Diary of Florence Belson Lillibridge, 1994 January 1 Well, here is

Transcription

1
Diary of Florence Belson Lillibridge, 1994
January 1
Well, here is the first day of 1994 - chilly, foggy and then rain but not
very much. Just in the morning. We slept in till about 5:40. I had made
oatmeal last night so I set it on to cook and got the rest of Don's
breakfast. Pretty soon Mike arrived with Emma looking rosy and ready for
the day. Little people seem to be bright and cheerful in the early
morning. Then Jenny arrived, had her coffee and then wanted to go for a
walk so I got dressed and went with her. We think Emma should be on the
floor and work on her creeping instead of being in the walker all the
time so when we got back we put her down and she got up on her knees and
managed to inch a little bit and Mike is willing to let her try instead
of never putting her down. Karen doesn't think she should even try so she
doesn't have her on the floor. I guess western vs. southern customs
disagree here. Then Jenny didn't want to drive with Linda when she takes
Jenny down to Santa Cruz because her back has been bothering her so she
called Linda and she agreed and suggested he take the train. Jenny left
for Tahoe without Jason at about 11:30. We drove to the depot to see
about the train but you had to have a reservation and he would have to
get a bus from San Jose so Don suggested we rent a car and he drive down.
Jenny & I had wondered about putting Niki in the 10th grade and she got
angry with me. She called from Tahoe to apologize which was kind of her.
So tomorrow morning Don will call about a car. I took all the meat off
the turkey and sliced dark and light. Made gravy from the drippings I had
frozen, fixed the good mashed potatoes, had fresh green beans and a
frozen fruit salad and then the graham cracker pie for dessert. In the
late evening Don, Mike and Jason played poker and it was a repeat of my
Saturday. This time Don was the oldest. Time does go by. After dinner I
went to the living room to read and fell asleep off and on but then it
wasn't a very good program. Finally I came to and ate some frozen yogurt
and then took a hot shower and put on a lot of lotion. Today was a rather
stressful day. I think so many people coming and going has gotten to me.
I have felt my age today and would just like to go back to the days when
Don and I were here alone and the house was neat and clean and
undisturbed. It is hard to write at the bottom of the page. I wish today
had been a happier day. I hope this doesn't bode ill for the year.
January 2
Still fog but now I have a different viewpoint from yesterday and I am
glad of that. We got up after 5 and so I rushed around getting breakfast
and then I did my exercises and little Emma came over with her Father to
smile in her adorable way. I really dressed warm in my layers of wool so
when we went to church I was not cold. Father DeLeone talked about 12
days of Christmas and that each day [ ? ] some in the church at the time
of Henry the 8th when Catholics were being persecuted in England. And
they wanted to remember the symbols of their religion. When we got home
Don tried to reach car rental places so Jason could drive to Santa Cruz
but could not. Everything was closed so finally Don took him to the bus
station and he left from there but it was going to take a long time
2
to get there. I walked to Lucky and got some things and came home, had
lunch and ironed all the clothes that had been piling up. The board was
in the music room. Then I stripped the bed and washed the sheets. Read
some and wrote to Pauline [plus] a thank you note to Jackie for the cream
table cloth and 10 napkins. Made a simple dinner of canned soup, turkey
and ham sandwiches and cottage cheese and pears. At about 11 Karen, Mike
and Emma set out to go to Napa and the wineries. They got back about 8:30
and both Don and I were worried about them driving in the fog but when
they got back they were happy. Had had dinner in Yountville and had gone
to a winery. Thank goodness they had had fun and were back safe. Mike
shaved off his beard and he looks younger because his hair is brown but
the beard was gray. Emma didn't recognize him! I had Karen try on my
burnt orange rain coat and it fit her so now its hers. So now its 10 to
11 and everyone is in bed and I should be there too. I felt better about
the kids today and I can say that it was good for them to get away. Poor
Karen is the one who must feel strange among us all so I am glad they had
a fine day. We all love little Emma and at least that helps. Tomorrow
Niki goes back to school and Tuesday the L's go back to Tampa and Jenny
will come back from Tahoe.
January 3
Well this has been a pleasant day even though it was dark and gray all
day. When Mike brings that little one over in the morning and she is all
dewy from sleep and she smiles with her little sweet mouth its enough to
win over the most hardened adult. She is adorable, so the morning flew by
and I went to Stars but I was easily tired. But I did not come to bed
till after 11 last night and that might have had something to do with it.
When I came home I ate lunch and then I cooked or rather sauted the
chicken thighs and made the sauce. Mike wanted to make yellow rice for
dinner so he and Karen and Emma went to the store to get the supplies.
Don and I went to Safeway to buy bananas and we walked briskly because it
was still chilly. So then later in the afternoon I made a green salad and
put the sour cream and wine on the chicken and Mike did a lot of chopping
of fresh veggies and they opened one of the bottles of wine they had
gotten yesterday and it was a very good dinner and they bought half
gallon of Swensons ice cream so we really went fancy. Don called Santa
Cruz and he didn't get Jason but someone in the house said he had made it
ok yesterday. Then Linda called and arrangements were made for Jenny and
Linda to meet the L's in Sacramento so everyone could say goodbye. Jeff &
Patty came over to say goodbye and even the Yorks - R, and C[athy]
stopped by so there was a lot of activity. Don and Niki said they didn't
feel very well so they went to bed early. Then little Emma did a lot of
crying so she didn't feel very well. I hate to think of their leaving on
a plane tomorrow if she is not well but I guess they will have to go
anyway. So now it is 10 p.m. and I too must go to bed. Tomorrow I will be
busy cleaning up the apartment and getting it ready for Jenny's return.
She will miss the Florida L's. Talked to Priss and she wants $10 each for
the two blankets. I think that is a lot but I will pay.
3
January 4 - a little rain
Another day of raining, fog, and clouds. We got up a little bit late this
morning but Mike and Emma were right on time coming over. She is such a
sweet child and her smile is so sweet. I went to get Niki up but she said
she felt terrible and so was not going to school so I let her stay in
bed. Priss was coming over at 9:30 to see Emma again and at about 9 Karen
said she wanted to talk to us. Niki had talked to her last night. It
seems she had cut school all day yesterday just walking trying to decide
whether to stay or go back to Australia. Karen says she is depressed,
unhappy and lost. She doesn't know what to do and feels lost. Karen said
it all very well and she feels that it is not fair to ask her to make
such a big decision and she should not be asked to do it. Let her stay
now and if later she wants to go back then fine. We decided that Don
would tell Jenny this when he picked her up in Sacramento. So Don, Mike,
Karen, & Emma left at 11:30 after Priss had come to say goodbye. Right
after they left I stripped the bed in the apartment. And washed sheets
and towels. Then I vacuumed, dusted and neated things up so by the time
Don arrived with Jenny, all was neat and clean and fresh. He had told her
on the way home and she accepted kindly saying that Linda had much the
same things so she was not too upset. Don packed the porta bed, walker
and car seat together and took then back and they charged only $18 for
everything! Dinner was very dull. I re-heated the yellow rice from last
night and made some "angel buns" from a recipe that were not great and a
salad of grapefruit, kiwi, and orange. Dull, dull. Don had suggested that
we drive to Redding tomorrow after I finish at the library and have
dinner out and stay the night. It is going to be our wedding anniversary
and it sounds good to me. The kids won't get into Tampa till 12 and it
will be almost 2 by the time they get home. They are going to be a tired
crew. Well we enjoyed having them and we loved little Emma. Niki was
especially fond of her and was holding her till she left. I will go to
the school tomorrow and talk to Mr. Jones about Niki's cutting and will
try to see the counselor as well. I think I will try to go to bed early
tonight.
January 5
I am writing this on Thursday because I didn't take this with me when we
went to Redding for R & R. I started the day by walking to and from
Pleasant Valley to talk to the Vice Principal about Niki cutting school
on Monday. She did go to her first 2 classes and I guess she will just
have to still with the teachers in the other two classes. Then I talked
to Sue Bruce and her counselor and she will probably take Health and drop
Recordkeeping for second semester. I walked back and then got ready to go
to Redding by taking a shower and pinning up my hair. Went to Stars and
then walked to the library. There were 91 cards to type and I didn't get
them all done before Don picked me up. I packed a bag with night gown,
makeup, etc. and we left a little after 3. It was a pleasant day, not too
cold but not really clear. I was not very nervous on the drive up but
then freeways are not bad. We went to Red Lion and although we didn't
have a reservation we got a room. It was small but ok. We sat and read
and then watched the local and national
4
news and then went down to dinner. We had eaten there before and the food
was very good. I ordered prime rib and Don ordered a small filet and
shrimp combination. The salad was fine and when the entree came the
veggies and potatoes were fine but the meat was dry and tough and Don
found his steak the same way. Mine cost $11 and his was $20! That was a
shock. Well we didn't seem to have much luck on anniversary dinner since
last year we got a lousy dinner at the Albatross. We went upstairs and
read for awhile and then watched Home Improvement which I had seen once
before and liked and was very good this time too. Then we started
drinking bourbon with water but no ice but I really didn't mind. Then we
made love and it was just great for Don and really pretty much ok for me
too. Anyway we were happy and glad to be together. We went to sleep and
for a few hours that we were away from home we didn't have to worry about
children or the dog or Niki or anything. I think we should do this more
often but I don't think it would have to be this expensive. But we could
work that out. The question is who would stay with Nick and the dog? Well
we will think about it.
January 6
I slept well till 3:40 and then just dozed till morning. Don slept
through and we didn't get up till 7:30! What a difference from our usual
time. We got up and got dressed and were down to breakfast by 8:30. I had
a sweet roll and Don had a big breakfast. Then we walked around the hotel
twice. It was a beautiful bright morning if chilly. We could see Mount
Shasta in the distance. Then we went to our room and got everything and
drove away a little before 9:30. We got to the shopping mall and walked
all the way through it. I would like to come by myself and spend a few
hours looking at things but Don was patient but I didn't push him. I did
buy an oversized shirt for $8.00 in [ ? ] cotton that I will wear to
Stars. We got home at about 11:45 and had lunch and because Daisy was so
glad to see us that I decided to take her outside while Don sunbathed and
napped. I planted the three rose bushes and the two gardenia plants and
transplanted a rose from the south to the north yard. Did some weeding
and cleaning up. If the weather is good tomorrow I would like to clean
the flat border. Niki had gotten a Happy Anniversary card and she had
written a beautiful [ ? ] in it. Saying she hoped one day she could find
someone to love for 51 years. Jenny got home and then Don picked up Niki
from school. She has had things to do for some time but she is just now
getting down to work on them so she has been in the study from after
school till dinner and then all evening. Poor timing. I made a simple
dinner of canned soup, a dish of cheese and pickles, a relish dish of
veggies and of chocolate pudding. Then the news Bill Clinton's Mother
died and he has to be at a summit meeting Saturday. And Tip O'Neill died
at 82. Don is watching The Firm but I really didn't want to see it. Linda
called and she wished us a happy anniversary a day late since we were not
here yesterday and Mike did the same. She got our pictures back from
Christmas Eve and there were some good ones and some not so good
naturally. Emma looked great. I will send them off to Florida. Now I am
going to read awhile. Will have may hair cut on Tuesday.
5
January 7
This turned into a productive day. We got up a little late this morning
at about 5:30. I did my exercises and fixed Don's breakfast. I made
oatmeal for all of us. Right after breakfast Don said he was going out to
the front yard to get the leaves out of the borders. I wanted to help so
because it was cold I put on a lot of clothes and joined him. He started
with the borders next to the house and I started with the borders next to
the fence. Wet leaves were everywhere but we kept at it and ended up
doing the whole thing with many piles of leaves. Tomorrow we must bag
them. I called Bill Roberts got his answering service and said we were
ready to have leaves hauled away. Came in the house and had Suka to drink
and then I got dressed to go to Stars. When I got back and had lunch we
went to S&S and got Fuji and Gala apples and mandarins. I had stopped at
Holiday on my way home from Stars and got $10 worth of skinless, boneless
chicken breasts and I baked them separately and froze them for future
use. Made macaroni and cheese, cabbage slaw and peas for dinner. Found a
new chocolate chip recipe in Good Housekeeping and made it. They were
good. Made bread because we were down to the last loaf so I did a lot of
things today. Also went for a walk at 4. By then it was clear and cool
but not cold. Jenny and Cathy had lunch together and did some shopping
and Jenny went out to dinner with Debbie this evening. Niki seemed in
goot spirits when she got home. A girl called Theresa called to talk to
Niki and Niki asked if she could stay the night but when the girl
checked, she could not come so Niki watched TV and now out as I write
this she is in the apartment watching till her Mom gets home. I wonder if
she will miss her once she leaves on the 20th. I worry about that and I
so far have not monitored what she watches on TV and I think I should
talk to Don to see if we should be doing that. There is a lot of trash on
TV. Since I so seldom watch I am really not aware. Cathy took our
Christmas tree in her Cherokee because the goats like to eat pine
needles. That solved getting rid of our tree. Don is in bed. I have
showered and brushed my teeth so I should be thinking about bed myself.
January 8
We got up at 5:30 to another cloudy dark day. In fact when I went to pick
up Mary to go shopping I had to have the headlights on. We went to the
Food Market first and I got some little squash, mandarins, and broccoli.
Then on to Food for Less and the Cannery. I didn't really buy anything
exciting today. Just things we were out of. I was home by 9:15. It rained
a little off and on while we were gone. I put all the groceries away. And
decided to go to Safeway to get cottage cheese and facial tissue so by
the time I got back it was lunch time. Jenny told us that she would not
be here for dinner tonight or tomorrow night. Later she said that Niki
would be going to Valerie's for the night and that tomorrow night she
would be going with Jenny to eat with the Lindemans and the Van Rossum's.
In the afternoon she took Valerie and Niki to the downtown area and then
at 6 Valerie's mother picked them up. In mid afternoon Don and I walked
to Lucky to buy vitamins and a loaf of bread. I fixed us poached eggs and
toast for dinner but we still have candy and cookies
6
so although I didn't eat much at meals I ate a lot before and after. I
read Cleopatra's Sister about people on a plane going to Africa, having
engine trouble they came down in a country where a revolution is going on
and they end up being held hostage and a young man and woman fall in
love. Very well written. So we have had the evening to ourselves. But Don
has a headache and he watched a nature program while I read. Jenny told
me that she offered to buy Niki a portable stereo since she had promised
to get her one for here or back in Australia but Niki said no because she
didn't know where she would be eventually. Interesting. So who knows.
Next weekend Linda is supposed to come down and then Monday Jenny will go
down to San Fransisco or maybe it is Sunday and will come back Tuesday
and then Wednesday is John's birthday so they will go out to dinner and
she will fly back on Thursday to Australia.
January 9
Well today I raked, cooked, sewed, ironed, walked, now how about that? I
didn't sleep all that well last night. I had a bad stomach ache off and
on in the night but this morning I was okay but I did have tea instead of
Suka juice in case and I think that helped. I didn't do any exercises
this morning but I will go back to it tomorrow morning for sure. We went
to church and I wore my mid calf gray skirt with the long top that goes
with it. I like that outfit. Changed my clothes and Jenny & I walked to
Walgreens, Lucky, and Longs so that Jenny could check on vitamins,
batteries, etc. Things that are expensive in Australia and cheaper here.
Came home and I had a lot of ironing to do so I did that and I decided to
shorten the dark green dress ?housecoat? that I worked on yesterday and
once I did that I ironed it and I think I am going to get a lot of wear
out of it. I made a pumpkin pie and with the other half of the can of
pumpkin I made pumpkin bread. I made a French stew that turned out to be
delicious. Don and I walked in the afternoon but we also worked in the
yard, this time in the north yard and got all the leaves out of the
borders and so we are really coming along. Bill Roberts called and he
will be here tomorrow to take all the leaves away and then we will think
about what we want pruned. Niki got back from Valerie's in the early
afternoon and Jenny went for a long walk with Chris Vave. So we were all
outside a lot during the day but it was so warm and sunny that I didn't
want to be in the house. So I felt I got a lot done and that is a good
feeling. Since Jenny & Niki were going to the Van Rossum's for dinner Don
and I had wine, candle light, our stew, French bread, salad (green) and
the pie. It was all very pleasant. I called Priss and found out that
Cinders was not feeling well and she was concerned. She took her to the
doctor on call and he gave her a cortisone shot and charged her $70. She
will go to her regular vet tomorrow. So I felt it was a good day. Niki
even did some home work and that was a plus.
January 10
I really didn't do all that much today although the time passed quickly.
We slept in till 5:30 so when I got up I rushed a bit to get things done
and do all my exercises. Read the
7
papers and then visited with Jenny. When someone is here I find that I
talk more and do less but that is ok. I did clean the top of the stove
and the sink. I was going to clean the bathrooms but didn't get to them.
Don went to see Tom who was in pain today and that worried him. Later in
the day he called Jack Rawlins and they are going to breakfast tomorrow
morning at 9. Since I have my hair cut at 10 I will walk to the Beauty
College. It is near Holiday and I can do that ok. I went to Stars and
came home to eat lunch. Dinner was easy because there was leftover stew
and I did mashed potatoes and there was pie left. Jenny fixed herself a
pasta salad. The tree man who Don had talked to earlier came and he is
going to cut down our trees on Saturday. I walked around to the house
that has such beautiful trees and Mrs. Biggers came to the door (there
may are on the front of the house) and the trees are redwoods and the
people who put them in are at Sun Chasers and they are in Paradise so we
will call them tomorrow. Linda called and she will be down on Friday. The
three girls have decided to write to Mike and tell him how they feel
about Karen. I don't know how he will react. I am not for this but I
didn't have much influence. Niki came home from school all jazzed because
in math they have this fun project. She spent the evening on her English
homework - no TV tonight which means she can do the work when she wants
to. True she is starting it late but she is doing it. She is drinking
coffee to stay awake. Rosalie called Becky in Hawaii on the phone to ask
if she can send a taped interview and then Becky will send back a tape in
answer. We have interesting grand children. Well I guess I will go to
bed. I hope we are doing the right thing about the trees. I went to have
a urine sample analyzed because I seem to have another yeast infection.
Damn!
January 11
I don't know just what time it is right now but I think is going on 9 pm.
I have been reading a book that was so strange I gave up on it and now I
think I can take all the books back to the library tomorrow when I work
there and can start fresh. I don't seem to want to read start books
anymore. In fact I am not sure I want to read much of anything. But what
would I do with my evenings if I didn't read? I did all my exercises this
morning and read the paper and then made a macaroni salad as I visited
with Jenny. At 9:30 I left to get my hair cut and since I was walking to
the Chico Beauty College the Holiday Market it took quite awhile. Sherri
did and it turned out ok. Then I walked back and by then it was luch
time. Don had breakfast with Jack Rawlins and he said it went very well.
After lunch Don took me to the Discovery Shop. It was a busy afternoon
and I worked very hard. I returned all the clothes that Jenny had not
liked and paid for the pair of slacks she did want. Today I brought home
a pair of slacks and a black and white polka dot dress. Don't know yet if
I will keep either one. I sliced the last of the ham heated hard rolls,
and Jenny. Had some leftover lunch from a Chinese restaurant and I heated
that so we had enough but I really wasn't satisfied and would have liked
something more or something else but it was ok. And now I have to come up
with something for tomorrow night. That is the main trouble with being
the housewife. It means that once dinner is over
8
you have to start thinking about what to have the next night. I talked to
Jenny about the plan of the three girls they want to write a letter to
Mike telling him that he is doing too much for Karen and that he should
make her do her share. That is a crude way of putting it but that is the
essence. Don and I talked it over and we don't think it would be a wise
move and it would cause more trouble instead of less and they might lose
Mike completely in the process. Linda is coming down on Friday and Jenny
said the three of them would talk about it. At this time I can't handle a
rift among the children if it can be avoided. Niki continues to work hard
on her home work and I think she is going to pull herself out of these
low grades if she continues to work hard. But enough for tonight.
January 12
It is 8 p.m. and before I get sleepy I had better write in this.
Wednesday is my most active day. I do about 20 minutes of exercise in the
morning, then today I did the mall walk and stopped at Lucky to buy
jicawa and Romaine. Got home and did some ironing and ran a load of
clothes and then I went to Stars where I worked out for 45 minutes. Drove
home and ate lunch and then walked to the library where I typed for 2
hours. Don picked me up and we stopped at S&S to buy apples. Don has
fallen in love with Fuji apples and they are very good but they cost 69
cents a pound and since they were big the amount goes up rapidly. When I
got home, I finished the salad since I had washed the greens earlier.
Then I made a vanilla pudding and made spaghetti and heated French bread.
Niki went home with Nicole VanRossum to type up her English assignment on
the computer so she wasn't here for dinner. Afterward we watched the
news. Jenny & Cathy went out to Calamity Jane's in Dunham and ate
breakfast before Cathy went to bed. Then Jenny had the little blue car
for awhile but it took it back out followed by Debby so Cathy would not
have to bring her back. I am happy for the girls and their closeness, but
I envy them too because I don't have a close friend really. I talk to
Priss every day but she is too touchy and abrasive for me. I always feel
I am walking on eggs with her and that doesn't make for a good friend. Ok
well, I have Don I ironed this afternoon when I got home from the library
and the pair of slacks I got yesterday at the Discovery Shop for $1 are
the same color as a top that Linda sent down from Tahoe. They will look
great together. I look forward to having Linda come home Friday. She is
getting her hair cut, permed and tinted. I am the only one going to the
beauty college and getting hair cuts for $3.60 and perms for $22. Maybe I
should splurge. Who knows.
January 13
Up at the usual time doing the usual thing. Jenny wanted to be awakened
at 6:20 so I got her up and then Niki. Since Niki doesn't say anything in
the morning it is not easy to carry on a conversation so I have stopped
trying. Cathy stopped by to pick up Jenny and they were going to
breakfast together. After Don left I was all by myself. So I shaved my
legs, showered, shampooed and pinned up my hair and then I cleaned both
bathrooms. Jenny came back and she interviewed Mike Sterling for her
project and then they went off
9
to lunch. We had lunch and when she came back Don and I went for a walk.
I then ran two loads of clothes waiting for Sandy to arrive and give us
an estimate on trees. We waited an hour and then I called and she came
over. The trees will cost $39 each and there will be six of them and the
man who puts them in will charge $18 an hour and he will also stake our
persimmon tree in the back yard. Then Eileen Robinson called telling us
that Niki cut 2-6 last Friday. Don said we would not say anything till
tomorrow since she is working on the assignment for English will be
working on it all evening. So he didn't pick her up because she was going
to Nicole's to put her work on the computer. Jenny was going to eat with
Debbie and spend the evening so I opened a can of soup, heated French
bread and we had some macaroni salad. A poll descended on both of us. I
had been so hopeful that things were going to be better but what a fool I
was to think they would be. Mike called. He was making a chicken dish and
wanted to know what cornstarch was because it was needed for thickening.
I explained. So we ate and we watched the news and then we read. Don got
a headache and he finally called asking Niki when she was going to come
home and he went to get her at 9:30. She just went to the study and
worked and didn't say a word. At 10:30 I went to bed. In a few more days
Jenny will be gone and we will be left wondering how to cope and I get
scared, frustrated and angry by [ ?]. How can this end?
January 14
Got up at the usual time, bright morning and still no rain. We need it
desperately. I had made cooked cereal and we all ate it and it was so
good. As usual Niki never talks in the morning. But then she doesn't say
much at any time really. After breakfast I pinned up my hair and got
dressed and then while Jenny prepared letters to be mailed for her survey
I shortened the red slacks of a 2-piece outfit that I have been putting
off doing. I just realized after I write this in the evening that I
didn't walk today! I went off to Stars at 11 knowing that Linda would
probably be here on the return. Stars was great today and the time just
flew by. And yes when I drove up the little blue Renault was in the
driveway. Linda was eating lunch and since I was hungry I made my cottage
cheese and fruit plate and sat down with her. She was fine. It is always
great to see her. We visited and then the girls were off on errands. Don
picked up Niki after school and he asked her about cutting last Friday.
She said things got to be too much for her so she rode the bus out to the
Chico Mall. I went in to talk to her and she was very angry. Said we were
re-acting too much to her cutting. I told her she could not go out this
weekend and she said she was going out and was really ugly about it. I
was very upset. The girls went off to meet Cathy and first they were
going to see Philadelphia, the movie about AIDS and then they were going
out to dinner probably at the Hatchcover. So I put meat pies in the oven
after making a chocolate cake and I fixed a carrot salad. Then Niki came
out and apologized and asked if she could go out tonight and she would
stay home at least are the weekend including Monday night so we gave in
and she went off with Valerie to the movie and Valerie will stay the
night. The man to take out the stumps will charge $100 each and after he
left we
10
moved a lot of plants because he will have to take out the fence to get
his machine in. So Don and I ate alone and then there was the news. We
read in the evening since there was nothing good on TV. I am still on my
yeast infection remedy and we are left holding the bag as usual. Priss
invited us to the Country Club for dinner on Sunday.
January 15 -2 Modesto ash trees cut down $800
We got up at 5:30. Jenny came over early and she talked about Niki. She
felt we were wrong to change her being grounded from last night to Monday
night. And she did not go to the movie but Valerie, her boyfriend and
Niki just sat and had coffee. She thinks they should not be downtown
where the college kids are. It gave us something to think about. I am
very discouraged about Jenny leaving and Niki staying. Well, anyway I
dashed off to take Mary shopping. We got back a little before 9 and the
people were already here starting to cut down the trees. They had come at
8 and they stayed after 6 working in the dark. They will have to come
back tomorrow to finish up. So far they have cut down all the trouble
part of the trees so what is left is the main trunk and that is the
trick(y) part. We spent a lot of the day watching because it's really
fascinating and the one man went up at the top doing the cutting is
pretty scary to watch. I worked outside in the South yard digging up
Bermuda and I put newspapers around the roses and wet them down because
until the grass gives us cuttings I don't want that Bermuda to grow.
Valerie stayed the night and didn't go home till about 5:30 p.m. The
49ers beat the Giants by a huge amount and so the Super Bowl may still be
a possibility. Linda's car went on the blink and she did not want to
drive to Tahoe because it might have gone out on her so she and Jenny
spend the evening trying to solve the problem. Jenny was going to go to
San Francisco tomorrow because of John Colm's birthday party tomorrow
night. Then Linda was going to rent a car but she could not find one that
would rent it one-way. Then they were going to have Don drive her up to
Tahoe and come right back. If they went early in the morning he would be
home by evening. Finally they decided to have Jenny using Cathy's Geo
would drive the two of then up to Tahoe. Jenny would stay the night and
then drive to San Francisco tomorrow morning, so they left at about 5.
Don drove them to Durham and they were leaving from there. So I made
scrambled eggs for dinner and I got rid of all our leftovers. Since we
are eating with Priss tomorrow night at the Country Club I won't have to
make dinner till Monday and that will be nice. Hopefully by tomorrow
night the tree deal will be over. We will have to have a new fence once
they have finished taking care of the stumps. Trees - $800, stumps $200,
trees $234, $18 an hour to put them in. Don't know how much the fence
will cost. May have to redo some of the lawn and replace some of the
bushes. It is $1,240 without labor or the cost of fence!
January 16
We had decided last night that we were not going to church today so when
we woke up later than usual we did not have to rush. Still I did not read
the papers all that carefully. I
11
sorted out the clothes and put in a load and then walked to Safeway to
buy Don a pershing roll and a doughnut for Niki. While I was gone Jenny
called to say that the Geo was not working all that well and so instead
of going on to San Francisco she decided to come back here tomorrow
morning and skip the party for John in San Francisco and she will go down
a day early instead before going to Australia on Thursday. The man who is
cutting down the trees did not arrive till almost 10. I decided to go to
Lucky to get cottage cheese and I went to Longs and to the Mall where I
checked out some ads at Mervyns but didn't buy anything. So back home and
I did another load of wash and had lunch so I got in two long walks
today. The front yard at the moment is a disaster. The fence is broken in
a number of places. Lots of the planters have been broken probably beyond
hope. The man still has to come back tomorrow to finish the two stumps
and maybe once the new trees are in and the new fence is in, it will be
ok but right now it is discouraging. The I was concerned about Niki going
with us to dinner. She said she had a head ache and she wasn't feeling
good and I worried about what she would wear so I admit I was relieved
when she said she didn't feel like going so I wore my black stirrup pants
and black top and then I wore Jenny's cream vest. The food was Mexican
and I didn't much care for it, but it was ok. Don had very little and
didn't have anything to drink but I tried everything and had one drink.
We talked mainly about Niki. When we got home we went to pick up Teresa
whom Niki had insisted to spend the night. She lives in a group home and
she calls Niki a lot. I was not keen on this but couldn't think of a
reason to say no. We both went in and introduced ourselves. She [ ? ]
asked for Don's drivers license and wanted other information. It was all
very strange but then this whole arrangement with Niki is strange. I feel
up and down but mostly rather down. For example, at 8 p.m. Niki wanted to
walk to 7-11 and was upset when I said no.
January 17
We woke up at 5:30. Since Don has decided not to run behind the Junior
high till it is light in the mornings, we seem to sleep in. Too many
weird people over there and he just doesn't feel comfortable doing it. So
he went to play tennis and then went to see Tom, who isn't doing well
right now and is in a lot of pain. I kept busy in the house, did some
more ironing, worked in the kitchen, etc. Niki and Teresa slept in. I got
dressed to go to Stars but Don felt that Teresa should go home since
Jenny was due back by 11. Teresa came in the living room and said, "Where
is Don?" I was startled since she had just met him last night and when I
told her he had gone for a walk she said, "oh, darn it, I wanted him to
get me a pack of cigarettes." Well I was so mad I wanted her out of the
house at once. I don't like being treated like a servant in my own home
by teenager I don't know and now didn't want to know. She went home
pronto! Then Jenny arrived. By then it was too late for me to go to Stars
and I felt bad about that. So I ate lunch and Jenny took me to the
Discovery Shop. We had a very dull day and made $50. We decided that
since it was a holiday, people may have thought that we were closed. I
paid my bill of $3.00 and brought home a skort which I like and so I will
keep it. I work later in the month extra
12
because Trudi called and asked me to. Dinner was good. I had cooked
squash in the morning and I got some ham out of the freezer and cooked
broccoli and made an orange salad. It all tasted great. There was an
earthquake in Los Angeles at 4:30 this morning and it was 6.6 on the
Richter scale and there was a lot of damage. So far 24 people have been
killed but they think there will be more. Jenny is getting ready to go.
She is packing things and it won't be long. She said she and Linda cried
so much at Tahoe that was one more reason I she did not go to San
Francisco on Sunday. A man who lives on North Avenue and does carpentry
is going to do our fence. At least he has given us an estimate of $1,300
but it might be less. This is getting to be an expensive venture. Well, I
quit writing because Jenny had gotten Sleepless in Seattle so I went out
and watched it again and then Niki came in to watch it. They both loved
it.
January 18 - my birthday
We got up at 5:30 and I fixed Don's breakfast and then I read my cards.
Don's was very funny and it had $100 bill in it which was nice. The girls
just had cards but they were nice too. I had told them I didn't want
presents and they complied. After everyone was set, I walked to PV and
talked to Larry Jones about Niki. He was kind and helpful and he promised
to call her in on Monday and have a chat with her. I warned him that she
probably won't say much. Was checking with Susan Bruce and told her that
Jenny would send the rest of her grades at her other school. Walked back
home and changed my clothes to work in the yard. Poor Don went from one
thing to another. He took Rose and a friend to the library after David
brought them from Durham. They wanted information about a project they
were working on. Then they came here for lunch and fortunately I had some
leftover ham and so they made sandwiches, had chips, etc. I went outside
and got to work on the borders. I worked a couple of hours and got a
little done. I pulled out the honeysuckle and hope it doesn't come back
and I trimmed back bushes but I don't know what the stump grinding will
entail. We may loose some more bushes. Well, once the fence is in we can
then analyze what is needed in the way of replacements. Don went to
Hospice for lunch and got back after 2 and then he took the girls back to
Durham. I fixed green beans, made a raw veggie salad, and Jenny made a
chicken dish. I made brownies for dessert and so we had dinner. Niki
asked Sandi to come over so she could help her with her math since Niki
is good at that class. She said at dinner that her collage had been put
up on the black board with a smiling face drawn so it was a success. My
sister called and we had a good talk. They are going to Mexico for two
weeks later in the month. She still is not feeling all that well. Priss
stopped by with a birthday card. So it was a real strange birthday.
Nothing special happened but that was ok. I was surprised that Niki
didn't send me a card but maybe she forgot.
January 19 - lovely weather like Spring
It is after 10 p.m. Jenny has been crying because she leaves tomorrow
morning and Niki went over to say goodbye to her because they are leaving
early in the morning. So it is a
13
sad time. Today was a good day. I did my exercise and after breakfast Don
went out and dug up the ivy and then we watered the lawn because we have
not had rain for so long. I watered the plants inside and some of the
pale pink double cammelias are out now so I put some in the house. Then I
had made rolls early and Cathy stopped by to go to breakfast with Jenny
and when they came back the cinnamon rolls were done so they ate them and
when Don came back from seeing Tom, he ate them too. I went off to Stars
and when I went out there was Bill and he said he could take all the
cuttings and leaves. When I got back the man had picked up the wood from
the fence and Bill had taken everything, so now we just wait for Friday
when the stumps man comes. I ate a quick lunch and then walked to the
library. Thank goodness there were not so many cards to type today and I
got done and filed them all. When I got home I took out all the leftovers
and made a dinner from them. Not great, but ok. Jenny and I went for a
walk before we ate and I look forward to when it is still light after
dinner and I can walk then. We watched Home Improvement which is so funny
and I talked to Priss and I finished Having Our Say about the two Negro
ladies 103+101. Cathy gave it to me for Christmas and it is so good. Don
will be taking Jenny to San Francisco and Niki says she and Valerie are
planning to go by bus to the Chico Mall and then they will come back here
and they plan to go bowling in the evening. We had been counting on being
by ourselves tomorrow night and I was going to fix a fancy dinner and we
were planning on a drink and then going to bed to make love and maybe
that will not work out if Valerie and Niki are on the scene. Mike sent a
lovely spring bouquet that arrived today and I have it on the dining room
table. Best that I get to bed now. Tomorrow I will be by myself during
the day. I have a lot to do.
January 20 - Jenny goes back to Australia
Well the day started with tears because although I made Don's breakfast
and did my exercise then it was time to say goodbye to Jenny and she was
crying so hard that it was really sad. But Don said she calmed down and
was ok on the way to San Francisco but she started right in again when he
had to leave her. But John was just starting out on a walk so he was
right there. While Don was gone I did wonders. If only I could do that
much every day, think what I could accomplish! I cleaned the apartment,
washed the sheets and made up the bed all fresh. I washed one of Don's
wool sweaters, I scrubbed our kitchen floor, I vacuumed the apartment and
the TV room and part of the living room that gets the most traffic. I
showered and shampooed. I changed the place mats and candles to go with
Mike's bouquet. Then I went outside and fed the camellias. And I got more
leaves out of the front border and did some more trimming. I threw out 27
catalogues. Don got home at about 1:45 and just think I had done all
these things between 7 and 1:45! Remarkable. So then after we had talked
and he went to lie down I walked over to Wards and had them put the band
from my old watch on the new one because the new band was too tight. From
there I went to Lucky to get bananas and a loaf of sour dough. Came home
and fixed two chicken breasts and put them in the oven along with
14
potatoes, set out squash and green beans left over from the other night
and made salad. Niki and Valerie came and Don took them to the Chico
Mall. Talked to Priss and will stop by tomorrow with a good picture of
her that D. Yakish took and sent to us. I have quince in the living room
that is brown to come out. Well in the evening with Niki at Valerie's for
the night we had drinks and I had one of my beloved Manhattans and then
another one. We went to bed and made love and it was great. How nice to
have the house to ourselves for a change and then to sleep.
January 21 - grinding stumps $210
We got up at about 5:20. I did all my exercises after fixing Don's
breakfast and then I pinned up my hair because it just doesn't seem too
curl in the right way. When I combed it out it was still not right. The [
? ] man came to grind up the stumps. I went for a walk after he got
started. Stopped to talk to Mrs. Hood and she said they had been robbed
in the day time while no one was home. They jimmied up a window. I am
glad we have Daisy and I always have money in the house since I pay cash
for everything. Did my mile and then went off to Stars. When I got home
Cathy was here and we visited and when she left I gave her a bush. Niki
had been picked up by Kasey and she went to help out in Mrs. Lindeman's
3rd grade class for the day. The man had put ground up wood chips around
the rose bushes so Don and I spread it all out. There is still more to be
to be spread and I will do that tomorrow. Then I was supposed to take
Niki to Dr. Archer at 3:30 but Niki had gone while I was at Stars and we
had not arrived for a time to pick her up so I called Citrus and Mrs. L
said Kasey had already left with Niki so I went to Chico Medical at 3 and
Niki went to Convenient Care and I was looking for her and we went up to
Dr. Archer's office together. I did not go in with her. When she came out
she had Rx for menstrual pains and for her rash between her toes. She
seemed to think things had gone ok. She is so hard to get any information
from. We came home and Don took her to Kasey's to spend the night. I had
made a new recipe of a pasta dish I got from a recipe in a mystery called
Dying For Chocolate and it turned out to be pretty good. I cooked carrots
and fixed a slice of bread with melted cheese. We had a little wine and
it was nice to eat by ourselves. Watched the news. Jenny called. She was
in the car with Barry and was talking on the car phone. She was tired but
she sounded happy too. Mike had called during the day and I had seen
Cathy so only Linda was not heard from. Hopefully tomorrow the man will
plant the new trees.
January 22 - The trees are in! $290
I woke up to find Don gone and I could hear him in the kitchen fixing his
breakfast so I got up at about 5:15. Really didn't do much in the way of
exercise this morning. So I had a little something to eat and then read
the paper. Got dressed and at 7:15 I was on my way to pick up Mary.
Stopped at Food Market to buy five pounds of Mandarins the last of the
season and cauliflower, broccoli and Napa cabbages. At Food for Less I
bought $38.91 and at the Cannery about $14 and yet I didn't have much in
the way of exciting things to
15
show for it. Came home and put everything away. The man to put in the
trees still had not come so Don called and he came out at 12:30. I walked
to S&S to get Suka. Slipped cutting through the Mission place and got
both knees of my slacks muddy but I went on anyway. When I got back they
were putting in the trees and though they are not very big they look
nice. The man also staked the persimmon tree in the back yard so it will
be much straighter. Niki called to say she would be home around 4 and
then she told us she was going to spend the night at Nicole's so she has
not been here at night the whole weekend. It has made it very nice for
us. Dying For Chocolate, the mystery Priss gave me that has the recipes
came through again today because I made a crust less Jarlsberg quiche and
it turned out to be delicious. I made a green salad, heated rolls and I
had made a chocolate mayonnaise pie earlier and it was firm enough so
that we even had a piece tonight. It will be better tomorrow. I am eating
too much and must put a stop to that. Don built a fire and it was so nice
and cozy. I called Priss after dinner and we had a chat. Called Linda and
she was fixing herself a simple dinner. Craig will be home tomorrow and
she is very lonesome and will be glad to see him. Tomorrow I have to
level out the areas where the stumps were and put the shavings around
plants. I showered and shaved my legs and am all clean and neat. I will
be glad to go to bed tonight. I am sleepy.
January 23 - rain in the mid and early mornings
We got up at a little after 5. I didn't feel great but I did all my
exercise and then made myself a piece of toast when suddenly I got very
bad pains in my stomach and they didn't go away. Finally I told Don I
didn't think I should go to church and he didn't want to go either so he
called Mary and canceled. I lay down in the living room and read a bit
and just rested and about 2 hours later the pain was gone and I didn't
feel it again all day but I was careful and just ate crackers and toasted
bread until dinner time. So I decided instead of read fiction today I
would read articles. I read the New Yorker about the richest man who is
in computers, and I read the Atlantic and I was interested in all that I
read. I felt ashamed that I don't do this more often. Don's back and his
neck hurt so he didn't have a very good day either. Niki was at Nicole's
and we didn't hear from her until mid evening when she said she and
Nicole were going to the Mall and she would call when she was to be
picked up. I went ahead and fixed dinner: I planned to eat up the egg
dish I made last night and I made sandwiches, chips with dip, and a plate
of raw veggies. 5 p.m. came and no word from Niki. Finally Don called Van
Rossum's and she was there and said they had just had lunch and she
didn't want to eat dinner. It was arranged to pick her up at 15 to 8. She
is so thoughtless about us. She knows we eat early so why doesn't she
realize that I assume she will be home unless she lets us know. Well, we
went ahead and ate and Don picked her up at the time arranged. The 49ers
lost and the Kansas City Chiefs lost so the Buffalo Bills and Dallas will
be going to the Super Bowl. I could care less. I called Priss and she
said it rained over an inch but I wonder about that. I certainly hope so
though. I wrote a long letter to Pauline and I think it was a good one. I
have decided not to comment on her lectures about art, visits to museums,
etc. I just wrote about what is
16
happening here. I am sure she finds my letters dull. I hope I feel ok
tomorrow because I have a meeting in the afternoon and I have to do my
walk. I shortened a white cotton skirt today. You can say I want spring
to be here.
January 24 - Rain!
It is 9:30 p.m. and I have been dozing instead of reading so best that I
write in this and then go to bed. It rained all night and it was still
raining when we got up this morning. I had set out cinnamon rolls for
both Don and Niki. I wanted one for myself but decided against it. Don
went off to see Tom after taking Niki to school. I started washing
clothes, changed our bed and remade it with different sheets and then I
got to cooking. First I made hot dish and I froze one and set one aside
for tonight. Then I made chili and got three containers of that in the
freezer. Don went to see Kay Kohen, Niki's history teacher and she is
getting a C for the semester and is doing fine. She likes her and thinks
she can do much better. I walked to K-Mart to buy veggie powder and I
looked at clothes and saw a pair of black slacks for $10. Walked home and
got ready to go to Stars. When I got back had lunch and then walked to KMart, tried on the slacks and got them but they were on sale so I paid
only $7. Don got back from his piano lesson and I made a green salad and
then went to the Hall of Fame meeting. Got home about 5:15 and we ate
dinner and then watched the news. Niki did her home work and watched TV.
She has checked on the Sports Club run by Jess Stover and there is an
initiation fee of $125 and it costs $48 all month. I am going to check on
a similar membership and I must talk to Don about this. Tomorrow I must
iron, shorten my slacks and I should start to think about washing
windows. At least in this weather I cold do the insides. Got a long, long
letter from Donna. She told me all about the family. Her folks are both
very old. Well I think I should brush my teeth and [ ? ]. Talked to
Priss. I have 20 tickets to sell for the Hall of Fame dinner. At least
Priss said she would go.
January 25 - rain
I woke up after another night of strange but not bad dreams. I usually
don't remember what I dream but this morning I did at least for awhile. I
had a most productive day. I started right after breakfast. I washed bath
mats and towels to dry Daisy etc. I hand washed a wool sweater of Don's.
I cleaned all three bathrooms, a job I detest. I vacuumed the kitchen,
living room and TV room. I ironed six shirts plus other things. I
shortened the black slacks I got yesterday at K-Mart. After all that I
found it was time for lunch so I fixed Don's and mine and then while Don
napped I walked to K-Mart to see if they could get a tan pair of slacks
like my black ones. They could not. I went to Lucky and got Knudsens
cottage cheese and came home. I fed Daisy and then Don took me to Dr.
Murrill's to check the chip in my front tooth. There was a filling on the
back of it and it was cracked so he had to take the filling out and
replace it but it looks fine. Don picked me up because it was raining too
much to walk. I had made ginger snacks and they were a big success with
everyone. For dinner I reheated last nights hot dish and I fixed a fruit
17
plate and I made scones which were very good. Linda called. Pam Bishop is
in the hospital for having had very painful stomach cramps. They think it
may be stomach cancer. They are doing tests and Nick, her son, said he
would call as soon as they knew more. It may mean that Linda & Craig will
have to go down during the week. They planned to be in San Francisco on
Saturday and were coming up here on Sunday to pick up Linda's car and
drive back to Tahoe. Clinton gave his state of the union speech tonight
and I thought it was terrific! He has a way with words. I took a shower
right after dinner so now at 8:30 I am ready for bed. I will read for
awhile and then I am going to go to bed. I am having trouble keeping my
eyes open.
January 26
As usual Wednesday is a heavy day and today was no different. Up at the
usual time and right after the papers were read I got dressed and walked
to Safeway. I wanted to find ground beef marked down but there wasn't any
but I found two small tough steaks for $1.79 and I got Don a doughnut.
When I got home I fixed potatoes mashed the news special way and I
pounded the meat and browned it and made a sauce for it. Then at 9:20 I
went outside and decided to work one hour. So I hauled wood chips and
raked borders for an hour. Came in and fixed my lunch and then got ready
for Stars. I left at 15 to 12 knowing I had to walk the long way to the
library since the creek now has water in it and I can't cut through. So I
rushed home and ate my lunch, changed my clothes and walked to the
library. Typed 51 cards and filed then and then waited for Don to arrive
which he did shortly. Niki was ticked off because Mr. Jones had called
her in and gave her Saturday school for cutting. I felt as little guilty
because I had talked to him and told him she had cut but she wasn't
really too mad. I put the meat in the oven, did the salad greens and made
the rest of the dinner. Everything was very good and we were all hungry
and cleaned our plates in a hurry. They there was the news and then at
6:30 I called Priss and she talked for 35 minutes, repeating herself at
times and mainly talking about people who were ill with one thing or
another. All real depressing. Sometimes I dread making that nightly call.
When we were done I read a rather dull book so I skimmed it. Now it is 9
p.m. Don's back is bothering him again so he has spent the evening with
the heating pad as he watched a documentary on Malcolm X. Tomorrow I have
the Discovery Shop in the afternoon. In the morning I have to wash and
set my hair and I have to come up with something for dinner. Day after
day after day I have to think, "What are we going to have for dinner." It
never ends. I think I have been eating too much. I feel fat!
January 27
Not exactly an exciting day. We got up a little before 5:30. I had made
oatmeal/rice cereal last night so I just had to cook it. We all ate some.
Then I shampooed and set my hair. I couldn't find my shampoo that I
bought special. I had not used it all so it was a mystery. I went outside
and worked on the front lawn again. It was hard work loading the
wheelbarrow with the wood chips because they are laced with dirt and that
makes the
18
material heavy. Don got back from tennis and then he pitched in so we got
a lot done and the piles are going down. We came in the house and I
thawed cinnamon rolls. Then I took a shower and got dressed. We had lunch
and Don went down for a nap and I wrote a long letter to Jenny. At 15 to
1 Don took me to the Discovery Shop. I worked with Mrs. Meyer who was
very nice and Betty Pyle and Peggy Sever hours in the back room. It was a
slow afternoon with not much business and there was not much stuff to
bring out so the time dragged. I did find two pair of shorts one 50 cents
and one 75 cents that I will keep and some sweater vests but they did not
look good on me. Also a dress for $1.00 but I don't think I will keep
that either. Don picked me up at 4 and I found out that when he went to
the dentist today to have a filling replaced the doctor used something
new and he is not to chew anything for 24 hours so he heated potato soup.
[ ? ] I and I had a half cheese sandwich and then I ate some frozen
yogurt dipping the bites in chocolate sauce. Where is my will power when
I need it? We watched the news and Tonya Harding now says that she didn't
know about the plot to hit Kerrigan so she couldn't skate till after it
was done but she should have come forward right away and didn't. I don't
know how this is all going to end. I called Priss and it was very
unsatisfactory. She tends to repeat herself and we really didn't have
much to talk about tonight. She has bought candles for Linda for a
wedding present and she was complaining about how much they cost and I
found that in poor taste but couldn't say anything. Sometimes I wish I
had never started this business of calling every night. At least now I am
going to read for awhile.
January 28
Hopefully by tomorrow night we will have moved all the wood chips from
the tree stump grinding. After breakfast this morning while Don played
tennis I moved nine wheelbarrow loads to various borders. When Don got
back he filled about 5 more and then we quit. He had hit himself in the
upper lip with the racquet while reaching for a ball. He has so many
accidents on the court. I came in the house and changed my clothes and
fixed my lunch. Don was going to his luncheon group at Lisa's at 1:30. I
decided to go for a walk and so I walked to Walgreens to get pills then
to the end of East for crossed to the Mall to go to Casual Corner where I
got a free pair of stockings. Then home. Fed Daisy and then [ ? ] to
Niki. Don had driven Linda's car to the lunch so I had our car. Julie
called saying she had earned four A's and one B which adds up to $45 and
Niki got an A in Math so there goes another $10. I think it would be much
better if we had two cars but we just can't afford it. Then the mail
came. There was a letter for both of us from Dr. Wooding saying she was
closing her practice as of the first of April. I immediately called Dr.
Sally Folsh, the one who took care of me when I had pneumonia and Dr.
Wooding was gone. When Don got home he too called to have her be our
doctor so now we both have to go to get acquainted. That will be on the
14th or 15th of the month. The man came at 10 a.m. to start work on the
fence. Today he dug post holes and put in the cement. He got all of them
done except the ones by the driveway and he will do them Monday and then
start at the other end to put the boards on. The weather is supposed to
19
continue good so he will have it done this next week hopefully. Tuna
salad and broccoli for dinner. Niki made chocolate chip cookies. She has
to put in two hours at Saturday school tomorrow from 8 to 10. She goes to
Valerie's tomorrow night. Sunday Linda comes but for only a short time.
January 29
Up and away - I was on the road to Mary's by 7:15. Not many people at the
Market today. I did get three nice red lettuces for 50 cents but was not
interested in anything else. On to Food for Less where I spent $38. That
seemed like a lot but I bought a ham for $8 and that in part explains.
Then the Cannery had some good things this time so I spent more there
than usual and then home. Don had taken Niki to Saturday school at PV for
her truancy a long time ago. She didn't seem too upset by it. I changed
my clothes and had taken six wheelbarrows of stump grindings to various
places by the time Don arrived after getting Niki. Then he came and
helped and by noon we had done all we could do. Now we will have to wait
to see how much it settles. On Monday if the weather holds the man will
be back to work on the fence. After lunch I walked to Walgreens and Longs
to get exciting things like anusol suppositories and cream, pain
relievers, and moisturizing cream — the fun of being old. Valerie arrived
and she and Niki were here and then Loren (Valerie's boyfriend) came and
then Don took them to Ray's and from there Valerie and Niki were going to
spend the night at Valerie's. So then Don and I were on our own for the
rest of the day and the night. Priss had brought Linda's wedding present
over but I was in the shower, so I called her in the evening and we
talked. She was going out for dinner and I was pleased for her. I made a
simple dinner: turkey sandwiches, heated up mashed potatoes and small
salad. There were cookies for dessert. Niki made such a huge batch we
will be eating them for a long time. I watched the news at 6 but before
that we walked to the end of North Avenue together. I am so pleased that
there's still light after we eat. I love that walk at the end of the day.
Then we talked and read and then at 8:30 we had drinks and then we went
to bed and made love and it was just great. Since we are not alone very
much any more it means so much when we can be alone that we treasure it
more somehow. Jenny called in the evening. She said she was lonesome. We
don't know if Niki misses her mother or not. She never says but then she
is the quiet one although she is talking more than she used to. I think
she is happier but I am not sure. At least I am not as uptight as I was
to begin with.
January 30
We got up at 5:30. Is was cold in the early morning. There was ice on the
car. We backed up Mary and went to church. I am not very impressed with
Father DeLeon. I think he is either ambitious and wants to move up the
ladder fast or his Filipino background makes him naive about the church
today. Praising the authority of the bishops at a time when they have
handled the molesting of children by priests in such a bad way makes it
hard for me to think the bishops are a great group. We stopped at
Walgreens to buy a clock for
20
Don's desk. Then when we got home I went to work in the kitchen. I had
fixed the pie crust last night so it just had to be baked. Then I made
the lemon filling and I made a potato salad. After that I washed the
kitchen floor, mended Don went to the south yard to trim the ivy and
ended up tearing most of it down. We decided in the Fall we would take it
all out and re-build the fence across that area and redo the make shift
shed where we store wood. Another big project - more cost. Jason called
wanting to know if we had any air miles because he would like to go to
New York over Easter with a friend. Don will check. We had lunch and Don
laid down for awhile. I decided to go for a walk in the early evening and
when I got back Linda & Craig were here and had come right after I left.
They had had the potato salad and turkey sandwiches. Linda loved the
candle sticks and the candles but they had to leave right away because
they still had the long drive to Tahoe. I finished putting the lemon pie
together and baked it and it turned out just beautifully. We had the ham
salad, leftover broccoli and the pie for dinner. Niki had gone to the
show with Valerie, her boyfriend and their family. She called when they
got back and said she would be home at about 7:30 and she got here
shortly after. I started reading through some of my journals. I picked
1969 and read about the kids at that time and then I got out 1979 and
read about taking care of Niki and so before she went to bed I read about
babysitting her and she liked it. I just wish I had kept a calendar with
events as I have done in recent years.
January 31
It's 8 p.m. and I am sitting in my chair in my warm house coat with my
faithful shawl around me and my knit booties on. It is warm during the
day and it was bright and sunny out today but by nightfall it is cool and
I like to be cozy in my chair. I had a busy morning. I decided to make
bread this morning and I had bought a new kind of yeast that is in the
bulk rather than in pakage form so I made my usual recipe and then
decided to walk to Safeway to get bananas and doughnuts for Don who was
playing tennis. Well by the time I got back home my bread had risen way
above the pan. I worked it down and put it in the pans and then I was
worried that I would not be able to get to Stars because it would not be
done but I made it ok. I think the bread was a bit coarse and next time I
will work more flour in it. I worked hard at Stars and was glad to get
home and eat my lunch. Then Don and I walked to K-Mart to look for dye to
make my gray tights into charcoal gray but they didn't have any so we
went to Lucky for papayas and then to Longs and to Ben Franklin where I
got gray and when I got home I dyed them but they are still not dark
enough but they are better. My knees hurt and I was weak. The man who is
doing the fence has all the posts in, the cross pieces and he got some of
the boards on. Maybe he can finish them tomorrow and then work on the
gates on Wednesday. I am getting anxious to have it done. Dinner was a
bit of a feast. The ham was good and we had leftover potato salad; I made
a veggie stir fry but it was tasteless. Well better luck next time.
Watched the news - drug use among teenagers is again on the rise and that
is frightening. Nothing has been settled about Tonya Harding and the
Olympics skating.
21
Everyone is getting bored with it. I think I am bored because the days
are so much the same. My hair is too long and unruly. I feel fat although
I guess I am really not but I am not happy with myself. Talked to Linda
this morning. She talked about teenagers dating and we decided that the
first time you fall in love you fall in love with love and then you tend
to fall in love with someone who needs you more than you need him. Then
hopefully you fall in love with someone on an equal basis. So what does
this perfect? No couple is 50/50, and it varies from day to day. 60/40 20/80 - it changes from day to day. Enough!
February 1
Part of winter is having sore fingers and thumbs. We both get cracks and
they are so painful. After breakfast and the papers this morning, Don got
out the vacuum to clean the furnace filters and since it was out I
decided to clean the kitchen, living room and TV room. Don went off to
have breakfast with Carl so I had the house to myself and I dusted,
changed the flowers and everything looked nice. Today Niki went to her
first class at 6:15. She got up at 6 and went off with Don without any
fuss. I can never think of the name of the place but it was Jeff Stover's
Sport Club. I called and made an appointment at 10 a.m. to have a hair
cut with Heidi at it Beauty College. She did a very good job. It was
chilly walking there and it takes a good 25 minutes each way. When I got
home it was after 11 so I ate lunch and then I shaved my legs, showered,
shampooed and set my hair. The fence is now done except for the two gates
and it was just perfect. The redwood makes it look pink at the moment. I
just wish it would stay that color. I raked the lawn and got a lot of
leaves and twigs up and will do more tomorrow. Niki came home from school
feeling sick. I think she may be getting the flu. I fixed tomato soup and
chef salads for Don and me. Niki slept right away when she got home until
6:30 and then she had a bagel and some orange juice. I called Priss and
she talked again about Tonya Harding the Olympic skater who is implicated
in beating Miss Kerrigan. Bill came at 5 and he will come to dig up the
ivy in the south yard and then he will trim the bushes in the back yard.
We woke up early and talked. I told Don that sometimes I wonder about my
life today. It is different when I am not working at a job. The days go
by and they are all about the same and often I am bored and I think am I
doing anything worth while and does [anyone] care. He admitted that he
often felt the same way. I guess it is part of growing older. When the
kids were young we didn't have time to talk of things like this. And we
had more fun ourselves so it seemed that we would live forever.
February 2
It is really chilly in the early morning now but it does warm up later in
the morning. Since Niki had not felt well yesterday I knew she would be
staying home so we didn't try to wake her. Don went off to play tennis
and I put on warm clothes and went out in the front yard. I did some
raking and then I got some boards to put down at the bottom of the fence
and filled in dirt so when we water, it will not leak through. Don't know
if this will work or not but worth trying. When Don got home we worked
together [sawing] boards in
22
various lengths. The man came at 10 to do the gates. I took all our
clothes and soaked them and then put them in the wash since there was
plenty [of] mud on them. Then I changed my clothes and went to Walgreens
to get Niki cough drops. Came home and had lunch and walked to the
library. There were 90 cards to type and I worked hard but did not finish
by the time that Don came. We stopped at S&S for some things and when we
got home Cathy was here. We were so pleased to see her. She likes the
fence and the trees. She is working almost full time and so is very
tried. Don was supposed to quit smoking today but he asked Cathy for a
cigarette and they went to the south yard. We visited and then she left.
The mail came and Niki's report card was there. She got A's in
recordkeeping, math and science. B in PE and C's in English and History.
We were stunned but very happy and she was certainly pleased. I made
turkey hot dish and a green salad and heated rolls. Made vanilla pudding
for Don and Niki. We watched the news but first I did my evening walk.
The weather man said it may rain by the weekend but so far it has been
clear. Now the fence is done, the gates are made and we have pretty well
cleaned up the lawn and the borders. I have lost some plants. No [ ? ]
about that but I think that it is to be expected. Don went off to Jacki's
tonight to a [ ? ] group. We called Linda to tell her about the report
card. Mike sent his surveys for Niki and they came today and she has been
checking them and will send them back. I have tried to call Priss but the
line is busy every time. I hope I can take it easy tomorrow. But I should
start washing windows.
February 3
It's just about 8 p.m. and I am weary indeed. This morning was
uneventful. Niki did get up at 6 and she went to the Sports Club without
a murmur. I was surprised. Then Don went off to play tennis so I swept
the driveway, gutters, walked etc. and started to water. I will have to
get some plants to fill in but I just hope the grass comes back. I got
dressed to go to the Discovery Shop. Don went off with Carl to have lunch
at Mary Bock. I ate my lunch and then got in the car to go to the
Discovery Shop when Don got back so he drove me there and dropped me off.
It was a slow afternoon but I did find some nice things. I got a brown
vest ($1.75) that is warm, Liz Claiborne shirt ($1.50) in a caramel color
that matches a top I already have, a silk scarf for 35 cents. Also a bed
spread but I may not keep that. When I got home I made waffles, fixed a
fruit plate, cheese and pickles and I was ready to serve dinner. Then
Niki told me that she needed gym clothes, a sports bra and a folder. Well
she didn't tell me she wrote it down! So off we went and it was almost
dark and it was way over to Nord Avenue. I was very nervous but made it
and then to Mervyns and Longs and finally home and we had spent $55! Wow!
I hope this doesn't happen very often but she did need those things. Came
home finally and I had made it in the dark and with lots of traffic. I
was glad about that. Then I tried on the things I had gotten at the
Discovery Shop. Called Priss and she claimed that she was home all
evening last night and that she didn't talk to anyone. Well there was a
busy signal every time I called but what could I say? I gave up. Well
after about half an hour I was done with that task and I got ready for
bed and then Don and I decided to watch Culp & Crosby all these
23
years later doing a S Spy. Well there was a lot of padding and it was not
very good. So at 9 we quit. Then I read for awhile. Niki is trying to
catch up on her homework because she missed a day. I am glad tomorrow is
Friday.
February 4
We slept in and it was 5:30 by the time I got going and Niki wanted to be
wakened at 6 and be on her way by 6:15. I hustled and Don went out to
warm up the car and she made it in time. On the way home Don picked up
doughnuts and Alice arrived at 7:30 with oranges and pecans. We had a
good visit for an hour and I enjoy her so much and feel so comfortable
with her. Then I folded clothes and ironed and then I shortened two
skirts, the new carmel colored one that I got at the Discovery Shop and
the blue denim one that I have had since early fall but did not get
around to making it shorter. By then it was time to go to Stars. I put in
my hour and came home and made and ate lunch. Then Don wanted to go for a
walk so we went to S&S. I must go back to get Suka etc. when I am in the
car. When we got back I suggested that we use the boards that were
[there] and fence next to the Rummels since they put in a new one. So we
took the nails out of them and Don cut his hand on a rusty nail so he
checked and found out he had had a tetanus shot in '89 so he was ok. I
hate to throw lumber away when it is so expensive. I even took the broken
board out of the gate to the north patio and replaced it and it looks so
much better. Then Don got Niki and he took pictures of her in the front
yard near the trees and then we took ones of each other. For dinner I
opened a can of Italian veggie soup and I cooked more noodles and added
part of a can of tomato soup and it was good. Made grilled cheese
sandwiches and I had a little dish of frozen yogurt. Niki called people
on the phone and finally made arrangements to go to the movie with Sandi
and friends and she will stay at Sandi's for the night. Priss had called
this morning so I didn't call this evening. Don got the movie Heart and
Souls because Cathy has said it was good and it was. I cried a lot
because it was so sweet. Grodin was in it and I always like him. So then
we played cards till 8:45 and Don has gone with Niki to take the girls to
the movie. Poor Niki. If she doesn't have plans for Friday and Saturday
night she is just frantic.
February 5
It is 7:45 p.m. and I find that I have dozing in my chair and not
reading. It has been a quiet uneventful day. Niki spent the night at
Sandy's so Don didn't have to take her anywhere all day. She is still
there now and will be calling soon for a ride home. We got up and I did
my morning routine and was in the car on my way to Mary's by 7:15. There
was frost on the car by wasn't all that cold. At the Market, I got
broccoli, Fuji apples that Don loves and pear apples. There wasn't much
that was exciting at either Food For Less or the Cannery. I took Mary
back to our house so that she could see the fence and the trees in the
front yard. After the groceries were all put away I walked to K-Mart and
found royal blue candles so I bought four of them since I want them for
Thursday morning and Saturday morning. Not that I will be lighting them
in the morning but I want
24
them on hand. Came back and had lunch and then worked outside moving some
plants around and raking. We called and talked to Jenny. We got a letter
from her today and she sounded very lonesome. Don made a fire and we read
till dinner time when we had scrambled eggs and scones. Niki stayed at
Sandy's. Don will be going to Los Altos tomorrow to Tom's memorial
service so I guess I won't be going to church. He still doesn't know if
he will stay the night or not. We watched the news and then I called
Priss. She had had lunch with Jack Rawlins and had had a wonderful time
so she talked much of that. Now it is getting toward bedtime. I am bored
and sleepy so I guess I will go to bed.
February 6
We woke up to rain and it rained off and on all day. Don left at 7:30 for
Los Altos and Tom Branham's funeral. Niki spend the night at Sandy's so
after he left it was just Daisy and I. I got busy right away. I made
rolls from old and recipe and ended up with three pans of cinnamon rolls
and 12 dinner rolls. Then I made a French Stew since I will be going to
Hall of Fame meeting tomorrow afternoon and since no one ate dinner here
tonight I thought we should have a good dinner tomorrow night. Then I
washed two loads of clothes and dried them and will iron tomorrow
morning. I wrote two letters, one to Jenny and one to Pauline. They were
both long and I think good ones. I had Slim Fast for breakfast and I ate
an egg salad sandwich for lunch. In the evening I ate what I usually have
at noon: fruit and cottage cheese. Niki came home at 10 from Sandy's and
then almost right away she went off with Valerie and didn't get home till
7:15. She keeps calling while she is gone getting her latest plan and I
think it is strange that she feels she has to be doing something every
minute of the weekend and none of it can be here. I watched the news at 5
and 5:30 and it was just ending when Don arrived. He had left Los Altos
right after the funeral was over and drove right straight through. It
rained all the way both coming and going and the traffic was horrendous
so he was exhausted. He said the ceremony was very good and he was much
moved by it. Many people when they found out who he was said that Tom had
told them about him. So he changed his clothes and fixed himself a drink
and we went out on the north patio while he had a cigarette. He decided
he didn't want anything to eat and I did not insist. I changed out of my
day clothes and am ready for bed because at 9 I want to watch Breathing
Lessons with James Garner and Joan Woodward. Called Priss and she started
in on the Rossman's again. They are my friends and I get tired of "I
don't dislike them but" routine. I suppose I will have to say something
about their coming on Thursday.
February 7
It is 9 p.m. and Don has come to bed with a headache and Niki has gone to
bed with the flu. I really don't feel great myself but hopefully I am not
sick. My legs ache and my stomach feels a bit strange. Oh well, what was
today like? We got up a little after 5.1 found I was still tired from
watching Breathing Lessons till 11. After breakfast I did the
25
ironing from yesterday's washing and then I walked to Safeway to buy a
papaya, 1 grapefruit and some meat marked down. When I got home I fixed
my lunch and set it aside and then got dressed for Stars. Luanne was in
charge today and she works us much harder than Any so I was huffing and
puffing. I ate my lunch when I got home and then showered, shampooed and
set my hair. Then I made and frosted a chocolate cake and did the salad
greens. Niki came home from school feeling terrible so she fell asleep on
her bed while watching TV and did not want to eat when I woke her so Don
and I ate the stew I had made yesterday with the salad and the cake. Then
the news. Peter Jennings is in Bosnia and he is so involved that he has
lost his sense of perspective and he blames Clinton for not doing
something. I like him very much but I think he is wrong on this one. So
then I called Priss and we got along ok tonight thank goodness. It went
ok. I will be glad when the dinner is over. My new Good Housekeeping came
today and I have been reading from it. Now Niki has a load of clothes in
the wash and I must stay up till I can put things in the dryer and then I
will go to bed. I too am tired.
February 8
I am sitting here in my warm sweatshirt, dark green housecoat, and my
stole is wrapped around me and I am still cold. I think the temperature
is going down tonight. We slept till 6 this morning but then we knew that
Niki would not be going to school because she felt so lousy last night so
I woke her at 8 and at 8:30 we were at Convenient Care and Dr. Archer
said her ears were very infected, a raw, red sore throat, nose inflamed,
etc. etc. In other words she was really sick so there were 3 Rxs and she
is not to go to school till Monday. There is no school on Friday. I
called and it told the Attendance Office and I called to get her homework
and will pick it up at 3:30 tomorrow afternoon. After we got home I got
out two vases and took them to the South deck and cut Quince and arranged
it right outside so I could trim etc. Then I walked to K-Mart, the party
place and finally Ben Franklin to look for the right color of candles,
since I took some Quince with me to match. After lunch I fixed three
chicken thighs for the oven, did a grapefruit kiwi salad, fixed potatoes
to bake and I had green string beans. Priss had called say she had
spinach soup for us so I gave her some fr. stew and applesauce. She
stayed to visit and then left the car and took Cinders for a walk. She
came back to say that she had dropped her keys and so Don drove her to
her house so that she could get another key. Then Don and I walked the
way she had walked to look for the keys but we did not find them. So then
it was dinner time and the meal was very good. Everyone cleaned plates.
We watched the news and then Don left for a Hospice meeting and I called
Linda. We had a long long talk. I can always talk to her. Tomorrow I have
Stars and the library and I also have to get busy on the preparation for
the brunch on Thursday. Linda had a bad reaction to a new provera that
she started to take. She must be very careful about what she takes. I
will tell Don all about it when he gets back home.
February 9
26
It is a little after 8 p.m. and I am a weary lady. We got up at the usual
time and I did all my exercise. Don went off to play tennis and I got
dressed and walked to Safeway to get cottage cheese for my lunch. When I
got back I tried to wash the living room windows and that is a big job
but it went fast. Probably tomorrow morning when the sun is shining on
them they won't look so great but they looked fine when I was done
because the sun was not directly on them. I then decided I would not go
to Stars since I have to walk the long way to the library now that there
is water in the creek. So I ate my lunch and walked to the library. I got
there picked out my books that I wanted to check out and then I typed 91
cards and I got done just as Don arrived. I had him stop at the Big 5
because I have to buy white Reebocks like my black ones. The had them but
they were not on sale so I will go back to Mervyns tomorrow to see if
they still have them on sale. When I got home I put the stew in the oven
plus Priss' soup and I got out some rolls to eat and I made a Waldorf
salad. Niki seems to be taking all her medication. I did go to PV and get
her homework and I talked to Susan Bruce about her credits. I will ask
Jenny to check again in [Australia]. We watched the news and Peter
Jennings spoke almost the whole program on the Whitewater deal. It seems
to be the thing these days to try people on TV instead of in the courts.
I have a [ ? ] counsel if TV is going to do it for us. I was angry. So I
went to have a shower after I talked to Priss for a rather short time and
then I went out to watch the program on elephants that Don was watching
and I wish I had seen the whole thing. Niki wants to go to school
tomorrow and we don't think she should go because she was at the doctor's
on Tuesday and tomorrow is just Thursday. She is very angry with us.
February 10 - cold and rainy
It is 8 p.m. Niki is watching TV in her room and Don is doing the same in
the back room. I have been reading. It has been a very busy day. We got
up at 5 and I went right to work. I did the fruit compote and then I
sliced the ham to eat a set out all the ingredients for the egg puff,
heated the rolls and made the frosting for them. Then I set the table
with the royal blue mats, and with the blue bowl, candles and the white
dishes and the coral Quince it looked great. Don vacuumed the living room
and kitchen and by 9:30 we were both dressed and I put the egg puff in
the oven. I wore my black stirrup slacks and the black top with black and
white scarf. All three arrived together: Rosemans and Jack Rawlins. It
was a rather strange time. George is more deaf and confused than ever
before and Helen is more impatient with him. She doesn't look well and
doesn't feel well. Jack looks rather thin. Very very sad. The food was
good and they seemed to enjoy it but it wasn't the funnest time. They
left and we put everything in the dishwasher. Niki had come in a few
times but spent most of the time in her bedroom watching TV. I decided to
go out to the Chico Mall because the white Reebocks that I have wanted
were on sale at Sears for $29. Cheaper than the Mervyns for $39 and even
cheaper than at $44 at Big 5.1 had not been to the Chico Mall for months
so I walked around looking at things and then came home. Niki wanted to
go to the Sports Club to swim and sit in the Sauna (Dr. Archer had
suggested that) so I took her and then Don picked her up an hour later. I
27
stopped at Lucky and got a turkey since they were on sale for 50 cents
per pound and some other things. We didn't really have any dinner but
just sort of had luncheon stuff. Now I am in my gown and housecoat and
will spend time reading. I don't know if Niki has caught up on her
homework or not. Sometimes I don't want to keep checking on her. But if I
don't I am not sure that she will keep working on her school work. She
has big plans for tomorrow and so she will be up at 6 and off to the
Sports Club. Well that is good. I feel sad about Helen and George. They
used to be such fun. We are all getting older I realize. But so far Don
and I look and act younger. We did go for a walk late in the evening and
between showers.
February 11 - clear cold morning but warm in the afternoon
I woke at 5 and got right up because I knew Niki wanted to be at the club
by 6:15. That means I have to wake her at 6. So got Don's breakfast,
brushed Daisy, neated up the lounge in the living room and had done my
exercises by 6. Niki doesn't seem to mind at all getting up to go to the
Club and she took her swim suit along to swim as well. So then while Don
went to play tennis I did two loads of clothes. At 9 we both went to
Holiday for grapefruit and lemons. Then to S&S for ginger, dates, Jack
cheese, Suka, and to Lucky for cottage cheese. Since I have to do the
brunch again tomorrow and on next Thursday for Alice, Cassie and Priss I
tried to get in the needed supplies. How easy and cheap living would be
if we didn't have to buy and prepare food! By the time I had folded the
clothes it was time to go to Stars where I had a good workout. Then home
for lunch and while Don napped I got the ironing done. Then at 1 p.m. we
went for a walk and it was long one. We even walked down along the creek.
Fed Daisy and then worked in the kitchen till dinner. Made a tuna salad
fixed broccoli with cheese sauce and had hot French bread for our dinner.
By then I made another batch of cinnamon rolls and dinner rolls for
tomorrow and Thursday. I was really tired when I sat down to dinner. Then
there was the news. Niki and Valerie stopped by to get clothes and Niki
is spending the night at Valerie's. I called Priss and talked to her for
about half a hour. Then I took a hot shower and put lotion all over so
that now I am nice and clean. Talked to Linda for a little while. She
wants me to write Jenny about some kind are boots that she wants. Since I
write to Jenny at the weekend I will do it. Later Don asked if I wanted a
drink and I said yes. We had bourbon and water and talked. We used to
worry about our children and now we worry about Niki. We haven't much
progress it would seem. Then we went to bed and made love and that turned
out to be fine so it was a nice end to the day.
February 12
I woke up at 4:30 and stayed in bed till almost 5 since Don and Daisy
were still asleep. Fixed breakfast for Don and then did a short version
of my exercises before starting on the brunch. I set the table and did
the fruit compote before getting dressed to go grocery shopping. It was
really cold when we started out with ice on the car but Don had gone out
and started the motor before so it was not hard to drive. At the Food
Market I got kiwis,
28
Fuji apples, broccoli and then on to Food for Less and the Cannery. Lots
of good things at the Cannery for less so I spent $30 at the first and
$20 at the second. Came home and got right to work. I made frosting for
the cinnamon rolls, then heated them and frosted them heated the ham and
made the egg puff so when people came at 11:15. I went over to the
apartment and read the E-Record and then I started a book but I was tired
so I lay down and dozed. Woke up when Daisy barked at the mail man. The
people were just leaving and Don was putting the dishes in the washer. So
then he laid down and I wrote to Jenny. Niki had spent the night at
Valerie's and she showed up with Valerie and they went to the Mall. Later
Don and I went for a walk. I had spent some time outside with Daisy. I
did some pruning and raking. I think it is going to rain tomorrow evening
though it was bright and sunny this afternoon. I made a macaroni salad
when I came home and Valerie and Niki showed up after going to the Mall.
The Mall has become a big part of their life. I set out bits and pieces
of various foods and the girls ate and then watched TV in the apartment
where eventually they slept. I watched the opening of the Olympics until
11 and then I went to bed. It was very colorful but long and when they
were still going at it at 11 I said enough already.
February 13
We didn't get up till almost 6 this morning. We are getting lazy. The
girls were sleeping in naturally so I did a hasty exercise routine,
glanced at the paper and it was time to go to church. When we came home I
changed my clothes and got busy making meat loaves. Out [of] two pounds
of ground round, one pound of ground turkey and a bit of sausage, I made
four small meat loaves. Froze three and had one for dinner. Then Don and
I did the Mall walk and stopped at Longs to get a Valentine card for Niki
and some canned pineapple. It was after 11 by then so we had lunch and I
read for awhile and then I dressed up the leftover broccoli, made salad
greens ready, and got out some potato deals that one bakes. Don wanted to
go for another walk so I joined him although my left leg is painful and
it is not great walking. I don't know what the scoop is on that. Niki
called Julie and she came and picked her up and they went to the mall and
then to a movie Tombstone. They both liked it. I suggested that Julie
stay for dinner so she called home and then stayed. She is very polite
and helpful. I had made an angel food cake with pink frosting and that
pleased everyone. But I am tired of sweets after too many cinnamon rolls
etc. so I look forward to some days with less food. I think I will try to
take Lent seriously this year. I did the mile walk after dinner so I got
in my walking today. I said something to Niki about Lent and she didn't
know what it was so I tried to explain. What a shame that Jenny never did
anything at all about this with her. She says she doesn't believe in God
but she is totally ignorant about the whole thing so she has an opinion
with no knowledge. That is sad. Well we can't solve everything all at
once. I have watched the news and now I plan to read for awhile.
