ice E cho e s 2013
Common traits in Autism
Below is a list of common traits among children and teens with
High-Functioning Autism and Asperger's. However, no child will exhibit all of
these traits. Also, the degree (i.e., mild to severe) to which any particular trait is
experienced will vary from child to child.
Emotions and Sensitivities:
1. An emotional incident can determine the mood for the day.
2. Becomes overwhelmed with too much verbal direction.
3. Calmed by external stimulation (e.g. soothing sound, brushing, rotating
object, constant pressure).
4. Desires comfort items (e.g. blankets, teddy, rock, string).
5. Difficulty with loud or sudden sounds.
6. Emotions can pass very suddenly or are drawn out for a long period of time.
7. Inappropriate touching of self in public situations.
8. Intolerance to certain food textures, colours or the way they are presented on
the plate (e.g. one food can’t touch another).
9. Laughs, cries or throws a tantrum for no apparent reason.
10. May need to be left alone to release tension and frustration.
11. Resists change in the environment (e.g. people, places, objects).
12. Sensitivity or lack of sensitivity to sounds, textures, tastes, smells or light.
13. Tends to either tune out or break down when being reprimanded.
14. Unusually high or low pain tolerance.
School-Related Skills:
1. Difficulty transitioning from one activity to another in school.
2. Difficulty with fine motor activities (e.g., colourings, printing, using scissors,
gluing).
3. Difficulty with reading comprehension (e.g. can quote an answer, but unable to
predict, summarize or find symbolism).
4. Excellent rote memory in some areas.
5. Exceptionally high skills in some areas and very low in others.
6. Resistance or inability to follow directions.
7. Short attention span for most lessons.
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O f f ice E cho e s 2013
Common traits in Autism - cont’d
Health and Movement:
1. Allergies and food sensitivities.
2. Apparent lack of concern for personal hygiene (e.g. hair, teeth, body odour).
3. Appearance of hearing problems, but hearing has been checked and is fine.
4. Constipation.
5. Difficulty changing from one floor surface to another (e.g. carpet to wood,
sidewalk to grass).
6. Difficulty moving through a space (e.g. bumps into objects or people).
7. Frequent gas, burping or throwing up.
8. Incontinence of bowel and/or bladder.
9. Irregular sleep patterns.
10. Odd or unnatural posture (e.g. rigid or floppy).
11. Seizure activity.
12. Unusual gait.
13. Walks on toes.
14. Walks without swinging arms freely.
Linguistic and Language Development:
1. Abnormal use of pitch, intonation, rhythm or stress while speaking
2. Difficulty understanding directional terms (e.g. front, back, before, after).
3. Difficulty whispering.
4. Makes verbal sounds while listening (i.e. echolalia).
5. May have a very high vocabulary.
6. Often uses short, incomplete sentences.
7. Pronouns are often inappropriately used.
8. Repeats last words or phrases several times.
9. Speech is abnormally loud or quiet.
10. Speech started very early and then stopped for a period of time.
11. Uses a person’s name excessively when speaking to them.
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Common traits in Autism - cont’d
Social Skills:
1. Aversion to answering questions about themselves.
2. Difficulty maintaining friendships.
3. Difficulty reading facial expressions and body language.
4. Difficulty understanding group interactions.
5. Difficulty understanding jokes, figures of speech or sarcasm.
6. Difficulty understanding the rules of conversation.
7. Does not generally share observations or experiences with others.
8. Finds it easier to socialize with people that are older or younger, rather than
peers of their own age.
9. Gives spontaneous comments which seem to have no connection to the
current conversation.
10. Makes honest, but inappropriate observations.
11. Minimal acknowledgement of others.
12. Overly trusting or unable to read the motives behinds peoples’ actions.
13. Prefers to be alone, aloof or overly-friendly.
14. Resistance to being held or touched.
15. Responds to social interactions, but does not initiate them.
16. Seems unable to understand another’s feelings.
17. Talks excessively about one or two topics (e.g., dinosaurs, movies, etc.).
18. Tends to get too close when speaking to someone (i.e. lack of personal space).
19. Unaware of/disinterested in what is going on around them.
20. Very little or no eye contact.
Behaviors:
1.Causes injury to self (e.g. biting, banging head).
2. Difficulty attending to some tasks.
3. Difficulty sensing time (e.g. knowing how long 5 minutes is, or 3 days or a
month).
4. Difficulty transferring skills from one area to another.
