Bridal Guide 08 24pgs

Transcription

Wedding
Extravaganza
2008
Noon to 4 p.m.
today
at the
Webster County
Fairgrounds
exhibition
building
Sunday, Jan. 13, 2008
2
Bridal Guide • Jan. 13, 2008
-Messenger photo by Sandy Mickelson
SOME BRIDES choose to get their something blue with colored stones in a tiara, such as this offering at Elaine’s Bridal
on First Avenue South.
More than luck: Brides seamlessly
incorporate blue into their look
NEW YORK (AP) — Brides probably
don’t know exactly why they’re wearing
something blue on their wedding day, but
they’ve been doing it for so long few want
to break with tradition.
Research traces an early printed version of the good-luck poem, ‘‘Something
old, something new, something borrowed,
something blue,’’ back to at least 1883.
Back then, there was another line attached
to the end: ‘‘And a lucky sixpence in her
shoe.’’
Superstition, yes, but why take a risk
on such an important day?
‘‘I guess I do believe in it — I did
it,’’ says Theresa DiMasi, editor-inchief of Brides.com, who wore blue
toenail polish at her wedding. ‘‘There’s
something that feels sort of solid about
it. But I also believe it’s a personal
thing — you can do it your way or not
do it all.’’
The most common way to add blue
these days is a blue garter, DiMasi says,
but there are more options than one might
think: makeup, flowers, jewelry, a sash,
or a little blue lace around the dress’ hem,
she suggests.
At the most recent round of bridal fashion shows, there were some lovely pale
blue dresses that have a hint of color but
maintain the cool look of a true white.
DiMasi particularly liked the Reem
Acra blue gowns, but she also acknowledges that it’s easier to incorporate just a
splash of blue.
Bianca Alexander, director of makeup
artistry for MAC Cosmetics, would reach
for blue eye shadow. Yes, blue eye shadow. A powder-blue matte shadow works
well for a 1960s-inspired, doe-eyed look,
she says, and will photograph nicely
whether the pictures are in color or black
and white. ‘‘It’ll just be a pop of color on
the lid.’’
The rest of the bride’s makeup should
be natural and neutral, with just a light
color on the cheeks and lips and a coat of
mascara — not blue mascara.
A more glamorous look would be a
pewter-colored shadow with a blue tone
to it. That, she says, could have a bit of
shimmer, but a matte shadow with a similar gray-blue eye liner is a safer bet if
you’re not used to wearing blue yet still
want intense color.
Bright blue is OK, though, when talking about jewelry. Mixing diamonds with
glistening colored gemstones has become
more popular for engagement rings and
wedding bands. And if blue doesn’t make
it to the rings, there are still necklaces,
earrings and bracelets.
For those unwilling to invest so heavily in a superstition, there are the disposable and more affordable blue flowers.
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3
GOOD FRIENDS Michelle Knapton, left, and Carrie Glew, both of Manson, are planning weddings this year, so they
help one another in the “What do you think?” stages of making their dreams come true. Shopping at A Unique Boutique
in the Crossroads Mall, Knapton tried on a Maggie Sottero mermaid gown, while Glew tried on a new spring line called
Sapphire by Alfred Angelo. The best thing about their weddings, the girls say, is they’re marrying best friends. Knapton
and Jake Thoma will be married July 26, and Glew will marry Matt Weishaar on Sept. 27.
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Wedding Extravaganza is today
Bridal show will offer everything necessary for big day
By SANDY MICKELSON
Messenger staff writer
January may not be the month of weddings, but it’s the month for thinking
about weddings.
That’s especially true with the 12th
annual Wedding Extravaganza, to be held
from noon to 4 p.m. today in the Webster
County Fairgrounds exhibition building,
off U.S. Highway 169 south of Fort
Dodge. The show is free.
Rachel Friesth from Younkers Home
Store and Jolene Hays of Hy-Vee’s floral
department are coordinators of the event,
put on by The Regional Bridal
Association.
“That’s just the people involved in the
show,” Friesth said. “That’s just what we
call ourselves.”
She said there will be 25 vendors at the
Extravaganza, and possibly more if there
are any late additions to the group. “The
list is changing daily with people trying to
get in at the last minute.”
This year’s continuous style show will
be different this year, with fashions
shown off at the vendor booths.
Julie Traster of Elaine’s Bridal, 1725
First Ave. S., said this change will keep
their models close to the booth so they’ll
be able to describe the gowns more completely to those interested.
“We’ll have some wedding gowns and
some bridesmaid gowns,” she said. “And
we’ll have a gentleman in a tuxedo.”
Elaine’s booth, she said, will offer the
range of wedding necessities, from jewelry, headpieces and veils to candles, guest
books and toasting glasses.
“Anything that you would need for a
wedding, we will have,” Traster said.
“Some of all of that will be there. We do
carry mother-of-the-bride dresses.”
Lynn Pedersen, owner of a Unique
Boutqie for Fine Bridal and Formal
Attire, agreed with Traster that keeping models close to the booth is a good
thing.
CARRIE GLEW, of Manson, looks for something in her purse while she’s
wearing a new spring gown in the Sapphire line from Alfred Angelo at A Unique
Boutique in the Crossroads Mall. Glew will marry Matt Weishaar on Sept. 27.
“If people have questions, then I can
talk to them about it,” she said.
Vendors of all kinds will show off their
wares, Friesth said. Many will have sample foods for tasting.
Door prizes from the vendors will be
given away every 15 minutes, plus there
will be more than $1,000 given away in
vendor certificates.
To this point, Fort Dodge vendors
at the Wedding Extravaganza will
include Elaine’s Bridals, A Unique
Boutique for Fine Bridal and Formal
Attire, the Country Club, Party
Productions, Hy-Vee, JC Music
Express, Younkers, Memories in
Focus, Larita’s Cakes ’N More, the
Eagle’s
third-floor
ballroom,
Foley’s, Travel and Transport, Green
Door Photography, TNT Mobile
Music, and Candies & More.
Out-of-town
vendors
will
be
Celebrations to Go, Lake City; Dodgen
Photography, Clive; Linda’s Calories
Gallery, Vincent; Pampered Chef,
Humboldt;
Morgan
Fredrickson
Photography, Gowrie; Fancy That
Catering, Clarion; Jina’s Cakes,
Goldfield; Howard Ball Catering,
Moorland; Celebrations, Ames; and
Royal Prestige, Des Moines.
