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The Rotary Club of
Swindon Phoenix
District 1100 England
The weekly bulletin (aptly named)
‘’The Birdy’
Issue number 110 Volume number 3 Number 45 of this Rotary Year
President
Peter Collis
PHF Sapphire
President Elect President Nominee
Immediate
P.P. David Coe Rtn, Geoff Beale Past President
Paul Parfrey
Secretary;
P.P. John Flanagan
Treasurer;
P.P. Tony Horn
PHF
Next weeks host is Rotarian *****
IT’S NEXT SUNDAY!
Are you ready?
The Teams are
booked
The Stalls are
booked
The Boats are
booked
Lets get at it then!
By email to all members of Swindon Phoenix Rotary Club, Foothill Highlands Rotary Club USA, Tappahannock Rotary Club
USA, and other selected Rotary Club Members in Australia, Indore and Bhopal India.
The comments expressed in this newsletter, if not credited to someone else, are the thoughts & opinions of the Editor and therefore may not
be the opinions of all the members of the Rotary Club of Swindon Phoenix.
Editor; Past President Peter Goldsworthy. P.H.F. Sapphire
Twice Winner of RIBI District 1100 Bulletin of the Year
(Runner up 2014)
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Well!
This was another night with a difference
where President Peter came to the rescue
having been let down by the host and the
deputy host too!
Then the secretary refused to write a repot
of the evening hence this will be very brief
indeed.
We had no speaker either BUT Peter suggested that some of the ‘boat people’ (as
the Vietnamese used to be named for coming over here living on their boats) in other
words the Barge captains and crews should
speak of their experiences on the Barge
during our week of taking deserving folk for
a ride!
So we did and I have to say impromptu
speakers with a sense of humour were really worth listening too I enjoyed all the
presentations of this piratical crew namely
For some obscure reason Club
Secretary John Flanagan
made ‘Grumpy and Happy’
stand together for this picture
taken on his phone.
He mumbled (loudly) something about us being improperly dressed but as his attendance has been so poor of late,
we were able to convince him
that during one of his many
absences from meetings the club dress code had been relaxed for the summer. We also noted that later in the evening
he stated to the club that he didn't know when we took folk
out on the barge that we actually slept on it as he thought we
all went home every night thereby confirming our comments
of a club secretary that doesn't know what the heck is going
on—thank goodness' for the old guys Happy & Grumpy who
although having short term memory loss are fully aware of
what the club is doing.
If we are collectively known as Happy & Grumpy and we have
two Snow White’s in the club what should John’s name be
answers and reasons to the editor please for inclusion in this
periodical ( clues Sleepy, Sneezy, Dopey, Bashful & Doc or ?)
Gail who started her chat with a curtsy to
the photographrer ( I felt like Roayty! Next
up was your esteemed Editor.
Followed by Grumpy himself
Continued overleaf
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Next up was Chris Sims all were great racketeers - sorry that should be raconteurs and I wish someone had taken
sonme notes but no one did.
Gail brought a guest along and thank goodness she is a hairdresser because if
she had been an ordinary person I wonder what she would have thought of us
all — but then hey ho! I know that hairdressers have to deal with some very
funny folk sometimes!
Here is Dave Huggins and he will become a barge
Captain next year when he undergoes the training
as will Nicki Horn too ( brave Girl!)
Finally here is that proud moment when our two newest members Dave and
Adam Wainwright receive the specially commissioned Swindon Phoenix name badges
That is all for this weeks Birdy as your editors time has been spent producing the Dragon Boat programme amll 32
pages which is now with the printers ready for next Sunday
BYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
Golds!
Oh Yeah this in from Pres Elect David who is sunning himself somewhere in
Europe
President Elect David Coe has
found this in his bathroom in
Portugal
We get everywhere!
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FROM THE DESK OF THE INCOMING PRESIDENT
Good morning Fellow Rotarians
David has asked me too forward this for your information
Dear Fellow Rotarians & Honorary members
As promised at Club Assembly I have attached a summary of
the key events and their dates for 2014/15 – all subject to
change/additions.
Please note that the Handover meeting on the 2nd July will be
themed ‘Independence Day’ (4th July and all that). Now given
that you, the members, want more communication and more
fun, well this is communication and we’ll now see if you really
want more fun –
Continuing our weekly
…Unnamed but shamed list
I would like to thank the following
members for sending me their latest potted histories, however I
cannot publish the booklet that all
members have said is so useful
until I have the rest of them in –
If your
name is NOT on this list
then you are one of those holding
things up……..!!!!!!
Rotarian Geoff Beale.