5. Difficulty waiting for their turn (e.g. standing in line).
6. Extreme fear for no apparent reason.
7. Fascination with rotation.
8. Feels the need to fix or rearrange things.
9. Fine motor skills are developmentally behind peers (e.g. hand writing, tying
Shoe laces, using scissors, etc.).
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Common traits in Autism - cont’d
10. Frustration is expressed in unusual ways.
11. Gross motor skills are developmentally behind peers (e.g., riding a bike,
skating, running).
12. Inability to perceive potentially dangerous situations.
13. Many and varied collections.
14. Obsessions with objects, ideas or desires.
15. Perfectionism in certain areas.
16. Play is often repetitive.
17. Quotes movies or video games.
18. Ritualistic or compulsive behavior patterns (e.g. sniffing, licking, watching
objects fall, flapping arms, spinning, rocking, humming, tapping, sucking,
rubbing clothes).
19. Transitioning from one activity to another is difficult.
20. Unexpected movements (e.g. running out into the street).
21. Unusual attachment to objects.
22. Verbal outbursts.
Article reproduced from:
http://www.myaspergerschild.com/2013/04/list-of-symptoms-for-highfunctioning.html
DID YOU KNOW…..???
You can do a simple saliva test at home to check
whether Candida or another fungal concern may
be present in your gut.
You must do this first thing in the morning once
you get up.
Simply get a glass and fill it with
water.
Then deposit a sample of your saliva into it and
leave it for 15 minutes or so.
If your results look like the picture at left, then
you may benefit from a visit with your GP, who
can advise options to treat it.
O f f ice E cho e s 2013
Page 12
“Blind Rage” in children...
NOTE: It is highly recommended that our readers take time to become familiar with
Tony Attwood’s book – The Complete Guide to Aspergers Syndrome. It has a section devoted to
“The understanding and expression of emotions” and pages 146 - 147 discuss “Managing Rage”
in depth. Here the reader is alerted to the diagnostic term “Intermittent Explosive Disorder”
which is included in the DSM-IV. This may be worth considering as a more accurate way to
describe “Blind Rage”. Due to limited space we can’t include the full definition here.
Some children with Aspergers and High-Functioning Autism are known for their
“explosive” and “out-of-control” behavior. This is referred to as “blind rage.”
A blind rage is “blind” in the sense that the affected child may not be totally aware
of his or her behavior during the rage episode. It’s a feeling of intense and growing
anger that is associated with the fight-or-flight response, but should not be
confused with temper tantrums or meltdowns. During a tantrum, the child is aware
of his or her behavior and motives, whereas rage occurs in a semi-conscious state.
Meltdowns are driven more by anxiety-related issues (e.g. sensory sensitivities),
whereas rage is driven more by anger-related issues and a need to retaliate.
An Aspergers child with comorbid ADHD and/or ODD has an increased
susceptibility to blind rage. Rage can sometimes grow to the point where the child
is capable of doing things that may normally seem physically impossible.
Children experiencing rage usually feel the effects of high adrenaline levels in the
body. This increase in adrenal output raises the physical strength and endurance
levels of the child and sharpens his or her senses, while dulling the sensation of
pain.
Children in a blind rage have described experiencing events in “slow-motion.”
An explanation of this "time dilation" effect is that, instead of actually slowing the
perception of time, high levels of adrenaline increase the ability to recall specific
minutiae of an event after it occurs. Since people ordinarily gauge time based on
the amount of things they can remember, high-adrenaline events, such as those
experienced during periods of blind rage, seem to unfold more slowly.
A child in a state of rage also loses much of his capacity for rational thought and
reasoning, and may act (usually violently) on his impulses to the point that he may
attack until he has been restrained, or the source of his rage has been “destroyed.”
A child in a blind rage may also experience tunnel vision, muffled hearing, increased
heart rate and hyperventilation. S/he often focuses only on the source of his/her
anger. Also, the large amounts of adrenaline and oxygen in the bloodstream may
cause his/her extremities to shake.
O f f ice E cho e s 2013
Page 13
“Blind Rage” - cont’d
Blind rage has three components:
1.
The first component is the emotion itself, defined as an affective or arousal
state, or a feeling experienced when a goal is blocked or needs are frustrated.
For example:

Conflict over possessions, which involves someone taking
the child’s property or invading his space.
Issues of compliance, which often involve asking or insisting
that the child do something that she does not want to do
(e.g. brushing his/her teeth).
Physical assault, which involves one youngster doing something to another
youngster (e.g., pushing or hitting).
Rejection, which involves a youngster being ignored
or not allowed to play with peers.
Verbal conflict (e.g., a tease or a taunt).




2. The second component of rage is its expression. Some Aspergers kids vent or
express rage through facial expressions, crying, sulking, or talking, but do little to
try to solve a problem or confront the “offender.” Others actively resist by
physically or verbally defending their positions, self-esteem, or possessions in
non-aggressive ways. Still others express rage with aggressive
revenge by physically or verbally retaliating against the
“offender.” Some Aspergers kids express dislike by telling the
offender that he or she can’t play or is not liked.
Others express rage through avoidance or attempts to escape
from the “offender.” And some use “adult-seeking” (i.e. looking
for comfort or solutions from a parent or teacher, or telling the
adult about an incident).
3. The third component of the rage experience is understanding (i.e. interpreting and
evaluating) the emotion. Because the ability to regulate the expression of rage is
linked to an understanding of the emotion, and because Aspergers kids’ ability to
reflect on their rage is somewhat limited, they need guidance from parents and
teachers in understanding and managing their feelings of rage. The development of
three basic cognitive processes undergirds Aspergers kids’ gradual development of
the understanding of rage: (continued on next page)
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“Blind Rage” - cont’d



