aftermath diy x-mas feature sgm special general

THE
VOL. 04
ISSUE 07
06.12.2011
SPECIAL
GENERAL
ISSUE
NEWS AND CULTURE FOR THE STUDENTS OF KWANTLEN POLYTECHNIC UNIVERSITY
SGM
WHAT HAPPENED
PAGE 2
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page two | December 06 2011 | vol. 4 issue 07
NEWS
The Runner | www.runnermag.ca
SGM
Twelve student association
directors impeached
Former Kwantlen Student Association director of operations Nipun Pandey gets involved in a heated exchange with students attempting to oust him from his position in the Cedar building courtyard outside the Nov. 30 special
general meeting. MATT LAW/THE RUNNER
NEWS
www.runnermag.ca | The Runner
vol. 4 issue 07 | December 06 2011 | page three
SGM
Five new interim board members appointed
I
MATT DIMERA
NEWS EDITOR
The vote was unanimous: 352 for, and zero
against.
Students braved pepper spray and multiple fire alarms to send a clear message to
the Kwantlen Student Association (KSA)
as they voted overwhelmingly to impeach
12 board members at a special general
meeting Wednesday, Nov. 30.
The meeting had to be paused twice.
The fire alarm was pulled and a noxious
substance released in the hallways where
students were registering to participate in
the meeting.
KSA council members Harman “Sean
Birdman” Bassi, Nipun Pandey, Balninna
“Nina Kaur” Sandhu, Parminder “Bobby”
Padda, Jaspinder Ghuman, Tarun Takhar,
Shivinder Grewal, Money Dhaliwal, Gaven Pangly, Simmy Grewal, Kamalpreet
Dha and Jagraj Hayre have all been removed from the board and placed in bad
standing.
A thirteenth council member named
for impeachment, Karamveer Dhillon, had
already resigned, but was also put in bad
standing.
“The Kwantlen Student Association’s
board of directors have brought shame
and embarrassment to the Kwantlen community,” said Richmond representative
Sasha Mirza, after she moved the motion
to impeach the 12 council members.
She criticized them for dropping the
civil case that alleged former KSA directors and staff members had misused more
than $2 million in student fees to commit
mismanagement and breach of fiduciary
duty. She further attacked them for not
revealing that some board members were
directly related to defendants in the case
and called the KSA’s recent hiring of Danish Butt, one of the defendants being sued
by the KSA only a month prior, “a shocking twist.”
“Kwantlen students deserve so much
better,” Mirza argued. “They need to be
reminded that it is us, the students, who
Richmond representative Sasha Mirza moved the motion to remove twelve KSA directors.
MATT LAW/THE RUNNER
are in charge of the Kwantlen Student Association and not them.”
Students present at the meeting cheered
and applauded as each motion passed
without opposition.
In order for the resolutions to succeed,
a minimum of 250 students had to attend
the special general meeting and 75 per cent
of those attending had to vote in favour.
Another 13 current and former students
and staff members were also placed in bad
standing: Aastha Arora, Gary Dhaliwal,
Justine Franson, Parmvir Lehal, Harman
Mann, Joty Padda, Mehtab Rai, Pavan
Sodhan, Yasser Ahmad, Jatinder “Joey”
Atwal, Danish Butt, Jaivin Khatri and Aaron Takhar.
As members in bad standing, all 26 are
barred from running and voting in future
student association elections.
Five transitional board members were
appointed at the special general meeting:
Christopher Girodat, Arzo Ansary, Devon
Richards, Ehssan Ghahremani and Sunita
Sohi. The resolution appointing the transi-
tional board members also directs them to
hire a general manager and a chief returning officer and to hold a general election as
soon as possible. According to the resolution, the new board members will not be
paid.
The KSA’s current board now consists of
nine students, including the four remaining council members who were not up for
impeachment: Langley campus director
Jennifer Campbell, Langley representative
Ken McIntyre, Richmond representative
Corbin Mountford and Richmond representative Sasha Mirza
The meeting was ordered because of
a 277-signature petition presented to the
KSA by Girodat earlier in the month requesting that the meeting (SGM) be held
Nov. 30 to remove 13 council members
and to install a new set of bylaws.
The petition alleged that the named
directors had brought “the Kwantlen Student Association into disrepute through
reckless decision-making and the irresponsible use of student funds.”
Petition organizers rallied in the Surrey Kwantlen courtyard before the Nov. 30 special general meeting to protest the actions of the KSA
board of directors. MATT LAW/THE RUNNER
page four | December 06 2011 | vol. 4 issue 07
IN PHOTOS
The Runner | www.runnermag.ca
SGM
Special general meeting chair Derek Robertson counts votes to oust members of the Kwantlen Student Association board and place them in bad standing with the society on Nov. 30 at Kwantlen Polytechnic University’s Surrey
campus. In total, 441 students attended the meeting and voted unopposed to remove the members. MATT LAW/THE RUNNER
Gurbaksh Dhaliwal, KSA International Students Liason,
addresses the crowd at the SGM. MATT LAW/THE RUNNER
Students vote without opposition to remove the KSA board and place several students in bad standing with
the association. A temporary board was also voted in unanimously. MATT LAW/THE RUNNER
A Kwantlen student holds a sign protesting former Reduce
All Fees president Danish Butt. MATT LAW/THE RUNNER
IN PHOTOS
www.runnermag.ca | The Runner
vol. 4 issue 07 | December 06 2011 | page five
SGM
Kwantlen student Reena Bali shouts at the current KSA board members
while the SGM was put on hold after pepper spray was fired in a
crowded hallway and a fire alarm was pulled. MATT LAW/THE RUNNER
KSA director of operations Nipun Pandey (centre) and president Sean Bassi (right) shout back at members of the opposition group while waiting outside
Kwantlen’s Surrey campus for the SGM to resume on Nov. 30. Both Pandey and Bassi were removed from their positions after students voted them out without
opposition. MATT LAW/THE RUNNER
Two private security guards block photographers from taking pictures of KSA board members while
they talk to Surrey RCMP after the SGM was disrupted by a fire alarm and pepper spray was set
off in a crowded hallway. MATT LAW/THE RUNNER
page six | December 06 2011 | vol. 4 issue 07
NEWS
The Runner | www.runnermag.ca
SGM
Removed KSA directors: “We’re the board”
I
MATT DIMERA
NEWS EDITOR
The five members of the Kwantlen Student
Association (KSA) executive who were
impeached at the Nov. 30 special general
meeting (SGM) have refused to recognize
their removal from the board.
Former executive directors Nina Sandhu, Bobby Padda, Jaspinder Ghuman, Tarun Takhar and Nipun Pandey attempted
to enter the KSA offices on the Surrey campus, Thursday morning but were barred
entry by Kwantlen security guards.
“We don’t recognize it whatsoever, they
don’t even exist as a board right now. We’re
the board,” Sandhu told The Runner.
The five directors were also accompanied by two former defendants in the lawsuit they recently settled with the KSA:
Danish Butt and Jatinder “Joey” Atwal.