February 14
29
Daisy came in at a little after 4 a.m. and Don let her outside and then
came back to bed but we finally got up a little before 5. Very chilly yet
in the early mornings. Don took Niki at 6 to the Sport Club. Don went off
to play tennis at 7:30 and I shaved my legs, washed, shampooed and set my
hair. When it was dry I walked the mall route and then stopped at Lucky
to get a papaya, romaine, tomatoes and some Vitamin B6. Then I fixed my
lunch and got ready for Stars. Don went to Dr. Foltz and I rode along and
then went to Stars and afterwards I picked him up and we went home to
lunch. I read for awhile and then made a grapefruit-kiwi salad and I got
out three chicken pies to bake. There was another meeting of the Hall of
Fame at 4. Niki called to say not to pick her up because she had to make
up an English test but Don forgot to tell her that I had to be at the
meeting at 4 and she didn't come so finally he said to go ahead and I
went. It didn't last long. When I got back he said Niki had called from
Van Rossum's so he went to pick her up. Because it was Valentines Day
there was a lot of candy at school so she didn't eat dinner. In the
morning I got a card from Don and a lot of red and silver Hershey kisses.
For Niki I got her a heart shaped covered dish for things like earrings,
etc. Don got her a card and a pair of earrings made of red hearts. She
seemed pleased. But back to the car. With a third party here it gets to
be more and more difficult to keep everyone happy and I seem to be the
one who is unhappy. When Don went off to Los Altos I was stuck at home
and couldn't go to church. And each time it is the same thing. I still
resent and I am afraid I will always resent the fact that I did have a
car and then some child wanted one so Don blithefully gave then mine -unfair. Now it is evening and I guess I will read for awhile. My
arthritis has bothered me today and I finally remembered that I had some
naprocyns left from a long time ago and I took one and it helped. But I
had to rely on pills. Tomorrow is Shrove Tuesday and Jackie's party.
February 15
It is 8 p.m. and I am so full of food I may burst! It is a good thing
that Lent begins tomorrow! We got up at 5 and after the paper had been
read I made mayo, vacuumed and spot cleaned the kitchen floor, watered
the plants and planting some things that Alice had brought me. I didn't
walk today. It was chilly this morning and I showered, pinned up my hair
and just didn't feel like going out when it was cold. I spent some time
outside checking on plants so I was busy till lunch time. I also re-did
the two Quince arrangements, one on the coffee table and one on the
dining room table. Then it was lunch time. Don was going to the noon
Hospice meeting so he was gone from 12 - 2. I got out the brown vest I
had gotten at the Discovery Shop and I needed some kind of belt to run
through the loops and I got out an old neck tie of Don's that was striped
in blues, grays, and beige, cut it and put Velcro at the ends and it
looks great. At 2:45 I went for my appointment with Dr. Foltz. It was at
2:45 and I finally got to see her at 3:30 and didn't get home till 4:20.
I liked her. She is very low key but seemed competent. At 6 we went to
Jackie's. It was somewhat of a different group today. Lois [ ? ], Billy &
Kirk, Jeff Livingston (Julie had a meeting and couldn't come) Emily
Newton, Dale and Karen, Lisa,
30
the three of us and Jackie. The food was great and there was so much of
it and we all ate too much as usual. Bacon, sausage, scrambled eggs,
waffles, syrup, strawberries, whipped cream, orange juice and my mints
that cost $7 last year and almost $9 this year. We stayed till 7:30 and
then came home. I could go to bed right this minute but will stay up for
awhile. Everyone was very nice to Niki. We talked to Linda today and she
was fine. Got a long letter from Jenny and she is fine but lonely. She
finally got Niki's credits. I will take them to Susan Bruce.
February 16
It's 7:15 p.m. and I have just had a tongue-lashing from Priss who claims
I didn't tell her it was a brunch and that it was at 10:00. I am so fed
up that I just wish I did not have to go through with the deal tomorrow
at all. I am sure she will dwell on it the whole time she is here. I have
this burning desire to just tell her off! Well enough of that. We got up
a little after 5 and Don took Niki at 6. She went again this afternoon at
5 to have a conference with one of the staff. If she had just muscle and
bone she would weight 127# and the rest is fat. So she must weigh a great
deal but she didn't actually tell us that but I think she is going to
work hard to trim down. Time will tell. I walked to Safeway after
breakfast. It was about three different climates in that walk. It was
cloudy, windy, clear, chilly. I got some oranges and came home. Then
before too long I had to change my clothes and go to Stars. I stayed till
the aerobics were over and then at 15 to 12 I left. Had my lunch, changed
clothes again and walked to the library. It was hard going. There was a
gusty wind and my legs were tired but finally I got there but it was
almost 1 so I didn't have time to get any books. I had 70+ cards to type
and I made a lot of mistakes so it was not a good afternoon at the
library. Don and Niki picked me up. Niki was upset but didn't tell us
what it was about. I made sandwiches and opened a can of soup, deviled
eggs and had pickles and that was it. Don and I ate at 5 and then there
was the news. Niki called at about 15 to 7 to be picked up. We do a lot
of taking and coming back with Niki here. If only she would walks
sometimes it would help her and it would be easier for us but walking is
not in her picture. I am sad and upset tonight. I wish I don't have to
call Priss ever again or see her. But I am stuck! Niki is not always easy
either and right now I just want to put my head down and howl. Couldn't
find my black tights, looked everywhere, and come to find out Niki has
been wearing them. Well I guess I won't be wearing them again. In The
Line of Fire with Clint Eastwood - Don watched it all - I some of it very good.
February 17
We woke up at 4:30 because our answering machine started to make noise.
The lights had gone out for a little while and the clocks were blinking.
The wind was very strong and it was raining. But although the wind blew
all day it didn't rain as much as predicted. We decided to get up since
we were awake so I pinned up my hair before going out to make breakfast
and by then Don had pretty well fixed his own. So then I spent the next
hours
31
getting ready for the 10 a.m. brunch. I vacuumed, set the table with dark
brown mats and candles, Quince and white dishes and linen napkins and
sterling. Made a huge fruit compote, heated and frosted the rolls. Sliced
the ham and made the egg puff. Put on my black stretch pants and black
top and felt I looked very nice. The ladies came and I had them drink
orange juice and suggested they put some vodka in, the amount up to them.
It went well and Priss was on her good behavior. When they left I cleaned
up everything and ran the dishwasher. Don took Niki to the club and at
8:30 she called from there saying she had had a fight with Valerie and
wouldn't ride with her so Don took her to school. After school she went
home with Sandy and now at 7:30 she hasn't called to come home. I ran two
loads of clothes, dark and light and tomorrow I have a lot of ironing to
do. The District called wanting me to work at PV today and tomorrow but I
couldn't go today and they must have found someone else. We took a walk
this afternoon but it was cold and windy and so we didn't go far. Tonight
we had leftover brunch food and then watched the local and national news.
I was chilly when we got back from the walk so I took a shower and put on
my green house coat with a wool top underneath. I am tired tonight and
since I didn't get any books at the library yesterday I must round up
something here to read. Well finally about 9:30 Niki arrived saying they
had gone to eat dinner at an Aunt's house. Don was very upset because it
was late. Niki just walked on into her room and didn't say anything and
then she took a shower, said goodnight and went to bed. She is a hard one
to figure out.
February 18
Up at the usual time. It was cold and windy but no rain. Got Niki up at 6
and she was off to the club. I asked her if Don should pick her up and
she said no that Valerie would do it and said no more. After I read the
paper I got dressed and went over to the apartment and ironed eight
shirts, some slacks, etc. Don came home from tennis and I told him I was
going for a walk and he said he would come too. We did the Mall walk and
I went to K- Mart hoping to find a some rag rug but couldn't find one the
right size. Came home and made my lunch and then it was time to go to
Stars. I called Cathy and she said she would be in during the day and did
stop by after 12. When I came back from Stars I had lunch and was reading
when Cathy came. How I love to see her. She responded positive to
Hepatitis C and they sent her specimen in to some very sophisticated
place. If she is still positive she has a 40/60 chance not to get the
disease which affects the liver. She is very philosophic about it. She is
a person of courage and a positive attitude toward life and I love her
dearly. After she left Don went to pick up Niki who said she was going to
be with Sandy this weekend. I made a chocolate pudding. Had already
thawed chili and french bread. Niki then said she would be eating at
Sandy's so Don took her over and we had our little dinner. Then I quick
went for a North Avenue mile walk before the news. Niki called to say
that they were going bowling and then were going to a movie but just now
she called again and said they were staying home. She is good about
calling and sometime I would like her to stay home with us on a weekend
night and we could do
32
something together. We get a nice letter from Jenny today. She is
lonesome at the weekend for Niki but she tries to keep busy and she
thinks that helps. We have both been reading. Talked to Priss tonight and
it went well.
February 19
I just hated today. It rained all day and I didn't get a walk. I didn't
go to the 20th street stores like I wanted to and so on and etc. Well I
will begin with the morning. Niki was at Sandy's so I made Don's
breakfast and read the paper and ate a pit myself. Then I got dressed and
met Mary to go shopping. I didn't get out of the car at the Food Market
because it was raining by then and I didn't need anything. I spent too
much money at Food for Less buying expensive papayas and almost $6 on
Snapple for Niki and $3 on gum and I realized how much money I spent on
things that I didn't use myself at all and that made me mad too. Came
home and Don left so I had to put all the groceries away. I wanted to go
to McFrugals but we had to stand by to wait for Niki to call in [ ? ] she
needed a ride. I was going to walk to get cottage cheese for tomorrow but
it was raining too hard so I sat at home all day. I read but I didn't do
any work. I should change the sheets in the apartment, clean the tub,
etc. But we [ ? ] wait to hear from Maxie because I won't do these things
if they are not coming. So it was a day of utter frustration. I have
never felt so cross or irritable. I wanted to cry. When it was time for
dinner I had a scrambled egg and some yogurt and Don had a bowl of
cereal. He had taken the girls down the mid afternoon and they called
after the news and he got them and Niki came home having stopped to get
something to eat at a fast food place. I talked to Priss for awhile to [
? ] in there. Pauline her opus called Memoir and I don't think it was
very good. She wanted my feelings on the subject so I wrote to her and
told her she uses U. George as the spokesman and I told her she should
use herself. I tried to be tactful but I don't know how she will take it.
It is 8:30 and still raining. It [ ? ] that is good since we need it. So
that was the day. Yuk!
February 20
Our day was better than yesterday - not great but better. We were up at 5
and at church by 8. Mary called and was not going because she overslept.
The service was short and that was fine. We went to Safeway to get
cottage cheese, half and half and a roll for Don. Niki got up fairly
early and didn't go anywhere during the day. She washed clothes, did some
homework and watched some TV. I read the paper and did a few things and
then decided to change the sheets and wash them because I had to get the
apartment ready for Maxie and Jim. Took everything off and then Don
remembered that Sandy was spending the night. I was annoyed so I asked
him to help me put everything back on the bed and I will have to wash
things in the morning. Then I decided to have a good dinner so I fixed
baked potatoes on the half shell, did a lot of carrots, got out a meat
loaf and then Don told me that Niki and Sandy were not going to eat here.
Sooo - well I decided to watch Terms
33
of Endearment and that took my mind off the frustration of sheets and
extra food etc. Maxie called after dinner to say that they were in
Medford and would be here tomorrow. I guess it is a 3-4 hour drive so I
had better be ready early. I took a shower and will wash and set my hair
so I will look decent. After dinner and the news I went back to the
kitchen and made a chocolate mousse and then I made the cranberry jello
salad and thawed chicken breasts which I will fix in the morning. I have
broccoli on hand and I will cook carrots and I have hot rolls so that
should do it. Niki had Don pick up Sandy and he took them to a place
where they could play. Well I guess that is ok but I am a bit dubious.
Well they got home early and are now in the apartment. Jenny called and
we had her hang up and we called her back. She is busy getting ready for
classes and she has to have something done to show for her PhD project
and she is worried about that. Niki spoke to her briefly. Now I have a
drink and I will read for awhile and then it will be time for bed I
guess. Talked to Priss and tonight it was a pleasant conversation. She
was going to the Dobbins to stay with Pat while Walter directed at
Paradise symphony.
February 21
This was a strange. We were so busy to begin with. Don vacuumed the
apartment before he went off to breakfast with Carl and J. Boyle. Then I
cleaned the apartment bedroom and dusted. Then I cleaned Don's bedroom
and then I said I would begin to cook. Just then the phone rang and it
was Maxie and Jim they were in Ashland and the weather was so bad that
the Highway Patrol was saying that it would be better not to try coming
here so they were turning back. They were disappointed but I told them
that they should come this summer and they agreed. So then everything was
ready and no people coming. I went ahead and fixed the chicken breasts.
Don got back and I told him. He took Niki to Sports Club but he forgot
that I wanted to go to Stars and couldn't then because we did not know
when Niki would call. Life has not been kind to me of late. At every turn
I seem to meet with frustration and I have begun to get bitter so I just
stopped everything and instead I read Animal Dreams and somehow that
helped. We had lunch, then we walked to Mervyns to return a ring I had
gotten there yesterday. Niki did not feel well and her ears hurt again so
we found her medicine and she started taking it again. So dinner was
fantastic: the chicken was delicious and we had the leftover potatoes and
carrots from yesterday and the cranberry salad was great and then the
chocolate mousse. What a meal! I fixed Niki's on a tray because she was
watching TV in the apartment and that pleased her. Then there was the
news. I called Priss and heard about her day. I watched part of a movie
with Niki called something like That Girl. Then Don had gotten Dove but
we didn't like it so he went to bed and later Niki went and I just
finished reading my Animal Dreams and since it is 10:45 I had better go
to bed myself. I hope the weather is not so cold and gloomy tomorrow and
I hope the day [ ? ] is just better all the way around.
February 22
Up at a little after 5 on a very chilly morning. I [ ? ] on the car.
Though Niki didn't feel
34
good she asked to be awakened at 6 so I did it and off she went but at
about 9:15 the school nurse called saying that Niki wanted to come home.
Don took her to Dr. Archer and she said her ears were very bad again and
gave her two more Rx's that are stronger than the other ones so she was
here the rest of the day. I went to get her and I left her Australian
credits on Susan Bruce's desk since she was not there. Then I drove Niki
home and walked back to Safeway to get Don a doughnut. Worked in the yard
for about half a hour doing some raking and picking up stuff. I want it
to warm up a bit so I can go buy some plants to put in the bare spots in
the border. I did a load of clothes and I redid my light gray tights and
got them darker. They are still not quite right but better. I will wear
them tomorrow. So I did 2.2 miles in the morning and then Don wanted to
go for a walk in the afternoon and he said our route was about 2 miles so
I got in a good workout today. Went to the Hall of Fame meeting at 4 and
we [ ? ] the 200 tickets which is the maximum setting and so on Thursday
the affair will take place. I fixed leftovers for dinner. Have no idea
what I will fix tomorrow. Niki told us tonight that she wanted to invite
Teresa to come for dinner and spend the night on Thursday. I don't like
this girl. She lives in a group home and she was here once and she didn't
set well with me. Don had already to her that she could have someone for
the night and couldn't remember that he had said that but anyway she
slammed the door to the apartment and he told her to stop that kind of
behavior. Not good. I saw Pat Wismer when I got out of my meeting. She
looked worn somehow. We has a good talk. I realize that I should make an
effort to do something with people like that but I never get around to
it. Dinner was fine and then the news. I talked to Priss and then read
Newsweek. I wrote a letter to Jenny this morning.
February 23
Well today wasn't too bad a day. We got up at 5 to a cold dark morning. I
went in to wake Niki at 6 but she didn't want to get up and she is almost
angry that I woken her even though she has asked me to. This time I did
not insist assuming that she still didn't feel well so I just came back
to reading the paper. She slept in most of the morning. Maybe it was
better that she got the extra sleep but I worry that she will fall back
into the way she was in Australia where she missed so much and most of it
not legitimate. So then I showered and got dressed. Did the ironing and
then went off to Stars. Amy is not as good as Leanne as an instructor but
we have her 2/3 of the time. Today there were ten people there! We are
getting more people in. I stayed the whole time and then came home and I
had my lunch and walked to the library but when I have to walk around
because I can't cut through the creek bed it takes longer so I didn't
have a chance to look for books before I got started. Had 76 cards and
that took until after 3. Don picked me up. I fixed the salad greens, got
out the french bread and made spaghetti. Then the news. Tonya ranked 10th
in the figure skating first part and Nancy was first. This is only 30% or
is it 20% but anyway it doesn't look promising for Tonya. I plan to watch
the skating later this evening. All this took place early today but they
held off showing it till prime time. Crazy! Tomorrow is the big Hall of
Fame dinner and I will be glad when it is over. I
35
worry about myself because now that Don is not trying to quit smoking I
go out now and then and have a few puffs and sometimes half a cigarette.
I should be able to say no but it is such a temptation. I must be
stronger. I have to think about getting a perm too. My hair is getting
too long and rather than have another hair cut and then have the perm I
had better combine the two. I want it to be spring! I am so tired of
being cold.
February 24
Well finally the Hall of Fame dinner is over. The day started in the
usual way although I didn't do as much time on exercises. After Niki left
at 6:15 and Don had gone to play tennis I got out the paste wax and did
the coffee table and the chest in the living room and then I vacuumed the
kitchen. Pinned up my hair, made an appointment to get a perm tomorrow
afternoon at 1 p.m. Don and I went for a long walk and it had started to
warm up by then although it was chilly in the early morning. We had lunch
and then we went over to Lucky because they were having a l0¢ sale. I got
pears, cucumbers, oranges, tomatoes all for 100 each. Good buys. When we
got back I made a batch of brownies and then at 3:30 I went to the
banquet hall and helped put up balloons along with the rest of the
committee. Got back home and Niki and Valerie got here and Don went to
Taco Bell to get food for them and then we got dressed to go. I wore the
black long skirt and the top from the Discovery Shop that matches it. We
watched the news and then left. It was a nice evening. This year Jane
introduced the members and so I was able to stand up along with the rest
of the people all whereas last year Judy Brislain left me out. We sat
with Alice, Priss and Cassie. Later Jane Dolan acknowledged that Alice
and I had been chosen one year as the teachers and that was nice. Came
home and finally had a cup of Suka and Don went off to bed and I am going
to read for awhile.
February 25 - no rain - talked to Linda - she has given up chocolate for
Lent!
We were up at 5 and I woke the girls at 6 and they were off to the Sports
Club. Then before Don went to play tennis we changed the sheets and got
rid of the waves in the waterbed so I had three loads of wash to do:
sheets, whites and lights, and towels. I read for a bit, neated things up
and then decided to hand wax the top of the revolving bookcase and the
coffee table in the apartment. I had to do some sanding and then I used
stain on it but because I couldn't put it out in the summer sun it will
take time to dry. Then it was time to make my lunch and off to Stars I
had a good workout and then rushed home, ate, and walked to the Beauty
College where I got a perm from Heidi. I wanted it short and so she gave
me a tight curl and cut it after and I think there is going to be ok.
This morning I decided to call Priss and invite her to have dinner here
for her birthday on the 1st. Don had said he would take us all to the
Albatross but that would come to about $80 and I just couldn't go along
with that. She said she already had been invited by her women friends for
that day so I told her I would have it another night and promised a lemon
pie. I think that will be better and certainly it will be cheaper. Don
went over to see Larry Johnson our broker and ended up buying some stock
or rather more of the same stock. He was
36
checking out cars at Nissan since they are having a sale tomorrow but
everything was too expensive. Niki wants to go skiing with the Lindemans
on Tuesday. Don thinks she should go even though there is school. I will
have to talk to Vicki. I heard at the Beauty Parlor that Nancy Kerrigan
got a silver medal in figure skating and it was on the news tonight but I
am not sure about 1st and 3rd. Terrible deal in Israel today. A crazed
Saroeli killed over four Palestinians in a Mosque while they were at
prayer and wounded hundreds. It doesn't look good for the peace process.
Don has a bad headache. Niki didn't go anywhere tonight and went to bed
very early. Good dinner: bacon and tomato sandwiches, broccoli au gratin
and cuke, olive and radish salad.
February 26
We slept in a little and it was about 5:30 when we got up and I could
have stayed longer but I know I had to be at Mary's by 7:15 plus. And it
was raining! Here Anthony, our weatherman had said just last night that
there wasn't going to be any rain and there it was. So we went to the
market but the apple man was not there so I didn't get anything. Then on
to Food for Less but again I got only $20 worth today. I thought I would
use some of my backup this week. The Cannery was another disappointment.
All none of the things I wanted. No ice cream or frozen yogurt, no
apricot jam, no veggie powder. Maybe next week. After I got home and put
the groceries away Don and I went to S&S to get date pieces, candied
ginger, and Fuji apples. Don loves them. Then to Safeway for milk,
buttermilk, half & half, cottage cheese and doughnuts. By then it was
after 10. Read for awhile and then had lunch. Decided to make bread and I
put some whole wheat flour in it and it turned out great. We went for a
walk and Pauline called and told Niki she would call back. So when I got
home she did and she was very upset with my criticism, her Memoir about
the Menards coming to Iowa. She was mad and real nasty about it. Well I
didn't think it was very good or well written and I thought I had said it
tactfully but she didn't see it that way. Ok well. For dinner I fixed
scrambled eggs, some leftover spaghetti and a Waldorf salad a very
strange combination. Niki wasn't hungry. I talked to Vicki Lindeman about
Niki going skiing with them on Tuesday. It will cost about $40. I really
don't approve her missing school but Don thinks its ok so I am going
along. Tonight after the news they had still some more Olympics and some
figure skating for fun that was good. Called Priss and invited her to
dinner on Sunday but she couldn't do it. Will have to work it in but
March is going to be a very busy month.
February 27
Another Sunday is over without much happening. I took an Excedrin PM last
night and slept like a baby. So we had to rush a bit to get ready for
church. Father DeLeon had a bad cold so no sermon so a very short mass.
Niki has now taken everything out of her room except the bed, chair, and
chest of drawers. I finally got the table lamp shade up on the closet
shelf and the lamp base in the kitchen closet closet. I remember how
excited I was about fixing up that room. Don and I planned it and I had
saved to buy the lamps, etc. and
37
now everything is gone and we have pictures and clothes everywhere and
bed never made and I wanted to cry. Instead I got mad. I am sick of the
whole deal. Our lives now revolve entirely around Niki and I resent this
terribly. I went outside and fed the roses systemic but ran out and will
have to buy some more tomorrow. Had lunch and read and finally Niki went
off to the Chico Mall with Nicole and Zack. We went for a walk and I put
the chicken in the oven, fixed potatoes and an orange, onion and olive
salad, made gravy, etc. and we had our dinner at about 5:30. Then there
was the news and I put all the food away. Niki called and was at Van
Rossum's and I guess she will call later for a ride home. I was too angry
to write to Jenny because I was afraid I would say something to her and
there was no [ ? ] in that. By the time she got the letter I would be
calmed down. Well it is 9:10 and she just called. So Don has gone off to
get her. Well we are stuck so best that I learn to live with the fact. I
feel sorry for her and I realize at 15 one thinks more of oneself and
nothing of anyone else. But I long for the days when we had a drink
before dinner. When we could go to bed and make love and not have the
concern about going to pick her up. If she were happy and fun to be with
it would be better but she is not happy and we cannot seem to solve that
problem.
February 28
Well this is the last day of February. It has gone fast. I had a very
hard time getting to sleep last night. Went to bed around 10 and it was
almost 12 the last time I looked at the clock. We got up at 5 and Niki
was up at 6 and Don took her to the Sports Club. I drove over at 8:15 and
at 8:30 I watched a class that would be like the one at Stars. The girls
were ready to leave so I didn't stay very long. The place is stunning and
almost overwhelming. I decided that I would wait till the 1st of April
because Don has his physical near the end of the month and since we both
need a Doctor's ok as to our health I have another month to make up my
mind. The girls came here and then Don took them to Ray's place where you
can bowl or play all kinds of games. I went for a walk the mall route and
stopped at Lucky for a few things. Then when I got back I made a chicken
stew from yesterday's roast chicken. Went to Stars and there were 13 in
class today. A big jump in numbers. Came home and ate lunch. Read for
awhile and then Don and I went for a walk. Niki wasn't home for dinner.
She was at Valerie's boyfriend's house and most Mrs. M. picked them up
and they brought Niki home. Since we had already eaten she ate by
herself. I walked the North Avenue mile after dinner and then watched the
news. Niki went over to the apartment to watch TV. We really hardly ever
talk it seems to me. When she is gone Don and I say we should bring up
some subject and discuss it but when she is here she immediately goes
someplace by herself and although I try to make conversation I really
don't get anywhere. Talked to Priss after dinner and she was fair. I feel
better today than yesterday. Tomorrow Niki will be going skiing with the
Lindemans and I am sure she will have a good time. Right now I feel that
she is eating and sleeping here but isn't really a part of the family.
That wasn't true at the beginning but it is now. She has to have someone
to do things with. As Don says she has no resources. She doesn't want to
read or
38
talk to us at all. It is all very strange. Maybe we are just too old for
her. I wonder if she regrets coming?
March 1
Don got up at 4 for some strange reason and so at 4:30 I got up. It is
amazing how much I accomplished before 9 a.m. Niki got off for her ski
trip with the Lindeman's at 7:30.1 showered, shampooed and set my hair. I
ran a load of clothes and did some ironing and I changed the flowers. The
Quince is over by the camellias in the back yard, are now in bloom so I
had plenty to arrange. We watered the lawn today and there is no rain
predicted. I went for a long walk and it was mild. I didn't even wear a
jacket. After Don got back from tennis he ran errands while I walked. Don
and I talked about Niki and we worry because she really doesn't talk to
us at all. She is desperate to be with her friends if she is not in
school. We decided to talk to Linda about it. I tried in the early
afternoon but didn't reach her until after dinner and the three of us had
a long talk. She makes sense. She said she would call her tomorrow night
and ask her to come up to Tahoe sometime in the next month for weekend.
Don would drive her to Grass Valley and Linda would get her there. We
will see what happens. I wrote a letter to Jenny and then after lunch it
was time to go to the Discovery Shop. We made about $98 which was good
because they made only $18 in the morning. I brought home a number of
slacks and I think I will keep two pairs and take two back. I will try
them on again in the morning to make sure. I worked very hard this
afternoon and was weary when I got home. I had a cup of tea and then
heated up last night's stew and fried the mashed potatoes left over into
a kind of pancake and I made a salad. So we did have something to eat
although it wasn't very exciting. Then the news and then I called Priss
and we chatted for half a hour. Niki got home at about 8 and she had a
wonderful time so I guess we did the right thing to let her go. She
thanked us for letting her go and paying the $40 for the skis etc. so
tomorrow I go to the church at 9:30 to get the rummage organized. This is
turning into a busy week.
March 2
This was a busy day. Up at 5. Did my exercise got Niki up at 6 and by
7:30 Don and Niki were gone and I made a potato salad, thawed hamburger
patties and buns, got dressed and walked to the church starting at 9 and
arrived at 9:30. There was very little rummage so I helped and then
visited with June Ady. Got a lot of yarn and a pretty dress that Cathy
might like. Don picked me up at 10:30. I changed my clothes, fixed my
lunch and was off to Stars. It was Luanne day and we really worked.
Dashed home to eat lunch. Pam Bodner, C[hico] J[unior] H[igh], had called
and wanted me to work both next Tuesday and Friday. I have the Discovery
Shop that day but when I called Priss this evening she was willing to
change with me so I will go this Friday instead. I really wanted to ride
to the library but then I decided I must be tough so I walked. Type 73
cards and was ready to go when Don arrived. There was little to do about
dinner since the salad and meat were ready. I cooked broccoli and cheese
sauce, thawed some strawberries for sundaes. I didn't
39
feel well and went to the bathroom twice before dinner and two times
after. I drank a lot of tea but I did eat my dinner. Niki said there was
no trouble about her being absent and she talked more than usual at
dinner. In fact she seemed to be in a good mood. She asked Don to take
her downtown to buy a dress she had been saving for. It is long and she
is thrilled with it. Talked to Cathy. She hurt her wrists and is going to
check with the doctor tomorrow and then she and Rose are going to Tahoe
and will be back on Saturday. Linda called and talked to Niki and asked
her to come up for a weekend. Niki was pleased. I told Linda about the
yarn and she wants it so Cathy will take it up. We watched the news and I
had a long talk with Priss who was in a good mood. Don had a headache and
backache so he went to bed early and now Niki has gone and pretty soon I
should go too. I will go back to the church tomorrow to help. Got a
letter from Jenny. She has found a house that she hopes she can get. She
sounded sad and down but she is trying to pull herself up. It is hard to
be so far away and she feels guilty about Niki etc. Tough all around. Now
I must go to the [ ? ] again. Damn!
March 3
I seem to be able to do a little early in the morning. Today it was to
clean both bathrooms and then I washed three wool sweaters of Don's and I
blocked them and put them to dry. Cathy had said she was seeing Dr.
Bensen at 9:15 but I decided to go to the church anyway. I got there at
9:15 (walking) and no one had brought anything in too early so I called
Don and he came and got me. It was at about 10:30 when Cathy arrived.
Yes, her wrist is broken and yes she was very upset because she is not
sure she can work with a cast on her arm and hand and at the moment they
are real short of money so I can see why she is worried. She and Rose
were going to Tahoe as soon as she got home so I hope they made it ok. So
then Don and I had lunch and I pigged out having an orange but then
getting out the peanut butter and jam and loading crackers with them. I
was ashamed but it tasted so good. I stepped out the door to discover
that Cathy had left three bags of clothes for the rummage so I took
everything to the church. I will go back tomorrow morning and work till
10:30, go to Stars and then go to the Discovery Shop for the evening.
Another busy day and Don isn't doing much of anything at the moment and
he is restless and dissatisfied. I wish he had some objective that would
keep him busy and involved. We went for a walk late in the evening and I
heated a turkey hot dish from the freezer. Made a green salad heated
rolls and made a coconut cake. Niki wore her new dress to school and she
said people said they liked it. Don took her picture. I wasn't much
interested in the news so I read. Niki was talking on the phone a lot and
finally I told her to get off so I could call Priss. Then Niki said she
wanted to call her Mother so I ended my call but later she said she could
not get her. I have no idea what she wanted to tell her. AT & T called to
say our calls overseas will be 50% off at the weekend and 30% otherwise.
March 4
40
I had a very bad night. I kept waking up or I just didn't sleep and
things always look bad in the middle of the night. Finally at about 4 I
decided to get up so I went to the bathroom and set my hair and then
watched. Then Don got up and I went to the kitchen and made breakfast.
Since I was so ahead of schedule I did some ironing, got out the machine
and made two pair of pants narrower through the hips and upper legs and
got them ironed. Changed the flowers etc. By that time Don was home from
tennis so I got dressed and walked to the rummage sale. By this time they
had all kinds of things and so I stayed till 10:30 and Don picked me up.
I changed and went to Stars, did my thing and left before the chair part.
Came home and changed again, ate my lunch and Don took me to the
Discovery Shop. We had a slow afternoon. I brought home a yellow T-neck
which I will try on tomorrow to see if it goes with my yellow slacks. Don
didn't pick up Valerie and Niki till 5 because of Valerie's practice.
They said they were going to Loren's and Don took them there. So I made
sandwiches, potato salad and sliced tomatoes for us and then we watched
the news. I called Priss and invited her to dinner on Sunday and she
invited me to a fashion show at the Country Club on the 18th. It was that
or go to the crab feed and I didn't think it was good last year and Don
doesn't like to go and what about Niki? So hence my decision. So then we
have been reading here and the phone rang and it was PV saying that Niki
had cut two classes today. We are both upset. After all we let her go
skiing on Tuesday and she was gone all day and now she does this. She
will probably have an excuse but I am upset and I feel used. Don called
Jenny this morning about Niki and to call her Monday. She had called
after Niki was in bed and we had to wake her and I guess it wasn't a very
good conversation but Niki told her Mom that she has some mixed up
feelings about Ed Barnett. Jenny is going to call her tomorrow and Niki
will call her. I feel bad about all this. In the night I was feeling
mixed up myself. I didn't say life was all that great and I wondered
about going on year after year without much to show and not being very
happy. Today has not helped.
March 5
This has been a strange and stressful day and somehow I don't feel that I
was able to cope. I kept thinking that I wanted to escape from everyone
and everything. I don't often feel this way so it was very upsetting. It
started out ok. I picked up Mary and went grocery shopping and it went in
its usual way. I listened to her talk and she needs that and I am willing
to listen. Dropped her off and Don and I went over to the Mission place
to look at used cars. I was not in the mood first of all and I am not
sure we should be spending $4 to $5,000 on a second car. I should never
have been without one and I have resented it horribly all these years and
now with all the added expenses right now Don has finally seen the need
for a sound car. It is too little to late as far as I am concerned. So
then he took me to the rummage sale and I may just have been to the last
one. More and more ladies are coming to help and I feel out of place with
them. One lady told another one how nice it was that I came to help when
I wasn't one of their "flock" and wasn't even a Catholic! I was stunned!
So maybe I will just not go next time. I stayed till about 11:30
41
and then had Don pick me up. I ate my lunch and walked back and stayed
till 2:30 and then walked home. The mail came and Niki's progress
reports. Two F's and one teacher said may fail and tardies and cutting
listed. Niki says she is not failing, that the English teacher is a
bitch, etc. etc. then she called her Mom and I don't know what happened
there but she was very upset, cried, laid down and didn't talk to anyone
but then Mike's analysis of her taking his Wellness Test came and it was
interesting and she liked what it said so that helped a little bit. She
did not eat dinner with us (really not much of a dinner, just soup and
French bread, although she had a bowl of cereal later. She is very
unhappy but doesn't want to talk about it and one can't force her to talk
and tomorrow Priss comes for dinner and I worry about that because Priss
really doesn't like Niki and I worry about how that will go. Right now I
would like to be like a ground hog, crawl in a hole and not come out for
six months. But I don't know where to look for a hole.
March 6
After we went to bed last night Don got up to check the door to the study
and found it wasn't locked. Then still later I decided to check on Niki
and found she wasn't in her bed. By this time it was 1:20! We looked
everywhere getting more panicky by the second and then he got in the car
and went looking and found her finally coming down North Avenue. She said
she went for a walk! Well we told her how upset we were etc. and once she
was in bed and did talk to her and she said she had loved Ed so much and
she missed him etc. Well finally everyone went to sleep. This morning we
got up and tried to read the paper although we were not much interested
and then we went to church. Mary called to say Steve was not feeling well
so she wasn't going. We stopped at Safeway and then when I got home I
changed my clothes and went to the K. First I made the filling for the
lemon pie. Then I did the first part of the salmon loaf. Did the
segmenting of the grapefruit for the salad. I got fresh camellias for the
coffee table and the other places in the living room and then I did the
dining table with yellow mats and candles. The jonquils in the center and
I found four very pretty paper napkins in yellow cream and white. I had
put on my yellow slacks and yellow sweatshirt so I fitted right in. We
talked to Linda at length and to Mike for a little while and then I
talked to Cathy. Niki didn't go anywhere during the day. She did clean
her room. She talked on the phone a lot. Don and I took a walk in mid
afternoon. It was very warm with a north breeze. A lovely day really.
Priss came at 5. Niki had just been taken over to Sandy's by Don because
she needed help with her math. Don was going to pick her up right before
dinner but she called to say they wanted her to stay for dinner so we
said ok. We had the salmon loaf, green beans, squash, hot rolls, and a
grapefruit and kiwi salad and the lemon pie for dessert. It went well
enough. She left at 7 and Don went over to pick up Niki. Tomorrow I have
to start finding a therapist to work with Niki since she says she is
willing to talk to someone and I have to write to Jenny about all this.
So now are we going to worry every night wondering if Niki is in her room
or not. I am very tired and very concerned.
42
March 7
It is going on to 9 and I have been dozing in my chair. I can't wait to
go to bed. I really didn't do all that much today. Did all my exercises
this morning. Then got dressed and at 9 we went to have chest x-rays
because we have to have them once a year for Hospice. On the way home Don
dropped me near Lucky so I could order Maryns for hair and nails. Then I
looked at K-Mart - wanted to see what they had in plants. I must fill in
the bare places in the front border. Got dressed for Stars. I did three
loads of wash in the morning and put some winter things away. There were
15 today at growing younger. There were just three or four of us for so
long that it seems strange. When I got home I had lunch and then I folded
clothes and ironed. Cathy stopped by. We had a good visit. She has a
gadget that she puts over her cast and she is learning to write with it
hurting her hand. She will try it out at work next Sunday night. Don
picked up Niki and then got birthday cards for Rose and Marijeanne and we
put $15 in each one. Then we went for a walk. With the leftover salmon
loaf I made sandwich spread and I did salad greens so that was our
dinner. There was still lemon pie for Don and Niki. I called Carrie
Stockwell this morning because Cathy thought she would be good for Niki
as a counselor. I left the number and she called back and Don talked to
her and liked her so we all go next Tuesday afternoon at 3:30 and then
Niki can decide if she likes her. After dinner I walked to the end of
North Avenue and tonight my knees hurt. I hope I am not going to have
trouble with them Don went for his blood tests this morning and didn't
have breakfast before he went at 7 so I washed and set my hair very early
and it turned out looking good. Since about 7 after I talked to Priss I
have been sitting in my chair trying to read but am too sleepy. I think I
will take an Excedrin PM and go to bed.
March 8
This has been a busy day. Up at 5 and Don took Niki to exercise at 6 and
went on to have breakfast with David Nopel. While he was gone I walked to
Safeway and got three different packages of beef on sale: filets, ground
round and ground sirloin. When I got home I made the old famous hot dish
and got three of them out of one package of ground beef. Then I went
outside and started my project which is dismounting the wood shed,
putting the wood around in various areas so I did four wheelbarrows full
by the fence to the back yard by where the lemon tree used to be. Then I
attached the ivy and worked on that for awhile. I figure if I do a little
each day finally it will be finished and hopefully we will not have to
put in a new fence. This is going to be a hard one. Had lunch and then
went out for half an hour and sunbathed. I also wrote a note to Niki
telling her how I felt about our life here together. It will probably
make her mad and she won't talk for days. Later - we ate dinner and Niki
said she wasn't hungry but then the phone rang and it was Mary Yakich and
she was at the hospital and Steve is in Intensive Care because his heart
acted up and they took him to [ ? ] by ambulance. So I called Linda
because Mary could not get in to be with David. Linda says David and Mary
have come on vacation. She was to call Jason because she thought they
might have stopped for. Then she called and talked
43
to the nurse and she decided she would come down tomorrow. So Don and I
went over to the hospital and Mary was there and Don talked to Steve who
was much better and he said we were like his family and when Don told him
Linda was coming down his face lit up and he said how much he loved her "she is my best friend" he said. So we took Mary home and Don went off to
a Hospice meeting. I forgot to say that I bought two Sudian Hawthorne
bushes that I will put in tomorrow and [ ? ] Systemic for the roses. I
also bought that stuff to help hair and nails. It cost $18.50 for 250 at
Longs but it cost $13.50 for 100 at Lucky so I went ahead. So I have
talked to Cathy, Linda many times about Steve.
March 9
Well Linda came down today. She got here a about 11 a.m. I had called
Stars to say that I would not be there today or Friday since I will be
working at Chico Junior. So once Niki was gone and Don to tennis I went
out and worked in the South yard. I got a lot more ivy done. It is very
hard work but I made some headway. Then Don got home and he watered the
borders and the lawn. I will try to remember to take Camellias tomorrow.
They are just lovely at the moment. It was a little bit cooler today. It
was good to see Linda and she looks great. Her hair is short and curly. I
went off to the library at about 12 so I got there and actually put in
two hours today. There were about 70 cards and a lot of them were very
hard to decipher so it was a tedious task. Don and Niki picked me up.
Linda took Mary to the hospital twice and stayed with her at the house.
She is not eating or drinking anything and she almost fainted. Problems,
problems. Linda tried all day to reach David who is on vacation. Finally
got Jason but he didn't know where they were. She will keep trying. I
fixed chicken thighs a new way that I won't try again. Ok but just ok.
Fixed rice, green beans, a big fruit salad and no dessert. Niki says she
has lost 5 pounds. That is good. After dinner we went to Longs to get
Excedrin PM and other things of that type. I didn't even listen to the
news tonight. It is all about White Water and it is all bad. I just
refuse to listen to Bob Dole of gloom and doom one more night. I tried to
tell Linda how it is with Niki here. Don wants to play everything down
but I don't feel that way. I sometimes think we are back when Linda was
having problems. He was almost too easy and I was to strict and we just
never seemed to be in agreement and that is sort of the way it is now. In
July I think we should re-evaluate all this when Jenny comes.
March 10
We started the day early! And I mean very early. Don finally got up
before 4 and I got up at 4:30 but we had both been awake before that.
Well I got through the day ok so I guess it didn't hurt me. Linda also
got up early and left before 6:30. I wore my black long skirt and the
matching top but my feet hurt in the black shoes so tomorrow I will wear
different things. Don took Niki to school. She didn't go to Chico Sports
this morning. I think she had a fight with Valerie and then he took me to
Chico Junior. Everyone seemed very glad to see me. None of the counselors
were there except Nancy Evans. It was a busy and
44
hectic day. Two girls got in a fight who had had one yesterday after
school and both were suspended. Then there were other problems and so the
time really didn't drag all that much. I called Don at noon and Linda had
finally gotten in touch with David and he also left immediately for Chico
so Don picked me up at 3:05. Niki was in a sullen mood. Don suggested
that we eat out but she just didn't say anything and fell asleep along
her bed so I went ahead and made waffles as planned. Finally Loren called
and she talked to him and then she came to eat after we were finished. It
is hard to cope with her bad moods. I realize this is not unusual for
kids this age but she makes no effort to [ ? ] about it and I feel very
frustrated. It is too bad that Linda isn't living in Chico because Niki
talks to and listens to Linda and it would be a big help to us but that
is not to be. So then I talked to Priss for a short time. Now I realize
that they do there just when the kids are growing and so I feel
uncomfortable listening to Priss even more than before. I will have to
work something out. So I go back tomorrow and then the following Friday.
This time for the first time I wasn't really sure I wanted to go. But
once I got into it it was ok. Our income tax form from John Powell came
back and we are going to get $9,000 back! Isn't that great! Don took
Daisy to the Vet because she is limping from one front paw. He gave her
some anti inflammatory pills and we will see on Monday. I am going to
read for awhile. Linda called when I got home. There was snow in the
mountains but she had made it ok.
March 11
Had a restless night. I woke up in the middle and then can't get back to
sleep. Very frustrating. Niki off to her exercise at 6:15 and I got
dressed to go to C.J. I wore navy slacks and top and my brown vest and
shoes but I should have worn something warmer because I was cold all day.
Anyway Niki called after 7:30 saying she needed a ride to school so we
picked her up and then Don dropped me off finally. It was a dull useless
day. I didn't accomplish anything. I saw one student and the rest of the
time I read or talked to people. So the time dragged. I wrote to my
sister. I didn't mention her history of the French Canadian coming to
Iowa after the dressing down she gave me over the phone some time ago. I
am never going to mention that again. Don picked me up after school with
Niki and Loren in the car. We took them downtown and Don told Niki not to
eat anything because we were going out to dinner. That was fine with me.
When we got home I read Jenny's letter and then put on warmer clothes.
Niki called at 5 and Don took Loren home and then they came. Niki went
right in to phone someone and when we asked if she were ready she said
she wasn't hungry because she had eaten. I was furious but decided to
just make something here so I heated leftovers. She came in the kitchen
and said she was ready to go and I told her we were not going. Thank
goodness I didn't lose my temper. So we watched the news and read
throughout the evening. Daisy is limping worse so Don takes her in on
Monday to be x-rayed. I talked to Priss for over half an hour. I grow
weary of her talk of people I don't know and she always says "you know so
& so don't you?" and I have to say no I don't. This was all about the
Country Club with much repetition. Mary called and Steve is getting
better if more difficult. David is still
45
here so she is not going shopping tomorrow. Niki has arrived to take
Sandy to the Sport Club at 7 and Don has asked to go with me. Well that
is ok. Then I plan to work in the yard for more of the day. It is nice to
see the people at C. Junior but if I can't keep busy I really don't much
like it. Still it is nice to have the money.
March 12
Saturday morning. We got Niki up at 7 and then drove her over to pick up
Sandy since they were going to the Sports Club. Then from is Don wanted
to go with me to get groceries. It never works out but he did try but I
just couldn't make up my mind about anything so I bought very little in
Food for Less and the Cannery had nothing of interest. On the way back we
stopped at Holiday and I did get a good looking roast beef so we are
going to have a good dinner tomorrow. Then we picked up the girls and
took them back to Sandy's, changed our clothes and worked for an hour
outside. Don tore down ivy and I hauled wood. It is very hard work. We
came in and had lunch and then I showered and shampooed and set my hair
and read till it was dry. We were due at Jackie's at 4:30. Nadia is in
town with Dana and it was good to see her. Dale Stainer came later but
Karen and the children didn't come. We talked about the Aimes Scandal and
about the Geshester-Conlin affair and that was all. We left at 20 to 6.
Niki called to say that Sandy's parents were not there and so she didn't
know whether she was going to stay or not. I made a rather strange
dinner: bacon, hash browns and toast and I fried Don an egg. It all
tasted good - Loren - Valerie's boyfriend called many times for Niki and
finally I told her he had called and so she called him and he was very
upset about Valerie and wanted her to come over so he could talk about
it. She asked Don to take her over there for a couple of hours. Don said
no and she hung up on him. So he called Loren and explained why she
shouldn't go over and Loren called Niki and told her and she called Don
and told him off. The whole thing was ridiculous so Don called Loren back
and tried to explain. No word from Niki and then she called to say that
she going over to Ray's and she was going to spend the night. But she
will call when they get back from Ray's. Wrote and told her if she didn't
stay at the house she would never come back. She is unhappy about Barry
and we gave her a pep talk etc. and she said Linda had told her we were
stressed out. So then Linda called to tell us that Jenny was upset and
was even talking about coming back here. I just wish Alexander Graham
Bell had not invented the telephone. *
March 13
Up at 5:30 and fixed Don's breakfast, did my exercises and started in on
the two Sunday papers. Picked up Mary and went to church. The priest gave
a good sermon today about the 13 [ ? ]. I came home and read both
versions in the two Bibles. I changed my clothes and went for a walk. I
did a study of the price of vitamins: Lucky, K-Mart & Longs. Each one has
a different price so that makes things more complicated but as Don says
I'm retired so I have plenty of time. Got home and Don had already worked
hard on the ivy
46
and the fence so I changed my clothes again and hauled wood. I think I
have put wood in this place as much as I am going to. Now we have to find
someone who will take the rest. Made lunch and then I went back out and
cleaned up the camellias, etc. Niki called to have Don pick her up at
Sandy's. When she got here she was in a terrible mood. She said only that
Valerie and Loren would never talk to her again. So we are back to
tragedy again. I decided to leave. I went in and did all the ironing.
Then I made an apple pizza, a kind of tart. I fixed the roast, carrots
and potatoes. Did the salad greens. I thought maybe she wouldn't eat
dinner but she cleaned her plate so I felt a little better. So I went for
a walk after dinner and when I came back she was talking on the phone.
Hard to keep up with her moods. I called Priss. The phone is [ ? ] a
problem and will probably continue to be. Well Niki and Don are in bed
and I have been watching a TV program with Anthony Twain and Katherine
Hepburn. *We had a drink and then went to bed and made love and it was
great. Well Niki tells me that she is not going to the Sports Club
tomorrow and will go on Tuesday. What does this mean? I give up. Well
Valerie will be there and I suppose she can't go because of that.
March 14
Well there has been progress on the South yard fence, wood, wood shed
front. Bill Roberts finally came today to mow the lawn and he said he
would take all the wood and then he would haul all the junk away for
free. But it will take time to do. This and I want to start tomorrow or
yesterday. Naturally, our other than that. I stayed up till 11:30 last
night to read My Antonia after I watched Katherine Hepburn & Anthony
Twain movie that lasted two hours. So today I have been pretty weary.
Niki didn't go to the Sports Club this morning so Don just took her to
school before he played tennis. I changed the sheets on the bed and did
two loads of wash and then I cleaned our bedroom and I realize how much I
have neglected really cleaning of late. This is a big house and I don't
do enough I guess. Well anyway I did my walk around the Mall and I went
to Stars and that was nice because I had not gone last Wednesday or
Friday. Came home and had lunch and I worked outside. Daisy went to the
Vet at 8:30 and they x-rayed and found nothing wrong and they cleaned her
teeth since she was under an anesthetic. She is ok but she does have
trouble in her mouth and we are supposed to brush her teeth. Niki came
home from school and found my journal for December 16, 1978 and she
wanted me to read about her birth. Well I translated all about Jenny
going to the hospital, etc. and she loved it. I had forgotten some
things. I didn't remember that when F.O'Hare asking if there were any
announcements I said we had a new grand child. She liked that especially.
Then Loren appeared and they talked and then she walked with him back to
PV and back so she got some exercise out of it. Did I mention that the
Vet charged $265 for the x-rays and teeth cleaning and when I think what
we could do with that amount of money I have to spit!
47
Called Priss and she had had good cards today and they came - 3rd or
something so she was happy. We didn't talk long. So tomorrow I must pin
up my hair and get ready to go to Hospice at noon and then at 3:30 we go
to see the counselor to help Niki. I wonder how that will go? I put my
callalily outside but I don't know if it will make it since it was
terribly root bound. It cost $4 so I hope at does well.
March 15
Tuesday is always a good day for me because I got a lot done. Don went
off to breakfast with Carl and Lois Christensen. I did three loads of
laundry, even washed one of the blankets from Germany we have had for
years and it turned out fine. I cleaned Niki's room and went to Mervyns
and bought her a new bottom sheet and remade her bed. It looked so nice
to have things all neat and in place. I know it won't last but it was
nice to see it looking good for a little while. Her counselor called
saying that Niki wants to drop Sud. Living and go back to record keeping.
I said ok but she has to get an ok from the teachers involved. I
showered, shampooed and set my hair and then I ground up the rest of the
beef roast and froze half and made the rest into sandwich spread. I
boiled three eggs and made egg salad for sandwiches. Then I made the
ginger snap recipe and put the batch in the fridge to chill. By then it
was time to go to the Hospice lunch. We took our bottle of wine because
it is Colleen's birthday. The lunch was ok and we set with Peggy Seever
and Marilyn [?Tngie?] but then they had a strange deal that they put
black crepe streamers and we all ended up in heaven where we couldn't
talk and we were supposed to think about death and it didn't quite come
off or at least not for Don and me. Yuk. Then they had to wait till 2 to
get our last Hepatitis B shot and then we came home. Don is so wired that
I got nervous driving with him. He is so nervy and impatient. I baked the
cookies and they turned out fine. Then it was time to take Niki to Carrie
Smith and just then the phone rang and it was Mary wanting a ride home
from the hospital so we three dashed there and she waited while we went
in to meet Carrie and it was brief so we left Niki and took Mary home and
then Don went to get Niki and to take her to Enloe where Sandy is. She
may have to have a gall bladder operation. So then we ate dinner and
watched the news and then Don picked up Niki and she ate her dinner. By
then it was time to call Priss who just talks about who is ill and that
drives me crazy. [ ? ] Niki is still trying to work out something with
Valerie, Loren, et al. She doesn't do any home work. She just talks on
the phone. Where will this all end?
March 16
Slept quite well and woke up to a chilly, drizzly morning although it
didn't rain later on after all and we watered the lawn. Niki went off to
exercise and I cleaned all three bathrooms, baked potatoes and put them
in their jackets, got out canned peas and fixed my lunch before going to
Stars. Worked out well and came home. Ate my lunch and started walking to
the library. Halfway there Barbara Seawall picked me up and this time I
said yes. It was very chilly and windy and I was out of breath. There
were 80 cards to
48
type and I made a lot of mistakes today so it slowed me down and when Don
came I was still not done and had to leave some for the next person to
type. Niki was not talking so we rode home in silence. She called Tahoe
and Sandy wanted her to come so Don drove her to the hospital and he had
to take Mary home from [ ? ]. Well the shock is the day was the letter
from Pauline. She has Parkinson's disease. She had fallen, her hands
shake, she has trouble walking and getting out of a chair and so finally
she went to the doctor and he told her. They are still going to Mexico
but when she gets back she is going to a neurologist. I called Cathy and
she said there is medication that will help plus physical things as well.
I am very sad about this. I called Linda and she will talk to Carla
tomorrow and get as much information as she can about it. I had a good
dinner. We seem to eat alone a lot because Niki is never here. She came
at 7:30. Ed Mizel called and Don had a good talk with him. Carrie Smith
called and she cannot take Niki except at last period of the day during
school time. I talked with Niki and she said she would talk to Mr.
Barrett about this. I offered but she said she would do it. She does have
a appointment on the 28th so it will be after spring vacation. Its $65
each time so this is going to be an expensive deal. I hope their
insurance will pay part of it. I called Priss this morning and explained
that it was hard to talk in the evening so we are going to try mornings.
Linda may come down this weekend so I am hoping she can. Saturday noon I
have to go to a fashion show at the Country Club with Priss. I wish I did
not have to go. Friday I work at Chico Junior.
March 17
Up at 5 and Don was off with Niki at a little after 6. I put a load of
clothes in the washer then I washed and set my hair. Don was off at
tennis with Carl. I put Vigoro pellets in most of my plants and watered
them. Then I walked to Safeway and got cottage cheese. When I got home
Don was back getting ready to go to Dale's for brunch. I had my lunch and
then I ironed. There were a lot of shirts so it took quite awhile. I
called Priss in the morning at our new time since it is so difficult in
the evening what with all of Niki's calls. Don came back early with a
blinding headache so he took a pill and went to lie down. I called
Pauline and we had a long talk about her Parkinson's disease and their
trip to Mexico. They will be leaving tomorrow and will be back on the 2nd
of April. Then I wrote to Jenny and got that done. Don said it was a good
letter. I wish we had copies of our letter. Then I drove to S&S for
oranges, banana, apples and date bits. When I got home Linda had called
saying that she would be here tomorrow night and that will be good. I
didn't have to cook so I made do with leftovers. Niki called from school
last period because her period had started and she felt terrible. So Don
went to get her. She immediately fell asleep on the lounge in the
apartment. It seems Sandy has a bacterial infection of the colon and she
was still in the hospital. I went for a walk after dinner and it was
pleasant out and now there is good light after dinner. Don still feels
lousy so he went to bed. I took a shower and then I skimmed a Robert
Parker book, Pale Kings and Princes. His books are just about all
conversation. I still have to empty the dishwasher
49
and make my lunch for tomorrow since I work at Chico Junior so [ ? ]
today is over. March 18 Up at 5 knowing that I was going to Chico
Junior. Niki decided not to go to Sports Club so I didn't wake her at 6
but at 6:45. Later I realized she was more upset than physically ill but
we didn't say anything. Don took me at 7:30 after he dropped Niki off and
thank goodness I was there early because I remembered that I had yard
duty so I stood at the bank corner from 7:35 -8:10. What a day. I saw one
person in the morning and one in the afternoon! 25 teachers and others
had gone to a meeting in San Francisco so it was a most unusual day. I
heard a lot of gossip from Pat & Jan and that was real fun. Finally I
went to the library and got Time in the morning and McCall's in the
afternoon. I read both of them cover to cover and I remembered a lot and
the time passed slowly but it did pass and after all I got $60+ for the
day and that was welcome. Don picked me up and when I got home Niki was
talking to Linda. I asked if I could talk for just a minute and she said
she was done so then I wanted to know if Linda had seen the doctor
because she was worried about her mammogram. She had pain under her left
breast and she thought a lump but everything was fine. She said Craig
told here she had felt of it so much she had rubbed it away. What a
relief. Jenny called to say that she has bought a house: two bedrooms,
two baths, it is behind a house in a setup like the Mizels. It is small
but she seemed pleased with it. We are not too tell Niki yet. She will
write to her about it when she has decided how to tell her. Niki didn't
want her to move from the neighborhood. Well Niki says mornings is better
with Valerie and she was feeling very sad when I got home. I asked about
Sandy and so she called the hospital and went to see her and didn't get
back till 8. She said she wasn't hungry when she got home so she must
have eaten at the hospital. I made a tuna salad, fried corn and bread. I
had ginger snaps for dessert but I want some chocolate desperately. Linda
is due "sometime between 7 - 10" she said. I am writing this at 8:20 and
she is not here yet. I called Mary and Mela is here and Steve is much
better and she will not be going with me tomorrow for shopping.
March 19
We got up at 5 and I got a walk in before going grocery shopping. The sky
was very dark and ugly and I though it would rain but instead it cleared
up. Don went off to tennis and I went to the Market to get apples,
lettuce and broccoli. Then to Food for Less where I spent more that usual
and to the Cannery where I did the same thing. When I stopped on the way
home I found a bench to lie on when lifting weights and I paid $2 for it.
Then Linda and Niki were going to Mervyns to shop so I gave them $50 and
I got ready to go to the Country Club as Priss's guest along with Alice
and Lyn Burch. Alice picked me up and she drove thank goodness. I finally
got to wear my cream colored skirt and sweater and a scarf that Linda had
given me that Becky had brought back from China and hose and shoes to
match. I felt that I looked right. It started at 11 with drinks (I had
pineapple juice) and then a chicken salad and rolls and lemon sherbet. It
was all very good. The
50
fashion show was good but it was so long! We left at 2:30 and when I got
home I changed my clothes and made a potato salad, thawed chili, got out
hot dogs and buns. Niki had bought Mary Janes and a bra and panties. The
money was gone. Oh well. Craig didn't get here till about 8 p.m. He was
trying out the race track in Willows. Niki went to spent the night with
Sandy who is home from the hospital and Linda and Craig went over to the
apartment and I thought we would have the night to ourselves but then Don
has a bad headache again so I sit alone in the living room writing this.
Damn! Well I walked in the morning before going shopping, walked in the
afternoon with Linda and again after dinner with Don so I got at least 3
½ miles in today. Mike called after 8 tonight to say that Emma was in the
hospital dehydrated from the flu but she was going to be ok. Finally they
are going to switch doctors from the old one they had who sounds as if he
doesn't know much and doesn't talk much. Cathy stopped by this afternoon
and was talking to Linda when I got back from the Country Club. She left
some clothes so I washed them and will take them to the Discovery Shop.
March 20
Sunday - We were up at 5 on a clear but fairly chilly morning. Did all my
exercises and then looked at the papers. I really didn't read much but I
clipped coupons. I seem to be withdrawing from the troubles of the world.
I don't watch the news much any more and I don't read the papers much
either. We went to church and Father gave a really good sermon. It was
about the fact we have laws because we can't seem to do the right thing
because our hearts tell us to. He quoted the black woman from Texas Jordan and the fact that she didn't feel like a citizen because she was
black and a woman etc. Afterwards we went to Safeway and bought
doughnuts. Linda was up when we got home so we all sat down and had our
treat. Then Don and I went to the back yard and cut up the branches Don
had cut from the guava tree. I went to K-Mart and bought six packs of two
marigolds, one small daisies, two moss rose and one dusty miller plus two
one gallon can of green and white shrub. When I got home Don went to pick
up Niki. She brought Sandy back with her because her parents were not
home. She is feeling better. They watched a special wrestling deal that
Don had to call Cable to be able to watch. I made an apple pie with four
kinds of apples. I took a hot dish from the freezer, made a big green
salad and I had bought a loaf of french bread at Lucky. I took some apple
sauce to Priss, saw her beautiful clothes she has bought for her trip to
France in May. She gave me a white jacket that she no longer wears. It is
very nice but I am not sure how much I will wear it. Linda went out to
see Cathy and the girls. A friend of Craig's - Larry - left his truck
here while he went with Craig to Willows so Linda drove his truck out to
Dunham. I planted all of my pony packs but two and I will do them
tomorrow. Craig came back after we ate and he is taking a nap and they
will leave later. So Linda is also taking a lie in down. Don has a
headache again tonight so he is going to call Dr. Foltz tomorrow and he
will try to get in before the time he has been given. It is always so
nice to have Linda here. I always hate to see her go and Niki misses her
so much.
51
March 21
I woke up at 5 and felt great so after my exercises Suka and the paper I
set to work. I did two loads of wash, dried them and put everything
except for the ironing. I vacuumed the apartment, the TV room and the
kitchen and living room. I changed the flowers, I washed the kitchen
floor. Then I showered, shampooed and set my hair. Don called and asked
for an earlier appointment at Dr. Foltz and they had a cancellation and
so I drove him there at 10:15 and then he walked home. I went to Stars
and had a great workout. Came home and ate my lunch and then I ironed for
over an hour but there was a lot to iron. Put everything away and dinner
was a snap because there was leftover hot dish to be heated and I put the
apple pie back in because some of the apples had taken longer to cook and
it was better the second time. The three salads left over from last night
were still in the bowls to have (Niki, Craig and Larry's) so I heated the
bread and that was that. That was certainly easy. Niki had detention
after school for too many tardies but she didn't seem to mind when she
did get home. I got dressed to go to Enloe Conference Center which Hall
of Fame for the [ ?]. The Academy Awards was on so at least I got to see
the beginning and Whoopee Goldberg was ok as the MC. Then I drove to the
meeting. John Copeland and Bob Ross were already there and we worked
through the applications and came up with the names. I got home at 8:30
and was able to see the end of the Awards - Schindler's List won best
picture and Speilberg got it for director, and Holly Hunter was best
actress and Tom Hanks was the best actor. All very moving. I called Priss
and chatted with her this morning. And Alice called and I am going for
coffee at 8 tomorrow morning. I look forward to that. I took two herb
pills last night they are supposed to help you sleep and I did very well
last night. I will try them tonight and see what happens. It was cold and
windy and tonight they are talking of snow as low as 1,000 feet! I hope
not. Alice says Packy is in the hospital for transfusions. She is very
anemic.
March 22
Got up at 5 and fixed Don's breakfast but before I knew it it was 6 and I
woke Niki and then I just skipped exercise! That very seldom happens. So
then it was time to get ready to go to Alice's, it was chilly so I wore
my hooded jacket from LA Gear. Alice had a fruit cup and hot muffins and
I had brought my own Suka. We had a wonderful visit. I told her I always
felt so comfortable with her that is true. When I got home I set out the
rest of my bedding plants in the wooden planters on the North patio. Then
I called Priss and heard about the Academy Awards. Then we had lunch and
Don took his nap and I read in the living room. Something I seldom do
during the day but I felt lazy. Colleen called and wanted me to take a 98
year old woman patient with heart trouble. I am not sure I want to do
this. I go tomorrow at 9 and then I will decide. I made a fruit salad,
got the broccoli ready, put the ham in the oven to heat, made the cheese
sauce and got all the things ready for muffins. Niki went to Sandy's
after school to help with her math and Don picked her up at 5. She ate
and then Don took her to the Van Rossum's so she could use the computer
for her English paper. Cost about $1,500 and here I am worrying about
52
spending money on a weed killer to get rid of the violets that are
ruining our front lawn. I will just have to be more assertive about
spending money. Tonight Don finally lit the fire in the fire place. The
logs have been laid for weeks but he has always had a reason not to light
it. It is getting cold outside. In fact it snowed a little at Paradise
and Forest Ranch today. Here we had such beautiful weather and now it has
gotten cold and nasty. It is supposed to rain tomorrow and Thursday. We
shall see. Tomorrow I go to Stars, the library and Dr. Bostwick. I don't
want to do any of those things.
March 23
We got up at 5 and I did all my exercises before having my hot Suka and a
muffin. Got Nick up at 6 or thought I did but then she decided she didn't
want to go this morning. So got her up at 6:45 and then she and Don left
at 7:30. At a little after 8 I called Hospice because I decided I didn't
want to work with a 98 year old woman with of serious heart problem. But
Colleen was already in a meeting. I left my name and went into the
kitchen and cleaned the stove and the sink and then started in on
something for dinner. Made creamed potatoes and a veggie salad. But all
this time I was brooding about money and thinking about spending $1,500+
on still another computer having bought one for Jenny earlier. Then there
was money for Jason to go to New York over Easter and he wants to go to
Europe this summer and Don will pay out again and I when spending my life
trying to save nickels and dimes and I feel like a fool. So suddenly I
blew up to Don. He always says he will do anything I want to do. Well
that is stupid. As I [ ? ] out how could we do anything with Niki and a
dog that we can't leave. I was shaking and tearful and miserable, Well
thank goodness I had to go to Stars and it was a good workout and that
helped. But then Luanne said this was her last day and so I got another
kick in the stomach. Amy has mono and who knows what the next instructor
will be like. I rushed home and changed my clothes and ate my lunch and
then off again to the library. It takes more than half an hour the long
way but today thank goodness there were only about 55 cards so I got done
and even had most of them filed by the time Don arrived. We went from
there to Dr. Bostwick and he said my breasts looked fine and I am to have
a mammogram of the left breast and then I will see him again. Came home
and made ham sandwiches and we had the potatoes and salad and I made a
chocolate pudding but since I didn't eat any of that I made a new recipe
of oatmeal cookies. Then the news and then called Priss so now at 20 to 8
I am going to read.
March 24
After a restless night with lots of strange dreams we got up at 5:30 and
yes, Niki did get up and go to her exercise and then on to school. I
pinned up my hair when Don went off to tennis and then I started bread so
when he came back I could go to S&S for oranges, ginger, artichokes and
then to K-Mart for weed feed to try to kill off the violets that are
taking over our yard and snail bait. So when I got home Cathy came to
visit. But while I was gone Linda had called to say that Niki would go
back to Australia because she was
53
putting us under so much stress. Don told me this when I got home and
then Cathy came with all guns blazing saying that after 70 stress was a
killer and Jenny should take her daughter back and that we really were
not helping Niki, that she was a guest here who did what she wanted and
we didn't have any rules that we stuck to, etc. etc. Well in part she was
right. We have not stuck by the rules and I was glad she [ ? ] that out.
So Don called Carrie and she is going to try to fit us in and we will
talk to her and get ideas on how to make things better. So then I went to
the Discovery Shop for the afternoon. We made over $125 and the afternoon
went fairly fast. I made chef salads for dinner and they were good. At
dinner we did talk more than we have been and I told her she would have
to decide about what she was going to take next year. She doesn't want to
take a foreign language but she wants to be a psychologist. It is true
she will have a heavy load and what with five solids. I will go to talk
to the counselor when the vacation is over and Niki will have to talk to
her too. We called Mike and since it was Thursday he was home with Emma
and today for the first time she was feeling better. She was jabbering
away and she had eaten something and it had stayed down. That was a good
sign. She has lost alot of weight and she is still not completely well.
He had not been feeling so great himself and he had just gotten back from
Dallas but because he didn't feel well he felt he had not done as well as
he would have liked. Well it has been a hectic day. Our daughters and son
who wanted us to take Niki are now saying we should send her back. But I
do appreciate their concern. That part was sweet. Life is very
complicated indeed.
March 25
We had a restless night. Don didn't feel well and got up and went to the
TV room for awhile. I was glad when it was time to get up but I yawned
most of the afternoon. I walked this morning, did the Mall walk and
picked up some bananas for Don. They were expensive again. Came home and
puttered around and then it was time to go to Stars. Luanne is no longer
there so we had a new girl and I was not impressed. I think it is going
to be hard for me to go unless she improves. So then I got home and ate
my lunch and then I did the ironing. I had bought a cardboard put
together box at K-Mart yesterday to put some of the clothes Niki is not
wearing right now. Don and I had a difficult time getting it put together
but finally made it. So then I put some of her clothes in it. Niki came
home and wasn't going to be able to be with Sandy so finally she called
Sarah and so tonight they are at Ray's place and then will come back here
for the night. Yesterday Cathy had said that Marijeanne was trying out
for cheerleader and she was worried how she would react if she didn't
make it and she didn't feel that she would make it. Well Marijeanne
called tonight to tell me that she had made it and was very pleased. So
much for Cathy's prediction. I made a cheesecake this morning and we had
it for dessert tonight. I used low fat soft cheese and it wasn't as firm
as it should be but it tasted good. We had scrambled eggs, kippers, baked
sliced tomatoes, toast and peas. I am going to have to watch my weight
because I have inched up a few pounds. Not good. We both talked to Carrie
Smith this morning about Niki and she gave some options and said we
54
would all three come for a session after Niki has had a few on her own. I
read Newsweek about the antibiotics and its scary because everyone is
getting immune to then and they are not effective any more. What next?
March 26
Well the day started out ok. I went to the Food Market to get Fuji apples
and some leaf lettuce and then on to Food for Less and the Cannery where
I pretty much bought the usual. Went to Home Base and got a plastic
runner to replace the bath towel I have been using at the door in the TV
room and I got a 4-pack of dusty miller. When I got home I changed my
clothes and Don and I attacked the wood shed on the South side of the
house. He knocked off the boards and I took out the nails. It was a
tedious dirty job but by 11 a.m we had it done and tomorrow I have a few
more boards to take the nails out. We went in to lunch. Don had a cut on
the top of his head from a falling board and he [ ? ] and took a shower
and shampoo. It was not a deep cut fortunately. A girl called Sarah
stayed the night with Niki after being with her last evening and they got
up just as I was leaving to walk to the Beauty College to get my hair cut
by Heidi. I was tired and the walk seemed long but she gave me a good
hair cut and the walk home didn't seem so long. The girls had left to go
to the Mall and we sat down and read. Then Jenny called and she was very
upset after hearing from both Cathy and Linda. We finally got her calmed
down and then Don admitted that he was to blame for all this. He had
called Linda reminding her that she and Cathy had offered after the 50th
wedding fiasco to take care of Daisy so we could go off for a few days.
She had forgotten about it and claimed that she had not ever offered. So
the result of this was that they decided I was under such stress because
Niki was here. I was furious. What right did he have to talk to her about
this and then she had made arrangements to come down to stay and I told
him he could just call her up and cancel the whole damned thing. Ok I
know he meant well but he is always making all these plans without
including me and I hate it! But we do agree that Niki is not doing well.
She acts like a guest at a hotel. I am the cook and Don is the chauffeur
and we pay her instead of her paying us for services. We have to do
something about this. Jenny thinks Niki should spend the summer there.
Well it will be interesting to see how all this turns out. Niki claims
she will not go back if her Mother moves and she is going to move in May.
I feel our family is shattering. Right now I am sick of all of them.
March 27
I woke at 4 but Don was sleeping so soundly that I lay quiet till 5:30
and then I got up. We read the papers and then got dressed for church.
Don was very distant but I expected that. We follow a pattern and it will
be better tomorrow. It was Palm Sunday and we listened to and took part
in the passion reading. It is always moving. The altar was dramatic with
the statue covered in purple and then a huge palm [ ? ] covering it as
well. When we got home I changed my clothes and went back to pull nails
out of boards. When that was done I moved the garbage can filled with
sticks for fires. We got the lawn
55
furniture out of the shed, and we did everything that we can do until
Bill takes away the wood. I called Cathy to tell her that there is
fencing if Dave wants it. Then I set out the dusty miller plants and then
I had lunch. Niki had Don take her to the Sport Club and when I dropped
her off afterwards he went to Convenient Care because his neck is
bothering him again and he got some pills for it. I did a nice dinner:
chicken breasts, rice, artichokes, a green salad and strawberry short
cake. I took Niki to Sandy's but she didn't know how long she would be
gone. I called at 10 to 5 to tell her Father that I was going to pick up
Niki for dinner and I suggested that Sandy come for dinner. Well Niki
called to say that they had gone on a picnic and were not hungry but
would come later so I went to get them after we had eaten. Niki called
Linda and then Don got on the phone too [ ? ] where they were to meet in
Grass Valley on Tuesday. So Tuesday noon till sat morning we will be by
ourselves. I just hope that goes well. But who knows. I don't expect much
in the way of anything good these days. I called Priss after the news and
she talked for 45 minutes and it was all dull. It would be so nice if I
didn't have to call her every day but I realize I can't do away with
that. So now it is 8:30 and I will read for awhile and then go to bed. It
was a beautiful day, warm and sunny. I wore the red light weight suit
that I bought at the Discovery Shop some time ago but the jacket is too
big. The pants fit fine.
March 28
By early with the usual routine. I didn't get around to writing in this
at the end of the day and now it is Tuesday so strange as it may seem I
have trouble remembering what happened in the last part of the day. Niki
went to the counselor at 10:30 and I really wanted to go to Stars so Don
took me at 11 and picked me up at 12. It was a bust. With Luanne gone and
Amy ill today we had Joanie who is the owner but she is not a good
instructor. It was slow, tedious, too easy, and repetitious. I will give
this a few more weeks and then if it doesn't get better I think I will
drop it. The tragedy is that there were 15 people there this morning and
just when it is taking off it is dying! I came home to find Bill here
ready to work on the fence but first he had to load all the wood on the
truck and sort out what he was going to use to repair the fence. I went
out and did some work myself. I pulled all the weeds on the outside of
the fence on the South side and Bill pulled out a 2 to repair the bottom
board that was broken and looked tacky. Sandy was here most of the day
off and on with Niki. Don patiently takes them from one place to another.
They ate at Chucky Cheese at about 3 in the afternoon so I figured they
would not be here for dinner and so I reheated the chicken, rice, the
salads were left over and since I had not put dressing on them they were
fine too. I made Don a milk shake in the afternoon. Finally Sandy had to
go home and wouldn't you know the next thing we knew Niki was asking Don
to take her to Nicole's. She can't be by herself for one minute. It is
sad. So later she called to ask if Nicole could spend the night and
naturally I said yes. At 5:05 there was a program about dogs for one hour
and then one hour for cats. We watched the dog part and it was great so
when I called Priss I told her about it since it was [ ? ] at 9:15. Then
at 8 we watched the first part of Jesus of Nazareth. That had been shown
in 1977 and it was
56
just as good as the first time. So at 10 we went to bed. Lisa had brought
the girls here but then they were hungry so Don took them to Taco Bell to
eat something. It seems like Niki never eats the food here although it is
always here if she wants it but instead she wants all that fast food
trash.
March 29
Up at 5. Niki wanted to be up by 6:30 so we let Nicole sleep and Niki
took a shower and was ready to go at 7:30. We had decided to give Niki
$100 to spend on clothes and I gave Don some magazines for Linda. While
he was gone I got a lot done. I washed the bedding for the apartment
bedding, lots of towels etc. I vacuumed the apartment. Don bought filets
yesterday for our dinner tonight so I got them out to thaw. I made up the
bed again and put away the rest of the wash. When Don got back he had
forgotten to give Linda the money and the magazines. After lunch I worked
outside. I started by digging up the cement where a post had been in the
South yard. Then I dug four holes and transplanted the four roses I had
put in the North yard. I decided they would not get enough sun there. I
painted the cement deal that separates the apartment from the TV room.
Don wrote a note to Carrie Smith listing some of our concerns about Niki.