Memory: Memory improves substantially during early childhood, enabling
children to better remember aspects of rage-arousing interactions.
Aspergers kids who have developed unhelpful ideas of how to express rage
may retrieve the early unhelpful strategy – even after parents and teachers
help them gain a more helpful perspective. This implies that adults may have
to remind some Aspergers kids (more than once or twice) about the less
aggressive ways of expressing rage.
Language: Talking about emotions helps Aspergers kids understand their
feelings. The understanding of emotion in these young people is predicted by
overall language ability. Parents and teachers can expect individual
differences in the ability to identify and label angry feelings because the
kids’ families model a variety of approaches in talking about emotions.
Self-Referential and Self-Regulatory Behaviors: Self-referential behaviors
include viewing the self as separate from others and as an active,
independent, causal agent. Self-regulation refers to controlling impulses,
tolerating frustration, and postponing immediate gratification. Initial
self-regulation in Aspergers kids provides a base for parents and teachers
who can develop strategies to nurture these kids’ emerging ability to
regulate the expression of rage.
Techniques to help children with Aspergers and HighFunctioning Autism learn to deal with blind rage:
1. All of us exhibit some "signs" just as we begin to get angry.
So, it’s actually fairly easy to identify the “rage signs” in a
youngster with Aspergers or High-Functioning Autism. For example, you may
detect a certain "look in the eye," a tone of voice, or a tightness in the child’s
body. Thus, your first course of action is to help your youngster observe these
signs right at the onset of rage. Once Aspergers kids can identify the early
signs of their rage, they can also learn to diffuse it by self-soothing techniques
(e.g. walking away, taking full and vigorous breaths).
2. Train your Aspergers youngster to respond to your "signal" (e.g. a hand motion)
to stay calm. Give that signal as soon as your youngster starts "stewing" about
something. If your Aspergers youngster is too young for such self-control
techniques, use distraction as soon as you notice her exhibiting a rage sign.
A distraction, in order to be effective, has to be of interest to the youngster
(e.g. suggest to her "let's ride a bike" or "let's play ball" or “let’s play on the
swing outside”).
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O f f ice E cho e s 2013
“Blind Rage” - cont’d
3. Teach your Aspergers kids to talk about how they feel. Give them a language to
express their feelings. If they are too angry to talk or don't have the words to
express their feelings, ask about the feelings relevant to the specific situation.
For example, "Do you feel rejected?" "Hurt?" "Let down?" …etc. When your
Aspergers youngster expresses the feeling behind her rage (e.g. embarrassment
or rejection) suggest some other ways to look at the same event that might not
be embarrassing or humiliating.
4. The thought, "It's not fair," is a big rage-arouser for many ADHD & Aspie kids.
If that is the case, ask them "Do you feel you are being treated unfairly?"
When your youngster answers the question, listen and don't rush to negate
his/her feelings.
5. If the Aspergers youngster refuses to be distracted or engaged in dialoguing
about her rage and starts yelling, stomping or breaking an object, impose
appropriate consequences. But have these consequences in place ahead of time to
serve as a guideline. That means that you have discussed them with your
Aspergers child beforehand and written them out for future reference. Armed
with a list of consequences (which preferably consist of withdrawing privileges or
charging the Aspergers youngster a "penalty") moms and dads should encourage
their child to choose such alternatives as doing something else, walking away, or
talking about the rage rather than acting out of rage.
6. How about your own rage in response to your Aspergers youngster's rage?
You can set an example of rage control for your youngster. No teaching technique
is as effective as a parent "modelling" for the youngster with his or her own
example.
7. One thing that makes many moms and dads angry is to see their youngster
challenging their authority and defying them. Sometimes it may appear so, but
that may not be the intention of the youngster. For example, a child may be too
unhappy to be told ‘no’ because he or she wants something so badly. Of course, you
shouldn't give in to the child’s demands, but try to understand what might really
be his or her intention.
8. Some Aspergers kids get upset when they know they made a mistake. Instead of
admitting their mistake, they act out in rage to deflect the attention off them.
If you realize that this might be the case, it's helpful to say to your youngster,
"Everyone makes mistakes. I am okay with it. Don't feel so bad about it."
9. Aspergers kids that lash out at others should be often reminded of such
consequences as losing privileges at home, going to the Principal's office at school,
and being restrained. [However please note, this is likely to inflame the situation &
cause the child to become more agitated & less flexible in thinking - refer Tony
Attwood’s book - The Complete Guide to Aspergers Syndrome, pages 146-147].
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“Blind Rage” - cont’d
10. If the rage outbursts occur in relation to the siblings, and you didn't observe the
whole interaction from the very beginning, it's better to impose a penalty on both
siblings.
11. Some Aspergers kids get angry because they don't have appropriate peer
interaction skills. For example, they don't know how to join in a conversation or a
game. They abruptly try to get in. When resisted or rejected by peers, they
explode. Teaching appropriate social skills can go a long way to avoid such negative
encounters.