A visibly angry Sandhu accused security manager Harry McNeil and the university of taking sides and allowing the new
board into the offices.
“Why have you given them the authority to be in the office?” Sandhu asked. “It
looks like you’re working for them.”
In addition to several Kwantlen security
guards present, a Surrey RCMP officer observed discreetly from the side, although
he did not get involved.
Addressing The Runner, Sandhu accused the organizers of the special general
meeting of not allowing her and the other
ousted board members to speak in their
own defense.
“We were barred,” she explained. “Ask
the petitioners of that meeting why we
were barred from the meeting. I’m a student. I’m an elected official. I was barred
from the meeting.”
Sandhu was unable to say who specifically was responsible.
“Someone told me I wasn’t allowed in.
He said you’re not allowed to get in. They
wouldn’t let us register,” she said. “If I was
let into the goddamn meeting, I could have
said my statement.”
Pandey, the former director of operations, said he was able to register for the
meeting, but claimed that he had also been
refused entry.
When asked to explain why not a single student voted against the motion to
impeach the board, Sandhu, Padda and
Pandey claimed that their supporters had
been too intimidated to attend.
“They were scared to come back because they got bear maced,” said Sandhu.
“Students were scared as hell,” said
Padda. “That’s all I’m going to say.”
Sandhu insisted that while she and the
other executives don’t believe that the
SGM was racially motivated, other students do.
“The majority of students who got
maced yesterday were Indo-Canadian,”
she said. “As a student association we have
said this is not a race issue . . . but we can’t
control the students.”
Earlier, Sandhu approached newly-appointed transitional board
member Arzo Ansary as
she walked by, asking her
to rectify the situation.
“I will find out what’s
going on and let you
know,” said Ansary before
retreating into the KSA offices.
“I need to get
into my office
and work. You do
not work here,”
yelled Sandhu. “I
work here.”
Shortly after,
Langley
campus director Jennifer Campbell,
one of the four
board members
who were not
impeached, came
out to speak with
Sandhu. The two
agreed to meet
later in the afternoon to discuss
the situation.
Nina Sandhu’s last tweet before being voted out of office at Wednesday’s special
“
I need to get into my office
and work ... you do not work here,
I work here.
NINA SANDHU
former KSA director of finance
general meeting.
“Everyone had just started fleeing; it was awful”
Six-month pregnant student gets pepper sprayed outside student association meeting.
I
SARAH SCHUCHARD
MATT DIMERA
When security guards scattered through
the hallway where students were lined up
to register for the KSA’s special general
meeting, Katie Walker didn’t give it much
thought, until the students present began
to cough and wheeze at the, “waft... [that]
came up the hallway.”
“My first reaction was, ‘oh my god, like
this is what they’ve done. They’re trying
to get rid of us,’” she recalls. “I should
have been panicking about something else
probably.” Katie Walker is currently six
months pregnant.
Walker, a third-year fine arts student,
was with students lined-up in the Cedar
building of the Kwantlen Surrey campus
to register to vote on the removal of most
of the then-current KSA council members.
In order for the removal to be successful,
250 students needed to be present in the
meeting. As numbers began to surpass
the required occupancy, pepper spray was
released in the hallway, followed by a fire
alarm, causing students to evacuate the
building.
“I had just turned around to thank everyone [when] everyone had just started
fleeing,” says Walker. “It was awful.”
She says she became involved with the
drive to oust the KSA council members after attending a council meeting.
“I went to one meeting and I just
watched them squash and bully; and just
blatantly disregard all of the rules ... it was
just atrocious.”
Walker was on the Surrey campus all
day Wednesday to encourage students to
vote. While standing outside in the cold,
waiting for local firefighters to air out the
building, she was even more determined
to return to the meeting.
“We’re just so happy that all these peo-
ple are here and we hope that this isn’t going to ruin it.”
Twenty minutes after the building was
cleared and the meeting was restarted, a
stink bomb was set off in another hallway
and the fire alarm was pulled again, temporarily stopping the meeting again.
After the second disruption, volunteers
were posted at all of the fire alarms in the
building, allowing the meeting to proceed
unimpeded.
Surrey RCMP say the investigation into
the incidents is ongoing.
www.runnermag.ca | The Runner
NEWS
vol. 4 issue 07 | December 06 2011 | page seven
KSA
Former KSA executives ordered off campus
KPU spokesperson says the matter is being investigated but can’t comment further because of privacy concerns.
I
MATT DIMERA
NEWS EDITOR
After being impeached Nov. 30, the five
recently-ousted executives of the Kwantlen
Student Association (KSA) were dealt another blow Thursday, when some of them
were presented with letters from the university and ordered to leave the campus.
Former executive directors Nina Sandhu, Bobby Padda, Jaspinder Ghuman, Tarun Takhar and Nipun Pandey were waiting
outside the Surrey KSA offices Thursday
after spending more than an hour unsuccessfully attempting to negotiate their way
inside, when several of them were handdelivered official letters on Kwantlen Polytechnic University (KPU) letterhead.
None of the five would explicitly declare
what was in the letters, but Sandhu mentioned that they had been temporarily suspended.
“It’s very serious on your part. I hope
you know that,” Sandhu told Kwantlen security manager Harry McNeil.
“We have [legal] counsel. You’ll be hearing from them very, very shortly,” said
Sandhu.
“They’re going to get a human rights
case filed on them soon,” said former KSA
director of operations Nipun Pandey after
reading one of the letters.
Sandhu protested that they had personal belongings in the offices and McNeil
agreed to let them in one at a time to retrieve them.
“I want you to understand that once
you’ve got your stuff, you must leave the
property,” McNeil told the former KSA officials.
Shortly before 1 p.m., Kwantlen security
escorted Sandhu, Padda, Ghuman, Takhar
and Pandey out of the building through the
parking lot and off of Kwantlen property
onto an adjacent sidewalk.
A Surrey RCMP officer observed the removal from a distance.
KPU spokesperson Joanne Saunders
confirmed that some students had been
escorted off campus Thursday but was unable to explain why.
“This matter is being investigated and it
is a serious matter, but at this time because
of privacy concerns for our students we
can’t comment further,” said Saunders.
KSA Langley director Jennifer Campbell
told The Runner that the issue was unrelated
to the student association.
“It actually has nothing to do with the
KSA,” said Campbell. “That is between
them and the school; we were not told
why.”
Nina Sandhu, former Director of Finance for the KSA, reads a letter presented to her by Kwantlen Polytechnic
University security before she and members of the ousted council are escorted off campus. MATT LAW/THE
RUNNER
Ousted KSA council members Nipun Pandey (right) and Bobby Padda, read letters presented from Kwantlen Polytechnic University before they are escorted off campus. Members of the former council were on campus demanding
access to the student association offices. MATT LAW/THE RUNNER
page eight | December 06 2011 | vol. 4 issue 07
EDITORIAL
The Runner | www.runnermag.ca
OPINION
When is sexy too much?
The Runner is student owned and operated
by Kwantlen Polytechnic University students,
published under Polytechnic Ink Publishing
Society.
