COnversATIOns AbOuT ILLness AnD LOss

The Brotherhood Synagogue
h’’bZ
28 Gramercy Park South
New York, NY 10003
Phone (212) 674-5750 Fax (212) 505-6707
www.brotherhoodsynagogue.org
Volume XXXIII Number VII
Nisan / Iyar 5775 April 2015
“Let’s Talk”
Shabbat Services
by Rabbi Daniel Alder
H
aving sat with families at the hospital
bed of the seriously ill and dying, or
listened while an older person worried about
what will happen next, I can attest that there
are conversations that should have happened
prior but were avoided.
How do you talk to someone about their
end of life care? That is the recurring question
people have asked Dr. Jeanne Fitzpatrick
after the release of her book, A Better Way
of Dying. It is usually asked by a relative of
someone whose health is failing, who’s heading
down that slippery slope from health and
independence to loss of control and eventual
death. You know a time is coming when you
will have to make decisions for your loved one
about how aggressively to sustain life when
the body or mind is clearly failing. How do
you have that essential conversation that will
let you make decisions that you know are
consistent with your loved one’s wishes?
90% of people say that talking with their
loved ones about end of life care is important
but 27% have actually done so.
The first step is watching for an opening. It
may come as a small aside in conversation:
“I’m just so tired,” or “I don’t know why I
have to hurt so much,” or “I can’t seem to
manage like I used to.” You can respond to any
such vague, global statement with a simple
question, “Mom, can we talk about your
health for a minute?” The opening also might
be on the subject of what happens to “stuff”
after the person dies. You can also interrupt a
pensive moment with “Dad, are you worried
about the future?”
60% of people say that making sure their
family is not burdened by tough decisions
is extremely important but 56% have not
communicated their end of life wishes.
Next comes a loving affirmation, a
reinforcement of the importance of this
person in your life. “Mom, I’ve been so lucky
to have you active and healthy for so long.
Every day that you’re still here is a blessing to
me. I wish you could live forever, but we both
know that a time will come when your health
will change. I’m really worried that someday
you won’t be able to make your own decisions,
and I’m going to have to make them for you.
And I don’t know what you want me to do
when that happens. I want to know that I’m
making the choices you want me to make, but
I can’t if we don’t talk about it.”
82% of people say it’s important to put their
wishes in writing but only 23% have actually
done so.
Now that you’ve broached the subject, it’s
time to talk about possible choices. You can
start by describing the usual choice: “The
simplest thing to do would be just to tell your
doctors to keep you alive as long as you can.
And that’s what I’ll do if that’s your choice.
But I’d like to know if you can imagine some
condition where you might want me to tell
them to stop keeping you alive and let you die
a comfortable natural death, like if you had a
stroke and were in a coma.”
80% of people say that if seriously ill, they
would want to talk to their doctors about end
of life care but 7% have had an end of life
conversation with their doctor.
FRIDAY, April 3, 6:30 pm
SATURDAY, April 4, 9:30 am
First Day of Pesach
FRIDAY, April 10, 6:30 pm
SATURDAY, April 11, 9:30 am
Eighth Day of Pesach
FRIDAY, April 17, 6:30 pm
SATURDAY, April 18, 9:30 am
FRIDAY, April 24, 6:30 pm
SATURDAY, April 25, 9:30 am
Bar Mitzvah of Samuel Keller
with a younger child about the illness or loss
of a grandparent, a sick classmate, or the death
of a parent of a classmate. To the extent that
these topics tend to be unnerving both because
of the sad subject for the one who is ailing and
the speaker’s own unresolved feelings of loss,
panic and grief, it may help to understand
better one’s own feelings and get some tools
to help understand what the other side of the
conversation is feeling.
The Brotherhood Synagogue Chesed
Committee invites you to join in an
important program entitled “LET’S TALK:
These are some of the difficult conversations CONVERSATIONS ABOUT ILLNESS
that we will at some point have to have with AND LOSS” on Sunday, April 12th beginning
loved ones about illness and loss. It could be at 10 am. Please see more detailed information
the talk of an adult child with an aging parent. in this newsletter and make it a priority to begin
Or
it could be the talk a parent might have the conversation by attending the event. l
brotehrhood_benefit ad_Layout 1 2/17/15 1:19 AM Page 1
THE
BROTHERHOOD
SYNAGOGUE
SCHOOLS
BENEFIT
APRIL 23, 2015
�
6:30-9:30PM
SAVE THE DATE
Community Notes: Hear! Oh, Israel
by Paul Hill
A
reason I am grateful to be a Jew is our
ritual imperative to transcend time
and place.
To my mind, body, and heart, each
sound of our people that I hear is a message,
evidence, artifact, reproduction, homage,
communiqué, clarion call, relic, trace of
our collective-unconscious and experience,
uniting brethren, humanity, the holy.