I hope these will help her pinpoint problems. I did one more thing about
the garden. I had put the vine with the lavender flowers against the
North fence but Daisy barks at a dog through the fence and has stomped on
all the plants so I moved them to the South yard fence and I hope they
take hold. Then I came in and showered and then I suggested a walk and we
had a good one. Came home to do the salad greens and we had a drink on
the patio, the first of the first and we had salsa and chips and then we
had the filets, twice baked potatoes, a green salad, hot fresh bread and
for dessert jarlsberg cheese, crackers and grapes, wine with the dinner
and later I had a Kaluala sundae with frozen yogurt. So it was a great
day. Very productive and it was lovely with just the two of us. Linda
called and they found a beautiful skirt at Weinstocks but it was $55 and
I just hope they find something a little bit less but they looked and
looked to no avail. So tomorrow I have things to do. I painted the
threshold to the apartment and it looks much better. Just one more little
thing I got done.
March 30
Up at a little after 5 and I did my exercises with 5 pounders rather than
the 3's. Don went off to tennis and I got busy with things around the
house. I fed all the house plants and went outside and watered the things
I had transplanted yesterday. When Don got back he walked with me and we
did the Mall course, stopped at Lucky where they had good papayas and he
bought two at $3.00 each. I think that is too much to pay, $1.50 for 1/2
of one in the morning seems like an extravagance so when he offered to
pay I let him. Then when we got home I kept waiting for Cathy to come so
I ended up not going to Stars because she came after 11. She brought me a
dozen eggs and they looked very nice and are worth the $1. Rose and
Marijeanne were with her since they were going to the dentist so they
couldn't stay long. Then I walked to the library and I was able to cut
through the
57
creek bed and it is so much shorter. I had 50+ cards and I had time to
file them before Don arrived. I found the new Marge Recy book that I had
wanted to read because I had just read a review of it. So when we got
back home Bill was just finishing up the fence and it looks fine. With
the shed gone the yard looks so much bigger. Tomorrow we will start
sprinkling the area we have to dig up to get rid of the ivy roots and
then we can put in the plants I have: forsythia, and two white quince and
hopefully some lilacs for the North yard. Then I ironed and got that out
of the way. Made a chicken salad and cooked broccoli for dinner. I will
be glad when I can eat chocolate again but Saturday is not far off. I
chatted with Linda on the phone in the morning for a few minutes. Lovely
and unusual sunset tonight, very dramatic. I called Priss. She talked
steadily for 1/2 an hour. Now I am going to read a little. Don suggested
a drink and we talked a long time about religion and how we felt about
it. Then we went to bed and made love and that was lovely so it was a
good day.
March 31
We were up by 5:30. It is light now in the morning when we do get up but
starting Sunday there will be dark again because of daylight saving time.
Glanced through the papers and then got on my grubbies and when Don went
to play tennis I worked on the south strip where the shed was. After
reading the Thursday [ ? ] and [ ? ] I can really have a feeling for
those people when they cut down trees and had to fight the roots. My back
hurts tonight but better me than Don since his bothers him when he
doesn't do anything. But I got it leveled and most of the roots are out.
The rest will be cut when they start up again. Then I spent time in the
house going over the furniture and applying a dressing to help the wood
and everything looks great. Don was late getting back from talking to
Dale so I ate lunch at the table on the east patio and then he came so I
drove out to the Chico Mall. I stopped at McFrugle's and then at a dress
shop next and then Target and finally at Ross and I found Ceo skirts in
all of them. So when I got back I called Linda to tell her that Niki
should be able to find something here if she doesn't see anything in
Carson City. Got home and fed Daisy and had some iced tea since it got
hot. Then read till 5 and we drove out to the Red Lobster. It is very
attractive and I had a good dinner of grilled shrimp with linguine. Don
had shrimp and lobster but it [ ? ] was not good. Came home and I called
Priss and then Mike called and I told him about checking out the
elementary schools for Emma because in four years she will be going. She
is fine now finally and that was good news. So now it is 8 p.m. and no
more work for today. I am reading Marge Piercy's Longings of Women and it
is interesting. So it was a satisfying day and I treasure it because I
have just one more and then it is back to the regular world. Talked to
David Yakich who is here seeing his Father and then later I talked to
Mary and she is not going grocery shopping so I will go tomorrow alone.
April 1
It is 7:30 p.m and I think I could go to bed right now. I really don't
know why I am so
58
tired. I didn't do all that much today. I started out early going to Food
for Less and the Cannery. I got a ham for Easter and strawberries for
tomorrow when Niki comes back and then the usual things. When I got
everything put away we drove to Paradise to find Mendons nursery. Well
the turn was right off the main road but we didn't see the sign so we
drove for a long way before going back and finally found it. It's huge
and I would have liked to browse but instead we got an old man who didn't
know where things were. I wanted a white quince and one of the women
clerks eventually told the man where to look. It was a 5 gallon one (I
wanted two one gallon ones) and it was $17.50 but by that time since they
couldn't find a white lilac and I could take only lavender I was ready to
weep. They did have daisies so I got a pony pack of them. Then we drove
home and quick changed and went to Stars but the woman is so bad that I
don't think I will go next week. Maybe I will have to switch to Chico
Sport. Got home after 12 and ate lunch and changed my clothes and went
out to dig a hole for the quince and the lilac. There are so many tree
roots that its very hard work. My original plan was shattered so I put in
the quince, put the daisies around the plant and the lilac nearby. Later
when we went to Longs to get the blind for Niki's room I found a trumpet
vine so I went back for it and got another gardenia. Don spent the
afternoon getting the computer and what started out as about $900 ++ has
kept getting more and more expensive as more things must be bought. I
made oatmeal cookies and for dinner I just heated up last night's meal at
the Red Lobster and there was enough for us both. Don goes tomorrow to
pick up Niki. I am having trouble keeping my eyes open so I won't stay up
late tonight. Tried Priss a number of times but the line is busy so I
will not pursue it further. Beautiful day but I did not walk. I must
tomorrow.
April 2
It is 8 p.m and I have just finished eating a chocolate sundae, very
small but with lots of chocolate since Lent is over. Before that I called
Omaha and got my sister. She and Phil had gotten home about two hours
before and so she was all excited about their two weeks in Mexico. They
had had a wonderful time. Then I called Priss and she talked for another
1/2 an hour so my ear is tired. Both Don and I had trouble sleeping last
night so finally at about 4 we talked which is much better than just
lying there. We got up at 5 and I did a few exercises but not too much
because my back has been bothering me because of all the work in the
yard. I think It will take another few days before it is back to normal.
Don left at a little before 9. I dashed to the F. Market and got some
apples and kiwis before he left. Then I made 3-bean salad and a macaroni
salad for tomorrow. Got dressed and walked to Walgreens and got birthday
cards for Jenny and Linda and then I went to Lucky and got vitamins, new
potatoes and one big tomato. Heavy to get home. How Packy have stopped
and had a long visit with her. I planted the trumpet vine and the
gardenia and I did two loads of clothes so I got a lot done. They got
here before 12. Niki had had a good time. She said Craig was made a vice
president of the [club] and about time was my feeling. I kept busy all
afternoon. I cleaned the bird bath, did some things in the yard, etc. for
dinner
59
we had sandwiches B.T.L for Don, ham and cuke and tomato for me and T&C
for Niki. She said she and Linda had talked and she wants to try very
hard to lose weight. I will help in any way I can. She couldn't reach any
of her friends today so she has been watching TV but she seems to be in a
good mood. I did the rolls that have to be in the fridge overnight so
tomorrow I will make the potato salad, do the rolls and cook the ham. Now
I am going to watch a movie with Don and if I don't like it I will read.
Don called Peggy Crandell and found out that Hod had died in January.
Bessie Marquis called and we had a long talk.
April 3
First day of daylight savings. We woke up at the new 5 without any
trouble. The papers were both dull so I called Mary and suggested we pick
her up early because so many people go to mass on Easter. I wore my cream
skirt, sweater, shoes, and hose and looked ok. Don dressed up too and
looked very nice. We got there early but there were already a lot of
people. The choir was great and I liked the whole thing. Took Mary home,
changed clothes and we put up the new blind at the South window of Niki's
room. We washed the car. I took Mary to the hospital. I made the potato
salad, I [did] two pans of cinnamon rolls and four pans of regular rolls.
I enlarged the table and put on dark blue place mats and candles, used
Indian Hawthorne blooms, fixed the nut cups and everything looked
beautiful. Showered, pinned up my hair and then wore an off white sweater
and loose fitting matching pants. I looked good. Niki went to the Sports
Club in the morning. The Yorks came at about 5. We all had wine and sat
on the patio and then we had dinner and everyone ate a lot and it all
tasted good. Too good because I ate more than I should. We talked about a
lot of things and it was an interesting conversation and I felt warm and
comfortable. Later Cathy and Don went outside to smoke and David and I
had a good visit. David is a very intelligent man and I realize we are
very lucky to have him as a son- in-law. Julie and Niki went to the Sport
Club and then Don drove Jenny back to Durham. Don was very good about
washing up and putting everything away. I called Linda and talked just a
pit. Craig was not feeling well. I called Priss and she made me feel
guilty because she had been alone and said she had been so lonely and
sometimes I just want the family and today was one of those days. So now
having a little after everyone was gone or in bed I had better go wash my
face, brush my teeth and go to bed. I did not walk today and was tomorrow
I must do a lot of that.
April 4
Today was a very strange day. I felt that I just didn't accomplish
anything. The Puritan ethic is still so strong that unless I have
something to show for my day I feel lost. Ok I did little things like
watering some plants, I repotted some cuttings, I made Don a milk shake
in mid afternoon. I drove to Payless and got a good buy on calcium pills.
I took food over to Mary because she spent the whole day at the hospital
with Steve and she had said she didn't have much in the house so I sent
oatmeal cookies, a lot of ham, macaroni and 3-
60
bean salad. I talked to Linda on the phone twice. But mainly I read. I
finally finished the new book by Marge Piercy about the 3's: Mary the
Homeless one Leila, the teacher and author and the girl who murdered her
husband. Then I took the book and the book of poetry by Barbara Kingsober
over to Packy as I had promised her. Niki went to Carrie Smith at 1:30. I
gave her $60 and she went shopping with Sandy but couldn't find anything
she liked. She went home with Sandy so Don and I ate leftovers. Then I
did walk to the end of North Avenue and back but that was just a mile.
Then Don had gotten the Joy Luck Club and we watched that and it was
marvelous and so sad. I wept. I vow that tomorrow I will have more to
show by the end of the day.
April 5
Our day was better than yesterday. I accomplished a little bit anyway. We
got up a little after 5 and I did my exercise and had my juice, toast,
vitamins and hot Suka. Don went off to play tennis and then he and Carl
went to breakfast with Carl Peterson. So first I picked up my hair and
then I ironed a lot of clothes. Then I decided to look at small clothes
and found a lot of shorts from the Discovery Shop without 500 price tag
still on them. When Don got back I went over to Priss to get some things
to take back to the Discovery Shop on Friday when I work. And I forgot I
walked to Longs to get some B complex vitamin and then to Lucky for
cottage cheese, a papaya and a bananas. That was after the ironing. Had
lunch and then made macaroni and cheese, read till 2:30 and then walked
to PV to talk to Mrs. Nichol about Niki's schedule for next year. Walked
back stopping at the nursery on the way because they had white lilac in a
gallon can but it was $8.50. Will check with the other nurseries. Made
macaroni and cheese and a salad for dinner. Niki was at Sandy's helping
her with her math. We watched the news - dull - the stock market went up
82 [points] but then it was way down so it still has a way to go. It
sprinkled a bit and it may rain in the night or tomorrow. I am still
reading Cruel & Unusual by Patricia Cornwell. Don did a little of running
around that today and now tonight his head and the back of his neck is
bothering him. He has to slow down. Hospice called and wants me to make
two dog cookies for the 13th and I said I would. I guess I will go back
to Stars tomorrow although I am not keen about it. I haven't decided what
to do about that. Now I am going to read. I called Alice this morning and
she had seen the Joy Luck Club and liked it as much as I did.
April 6
Another day after a bad night. I woke at 2 and finally after 3 I got up
and went to the apartment and read till Don got up and found me gone from
the bed and came looking for me. It was a cold dark day with some spits
of rain. Now its April and I want it to be spring but instead it is like
winter. Don went off to play tennis and I went out and did a little
raking and pulling some weeds and put the living in the garbage can. I
decided not to go to Stars. I washed the white jacket Priss gave me but
the spots did not come out. Damn! Don thinks we should go see Carrie
together without Niki. She is so
61
uncommunicative that we are very frustrated. I ate early and then walked
to the library getting there at 12. Typed lots of cards and got most of
them filed. Have Don came to pick me up at 2. I thawed a hot dish, did
the salad greens and then Don went to pick up Niki. Had to go to Lucky to
get some things and when I got back Niki was asleep and slept through
dinner and till about 7:30. Still no talking though. Got a long letter
from Jenny and she is getting things ready to move even though she can't
get in till May. A woman came to explain the computer and Don is going to
take lessons. I don't think I will get involved. It is all so
complicated. Niki is not interested and supposedly he bought it for her
and it keeps getting more and more expensive. What next? I read York
Ferry by Annie Dawid about a man who leaves his wife and five children
and never comes back bo writes his wife but she never answers and the
children all have problems. Well done. Now I am going to bed. Talked to
Priss. Talked to Mary Y. Steve is home. Tonight I am going to take some
Excedrin PM. I must sleep.
April 7
Last night I took two Excedrin PM's before going to bed and I woke up at
20 to 6! Didn't get up in the night at all. What a change from the night
before. Niki went off shortly after 6 and then Don took the car to be
serviced and Carl picked him up at the Nissan place, so I got dressed and
Daisy and I attacked the bushes in the back yard. I snapped all lit of
let dead branches and I sawed a lot so there wasn't too much left. Carrie
Smith called to say we could come in at 10:30 today and at 11 on
Saturday. Don and Carl stopped for coffee and didn't get back till 10:05
but I rushed out and Carl said we could use his car so we got it here
office. Little after 10:30 and we had a good session. I think the man
thinks was that she listened to us and was non judgmental whereas if we
talked to our children they would be left with his own agenda in mind. We
are going to meet with her again on the 19th at 3:30 with Niki, so then
we got home and had lunch and Don went for a nap and I sat down to read
and dozed off because when the mail man came and Daisy barked it woke me
up. When Niki came home I tried to talk to her about her schedule and she
reacted as always. I refuse to go to small all just put down something
for me. Just what Carrie had said was one of her problems. She doesn't
want to make decisions. But when dinner time came she was better. I fixed
bacon and eggs for Don and poached eggs for Niki and me. I made biscuits
and a fruit salad and everything tasted good. I picked roses and changed
the flowers and I even brought in some dogwood. Linda called to thank us
for the check and card and then told me all that Carla & Chris gave her:
two blouses, dress, three pair of shoes, brown suit, shorts, knit tops,
sweater earrings, silk scarf, etc. How nice to have such bosses. So
tomorrow I pick up my hair then I guide it. Go to Stars. Go to the
Discovery Shop etc. Called Bessie Marquis and they are coming to dinner a
week from Sunday. I took a hot shower and it felt good. I hate to shower
when it is chilly and I used a lot of hot water and it felt good. I hope
I sleep well tonight.
April 8 - rain!
62
I took an anti anxiety pill last night and I slept right straight
through. It was wonderful. Woke to another dark gloomy day with
sprinkles. Did my exercises had some dry cereal and then got dressed and
by 7 I was on my way to Safeway. Carl couldn't play tennis so Don started
on the bushes in the back yard while I was gone. I brought him a doughnut
plus a papaya and one banana for tomorrow morning. I changed my clothes
when I got back and we both put in about another hour cutting back dead
branches and cleaning up underneath. Then we went into the house. I
washed and set my hair and it was dry by noon. I decided not to go to
Stars. Will start back on Monday. We had lunch and I read The Hidden Life
of Dogs till time to go to the Discovery Shop. Don took me. There was
nothing in the back room so I had nothing to bring out. I checked through
things and found two pairs of slacks that interested me so I took them on
approval and a sweater. We really were quite busy and ended up with
$136.06 so that was good. Don picked me up and I was glad to go because I
had a bad headache and once I had two cups of tea I was fine. Niki was at
Nicole VanRossom's so I heated the hotdish, made salads and for dessert I
had two little Sara Lee mousse pies that were ok. Then the news. I talked
to Priss and then tried on the slacks and they both fit fine and so I
shortened them and will press them tomorrow. Niki came home and called
Sandy but evidently she was doing something because nothing happened. So
she watched TV. Don had gotten Strictly Ballroom and it was just great. I
loved it. Niki said she had seen it two times before and I could see it
again. Don said while I was gone this evening Jenny called. She doesn't
see how Niki could come there for a month. Her friends would be in school
and anyway she can't afford to come here or have her come there. It would
have been better if Linda had not put the idea in Niki's head and now
Jenny must be the bad guy yet again. Too many people trying to run the
show. Well I think I will read for a while and then go to bed.
April 9
Another Saturday. It doesn't seem right just a week ago we were planing
for Easter at next day. I was awake early but stayed in bed till 5 and
wasn't too upset about being awake. Did Don's breakfast and then did my
exercise and opened the drapes, mended things up as I went along. Got
dressed and left the house at 7:15 to pick up Mary. I spent more than I
planned at Food for Less but then a bag of dog food was over $8.00 and
that had not been on my list. The Cannery did not have anything exciting.
I was home by 9:15. Put the groceries away and then I typed a long note
to Niki giving her options on next years classes and suggesting that she
read more and watch the news. Read the paper etc. Whether she takes it to
heart I have no idea. Then Don and I went for a walk and by then it was
bright and finally warm out. We had lunch and then I wrote a letter to
Jenny. Worked outside for awhile cutting off dead branches from the
bushes. The mail came and out check from our Sueane tax arrived it was
for over $6,000. With the state tax return we got more than $9,000. Don
suggested we go out to dinner but Niki never wanted to go and so she put
me off until it was too late so I made sandwiches of ham, cheese, lettuce
and fixed Don some soup. I had a chocolate sundae for dessert and he had
some
63
chocolates from the box Mary had given me for Easter. I went for a walk
by myself and when I got back talked to Priss and then wrote to my
sister. ? Niki didn't get one phone call last night or today. I know she
is very upset although she doesn't show it. She is at the apartment
watching TV and doing her homework. I am very sleepy so I think I will go
to bed. The sun did come out today but it was still real chilly. I did a
huge ironing, did shorts etc. and I am ready for summer.
April 10
It is 9:30 and I have been watching Middlemousle by George Elliott on
channel 9. It is interesting. It has been busy today. We went to church
and it certainly wasn't crowded like it had been on Easter. Took Mary
home and then when we got home we changed clothes and worked on out
forest because that is the way it seems now. Don sawed and I hauled
pieces of wood and leaves. We have decided to get it all done, take it to
the driveway and then call someone to haul it away. We stopped at lunch
time. I wanted to work some more and would haul some stuff to the front
yard but Don got mad and said he would have to come out too so I quit. We
had lunch and I worked on dinner. We have sugar peas so I took the
strings out of those and then peeled potatoes for mashing and got the
chicken ready and made a carrot salad. Made a yellow cake and fixed the
strawberries. Don and I went to S&S so I could buy oranges and we stopped
at Priss to take back her books. I did a load of clothes. Niki stayed
here all day and didn't make any phone calls or get any. I don't know
what the scoop is but she was friendlier than she has ben since I can
remember. She lay in the sun too long and ended up with sunburn but she
laves about it and she talked to us at dinner and I really felt
comfortable with her. I hope tomorrow she will go back to her distant
self but that was really nice. My period started yesterday and this time
the flow is very heavy. We went for a walk after dinner and I had to stop
at Walgreens to get the thickest pads. This is a ridiculous thing to be
having this at age 75.1 don't know what to think about it. The sun was
bright all day. It was very chilly this morning but as the day progressed
it was great. We are going to work on the pruning again tomorrow and I
don't know if I will go to Stars or not. I will see how things go. Now to
bed.
April 11
Don and I are too tired people tonight. Got up at 5:30 and don went to
play tennis at 7:30. Niki's sunburn was so bad she didn't go to the
Sports Club this morning but went straight to school at 7:30. When they
were both gone I got on old clothes and started moving the piles of
branches etc. that were on the patio to the driveway. I used the travois
method. Got an old bedspread and put the stuff on it and dragged it. When
Don got back from tennis I had everything in the front yard and then he
got on the ladder and cut the rest of the dead stuff out and I put leaves
in plastic bags and together we got everything done by 12! We had thought
it would take at least another day but we did it! But we were both very
tired. Don called and a man came out and said he would take it all away
for $50 and
64
since a dumpster would have cost $45 and we would have had to load it and
maybe it would not have been big enough we figured $50 was fair. Now
tomorrow I will work on getting the front yard ready to put grass in
where it is bare. Will all this never end? It seems to go on and on. Well
anyway we had lunch and I showered and changed my clothes. My period had
been very heavy and so I thought this could go on for days but after my
shower things settled down and now I am almost done with it for another
month thank goodness. I read a bit in the afternoon, spot watered the
North yard and made a simple dinner of things left over from yesterday.
Niki wasn't hungry and she ate a little later of things of her choice. I
made oatmeal cookies after dinner since I said I would send two dozen to
Hospice on Wednesday. Then I went for a walk because I had not had time
earlier and I stopped on the way back to pick up my books at Packy's and
she says she is feeling better and that is good. Niki went over to
Sandy's to help her with her math. Now she is in the apartment watching
TV and doing home work I hope. She gets no phone calls these days. It's
all very strange. No Andy, Loren, or Valerie. If she minds she doesn't
say.
April 12
It's 9:45 p.m. and when I finish this I am going to bed. When Don went
off to play tennis this morning I decided to take up the round cement
blocks and move them near the front gate where we plan to plant grass. It
was difficult to say the least but I managed three big and three little
ones and I got them set up just as Don returned. He didn't seem to think
there was anything very special about it. But I quit for the day. I came
in and showered, shampooed and put tan of stuff on my legs because it is
getting warmer and I have to wear shorts. We had lunch. Don took Niki
over to Citrus school so she could talk to Mrs. Lindeman's class about
drugs - a project for her health class. Then Don had to pick her up and
get her back to school. I made a delicious chicken salad, cooked green
beans and fixed hot rolls. At 5 when dinner was just about ready Niki
asked why we couldn't eat out tonight. I said dinner was already made and
she got huffy and stalked off and didn't eat with us. So we went ahead
and ate our dinner but it spoiled it for us naturally. We watched the
news and then I called Linda who said she plans to come down this weekend
and she wants Jason to meet her in Sacramento and they will both come up
here and he will be able to see Jado. Well I hope it works out. I told
her that we had tried to call her on her birthday but there was no
answer. Then I called Priss. I had planned to come for a walk but by then
it was getting late and I was so weary I gave up so it means that I
didn't walk at all today. Not good. Tomorrow I go to the luncheon for the
Discovery Shop ladies and I hope that is fun. The man came this morning
and took all the things we had taken out of the bushes so the driveway is
all clear again and he got $50 for his [ ? ]. Suddenly we seem to be
spending money for everything: the computer lessons for the computer,
trash hauling, etc. It will be nice if we spend some money to have fun!?
But I guess those days are over. Now we spend money on therapists for
Niki, etc.!
65
April 13
It is 9:30 and I can't keep my eyes open. Last night when Don began to
snore I just got up and went to sleep across the hall. I slept very well.
Don came over when he got up and felt very bad. I explained it was no
ones fault but I just had to have my sleep. After breakfast I was going
to go for a walk and Cathy arrived from work. I gave her the honeysuckle
plant I had dug up and then she sat and talked to me while I did the
ironing. We had a good visit. Finally she had to get home and to bed.
Then Don went into the study and started clearing out books to make room
for things and he got a whole lot of books that he felt he did not use
any more and never would. He took them to the library. I got dressed in
my cream skirt and the sweater I like so much that is a bit lighter in
color and Lyn Birch picked me up and we went to Priss' house where Vivian
Millis and Pat Dobbin joined us and we all went out to the Country Club
for the family service lunch. It was ok but not great and then a man told
stories about women in the past in California and they were all funny. It
was over much sooner than I thought it would be. I came home and changed
my clothes. Niki called from school to be picked up early since she had
worn her new shoes and her feet hurt. When she got here we called her mom
because it was the 14th there and her birthday. She talked to her mom for
a long time and then Don asked Niki if she wanted to go out to dinner and
she said yes and we went to Red Lobster. This time because I wasn't
hungry I had a shrimp salad with too much lettuce and too few shrimp. But
Niki liked what she had. We stopped at the Chico Mall and she got a
personalized card for her Mote. She didn't have any money so she asked
Don for $5 and he gave her $6 just in case. When we got home I suggested
she repay Don because she had said she would as soon as she got home and
Don told me not to do that. Why can't he see that we are not teaching her
anything if every time she works for money he just hands it out. We just
can't agree on how to do things like that and we went for a walk
afterwards and I thought to myself what if I just started buying things
like crazy with the credit cards and spent about $400 a month without any
thought about paying it back. What would he do then? I am sorely tempted.
How about $1,500 for a computer plus lessons. There are things I would
like to buy.
April 14
The first few hours of the day I did a great deal. I dusted the whole
house, watered all the plants and then I went outside and put systemic on
all the roses and then put plant food on them as well. Also on marigolds,
etc. Then I repotted the table decoration I had won at the fashion show
luncheon and ended up with five very fine small plants. I dug up more
honeysuckle for Cathy who wants it and I want to get rid of it. I also
made bread. I went to the plant sale at [CSH] but there was nothing that
I really wanted so I came on home. Don had the lady come out and get him
a lesson on the computer. It costs $45 an hour but he did get a letter
written on it after she left so he is getting the hang of it. We had
lunch and I sat outside in the sun for a while. Then I thought about
report cards so I called the school and asked when they would be out and
was told they were out on Tuesday. So Don
66
went to get Niki and she said she had the card and it was in her room.
She has no credit so far in record keeping. A B in health, A in Math, Sue
in English, A C in world history and an F in PE. We were stunned. Then
she went to Sandy's after school and now at 9 p.m. she still isn't home.
I am very discouraged about the whole thing. We had such good intentions
about her coming here when she asked to come and we told things would go
well and they just haven't. She is not a part of the family, she uses us,
and although she may tell Carrie she likes being with us I can't believe
that at all. She doesn't talk to us, she spends all her time in the
apartment watching TV and if I go in to ask her something she doesn't
even prod to answer. Don is cross and irritable, he keeps trying to quit
smoking and so he snaps at me and I try to understand but he has done
this so many times that I have lost all patience. Sometimes I want to
walk away from the whole thing. Maybe tomorrow will be better but I doubt
it.
April 15
This has been a strange day. We got up at 5 and I picked up my hair and
then did my exercises. I woke Niki at 6 and she decided to skip
exercising and got up at 6:45 when I woke her again. She told Don on the
way to school that she was going shopping with Sara after school. Don
wanted to talk to her about her grades so I thought about it a lot during
the day. I walked to the Mall walk on the way to Lucky. Then checked out
K-Mart and then home. I stopped at Bidwell and had a good talk with
Barbara and Kathleen catching up on all the gossip. The E-R this morning
said Paul Carras is going to be Assistant Superintendent so there will be
a new principal at Bidwell. I went to pick up the GATE tests but they had
not come in. Don was having his second lesson with the computer lady. He
gave her a check for $90 since it is $45 a lesson and he had two. I wish
substitutes made that kind of money. I decided to go to Stars. I had not
been in April. Well it was still the boss running the show and she is
still terrible. I did not stay for the whole thing. I may have to go to
Sports Club after all. All the other women are as unhappy as I am so I
came home and ate lunch and then worked outside for a while. When Niki
came home we decided to talk to her but it didn't work out as planned. I
started by talking about family and everyone's role and finally she said
that we wanted to be a happy family and it just couldn't be but she
refused to say why she was so unhappy and for the first time she cried
and finally she left so we accomplished nothing but we did realize just
how unhappy she is. Is she just depressed without reason or is something
terrible wrong that she can't talk about? We are totally baffled. Well
she went to her room and then later she asked Don to drive her over to
Sandy's who is leaving for at Disneyland at 7:30. So Don took her over
and we had dinner. I heated hamburger buns, mixed up some canned salmon
as a spread, sliced cheese, pickles, tomatoes and lettuce and the result
was delicious. Don picked Niki up at 7:30. I had watched the news and got
a ml walk in before she came back. She is over in the apartment watching
TV and there as unaccessible as usual. Tried to call Linda but no answer.
Not sure I want to talk to her anyway. Does Niki want to go to Australia?
Has she done something wrong? As something terrible been done to her like
abuse from
67
someone? Since she won't talk about it I can only [pray] that it isn't
too serious.
April 16
Woke to a lovely sunrise. Was on the road at 7:15 to pick up Mary. At
Food Market got snap peas, apples, one red onion and a bunch of radishes.
At Food for Less I needed a lot of things that cost lots of money: One
dog food $7.99, three papayas, $2.98 each. Chicken at $5 etc. so it came
to $56 or was it $66 - anyway too much. Then I got things at the Cannery
too so I came home with $10 for Niki's lunch money and not much else.
Wow! Well anyway I put the groceries way and walked to Safeway to get
cottage cheese. When I got back I fixed my orange, raisins and cottage
cheese, ate my lunch, and then went out to put in the grass. I found peat
moss in the shed, got the grass and the rakes and almost in things out
and planted it and watered it. Now I just hope it takes. Came in the
house and shampooed, showered, set my hair and wrote a letter to Jenny.
Niki went to Nicole's. I made dinner and it was a repeat of last night.
Same sandwiches with potato salad added. Then I did my mile walk so I got
in three miles today. Don's back has really bothered him today so he took
a pill. Niki called and she has been invited to dinner and the night at
Nicole's so that is great for her. We started watching Indecent Proposal
with Robert Redford and Demi Moore. Don got bored fast and I watched a
little longer. Then later I went back to it and saw the ending. It wasn't
great but ok. I got ready for bed and Don wanted to try again after not
too much success last night, but I had to say no. I just wasn't in the
mood. So many times I have wanted very much to make love but Don had a
headache and a backache and I always "understand." Well this time he had
to accept. Sorry about that.
April 17
We got up at the usual time. Don still felt not too great so I told him
he should stay home from Mass and he didn't insist. I wore my cream
colored cotton slacks and the sweater that color I am so fond of and I
picked up Mary and everything went ok. Our new priest's homilies are
getting shorter and shorter but they are good. Came home and changed my
clothes and changed the flowers and watered my grass and at last my
seeds. Priss came over and brought back some containers, etc. and I
showed her my roses and she was impressed. Then I walked to Walgreens,
Longs, and K-Mart looking for shampoos, etc. for Niki. I wanted to best
price and it was at K-Mart. Also bought a new ironing board cover but it
didn't fit and I will have to return it tomorrow. Jason called and talked
for a long time. He will have to stay in S.C. this summer and take some
classes. He had a wonderful time in NY. I made a good dinner: chicken
thighs, sugar peas, a big green salad, hot rolls and chocolate cake with
whipped cream. Don picked up Niki a little before lunch. She had been at
the VanRossums overnight. Don who always gets such strange things has an
infected navel so he went to Convenient Care and the lady doctor cleaned
it out but said if it got worse he should go to Emergency where say
Doctor F. It is painful. We went for a walk after dinner but we didn't go
far. I watered the seeded area
68
again after dinner. I so hope the grass comes up! I seem to be very tired
tonight although I haven't done all that much today. Am I getting old? We
are looking for a typing table so we can move the typewriter out of the
desk area and Don can have the whole thing for his computer. Don is going
to call Nancy at the history office tomorrow morning. It is just 9:15 but
I think I will go to bed early to see if I can catch up on my sleep. What
am I going to have for dinner tomorrow!?! I am bored with cooking.
April 18
We didn't wake up till 5:30 so we had to hurry because to wake Niki at 6
and then Don has to take her to the Sports Club. Don's navel hurts so he
didn't play tennis but went for coffee with Carl and when he got back I
went to K-Mart to take back the ironing board cover that didn't fit and I
ended up buying a new ironing board that is light in weight and easy to
put up and take down. I also took the white blazer Priss gave me to the
cleaners to be pressed. It will be done on Wednesday. Then I did a lot of
ironing. I wasn't quite finished when it was time to go to Stars because
Amy was supposed to be there today and she was! She looked fine after her
bout with mono and we all enjoyed the class so much but she is going to
do it only on Mondays so I told them I would not be there for a month and
I will have to decide what to do. Don went back to Convenient Care and
they gave him an antibiotic and they have made a culture. He is in a lot
of pain and was miserable all day. I finished the ironing. I keep
watering the areas where I planted grass and I just hope it comes up. Got
the GATE tests and read the instructions and will go tomorrow to get the
first half of the test at 9:15 and then again on Wednesday. Walked after
dinner and then called Priss. I took a shower and picked up my hair and
must do my nails. I got to thinking about my Mom so I got out my journal
for 1974 and read about her death and the services at church and then
people coming here afterwards and there was a letter in those pages about
Jason because he was just a little guy then and he spent a lot of time
here and this was when they moved to San Diego and David got the job as
dispatcher. Cathy is with Phil Ward and Jenny is with Skip off and on.
Reading the various times during that year brings back all kinds of
memories. I am tired tonight and will simply go to bed early.
April 19
It is 10 to 10 p.m. and I have actually been talking to Niki! Usually she
is so distant where she just goes over to the apartment and closed the
door. We were all supposed to go to see Carrie today and I got dressed to
go but when Niki came home from school she asked that we go next time.
She wanted to go alone. Since I really didn't want to go anyway I was
happy to agree. This morning I got dressed to go to Bidwell to get the
GATE test. I wore cream colored slacks, the matching sweater, shoes, etc.
it was at the library and there were supposed to be nine but one was
absent and one decided not to take it. It went ok. I go again tomorrow to
do the second half. Don is not feeling a bit well. His stomach is swollen
and he is in pain. He promised he would go back tomorrow and see how
about culture and I would like him to go see Dr. Foltz. Well we will see
how he feels in the
69
morning. When I got home from Bidwell I ate lunch and then watered my
area where I planted grass. I am beginning to think it is not going to
come up. In the afternoon I worked hard digging up roots in the new area
in the South yard. While I was gone this morning Don fixed books in the
hall bookcase and got rid of a lot of them. I put them in plastic bags
and took them to the car once he was done. Then I dusted the ones left
and reorganized and rearranged them: 1111=1111111= and in the gaps I put
vases, Don's tennis picture and then I found a nice frame and found a
print that fit it and I put that on the wall and it looks much better.
Plus everything is clean and is there is no dust! I am suddenly very
tired of cooking. I can't seem to think of anything interesting to make.
I ended up slicing some ham, made mashed potatoes, broccoli with cheese
sauce and a green salad. It was all ok but I would like some exotic and
different. Called Linda and now instead of coming on Thursday she is
coming on Friday and will leave on Sunday. That will be better for Niki
too because she will be in school on Friday but she can have Saturday
with her. I got a letter from Pauline today and she seems to be fine. She
is going to be 80 in May and all three boys will be coming for her
birthday and that is nice. Niki has gone to bed and I should too but I am
not sleepy. I think I will read for a while.
April 20
This has been a messed up week somehow. I woke up late and so before I
knew it the clock said 6 and I had to wake Niki up. It is very difficult
and I hate it every single morning. She finally made it. I went out and
cut all the roses before we watered that area. I got dressed in my long
blue print skirt and navy top and was at Bidwell before 9. I was to go to
305A but when I got there there was only one table so it was close to 11
before I was done. Came home and Don had gone to see Dr. Foltz and she
said he had to see a surgeon and got him an appointment with Dr. Johnson
for 3:35. So we had lunch. I put a load of clothes in the washer and
walked to the library where Don and Niki picked me up at 2:45. Got home
and changed my clothes again and went to the Doctor with Don. The Doctor
lanced it and drained it and put a bandage on it gave him an RX and pain
pills. Then he took Niki to Sandy's. I fixed Don a bacon and tomato
sandwich and I had ham and tomato. I made chocolate sauce and we had
sundaes. Why don't I have the guts to skip dessert?! Went to Thrifty and
bought raisins - 99 cents, Tide - and tape for Don's bandages. Called
Cathy and told her about the whole thing and she was relieved that the
doctor had lanced it. When I went to Thrifty I stopped and got Priss some
applesauce and returned a dish. Niki called to be picked up at Sandy's at
8:30 and Don went to get her. I cleaned his wound and re-bandaged it and
he is going to try to sleep on the lounge in the TV room. I will read for
a while and then go to bed. I don't know if he will feel well enough to
go to the Hospice luncheon or not tomorrow.
April 21
It is almost 10 p.m. I am not all that tired but I will write this and
then go to bed because Linda will be here tomorrow and I want to stay up
late to talk to her. So how was my day?
70
We got up early or rather I woke up at 3:30 and dozed till 4:30 and then
got up and made the bed and did some of my exercises before I went to
start breakfast and Don got up from the TV room lounge. I woke Niki and
don took her and then she called to say that the Mitchells had not come
so he had to dash over and take her to school. Then he went to have
coffee with Carl and I walked to the cleaners and got the white jacket
that I took there and probably will never wear and paid $3.50 to have
pressed and the spot is still there. Ok well. Came home and drove to S&S
and Lucky to get things needed and then I made a batch of gingersnaps and
put in the fridge. Made a sandwich for Don and one for me. Got the chips
and salsa and we went to the Hospice lunch. There was a lot of food but
we didn't stay long because Don didn't feel well. We never seem to fit in
somehow. There is always a reason to leave before things really get
started [ ? ] at but church or social events. I got the clothes ironed
and then reread a P.D. James book this time Devises and Desires. It was
very good second time around. Niki went to Sandy's after school and
didn't want to come home for dinner so Don picked her up at 7. We had a
good dinner: steaks barbecued, orange salad and left over mashed potatoes
for Don and left over veggies for both of us and fresh bread. I called
Priss and she kept pressing me about Don's problem and I probably told
her more than I should because now she will tell everyone. Why couldn't I
keep my mouth shut? I made the cookies in the afternoon and the were
good. But I ate too many. Went for a walk after the news. Called Mike
today. He didn't sound right and finally he admitted that he and Karen
were having problems. He said he had talked to Linda about them. I called
her and we talked about it at length. She feels she is a very spoiled,
selfish person with a lot of anger and hostility. The world revolves her
and woe betide someone who crosses her. She thinks there are some serious
problems underneath that she has to deal with. And she talked a long
time. We are very sad for both of them and especially for Emma.
April 22
When I woke up and found it was 5 a.m. I couldn't believe it. I certainly
wanted to stay in bed but I got up as usual. Don was asleep on the couch
in the TV room. And guess where Daisy was. Not on the lounge but on the
big chair! I was shocked. After breakfast and the paper I vacuumed and
dusted the apartment and did our kitchen and living room Found a yard
sale ad in the E-R for a typing table and Don found the place but no one
was home. He promised to go tomorrow at 8 since I have to go grocery
shopping at 7:15.1 shampooed and set my hair. Niki wouldn't get up at 6
so didn't go to the Sports Club. Don says if she stops going like this we
will cancel that out. I got dressed for the day and Don went to Dr.
Johnson at 11:45 and he goes back in a week so this deal is going to be a
long haul. I ate lunch but Don was going to Lisa's for the luncheon group
at 1:30. Linda arrived a little before 1. She looks great. She brought a
lot of clothes and some of them fit me and the rest I put in sacks to
take to the Discovery Shop. She was very hungry so she had something to
eat. Niki called at 2:15 saying that the PE class could watch the track
meet or go home so Linda went to get her and they went off on errands.
Don got back and
71
he felt pretty miserable so he took a pain pill. I opened a can of salmon
that I served cold, made noodles Alfredo, the three bean salad, some
fresh bread and I made brownies for dessert. Everyone was hungry and ate
well. Afterwards Linda and I went for a walk and we talked about Niki and
our worries and concerns. It was a good walk and a good talk. Right at
the end we talked a little about Mike. Don went to bed early and Niki has
been with Linda all evening. That is good because no one called her and
she would have been alone. It is 9:30 and I had better think about going
to bed.
April 23
It is 9:15 p.m. I have just finished taking a shower. Linda is in the
apartment reading. Niki is spending the night with Sandi and Don is in
bed for the night. I will give him the last antibiotic pill when I go to
bed and it is raining just a little after a day of clouds and rain off
and on. I picked up Mary at 7:15 and we did the usual. Every time I seem
to spend more money than I expect. Today it was $35 at Food for Less and
$11 plus at the Cannery. I worried that Don and Linda would not get to
the place selling the typing table at 8 or it would be gone but when I
got back from shopping it was there in good shape and it had [cost] only
$10! I still haven't used it but will be writing a letter on Monday. I
went to a church sale where I had found good things in the past but this
time it was terrible and I stayed just little while. It was cold, windy
and miserable and I was glad to get home. Jenny called while Linda and
Niki were out at Cathy's saying that Ed Barnett had called her saying
that a girl had told his answering machine that Niki wanted to talk to
him and he wanted to know what Jenny thought about it. She told him she
didn't want Niki to see him at this stage. Then when Niki and Linda got
back and we told Linda about it she said Niki had told her that Sandy had
called. She called her Mother and talked to her and I guess the idea is
that if she talks to Ed either Cathy or Linda has to be with her and it
might be done by phone. Don is very upset because he hates Ed so much.
But Linda thinks she will have to resolve her feelings about him. She
thinks Niki wants to know would he really love her or would he just put
up with her because of Jenny. They had also talked about Ken Pierce and
though she doesn't want to see him now I think she might be willing to
talk to him in the future. Sometimes I think I am part of a soap opera.
Aside from all this I made a carrot souffle, made a chocolate mousse and
a potato salad and we had hot dogs well I didn't but Linda and Don did
and I had a cheese, tomato and cuke one. Linda and I went for a walk
after dinner and stayed under the overhangs at the Junior High. Niki
didn't eat with us. She went to Sandi's. Linda plans to leave early in
the morning. I am going to read for a while before going to bed.
April 24
I had told Mary yesterday that we were not going to Mass this morning so
when we woke up at 5:30 I didn't feel pushed. Linda wanted to be wakened
at 6:30 so I got her up and then did my exercises and talked to her. She
left almost right away because she wanted to get home early so she could
sort of adjust before going to work tomorrow morning. I went
72
out and cut roses but the rain last night had pretty well spoiled them. I
made an arrangement for the dining room table about three times before I
got it right. Then there was a lot of cooking to do. I had to take the
fat off the chicken and then I sauted the chicken breasts and two thighs.
I had to take the strings out of the sugar peas and I had to finish the
carrot souffle. I had to do the salad greens and I vacuumed the kitchen
floor and then mopped it a little. I washed rugs and rags because Linda
and Niki had washed the car yesterday and so there were a lot of dirty
rags. I had to pin up my hair and decide what to wear. I ended up with
the cream colored rayon slacks and that lovely sweater that matches and a
silk scarf Niki called saying that she would be at Sandy's till 5:15. I
suggested that Sandy spend the night and she came for dinner too. I fixed
tidbits of cheese, salsa, chips and nuts. The Marquis came at 5:30. I had
Don light the fire since it was so cool and it felt good. Dinner was very
good. The chocolate mousse was especially tasty. I would have been happy
to have had a second helping. In fact Don did. He took the girls to the
Sport Club after dinner and picked them up at 8 and Don & Bessie left at
8 so it was a good evening but I find I get more uptight about guests
than I used to. I think I am getting old. Well in fact I know I am. Now I
will read for a while and then go to bed. The girls don't have school
tomorrow so they will sleep in.
April 25
We woke up to rain, wind, and cold! It snowed in Sterling City and here
it hailed, rained off and on all day. Don says he feels better today so I
hope his navel is healing. He has had a bad time. I read the papers,
checked on the fridge freezer and threw things out or rearranged them
so that was something I had not done for a long time. Don went with Carl
to have a cappuccino and I went for a walk. I dressed warm and it was ok.
But I will be glad when this is over and we return to normal. Finally the
girls woke up at about 11 and I fixed them poached eggs on toast. Then
they decided to go to the Sport Club so since Don was lying down I took
them there. I had sacked up all the clothes to go to the Discovery Shop
so I stopped at Holiday to get oranges, Coke and rhubarb and then went to
the Discovery Shop to leave the clothes and pay my bill. Came home and
made a lovely fruit salad, cut up the rhubarb to put in the oven for
sauce, opened a can of peas, got out the leftover carrot souffle and
chicken and mixed up a package of ricearoni so I had a lot of stuff to
eat in the oven. Then I wrote to Jenny. Don had called Mike earlier and
left a message so he called back. He said there was no new development.
He figured nothing much would happen in the next few months. He is going
to see someone but he doesn't think Karen will. I got the impression that
he is the one who is demanding something from her but I am not sure about
it. Well anyway I had everything set out so at 4:15 I put everything but
the salad in the oven and at 5 I took it all out so it was an easy meal
to prepare. Tomorrow we all go to see Carrie and I wonder how that will
go. Niki wants new clothes but she wants to send away for everything and
things are so expensive at Victoria Secret. I want her to check at Ross.
We will see. I must get a perm. My hair is diving me crazy.
73
April 26
It is 9:15. I have taken a shower, pinned up hair and done my nails. I
got a call to work at Chico Junior tomorrow so this is the reason for all
this. We got up at 5:15 but I had been awake since before 4. I got an
anxiety attack and couldn't go back to sleep. I started saying the rosary
and later this morning I found one and put it near my bed so if this
happens again I will be ready. I found that Niki had slept in the
apartment and somehow that really teed me off because naturally she
doesn't make the bed. If she wanted her room in a mess that is ok but she
is not going to do it in two bedrooms. Don went off to a Hospice meeting
9:30 - 2 so I was by myself most of the day. I made spaghetti sauce that
turned out beautifully. I got roses, neated up the house and then walked
to Mervyns where I found two skirts that were $20 each and a black top
that would go with both. I came home and ate lunch and did the salad
greens and then pretty soon Don came home and then he picked up Niki and
at 3:15 we went to see Carrie. All of us. I am not that impressed with
her and Niki said so little that I didn't feel that anything was
accomplished. There was a lot of talk about trust and Niki's idea seems
to be if you disagree with her then she can't trust you. She gave as an
example that her Mother didn't approve of her friends who by the way were
into drugs and alcohol. Well I don't approve of them either but that was
an example. I felt that it was $65 thrown away and I can't say that
anything is getting better. We had thought we were going to talk about Ed
but he was not even mentioned. When we got home Niki decided she liked
one of the skirts but the top wasn't not big enough so after dinner I
went back and took back the one skirt and exchanged the top. The weather
was strange today. It rained, the wind blew, the sun came out and so it
went all day. At noon I watched Nixon's plane arrive in California and
the color guard, the 21 salute, very impressive and moving. Well one more
coat of polish and to bed. Library will be closed tomorrow because of
mourning a formal president, all government offices will be closed.
April 27
It is 10 to 10 and everyone is in bed but me and I am tired and should be
there. We got up this morning to another chilly dark morning. I had
planned to wear my off white slacks and sweater but instead I wore dark
blue slacks and top and my sleeveless brown jacket. Don took me to Chico
Junior [at] 7:45. The day went ok. I worked for Mary LaGrande who is the
7th grade counselor. She didn't have too much for me to do but Pam Bodner
gave me some tasks in the afternoon and the time really didn't drag all
that much. I had a conference after school so I didn't get home till
3:30. Barbara Applegate called me and she is very upset about her husband
Roy who has had his license taken away for a year. It was supposed to be
a secret but was in the psychological journal or some such thing. It was
for misconduct with a client. This is not all through but the damage is
done. When I got home Don had written a letter to Niki and he wanted me
to read it first. It was a good letter and she didn't seem to react badly
to it and she must have read it. Don had wanted hamburgers for dinner so
I had thawed three of them but then I found out that I had put
74
some sliced ham in packets with the hamburgers so there were just two. I
had a beef stick one instead. I took a walk after the news and called
Priss took about Cinders for 30 minutes and about other dull things.
Today was Nixon's funeral and there was much about that in the news. The
really big news is the voting for president in South Africa. Peter
Jennings is there and it is incredible to see millions of people waiting
in line for hours to vote. I had arranged to have a perm today but I had
to cancel and now I have to wait till Tuesday. Damn. I feel fat and
bloated tonight. Pretty soon I will be taking that provera for 10 days
and then I will really feel fat! I must talk to Dr. Foltz about this. But
now I am tired and I am going to bed.
April 28
I got up this morning feeling cross, irritable, shakey and depressed.
Great start to the day right? Well anyway then I was supposed to get Niki
up at 6 but she did not wake up and then said she wanted to sleep till 15
to 7 and that wasn't much better. By that time I was ready to cry. Don
went off too for coffee with Carl after he had taken Niki to school so I
went outside and dug up periwinkle in my [work] part of the South yard.
Then I came in the house and called and made an appointment with Dr.
Foltz. She could take me at 11.1 went to Walgreens but didn't buy
anything and came home. Don was back so I told him and I took a shower
and went. She was wonderful. She thinks it is possible that I may be
reacting to the provero so I am not to take anymore and I have an
appointment to go back in a month and if I am not any better than she
thinks we should [ ? ] something else. I really like this woman. She is
direct, attentive, efficient and she seems to realize how one feels. I
came home and ate lunch and then I took a nap and then I made Don a milk
shake because he has lost weight with all this navel business. Then I
made a chocolate cake, thawed some spiced chicken wings, did a grapefruit
kiwi salad and heated up the rice yet again. Niki went over to Sandi's
after school and was to call before 5. But she did not call till much
later and then she said she was coming home later and later and finally
Don picked her up at 8:30. [ ? ] has pretty well given up. I don't think
that is the way to go but I can't win so why make a fuss. Watched the
news, then I called Priss and then I went for a walk. Came back and read.
When Niki did get home I told her about how I felt about trying to get
her up in the mornings and how it upset me that I have to keep going back
again and again. She just said it was hard for her to get up in the
morning. Now it is 5 to 9 and I should read some more. I don't feel as
bad tonight as I did this morning but who knows how I will feel tomorrow.
April 29
Well thank goodness I feel better today than I did yesterday. We didn't
get up till 5:30.1 went in at 6 to tell Niki it was time to get up and I
didn't go back in but she got ready and Don took her. But then later I
found out that the bill for the month at the Sport Club was $104! And the
monthly fee is $48! So there is a lot of eating and drinking on the bill
plus $5 every time she takes a guest. What with lunch money, allowance,
counseling and this
75
we are putting out a lot of money each month. I walked the Mall walk this
morning and stopped at Lucky to get limes, lemons, and one banana. Lemons
and limes were 10 cents each. Don went to see Dr. Johnson at 10:45 to
have his check on his navel. He cleaned it out again and found two long
hairs and a cyst that he removed. What next? He did tell him that he
could play tennis tomorrow and that pleased him. I decided to make a tuna
salad, broccoli with cheese sauce and muffins for dinner. Did it all
ahead of time and then when Don went to pick Niki up she was invited to
Sandy's to spend the night. So we ate by ourselves. Not that we minded
but maybe I would have cooked something else. I did make up 12 hamburger
patties today since we had run out. I also ran a load of clothes and then
ironed things that needed it. I talked to Priss after the news and then I
walked the one-mile walk so I got in about three miles today and I wrote
to my sister and sent her a check for $25 for her birthday which [is] the
12th of May. She will be 80 and all three sons are coming for it. That
will be nice. Well the election in South Africa is finally over and now
they will start to count the ballots. Mandela has a majority but he wants
two- third's because he feels he could get more done that way. When we
found out that Niki was not going to be here we decided that Don felt
well enough and we did make love but then at about 8 she called to say
they were going to a movie and could he pick them up so it will be late
and there goes that plan. Also the school called to say she had cut one
or more classes today so we will have to deal with that. Don really
doesn't want to do anything about any of this. The money at the club,
cutting etc. I probably want to do too much. So the day is coming to a
close. I guess I will read. But things work out after all. Niki stayed
the night with Sandy so we had our drink and then we went to bed and made
love and it was good. Don was so [amazed] because his navel did not hurt.
April 30
We were a little late getting up this morning. The possibility of rain
did not materialize and it was bright and sunny when I picked up Mary.
Nothing exciting about the shopping. I was home by 9:15. Put the
groceries away. Don had played tennis and although he got a little tired
he was ok. I drove to PV because they were having a giant rummage sale
for various good causes. There were a lot of people there and there was a
lot of ugly junk and I didn't see one thing that I wanted. So I stopped
at Safeway while I got two dozen large eggs for $1.18 and a pound of
strawberries for 57 cents. Not bad. So I came home and we went to Su
Step, a shoe store near Albertsons. I saw shoes I liked and wanted but
they did not have my size. So we came home and had lunch and then I was
outside in the sun and read and then I shampooed my hair and set it and
went back outside and dozed and sunbathed. Came in and changed my
clothes. Got the mail and our PGE bill was $122 which was good and I got
my monthly check and a check for Chico University for $65 so that will
help. I fixed a simple dinner of leftovers. Some spaghetti, some tuna
salad, melted cheese on bread and fruit. It all tasted good. I got
nervous about Niki since she had not been here since Friday morning
before school. Mr. Smith answered the phone and said they were swimming
but she would call and she did later and she and Sandy and two
76
other girls wanted to go to a concert at the children's park near the
Presbyterian Church so Don picked them up at 7 and they came here so she
could change her clothes and then Don took them. Now at 9:25 they called
and want to be picked up. Got a letter from Jenny today. She thinks Niki
should be allowed to call Ed and if someone is with her it is ok with
Jenny. Got cards for Donna and Jill and put $10 in each.
May 1
It is getting on towards 9 p.m. and I have had a busy day. We got up at
5:30 and I read the papers and then got dressed for church. I wore tan
slacks and my navy cotton jacket from China. Came home and we went for a
walk before the [ ? ] man came to teach Don about the computer. Thank
goodness this one charges $10 instead of $45. Then I got busy and I baked
a pie crust, made the lemon filling, did the salad greens. Niki called
and wanted to be picked up at Sandy's so Don went to get her but then she
wanted to go to the Sports Club and didn't know when she would be back. I
had planned to go to the Chico Mall to look for white shoes, get a book I
had ordered etc. but I decided I couldn't risk going not knowing when
Niki would call. So I walked over to the N.V. Mall. I decided I wanted to
find a beige short sleeved top to go with two pairs of beige slacks. I
looked at all the stress in the Mall and couldn't fine any. And finally I
went to K-Mart and I found three to choose from I decided on a beige and
cream top because I could wear it with more things. It cost $8.54 and I
like it. Came home and Don picked up Niki and she did three loads of
clothes, folded hers and ours and even talked a bit. My dinner was a
great success. I had decided to cook a vegetarian dinner: green beans,
corn on the cob, a huge green salad and fettuccine and lemon pie. We all
loved everything (I didn't eat the corn) and I felt good about my
experiment. We don't have to have meat every night. But at the moment I
don't know what we will have tomorrow night. I called Priss and told her
I was bringing over some pie since she loves it so much. We had a very
good visit. We talked about a lot of things and about Niki and she seemed
to be very interesting. I stayed for an hour. When I got home Niki told
us about an English assignment that has to do about King Arthur and we
have been working through things trying to find something without
success. Don will go to the college library tomorrow since the county
library isn't open on Mondays and this is due Thursday. No word from any
of our children today and things have been quiet from then of late. We
certainly didn't hear from Mike and that worries me. I am afraid things
are not going well. Watched The Last Civil War Widow Tells All Part I
fantastic but it lasted until 11 and I was very tired.
May 2
We didn't wake up till 5:30 and I was afraid Niki who stayed up till
11:30 too watch a movie would not get up at 6 but she did. I was proud of
her. I did my exercises read the papers and then put the clothes away
that had been washed yesterday and then I did the ironing. Got dressed
and walked to the Mall and checked at Longs on the plants that have been
reducing and today the trumpet vines were down to $1 (they had been
$3.99) and the
77
mums were 50% each so I got two vines and four mums and it was all for
$4! Then I got dressed and went to the Chico Mall. Well first I went to
Ross and I didn't like any of the white shoes, then I went to the Mall
and I checked Sears, Penneys, Payless, and Gottchalks and Trontinaun. I
ended up ordering the ones at Gottchalks. They were $29 and not very
exciting but I hope they will be ok. I got the back I had started about
nutrition that cost $25. I wished I had not started it but felt I should
take it. Got home and planted my plants. ?? Pick the mums and but the
cuts in wet sand. Then I fed the dog. For dinner I had leftovers:
broccoli and cheese sauce, green beans, pizza that Priss had given me,
and I made a cabbage salad. I had strawberries I got Saturday and I cut
them up and we put them on ice cream. Linda called and had a long talk
with Niki and then she talked to Don because she wants Niki to come up
for a weekend. Then I talked to her and she had Valerie had apologized to
Niki. She did not tell us that but she did say that Valerie talked to her
now. We had a good visit and then Don and I went for a walk. I showered,
have been glancing at the new Good Housekeeping and I will read for
awhile but will go to bed early. Talked to Priss and she was fine.
May 3
Again we woke up late at 5:30 and in no time it was 6 a.m. but Niki got
up without any fuss and I took her at 6 because Don was having breakfast
with Nancy Riley at 6:45 and he had to shave. Then when I got back I did
my exercises and had a small bowl of cereal. Then I walked to Safeway and
got half and half, cottage cheese and buttermilk and one ear of corn - it
was heavy carrying at home but I made it. Don got back from his breakfast
and playing tennis. I read a bit and then walked to the beauty shop.
Heidi was not there but fortunately they gave me Tricia and she was
better. It took a long time for I [wasn't] done till 15 to 1 but I was
pleased with my perm. I walked home and I was pretty tired by the time I
got here but I fixed my lunch and felt better. Then Don got home from
Hospice and then it was time to feed Daisy and Don picked up Niki. For
dinner I baked potatoes, cooked a meat loaf, made squaw corn, and a
chocolate pudding. Watched the news and then Don and I went for a walk.
We were over by the Bidwell area where they stack stuff they are going to
throw away. A man came out and said we could take what we wanted so we
took a desk deal that is better than the typing table and then we went
back and got a chair. We cleaned everything up and now I am sitting. Too
bad we bought the typing table. Then the phone rang and it was Pauline.
She had gotten the kids and then check and was very pleased. We had a
good talk and at the end when she said how much she loved me I started to
cry. Then I ?ad to call Priss and she had been shopping and I just had to
listen. Don was tired so he went to bed early and so did Niki so now it
is 10 to 10 and I am watching the oldest living Civil War widow tells us
and I write in this during the commercials. It was cloudy all day and it
may rain. We shall see.
May 4
It is 7 p.m. and I am sitting in the living room watching it rain. It has
been trying all day
78
and it came down hard for awhile but now it is just sprinkling. I walked
this morning to Walgreens for vitamins and then on to Lucky for bananas.
Also walked to the library so I got some miles in. Cathy and Rosalie
stopped by this morning because Rose had to go to Don Perko's and to the
acupuncture doctor. She brought her schedule for next year and she is
going to be taking geometry in the 9th grade! We talked about the state
testing and about college for Julie. While we were having lunch Mary Y.
Called saying Steve was back in the hospital so we called Lin and she
later called back saying she had talked to David and Marilyn. They are
not coming down now but will come next week. He is mainly just
dehydrated. Then Mike called and he talked a long time. It certainly like
they are going to separate. She is going off by herself this weekend and
then he is going to do the same next weekend. He is hurt and angry and
sad. So our we. So then I walked to the library and typed 60 cards. I
made a lot of mistakes so I didn't have time to file them before Don
picked me up. Came home and realized that tomorrow Don's group are coming
for brunch. It is going to be very simple this time believe me! I am
tired of cooking for these people and I am never involved myself. Then at
11:30 Priss is coming to pick me up and we are going to lunch. I talked
to her tonight on the phone and she was real abrasive. I hope that is not
true tomorrow! My white shoes that Gottchalks ordered came and I think
they are going to be ok. Fortunately they were not very expensive. Got a
letter from PV today and Niki has been tardy and getting to class very
late so she has to go to Saturday school. We didn't make a fuss. We just
told her she had to go. So now I am going to bed Oldest Living Conf.
Widow Tells All. Got the people back at the library.
May 5
Up at 5 after a good nights sleep. After Niki had gone to the Sports Club
and Don and I were finished with the papers I got busy on the brunch at
10. It was Don's group and so I set four places with the dark blue mats,
had roses and jasmine in a white vase and with white candlesticks and
blue candles. I made a fruit compote, tiny sausages, scrambled eggs and
Don and I went to Safeway and got rolls and doughnuts. Then I got dressed
in beige slacks and turtle neck and blue shoes and my china jacket. I
wrote a long letter to Jenny and then Priss arrived and we drove to the
Red Lobster. I had a salad and broccoli cheese soup. It was all good but
there was way too much soup. It came to $3.99 and with $1 tip it cost $5.
Not bad. I had made a list of things to talk about and we got along fine.
Got home and changed my clothes. I had eaten more than I usually do so I
was not interested in what we might have for dinner so I got out some
ground ham and some ground beef left over from a roast and made sandwich
spreads and opened a can of soup. Niki went to Sandy's to work on a math
project and Don picked her up at 8 and she had eaten at the Smiths. I
suddenly got the urge to make cookies at about 4:30 and made oatmeal ones
and they were so good! I had some with milk for dessert. I planned to
walk but every time I was about to go it started to rain. It didn't rain
a lot but still it was dark and gloomy and not all that appealing. I
spent a lot of money this morning. I got shampoo, eye drops and white
mink Roux. I also put $32+ in Don's checkbook because I
79
used my Gottchalks card when I ordered the shoes that came yesterday.
Well from now on I must be very careful about money that I spent because
so far I have already spent a lot. The ban on assault weapons passed the
House today by two votes! The National Rifle Association finally lost on
that one and about time! Everyone has gone to bed. I suppose I should be
going too pretty soon. I will read a little while longer.
May 6
Another cold dark day that was windy and it ended up raining as well.
This is May? Did my exercises, read the paper, Niki went off to the Sport
Club and since the Mitchells didn't come Don picked up Niki and took her
to school. I fed and watered the indoor plants and the gardenias outside.
Then I did a load of whites and founded them. By then don was back from
tennis and I went for a walk. Checked at [Sherwin] William about paint
and they didn't have any of what I wanted. They are moving out of the
Mall to where Grossmans used to be. Then I checked out The Shop for a Wh.
Shell but they didn't have anything so I went to K-Mart but they didn't
have any cement paint in small quantities so I gave up and came home. Had
lunch and then I read Newsweek and dozed awhile Don and Daisy both took
naps. Mary Y. called to say that she had gotten Steve into Twin Oaks and
it was a beautiful place and he will go there from the hospital on
Monday. She was very pleased. Then Linda called and we talked for awhile.
She had heard from Mary and didn't know if we had heard. Then Don got in
[ ? ] with Mike and he is feeling much better. Karen is not going off
this weekend. She has agreed to go to counseling and he says maybe they
will stay together and if they do then Mary will be better and maybe they
will get a divorce but he feels he can handle it either way. Then she
talked to Jenny and she is moving this week and sh is excited about that.
We also got a letter from her and a Mothers Day card that was sweet. So
except for Cathy who is in Reno with David we talked to everyone. I fixed
hero sandwiches and soup for dinner. I also did the mashed potatoes for
Sunday and I must check the turkey to see if it is thawing. I read an
interesting little paper back Fall From Grace. Not great but good. I
think we will have a drink before going to bed. Niki is at Sandy's. They
both have to go to Saturday School tomorrow morning because of tardies
and they will be leaving from there. Yes we had the drink and had a good
visit and then went to bed and made love and that was very good too. We
haven't lost out touch.
May 7
It is 7 p.m. Niki fell asleep in the apartment while watching wrestling
and just now woke up and fixed herself something to eat. Don is watching
a very old movie with Burt Lancaster. I just returned from my evening
walk. It is almost clear tonight and maybe our dark wet days are over. It
has been real quiet today. Niki had to go to Saturday School to make up
tardies and Don picked her and Sandy up and took them and then picked
them up. At 8 he and I went grocery shopping. I really would rather have
gone alone but he had nothing to do and asked to come. I spent $35 at
Food For Less and of that: $12 for
80
papaya, $2 for bananas and $1.50 for prunes. These are all things that
only Don eats and only at breakfast! So about a little less than half of
the bill was for that. Ok well. So what? Didn't see anything very
interesting at the Cannery but I got a few things. When we got home and
put the groceries away I went for a walk and spent $20 on vitamins,
carrots, Motrin and a few other small items. Money goes fast. Sometimes
it frightens me. We had lunch and then Don re-seeded the areas where the
grass did not come up when I planted it. I stayed on afterwards and did
some weeding and hoeing. Cathy arrived with two very funny Mothers day
cards and a glass bud vase. We had a good visit and then she left. I came
in and at 2 Niki called her Mom and I talked for just a moment. Jeannie
was there. Bessie had called and they were going out for lunch and then
were going to take some things to the new house. We both rested in the
afternoon and then I fixed scrambled eggs and biscuits and kippers for
dinner. Then the news and then I did my walk. I had ironed this morning
early so that was about the extent of any inside work. Ok yes, I forgot.
I made the dressing this morning and cooked the green beans. Tomorrow I
must make rolls and meringues and I got strawberries so with ice cream
that will be dessert. Since it rained on Friday Bill did not come to mow
and with the rain the grass is long already. By next Friday it will be a
jungle. Jason called and he wants Don to pick him up at the bus depot in
Sacramento sometime next weekend but he will let us know when. I guess it
will be an evening of reading.
May 8
Mother's Day. Well I guess all in all it was a nice one. We got dressed
and went to 8 a.m. mass. When we got home I went to work. First I made
salad dressings so I could use two egg yolks and then have two whites. I
made meringues and they turned out beautifully. I also got to make rolls
but then I checked the freezer and there were eight left and I decided I
wasn't in the mood for making rolls so I just didn't. I did the relishes
and then I went outside and watered the area where we planted grass. I
picked the white blossoms from the privet, put them in the black vase,
got out the black candle sticks, white candles, black mats and black and
white napkins. It looked great. Ate my lunch outside because finally the
sun came out and I think it is here to stay this time. In fact I sat
outside and read in the sun and it was just great. Linda called and we
had a good talk. Then der's the afternoon a woman brought a perfect
bouquet of flowers and they were from Niki, card enclosed here. I was
deeply touched. I stuffed the turkey and got it in the oven before 1.1
heated green beans, the gravy turned out just perfect. And the dinner was
good. In fact the whole dinner was very good. Mike called at about 10 to
7 and he said he had sent a card and some plants and I should get them on
Monday. Priss came a little before 5 and we had a drink and then ate
dinner and it went very well. She was in a good mood, ate a good dinner
and seemed to enjoy it. I had wine with dinner and I have a headache
tonight but the bad part about this day was that I got on the scales and
I weighted 104! I realize it can't be that bad tomorrow morning but I
simply must stop eating butter rolls and I will have to eat less at
meals. I simply can't go over 100 pounds unless I grow about 2 - 4"
81
and I know that can't happen so starting tomorrow morning walks a m?
Exercise and like eating. But I have four great children and they all
remembered me and I love them all very much and I think they love me.
May 9
It is 8 p.m. and if I am not pooped I should be. What a day but I got so
much done! If only I could do this every day. But then I am almost saying
this. After my Suka this morning I got dressed and I made my first mile
to the end of North Avenue. Came back and attacked the big bathroom tub,
shower, tile. I got the doors finally clean, worked a little on the tile
and got the tub looking good but it is sp a job and awkward as well. Then
I went outside and took all the poppy plants that were in a shallow pot
and put them in the south yard in the border. Maybe they will live maybe
they won't. I had some seeds so I put them in the pot and hope they come
up. Then I spent the next hour cutting back the shrubs in front. I got a
little done but there is still more to do. Then I changed my clothes and
walked to Safeway to get cottage cheese in 2.2 more miles. Had lunch and
then I made bread and then I made rolls in just plain and cinnamon.
Dinner was a snap because I had all the leftovers from the turkey so I
made a green salad and that was that. We watched the news. Then Niki told
us that her best friend Michelle was coming to Southern California in
early July to go to Disneyland and they and her were to come during and
she wondered if we would pay her airfare. We said we would think about
it. Then we went for a walk and I got in another mile so today I walked
4+ miles. And I wore shorts because now it is much warmer. Mike sent a
sugary sweet card (the card I hate) but there were pictures of Emma and
she looks sweet. Mary called and Steve could not go to Twin Oaks today
because he seems to have a new problem and they were going to run tests.
What next? We called Linda and she was going to check on him but she has
not called back. Niki got up at 6 and went to the Sport Club but then
called saying she did not feel well and came home and slept most of the
morning. She seems ok now. She says she wants to go to the Club tomorrow
and to school but she also wants to stay up till 11 to see a movie.
May 10
It is 9:35 p.m. I have just hemmed a pair of Niki's jeans that she has
turned into shorts. For some reason the sewing machine just keep breaking
the thread. I ended up doing the hems by hand. Well today was a little
difficult. First I walked the morning mile at 6:30. It is so great to
have it warm and bright at that hour. Then I finished up cutting the
hedge in the front yard and then put down the small blinds. How I was I
had one of its electric deals that would just cut it off in no time
instead of doing it by hand. But it is done. Then I came in the house and
decided I didn't want to give the typing table to the Discovery Shop so I
put it in the back back with the paper box on top and Daisy's dry food
underneath. Then I took the wooden deal that had been there into the
apartment bedroom. I looked inside and here were all these little kids
books so I called Head Start and they said they would love to have them.
When Don got back from tennis we took them out to
82
the Chapman Center and it is a really beautiful place. I was so glad I
had told about it. Then we went to the train depot new park and walked
around it and then to the library end we both got books and I gave Lorna
books for when kids are ? Over so I did my good deed for today. We had
lunch and I set in the sun for awhile and then came in and read for
awhile. When Don took Niki to see Carrie I walked to the Mall and checked
on paint to paind my chair in the study and then on to Longs to get some
tanning lotion. Made heroes for dinner with turkey, tomatoes, cheese,
pickles and lettuce. Made a garbanzo salad and artichokes. Don and I
walked over to Wards after the news to pick up the paint. I called Priss
who is in a tizzy getting ready to go on her trip. Don called Jenny at 2
p.m. to have her check on Michelle's plants about Niki going to see them
when they come to Southern California. No word on Steve Yakick. David and
Marilyn are supposed to come tomorrow and they may help. I am going to
read for awhile and then go to bed.
May 11
We got up a little late but today right from the beginning it was warm
and clear. I did my exercises. I thought maybe Niki did not get up at 6
but she did and Don took her to Sport Club. Then Don went off to play
tennis and I was just getting ready to go for a walk when Cathy arrived.
She was getting her hair done at 10:30 and didn't want to go home and
come back. We visited, I did the ironing and she sat down to talk while I
did it. When Don got home I went ahead and started weeding because it was
almost time for her to go. I so enjoy her visits. So when I was done I
came in and had my lunch. Don sunbathes and he was eating when I left for
the library. I did all my cards and got them filed before Don and Niki
came to pick me up. Niki wanted to go to Sandy's so we dropped her off
and then came home. I had thawed a hot dish so I put that in the oven and
made a green salad and heated french bread. Niki called and said she
wanted to be picked up at 6 so we went ahead and ate dinner and watched
the local news and then Don picked her up and I set out her dinner.
Talked to Priss and she said she couldn't find any Citrosell in pkg. So
she would have to take a big container of vegetable powder. After I hung
up I remembered that Linda had given me a whole lot of that. She got it
from Dr. Ford and Thompson because they were samples. So I took the no
she needed over to her and then when I got back I went for a walk. Don
was watching a movie with Al Pacino. I was not interested, so I read. Now
it is going on 9 p.m. and I should be thinking about bed but lam not
sleepy yet. It got really warm this afternoon but not too hot. Supposedly
David Y. Is supposed to arrive this afternoon and Jason was supposed to
call Don to ask him if he or coming this weekend and he will pick him up
in Sacramento. Friday evening Joanna Cowden is giving a party for Dale
who is not going to be chairman next at. I have to go because I just
would like to dress up and go somewhere even if it is only to Joanna's.
Knowing Jason he will call at the last minute.
May 12
We woke up at 4:30 but didn't get up till 5. Daisy slept in the hall with
her head in our
83
room since I didn't want her on the lounge now that the weather is warm.
Did my walk after breakfast and then changed my clothes to grubbies and
went out ot the South yard. Dug around each rose and got rid of the weeds
and then I put systemic and then fertilized. Since there are now 22 roses
that is a lot of work. Don played tennis and then went to see Dr. Shaw
about his eyes. The pressure is fine but he thinks when he comes in six
months that he will probably need new glasses. Don had said something
about wanting Shakespeare's plays [ ? ] because one big book is so hard
to hold. I called the college book store and Daltons and I can get paper
backs for $4.00 so I will get some for Father's Day and his birthday. I
think he is tired of a new shirt each year. Next I took the blue plastic
for metal chair to the North patio and planted the brown and is looks
great. I am still debating about planting the desk as well. Read in the
afternoon. Niki did her make up test in English after school and then
went to Sandy's to help her with her math and didn't get home until 6.
Don went for a tennis lesson at 4:30. I had yesterday's hot dish, heated
hard rolls, made a fruit salad, put out the rest of the garbanzo bean
salad so we had plenty to eat and not much work. Then the news and then I
called Priss for the last time for two weeks. She was upset because David
had called but he was tired and in a bad mood and it was not a [ ? ? ]
call. It was warm today and not really completely clear so it didn't get
too hot. Niki got an A on her English essay about King Arthur. She was [
? ] about that as were we. Don is watching a movie The Four Musketeers
and Niki is in the apartment doing her home work. I went for my evening
walk, now I should shower and then read.
May 13
A busy morning. Up at 5. Did my exercises. Read the paper, started
washing clothes: first the whites and lights then the darks then the
sheets which I hung outside. Then the orange/brown/beige blanket that I
hung outside as well. I was had a 40 minute walk and it was lovely early
in the morning but when I got back I changed to cooler clothes. I ate
lunch and then laid down on the lounge to read and doze. I had a new
mystery Wycliffe and the Dead Floutist. I like English detective novels
and I have read many of W.J. Burley's. I fed the dog. Niki came home and
told us that an under cover cop had been at PV posing as a Senior and
they had arrested five students today for selling drugs on campus. She
went off to Sarah's and said she would ball later but now at 15 to 9 she
has not called. Don is getting worried as am I. I called Linda this
morning and had a good talk with her and she called again this evening to
say that she wants to have a wedding reception in Tahoe in late July. It
would be fun to go to something like that. I made a mock crab salad, and
I thawed rolls and had corn to cook when we got home from Joanna's who
was having a history faculty party. I wore my long white skirt, my new
white pumps and a very long dusty pink sweater, my pearls and silver
bracelets. I felt I really looked good. Joanna had a great spread lots of
food of all kinds. I really didn't want to eat much because I knew there
was dinner at home. Nancy Riley was retiring, plus the secretary and
Dale. They all got gifts and cards and then we left. Came home and had
our dinner and we have ben reading ever since. Mary Y. Called and she
decided not to go
84
shopping tomorrow. Steve is still in the hospital and I guess he won't be
able to get into Twin Oaks if he is not released on Monday. Mary is very
upset. Jason called to say he will be in Sacramento bus depot at 12:05
and Don will be going down to pick him up. He goes back on Sunday.