As Handover is themed, I am hoping/expecting the food and
make up of our meeting room to also be themed so please feel
free to dress in any way which you feel represents America and
in particular Independence day – I can’t wait to see one of you
dressed as one of those alien’s!
Rotarian Elliott Causton
Rotarian Nigel Causton
Rotarian David Coe
Rotarian Peter Collis,
THIS IS ALSO A PARTNERS EVENING.
I am now off on holiday in the early hours of tomorrow morning. Good luck for the 29th and I really am sorry that I will not be
with you.
Rotarian Ian Gill
Rotarian Peter Goldsworthy,
Rotarian Lynne Harper
Rotarian Tony Horn
Don’t forget the after the Dragon Boat Event the
BBQ the bit of a do at the Golds Home ‘Windyridge’
Rotarian Dave Huggins
Kids welcome too!—bring cozzies with you unless
you wanna skinny dip—the water in the pool is 90
degrees in old money and the Hot tub is hotter than
that and the BBQ should be even hotter !
Rotarian Andrew Whiting
Entry fee is a plate (with some choice grill-ables on
and a bottle of pop (or two).
Peggy is supplying various breads so a fun time is
there for all and it will be so great to unwind together and recount the experiences of the day so soon
afterwards.
Really looking forward to sharing a great day and
evening with you all ……..
love ………….The Golds!
Rotarian Gail Light
Hon Member Kevin Brown
President Nominee Nicole
Price
and now
Rotarian Peter Newson
When will your Potted History be
sent to the Editor?
(as if he didn't have enough to do!!
Who will be next?
Watch this space!
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Hi All
GREAT NEWS
Great news everyone our clubs sponsored Guide Dog
‘PHOENIX’ was born on the 14th April 2014 and is doing really
well. Attached is her first Photo, letter and birth certificate. I
have been informed that she is being puppy walked locally
but I need to clarify and ascertain further details but I am
sure that we as a club will be able to become more interactive with her during the next 10-12 months.
Many thanks to Honorary Member Alan Fletcher for his help
in relation to this.
Also what a great way to end Presidents Peter’s year in seeing the birth of the clubs Guide dog puppy and being able to
follow her progress during the coming months.
Many thanks to all club members for making this possible and
we look forward to meeting ‘Phoenix’ in the coming months.
Regards John.
Rotarian John Fisher PP & FGIntPT
Hi John,
She looks a beauty and I noticed her mum was a star
too!!
A Phoenix from a star what more could you ask for!
Mind you her dad was a bobby but there is always another side to a story.
Regards
Alan
Alan & Shirley Fletcher,
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es
k
g’
n
Jo
COINCIDENCE
i
w
A chicken farmer went to the
he
local bar. He sat next to an attractive
t
woman and ordered champagne.
‘on
The woman said, “How strange....I also just ordered a
glass of champagne.”
“What a coincidence,” said the farmer....who added, “It’s a special day
for me. I’m celebrating.”
“It’s a special day for me, too! I am also celebrating!”, said the woman.
“What a coincidence,” said the farmer.
While they toasted, the farmer asked, “What are you celebrating?”
“My husband and I have been trying to have a child for years, and
today
my gynecologist told me I was pregnant!”
“What a coincidence,” said the man. “I am a chicken farmer and for
years
all my hens were infertile, but now they are all set to lay fertilized eggs.”
“This is awesome,” said the woman. “What did you do for your
chickens to become fertile?”
“I used a different rooster,” he said.
The woman smiled and said, “What a coincidence!”
JOKES: ( sub titled – Only in America.... we hope!)
It's time again for the annual 'Stella Awards'! For those unfamiliar with
these awards. they are named after 81-year-old Stella Liebeck who spilled
hot coffee on herself and successfully sued the McDonald's in New Mexico,
where she purchased coffee. You remember, she took the lid off the coffee
and put it between her knees while she was driving. Who would ever think one
could get burned doing that, right? That's right; these are awards for the
most outlandish lawsuits and verdicts in the U.S. You know, the kinds of
cases that make you scratch your head. So keep your head scratcher handy.
Here are the Stellas for 2012:
* SEVENTH PLACE *Kathleen Robertson of Austin, Texas, was awarded
$80,000 by a jury of her
peers after breaking her ankle tripping over a toddler who was running
inside a furniture store. The store owners were understandably surprised by
the verdict, considering the running toddler was her own son.
* SIXTH PLACE *Carl Truman, 19, of Los Angeles, California, won $74,000
plus medical
expenses when his neighbor ran over his hand with a Honda Accord. Truman
apparently didn't notice there was someone at the wheel of the car when he
was trying to steal his neighbor's hubcaps.
Scratch some more...