In Hebrew, Aramaic, Ladino, JudeoArabic, Yiddish, and without language,
across the Ashkenazi, Sfardi, and Mizrachi
world, day by day, week by week, year in
and out, the places and events, personages
and millennia of our people pass, yet in each
time and place I envision myself: “This is on
account of what the Eternal did for me…”
For me, to sing L’chah Dodi is to
walk on sloping fields with Kabbalists
out to meet the Sabbath Bride at
eventide in 16th Century S’fat; to chant
Haftorah is to stand eighty generations
past in Jerusalem streets sounding
Hashem’s parental, lordly blessings and
imprecations.
I chant Torah in 3rd Century
Alexandria’s Great Synagogue, silently
accompanied by angelic gabaim guiding
the gathered masses’ voice by chironomic
gestures that in 9th Century Baghdad
transmogrify into cantilation followed
this day.
The Shabbos service carries me on
sounds running pillar to post from
Germanic folk tunes and hymnals to
Italian oratorio, dipping into ancient
Aramaic and lilting to melodies popular
in 1960’s Israel. Like the painter’s alla
prima brushstroke, the cantor’s twist
of timbre traverses Isaiah’s cry from the
depths to Tevye’s buoyant bellow in one
breath: despair, exaltation, trembling,
Sim Shalom.
I am David in the valley of darkness.
Else’t, I pitch high wail born on far-flung
desert or sidle into bittersweet niggun of
Chassidic wood.
Even our Talmud, that multimillennium compendial conversation,
can be chanted.
In the Spring, I stand among brethren
of 33 centuries past, with back to the sea,
free and facing the wilderness, having
escaped Egypt’s royal chariots, singing
The Song of The Sea. But seven centuries
later, I am sitting low, enslaved and exiled
by the waters of Babylon, reciting Eicha.
2
To implore Kol Nidre
is to live in the time of the
Inquisition, amongst duressed souls and
the perishing. The shofar blast calls to me
from primordial mountain. At Neilah,
singing more deeply, more fully than on
any other moment of the year, beseeching
continuance of soul and community, I am
at Sinai, together with every Jew of all time
and place. l
This year the theme at Brotherhood is
“MUSIC” and we invite one and all to share
here in our “Community Notes” their thoughts
and feelings relative to any aspect of music
in Jewish life. Please send all submissions to
[email protected]. (Word
limit: 750 words!)
Shabbat Club
April 25 & May 23
1 pm
The Brotherhood Synagogue monthly
Shabbat Club will meet on April
25 (topic to be announced) and
on May 23, when Phil Rothman
will lead a discussion on Shavuot.
All are welcome to attend these
meetings—members, non-members,
friends—which last about an hour. The
group meets at 1 pm in the second
floor reception room, opposite the
sanctuary entrance. Beverages and
snacks are served. Please contact
Deborah Newman (newmanddale@
aol.com) with suggestions for topics or
discussion leaders. l
Life Goes On
Life Goes On is a group for those of us who
have lost a spouse or life partner and want to
experience the beauty, joy, and opportunity
that New York life offers surrounded by
supportive friends who understand and share
in the loss.
Our next book club meeting will be on
Monday, April 6 at 7pm. We are reading
“The Paying Guests” by Sarah Waters, The
New York Times bestselling novel that has been
called “a tour de force” (Wall Street Journal),
“unputdownable” (The Washington Post),
and “a delicious hothouse of a novel” (USA
Today). NYU professor Margaret Boe Birns
will expertly guide our discussion as usual,
accompanied by wine and desserts. The cost
of participating is $20 per person; please call
or e-mail Agnes if you plan to join.
We have a very special program for
Wednesday, April 22. We are going to have
a guided tour of the Four Freedoms Park
on Roosevelt Island at 5pm, just at the right
time of the year to see the cherry blossoms in
bloom! We will meet at 4:30 at the tram, take
it over together, and walk the approximately
10 blocks to the park on the Southern tip of
the island. Golf cart rides will be provided
for those that need assistance. After the tour,
a boxed picnic dinner will be provided in a
heated tent for everyone who chooses to stay.
The cost of the tour is $15 per person. The
dinner will be charged separately with the cost
to be advised in advance.
If you or someone you know would like
to be a part of Life Goes On, please come to
our meetings—we would be happy to see you!
If you have any questions, please call Agnes
Marton at 917.519.4427 or e-mail her at
[email protected] or call Roberta in
the Synagogue office at 212.674.5750. l
The Brotherhood Synagogue
Nisan / Iyar 5775
April 2015
Save the Date
Service and Study for the First Born
This service will be held on Friday morning, April 3rd at 7:30 am. Those who
choose not to observe the fast of the First Born should attend the service and
then participate in the completion of a tractate of study. In celebration of
that accomplishment, a light breakfast will follow.