Contact Sandy Mickelson at (515) 573-2141
or [email protected]
Bridal
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Elaine’s
Bridal
Bridal
5
Family affair
Make it easier for kids — and grownups — at destination weddings
By SHEILA MULROONEY ELDRED
For The Associated Press
As the bride and groom turned toward
each other to say their vows, the ocean
sparkled in the background and white
sand warmed the guests’ feet. The
moment was interrupted only by a toddler
— mine — yelling, ‘‘I want to sit in
Mommy’s lap!’’
I scooped him up, only to knock the
pacifier out of my 2-month-old’s mouth.
Her lips quivered, preparing for a fullblown wail. I popped it back in just in
time.
Double meltdown averted. Still, the
ceremony was a harrowing half hour for
me.
Bringing the kids along to destination
weddings — those that require travel to
exotic locales — has become a priority
and a challenge for many bridal couples
and their guests.
Brides and grooms who invite kids to
faraway weddings must consider everything from properly addressing invitations to bedtimes to custody issues.
‘‘If you’re asking guests to travel and
including children, you have to be doing
some research ahead of time,’’ says
Jeanne Hamilton, author of ‘‘Wedding
Etiquette Hell’’ (St. Martin’s Press,
2005). ‘‘The bride’s responsibility is
making sure guests are comfortable. If
you’re including kids, then you should
ensure the experience for kids is just as
pleasurable as it is for adults.’’
As for parents, it’s up to them to make
sure kids behave.
It can add up to one sticky situation —
in some cases, quite literally, says
Hamilton, who more than once has seen
the frosting get licked off the cake before
it’s served.
Whether to invite kids is completely up
to the bride and groom, she says.
Stephanie Clarke, a wedding planner at
the resort we stayed at, the Sheraton
Grand Bahama Island Our Lucaya, rec-
-Submitted illustration
DESTINATION WEDDINGS can take the bridal party from beaches to mountaintops, from weeklong concerts to a stay at a theme park.
ommends going for the full-family affair
if the location calls for it.
‘‘It’s an island atmosphere with sand,
sun and sea, and it’s not just about the
wedding,’’ she says. ‘‘It’s about relaxation and fun for the kids too.’’
Many guests with kids might just
RSVP ‘‘no’’ to a far-off wedding because
of expensive or complicated travel
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6
arrangements. Amy Swedberg and
Michael Hagen of Minneapolis found that
many of their invitees — including
Swedberg’s sister — couldn’t attend their
wedding in the Bahamas.
‘‘I’m going to be 37, and all my friends
had babies recently,’’ Swedberg says.
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Continued from Page 6
‘‘Three years ago, it would
have been one big party.’’
The couple is planning a
reception at home to accommodate friends, kids included, who
can’t make the trip.
Since many guests do, however, agree to come with kids in
tow, here are some suggestions
for brides and grooms trying to
make them feel welcome:
∫ Invitations: Etiquette says
envelopes should be addressed
to everyone invited, children
included, says Cindy Post
Senning, co-author of ‘‘Guide
to Good Manners for Kids’’
(Diane Publishing, 2006) and a
director at the Emily Post
Institute.
Swedberg and Hagen sent
invitations by e-mail, which
they realized later might have
been a mistake, in part because
it wasn’t clear whether kids
were welcome.
∫ Baby-sitting: Hamilton
suggests providing professional
sitting services during the ceremony and the later hours of the
reception.
∫ Diversions: Consider setting tables with paper placemats and crayons, stocking a
table with games during the
dancing and leaving gift bags
with small toys and snacks on
toddlers’ seats during the ceremony.
∫ Think twice about including children in the ceremony,
Senning says. ‘‘They could
freeze — or have a tantrum.
Some adults almost pass out
from the anxiety of being in a
wedding, so it’s no wonder that
kids will have screaming fits.’’
Parents should be prepared
to walk down the aisle with
their child, if need be.
And even if kids aren’t
directly involved in the event,
it’s parents’ responsibility to
make sure they don’t wreck it,
Senning says.
Some advice for parents:
∫ Plan an escape route: Sit
near an exit and be prepared to
use it.
∫ Designate an adult companion for each child:
Especially if you’re in the wedding party, make sure your
child has a trusted adult with
whom to sit, and play if need
be. Hand the friend a bag of
small, quiet treats, like
Cheerios or hard candy, with
instructions to dole them out
slowly.
∫ Or, find a babysitter.
Kristin
Benson
of
Minneapolis left her toddler at
home with grandparents when
she and her husband attended a
friend’s wedding in Charleston,
S.C. She did bring her 2month-old, who seemed to
enjoy the party in a sling
around mom’s neck. But
Benson says she would have
enjoyed herself more had she
been kid-free.
‘‘She was a trooper and slept
through most of the night, but
we didn’t get to fully have the
adult experience,’’ Benson
says.
As for me, after my son’s
outburst at the Bahamas wedding,
my
2-month-old
sobbed through most of the
dinner. Still, watching the
toddlers running through the
sand and dancing with abandon at the reception, I was
grateful kids were included
in the invitation.
Vera Wang likes
look of yesteryear
for today’s brides
By SAMANTHA CRITCHELL
NEW YORK (AP) — To talk about bridal fashion
trends is almost moot: Yes, there are subtle differences
from season to season but, in the end, the gowns are
almost always white, feminine and pretty.
A subtle shift away from floaty, ethereal gowns
toward more fitted, glamorous ones — as in Vera
Wang’s newest collection — actually is a notable
change. ‘‘The shape I was feeling for was extremely
fitted. It’s not something I’ve been doing a lot of,’’
says Wang.
A slinky, sexy silhouette is often easier to pull off in
bridal than in everyday clothes or even evening wear
because the market for show-stopping wedding gowns
tends to be a specific demographic: youthful women
eager to have all eyes on themselves.
‘‘It’s a finite group,’’ the designer says. ‘‘In readyto-wear, it’s from my daughters all the way up to
someone who is 60 — and I’m headed in that direction myself.’’
Wang, 58, won the Council of Fashion Designers of
America award as the industry’s top womenswear
designer for her ready-to-wear collections in 2005.
If the silhouette was going to hug the body, Wang
says, it became important to her to make the surface
details, including cabbage-rose corsages, interesting.