12. Parents can establish a home environment that reduces rage and teaches
tolerance. For example, they can set a personal example for their Aspergers son
or daughter that "big people do apologize” and “it's graceful to lose and try
again.”
13. Parents and teachers can use guidance strategies to help Aspergers kids express
angry feelings in socially constructive ways. These kids develop ideas about how to
express emotions primarily through social interaction in their families, and later
by watching television or movies, playing video games, and reading books. Some
have learned a negative, aggressive approach to expressing rage, and when con
fronted with everyday conflicts, resort to using aggression at home or in the
classroom. A major challenge for parents and teachers is to encourage Aspergers
kids to acknowledge angry feelings and to help them learn to express anger in
positive and effective ways.
14. Create a safe emotional climate. A healthy environment permits Aspergers kids
to acknowledge all feelings – pleasant and unpleasant – and does not ‘shame’ rage
incidents (e.g. “You should be ashamed of yourself for acting this way!”).
Healthy environments – whether at home or at school – have clear, firm, and
flexible boundaries.
15. Encourage Aspergers kids to label feelings, including rage. Parents and teachers
can help children produce a label for their rage by teaching them that they are
having a feeling and that they can use a word to describe. A permanent record
(e.g., book or chart) can be made of lists of labels for rage (e.g. angry, mad, hot,
irritated, annoyed) and the child can refer to it when discussing angry feelings.
16. Encourage Aspergers kids to talk about rage-arousing interactions. Aspergers
kids better understand rage and other emotions when grown-ups explain
emotions. When these kids are embroiled in a rage-arousing interaction, parents
and teachers can help by listening without judging, evaluating, or ordering them
to feel differently.
Page 17
O f f ice E cho e s 2013
“Blind Rage” - cont’d
17. Help your Aspergers youngster develop self-regulatory skills. Parents of children
on the autism spectrum do a lot of “child-regulation work" (i.e. doing things ‘for’
their child rather than ‘with’ their child). This is because parents know that their
child has a very limited ability to regulate emotions. As Aspergers kids get older,
grown-ups can gradually transfer control of the self to their kids, so that they
can develop self-regulatory skills.
18. Model responsible rage management. Aspergers kids have an impaired ability to
understand emotion when adults show a lot of rage. Adults who are most effective
in helping kids manage rage model responsible management by acknowledging,
accepting and taking responsibility for their own angry feelings and by expressing
anger in direct and non-aggressive ways.
19. Use books and social stories about rage to help
Aspergers kids understand and manage it.
Well-presented stories about rage and other emotions
validate a kid's feelings and give information about
rage. It is important to preview all books about rage,
because some stories teach irresponsible rage
management.
20. Aspergers kids guided toward responsible rage
management are more likely to understand and manage
angry feelings directly and non-aggressively and to avoid the stress often
accompanying poor rage management. Parents and teachers can take some of the
bumps out of understanding and managing rage by adopting the positive guidance
strategies listed above.
There are so many great resources
available nowadays – check out your
library as well as the internet for
endless options - including the handy
tip on the left.
Page 18
O f f ice E cho e s 2013
Women’s Centre Waitakere
COURSES FOR WOMEN
TERM 4 2013 (October – December)
KNOWING YOURSELF –
REBUILDING SELF-ESTEEM
THE ICEBERG –
(Understanding and Managing your
Anger)
THE JOURNEY OF THE BUTTERFLY COURSE
(Supporting Women to break the cycle
of violence)
WEDNESDAY: 10.00 – 12.00
FRIDAY 10.00 – 12.00
START: 16th Oct – 4th Dec
START: 18th Oct – 6th Dec
MONDAY: 10.00 – 12.00
START: 14th Oct – 2nd Dec
(7 weeks)
@ Women’s Centre Waitakere
111 McLeod Rd
Te Atatu South
WHAT THE COURSE COVERS:
-What is self-esteem
-Developing self-esteem
-Parent, adult & child ego states
-Drama triangle – unhealthy patterns of
interactions within relationships
-Alternative triangle – stepping out of
the drama triangle
-Challenging destructive childhood
messages perceived as truth
-Explore Life positions – how these
influence our view of self and life
-Outcomes of when our basic human
needs are met/ not met
-Life Balance
-Exploring internal & external resources
-Setting SMART goals
-Self-care
(8 weeks)
@ WAVES
7 Henderson Valley Rd
Henderson
(8 weeks)
@ Dayspring Trust
2 Seabrook Ave
New Lynn
WHAT THE COURSE COVERS:
WHAT THE COURSE COVERS:
-What is Anger? Is it normal?
-What is underneath our anger?
-Styles of anger
-Anger payoffs
-Dealing with ours and others’
anger
-Expressing anger assertively
-Strategies to manage anger and
have different outcomes
-Self-care
-Understanding family violence
-Naming the abuse
-Healthy & unhealthy relationships
-Controlling tactics and how to respond
-Why women stay in violent
relationships
-Impact of family violence on children
-Boundaries
-Creating a new ‘landscape’ for self and children, rediscover self
-Build support networks and not feel alone
-Self-care
CONTACT US:
Mission statement
111 McLeod Rd, Te Atatu South
Course Costs:
Tel: (09)838 6381
Mob: 021 196 6367
Weekly Gold Coin donation
Email: in-
Crèche: Available on request
Registration Essential!!
[email protected]
www.womenscentre.org.nz
Facebook us:
Women’s Centre Waitakere
Empowering women
Promoting family wellbeing
and
Community belonging
Page 19
O f f ice E cho e s 2013
The Ultimate Networking Experience...
As a parent of a child with special needs you are especially invited to come to:
“WHAT IS THE VALUE OF NETWORKING WITH OTHER PARENTS?”
“WHY DO WE HAVE SUPPORT GROUPS?”
Aims:

To reduce the isolation parents may feel

To raise awareness of resources and supports

To increase problem-solving and coping skills

To address the emotional and relationship needs that can arise with parenting

To provide opportunities for children with special needs and their siblings to meet with
others with whom they have things in common.
Outcomes for parents:

Increased competence and coping

Social support

Increased use of services
We endeavour to share:

Ideas

Experiences

Insights

Strategies
So come along - join with other mums/dads/carers who may be dealing with similar issues to
you - who are walking a similar path.
Bring along any questions, concerns or queries you may have… e.g. you may have questions
about anything from ideas for the holidays, to child friendly services around town… from
who is a good dentist for children, to how to deal with taxi issues etc.
YOU MAY JUST GO HOME WITH A HINT OR TIP YOU
HAD NEVER THOUGHT OF…

You may have a child with ASD, or AD/HD or Dyspraxia etc.

Your child may not have an “official” diagnosis. It makes no difference, as often the
issues you face are similar.

Your child may be just little or more worldly wise - you are all welcome.

You may have heard about us and would like to know more.

Please feel free to bring your partner/family member/friend.
SUPPER PROVIDED
For more details check out page 20
Page 20
O f f ice E cho e s 2013
Whanau Marama Courses for 2013
Page 21
Begins Thursday 7th November, 6.30pm to 9.00pm and
continues each Thursday evening until 28th November
Cost $35
O f f ice E cho e s 2013
Page 22
O f f ice E cho e s 2013
Books to read...
The following books are HIGHLY recommended:
1001 Great Ideas for Teaching & Raising Children with Autism or Aspergers
Ellen Notbohm & Veronica Zysk
Congratulations it‘s Aspergers – Jen Birch
Asperger‘s and Girls – Tony Attwood & Temple Grandin
The Complete Guide to Asperger‘s Syndrome – Tony Attwood
Driven to Distraction - Edward M Hallowell & John J Ratey
How to Teach Life Skills to Kids with Autism or Aspergers—Jennifer McILwee Myers
THE ADHD AUTISM CONNECTION - Diane M Kennedy
The Explosive Child - Ross W Greene Ph.D.
The BLT Hypothesis - Peter M DiMezza & James E Kaplar
It‘s So Much Work to Be Your Friend – Richard Lavoie
Good News for the Alphabet Kids – Michael & Greta Sichel
No more Meltdowns – Jed Baker, PhD
Exploring Feelings: Anxiety & Anger – Tony Attwood
The Gift of Learning – Ronald D. Davis
Tips for Toileting – Jo Adkins & Sue Larkey
Thinking in Pictures / My life with Autism – Temple Grandin
Your Defiant Teen—Russell A Barkley
A Beginners Guide to AUTISM SPECTRUM DISORDERS - Paul G Taylor
Kids in the Syndrome Mix—Martin L Kutscher
Page 23
O f f ice E cho e s 2013
Support Group Dates 2013
Evening Meetings
Ignite Waitakere: 184 Lincoln Rd, Henderson.
7:30 pm - 9:30pm
[3rd Monday each month]
Day Time Meetings
West Harbour School, Oreil Ave, Massey. 9:30 am- 11:30 am
[4th Tuesday each month] (in the old dental clinic—The Hub)
Mark them on your calendar or in your diary to keep track...
January
NIL
April
15th
July
15th
October
21st & 29th
February
18th
May
20th
August
19th & 27th
November
18th & 26th
March
18th
June
17th
September
16th & 24th
December
16th
Spotlight on ...
Elevator is a specialised recruitment consultancy, offering a wide choice of
supported employment options for people with disabilities living in the
greater Auckland region.
We offer a FREE service to disabled job seekers and employers.
Our mission is to assist disabled Aucklanders to work in careers of their choice.
CONTACT US:
Free Phone: 0508 353 828
09 531 5600
Fax: 09 529 1409
Email: [email protected]
Page 24
O f f ice E cho e s 2013
Contact Us
West Links Family Services
P.O.Box 45-104
Te Atatu Peninsula, AUCKLAND, 0651
Office Ph: 09 836 1941
Mobile: 021 101 5864
E-mail: [email protected]
www.westlinksfamilyservices.co.nz
We are a not-for-profit, community based organisation.
We have charitable status… CC41424
DONATIONS to WEST LINKS FAMILY SERVICES (large or small) … are
gratefully accepted... OR you can support us via an annual subscription of $35
Please consider making your donation via electronic banking or D/C to:
Westpac A/C: 03-0155-0739555-00
Please include your name & telephone number as a reference & receipts
are issued for tax purposes.
THANK YOU!
The time is right to make a difference...
Won’t YOU join us ?
Page 25
O f f ice E cho e s 2013
Our Office is located here
Waitakere Community Resource Centre
8 Ratanui Street
Henderson
We have a designated space available in the car park for visitors - facing
Harvey Norman, just past the carport.
otherwise Parking is available in Alderman Drive (in front of Harvey Norman) or
at Westfield Mall, or the paid parking in front of the Falls Restaurant.