Passover Services
First Days
Concluding Days
Thursday, April 9, 6:30 pm
Friday, April 10, 9:30 am & 6:30 pm
Saturday, April 11, 9:30 am
Friday, April 3, 6:30 pm
Saturday, April 4, 9:30 am
Sunday, April 5, 9:30 am
Yizkor will be recited at services on Saturday, April 11 at around 11:30 am.
Passover is one of the four times a year when we recite Yizkor prayers in
memory of our loved ones. It is traditional to give gifts of charity in their names.
May every gift be blessed and the givers thereof.
Social Action News
The Brotherhood
Chesed Committee invites
you to join…
Let’s Talk:
Conversations about
Illness and Loss
Sunday, April 12, 2015 • 10 am - 1 pm
Keynote Speakers:
William S. Breitbart, MD
Chairman, Department of Psychiatry
and Behavioral Sciences, Memorial
Sloan Kettering Cancer Center
Rabbi Mychal B. Springer
Director, Center for Pastoral Education,
Jewish Theological Seminary
11:30 am - 12:30 pm • Workshops
Talking to Your Young Children
about Illness and Loss
Linda Stertz, LCSW-R, is a therapist in private practice and
the Manager of the Pediatric Palliative Care Program at
Visiting Nurse Service of NY
Planning Ahead: Having Difficult
Conversations with Loved Ones
Miriam Herscher, LMSW, Chaplain, is the Community
Outreach Coordinator with The Shira Ruskay Center, JBFCS
12:30 pm - 1:00 pm • Healing Service with
Cantor Michael Weis
Nisan / Iyar 5775
April 2015
The Brotherhood Synagogue
Backpack and School
Supply Drive &
Summer Adopt-aBlock Drive
During the month of
May, the Social Action
Committee and the Interfaith
Committee, will sponsor a Backpack and School Supply
Drive, and a Summer Adopt-a-Block Drive to benefit the
Dream Center which provides goods, in this case backpacks
and school supplies, and everyday household items, to
those living on a fixed income in housing projects in West
Chelsea. Please consider donating the following items:
• Backpacks
• Loose paper
• Folders
• Hand sanitizer
• Pencils
• Pencil pouches
• Crayons
• Laundry detergent
(powder or liquid)
• Highlighters
• Men’s socks
• Glue sticks
• Washcloths
• Spiral notebooks
• Ziploc baggies (all sizes)
• Toothbrushes
• Travel size toothpaste
• Travel size hygiene items
• Granola bars
• Bottles of water
3
Happenings in Our Kehilah
Births, Mazal Tov to:
Weddings, Mazal Tov to:
Marla and Daniel Gabay on the birth of
their daughter, Nina Rose Gabay; and to
older siblings, Sofia and Benjamin.
Margie and Bram Jelin on the marriage of
their son Ben Jelin to Shannon Stewart.
Mandy and Shaya Reiter on the birth of
their son, Joshua Mordechai Reiter; and to
older brothers, Benjamin and Zachary.
Michelle Blate on the birth of her son,
Edwin Charles Blate; and to grandmother,
Susanne Blate.
B’nai Mitzvah, Mazal Tov to:
James Keller and Lydia Schwartz on the Bar
Mitzvah of their son, Samuel Keller.
Condolences to:
Stacey Grill and Glen Kopp on the passing
of their newborn son, August Oscar Kopp.
Jonathan Ellant on the passing of his mother,
Arlene Ellant.
Marsha Rubin-Cohen on the passing of her
mother, Charlotte Rubin.
Welcome New Members:
Welcome to Michael Yair Drucker and
Kate Stevenson of the Upper East Side.
Michael is a school psychologist and Kate
is a Special Education Teacher for the
NYC Department of Education. Kate
and Michael are looking forward to being
married at the Brotherhood Synagogue this
coming spring.
Welcome to Rob Talmas and Joseph Vitale
of Gramercy Park. Rob is a Vice President
at Cablevision and Joseph is a Senior Vice
President at Guy Carpenter. They have a
son, Cooper, who is almost 2.
Welcome to Howard and Bari Shore
of NoHo. Howard is a Director at
Oppenheimer and Co. and Bari is a Senior
Director of Product Development and
Production at Foundrae. l
The Chesed* Committee
Wants You to Know
The UJA-Federation runs a helpline called the “J-1-1” to provide information and referrals
on a host of topics, such as support for older adults and caregivers, financial and employment services, mental-health services for teens and families, and resources for serious illness
and end-of-life care. The helpline number is 877-UJA-NYJ11.
*The Chesed Committee provides help and compassion to Brotherhood members in times
of need. We can be reached at [email protected] or through the synagogue office.
Thanks to our homeless shelter volunteers!
President’s Posting
R
ecently I had the pleasure of attending
a “thank you” brunch honoring all
the volunteers who gave of their time to
Brotherhood’s Homeless Shelter program.
This program was initiated 30 years ago at
Brotherhood and we were the first Synagogue
in the city to establish such a shelter. It was
so gratifying to meet not only the adults who
volunteer but also, the children and teens.