Arbutus 3710/3720
12666 72 Ave.
Surrey, B.C. V3W 2M8
www.runnermag.ca
778-565-3801
Vol. 4, Issue no. 07
December 06, 2011
ISSN# 1916-8241
EDITORIAL DIVISION:
Co-ordinating Editor / Jeff Groat
[email protected] / 778-565-3803
AARONISNOTCOOL/FLICKR
American Apparel’s salacious advertising is provocative — and it works.
ILAURA COLLINS
American Apparel’s shock value advertising is getting people talking — and displaying young women in controversial poses is
a marketing strategy the company plans on
keeping.
According to Washington Square
News, American Apparel’s marketing campaign is based on a series of sexually exploitative ads that are seen as amateur pornography.
American Apparel photographs women
in a way the company views as honest.
These sexually provocative ads have often
been compared to companies like Victoria’s
Secret, who also display their models wearing very little.
Aaron Anderson, sales representative
territory manager for Lighthouse Brewery, said that American Apparel features
porn-stars in their ads with harsh lighting,
submissive posses and suggestive facial expressions.
“Victoria’s Secret takes a higher class
stance,” he said. The company focuses on
making their models look sexy, but “in a
more socially acceptable version.” Victoria’s
Secret features models who look powerful
and strong, rather than scared and passive.
Lighthouse Brewery also took a risk with
their advertising. They produced a handful
of provocative internet ads to make a statement and get noticed. The reaction was
very similar to that of the American Apparel ads. Some people were disgusted and
voiced their opinions, and a lot of talk went
around if people had seen the brewery’s
ads on YouTube.
“What it accomplished was get-
ting Lighthouse on people’s tongues, getting people talking about Lighthouse and
bringing it back to the forefront, regardless
of whether people agreed with the advertising or not,” said Anderson. “At the end of
the day, our sales are up.”
American Apparel is open about
sexuality, and the company’s ad strategy is
about tailoring different advertisements for
different demographics. Now Magazine in
Toronto says these shots are fairly nondescript, except for the fact that the company
uses real women, not models, and barely
legal porn can be detected in most of the
shots. Anderson said American Apparel is
doing this on purpose.
The problem behind this strategy,
said Anderson, is that they are actually creating a niche market. Those that are attracted to the ads are rebellious youth. “ O n c e
you go a direction, you have to stick with
it,” said Anderson. “It wouldn’t make sense
for them to all of a sudden change their format … because you’re confusing the message. You have to pick the personalities for
your product and then roll with it.”
Roughly 70 per cent of these ads
are targeted towards women. The reasoning
behind this, said Anderson, is that women
audiences see these ads and have a sense of
vanity to fill, and purchase the clothing so
that they can be just as sexy as the advertised women.
Now reported that some audiences
said the low-grade photographs degrade
women and undermine the labour-rights
message American Apparel promotes. Others defended the campaign, saying that in
“stitching multiple identities into one shirt
– naughty, political and brand-free – Ameri-
can Apparel could be positioning itself to be
the iconic outfitter of the decade.”
Controversy is free publicity. If a company buys one ad for $4,000, then that ad
gets talked about on blogs, social media and
in print — all for the cost of one ad. Without the controversy American Apparel ads
create, the company would have to pay six
times as much in advertising to reach the
same number of people. From that perspective, Anderson said, it is good business.
“They are taking a direction that constantly produces controversy. They are
willing to break boundaries and push the
buttons of the advertising world,” said Anderson.
American Apparel’s CEO, Dov Charney,
told Now that people who say the ads are
derogatory to women are behind the times.
“They’re old-thinking conservatives who
are repeating false arguments or arguments
that may have been true 30 years ago based
on a context of social, cultural and political dynamics of another era. But right now,
the women in the photographs and young
adult women today I think celebrate the
aesthetic of our advertising.”
The specific ads that reveal more skin
than clothes are just “branding American
Apparel itself and not focusing on any one
specific product,” said Anderson.
This makes it difficult to decipher
what American Apparel’s ads say about the
company. “It is hard to read corporate culture for any company based on its advertising. They pay advertisers top dollar to give
them the image regardless of what the corporate culture is,” said Anderson.
“This is a product for young girls
to try and look sexy.”
Culture Editor / Kristi Alexandra
[email protected] / 778-565-3804
News Editor / Matt DiMera
[email protected] / 778-565-3805
Production Editor / Antonio Su
[email protected] / 778-565-3806
Media Editor / Matt Law
[email protected] / 778-565-3806
SENIOR WRITERS:
Senior Culture Writer / Chris Yee
Senior Entertainment Writer / Mike Shames
Senior Features Writer / Lliam Easterbrook
CONTRIBUTORS:
Sana Sohel, Max Hirtz, Jacob Zinn, Sarah
Schuchard, Bianca Pencz, Sarine Gulerian,
Laura Collins, Catherine Campbell, Courtney
Burt, Jay Cabalu, Kirsten Sedore, Caroline
Safaniuk, Chelsea Lawrick, Andres Salaz,
Roxanne Charles
Cover Art: Matt Law
BUSINESS DIVISION:
Operations Manager, Ads, Classifieds DJ Lam
[email protected] / 778-688-3797
Office Co-ordinator / Victoria Almond
offi[email protected] / 778-565-3801
Funds are collected by the university and
channelled to PIPS via the KSA.
www.runnermag.ca | The Runner
FEATURE
vol. 4 issue 07 | December 06 2011 | page nine
ARTS
fall
arts
review
Inside Wilmer
Courtney Burt
23”X33”
Charcoal on paper
I have chosen my Grandpa, Wilmer, to use as
my subject matter for this semester. Recently
I began to experiment with different methods
of applying charcoal while creating portrait
images, allowing me to focus on the process
of drawing and painting rather then trying to
draw an image with photographic qualities.
Leaving the photograph behind, I created a
portrait of my Grandpa through my memories
of him. I have now become fascinated with the
process of creating a portrait rather then what
the portrait actually looked like. My inspiration in creating this portrait of my Grandpa
came from studying the works of Francis Bacon and the techniques practiced by Jackson
Pollock. The combination of Bacon, Pollock
and my ability to show my thoughts, visions
and feelings through someone other then myself as the subject evolved into this portrait.
Using my ability to envision or see images and
shapes in things led me to work backwards
with the process of drawing.
[email protected]
page ten | December 06 2011 | vol. 4 issue 07
FEATURE
The Runner | www.runnermag.ca
ARTS
The Apopriation of Sasha
Fierce (detail)
Jay Cabalu
40” x 60”
Mixed media collage
The Apopriation of Sasha Fierce
comments on the process by
which popular culture
appropriates gruesome subject
matter and sensationalizes it
for mass consumption.
The image references
advertising and propaganda
using imagery from Beyonce’s
Video Phone music video as
well as Roy Lichtenstein’s
seminal work Whaam!. The
image was composed mainly
of newsprint and magazine
clippings creating a work
that uses forms of media to
discuss media.