May 14
We slept in a bit. Got up and read the paper and had a piece of toast and
went for a walk before going shopping, skipped my exercises since Mary
wasn't going I went alone. Got apples at the market and then on to Food
For Less. Really didn't buy much there and so spent only $25. Then to the
Cannery where I saw a lot of things I wanted so spent $21 there. More
than usual. Came home for a stopped at Holiday to redeem my coupon for 5
pound canned ham $9.99 and ice milk $2.19 and 2 dozen eggs for a $1 so
that was a lot to get for $1. So I did well today. Don wet off to go get
Jason who was coming by bus to Sacramento. Niki called from Sandy's and
wanted a ride home and Don picked her up before leaving. I went for a
walk taking in 4 yard sales. I spent 30 cents getting picture frame for
25 cents and a cute little picture for 5 cents. Made myself a cheese
sandwich for lunch. Dusted, changed flowers, and Peggy Crandall called
and said she would sop by at 4 so I decided to make a potato salad and
thawed a small piece of ham for dinner. Don and Jason got here about 3.
They had stopped to eat on the way and the bus was late. I forgot to
mention that David York called and said he would bring his hedge clipper
if I wanted to have something trimmed. I was greatly? I trimmed all the
bushes in the front yard. Trimmed the birch tree of most branches and did
the camellias in the north yard. I got out to rake and got all the
cuttings and put them in the garbage. Jason is fine. He looks thin
though. Niki went swimming with Zak, Nicole, Valerie. And Sandy and then
Niki was going to stay with Sandy tonight so she was not here for dinner.
Jason ate with us and then went off in the car to take Baba to the
hospital. He goes back tomorrow. We watched the news and then went for a
walk. Peggy came at 4. She is a delight. She talked about her husband's
death and the funeral and she takes such a wonderful attitude towards it
all. In the E-R that listed the kids who had been selling drugs at PV
caught by an under cover cop. Big scandal. What next?
May 15
We got up to a raw windy morning and it had blown all night. I did my
exercises but I really didn't read the paper. The chronicle was late and
I just glanced at the E-R. Then it was time to go to church. We picked up
Mary who is upset about Steve but glad that Jason is here. After ds we
went to Safeway and Don got doughnuts for him and Jason and I had a
little sweet roll from the Cannery. I went for a walk the Mall we and
stopped at Lucky for Romaine lettuce and sweetener. Got back and Jason
was up and he took the car to go to the hospital for Baba's. Niki was
still at Sandy's. After lunch the men went off to Sacramento and I wrote
a long letter to Jenny and then one to Pauline. I always feel so good
when I get them done, for dinner I decided to make chef salads but first
I made a
85
chocolate cake and I got out rolls to heat. Don got back. Jason was
driving on the way down and he was over the speed limit got through Live
Oak and he got a ticket. Don said he felt very bad about it. Well it is
things happen. Before Don got back Linda called and we had a long long.
talk. She is so easy and such fun to talk to. Well I got dinner on the
table at a little after 5 and then at 6 we watched the news. Most of the
talk was about Belinngs who is the new nominee for the Supreme Court.
People are criticizing Clinton because he should have named Babbitt. That
was who he wanted but he would have had to fight because the Republicans
didn't want him. Well maybe he did the wise thing. I don't know. No
matter what he does he is supposedly doing the wrong thing. I am sick of
it! Niki washed clothes and is doing her school work I hope. Don is tired
and has gone to bed. I am reading a very good book called, Life Estates
by Shelby Hearon. I shampooed and set my hair. I have done my nails, I
have made my lunch so I guess I am ready for tomorrow. I am going to wear
my red suit put with a long sleeved knit top not white underneath because
I expect it to be chilly tomorrow like today. I went for a walk after the
news. This was my day.
May 16 Rain!
Woke up in the middle of the night to rain. By morning it was over but
now I am writing this at 9 p.m. and it is raining again and it is
supposed to go on like this till the weekend. Very strange. Well pack to
morning I did my exercises and had my bowl of cereal and then I got
dressed to go to Chico Junior. I wore the red suit I got at the Discovery
Shop last fall. It was not very warm but I wore a long sleeved top
underneath and it was ok. I had made my lunch last night so I just had to
put my make up on and was ready for Don to take me at 20 to 8. Pam didn't
have anything for me to do but I did and some customers and I had to
supervise the "Lunch Bunch" during second lunch hour and that was not
great ?? May. Don picked me up at 3 and told me that he was taking us to
the Olive Garden for dinner. I had planned on scrambled eggs so I was
happy to say yes. When I got home Niki told me that Mr. Barrett said if
she kept on she would get a C or a B in PE. That was good news. So I went
for a walk once I had changed my clothes and then we went to eat. I
didn't like it as well as the Red Lobster but I ordered from the lunch
menu and it was a small serving of lasagna and it was very good. Both Don
and Niki ordered from the regular menu, had cappuccino and a fancy
chocolate pie (I ate a few bites) and the bill came to $38 and it just
wasn't worth it. I think we will skip that place from now on. Came home
and I watched the 6:30 local news and was then going for a walk but it
was just too cold. A man came to help Don with the computer. Then John
Boyle called having gotten back and having gotten my message on the
machine. So now the Boyles, Marklands and Heins are coming for dinner on
the 26th. Niki is working on home work today and tonight so I think maybe
she will br through again ?? I didn't know about the history. I finished
a really good book called Life Estates by Shelly Hearon. Good stories
about women. Read a good quote today: if men could get pregnant abortion
would be a sacrament.
86
May 17
it is 10 to 9 p.m and Don and Niki have gone to get Sandy who is going to
spent the night. I suppose they will be working on Math. Niki came home
from school, ate a lot of stuff (probably didn't eat lunch) didn't want
to eat at dinner time and fell asleep. We just got her up to answer the
phone. It rained again in the night but was clear this morning. I decided
to clean the two bathrooms and got that done and then decided to stain
the little wicker thing Linda gave us that Is in Don's bedroom and it
looks much better. Walked to Safeway and got cottage cheese. Don went to
run errands while I was eating lunch and a woman called from Hamilton
City who said she had gone to high school with Don and she and her
husband wanted to stop by. I told her Don was expected any minute and I
just played he would arrive and he did just before they called. It was
Irma Hershey Slocum and her husband's name was Bill I believe. They were
nice and stayed for only a little while. They live in Washington, had
come to Julliard and they directed a chorus in the town ware they lived.
Don loves to see people from Mitchell so he was pleased. After they left
I walked to the Mall and got some shaving cream for Niki. Also went to
the 98 cent store and found some dill relish for 98 cents so I got two
jars. For dinner I had scrambled eggs, scones, and a mixed veggie salad.
I was going for a walk afterwards but it got so dark and forbidding that
I decided not to go. Instead I red the new Newsweek and then because I
was bored I went over to the apartment and did the ironing. I called
Alice and asked her to come over tomorrow morning for coffee. She will be
here at 7:30. I must come up with something to serve with the coffee.
Mike called and said that Emma had taken three steps not even realizing
she had done it. He sounded excited. He is going to North Dakota tomorrow
to make speeches. We have had man coming to give us estimates on the
study door. It looks as if it were going to cost about $450. Well Don
fixed us a drink and we sat outside even though it was chilly and we
talked and then the girls settled down in the apartment for the night and
we went ot bed and made love and it was just great. So then to sleep.
May 18
We were late in getting up this morning so there was a rush but Don got
the girls to the club by about 6:15 and then he went to Safeway and got
doughnuts. He went off to play tennis and Alice came at 7:30. She stayed
for an hour and we had a good talk. I always feel so comfortable with
her. More than with anyone else here in Chico. After she left I walked
the Mall walk stopping at Lucky to get bananas and some boneless pork
spare ribs. Came home and put the ribs in a pan with water and got them
in the oven where they cooked till it was time to go to the library. We
had lunch and then I walked to the library. I went early because I wanted
to pick out a lot of books and I found some of the ones I wanted. I
worked on the cards and got them all typed and filed by 2:20 so I stayed
till 2:30 and then went outside to wait for Don. I feel so sorry for him
because he spends so much time taking Niki and her friends various
places. I took Sandy home and then another girl had to be picked up so
she and Niki could go to the Chico Mall. I gave Niki
87
$60 and she gave back only $7 and she got two tops and a pair of shorts.
Then the school called to say she had cut a class. She says she did not
cut and she would go in and talk to Mr. Jones tomorrow. Our dinner was
good. We had the spare ribs, boiled new potatoes, artichokes and some
fruit. I made a vanilla pudding for Don. Niki and friend didn't get back
till after 6 and Don had to go get them. Both of us were very uptight
about all this. I want to start smoking again. I am thinking very
seriously about it and I know I am wrong but at least it would help
smoke. We have decided to go ahead with the study door and it will cost
now cost well over $500 and it will be at least two weeks before they can
put it in. I am tired and discouraged tonight with no ready answers.
Tomorrow I work at the Discovery Shop and I am glad to be doing that. The
Rosemons invited us to a party at La Hacienda but it is the same night as
the night we are having Bayles, Heins and Marklands. Damn!
May 19
It is 9:30 p.m. I have just finished hemming a pair of shorts of Niki's
that had to be shortened. They are jean material and heavy and hard to
sew in by hand. They are now ironed and ready to wear. They have a 36"
waist in that is 10" more than mine. I don't think she needs that big a
size but one doesn't argue with her about it. What happened today? Got up
at 5 without any problem. After breakfast and the papers I watered the
plants, changed the flowers and then when Don got back from tennis I
drove to S&S and got some produce. Then it was lunch time and I ate and
then read and dozed till 12:30.1 have a new woman author Shelby Hearon
and I was reading Group Therapy. I finished it and reread parts of it
today. Went to the Discovery Shop to work. Don brought in our ironing
board to sell. It was a really quiet afternoon but I think we made quite
a bit of money. I didn't stay to ? Out. Don came to pick me up and he
found two shirts that he bought for $2 each. I got a pair of lavender
knit slacks for 75 cents and a long sleeved white knit top with red
stripes ($1.00) and four dark brown napkins 50 cents for dinner we had
chili, french bread, a green salad and a fruit plate of cantaloupe,
grapes, and pineapple chunks. Then the news. Jackie Onassis is dying of
lymphoma cancer and she is only 64 years old. The law and order people
are wanting to try juveniles (14+) as adults and they will be sent to
regular prison with adults. All the news was bad but then it usually is.
Don is depressed and I don't know what to do to make him feel better. It
was chilly all day without much sun, mostly dark clouds. I am weary
tonight and since I just finished a book I didn't think I will start
another one till tomorrow so I am going to bed. Niki went swimming with
Kasey at her Club the North Valley one and Niki just got back (on time)
and she said she had a good time with her friend. I haven't the foggiest
idea what she will go to have for dinner tomorrow. Every night before I
go to bed it is the same story. Well I guess I will come up with
something.
May 20
Well today the sun shone all day and it got warm finally and how nice
that was! I read the
88
papers and then early on I did the ironing. Don took Niki to the club and
then she called saying that Valerie was going to take her deriving test
so Don went to pick her up and take her to school. Sometimes I think that
he has way too much to do. He is forever taking Niki to and from some
place. She always wants to talk to him about coming and going. Another
person came to work on the computer with Don. First I went for my walk
and stopped at Walgreens to pick up finger nail polish because it was on
sale and then when I got back I drove to the Discovery Shop to pick up my
jacket I had left there. So then I fixed lunch and after we ate I changed
into grungies and dug up all the iris by the shed which I will take to
Alice tomorrow. I transplanted a star jasmine in the middle of the area
and raked out all the guck. I think tomorrow I will move the gardenias to
the South yard where they will have more shade. Then I raked up some
leaves and finally I was done. Bill came and mowed and everything looks
so nice again. He didn't come last week because of the rain. Niki went to
Sandy's and she has not called so we don't know if she will stay there
for the night or come back here. I made oatmeal cookies in the middle of
the afternoon. Dinner was very simple. I made cheese sandwiches with
chips and pickles. I made tomato soup (from a can) and made a milk shake
for don. Kind of a weird combo but good. We watched the news that was
mainly about Jackie Onassis who died last night. Then we went for a walk.
Bill fertilized so we had to water right away and now we are on the last
one. I called Lin this morning and talked to her quite a while. She was
fine. I washed my hair and picked it up and I have been reading. It was a
nice day and how wonderful to have the sun out.
May 21
It is 9 p.m. and I am yawning again and again. I find that I am more
tired lately. Am I working harder or is my eczema worse? It is hard to
say up at 5 and before I picked up Mary I did my mile walk to the end of
North Avenue and back. Not anything exciting at Food for Less but I got a
lot of stuff at the Cannery and at the Food Market the first string beans
were there. Naturally I bought some. Well Steve is at Twin Oaks and Mary
is alone and seems to be doing ok. She gave my some beautiful bing and
Queen Ann cherries. I must give her some cookies tomorrow when we go to
church. After I put all the groceries away and while Don sunbathed I went
to Holiday and got two chickens. Froze one and will cook the other one
tomorrow. Niki never came home. She asked Don to take her some clothes
and a bathing suit and so they must have gone swimming and then Valerie
had a party at Chuckie Cheese and she went to that and then she just
called to say she was back at Sandy's. After lunch I moved the three
gardenia plants to the South yard where they will be more shaded. I have
decided to have good sturdy bushes in the North yard border and forget
about it. Now I wonder if I should have the lilac bush in the North yard
because it is supposed to be in full sun. We called Jenny and she is in
her new house and she sounded better than she has for a long time. She
has a new fridge, she loves her stove that is gas. Her kitchen sounds
nice with wood cabinets, Formica counter tops etc. she plans to have a
garden. Well she just sounded up this time. We went to S&S and got more
89
cantaloupe and tomatoes and I made Don a bacon and tomato sandwich and I
made mine with ham. Watched the news, more about Jackie because the
funeral is Monday. I read tonight, I may decide to plant the desk where
my typewriter is to match the chair. Don was cross with me this afternoon
and then he told me when we went for a walk that he has stopped smoking
again. How many times can he torment himself I wonder. I will try hard to
understand but I really don't. I just wish I could start again I miss at
so much.
May 22
Up at 5. I took Excedrin PM so I slept well. Read the paper and got out
coupons and then got dressed and was ready for church. I wore my flowered
skirt and a black knit top. We picked up Mary and I brought her some
oatmeal cookies. When we got home I changed my clothes and walked the
Mall walk and stopped at K-Mart and found some plants I wanted so when I
got home I got the car and went back. I got two photonio or something
like that and a star jasmine and a petite crepe mytile and a honeysuckle
plant for Cathy. So then I got home and got to work on the dinner. I cut
up the chicken and sauted, peeled the potatoes, cooked the green beans
and fixed the grape fruit for the salad. Ate my lunch and then worked
outside and I did all kinds of things. I moved the lilac from the South
yard to the North yard. Put the crepe mytile where the lilac had been.
Then I put the two phatina in the North yard with the jasmine between. I
moved the camellia which was by the shed where the gardenia had been. Are
you still with me? Now I just hope they all survive. Don has stopped
smoking and so things are different. I find it hard to be tolerant every
time but I will try. Niki has been gone since Friday. Finally Don picked
her up at 5. Well she had gone to Valeries' party at Chucky Cheese on
Saturday night and she went to the band concert Friday night. Well it is
certainly more fun doing all that than being with us. After dinner we
watched the news and then we went for a walk. So now here I am at 10:25
and watching City Slickers and I should be in bed. Best that I go.
May 23
Up at 5 and today it was really mild. I think maybe the cold weather is
over. I hope so. Did my exercises, woke Niki, had a bowl of cereal, read
the paper in still all about Jackie day was her funeral and then from New
York City she was flown to Arlington Cemetery to lay beside JFK. Don went
off to play tennis and I started watering the lawn. Then I washed the
bedroom and living room windows in the apartment and will do the blinds.
I also love to put them down and in the fall roll them back up. When Don
got back I walked to Safeway to get cottage cheese some really good
pumpernickel bread and some lettuce. We had lunch and there although I
had planned to start back at Stars today I decided to postpone it for
another week. I just realized that Thursday I am having people for dinner
so starting tomorrow I should start to get some things done. I am not
terribly excited about this. I made a potato salad, thawed hamburger
patties, fixed pea pods, and fixed strawberries to put on ice cream. I
did a little reading. Niki's order from Victoria Secret came. The dress
fits her but is makes her look like a matron. She seemed pleased
90
with it so I couldn't say anything but for $69 I think she could have
done better, then there was a brassiere and some panties so the whole
thing came to $108 and I just don't think it was a wise buy. If only she
would be willing to listen to some suggestions. I was checking and DMV
says she has to have had driver Ed or be taking it to get a learner's
permit. Since she won't go to summer school she is going to have to wait
quite awhile before she can drive. Linda called and suggested I check at
churches to see if they need volunteers for daycare during the summer.
Probably a good idea but as Don [pointed] out they would probably choose
their own children from the congregation. After dinner I got dressed to
go to the Board of Governors meeting at 7 which lasted till 20 to 9. When
I got home Don was watching a movie with Bruce Willis that sounded so
violent and vulgar that I don't want to even listen to it. So I will read
for awhile then go to bed.
May 24
It is 9:15 p.m and I am weary but then I have been tired since lunch
time. We got up at 5. After the papers Don went to play tennis and I went
out and watered the transplants in the North yard and pulled up a few
more violets. I wonder if I will ever get them all out of the border?
Then I washed the apartment glass door in the apartment and then I washed
it outside of the living room windows. Since no one smokes in the house
any more the window stays a lot cleaner. Then I got dressed in between
clothes and walked to Lucky to by whipped cream so I can make a chocolate
mousse tomorrow for Thursday. I woke up in the night thinking about the
mens and decided to make turkey hot dish, a green salad, a big fruit
plate and either rolls or french bread and then the mousse. When I got
home I ate lunch and then I ironed. I am taking back some clothes I have
been keeping but I don't wear them and so I am taking them back. I didn't
spend much on them so I don't mind. I work again on Friday and will take
them then. I made a really good chicken salad for dinner and a very good
stir fry and hot rolls. Then Niki called to say she was to be picked up
at 7 so we went ahead and ate. Watched local and national news. Jackie is
now no longer in the news. They will doing a week long study of the woman
are treated by men doctors. And the fact that they get short shift most
of the time and I work being that. Don picked up the girls and Sandy and
Niki came to eat dinner. There was some left over plus some potato salad
and some chili so there was enough for them. Then Don and I went for a
walk. Don took Sandy home. Now Don is watching a movie. Tomorrow and
Thursday are going to be busy so best that I go to bed early and get
plenty of sleep. I still have to write to Pauline and Jenny.
May 25
It is 8:20 p.m. and as I sit in my favorite chair in the living room I
don't need the light on. Strange to thing that in December one needs the
lights on at 5 p.m. we got up at 5; Niki did not make it to the club
today but stayed in bed till 6:45. By 7:30 I was on my way to Alice's
with my black and white polka dress from the "Missionary Barrel." She is
going to narrow the shoulder seams and take some of the puff out of the
sleeves. I also feel so
91
comfortable with Alice, far more so that with Priss. From there I went to
Walgreens to get dull things like dental tape, etc. then home. Don came
back from tennis early and I went to Holiday, S&S and Lucky to get things
on sale that I need for tomorrow's dinner. For example, mushrooms for the
turkey hot dish among other things. By then it was lunch time so I ate
and then walked to the library for my weekly stint. Since there is still
water over the spillway it the overpass I took to plastic bags and two
rubber bands and put them over my shoes when I got there, walked through
and took them off after and didn't get my shoes wet. Don picked me up
with Niki, Sandy and Sarah in the car. He dropped me off and took them
over to Sandy's. They were going by bike to swim. I fixed a simple dinner
with leftovers and corn on the cob for Don. Linda called. She has had
trouble sleeping for the last 10 nights so instead of going to Seattle
with Craig who is racing she decided to come down her and relax and try
very hard to sleep! She said she also wanted to be coddled and taken care
of and I will do my best. So she will be tomorrow and stay till Monday.
It will be great. The silver dollar fair is this weekend and Niki will be
wanting to go to that and wants extra money naturally. The girls rode
over on their bikes and we were watching the news so they cooked their
dinner and I didn't intrude. After they were done I made a chocolate
mousse. I wish I had had my hair trimmed today. It is too long and
driving me crazy. Tomorrow will be a busy day. Well at least I cleaned
the three bathrooms tonight.
May 26
Well, today was the big dinner party and thank goodness it was a success.
We got up at the usual time and suddenly it was much cooler than
yesterday and even a bit cloudy to begin with but it cleared early on.
Don went to a farm near Orland from 9 - 11:30 to sit with a man while the
caretaker went to the doctor. This was for Hospice, a one shot deal.
While he was gone I made two hot dishes (turkey) did the salad greens,
arranged the flowers and since I was using the deep blue place mats I
used the blue and white basket for the centerpiece. I had made the mousse
yesterday so the dessert was don. I shampooed, set my hair, showered, and
dusted and neated things up. When Don got home we had lunch and then he
napped and I set the table with the sterling. Linda arrived at about 2
and so I helped her unload the car. She has had trouble sleeping and she
looked tired but cheerful and funny as always. So then Don picked up Niki
and later the two of them Linda and Niki went shopping and then to eat at
the Sizzler. I wore my white skirt and long pink sweater with white
shoes. The Bayles, Heins & Marklands came. So I had the turkey hot dish,
hot french bread, a huge green salad, a fruit plate: cherries, kiwi, red
and green grapes, cantaloupe and chocolate mousse and tiny little cookies
for dessert. Everyone ate very well and they all seemed to like what they
had so I felt it was a success and the conversation was stimulating so
now that it is over I am glad I did it. Tomorrow I work at the Discovery
Shop and I will have to think of something for dinner tomorrow night. I
suppose I had better go to bed but after a party it is hard for me to
come back to regular routine. Daisy was a big hit with everyone
especially with Murray. They offered
92
to take her if we went somewhere.
May 27
Had trouble sleeping so got up and went to TV room and slept on lounge.
Felt like when I was pregnant with Jenny and like done on our Salvation
Army lounge in New York. Got up at usual time and made breakfast and then
after my exercises and the paper Linda woke up and we went for a walk at
about 9 and stopped at Longs and then at Lucky for papaya and corn. When
I got home the phone rang and it was Phil telling me that last night
Pauline had a heart attack and was in the hospital. Had gone to lunch,
had not felt well and then in the evening had ha?? Stew that made her
ill. She vomited etc. and finally they went to the Emergency when there
Don offered at want she then found out that she had had a heart attack. I
was stunned. Told Phil I did check after he had been to the hospital in
the afternoon. Went to the Discovery Shop to work. Dull afternoon but we
ended up making $72. I took on approval a Liz Claiborne top in pale gray
pink sweat shirt type of thing petite for $1.00 fits perfectly and I love
it. It was got a navy top for 75 cents. Priss called in mad more and she
is back and had a good time but says she would not go again for so long.
Talked about 45 minutes. I did not call her back in the evening well
start that tomorrow. Had made a tuna salad in the morning and chucked
corn, thawed some rolls so dinner was easy when I got home. Called Phil
and Pauline had asked for crossword puzzles, the New Yorkers etc. So she
is better. Then I called the hospital and talked to her. She is attached
to a lot of stuff: the food is terrible and she has to stay at least a
week. But she sounded up and Dave and Ann had called and wanted to know
if they should come before the 11th of June as planned and she said she
would rather they waited till then because she will be out of the
hospital etc. So it sounds as if things are going to be ok. She will have
to be careful of her diet and take it easy. Poor dear-first Parkinson
disease and now this and Phil who was supposed to be the candidate for a
heart attack is fine. She said the doctor asked her if she realized that
she had a heart murmur and she said no but I seem to remember that she
had one as a child. I did not remind her of that. So now it is 9:15 p.m.
Linda showed me her exercise and I did them and I must work on them.
Jenny wrote and sent pictures of her house which seems very fine, brick,
slate roof, lots of grass. She sounded thrilled. What a day!
May 28
Up at 5 and did my mile by 7:10. How wonderful now that the weather is
finally warm and it is light so much earlier. I went to the Food Market
and got green beans, sugar peas (I found out when I got home that I had
left them there) damn. Fresh little cukes. Then onto Food for Less and
the Cannery. Since Mary wasn't with me I finished much earlier. I didn't
spend too much money this week. I didn't call my sister today. I plan to
call her tomorrow morning when I get home from church. I decided not to
grow every day. But I will try to write her more often. Niki called
saying that they had gotten up and that she would be just hanging around
with Sandy. Later Linda called and told her we were having
93
the fancy steaks Craig and Linda had gave us at Christmas. I thawed them
and they were gorgeous. Then I bought little tiny red potatoes I just
boiled them and I made a big green salad and we had hot french bread. The
trouble is that I am eating too much and we still have Sunday and Monday
to few meals. It is strange but when we have people staying over I always
gain weight! Linda and I walked after dinner and that helped a little
bit. I called Priss and heard more about her trip. I realize it was great
having a reprieve from calling. I feel bad about that but it is the
truth. Linda and Niki are watching Mrs. Doubtfire with Robin Williams.
Don is in the bedroom watching a war movie. He and I would like to make
love but it is very difficult these nights and though we did it when the
kids were little we managed somehow but now we find it more difficult. I
should have written to Jenny today but didn't get to it. So now tomorrow
I must write to both Jenny and Pauline. Linda has promised to make dinner
tomorrow night and I hope she will do it.
May 29
We picked up Mary and went to church. She seemed confused this morning
and a bit irrational. She is tired and worried and strange. But that is
not new. When I got home I changed my clothes and defrosted the freezer.
Don took Linda to have a cappuccino. I thought that was nice. I had my
lunch, read a bit and dozed a bit and then wrote a letter to Jenny. I had
not written last week so it was good that I wrote today. Linda offered to
make a Mexican dinner. Niki went to Sandy's and they went swimming and
then came here and since they were both going to be here for dinner they
helped Linda. It was Mexican and I loved it. Frijitas: a tortilla,
refried beans, Spanish rice, little pieces of chicken, tomatoes hopped,
lettuce chopped, onions and ranch dressing. I thought they were just
great and what a luxury to sit in the living room while someone else
cooked. Afterwards we watched the news and I folded clothes. Niki asked
if she could spend the night with Sandy and we said yes since we have not
had a night to just us for a long time. Then I called Priss and read her
an article from the front page of E-R-which Cathy talked about 4-H and
how it had helped her three daughters. I was so impressed. Then Linda and
I went for a walk. It was hot today and it felt good to come home and
drink a lot of cold water. I called my sister this morning and she is
going to be moved to a room out of coronary care and she was sitting in a
chair and she hopes to go home soon. Craig called Linda to say there had
been a crash on the race track. A girl got a skull fracture and a man got
both legs broken and to avoid hitting the two involved Craig ran into a
wall and is battered and bruised but ok. Linda spent three hours with
Mary and Steve and it was pretty grim. He is angry, swears and is very
aggressive. She hits him and shouts at him and it was a real mess. Linda
came home very upset. Don took Niki and Sandy over to the Smiths. We had
drinks on the patio and then went to bed and made love and it was great.
And then to sleep.
May 30
It is going on 10 p.m. and I am about ready to go to bed. It has been a
strange day. I really
94
didn't do very much. I have nothing to show for it. We got up at 5. I did
my exercises and ate my bowl of cereal, had Suka, read the paper and then
went for my mile walk. It was still cool and very pleasant. When I got
home Linda was up and we visited. I cut a lot of roses and changed all
the flowers and then the day got hot and by evening most of them were
wilted. I had planned to go to Lucky for papaya but then I postponed and
when it got hot it no longer appealed to me. Tomorrow morning I must iron
clothes and then I have to work at the Discovery Shop again. I am
rounding up clothes that I never wear and some I am putting aside for the
church rummage sale and some I will take with me tomorrow when I go to
work at the Discovery Shop. No mail delivered today because it was a
holiday. I worked outside for awhile after lunch and I keep read 500
Scorpions by Shelly Hearon. Don called Jenny and she is coming this month
because John Colm is dying or so he says and so she has missed her trip
up. I think this is a mistake but it is not my place to say anything. Don
did and Linda told him off. Mike called returning Linda's message on the
on the answering machine. He and Karen are still together but it sounds
temporary. They are having a big party for Emma's birthday so I guess
they are not going to separate right away. She told him since Karen wants
to end it all that she should be the one to move out and not him. I
agree. Made stir fry, green salad, hot rolls and brownies for dinner. I
talked to Priss on the phone but somehow it was not the same. We didn't
seem to have anything to say to each other. Maybe it will get better.
When Don picked up Niki this afternoon he told her about John [ ? ] and
she burst into tears. She didn't eat dinner with us but slept. Maybe that
was her way of handling the situation. Linda leaves tomorrow. I love
having her but I was realize that we are set in our ways and we like our
routine. Well it is 10 p.m. and now I will go to bed.
May 31
It is 8:30 and I am already yawning but then I put in four miles today
and I haven't been doing that well lately. Up at 5 and by 6:15 I did my
mile walk on North Avenue. Then it was the paper and pretty soon I got my
money together and walked to Lucky route to buy two papayas. The were
very nice and only $2.39 and they have been 3.00 at Food for Less lately.
When I got back Linda was just about all packed up and ready to leave so
we said goodbye and then I went into high gear and did a load of clothes
washing the bedding in the apartment and then I ironed all the things
that were from former washings. I hung the sheets outside because the
wind was blowing and it was beautiful for drying. Speaking of the wind it
blew like crazy in the night and Daisy got very nervous and stayed right
beside us all night and has followed us around all day. Finally she is
better tonight. I shaved my legs, bathed, shampooed and set my hair so
after lunch I was ready to go to the Discovery Shop. Peggy Sever was
alone in the back room and I helped her a lot but we were finally busy to
so the time went fast. I brought home a romper affair, he sweater, a pair
of shorts and nothing looked right but I didn't mind because that means I
will not spend any money. Don picked me up at 4 and when I got home I got
busy and started making dinner when Niki informed me that it was Nicole
VanRossum's birthday and she was having
95
dinner with her at Tortilla Flate [ ? ] that [ ? ]. So Don and I had
cheese sandwiches, I finished up the stir fry and Don ate all leftover
green salad from last night and we had chips. There were brownies too so
we did right. Then there was the news but I got bored and left. Then I
called Priss. Somehow she seems different. I think maybe she has jet lag
but she says she doesn't. After that we went for a walk. That was after
7. Niki still had not been picked up but when we got back she was gone.
So we have been reading since then. It was nice having Linda here but now
it is a case of the child telling the parent what to do instead of the
other way around and it takes some getting used to. And in ten days Jenny
will be arriving and she too will able to not more that we do. Well I
guess it happens to everyone.
June 1
Up at 5. Not too cool but very pleasant. After my cereal and Suka and the
Chronicle I walked to the end of North Avenue and back. Then I went
outside and sprayed the roses for mildew and brown spot. Then I read the
E-R. After that I walked to Safeway to get cottage cheese, a croissant
for don and some leaf lettuce. I watered the plants inside and out and
found out when I did the roses I worked over and the gardenias were in
bloom. I was so thrilled because I had just moved them a short time ago
and I worried that they might not bloom at all. Then it was time to eat
lunch and I walked to the library and did my two-hour stint. So by then I
had walked about 4 1/2 miles. I felt fine except that I must have pulled
a muscle in my right arm because it really hurts. I see Dr. Foltz
tomorrow at 11 and I will tell him about it. Don picked me up at 15 to 3
and we stopped at Holiday so I could buy strawberries. I had some iced
tea when I got home and then I did the salad greens, cut the thawed
French bread, and had the spaghetti sauce ready to heat. So that was our
dinner with ice cream and/or yogurt with strawberries over it. Then I got
dressed in my white long skirt and a long gray-pink sweater white shoes,
etc. We got to Fairview at 6 and I checked in since I was giving a
scholarship to Shon Thao for $500. We stayed till 7:30. Lots of crying,
lots of sweet thoughts expressed. It is a big family affair and rather
touching. There was a lot of money given away too and that was nice. When
we got home we found Niki had gone to Sandy's. I changed my clothes and I
walked the mile again so I went over 5 miles today. Ed Mizel called and
this is all hush-hush but he may be selling the business and they will
probably live more and more in Arizona. So now I will go back to my book.
June 2
So this was a real dull day with very little to show for it. We got up at
the usual time and did the usual things. At 7:30 I walked to Alice's. My
dress is finished. This is the one with the black polka dots and she
remade the sleeves so they were not as puffed. She asks $6 an hour so I
paid her that amount because that was what she asked for. Came home and
changed the flowers. I had done nothing else and that was really part of
the stress of the day. Don went at 10:40 to take his written test at the
DMV and he passed so that is
96
out of the way. Then I went to Dr. Foltz at 11:45 and that went ok.
Nothing much wrong with me. I just wanted to check things out. Came home
and Don took a nap and I went to S&S and Holiday. I got green and red
grapes, oranges, strawberries, etc. Then I put plant food on the roses.
So there isn't much to report. Niki stayed after school till 3:15 and
then she wanted to go shopping with Nicole Van Rossum's so Don took them
to the Chico Mall. It is very hard to cook for three people when the
third one is seldom here at meal time. I opened a small can of salmon and
put it on the bread with sliced onions, heated the Spanish rice leftover
for when Linda was here. I had gotten corn at Holiday and it was good.
Just had plain strawberries for dessert, watched some of the news, called
Pauline and she is home. Must walk five minutes a day for a week then 10
etc. she had a angiogram or something like that where they blow up a
balloon inside. David was there and the other two sons will be coming
soon. Talked briefly to Linda. Craig is sore but ok. She had talked
briefly to Mike. Nothing much new on that front. Don wants a cigarette
desperately. Got a letter from Jenny today, very depressing, all about
John Colm. He is dying and that is why she is coming earlier than
planned. I am tired tonight but then that is not unusual. I think I will
go to bed early.
June 3
Well in some ways this day was different. Got up at 5, got Don's
breakfast, did my exercises, read the papers and then walked to Safeway
to buy a loaf of pumpernickel that is so good. When I got home I picked
roses, changed all the flowers, and then vacuumed the kitchen and living
room. I did a load of clothes - darks - and folded them setting aside
those to be ironed. Don went with Carl to eat breakfast with Bob Rankin
and Sierra Sunrise. When I got back Don said the food was terrible. Then
Priss came and brought me a pretty red scarf and two little figures from
Provence. Then when she left I went to Stars, the first time since April
18! When I arrived Amy found me and gave me a hug and was so glad to see
me and the kids were the same way. It made me feel good and it was great
to have the workout again. I think I will continue to go back. When I got
home I ate lunch and then I decided to make bread so I did that and when
Don went to meet a new Hospice patient I dozed in my chair for a bit.
Niki had to stay after school to make up time for her tardies in Math so
he picked her up at 3:15. For dinner I had thawed part of a turkey breast
so I made sandwiches, fixed squaw corn and sliced tomatoes. Niki said she
wasn't hungry. She talked on the phone for a long time and then nothing
happened so something must have been wrong but naturally she didn't say
anything. Usually on Friday night she had big plans. As Don said we worry
about her when she goes out and then we worry and feel bad for her when
she doesn't have anyone to go out with. I hope tomorrow will be better
for her. Linda called saying that Jason had called wanting to know about
her that Mary's lawyer sent him. I didn't know anything about it. Then
Jenny called and she talked to Niki and then she was all sad about John.
I can see her visit here is not going to be a cheerful one. Then Mike
called and he said he would go on with Karen through the summer but he
wasn't very optimistic and there lake is dried up and so the value of the
97
house will go down. Gloom and doom!
June 4
Well it is 10 p.m. and I have just had two drinks my favorite vodka and
tonic. We sat outside in the back yard on a lovely star studded evening
and talked. Niki has gone with Nicole to spent the night in Cohosset with
Sckyler so we are by ourselves. It has been a quite uneventful day.
Started out this morning with my mile walk and then at 7:15 I picked up
Mary. At the Market I got apricots, green beans and cukes and then on to
Food for Less where I spent $35 but didn't get anything that was really
interesting. At the Cannery it was much the same. Nothing worth
mentioning. Home here I put everything away and then went to the Mall to
get foam rubber paint brushes to do the desk that my typewriter sits on
but I didn't do it today but might tomorrow. Wrote a letter to my sister.
Dozed a little in my chair as I read. Watered plants, picked roses,
really didn't do anything of note today. For dinner I fixed a mixed
veggie salad: peas, beans, red and green peppers, corn in vinegar and
oil. Cooked a chocolate cake that we put whipped cream on. Niki stayed
home all day. I worry about her. And then just before dinner she said she
and Nicole were going to spend the night with Sckyler in Cohosset. All
this was news to me and I wanted to say what about Sandi but didn't. Oh
the complications of being 15 years old. For dinner I had a platter with
sliced turkey, sliced tomatoes, cheese, pickles etc. the veggie salad,
bread, the chocolate cake. We walked in the afternoon and again after
dinner. Watched the news, mostly about D-Day. Walked again after dinner.
Wrote to my sister. Mary Y. called won't be going to church tomorrow and
we probably won't be going either. No Niki, no Mary, maybe we will just
sit home and be lazy. What a nice change that would be for a Sunday. Then
we had a drink and I had a vodka-tonic and Don had a bourbon and water.
Then we talked and then we went to bed and made wonderful love. How lucky
we are!
June 5 - Mary called saying she didn't want to go to church so we stayed
home, too.
Woke up to a cold windy, dark day. Well later the sun came out but still
it was very chilly. Read the papers, picked roses, did the ironing and
then after 10 a.m. Longs were open. Don and I walked over there and got
B6 and B50. When we got back we had lunch and then Don took a nap and I
read a mystery called After all [ ? ] Else book that Linda thought I
would like. It is funny but at times just a bit too precious. Still I
will finish it. I had bought some short ribs so I made a stew out of it
and did the salad greens. Niki called. She was at the VanRossum's and
decided that she would call to be picked up but then she called and said
they had invited her to dinner. She got back at 8 and was so tired that
she went to bed at 8:30. Tomorrow they have a different schedule because
every class has 2-hour exams so she wants to be wakened at 8:15 and then
she has to be there at 9. Watched the news - all about D-day 50 years ago
and then I called Priss and she talked for 35 minutes. Then I went for a
walk and now I am going to read for awhile. I worry a little about Daisy
because she is reacting to doors slamming or the wind or something that
we
98
don't know about. She is nervous - follows us everywhere and at night
sleeps right by our bed. We don't know what to think. Jenny will be here
in the US on Saturday but I don't know how long she will be in San
Francisco with John. I suppose because of Hospice and because of our age
we take death a little more calmly that our children do. Then too when we
were young there was the war and we both knew so many people who were
killed then. So we have had experiences that so far our children have not
had and maybe that is why to us they seem to be over reacting. But they
have not had the same experiences. Tomorrow I go back to Stars again I
hope if the car is available. It is cloudy tonight still windy and chilly
and where is summer weather?
June 6
I have certainly done a lot of crying lately. With all the D-Day
ceremonies I keep wiping my eyes and now at 10 p.m. I have just finished
watching the Body Guard with Kevin Costner and Whitney Houston and I
cried some more. Enough already. Not a very exciting day except the man
did come and put the new door in the study. It looks very nice and was
very expensive - well over $600. It was very cloudy and cold when we woke
up and when I did the Mall walk it even rained a bit but then it cleared
off. Don went to see his new Hospice patient and I poached some chicken
in the oven for the chicken salad I will serve tomorrow to Kathleen and
Barbara my Bidwell friends. I went to Stars and it was great. I feel so
good after I go there. I really missed it. When I got back I had my
lunch, finished the book I was reading and napped a bit in my chair. Don
picked Niki up at 2:15 because they are on a different schedule this
week. I had an easy time with dinner. Last nights stew, cukes and
tomatoes and bread. Don and I went for a walk after the news and after I
talked to Priss, Linda called, concerned about Jason because no one
answers the phone in Santa Cruz. So tomorrow they are going to call over
to California from Nevada and ask an operator to see if there is
something wrong with the phone there. Tomorrow we vote so we will be up
early since Don also wants to be one of the first to vote. Then I will
have to do the flowers, maybe make some cookies etc. etc. Don will be
going to his luncheon group at Jackie's so that works out well, and I
hope to have enough salad to serve at night. Maybe I will even make some
cookies! It doesn't seem [ ? ] that Jenny will be coming this weekend
though not right here for a few days but she will be in San Francisco. I
keep saying this every day. I wonder how she will get along with Niki.
Best that I go to bed.
June 7
It is 9:30 p.m. Don is in bed and Niki is trying to sleep in the
apartment. We got up at 5:15 and I fixed Don's breakfast and then did my
exercises and before I realized it was almost 7 and today we voted so I
rushed to get dressed. There were no people waiting when we got there and
we were 2 and 3 on the list. Then I went on to the end of North Avenue to
get my mile in. When I got home I did all the flowers, dusted and then
got to work on lunch. I woke Niki and she wanted to go to the Sports Club
and Don had already
99
gone to play tennis so I took her but thank goodness Don got back before
she was supposed to be picked up to get to school so he did it. I did the
first part of the chicken salad and made the dressing to put on at the
last minute. I fixed a fruit plate of cherries, cantaloupe, red and green
grapes, apricots and kiwi. I set the table with the green and pink
flowered mats and had a large beautiful bouquet of pink roses and
eucalyptus. Then I made chocolate cookies with chocolate frosting. Don
went off to his lunch at Jackie's and Barbara and Kathleen came at 12. We
had a wonderful time. They are so easy to talk to and I think they really
like me and feel comfortable with me. We talked about growing old and
retiring and the difference between men and women and the problems that
this [ ? ] at times. Then they had to leave and pretty soon Don came
home. I fed the dog and washed clothes. I wasn't hungry for dinner so I
had my cottage cheese, orange and raisin dinner and Don had bacon eggs
and toast with some of the fruit. Niki called and Don picked her up and
she wanted eggs and I made the mistake of scrambling them and she didn't
want that so we will have that for lunch tomorrow so I fried hers plain.
Watched the news, called Priss and she talked for over half an hour. Then
we went for a walk and when I got back I put on my gown and went over to
the apartment and ironed for about 50 minutes but got everything done.
Niki is getting a cold and she feels lousy but she has one more test and
she is going to breakfast with Kasey so I doped her up and we will hope
for the best.
June 8
Up at 5 after a restless night. When I stay in bed too long I get all
stiff and sore but once I have been up for a while and move around I am
ok. Strange. Well anyway Don went off to tennis and Don took Niki to
school and I went for a walk. I watered all the plants and cleaned the
two bathrooms. I will do the apartment once I know when Jenny will be
arriving. I boiled the two ears of corn and made squaw corn to heat
tonight for dinner and I fixed the salad (chicken). At 11 I left for
Stars and had a good workout. Got home, had lunch and walked to the
library. There were a lot of cards today but I changed typewriters and
the time went fast. Don picked me up at a little after 3. Niki had called
from school saying that she didn't feel well and wanted to be picked up
but when Don picked her up Sandy was with her and they wanted to go to
Sandy's. I was furious. She had left school because she was sick and then
went off and didn't call to come home till late in the afternoon. I think
Don is too easy on her. I made a mistake [ ? ]. He didn't take her to
school. Kasey picked her up and they went to breakfast. She said she
needed money for that and I gave her $2 and she said that wasn't enough
so I gave her another $1 and Don gave her $1 or $2. Every time we turn
around she is asking for money. Well anyway Don took me to the Big 5
because they were advertising athletic shoes but I couldn't find anything
in my size so we gave up. On the was home suddenly his wounds really
began to bother him and he was in agony. He took a pill and lay down. We
ate dinner, watched the news and then I went for a walk and stopped at
Packy's to give her Gone to Soldiers by Marge Piercy because I finally
got it at the library. Talked to Priss for half an hour. Then
100
at 8 we watched La Boheme. It was an Australian production done at the
Opera House in Sydney and it was very very good. The cast was made up of
young, good looking people who fitted the parts and they did a marvelous
job. Then Don went to bed. Niki was picked up by Zack and she and Nicole
were going to do an extra credit deal for history at this late date or so
she said. So now it is 10:30 and I guess I will go to bed.
June 9
Neither of us slept particularly well but then when it was time to get up
we had both fallen back to sleep. But we did get up at 5:20. I did my
exercises and after Don left for tennis. I pinned up my hair and got
everything out and since Don had already moved the little desk out to the
South deck I laid out the newspapers and began painting the desk the same
dark brown as the chair. It wasn't all that hard and by 9:30 I was done
with it. It was already getting to be hot and there was a strong wind so
I knew it would dry quickly. I took a shower and then made a potato
salad. Then I walked to the Mall. I had some small errands to do and then
I went to Mervyns to try on athletic shoes but they did not have my size
in the ones I liked so I came on home. By then Don had had his lunch so I
ate mine and then read till it was time to have Don take me to the
Discovery Shop. By then it had gotten really hot. It was 98 degrees today
in Chico and I believe it. Business was very slow today. I don't think we
made $50. I bought two glasses and a white plate that matches my every
day dishes and I took some stuff on approval but most of them didn't fit.
I will keep the slacks and the ones for Don but that is all I think. I
helped Betty Pyle in the back room. But the problem was that I decided to
move my desk back into the study and I hurt my right arm again just when
I thought it was all well and now it hurts worse than before. I helped
measure slacks and then put the information on the pants. Really the time
didn't drag for me because I was busy. We stopped at the fruit stand and
got things and then I made sandwiches, heated some green beans and with
the potato salad that was our dinner. I made chocolate sauce and had some
on yogurt. Watched the news, talked to Priss and Don and I went for a
walk. Our lives follow a pattern and are certainly predictable. And dull
I might add. Niki is here with Sandy and two other girls. I don't know
what their plans are.
June 10
This has been a long dull, painful day. I did sleep better last night
because I took two Excedrin PM's. That helped. I think now I have a yeast
infection but I will get something for that tomorrow. I did my regular
exercises but skipped the weights for the arms because my right arm is
terribly painful. I decided not to go to Stars but I called and told them
to tell Amy because they need bodies to keep the class going. I went by
car to Safeway to get five pounds of flour, sugar, ground round on sale
and grapes. I came home and made ten hamburger patties to freeze. I
dusted, vacuumed the kitchen and changed all the flowers, a futile
gesture since it was so hot today (about 100) and 106 in Redding and the
roses folded by noon. I guess I will stick to day lilies since there [ ?
] alone says it all.
101
I dozed in my chair and read a little and dozed again. I don't know why I
am so tired. I didn't walk at all today and that is most unusual. Don
told me he weighs 120 pounds! That is terrible. I made him a huge milk
shake this afternoon. Niki came home for a short time right in the
afternoon. We went to the Red Lobster for dinner and mine was very good:
shrimp fixed two ways and a small grilled chicken breast and salad, etc.
I ate two bites. Naturally Niki had the most expensive thing crab and a
Pina Collada -sp? At 1 p.m. I got my hair cut by Tricia. I think she did
a pretty good job. At least it is shorter and I like that. Talked to
Priss for awhile. Called Linda and she had seen the doctor and she put
her on a new Rx for sleep and she is to take it for 20 days and hopefully
that will break the no sleep pattern. Don took Niki and Sandi to the band
concert and Niki just called to say they would take the bus home back to
Sandi's. She can't do that all summer. We must talk to her. Had drinks
and made love. Not right for Don this time. Ok for me.
June 11
We got up at 5 and it was already warm. I raced through my exercises and
the paper and walked my mile early and it was just as well that I did
because it got hot all too soon. Picked up Mary at 7:10 and at the Food
Market I got apricots, green beans and cucumbers. Then on to the Food for
Less where I spent $20 and got essentials but nothing interesting. At the
Cannery I got a lot of things and spent about the same amount of money.
Got home and put everything away and then went to Lucky for papayas and
bananas and then to Safeway where I got a pork loin that I will cut up to
use in various ways. Then we washed the car and I did the windows while
Don sunbathed. Then it was lunch time and I took a little nap afterwards.
As did Don. We kept waiting for Jenny to call but she didn't until late
in the afternoon. She sounded tired and said she would call again
tomorrow. I presume when she was not with John because she couldn't say
much in front of him I gathered that she would be coming here about
midweek. No word from Niki all day and then she called to say that they
were barbecuing so would not be home for dinner. Don told her she could
not stay the night tonight and that made her mad but this would be the
third night. So we ate dinner: cold salmon, potato salad, cukes and
tomatoes and I had made an angel food cake so we had that for dessert.
Then the news and then Priss talked for 45 minutes. We then walked to
Walgreens to get $14.99 worth of remedy for my yeast infection. Why do I
keep having it? This means seven days of mess. Yuk! I am sad tonight. Don
is hurt because Jenny is going to stay in San Francisco for so long and
he is upset about Niki. Well I am upset about Niki too. Neither of us
have the courage to talk to her about anything. I realize we are not that
much fun to be around but she ignores us completely except for rides and
money and an occasional meal. I wonder what Jenny will think of all this?
June 12
The day started fine and ended up ugly. I managed a walk before going to
church and I wore the black and white polka dot dress and it looked very
nice but I thought it was a
102
little long so I made it a little shorter when we got home. Mary looked
especially nice this morning in a beige suit. So when we got home I
changed my clothes and worked outside. I cleaned the window in front of
the fence, and then pulled up weeds in the borders but there is a lot
more to do. My right arm is now horribly bruised. It has hurt for a
matter of over a week but why now the bruising? Went in the house and did
the ironing and shortened the polka dot dress, then I made lunch and ate.
Niki came home from Sandy's since she was going to Sacramento to stay
with her Mom for two weeks. She started washing clothes, then Jenny
called and said that Niki wanted to see John so she thought she should
come down on Wednesday and Genieve is coming to Chico on Thursday so she
would bring them both back up here. Don has assumed that he would drive
Niki down and/or that he would pick up Jenny and bring her up here. Well
when Niki talked to her mom she said they were thinking of having her
come by train. Don was upset that Niki would see John when he looks so
terrible and looks so ill but when he heard about the train he flew into
a rage, left for a walk and hasn't been civil since. For dinner I fixed
hamburgers, a green salad, green beans and chips and there was angel food
cake left. Don has been so upset because Niki spent all her time at
Sandy's but tonight he was still so mad that he was not talking at the
table or anywhere else so why does he think that Niki would like being
here. Hell, right now I don't want to be here. I realize that he is
miserable because he can't smoke but he has over-reacted to all this. He
is used to being in charge and he can't handle it when someone else takes
over and does something he does not approve of. If this is the way it is
going to be while Jenny is here it will be very difficult indeed. I just
went about things as if nothing were wrong. I watered dry spots on the
lawn, went for a slow walk alone, took a shower and have been reading.
June 13
Well things are better today. Up at 5 and the usual morning routine.
Cooler than yesterday morning. Did my mile walk and then came home and
got dressed to go to see Dr. Schwartz at 8. He gave me a new Rx lotion
and said there was nothing to indicate skin cancer. When I got home Don
had gone to see his Hospice patient. I fed all the indoor plants and then
I dug a hole and planted the beautiful lily I bought at the Cannery on
Saturday. I got some chili out to thaw, dead headed the roses and kept
busy till 10:30. Don got back very depressed because the man is very ill,
confused, scared, etc. I got ready to go to Stars. When I got there Amy
was the instructor but the [board] said that Joani would be on Wednesday]
& F[riday]. The other ladies decided that if she were they would not show
up and I agreed to do the same. We had a good workout with Amy. Came home
and had lunch. I had promised Niki I would take her shopping but didn't
really want to but she solved the problem by calling Julie and so they
went. Then Don had to take her out to Durham but Julie brought her back.
She bought a pair of black Birkenstocks that look nice and ordered a pair
of shorts or something. Anyway I gave her $80 and it took it all. I had
the chili, french bread I bought when I walked after being at the Doctor
and a fruit plate. Then the news. Linda called because she was lonesome
and
103
all three of us talked to her. Jenny called and Don is to take Niki down
on Thursday and then Genieve will be bringing Niki and Jenny back on
Friday. It is now 10 p.m. Don seems to be over his mad but then he [ ? ]
since she is not going by train and today he got a huge thick book called
Lillibridge's of the World and we are all in it but with some errors. The
wind is blowing now but it was a very pleasant day.
June 14
This has been a rather quiet but pleasant day. My Mother's birthday was
the 14th and she always laughed and said that was why they put all the
flags out. I think she would be 100 if she were alive today. She was a
lovely lady and I still miss her very much. I walked the North Avenue
mile early this morning and then when I got back I used Miracle Gro on
the roses, did a little weeding and fed some of the flowers in the front
yard as well. Woke Niki at 9 and then Don got back from tennis and took
her to the Club. I took a shower, got dressed and walked to the Mall. I
bought three pair of cotton Underoos because I have had the yeast
infection just once too often so I will try them to see if they help. I
looked at clothes and saw some cute slippers to wear in the house Isotoners they were $15 marked down to $1.98. I bought a pair. Then at
Longs I got bronzing jell and a lip liner and then home. Had lunch and
then Don and I went back to the Mall so that I could get slippers for the
girls for Christmas but they did not have the size anymore except for
Linda so I got a pair for her. Will put it away till Christmas. Then we
went to Lucky and got slices of beef, ham and pastrami so since I bought
sandwich buns at the Cannery I made a plate with the meat, tomato slices,
cukes, pickles, cheese, and lettuce and we made our own sandwiches, had
corn chips, three bean salad and a cornstarch pudding. Niki went to the
Chico Mall with Valerie. Watched the news. Don took Niki to Kasey's. They
have moved to a new house. Kasey will bring her home. Don went off to a
Hospice meeting. I called Priss and visited with her and then I went for
my last walk for the day. Before reading the new Digest and am sort of
waiting for Niki to get home Amy called to say she would be teaching the
class at Stars tomorrow so I must go.
June 15
We got up at 5:30 and I spent a profitable morning though I didn't walk.
I did my exercises but skipped the weight lifting part because my right
arm still bothers me. Cathy said she would stop by after work but she
didn't. Why should I be surprised? She so rarely comes or calls. We are
never invited there so although she is so close we see very little of
her. Don went off to tennis and Niki was still asleep. I went to the
South yard and cut off roses that were full blown and I cut down one bush
that has looked very sick for some time. If it comes back fine. If it
doesn't I won't mind. Then I cut down all the yellow flowers that were
done blooming and tried to get some of the Bermuda against the fence. I
ended up with a huge amount so I put is on an old spread and dragged it
to the garbage can and Don put it in when he came home. Dressed to go to
Stars because Amy called saying she would do it today. There were six of
us and I stayed till the weight
104
lifting and then came home and had lunch and went ot the library. 71
cards today so I spent the whole time typing. Don picked me up. Jenny is
getting a car to use from Rick Cherry who will drive it up to San
Francisco but then she will have to drive him back so Niki will be going
with her and they won't be here till Saturday or Sunday. That is fine
with me. Don and I will have some time alone. I made waffles and sausages
with a fruit plate and some cheese for dinner. Then since the Food Market
is open on Wednesday from 5:30 - 7:30 went to that but the crowd was so
huge we just got some cucumbers and came on home. I don't think I will go
again but will stick to Saturday mornings. Tomorrow I will clean the
apartment and Friday the rest of the house. I did get the fridge
defrosted. It was easy - a piece of cake so to speak. Three more nights
of the stuff for the yeast infection. Priss went to the Museum annual
dinner so I did not call her tonight. I will read and then go to bed.
They will be leaving at 8 a.m.
June 16
So we got up and Don got ready to go to San Francisco and we woke Niki at
7:15 and they left at 8. For awhile I was real angry. Don goes off
somewhere and the rest of the family goes places and always I stay home
to cook, clean, water the lawn and feed the dog. But after awhile I got
busy and I felt better. I did the apartment cleaned the bedroom, scrubbed
the floors, vacuumed the rug, dusted, washed the throw rugs and it all
looks very nice. Jenny called in mid morning saying that she would be
going out with Joseph for a little while and wanted to know when they had
left because she wanted to be there when they arrived. She said things
were pretty "intense" and she was looking forward to seeing Rick Cherry
who was driving up and then they would drive back to Monterey and she and
Niki would be up here either Saturday or Sunday. Then Mike called and we
had a wonderful long talk. He was home with Emma but she was asleep and
he has a ringing in his ear and he had had that test for brain tumor. The
one where you are put in a case and they take all these pictures and it
is very confining and scary. But he is ok thank goodness. We talked about
O.J. Simpson and is he guilty and about repressed memories of child
abuse, etc. and there was no mention of Karen and that was good. I ate
lunch, kept watering the lawn till done. Pinned up my hair, showered, sat
in the sun for a little while and then all of a sudden Don was home! I
didn't expect him so early. I had read a mystery and the author had given
a recipe for brownies so I decided to make them. They were different and
I thought they were very good. We had the rest of the chili and cukes and
tomatoes in vinegar and oil, Pumpernickel [ ? ] and the brownies. So I
didn't really have to do any cooking. We watched the news. I tried to
reach Linda to tell her about the brownies but no answer. Tried Priss but
she was eating. So we went for a walk. I had not walked at all today so I
needed to do it tonight. Then Priss called me back and she was depressed
and snappish and I find it hard to talk to her when she is like that.
Then called Linda but they were watching a movie so she will call
tomorrow. It is very quiet here tonight. Don didn't have to drive Niki
some place or pick her up. Tomorrow we clean the rest of the house and I
will iron.
105
June 17
Another work day but our house is really clean and neat. Naturally it
won't last but I am enjoying it now. I did my exercises and then Don went
off to play tennis and I cleaned the two bedrooms and this time I washed
the floors as well. Then Don got back and he got out the vacuum and did
the halls bedrooms and living room and I washed the floor on hands and
knees. That was ok but Niki's new Birkenstocks made black streaks and one
has to use cleanser and much rubbing to get them to come off. Finally I
was done and so now I just hope everything stays clean till Jenny and
Niki arrive. We had lunch and then Don laid down and I washed and set my
hair and sat outside for a little while till it got dry and then came in
the house and read and dozed in my chair. I just have to nap a little
after lunch it seems. I made an appointment to have my mammogram on
Tuesday at 12:30. Then I see Dr. Bostwick next Tuesday after that. I hate
all that but I guess I will have to do it. I also have a Hall of Fame
meeting Monday afternoon at 4. It is going to be a busy week. Don said we
would go out to dinner and I was looking forward to that. Naturally I
guess because I would not have to cook. He finally decided on the
Sizzler. That place doesn't appeal to me but I said fine because I
couldn't suggest anything else. So we went and just took the Salad Bar.
It was ok but not great. I took a very small amount of many different
things. Came home and watched the news. They arrested O.J. Simpson and he
was to turn himself in and then he disappeared. He wrote a long letter
and it sounded as if he would commit suicide but at about nine he was
found. All very strange. We had drinks and then went to bed and made love
and it was great. And so the day ended. It was a beautiful day too.
June 18
This was a busy day. Up a little after 5. It is light at this hour now
but in 3 more days it will be the 21st of June, the beginning of summer
and the longest day of the year and then almost suddenly the days begin
to get shorter and before we know it fall will be here. I did my
exercises and then did my mile walk and since Don did not play tennis
today he walked with me. Then I went to pick up Mary and off we went to
the Market, Food for Less and the Cannery. I was back just a little after
9 and had a sweet roll that I got at the Cannery and then Don drove me to
the Discovery Shop. We were really quite busy and I managed to do a lot
of things so the time went fast. I bought Don a belt and another shirt
and I got a challis skirt in muted colors and I will wear a black top and
I can wear that necklace that Priss gave me. When I called her tonight I
told her that and she was pleased. I bought some other things on approval
but I will probably take them back. I have not decided yet. I made a good
dinner: shrimp salad, fettucini, and for dessert strawberry shortcake and
the strawberries were delicious. No white shoulders this time. We even
had a glass of wine and we both enjoyed the dinner. Then the news and
almost all of it was about O.J. Simpson. I am sure we are going to be
hearing a lot about this in the days to come. Don got five movies for
five dollars so we will have something to watch for sure. Tonight it was
Jeff Bridges and Kim Bassinger in Irene I watched most of it but then I
106
showered and put on my tanning lotion. Jenny called and said they would
be up tomorrow. She sounded fine and I am eager to see her. Linda called
to wish Don a Happy Fathers Day because they will be out on the boat for
the day. I wish my right arm would get better. It still is ugly and
bruised but I don't mind that but it hurts still. I will be interested
what Jenny has to say about it. Gail's birthday is today and when Don
called her she had such a bad migraine that she couldn't talk so he is
going to call her tomorrow. I must make a good dinner tomorrow because of
the kids coming. Linda is going to pick up Jason in Santa Cruz on Tuesday
and take him back to Tahoe. Mary Y said today that Steve is doing much
better in Twin Oaks.
June 19
It is after 10. Don gave up early, Niki is at Kasey's and Jenny has gone
to the apartment to read. We just finished watching and crying over Men
Don't Leave with Jessica Lange. Don read the deal saying it was a comedy
and funny but it didn't seem very funny to me. Her husband dies, she has
to get a job, sell the house and the truck, move to Baltimore and there
are all kinds of problems. We got up at 5 after Daisy kept us awake in
the night barking at a dog who came in her territory and Sonnder got out
from across the street and so there was a lot of noise. We went to church
and I am finding it harder and harder to accept the priest and what he is
saying or having to [ ? ] I want to get. We had had lunch and I was just
cutting up the chicken to saute when Jenny and Niki arrived. Jenny looks
fine. Her hair is a little grayer and she is pretty thin but still just
the same. Cathy and Marijeanne had been by earlier bringing Don a card,
some coffee and some peanuts that he likes. Mike called and then Jenny
came and she had gotten him a book on the Civil War, a old one written in
1889. Niki was here just a little while and Kasey came to pick her up and
she called later saying she was invited to a party with the Lindeman's in
Vina and could she stay the night. We said yes. I made a good dinner:
chicken, special washed potatoes, green beans, green salad and a huge
fruit plate and left over brownies for dessert. We watched the news,
still mainly about O.J. Simpson and then I called Priss and then Jenny
and I went for a walk but Barry called just before we left so he had
timed it just right. Jenny went to see Debbie, her close friend who lives
with Pat Lorn and she is leaving tomorrow on a trip so Jenny won't be
seeing that much of her. I go to Stars in the morning and to the Hall of
Fame meeting mid afternoon and I have to come up with a meal tomorrow
night. I feel fat and ugly too. I must stop eating so much!
June 20 - in the 90's - clear
Up at 5. Cool but not as cool as yesterday morning. After breakfast
walked to Safeway and got one papaya. It was a pleasant walk today and it
didn't seem long. When I got back it was time to change the flowers. Made
a lovely bouquet with the lavender hydrangeas and matching candles. At 11
I left for Stars and had a very good workout. Came home and ate my lunch
and visited with Jenny. She had checked with the people in San Francisco
and John seems to be going down hill fast. She had planned to go to Tahoe
on
107
Thursday and then go to San Francisco on Sunday but now she thinks she
had best go back to San Francisco. She cried and so one can't say to stay
here and I wouldn't want her to. So in the afternoon I got the broccoli
out and got it ready to cook. There was enough chicken left over to serve
tonight. I made a beautiful fruit salad and this time of year there are
so many fruits to put in: kiwi, apricot, nectarine, pineapple, grapes,
and orange. I fed the dog and since I had cooked a package of liver that
I found in the freezer she really cleans her plate. I got dressed in my
navy print long skirt and navy top and at 15 to 4 I went down to the
District office to a Hall of Fame meeting. Carl Leveranz, Sharon Pittman
and I were the only ones there plus the secretary but we did get some
things done. Then when I got home I put the meal together and everyone
was very hungry and we cleaned up everything. Then it was the news and
still all about O.J. Simpson. Today he appeared in court and said he was
not guilty. But he is not going to get out on bail that's for sure. Then
I called Priss who had not had a good day at bridge but she finally got
to feeling a little better. Then Jenny and I went for a walk at the
Junior High and it was breezy and since we kept to the shade it was
pleasant. Started to watch a movie but it was bad so I finished rereading The Past is Another Country about a girl growing up in Australia,
part American who becomes a film producer - good book. Niki is with
Nicole, Cathy stopped by before work to visit with Jenny, and I think Don
and I are about ready for bed.
June 21
Up at 5. Cool and the longest day of the year. After breakfast I walked
to Lucky. Tomorrow papayas are going to be $1.39 so I will wait to buy
some. It was a lovely time to walk and I enjoyed it. When I got home I
showered and shampooed and set my hair. Changed the flowers, the day
lilies are just about over and some of my fancy ones from last year did
not bloom this year. Don't know why. When I was done with all that I did
the ironing and then we had lunch. Don had to be at a Hospice meeting at
12 and I had to be at the Chico Diagnostic at 12:30 so I dropped him off
and then drove to my appointment. I was early so I read an article about
O.J. Simpson in People and then I had a mammogram but only of my left
breast. Thank goodness because she took a lot of pictures and it was
painful. Came home and fed Daisy and went to get Don but he had already
started out and I met him just beyond McManus. I made two new dishes for
dinner: a cornbread with lots of other things in it. I don't think I will
make it again and a salad that I love: tomatoes, cukes, rice vinegar and
feta cheese - it was great. Made stir fry. Niki was not interested in
dinner. Don doesn't like stir fry and Jenny is so worried about John that
it really doesn't matter what I make because she doesn't notice. She is
going back tomorrow. Sandy came by when Jenny and I were out walking and
so Niki is over there for the night. Julie stopped by and she got 5 A's
and one B so Don had to shell out a lot of money since he pays $10 an A.
She likes her lifeguarding and teaching the young ones to swim. Niki got
her report card and it was not good and she lost credits yet again so she
will have to go an extra semester. She was not in a good mood. Well I
wasn't
108
either when I saw all the tardies. She says she doesn't want to think
about it. Great.
June 22
It is lovely and cool in the early morning. In fact it didn't get all
that hot today at all. I tried to do most of my exercises this morning
and my arm is getting better. I went for the Mall walk this morning and
when I got back Jenny was about ready to leave for San Francisco. She is
so worn and tired and since the whole thing is not over she will have a
terrible vacation and she may go back before he dies. Since he doesn't
eat or drink but rarely and he is in constant pain I just wish he would
die. I know that sounds terrible but at this stage I think everyone is
beginning to wish that. I busied myself around the house. Don had a
Hospice meeting about his patient and then went to see his patient so he
didn't get home till after mid morning. Priss came over and brought me
the latest Judith Krantz book and invited us to have dinner with David,
Ann and her next Tuesday. When Don got back I fixed his and my lunch and
then walked to the library where I worked steadily for two hours and
typed 83 cards. Came home and still no Niki who had spent the night with
Sandy. I can see the summer stretching out and constant clashes with Niki
and I dread it. In fact I don't look forward to the two years ahead
because I don't think it will get much better. I know she doesn't want to
go back with her Mother but she doesn't like us all that much either. It
must be sad to be so unhappy. I fixed a simple dinner for Don and me. We
watched the news and then went for a walk because it was breezy and not
too hot. I did not call Priss since I had seen her this morning. I kept
calling Linda because I knew that yesterday she had gone down to pick up
Jason in Santa Cruz. Called her office this morning but the lady said she
would be back on Thursday. I called her house off and on all day and got
no answer. Finally at about 8 I called and got Craig. Her car had broken
down and Craig had to go to get them. They were up at the restaurant
getting something to eat. Called Cathy tonight and had a long talk with
her. The smoking problem is driving her crazy but she is still on the
wagon so to speak. However she did say she and David were not getting
along and they were planning to go see Carrie. She had called Jenny and
plans to call her every night. She is worried too about how tired and
drawn she is. Well I will read for awhile and then go to bed.
June 23
Well it was a fairly quiet day but I got things done. Nothing spectacular
but while satisfying. I did my exercises this morning but instead of
going for a walk I cleaned the kitchen cabinets, vacuumed, got the spots
off the kitchen floor, cut up a pineapple that had been 99 cents and it
was delicious, changed all the flowers and cut back dead heads. So I kept
myself busy most of the day. Drove to Lucky, Longs, K-Mart and Safeway.
Checked on Miracle Gro lawn food and sprayer at Longs - cost $10 each.
Checked at K- Mart and they were $6.77 each. Naturally I was glad I
checked both places. After lunch I started Judith Krantz's latest and
Priss wanted me to read it and I will but her formula is so obvious and
the same kind of people are in each one. I have my neck brace on tonight
109
as I write this. Usually if my neck is tired I wear this at night but
this time I decided I couldn't wait till night time. Well it is 9 p.m. so
it is almost bed time. Niki didn't call till about 2 p.m. They were going
to a movie they said and I told them that we wanted both Niki and Sandi
to come for dinner and the night. I didn't give them a chance to say no.
They called at about 5:30 and Don picked them up. I had made a dinner I
thought they would like: hamburgers, potato salad, green beans, a fruit
plate and chocolate pudding. They came and ate. I called Jenny and she
sounded terrible. She said she had made her peace with John and she was
going to Tahoe tomorrow morning. She said she was too stressed out to
stay. I think she is wise to leave. She said if she is not there when he
dies she can handle that. Talked to Linda and the car had broken down in
Concord and they had spent the night with Pam and it sounded pretty grim.
Craig came and picked them up. Talked to Cathy and she is feeling better.
Don talked to Mike and he was feeding Emma and said that no matter what
happened between him and Karen he felt he could handle it. Boy all our
children and some of the grand children are having problems. Linda says
Jason is very depressed and unhappy . Certainly Niki is not what I would
call a happy camper at least when she is around us. The thought of at
least two more years of life like that is grim to say the least.
June 24
Slept quite well and was willing to get up at 5. Did not do much in the
exercise area but I did go for a walk to Safeway to pick up some bananas
for Don's breakfast. The walk was pleasant and wasn't too hot. When I got
home I wanted to make bread or rolls but Sandi and Niki were asleep in
the apartment so I didn't want to go over to get the margarine I needed.
So Don and I sat around and talked. At the moment I really couldn't see
anything in the future that was worth getting excited over. We don't have
jobs any more to challenge and excite us. We are housebound because of
Niki and Daisy so here we are not doing anything that is fun or
challenging or exciting. Even our drinking and our sex is rationed
according to whether Don has to pick up Niki or take her somewhere during
the evening. Entertaining is much the same way and no one ever invites
any more so we both felt pretty glum. What we need is a project but I
can't think of any. Well anyway finally it got to be lunch time and so we
had that and Don watched some tennis and I read a little and dozed a
little. The girls got up and had something to eat and then Don took Sandi
home. I decided to make rolls and one pan of cinnamon rolls to please
Don. They turned out just perfect. We ate some right then while they were
hot. Niki asked to be taken to Sandi's so she could go to the band
concert. She doesn't know if she is going to stay the night at her house
or not. If not, Don will have to pick her up and it will be light. Our
dinner was good: cold salmon, leftover potato and three-bean salad, hot
rolls and sliced tomatoes and I ate mine with feta cheese. We watched the
news, talked to Priss though we didn't have much to say and then we went
for a walk. I took a shower when we got home because I was hot and
sticky. Then I happened to look out and there was the most gorgeous
sunset! Now I guess I will read for awhile before going to bed. Then Niki
called
110
to say she was staying at Sandy's so we had a drink on the patio and then
went to bed and made love. Great.
June 25 - John Colm died this afternoon.
Up at 5. Lovely morning. Did my exercises had my cereal and then read the
paper. Got dressed and was at Mary's door at 7:15. Didn't buy all that
much at Food for Less. Got by for less than $20. Then at the Cannery I
spent another $20. I got good things at the Food Market: cukes, tomatoes,
nectarines, apricots, and green beans plus two red onions. When I got
home I put everything away and then I decided to cook. I made a meat loaf
and cooked it but put it in the fridge and will serve it tomorrow cold.
Then I made three casseroles of hot dish so with two pounds of sirloin
and half pound of ground turkey I made enough for at least five meals.
Not bad. I checked the fridge and cleaned out, combined and threw out a
lot of things. After lunch and some reading Don and I went for a walk to
the Mall. I bought another pair of cotton pants at Mervyns. We went to
Longs and got their ad for the week. At Lucky I checked to see if they
had rhubarb, they didn't, and then at K-Mart I looked around too. Then
home. We called Tahoe but no one answered. Later Don got Jason and talked
to him. He is being a waiter on the new Dixie. Niki called occasionally
from Sandy's. Then later in the afternoon Jenny called and Don answered
the phone. John was dead. He had people around him and he went in peace.
She had talked to him before she left and told him that now he could let
go. He didn't have to fight it any longer. Everyone understands and
accepted so he could say to himself that he didn't have to try any
longer. She said we could tell Niki but not to call her at Sandy's so she
still doesn't know. I made fancy heroes for dinner: bacon, cheese,
tomato, cuke and lettuce. Delicious then the news. Talked to Priss. Don
and I went for another walk and then I came home and took a shower,
shaved my legs put on tanning and have been reading since then. It is now
10:35.
June 26
It doesn't seem possible that there are just four more days in June. This
month has gone so fast and on the 11th of July Jenny will be going back
to Australia. We didn't go to church this morning. Instead I walked to
Safeway and Don drove, we shopped and then I walked home and he drove
with the groceries. It worked out fine. Then a little before 101 walked
to Longs to get some of the advertised bargains. I bought more than I
should and so it was real difficult carrying it all home but I made it.
Don went to get Niki at Sandy's and he had to tell her about John. She
was crying when she got in the house. She liked him very much and this
was hard for her. I ate my lunch and then I made a rhubarb pie. Haven't
made a pie in a long time. I boiled new potatoes and made a cream sauce
with cheese. The meat loaf that I made yesterday was easy to slice since
being chilled. Then I made a salad of tomatoes, red and green peppers,
etc. kernels from one ear of corn, cucumbers. Each person put the
dressing that he wanted on it and eveything tasted great. Jenny who
arrived at 4:30 had not had lunch so she was really hungry. Oh yes, I
forgot,
111
there were hot rolls too. I gave the list of things that we thought would
be good for Niki to do this summer: walk two miles a day, read a good
book, Club five days a week, read a chapter of Don's history text each
week, etc. Niki was very angry and said she didn't have to do anything
during vacation. Both Julie and Rosalie have jobs and Niki could have
Kasey's job of cleaning Jack's office for $10 a week and that would be
$40 a month plus she is giving up her babysitting jobs and Niki was not
interested so Nicole is doing them. I get discouraged. Talked to Priss
briefly after dinner. I told her I would not call tomorrow night and
Tuesday we are going to her house for drinks with David and Ann and then
we are going to the Zephyr for dinner. That should be nice. Jenny and I
went for a walk after that. She was the one who told me about the jobs
Kasey offered Niki. Tomorrow at 10 I go to Dr. Battnich and I will fine
out about my x-ray. I hope everything is ok. I am discouraged about Niki.
But what is new about that. Don suggested the other night that I go see
someone about all this. I think Niki should be going not me.
June 27
It was one hot day. In fact it got up to 100 and over. We still did not
turn on the air but now we have it on for a short time to blow out all
the hot air and make it a little cooler. I started out by doing my
exercises then I shampooed and set my hair. Then I went for a walk and
did the square in to Ceres on East to Lupin to North and home. That is a
good walk, got dressed and had Jenny take me to Dr. Bostwich. The x-rays
were all negative. I have to have some more in December and if it is ok
then I have to have only one a year. That was good news. I walked home
and by then it was pretty warm and I had on slacks so once I got home I
changed to my white terry romper. The man from Penneys came and fixed the
drape cords. It took less than half an hour and cost $50! I ate lunch and
then laid down and dozed a little while Don napped. Gave Niki the summer
list of suggestions: read two hours a day, go to the club five days a
week, read Don's history text, help more around the house, etc. she
crumbled it up in disdain. So much for that. Don talked to her later and
claims she may do some of the things. I am not so sure. Made a simple
dinner: a fruit salad, cold meat loaf, green beans and fettucini. There
was enough pie for Don and Jenny. Niki didn't eat because she got up late
and had had lunch at 4. She re-arranged her room in the night because she
could not sleep and she was very angry because I did not let her use
Linda's coffee table that is in the bedroom of the apartment. Thank
goodness Valerie came over at about 4:30 and they went off to the Mall
and so just the three of us ate dinner. Linda called. She has a bad
migraine. Pam and Nicki are up at Tahoe and the stress of that probably
brought on the headache. Jenny and I walked after dinner and it was not
too hot. Barry had called. Now it is about time to go to bed. It is cold
in Melbourne and strange to think it is winter there. Linda & Craig will
be in Chico at the weekend. That will be nice. Jenny and Cathy had lunch
together. Cathy's knee is swollen and she may not go to work tonight. We
are all falling apart it seems.