A big shout out to Nancy Hornstein, who
manages this program and to all who help us
offer this “shelter” during the winter months.
Todah rabah (thank you very much!).
Purim was such a delightful time at
Brotherhood Synagogue. Everyone looked
wonderful in their costumes and had their
fill of hamentaschen. The two Purim spiels
were terrific – we have some very talented
actors, singers and writers in our midst. A
big nod of thank you to all the Megillah
readers.
We concluded March with the last of
our Shabbaton programs for the year. I
always look forward to the comedian and it
was such fun. Thank you to Trudi Bartow
and her committee for another year of
thoughtful, entertaining Shabbatot.
The Israel and NextDor committees
sponsored the “Brotherhood Jazz Night”
with Dan Meron and Maia Karo, both with
Brotherhood’s Hebrew School faculty. What
a wonderful, fun evening.
Now on to Nisan (April). Have you
started your Passover shopping and house
cleaning? Are you in a quandary about what
you should be doing? Don’t worry, we all
feel that way and there is always someone
at Brotherhood to help. You can’t walk thru
the supermarkets without seeing all the
offerings for “Kosher for Passover.” There
are so many more products now than when
I was growing up.
Brotherhood will hold a group seder
for the first night of Passover. I have been
attending these seders for the past 7 years
and they are wonderful. Rabbi Alder and
Cantor Weis conduct a very meaningful
seder, with a chance for all to participate.
April at Brotherhood is Annual Spring
Benefit time. Save the date, Thursday
evening, April 23. It’s also Yom Ha’Atzmaut,
Israel Independence Day. This is always an
exciting evening and what could be better
than supporting our wonderful Nursery,
Hebrew and Tikvah schools.
Enjoy the Spring sunshine! I hope to
meet you at services or one of Brotherhood’s
exciting programs.
L’Shalom,
Special thanks to Nancy Hornstein for being our volunteer coordinator and to our
many children who also volunteer at the shelter (some of whom are pictured here
with Nancy)!
4
The Brotherhood Synagogue
Judy Shapiro
Nisan / Iyar 5775
April 2015
Yom HaShoah
Commemoration
Yahrzeits
Thursday, April 16 • 7 pm
The Brotherhood Synagogue,
along with the Downtown
Kehillah, invites you to a
community commemoration
of Holocaust Memorial Day at
Town & Village Synagogue, 334
East 14th Street (between 1st
and 2nd Avenues). There will
be a guest speaker, musical
presentations, candle lighting
and memorial prayers.
^Garden of Remembrance
April 4-10
Victims of the Holocaust
Remembered in Our Garden
As we mark Yom HaShoa, observed on April 16,
2015 (27 Nisan 5775), we think of members of
families in our congregation who perished during
the Holocaust and whose names are memorialized
on the wall of our Garden of Remembrance.
Rivka Leah Aspis, Chaim Berglas, Herman Berglas,
Rachel Leah Berglas, Elvira Berkowitz, Regina
Berkowitz, Alma Bermann, Leo Bermann, Bertha
Brenman, Moses Brenman, Fanny Friedenstein,
Israel Friedenstein, Mina G. Friedenstein, Rosa
Friedenstein, Sonia Friedenstein, Hedwig
Friedjung, Boris Glucksman, David Glucksman,
Esther Glucksman, Helena Glucksman, Ilya
Glucksman, Lola Glucksman, Masha Glucksman,
Nadia Glucksman, Sasha Glucksman, Yetta
Glucksman, Zsayama Glucksman, Pincus P.
Goldman, Berish Goldreich, Sarah Goldreich,
Yitzak Goldreich, Adolph Hamburger, Bella
Hamburger, Ilse Hamburger, Joseph Hamburger,
Natalie Hamburger, Ibi Hausler, Rifka Hausler,
Frieda Heidelberger, Adolph Hirsch, Yaakov
Michel Hirsch, Abraham Hirschfeld, Bertha
Jacobowitz, Bertha Blume Jacobowitz, Fannie
Jakobovits, Kaethe Kelemen, Sandor Kelemen,
Ferdinand Kohn, Sophie Kohn, Avraham
Kolodicki, Feige Kolodicki, Wolf and Sarah
Lebowitz Family, Emma Anna Lowinger, Leopold
Lowinger, Miklos Marton, Elizabeth Nachmann,
Florine Nachmann, Julius Nachmann, Ruth
Nachmann, Gita Najberg, Tzvi Najberg, Margarete
Neumann, Rudolf Neumann, Benjamin
Orenbuch, Isaac Rabinowitz, Erwin Roth, Isidor
Roth, Mina Rubin Roth, Esther Rothenberg,
Joseph Rothenberg, Abraham Rothstein, Ida
Rothstein, The Family Rothstein, Max Rubin, Ella
Schaeffer, Hugo Schaeffer, The Family Schreier,
The Family Silberling, Samuel Stanger, Sari
Orovan Steiner, Feiga Trencher, Moses Trencher,
Ida Berger Veisz, Lajos Veisz, Avram Weissman,
Avrom Weissman, Hentshe Weissman, Hersh
Weissman, Lonka Weissman, Necha Weissman,
The Family Weygman, Emma Wolff, Josef Wolff,
Avrum Wolkove
And the children who perished.