[email protected]
www.runnermag.ca | The Runner
ARTS
Untitled
Kirsten Sedore
39 “ x 50”
Graphite on paper
I drew inspiration from artist Robert
Longo’s Men in the Cities series that
depicts sharply dressed business men
positioned in twisting motion. With
my piece, I chose to use present-day
attire that reflects a popular style
of today’s youth (the leather jacket,
hoodie, and chucks). The backwardsfalling motion and the turned away
face objectify the figure, giving
the image a feeling of disconnect.
With Longo’s figures, some have
their faces shown and some do not,
the figures are caught in more of
a natural way, and the clothing is
solid black, flattening the figures. To
make sure my piece was not entirely
derivative of Longo’s, I chose to use
only graphite to create texture and
value throughout the figure.
[email protected]
FEATURE
vol. 4 issue 07 | December 06 2011 | page eleven
www.runnermag.ca | The Runner
ARTS
Rips and Tears
Caroline Safianuk
Ceramic, collage & mixed media
Formally, in this multi-faceted
piece, the juxtaposition is meant
to elicit harmony, balance,
and unity. The contrasts of
the firing techniques (raku
and gas reduction) are both
complimentary and diverse.
This art work is a conceptual
piece. The central idea embraces
the notion of difference; for
instance, the “categorical rules”
of people’s social environments
have a direct relationship to
what I would call a “disorder”
— a segregation of people’s
minds and spirits. Recently,
I have developed a new
appreciation for the importance
of relationships and social
interactions. On one hand, it is
difficult to encapsulate many
elements of happiness. On the
other hand, I admit that part of
what makes me feel happy is to
be connected to people and the
world that surrounds me while
embracing everyone without
reserve or judgment. I only
learned this by making mistakes.
Furthermore, my own pursuit
of selfishness and undesirable
pleasures never made me feel
anything except lonely and
vacant in my heart. Ultimately,
no one is perfect. The idea of
what is “right “ in a legal sense
does not always correlate with a
moral reason. The archaic world
around me suggests that there is
so much more to happiness than
what or who is in front of me. I
now beg to differ. The creation
of this project, the relationships
I fostered throughout, and the
result of my expressiveness,
makes me feel happy and
content.
[email protected]
SECT
TION
vol. 4 issue 07 | December 06 2011 | page thirteen
VICTIM 1 (part of diptych)
Chelsea Lawrick
20” x 24”
Digital print
In this image I have digitally
layered photographs of the
twenty-six women Robert William “Willie” Pickton is accused
of (already charged for, in some
cases) murdering. I have created one face – a face of a woman
who has never and will never
exist. I am interested in the effects mass dissemination has
on the meaning of an image.
The work is meant to comment
on and critique the over use of
images, the notion of the icon,
and the loss of meaning and
identity through this mass dissemination of their images in
groups. The identity of the actual women who were murdered
has been lost, and instead their
images have become a stand
in for the murders themselves
and for William Pickton. When
we as viewers see their faces
we probably think of Pickton
before we think of who these
women actually were as individuals. They are no longer
their own person but rather a
collective Victim, almost a Jane
Doe.
chelsealawrick.com
[email protected]
page fourteen | December 06 2011 | vol. 4 issue 07
FEATURE
The Runner | www.runnermag.ca
ARTS
the very deniable certainty of existent afflictions
Andres Salaz
48” x 65 “
Oil on wood
My work is about the power of irrelevance. It reflects the impact that boredom and tediousness in every-day life inflicts on itself. It shows the immutable apathy of lukewarm
decisions. It mocks the constant heavy weight of living and not being aware of being alive. It is about the contrast between the flavourless choice of being nothing and the unavoidable
and painful qualities that an active and meaningful life must contain. It is also a celebration of life, elevating the seemingly futile actions above the heaviness of comfort, acceptance
and death. My work represents duality, but it also lies; it pretends to stand for something, it pretends to hide from everything, and it creates questions that no one should care to
answer or even ask.
negation--delirium.tumblr.com
[email protected]
www.runnermag.ca | The Runner
FEATURE
vol. 4 issue 07 | December 06 2011 | page fifteen
ARTS
Spirit of the Phoenix
Roxanne Charles
2.5’ x 2’ (approximately)
Acrylic on paper
This piece explores the idea of transformation in both
the physical and spiritual form. This particular piece is
a story about a woman and the various struggles she has
faced. The fire represents these struggles and the use of
color reminds us that there is beauty in even the darkest of things. Despite her vulnerability the figure stands
strong amongst the flames for she has the Spirit of the
Phoenix. Born from a dark history, she has risen above all
odds and began her transformation. The flames are very
much a part of her. This design, like much of my work,
reflects the two very different worlds in which I live, embracing both my traditional views and western values. I
enjoy melding Salish design with sexual depictions of the
female form because it has traditionally been hard to differentiate male and female figures. I wanted to show the
beauty of the female body in a strong and dignified way.
www.runnermag.ca | The Runner
CULTURE
vol. 4 issue 07 | December 06 2011 | page sixteen
POP
Culture Roundup
Your biweekly revue of pop-culture –– from the amusing to the irreverent
Britney’s 30!
Everyone’s favourite pop-tart mess, Britney Spears, turned 30
on Dec 2.
The former Mouseketeer has gone through a lot during her
career –– which, by the way, started when she was just three.
From being a Disney starlet to her 48-hour marriage to her
head-shaving mental breakdown, she’s the one star that all
gossip rags love to hate and hate to love.
They’ve even taken a few stabs at her devastatingly adorable sons, Sean Preston and Jayden James.
With seven completely manufactured albums under her
belt, a couple films, two marriages, some kids and one psychotic episode, the girl –– wait, now a woman –– has made
quite a life for herself in just three decades. Love it or hate it.
Muppet Movie
A $2.5 million degree?
Remember that time that Jim Henson designed the Teenage Mutant Ninja
Turtle costumes in their movies? Well, Jim Henson was also responsible for
a couple other characters of the past, and now they’re coming back in a new
movie.
Just in time for the holidays!
www.runnermag.ca | The Runner
CULTURE
vol. 4 issue 07 | December 06 2011 | page seventeen
LIVE MUSIC
The Sounds turn up the volume
I
JACOB ZINN
CONTRIBUTOR
Even on the last night of their North American tour, The Sounds clearly weren’t jetlagged from the non-stop travel schedule
when they played Vancouver.
The Swedish ’00s-era new wave group
blasted through a 17-song setlist at the
Commodore Ballroom on Tuesday, Nov.
22, and they turned up the energy as
much as the volume.
The venue was filled with hipsters
wearing thick-rimmed, non-prescription
glasses and drinking Pabst Blue Ribbon,
but pretentious crowd aside, the headliners put on a concert that wasn’t exclusive
to skinny social outcasts with godawful
moustaches.
The opening acts —The Limousines
and Kids At The Bar — made what I assume was music, but they were overpowered by their pulsating bass that made
the ballroom vibrate until your earplugs
popped out.
Drummer Fredrik Blond literally
kicked off the show with “It’s So Easy”
and their latest single, “Dance with the
Devil”, from 2011’s Something to Die For.