* FIFTH PLACE *Terrence Dickson, of Bristol, Pennsylvania, who was
leaving a house he had just burglarized by way of the garage. Unfortunately for
Dickson, the automatic garage door opener malfunctioned and he could not get
the garage door to open. Worse, he couldn't re-enter the house because the door
connecting the garage to the house locked when Dickson pulled it shut.
Forced to sit for eight, count 'em, EIGHT days and survive on a case of Pepsi
and a large bag of dry dog food, he sued the homeowner's insurance company
claiming undue mental Anguish. Amazingly, the jury said the insurance
company must pay Dickson $500,000 for his anguish. We should all have this
kind of anguish.
FOURTH PLACE *
Jerry Williams, of Little Rock, Arkansas, garnered 4th Place in the Stella's
when he was awarded $14,500 plus medical expenses after being bitten on the
butt by his next door neighbor's beagle even though the beagle was on a
chain in its owner's fenced yard. Williams
did not get as much as he asked
for because the jury believed the beagle
might have been provoked at the
time of the butt bite because Williams had
climbed over the fence into the
yard and repeatedly shot the dog with a
pellet gun.
* THIRD PLACE *
Amber Carson of Lancaster, Pennsylvania,
because a jury ordered a
Philadelphia restaurant to pay her $113,500
after she slipped on a spilled
soft drink and broke her tailbone. The
reason the soft drink was on the
floor: Ms. Carson had thrown it at her
boyfriend 30 seconds earlier during
an argument.
*SECOND PLACE*Kara Walton, of
Claymont, Delaware, sued the owner of a
night club in a
nearby city because she fell from the
bathroom window to the floor, knocking
out her two front teeth. Even though Ms.
Walton was trying to sneak through
the ladies room window to avoid paying the
$3.50 cover charge, the jury said
the night club had to pay her $12,000....oh,
yeah, plus dental expenses. Gofigure.
* FIRST PLACE *
This year's runaway First Place Stella
Award winner was: Mrs. Merv
Grazinski, of Oklahoma City, Oklahoma,
who purchased new 32-foot Winnebago
motor home. On her first trip home, from
an OU football game, having driven
on to the freeway, she set the cruise control
at 70 mph and calmly left the
driver's seat to go to the back of the
Winnebago to make herself a sandwich.
Not surprisingly, the motor home left the
freeway, crashed and overturned.
Also not surprisingly, Mrs. Grazinski sued
Winnebago for not putting in the
owner's manual that she couldn't actually
leave the driver's seat while the
cruise control was set. The Oklahoma jury
awarded her, are you sitting down?
$1,750,000 PLUS a new motor home.
Winnebago actually changed their manuals
as a result of this suit, just in case Mrs.
Grazinski has any relatives who
might also buy a motor home.
I think their court system is out of control,
don't you.
I have deliberatly inclded the above
so that we know what we are getting
over here in September
Brits beware!
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A bit of advanced warning!
29th JUNE
September 8th The Yank Invasion!
Visit by our friends—Rotarians
from California and Virginia (ok, so
Virginians and Californians are not
actually Yanks but that spoils the
title)
OUR
2nd DRAGON
BOAT RACE
NEXT SUNDAY
n.b This list is by no
means all that is
planned, keep check-
The Object of Rotary is to encourage and foster the ideal of
service as a basis of worthy enterprise and, in particular, to
encourage and foster:
1)The development of acquaintance as an opportunity for
service;
2) High ethical standards in business and professions, the
recognition of the worthiness of all useful occupations, and
the dignifying of each Rotarian’s occupation as an opportunity
to serve society;
3) The application of the ideal of service in each Rotarian’s
personal, business, and community life;
4) The advancement of international understanding, goodwill,
and peace through a world fellowship of business and professional persons united in the ideal of service.
(It is not usual to read the numbers aloud when reciting the object)
For more information on Swindon Phoenix Rotary on your pc
control + click on these hyper links
swindonphoenixrotary.org.uk
And now find us on Facebook
Previous bulletins
https://www.facebook.com/
SwindonPhoenixRotary?ref=hl
thephoenixbulletin.weebly.com
Our Santa Run
swindonsanta.org.uk
Dragon Boat Event
Swindon Phoenix also supports &
recommends
www.stanleystravels.co.uk
www.swindonepilepsy.org.uk
The Four-Way Test
Of the things we think, say or do;
Is it the TRUTH?
Is it FAIR to all concerned?
Will it build GOODWILL and BETTER
FRIENDSHIPS?
Will it be BENEFICIAL to all concerned?
www.dragonboatswindon.org.uk
Rota
That’s all Folks !but remember, we are
t he Rotary Club of
the 21st Century
ry In
terna
tiona
l T he
2013
me
/14