Nisan / Iyar 5775
April 2015
^*Erwin T. Basch, *Gussie Biegeleisen, Olga Blum,
Rebecca Cinamon, Betty Cohen, Victor Danberg,
^Albert Eidelberg, Rose Erman, ^George Farkas,
^Fannie Feitell, *Louis Feldman, ^Isaac Feldman,
David Finkelstein, Martin Frey, ^Helen Friedman,
Harry Genzer, ^Stanley Glassman, ^*Sara Anna
Goldfarb, ^*Nathan Goldshlag, ^Bertha Gomby,
*Eva Passman Greenberg, Harry Gussman, Eddie
Hans, Irving Hattem, Roselyn Hauptman, *Harold
Irving Hill, Samuel Ir, *Samuel Jacobs, ^Nathan D.
Jacobs, Alex Kassin, *Isak Katz, Honon Kommissaroff,
Jeffrey Korman, Fred Kriegel, Owen Kupferschmid,
*Jules Lederberger, Jack Lederman, Max Leinweber,
Regina Handel Leslie, ^Saul Levy, Selma Licht Gold,
^George Markowitz, Molly Menschenfreund, Sylvia
Moskowitz, ^Harvey Nelson, ^Louis Offerman,
Philip Petchenik, Bertha Pollick, ^Jennie Rabinoff,
^Sadie Rickles, *Rose Rosen, Sharon Salant, Oscar
Saltzman, Hannah Schimel, Johannes Schmutzer,
Joseph Selterman, Rene Shapshak, ^Morris Samson
Sidran, ^Samuel Signer, ^Abraham Silberling,
^Michael S. Soloway, *Jacob Tepperman, ^Frank
Turtletaub, ^*Meyer Warmbrand, Leah Weisman,
Harry Wolf, ^Alexander Wolf, David Wolff, James
Yassky, ^Alice Zelmanowicz, ^Susan Zuckerberg
April 11-17
Eva Aaron, *David Aaronson, ^Lottie Abrams,
Sidney Alper, Sarah Altman, Jack Babitz, Rachel
Balaber, ^Irwin Bassett, Joel Berger, *Martin
Berkman*, Jack Berkowitz, Martin Blank, *Sarah
Block, Donald Brandt, *David Cagen, Paul Benjamin
Cohen, Elio Cohen, *Herbert E. Cohen, *Samuel
Eichner, *Mark Ellenbogen, ^Robert Fink, Edward
Fong, Jules Gaynor, *Dr. Samuel Gross, *Rose
Gross, *Saul Grossman, Frederick Hardenburgh,
*Hyman Herbst, ^*Henry Hodys, *Kati Jacobs,
Gizelle Joblin, Eva Kalish, ^Manya Kaplow, Esther
Kassin, Albert Kaufman, *Cornelius Joseph King,
Edith Kitt, Sheila Leah Klein, Millie Koppelman,
^Lillian Kosta, Alice Kresic, Shirley Krieger, *Phillip
Langer, ^Sarah Lebowitz, ^Wolf Lebowitz, Elizabeth
Levine, Esther Levine, ^Stanley Levitt, Ruth Lewen,
^*Carl Maisel, Daniel Mann, ^Blanche Mann,
Ruth Mason, Mona Chazin Mellis, Rosalind Miller,
Gertrude Miller, ^Larry Miller, Edward Moskowitz,
*Beatrice Nemser, Elsie Orbach, Jack Parker, Guta
Perle, Sophie Polk, *Rose Pollack, ^Benjamin
Protter, ^*Dora Robins, ^*Joseph Rofman, *Rose
Rosen, Murray Rosenberg, ^Anna Helen Rothbart,
Joseph Rothberg, ^Kalman Schindel, *Marcus
Schnapp, ^Pearl Settle, *Ruth Shaine, Vera Shapiro,
Nathan Simon, *Benjamin Siskind, ^Maxwell
Siskind, *Sidney Solomon, M.D., Mark Sonenblick,
^Dorothy Spatt, ^Florence I. Stark, Tilly Stern,
Minna Tornek, Belle Weissman
April 18-24
Luna Alhadeff, Saul Allenson, Albert Altaras, *Max
Bachrach, Dorothy Baumstein, Max Bledstein,
Gale Brown, Irving Chais, ^Bella Flame, ^Carole
Gelfand, Harry Gingold, ^Richard Glaubinger,
^Adele Hirsch, Robert Jacobson, *Dr. Jerome J.