Frontwoman Maja Ivarsson weaved
operatic verses around glittery keyboards
and orchestral sound effects.
Ivarsson, channelling her inner Debbie
Harry, excited the crowd as she started
singing “Seven Days a Week” from their
2002 debut album, followed by “No One
Sleeps When I’m Awake”.
“It feels pretty fucking good,” she said,
looking out to the spandexed, neon, plaid
flannel, tight-‘n’-bright (fashion-unconscious) audience.
The band was a slithering silhouette
The Sounds singer Maja Ivarsson channelled her inner-Debbie Harry on the Commodore Ballroom stage on Nov. 22. MAX HIRTZ/THE RUNNER
on a chameleon backdrop of sapphire
blue, violet and chartreuse low-lighting,
contrasted by violent, blinding strobes
that compromised the ambiance.
“The No No Song” brought a prominent synthesized melody and a catchy,
electric hook by lead guitarist Félix
Rodríguez heading into “Something to
Die For”.
The crowd got in a tizzy over “Song
with a Mission” as Ivarsson paraded
on stage and did high kicks in her short
dress, unafraid of the exposure.
Proving she’s the anti-diva, Ivarsson
emerged onstage after “Better Off Dead”
with a cigarette and a beer (not PBR), going into the ballad “Night After Night”.
“I want to see your cameras … cell
phones … lighters … crackpipes,” she
said as a few dozen Bics and Zippos went
in the air.
“Just kidding.”
The energy in the ballroom multiplied
with “Painted by Numbers” and an upbeat performance of “4 Songs & a Fight”
upped it even more into “Dorchester Hotel”.
The relentless vivacity wouldn’t let up
as keyboardist Jesper Anderberg started
off “Ego”, a surefire in-demand track, and
the thumping “Yeah Yeah Yeah”.
They wrapped up their main set with
their second single, “Living in America”,
and left the stage for several minutes only
to come back to finish what they started.
“It’s the last show of the fuckin’ tour,
so let’s go fuckin’ crazy tonight!” Ivarsson yelled going into the encore.
The show descended into an uptempo,
cymbal-clashing, fist-pumping, strobe-lit
fiasco, in the best sense of the word.
They closed with the dance-punk
hit “Tony the Beat” from 2006 and the
electronic anthem “Hope You’re Happy
Now” off Living in America.
By that point, the fans were more than
happy.
The Sounds got the youth on their feet
and shook them to their knees, leaving
the ballroom floor with more shoe marks
than ever.
Go to runnermag.ca/2011/11/the-soundsturn-up-the-volume to see a full photo gallery of The Sounds show.
page eighteen | December 06 2011 | vol. 4 issue 07
CULTURE
The Runner | www.runnermag.ca
LIVE MUSIC
Kyuss Lives! is still alive and kicking
Kyuss Lives!, formerly known as Kyuss, continued its stoner-rock legendry without ex-bandmates Josh Homme and Nick Oliveri at the Commodore Ballroom on Nov. 23. JACOB ZINN/THE RUNNER
I
LLIAM EASTERBROOK
SENIOR FEATURES WRITER
The artists formerly known as Kyuss played
a sold-out show under the pseudonym
Kyuss Lives! at the Commodore Ballroom
on Wednesday, Nov. 22, bringing fans of
stoner-rock back for a shot of sweaty, boozy
nostalgia.
Kyuss Lives! played a stellar set, rushing
through their back catalogue like a meth
addict searching for a lighter, the songs
blending into one another with little or no
separation.
The band packed a 16-song set into just
over an hour — everything up-tempo, everything sonic. I’ve never seen so many
sweaty, boozy, wasted 30-somethings falling into shirtless, sweaty, boozy, wasted
skinheads in all my life.
Hailing from Palm Desert California,
Kyuss Lives!, who reunited without guitarist Joshe Homme (Queens of the Stone
Age, Them Crooked Vultures, Eagles of
Death Metal) — and respectfully changed
their name in his absence — were also without prominent bassist Nick Oliveri (also of
Queens of the Stone Age), who could be facing jail time in the near future for drug and
firearm possession.
Perhaps the rest of the band just really,
really, really missed the road.
And like a polar bear bulks up for a winter, they looked like they had been packing
on the winter weight for travel, with lead
singer John Garcia resembling a fat Jim
Morrison on stage — a Morrison trying his
best to sing like Geddy Lee.
The stage backdrop was a mural of a setting sun blistering out crows flying — circling — undoubtedly searching for decaying carrion drying from the hot desert sun.
I felt like I was being taken out into the
dry night for peyote frenzy. A goddamned
frenzy I would welcome with gusto, naturally.
The band opened with the psychedelic
“Gardenia”, then moved quickly into “Hurricane”, “One Inch Man”, and “Thumb”.
From there the trip out sand-side moved
ever faster into my personal favourites,
“Freedom Run” and “Asteroid” — feeling
more spaced out than ever — or maybe
that was just the fury of all the hash being
passed around and the number of beers I
had spilled on me. I don’t know.
The feedback was deadly; the guitars,
heavy. And although Homme and Oliveri
stayed home, Kyuss Lives! still felt like the
fucking undead on stage, zombiefying our
psyches with a blaze of testicle-fueled bravado and head-butt-to-the-nose rock and
roll.
Visit runnermag.ca/2011/11/kyuss-lives-isstill-alive to view a full photo gallery of the
Kyuss and The Sword show.
CULTURE
www.runnermag.ca | The Runner
vol. 4 issue 07 | December 06 2011 | page nineteen
REVIEW
Vinyl Dust-off: Soundgarden’s Live Before the Doors
I
LLIAM EASTERBROOK
SENIOR FEATURES WRITER
3.5/5 records
In 1996, just before Seattle alt-rockers
Soundgarden decided to call it quits after
over ten years as a band, they were on top
of the rock and roll world. Pearl Jam had
intentionally stepped away from the limelight, Kurt Cobain was dead, and Alice in
Chains was riddled with drug addiction
and singer Layne Staley’s Heroin-induced
reclusiveness. That’s not to say Soundgarden was the last band in line after the
Grunge dust settled to carry on the Seattle
scene, but they were, for all intensive purposes, the only band left still willing to
take that torch.
Released this past Black Friday, Live
Before the Doors features five songs from
various soundchecks on the I-5 leg of their
1996 tour. (The live compilation Live on
I-5 was released earlier this year). What
we hear on Live Before the Doors is Sound-
garden preparing for a show. The band
is tight and easy, just jamming, working
out any kinks — albeit kinks that sound
like splintering wood, grinding gears and
machinegun fire. Singer Chris Cornell, a
self-described alcoholic through the ‘90s
(he’s gone on record stating he needed “a
glass of vodka every morning just to get a
dial tone”), seems to still be suffering from
vocal damage he sustained in 1994. He’s
often off key, seemingly unable to harness
his unbelievable range. The morning vocal instabilities he seems to be experiencing don’t take away from the performances (he sounds cleaner and more controlled
on Live on I-5). Even at soundcheck Cornell
still sings better than most, and with more
power than a sandblaster aimed headlong
at the milky skin of an infant. Yeah, I just
said that.