That led to a look that seemed rooted in the 1950s and
early ’60s on the Upper East Side of Manhattan,
though modern enough to be worn by the granddaughters of that era’s famed socialites.
‘‘Once I saw a little Jackie Kennedy in it, I knew we
were heading in a very sophisticated direction. It
reminded me of women who were the predecessors of
Jackie: Babe Paley and the other women Truman
Capote ran with,’’ Wang says.
‘‘That formality looks very new to me. The glamour
was fresh to me.’’
It’s also a classic American look, notes Wang. ‘‘It’s
sweet and racy. ... The women from the ’40s to the
early ’60s had a polish and a thoroughbred good look.
They were just to me what American glamour was
about.’’
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(515) 576-7491
(800) 362-2943
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7
Saluting the bridal couple in style
Experts offer tips for best choice
In recent years, wedding traditions have changed dramatically, and the bride and groom aren’t the only ones affected.
People postponing marriage until later in life and more couples living together before tying the knot are just a few of the
recent social changes impacting today’s weddings.
Gift-giving trends and pre-wedding rituals, like showers and
bachelorette parties, have also become more sophisticated and
complex. One could say that modern wedding celebrations are
more reflective of reality. Celebrating a marriage today is similar to making any relationship work. It requires understanding,
thoughtfulness and patience.
-Submitted photo
Gift giving
Finding the perfect wedding gift has never been more difficult. With the need for the traditional starter gifts minimized to
some extent by many couples choosing to live together before
they marry and a desire to choose something that really represents the couple, is there even such a thing as the ‘‘perfect wedding gift’’ anymore?
‘‘The key to finding the perfect gift is to try and match the
couple’s taste, and to celebrate what makes the relationship special,’’ said Angela Thompson, Everyday Cards Product
Manager for Target at American Greetings. ‘‘In designing
cards, wrap and accessories for weddings, we strive to create
products that are appropriate for a wide range of brides, grooms
and their guests.’’
Thompson offers the gifting tips:
∫ Let them know who it is from — be sure to add a little bit of
yourself to the gift.
∫ Give them a scrapbook with photos and keepsakes that
reflect times that you have spent together.
∫ Celebrate their relationship — a gift that comes from the
heart will mean a great deal to them, so take some time to really think about the couple when selecting a gift.
∫ A gift certificate for an experience that they can enjoy
together is a terrific idea. With health on the top of everyone’s
mind, many couples might enjoy a gift certificate for yoga or a
cooking class.
∫ In addition to being more health conscious, many couples
today are more socially aware. A gift in the couple’s name to a
charity that means something to them is a wonderfully thoughtful gesture.
Have some fun. In the end, you want the couple to enjoy
your gift, so take some time to enjoy the process of selecting
one. Instead of getting them an item for their kitchen, create a
basket of spices, fun cooking utensils and a homemade recipe
book. They will have as much fun using everything as you did
picking it all out.
CARDS CAN BE FOUND for any occasion from bridal
showers to weddings.
Pair a gift with a gift certificate to show thoughtfulness and
flexibility. Pick out a frame that would go with their decor and
give them a gift certificate from their photographer for a favorite
print to include.
Celebrating the bachelorette party
While friends and family have been influenced by changes in
today’s weddings, no group has seen more challenges than the
bridesmaids.
Celebrating established relationships and more independent
brides is a difficult task. To assist these loyal friends, here are a
few suggestions for bachelorette party themes:
∫ The traditional bachelorette party doesn’t have to be so traditional. One of the key elements of any good bachelorette party
is the location, so choose a spot that everyone will appreciate.
An area such as an outdoor shopping center will allow everyone
to come together for a manicure or spa treatment, go off on their
own to shop and then reunite for a casual group dinner.
∫ A night on the town. For those who like to celebrate, a
night on the town or a wine tasting at a local winery is a perfect
option. Another activity that can include everyone is a progressive dinner. You start out at a trendy location for drinks and
appetizers, move to a favorite restaurant for dinner and end at a
fun little spot to enjoy dessert.
No matter what option you choose, be sure that there is no
evidence. One American Greetings card, perfect for any bachelorette party guest of honor, is a reminder of this lesson. The
card features a pink color scheme and a camera on the front and
reads, ‘‘A night to remember,’’ the inside greeting continues,
‘‘and the pictures to prove it.’’
∫ Road trip or spa day. A growing trend is for the bridal party
to come together with the bride for a day trip or a day at the spa
to unwind from all of the planning just before the actual wedding.
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8
Brides choose to ‘trash’ the dress
N
TO
O D
O
N A
-4 Y
PM!!
By KATHY HANRAHAN
VICKSBURG, Miss. (AP) — Dustin Sanders of Ruston, La.,
loads his weapon with pink, orange and yellow paintballs, takes
aim and fires. His target: a $500 partially beaded wedding gown
worn by his bride of 4 months, Jessica.
As the paint blasts onto her gown, Jessica, 26,
screams. Then she holds up a paintball gun
and fires back, leaving her groom bruised
and painted pink.
A wedding photographer captures it all, then follows the couple as they wash off in a fountain.
‘‘It’s different, and we’re
pretty unconventional,’’
said Jessica, adding that
she and her new husband
didn’t want to destroy
the dress — just capture
some unusual pictures
that reflect their sense of
fun.
‘‘Trash The Dress’’
photo shoots like this
have become an offbeat
phenomenon across the
country. In many, brides
in white gowns simply
pose where they’re bound
to get wet or dirty: in the surf,
in trees, in cornfields, on horses, in trash-strewn city alleys, on
boxcars, on tractors.
Photographers say most such
shoots aren’t necessarily about destroying or damaging the dress.
‘‘It is just taking it in a place that you wouldn’t
normally go. Not worrying about it too much,’’ said photographer Adam Hudson of Ridgeland, Miss., who has shot
recent dress-trashes in the mud and at the State Fair.
‘‘I think that a lot of brides are getting tired of the stand-infront-of-the-altar shots,’’ he said.
Racheal Hollowell, who shot the Sanders’ paintball adventure
with her husband, Eddie Hollowell, agreed.
‘‘‘Trash the dress’ is such a harsh term,’’ she said, adding that
most brides opt for just a dip in a swimming pool, and the dresses are usually salvageable.