Klein, David Lesser, Alexander Levine, *Marion
The Brotherhood Synagogue
*Book of Remembrance
Lipshie, Jacob Menschenfreund, *Jessie Meyer,
^Bertram Miller, ^Paul Newton, Elaine Niederhoffer,
^Marian L. Plotka, Jonathan Marc Ragovin, ^Sylvia
Regan, Samuel Rosenberg, ^Ben Rothstein, Sheila
Sagman, *Max Schlanger, Florence Sherinsky,
Claire Silverstein, Ella Soroka, *Harry L. Spindel,
^Kenneth Stark, ^Fay Stelzer, ^Rose Williamowski
Strauss, ^Henrieta Tarlow, Buddy Weiner, Dora
Wertzer, Rabbi Manfred Wimer, Garson Zeltzer
April 25-May 1
^Arlene Abramowitz, Albert Anes, ^Charles Bloom,
^Cynthia Blumenthal, ^Irving Bogash, Sylvia
Bronstein, ^Arthur Dorman, Paul Ellant, ^Irving
Feldman, Julian Fish, ^Sadie Flax, Herman Fox,
Ann Friedman, ^*Samuel J. Friedman, ^*Jeanne
Engel Friedman, Rose Gluck, Paul Goldman,
^David Goldsmith, *Herbert Gourse, ^Theodore
Green, Joseph Greene, ^Belle Greene, Ruth Hill,
^*Max Hofstetter, ^Leonard Kahn, Sylvia Korman,
^Leonore Soloway Lippman, Samuel Mandel, ^Ruth
Marlowe, ^Helen Millstone, Julia Moss, Edith
Penchina, Michael Press, ^Phillip Prichap, ^Sid B.
Prichap, Conrad Roland, Jacob Rootenberg, Joel
Rosenfeld, ^Irvin Russ, ^Laura Dee Russell, ^*Yetta
Gustin Safadi, Marvin A. Saltzman, *William
Schwartz, Billie Seffens, Leo Sigal, ^Cantor Samuel
M. Soloway, M. James Spitzer, ^Rose Williamowski
Strauss, Margit Sugar, Dorothy Unger
GRAMERCY PARK
MEMORIAL CHAPEL
353 Second Avenue New York, NY 10010
(212) 477-6334
The Brotherhood
Synagogue
28 Gramercy Park South
New York, N.Y. 10003
Phone: (212) 674-5750
Fax: (212) 505-6707
www.brotherhoodsynagogue.org
RABBI DANIEL ALDER,
CANTOR MIKE WEIS,
RABBI IRVING J. BLOCKZ’’L D.D.:
Founding Rabbi
HERMAN DIAMOND: Cantor Emeritus
SHIYA RIBOWSKY: Cantor Emeritus
JUDY SHAPIRO: President
PHILLIP ROTHMAN:
Executive and Education Director
Congregation founded in 1954
Historic Landmark Building
erected in 1859
5
Hebrew School News:
My Perspective as a Brotherhood Synagogue Student
by Ally Starishevsky, Kitah Hey (5th Grade Student)
M
y perspective as a Brotherhood
Synagogue Hebrew school student—
fun, cool, awesome and amazing.
When I come to Hebrew school, I
am usually excited to see my friends and
learn new things. It is always so awesome
discovering the new words of another
language. It makes me feel like I know
something my friends don’t. (Just to clarify,
that is a good thing). The teachers really
make Hebrew education fun. Somehow
they make it feel like it is not work at all.
We read Hebrew stories and play Hebrew
bingo for M&Ms—and the next thing you
know I’ve just learned something new
without even realizing it.
One of the best parts of Brotherhood
Synagogue are the teachers. They are
all so nice and don’t usually pile up the
homework. In my opinion, we shouldn’t
have homework at all. But then, that’s a
whole other topic and who is okay with
homework anyway?
The best part about Brotherhood
Synagogue are the experiences. One of my
favorite experiences was coming here for
the first time. It was so different and yet
so easy to make friends because everybody
was and is so nice and warm.
Speaking about new experiences—I
need to tell you about the school play. I
have been involved in the play for as long
as I have been at the temple, the past three
years. The play is always so much fun and I
love it! My favorite part about working on
the play is, well everything, but to be more
specific: hanging out with my friends and
just having fun. We even learned some
of the songs in Hebrew. Imagine singing
“It’s A Hard Knock Life” from Annie in
Family Shabbat
Please join us to welcome Shabbat
together with stories and song.
Friday, April 17
5:30 pm - Children up to 3 years old with
Daphna Mor
5:30 pm - Children 3-6 years with Gavi
Rubin in the Sanctuary
6:30 pm - Children Grades 2-7 with Gavi
Rubin and Phil Rothman on the 4th floor
Hebrew. It is the definition of having fun
and learning at the same time. There are
several activities that you can help out in
for the play, here are a few: You can be a
performer and act on the stage. You can
be part of the crew. Some things that the
crew does are: make the sets, create the
playbill and, obviously, be backstage. I can
tell you from experience both performing
and being on the crew rock!