Not since Motorhead has a band blended punk and metal to such a unique and
genre-bending degree. But Soundgarden
go one step further, binding psychedelia,
pop and garage rock to their punk-metal
aesthetic. The highlight of the EP is the
cover of “Waiting for the Sun,” the Doors’
broodingly psychedelic trip from Morri-
LLIAM EASTERBROOK/THE RUNNER
son Hotel. Soundgarden take an already
eerily atmospheric song and make it
heavy and thrashy while delicately main-
taining the ethereal mood of one of the
Doors’ best songs.
Play it loud. Play it proud.
REVIEW
Ever After leaves a feeling of nevermore
I
MIKE SHAMES
SENIOR ENTERTAINMENT WRITER
2.5/5 records
EASTSCENE/FLICKR
Vancouver based Marianas Trench has been
a well-known band that has achieved moderate success with its pop-punk sound. In
the past, the songs have been quirky, original and fun, while still having a punky
sound.
But things have changed.
Ever After is a disappointment. It’s still
Marianas Trench, but this would count as
their “selling out” album, as much as a poppunk band can sell out.
The punk flavour has been replaced
with a distinctive dance floor vibe. Not a
totally bad thing, but there is one song that
nearly destroys the album completely, “Toy
Soldiers”.
Sampling from other artists seems to be
a standard practice, but let’s call it what it
really is: stealing, or ripping off. And Marianas Trench seems to be reaching for the
bottom of the barrel straight away, “Toy
Soldiers”opening sample is “Tik-Tok” by
Ke$ha.
When I first heard it, I was expecting to
hear that drunk buffoon slur her way onto
the album.
All they did was change the key and
maybe the tempo, but play them simultaneously, and you can definitely hear it.
The best thing I can say about this whole
shift to a more club-based sound, which ev-
eryone and their dog is doing (featuring Lil
Wayne or Pitbull, of course). At least they
aren’t Hot Chelle Rae.
By that I mean, they managed to stay
appealing without being phoney, prepackaged, half-assed wannabes.
The best comparison is Good Charlotte’s
2007 album Good Morning Revival.
They are both albums where the bands
actually tried, and tried something different
than their past pop-but-still-punk sound.
Both are solid albums, I still enjoy Ever
After and tap my foot to most of the songs,
but the attempt has backfired, making the
album forgettable and unimpressive.
Hope they will learn from this, and better luck on the next album.
page twenty | December 06 2011 | vol. 4 issue 07
CULTURE
The Runner | www.runnermag.ca
YOUR DAD
Stuff Your Dad Likes: Christmas classics
Jacob Zinn can’t give you fatherly advice, but he can embarrass you in front of all your friends.
I
JACOB ZINN
CONTRIBUTOR
It’s that time of year.
The time when pine trees are cut down
by the dozen. The time when eggnog is
spiked with rum.
The time when the same, old, boring holiday specials are the only thing on TV, other
than that fireplace loop on Channel 4.
You might be content with watching A
Charlie Brown Christmas for the 16th time,
but your dad isn’t. He saw it when it first
aired in 1965. He’s lost all pity for Charlie
and his twiggy tree.
He isn’t into the ho ho ho, chubby Santa
Claus, Frosty the Snowman-type cartoon
Christmas movies. He wants the greatest
Christmas movie of all time: Die Hard.
(Spoiler alert! Stop reading now if you
don’t know parts of the Die Hard series.)
Some are of the argument that Die Hard
isn’t a Christmas movie, pointing out that it
was a summer blockbuster and calling it an
“action film.”
Those are accurate observations, but
there’s something so heart-warming and
seasonal in watching John McClane single-
handedly kill 13 terrorists and save 30 hostages from a party gone wrong on Christmas
Eve. New York’s finest cop makes it to Los
Angeles just in time to spend the holidays
with his family. If that’s not Christmassy, I
don’t know what is.
Even if your dad is a last-minute gifter
who pounds on closed storefronts on Dec.
24, he deserves a good present under the
tree.
If your dad already has the 1988 film,
perhaps you could get him other John McClane merchandise. Or, if you want something more subtle, how about an argyle
sweater? (Get it?)
Be sure to pump Run-D.M.C.’s “Christmas in Hollis” when your dad comes home
from work. If he truly loves Die Hard, he
will catch the reference.
And when you watch the movie this
month and your aunt asks, “Don’t you
have any Christmas movies?” say, “This is
a Christmas movie!” (And throw in a “Yippee kai yay, motherf**ker!”)
Let your dad watch a yuletide film that
doesn’t make him want to stab himself in
the eyes with icicles. A Christmas movie
with a vengeance.
RISTOK/FLICKR
DIY XMAS
Creative gift ideas on a student budget
I
SANA SOHEL
CONTRIBUTOR
With a crackling fireplace, hot chocolate and
warm fuzzy pajamas, Christmas season is finally here.
Santa may be making his rounds Christmas Eve, but he sure won’t be adding any
more dough into your stocking.
But fear not! You can laugh your way
through the season of giving without your
bank account feeling super light.
Here are three ways to give the most
meaningful, most precious gift without feeling wiped out by the end of December.
1
Memory Jar: I made memory jars for my
grandparents last year and surprisingly, they
loved them. Plus, they are super duper easy
to do. All you need is a jar, some paint, some
photographs and trinkets or bows, or any
such accessory. Paint the jar, any way you
want – hint: make it festive. Roll up some
photographs, write or type out some of your
most memorable times together and place
them in the jar. I rolled mine into cylindrical
shapes to make them look like candy canes.
You can add candy canes and chocolates and
perhaps some Santa figurines. Tie it up with a
bow and you’re all set.
2
Custom Cookbook: Not only is this gift
amazingly easy, it is thoughtful and
ideal. Get together all the its and bits of recipes your mum, grandma or any other recipient has scribbled, cut out, or saved, and type
them out. Gather pictures, and since it’s custom, add your personal touch to it: e.g. add
pictures of them cooking, or of you cooking
with them. Compile them in any way you
want, bind it, and voila! You have it. If you
don’t mind spending a few extra dollars, and
you can, get the front cover in hard copy.
3
Video It: My neighbors did this last
year as Christmas cards, and I loved the idea,
so I’m going to share it with all of you this
year. They enacted out their favorite Christmas Carol – Deck the Halls – and they edited it into a festive video and sent them out
through email, mail (CDs) and all possible
other ways. It was different, unique and perfectly Christmas-y!
Add in a few treats from your custom cookbook: it’s
easy and thoughtful. SANA SOHEL/THE RUNNER
CULTURE
www.runnermag.ca | The Runner
vol. 4 issue 07 | December 06 2011 | page twenty one
MUSIC
Your alternative holiday mixtape
I
BIANCA PENCZ
CONTRIBUTOR
“Christmas at the Zoo” by The Flaming
Lips
Holiday standards range from fun to irritating. You can only hear “Simply Having
A Wonderful Christmastime” on a loop for
so long before wanting to roast Paul McCartney’s chestnuts on an open fire. Happily,
there are alternatives…
Probably the weirdest yuletide track you’ll
hear this winter, it’s less about Christmas and
more about liberating animals.