A year ago, Louisiana-based photographer Mark Eric created a Web site devoted to the Trash the Dress trend. ‘‘It’s
about creation, not destruction,’’ declares the site, which
has led to two sister sites: Trash the Dress Europe and Trash
the Dress Australia. The U.S. site features pages of photos
from around the country. David Baxter of Ohana
Photography in San Diego wrote on the site that such shoots
are ‘‘about letting a bride express her beauty in the dress
she has dreamt of wearing for so long, but will put away all
too quickly.’’
Limelight Photography in Tampa, Fla.,
started offering ‘‘Trash the Dress’’
shoots four months ago at a bride’s
request, said owner Rebecca
Zoumberos. That shoot was on
the beach and ended with the
couple having a sand fight.
Since then, Limelight has
shot four ‘‘trash’’ shoots
and plans a dozen more.
Zoumberos
likened
trashing a wedding gown
to bra-burning.
‘‘For the brides, it is
really liberating,’’ she
said.
And potentially costly.
In 2007, the research
group
The
Wedding
Report said the average
bride spends $1,564 on her
gown, and another $285 on
veils and headpieces.
Jessica Sanders said her parents bought her dress, and her
mother ‘‘wasn’t thrilled’’ with the
idea of trashing it. But her father,
John Toney, of Tallulah, La., showed
up to help.
‘‘This is going to open up a whole new
thing for people when they see all they can do,’’
Toney said.
The groom, Dustin Sanders, is an assistant manager at a fastfood restaurant and an avid paintball player. So the method of
destruction was obvious to the couple once they decided, soon
after their August wedding in Vicksburg, to trash Jessica’s
dress.
Jessica, an employee at Louisiana Tech University, enjoyed
having an excuse to wear the gown again. She said it would end
up hanging in the closet regardless of whether it was covered in
paint.
‘‘I’m glad we did it,’’ Jessica said, smiling at her groom.
After the paintball shoot, the couple cleaned up at a water
park. They were soon water-logged and nearly paint free, except
for the dress’ beading.
12th Annual Wedding Extravaganza 2008
Sunday, January 13th
FREE ADMISSION • Over 30 Booths on Display
Continuous Style Show • Prizes every 15 Minutes
Over $1,000 given away in Gift Certificates
Webster County Fairgrounds • HWY 169 South, Fort Dodge
9
Honeymoon needs planning, too
Tears, pleas may be
needed for effect
After 38 years of marriage, remembering back to the big day and even before
takes concentration.
I remember sitting in the car outside the
church on rehearsal night wondering why
there was no magic. I sneezed and pulled
a tissue from the box. It was stuck to the
tissue behind it and that to the one behind
it and so on until I had pulled almost 15
tissues out of the box — all stuck together in one long line.
There was magic, after all.
I met my husband in Eau Claire, Wis.,
where I’d taken a job as the woman’s editor. That was June. By Jan. 10 the next
year, we were married, but I came home
to do that. It never occurred to me to find
a church in Eau Claire for the ceremony.
I was going to get married in my little
church in Vincent.
Which kept the guest list on the small
side for a wedding. South Enes holds only
about 200 people. If you let some of them
sit in the choir pews, that is.
It embarrasses me to think about the
wedding. I should have been considered
too dumb to get married because I did
things in awkward fashion. I printed invitations with the reception information and
sent them before it dawned on me to
check if the community hall in Vincent
would be available for the reception. It
was, but the fact remains, I should have
checked first.
Today’s bride would never get away
with my stupidity, which makes me wonder if the simple act of exchanging vows
with someone might not be one of the
most involved affairs going today.
Some brides plan weddings two years
out just to get the right puzzle pieces. It
might take that long to book the reception
hall she wants on the same night the caterer she wants is free or the same night
when the band she won’t do without can
When We’re Together
SANDY MICKELSON
play. Oh, there are so many more pieces
to a wedding today than those I had to put
together.
My puzzle would have been one of
those eight-piece biggies for 3-year-olds:
Ask the minister what day he’ll agree to
do the ceremony, buy invitations and send
them, check the reception hall (which, of
course, is in the wrong order, even if it did
work), buy fabric and a pattern so Mom
could make my dress, ask my sister and
friends to stand up for me, ask Fred
Larson to shoot the ceremony, take our
Christmas hams out of the freezer, and
drive to the farm.
Of course, I drove to the farm several
times, but many of them were to do laundry too, so those times don’t really count.
I forgot. This puzzle had nine pieces. I
had to get my three front teeth before I got
married — Mom said so. She said no
bride should be married without her teeth,
but it’s a fair bet I would have gotten mar-
ried, teeth or no. Some things just aren’t
important.
My Grandma Frieda Hansch made the
cake for us. She frosted a fake cake, then
made sheet cakes for the guests. We had
nuts and mints, which Grandma also
made, coffee and punch. Can’t remember
if we had those cute little ice cream pieces
with frosted bells on it.
Church women from South Enes did
the serving, bless their hearts, and they
even sang happy birthday to me when I
stood in the kitchen talking to them. I got
married on my 23rd birthday.
After that reception, we had another
party at the farm where we served real
food. That’s where the hams came in —
Walt and I both worked at the newspaper,
and huge hams were our Christmas gift
that year. They came in handy.
It was almost 11 p.m. and many of the
guests had gone before we left. I love a
good party, and that was a good party.
We went to Tennessee for our honeymoon because my sister, Cindy, and her
husband, Dwight, who had been home for
Christmas, had to get back to Knoxville.
He was in the master’s program there.
Because they had to miss the wedding, I
decided we’d go see them instead.
Walt wanted to go west — he loves the
west — but a few whines and whimpers
convinced him to go to Tennessee. A new
husband almost always agrees with a new
wife, but the hint of a tear for effect never
hurts.
I’m thinking if ever we get around to a
second honeymoon, there will need to be
more planning involved. We’ve got passports now, but most vacations end up out
west somewhere, anywhere from Denver,
where our daughter lives, to the Puget
Sound area at the northwest corner of the
country. There’s a lot of space out there
we’ve yet to see.
So long friends, until the next time
when we’re together.