Another thing that makes Brotherhood
Synagogue special—the kids! I have found
that you get so close to the friends that you
make at Hebrew school because you only see
them twice a week. While you might think
that you wouldn’t get to know them at all—it
is really just the opposite. I try to find out
everything that has happened to them since
I last saw them. That way, you are always
learning new things about them.
I think Brotherhood Synagogue is
awesome because you can do things that
you can’t do in regular school. Some
things that you can do are learn about
doing a mitzvah and then put what you
learned into action by giving tzedakah to
the poor. l
Once again, we will be publishing
our outstanding playbill!
The money
raised from
playbill
advertisements
will be used
to benefit the
Brotherhood
Synagogue.
You can place
an ad to honor
your children,
your friends or
to advertise a
business.
The ad
information form
can be found in
the weekly mail
or you can pick
one up in the
Hebrew School
office.
All ad forms and
payments must
be received
prior to: April 23,
2015.
Please note: all artwork should be in PDF or JPEG format only.
All contributors will receive a copy of the playbill.
6
The Brotherhood Synagogue
Nisan / Iyar 5775
April 2015
Nursery School Thoughts
by Isabel Schein
T
his year was one of those pop up
years. During my many workshops
on potty training, crib to bed, and raising
the bar on self-help skills, I have noticed a
significant reluctance on the part of parents
to move their children forward on these
developmental skills. For many generations,
age three was the marker for ending bottles,
pacifiers, cribs and diapers. The age of
resolving many of these issues is slipping
closer to 4. I have noticed a significant shift
on the part of parents to focus in on the
development of cognitive skills rather than
the enhancement of the ability for children
to do things for themselves, mastering the
potty and the change from crib to bed. To
this end a whole new support profession in
sleep training and potty learning has been
developed. I often hear from moms of three
year olds that their child is recognizing
letters, numbers, shapes, and recognizing
words in stories, but still remaining in cribs
and diapers. Children between 2.5 and 3
are very likely to be pros at using iphones
and ipads. I now hear numerous stories of
how little ones have figured out how to buy
and locate favorite apps on the iphone 6.
One father proudly shared with me how
his son grabs his hand because he needs the
fingerprint to activate the phone. I wish
that awe and wonder was directed at the
successful use of the potty, the art of falling
to sleep in their own bed, or the ability to
dress themselves. All these seemingly basic
tasks are part of a network of skills that
are crucial for nursery school children to
master.
Establishing rituals and routines in the
home is very important. Equally important
is how a child can handle change and go
with the flow. Will the child have a tantrum
or the flexibility and resilience to accept the
change in routine? Helping your child to
develop this ability to adapt will not only
make your life as a parent a little easier,
but it will also help your child’s readiness
to tackle the unforeseen changes he or she
will most certainly face at school and in
the world. One parent was very frustrated
with her child’s teachers. She had requested
that the teachers appoint her daughter as
the “weather helper” on a permanent basis.
When the child had this job she went off
to school without incident. Without this
assignment, the child was inconsolable.
The teachers explained why this would
not be possible, as all jobs in school are
shared experiences. The parent longed for
a bubble against frustration rather than
the messy process of helping her child to
adapt to life’s realities, one being “it is not
all about you.” As I watch the little ones
begin to take their “selfies” with their
parents’ phones, I am reminded of the
extra challenge this generation will have
in moving their children from “selfies” to
group shots. The words we aspire to hear
during nursery school are: we are a we ,
not a me, and I can do it myself. l
♪ Cantor’s Notes: If you cook for it, they will come ♪
by Cantor Mike Weis
I
t’s not every professional Jew who can
claim that for several years he boycotted
seders. And lest you think this is simply
a rehash of my last column in which I
boycotted Hamantaschen (I really did it!),
think again. No, this particular boycott
had nothing to do with whether or not
I liked matzah balls. At its core, it was all
about religion.
I was against it.
More to the point, I suppose, I simply
had no use for it. In my mid-twenties,
after years of being bored out of my
mind at seders, Chanukah parties and
High Holy Day services—the only Jewish
things I’d ever done other than Hebrew
school, which is a story in and of itself—I
declared myself finished with Judaism.
I was not interested in the communal
aspects of those events, or the primacy of
family at the Passover seder. They were all
religious rituals and they were expunged,
much to the consternation of my adopted
California family, who never understood
why I couldn’t just come to the seder
Nisan / Iyar 5775
April 2015
and be part of the family. After all, they
argued, “We’re not religious. It’s just us.
The seder doesn’t really matter.”
What? The seder doesn’t really matter?