“Christmas Time” by The Darkness
I can’t think of a better gift than hearing Billy
Corgan sing lines like, “There’ll be toys for
everyone.”
I’ve always said the seasonal soundtrack
needs more double-tracked guitar solos and
British falsetto.
“Christmastime” by the Smashing Pumpkins
“Father Christmas” by The Kinks
“Please Daddy (Don’t Get Drunk This
Christmas)” by The Decemberists
There really is no inappropriate format for
anti-capitalist satire.
No one likes dealing with that relative who
downs the eggnog before dinner’s even started. Before googling “how to murder discretely,” play this John Denver update.
“Don’t Shoot Me, Santa” by The Killers
“Christmas Bop” by T.Rex
Marc Bolan’s ego was no secret, but “T.Rexmas”—really? Since he wrote the catchiest
glam rock of all time, I guess he’s forgiven.
What I said about The Lips having the weirdest holiday song? I take it back after re-listening to this. “Oh Santa, I’ve been killing just for
fun…” Amazing.
“I Wish It Was Christmas Today” by Julian
Casablancas
Good for 364 days of the year.
“Blue Christmas” by Bright Eyes
Liable to turn your Seasonal Affective Disorder into full-blown depression, Conor
Oberst’s warble makes this a heartbreaking
Elvis cover.
GENERATION BASS/FLICKR
“A Snowflake Fell (And It Felt Like A Kiss)”
by Glasvegas
Snow is the great secular joy of the festival
season. We can’t agree on religion, but we can
all agree snowflakes are pretty. For that, it deserves this ode, which is almost prettier.
BOOKS
Noteworthy new novels
I
KRISTI ALEXANDRA
CULTURE EDITOR
If there’s something the holidays are almost
never about, it’s having time alone. Between family gatherings, staff parties and
friend get-togethers while holiday shopping, you’ll hardly have a moment to sit
down and enjoy lonesome silence.
In the off-chance that you do have a
spare hour or two, and you actually want to
do some between-semester reading, check
out the following new book releases.
Tip: they both pair nicely with a glass of
winter wine or a holiday hot toddy.
1
Diana Gabaldon’s The Scottish Prisoner
I might have a personal tendency to read
like an old woman, and if you do too, then
you’ve been devouring Gabaldon’s Outlander series books year after year. When
these thick, historic time-travel romances
come out (all nine of them), it’s like it’s your
birthday. Now coming out with spin-off
The Scottish Prisoner following Outlander’s
dreamboat warrior, Jamie, this is sure to be
another engaging read.
2
Chuck Palahniuk’s Damned
Thanks to his fame from Fight Club, Palahniuk is one of the most well-loved writers
amongst well read youngsters –– which
is why it’s fitting that his latest novella is
narrated by an 11-year-old boy who regales
the tale of a young girl who ends up in hell.
Literally.
page twenty two | December 06 2011 | vol. 4 issue 07
CULTURE
The Runner | www.runnermag.ca
WINE
A glass a day keeps
colon cancer away
The French Paradox observes that French people suffer less from coronary heart diseases, even in light of
the fact that their diets consist of high amounts of saturated fats. Could it be the wine?
I
THEGIFT73/FLICKR
SARINE GULERIAN
CONTRIBUTOR
We know about apples, but it may also be
true for wine: A glass or two of wine a day,
may in fact, keep the doctor away. Or at
least for a while.
The French Paradox is a name for an observation, made by Dr. Serge Renaud, that
French people suffer less from coronary
heart diseases even though their diets consist of high amounts of saturated fats.
The reason for this may be the amount of
wine that they consume in their everyday
diets.
Almira Spiller, Events Coordinator at
the Everything Wine store, located in South
Surrey, insist that wine can be beneficial to
your health. Benefits include preventing
some heart diseasesa nd prostate cancer in
men. It can lower your blood pressure, reduce diabetes, and help with clogged arteries in your heart and legs.
“Drinking wine after a heart attack can
help keep your arteries clean,” she said.
Spiller suggests one to two glasses a day,
but that number depends on your height
and weight. She recommends that you
“check with your doctor, see what your
body can handle. Don’t over-do it.” Your
body will only benefit from wine if you
drink it in moderation.
Unfortunately, for people who don’t
drink alcohol, non-alcoholic wines don’t
have the same benefits. “I think it’s the
combination of alcohol and antioxidants
and the polyphenols in the grapes that react together which causes the benefit,” said
Spiller.
It’s also good to avoid wines that have
added sugars because they have more calories and are unhealthier.
For those who experience allergic reactions when they drink wine, organic might
be the answer.
“Everyone is allergic a little bit to alcohol,” said Spiller. If you switch to an organic
wine, it usually lessens the side effects. “But
it depends on how big the allergic reaction
is in certain people.”
“The health benefits are the same in regular and organic wine but for some people,
they might be able to drink the organic wine
over the non-organic.”
Organic wines are easy to find. Spiller
admits that several wines in her store are,
in fact, organic but are just not properly
labeled. “They don’t advertise it because
there is still a little bit of a stigma when
it’s organic,” she said, referring to the belief that organic wine has inferior qualities,
“but that’s not true.”
Spiller also recommends red wine over
white. However Anahad O’Conner, in her
article “Really? The Claim: Red Wine Is Better for You Than White” at The New York
Times, seems skeptical of that statement.
She argues that it seems to be a tie between
the two. “One study found that red drinkers
had a significantly lower risk of colon cancer than white drinkers,” she writes, “but
the researchers later explained that among
other things, the white drinkers were also
more likely to smoke, which could have
made the difference.”
The colour you choose depends on
your taste and preference. The amount you
should drink depends on your height and
weight. And the type of wine depends on
your bodies reaction. Wine is good for the
general public, but the specifics depend on
the drinker.
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www.runnermag.ca | The Runner
FASHION
vol. 4 issue 07 | December 06 2011 | page twenty three
FILMS
Winter wardrobe
Holiday movie preview
I CATHERINE CAMPBELL
I
Winter is upon us, there is no denying it.
With temperatures nearing zero degrees,
many of us are looking for stylish ways
to keep warm. Here are some tips and
trends.
Scarves: not only do they keep your
neck warm, they can also serve as a pop
of colour or pattern to spice up any outfit. The possibilities are endless: faux-fur,
knit, animal print, floral, the list goes on.
Check out Le Chateau for plain coloured
scarves (they have every shade imaginable), or Aritzia for patterned scarves.
Also, check out YouTube for different
tutorials displaying how to wear your
scarf.
With finals coming up, a lot of us
are into loungewear to keep cozy and
comfortable while studying. Hit up the
Kwantlen bookstore for sweatpants and
hoodies, a must-have for any Kwantlen
student.