Contact Sandy Mickelson at (515) 573-2141
or [email protected]
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10
Shooting the honeymoon
Unless a destination wedding is planned to an exotic island, high on a mountain or to some other favored location,
thinking about taking pictures on the honeymoon may be the last thing on your mind. Digital cameras have made it
very easy to know if you actually got the picture you took or if you have a thumb or camera strap instead. So, before
the wedding plans gets crazy, make sure you’ve got extra batteries for your camera — or rechargable batteries and
a battery charger. If you’ve got one disk with lots of space, you might still consider buying a second disk. When you’re
out and having fun and the scenery is beautiful, it’s hard to stop taking photos. And, unlike the expense of developing
10 or 12 films, you can download the photos then start over. That’s not to say film cameras are obsolete, by any
means. If you’re used to a film camera and like the pictures, that’s the way to go — you don’t want to change up the
familiar when you’re more interested in having fun than figuring out a new camera. The photo above was shot on vacation in Colorado at Sprague Lake in Rocky Mountain National Park.
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11
The other half of the wedding: Groom-to-be takes part in planning
By JESSE HELLING
Messenger staff writer
There are developing countries that celebrate their independence with less fanfare
than that which accompanies a typical
American wedding.
For many of these affairs, planning and
execution are, for one reason or another, left
exclusively to the bride and her entourage of
sisters, mothers and well-meaning friends,
while the groom — who is vaguely aware of
the date of his impending nuptials — is
responsible for showing up in the tuxedo his
beloved chose and sporting the boutonniere
his mother pinned to his rented lapel.
When my fiancee Susan and I got
engaged last March, we decided that we
would buck both of these trends. Our wedding, we said, would not bankrupt a small
African nation. My contribution to the planning would involve more than merely nodding and that-looks-nice-honeying the decisions she made.
In the months since, I’ve heard many
former and future brides bemoan the lack
of participation from their partners in the
wedding planning process. To many, it
seems the phenomenon can be blamed on
simple ‘‘guyness,’’ which renders the
male incapable of offering any meaningful contribution.
The fact is, most men know little about
dress styles and color schemes. I believe
that most male Americans, myself included, would be just as happy getting married in their sweatpants in the nearest
parking lot than in the so-called storybook wedding.
This does not, I might add, indicate laziness or apathy on our part.
In the words of former President Gerald
Ford, ‘‘Behind every great man is a woman
who wonders what she ever saw in him.’’
Many men, myself definitely included,
are so thrilled by the thought of having
found someone better than we deserve, who
puts up with the nutty little grab-bag of
foibles we pass off as a personality, that the
nuts-and-bolts of the wedding ceremony are
something of an afterthought.
Though I know next to nothing about
some of the things we are planning (how
many shades of purple are there, anyway?),
I hope that by taking an active role I am, at
least, providing some reduction in Susan’s
stress levels. I like the fact that I have a
first-hand idea of what will happen on our
wedding day, so that I will be more than just
a highly interested spectator.
You’ve read my own thoughts and opinions to this point, which I realize are nearly
useless to anyone hoping to learn about
wedding planning from this section. Thus,
here is some marginally more useful knowledge and suggestions I’ve found throughout
my own engagement:
On buying an engagement ring
Though a girl’s best friend, diamonds are
a mystery — an expensive, pressure-ridden
mystery — to the average male. As such,
the popularity of the Easy Way Out — letting your fiancee choose her own ring after
you’ve popped the question — is not hard
to understand.
But for those of you who choose to do
things the old fashioned way, a bit of
research is in order. I found the Internet a
valuable tool, and there are numerous books
on the subject. Read them.
Despite having gathered useful information, you are likely to still be confused and
unsure. Fortunately, jewelry store sales
staff are used to dealing with your kind. I
visited several shops before I found Susan’s
engagement ring, and in all of them I dealt
with friendly, knowledgeable, not-at-allintimidating employees.
It helps to go into the ring-buying process
with at least an inkling as to what your
potential bride might like. Pay attention to
any jewelry she might wear regularly. You
might even consider quietly pawing
through her jewelry box and making note of
any common themes you may see.
A few subtle questions to her friends and
family might pay off, but be warned that it’s
quite tough to work jewelry into any conversation with your future sister-in-law
without raising a great big red flag.
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‘‘She hates the ring. My life is over.’’
No, it isn’t. Most stores have a return policy. The really nice sales clerks will tell you
this up front. If they don’t, find out how you
can go about making an exchange if needed
before you buy the ring. If she’s truly disgusted by your first choice, chalk it up as
one of life’s little mysteries and head back
to the store — together. A disclaimer: I
have no first-hand knowledge on this subject, as Susan loved her ring. At least she
says she does. But this raises a point: The
fact that you made the effort to choose such
an important symbol by yourself will likely
endear the ring to her in and of itself.
Start your planning. Do it NOW.
So she said ‘‘yes,’’ you lucky devil.
Congratulations.
Now get to work.
If the procrastinators of the world were to
band together and proclaim a Supreme
Leader of their kind, I would come out at
least in the top five. But that doesn’t cut it
when it comes to wedding planning.
Our wedding, as I’ve implied, will be a
fairly simple affair. Even so, the amount of
planning involved is quite large.
Churches and reception halls are
booked months in advance, as are photographers, deejays and bands. Dresses
and tuxedos require time to be ordered,
and once they arrive, require more time
for alterations.
If you’re planning on being married in a
church, there will be meetings and classes
to attend, which require scheduling and
enough time for completion.
Susan and I implemented a policy of
periodic meetings to take stock of where
we’re at. (Another disclaimer: we’ve
been better about holding said meetings
during some periods than others. Once
again, starting early is key.) Keep a notebook of what you’ve done, how much it
will cost, and what you have left to do.
Setting specific deadlines to accomplish
specific goals is helpful.
-Submitted photo
See PLANNING, Page 19
SUSAN HOESEL and her fiance, Jesse Helling, work on wedding plans for their June 21 marriage.
Photos for all occasions
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13
WHEN KATE DENCKLAU
married Mike Newman in
the summer of 2006,
they chose a fake tiered
cake decorated with
fondant frosting to
show to guests, then
served champagne
sheet cakes. A decorated petit for was
hidden behind the
faux cake so the
couple had cake
to cut and feed
one another
for pictures.
AMANDA AND ERIC PRATT chose
blue and white silk flowers to cascade
down a fondant-covered cake at their
wedding.
FONDANT FROSTING
makes a smooth cover
on a wedding cake,
although it might not
taste the best, said Linda
Dencklau of Linda’s
Calorie Gallery near
Vincent. The cake at left
will be on display at
today’s Wedding Extravaganza.