Then why bother, I wondered? Why
not just have the family over for dinner
and play some parcheesi? What I have since
learned, and what most of us intuitively
know whether we actually have the words
to explain it or not, is that the seder
does matter…a lot. In fact, if you had to
identify one Jewish thing that has been the
secret of Jewish survival in a country like
America, with its unprecedented personal
freedoms, I think there’s only one logical
answer: it’s the seder, stupid.
But if the seder really doesn’t matter,
then why do even the most disassociated
Jews among us observe this mitzvah to
the exclusion of all others? The answer is
complex, I think, but it goes beyond the
songs, the symbols, the food, the company
or the haggadah. Could it be that no
matter how much we want to believe that
Judaism is just something that you ARE no
The Brotherhood Synagogue
matter what you do, we know deep down
that Judaism does require that we DO
particular things. And so, the one ritual
that seems to have survived American life,
when most if not all others have fallen by
the wayside, is the Pesach seder.
This is not to say that we should not
constantly be on the lookout for new
ways of making our sedarim vibrant
and engaging. But just because ten new
haggadot hit the bookstores every year
doesn’t mean that the old Maxwell House
haggadot that “our family has been using
forever” should be recycled just yet. Nor
does it mean that a five-hour seder (and
I’ve been to some) is necessarily any more
impactful than a sixteen-minute one can
be (been to plenty of those too).
And so, though there will always be
those among us for whom any seder is
too long, their continued presence among
us is proof enough that their Jewish souls
are alive and well within them. And that’s
good news for all of us. l
7
Brotherhood
Synagogue
Nisan / Iyar 5775
April 2015
✡ Saturday Morning: Shabbat Corner 9:45 am • Junior Congregation 10:30 am • Alef-Bet Club 11 am
Sunday
Monday
Tuesday
Wednesday
1
4 pm: Hebrew School
Thursday
2
Noon: Lunch & Learn
6:30 pm: Harmoni-AH!
Friday
3
7:30 am: Services for
the First-Born
2 pm: English-in-Action
Saturday
4
9:30 am: Services
7:04 pm: Candles
6:30 pm: Services
passover
first day
first seder
5
6
NO SCHOOLS
7 pm: Life Goes On
Book Club
7
8
NO SCHOOLS
NO SCHOOLS
9
NO SCHOOLS
10 am: English-in-Action
Noon: Lunch & Learn
5:40 pm: Minyan
2 pm: English-in-Action
10
12
10 am: Chesed
Committee Event
chol hamoed
13
4 pm: Hebrew School
chol hamoed
chol hamoed
14
9:30 am: Toddlers
10 am: English-in-Action
15
10 am: Baby Class
16
9:30 am: Toddler Class
Noon: Lunch & Learn
10:45 am: Toddlers
4 pm: Hebrew School
2 pm: English-in-Action
1:30 pm: Hadassah
Meeting
6:30 pm: Harmoni-AH!
3 pm: Thursday Corner
7:12 pm: Candles
passover
17
7:19 pm: Candles
passover-Yizkor
18
6:30 pm: Services
7 pm: Brotherhood Book
Club
5:40 pm: Minyan
shemini
yom hashoah
9 am: Tikvah
20
4 pm: Hebrew School
21
9:30 am: Toddlers
10 am: English-in-Action
rosh chodesh
26
9 am: Tikvah
27
4 pm: Hebrew School
22
10 am: Baby Class
11 am: Pre-Toddler Class
9:30 am: Toddler Class
Noon: Lunch & Learn
10:45 am: Toddlers
4 pm: Hebrew School
2 pm: English-in-Action
6:30 pm: Harmoni-AH!
3 pm: Thursday Corner
5:40 pm: Minyan
4:30 pm: Hebrew Corner
7 pm: Board Meeting
6:30: Schools Benefit
yom hazikaron
28
23
4 pm: Hebrew School
rosh chodesh
9:30 am: Toddlers
29
10 am: Baby Class
yom ha’atzmaut
11 am: Pre-Toddler Class
Noon: Lunch & Learn
10:45 am: Toddlers
4 pm: Hebrew School
2 pm: English-in-Action
4 pm: Hebrew School
6:30 pm: Harmoni-AH!
Purim
at Brotherhood
24
7:26 pm: Candles
6:30 pm: Services
25
9:30 am: Services
Bar Mitzvah of
Sam Keller
1 pm: Shabbat Club
tazaria-metzora
30 9:30 am: Toddler Class
10 am: English-in-Action
5:40 pm: Minyan
9:30 am: Services
5:30 pm & 6:30 pm:
Family Shabbat Services
4:30 pm: Hebrew Corner
4 pm: Hebrew School
19
9:30 am: Services
6:30 pm: Services
chol hamoed
11 am: Pre-Toddler Class
11
9:30 am: Services
6:30 pm: Services
passover
NO SCHOOLS
OFFICE CLOSED
3 pm: Thursday Corner
4:30 pm: Hebrew Corner
Thanks to all who our Megillah readers and spiel
performers and carnival volunteers!!!