June 28
112
I would say that this was just about a useless day. At least by my
standard where I have to have something to show. Up at 5, did my
exercises, read the paper and then got dressed. I walked the Mall walk
and stopped at Lucky to buy two more papayas at $1.39 each. Then I
watered all the plants and [ ? ] on with the watering of the lawn. At 10
to 10 I walked to Montgomery Ward to return a can of paint. I had to wait
a long time and when I got back it was time for lunch. Then I read Animal
Dreams again. A book I really love. I pinned up my hair and did my nails.
Niki accepted the coffee table in the apartment living room to put in her
room and we put the table that had been in her room along my bed. Then we
moved the marble top rent table to the apartment. So we didn't have to
buy anything and everyone was more or less satisfied. I got dressed after
a shower in my white skirt and pink long sweater. At 5 we arrived at the
Scott residence. We decided that David and Priss had had a fight because
there was something in the air that practically crackled. We had a drink
and then went to the Zephyr for dinner. It was a disappointment but
terribly expensive and poor David paid. I had pork tenderloin the salad
was ok and the bread was good but it all cost too much. We invited them
to drinks tomorrow night. I just hope it goes better than tonight. We
left and when we got home Niki went to Sandy's for the night. Jenny has
been correcting papers all day. The Marquis' invited us for the 4th of
July. Friday night Craig and Linda are coming down because Craig is in a
race at Willows. I am going to bed and tomorrow I am going to keep busy.
June 29 - 95 degrees
It is 9:40 p.m. We had the air on from 2:30 till about half an hour ago
and now the house is heating up again. It was another hot day. So what
did I do today? Well I did a little better than yesterday. After
breakfast and the papers I got out the ironing board and did the ironing
and put things away. I also made those little pizza snacks because the
Scotts were coming for drinks at 5. Then I had lunch and walked to the
library. Really I wasn't as hot aas I had expected to be. David and Ann
came over and used the computer to write some letter of an official
nature. I didn't have as many cards to type as usual. Only 50 and so I
got done and even got them all filed by 2 when Don picked me up. I wanted
to go to the Big 5 for their shoe sale but the ones I wanted were not in
my size so we came on home. I dusted, vacuumed, washed the kitchen floor.
Made deviled eggs and got things ready for the people coming. Then Niki
appeared with with Sandi and two other girls and they took over the
kitchen. They drank orange juice, Niki wanted to eat all the deviled eggs
and got real huffy when I said no. They all just opened the fridge as if
they lived here and I got really upset. I didn't say anything but I
decided I would talk to her when we were both calm. Well thank goodness
they had left by 5 when the Scotts came. Today things went just the
opposite of last night. We talked about the Lillibridges of the World,
the book about Don's heritage, they liked everything I had fixed and they
drank and we talkled and everything was just fine. They left and we had
both snacked so much that we were not hungry for dinner. Jenny called
from Debbie's saying she was eating there and going to watch a movie. So
I read and finished Animal Dreams for about the third time
113
and I still cry. It is a very good book. Now it is 10 p.m. and I must
start thinking about bed.
June 30
It is 8:45. Jenny and Don are watching Tombstone. I started with it but
at 8 so much shooting and killing that I gave up. Don got The Pelican
Brief too so that comes next if anyone wants to watch it. Now what about
my day? We got up at 5 after I spent a rather restless night. [ ? ] there
it is 3:30 a.m. once where I doze off and on and then think about all my
problems the rest of the time. I was glad to get up. Did all my exercises
this morning. Read the papers and then got dressed and walked to Safeway
to get cottage cheese. I also got doughnuts for Don and Jenny. When I got
home I went outside and pulled weeds and did some pruning and then came
in and made lunch. Lois Hein had her arm operated on yesterday - an 8
hour deal and she is in a lot of pain and they still don't know whether
she will be able to use her right hand again or not. So Don didn't play
tennis today and won't again tomorrow. This is the last day of June. It
is hard to believe that the month is over because for some reason it
seemed to go so fast. I made bread and the seven loaves looked and
smelled so lovely when I took them out of the oven. We had the mock crab
salad tonight that we had planned to have last night and I fixed cukes
and tomatoes and green beans and then I made a new recipe for brownies
that I saw in the Chronicle. It didn't make much but they were good and
we ate all of them! Niki came back from Sandy's at 2:30 and has been here
ever since and didn't ask Don to take her anywhere. That was a change! We
have pretty well decided on giving her a clothes allowance of $35 a month
and since her allowance is $15 a week and when school is on I give her
$10 a week for lunch - she has a lot of money coming in. Jenny says she
must learn to handle money and be responsible. We shall see what happens.
I think I will call tomorrow to see if I can get a perm soon. I am
already tired of pinning it up. Well I guess I will read for awhile.
July 1
A new month! I woke up at 5:30 and Don was gone. He must have gone quite
some time before because he was eating breakfast and just waiting for his
vitamins. Well I did my exercises and had some graham crackers and milk
for cereal and then I read the papers. There were some bad fires in the
Coucow area and over 1000 acres were burned. Fire season is upon us. I
watered plants, picked flowers and at 9 I went to S&S and got some things
we needed. Don had to go buy two new tires and he took Niki to the Sport
Club. Ate lunch and then I walked over to Mervyns and tried on clothes,
couldn't find anything that I really wanted but it was fun always. By
afternoon it was really hot. I made some banana bread and started a book
and didn't like it so put it down and started another one. It seems like
all the authors these days write about incest, or child abuse, or
battered women as well as murder and I long for the old mysteries that
were set in fairly normal settings. I made Spanish rice, tortillas,
refried beans, etc. it was ok but not great. Linda
114
and Craig were due at about 7 but we figured they would be late so Jenny
and I went for a walk and found an apricot tree on a vacant lot so Jenny
filled her pockets with them. They are delicious. Linda and Craig arrived
at about 8. She had brought a lot of clothes for everyone. Jenny got some
and there were some for the Yorks and I went through the rest. I found
two heavy cotton sweaters, and some tops that I like. The rest of them
folded carefully and will take to the church rummage. So Jenny and Linda
have been talking up a storm and now it is after 10 and Don has gone to
bed and I should take a shower and then I too will go to bed.
July 2
I woke up at 4:30 and was so wide awake that I decided to get up. Don was
sound asleep and I managed to get out of the room without disturbing him.
So I went to the TV room and did all my exercises and then got things
ready in the kitchen and I let Daisy out and Don didn't get up till 20 to
7! Went for a walk and it is so great at that hour because it is cool and
fresh and no one is around. Picked up Mary at 7:15. At the Food Market I
got tomatoes, cukes, red onions. Then on to Food for Less and the
Cannery. I spent more money than last week but I guess that is to be
expected. Got home and put everything away and Don wanted to go to Target
to buy something for Emma's birthday on the 8th. We found a very sweet
dress and a pair of shorts with a top. I wanted to look around but when
one is with Don you don't do that sort of thing so we came right straight
home. By then it was lunch time. I had run a load of clothes including
the stuff that Linda had brought last night. So I ironed the stuff that
needed it. In the afternoon I made a chocolate bundt cake and I did the
salad greens and even made a big amount of 1000 Island dressing. Got
rolls out to heat. The two girls come and go. I wish that Jenny would do
something with Niki but it never seems to happen. Maybe I am expecting
too much. Maybe they don't want to be together. I just find it strange
somehow. Well anyway there was the car problem. Jenny went to pick up
Linda in Willows. Outside of Orland she had car trouble so she called Don
and he drove over and they finally got the car working and then they had
to find Linda but finally they all got home. It was a pretty hot
afternoon to be doing all of this. Dinner was fine. Everyone seemed to
like it. Then we watched the news and then Don and I went for a walk. I
was hot and tired and short of breath but I made it back home. So we sat
out on the patio and talked and then the girls came out and we all began
to think of movies and Old The Night came to mind and so they decided
they wanted to see it and Don went over and got it. They are now
watching. Don has gone to bed and I think I will read.
July 3 - hot - Linda & Craig leaving
We got up at 5 and I did a little in the way of exercise, read a little
of the papers and then walked the North Avenue mile before getting
dressed for church. Afterwards we went to Holiday and Safeway for
bargains on Coke, chicken, cantaloupe, etc. Got doughnuts and when we got
home both Linda and Jenny were up. I went out to get daylilies and roses
115
and got the vases arranged for the day. Then I cleaned our two bathrooms.
How I hate that job. Kasey came to pick up Niki and they left for the day
and Niki will spend the night with Kasey. Cathy stopped by with
Marijeanne and they went through the rest of the clothes from Tahoe. We
washed clothes and after drying them I folded. Don and I ate lunch. I
laid down on the lounge to read and fell asleep and woke up hot and
sticky with a headache. I won't do that again in this heat. People came
and went, people ate and drank cold drinks. I fixed a simple dinner. We
had corn (I didn't have that) and I made a cheese sandwich and I had rice
left over and made a little salad for Jenny and Don and Linda snacked in
her usual way eating a lot of chocolate sauce now and then. Craig had an
accident with the race car but was not hurt. They left at about 8. They
took her dining room table and she promised to bring the one of Yvonne's
that was then Jenny's down. Bonnie has it now. In the mean time there
will be a big space. I shaved my legs and showered and then put tanning
lotion on. Jenny cried when Linda left. They had such a good time
together. We talked about a plan for Niki that we will start on the 1st
of August. She will get $80 a month plus her lunch money once school
starts. That will include her present allowance but there will be no
tasks involved. Two times a year she will get a $250 clothes allowance.
We will buy shampoo, etc. We have not talked to her about this yet.
July 4
It is 9:30 p.m. Niki and Don have gone to bed and Jenny is in the
apartment so that leaves Daisy and me. Interesting day. We got up at 5
and after breakfast and the paper I left at 7:15 to go to Safeway. I got
no fat cottage cheese and sour cream. Came home and started ironing. Niki
came home from Kasey's around 10 planning to go to the fireworks tonight.
I ironed all of Niki's things that were in the wash and Jenny corrected
papers. Then they went off to have lunch together. Don and I ate and I
was sitting in the living room reading when they came back and Niki
looked like thunder. Jenny said she had talked to her about her weight
and she got upset. Said she didn't want to go to LA because she was a fat
cow and Michelle wouldn't like her any because of the way she looks. If
Jenny wanted to talk to her why would she wait till now? Bad timing. Well
finally she got calmed down but she decided not to go to Paradise with us
to have dinner with the Marquiss and go with Kasey. It got hot and I
changed my mind many times about what to wear but finally since Jenny was
wearing a long skirt I wore my blue print skirt with blue top and navy
sandals. We left at 4:30. I had made a potato salad because Jenny said we
would just have sandwiches. Well we had chicken breasts, a delicious
salad of tomatoes, onions, etc. green beans and bread. Then for dessert
we had fresh fruit with vanilla yogurt but my potato salad fitted - ok.
We had scotch before dinner and wine with. It all tasted great and it is
such fun to go to someone's house for a change. They have a beautiful
home with so many interesting pieces of furniture and I like them so
much. We came home and changed and Jenny and I went for a walk. It had
cooled off and was pleasant but it is still hot in the house. I had
planned on going to the Discovery shop tomorrow morning to pay
116
my bill and to return some things but we decided it would be better to
take our car when Jenny drives Niki to Sacramento because the Honda of
Rick Cherry's has had some problems. Or I will have to go on Wednesday. I
watered plants, washed and ironed a load of clothes and got in about
three miles of walking.
July 5 - wrote to Pauline
Got up at 5. Daisy spent a restless night and did a lot of barking which
kept waking us up. I did my exercises but since it was Tuesday not as
many as on Monday, Wednesday, Friday. Then after breakfast I did the Mall
walk and was home shortly after 7. Jenny and Niki left for Sacramento at
8:30 since Niki's plane left at 11. She will be staying with Michelle
Flegine and her father and they will be going to Disneyland and to all
the other places in the area. She will be coming back on next Monday.
When Jenny got back she said it was tough saying goodbye to her. Well I
did a stupid thing. I decided to neat up Niki's closet so I did that and
then thought I should make the bed, turned tripped over the fan (stand up
type) and fell back against the coffee table she has by her bed and hurt
my ribs in back on one side. It scared me and it hurt like hell. I have a
bad bruise on my left back side and I am sure I bruised ribs or I may
have cracked something. I seem to be hurting myself all the time these
days. I hope this is the last one. Well the pain eased off and I went out
and pulled weeds in the border and Don worked on the crabgrass. We had
lunch and Jenny got back shortly after. Made a great salad for dinner:
boiled new potatoes cut up, green beans, cukes, tomato, onions, black
olives and a great dressing. Had leftover corn cut off the cob and I
sauted that. Had french bread and blueberry crumble for dessert. It all
tasked great. Then the news: forest fires, the O.J. Simpson pre-trial,
and Haiti - all bad news. I just finished writing to my sister. Not a
very good letter but better than none. Jenny goes to San Francisco on
Thursday and says she will be back on Friday. Don drives her to
Sacramento on Sunday and goes down to pick up Niki on Monday. I had so
hoped that we would get away for a few days while Jenny was here but that
is not to be. Ok well so it goes. I just hope I will be able to sleep
tonight with this sore back.
July 6 - hot
It is 9:20 p.m. Don has just left to go to bed and Jenny is out seeing
Cathy so Daisy and I are the ones in the living room. Well after my bad
fall yesterday morning I am not doing too badly. I took two Nuprin before
I went to bed last night and slept right straight through and that
helped. My back hurts a little but I did all my exercises this morning
and I walked the Mall walk in order to buy vitamins and later I walked to
the library so I am ok though I am weary now. What did I do today? Well I
did the flowers, vacuumed the bedroom, living room and TV room and I
washed the kitchen floor. Then I got dressed for the library. Ate my
lunch and was on my way. Typed 50+ cards, got books and Don picked me up
at 2:00. We went to Safeway to get half and half and I bought a quart of
vanilla yogurt. Delicious. Jenny told me today that Don was not eating
properly and he should drink wine with dinner and have something before.
I told her that when Niki is
117
here he usually has to drive her somewhere or pick her up or both. I get
a bit weary of our children telling us what we are doing wrong. One of
these days I may even say something to that affect. Anyway I made a good
dinner: pork tenderloin in a sour cream sauce, mashed potatoes, carrots
and a huge green salad plus sliced peaches with yogurt and Don had a
drink before dinner. Then I went to the Food Market because we needed
cukes, tomatoes and cots. It was really hot driving at that hour and I
was glad to get home. I missed the news but I didn't mind. I turned on
the air at about 3 p.m. It was just too hot and I think it is crazy to
have it and not use it when everyone is uncomfortable. Talked to Priss
and she gave me a list of mystery writers and I will try to get some of
them when I go next Wednesday. I want to go to the Discovery Shop
tomorrow to pay my bill and return some things. Don has to go see his
Hospice patient tomorrow because when he went today he was asleep. I
shall run my errands when he comes back. Jenny is going to San Francisco
tomorrow so we will have the evening to ourselves unless something
unforseen happens and I certainly hope it doesn't.
July 7 - hot day
This was a bad day for me. I had planned to do a lot of things: go to get
white paint, get some screws for the little table, something to hang up
the hose, etc. then Jenny said she didn't want to drive the Honda to San
Francisco so Don said take our car. Well this kind of thing has happened
before but for some reason this time I was furious, hurt, I cried and I
just couldn't resign myself for [ ? ] I have been acting. Car and many
times dependant on others to go places but this time it hit a raw nerve
and I seemed to nurse it all day. I don't think Don even begins to
understand. He did have to be out a car and dependant on others for a
week before he moved even get a glimpse of how I feel about this. But I
did things: I fixed the waist on a skirt, I washed and ironed clothes and
I read. By dinner time I was almost back to normal. It was an easy meal
because there was something of everything left over from last night so it
was easy. I called and talked to Priss after the news but I didn't walk
at all all day. A little after 8 we were sitting on the patio because we
had not turned on the air conditioning which is stupid because it was
very hot. Why have it if we don't use it? It is getting like the fire
place in the winter for some reason we seldom have a fire. Well anyway we
had drinks and I had two cigarettes (I can't even spell the word any
more) and we went to bed and made love but it was very painful on my sore
ribs though I didn't let on that it hurt but finally it was over and I
went to sleep but I had not taken any pain pills because of the drink and
I had a restless and painful night. Linda called to see how I was. I
supposed Jenny had told her about my fall and my sore ribs. Niki called
but had little to say. They had been to Disneyland and this day had spent
time at the pool.
July 8 - hot 98
Up at 5. Restless night and I seem to be stiff and sore this morning. I
did most of my exercised though and after breakfast I walked to Safeway
to get two bananas because they
118
had the best price of 27 cents a pound. In the heat they ripen too fast
so I will buy two every other day. Got Don a doughnut and some ground
round on sale. When I got home I changed the flowers, wished all the
plants, picked up my hair and read for a bit. Since I was going out to
lunch with Priss I decided on white cotton slacks and a turquoise short
sleeved top with white shoes. She picked me up at 11:30 and we went to
the Hacienda. We had tostadas and they were very good but way too much
for me to eat. We had a nice time and afterwards she drove around to show
me some of the new houses that are like mansions. Chico is growing in all
directions and there are many very expensive homes. Got home and cooked
some carrots, some twisty noodles and was going to make a salad for
tonight but then Jenny arrived and said she and Cathy were going out to
dinner. So I quickly changed the menu and will have that dinner tomorrow
night. So I made a grilled cheese sandwich for Don and I made myself half
a cheese sandwich and there was corn on the cob and cukes and tomatoes.
Then Cathy called and the two and ?r? girls were going to be gone and
could Marijeanne stay with us. So it was easy to make another sandwich
and get out some chips and she ate with us. I had made gingersnaps
earlier so we had those. Afterwards we watched the local news. O.J.
Simpson is going to go on trial for murder. The judge decided in the prehearing that there was enough evidence. Marijeanne and I walked to the
Mall. Mervyns opened today and we looked around there and then came home
and had ice cream. I am very weary tonight and also it is not even 8 p.m.
I would like to go to bed. Maybe I will get a second wind but I must stay
up till Cathy picks up Marijeanne.
July 9 - not quite so hot but still not great
I had a bad night and ended up on the lounge. I think the water bed may
be too soft and so it makes my back ache more because of lack of support.
I think I must have cracked two ribs because they hurt more now than at
the beginning. Well enough of that. I did a few exercises that didn't
hurt me and then I read the paper and before I realized it was time to
pick up Mary. At the Market I got green beans, tomatoes, cukes and cots.
I spent only $19+ at Food for Less and $18+ at the Cannery. Not exciting
at either place. Got home and put things away. Drove to Holiday to get
some of their specials and by then it was time for lunch. I really didn't
feel like myself. I keep hoping things will be better. I laid on the
lounge and read but nothing really interested me so I dozed. Jenny went
off to see people. Later in the afternoon Don wanted to go to the Mall
and we saw the wolf poster and he liked it so when we were done he came
home and took the picture in the frame back over so they will put the
poster in. Mervyns is open for business although they have not had there
grand opening yet. I bought a little white knit thing to wear over a suit
for $8. The store is nice and it looks better than when Penneys was there
but since I was with Don we didn't stop to look at things for any length
of time. For dinner I opened a can of salmon and sliced tomatoes and
cukes and I had the pasta salad, french bread and wonderful strawberries
on warm scones with cream. Jenny went to see Debbie, Don and I went for a
walk. He watched The Firm and I shaved my legs, showered, put on tanning
119
lotion and read. When Jenny came home we talked and now she has gone to
the apartment and Don is in bed and I found the thing he wore when he
cracked his ribs and I have it on and I think it helps. I just hope I
sleep tonight.
July 10
I had a hard time getting up this morning. My right back really hurt.
When Jenny got up she insisted that I go to Convenient Care and I gave
in. So Don drove me over. They x- rayed my lungs and the back rib area
and luckily there were no cracks or breaks - and my lungs were clear.
They were worried about a puncture. So I got an Rx for pain to take at
night and I am sure that will help because I slept badly last night and
ended up in the bed across the hall. When I went to Walgreens I got an
over the counter pain reliever to take in the day time. We came home and
I walked over to get the Rx and then went over to K- Mart to look at
Underoos that were on sale but they did not have my size. When I got home
(it was getting hot for walking) Cathy and Marijeanne were here to say
goodbye to Jenny. Rose was deep sea fishing with David and Julie was at
4-H camp. So then we had lunch and sort of sat around with Jenny until
Debbie came to pick her up at 2:15. We all cried when she left. But she
will be back in December. I have been reading a good book called Blue
Moon about a R[hode] I[sland] family where fishing is their main job and
there are three sisters and their families and the main character among
the children is Josie who is deaf. It is good. We had a good dinner:
leftover frozen stew, french bread, and a great green salad. It was nice
to be by ourselves. Then there was the news and then I read. Called Priss
and talked for half an hour and then at 8 I went for a walk just to the
end of North Avenue. Now at 9:30 Don has gone to bed and I will read for
awhile and go myself.
July 11
It is 10:20 and still very hot. I just finished Judith Krantz Lovers and
it wasn't too bad. I did quite a bit of skimming however. What did I do
today? I slept better last night than the night before. I started to do
my exercises but it hurt too much so I quit. I worry about getting flabby
because I didn't do hardly any walking either. I vacuumed the apartment
and then I drove to Stars and told them I would not be coming for awhile
because of my back. Then I walked to the Discovery Shop and paid my bill
of $5.90. The place looks terrible. It is a junky mess. They will have to
get rid of some of their stuff. I had stopped at Priss to have her check
on some of the things I was taking to the Discovery Shop and we visited
for awhile. On the way home I stopped at K-Mart and bought Tide because
it was on sale. When I got home it was time for lunch. Then Don took the
marble top off the little table with the metal legs and I spray painted
the white base and it is now back together and looks nice. I made potato
salad and I fixed baked beans on top of the stove and had sliced tomatoes
and hot dogs for dinner. Everything tasted good and we were both hungry.
I really didn't feel very good. My back hurts and when I try to get out
of a chair, hurts and if I reach for something or close a door or a
window it hurts. How long is
120
this going to last? I made arrangements to have my x-rays sent to Dr.
Foltz so that they will send me a clearance because my TB had expired and
Chico Unified needs a [ ? ]. Well tomorrow is our last day and then we
will have Niki back. I would like to have gone to the coast for a day or
two and we thought we would do that but then Jenny was always going
somewhere and so it never came up. Ok well I guess it was just not to be.
July 12
It is about 9 p.m. and we have just opened up and turned off the air. It
is still hot and there is no breeze. So what did I do today? Not all that
much. Don went off to play tennis and I did the North Avenue mile walk
and then I watered the plants because with the heat they dry out so soon.
I got more roses and did all the vases. I cleaned the stove and the sink.
I talked to Linda. She was fixing Jason's lunch and didn't have much to
report. At 12:15 I drove to the Beauty College and Tricia gave me a perm
and it turned out great. I was surprised that my back didn't hurt more
with all that sitting and shampooing, rinsing, etc. No interesting mail
came. When I got back after 3 Don had turned on the air thank goodness so
although it was very hot outside it was cool in the house. I set my hair
and it dried quickly and it looks fine. Thank goodness Don suggested that
we go to the Red Lobster for dinner and that was what we did. We got
there at 5 and the place was already busy. I ordered all the different
kinds of shrimp and Don ordered a small bowl of soup and a salad. I split
mine with him so it worked out just fine. Watched some of the news and
then had a good visit with Priss. I took a walk but it was still so hot
that I didn't go very long. I got out my journal for 1981 when Don
slipped on the wet leaves in front of the house when he was walking Lady
and broke his ribs and I went over the next days and he was in great
pain. I am pretty discouraged about the way I feel but I realize it is
going to take quite some time before I can do everything again. I think I
will call the library tomorrow and tell them I can't come in because Don
has to get Niki in Sacramento which means I would have to walk and in
this heat the way I feel it would be a bit much. I will want to cook a
nice dinner for tomorrow night so I will stay home. We had such good
plans to make love tonight because starting tomorrow we will not be alone
any more and now I can't do it for a while. The best laid plans, seems
sometimes as if we have to say this all too often.
July 13- 101°
Awake at 5. The pills I take at night really help me sleep but today was
not a good day for pain. I don't think I will take the Aleve any more
because my stomach feels strange afterwards. Don went off to play tennis
and I cleaned the three bathrooms - I am always thankful when they are
done. Don came home from tennis, showered and went to breakfast with
Carl, Boyle and Waters. I finally got in touch with the people at the
library to say I was not coming today because it was very hot and I
couldn't see walking both ways and then typing for two hours in between.
They were nice about it. I read a little, decided to make bread and I
didn't turn on the air till about 2:30. I fixed chicken thighs,
121
put in potatoes to bake and fixed cukes and tomatoes for our dinner. Don
came back with Niki who is tanned. She had a good time and she says
Michelle loved California and wants to come back next year and she will
come here and stay with us which is fine. Niki went to all kinds of
places: Sea World, Knotts Berry Farm, Disneyland, then to Tiajuana in
Mexico, and much more. It must have cost a fortune. She brought me a
little turtle out of some kind of stone, Don a pen and small gifts for
her friends. She bought a purple and white rug or throw, a beautiful
silver and turquoise cross, and some other things. After dinner I drove
to Holiday and got a papaya and to Safeway and got a turkey since they
were 49 cents a pound. And ajar of Best Foods mayonaise. Still very hot.
Came home and called Priss and then walked to the Mall to return a top
that I decided I did not need. I have a good looking black top and a pair
of black slacks for fall. The Mall has been renovated and looks very
nice. But there certainly are not many people there. It is 10:15 and I am
going to bed.
July 14 - spotting - 101°
A pretty dull day. We got up at 5:30 and I did breakfast for Don and I
decided to skip exercises for the time being but I feel I must walk so
this morning I walked to Lucky and got two bananas and a mango. When I
got back Don was back from having had breakfast with Charlie Geshekter
and we had to drive Rick Cherry's Honda way out on Park Avenue to a place
to have it checked because Rick had called yesterday and asked us to take
it there. Don went by way of the freeway and I drove to 8th Street and
then over to Park. I did ok but I was nervous. Where has my courage gone?
Thank goodness it was early enough so there was not much traffic. When we
got back Don went out to pull weeds and I took the plants out of the tubs
in the North yard because they were getting leggy and ugly and cut them
back and moved them to the front yard borders. They may live and they may
not but it was worth a try. Then Don sun-bathed for awhile but I was
hungry so I had my lunch. Niki woke up and came out at about 11:30 and
she ate and then started calling around and pretty soon Nicole came over
and has been here ever since. Sandy came for a little while but she left.
I wasn't in the mood for making dinner so we ended up having tuna
sandwiches with cukes and tomatoes. It is too hot to really get very
interested in food. I made Don a milk shake in mid afternoon so he is not
going hungry. The girls fixed themselves something later. We watched the
local news but I didn't watch much of the national news. It seems to me
that the media is trying to make policy instead of reporting on policy of
the government. Peter Jennings pushed the situation in Bosnia and now out
he goes to Haiti and is pushing on that. I called Priss and she talked
about the Country Club and the people there. Don and I went for a walk
after 8. It is still very hot and now it is 9 and the air is still on and
Authony said tonight on the news that this will probably go on for
another week and a half. The car people called and said there was a lot
wrong with the Honda so I hope Rick won't be too upset.
July 15 - spotting - 98° but still very hot
122
It is 10:10 p.m. and we have just finished watching Shadowland with
Anthony Hopkins and Debra Winger and I cried so much that I am exhausted.
It was fantastic and so sad and beautiful. What an end to the day! It
started out ok. I fixed Don's breakfast and then did a very few exercises
and none that hurt so that limited me. Then Don went off to play tennis
and I went for a walk and it was ok. It hurts a little when I walk but I
can do it. Also helps in the early morning when it is cool and I have
rested. There was a little spotting again this morning. I haven't decided
yet whether to tell Dr. Foltz or not. Will see how tomorrow goes. Alice
called and asked me to coffee on Monday morning. When I got back from my
walk I washed and set my hair and then I made spaghetti sauce. Don went
to see his Hospice patient for a little while. We had lunch when I got
back and I read in the afternoon. We watered the lawn and tomorrow Bill
will mow. We watered every day this week and in spite of the heat it
looks pretty good. Talked to Linda. She is going to try making French
stew with chicken instead of beef. For dinner we had spaghetti, a green
salad, french bread, and chocolate pudding. Niki was going to have dinner
with us but then Nicole and Zack asked her to go to Lake Orovilla so she
went off. She was going to do something with Valerie later when she got
off work and she came at 9 and stayed in the apartment waiting for Niki
and they were late because the car broke down. I really didn't do all
that much today. I did check on the spices and combined and cut down on
the number of containers in the cupboard. Tomorrow is grocery day. I
don't have a very good list so far. I am tired but keyed up because of
the movie so I hope I will have trouble going to sleep. It is supposed to
be hot again tomorrow.
July 16
Well we woke up to a bright clear and soon to be hot Saturday morning. I
didn't have time to walk before going to pick up Mary. I read the
chronicle and had juice and a bowl of cereal. Found that a pair of
lavendar knit slacks from the missionary barrel matched exactly a
lavendar knit top I have had for awhile so I wore that to go shopping. At
Food Market I got some very tiny green beans, cukes and tomatoes. I spent
$23 at Food for Less and didn't get anything interesting and I spent
about the same amount at the Cannery and got the usual. Came home and put
everything away and then read a bit, changed the flowers and ate lunch.
Kept be reading Garden of Lies, ran a load of clothes. Niki got her
pictures she had taken of her. Don took Niki over to Sandi's and later
she called saying she was eating there and would stay the night there or
Sandi would come over to stay here. We don't know which and Don is asleep
on the lounge in case she calls. Watched the news - Africa is getting
worse and worse. Don and I went for a walk and when I came back I shaved
my legs, showered and put on tanning on my legs. No word from any child
today. Don't know what I am going to have for dinner tomorrow. Helen
Roseman called and invited us over for a drink on Thursday and then we
will go to the Red Lobster for dinner. That will be nice. I am going to
bed. I took my night pill a bit early and I am suddenly very sleepy.
123
July 17
I didn't write in this at the end of the day as I usually do and now it
is 12:30 on Monday but I must think back. We got up a little late and so
I did just a few of my exercises and then read through the paper quickly
before getting dressed for church. I wore the pink and blue flowered
dress - one that Linda sent down and I seem to wear it about once a year
but it was just right for today. When we got home I quickly changed to my
white terry cloth romper - my uniform for summer. I had put off ironing
yesterday so I got out the board and got everything done before lunch. I
looked behind the shower curtain in the apartment and there was a residue
of something brown around the built in soap dish and we are going to call
Zigler's pest control tomorrow. I read and dozed in the afternoon and it
was getting hotter and hotter so finally after 3 we turned on the air. I
suppose we should have done it earlier but it costs so much to run it
that I keep postponing. For dinner we had last night but better. I
drained the dressing off the chicken salad and put on new with more
curry. Heated the bread again and fixed cukes and tomatoes and heated
green beans. I had frozen the rest of a chocolate cake so I thawed that.
No word from Niki until about 8 when she said she was staying the night
at Sandi's. By that time I was in a strange mood. I am worried about Niki
as I was before her Mother came and I feel so helpless. Then the news
tonight was all so terrible with the Israelis and Palestinians fighting
each other right after they had agreed not to and over a million people
have fled Ruanda and there is no food or water for them. Haiti gets worse
and worse - well I could go on and on. So I told Don I thought I was well
enough for us to make love and we had vodka and orange outside and we
talked and that helped although we are both at a loss about everything.
Well we tried but it was not a success for Don and it hurt my back
although I said it didn't so we ended not so great but we will keep
trying.
July 18
Up at 5. Did my exercises today. I am gradually adding more and more. Don
decided to take my appointment at Dr. Swartz because I was going to see
Alice and didn't think I needed to go. I walked over to Alice's and we
had breakfast on the patio: cantaloupe with strawberries, juice and
toast. We talked and talked and it was wonderful. She has a gentleman
friend and she is enjoying it. I am so glad for her. When I got home I
made a macaroni salad and Don got back and the man from Zigler's Pest
Control came and we have carpenter ants in the apartment bathroom and
they may have a nest in the walls or the ceiling. They will spray
tomorrow for $50 and then once a month for the rest a year to kill them
all. It is a very complicated but it seems logical and it was that or
tear out the walls and hunt them down. Niki called and Don went to get
her. I went to S&S to get cantaloupe. After lunch we talked to Niki about
finances for fall. She is to get $95 a month and this will be for
everything. If she runs out of money she will just have to go without.
Then she gets $250 twice a year for big expensive clothes like a jacket,
coat, etc. she seemed to accept all this. She has to get good grades
because she [ ? ] taking driver training until she maintains a B average.
She will have to pay to take the training because
124
it is not offered in the school any more. Tonight Don and I went for a
walk and I used the yellow and orange inhaler and it is strange and I
feel shakey. I don't huff and puff but I don't feel quite right. Dinner
was good. I made a macaroni salad, toasted hamburger buns, had sliced ham
and baloney, cheese, pickles, tomatoes and lettuce and grapes and
cantaloupe. Niki ate with us and that was nice. Watched the news, called
Priss and then the walk. Oh and we watched Rough Guide, a travel program
on channel 9. I like it. I am going to get ready for bed and then watch a
movie called Married to the Mob with Michelle Pfeiffer.
July 19 - hot
I haven't done much in the last few days so today I got busy and did a
lot more. Did a few exercised but the old ribs rebelled and I quit. After
breakfast Don went off to play tennis and I walked to Safeway to get
grapes and a doughnut for Don. Came home and rolled out a pie crust and
when it was baked I made a chocolate mayo filling. I changed it a bit and
will be interested in how it tastes. Then I made the dressing and the
turkey. At 10 the man from Zigler's Pest Control came and he did the
inside and the outside of the house so hopefully the carpenter ants are
on the way out. He will be coming once a month from now on. By the time
he left it was time to eat lunch and at about 12 Niki showed up. She had
slept right through the spraying etc. I had promised Don I would read his
manuscript once again and so far have found no errors. I sent Don back to
Safeway to get vanilla yogurt and I had him buy another turkey because at
49 cents a pound that is such a bargain. Then the vacuum came! What a
time we had. Niki wanted a ride downtown and when Don got back we worked
on it together until we finally got it right. It seems to work very well
and the little hand one will be a great help. Dinner was simple because I
just redid last night and since Niki wasn't here there was plenty left
over from before. Then we wached the news and then I talked to Priss. We
had called Mike earlier but he had a client so he finally called back and
Emma and Karen are both sick and he was taking care of them. We watched
The Remains of the Day with Anthony Hopkins and Emma Thomson. It was very
good but the people were so repressed and unhappy but [ ? ] how life on a
great estate and how it was run. Now it is after 10 and I must get to
bed. The video for Don has not arrived yet. I am disappointed.
July 20 - 89°
We got up a little late this morning and both papers were already here.
Don read his card that I had given him and I told him about the Butch
Cassidy video that still has not arrived. Jenny spent the night at
Sarah's but she called and came home pretty early in the day. I fixed the
mashed potato dish, fixed the fresh veggies for the dish with dip for
tonight. I had most everything yesterday. I watered the plants, cut
roses, used the new vacuum for our bedroom and the room across the hall
and it looks very well. Don went to breakfast with Carl and he got calls
from all his children. Jenny called from Melbourne and Linda called two
times and Mike called two times so with his cards and calls he knew
125
he was loved. Cathy stopped by with a book and two funny cards and stayed
to visit till 8:30. We don't see her very often but when we do it is a
joy almost. I stuffed the turkey after I ate my lunch and had it all
ready to put in the oven and left a note about when to turn the oven on
before I walked to the library for my two hours of volunteer work. I got
pretty tired what with the walk and typing 60+ cards but Don came a
little early thank goodness and so I could leave. The dinner was
delicious. The turkey was tender the relish dish good, I had heated rolls
and the chocolate mayo pie was good so it was fine all around. Watched
the news and then talked to Priss and it went well tonight. Then Don and
I went for a walk and it was pleasant with a good breeze to keep us cool.
When we got back I pruned the crepe myette to look like a tree and I will
keep with it until it grows the right way. Tomorrow I plan to shampoo and
set my hair. Valerie was going to come here to be with Niki while we went
to the Rosemans but instead she is going there. Valerie will pick her up
after work. So now it is 15 to 10 and I am very sleepy so to bed.
July 21
Up at 5. Did my exercises found that Niki had fallen asleep in the
apartment. I did my exercises and ran a load of whites. Carl could not
play tennis so Don didn't either. I made up a bouquet of roses for Don to
take to the Hospice patient. I did the morning walk the Mall way and
stopped at Lucky to buy bananas and two packages of boneless, skinless
chicken breasts since they were $2 a pound. I had planned to iron but
didn't want to disturb Niki so I shampooed and showered and set my hair.
Was looking for something in the desk in the living room and came across
some pictures and we always love looking at the grand children when they
were little. Found one of the three York girls that was hilarious. So
then we had lunch and I read for a bit. Niki got up so I went over and
got the ironing done. I did my nails and Valerie came over and she and
Niki went to the Mall. I got ready to go to the Rosemans. Wore my white
long cotton skirt and long pink sweater. I love that outfit. We went at 5
and had drinks at the Rosemans. I like them so much and we have so much
in common with them so we have to catch up on children and grand
children. There are so many memories of when we lived on Arcadian and
they were just a block up the street. So many years have gone by but I
always feel so comfortable with them. We went to the Red Lobster and Don
ordered a bowl of soup and he ate part of my salad and then we split the
main meal and we still couldn't finish everything. We were home by 8.
Valerie and Niki had been here and a note said they went to 7-11. They
came back and then left for Valerie's.
July 22
Up at 5. The little puppy living on the corner cried most of the night
and I felt so sorry for him. He needed an alarm clock and something soft
in his box that he could cuddle up to. I didn't do much in the way of
exercise and I had a small bowl of cereal but still I seem to have
trouble getting back down to 100 pounds. At night the scales says 105 and
in the morning 102 but my stomack sticks out and I hate it. What have I
done this? I can't
126
understand it. I walked to Safeway to get nonfat cottage cheese and when
I got home I drove over to take Priss her books and her dish. When I got
back I washed the kitchen floor that was in bad need of it. I also used
the small hand vacuum and got down cobwebs, etc. I think I will be using
it a lot. Don says he is tired all the time so he made an appointment
with Dr. Foltz and will be seeing her next Thursday. I am glad he is
doing this. We had lunch and then Niki came home and was with Valerie for
awhile but then Valerie had to go to work. I read and dozed and then went
to the kitchen to fix leftovers. I cut up the turkey and put gravy,
potatoes, dressing in little dishes. Alice stopped by and I asked her if
she would like to come to eat leftovers and she said yes, so then I
thawed rolls made a raw veggie salad and got out more cranberry sauce.
Niki had planned to go to the concert in the park with Sandy but that
fell through so she ate with us. I always like having Alice come because
she is so easy. She ate everything and we finished up the pie for
dessert. Then after she left Niki asked to order a bathing suit and I
wanted some rubber shoes to wear in the yard but they were out of them so
that was not to be. Talked to Linda who was making plans with Niki and
Rose about when they were coming up. I guess Niki will be going the first
week in August. I am reading The Odd Woman by Gail Godwin. Real strange
and very southern but interesting. I too am tired tonight so I think I am
going to bed!
July 23
It is 10:30 p.m. and Niki is in the kitchen making popcorn and Sandi is
watching TV. I woke up this morning feeling just terrible. I felt as if I
had hurt my ribs today instead of on the 5th. I did a few exercises and
then read the paper. Got dressed and picked up Mary at 7:15 as usual. Got
things at the Market and then went ot the other two stores. Didn't buy
anything exciting. Got home and put everything away and then went for a
walk. It hurt to walk but I did it anyway. Got back and pretty soon it
was lunch time. I decided I simply had to lose weight so I drank Slim
Fast for breakfast and for lunch. For dinner I had a turkey sandwich and
some leftover raw veggies from last night. Ate fresh strawberries with a
little vanilla yogurt for dessert. I think if I can keep this up for
about three or four days I may loose the ugly two-three pounds that are
sitting right around my waist. I took Napersyn late in the afternoon and
the pain went away so I am going to try that tomorrow. Niki went over to
Sandi's in mid afternoon and didn't eat dinner with us. No word from
anyone today. Well Don got an E-Mail from Jenny. I must write to her
tomorrow. Talked to Priss and she wants me to go over tomorrow to look at
her top that she bought. Don and I went for a walk after the news. So I
guess I should not have waited and worked in the yard yesterday. I hate
not doing anything but I am not happy about pain. Truly a dull day and
probably tomorrow will be no different.
July 24- 100 pounds
It is really chilly when we woke up so instead of wearing my black and
white polka dress I wore the off white rayon slacks and the wool matching
sweater and I was comfortable.
127
When we got home we waited till 10 and then went to S&S and got apples,
Suka, tomatoes and some fruits. Then on to Food for Less where we got
cold cuts and beef broth. So when we got home it was just about time for
lunch. Another day of Slim Fast for breakfast and lunch but I think I
cheated a little more today. Still I had dropped some pounds but I have
to stay with it for awhile because I would like a flatter stomach. Don
sunbathed and I wrote a letter to Jenny. Sandy spent the night. She got
up at about 11:30 and ate breakfast and then Don took her home. Later
Niki woke up and she went to Sandy's because they were going to Salvation
Army to look for furniture but it was closed so she came back home but
then went to Nicole's. I made a good dinner: I fixed curry with ricearoni
and had little dishes with coconut, raisins and cashews. I had gone to
Priss' at 2 because she had a top she wanted me to look at and help her
decide if she should keep it. It wasn't right and we agreed that it
wasn't. We had a nice visit. We watched the news - the situation in
Ruanda is so tragic that it is painful to watch. Then we read and I
walked the mile of North Avenue. Then it was channel 9 and the stress of
Symor Bergman's 3-part series on for family. Finally Don called Niki and
she said she was staying the night so I took a shower, shaved my legs and
put tanning lotion on them and then we sat on the patio and had drinks
and then we went to bed and made love and it worked well for Don this
time and he was so pleased because sometimes it doesn't work. I called
the Smith's and got Genevieve [ ? ] because Jenny wants to know when the
memorial service is and then I called G. She had just returned from
Kansas City and said she would talk to the others and let me know and she
would send an E-mail to Jenny so that was my day.
July 25
We woke at 5:30 and it was chilly. In fact Don wore a sweater to take
Daisy to the Junior High. Right after my Slim Fast I got to work on the
luncheon menu: made the gus chops - which involves a lot of chopping
fixing the plate of cold cuts and cheese, did the pickles and olives and
then did a beautiful fruit plate or rather bowl with orange, apricots,
papaya, nectarine, pineapple and blueberry and then Don will put vanilla
yogurt on top and I had baked snickerdoodles last night. Don went to see
his Hospice patient and when he got home the nurse called to say that he
had died. Don said he thought it was near the end. He felt bad and called
Carl and they went for coffee so he could talk about it. I got eveything
done and set the table and then at 11:15 I took off. I drove to McFrugals
and looked at everything and then got some scouring pads. Then to Pier I
where I bought some earrings and a thing to hand back here for Niki. Then
to Gottchalks where I bought a pair of slacks for Don. Tried on clothes
and shoes but couldn't find anything that I liked or that fit. So got
home at 2 and Don said everyone loved the lunch and they had had a good
time. So that was nice. Got a very good letter rom Pauline. Dinner was
easy. We had last night's dinner plus the fruit and yogurt for dessert
and I had some of the summer soup. Don suggested that maybe we should go
to see the Aliens next spring. Since the last time we were there he got
very jealous about a man who had come to the house to see Pauline
128
while I visited in 1974. It was so ridiculous I couldn't believe it but
he wouldn't talk to anyone and just laid on the bed in our room. I didn't
find out till after we left what was wrong and I was furious. I vowed at
that time that I would never go visit them again with him. I just brought
it up and we haven't talked since. I suppose I was wrong to say anything
but what if something else set him off if we went again. I couldn't
handle it a second time. Well we probably won't ever go anyway so it
won't be a problem. I suppose I should not have said anything. I finished
reading his manuscript and now it is 10 to 10 and he is in bed and Niki
is in the apartment. I think I will read for a bit.
July 26
I am tired of the heat and I wish it were September and it isn't even to
the end of July yet. I walked to Safeway to get bananas and early in the
day it is really very nice for wlking. Niki is having trouble sleeping
and she didn't appear till 12:30 but she said she had been up till 3:30
in the morning. If this continues I think I will have to call Dr. Archer
because school will be starting and she will have to sleep at the regular
times. I am writing this on Wednesday because I got to bed late and
didn't do this. Strange how it is hard to remember the next morning. I
did two loads of clothes and did a lot of ironing. The pants I bought Don
are not quite as wrinkle free as they say but they are easier to iron.
Can't find anyone who can wear the pleated ones he bought and doesn't
like. I called David York, Jason and Craig but no takers. Don and I are
now talking to each other after the words about when we had been in Omaha
last time. We never actually confront an issue and I think we should but
after 50 years I don't think we will probably change. Butch Cassidy
finally came in to Roys so after dinner we went over and picked it up so
now Don has his birthday present. Then I went to SuStep Shoes and got a
pair of navy shoes for $35. I may take them back and get the plain navy
ones because I think they are a bit more comfortable but they may not
have my size. In the evening I watched Sudochrise about the part before
1950's when the French finally pulled out and Vietnam came into being. I
thought it was very good and if we had seen that before the Vietnam War
we would have had a different view of the whole thing. So I didn't get to
bed till nearly 11 and then the dogs at the corner house barked most of
the night. Dinner was a simple affair. Sandwiches, a green salad and
fruit. I am already tired of Slim Fast but I am back down to 100 pounds.
July 27
When we got up this morning we found Niki on the lounge in the apartment
wide awake and she had not slept all night. Still she was in a good mood
and came in and visited with us while we had breakfast. Then Don took her
to the Club and he went off to play tennis. She called when she was ready
and I went to get her. The rest of the day we tried to keep her awake. I
called and made an appointment with Dr. Archer to see her on Monday to
see if there is somehting we can do to get her to sleep nights and stay
awake days. I couldn't handle Slim Fast for lunch so I ate my cottage
cheese and fruit routine and then
129
walked to the library. Since Cathy didn't come as planned (she had a
meeting) I did my morning walk to Floral and back down Marzarita and then
with the walk to the library and a shorter one tonight at the Junior High
I got quite a bit in today I arrived at the library early enough so I was
able to pick out quite a few books and I did 67 cards and filed most of
them before Don came. The blood test got fouled up so we went back to the
lab and they took it again and then we went to SuStep and I got the plain
pumps in navy and they were cheaper! That was nice. Then to LaForce for
the pictures that Don is going to use in the book and I put the meat loaf
in the toaster oven, fixed summer squash, yuk. Don had a green salad left
over from last night and I had some fruit and I made a vanilla pudding
for him. Watched Iron Will typical Disney the extent that we fast
forwarded it and just saw the end. I just wasn't quite up to the good
guys and bad guys routine for the whole thing. It is geting on to 9 p.m.
and I will take a shower and then read for awhile. We talked to Jenny and
it was a good conversation. Niki ate again at strange times and now she
is at a movie with Sandy so Don will probably have to pick her up. She is
going to find it hard to adjust to school.
July 28
This day was a little bit different. It was a neating up time. We got up
a little after 5 to check on Niki. She was lying on top of the spread on
the bed in the apartment. Later she said she went to sleep at 4:30 a.m. this is crazy. She slept till almost 1. Well back to my day. After the
papers etc. I went outside and worked on the front border from the other
side of the fence. I cut back new growth because I didn't want plants to
go over the top of the fence. Then I pulled weeds on the outside of the
fence and swept going from one end to the other. I got a lot of stuff out
and it looks nice. Then I came in and got dressed and went to Mervyns and
Longs looking at things. Don had gone to the dentist at 8:45 and then I
went to the funeral of his hospice patient at 11:30. Today was also the
day he quit smoking again so it made everything doubly hard for him. He
was eating lunch when I got home. We called and talked to Mike. He sounds
quiet and somehow defeated. I think his ego is damaged and he is having a
hard time. He thinks he might come out in October. In the afternoon I
tackled the first cupboard in the SS. I threw things out and organized
the rest and it looks great. I then cleaned up the sewing materials
drawer in the apartment. I was baffled about dinner and finally ended up
making egg, cheese and cream sauce on toast and cukes and tomatoes. Niki
didn't eat with us because since she gets up at such strange times she
also eats at different times so I have just given up. She ate at about 8
p.m. I fell asleep while watching the local news and didn't bother with
the national news. Afterwards I talked to Priss and then Don and I went
for a walk. I find it very hard to accept the heat this summer. It is so
ironical. Niki spends all her time in the apartment without air
conditioning on and we sit in the regular house without it on. So we are
hot and she is comfortable. I wasn't careful about eating today. I will
try to do better tomorrow. If I can stay at 100 pounds I guess I have to
still have that but I would like to get back down to 98 pounds. I wish it
would cool off!
130
July 29
We woke at 5. Niki said she had gotten a little sleep but that Valerie
was going to call her and she would wake up then. Did my exercises, had
Slim Fast and Suka and read the papers. Then I got dressed and I did the
Mall walk and stopped to buy two bananas and Gravenstein's were on sale
so I got some but decided to get more and make an apple pie on Sunday.
When I got home the clothes I had washed were in the dryer so I then
decided to iron them and I got everything put away. Don had gone for his
x-ray at 8 and to have his pictures of his heart taken at 10 but then he
was finished so we had lunch and then I decided to go to Grinages and if
the white calf length white skirt was still there for $17 and if it fit I
would buy it. Well it was there and I got it. Then I decided to drive
over to The Shop and I looked at everything and ended up buying another
black pair of slacks with the straps and a pair of navy rayon ones. One
for $5 and another for $3 both at half price. I felt I had gotten some
very good buys. When I came home I made a tuna salad, checked and we had
some green beans and I made muffins. Valerie came over and Niki and she
went to see Forrest Gump with Tom Hanks and they loved it. Jenny sent an
E- mail saying she would be coming in September for John Colins memorial
service and would stay about 10 days. I want to go down when Niki is
taken. Don said he would take her down and I said we would take her down
and we will just have to work out something about Daisy. My feeling is
she could spend one night in a kennel and she would survive. Niki is
spending the night at Sandy's. Don is having trouble getting up
sometimes. He didn't want to make love and I didn't push him. I finished
the book Stone Heart by Luanne Rice and it was very good. Sophie has been
obsessed by her husband for a long time and she in turn hurts her
children. She kills him and eventually kills herself. It is very well
written. I am sleepy and am going to bed.
July 30
We didn't get up till 5:30. It was cool and clear though it would warm up
later and we turned on the air at about 3. I didn't get a walk in today
which always bothers me but there just didn't seem to be time. By 7:15 I
had picked up Mary and was on my way to the Market. Right now there is a
sameness about what is offered. So I got some peaches, cukes, tomatoes
and green beans. I did buy some basil and will try to make basil pesto
for Niki. Then on to Food for Less where I spent $32 and to the Cannery
where I didn't buy much and it came to less than $10. There was nothing
different or particularly interesting at either store. Came home and put
everything away. Don had watered the borders and pulled weeds because
there was no tennis today since Carl was in Susanville giving a speech on
the Health Plan. I cooked Daisy's liver and started the potato salad.
Then had lunch. My stomach didn't feel great so I laid down and dozed a
bit. Finished the potato salad and then shaved my legs, showered, put on
tanning lotion, pinned up my hair and read until it was time to get
dressed to go to Jackie's. I wore my new white skirt from Grimages and it
looks much better than the other one. Put on the dusty pink long sweater
and I feel so good in that outfit. So we took the potato salad and
arrived at 6. Niki had
131
come home at about 3. She seemed very tired and had a headache and then
she called while we were at Jackie's and said she and Valerie were going
to Sandy's and would stay the night. I just hope that she is actually
doing what she says she is doing. We just have to trust her. Nadia Longas
also is with her. Dana and Karen and Dale came with Rachael and Mark and
with three kids things were pretty hectic at times. But we had a good
time and the food was great: barbecued chicken, my salad and a fruit one
that I feel so comfortable with these people and I love being there. We
left at 8:30. Read till 10.
July 31
I woke at 5:15 and noticed that Don was not in bed. Checked and he was on
the lounge in the living room. His war wounds were bothering him. So we
both got up and I made Don's breakfast and then did my exercises and then
read the papers. Still had time to go for a walk. Met up with two dogs
out by themselves and without leashes I got nervous. I seem to be
paranoid about dogs since I got bitten last year. So I walked three extra
blocks to get home a different way. Went to church and Don thought Father
DeLeone's sermon was simplistic that he was impatient with him and he had
[ ? ]. We stopped at Lucky to get some more apples for the pie I was
going to make. I dusted and vacuumed and then we went to Holiday and S&S
to get more things I needed. Had lunch and then made the apple pie, did
the salad greens, fixed the green beans and the carrots. Fixed some
things to eat with our drinks. Niki called Don for a ride home and she
had bought a chair at a garage sale for $5 but she needs to cover it with
something. It isn't nuch to look at but it is comfortable. She wanted to
earn some miney to pay for the cover. So we let her wash the car for $5.
I don't think she did a great job but not bad. I don't think it wise to
give her a list of jobs for pay. She is getting a lot of money from us
now starting the first of August and that should be it. Dinner was good:
hamburgers, green salad, carrots, green beans, and apple pie with cheese.
Priss was fine. We had a drink before dinner and it all went smoothly.
After Priss left I went for a walk. Pauline called to say that Uncle
George had died last night. I must write to Martha. Pauline said that she
was taking so many pills and I said something like and then you will
probalby have to take your vitamins too and she said she had never taken
vitamins! We take so many! She said she thought it was controversial. I
didn't say anything more about it. It is getting along to 10 p.m. and I
will read for awhile and then to bed.
August 1
We stayed in bed till 5:30. It was so cool and nice I just hated to crawl
out and start my day. But we did it and I fixed breakfast and then did my
exercises and read some of the paper but far from all. Got dressed and
went for my walk. Stopped at Lucky to check prices of papayas (too high)
and then around to Walgreens to get index cards for notes and some witch
hazel because I read that it is handy to have around. Don said they
always had it at the house when he was a boy but I couldn't remember ever
having it at our house. Came home and changed the flowers, got Niki up at
8:45 and we left for Dr.
132
Archer's for the 9:30 appointment but we didn't get into see her till
10:45! Well I didn't go in but Niki finally did. She gave her a Rx to
help her sleep and told her to come back in mid August. We came home and
had lunch. I finished the book I had been reading. I also took some
recipes from their magazines while waiting for Niki and will try some for
a change. For tonight I made a quiche. Mary Yakich gave me the recipe. It
had bacon, cheese, onion, eggs and cream of mushroom soup and it really
was pretty good. Both Niki and Don said it was ok. Well they didn't rave
but they didn't gripe. I fixed cantaloupe and honey dew and sliced
tomatoes. Watched the news. Whitewater is a farce - just a Republican
play to make Clinton look bad. Called Priss and we had a good chat. Don
and I went for a walk and there was a breeze so that was a nice change.
Came back (Niki had gone to Nicole's) and took a shower and shortened my
black and white polka dot dress yet again. It just didn't look the right
length. So now I am going to read for awhile. I will shampoo my hair and
iron tomorrow morning: wrote to Jenny and to Martha and will try to write
to Pauline tomorrow.
August 2
I keep saying that Tuesdays are my best days and today was a good
example. Got up a little after 5. Fixed breakfast for Don. Did my
exercises, read the papers and got dressed and walked to Safeway. It was
very pleasant walking. When I got home I fixed the flowers and fed all
the indoor and patio plants. Then I made bread. I had washed the sheets
earlier so when they were dry I made up the bed. I wrote a long letter to
Pauline. We had quiche for lunch and it was good cold as well as warm. In
the afternoon I ironed a big load of things. Dinner was simple. I fixed
soup and sandwiches. It was at about that time that Linda called to say
that Cathy came to pick up Rose from Tahoe. They were to meet in Trucker
but Cathy ran into road work and was two hours late. Then Linda talked to
Niki and it seems that Kirk is doing so well with his sky diving and jet
skiis that he could let people go free like Rose and if Niki goes up the
same applies. Then she said that Don could bring Niki this Sunday because
some affair is going on in Reno and the traffic will be terrible so she
didn't know what to do about Niki. Later she called and thinks maybe
something can be worked out later. I was ready to weep. We have looked
forward so much to having some time to ourselves starting Sunday evening
when Don got back and now she may not go at all. We seem to really have
trouble when it comes to being by ourselves. Then we went for a walk and
when we came back we sat on the patio and Don said since we really have
no friends here he would like to move back to South Dakota. I must agree
that we are terribly isolated and although we talk to Cathy on the phone,
lot as well as Linda we really don't see them that much. I have mixed
feelings about South Dakota and we would have to think about this very
carefully but Don does have a [ ? ]. Well maybe tomorrow we will feel
differently but right now I really don't give a damn about just about
everything. I am very tired and am going to bed. Maybe tomorrow things
will look better.
133
August 3
I did so much yesterday and today was just the opposite. First of all I
didn't sleep well last night. At around 11 I heard Niki in the kitchen
and when I asked she said she was taking Turns because her stomach was
upset and something for her headache and Rx to make her sleep. It sounds
pretty bad to me. So I worried about that and was still upset because she
couldn't go to Tahoe on Sunday and on and on. The E-R had a long head
from Walgreen with lots of things for 29 cents so after I vacuumed the
cushions etc. on the lounge and did a load of clothes washing rugs, rags,
and furniture covers I got dressed and walked to Walgreens where I got a
lot of things very cheap. Then Don and I went to Big 5 and I got a pair
of Cherokee walking shoes for $26.68 and I am going to keep track of what
I spend my allowance on this month to see if I am spending money
foolishly. Came back and had lunch (oh yes we stopped at S&S for things)
and then walked to the library where I typed cards till 1:45 and then
filed them. Don picked me up. A card form Peggy Crandall in New York for
the summer and a long letter from Jenny. I had found a recipe for a fresh
tomato sauce for spaghetti so I made that and I made banana bread and I
made and frosted brownies. The spaghetti sauce was lousy. Threw that
recipe away. I had also made a crab salad and that was very good. Niki
called and wanted to be picked up and asked if Sandy could spent the
night and I said yes. We had secretly hoped that Niki would spent the
night at Sandy's but that was not to be. There was no regular news
because Clinton was giving a press conference and he is so articulate,
charming, funny and diplomatic. I called Priss and chatted with her. When
I worked at the library today I got her some books and I will see that
she gets them tomorrow. It is 20 to 8 and I am too hot and I am too tired
and I wish I were somewhere where it was cool and pleasant and I was
having a good time and had no one to worry about or I would not have to
be taking care of someone. Well since none of that is happening I will
quit for tonight.
August 4 - got hot today
It must be 10 p.m. Don is on the lounge asleep and I have been reading.
Niki went with Kasey at about 5:30 and she called later saying they were
going to a movie and she didn't know when they would be back. We wanted
to make love, have a drink etc. but not knowing whether or not Don had to
go get her we canceled yet again. My day? Pretty dull. Did all my
exercises this morning for a change. Then I walked to Safeway to get
cottage cheese. When I got home I started the watering and changed the
flowers. I was going to take the books over to Priss' that I had gotten
for her at the library but since Don was going that way I had him take
them. We had lunch and I read. Nothing much exciting happened. Don went
to Convenient Care and checked with Dr. Archer about having tests for
Niki. I want to know her cholesterol, thyroid, etc. so we are going
Monday for a blood test. I made a good dinner: chicken breasts sauted,
mashed potatoes, some leftover gravy, broccoli with cream cheese, green
salad and hot rolls. I didn't eat the potato and gravy part. Niki didn't
eat with us. I hope she and Kasey ate somewhere. Well just now she called
and she is staying the night at Kasey's. But the rest of the day watched the local
134
news - called Priss later and she was mad because I had not come over.
Sometimes I get pretty frustrated trying to deal with her and keep her
happy. I guess I will try to see her tomorrow. We walked after the news
to Walgreens and I got a birthday card for Alice. I have showered, shaved
my legs and put on tanning lotion. It will be nice when Winter comes and
I won't have to worry about my legs looking ok with shorts. Niki called
and is staying with Kasey so we had a drink on the patio and then made
love and it was great.
August 5
I got up at 4:30 because I wanted to set my hair so I would look ok when
I went to Alice's to have breakfast. Then I laid back down in bed until
Don was ready to get up at about 5:15. So then there was breakfast to
make and the papers and my exercises. Don went off to play tennis and I
put on my white coolotte and the lavender top and scarf and walked to
Alice's. Priss, Cassie, Packy, and Marge Willis made up the group. Alice
served cantaloupe with grapes, two kinds of muffins and sausage and
coffee. It was a nice idea but I guess I just wasn't in the mood for it.
Packy is so angry and abrasive, Marge runs on and on about her children
and there was much talk about PV and their problems. As I told Don it is
like his luncheon group when they talk about the problems at the U. He is
no longer there and not really interested. And I felt the same way.
Walked home and called Priss and took the book and obituary that she
wanted from the paper. She wanted me to try on a blouse and a pair of
printed rayon slacks. Didn't like the blouse but I will keep the slacks.
When I got home I wasn't hungry for much lunch and then I read and dozed.
I really didn't do much of anything in the afternoon. I talked to Linda
but there seems to be a distance there. I was upset when Niki couldn't
come up this weekend and I think she is feeling guilty or mad or I don't
know what. I feel bad for Niki because she gave up her time to Rose and
now there doesn't seem to be any time for her to come. Dinner was easy:
leftover carrots, beans, mashed potatoes, gravy and rolls and I made a
fruit salad and fixed the rest of the chicken breasts and they turned out
good with wine, lemon juice, ginger, curry. Watched the local news, UN is
sending up air strikes against the Serbs in Bosnia. Another counsel has
been set up in the Whitewater affair etc. etc. I was bored so I made
chocolate sauce, did pie crusts, made Don a milk shake because he didn't
feel well. He said something about it during dinner and after dinner he
laid down and then asked me to make the drink which I did. Niki didn't go
anywhere tonight nor did she have anyone here. There was E-mail from
Jenny. She talked about her interviews. The Princess Bride is on and I
think I will watch it.
August 6
We didn't get up till 5:30 and so I kind of skipped my exercise part of
the morning routine. I got dressed and did go for a walk so I got a mile
in while it was cool and fresh outside. At the Market I got nectarines,
tomatoes, cukes, and little tomatoes. I spent $20 at Food for Less and
$20 at the Cannery. When I got home Don was back from tennis and his war
wounds were hurting so he decided to lie down. I put everything away and
then
135
told him I wanted to go to Ross because they were having a shoe sale and
I wanted to see if they had any red flats. So off I went and I couldn't
find anything in red but I did find a sale of flats in pewter and they
were marked down to $6.66 so with tax it was $7.50. When I got home Don
was much worse so we went to Convenient Care and he got a shot. When he
got home he laid down. I had my lunch. Later he got up and had something
to eat and I made him a milk shake. He was shaky most of the afternoon
but he kept getting better. I got the ironing done. Talked to Linda who
called saying that Niki could come up on Monday the 15th and back on
Friday night. For dinner I made biscuits, scrambled eggs, cukes and
tomatoes. Niki was here both last night and tonight. I don't know what
the scoop is but she doesn't seem unhappy. She asked Don what war he had
been in since he had to explain why he had to have a shot. We all enjoyed
our simple dinner and then later I called Priss. I had planned to walk
again tonight but it is hard to do when it is hot. We had the air on
early today so it was really hard to think about going out into the heat.
Maybe I will do better tomorrow. Now I think I will go to bed. It is 10
p.m.
August 7 - Alice's birthday 10th
We got up real late this morning so I couldn't get a walk in before going
to church. We had a substitute priest from Berkeley who was nervous, read
from notes and had some good ideas but they did not come across well.
Came home, changed my clothes and finished the book I had been reading.
What people have written already but didn't seem to be in the mood. In
fact I wasn't much in the mood for anything. I decided to open the canned
ham that I got free some months ago when I wrote and complained about the
amount of fat in a ham that was supposed to be 97 percent fat free. Then
I made a potato salad to go with it and Don thought he would like
something for dessert so I made a chocolate cake and frosted just half of
it and will do the other half tomorrow. In the heat cakes with frosting
on them do not stay well. Don is still feeling a bit peaked after
yesterday so he laid down a lot today and watched TV from his bed. I
would like to have seen Cathy and her girls today but they so rarely stop
by. I know they are busy but I talk more to Linda than to Cathy. Niki
didn't go anywhere yesterday and the same happened again today. I don't
know what the scoop is. She doesn't seem unhappy, in fact she has talked
to me more the last two days than she usually does. She never volunteers
any information so since I don't want to pry we don't know what is going
on. After dinner we watched the news and then I called Priss and we
chatted. Then I went for a walk. We did not have the air on today and it
was pretty hot so when I got back I took a long shower and it felt so
good. Then I watched the last episode of the Bergman Family on channel 9.
It was good but very depressing. There was then a program about Nixon
down by the BBC and I started watching that but then I decided why should
I watch Watergate all over again so I went to bed.
August 8
Nice cool morning. Did all my exercises and went for a walk at 10 to 7.
Stopped by
136
Lucky to buy a papaya for Don. Got home and got Niki up so she could go
for her blood test. Could not find the sheets to take and just hoped it
was there. Wrong! So went up to Dr. Archer's office and it was not there.
Drove home and called Don at the Racquet Club and he said it was on the
divider so we picked it up and went back. Finally she got her lab work
done. Came home and changed my clothes and went to K-Mart to look at
toilet seats but they were too expensive. Will wait for a sale. Did buy
plants to put in the planters in the North patio - rosemary, berbew,
Lantana each on sale for $1.50. Came home and planted them and then had
lunch but Don said we should get the toilet seat so I called around and
found one at Fred Meyer for $11.99 so we drove out but I suggested we
check Home Base just in case and there they were $9.99! So we got one and
Don installed it and it looks great. The afternoon went by fast and I
made spaghetti for dinner. Had to walk to Lucky to get a loaf of French
bread and checked at Mervyns for a black top but they were too big. I
wish someone carried petites. So back to dinner, I made a green salad and
that was dinner. Afterwards I made oatmeal cookies. Don took some along
with a loaf of bread to the Heins because they have been giving us
tomatoes and I had him drop some off for Priss and he had bought a book
for Jackie and so I sent some to her too. Watched the local news but was
baking cookies and didn't check on the national. I seem to be very tired
tonight. I wanted to walk after dinner but there just seems too much so I
didn't do it. I did take a shower and now I will read a little and then
go to bed. Plan to shampoo my hair tomorrow morning early and wash
clothes and I must write to Jenny. She sent an E-mail today.
August 9
We keep getting up late. We wake around 4 and then go back to sleep. I
had three loads of clothes set out to be washed so I started the first
load right away. The coffee toddy had to be drained and I took care of
that and finally got around to doing my exercises. I read the papers and
then went for a walk to Safeway to buy two bananas. In the heat they
ripen so fast that I get just a few at a time. When I got home it was
time to fold the clothes and put them away. I woke Niki who wanted to be
up at 9:30. Valerie arrived later and they went shopping. I washed the
kitchen floor - doing a hurry up job but it looks better then it was time
for lunch and right now the nectarines are great so it is a joy to have
them with my raisins and cottage cheese. Priss called and we had a long
chat so we decided we would not need to call in the evening. In the
afternoon I made a macaroni salad and I read a little. I had shampooed
and set my hair in mid morning and it looked very nice. Now I have come
to dread going to the 1969 class reunion. I just hope by Saturday I will
feel better about it. Don has quit smoking yet again and his back still
hurts so he is about as much fun to be around as being at a funeral. He
is not rude but he says nothing and he mopes around and I want to scream
but I am trying to keep my cool. I wrote to Constance Menard who sent a
letter about George and I wrote to Jenny before I did a fruit plate and
got out the ham to heat for dinner. Now here I am again wondering what we
will have for tomorrow night. After dinner and the local news I went to
the front yard and trimmed
137
back the pyracantha. That took
Sarah's, a girl we do not like
Then Don and I went for a walk
9:30 I am going to read before
hope that tomorrow Don will be
quite awhile. Don took Niki over to
but no we can't say anything about it.
and now Don is in bed, Niki is home and at
going to bed myself. I hope without much
a little more cheerful.
August 10 - Alice's birthday - 93°
It was so lovely and cool in the early morning. I did all my exercises
even though my left hand hurt terribly. I suppose because of all the
trimming I did last night on the pyrocantha. My right shoulder also
bothers me as does the top of my right foot. I sound like a basket case
but it really isn't that bad. I checked the grocery ads that came in
today's paper and then I went for my morning walk. Today it was to Lucky
because I needed a papaya. Since they were not very good the man gave
them to me at half price so I got two. Also got some things that were 10
cents each. A big onion, apple and a lime. Will go back for more when I
don't have to carry it home. When I got back I did all the ironing and
went through some more clothes to take to the Discovery Shop. Had lunch
after Don got back from taking Mary to get Clipper tickets downtown.
Afterwards I set out for the library and it wasn't all that hot walking.
Did about 60 cards and got them all filed by the time Don got there to
pick me up. Came home and decided on hot dogs, leftover macaroni salad
and cukes and tomatoes. Then we had cookies for dessert. Watched the
local news but skipped the ABC. Read for awhile but didn't like the book
I had started. Don and I went for a very short walk at the Junior High
but it was just nice getting out in the cool of the evening. Talked to
Priss and she was fine. Don is not smoking. He is a bit sharp but not too
bad. I am sure he is having a tough time but he is trying. Niki is over
at the apartment watching TV as usual. I am sure she is bored. I cleaned
our two bathrooms this afternoon. I should have done it yesterday but now
it is done for another week.
August 11
It was really cool this morning when we got up. After Don went for tennis
I walked over to Alice's and left her birthday card and SD magazine in
her mail box. Then walked home, changed my clothes and cleaned out all
the violets and weeds in front of the front porch. Got the dolly and
moved the cement blocks round and square. Don had come back and had
watered the borders and then he helped me position the blocks. I needed
one more round one and will get that tomorrow at K-Mart. By the time I
did some weeding in the borders I was ready for lunch. I read for awhile
and then Cathy came and as always her visits are such a joy. Her whole
attitude toward her family her job and herself are inspiring. I always
get such a lift from her visits and I also forgive her that they are so
infrequent. Dinner was easy. I thawed a hot dish, made a green salad,
thawed french bread and made a vanilla pudding. Got a very short letter
from Pauline and a lot of copies of things she and Phil had written in
the Omaha Herald. Niki had Don take her to Sarah's and then she called
saying she would not be home for dinner but she called shortly after 6
138
and asked for a ride home Priss called to say that she was going out to
dinner so I suggested we call tomorrow. The news was bad. The president's
crime bill didn't even get out of committee. The American Rifle
Association put the heat on the congressmen and they remain scared. His
health bill is in shambles so things really look grim. Speaking of grim Don not smoking is grim too. I know he is under stress but I get tired of
being snapped at. Here we are going to have some time to ourselves next
week and he is going to be like this. Hell! We went for a walk without a
word spoken the whole time. I can't take that for very long. It is 9:30
and I will read awhile longer and then go to bed.
August 12
Up at 5 and it is now dark. Once the 21st of June is over it starts right
away to be back to dark in the early morning. Did all my exercises today
but my right side still bothers me and my right shoulder and my left hand
all hurt. I am not in great shape. Don took Nancy Riley to breakfast at
6:30. With a burst of energy (my last for the day I might add) I watered
all the indoor plants. Then I got out the Hoover and vacuumed the rug in
the apartment, did the TV room the kitchen and the living room. Then I
dusted everything. By then Don was home so I got dressed and went first
to PV to pick up a year book and visited with Bob and Susan Bruce.
Stopped at Safeway for peaches, Saffola margarine and cereal. All these
things were on sale with coupons so I made some good buys. Came home
piddled around and then it was lunch time. I read in the afternoon.
Boiled up some potatoes and hash browns, chilled a can of salmon, peeled
some tomatoes (they taste so good right now) and heated some green beans.
That was our dinner. Valerie came over and she and Niki were in and out.
Mrs. Mitchell took them to dinner and then they went to the band concert.
They are staying here tonight and the plan is that they will stay with
Valerie tomorrow night. I called Linda but Jason answered the phone. She
and Craig were at a race. He is now a bartender on the Dixie and he is
doing well and likes it. We talked about mixed drinks. Called Cathy's and
got David. They had gone to bed and got up at 3 and saw the meteor
showers and he said it was great. I tried to get back up last night but
didn't make it. I am so tired all the time. I think it is the heat. I did
work in a 40 minute walk just before lunch and that was ok but I don't go
with [ ? ]. Letter and pictures from Jenny today. She is very good about
writing.
August 13
We got up finally early and so I was able to walk my mile before I picked
up Mary. She was in pretty good spirits. At the Food Market I got
nectarines, cukes and some tomatoes. Then on to Food for Less where I
spent $28 and didn't get anything very exciting and from there to the
Cannery where I spent $20 but I got some good things. Yogurt (Yoplait)
was a fantastic bargain, for example. Came home and put everything away.
Linda called to ask that I call Cathy and have her make an appointment
with the girl who cuts their hair. I called but Cathy said she was on
holiday. Linda also said they would be bringing down the table for the
apartment and they will be taking the glass fronted book case that
139
is hers. I will have to figure something out to put there. Now I wish I
had gone to Danny Moser's sale when he went out of business. Too bad. I
washed clothes, I showered and shampooed and set my hair and did my
nails. Niki was spending the night at Valerie's so Don took her out to
her house. Then I fixed his dinner. He was real moody and unpleasant
which bothered me since I was going out for the evening to the 25th PV
reunion with Alice who picked me up at 7. I wore my white skirt and long
pink sweater, white pumps and purse and I thought I looked nice. Everyone
seemed glad to see us. We both just had tonic water with no liquor. I
talked at length with Luane Ludden and found to my dismay that both her
Father and Mother were dead. Talked to George Fish and his wife and we
ate at their table and also at the table was Susan Lawlor and since she
and I had had a lot of time together way back then I really enjoyed
seeing her. I had always been so fond of her. Also saw Leelah Andrews so
I didn't talk to a lot of people but I liked the ones I did talk to. We
left at 9. Got home and Don was in a good mood. He asked if I wanted a
drink and I said yes to a vodka tonic. I told him all about everything
and then we went to bed and made love and it was just great. So the day
ended on a high note.
August 14
It is dark and very cool in the morning now and Don wore a sweater when
he took Daisy for a walk and run. I fixed breakfast and did about half of
my exercises. I won't be able to go to Stars on Monday but hopefully I
can go W&F. We are talking about all three going to Sports Club. We will
see. Went to church, another visiting priest. This one was much better.