14
-Submitted photo
LINDA DENCKLAU of
Linda’s Calorie Gallery
near Vincent used
ivory fondant for this
fake cake, then hand
printed a verse chosen
by the bridal couple.
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15
Anniversary gift help found in list
By MELISSA KOSSLER DUTTON
When Laura and Bob Robertson-Boyd
sold their home several years ago, one condition was nonnegotiable: The lilac bush in
back of the house would move with them
to their new home in Bexley, Ohio.
‘‘It’s not a bush, it’s my fifth anniversary present,’’ Laura said.
The bush was her husband’s romantic
interpretation of ‘‘wood,’’ the traditional
fifth-year anniversary present. The couple, who celebrated their 10th anniversary in September, uses the list as a guideline for gift exchanges.
‘‘It takes much more planning and it
requires thought,’’ said Bob, 40. ‘‘The care
and special attention reinforces the original
idea of putting the other person first.’’
The idea of attaching symbolic presents
to particular anniversaries is centuries old,
and in modern times has been adapted as a
marketing gimmick by retailers.
Many couples still consult the list in a
nod to tradition, for a sense of whimsy, or
simply out of desperation when they can’t
come up with a gift idea.
The practice of giving silver for the
25th anniversary originated in medieval
Germany. The wood anniversary traces
back to a 17th century Celtic tradition of
giving a carved wooden spoon as a token
of affection.
In the United States, a list of gift ideas
for the first 15 years and every five years
after that was compiled in 1937 by the
American National Retail Jewelers’
Association. Paper (first year), copper
(seventh) and tin (10th) are a few of the
designated gifts.
Since then, an updated list adding jewelry and more high-ticket items also has
been created. Clocks join paper for year
No. 1, for instance.
It’s not uncommon for newlyweds to
start a tradition of following the list,
said Sheri Stritof, a marriage educator
who writes about anniversaries for
About.com. She and her husband, Bob,
regularly field e-mails from readers
looking for gift suggestions. ‘‘It’s a
real popular topic,’’ she said.
Chris Moyer pulled up the list on the
Internet as his first anniversary drew near.
He thought it would appeal to his wife’s
traditional and romantic side, and ended
up sending paper roses.
His wife, Elizabeth, was impressed, he
said. He figures he’ll use the list next
year, too.
‘‘It’s handy for me because I’m horrible at giving gifts,’’ said Moyer, who
lives outside Hartford, Conn.
The list gives guidance while still
requiring creativity, said Frank Zbacnik,
44, and his wife, Becky Moehring, 42, of
Columbus, Ohio.
‘‘It’s kind of fun,’’ said Zbacnik. ‘‘I’m
not as good as my wife is in coming up
with gifts.’’
Although they never discussed the list,
they presented each other with paper gifts
on their first anniversary, in 2004. She
wrote him a poem. He gave her a copy of
one of their wedding pictures that had
been artistically altered.
Other gifts since then have included
clothing, a wall hanging and a big screen
television. Cotton and leather are for
years two and three, respectively. The
modern
fourth-anniversary
gift?
Appliances.
Making the list an anniversary tradition
is a wonderful way to celebrate your relationship, said Robyn Freedman Spizman,
author of ‘‘Make it Memorable’’ (St.
Martin’s Press, 2004).
‘‘The tradition perpetuates your relationship, your values,’’ she said.
Laura Robertson-Boyd agreed, saying
the list also lends itself to inexpensive,
handmade gifts or special splurges. She
and her husband have done both. On their
first anniversary, they made each other
paper gifts. But for their seventh anniversary, they went together and bought a
piece of copper artwork for their garden.
‘‘Following the traditional list gives
you more freedom to think, ’What does
my partner like? What would my partner
enjoy?’’’ she said. ‘‘It allows you to be
more romantic.’’
List of traditional
and modern gifts
by year’s number
By The Associated Press
A partial list of traditional and
modern gifts for wedding anniversaries. This list was compiled by
librarians at the Chicago Public
Library’s Information CenterSources.
The traditional gift is listed first (with
alternatives in parentheses), and the
modern gift is second.
1st: Paper, clocks
2nd: Cotton, china
3rd: Leather, crystal, glass
4th: Linen (silk), appliances
5th: Wood, silverware
6th: Iron, wood objects
7th: Wool (copper), desk sets
8th: Bronze, linens, lace
9th: Pottery (china), leather goods
10th: Tin/aluminum, diamond
11th: Steel, fashion jewelry
12th: Silk, pearls, colored gems
13th: Lace, textiles, furs
14th: Ivory, gold jewelry
15th: Crystal, watches
20th: China, platinum
25th: Silver, sterling silver
30th: Pearl, diamond
35th: Coral (jade), jade
40th: Ruby, ruby
45th: Sapphire, sapphire
50th: Gold, gold
55th: Emerald, emerald
60th: Diamond, diamond
75th:
Diamonds/diamondlike
stones/gold
The library cites its sources as Anderson,
Charles, ‘‘The Exchange,’’ RQ 25, 1985;
The World Almanac and Books of Facts,
Mahwah, N.J.: World Almanac Books,
1997; World Book Encyclopedia, 1997.
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Ashley Thilges, of Grimes, holds her 11-month-old daughter Ava VanScoy to be measured for a gown for the wedding of Tiffany VanScoy, of Rockwell City, who watches as Julie Traster at Elaine’s Bridal measures the little girl.
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17
Planning wedding online can be good
Bride must be able to give up idea of ‘perfect wedding’
By KATHLEEN HENNESSEY
LAS VEGAS (AP) — My wedding felt like a blind date.
Not with my groom, of course — that part looked familiar.
But the rest — the village church with the bright orange walls,
the better-than-the-pictures flowers, the 1960s-era organ —
they were all nearly as new to me as they were to the 50
Americans I had persuaded to come to
Scotland for the event.
I planned my wedding entirely
online and lived to tell about it. In
fact, I’d recommend it.
Not that it was perfect. Had I
known about the orange
walls, I might not have gone
for purple kilts. But planning online, with a mix of
shrewd,
targeted
research and aimless
Googling, forced me to
accept something many
brides don’t realize until
crunch time: Perfection is
overrated.
Couples spent nearly $10
billion on ‘‘destination weddings’’ last year, according to
Mintel, a market research firm in
Chicago. No doubt much of this
expense was justified with phrases like
‘‘you only do it once’’ and ‘‘most
important day of my life.’’
