Superconductivity jokes

1
1
- Did God create
superconductivity?
- Possibly not, because
instead of creating Earth he
would still play with magnet
levitating above
superconductor.
Little book of
SUPERCONDUCTIVITY JOKES
by
Pavlo Mikheenko
2
Superconductivity was asked
if she is of classical or
quantum nature. She
replied:
- I am really not sure, but
there are many Plank
Constants in my Birth
Certificate.
3
What are four basic
properties of
superconductivity?
- Zero resistance, ideal
diamagnetism, quantization
of flux and inability to fully
understand it.
2
4
5
- What is common between
superconductivity and
magnetism?
- Is any difference between
superconductivity and
magnetism?
- They both fooled physicists
for a very long time.
- Not really, but
superconductivity prefer a
cooler climate.
6
- Does superconductivity
belong to Chemistry or
Physics?
- It belongs to Hell: so many
chemists and physicists
twisted their brains trying to
understand it.
7
- What is the main
contradiction in
superconductivity?
- It is between ideal
conductivity, ideal
diamagnetism and non-ideal
world she lives in.
3
8
9
Two superconducting
magnets are talking in the
hospital. One is saying:
High Temperature
Superconductivity is talking
to Low Temperature
Superconductivity:
- You are the lucky guy: you
were damaged by eminent
Professors on Large Hadron
Collider, but I was destroyed
by a student who came first
time in the laboratory.
- You are lucky being
explained, but I hate
theorists. They are inventing
so weird mechanisms for me.
I really have nightmares in
the night.
10
- How to attract public
attention to
superconductivity?
- Say that Prince Harry has
been seen naked
accompanied by
Superconductivity
4
11
- Is quantization of flux in
superconductors God’s or
Devil’s invention?
- Surely Devil’s. Now
students must scratch their
heads trying to figure out
why it happens.
12
Superconductivity and Room
Temperature are coming to
the bar. Bartender looks at
them and says:
- Is it kind of joke?
13
If Party for Protection of
Superconductivity will get
power in next election, it will
forbid rising temperature in
rooms above 4.2 K.
14
- Was discovery of
superconductivity in 1911
accidental?
- No, actually superconductivity planned to
appear much earlier, but was
long thinking to whom to
reveal her: humans or ants.
5
15
Superconductivity can be
destroyed by high
temperature, high magnetic
field, high current and a
theorist passing sufficiently
close to the laboratory.
16
A superconductor girl is
asking mother.
– Mum, can I have a date
with a magnet?
- Sure, but stay cold and
keep him at a distance.
17
A superconductor is drinking
in the bar and thinking:
- One more hot drink and I
may exceed critical
temperature.
18
Theory of superconductivity
is known as BCS theory.
What BCS stand for?
- Be Careful Student.
6
19
Why electrons are united to
Cooper Pairs?
- What else you will do if you
are dropped into liquid
nitrogen?
20
Aliens stopped for a short
time on Earth, looked around
and concluded:
- Useless planet: too hot to
use superconductivity and all
hydrogen is contaminated
with oxygen.
21
Little girl asks:
-Mummy, what is the
Superconductivity? And why
when daddy stays long in the
laboratory he says: she was
so resistive today!
22
- Why housewives cannot
get Nobel Prize in
Superconductivity?
-They don’t understand why
so much fuss about
something that cannot be
used as dishwashing liquid.
7
23
Dying superconductor is
lying on the bed and
thinking:
- This time it is serious, it
seems it is Second Critical
Field.
24
Who is Semiconductor?
- He is older brother of
Superconductivity - less
successful in school but
more successful in business.
25
What superconductor eats
on breakfast?
Nothing special, liquid
hydrogen with crumbles of
solid air.
26
Father Magnet is looking at
his
new
born
child
Superconductivity
and
saying:
- She is not my daughter.
His wife replies:
-She is, she was simply born
on a very cold day.
8
27
Doctor is coming from the
birth room and saying to
Father Magnet:
- Nothing reassuring, Sir.
Superconductivity
again,
this
time
Room
Temperature
Superconductivity.
28
A superconductor walks
into the Jobcentre and says:
- I want a job.
The lady behind the desk
replies:
- I am very sorry, Sir. The
Liquid Hydrogen Economy
is not yet on. Please come
in 20-30 years.