Went to Safeway and got chicken breasts and some peaches for Don and Niki
to take to Linda tomorrow. I picked roses, neated things up and at 10 I
went to S&S to get gala apples for Don but then their papayas were great
at $1.69. I made a good dinner today: chicken thighs with a whole big
onion sliced, soy, wine, and spices, fried rice, green beans, green
salad, hot rolls and blueberry crumble. I finally compromised and let her
take the white pole light from the apartment by the one that had been in
her room to the apartment rather than have her buy one the first month
that she is budgeting her money. Watched the news, talked to Priss and
that went well tonight and then I read for awhile and then went for a
walk. Watched to programs on C-Span. One was an interview with three
governors from Iowa, Tennessee and New Jersey. I must ask Pauline what
she thinks of the one from Iowa. Linda called and I filled her in on
things. She had seen Marijeanne two days in a row while they were at the
races. So tomorrow Don and Niki set out for Tahoe. I have plenty of
things to keep me busy while they are gone. I want to get the apartment
all ready for them. I have a meeting at 4 p.m. Hall of Fame tomorrow if
Don gets back by then. My stomach has been acting up today so I don't
feel great tonight and I think I will go to bed early.
August 15
Wow! What a busy day. Up at 5 and I did all my exercises today but
certainly didn't read much of the paper. Don and Niki left for Tahoe at
10 to 7. So then my day at home began.
140
First I walked. Stopped at Walgreens to get Advil since Cathy said one in
the morning and one at night had helped the pain in her knees so since
both Don and I have aches and pains I decided we would try. Got Walgreens
kind because it was cheaper. Also got the coffee that was on sale for
$1.99 and I was allowed two. Did the circle and got home tired because
these two pounds makes walking less fun. Changed into work clothes and
dug in. Washed the sheets for Niki's and the apartment beds did all the
towels and other whites. I cleaned the apartment bathtub, I have to get
everything neated up because Craig and Linda will be here this weekend. I
ran water on some of the plants in the South yard and on dry spots in the
North yard. Did another load of clothes so then there were the beds to
make up and things to be folded and then there was a lot of ironing. I
did about seven of Don's shirts for example, took a shower and finished
up my hair. Ate my lunch, fixed the liver and ramen for Daisy's dinner
and I fed her. I neated up the linen closet, worked on the kitchen closet
in the apartment. Don called at about 10:30 saying that both Linda and
Craig had suggested they go on the Dixie and so he would not start back
till after 1.1 thought it a great idea. So I worked steadily till 2:20
and then I sat down to read a book my sister had recommended some time
ago: Montana 1948. I finished it after dinner and I thought it was
marvelous. Told by a boy! Grandfather and Father were sheriff in a small
town and the other son was a war hero and Doctor. The Wesley (Sheriff)
family have a [ ? ] in Indian [ ? ]. She becomes ill and tells the wife
that the Doctor rapes Indian girls when he examines them. So the story is
about the fact that Marie dies and the brother has murdered her to keep
her quiet. Don got home after 5. I made cheese sandwiches, soup, sliced
tomatoes, pickles and chips. The ride home was hot and long and he was
glad to be back. Niki had enjoyed the Dixie. We went for a walk after
dinner. It was hot today so I turned on the air. It is 8:30 and I am
August 16
Up a little before 5. I do well till about 3:30. Then I wake up and go to
the bathroom and then I don't sleep so soundly after that but I myself I
get enough. I walked this morning the Mall walk and stopped at Lucky and
got some graven steins and a lime and one onion. Came home and watered
plants and thawed some turkey and at 10 I went over to the shop (Coucer)
because they were having $1 sale. I got a pair of flowered shorts and
then I found an LL Bean royal blue cotton dropped waist dress with a
white band at the neck and on the sleeves was for $1 and I love it. It
was too long but I shortened it and it is great. It reminds me of a navy
blue dress with white trim that I had in Albany that I dearly loved. Then
I went on to the Discovery Shop and found two things I brought home on
approval. One wasn't right but a navy blue top for $1 again is fine. So I
spent $3 today and I got good things. I made a turkey hot dish and a
salad with french bread for dinner. Don went to see Dr. Foltz and his
blood tests were fine but the heart valves which have always been weak
are about the same except one which is not as good and he is to see Dr.
Moffett and find out what he thinks about it. Well he had bought a pack
of cigarettes and we had a drink and smoked and sat outside and had
tidbits and it was the first time we
141
have done anything like that since Niki came! Then we went in and had
dinner and then watched the news. Later I called Priss and she talked for
almost an hour! We went for a very short walk and then we watched a
program that Cathy recommended. Don didn't like it but I did rather. It
is a satire of many things in our country: people who predict the end of
the world, a truck with things from Russia traveling through the USA etc.
I wrote a long letter to Jenny this afternoon. I am pleased with my
purchased it was $3 well spent.
August 17
We seem to be staying in bed a little bit later. I did all my exercises
this morning and I think the Advil (Walgreen substitute) morning and
night seems to be helping. When Don went off to tennis I walked over to
Alice's to get the 1969 yearbook to return it to PV. So that was my
morning walk. Then when Don got home I drove to PV and took it back. I
walked into the new library to see how it was coming and any hope of
having it open at the opening of October is a dream because I did put the
date at November 7 not after Christmas. Went to Thrifty to pick up prunes
since Linda will be coming this weekend and she loves them so much. Then
I went back to Stars! Had not been there since June 20th. Everyone was so
glad to see me. I felt much wanted. I didn't get too tired although I
puffed and huffed a bit. Dashed home and had lunch and changed my clothes
and then walked to the library. I typed the cards but didn't get them
filed by 3 when Don picked me up. There was an E-mail from Jenny and the
frequent flier miles from Warren Franklin and wife fell through so she
will not be coming in September. They have been trying to adopt a baby
and they went to South Dakota to get one but the new tribal laws made it
impossible. Priss called and invited me to lunch on Thursday and I said
yes and then when I checked the calendar I had my eye appointment at 1 so
I called and said no to lunch. Linda called and she has had ups and downs
with Niki. She sounded fed up. She talked about the Infant Fetal Syndrome
and said it best the Franklins don't get an Indian baby so I wrote a
letter to Jenny and told her that they should have the memorial service
in September (Genieve wants it at Christmas and Joseph wants it now).
Made a pasta salad for dinner plus leftovers. We watched the news and
then watched a five star movie Dead Again which was very good fascinating
reincarnation plot. We both enjoyed it very much. Don had put on the air
while I was at the library so the house was very comfortable. After the
movie I showered and then we sat outside and had drinks and cigarettes
and then came in and made love and it was great. The moon will be full on
Saturday but it was very bright and beautiful tonight. Nice day all
around.
August 18
We got up after 5 and since it was Thursday I didn't do all my exercises
and besides I just didn't feel like it. I busied myself around the house
till 9 and then walked to S&S to get some bananas, grapes, and a
cucumber. It wasn't too hot walking at that hour. By the time I got home
it was time to get ready for lunch and I fixed Don's and mine. I had a
peach with my cottage cheese instead of a nectarine and I made the
spinach dip for when Linda
142
comes this weekend. I was eager for 1 p.m. to come so I could get my eyes
examined by Dr. Shaw. So Don took me and when I arrived I was told that
my appointment had been on the 4th of August and I couldn't get another
one till the 10th of September since I had stood in the kitchen when I
made the appointment and written it on the calendar right then I
questioned the fact that I had the wrong date but could do nothing about
it. I wanted to cry if the truth were known but didn't. Came home and
decided to clean the apartment, cleaned the bedroom, vacuumed, dusted the
rooms. Then Don vacuumed the rest of the house and I did the TV room. By
then I had relaxed and accepted the fact that I had to wait on the eye
exam. For dinner I heated a TV dinner for Don of Lean Cuisine that he
said was pretty good. I ate the rest of last night's pasta salad. We
watched the news, the 49ers played the San Diego Chargers and were
getting beat. I called and listened to what Priss had done today. Then I
went outside and trimmed some of the bushes in the front yard. I will
have to get busy when the weather is cooler and do some weeding in the
borders. Niki called and they will not be here till Saturday afternoon
because Craig is not coming and Linda has to have her car fixed. She
sounded fine. Got a letter from Jenny. She wishes she never had to go
back to her job. I get the feeling she really doesn't like it. Talked to
Mike briefly and he was fine. Don got a copy of his blood report and his
cholesterol was 182 which is really good. He is in bed because his war
wounds hurt. I will read for awhile.
August 19
Up at 5:30 and I did all my exercises this morning. Don wanted a poached
egg and I fixed that for him. Since he had to take Daisy at 8:30 he did
not play tennis. I walked the Mall walk and when I got back he left.
Since we had vacuumed yesterday I dusted and neated things up this
morning and then I went to Stars. Talked to Tasha who said that Leanne
was working at the Sports Club so I am going to check that out. When I
got home I ate lunch and then washed the kitchen floor. Then I shaved my
legs, shampooed and set my hair and put tanning lotion on my legs. Niki
called to say they would be down today and later they called to say they
would be here around 6:30 - 7. So I made brownies, deviled eggs, sliced
tomatoes and since I had made the spinach dip yesterday I used that and
with french bread I had dinner ready. We ate at 5 but I gave them the
same thing when they came. They had a big station wagon and had brought
the Entertainment Center down and the three of them managed to get it in
the house through the study door and into Niki's room and that meant
taking the coffee table out so now I have to juggle things around again.
Don and I thought about what to put where Linda's bookcase was. I looked
at K- Mart but that was all cheapo stuff so I think we will make a book
case like the shelves in our hall. I will have to go to Home Base to see
what I can find. Now I have a project. Niki had bought a winter jacket
and a pair of jeans with her $10. She seemed pleased with what she had
gotten. Linda and I went for a walk and that was nice and like old times.
This morning Don and I went through the pictures for his book and I got
them all organized and we put each one on a piece of paper and now he
will have to write the
143
captions. Tomorrow will be a busy day since I have to buy groceries, work
at the Discovery Shop 10-1 and then at 3 I get a hair cut and I have to
make a potato salad and few other things for dinner. Don has gone to bed
and Linda and Niki are watching TV. E- Mail from Jenny today and a letter
yesterday.
August 20
It is 10 p.m. and I am glad this day is over. I wouldn't call it one of
my better days. We got up at around 5:15 and I did very few of my
exercises. Read a little of the paper and then got dressed and walked
about half a mile before picking up Mary. At the market I got green
beans, cukes and tomatoes and some peppers. At Food for Less I got things
but very little of things to eat. At the Cannery I didn't do much better.
Dashed to Longs after dropping off Mary to buy vitamins that were on sale
and then rushed home to put everything away and be at the Discovery Shop
by 10. Just made it. It was a long dull time. I didn't much care for the
two other ladies I worked with, especially the cashier and on Saturday
there are no people in the back room so there is nothing to bring out and
I could find nothing that I liked or wanted to buy so I was very glad
when 1 p.m. came. Then I drove home and ate my lunch and boiled the
potatoes and eggs for the salad for dinner. Then on to the Beauty College
so I could get my hair cut and I will know better tomorrow morning
whether it was a good hair cut. Somehow I don't think it was. I have
pinned it up and we shall see. When I got home Niki asked for money to
buy underwear and brassieres. I had thought that was part of what she was
to buy out of the $95 we give her every month. I asked Don about it and
so when she came back from Mervyns he told her and she was so angry that
she went to her room and wouldn't eat dinner with us. We had hamburgers,
sliced tomatoes, pickles, onions, green beans, potato salad and brownies.
Later she came in the kitchen and ate. Linda has gotten her book case in
the car and has sorted through all the books and has them packed in the
car and will be leaving tomorrow morning. We talked about Niki and she
feels if she is depressed and given some kind of Rx she should be seen by
a psychiatrist to monitor her. Somehow this added burden is just one more
thing and I get so discouraged and since she hates school and it starts
so soon that it bothers me and I just want out and I can't get P. Who do
we turn to? Maybe tomorrow I will feel stronger.
August 21
Woke up before 4 and couldn't go back to sleep. I hate it when that
happens. Well we got up at 5 and then the paper was late so two
frustrations very early in the morning. We had decided yesterday not to
go to church so we could take our time. Nothing much in either of the
papers though the crime bill passed the House but the Senate will be
tougher. We had planned to go to Home Base to see about the shelves, etc.
to replace the book case that Linda came for but then Jason called from
Santa Cruz and he was locked out of the car. He thought the keys were in
the trunk but he wasn't sure. Linda told him to call a locksmith to open
it. But she said would we stand by so if he called again so there went
144
our trip to Home Base and we had planned to drive around to see some
places I had wanted to see. Niki is still mad at us because we said she
had to pay for underpants and bras so she didn't talk to us all day. So
it was an unhappy day all around. Sometimes I think we are suckers and
children and grandchildren don't appreciate us. I had this terrible urge
to cry all day. But I watered plants, tried to find places for the
furniture Niki doesn't want in her room. Ok having an attic and/or
basement. I made an apple pie and this time I used graven steins, Romes
and Granny Smith and it turned out just perfect. I also made apple sauce.
Priss came over and brought a sweater I do not want and some pickles made
in 1991 that Vivian had given her. I gave her two pieces of pie and two
deals of apple sauce. We watched the news and then I wrote a long letter
to my sister. Then we went for a walk from 7:35 - 8 - Barbara Streisand
is on HBO at 9 and I want to watch her. Tomorrow Niki sees Dr. Archer and
she has a dental appointment in the afternoon but she wants to cancel it.
I told her she would have to call to do it.. .. Well the Barbara
Streisand concert was beyond my expectations. She was simply marvelous,
looked young and beautiful. Her exotic way and I loved every minute of
it. Cried, again and again when I heard two songs that I have always
liked so much. It was over a little before 11 and then to bed.
August 22
We got up a little after 5 on a lovely cool morning. I fixed Don's
breakfast and did all of my exercises except the arm ones. Read the
papers and then got dressed and walked to Safeway to get cottage cheese
and a doughnut for Don. I wore my off white shorts and a T-neck same
color with a little tiny print. You got two: it was lovely and cool going
but starting to get too warm coming back. Then I got dressed to take Niki
to Dr. Archer but then they called to say that because of the accident
she was not seeing patients today but to go to Convenient Care tomorrow.
Jeff Livingston was coming back from San Francisco and picked up Julie's
brother and wife and sister. A car ran into them and everyone was knocked
around but the brother is in serious condition. Changed my clothes again
to do some ironing but then changed again to take Niki to pick up her
schedule but they will be handed out the first day of school. Went to
Stars worked out very well. Had lunch and then we went to Home Base and
got white metal doors and shelves, etc. for the book case in the
apartment to the tune of about $60. Came home and couldn't find the studs
so Don went back for dolly screws but they didn't work either so it was a
day of frustration all the way around. Got dressed again and went to the
Board of Governors at 4 and didn't get back till 6. I had typed
instructions for Niki and Don said she did an excellent job and she left
a nice plate of food for me. I praised her profusely and she seemed so
proud. She has lost 5 pounds and I think she is really going to try this
time. She and Loren went to the Mall and I gave her $40 to buy clothes
but she didn't get a me. But they went to a movie. Will have to check on
the money. Talked to Priss and then did one in mile but now at 8:45 I am
so sleepy. But I probably won't go to bed quite yet.
145
August 23
Up by 5:30, did some exercises but not the full amount and then when Don
went off to play tennis with John Boyle (Carl and Lois have gone to
Wisconsin) I did the Mall walk. When I got home I did all the ironing
plus I did a load of clothes. So that took an hour. Then I woke Niki so
we could go to Convenient Care because Dr. Archer works there on Tuesday
and I wanted to find out what her tests results were. Well Niki dragged
her feet and so when we got there at about 11 they told us there would be
an hour wait. She refused to stay so we drove home and I ate lunch and
then we went back at 12. Had she gotten up earlier we would not have had
to wait. Her tests were all fine. Thyroid was normal, her cholesterol was
176. I had thought it would be very high but I was wrong. Now Doctors are
saying that we should be at 170! But Dr. Archer said she thought that was
pretty low and she was ok. She did say that she must have allergies so
she gave us a Rx for that and she thought Don might be helped as well. So
we got home at about 1:30 and I fed the dog and then Don and I took back
the book case things and got our money back and we looked at book cases
at Home Base, Austrius and WalMart and did not find what we wanted. So we
came home. I am nervous in the car driving myself or when someone is
driving and I am jittery and irritable. I wish I could take something
that would make me more relaxed. When I see Dr. Foltz I will talk to her
about it. I made a new chicken dish for dinner and it was ok. Not great
but alright. Niki says she has lost 5 pounds and at the moment she is
sticking to eating less and eating the right things but I know how hard
it is to stick to something. I have decided to use the music room as my
haven and I am here now. After dinner we went to the Walgreens and we got
the Rx for Niki which cost $10 and I paid. My money seems to go to things
that have nothing to do with me. Sandi came over this afternoon and she
and Niki went to the Mall and Niki spent $40 and got another pair of big
jeans and a green top. Still the baggy ones. Don is watching a movie. I
told him a little bit about the way I feel but right now there is nothing
I can do about it but try to overcome it. Talked to Linda this morning
and Jason found the keys to Craig's car and he is back in Tahoe safe and
sound.
August 24
Each day it is a little bit cooler in the mornings. Still by mid
afternoon we have the heat but not as bad. Don went off to play with John
Boyle again and I took a 35 minute walk to Lupin, Ceres, East and home.
Then I watered the plants and at 10 Don and I went to Chico Furniture to
look at book cases again but they were all over $100 so we gave up. Don
went to his luncheon group at 2 so I gave up on going to Stars. Instead I
ate at the usual time and then walked to the library with 15 minutes to
spare so I could pick out books. Don had to take Niki at 2 to have her
teeth cleaned at Dr. Goodens and then he picked me up. I went out to the
shed, found the green boards that we had used with the open box deals in
the TV room and I brought them in. There were three already in the
apartment for the paper backs and I got the rest from the pantry in the
hall and set the whole thing up so when Don woke form his nap I showed
him and he agreed that it would
146
do. Now I just have to paint everything white and that will be some job!
Well I also want a project. Niki had no cavities! For dinner I opened a
can of soup, ground up the ham to make sandwich spread and made a fruit
plate. Then I started to watch the news when Priss called saying she had
a bad stomach ache. I was concerned and wanted her to call her Doctor and
go to Emergency or Convenient Care. I called back later and she felt
better and so was not going to do anything. I hope she is ok. Don and I
went for a walk and we have been watching House of the Spirits. It is
good but doesn't really follow the book very well. I was not as jittery
today so maybe I will be ok.
August 25
This was a busy day. Up at 5 - did my exercises. Don off to tennis so I
cleaned the bathrooms and then got dressed and walked to S&S. I got one
papaya, one tomato, one cucumber and three bananas. Didn't seem like that
much but the sack got pretty heavy before I got home. Don was back so I
drove over to Montgomery Ward and bought paint. I had checked on Sherwin
Williams on the way and found that a gallon of enamel cost $17 plus tax.
So at Montgomery Ward it cost $11 on sale so I bought it there. I ate
lunch and then the work began! I moved six of those boxes out the
apartment to the back yard and the four boards and got to work. I painted
the boards and laid them on the chaise on a sheet and set them in the sun
to dry and then I did the boxes and they are tough because you have to do
in the inside and the outside. Tedious to say the least. Finally I was
done and then I came in and did the salad greens, thawed a package of
frozen strawberries and cooked the pasta, heated the spaghetti sauce and
heated the french bread. Watched the local news, called Priss at 15 to 7
and listened to her for half an hour and then we went for a walk. By then
it was going on 8. Don had gotten Four Weddings and a Funeral and we
found that it was a delight. We laughed and we loved it because it was so
sweet. Niki tells us that she is going to a concert in San Francisco with
Valerie and her boyfriend Ben and there parents. She asked if she could
go but she had already bought her ticket. It is Sunday night and she
starts school on Monday. Not a good idea but Don said yes. Mike called
today. He had spilled baby oil on a pillow case and wanted to know what
to do. He didn't talk long. Now it is after 10 and I must get to bed.
Tomorrow I give all those things listed [ ? ] the final coat!
August 26
We were up by 5:20 and I made pancakes for Don this morning. It was
overcast and chilly. Don went off at 7:30 to play tennis and I took all
the boxes and boards back outside to put the final coat on them. It was
tedious but the second coat was easier than the first one. By the time
Don got back I was all done. I showered, shampooed and set my hair. Packy
came to return a book and I visited with her and then I got dressed to go
to Stars. Today there were 11-12 people there. I was surprised. I worked
very hard and was glad when it was 12 because I had worked hard at home
before I got there. Came home and had my lunch. Ok I forgot I painted the
vanity in the apartment bedroom and I may
147
paint the walls with the same paint since I am tired of the yellow. I
think there would be enough. I put potatoes to bake in the toaster oven.
Niki said she did not feel all that great and spent the day watching TV.
Don went to see Dr. Moffett about his heart valve and for now there is no
problem but he is to be checked first a year unless something appears in
the way of symptoms. Don and I were both relieved. For dinner I made
twice baked potatoes, cold salmon, green beans, and cukes and tomatoes. I
would like to eat about half a batch of fudge or a huge piece of
chocolate cake, or anyway something sweet and chocolate. Watched the
news, the crime bill passed the Senate but the health bill is in
jeopardy. The Cubans keep coming. It is costing a fortune to house and
feed them. What a mess. Don and I went for a walk after I listened to
Priss for half an hour. It was cloudy but there was a beautiful sunset.
Clouds always help there. Loren came over and Niki went with him to Taco
Bell. Not great. Jenny said on the phone that Niki is being a stinker
about having to go to Australia at Christmas. She talked about it to
Linda but has not said anything about it to us. It is just 9:35 but I am
tired and I think I will go to bed. I wish there were something exciting
and/or interesting that I could look forward to but that is not to be.
August 27
I am upset tonight but will talk about what happened in my day first. Did
my exercises, walked the North Avenue mile and picked up Mary at 7:15. We
went first to Food Market where I got tomatoes, cucumbers, green beans.
Then at Food for Less and the Cannery - nothing very exciting or
different at either one. Came home and put everything away and by then it
was 10 a.m. In other words I spent almost three hours on groceries.
Walked up the block to check out a yard sale and then walked to Wards to
return some rollers that I didn't need and got a refund. By then it was
lunch time. I was tired so I napped a little. Then we find out that Niki
had bought a ticket to a deal in the Bay Area for $40 and she was going
with Valerie, Ben, Valerie's boyfriend and there parents. They are
leaving tomorrow at 8 a.m. and the concert starts at 2 p.m. and lasts
till 11 and then they are going to Valerie's house (she and Niki) to
spend the rest of the night and they will go to school from there. All
this she has known for some time and told us about it today. Don was
furious, tried to reach Valerie's Mom or the parents of Ben with no
success. He shouted at her she shouted at him and said some very nasty
things. She lied about things and that really upset me. Naturally we
think the whole thing is out of line but finally Don gave in and so I
just hope they get home safely and get to school on time. Had to call
Priss and to listen to her talk about her dog and her clothes when I was
so upset I wanted to scream was pretty hard but I think I did it. I would
just love to be here with just Don and not have all these problems. The
only time Niki says anything is when she is asking for money. She never
talks about what is going on in her life and I don't think she even likes
us. She just tolerates us and we keep giving her money and this and that
and we get nothing in return. I am not sure how long I can put up with
this. Don thinks we are making [ ? ] but I don't think so. Talked to
Cathy. Rose got grand champion and her goat and Marijeanne
148
came in third.
August 28
Well today was a better day. We got up at 5:30- I did very little in the
way of exercise and very little in the way of reading the paper. There is
so much it overwhelms me. I did see an ad for a sweater at Penney's so I
cut it out. Then while we were getting ready to go to church Mary called
to say she didn't feel up to going so we decided we didn't want to go
either. So Niki left at about 8 to go to the concert in the Bay Area with
Valerie, her boyfriend Ben and his parents. First I got all the books in
the book case in the apartment and the result looks fine and we saved a
lot of money. Then I ironed and there was a lot of it. At 10 we went
first to Safeway, then Holiday and then to S&S getting things like
papaya, gala apples, etc. When I got home I made a chocolate mousse and
then we had lunch. Afterwards Don took a nap and I drove to the Chico
Mall. It took me forever to find a parking place but finally way out I
found one. Went to Penney's but they didn't have small or petite so on
the off chance I went to Gottaballer and I found a small petite black
sweater and the same in a black t-shirt and the two for $37.50! I was
very pleased. Came home and tried them both on with various pants and
skirts and it was ok! Made a picadilli deal with lots of veggies and then
I fried the hamburgers on the stove so Don wouldn't have to fix the
barbecue. So we had a good dinner. Linda called saying she had the flu
and needed some TLC over the phone. We had a good talk. Then the news,
talked to Priss and a good walk. Don's wounds hurt again so he didn't go.
August 29
Niki called us this morning to say that they had gotten home at 3 a.m.
and that Valerie would bring her home from school. So I did all my
exercises and then I walked the Mall walk stopping on the way home at
Walgreens to buy glycerine since I wanted to do some bamboo. When I got
home I cleaned the stove and the adjoining counter and the sink. I called
Colleen Hope and made an appointment at 1:30 to see her. Then I went to
Stars and we had a long workout and I was glad when it was 12. Came home
and had lunch and then I got dressed to see Colleen. I wore white slacks
and a blue and white striped top. She was very fine. I like her very
much. Her son wants to be a monk in the Russian Orthodox Church. Since
they are Roman Catholic that makes it interesting. He is a sophomore at
Santa Cruz but he doesn't want to be there but in the a monastery. So I
guess everyone has problems. I go to work on Thursday 9:30 - 11:30. I
will do a lot of different things. She wants me to learn to use the
computer so I tried on ours for a little while tonight. When I got back
from the interview I made a meat loaf for dinner, did another deal for
five hamburgers those put in the freezer, fixed creamed potatoes, and I
had the veggie deal from yesterday plus leftover mousse. When Niki got
home she had Sandy with her and when I asked her about school she said,
"It sucks." A great way to begin the year. She talked on the phone for an
hour with Loren, didn't want to eat any dinner so she is back in her
school year routine - nasty and uncommunicative. I wish I
149
were somewhere else with Don. Watched the news, talked to Priss briefly
but she didn't have much to say. Don and I walked to K-Mart to look at
lamps for the top of the book case but nothing interesting there. Then to
Longs for vitamin B50 and tanning lotion. Now at 5 to 9 both Don and Niki
have gone to bed. We called Linda and she feels better. Tomorrow I work
at the Discovery Shop. I guess I will read for awhile and then go to bed.
August 30
Up at 5. Dark now at this hour. Did my exercises but not the weights for
the arms and upper body. Read the papers. Watered the plants and dusted
everywhere and then went for my morning walk. Went to Safeway to get
cottage cheese and two pears. Don and Carl were having a cappuccino so I
left my stuff with Don and could walk home without having to carry
something. I showered and pinned up my hair and then made deviled eggs,
sliced the leftover meat loaf before making my lunch. Don took me to the
Discovery Shop at 10 to 1. Betty Pyle and Peggy Sever were in the back
room and a nice lady I have worked with before was the cashier and we had
a fun afternoon. I worked hard but I looked at things too and ended up
bringing a lot of things home. I found a small lamp for $3.50 to put on
the book case in the apartment living room I found a gray sweater shirt
for Don and I am keeping a blue jacket $2 and a Talbot Knit top blue and
white stripes that I like. The rest I will take back. The dinner was
good: the meat loaf, eggs, green string beans, cukes and tomatoes. Don
had some chocolate mousse. We watched the news and then I called Priss
but we didn't have too much to say. Don and I walked but we did not do a
long one. Tomorrow I go to the Hospice office from 9:30 - 11:30. I wrote
a long letter to Jenny. Niki could not change her schedules so she will
have to take driver Ed and training which will come to $225! But she must
get a B average to do that. Then she had to fill out a form to have her
pictures taken and that was $29. I told Don we will have to get jobs or
go on welfare to pay for all this. Kids were here after school and the
phone rang a lot and Niki talked a long time on the phone so we will have
to have a meeting and talk about all this because we can't have this and
hope that she will get her work done.
August 31
Up at 5 and I did all my exercises and since it was Wednesday I checked
the ads. There was a lot about Labor Day next Monday and things to buy
for a big party. Had to check the roses and pick more and change the ones
that were past their prime. Don went off to play tennis, Niki rode her
bike and I walked the Mall route. I stopped at Lucky and got macaroons.
Don and I [divided] one when I got back. I really didn't feel like
walking that far and I really had to push myself. Don went to check on
the driver ed and training. Yes it will be $225 and it means six days
during Christmas vacation five hours a day for the Ed part and then the
training comes after. He said the woman was very nice and cooperative. I
got ready to go to Stars but really didn't want to. I had to force myself
and I thought I would not stay the course but I did. Then home and ate my
usual lunch and then got changed again to walk to the library. I had a
great desire to take the car or have Don
150
take me but no I walked instead. Did my stint at the library and then Don
picked me up. I did the salad greens and put a turkey hot dish in the
oven and thawed french bread. Niki said she was not hungry and didn't eat
with us. Loren came over at 4 and stayed till after 6. I suppose now this
is going to happen every afternoon and I don't approve. We talked after
dinner about the driving deal and about getting a B average. I told her
that she couldn't spend all her time helping Sarah and Sandy. She got
very angry and stomped off - her usual deal. At this stage I really don't
care. We watched Like Water to Chocolate - ok but not great after I had
talked to Priss. At one time during the day I said something to Don about
if she passed her test she will have a car and he said I hope so. I told
him if he got her a car I would leave home. I suppose he though I was
joking and I probably was but I would be so hurt if he did that. I don't
think I can ever quite forgive him for giving my car to one of the
children and then grandchildren and I was left almost having to shore
when I had had my own. After all these years it still rankles terribly.
September 1
The first day of September and a beautiful day and it didn't get all that
hot 87°! Now that is my kind of day. I didn't do too much in the way of
morning exercises and I didn't go for a walk till evening. I finished up
my hair right after fixed Don's breakfast and then after Don left for
tennis I got out my new vacuum and did the apartment living room, the TV
room, the kitchen and the living room and it is all so easy because the
machine is so light. Then I did the flowers and ironed the few things
that were out and so I was already to go to the Hospice office when Don
took me at 9:15. I was a bit early but didn't seem to make any
difference. Colleen is so nice and I had brought her a lovely rose in a
white vase for her desk. I had asked for mindless tasks and that was what
I got: checking on TB times, and on addresses, nice etc. and the time
went by just fine. Don picked me up and I fixed my lunch, changed my
clothes and read for a bit. Niki came home with Loren, Sandy, and Sarah
and took over the apartment. Before I could say anything Niki said she
didn't have any homework and I was not to bug her. Since I had not
planned on saying anything I was hurt but didn't make any comment. I am
having a hard time with all these people just taking over the apartment
and when I went over once Loren was lying on the lounge and I wanted to
say something but didn't. Since Niki's eating I decided to make a simple
dinner: scrambled eggs, toast, pears and cottage cheese but then Niki
said Loren's Mother had invited her to go with the family to have pizza
and don said yes so we ate the food and I guess I don't need to worry
about Niki's eating since if she can eat pizza she must be ok. We watched
the news, I called Linda who was packing to go to Lake Mead for the
weekend and Labor Day. She was flying out of Reno tomorrow morning. Then
we got in the car and checked the mileage to the Hospice office and it is
1.6 miles so I can walk at least one way on good days. I like that. I
made oatmeal cookies and they turned out good. It has been a busy week.
Tomorrow I will just have Stars and that will be good.
September 2
151
This was really rather a nice day. We got up at 5:30 and it was cool to
almost chilly. I did my exercises had my bowl of cereal, juice and toast.
Washed the sheets and remade the bed while Don went to play tennis. Then
Mary Wyle called and I told her Don would call her back when he got home.
I cleaned Don's bathroom and then when he got back he called Mary. She is
having trouble with Fred again. I walked the Mall walk and stopped at KMart to get vegetable powder but they didn't have any plain so had to go
to Longs and it cost $6.00 and we had been buying it on sale for $2.50
for years. Very discouraging. Anyway Don found a note written by Niki on
his tablet on the dining room table. It said she was going to Loren's
after school. He decided to call Loren's mother and the result was that
they talked for about half an hour and he was very impressed with her.
She said some sensible things and I think it will be good for her to be
with him and be around his Mother. I fixed Don's lunch and then went to
Stars and I got a good workout. When I got home I ate my lunch and then
read in the afternoon. Niki called from Loren's after school and said she
would be home for dinner but then later she called and said she had been
asked to stay for dinner. We had leftovers and then I watched the local
news and later I called Priss and we had a good talk. I did the North
Avenue mile walk and then read. Niki called about 15 to 9 and Don went to
get her. She was subdued but seemed ok. I think Loren's Mother had talked
to her. Don watched a movie and I read. My book is called, So This is
Love by Elaine Coffman and it is romantic but good. We talked to Mike
today. Tomorrow they are going on a week cruise with Emma. He was fine.
He thinks Clinton is all wrong on the Cuban deal and I agree. They
ordered all but sent back to Cuba. Castro is making Clinton look like a
jerk. Well back to my book.
September 3
Up at 5:30. Short version of exercise. Cooler today. I wore red slacks
and knit top. Picked up Mary at 7:15 and at the Food Market I bought only
tomatoes and some red onions. Nothing interesting or exciting at either
Food for Less or the Cannery. Back home at 9:15. I put the groceries away
and walked to a yard sale on North Avenue. I found a cream colored
cardigan for $1 but it is rather big and I think I will give it to Mary
Y. Then I went to a sale around at keyhole and I found a funny looking
little copper lamp for $2 and I bought that. Probably not such a good
idea. Meanwhile when I got home Niki was cleaning her room, even
vacuuming. We had lunch and I read in the afternoon and went out in the
North yard and dug up violets around plants and cut back the jasmine. I
made a small potato salad, fixed baked beans and got out hot dogs. Sandi
came over and we asked her for dinner. Then Loren called and his Mother
called and asked if it was ok for him to come over for a few hours and
naturally I said yes so he came at about 6 and stayed and then they
decided to go to Sandi's. Later Niki called and asked to stay the night
and she said Loren did call his Mother for a ride and if she couldn't
come Don said he would take him home. We didn't hear any more so we
assumed that she had come but it presented us because when Don called
back the Father said they had gone to the school. This makes us wonder if
they go somewhere during the evening. Then we got a letter
152
from Linda saying that she is concerned about Niki and she thinks we are
not strict enough and we don't ask her to do enough and we should lie
down rules and say if she doesn't do them she should go back to
Australia. We both found this unsettling. We will and to think about this
and the write a letter back. My but life is complicated!
September 4
We slept in late and thank goodness because I read till I finished the
book I was reading and by then it was after 12! I cut my exercise short
so I could read some of the papers and then I got dressed for church. I
wore the tomato colored suit with a black sleeveless top and black
accessories and I thought I looked very nice. F. DeLeone is back and
there is a deacon to be here for a few months before he is ordained. He
told us he has been in this country for five years. He is from Vietnam.
He speaks English, I think but he is very hard to understand. We stopped
at Safeway for a few things and then home I changed my clothes and then
watered and fed all the indoor plants but I still have to do the outdoor
ones such as camellias and gardenias and mums. I suppose I should do the
roses too. At 10 I went to S&S and got papayas, ginger, apples and
bananas. When I got back it was time to eat lunch. Afterwards I laid down
and dozed a bit but Niki called for a ride and Daisy wanted to eat even
though it was early for her so I finally got up. Made a terrific dinner:
roasted chicken with dressing, mashed potatoes and gravy, cranberry jello
salad, green beans, hot rolls and apple crisp for dessert. Niki and Sandy
came. They went bike riding. I supposed that Loren came for dinner
tomorrow night. Later his Mother called and we agreed that he should be
home by 7 since she is going to San Francisco in the afternoon because of
an early appointment on Tuesday for the little foster child they came
for. Niki said she was not hungry but she did eat a little bit. I didn't
bother with the news but went for a walk and then when I got back I
vacuumed the inside of the car and wiped everything down and tomorrow we
will wash it. Don says he is going to get something again starting
tomorrow. We will see. I called Priss and she had a good chat. We watched
Book Notes which was interesting. I think I will go to bed. Can't keep my
eyes open.
September 5
Both Don and Niki have gone to bed. Earlier I showered and picked up my
hair because tomorrow I walk to the Hospice building and should be there
by 8:30. We got up at 5:30 this morning and I did most of my exercises,
read the papers and then I walked to Safeway to get cottage cheese while
Don went to play tennis. When I got back I woke Niki and Don and I washed
the car and cleaned the inside last night today it was a simple to do the
rest and it looks so nice. I would like to do it once a week because I
hate it when it is all dusty and grimy. After that I got the clippers and
I tried to cut back some of the bushes in the front yard that have gotten
too big. I must also feed the mums and the camellias but that will have
to be another day. Don took Niki to Loren's and then we had lunch.
Afterwards I did the salad greens and I cut the four steaks out of the
New York steak piece that Craig brought at Christmas. Later in the
afternoon I went to Safeway
153
again this time by car and got cantaloupe and corn on the cob. We wrote a
letter to Linda. I wanted to copy it over but Don didn't want to bother.
He has given up smoking yet again and is short and sharp and it is hard
to put up with this since it has happened too many times. I shudder to
think of the days ahead. He wanted me to call Genieve and find out about
the memorial service for John and she said the 24th at 6 p.m. when Niki
came I told her and that Don would take her down and bring her back the
next day and she was furious because somehow she thinks she can go down
days ahead but that is not realistic. She can't miss school and she can't
impose on Genieve. I tried to call her tonight to warn her that Niki
would be calling but got an answering service. Life is certainly
complicated these days. I just hope something can be worked out. I think
[I] will got to bed and have decided I am going to try not to get upset
about things. It does no good.
September 6
We got up at about 5:20. Not as chilly as it has been. I read the paper
and did my exercises, had a bowl of cereal. Don was having breakfast with
Mary Bock so he had just the essentials. I also do at Hospice at 8:30.
Having pinned up my hair last night it looked good this morning and I put
on white slacks and the blue and white striped top it got last time I
worked at the Discovery Shop. I started with there 10 to 8 and fought
through the traffic of McManus and Bidwell. Got there at 8:20 and no
Colleen and the secretary said she came at 9 so I figured I was not to
come at 8:30 till next week so I walked back home (three miles all
together) and she had called and wanted me pack and I had the time right
so I drove back and worked my two hours. Had lunch and read Daughters of
the World by Susan R. Shreve a very very good book. Dinner was a simple.
I put out the gravy, potatoes, chicken and cranberry salad from Sunday.
Niki rides her bike to school now and Don doesn't have to take and pick
up. Linda called wanting to know if we had heard again from Jason. I
reported on what he had said on Sunday. She called again tonight when she
got back to Tahoe. Niki got to dinner on time and was pleasant at the
table. Loren came over and I told him at 8:30 that he should go home and
neither he or Niki put up any kind of a fuss. I think Loren is good for
her. I just wonder what will happen if he decides he doesn't want to be
with her any more as he did with Valerie. Don is being very difficult
about not smoking. I know it is hard but he has done this so many times
that I have little sympathy any more. I know that is not good but there
is a limit. Now it is 15 to 10 and it is still warm and I suppose I
should think about bed. I talked to Priss tonight and said I would go to
lunch with her on Friday.
September 7
We got up at 5:30 to a cool clear morning. Don has had trouble sleeping
again. I did my exercises and since it was Wednesday there were the
grocery ads and Walgreens and so I made lists. The girls were going to
ride there bikes but then changed their minds so Don took them in the
car. So I got dressed and did the Mall walk but I cut it a little short.
Stopped at the Walgreens and got to decks of cards, Vitamin E on sale for
$3.00 and
154
regular vitamins so I spent $13 from my $140 that I had this month. I
want to get my hair cut and may call Jane from the Chico Mall tomorrow.
Both Linda and Craig have gone to here. So then I got ready for Stars and
worked hard for 45 minutes and then drove home and had lunch and walked
to the library. Had about 60 cards to type and then I got most of them
filed. When I got home and changed my clothes I made a chicken salad,
opened a can of peas, got the stuff ready for muffins and the fettuccine.
Niki stayed after school to make up last spring's tardies and got her
homework done. She has to do it tomorrow night too. She talked at the
dinner table, she likes psychology the best, is very fond of Mr. Cohen,
she is having trouble at PE class they are doing square deals and she has
never done it and everyone else has. They did at Bidwell every year and
she missed out being in Australia. She is worried that she will fail PE
yet again. She did the dishes and thanked me for the dinner. All very
different. Well I watched the news then I called Priss and we chatted.
Next Don and I went for our walk. Pretty soon it is going to be too dark
to walk after dinner. I showered, shaved my legs and put on tanning
lotion but I will be glad when the shorts season is over. I am already to
put on fall clothes even though they are not new. I will read for awhile
and then bed.
September 8
Again we got up at about 5:30. Maybe this will be it from now on. Did my
exercises and got Niki up at 6:30. When the timer goes off Daisy gets up
and heads for her bedroom and when I open the door she goes right by her
bed waiting for her to wake up. All the kids were here again this morning
and I told Don we should be glad. Last year she went with Don in the car
in the morning and then after school she also came alone to the car. We
may not approve of her friends but she has some and that is important to
her. Our parents didn't also approve of our friends. So when Don went off
to tennis I washed and set my hair and then I vacuumed and washed the
kitchen floor on my hands and knees since I couldn't get it really clean
with the mop. That took a long time. Then I made three-bean salad and
pretty soon it was time to fix lunch. Then I got dressed in my red slacks
and matching knit top and read till it was time to go to the Discovery
Shop. My bill was over $10 and that was the highest it has ever been. I
must put more case. Today I spent $1.25 - for a navy brassiere and some
little things to put on under my shoes. I got some other things they were
throwing out that I will keep or give to the church bazaar or rummage
sale rant. I worked very hard all afternoon and was tired when 4 p.m.
came. Got home and found a letter from Jenny. She is still so upset by
John's death and says that she and Barry are going to the ocean and she
is going to throw flowers in the waves, planting a rose bush in her front
yard in will at went on and on. Don felt she was going over the deep end
but I think she is dramatizing a bit but will be ok. He finally got so
upset he said he couldn't handle it and went to buy cigarettes. We had a
very sketchy dinner and Niki went to chucky cheese with Sarah & Loren to
like the games. She came back and made a tuna sandwich. Watched the news
and then went for a walk. Didn't call Priss since I will see her tomorrow
at lunch. Helped Niki find a picture of a true American for her history
155
class. She is going to be a TA for PE and that will solve her problem. I
am going to read for awhile. Made an appointment to have my hair cut on
Tuesday.
September 9
Up at a little after 5. Did all my exercises, had a bowl of cereal and my
Suka and read the papers. Niki's friends arrived and she rode off to
school on her bike with Loren, Sandi, Sara and ct be. I ran three loads
of clothes and got them all folded and then walked the Mall route.
Checked at Ben Franklin about two pieces of glass for the top of the book
case and it was $6. Too much. Came home and made ham salad for
sandwiches. Don came home and we visited and watched Women's tennis,
Vicaria from Spain beat the lovely girls from Argentina. Then I put on my
black and white polka dot dress and Priss picked me up. We went to Cory's
and we got a new waitress and she got our orders wrong so I had a lousy
lunch that cost $6. I was very annoyed but so it goes. Then Priss asked
me about a gray knit dress I had bought some years ago. It was the most I
had ever paid for a dress and I loved it but Priss told me I looked
pregnant and left and I never wore it again and gave it to Jenny. When
she asked me about it I just calmly told her about it. She didn't quite
know what to say. She is always saying things without thinking how the
other person is going to feel and I finally told her just what had
happened. When I got home I changed my clothes and made bread. Niki came
home in one of those moods where she doesn't [ ? ] to answer to when you
ask her much. For dinner I opened a can of tomato soup, made open faced
ham sandwiches, sliced tomatoes and put spinach dip on [ ? ] and had some
more 3-bean salad. Good dinner and a pretty one. I cleaned the bird bath
and spray painted the inside white and sprayed the reed bird that hangs
in the bedroom it was yellow like the wall and shows up better. Niki went
to Loren's and then she called and said she had been invited to dinner.
Kasey wanted her to come over but she stayed at Loren's. It is 8 p.m. and
I had better go take a shower and then I will read. Well it turned out
that we had a drink and went to bed and love for about 45 minutes and
then Niki came home and that was that. It was different. Not exactly
perfect but interesting.
September 10
We woke up at about 4:30 and it was chilly! Don got up and put a blanket
on and we snuggled and didn't get up till 6 so we had to hurry too but
already by 7:15. Don had Jackie's breakfast at 8 with the group and I had
to pick up Mary to go shopping so Don drove us to the Food Market and we
walked around together. I got lettuce and green beans. I had plenty of
tomatoes and there were not cukes. Then don walked to Jackie's and I went
to Food for Less. Shopping was dull today. There was nothing interesting
or different so I was glad to be done. When I got home I put the
groceries away wanting them went to Holiday to buy a beef roast since we
haven't had one for months. I had to pay $6.00 so it had better be good.
Stopped at a yard sale and got two very interesting copper candlesticks
and two sets of napkins. The copper will take a lot of cleaning. Had
lunch and read a little. Don watched a lot of tennis the late Spanish
girl beat Stephy Graff
156
and Agassi won later in the Semi finals. For dinner I got all the
leftovers out of the fridge, had cukes and tomatoes, scrambled some eggs,
and put spinach dip, picked beans, cottage cheese, ham spread, bread and
butter, grapes and cantaloupe so there was a lot of choice. Sandi was
here and ate with us. Watched the end of Butch and the Kid and then there
was the news. Talked to Priss and went for a walk. Don is watching
football, Niki was friendly today. Talked to us, vacuumed the bedroom
wing without complaint, and now tonight Loren and Sandi are here and they
are listening to music. We tried to reach Linda but with no luck. My hair
looks good today and now I wonder about having it cut really short. I
know it will grow out these ly if I don't like it but still. I should
have ironed today but I guess I can do it tomorrow. I am going to read
for awhile before going to bed. Then Don went to ask Niki when Loren was
going home. He opened the door to the bedroom and they were smooching on
the bed. Well that was certainly upsetting. So he took Loren home later
and nothing more was said. We will have to think about this.
September 11
We got up at 5 this morning. Another cool morning. In fact I wore slacks
and a sweater and it felt good. After mass we went to Safeway and bought
doughnuts and I had not had one for a long time so it really tasted good.
It is sad somehow because we don't like the new priest very well and we
pick at the sermon because they are so simple and almost childish or so
we think. By 10 I was on my way to S&S for papayas, apples, etc. then to
K-Mart for vegetable powder that had doubled in price then to Longs to
get gum on sale and Lucky for bananas. Finally home and it was time for
lunch. Afterwards I read for awhile. Niki was very quiet today after what
happed last night. We didn't say anything about it nor did she. She went
for a bike ride in the afternoon and Loren finally called and then I
guess she called over there because she came out and said that his Mother
had said she could come over and Don took her. I made a wonderful dinner:
a roast of beef with carrots and potatoes. A green salad and chocolate
pudding cake. Everything tasted delicious. To bad Niki wasn't here. Then
Don watched the news and I read, called Priss and then at 7 we watched 60
Minutes where McFarlane said Oliver North was a liar and should not be
running for the Senate. After that was over I took a shower and then we
watched Book Notes with Foote, the Civil War historian the guest. Aggasi
won the US Open and the Kansas City Chiefs with Joe Montana beat the
49ers. Linda called. They had been to a race. She had little to say and
we both felt that she was still mad about our answer to her letter about
Niki. Well you can't win them all.
September 12
It is 9:20 p.m. and Don and Niki have both gone to bed so I am here
alone. Well we got up late at 5:30 this morning and so I cut short my
exercises. Got Niki up at 6:30 and she was off to school on her bike with
her friends. Linda called to say that a 6.2 earthquake occurred a little
after 5 this morning and they were ok and that nothing had been broken in
their house although it was a very loud noise and some dramatic shaking.
I got dressed
157
and walked to Alice's to take a sweater that she is going to do some
sewing on. When I got home I changed my clothes. Don took down the blind
in the typing room and I washed it, did the window and the screen and
then washed the kitchen window and screen, cleaned the front don screen
and swept the porch. Fixed my lunch, went to Stars and then came home to
eat. Don had picked a gardenia and put it on my plate in the fridge. I
was touched! When I was done I washed the kitchen blind and they both
look just great. I read a bit, chopped the leftover potatoes and carrots
to fry, cut off some of the roast, sliced a tomato, warmed up the
dessert. So we ate dinner and then I watched the news. They mentioned the
earthquake and a young man stole a small plane and tried to land it on
the White House lawn and ran into a magnolia tree and killed himself. The
Clintons were staying at Blair House so were safe. Crazy. Tried to reach
Linda in the evening but all the circuits were busy. Priss called to say
not to call her. She was tired from having all her bridge people over.
Don went to see Dr. Folz late this afternoon but it was not satisfactory.
I think he will seek another doctor. I didn't go for a walk tonight. Niki
went off on her bike but she got home at about 8, talked to Loren till
8:30. So it was not a bad day. I hope I can keep doing the blinds and
windows. Tomorrow I work at Hospice and I get my hair cut.
September 13
Not quite as chilly this morning. Tonight Anthony the weatherman said it
was going to start warming up again so it isn't fall yet. Did my
exercises and read the paper and then got ready to go to Hospice. I wore
slacks and a cream colored long sleeved sweater to match and I walked
both ways. Went down Ceres and came back Cohasset. It was lovely walking.
I stuffed envelopes, put my stickers on and then added up volunteer
hours. All easy and the time goes fast. When I got home Priss had been
her and left some little quiches and some rum cake and a black dress that
she thought Niki might wear. I ate lunch and then at 12:30 I left for the
Chico Mall and for Regis and Jane who cut my hair. It is short and looks
a lot like I used to wear it. It cost $23 and I left a $2 tip. I like it
but it takes some getting used to. I stopped at Sees and got a pound of
candy for $9.60. Came home having spent a lot of money. I made a big
fruit salad, macaroni and cheese that was delicious, peas, tomatoes and
hot rolls. Talked to Linda. They left Friday for 10 days. Will be back on
the 26th. Jason has a house [ ? ] job and now he doesn't know if he wants
to go to school or not. He has nan come qt. To finish so I hope he does
it. Julie stopped by and dripped Rose at the dentist and she took black
dress and thinks she can do something with it. I called Priss and told
her that Julie had taken it and that pleased her. We watched the news and
then we walked to Walgreens to drop off a Rx. Loren came and they stayed
in the apartment watching TV. He knows he did not come on a school night.
I worry that they are going to get to sales. I bus plan worry. Well I am
September 14
Up at 5:30 after a rather restless night. My stomach still doesn't feel
great so I didn't do
158
much in the way of exercises and I didn't have much of anything to eat
and I skipped most of my vitamins. I pinned up my hair on top for a
little while and it looked ok but it still seems pretty short. Alice
stopped by with the sweater I had asked her to fix. She hemmed the turtle
neck because I had cut it down. I gave her a container of bran muffin
mix. Then I got dressed and Don took me to Dr. Shaw. I decided that my
eyes were just about the same. He thinks I will need a cataract operation
in about one and a half years on the left eye and still longer before the
right one needs it - something to look forward to, right? Don picked me
up along with a lot of books I had checked out. When I got home I made a
stew with the leftover roast and I did salad greens and thawed french
bread. Niki and Loren came after school and I think they had a fight
because Loren left very shortly. We ate dinner and then I watched the
local new. Niki asked Don to take her to Loren's so she must have called
him. I called Priss and she had had a good day going to the country club
for lunch and all the men made a fuss over her and she needs that I
guess. Niki she was in a great mood. Then we started watching a movie
called What's Eating Gilbert Grape. It was about a retarded boy of 18 and
his older brother Gilbert and we decided it was not a movie for us. So I
guess I will spend the evening reading. I wrote to Jenny. We heard from
her today. Mainly she writes about working on her thesis but she did say
that she misses a lot by being there instead of here. Well it is now 15
to 9 and Niki called to say that she and Sandi are at Loren's and need a
ride home. Sandi is there? The plot thickens. Maybe now Loren is
interested in Sandi. Don says maybe he is a serial lover.
September 15
Well this was quite a day. It started out with our going at 15 to 9 to
have our blood titer taken to see if our Hepatitis B shots had taken or
not. We drove clear across them to a beautiful new section I had never
seen before and paid our $64. A girl called Barbara Bock took the blood
and said she knew Jenny. From there we went to Safeway to get orange
juice, a doughnut for Don and some bananas then home I changed clothes
after taking a shower and went to see Dr. Foltz at 11. We talked about
seeing Dr. Heath and I got some Rx's. Then I came home and had lunch,
changed clothes again and washed the window in the living room Don did
the top part of the outside and that helped a lot because I am nervous on
the step stool. It looks great. Then Barbara Young called saying she had
found a note in Loren's room they had written to each other and they were
planning to sleep together. She thought we should know about it. We were
stunned. Don had talked to Mike earlier and had said he would call back
and when Don told him he said he thought Barbara should tell the kids
about it and that she was telling us as well. So Don called her back and
she agreed. Don took Loren and Niki to his house and Barbara called later
to say she had talked to them. Niki called around 7 and Don said he would
come get her at 8. We had called Jenny and told her the whole story and
she said she would talk to Niki about birth control methods. Don said
when he got her to bring her home she did not sit in the front seat with
him but sat in the back and did not say a word to him. Don decided we
would not talk to her tonight. He wants to wait till tomorrow. I
159
bet she will want to go to Loren's tomorrow and won't give us a chance to
talk to her. What a mess! It is hard to know what to do. I just hope she
doesn't do something foolish. It got very hot today. Up to 99°. We heard
Clinton's talk tonight and he made a good case for going into Haiti but I
don't think people are going to buy it.
September 16
It is 9:30 p.m. It has not been too bad a day. We got up at 5 and I did a
few exercises but the last few days I have not been very vigilant or
diligent about walking or exercises. Best that I get with it. After Niki
rode with Don to school I got dressed and walked to Walgreens to check
out some things but I didn't buy anything. Didn't do the whole Mall walk.
When I got home I cleaned all three bathrooms. I followed Dr. Foltz
advice and took three pain pills and I got a little shaky so I at some
snacks. Got dressed and went to Stars but Amy was not there and another
girl was the instructor and she was lousy. I left halfway through. So
then I ate lunch. Don seemed to have a lot of errands, faxing things,
talked to Ed, etc. I was reading Queen of Hearts by Susan Richards Shreve
and loved it. I watered the plants, cut roses, washed some furniture with
Murphys oil soap. Decided I couldn't think of anything for dinner so made
a green salad and Don got a pizza at Round Table. Niki finally got home
and asked Don to take her to Loren's. She said she would probably stay
for dinner but then she called and Don picked her up and then she said
she was going to the concert in the park with a girl called Mary. No last
may naturally and so Don took her down there. Then she and Mary arrived
later and then they wanted to go to Round Table because the junior high
kids were going to be there after dinner and her sister in the 7th grade
would be there. I talked to Priss after the news and then drove to Lucky
for weekend bargains: 5 pound of carrots $1 and some other veggies and
some boneless spare ribs. No invasion of Haiti yet. Carter, Nunn, Powell
are going to try to negotiate. If they don't succeed the invasions will
probably be on Monday. So another day has gone by. No sense to talk to
Niki yet. She is hard to pin down. Mary is staying the night. Now I think
I will get ready for bed.
September 17
Well this has been a day. It started out calmly enough. I made muffins
for breakfast and they were good. Then I got dressed and went to get Mary
to go shopping. At the Food Market I got tomatoes, green beans and corn.
Then went to Food for Less but really aside from dry dog food, canned dog
food and Dr. Pepper these being the big items I really didn't buy much
and it came to $22+. Then at the Cannery I got $18+ but at least it was
all food. Came home and put away and walked to one yard sale but didn't
find anything I wanted thank goodness. Mary last [ ? ] unknown and Niki
slept in and later went to Salvation Army. Mary's Mother took then and
Don went after them. Niki got a pair of corduroy pants for $3.50 and was
pleased. I fed all the camellias and did some pruning. For dinner I made
bacon and tomato sandwiches, cooked the corn, had a fruit plate and
chips. Mary went home at 5 and Sandi appeared right after so she had to
be invited to
160
dinner. Then she went to Sarah's and Don took Niki to Loren's. On the way
he talked to her about what had happened this week and he told me what he
said and it was just the right thing. He was afraid she would not say
anything or get very angry but instead she said she agreed with him 100
percent. What a wonderful surprise! Don was so relieved. I am sure that
he said it just perfectly. Far better than I would have said it. We got
in touch with Terri Reynolds and she is willing to take Niki to San
Francisco next Saturday and will bring her back on Sunday. She was very
nice. I called Priss but she was getting ready to go to the opera with
Bob Rankin so we agreed to talk tomorrow. That was a lucky break. So I
shaved my legs and showered and am now clean, creamed and neat. Don
called Jenny and told her what he had said to Niki and she was so
relieved. So it was a pretty good day. Now I just wish that Don and I
could make love tonight but that is not to be. Niki will probably have to
be picked up. And he has a headache. But I am not complaining.
September 18
It is 8:30 p.m. Don is watching a program about baseball and Niki has
just washed out some clothes by hand since the washer won't be fixed till
Tuesday if then. We went to church this morning and I felt I looked good.
Wore my ivory colored skirt, sweater, hose and shoes. We went to Holiday
and Safeway for groceries and then home. I walked to S&S and bought a
mango and some candied ginger. Niki went bike riding with Loren at 9:30
and didn't get back till 8 p.m. I was upset. We finally called. When I
got back from my morning walk I changed my clothes. I had stopped at a
yard sale and for 75 cents I got a good looking cotton top white with
wavy blue lines and a pair of bright blue knit pants. I washed the patio
that was very dusty and then washed off the bushes in the back yard. We
had lunch and I read Miracle Play by Susan Richards Shreve. I think I had
read it a long time ago but I liked it just as much this time. I made a
great dinner: boneless spareribs that were sweet and tender, mashed
potatoes, green beans and a fruit salad. There were still brownies and we
had them with ice cream. No Niki. I don't know what she ate at the
Youngs. Priss stopped by bringing me a new book by Siddons, and some
truffles. She stayed and visited for a little while. The news was that
President Carter, Sam Nunn and Colin Powell talked [to] the leaders of
the opposition in Haiti to step down. Clinton talked and although the
troops go in tomorrow it won't be a battle, at least everyone hopes not.
They will still have to go in to straighten everything out but it is
encouraging. Tomorrow will be a calm day but on Tuesday and Wednesday
there are a lot of things going on so I will be glad when it is Thursday.
Priss had not seen me with my hair cut and she said I looked like Mom.
Somehow I am not pleased by that. I guess daughters feel and when told
they look like there Mother. Linda called just to check if Jason had
called. She is having a wonderful time. Last night after I wrote in this
Don and I went to bed and made love and although it took a long time we
were both satisfied and I was go glad. Now this weekend we should have a
really nice time.
161
September 19-104°
Well this turned out to be a very hot but busy day. 105° was predicted
and it got to 104! This is ridiculous on the 19th of September. Don got
up at 3:30 and watched CNN and Carter, Powell, and Nunn ended up with the
signing of the Haiti generals signing that they would step down. The
military moved in but there was no shooting. At 8:20 I walked to Safeway
to get cottage cheese. When I got home I did the ironing and now I can't
wait for tomorrow and I just hope they can fix the washer here rather
than having to take it in. Pretty soon I will have to go to a laundromat.
Then we had lunch and then I washed the two kitchen blinds in the
apartment and Don's bathroom blind plus the windows and screens. They
look so nice. I will not do any more until we put up the blinds because
then I can wash the window and screens. For dinner I re-heated the mashed
potatoes. There was still some roast beef left and I cut that up and
added it to yesterday's port ribs, made some more sauce and heated it.
Added the leftover corn to some green beans and then made cukes and
tomatoes. It all tasted great and everyone was hungry. Priss had brought
three chocolates yesterday so that was what we had for dessert and Niki
even did some talking at the table. Watched the news, talked to Priss and
then did a good long walk. Don watched the baseball deal that is on
channel 9 for 9 nights or 9 innings as they call it. I watched some of
it. It was good. I am going to read for awhile.
September 20- 103°
Had a lot of bad dreams in the night and was glad to have it be morning.
I had pinned up my hair and sleeping in curlers is never conducive to
good dreams. I got dressed in the blue and white top I got for 25 cents
at a yard sale and blue knit pants and walked to Hospice. Did what I was
supposed to do and got off early since Colleen had to go to a meeting. It
was getting hot by the time I got home. Made my lunch and then since
there was time before going to the Discovery Shop I made a mock crab
salad, fixed carrots to be cooked for dinner. Don took me and we had a
very slow afternoon making only $43 and I paid my bill and the cashier
bought over $10 worth. But I found some good buys! Got a putty colored
skirt just like my black one I got at Grinages that I paid $52 for $2,
got a good looking pair of black and gray slacks for $3 and a top for $1.
Everything fitted and I like everything. On approval I got three pairs of
slacks for Steve that I will take over to Mary tomorrow and she can
decide. Don came to pick me up. He had been to the party for Steve. He
got a letter from President] Clinton and Dave and Marilyn were there and
Don said Steve cried when he saw Don. It was all very nice. I put the
dinner together and we ate at 5. Niki has been much better about coming
on time. She was at Sarah's but got here right on the button. She dyed
her hair black and it looks good. Linda called but we could not hear her
and she could not hear us so she said she would call later. Jason called
and he likes the house he and two others have rented and he has a job as
part time waiter and bartender. He sounded in good spirits. Don watched
two hours of baseball again. It gets so hot by late afternoon and I am
sick of the heat. I want it to be cool and crisp. When is it going to
rain for example? Talked to Priss briefly. She and Alice go to Walnut
162
Creek tomorrow. I hope she finds some clothes that she likes. I feel
rather down tonight. Maybe it is the weather. Tomorrow it is the library
and then I am going to see Dr. Heath. I dread that.
September 21
I am back to waking up at about 2 a.m. and then it is off and on sleeping
and waking and finally got up at 5:30. It cools off at night but the
daytime heat is a killer. I walked the Mall walk this morning and stopped
at Lucky for bananas, last week they were 25 cents a pound today they
were 49 cents a pound. I changed the flowers and dusted and watered
plants. I showered and decided I didn't want to walk to the library
because it was just too hot and so I drove. Just as I was leaving the man
finally came to fix the washer so I was able to put the first load in
before I left. There had been a break in the hose underneath and was
easily fixed. I was lucky because there were only 31 cards to type so I
was able to do them all and file them all and got home by 20 to 1. In all
there were four loads of clothes, one white, one light colored, one for
towels and one for regulars and little rugs. Then I went to Dr. Heath's
and explained about dropping the pro vera and he said it was ok but I
have to go in Tuesday to get a pap smear. When I got home I started to
fold clothes as they came out of the dryer. I realized then how important
the washer and dryer are. Don took Niki to Loren's after school at 5:30
and we don't know what happened but plans were changed. We had a simple
dinner of leftover crab salad, cheese sandwiches and sliced tomatoes. Don
took Niki to Sandi's and picked her up at 8. Now she is at Sarah's.
Naturally she is not going to tell us what happened. I decided to call my
sister and we had a good visit. We talked about Haiti, Castro, politics
in Nebraska and California. Today Clinton gave the orders to allow
American soldiers to stop Haitian police from beating people. What a mess
that whole thing there and I am worried that it can only get worse. I
worry about what Niki is going to wear to San Francisco she doesn't want
any advise from me and that makes it hard.
September 22
This was a good day. We got up at 5 and I had slept well. After breakfast
I changed the flowers, thawed the coconut macaroons, made coffee a second
time and Alice arrived at 7:30. Don took the car to be serviced at that
time and Niki had Valerie pick her up with her bike so she could ride it
home with Loren. As I write she still has not come home although she
called and Loren's mother is going to bring her home. So then after Alice
left I read a little, walked over to McManus school to ask if they could
use old plant containers and they said yes. So we had lunch and then I
changed my clothes and worked outside. I gathered up all the various
containers and there were a lot of them and put them in a great big
plastic bag and Don took them over to the school. Then I cleaned out the
corner under the palm tree and I cut back the plant that had so many
burned leaves, cleaned up the bookcase on the patio that handles flower
pots, plus tools, etc. and I swept and neated everything up and it all
looks just great. Swept the cement and it all looks so
163
much better. Tomorrow I go to K-Mart to get one more lantana and then
there will be nothing more to do. Came in the house and showered and
shampooed because I was hot and dirty. I had thawed a hot dish, made a
green salad and a vanilla pudding for Don. We had our dinner at 5 and
then I watched the local news - fires are still raging out of control. At
6 I walked to K-Mart to get vegetable powder because we were out. When I
got back I checked with Don about what the national news was and he says
the Pope is ill. Word is that he is failing fast. Later I called Priss.
She talked the whole time and didn't even ask about my day but that is
ok. I wrote a long letter to Jenny while Don took his nap this afternoon.
I really enjoyed Alice's visit this morning. We get along so well. I
think I will read awhile before going to bed.
September 23 - 89°
It is after 10 and I am one weary lady but I want to write this tonight
rather than to wait till tomorrow. We got up at 5 to a cool morning and
it turned out to be a very pleasant day. I think the heat is over for the
time being. Right after breakfast I got dressed and walked to Safeway to
buy sour cream and a doughnut for Don. It takes all my will power to
resist buying one for myself. When I got home Don had errands to run and
when he got back I went to Longs for a few items, then to Lucky for
grapes, and then to K-Mart to get another lantana, this time - lavender
because when I cleared out the area around the palm tree yesterday there
was one more wooden tub and I brought it to the patio and I wanted some
plant to put in it. Then to the Health Club and Luanne was there and so I
checked things out. When I got home Don went over and I think we will be
joining it. I changed my clothes and planted my new plant and then I fed
the mums with Miracle Gro before coming in to lunch. In the afternoon we
started to proofread Don's book. I stopped only to make and frost a
coconut cake. Niki came home with Valerie and went off again with her. We
had leftover hot dish, a salad and the cake. Then there was the news all of it either bad or depressing. Ruanda is a mess and the killing goes
on. Haiti is getting better but if we leave I think it will go right back
to the way it was before like in Somalia. After the news I went for a
walk and then I called Priss. Somehow tonight the conversation, well hers
since I didn't have anything to say, was so superficial and uninteresting
that I wanted to hang up. But naturally I didn't. Then the rest of the
evening we proofread and now it is done. Niki spent the evening at
Loren's and Don picked her up at 9. I ran a load of clothes and just now
folded them and so it is time to say goodnight. Tomorrow Niki goes to San
Francisco or Oakland rather to John Colin's memorial service.
September 24-91°
Up at 5 and I did my exercises. I am trying to do some with the 5 pound
weights instead of just the 3 pound. I was on the road by 7:15 to pick up
Mary. She was in a good mood today and we talked about the 100 year
birthday party of Steve's and she too likes the picture in the E-R. I
realize that prize or go up on groceries. Just a few cents here and there
be the adds up very fast. The Cannery didn't have anything exciting but I
did get
164
some things. Came home anad niki seemed to be in a rather bad mood. Maybe
she was nervous about going down to the memorial service for John. Dale
called to ask why Don wasn't at the brunch but he had not called to tell
him about it. Don jumped in the car and went right away so it was ok.
Niki was to be picked up by Terry Reynolds at 12 but they came at 11:20
and fortunately Niki was ready so they left. So I had some time to
myself. I did the roses and neated things up. Don watched football in the
afternoon and I read. Dinner was very simple. I had bought a little
shrimp so we had shrimp cocktails and then scrambled eggs with English
muffins and sliced tomatoes and strawberry sundaes for dessert. Watched
the news and then went for a walk. Called Pris sand when she asked how
things were I mentioned that Niki was in San Fransisco and she blew up.
Why hadn't she been told. We good for down something. Since Niki was here
she has not had a since to see us and Niki doesn't talk to her and reg'd
her knife on both sides and left the table without saying anything and
she doesn't like her and so Priss doesn't like her. It was a nasty
tirade. I was furious but didn't say anything. I would be happy to never
see her again but then I also feel sorry for her. As she ages she gets
more and more angry. Later we had drinks on the patio and talked of many
things. It was very pleasant. I smoked as did Don but I told him come the
1st of October and no more. Then we went to bed and made love and it was
just perfect. Don was so happy and so was I. It is nice to have the house
to ourselves but I want Niki to be happy too because we love her. She
called to ask for her Mother's phone number because I suppose they were
going to call her and all talk.
September 25
Up a little after 5. Not so cool this morning. Since we had decided not
to go to church we just took our time about things. I did all my
exercises, read the papers and cut out coupons. Then I got dressed and
told Don I was going for a walk. He decided to go along and we did a long
one. Down to the end of North Avenue, crossed under the freeway to the
other side and came back up to 5th Avenue and then down Monzarita to
North and home. It took about 50 minutes. I did a ver small load of
clothes, dark ones and hung them outside. I changed the flowers, we had
lunch, and I read and tonight finished Downtown by Anne Rivers Siddons. I
made a nice dinner: chicken thighs, green beans, mashed potatoes. Hot
rolls and a big fruit salad. Niki arrived right at 5. She brought a huge
banner with John's name, and date of birth and death. She had a very good
time. She read her mother's letter to the group. She said she read it to
Genevieve first and cried but didn't when she read it to the group. There
was a catered spread, people were happy not sad, well she was very [ ? ]
with everything and Genevieve made her wear something of hers and as Niki
said she looked like a girl. Interesting statement I thought. She called
her friends and then later on Don took her over to Loren's. I walked over
to Walgreens to get some vitamins and when I got back I called Priss who
was cool but did say she had blown her top and from now on she was not
going to say anything and mind her own business. Of course she won't. I
was cool and moved on to something else. If she thought I was going to
say that was ok she was wrong. Then she went into her "I am so depressed
165
and if it were not for this little dog" - routine and again I said very
little. Then I showered, pinned up my hair and watched Book Notes where
the author had written a book about Will Rogers. It was interesting. So
now I think I will go to bed. We had a nice 30 hours by ourselves. We
didn't have to worry about Niki and Don didn't have to take her anywhere
and now we are back in our regular routine.
September 26
Interesting day. Up at 5 after a restless night in curlers. Did my
exercises and when Don went off to play tennis I went for a 45 minute
walk. It was still cool enough at that time to make it comfortable. At 10
to 10 we both went to the Sport Club with our aplications filled out and
I was in my leotard. Luanne was glad to see me and I didn't have any
trouble fitting it. But it was [ ? ] work all the way. From 10-11 that
was more than I was used to but I kept up. There were about 15 - 18 of us
and the room is big and beautiful with mirrors in front and on the side.
Don went off with a trainer and got help on doing the machines. When we
got back I had lunch and then I decided to make chili. I had bought a
pound of ground turkey and I used half and ended up with three containers
for three meals. Then I had to get ready to go to the Hall of Fame
meeting at 4. Fortunately it was over by 4:30. I had made potato soup out
of the leftover mashed potatoes before I went so then with the one
chicken thigh left over I made a sandwich and we each had half and with
cukes and tomatoes we had enough. Niki had asked to go to Loren's and she
called to say she was staying for dinner. She rarely eats with us it
would seem. After dinner we watched the news and then I made spaghetti
sauce with the other half of the ground turkey. I got four containers out
of that so it was a very productive day. Went for a mile walk and then
came home and showered. Wrote a letter to my sister and enclosed a
cutting from the San Fransisco Chronicle about George Allen helping the
islanders fight the US Government about putting atomic waste on their
islands. I tried Priss at 7 and at 7:30 but no answer. While I was in the
shower she called and told Don she was too tired to talk. I don't buy
that but I am not going to fight it either. She is getting more and more
difficult and touchy. It is hard to know how to handle it. Now I think I
have done enough for one day and I am going to read.
September 27
Don got up a little after 3:30 and I stayed in bed awhile longer. It is
hard for me to go back to sleep once he is up making coffee in the
kitchen etc. I fixed breakfast and took my first pill that Dr. Foltz
ordered for me. So I ate a bit and then took the pill and didn't feel
good at all. I checked and all the over the counter part pills have 200
Mg and the one I took had 800!! I decided to take just a half of one each
time. By 7:30 I was feeling better. Niki was supposed to start back to
the Sports Club but didn't go. Don was upset. I left at 10 to 8 to go to
Hospice. Everything I did today was easy and I don't think I made any
mistakes. Came home and Don had talked to Loren's mother (Mrs. Young) and
suggested that the kids not see each other so often. He told her he
thought it would
166
probably not last very long but that a couple times a week and at the
weekend would be better. He felt she didn't take too kindly to all this.
Well I had lunch and then I made a potato salad and then decided to make
bread. I called Linda and heard all of her trouble. She doesn't ask about
Niki at all and I don't mention her. Niki came home and I asked her to
clean the bath tub and vacuum her room and she did it without any fuss.
Then Priss stopped by and brought some brownies and since I had not made
any dessert that was nice. She didn't say anything and we both acted as
if nothing had happened. Dinner was good: ham, the salad, green beans,
and I had sliced tomatoes, put crumbs and cheese on top and baked them.
Then we had the brownies with ice cream and chocolate sauce. Then while
Niki was outside the study having a cigarette Mrs. Young called again and
she was mad and Don talked to her at length. Next thing we know Niki was
lying in her bed and seemed to be asleep or pretending and Don was
worried that she had either picked up the phone or heard him from the
hall. We were both very upset. Well later she woke up and Loren called
and he told her that Don had said they couldn't see each other so much
and she came out and confronted Don but she was more annoyed than angry.
I think maybe we have overcome another crisis. At least I hope so. Well
that is enough for today. More than enough.
September 28
Got up at 5 but Don didn't wake up till 5:30. It was clear then but as
the day progressed it rained, sunned, winded, one after the other. Today
I went to the easier class at the Sport Club but I couldn't see much
difference. It was at 8:30 - 9:15 and afterwards I stopped at S&S. They
were out of papayas so I got three mangoes instead and even though they
were 79 cents they were still cheaper than $1.39, the price of papayas
there. The people came and cleaned out the septic tank but then they felt
that the leach lines were not in good condition so they told us about a
man who did that. He came and the news seems to be bad. It means putting
in a new line and the worst scenario might mean digging under the patio!
Not only would thousands of dollars be involved both fences would have to
come down and plants lost. What a blow! I walked to and from the library
because Don had to be here to talk to the man about the whole thing. It
rained a bit while I was going but I didn't really get wet. When Niki
came home she told me what her grades are at program: Science - A, Math A, History - B, Psychology - C+. None for English and PE. If she can just
keep those grades up how wonderful it will be. I thawed chili, made a
fruit plate, heated french bread and we had a good dinner. Watched the
news, did my mile walk, put in a call to Genieve Smith but got the
answering machine so left a message. Sandy came over to see Niki and they
went to play basketball at the junior high and came back with Sarah. It
is now 9:30 and both Don and Niki have gone to bed. I was afraid today
that we would not be able to use the bathrooms, run water etc. but the
man said that was ok. So we will just have to wait and see. Tomorrow
night is back to school night and Don and I were going to go but now he
thinks just I should go. We will see tomorrow. I want to look nice too so
I will have to decide what to wear. The weather will make the difference
on
167
that.