Still, these same people, like me, take
sizable risks with the day and the cash. Many
don’t see the venue beforehand, and depend on online brochures
for information. Forty-three percent rated wedding Web sites as
influential in helping them pick a destination, Mintel found.
More than 20 percent used social networking sites, like
MySpace, and blogs.
Theresa DiMasi, editor-in-chief of Conde Nast’s Brides.com,
says many of the 1 million visitors who come to that online site
each month are looking for inspiration and stay for research and
community.
‘‘I think the Internet gives you much more opportunity and
accessibility to information. You’re a savvier shopper. You can
hear what other people have said about a vendor, or see people
who have negotiated deals and learn from awful experiences
other brides have had,’’ DiMasi said, adding that most people
leave the virtual world before cutting a real check.
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My fiance and I would have if we could have. There are
5,000 miles and a wallet-busting 2-to-1 exchange rate between
us in Las Vegas and his childhood home, Glasgow, our destination of choice. A planning expedition would have blown the
budget.
So my mother in Minnesota, my partner in planning, and I
turned immediately to the Internet.
We started with long sessions on the
phone, each at our respective computers, emailing links back and forth. A search for
‘‘Scotland wedding venue’’ would lead
to a link to ‘‘Inverness castles.’’ We
stopped only when we wandered onto
sites with pictures of men dressed as
William Wallace.
Her neck started to hurt. My cell
phone bill skyrocketed. I taught her
how to use Instant Messenger. It
was slow. If something looked
promising, we would e-mail the
venue, and often not hear back for
days. We could discuss a site for
hours, without having any idea
about fees or availability.
There is another way,
though I’m
not
convinced it’s a
better one.
Online
wedding clearinghouses
such
as
TheKnot.com and Brides.com, offer
a mix of planning tools, articles, and lists of
ideas, registry help and vendor directories. Both sites have
budget trackers that are far easier than an Excel spreadsheet and
are accessible to anyone who knows your password, making it
easy to share with, say, your mom. The scores of photos of
dresses, flowers and place settings on these sites can be habitforming.
But the vendor directories are filled largely with paid advertisers in the United States — an obvious limitation for the bride
wanting to go to an overseas or out-of-the-mainstream location.
Lacey Collins, a 24-year-old new bride from Sawyer, N.D.,
says she scanned Web sites for photographs and tips for traveling brides, but relied on a friend’s recommendation when
See ONLINE, Page 19
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Planning
picking a hotel for her wedding in Puerto Vallarta, Mexico.
‘‘I really trust this friend,’’ she said less than two weeks
before the day. Still, she found herself combing the hotel
review site Tripadvisor.com ‘‘probably weekly’’ for possible bad reviews or horror stories.
‘‘I keep thinking, is it really that perfect? Or are these
people just coming off this great time and writing great
things?’’ Collins said. ‘‘How can it be this perfect?’’
I know the feeling. When we found our venue — a country estate with just enough rooms to hold the Americans and
within easy driving distance of the Scottish relatives — I
ramped into reporter mode. Trust, but verify.
I asked for more photos of the grounds, and got 37 back,
with names and phone numbers of references. A good sign.
I trolled a British wedding Web site — Confetti.co.uk —
for reviews of my potential venue. Nothing. I happily discovered Indiebride.com, a site for anyone vaguely uncomfortable with the wedding industry. I was amused by the
advice on how to tell your family you’re eloping, and
relieved to see that no one mentioned my Scottish estate on
the site’s chat page, ‘‘Kvetch.’’
Feeling 70 percent assured that I knew all I was going to
know, and 30 percent desperate to make the decision and
move on, we booked it.
And so went my planning. We relied heavily on the staff
at the venue for recommendations, and then followed up
with our own research.
A recommended wedding singer sounded lovely on the
mp3 on her Web site, but we still asked her to sing a few
selections a cappela into the telephone before we sent a
check.
The florist and I landed on my bouquet through
exchanges of photos by e-mail. (So that’s what a thistle is!)
We chose the wine from a list sent by the distributor, much
of which I couldn’t find in our local store. Sans tasting, we
took a leap.
There were times, and that was one of them, when we felt
we were missing out on some of the fun.
And there were times when the curiosity nearly killed me.
I would have paid too much for a photo of the interior of the
church that generously opened its doors to American
strangers on a busy Saturday. The only one online was black
and white. The Internet had its limits.
But had I found one, it might only have allowed me to
believe that the church decor really mattered. Orange paint,
it turns out, looks pretty good as a backdrop for photos.
Aside from the night I met my husband, it was the best
blind date I’ve ever had.
Keep things in perspective
My mother, in addition to being an excellent lapel-pinner,
has often pointed out that a wedding is only the first day of
marriage. This raises an excellent point, and one I’ve
noticed that people sometimes forget while in weddingplanning mode: Making it to the altar is only the first step.
Even the most successful wedding doesn’t necessarily
translate into marital bliss. Going thousands-deep into debt
to finance a walk down the aisle will cause problems when
the honeymoon is over.
Remember why you asked her to marry you in the first
place, and keep that foremost in your mind. This will also
have the effect of making the planning process more fun and
pleasant, even if you’re missing the game to look at flower
arrangements.
I’m not an expert (which reminds me: Talking to a professional wedding planner isn’t a bad idea, either), but I
hope you can glean something useful from all of this.
The truth, I think, is that a wedding should be unique and
special to each bride and groom. Throughout the entire
process, Susan and I have done things our way. I hope you
do the same.
Contact Jesse Helling at (515) 573-2141 or [email protected]
Susan Hoesel and
Jesse Helling
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19
-Submitted photo
EXPERTS SAY it never hurts to talk about expectations of bachelor, bachelorette parties before they happen.
Parties gone bad can test relationships
Experts advise talking
to one another about
expectations, wishes
By MELISSA KOSSLER DUTTON
As the big day draws near, some brides
have more on their mind than seating
charts, centerpieces and last-minute
checklists. They’re worried about strippers and lap dances.
On Web sites and chat rooms, bridesto-be fret about whether the groom will
get drunk and do something unforgivable
at his bachelor party. They speculate
C
about whether his friends are the type to
pressure him into doing something he
regrets.
‘‘Things can go wrong if you add
booze and sex and guys that don’t get out
that often,’’ said David Boyer, author or
‘‘Bachelor Party Confidential’’ (Simon
Spotlight Entertainment, 2007).