There are tons of different jacket options this winter. Motorcycle jackets can
give you an edgier look, while trench
coats give a more classic look. Pea coats
come in a variety of colours. They don’t
come with hoods, so throw on a scarf or
hat to keep warm. Visit Old Navy for
jackets; they carry a variety of colours.
Boots, perfect for rain and snow.
They can be worn with just about any-
CATHERINE CAMPBELL/THE RUNNER
thing and not only are they stylish, they
keep your feet warm and the rain and
snow out. Boots with fake shearling are
big right now and give you a hiker-chic
look. Check out Spring for their version
of the boot.
Plaid is always a good option for winter. It ranges in many colours and patterns. Pretty much anything can be found
in plaid: dresses, tights, pants, scarves,
jackets, skirts and shirts. You can either
go all out or focus on one plaid piece.
When wearing plaid, try to keep your
other pieces in the same hue. Almost every store has their own version of plaid
but check out Vancouver’s own TNA.
Happy shopping!
CATHERINE CAMPBELL/THE RUNNER
THORSTAN GURLACH
THE LINK
BURNABY, B.C. (CUP) — With award
season just around the corner, it’s time to
preview some of December’s most anticipated films.
Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy — Dec. 9 Oscar may just be calling to Gary Oldman for
his performance as George Smiley, a disgraced British spy who is hired in secret
by his government which fears that the
British Secret Intelligence Service has been
compromised by a double agent working
for the Soviets. The film is based on John
Le Carre’s Cold War novel of the same
name and like the book, expect a thrilling
ride. See it.
New Year’s Eve — Dec. 9 New Year’s Eve
in New York City can be quite exciting but
don’t count on it in director Garry Marshall’s New Year’s Eve, a film that reunites
Marshall and writer Katherine Fugate,
who collaborated in last year’s Valentine’s
Day. In this ensemble romantic-comedy of
intertwining stories of love, heartbreak and
second chances, expect the usual schmaltz
and a bevy of A-listers. If Valentine’s Day
was an indication of anything, it’s that a
score of A-listers doesn’t make a movie
good. Skip it.
The Sitter — Dec. 9 What happens when
three horrible children are placed in the
care of the world’s most irresponsible
babysitter? Hilarity, of course! Jonah Hill
stars as the titular sitter who, after a phone
call from a hot and horny girl across town,
takes the three children on a wild adventure across New York City. Expect a few
shallow laughs but not a great movie. David Gordon Green directs. Skip it.
Mission: Impossible — Ghost Protocol
— Dec.16 When the Impossible Missions
Force is shut down after being implicated
in bombing the Kremlin, Ethan Hunt (Tom
Cruise) and his new team of badasses go
undercover to clear the organization’s
name. Ghost Protocol is the fourth film in
the Mission: Impossible series and it will be
interesting to see how the makers of this
film bring new life to the franchise. However, with J.J. Abrams writing and Brad
Bird directing — and a solid cast to boot
— Ghost Protocol sounds very promising.
See it.
Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows —
Dec. 16 Robert Downey Jr. is back as Sher-
lock Holmes as he attempts to catch the nefarious criminal mastermind, Dr. Moriarty
— a man who may just be Holmes’ toughest case yet. The toughest case for audiences, however, will be sitting through another confusing and hapless Guy Ritchie film.
Jude Law, Rachel McAdams and Noomi
Rapace, who played Lisabeth Salander in
the Swedish version of The Girl with the
Dragon Tattoo, co-star. Skip it.
The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo — Dec.
21 The first installment of Columbia Pictures’ movie adaptation of Steig Larsson’s
Millennium Trilogy (the first book alone
has sold 50 million copies worldwide) will
be the biggest movie of the year. Directed
by David Fincher, the director responsible
for last year’s masterful The Social Network,
this American adaptation is sure to make
everyone forget about the Swedish movies and propel Rooney Mara — who plays
heroine Lisbeth Salander — to stardom.
Daniel Craig and Christopher Plummer
star. See it.
The Adventures of Tintin — Dec. 21 Already a huge hit in Europe, where the film
premiered in October, this is Steven Spielberg’s take on Herge’s beloved tale of a
young intrepid reporter whose pursuit of
a good story lands him on a wild adventure. Tintin is sure to be a huge hit across
the pond as well. Jamie Bell stars as Tintin
and Daniel Craig co-stars as the treacherous Red Rackham. See it.
We Bought a Zoo — Dec. 23 Matt Damon
plays a father who moves his young family to the California countryside to renovate and re-open a struggling zoo. This
marks Cameron Crowe’s first picture since
2005’s Elizabethtown and, like that film, expect much of the same disappointment.
Scarlett Johansson co-stars. Skip it
Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close —
Dec. 25 Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close
tells the story of a young boy on an impossible journey. After his father (Tom Hanks)
is killed in the Sept. 11 terrorist attacks, a
9-year-old boy searches the streets of New
York for the lock that matches the mysterious key left by his father. Though the film
sounds promising — a stellar cast with the
excellent Stephen Daldry directing — the
film will have to try hard in avoiding the
clichés that usually bring down a movie
which promises too much. See it, but don’t
be surprised if the film does not deliver.
page twenty four | December 06 2011 | vol. 4 issue 07
PROCRASTINATION
STARS
The Runner | www.runnermag.ca
RIP OFF KWANTLEN
TAURUS
April 20 - May 20
SCORPIO
Oct. 24 - Nov. 22
You smell something? I think it’s pepper. Spray.
You’re the host of that talk-show aren’t you?
I saw you host that General Meeting special
episode.
SAGITTARIUS
Nov. 23 - Dec. 21
The stars read the same, Nov. 30 or Dec. 5.
CAPRICORN
Dec. 22 - Jan. 20
GEMINI
May 21 - June 20
Those Michael Kors heels must have been
expensive, but you really should invest in some
kinky boots.
CANCER
June 21 - july 23
Now that Movember is over, be sure and get your
mustache laser-removed.
Wanna start your own newspaper? How about
naming it the Birdcage-Liner?
AQUARIUS
Jan. 21 - Feb 19
Ladies move, gentlemen move — somebody ring
the alarm, a fire on a roof. Ring the alarm and
I’m throwin’ elbows.
PISCES
Feb. 20 - March 20
Aw fuck, I don’t know...
LEO
July 24 - Aug. 23
I see a bridge in your future. A suspension
bridge.
VIRGO
Aug. 24 - Sept. 23
Defamation station, what’s your relation..? Shit.
ARIES
March 21 - April 19
A bird in the hand is worth two conflicts of
interest.
LIBRA
Sept. 24 - Oct. 23
Take time to feed the birds, man.
Academic freedom on campus? Nope. Instead, your education is partially subsidized by
the dirtiest, most polluting, unethical fossil fuel on the planet, straight outta the tar sands
pit in northern Alberta. Thousands of birds have died in tailings ponds for your degree.
People living downstream the pit on the Athabasca River are getting cancer for your degree. What’s next Kwantlen, an Enbridge pipeline right through the courtyard between
Surrey main and arbutus buildings? How about instead of the nursing program, you offer
an adverse-health-effects-denial course? Or instead of the environmental protection technology program, you offer a climate-change-denial course?