September 29
Up at 5 but Don got up a little later this morning. Since I didn't get
any papayas but bought mangoes I cut up one for Don and breakfast. I
could eat a mango every morning! Don went off to play tennis and I
puttered around. The Thrifty Rooter man came back and drilled the second
part of the and the man came to talk about leech lines, etc. He will try
to get back tomorrow with the backhoe, etc. but he probably won't start
on that till Monday. He will have to get county permits and then it will
be 2-3 days before it is done. The fence in the North yard will have to
be taken down in part and we will have to dig up plants and the lawn will
also have to be dug up. It is going to be an expensive mess. So we are
going to the bedroom in the apartment and we are not to wash clothes or
shower except in the apartment. When Don got back I went for my walk and
then I showered and washed and set my hair. Don went to the club to lift
weights. We had lunch and afterwards I ironed and got everything put
away. When Niki came home she asked to go to Loren's and now as I write
this at 9 she still isn't home but Mrs. Young is supposed to bring her. I
got dressed in my long putty skirt my long beige and brown sweater and
brown shoes. I thought I looked nice. We got to the back to school night
a little after 6:30 to see if we could find all the rooms. First we went
to American History with Mrs. Kohen, then to science with Mr. Wakefield,
then Algebra Math with Mr. Hayne then to English with Miss Cox and then
to psychology with Mrs. Kohen but we didn't go to PE where she is the T.
A. The classes seemed fine. They are reading The Good Earth in English
and I wonder a bit about that as a novel for American literature. Mrs.
Kohen is very enthusiastic and I bet the kids like her. All the teachers
seem to be stressing getting along with each other and preparing to get
along with others later in a job. They all mentioned homework etc. but
Niki has never shown us any. It was a bit strange. We plan to ask her
about some of this.
September 30
Up at 5. Had to got to the bedroom over in the apartment. Not using the
two bathrooms the kitchen sink, dishwasher, and washing machine takes
some adjustment. I made breakfast and then Don went off to play tennis.
When he got back I went for a walk before we went to the Club. I had a
hard workout. It seems like a long hour and of course it is 15 minutes
longer than at Stars. Don said he uped his weights but he feels he is
coming along. By the time we got home it was time to eat lunch. The
backhoe was out in front in the street but later the man came and took
down part of the fence on the west side of the north yard, dug up the
lilac and one camellia plant and took out the gate leading to the back
yard and then did some digging but then left leaving the big bright
yellow monstrosity sitting right in the middle of the back yard. I made a
salmon loaf, put potatoes to bake, made cabbage salad, heated green beans
and sliced tomatoes. Loren had come over so I invited him to dinner and I
sliced ham for Loren and Niki since they didn't care
168
for the salmon since I like it very much I didn't miind because we can
have sandwiches of it tomorrow. They left after dinner. Don drove them
over to Loren's house. I took the dishes over to the apartment and
washed, scalded and dried them there and then took them to our kitchen
and put them away. We watched the news, went for a walk and then I called
Priss. She lost her wallet and had to go to the bank cancel credit cards
etc. she worked at the Discovery Shop in the afternoon and they made
$153. I hope we do that well on Monday. My check came and I made $18 more
than last year. Not much of a raise. Talked to Linda this morning. We had
a good chat. She may be down next week but later in the month for sure
because they are coming to a wedding. I wrote a letter to Jenny. We got
one from her today. Niki just called and she is going to spend the night
with Valerie so they are coming by here to pick up her things. We had a
drink on the North patio, smoked our last cigarettes and then went to bed
and made love and it was grand!
October 1
I am so tired tonight that I have that hot feeling that I get when I have
over extended myself. This was not a wasted day. We got up at 6 instead
of 5 so I was late doing everything. Did not go for a walk, did a minimum
of exercises before I had to pick up Mary. Nothing interesting in the way
of food at the two stores where we always go and at the market I got
tomatoes, green beans and two cucumbers and some apples. Came home and
changed my clothes and decided to clean out the shed. I put out the bench
for weights, a little table, and two lawn chairs. Then I took all the
boards out and carried them to the yard because someone is coming to make
a new gate and maybe we won't have to buy boards. Bill came to mow and I
asked him if he wanted anything and he was thrilled to get the bench. We
had a simple lunch. I made Don a milk shake in mid afternoon. Niki said
she had stayed up late at Valerie's and so she napped a lot. Finally she
vacuumed the bedroom wing. I showered in mid afternoon and realized that
the shower curtain was not great. Remembered that Linda had left a shower
curtain so I got it out. Washed the cloth lining and put it on the line
and when dry Don and I put it all together and now a new one is hanging.
I don't know if Linda will care or not. We shall see. I made salmon
sandwiches and had soup and the rest of the cabbage salad for dinner.
Priss was going to the symphony concert with Alice so I didn't have to
talk to her. She found her wallet. That was good. I washed and dried all
the dishes and put them away. I got out the brass polish that Mary gave
me and polished all the rest of the brass except for the lamp in the TV
room and I will do that tomorrow. So you can see why I am so tired
tonight. Niki called to say that she had been at Sarah's. I knew that but
that Sarah's sister got ill and they took her to Enloe and she went
along. If she needs a ride she will call. Why she went is a mystery to
me.
October 2
We got up at 5 on this cool morning. Read the papers and cut out coupons.
Wore my putty colored skirt and brown mixtured sweater. When we got home
from church I
169
changed and then I started out to shop. Went to Walgreens for canned
mushrooms, jello, kleenex, then to K-Mart for veggie powder but they were
out so I went to Longs - same thing but I did buy a huge amount of
Vitamin C that was half price. So then I went to Payless and found the
vegetable powder, back to Longs to get Calcium. I still have to go back
to Payless because they have the calcium in large quantity on sale. I
missed that when I was there. So by the time I got home it was time to
fix lunch. I spent a lot of money on things that certainly were not very
exciting. Oh well so I ate lunch and then I polished my brass. Everything
looks so lovely it is as if things were made of gold! I did the lamp that
is brass and green stone. I got that at Salvation Army years ago for $25
and I treasure it. I think now everything that is brass has been
polished. I went to the south yard and did some trimming. The quince bush
will have to be cut way back this year. Daisy hates being confined to the
south yard so I hope the septic tank problem can be solved quickly. I am
very tired of washing and drying dishes by and in the apartment sink.
Priss called and Don forgot to tell me but finally he did and I called
her. I never talk at all. She just talks steadily. I try very hard to be
patient and sympathetic but I must admit that I grow weary of her. I made
a new dish for dinner: a crust or roll mix, sausage, hash browns, cheese,
eggs, etc. I wanted to try it to see if it would be good for Don's group
on the 15th. We all decided no! So I will have to come up with something
else. After dinner Don took Niki over to Loren's. I got all the things
ready to take to the church rummage sale and will drop them off tomorrow.
Niki went over to Sarah's to see how Sarah's mother was doing. Her
daughter who went to the hospital last night had a tubal pregnancy. Niki
came right back because the mother was not there. So Don went to bed with
a headache and he has stopped smoking again so things are rough. I
decided on the first I would not smoke any more. I had been taking a puff
now and then and I was liking it too much so that has to stop. Now to
bed.
October 3
We got up at 5. There was a wind blowing but it was clear. After
breakfast I walked to Safeway, got rubber gloves and got Don a doughnut.
I have been polishing everything in the house that is brass and now I
have no more to polish but there is a rich glow. I love it. At 9 I went
to the club where I had all kinds of tests, filled out forms, found that
my body fat was 27 - average weight 100 pounds, height 5: perfect on
bicycle because my heart went up where it should be, etc. made me feel
good. Then I went to my class but Luann was not there today and it was a
bit too vigorous for me so I left early. Don was done so we came home.
His report was just as good as mine so we are lucky. It was time for
lunch so we ate and then Don napped and I checked on things and got ready
to go to the Discovery Shop. Don had taken all the things for the rummage
sale to the church this morning. We made $83 today. It was a pleasant
afternoon. Nothing eventful. I brought home some things but they were too
big. I had done the salad greens before I went to the Discovery Shop so I
just had to make the salad and heat the sauce and cook the spaghetti. I
quick whipped up a chocolate cake and we ate it warm with whipped cream.
Washed
170
and dried the dishes, called Priss. Told her about the club and told her
I would get a pass so she could see it. I think she was a bit put out. I
may be wrong about that. We watched a program about China on channel 9.
It is on again tomorrow night. Ok but not great. Then I took a shower
over at the apartment. Filed my nails and finished a book by Rumer
Godden. Ok but not great. Now best that I got to bed. Tomorrow morning I
work at Hospice.
October 4 - rain! 1.3"
We woke up this morning to a chilly overcast day. After breakfast I
looked out and there was a drop or two on the patio. Don was dressed for
tennis but soon it was really raining so he gave up. I wanted so much to
walk that I put on my trench coat and with my see through clear umbrella
I walked to Hospice. It was chilly but I didn't get too wet and I felt I
needed the walk. I did a lot of different things today and as usual the
time went fast. Don called just before I was ready to leave to say that
it was raining hard and he would pick me up. I had not looked out but he
was right so I was glad for the ride. We ate lunch and somehow I was at
loose ends. I am so used to clear skies, warm temperatures, and all the
windows and doors open that it is almost rather a shock to realize this
is all about to come to an end. We turned on the heat to take the chill
off things and I sat down with a book and my stole around me and I think
I dozed a bit. Niki got a ride home and Loren was with her. They said
they were going to Chucky Cheese to play the games with chips Loren had.
They got back at about 4:15 and when Money Live was over Don took them to
Loren's. I heated up stew that was in the freezer, made a small green
salad, heated rolls and for dessert I cut last night's chocolate cake
across (what was left) added chocolate sauce to the cool whip and spread
it so that I had two layers with the good stuff between and on top. It
rained off and on all day and Anthony tonight said he thought we got
about 1½ ". There was a major earthquake 8.2 on an island off the main
island in Japan. They don't know too much about it yet. Jason called
collect and visited telling us about his classes and his jobs. Don called
Linda because it's supposed to be snowing in the Sierra but she said
nothing very much was coming down. I am rereading Five for Sorrow, Five
for Joy by Rumer Godlen. It is very good. Tomorrow morning is the Club,
in the early afternoon is the library and I would like to check in on the
rummage sale. The septic tank people did not show and that means another
day of inconvenience. I am sick of the mess.
October 5
Woke up a little before 5 and it was chilly so really didn't want to get
up but did it anyway. When I went to wake Niki at 6 she said she didn't
feel well. Her throat was sore and she seemed hot. So I told her to stay
in bed. She was very cold so I got her comforter that was stored away for
the summer. She went back to sleep. Don went to play tennis but the
courts were wet so he came home. I vacuumed the apartment and then at
8:20 I went to my exercise class. It was over at 9:15 and I did a few of
the machines but I couldn't remember the rest so just came home. I walked
to Walgreens to get cough drops for Niki.
171
The man had come again with still another load of rocks. I walked to the
library, typed about 40+ cards and called Don to pick me up at 2 p.m. He
said Niki had insisted that she wanted to go to school in the afternoon
and he took her. A far cry from last year at this time when she stayed
home so often and cut and was tardy all the time. I praised her for the
change. When I got home from the library I changed my clothes and dug up
a lot of day lilies against the fence in the south yard and moved the
climbing rose yet again. Don brought some dirt there too. For dinner I
made waffles, sausages, cheese and pickles and a fruit plate. I talked to
Priss and it went quite well. I called Kathleen Mildoon and they are
coming to lunch on the 13th. Don says their group on the 15th so I will
be doing some cooking. At 4 p.m. when the man had laid boards over the
septic tank and he said he could use everything again! I immediately
started washing clothes and did four loads. In fact the last one is now
in the dryer. What a relief. I showered, shampooed and set my hair in my
own bedroom. Now I am going to read till everything is dry and then I
will fold and put things away and go to bed.
October 6
We got up at 5. I fixed Don's breakfast and did my exercises. I was
surprised but Niki went to the Club. I thought she would want to sleep in
because she didn't feel well. Don went off to play tennis and at 25 after
8 I walked to the church or rather another place where the rummage sale
is held. I have worked my years setting up but I have never seen as much
stuff as there was today and more kept coming all day. I got right to
work unpacking boxes and bags. I worked till 11:30 and Don came to get
me. I brought home two oak picture frames, some playing cards, a little
stainless steel thing that had a cover and when I polished it turned out
very nice, a pair of trousers for Don but they were too big. I ate lunch
and then went back and worked till about 2. I got a tiny brass basket but
there really wasn't all that much that I wanted. Maybe I will see more
tomorrow. I made a potato salad, fixed baked beans, got out hot dogs and
buns. When Niki came home from school she said her ears hurt. I called
Dr. Archer and was told she was at the Convenient Care till 5 so Don took
her over and she has a sinus infection and both ears are infected and she
needed two Rxs. She was very cross and irritable and spent most of the
remainder of the day with Sarah at her house. I brought her a stuffed
animal and she did thank me for that. I guess the back yard is just about
done and what a mess it is. There is just plain dirt over most of the
area and the backhoe dug wide grooves in the north yard. It is going to
have to be all done over and I didn't know who to call. We find out
tomorrow how much is it all going to cost. Well not the lawn part but the
septic tank part. I shudder to think. I did all the ironing after dinner
because I knew I wouldn't have time to tomorrow. Then I called Priss and
listened to what she had done all day and all about Cindy. I was so
bored. Then I watched Jurassic Park. Well done and it did have a point don't play around with Mother Nature. Technically it was incredible. But
I was not all that thrilled. Don gave up but I stuck it out. Now I guess
I had better pin up my hair and go to bed. I can't wait to get a perm.
Pinning it up all the time is driving me mad. Bright sunny day. It
172
is supposed to get warmer all the time.
October 7
Didn't wake up till 5:30. Don couldn't sleep and had gone to the TV room
so my getting up wakened him. Niki had a hard time waking up and I
thought maybe she should stay home but she did get up and went off to the
Club. I puttered around the house and left for the church at 8:15. Don
was still playing tennis. Well we had a busy morning at the rummage sale.
I have no idea how we did financially the first day. I worked from 9-11
when Don came to pick me up. I found some interesting things: a black and
white sweater, cotton, too big but I shrunk it in the machine with hot
water and the dryer. A pair of red stirrup pants that fit and a pair of
gray knits to wear to exercise at the club. Also a rayon print long
skirt. Had lunch and went outside and worked in the yard. I dug up more
day lilies to take tomorrow. I cut back branches that had broken off with
the backhoe. It is very discouraging because there is so much to be done.
The bill came for the septic tank - $2,000! A lot of money and such a
mess to fix up after. Niki came home from school and asked to be taken to
Loren's and they planned to see Jurassic Park. I made a simple dinner:
grilled cheese sandwiches, potato salad, chips, sliced tomatoes and a
chocolate pudding for Don. I made oatmeal cookies and will take some
tomorrow to the rummage sale to share, and some for Mary when we go
shopping. I washed the things I bought hung them outside and pressed
them. Only trouble I can't wear any of them to church because they would
be recognized but I can wear them otherwise. Called Priss and I said I
would go to lunch with her either Tuesday or Friday. I can't invite her
to dinner when Niki is going to be here after she said she didn't like
her because it would be too awkward. I am very tired tonight and I hate
the fact I have to pin up my hair every night till the sides are long
enough for a perm. This could go on for weeks.
October 8
Didn't get up till 5:30 so it was a rush to be ready to pick up Mary at
7:15. Got tomatoes, green beans and some oranges at the Food Market. I
don't much like Valencia oranges but they are better than nothing. At
Food for Less I got dull things like dog food, Dr. Pepper, etc. and it
came to $31. Didn't do much better at the Cannery where I spent about
$10. Nothing exciting or different. Drove home and put all the groceries
away and then Don took me to the church for the sale. I heard that they
made $1,100 yesterday and we would almost that much today. I worked till
11 and Don picked me up. I got some little things but nothing fantastic.
Had lunch and then walked back so that I got there at about 12:15. This
time they were charging 50 cents a bag and that helped but still there
was a great deal to fold and box. Everything was going to the Battered
Wives Group and that is a good cause. The bad news of the day was that
Niki asked to speak to us because she had something to tell us. We sat
around the dining room table and she said Loren was in juvenile hall
because he got in a fight with his Mother and she was so busy with all
the children that she takes care of that she did not listen and he just
cracked and went to
173
attack her and is [ ? ] interviewed. She called the police and they took
him away. So Niki told only Sarah when she went over there last night but
I am afraid telling one person is like telling everyone. Niki insists
that he is not really violent but his Mother never has time for him. She
is a foster parent and there are about 6-8 children there. So Niki spent
the day lying on her bed crying. I talked to her about helping Loren
being more communicative so he doesn't hold everything inside himself and
then eventually blows up. What a mess! Made a simple dinner: bacon and
tomato sandwich for Don and a poached egg for me. Niki didn't eat but
later went with her friends to Chucky Cheese. I was so tired I was ill
but then I called Priss and we got into a fight because she claims since
Niki came we can't really be friends because I can never go anywhere or
do anything. She says I am still mad about what she said about Niki and I
said she had really hurt me and I was upset. Then she got even angrier
and so finally she hung up. I needed all these things today like a hole
in my head. I just wish I could talk to someone about all this but Linda
doesn't want to get involved with Niki. She wrote and told us that and I
can't talk to Jenny because she is too far away and Cathy agrees with
Linda so its a hard time right now and I feel very bad indeed.
October 9
We woke up before 4. Don wanted to get up but I talked him into staying
so we talked till 20 to 5 and then got up. I did my exercises and ran two
loads of clothes so the time was not wasted. There was very little in the
two papers of much interest. Not even any great deal with coupons. I did
my exercises and had my toast and then decided to dress for fall this
morning to go to church. I put on the orange and black printed challe
skirt and the new black sweater that I bought at Gottchalks dark hose and
black pumps. I liked how I looked. After mass we went to Safeway and got
doughnuts and bread flour, unbleached flour (both on sale) some pears,
cottage cheese. When I got home I changed my clothes and went outside and
found more branches that had been hurt by the backhoe and I raked up
debris. Then came in and had lunch. Priss called to ask if I still wanted
to go to lunch on Tuesday and I said yes. I did not call her tonight
since we had talked this morning. I worked hard to make a nice dinner
since a year ago today was when Niki arrived. I made twice baked
potatoes, chicken breasts with sour cream and wine, green beans, a green
salad and the graham cracker pie I made last night. When it came time to
eat Niki said she was not hungry so we ate without her. I felt bad. I
worry that young people should realize that sometimes they have to think
about someone besides themselves. It was an unkind and thoughtless thing
to do. I wonder how long she is going to mope over the fact that Loren is
in juvenile hall. I just hope she doesn't do her school work and her
grades go down. That would really be sad. He is just not worth it in my
opinion but I realize that she sees things differently. Don checked the
mileage and I plan to walk to the Sport Club tomorrow morning for the
8:30 class and then afterwards Don will come and we will do the weight
room together. We will see how that works out. Niki wanted to spend the
night with Sarah's cousin Damen or some such word but we said no. She
left and we thought
174
she would not come back. Don called Linda and she was telling us that we
should send her back to Australia if she breaks the rules but then she
came back. I still don't think sending her back is the answer. But then I
don't know what the answer is. Washed windows and blinds in the TV room.
October 10
Well thank goodness today was better than yesterday. I got up at 5 but
Don slept on so I made oatmeal - that pleased him - and did my exercises
and started the first of two loads of clothes. Don went off to play
tennis and I walked to the Sports Club. I allowed myself plenty of time
but really it wasn't all that far. Had a good class and then did some of
the weight lifting but Don came and so I quit. When I got home I vacuumed
the apartment, the back room and the kitchen and did some dusting. Then
we had lunch. Don spent the day checking on landscaping people. He found
one man who will come on Wednesday to look at the back yard and then he
called Bill Connors in Paradise who used to mow our lawn years ago. He
will check in on Wednesday also. After lunch I went ot Holiday for
bananas and grapes and to S&S for Suka, apples and ginger. I ironed the
clothes from the dryer and folded the rest. Niki came home and she was so
excited because Loren was out of juvenile hall. He had made peace with
his Mother and she came to get him. So he was back in school starting 5th
period. I was going to fix dinner but Don suggested that he get
hamburgers at Big Al's. Sandy was here so he got three of everything and
I had a cheese sandwich. I was not all that hungry. Valery's Mother is
getting married Saturday and Niki has been invited to the wedding. I
called Priss. She was not feeling well. It was her bridge day and she had
had people afterwards for drinks and 12 came and she was too tired. She
will let me know if she feels well enough to go to lunch tomorrow. I
would rather not go but will if she is up to it. I went for a long walk
after dinner and it was lovely, breezy and cool. Don watched football. I
showered, shampooed and set my hair. I am very sleepy tonight but will
wait a bit before going to bed. I guess I will read for awhile. Talked to
Linda briefly. Mike is coming out at the same time that Linda and Craig
are coming for the wedding so we will have a full house.
October 11
We just finished watching a two hour program about FDR - it was marvelous
and it will be another two hours tomorrow night. Again Don got up in the
night and went to lie on the lounge in the TV room. He was up first again
and then Don got up and took Daisy to the junior high. It was really
chilly this morning and when I walked to Hospice I had on a sweater and
was still not very warm but on the way back I was fine. Priss and I were
going to lunch but she called while I was gone to say she did not feel
well enough and I was rather relieved. We will go later. We ate lunch and
Don went for a nap so I took some apple sauce over and checked in on
Priss. She says she is depressed and she doesn't feel well but she was
just as sharp with me and cross as she has been lately. I think she hates
being old and since she is unhappy she makes those around her unhappy
too. It is a
175
difficult problem. When Niki came home she asked Don to take her to
Loren's and he did. So for dinner I made ricearoni with some leftover
chicken and had tomatoes, and there was a green salad for Don and bread
and butter. We watched the news and then I did my mile walk. Don had a
long talk with Linda. She said something interesting. She said that she
had some unresolved problems and she went to a therapist and she found it
very helpful. She thinks that eventually Jenny will seek help and break
away from Barry. The trouble is that he keeps helping her financially so
it makes it very hard to end the relationship. Niki came home before 9
and went right to bed. We really see her very little because she leaves a
little after 6 in the morning and wants to leave when she gets home in
the afternoon either to go to Sarah's or to Loren's. I keep wondering if
we are doing it right. Well we will just keep trying.
October 12
Up at 5 and did my exercises. Niki went off to the Club and later Don
went to play tennis. I wore a jacket to walk to my exercise class at
8:30. It was a good workout. I love it there. Don was there when we were
done. He was doing the machines. We got home and a short time later the
man came to give an estimate of the work in the back yard. We both liked
him very much. He saw Daisy and wanted to pet her and Daisy went crazy
over him. He has a shepherd and the whole incident made me think of
Princess Daisy and the lurcher. The sprinkler system will be more
elaborate, grass would cost about $1,000 less than sod, so will be a
matter of which we want. He thought the laurel that is dead is probably
the result of oak root fungus so he agreed with Bill Roberts. When that
was over we came in the house and I made macaroni and cheese for dinner
and then had lunch and walked to the library. There I heard that Nadine
Gustifie our president of the Discovery Shop collapsed, is in a coma and
has a brain tumor. Came home and fixed dinner. Niki came home didn't say
anything to either of us and stayed in her room didn't want dinner
because she said she wasn't hungry and then went over to Sarah's. I went
at 7 to the Card Center to hear about passing a bond for a third high
school. It ended at 8 and I drove home, relieved that I was making it
there and back because I hate to drive at night. I get so nervous and
scared. Don was very upset. Niki had just left and she had wanted to
sleep at Sarah's because it was so boring here. It is pretty hard to say
or do anything with Niki when she never talks to us and spends all her
time in her room listening to music or in the apartment watching TV. She
told Don she wanted to move back to Australia. At this stage I want to
say I wish you would. Now Jenny is living without her and I think liking
it although she would not admit it. We watched the second half of FDR and
it was very very good. Brought back all kinds of memories. We talked for
a long time about Niki. We don't know what to do. I wanted to weep.
October 13
It is 10:20 p.m. and I should be in bed. It was very chilly when we got
up this morning. Since Niki spent the night at Sarah's I thought she
would not make it at 6 a.m. but she
176
came. She keeps saying that she doesn't feel well and she isn't eating
hardly anything at least here. Don took her to the Club but then Valerie
called saying that the lights on the truck were not working so she wasn't
coming in that early so I called the Club and Niki called back to say she
had to come home to get something to wear. Bill Connor from Paradise came
about the lawn but he was going to be more expensive than the man in
Chico so finally Don decided on the one here. We talked to Mike on phone
and he said to look for the sod to a total cost about $2,500. We are
certainly spending money on the house and yard this year when you think
about the fence and trees in the front yard in January. Well anyway I
vacuumed and neated things up and made a macaroni salad, Cathy called and
she came in and we had a good time visiting and she brought some clothes
for the Discovery Shop. There were two party dresses and I asked Sandi
and Sarah if they would like to try them and they fit and they were
really thrilled to have them. They both found some other things as well.
Niki was quiet when she came home but not exactly hostile. Priss called
to tell me that the coffee next Wednesday for the people who work in the
Discovery Shop has been canceled because Nadine Gustifie who collapsed
with the brain tumor and was in a coma died! That is a shock. So since I
had talked to her in late afternoon I did not have to call her after
dinner and so I went for a 35 minute walk. I had not walked this morning
so it was good that I did it tonight. Now I suppose I had better go to
bed.
October 14 - cool very windy by evening
Up at 5:15 did my exercises and got Niki up at 6 - I asked her if she
were mad at Loren. She said he is under house arrest and can't go
anywhere for three months! And then after that he is still going to be on
probation! I bet he will think twice before getting in a fight with his
Mother again. Don didn't play tennis today but he had a lot or errands to
run. I showered, shampooed and set my hair and did two loads of clothes.
Then we got on old clothes and we took the fence down between the north
and east yard. Each board had four nails so I removed the nails. Called
Cathy and she said David could use them so we stacked then at the edge of
the driveway. Then Don took a sample of the leaves of the laurel to C&J
and they confirmed that it was oak root fungus. It is slow but it takes
about 10 years for them to die and we put them in 10 years ago. So since
the men were coming to start the back yard Don called them and that was
take out trees etc. So they will take all of them (9) out and haul
everything away and then start in on the lawn. We will have to put
something else along that fence and something that will do well and be
disease resistant. So then I got ready to go to lunch with Priss. I wore
my putty colored long full skirt and the sweater that I got at K-Mart
about 10 years ago and still love. We went to Jasco's and I had a turkey
sandwich. It was ok but with tip it cost over $7 and it just wasn't worth
it. But we had a long time and she came to see the laurel and the torn up
back yard. They still hope to have it done by next Friday when Mike comes
but I doubt if they will have it done and we will have to think about
what we are going to put in. I think maybe redwoods like in the front
yard with something and to add another 5 to 6 hundred
177
for taking out the laurel + putting something in. Niki went off to
Loren's for the evening and I fixed myself what I usually have for lunch
and Don had the other half of my luncheon sandwich. Watched the local
news and then went for a walk. Now I will read.
October 15
We got up at the usual time. The wind was blowing and it blew all day and
there was a chill involved. Before I picked up Mary I set the table with
the brown and white place mats and napkins, brown candles and two white
roses. Then I went shopping. Nothing exciting in the stores today so I
just got the usual. When I got home I made the fruit compote, heated the
sausages, made the egg dish that is baked in the oven, made my bran
muffins. Don got some doughnuts at Safeway. When everyone came and the
food was laid out I left. Walked to the Mall. Looked at the new craft
store that used to be the Shop 'N Save store. Got some ideas about things
but didn't buy anything. Looked in the mall and then went over to the
shop but they didn't have anything of interest. Stopped at Lucky and got
sour dough. When I got back the people had gone. I spent a restless
afternoon. I did do the ironing but then I didn't feel like reading and I
wanted to be doing something. Went outside and raked leaves away from the
camellias. Then I cut down the lavenders flowers by the apartment fire
place because it is in the way of getting things through. Don suggested
that we stay home from mass tomorrow and work outside and that was fine
with me. I called Mary to tell her. We have to move the wood from along
the south yard fence since it is going to be replaced and we will do that
tomorrow. Niki went to Valerie's Mother's wedding. She said it was very
nice. She said she wasn't hungry at dinner time and so again she didn't
eat with us. Just a few minutes ago Don took her to Loren's and she said
she would be back by 10. I decided to make fudge and we have gorged
ourselves on it. I got a turkey out of the freezer and it [is] in the
apartment fridge. I will cook it Saturday night. Then I cleaned the sink.
If someone had told me 20 years ago that on Saturday night I would be
cleaning the sink I would have said no way. Called Priss and she and Lyn
Berch were having a lot of drinks and sounded as if they were having fun.
We didn't talk long.
October 16
Woke at 5 and by 5:30 we were up. I did my exercises read the paper and
checked K-Mart and lo and behold the vegetable powder was on sale for
$2.00. I went over at 9 and got 10 and Don did the same thing later so we
won't be caught short for awhile. Before 8 I had checked the pie crust
and made the lemon filling for a pie. This was to please Don because he
loves it so. So then after we had both been to K-Mart we changed our
clothes and got to work. Don loaded up the wood that I had put on either
side of the fence going down the south yard. And we laid wood down around
the palm tree in the north yard and then Don would dump a load and I
would pile it against the fence and finally we got it all put up. Then I
cleaned out the shed to make room for things and then I raked the area
where the wood had been and cut back branches so the man can look at the
fence area.
178
Don will have to cut or rather saw some of the larger branches. So we
were both very tired but we had gotten so much done! I ate lunch and then
took a shower. I fixed twice baked potatoes in case Niki were hungry. She
has not been feeling hungry the last few days. She and Julie went
shopping but Niki did not find shoes that she wanted. I fixed butternut
squash, broccoli, cheese sauce and pork tenderloin in a good sauce. Fixed
a raw veggie salad so we had a really good dinner tonight. Niki did not
eat with us but since she and Julie came back they snacked. That Julie is
a very pretty girl and her blue eyes seems darker in color. She is
getting excited about going to Chico State in the fall. Niki went over to
Sarah's. I took a piece of pie to Priss and we visited for a little
while. Don and I have had some serious talks about our finances. When
this last big project is done we will have spent of $8,000 on the house
and land this year and the year isn't over yet. That is a lot of money.
And then we have Niki and that costs a lot of money too. Jenny gave us
$1,000 but that is just the beginning. So we are going to try to cut
down. Don isn't going to buy any more books. I am going to cut down on
long distance calls. Don wants to quit smoking. Well we are going to try
to spend less. If only substituting were what it was a few years ago that
would help but those days are over. I am very tired so I will read for
awhile and then go to bed.
October 17
We got up at 5 and it was dark and chilly. I made Don's breakfast and
then I did my exercises. Woke Niki at 6 and Don took her to the Club. Don
went off to play tennis and I walked to the Club. Did my 45 minutes of
aerobics and then walked home. When I got here Don was relieved to see
me. He had forgotten I was at the Club. I showered and pinned up my hair
and then it was time for lunch. The man who is going to do the work in
the back yard called to say his crew would be here on Wednesday so we
will have to wait another whole day. Don cut back branches by the south
yard fence and loaded dirt to fill in areas. I got dressed and Don took
me to the Discovery Shop where I was filling in for someone who was sick.
It was rather a dull afternoon. I brought home a skirt but it may be too
small for me. I left there at 10 to 4 and walked to the Silverstein
building where the board of Government in Education were meeting at 4.
Well we waited around for 15 minutes for people to get there and then two
people came to talk about the bond issue and it was the same material and
handout that had been given on the 12th at the Card Center and after that
was the regular meeting so I had told Don to put the food leftover in the
oven at 15 to 5 so when we got home after Don had to come pick me up
things were pretty dry but we ate them anyway. Niki had gone to Loren's.
Eileen Robinson called from PV saying that Niki had been in the office
with another girl and she had an insignia for marijuana on her back pack.
Eileen asked her to give it to her and she finally did but not
gracefully. She called to see if we [ ? ] with the pair and Niki she
could have it back. Don said to throw it away. He didn't say anything to
Niki about it but she has a T-shirt that talks about it too and we had
better tell her not to wear it to school. I got a letter from my sister.
She seems to be pretty good but her writing gets smaller and smaller and
I have
179
to have the magnifying glass to read them I am very tired and the bed
will feel good.
October 18
Up at 5. Very chilly this morning and it is so dark! What about June when
it was light at 4:30 a.m.!? Went to tell Niki it was 6 but she didn't
want to get up so she left with Don at 7:30. She eats no breakfast these
days at all. I did the little bit of ironing that was waiting for me and
then I got dressed and went to Hospice. Stayed till 10:30 and on the way
home just a little way from Hospice I tripped and fell and hit my head
very hard and got both hands scraped and a bad cut on my right wrist. A
girl stopped and a woman got out and helped me up and got me in her car
and took me home. She is a school psychologist and was on her way to PV.
I called later and got her name and will write to her. Don wasn't home
but he got here a little later and he put bandages on my head that had
bled the most and my hand. We went to Convenient Care and Dr. Archer was
there and she said I did not have a concussion but I was to be careful
for a few days and if I got dizzy or confused or nauseated I was to check
it out at once. But she said I could still have my perm. So we came home
and I ate some lunch and then Don took me to the Beauty College and he
had to go to Durham to pick up Rose who was getting her braces off at
1:30. I was done at about 3 and I called Don and he came to pick me up.
When I got home I pinned up my hair and I think I am going to like this
perm. Niki was not home when we got back home and she didn't come till
about 4:30 and she said she was not hungry. She rarely eats with us any
more and now Don is worried that she is taking drugs and he thinks that
is why she is not eating. It seems like we just move from one worry to
another one. The man who is going to do the work in the back yard called
to say that they would start tomorrow morning sometime after 7:30. They
can't start too soon for me. Don and I had chili and french bread and
fruit for dinner. We watched the news and people are changing from
Democrat to Republican and everything sounds just terrible. I talked to
Priss for a long time and then I watered the plants and dusted all the
things on the living room shelves. I called to say I would not work at
the library tomorrow and I will get things done here at home. Don is
watching TV and Niki is at Sarah's and I am restless.
October 19
This was a different kind of day. I didn't walk at all and that in itself
was different. We got up at 5 and I got breakfast and did my exercises
but they hurt. My arms hurt much more than yesterday but the Doctor said
that would happen. I did two loads of clothes and got them folded and put
away and will iron tomorrow morning. I went to Safeway and got ground
beef on sale. Later I went to have my glasses adjusted in the Mall since
they fell on the sidewalk when I fell. Went to Lucky to get bananas on
sale. Mainly I cooked. I fixed prunes for when Linda comes. I made the
mashed potatoes for Saturday. I made a meat loaf for dinner and redid the
leftover broccoli. I made bread because we were down to our last loaf. So
I spent a lot of time in the kitchen. The man came and cut down all the
laurels but they have to dig up the stumps. Then they dug up trenches and
laid the pipes
180
for the sprinkling system but there is still a lot to do. They brought in
a huge dumpster and put all the stuff in that. Niki, Sandi, and Valerie
came here after school and Sandi and Niki were both crying. Later they
told me a little bit about it. Niki says she has broken up with Loren. I
asked her why and she said he couldn't accept her or her lifestyle
whatever that means. She and Sandi were sitting out in the north patio
and Niki said I couldn't think but [ ? ] they are for Don and me. We have
been married for 50 years and still love each other and no one seems to
have that kind of values or feelings today. Interesting. I fixed the
lavender flowers that bloom in the fall, the vine that I put in the south
yard and that looks lovely on the coffee table. I talked to Priss but I
didn't write any letter and I must do that. Don is very upset. He sighs a
lot, hates the mess, and I don't blame him. I do too. What are we going
to plant where the laurel was?
October 20
Another busy day. We got up at 5 and it was chilly. I did a few exercises
but no weights and I am still stiff and sore from the fall on Tuesday.
Niki and Sandi went off to the Club at 6:15 and then Don left for tennis.
I made potato soup which meant a lot of chopping and grating. After that
I made a chocolate mousse so I had a busy morning. I then had to iron
clothes before lunch. By then things had warmed up. I showered and got
dressed to go to the Discovery Shop but by the time I had eaten lunch I
decided I was dressed too warm so I changed to beige slacks and my old KMart sweater - a beige mixture that I have always likes. Don took a nap
and I read and dozed till 15 to 1 and then he took me to the Discovery
Shop. It was a dull afternoon. We were not busy till about 3:30
(naturally) but we ended up making about $93. I brought home a lot of
things on approval but only one and will fit me and I may not take that.
Two of them might be something Linda or Jenny would like. Since Linda is
coming down tomorrow I will ask her. Dinner was a simple. The soup, some
sliced meatloaf and cheese with bread and for dessert I had some frozen
yogurt. Niki was not here for dinner yet again but with Sara. I walked to
the end of North Avenue afterwards. It is rather like how I felt when I
had been bitten by a dog. I was worried if I saw one and tonight I was
nervous about falling down and watched where I was going very carefully.
I hope this is temporary. When I got back I talked to Priss and then I
started a letter to Jenny. Niki got home at 8:30 and since Nicole V.R.
had called she called her back and now I am not in the mood to finish the
letter tonight so I will do it tomorrow. Mike called and he sounded very
despondent. He will be here tomorrow at about 6 and he has to be in San
Francisco on Sunday to get a 4 p.m. flight so we will not see him for
very long. Tomorrow I will make a graham cracker pie, make the dressing
for the turkey for Saturday night, neat up the house, etc. I am not
particularly optimistic about this visit.
October 21
Up at 5. Did my exercises and when Don left for tennis there I was again
in the kitchen. I made the dressing for the turkey and got myself
organized for the day. Then I finished my
181
letter to Jenny that I had started last night but didn't finish. I
shampooed and set my hair. We had lunch and I really didn't even leave
the house today which is most unusual but I did a lot here. I made
brownies, I deviled eggs, I vacuumed the apartment and the main part of
the house. Just didn't do the bedroom wing. I watered outside plants, I
fixed bouquets of mums, I swept all the sidewalks and patios and
driveway. I made chocolate sauce. I dusted all the furniture. Don
returned books to the library, had to go to the bank to put more money in
checking because of house insurance payments, etc. He ran a lot of
errands. I even got the tallest pyrocanmila out front that had been
bothering me. Mike got here late and so I had plenty of time to do all
these things. I can't just sit still waiting for someone to come. He
finally arrived at 6:20. Their plane had been two hours late and so that
set everything back. He looks good and is very trim. He was hungry so I
quickly heated the soup and put out all the things I had made and he ate
well. He called Karen and the conversation seemed pleasant. He talks much
of Emmy and he is very fond of her. Matt is doing well in the police
academy. Tyler is also doing well and Jill keeps changing her mind about
what she wants to be but she is doing well too. Linda called and they are
running late so we will all go to bed and they will come through the
apartment. Niki and Sandi are at Sandi's house for the night. It will be
good to see Linda.
October 22
I had a very difficult night trying to sleep. Woke again and again hoping
it was morning. Finally 5 a.m. came and we could get up. I did my
exercises; Mike went for a walk and Don read the paper. I walked a bit
myself before picking up Mary to go shopping. At the Market I got
tomatoes regular and cherry ones plus the first kiwis and some red
onions. Then on to Food for Less where I got essentials but nothing much
of interest or new and different. Same at the Cannery and then home.
Linda had called to cancel and to re- schedule her hair appointment and
they couldn't find the key to Jason's car but finally found it in Craig's
boat. Finally they arrived after 1:30. And she called right away and got
her hair done at 3 p.m. Mike went over to see Priss which I appreciated
since she is very fond of him. Cathy came in and so there was a lot of
talking and laughing. Niki had spent the night with Sandi and didn't call
us till about 3:30 and said she would be home about 6. Don suggested that
Sandi come too and Don picked them up at 5:15. I had the turkey and
dressing and mashed potatoes fixed ahead of time that just had to be
heated. Green beans. Hot bread and for salad. Relish dish. Dessert:
people had a choice of graham cracker pie, brownies, and chocolate
mousse. Since Linda and Craig brought back Yvonne's table I put
Marijeanne, Niki and Sandi in the apartment and Cathy, Don, Mike and I
ate in the dining room. Cathy and Linda went to the rehearsal dinner. We
all ate too much but then we usually do when I fix a turkey. It was nice.
No one worried about watching the news. The two girls went over to
Sarah's, Marijeanne watched TV and Cathy and Don and I sat on the patio
and talked while Mike talked to Karen. I will have to re-finish the table
but hopefully I can do a good job. I will have to try to get it to match
the two chairs. I was a bit put out because not one person offered to
help me set the table
182
or do anything about the dinner. I got almost everything washed up before
we sat down so that helped. I am getting tired of these big family
affairs where I do all the work.
October 23
5 a.m.; it is pretty chilly. Still I was glad to get up. I made breakfast
and Mike got up as soon as he heard us. To go to church I wore black
stirrup pants and my new black sweater that is long. The priest talked
about how new missionaries operate and they sound better than the old
variety. On the way home we stopped at Lucky for bananas and Don got
rolls for the three of them. I changed my clothes, ironed a shirt for
Mike and wished that he wasn't going to leave in time to catch his plane
in San Francisco since he had to be in Dallas [ ? ] tomorrow morning and
his plane left at 4 and he had to turn in his car etc. He was here for
such a short time. But he did get in a good visit with Linda she said.
Cathy and Marijeanne stopped by to say goodbye and that was nice. I ate
lunch and then went out and worked in the south yard. I have decided to
have the quince cut down. It as been there for 40 years and it keeps
spreading and there is a lot of dead wood in the middle and I want it
out! I did trim some the outside part and will keep hacking away at it.
Craig left for the wedding at 2 and Linda got dressed to leave at 4. She
looked very nice in a dark green dress and her little new boots. It is
after 9 and they are not back yet. Niki left with Sandi early on and was
gone for the rest of the day. She called at 8:45 to be picked up at
Sandi's. Don talked to Mike and Linda about her and he said that Mike was
all for sending her back to Melbourne on the next plane. Don doesn't want
to do that nor do I. Linda trimmed my hair and it looks much better. She
did Craig's too. It will be interesting to hear about the wedding and the
party afterwards. Don wants to talk to Niki tomorrow about her behavior
and attitude. I am not sure that will be successful. I certainly hope the
people come tomorrow and start work on the back yard.
October 24
This has been a very bad day. No one was awake when I left for my
exercise class and Don went to play tennis. He picked me up and Linda got
up shortly after that. She had come in contact with strawberries at the
buffet last night and her eyes were swollen. I heard all about the
wedding and it sounded very fine. Then Don talked to Niki and she told
him she didn't have to do what he said and walked out on him. He was very
upset but then I could have told him that would happen. I talked to Linda
about it and her answer is that she should go back to Australia with her
Mom. Then no one came to work on the lawn. Don called and someone said
Bruce (the boss) was out of town. He didn't know anything about anything.
But tonight someone called and said they would be bringing the sod
tomorrow and since they have not taken out the laurel stumps or leveled
anything how can they put in the sod? I am furious about that. I want the
quince bush out and I worked on cutting it back this afternoon so that
eventually someone can take it out. Finally I was so upset that I just
burst into tears and cried all through my shower since I got so hot
working outside in the heat of the afternoon. I had wanted to quit
smoking but
183
broke down and smoked. Then I had to make up the two beds used over the
weekend and there is a lot of ironing to do and Niki never talks unless
she is asking for a ride or for money. Suddenly I thought about working
all last week getting ready for the kids coming and no one helped at all
while they were here and I decided I just wasn't going to make any effort
about dinner. I said I was going to make my dinner and if people were
hungry they could fix their own. Why should I keep on cooking year after
year and everyone just assumes it will be on the table come dinner time.
To hell with it and to hell with all of them. And to think they will all
be expecting a big dinner come Thanksgiving and Christmas. I have
suddenly lost interest and I feel put [ ? ]. I am still seething with
anger and frustration. I walked after dinner and I called Priss and I am
trying to read a book but it isn't very good. I hope I feel better
tomorrow. At least Niki will be in school part of the day.
October 25
This has been a strange day. I got up at 5 and put muffins in the oven.
Fixed breakfast, brushed Daisy and did my exercises. I felt better than
yesterday, not so angry and frustrated. Then at about 7:15 a huge truck
drove up with sod for the lawn. I called Bruce - the owner of the
landscape company. I got the answering machine and I told him that the
sod had arrived and nothing had been done on the yard and just what were
we to do? I was mad. In a very short time he arrived. Said he had talked
to the answering machine yesterday saying that everything would be done
today. He told all this to Don. I had gone to Hospice. I was very careful
about walking after what happened last Tuesday. When I got to the place
where I had fallen there were the spots of blood on the sidewalk. With
the OJ Simpson trial so much in the news I wondered if they could get my
DNA from the spots. I was very busy at Hospice; the time always goes
fast. When I got home men were very busy taking out the laurel roots and
leveling the land. By the end of the day most of the lawn was done. They
will be back tomorrow to finish up. But when I came back from Hospice and
was another problem. Linda had called and said that Cathy told her that
Sandy and Niki were stoned at the turkey dinner. I am not surprised. We
talked about what to do and agreed that we should talk to Jenny about
this. We called her and were talking to her when Niki came so we said we
would talk tomorrow. We also made a list of things that we would write up
to give Niki and then see how she reacts. There is no point in trying to
talk to her because she just walks out on you. What a mess! I know
smoking marijuana is not all that serious but sometimes people move on to
hard drugs and it is against the law and we do not want to condone this.
Will anyway I made spaghetti french bread and a green salad and she did
come to dinner and she did the dishes after so that was an improvement
over the last two weeks. We will see what tomorrow brings. Don got the
movie Sirens. Australian, we liked it. Lots of nudity but it didn't
bother me. Don made drinks and we had two while we watched. Then we went
to bed and made love and it was great so at least we still have that.
184
October 26
Well today the work on the lawn is done. We got up at 5 and I did my
exercises but without much enthusiasm and then I made oatmeal for Don.
Read the papers. None of the ads were great. I got dressed but decided
not to go to the Club today. Instead I walked to Safeway and brought us
back doughnuts that tasted wonderful. Since we were going to call Jenny
at 2 I thought it would be best to get to the library right after 11 so I
ate a little bit and left by 20 till. Don was putting the rest of the sod
down. They had not used it all but left what they didn't need and he put
some in the low places in the north yard and more on the north side of
the east (back) yard. The pieces are very heavy and when he came to get
me at the library he said he ached in every bone. We called Jenny and she
gave us her opinion on the situation. Everyone is so willing to tell us
what to do but there just aren't any easy answers. I did call the school
and she has not been cutting classes. She has been tardy twice in second
period, her science class. Don is going to write up a paper for her
tomorrow and then hopefully we can talk. Linda called and asked that we
send her make up kit that she left. It seems every time she comes she
leaves something behind. I really didn't do anything worth talking about
today. Hopefully I will do better tomorrow. For dinner I made mashed
potatoes. Heated green beans made a pear and cottage cheese salad, heated
gravy and had sliced turkey. Sandy came home with Niki and at 4:15 they
said they were going downtown to look for shoes and they didn't get back
till 8:20. They took the bus. So now it is 10 to 9 and I am going to read
for awhile and then go to bed. Maybe tomorrow I will have more to show
for my day. Talked to Priss and invited her to come over to see our lawn.
Then I won't have to call her in the evening. Well at 8:30 Niki and Sandi
came in and Don drove Sandi home and Niki went to bed without a word.
October 27
We slept in till 5:30. I tried to get Niki up at 6 to go to the Club but
she didn't get up. So at 15 to 7 she did get up and Don took her to
school on the way to tennis. I dusted furniture, changed the flowers and
then went for the Mall walk. It was a nice morning and it was a good
walk. When I got back I put muffins in to cook and made coffee and Priss
came at 10. Don stayed in the living room reading and it was all rather
awkward. She stayed for about an hour and then was going out to lunch
later. We ate lunch and then we checked out a number of nurseries and
drove out to Sun Chasers, Hubbards and Landscape Nurseries on East Avenue
and ended up ordering 12 privets from them at $10.85 each plus some
mulch. Then Don went to take a nap and I read. Them Mike called and we
heard about his time in Dallas. He had a cold. Don wrote a letter to Niki
stating our case: that his aunts thought she was stoned on Sunday, what
would happen in allowance cutting, driver training dropped, etc. When she
came home he gave it to her. She left and went to Sarah's, came home
after we had eaten. Don and she went out to the patio to smoke and she
just did not say anything. Then she left again to go to Sarah's. We are
at loss - we just don't know what to do about all this. Is all this
because she isn't
185
going with Loren any more? Since she never confides in us we just don't
know. I stayed up and read till 10:30 and then to bed.
October 28
This morning we got up at 5. It works better that way: no rush. Niki got
up at 6 and went to the Club. I ran a load of darks and then walked to
the Club. We had a very good workout today and the walk home was equally
pleasant. So I got three miles in. Don was here when I got back. I
changed my clothes and we worked outside. I dug up the camellia and the
lilac that had been moved so the backhoe could get in the back yard. So
now they are back in their regular place. I just hope they survive. Then
we took out the rose bushes so that we could get to the quince to cut it
out. There is so much to be done. The privet arrived at 11 so after we
ate lunch we set them on top of the ground where we want to plant them.
It is going to be no easy job to plant 12 but we will do it. Don took a
nap and I sat outside in the sun because it was such a beautiful day.
Daisy hates to be limited to the south yard but if someone is out there
with her she stays for awhile. Niki came home after school with three
friends. I guess she figured we would not talk to her with others around.
She and Valerie left at 5:30 to go to the band concert. We finished up
leftovers for dinner. I fried some chicken livers for myself and Don had
a hot turkey sandwich. I watched the local news and then did my last mile
for the day. Tomorrow night the time will change and then it will be two
dark after dinner to walk. I shall miss that. Don got Farewell My
Concubine but so far it has been too cruel for me to watch. Maybe I will
get back to it later. The school called again tonight and Niki missed one
or more classes. We simply have to talk to her. I wrote a long letter to
Pauline and that is not hanging over me any more. I kept putting it off.
Linda called. She wanted to know what we were doing about Niki. Had a
pleasant visit with Priss tonight. Read and later Niki called and asked
to stay the night with Sandi. We went to bed then.
October 29
Up at 5 and did my exercises and read two papers and was on the road to
pick up Mary at 7:15. I didn't get anything exciting at Food for Less. I
needed staples such as coffee, Cascade, and other dull items. Then on to
the Cannery. They did have those exotic juices and I bought them but
nothing much else of interest. I had hoped to buy a big bag of dog food
but they didn't have it this week so we went back to Food for Less so I
could get it there and we went to Home Base and I bought a retractable
clothes line. Haven't put it up yet. Put groceries away, changed clothes
and then Don and I planted eight of the 12 privets. We will finish
tomorrow. Ate lunch. I showered and shampooed and set my hair. Had our
talk with Niki in the afternoon. Not very satisfactory. She said she had
been smoking pot for four years and it was not a big deal. She said she
had been hurt by so many people she didn't trust or care about any of
them. Don asked her if she had been hurt by: Ken, Jenny, Ed, - she said
yes to all the names. She wants to be left alone. She did say that the
only ones who had not hurt her were us. But as Don said later she is
186
confident we will let her down. I pointed out that she had changed and
that she had not eaten dinner with us for the last two weeks except when
Linda and Mike were here. I also pointed out that in just one day she had
spoken 27 words to us - that was all! I agree that she has had a hard
time but she is not willing to forgive and when one compares her to
children that have been really abused I don't think she is so bad off. I
don't know just what we are going to do about all this. I think Don
doesn't want to do anything. I want to do something and I don't think we
should just ignore her bad behavior. But I guess I am really pretty much
at a loss. She went to Taco Bell with one of her girlfriends for dinner
and we had a great dinner: cold salmon, tomato, cuke, onion, radish,
jicama dish, bread, fettucini. We were both hungry and it tasted great. I
walked after dinner. It will be the last time I can do that because the
time changes tonight. Talked to Priss. A man shot at the White House but
no one was hurt. What next? Well as Don says - 18 more months and she
will be through high school but then what?
October 30
I woke sup at 2 a.m. new standard time and had a lot of trouble getting
back to sleep. So finally at 4:30 when Daisy came in I got up as did Don.
We had to wait a long time for the paper to come but finally it did. I
put on my black stretch pants and turtle neck and my turquoise and black
sweater to go to church. When we got back home I changed to grubbies and
we planted to last four privets. Then I [ ? ] up the [ ? ] around them
and Don dug circles to help handle the water when the sprinklers were on.
By then it was lunch time. Then I walked to Walgreens and to Mervyns. I
want a pair of charcoal gray stirrup pants but couldn't find any. Then to
Longs for Vitamins and then to K-Mart where I found a pair of slacks but
when I got them home they were not the right shade so will take them back
tomorrow. Did find a deal to store the hose so later Don and I put up my
retractable clothes line and the deal for the hose. Then we re-set the
bird bath so we are getting things done. Had a good dinner: smoked ham,
candied yams, green beans, a beautiful fruit salad and pumpkin pie and
with the last of the pumpkin I made pumpkin bread. I had hoped Niki would
eat with us but she talked to Don and got permission to go to Durham to
stay with someone and they were going to get all dressed up to go to
school on Halloween. She had gone to Sandi's and found a black dress and
a black coat and she is going in that outfit to school. I didn't realize
they would dress up for Halloween. And I am not clear about her spending
the night. She said she would call and give us the phone number but she
has not done so. I just hope it is on the up and up. I think we are both
depressed about how the talk went yesterday. Don keeps talking about how
we can do it for 18 more months but hell that is 1½ years and it is even
longer than that and since it is a daily worry I find it hard to
contemplate. Talked to Priss and have been reading but it is a dull book
and I may just skim the rest and forget it. I want to do something
exciting, have some fun, laugh, relax and stop worrying all the time
about Niki.
October 31
187
This was a busy day. Daisy woke us at 4:30 and we got up a little before
5. Fixed breakfast, did my exercises, had some toast with jam and my
juice, read the papers and then I cleaned both bathrooms. Alice called
and stopped by on her walk with four delicious muffins. I must get the
recipe. I got dressed and walked to the Club, did my thing and then Don
picked me up. He had errands to run so I let him go first. I fixed salad
greens and planned things out for dinner since I had a Hall of Fame
meeting at 4. When I got back we had lunch and then he went in for a nap
and I drove to the Discovery Shop and took back things I had on approval
and came home. I had walked to K-Mart earlier to return the gray slacks I
had bought yesterday. They were too cheap. I also got vitamins (Beta
Carotene) and dental tape. When I got home from the Discover Shop I raked
leaves in the north yard for half an hour and got them all in piles. Don
came out and we decided to bag them tomorrow. I left at 15 to 4 after
taking a shower (I got very sticky and hot raking leaves). The meeting
lasted till 20 to 5 and when I got home I put the green salad together
heated the yams and green beans and we sat down to eat just about at the
regular time. Niki said she was not hungry. Niki told us she was going to
a party at Valerie's and would be staying the night. I am not sure
whether she was telling the truth or not. I hope she was. Not too many
kids came trick or treating. So far they were all little. I turned off
the porch light at 8. Don and I are going to have a drink later. He is
watching football and I have been reading.
November 1
It is 9 p.m. Don has gone to bed with a headache and Niki also went to
bed. Daisy is asleep behind the lounge and that means I am the only one
awake and I am yawning. We got up and when 6 o'clock came and no Niki we
realized that she was not coming home to get her things to go to the
Club. It was cloudy and chilly outside. I decided to clean the stove and
that kept me busy for awhile and then I got dressed and walked to
Hospice. I was very busy there and didn't have time to do much worrying.
It was raining when I left there but I was almost home by the time Don
picked me up. Linda had called and so she too was worried. We decided
that if she did not come home by 3:30 we would call the police. Don
checked on her allowance amount and she had spent $200 in October. Double
and more of what she should have spent. After lunch I went to the school
and asked Mr. Jones to find out if Niki had been there today. They sent a
note to Mrs. Kohns class and it came back saying that Niki was not in
class today. Then we really got scared. I kept working because that is
the only thing I can do when I am upset. I made a huge amount of hot dish
when was enough for four different occasions. I saved one out for
Thursday dinner. At around 3 Niki walked in. She claimed that she had
spent the night at Sarah's and the Mother had forgot to set the alarm so
they both stayed out of school all day. In fact they had just gotten up
before she arrived here. Don did the talking about all whole things and
she just sat there. He grounded her for two weeks. She can use the phone
and accept calls from 7:30 - 8:30 p.m. Naturally he brought up the
allowance and said he had closed out the account. She said she knew we
would not [ ? ] her but she was really sorry.
188
I went to the apartment and did the ironing. I fixed salad greens and
made a vanilla pudding, got some french bread out of the freezer. We
finished talking to Niki. Don called Linda since she was in on
everything. I had not smoked at all but when all this happened I started
in again but I hope I won't succumb again. Niki did come to the table and
ate a normal dinner. She washed clothes. The school called to say she had
missed today and I will not clear her absence. We watched the news, I
called Priss. Sandi called and I told her she could call between 7:30 8:30. She called at 7:20 but Don said no so she called back at 7:30. So
now I am going to get ready for bed. I hope tomorrow will be a better day
for all of us. I am getting too old for all this emotion.
November 2
We woke to a clear, cold, windy morning and no paper because the
chronicle is on strike. I did my exercises. Niki got up and went to the
Club. I got dressed and Don and I got the leaves into bags for the
garbage people tomorrow. Then I got dressed to go to the Club. I had the
light gray tights that I got at the church Rummage Sale and I found a
gray and white striped top that I had forgotten so I wore that today for
class. It was a good workout. Came home and Don went to the S&S to get
apples and I fixed my lunch and then walked to the library. Today it
didn't seem as boring as it has been of late. Don picked me up at 1:45.
When we got home Mr. Mick was just finishing up the main part of the
fence and tomorrow he will hang the gates. Then Daisy can be free to go
anywhere in the yard. The man who did the grass, etc. came and measured
and they will put in a walkway at the end of the apartment. So then we
will be done. I called B Applegate and she and Kathleen will be coming on
Monday for lunch. Don talked to Jenny and she wants us to have Niki see
the letter that V. Lindeman is says is very good. I tried to reach her
tonight but no answer. Niki came home from school and went to her room
and except for taking a shower she did not come out. She said she was not
hungry, didn't call anyone during her hour from 7:30-8:30. If this is
going on for two weeks we will all be out of our minds. Don wants to cut
it to one week if she promises to go to see someone. First we have to
find out who and then when she can take her. I called Priss and we had a
rather brief visit by phone. Now everyone is asleep and I just want to
finish my book and go to bed myself.
November 3
Life at our house at the moment is strange indeed. I go into Niki's room
at 6 in the morning and tell her it is time to get up. I get no response.
However she does get up about 10 minutes later and then comes out. Takes
her $2 lunch money and Don drives her to the Club. She comes home from 33:30 and moves to her room. She turns on her music and she stays there
till dinner time. Today I suggested that she really should eat, that we
had a good dinner. She finally came in and sat down but said she would
not have anything and then went back to her room and now at 9:15 I assume
she is asleep. How long will this go on? Now to turn to life here aside
from Niki. Don went to play tennis and I did the Mall walk. It was clear
but very chilly. When I got back we drove to the nursery where we got
189
the privets and looked at eucalyptus trees but I didn't like them so we
went to Hubbards and got a great coin one. When we got back I went to
Safeway and Holiday to buy various groceries. Then we had lunch. Don went
to nap and I walked to Mervyns looking for stirrup pants but couldn't
find the color I wanted. I made a good dinner: twice baked potatoes,
boneless spareribs in barbecue sauce, peas and a grapefruit kiwi salad. I
made ginger snaps in mid afternoon. We watched the news and then I tried
to read a McMurtry novel but couldn't get into it. Linda called and
suggested that maybe we have David and Marilyn and Mary Yakish if Craig
and Linda come for Thanksgiving and we will have the Yorks. It is fine
with me. I also invited Priss. I tried to reach Cathy but she was not at
home. Will try again tomorrow. Got the name of a therapist from Vicky
Lindeman and we will call her tomorrow. Life right now is sheer hell. I
am sick with worry.
November 4 - rain and wind cold
It is 8:45 and I have been trying to stay awake since dinner. I don't
know why I am so tired but I am. Maybe it is the change in the weather.
It has been cold all day. When I walked to the Club this morning I was
really chilled and in the house although the heat is on I am still cold.
I had a good workout in my class and when we got back (Don picked me up)
we changed our clothes and went out to plant the new tree in the North
east corner of our back yard. It looks very nice. We came in and had hot
tea and soon it was lunch time. Cathy arrived and she is so excited about
Thanksgiving and she wants it at her house. It would be so much easier
and more logical to have it here because of the number but she wants to
do it so I gave in. As it is I am to bring the ham, the rolls, three
pies, the relish dish and glasses, silverware, liquor, etc. Jenny called.
I did not talk to her but Don and Cathy did. Cathy is very calm and
sensible but she feels strongly that Niki should go back to Australia to
be with her Mother. Don just won't listen to that and I am torn. I can
see both sides and don't know where I stand. After she left I got dressed
and went out and raked leaves. We had put away all the lawn furniture
this morning and covered the wood with tarps and suddenly it really
seemed that we had said goodbye to summer for another year. And just in
time as it turned out because now it is raining. Niki got up very early
and went over and watched TV in the apartment and so when we got up Don
took her to the Club at 5:30. She came home from school and said she had
to go back to make up a tardy and was gone and then said she got a ride
home. Now I find that in my mind I question everything about her acts
because of her lying about Halloween and the money and everything. She is
not going to change just because she is grounded. How I wish she was
acting like she did when she first came. That I could tolerate. She did
come to eat dinner with us tonight but she did not talk. Well I am so
tired and my head aches and so I am going to bed and maybe tomorrow
things will look better. She has done only four days of her two weeks so
I can't look forward with any great pleasure to what is ahead. Deep down
I want out of the situation.
November 5 - rain
190
I slept well and woke up to rain. I was so glad to realize that we had
put in our new tree, put away all the lawn furniture and all our new
plants were getting a drink. So today Don didn't have to water anything.
I did my exercises and got dressed and also picked up Mary at 7:15.
Shopping was dull. There was nothing interesting or different so I got
the usual things. When I got home at 9 Niki was washing clothes and she
vacuumed the bedroom wing. She asked to go to the Mall to buy socks. I
was not keen on letting her go but Don said yes and she came back and
gave him the change and the sales slips. I was restless and bored today.
I guess I am not used to being inside. I finally walked to the end of
North Avenue and back and that helped a little. I made a potato salad,
fixed hot dogs and had bought two ears of corn for Don and Niki so dinner
was fine. Niki talked to Don about needing new shoes and naturally they
are expensive but Don said yes so she ordered them. On E-mail Jenny says
she may come earlier than planned. I must write to her tomorrow. Don goes
to a brunch tomorrow morning but in the afternoon I want to go to
Penney's and Target. I showered today and tomorrow I will shampoo my
hair. The Bidwell counselors are coming to lunch on Monday and I still am
not sure what I will serve them. Niki came and ate dinner without any
fuss and she did the dishes. Don had said at the beginning that she could
talk on the phone from 7:30- 8:30. Well tonight she refused to get off
the phone at 8:30. Finally Don made her get off at 8:40 but she is fine
for awhile and then she just refuses to do what she has agreed to do. It
was very upsetting. Then, too, today was the day that Don was going to
quit smoking and he got so angry at me that I told him I just would not
stand for that. It has happened again and again when he decides to quit
and I have gone through it just too many times so he apologized and went
to get a pack of cigarettes. We are just under too much pressure at the
moment. Will things get better? I think when Niki wants something she
will behave well but the other times she can be very difficult indeed and
it is scary. On Monday we will still have a week to go on the grounding
and then what will happen once she is off? Well at least she won't have
as much money to play with.
November 6
I think it rained all night and some this morning but it finally pretty
much cleared by afternoon. Last night when I was getting ready to go to
bed I just suddenly decided that we were not going to wait for Niki to be
gone for the night in order to make love so I got in bed and started the
process and it ended just perfectly so from now on I am going to insist
now and then. We got up this morning and decided not to go to church
since Mary was going with Ana to St. John's so we had breakfast and read
both papers and then I made a huge turkey hot dish recipe and divided it
three ways and one I will cook tomorrow noon for the Bidwell counselors.
At 10 we went to S&S and Fuji apples were 25 cents per pound so we got a
lot of them. And the first navel oranges were also on sale. They are not
very sweet yet but ok. I made an angel food cake in the morning too. In
the afternoon while Don was having lunch at Lisa's with the group I
shampooed and set my hair and then later I did the ironing and I read and
dozed and fed Daisy. Niki got restless
191
but she wasn't too difficult. School will be on through Thursday and that
will help but next weekend is going to be a killer because Friday is
Veteran's day and there is no school. I hope it won't be too difficult.
Linda called and we had a good chat. I wrote to Jenny but it wasn't a
very good letter. Had a fun talk with Priss tonight and that went well.
So the day was not too bad. Oh yes. I also went for a walk. But now that
the weather and the time have changed I am just not walking as much. Not
good.
November 7
Up at 5. Chronicle still on strike so a very thin paper but I don't mind.
I did my exercises and got Niki up at 6. Then I set the table for my
luncheon with yellow place mats and napkins. My one callalily that is in
bloom I put in a vase with some greenery and it looked lovely. I got
dressed and went to the Club and my aerobic class was especially good
today. There were about 18 women today and it was fun. Don came and
picked me up and we stopped to get a part for the overhead lamp in the
study. I then went to work on the lunch. Made a grapefruit-kiwi salad and
got out the turkey hot dish to put in the oven. There was leftover angel
food cake and I had yogurt and chocolate sauce to put on it. Kathleen and
Barbara were due at 12 but Kathleen was late so we ate about 12:30. It
went well and we had a nice visit. After they left we cleaned things up
and I fed the dog and then we went for a walk. It was a beautiful day but
windy. I fixed macaroni and cheese for dinner and a green salad, peas and
beans for a veggies. Niki came home from school with Sarah and Sandi.
Niki said that Sarah's mother wanted to talk to them about using drugs.
Don said fine but he wanted to go over just to meet her and then he would
leave. Well then suddenly the girls had to call Sandi's mother and so
they would do it after 6 tonight. The story sounded more and more made
up. Later Niki asked to go for a walk and Don said she could go to the
end of North Avenue and back. Finally went out to find her and she was
coming from the junior high. Naturally no one came to pick Niki up at 6
so I guess it was all a lie. Don went to see the psychologist this
morning and we are going to see her on Wednesday. We are both so
discouraged about the whole situation. Priss came this morning and
brought me some books. George Allen called in the evening wanting to talk
about the electricians. Well tomorrow will be the day and we will be
going early to vote. Niki was mad when she got home from her walk using
the old "You don't trust me" routine. Why should we trust her? And what
about this cock and bull story that the girls gave us this afternoon?
November 8
It is 8:20 p.m. and the Democrats are taking a terrible beating. They
have lost the Senate and I guess the house and most of the governors. So
it is a bad day indeed. It started out ok. We got up at the usual time.
Niki did not get up to go to Stars - I mean the Club so Don took her at
7:30 on his way to tennis. I got dressed and watered the plants and then
walked to Hospice. I added up hours and filed. The time always goes fast
there. When I walked home I seemed terribly weary but then I realized
that had not eaten dinner last
192
night and had not eaten that much breakfast so when I got home I ate
lunch and felt better. I decided to be brave and go to the Chico Mall. I
hate driving there but I did it. Went to Penneys because I wanted dark
gray hose and I found what I wanted. Then I checked out athletic shoes
and suddenly just got brave and bought both white and black Reebocks
which came to $64+ because of tax. They were $29 each on sale. So since I
had spent all my money I came on home. I made a macaroni salad, heated up
last night's macaroni and cheese, made a big fruit salad and sliced some
tomatoes. Fortunately, Niki came in and ate dinner with us. She says her
grades are all A's and B's. I hope she is right. Officially we will know
on the 18th. Called Priss and heard about her bridge party. She had three
other ladies for lunch and bridge. Don called Linda to find out that she
had not registered so didn't vote. Very disappointed in her. So now we
will probably stay up to see what happens in California. One Bush is
going to be Governor (Texas) and one lost (Florida). Well it is going to
be interesting to see what happens. I made fudge and popcorn. I would
like to get drunk but won't.
November 9
We got up a little before 5. Rained very hard off and on all day. Niki
went off at 6 to the Club. I ran a load of clothes and I got everything
folded and even did the ironing before going to the Club at 8:30. Had a
very good workout and Don drove so he too could get in his routine. When
we got home I changed to red stirrup slacks and a white cotton sweater.
Then we went to the therapist for an hour. It seemed very worthwhile to
me. I liked her and we talked about our feelings taking care of Niki. I
said how I felt about the situation. I am caught between stress and
guilt. I find it very stressful but if she goes back to Australia I will
feel guilty and that we have failed. We got back after 11, had lunch and
then I drove to the library in heavy rain. I typed my cards and filed
everything and was home by 2:20. Got busy making dinner. I had three
chicken thighs and I got them sauted and sauced and in the oven by 3. I
made a chocolate cake as requested by Don and fixed rice and dressing and
made a small green salad. Niki decided she was not hungry and did not eat
with us but she was not angry and sullen today. We watched the news.
Linda called. It was snowing in Tahoe and she had been caught in the
storm on her way home from work. She was fine. We talked mainly about the
election. Huffington refuses to concede and there are thousands of
absentee votes still to be counted so maybe Diane Feinstein didn't win
after all. They would really be upsetting. So then I called Priss and
after that I came back here and have been reading Everything to Gain by
Barbara Bradford - an ok book but not great. Priss wanted me to read it.
The house is quiet. Don and Niki are both asleep and Daisy is asleep
curled up in a ball. She is waiting for me to go to bed so she can get up
on her blanket on the lounge. Tomorrow Alice comes for morning coffee and
I go to the Discovery Shop at 1. Suddenly today I realize I am bored with
cooking and resentful that I have to come up with dinner every single
day. I guess I have been doing this for too many years.
193
November 10
Don must have had trouble sleeping because when I woke up in the night he
was gone. Later he said he was worried about Niki and didn't know how she
would re-act to what he had written concerning the time when she was over
being grounded. Well we both got up and at 6 he took her to the Club. I
got dressed and drove to Safeway to buy croissants and I made a fruit
cup. Alice got here at 7:30 and she came with persimmons. She stayed for
an hour and I gave her a lot of eucalyptus leaves from my bush. Then I
went for a walk around the Mall. I fixed lunch and then Don took me to
the Discovery Shop. It was a rather dull afternoon - we made about $76.
Still the time went fairly fast. I forgot to say that Mike called saying
he had talked to Linda and they were both concerned about Niki's
behavior. When we got home from the Discover Shop she still wasn't home
so Don drove to PV and picked her up. She was making up tardies. I was
making a simple dinner of sandwiches and soup. She picked up the sheets
that he had written about the new rules and she stormed over to him and
was so angry. Said something crude about sticking them up his ass and
then shouted she wasn't paying any attention to being grounded any more
and slammed out the door. We were stunned, we didn't have a chance to say
anything. We went through the motions of eating some dinner, watched the
news and I talked to Priss as if nothing were wrong. He called the
therapist and Linda called, and we talked to her. We had decided to wait
till 9 and then call Sandi's mother and ask if Sandi could come to show
us where Sarah lived because we figured she might go there. Well all of a
sudden she came home and without a word went to her room. The therapist
called back to say that we should not talk to her tonight but wait till
tomorrow and maybe we could go over what was written and maybe negotiate
some things. I think we should say that we planned to call the police and
say that she was out of [ ? ]. She has to realize she can't keep doing
this to us. Linda suggested that at Christmas when Jenny is here we would
all sit down and talk about this situation. Maybe she should go back to
Australia and her mother declare her a [ ? ] minor and she could quit
school and get a job and live on her own. Well before all that we have to
get through tomorrow. Life is not easy.
November 11
Well the problem with Niki goes on. Don went off to play tennis and I
left for the Club and Niki was up but didn't say anything to me. When Don
got back there was a note from Jenny [Niki] saying that she was going to
be at Sara's for the day. So much for grounding. Well Linda called and
Don told her Niki's reaction to his list and letter. She was very
emphatic about all of it and said no more writing but instead talk to her
about it so in the afternoon Niki came home and we did talk about it and
she said she would not accept any of it. That she was going to live her
life and if she made mistakes she would learn from them and she pretty
much wrote us off. She does not want to be here with us because we have
too much in the way of rules, etc. She said she would not go back to
Australia. She is doing well in school and she wants to stay here but I
guess not with us. All of this hurt a lot naturally and it devastated
Don. Then Jenny called to say that she was going to
194
arrive next Sunday! She sounds very firm too so I don't know how all of
this is going to turn out. In a way I am relieved but they all want a
family conference but that means one (Niki) against all the rest of the
family. I think the holidays are going to be pretty grim. Cathy came by
and she too thinks Niki should go back to Australia. So how is all this
going to end? I am afraid Niki is going to do something drastic with all
the pressure put upon her. Genevieve Smith called saying she was coming
up for Thanksgiving and wanted to see Niki. Then while I went for a walk
later in the day Vicki Lindeman called and she talked a long time to Don.
Well Niki went to Nicole's after our big blow-up. She called a while ago
to say that she, Nicole and Zack were going to go cruising for awhile and
then she would let us know whether she would stay there or stay with Dani
or [ ? ] that girl's [ ? ] there that I dislike so much. Had a good talk
with Priss. Still haven't told her anything about all this but I guess I
will have to. I worry that in all the talk and suggestions, etc. we will
all lose Niki so I am still caught between stress and guilt if we give
up.
November 12 - rain in the morning
We got up at 5. I woke at 3:30 and just dozed off and on till 5. Don was
not in bed. He had gotten a drainage in his throat so slept in TV room
propped up. We had breakfast and the paper and I did my exercises and
then I got dressed. Picked up Mary and we went to the Food Market where I
got kiwis, green beans and cherry tomatoes. Shopping was dull today at
both Food for Less and the Cannery. There was nothing interesting or
exciting. Took Mary home and then when I got home I put the groceries
away. I did a load of lights and when they were dry I folded them. Don
and I talked a lot about the Niki situation. Should she stay here? Should
she go back to Australia? Will she go back if that is decided? Well it
goes on and on. We have to stop thinking about all this 24 hours a day.
Linda called. She and Craig were at a race. She sounded cheerful although
she said it was very cold where they were and she was not dressed warm
enough. I made lunch and then later I walked to Longs. Got something for
my hair and a package pound cake. At the craft place I got some brass
spray. When I got home I started to make the pound cake but my electric
hand mixer finally gave out. I finished beating the cake with a whisk and
it is ok but not as high and light as it should be. I ironed. Then I made
dinner: scrambled eggs, sausages, tomatoes, cheese and pickles. We
watched the news. I went to the bathroom and shaved my legs, brushed my
teeth and washed my face. Then I put fingernail polish on toes and
fingernails and read. Don went to bed. Niki called to say she was
spending the night at Dani's again. Tomorrow night we go out to dinner
with Priss and I don't know if Niki will be willing or not. Jenny said to
let her do what she wants right now so that is what we are doing but it
is so strange. She seems to have changed so much in such a short time.
How will all this end? My eczema is driving me crazy so I guess I will go
put medicine on it and go to bed.
November 13 - November 16 - Karen's birthday
195
Woke at 2:30 very chilly in the house. Stayed awake till a little before
5 and then Daisy came in and we got up. I did all my exercises after
fixing breakfast, the Chronicle strike has been settled so we will be
getting a full paper again soon. So then we went to church taking the
paper to Mary. Afterwards we went to Safeway for milk and a doughnut for
Don. I sliced a piece of pound cake for myself. I did a load of clothes
and then went to Longs and K-Mart to check out hand mixers: mine gave out
yesterday finally so I ended up with a Black and Decker for $19.97 at KMart, $2 cheaper than at Longs. I didn't use it today. When I got back I
went for a walk. I didn't enjoy it at all. I guess I was tired because
every step seemed like an effort. Did to Ceres, to Lupin and back up
North about a 25 minute walk. Then I showered, shampooed and set my hair.