Most bachelor parties, however, are
run-of-the-mill get-togethers where guys
drink beer, play poker or hang out, said
Boyer.
Gayle Cole thinks her fiancee’s party
got out of hand because he was showing
off for his best friend.
‘‘He wanted to impress him, not let
him down,’’ said Cole, of Los Angeles.
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When her fiancee came back a few
days before their wedding, she sensed
something was wrong. He confessed to
taking part in a show that three strippers
put on in a hotel for him and his friends.
She considered canceling the wedding.
Cole, 36, said she had believed him
when he said the evening’s main attraction would be a poker game, and she didn’t think to share her thoughts about
strippers.
‘‘I wasn’t worried,’’ she said. ‘‘He was
a nice guy. He was sweet. He could cook.’’
It never hurts to communicate your
feelings with your significant other, said
See PARTIES, Page 21
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Parties
Sara Myden, a wedding consultant in Los
Angeles.
‘‘That’s the sign of a healthy relationship,’’ she said.
Communicating expectations is critical, agreed etiquette expert Anna Post,
great-great-granddaughter of Emily Post.
She offers alternatives to a ‘‘night of
debauchery’’ in her book ‘‘Emily Post’s
Wedding Parties’’ (Collins, 2007).
‘‘Weddings are not the best time for
surprises,’’ she said. ‘‘Bachelor and
bachelorette parties sometimes include
surprises.’’
Such discussions are especially important when bachelor parties turn into weekend-long events in vacation destinations.
Peter Feinstein, managing partner of
Sapphire Gentleman’s Club in Las
Vegas, said his club hosts as many as 50
bachelor parties a weekend.
Melissa Detloff, 25, of Minneapolis,
trusted that her fiancee would not go to
a strip club for his bachelor party, but
she made sure to tell him how strongly
she felt.
‘‘My vote was, not at all,’’ she said.
‘‘It was nonnegotiable.’’
Her fiancee, James ‘‘J.D.’’ Seger,
respected her position. ‘‘I sat down with
all my groomsmen and said, ‘I know it’s
kind of expected to have strippers at a
bachelor party but I don’t want any. I
hope you’ll respect that.’’
Instead, his friends planned a weekend
of golfing in Palm Springs, Calif.
‘‘Everybody had an awesome time,’’
said Seger, 28.
The planning for Matt Ominsky’s
bachelor party is still in the works. But
his fiancee, Amanda Smerak, said she’s
sure it will include strippers. That’s OK
with her, as ‘‘long as we can tell each
other what we did,’’ said the 22-year-old
from Hartford, Conn. ‘‘If it comes to
where we have to hide it, that won’t
work.’’
John Phillip Beyel opted to have a
party with his fiancee and their friends.
The 24-year-old from Syracuse, N.Y.,
who married Michelle Lohf in October,
said he was more interested in spending
quality time with the wedding party than
celebrating some last night of freedom.
‘‘I didn’t look at it like that,’’ he said.
‘‘Michelle and I had been dating for two
and a half years.’’
When Tavis Sveto of San Francisco
and his pals plan a bachelor party, strippers are part of the package, he said. He’s
attended bachelor parties in Hawaii, Las
Vegas and Canada, and while a night at
the strip club is always on the itinerary,
the guys also like the chance to spend
time talking and partying. So far, none of
the brides-to-be have objected, said
Sveto, 33.
The group keeps a close eye on the
groom, he said. They always hold the
parties at strip clubs, which have strict
rules about contact between dancers and
patrons, rather than hiring dancers in a
hotel room.
‘‘This is not something that would end
a marriage or end someone’s engagement,’’ he said.
In Cole’s case, it did. She went through
with the 1997 wedding but could not forgive her husband for his actions and for
lying. She felt betrayed, and eventually
had the wedding annulled.
‘‘It’s an allegiance thing,’’ she said.
‘‘To me, a wedding is choosing each
other to be your family and come first.
But a bachelor party says, ‘Just remember, buddies have priority over all that
commitment.’’’
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Make your gift the best-dressed
Special by American Greetings
There are ways to make your gift the second-best-dressed
thing at the wedding.
With many people today waiting longer before they marry,
weddings have begun to reflect more matured styles. To keep up
with these fashionable weddings, guests are striving to impress
with the presentation of their gifts.
Angela Thompson, Everyday Cards Product Manager for
Target at American Greetings, says to be creative in presenting your gift, and if you are having trouble
coming up with ideas, let the gift itself act as
your inspiration.
Consider non-traditional color combinations. Since
every bride has her own style and taste in color, guests
shouldn’t feel limited by the traditional wedding
palettes.
‘‘Brides take a great deal of time in coordinating the
colors or tone of their weddings,’’ Thompson said.
‘‘The colors in a wedding reflect the bride and
groom’s personality, so matching your gift wrap
and accessories to their color scheme will ensure
a presentation more aligned with their tastes and
styles.’’
Accessorize. Weddings are a fun occasion, and
the gifts should reflect that. One easy way to
accentuate any gift is to embellish it with a
thoughtful or fun accessory.
‘‘Accessorizing your gift can add a little personality, which is perfectly in line with modern
wedding trends,’’ Thompson said.
One easy suggestion is to add a simple yet
elegant fabric flower as an unexpected bow
for the top of your gift. Think outside of the
box — literally.
While gorgeous paper and
accessories are always fashionable, a new trend in gifting is
for more personalized
presentations that reflect the gift-giver,
the couple or the ceremony.
‘‘Weddings today are very personalized, and guests are also getting
into the spirit,’’ Thompson said.
She suggests using the gift
itself as part of the presentation
to show off your own style.
‘‘You can actually use the
gift as a centerpiece or container to create a look that really
stands out,’’ she said. ‘‘For example, if you purchase a magazine
rack, use it to hold the rest of your
presents, such as a cozy blanket or
other items for the couple’s living
room. This will make your preparation much simpler and the result more
beautiful.’’
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VISIT US ONLINE AT STORYBOOKWEDDINGSBOONE.COM
BRIDES
Call 1-877-304-6855
710 STORY ST.
DOWNTOWN BOONE, IA
20% OFF
BRIDAL GOWNS
THRU. JAN. 31
23
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Wedding You’ve
Always Dreamed of...
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for your special day!
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Bridal Guide 08 24pgs

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