By then the clothes were dry and I folded them and ironed. I decided to
wear my gray sweat shirt material outfit with navy shoes and t-shirt.
Finally Niki called from Dani's saying she would be home and she arrived
with Julie who had driven her in. I guess she went over there to get a
ride. She went to shower and Julie stayed to visit for awhile and then
left. Niki seemed in good spirits. Wasn't angry or moody. She was
thrilled that the 49er's had won their game from the Dallas Cowboys. We
told her we were going out to dinner and she should fix something for
herself. We picked up Priss at 5 and went to a make shift restaurant at
the Club. They are re-modeling the club house. The meal was ok. We had a
drink before. I was hungry and cleaned my plate. We got home at 7. I
changed into my housecoat. Niki was in bed by 8:30 and Don by 9. I have
been reading and I think I too will go to bed now. Tomorrow Don will be
telling Niki that her Mother is coming on Sunday. I don't know what her
reaction will be. Probably she will be very angry. I don't think the
holidays this year are going to be pleasant.
November 14
I slept a little bit better last night. I woke up a lot but I went back
to sleep each time. But the nights are getting colder. There was a heavy
frost. Nothing too interesting in the paper. Mostly it is about the
Republicans and all they are going to do come January when the Congress
is back in session. Nationwide 30 percent of the people voted so since
they didn't get 100 percent of the 30 percent they really don't have the
mandate they keep talking about. It will be interesting to see what
happens. I dressed warm and walked to and from the Club and had a good
workout. When I got home I made a french stew and it turned out to be
just perfect so that was nice. Had my lunch but Don was doing a class for
Emily Newton at 11 so didn't get here till much later. I fixed the lunch
and while he napped I worked in the south yard. I dug up some of the iris
and lilies, raked machs and cut back some of the mums. Brought the
garbage cans around and got everything in. Don then took it back. I have
decided to try to go back to no more smoking. This is my first day and it
was not at all hard to say no. The man came and [ ? ] the cement blocks
at the gate into the back yard by the apartment fireplace. They have to
come back because they needed my blocks but it will look very nice. Niki
came home from school with Valerie and they went out at once for the
Chico Mall to buy the gray sweater shirt with the zipper
196
in the front. I had seen one at Sears. She didn't get back till about
6:15 and didn't want to have anything to eat and immediately just said
she was going to Sarah's and left. She seems to think she can do anything
she wants and we won't say anything and for the most part she is gone
before we can say anything. I think we are afraid of what she will do if
we cross her. And she is probably right. Don talked about his book in
Emily's class and it sounded as if the students really enjoyed him. So
that was a nice thing that happened today and we have to count our
blessings when something nice happens. Now I am going to read for awhile.
November 15 - rain
One more day until Sunday. We got up at 5 and I did my exercises and made
oatmeal for Don. It was raining so I called Hospice and said I would not
be coming today because I had to drive Don after he got his eyes checked
by Dr. Shaw. I took a shower and got dressed to go. When we came back
home I cleaned both bathrooms and then got out the small vacuum and did
the floors in the bathrooms. Ran a load of clothes and then when dry
folded them and put them away. I felt housebound and hated missing my
walk. We ate lunch and I read my book by E. George which is very good.
Don went to the library. He made an appointment with Attorney Miller but
she can't see him till a week from tomorrow. Well he can go with Jenny.
When Niki came home she said she was going to Sarah's and no she wasn't
hungry and didn't want dinner so she left. I made waffles for us. I made
bread. Linda called and we talked. She said Mike wants to leave Karen.
Karen said she wanted him to leave but not till after Christmas because
of Emma but he [ ? ] out that Emma would not know about Christmas so he
couldn't see why he should have to stay. When the mail came Pauline had
written a letter. Paul and Karen are having trouble and she thinks they
won't last. I wrote her a long letter and told her about our problems
with Niki. At 9 p.m. Niki came with Sandi and said she was spending the
night with her. So they left. We just don't know what to do about any of
this. We are sick with worry and we feel totally helpless. What should we
do? What will she do when her Mother comes? I am sick at heart.
November 16
It is 10 to 10 and I realize I have been dozing in the TV room with
Scarlett on the TV. Cathy and Rose were here today and they were telling
me how much they were enjoying the program so I went out to watch. I
think I will have to reread the book because I don't remember it very
well. And what kind of day was today? Well it was a mixed bag. We got up
at 5. I did my exercises, read the papers, started a grocery list and
then I got dressed and walked to the Club. It was chilly but not [ ? ]
cold. Had a good workout and walked home so there was my three miles for
today. I read a little before doing some vacuuming and then it was lunch
time and I had to hurry off to the library and that added another extra
mile at least. I chose some books, typed 61 library cards and Don picked
me up at 2. We went through our usual daily talk about Niki. She arrived
home with a sore
197
ankle. She had fallen and hurt herself. Don thought she should go to
Convenient care but she said no. We sat with her and talked and she said
there were something problems and she didn't say with whom and no there
was nothing we could do to help and she couldn't break a confidence and
explain. Then she said she was going to Sarah's but would be home by 5.
We ate at 5 (good dinner: mashed potatoes, stew, salad, bread and
brownies). Niki showed up at 20 to 6 and wasn't hungry. We checked the
ankle, and I said she should stay off of it and not go anywhere tonight.
So she went off to Sarah's as if I had said nothing. Cathy insists that
she should go back to Australia and more and more I think she is right.
Don will not accept that so I don't know what is going to happen. She
went to bed and I showered, pinned up my hair and made my lunch because
tomorrow I go to Chico Junior. I started mustard sauce, made pie crusts
and we still don't know who all are coming to dinner on Thanksgiving.
Could be 12 or 17. Well time will tell. What will it be like with Jenny
here? How will Niki act then?
November 17
Well this day was different. Woke to clouds but no rain. Niki's ankle
still hurt so Don told her he would take her to Convenient Care after he
took me to school. I started out wearing my gray skirt and long gray top
but somehow that didn't look right so I changed to black stirrup pants
and my black and teal sweater. When I called Don to see how Niki was he
said the Doctor said she had a very bad sprain and she was to be on
crutches for a week. So she stayed home today. When I got to Chico Junior
to my horror I found out that both Pat Huskell and Jan had gone to work
at Fairview. That took the wind out of my sails because I was looking
forward to seeing them. Pam Bodner was gone for the day so I was all
alone but I had a very good day, saw a lot of students and there were no
big problems so it was most pleasant. Don picked me up at 3 and he said
when he left Niki had watched Butch Cassidy and loved it. When I arrived
she was watching Schindler's List. I changed my clothes, made grilled
cheese sandwiches, orange and onion salad, and soup for dinner and we had
leftover brownies. Niki had washed and folded clothes, she ate dinner
with us, she did the dishes and she talked at the table. It was all very
unusual. She cried and cried in Schindler's List and I saw some of the
last part and cried as well. It was very moving. Then we watched the
news. Don has a bad headache and has gone to bed. Niki is taking a shower
and I have a new Elizabeth George to read. So I may stay up and read for
awhile. Didn't do any walking today. I miss it when I don't go. Cathy
just called to get the recipe for crybaby drops. She is coming in
tomorrow and she will go over the menu for Thanksgiving. Linda called
this morning and it was snowing so hard at Tahoe that she called to say
she would not be coming to work. No word form Mike today which is
unusual. I enjoyed being at work this day but I have to laugh because I
am so glad I don't have to go to work tomorrow. So I guess it is good
that I am retired. Now I am going to read for awhile.
November 18
198
I woke up a little after 3 and at 4 when I realized Don was awake we
talked for awhile and then at 4:30 we got up. After I fixed breakfast and
did my exercises I ironed. Just think I was done by 5:30. Pretty fancy.
Niki didn't go to the Club because of her ankle so I got her up at 6:45.
Valerie came with the crutches at 7:30 and they were off to school. Don
went to play tennis and I got dressed for the Club. It was cold, clear,
and windy so I put on a lot of clothes. We had a good workout and I
walked home. I worked outside for a bit. Cut back the mums in the south
yard and did a bit of raking and then we had lunch. I then went to
Holiday, S&S and Long's to pick up things that were on sale. I am reading
the latest Elizabeth George Playing for the Ashes. So far I don't like it
so well. We [ ? ] there. For dinner I opened a can of salmon, heated
mashed potatoes and fixed carrots and green beans. Not a great dinner by
any means, but we did eat it. In mid afternoon I carried the square pink
blocks to the camellia bushes and planted them in front. I wonder if I
should set them level with the ground? I will have to think about that.
It is supposed to go down to 27 degrees tonight so I moved the plants all
together and covered them. These are the ones on the north patio. Niki is
spending the night at Valerie's. Thank goodness this is the last chance
before Jenny comes and Niki doesn't go with much any more to stay the
night. Talked to Linda a couple of times today. Lots of snow in Tahoe.
Talked to Jenny and she will have lunch with Don at the Nut Tree and then
they will drive on home. Genevieve is going to take her to the Nut Tree.
I had a nice hot shower.
November 19
I got a lot done today. Woke up too early and was glad when 5 a.m.
arrived. I did my exercises, fixed breakfast and got ready to go grocery
shopping. I got a turkey at Food for Less for 39 cents a pound but I will
go back and get another one on Tuesday. The Cannery was a disappointment
today. There really wasn't anything exciting. Came home and put
everything away. Don was having breakfast out so I emptied the dishwasher
and then I wrapped the leftover rug pieces that have been taking the room
in the apartment kitchen closet and had Don put them above the cupboards
in the back back. Also labeled some things from the closet and put them
in the shed. Then I cleaned the bathroom, and vacuumed and tomorrow I
will wash the floor. Had lunch and then I cleaned the north patio, raked
leaves and made everything look nice. For dinner I made cream and egg
cheese sauce on toast. I made a chocolate mousse and my new electric
mixer worked very well. I also made a chocolate sauce and I made egg
salad for sandwiches. Don's book arrived hot off the press. He got two
copies and he sent one to Ed. It looks very nice. Linda called and we had
a good visit. I had come across the editorial Bill Lee had written in
reply to Don's letter to the Editor when we retired. Don had made copies
and sent them to the kids and she had gotten hers. Niki and Valerie came
by in mid afternoon and then Niki went out again to fix Valerie's hair
etc. for the Twerp Dance tonight. She had done that last year too. She
just got home a short time ago and I asked her if she would have liked to
go. She said she had thought she would go with Loren but then they broke
up. She was sad that Valerie had spent $200 on this. What with a dress,
taking them out to
199
dinner, etc. and the tickets. I want to wash and set my hair tonight so I
will look good tomorrow when Jenny arrives. I told Niki she was coming
and got no reaction at all. I worry that this is going to be a difficult
time all the way around. My hands are so dry and sore. I must make an
appointment with Dr. Schwartz and hopefully he will be able to do
something about my eczema. Now I am going to read for awhile. There was
ice on the grass this morning. The nights are really getting cold.
November 20
We got up at 5. Chilly but not as cold as last night. Did my exercises,
read the paper, and got dressed to go to church. Took food for the poor
for Thanksgiving. I realized this morning that I really don't feel much
of anything at church. I feel uncomfortable with Father DeLeone and he
antagonizes me and I feel bad about this. I miss Father O'Hara so much.
Well anyway we went to Safeway afterwards for milk and then home. I
changed my clothes and finished up cleaning the apartment. I washed the
linoleum and checked the vacuuming again. Don left at 10 for the Nut Tree
so I did the living room, TV room, and washed the kitchen floor. Niki
washed and folded clothes. I cut up at chicken and got it ready for the
oven, did augratin potatoes, made an oatmeal bread (new recipe). I worked
outside raking leaves and putting them in the garbage can. Bill came and
finally got the quince roots out. Leaving the ground and we are to run
water on the roots to get all the dirt off and he will take it away
finally. It cost $75. I gave him cash. I feel guilty spending so much
money on that damn bush! Jenny and Don arrived and Jenny looks just the
same. Niki had walked to Sandi's so she called at dinner time and Don
went to get her. They embraced but Jenny was the one to take the step and
that was that. If I were a mom and I came halfway around the world to see
my children I would feel very bad about the cold reception. Very sad. The
dinner was great. The chicken, potatoes, green beans, kiwi fresh
pineapple and persimmon slices, the bread I made, and chocolate mousse.
Jason called. His car is not working but he hopes to have it fixed. Craig
and Linda are coming and David and Marilyn are coming for Thanksgiving.
We had a good visit with Jenny. Now everyone is in bed but me.
November 21 - clear, chilly in the morning
I keep waking up at 3:30 a.m. and have great trouble getting back to
sleep. So we got up a little before 5. Niki didn't go to the Club and
Valerie came at 7:30 to pick her up. Don went off to play tennis and I
left at 8 to get to Hospice. They had a great Thanksgiving spread with
scones, muffins, etc. and hot cider. I filed and put stickers on
envelopes and I was done at 10 so came on home. Then Jenny and I went to
Food for Less and the Cannery and I got another turkey plus a few other
things and at the Cannery I got water chestnuts and ice milk. Came home
and had lunch and read and finally finished my book Playing for Ashes by
Elizabeth George about a cricket player who gets involved with a
beautiful married woman and gets killed by accident because the killer
thinks she is killing the other woman. 602 pages and very well written.
For dinner I made chili and a
200
fruit plate and french bread. Niki went downtown after school with Sarah
and didn't get home for dinner. But with Jenny here I just don't worry so
much and I realize that is a mistake because once she goes and we are in
charge again the whole thing will start over. So we will still at square
one. Then Jenny was talking to Cathy and she was worried about not enough
room or chairs, or silverware, etc. and I said why don't we have it here
and Jenny told Cathy that on the phone and she said great. So she will
bring the turkey, the potatoes and green beans and two pies and I will do
the rest and there will be enough silverware and dishes etc. I am
relieved and Cathy probably is too. But now I will have to get in gear
and get really busy tomorrow because I will have to clean the house etc.
I will still work at the library but I won't go to the Club. Chatted with
Priss and then watched TV with Jenny. Niki actually did some homework
tonight. I am tired and I think rather than begin a new book I will just
go to bed.
November 23 (on November 22 page)
I slept a little longer last night so I was awake for only about an hour
before getting up. Don didn't play tennis today but he worked really hard
outside working on the lawn, watering, etc. I didn't go to the Club but
worked here at home. I ironed the brown tablecloth and Don's shirt's and
slacks. Jenny made squash soup so she was busy in the kitchen. We had
lunch and then I walked to the library and it was very pleasant - not too
cold or windy. I had a lot of cards to type but I got them all done and
all filed just as Don arrived. He and Jenny went to see the woman lawyer
who is with Mr. Persons and I guess she was very helpful. Jenny found it
good because she got a lot of information. She will be talking to Niki
sometime at the weekend. When I got home from the library I walked to
Lucky to get French bread and I got a little more walking in. Then I
found out that David and Marilyn were not coming because Marilyn was not
feeling well. So I called Mary to tell her that Don would pick her up but
she said she was not coming. She had called a woman in Dunham who had
invited her some time ago and she had told her she didn't know. I was
upset because I just assumed she would come. But Linda and Craig are
coming and Jason and his friend are coming so that will make 14. Cathy
brought in the bean casserole and the rest will come tomorrow. We plan to
start at 5. I hope it goes well. So there has been much talk about Niki.
Jenny doesn't want to make us official guardians and she seems to be very
realistic about the problem. Niki bought a jacket from Loren of all
people for $35 since she lost her one that cost $75. She is an expensive
one to take care of. The sad part is that she ends up looking so awful
with baggy grunge. Well time will tell what will happen with all this. I
am tired and am going to bed.
Up at 5 and by 7 I had the first pie in the oven and when it came out I
put another one in and then did it once more. Two chocolate cheese and
one pecan. Got the ham out. Then I shampooed and set my hair. Jenny and I
went for a walk around the Mall. It was not too clear but it wasn't cold.
Had lunch and then Jenny and I got the leaf for the table, put the
201
dark brown cloth on and a flat basket with fruit and veggies in it for
the centerpiece. Then I made rolls and when the vegetable relish plate
was done my part was done. Cathy brought the turkey, potatoes, dressing,
two pies, squash, gravy and green beans. It was all very nice. Niki
helped me make the rolls and fixed the relish plate but then when the
people all came she went to her room. Came out to eat but didn't talk to
anyone. Moses, Jason's boy who is from Korea was very nice. Craig and
Linda got here at about 3 and Jason arrived shortly after. Priss came at
about 5:15. We all had drinks and then we ate. There was wine. People ate
a lot and then there was dessert with all the pies! Niki was very
helpful. She helped me with the rolls and she did the relish plate. But
she didn't dress up and when the people came she went to her room. She
did come out and eat but then went back to her room again. She is so
strange. Once in a while I catch glimpses of how she used to be but then
she goes back to not saying anything to any of us and isolating herself.
I feel so sorry for her because she seems so unhappy but I don't know how
to help her. Linda and Craig both looked great. They are staying at a
motel and now Jason and Moses just left. They are going to stay the night
with Cathy. Don did up the dishes and every pot and pan. He is now in bed
very tired. Niki left for Sarah's before anyone left and now at 8:45 she
is still not back. It is raining and it is nice to be inside. But I am
happy to have the rain. The York girls all looked so nice. They were all
dressed up. They don't seem interested in the grunge look, thank
goodness. One is enough in the family. I am very tired so I think I will
go to bed soon.
Another busy day. We actually slept in till 6. I couldn't believe it. I
did wake up a lot in the night but still. So we got up and I didn't do
any of my exercises. I did read the paper carefully not that there was
all that much to warrant the time spent. Then Jenny got up and then Linda
arrived. We talked about my eczema and they came up with a number of
things I should do that help. So I made a list and was just walking out
the door to go to try to buy some of these things when Donna and Jill
arrived. They both looked fine and they seemed glad to see us. So
naturally I came back in. It all went very easily. We talked about
everything and I offered to have them eat something but they had stopped
at the Nut Tree and so they didn't want anything. Linda and Jenny had
gone out just before they came so they came back and that helped. I ate
lunch and then went to get some of the things they had suggested but I
got only one at S&S. I guess I will have to order the rest. I thawed
three hot dishes and by then Jason and Moses decided to eat dinner here.
Niki went off with Genevieve and they were gone for the whole afternoon
and then Niki called to say she was eating dinner and so we ended up with
just 9 for dinner. I made a big salad, and we had hot french bread that
Don and I had picked up at Lucky. This way we did get a walk in. So the
dinner went well: Craig, Linda, Jenny Donna, Don and I at the table and
Jason, Jill and Moses at the table in the apartment. There was pie left
over for those who wanted it. Then Jason and Moses left and will spend
the night at Cathy's and Craig and Linda left to go out to Cathy's to
visit so they left Jill and Donna because Niki went over
202
to Loren's house to some kind of a get together. I visited with Donna and
then she and Jill went to bed. Genevieve told Jenny that Niki has been
smoking pot just about every time she goes over to Sarah's. And the
Mother joins in. This is one big mess and what the answer is and what
Niki will be willing to do is a big question. I am going to bed.
I have cuts on my right thumb and third finger and it makes it painful to
write. Well today finally ended the Thanksgiving part. At 4:30 Donna got
up and woke Jill and after a light breakfast they were on their way. We
really enjoyed having them and I hope Ty and Jill will be able to drive
out this summer. After they left I stripped the bed and washed the
sheets. I neated up the living room and put all the bedding away. Then it
was time to go grocery shopping with Mary. Nothing exciting at either
store but I got two ten pound bags of mandarins and they are very nice
ones. These I got at the Food Market. Came home and put all the groceries
away. From then on till about 2 p.m. it was a [ ? ] of people coming and
going. Drinking coffee, eating snacks - Linda making coffee for Craig who
was working on Jason's car. Jenny going to lunch with Bessie. Cathy
planning to take Linda to lunch but then going to get a hair cut and not
getting back in time so they both ate here before Linda left. Jason and
Moses in and out. They ate breakfast at Mary's and raked her leaves. Niki
got up and had some breakfast and then went to Sarah's for the day. After
awhile I was tired of it all. When one gets older and more set in our
ways we resent all the muss and fuss and so by the time everyone had left
I was relieved. I love them all but they tire me out. Jenny is getting
tough with Niki. She took Sandi, Dani and Niki to Sandy's and went in to
meet the parents. Later Niki called saying she wanted to spend the night
with Dani. Jenny said that she had to have the Mother call to be sure
they were going to actually be there. But last week Niki said Dani lived
in Durham but the Mother said they lived in Paradise so where was Niki
last week when she arrived at the Yorks on Sunday and asked for a ride
home? Genevieve came and talked at length with Jenny. Rick Cherry talked
at length by phone and is coming to see that she gets his car again while
she is here. So tomorrow Niki and her Mother are going to have a long
talk. Don is a nervous wreck and so I don't know how things will work
out.
November 27 - rain, cold, dark (on November 26 page)
Another day in this soap opera. We got up at 5 and looked at the papers
before getting ready to go to church. It was really cold this morning.
Not freezing but damp and chilly. Took Mary to church and then after we
went to Safeway for milk, etc. When we got home we expected Niki by 11
because that was when she said she would arrive but she didn't come and
finally at 12:30 she called to say they had just gotten up and would be
down but she didn't get into town till 3:30 and then she called from
Sandi's. So Don picked her up. I took the ironing board into the music
room and did all the ironing and I planned the clothes I plan to take to
the Discovery Shop on Tuesday afternoon. I made a potato salad, thawed
French bread, fixed peas and carrots. Finally when Niki got home her
Mother
203
talked to her but to no avail. She can't say that she has done nothing
wrong. She blames her Mother for everything and so the whole plan to talk
rationally and convincingly was a fiasco. She said she didn't want any
dinner so we ate but none of us enjoyed it. Then Jenny called, Genevieve
and she invited them down weekend after next and hopefully that will
help. Jenny called Rick Cherry and he had some good suggestions on how to
approach Sarah's Mother. She told Niki they were going over after school
tomorrow or she would go to the school and find out where she lived and
go over. Well Rick made some good suggestions about that. So the whole
day revolved around what was going to happen to Niki. Don wants to go to
the police and have her put in Juvenile Hall. He would like a drug bust
as well. Jenny and I would rather go another route but who knows who is
right or how Niki will react to any of this. So far she denies takes no
blame, hates her Mother, says it is all her fault. Well it is a mess and
I can't say anything's getting any better at the moment. I think
Christmas is going to be a ghastly affair and all the days leading up to
it. How it will end is anybody's guess.
It is 10 after 9 and I am already ready for bed. Last night Jenny and I
stayed up to watch J Garner in I Still Like LA and it was from 9 -11 so I
got to bed late. So we woke up this morning at 6 ! Had to rush around and
Don took Niki at 7 to the Club. I walked to the Club - very cold going
but nice coming back. Had a good workout and I had not been there for a
week. When I got home I made appointments to see Dr. Battenich, Heath,
canceled Dr. Schwartz, and made appointment to get a mammogram at 3:30
today. I showered and set my hair and made a lemon souffle, had lunch and
read a bit. Then decided to make the oatmeal bread that everyone liked
last time I made it. I finished making it after I got back from the
mammogram at 4:20 but it didn't rise enough in the oven till 8! Next time
I think I will try bread flour. I also made oatmeal for tomorrow morning.
We had spaghetti, green salad, and french bread for dinner with the lemon
souffle. Niki got home from school and said she was going to Sandy's and
was gone. Jenny had planned to have her take her to Sarah's to meet the
Mother but she said she was at work. She didn't come home for dinner. She
came later and then said she was going to Sarah's and was gone before
Jenny could go with her. She is being just about as difficult as she can
be. Now she wants to talk to us alone but I think she will just try to
con us. Don is sure he can turn her around but I am just as sure we
can't. Jackie called and told Don that Dale is not feeling well, had left
a movie and went outside and passed out and his face was all banged up
and his nose was broken. It will be set tomorrow. Tomorrow I go to
Hospice in the morning and to the Discovery Shop in the afternoon. We
will be eating leftovers for sure. But there is enough I am sure. I put a
turkey in the apartment fridge and we will have that on Sunday. All is
quiet here. Don is in bed with a headache and Niki has gone to her room
for the night and Jenny is in the apartment. Linda called to suggest that
our fabric softener may be affecting my skin and I will get unscented at
the store. Steve Y. is failing and I called Mary to say she should call
us day
204
or night if he gets worse and she wants to go. Now I am going to bed.
November 28 page
Here it is Tuesday night and when I opened this up I realized I had not
written in this. Mix up and I can't figure where I went wrong but somehow
I have missed a day.
November 29
It is Tuesday night and everyone is in bed but me. This has been a very
difficult day for all of us. It started out as usual. Niki went to the
Club. Don went to play tennis and I went to Hospice but Colleen did not
come and she had not left anything for me so after 45 minutes I came
home. As I walked back I realized that I was very tired and upset about
this whole Niki business and I thought this isn't really living the way
we are going and I just wanted to put an end to the whole thing and my
life as well. I realized that was not to be so when I got home I made a
pasta salad and made frosted chocolate cookies that Don likes. Jenny had
called the Quaker School in Grass Valley and they are to send brochures.
I called Barbara Boyle because I knew they had sent their daughter to a
private school but that wasn't the one. We had lunch and then I got ready
to go to the Discovery Shop. On the way I told Don how I felt this
morning. Well the afternoon went fast. We made over $100 and then when we
got home I set out all the leftover salads spaghetti etc. Niki came to
the table and ate with us and cleaned the dishes. Then she gave us the
list she had made up and we went into the living room to talk about it.
Well since we pointed out some things she started to get very angry. Said
that she would never go back to Australia, never wanted to be with her
Mother, that her Mother didn't have any right to tell her what to do.
That she would run away if she had to go to boarding school. Well it went
on and on. Jenny tried to remain calm although how she did it I don't
know because everything Niki said to her was so wounding. Finally Don
suggested that we think about this and talk again another day. He and
Niki went out to have a cigarette and Jenny went over to the apartment
and sobbed. I went over and tried to comfort her but what could I say
about Niki's cruel words. I tried on the things I brought from the
Discovery Shop but really didn't like any of them I think I will have to
return them all. Linda called with more things I can do for my eczema but
I don't think I will spend any more money on all this right at the
moment. Both Don and I are torn about Niki's staying here. Don is more
optimistic than I am about her changing. Everyone says she is
manipulative and I think she is too. Of course all kids are that way some
of the time. We got a note from school saying that Niki and another girl
were in the boy's bathroom with a boy - We are going to the school
tomorrow to find out about that. So how will all of this end? I have no
idea but probably Niki will win. And what will all this do to Don and me?
I don't think it will be good frankly. Don looks terrible these days and
I don't look much better. We really don't have much of a life of our own.
Most of the time we spend worrying about Niki. That is not a good
situation I realize. And the other three children will be very upset when
they find out that Niki will probably be staying on. The big question is
will Niki actually
205
change?
November 30
Not too bad a day. Better than yesterday as far as emotions are
concerned. We got up at 5. Don and Jenny had the last of the oatmeal. Don
took Niki to the Club. Jenny came later and she was still very hurt about
last night. I walked to the Club and it was a bright morning not too
cold. I enjoyed the walk although I seemed tired. A rather dull session.
Luann was not there and I don't like the other girl although some [are]
very fond of her. Don picked me up and when we got home I called Pete
Krover but he was not in. He called back later and set a meeting for
2:15. So I fixed lunch and then I walked to the library. I had pinned up
my hair last night and I put on my red slacks and sweater and a scarf
Priss had given me that was red print. Had 62 cards and got them typed
and filed by the time Don got there at 2. We [ ? ] Pete on schedule. He
gave Niki one Saturday school morning for being in the bathroom with a
boy and another girl. Probably smoking and then this morning she was
caught smoking so that was another Saturday school morning. He said she
is an angry young lady and that is a good description. We talked about
continuation school and he is going to follow up on that. She got home
and was mad because her Mom was still with Debbie. Later when Jenny did
get home Niki got mad and swore at her. This is all very unpleasant
indeed. If this goes on the whole time Jenny is here it is going to be a
long miserable time. In the morning E-R. Jackie Barnhardt's suit against
Joe Conlin and Charlie Geshekter was over the front page and all the
awful things Joe said about her were there. Priss called this morning
saying the doctors have told Pat Dobbie there is no hope and she has
about two months to live. I am not surprised but still it is hard. So
tonight I made the waffle, sausage, cheese, pickle, and fruit plate
dinner and it was all so good but Niki did not come to eat with us and
Jenny was quiet and sad. I don't know what is going to happen with all
this. Well tomorrow I don't have to go anywhere. I have come to look
forward to Thursdays.
December 1 - fog - mist - 53°
Up at 5. Not so cold. Got Niki up at 6 but she said she didn't feel great
and so she didn't get up till 6:45. Then Mary called to say that Steve
had died at 5:40. David was here and they went right away but he was
gone. Still Mary seemed to be taking it quite well. I called here later
to say I could bring something but she said they would eat out. I will
take something tomorrow. I cleaned out and straightened up the hall linen
closet and it looks just great now. Talked a little with Jenny and she
with me. She wants to take a tough stand and I want to take a gentler
one. We did not agree. Later Mike called and was even tougher about it
all. He made out Niki was into very strong drugs and had serious
problems. Don and I do not agree with such a drastic picture and yet
Jenny is the one with the final say. I find it very hard to deal with. I
went for a walk this morning and went back to Walgreens to get new dental
tape. Mine was not working right. Went to Longs to get two cans of red
salmon. Tried to find a new bulb for the freezer, in the afternoon I
read. It
206
was too nasty to go out. Jenny went to talk to Sarah's Mother and that
went well. Niki came home from school in good spirits. She ate dinner
with us: I got the french stew out and made a green salad. Linda called a
number of times. She was very upset about Steve. She wanted to come down
but late today she decided the weather was too uncertain and so she is
not going to risk it. Tonight I watched the news and them called Priss.
She is not going to Bakersfield but will be here for the holidays. That
complicated things. Well we will work out something. We watched The
Little Budha and it was simply lovely. Very interesting indeed. Now
everyone is in bed and best that I go myself.
December 2 - foggy - misty
A quite rather uneventful day but now I look forward to such a day
without any trauma. We got up at 5 and did the usual thing. Niki got up
at 6 and went to the Club. There was no tennis because of the fog and
misty rain now and then. I walked to the Club. Wore my pimento colored
rain coat with black trim and black hat. A substitute today who was ok if
not great. Don walked over and we walked back together. Stopped and had
my glasses adjusted again and this time they don't hurt. Didn't do much
when I got home. Jenny needed the car to have lunch with Mike Sterling.
We had lunch and then when Jenny got back we went to Safeway to get some
things with our coupon book. I made a salmon loaf, baked potatoes, flat
green beans, apple waldorf salad and brownies. I also made up the mashed
potatoes to go with the turkey I will cook Sunday. Tomorrow Don and Jenny
will drive to Davis so she can pick up Rick's Mercedes. She heard today
that she got another six months and won't have to come back to work till
July. Niki came home from school with Sandy and Sarah. They went to
Sarah's and then back here. Don took them to Sandy's after we had dinner.
They would not eat here though I offered to have them because we had
plenty. Got a note from Martha Menard. She has moved to a townhouse in
Evanston and she sounded happy. I hope she has some good years because
she was devoted to George for so long. Talked to Linda. She wanted help
on making up a basket for Chris and Caela, her bosses: sweet mustard
sauce, chutney and home made mayonnaise. Then almonds and walnuts. I
found some watching jars and we will put it all together when she comes
down. Talked to Mary and she is not going shopping tomorrow. She sounded
ok though. I hope she too has some years ahead now for a bit. I read for
awhile and then Don suggested a drink and we had Manhattans and then we
went to bed and made love and it was lovely. Niki was at Sandy's. I just
wish we could do this more often.
December 3 - rain all day
Knowing I would not get Mary to go shopping we got up a little later. It
had rained in the night and it rained all day. Very hard at times. Well
because Mary wasn't going Don asked if he could go and I said yes. I
can't explain why it doesn't work when Don goes but that is the truth.
Somehow I can't think right with him pushing the cart. I spent $31 at
Food for Less and yet it didn't seem as if I got anything! Same at the
Cannery. I end up
207
feeling angry and frustrated and yet I realize it is not his fault. Well
anyway we got back before 9 and then Jenny and D set off for Davis. I
should have done lots of things but really I did very little. I made
dressing for the turkey and while I was doing that Niki called for a ride
home and I had to tell her that there was no car here. She ended up
walking in the rain but she didn't seem to mind. She vacuumed, changed
her sheets and we did three loads of clothes. Then she went to Sarah's.
They got back at about 2. They said it had rained all the way and it was
very difficult driving. Well then Mrs. Smith came wondering if we knew
where Sandi was. She and Jenny went to Beth's - the family that lives in
the Roll house where Niki and Dani were babysitting. Sandi was not there
but finally Niki admitted that she was in Paradise with a 19 year old
boy! What next? Well Niki came home for dinner. We had soup and I had
made last night's salmon loaf into sandwich spread so we had sandwiches
chips and mandarins and for dessert brownies with ice cream and chocolate
sauce. Then Niki wanted to go back to Beth's and Jenny said no because
Dani spells trouble. Every one of the adults involved agree on that and
so there was a big fight and Niki went anyway. However she came back,
showered and went to bed. I took the ironing board in the bedroom [ ? ]
from ours and I got all the ironing done. Don watched a ball game while
lying down. The information came from the school - Grass Valley and it
looks like a great place. Jenny says that Niki simply cannot stay here so
what will happen is up for grabs. Whatever it will be a bad scene I am
sure. If only there were some simple answers.
December 4 - we have had over 7 inches of rain so far!
I woke up at 4 but stayed in bed till 5. Don and I keep going over the
same ground day after day. We don't seem to be able to think of anything
else. If and when Niki's future is settled we will be without any
conversation. Anyway we got up and did the usual things. We fixed
breakfast and I did my exercises and we waited for the papers. Later we
went to Mass, Father DeLeone had never come in contact with the Yakich's
because Mary asked him to announce Steve's death in that part of the
ceremony. He should have been aware. We got home and I changed my clothes
and went to S&S to get some things. Don went to lunch at Jackie's. I
spent most of the day cooking. Jenny and Niki had one verbal battle after
another. Last night Niki was so angry that she told her Mother they had
to restrain herself so that she did not beat the shit out of her. How can
all this end? I feel that I am on the edge of a presipies all the time. I
know that word isn't spelled right but who cares. So I made a pound cake,
made rolls, cooked a turkey, made a relish dish. Had done the potatoes on
Friday, made gravy. So we had a good dinner but things are so strained
all the time that no one enjoys it. Jenny says she is going to check out
the school in Grass Valley this week. She tells Niki she has two choices,
the school in Grass Valley or back to Australia and Niki claims she won't
do either. At this rate Christmas is going to be a barrel of fun! I have
a splitting headache. I would like to cry but I won't. Talked to Priss.
Went for a walk with Jenny. No word from the rest of the family. Would
like my sister to write but realize it is difficult for her. Rained a lot
in the night and this morning but it
208
cleared by mid afternoon. I am tired, weary and sad.
December 5
Today was not such a bad day. We woke up a little before 5. Dark, rainy
but not too cold. Did my 20 minutes of exercises, got Niki up and they
went off to the Club. I read the papers and then got dressed and walked
to the Club, carried an umbrella but didn't need it going but I did on
the way home. I changed my clothes and cleaned both bathrooms and then I
washed and set my hair. I tried not to smoke today but I did have one. If
Don didn't smoke it would be no problem but when he goes outside I want
to go out to be with him and then I end up having one. Damn! I made
another batch of the oatmeal bread. This time I made the full recipe but
I had Jenny buy some regular yeast and I used part bread flour. I ended
up with three big loaves. Priss stopped by and brought me some persimmons
and a book and an article. Niki came home and very quietly told us that
she had seen Mr. Jones and had gotten permission to check out jobs, the
Park Avenue School and she will check Continuation school as well. She
told her Mother about it too and there was no shouting or arguing. Don is
upset. He ate very light dinner and spent the evening lying on the bed
watching TV. I am not quite sure what he wants in all this. He wants
always to be in charge and right now he is not. We had a good dinner:
cold sliced turkey, leftover potatoes, gravy and dressing, cranberry
jello salad and pound cake if one were interested. Jenny was quiet and
withdrawn today too so I don't know what the scoop is. I think we all
want some kind of a decision but I guess it won't be like that for awhile
and whatever the decision is it won't please everyone. It is just 9:30
but I am not really tired enough to go to bed and I hate to wake up in
the night and lie there because the time goes so slowly and I just think
of all the things to worry about and I have no solutions. This is a very
tough time for all of us. I think the fact that the weather is bad and
one can't go outside much doesn't help either. Well tomorrow I go to
Hospice in the morning and that will get me out of the house for awhile.
Our car is being repaired, clutch is out and the starter isn't working
well. We don't need this right now as well.
December 6
Well today was a little better than yesterday. Up at 5. Was awake off and
on in the night. Did all my exercises and then got dressed to go to
Hospice. Took my umbrella so it didn't rain. I have decided my job is
rather like a low level secretary and an elementary school teacher. I
alphabetize, I filed, I check bulletin boards. I am not complaining but
it would help if I had a manual typewriter. Got off early so I started
home. There was a nasty southeast wind so I turned at San Ramon and came
that way. When I got home Jenny said that Don had walked to meet me so
obviously we had missed each other. He finally called from Hospice and
Jenny drove to get him. He is very depressed and despondent and that
didn't help. After lunch I suggested we go to the Mall to see if we can
find anything for Christmas. Well the Chico Mall was busy and everyone
looked as if they knew what they were doing. They had packages etc. so we
left feeling out of place. Don stopped at Mason
209
and hopefully our car will be back by tomorrow noon. I made a green salad
and Spanish ricearoni for dinner. Niki was gone all day and naturally she
isn't talking so we don't know what she accomplished. She is going to
make an appointment tomorrow to talk to the people at Continuation
school. She didn't get home till late. She called at 4:30 from Beth's in
the old Roll house. She would come back later. Suddenly Don said what he
would like for Christmas is a really warm jacket so Jenny ordered one
from Eddie Bauer. It will go along with an order from Linda because she
will get 20 percent off and then the three girls can put in a little and
I will pay the rest. I just hope he will like the one we picked. I am
going to check on ones here in town just in case. I showered and shaved
my legs etc. before calling Priss tonight. Don and Jenny are watching
Speed but I backed out. I keep reading my driving handbook so I can take
my test to renew my licence.
December 7 - cold and clear
Woke up to a very chilly morning. I didn't want to get out of bed but
since I had been awake long time I figured I might as well get up. Anyway
I had oatmeal to cook. Then I got ready to go to the Club. Niki didn't
want to go the Club but then when I woke her at 6:45 she didn't want to
get up either. She is spending the week finding out about alternative
education and I shudder to think how her grades will turn out because she
isn't doing any homework and she is missing classes running around. I try
not to think about it but is isn't easy. It is mighty chilly walking at 8
and even at 9:20 but I did it. I didn't do much and it as time to eat
lunch so I could walk to the library. I seem to do a hell of a lot of
walking. The work there went well. I just wish I had a typewriter that
typed the later E. Hopefully they will service the machine in January and
fix it. Don picked me up at 2 and in our car. So the clutch is fixed
along with all the other things that were wrong. Don and I had a
cigarette and then I came in the house and changed to my housecoat
because I was cold. I got out all the leftovers and prepared them for
dinner. Most of them went into the oven. Niki came home with Sara and
then left with her but came back at 4:15 so that Don could take her to
see the therapist at 4:30. I heated up all the stuff and she got back at
5:30 but she said she was not hungry and didn't come to the table and she
didn't say anything about her session. And we didn't ask. Then she went
back to Sarah's. We had said we would talk to her tonight but now it is
after 8 and she isn't back yet so that is out. Jenny is talking about
going up to Tahoe on Saturday and coming back on Wednesday. I would
rather she didn't because nothing is settled and I hate the weekends
because one never knows where Niki is going to be but I can understand
Jenny's wanting to go. Really right now Don and I spend all of our time
worrying about how this whole thing is going to end. I just wish we could
put it all out of our minds. No word from my sister. I wish she would
write. Started reading The Shipping News. It is certainly different. I
still don't know what I am going to get Priss and just about everyone
else. We did order the jacket for Don from Eddie Bauer this morning.
December 8
210
It was bitterly cold, bitter cold the Cor Sgt. said and it was mighty
chilly here in Chico this morning. Right after breakfast and the paper
and the exercises, etc. I pinned up my hair and later I took a shower so
that I could go to Dr. Bostwick at 10:30. I walked and I was ok because I
dressed warm. Everything was ok and I don't have to go back to him any
more unless Dr. Foltz thinks I should. That was good news. Came home and
had lunch and I ran a load of clothes, washed a sweater and tomorrow I
will iron. Then I tried two new recipes: one was a dip with mock crab
that is baked and the other was a new cookie recipe - chewy chocolate and
the dip turned out to be just so-so but the cookies were grand. Jenny
talked to Rick Cherry and he suggested that Jenny and Niki put down on
paper a thorough study of the situation. Jenny is going to Tahoe on
Saturday and that will give them time to think about it all and then they
will discuss it on Wednesday when she gets back. Linda called and she
plans on taking courses at a Junior College in Carson City to become a
nurse! And we talked to Mike and he seemed to be in good spirits. Niki
went over to Nicole Van Rossum's and Zack, Nicole and Niki went to a
movie. Well we had a movie too: Widow's Peak and it was very good. Too
bad that Don left before it was over because there was a surprise ending.
Had a long visit with Priss tonight. It was a good phone call. Tomorrow
Don and I will go to Target to see if we can find something for Emma. He
thinks we should buy a Size 3. I am bored with cooking and I find it hard
to come up with something every night. Well tomorrow night Jenny is going
to have dinner with David Hoppe that should be interesting. We seem to
have interesting children who come up with all kinds of things. Now I
will say goodnight.
December 9
I have so many cracked fingers tonight that it is hard to write here and
I think it will be hard to get to sleep. Another day and still I have
done little about Christmas. I did not go to the Club this morning.
Instead I stayed here and vacuumed, washed all the little rugs and then
got dressed and Don and I went to Target to buy a dress for Emma. I
wasn't exactly thrilled with it but it was the best of the lot. Then we
had lunch and I got busy getting the stuff ready for Jenny to take up to
Tahoe tomorrow. Linda wanted almonds and walnuts and the chutney and the
recipe and baskets and mandarins. I got all these things together and now
they are in the trunk of Jenny's car. I then went to Walgreens to buy
some things and realized I had left my wallet at home so I came back to
get it and then went to Holiday to pick up some things and to Thrifty to
get one of those deals to put on a bed to lean on while reading or
looking at the TV for Don. It is a lovely shade of deep rose and matches
some of the color in our bed spread. Came home and made a fourth batch of
chewy chocolate cookies and filled a tin for Linda along with a can of
almonds. For dinner I made bacon, eggs and pancakes for Don and I had two
eggs and a piece of the good new bread I am making now. Niki went to
Beth' s and called saying she didn't want any dinner and would be home
later. Jenny was having dinner with Hoppe and he came to pick her up at
6. He looks much the same only heavier and older but just as nice as
always. I had done all the ironing in the afternoon and was weary so I
got into
211
my warm pajamas and tried to read but dozed a bit too. Niki called to say
she was staying the night at Beth's and would be back at 7:30 to go to
Saturday school to make up cuts. I am sure she is there with Dani and I
don't know the answer to that. Don went to bed and Jenny came home having
had a good time with Hoppe one of her former husbands. Now I am going to
bed. Shopping day tomorrow for the week's groceries.
December 10
It was a cold night and hard to get up this morning. I cheated some on
the exercises and since I don't walk as much I should start that again
and do more sit ups etc. I picked up Mary at 7:15 and at the Food Market
I got more mandarins and some leaf lettuce and some persimmons. Then on
to the other two stores and back home by 9:15. Niki was at Saturday
school to make up cuts and Jenny was ready to go to Tahoe. Don picked up
Niki at 10 and she went over to Dani's but she wanted to go shopping with
Sandy so Don gave her $50 to buy Christmas presents but she must show him
the receipts. So we had the day to ourselves. We had lunch and I went to
Safeway and got things with the coupons. I made tuna salad for sandwiches
and opened a can of soup for our dinner. We went for a walk but it was
rather brief. My right shoulder hurt a lot today and the splits in my
fingers are painful. We read and watched the news, both won at solitaire
and no word from Niki till after I had talked to Priss and was taking a
shower. Then she called saying that she was going to spend the night with
Dani. Finally I guess he said she could. So then all the old questions
came up again. Where does Dani live? Is she staying with Beth who lives
in the Roll house with two little kids - so somehow we are back to square
1. I realize that two people in there 70's are not much fun to be around
when one is 16. If there were other children here it would be more fun
but we are pretty dull company for her. Part of me wants her here with us
because we know she is safe but part of me wants her somewhere else that
would be safe because she never talks to us anymore and so there is no
communication. I am at a loss. Don and I wanted to make love but now we
are not in the mood because we don't know what the scoop is.
December 11 - rain!
It is 7:30 p.m and it is raining. It tried off and on all day but didn't
get to it till about an hour ago. I wonder if it is somehow in Tahoe. I
just want Jenny to come back on Wednesday as planned. Niki is over at
Nicole's working on an assignment because our computer is being repaired.
Don took her over some time ago. We got up this morning a little later
than usual and decided not to go to church today. Mary was going to Reno
with friends at 8 a.m. today and I just hope she has a good time. I
finally told Don this morning that I really don't see anything to look
forward to in my future. Oh I fill my days with Hospice, the library, and
the Discovery Shop but we have no social life and "When are we going to
start having fun?" is more than just a funny line. We haven't had fun for
a long time and we haven't gone out of town for so long that I can't even
remember when it was. Well anyway I ran a load of clothes and then I went
to S&S to get my Suka and
212
some apples. When I got back it was time to fold the clothes and I did
that and then went for a walk for 40 minutes before coming back for
lunch. I made the menu for tonight. I made cornbread dressing, fixed the
salad greens, found some pork loin pieces and fixed them in a good sauce,
baked potatoes and we had the chocolate cookies for dessert. Niki got
back at about 12:30. She washed clothes, showered, etc. and even ate
dinner with us. That was unusual. She did the dishes and then went to Van
Rossums. I finished my book Literary Murder by Batya Gur. I enjoyed it
very much. I must work on preparing myself for the DMV test. I would like
to get it out of [the] way before Christmas if possible. And what am I
going to do about Christmas? I just can't get started on buying anything.
I did get out some of the decorations but my heart just isn't in it. What
is wrong with me? I am so discouraged. Niki came home with Nicole who
stayed the night. They slept in the apartment.
December 12
Woke up to rain. Did my exercises but my right shoulder hurt so much that
I didn't want to do any of it. Got Nicole and Niki up at 6:45. Don took
them to school at 7:30. I dressed very warm with a pair of heavy pants
over my tights and my black sheep lined jacket and my umbrella so I made
it to the Club although I was pretty wet. Got a good workout with Luanne.
She was gone last week and it was good to have her back. Don picked me up
and we drove home. I was glad he had come to get me. Don ran errands and
I cut up the rest of the turkey and I made a stew. Then we went to the
Mall and got cards for David and Niki for their birthdays on Friday. I
got a pair of black sox and that was it. We ate lunch and I read and Don
napped. Niki, Sandy and Valerie came after school and she went Christmas
shopping. I did the salad and made a vanilla pudding. Don and I ate
dinner. Niki came later but she just had some cereal. So we watched the
local news but Peter Jennings wasn't on because of Monday night football.
I called Priss and talked to her and then I called Alice. She is very
busy with sewing and we agreed to just exchange homemade candy and
nothing else for Christmas. Linda called. Jenny had gone to work with her
today and on the way home they got caught in a small storm but made it.
They had gone to Reno on Sunday to shop. Tomorrow is supposed to be ok
but another storm is due in on Wednesday. I just hope Jenny gets back ok.
The school called to say that Niki had missed the last one part today.
She insists that she was there. I told her to check. I took a hot shower
and I keep reading for my DMV test which is set for Thursday 8:30.1 just
hope and pray I pass. Niki is at Sarah's. Don is still watching the game.
I will now read.
December 13
When I woke up this morning Don was not in bed with me but Niki was! He
had had trouble sleeping so had moved to the TV room lounge and she did
not feel well and her room was very cold and she had left the comforter
in the apartment so she came in our room. She obviously did not feel well
so she stayed home from school and slept till
213
11:30. I walked to Hospice carrying my umbrella but I did not need it
because it didn't rain. Worked hard and the time went quickly. Got home
and had lunch and then went to S&S to get dried cranberries for the
muffins I wanted to try. They were very involved grating carrots, apple,
etc. and they were good but my oven is not working too well and they over
cooked. Don got the computer back and now if Jenny gets back tomorrow she
can connect it. I talked to Linda tonight and they had gone to Reno again
today and got all their shopping done. I looked at Christmas trees this
afternoon and they run about $30.1 would like to stay at $25 so will keep
looking. I don't want a big one. Last year it was way too big. I went to
the south yard and cut back eight rose bushes but I still have about nine
more to do. I also cut back the lavender flower bush so I have started at
least but it is supposed to rain tomorrow so I will probably have to wait
again. I got some free evergreen branches at one Christmas tree place and
I added eucalyptus and red berries and put the deal on the apartment gate
and it looks nice. So I got a few things done. I heated up the stew we
had last night and there was a green salad left over and I gave that to
Don. I was not very hungry so didn't miss having one. With Jenny back
tomorrow night I will have to come up with something a bit better for
tomorrow night. I go to Dr. Heath at 10:30 tomorrow. I suppose he will
have to exam my breasts but Dr. Bostwick just did that last week but
knowing Dr. Heath will feel he has to do it too. I hate all that. I don't
like to have my body on display but I guess I can't avoid it. Then
Thursday morning is the license test and then I will feel free. That is
if I pass the test. I am going to study now.
December 14 - heavy rainfall - not so cold
We got up at 5 as usual. Asked Niki is she wanted to go to the Club but
she said no but did get up at 6:45 and went to school. After she left I
showered and shampooed and set my hair. Then I ran a load of clothes and
made macaroni and cheese and did the salad greens. Got dressed and
started out for Dr. Heath. It was raining really hard and then the
windshield wiper on the driver side went crazy making a terrible noise
also. I kept on going but it was very hard to see. I got there at 10:30
and went through the usual routine. It wasn't as bad as I had though it
would be. He didn't do a biopsy thank goodness. Then I had to drive home
with the wiper going crazy or not working at all but I made it! We had
lunch and Don drove me to the library and he went on to get the deal
fixed. I typed on the typewriter with the bad "E" and this time I skipped
it and filled it in with ink. Don picked me up at 2 and we got home just
as Jenny arrived from Tahoe. It was a terrible trip with snow and rain
all the way. Niki got a failure notice with an F in psychology. She
finally came home at 4 in a foul mood but did go to the therapy
appointment. But did not eat dinner with us and left right after to go to
Sarah's. Jenny talked to us and wants us to come up with what we expect
from Niki and then we will all sit down to talk. We shall see. Another
commuter plane crash this time in Fresno. That is the third one in two
weeks. Talked to Priss on the phone and she and David will be coming for
drinks on Monday night. Well tomorrow at 8:30 I take the written test for
my drivers license. If I pass that then I can start thinking about
Christmas. Talked to Priss briefly. Sometimes we
214
just have too much to say. Don is watching a movie and Jenny is trying to
put all the parts back into the computer. Niki is at Sarah's. Well there
was one more [ ? ] and Niki walked to Nicole's for the night. Don asked
if I wanted a drink and I decided I needed one badly so we had some and
then went to bed and made love and it was good so at least the day ended
well.
December 15
We got up at 5 and talked a bit in bed till Daisy got restless and then
we got up. Did my exercises and then it was time to get dressed and I
planned to walk to the DMV. I was just past the Nisson place then I
realized had forgotten the paper I was to bring with me so I went into
the " " Office and used the phone and he came with it and then drove me
there. I took the test and missed five and you can only miss three so she
said I could take another one right away and I did and this time I passed
but I still missed three. But it is over. I walked home still a bit
shaky. I don't know why I was upset but I was. I made a potato salad.
Fixed baked beans to put in the oven and then had lunch. I had Don drive
me to the Discovery Shop at 10 to 1. I was busy all afternoon so the time
went fast. But I really didn't find anything much I was interested in. I
brought a few things home but they didn't fit or look right so I will
return them. Don picked me up at 4. When I got home I put the beans in
the oven. Jenny had bought some presents for Niki and she had heard that
she had [ ? ] a school so now she has to decide which [ ? ] she is going
to take. Niki did not eat dinner with us but was at Sarah's. Still she
seemed to be in a good mood and this evening her Mom took her to Nicole's
again to study and she will pick her up at 10. There was no anger today.
I was very tired when I got home but after dinner I rallied and made a
graham cracker pie and Niki says she wants a pizza and a green salad and
with the pie that will be her birthday dinner. She will be 16. I called
Priss and asked her to Christmas dinner but she said no. I don't know
whether to insist or not. Don's war wounds are bothering him so he went
to bed early after taking a pill. We didn't call Mike today. At least now
I don't have to go to any more Doctors for awhile and I have a license
for another four years and now I had better get on the stick and get a
Christmas tree and get more presents for people. Then there will be candy
to make and cookies, etc.
December 16
We slept in a bit this morning. I was awake for a long time in the night
so maybe that was the reason. Niki didn't go to the Club. When she got up
the cards were there and the presents from her Mom. She seemed pleased
and went off to school in a good mood. I walked to and from the Club and
I wasn't cold so that was nice. When I got home Jenny and I went to look
for a Christmas tree. We went out to the Fairgrounds and found a similar
one for $23 plus tax. It is not great but it will be ok. Then we stopped
at a new place called The Attic and it has all kinds of kitchen stuff.
Sort of a Williams Sonoma. Everything was very expensive and we didn't
buy anything but it was fun looking. Came on home and had lunch. While
Don napped I read and dozed in my chair. It didn't rain at
215
all today but it was mostly cloudy and dark. I would love to have it warm
up a bit so I could [ ? ] cutting back the roses, moving some and doing
other things in the yard. I got out five Christmas cards and envelopes
and put $20 in five (for the grand children) and put $40 in three for the
girls. We had already sent off the $100 to Donna and the grand children
there. Now I have to buy See's candy for Mary and a tin of cookies and
get a paper back for Cathy and I will be done. I hope. I still have the
Christmas candies to make. Priss called in the afternoon so I didn't have
to call her back. Jenny says the Van Rossums invited them for Christmas
dinner and they would be going because that would be good for Niki to be
with Nicole and Zack and then I would invite Priss for dinner. Don is in
bed with a headache. We had pizza tonight and he had a beer with it and
that was a mistake. Niki had Sandy for dinner and then they, along with a
girl called Anna, went off to play pool at Ray's. Niki starts Drivers Ed
tomorrow at 8 - 1. I hope she doesn't stay out too late. I made bread and
there is something wrong with the yeast because the loaves just didn't
rise. At least not as much as they should. Tomorrow is grocery shopping
day. I hope it doesn't rain till I am done.
December 17
I woke up at 3:30. Don got up at 4 and I got up at 4:30. Niki, Sandy and
a new girl called Anna were all trying to sleep in Niki's room but there
was a lot of roaming around. Well anyway we got up and I fixed breakfast
and did the usual thing, exercises, brushing Daisy, and reading the
papers. Got dressed and a little after 7 I was in the car picking up
Mary. It was a dark gray day but it was not cold. At Food Market I bought
$10 worth of mandarins and then some broccoli and some lettuce. At Food
for Less I bought another ham along with the usual things. Same at the
Cannery. Got home and put everything away. Don went to run errands and
Jenny went off for a lunch with Bessie. Niki went to her first session of
Drivers Ed at 8 and Don picked her up at 1. She was very bored and angry.
Well Driver Ed is not the most exciting subject but if she ever wants to
drive she has to have it. When Jenny got home we went to 8th and Main
where the craft people moved after being out at the fairgrounds. They had
some very beautiful things and then some ordinary but everything was
expensive. I saw a ring I liked but it cost way too much. Then we went to
a store downtown where they sell outdoor clothes and I bought a pair of
heavy sox for Craig for $12. Then we came home. Dinner was easy. Leftover
baked beans and potato salad and grilled cheese sandwiches. Niki didn't
eat with us. Then Jenny and I did the Christmas tree. Thank goodness for
Jenny. She did all the lights and I put on the decorations. It is a very
small tree and it looks a lot smaller than when we bought it but it is
ok. My hands hurt so much it is hard to write this. Both my thumbs have
splits and two fingers. I will bandage them tonight. I worked outside for
about an hour this afternoon. I dug up two rose bushes and moved them to
the fence but two others I could not pull out so Don will have to do it.
Who knows if they will survive the move. If not I will get some new ones.
Niki is off with Sandy and I guess will spend the night. I doubt if we
will make love tonight. We did it just a few nights ago. I must stop
smoking because I find I enjoy it
216
more and more and look forward to going outside and having one. This must
stop!
December 18
I just finished a really good book Blue Rodeo by J Ann Mapsaw. It is 6:50
p.m., Jenny is at Debbie's; Don is watching a ball game and Niki is
coughing in her room. What kind of day has it been? Well not too bad. We
got up at the usual time to a misty, moisty morning although it never did
rain. I think it did a bit in the night. Went to church and I realized as
I sat there that I felt nothing. Maybe if something terrible happened
like my losing Don I would turn back to the church but I rather doubt it.
I feel bad that I am just going through the motions. We came home and
went to S&S, Holiday and Safeway to buy various things. I paid $6.00 for
three pounds of boneless, skinless, chicken thighs. I made a great
dinner: the chicken, squash, fresh green beans and a waldorf salad. Don
had taken Niki downtown earlier so she could buy some beads to make
necklaces for presents. She told Don she didn't want to eat dinner. Then
Jenny called from Debbie's saying that she would be late and to go ahead
and then still later she called to say she was going to eat there so I
put everything away. I know I shouldn't mind but it was such a good
dinner and it would be so nice to know ahead of time whether or not
people were going to be here. In the afternoon Jenny and I walked the
Mall walk and I bought a pound of See's candy to give to Mary. It is gone
up and is now $9.60 per pound. I did quite a bit of cooking today. I made
salad dressing because we were just about out. I made the spinach dip, I
got oatmeal ready to cook in the morning. I tried very hard not to smoke
any today but ended up smoking two. Maybe tomorrow I can cut it down to
one. I should be in the study writing to my sister. I haven't heard from
her for a long time but I know writing is hard for her but tonight I am
not in the mood. I must start making candy too and tomorrow night Priss
and David are coming for drinks and I should call and set the time. Well
tomorrow morning back to the Sport Club and then I will have to clean the
living room etc. so things will look nice.
December 19
In 12 more days it will be 1995. So the year is almost over. We got up at
5. I had slept well. Made oatmeal for Don and I got dressed in warm
clothes of many layers and walked to the Club. When I started doing the
aerobics I suddenly broke out in a sweat and it scared me. I kept
thinking can I do this for the whole time. I was very careful and somehow
managed to do it but I was very relieved when Don was there and asked me
if I wanted a ride home. When I got here I was ok. I dusted the living
room and TV room and then got out the vacuum and started cleaning. I
didn't think the machine was working and I opened the bag and for some
reason things were not attached right and the dirt was coming out of the
wrong place. Don took it outside to the garbage can and finally got it
clean. Earlier he had taken it to the south yard and I had cut the last
four roses. We had lunch and then Don took a nap and I arranged berries
and greenery for the living and dining room. Jenny picked up Niki from
her Driver Ed class and they went out to lunch
217
but Niki did not talk to her Mom about her future in a job, moving out,
Woolman school, etc. I showered and put on my black stretchy pants and
the paisley knit top I got at Eddie Bauer last year. Beth - don't know
last name came over to talk to Don about Dani who is living with her and
she praised Niki who helped her clean the house, etc. Niki seems to be a
different person when she is not here. This woman lives in the Roll house
across the street. So then I got everything out for Priss and David who
came at 5. I had a slab of Jarlsburg cheese, salsa, spinach dip, nuts.
David had a bad cold but still it went ok. Afterwards we didn't bother
with dinner. I had a piece of cinnamon toast. I made an appointment to
see Dr. Schwartz for next Tuesday. Jenny's friend Jeannie will be staying
with the Marquis and they will all be coming to dinner on Wednesday after
Christmas. I am going to make a french stew. We heard from the Olsons and
the Fishs today. I had two drinks tonight and I am having trouble staying
awake so will go to bed early.
December 20
It is 9:30 p.m. and I am waiting for the divinity to lose its shine so I
can finish it. This is my third batch of candy. I made penuche and fudge
this afternoon and I should not have waited so late to start this. Too
late now. Another dark damp day but no rain. I woke up in the night and
planned menus and table decorations but finally dozed off again. Did my
exercises, made bran muffins and then got dressed to go to Hospice. I
kept busy alphabetizing and filing, walked back home and had lunch. It
was a bit difficult getting Niki up but then she was gone from 8-1 and
Valerie came over and they went shopping and then she went to Beth's and
was going to spend the night with April, the girl who is taking the class
with her so there were no fights or harsh words thank goodness. I got a
letter from my sister and I had been waiting for one so was very happy to
have it. They had had a good time in Colorado though driving back was a
bit dangerous because of snow and ice. We did two loads of clothes. Jenny
and Cathy went shopping. I fixed leftovers for dinner so that was easy.
Don went to bed early with a headache. Tomorrow I work at the library and
Thursday at the Discovery Shop so it is a busy week. I wrote a letter to
Pauline after dinner so she will get it by Christmas. Talked to Linda
briefly about making sweet mustard sauce. Jenny went to see Joyce the
therapist and it seemed to help. Now she is talking to Barry. He calls
every evening at 9 and they talk about 40 minutes. I shudder to think of
their phone bill. I had better check on the divinity again and then I
will get ready to go to bed.
December 21
I slept well. I think wearing the neck collar really helps when I am very
tired. I woke up in the night but I went back to sleep and I had some
interesting dreams that I have now forgotten. So when 5 came I was ready
to get up. Fog again this morning. I am already tired of it and it has
been just a few days. Niki went off to traffic court for her Driver Ed
class and I walked to my aerobic class. I was dressed warm so it was
rather pleasant. We had a good workout and I felt ok today, not like
yesterday. Don came to do his thing so I
218
rode home with him. Before I could get much done it was lunch time and
then I had to walk to the library. Today frustration just got the better
of me. I was typing library cards and the E doesn't work on the machine
so I have to skip each E and then write it in and the ribbon is faded and
I just said I am not going to do this any more so I told the lady in
charge and said I would shelve books but did not type on the machine any
more. I also told her I would not work next week because that day the
Marquiss and Jeannie are coming to dinner. So then Don came to pick me up
and it was good to be home. I made these little rice cookies that you tap
in powdered sugar and then I made a huge green salad and we had spaghetti
and french bread for dinner. The pants Niki had ordered were not
available so Jenny went downtown and found a very pretty beret in wine so
we are going to give her that for her birthday. After dinner we watched
the news and then I went in to take a shoer and Don called to say that
Jason was here so when I came out there he was. We sat in the living room
and talked and he is just as funny as ever. He is going to stay here
tonight and might not go up to Tahoe till Saturday. I was going to iron
tonight but instead we just talked. Well in the long run that is more
important. Still I have a lot to do tomorrow. I must do the ironing, set
my hair in the morning, decide what we are going to have for dinner, work
at the Discovery Shop in the afternoon. I am getting sleepy. It is only
9:20 but Don is already in bed because the old war wounds are bothering
him. Talked to Priss tonight. Pat Duhlin died this morning and it will be
a memorial service on Saturday morning. I am not going to go.
December 22 - fog
We got up at 5 as usual. Another dark gloomy day but cold too. I had
cooked oatmeal so Don, Jenny and Jason had it for breakfast. After I did
my exercises I pinned up my hair but I hate it right now because it is
too long and I know I could not get an appointment at the Beauty College
before the 25th. I watered the plants and then got dressed and asked Don
if he wanted to come with me to buy some groceries that I will need
before Saturday. We went to Food for Less and to the Cannery. I spent a
little over $30 for groceries and by the time we were done and back home
it was time for lunch. I made a huge tuna salad before going to the
Discovery Shop and then Jason told me he was going to eat at Mary's
because David was here. So he left and he is not back yet. The Discovery
Shop was very dull today. There wasn't anything much that I was
interested in. I did get a lightweight coat for $2.50. It is pink,
reversible with a pink and navy plaid on the other side. We made about
$63 and it was a slow afternoon without much coming out of the back room.
When we got home I made cornbread and cooked broccoli with cheese sauce
and the salad, Jenny had drawn up a list of things about Niki and the
four of us went over them. She is so angry, sullen, etc. it makes it hard
but she went along fairly well. But I get the feeling that she hates us
all. She didn't like the tam Jenny had bought for her yesterday so she
took it back today. We watched the news and I called Priss. Tomorrow I
must make candy again because I fixed a little for Alice but I must do
one for Priss and Niki wants to take one to the Van Rossums and then
there will be all the people here on Saturday night.
219
I will be so glad when Christmas is over. Linda called Jenny and told her
what Carla and Chris got her for Christmas: a brown knit dress, a lime
green jacket, scarf, earrings, etc. etc. She also said that Jason should
leave tomorrow because it is going to snow on Saturday. I made an
appointment with Dr. Foltz for next Wednesday. I am tired and discouraged
tonight. Niki was very critical of me in the conference but then she
seems to hate us all.
December 23
I am writing this on Saturday morning. Friday was a busy day. I had
planned to go to the Club but then I realized there was just too much to
do so I stayed home and cooked and cooked. I made another batch of fudge.
Then I did the penuche, and I have never liked that candy so I was not
surprised when I walked outside and it was still shiny and I came back
and it was almost too hard. So it will not be as nice as the first batch.
Alice came over while we were at the store and brought almond roca,
cookies and pomegranate jelly. Priss came over and brought brass
candlesticks, a little brass bird, and a tea strainer and some special
cookies. I made divinity and it turned out ok. Don and I went to Gates
Resale and I got him a pair of wool sox. Jenny and I went for a walk and
got candles at Walgreen for 9 cents each and then went to the Mall and I
got a book for Cathy and a new Larion Far Side calendar for Don. Jason
decided not to go to Tahoe today and I think that is a mistake because it
will probably storm tomorrow or the next day and he wouldn't be able to
go up. I fixed fancy trays of goodies for Niki to take to Beth and
Sarah's family but she went off to Nicole's and called to say she was
staying the night so they set on the counter. Don and I watched_Tess
with Shirley McClain and it was very good. Didn't start out that way but
it got better. We had drinks and went to bed and made love. Thought we
should take advantage of Niki being gone and Jason out for the evening.
Made cream sauce with eggs and cheese for dinner. All of this is not
necessarily in the right order but that was my day and it was a busy one.
December 24
So today was Christmas Eve and it turned out to go very well. I kept busy
all day. I didn't have to make any more candy but I deviled 18 eggs and
made a new dip of refried beans, green chilies and cheddar cheese. I
baked a ham, Jenny fixed a vegetable dish, there was the spinach dip, and
of course nuts and homemade candy. I washed and set my hair and I wore my
black dress, hose and shoes. Jenny and I went for a walk in mid afternoon
because finally the sun came out. How long it will stay is another thing.
Jason kept trying to make up his mind about going to Tahoe and finally in
mid afternoon he decided to stay till Wednesday when his car will be
fixed. I worry that another storm may come in by that time. I think Linda
was very disappointed and upset but she tried hard to accept. I picked up
Mary at 7:15 and by that time it was raining very hard. I had not worn
anything on my head and didn't have anything on that was really warm so I
was miserable. I got my groceries quickly and we were back home by 9.
Jenny had gone off to have coffee with
220
Ken Pierce and Don had gone to breakfast with Carl so I put all the
groceries away. Well by 5 everything was ready and the Yorks came shortly
afterwards. People seemed to enjoy the food at the rate they ate it and
the York girls all looked very nice. Niki was in a good mood today and
she liked her presents. I got so many nice things: a beautiful silver pin
to wear on a sweater or dress. Don got me a compact disc, tapes and it
has a radio. Niki gave me a spatula, ajar of apricot jam and a thing to
lace up a turkey. Cathy gave me two roses, a beautiful silk scarf. Jenny
gave me a new frying pan that is guaranteed for 20 years. Mike gave me a
top that I don't like but I can exchange it. Linda gave me silk long
pants to wear under other things, and some such things for my complexion.
I got a book by Allende from Jason. Well I can't remember ever getting so
many nice things. So it was a good day. Ok yes, Mary Y. Gave me $75 gift
certificate from Food for Less.
December 25 - Sun!
How nice to wake up to a clear bright day and it wasn't even too cold.
Since church was at 9:30 I managed to clean Don's bathroom before getting
ready to go. I wore black slacks, T-neck and my black and teal sweater.
Don wanted to leave early and he was right because the church was almost
full when we arrived and by 9:30 all seats were taken. When we got home I
decided to make the new recipe I wanted to try. It is a chicken stew and
it turned out very well. Linda called and I had the courage to say I
didn't want the silk long johns and she was nice about it. I looked in
the Eddie Bauer catalogue and I think I will order something else. After
lunch Jenny started making the fruit salad for 18 to take to the Van
Rossum's dinner. She used apples, oranges, kiwi, pineapple, jicama, dates
and bananas. We used Triple Sec in the syrup we made and it looked and
tasted great. She and Niki left at 3:20. Don and I went for a walk and a
nasty north wind had come up so it was pretty nippy. Don isn't sure
whether he should send back his jacket and get a medium. He is thinking
about it. With Priss coming to dinner I set the table with green mats and
candles and my new brass candlesticks. I did the salad greens and I
decided to make rolls and thank goodness they turned out just great.
Priss came at 5. We had drinks and leftover snacks from last night. Then
we had dinner and everyone liked my new chicken stew. Jason ate with us
and he ate a lot! He seemed kind of lost. He said he can't contact any of
his friends so he went out to Cathy's to spend the evening. I am still
smoking cigarettes. I average about three a day but come the first of the
year I must quit again. Well it is 8 p.m. and the kitchen is cleaned up
and so I will read for awhile and then Jenny and Niki will be home and we
will hear about their dinner. Jenny says she thinks she will try to go
home on the 6th instead of the 11th and I don't blame her. I am sure she
misses Barry. I am glad Christmas is over and it wasn't too bad. But I am
tired and it will be better when we are back to just the three of us.
December 26
We didn't get up very early. I did my exercises. Don went to play tennis
and I walked to the Sport Club. I thought it was going to be very cold so
I wore a lot of clothes but it
221
turned out to be pleasant. There were only five of us for the 8:30 class.
I walked back as well. Jenny went off to the Chico Mall to return one of
her presents. When I got back Don had pulled out the two roses I couldn't
dig up and he had planted the roses the Yorks gave us. I decided to quit
smoking so today was the first day and really it wasn't all that hard.
Maybe it will get worse later. Niki had stayed the night at Van Rossum's
and she didn't come home till in the afternoon. She hasn't talked to us
all day. She went to Sarah's when she got home, called to say she
wouldn't be home for dinner and then Loren called and she went over there
for the evening and got a ride home at about 9. I don't know what the
scoop is. Jenny went out to dinner with Genevieve, Sue Stone and Maggie
Hill. We are returning Don's jacket to get a medium and I ordered a pair
of black stirrup pants and a blue top that was the same amount as the
long johns Linda had given me. I just hope all these exchanges will work
out. So for dinner I heated up the stew from last night and made a fruit
salad and Don and I were the only people eating. Jason, Jenny and Cathy
went to see a movie in the afternoon Ready to Wear. They said it was
good. Don with all the digging ended up with a terrible back ache and had
to lie down for the rest of the day. It is supposed to rain tomorrow and
it will probably snow in the mountains so I don't know what Jason will do
about going to Tahoe. Cathy called and asked me to go over the parts of
speech with Rose because she is having difficulty having missed so much
school because of mono. Mike called and we had a good talk, no mail today
but hopefully tomorrow the Christmas card will come with Mike, Karen &
Emma on it. Priss had gotten hers and said it was good. I go to see Dr.
Schwartz tomorrow afternoon. I hope he can do something about my eczema.
December 27
Up at a little after 5. Second day with no cigarettes and not too bad.
Did my exercises and Don went off to play tennis and I messed up the
bread and set it to rise and walked to Safeway and got cottage cheese.
Mainly I just wanted to walk, came home and put the bread in the pans.
Thank goodness it turned out ok, not great but better than the last
batch. I still think there is something wrong with the yeast in the bulk.
We had lunch, Jenny went off with Debbie. Jason and Niki slept on and on.
Finally Jason woke up but Niki didn't till 1:30. I had showered this
morning so after lunch I changed my clothes since I was going to see Dr.
Schwartz at 2:30. Then I made a potato salad, cooked the green beans and
sliced the ham. At 2:30 I got to the Doctor's office and at 3:25 I saw
him just long enough for him to give me an Rx - about three minutes. I
just hope the medicine works. Shortly after I got home Rosalie came and
we went over the grammar she was messed up about. She is a sweet young
lady. We asked her to stay to eat with us and since we had ham she
agreed. Niki did not eat with us. In fact I am not clear just what or
where she does eat. She is back to a not talking stage. Well if all goes
as planned Jason will leave for Tahoe at about 11 tomorrow. He is going
to take a high school friend up with him and that will make the trip more
pleasant. He is going to a party at Mike Tyson's on New Years Eve and
that should be fun. Then on Thursday Jenny and Niki are going to
222
Oakland to visit Genevieve. They will be coming back on Saturday and that
night (New Years Eve) they are both invited to a party at Debbie's. On
Sunday Jenny is going back to Tahoe and will stay till Wednesday then on
Thursday she drives to Oakland and on Friday she leaves for Melbourne.
Jeannie is going back on the same flight so that should be fun for both
of them Niki starts back to school on the 3rd (Tuesday). And what do we
do? We stay right here at home with nothing exciting happening to us. And
so it goes. Just a little while ago it started to rain. I just hope this
will not spoil people's plans to go here and there. Tomorrow the Marquis
and Jeannie are coming for dinner so I will have a busy day tomorrow
getting ready.
December 28
This was one busy day. We got up at 6:30 and I did my exercises and
cooked the last of the bran muffins for Jason, Jenny and me. Then I got
ready to go to the Sports Club where I had a good workout. Walked there
and back. Don and I then went to S&S where I got oranges, candied ginger,
onions and apples. Came home and cut up the two pieces of London Broil
into the stew and got it started the stew that is. Then went to Dr. Foltz
who thinks I have a shoulder problem with torn muscles, etc. and gave me
a new Rx that I haven't gotten filled yet but I think I will still go see
Dr. Richard for acupture. In the afternoon I made the new mashed
potatoes, the salad greens and the dressing, and I made the new oatmeal
bread that Jenny loves. Jason got off at about 10:30 but he had to do
some things in town like buy small chains, etc. I really kept busy all
afternoon. I put a leaf in the table and used black place mats,
candlesticks and vase, white candles and napkins and black base with
greens and I found three camellias that were not ruined by the rain so it
made a nice bouquet. So the menu: French stew, huge green salad, the
mashed potatoes, the oatmeal bread and hot rolls and plum pudding with
hard sauce. Everyone seemed to enjoy the dinner. There was lots of wine
and I had a drink before dinner and my glasses of wine yet felt nothing
at all in the way of a buzz on. I smoked one cigarette this afternoon
after working all day in the kitchen but other than that I have been ok.
Don and I agreed that we would continue to have a few until January 1st
when he is going to try to quit. We shall see. Tomorrow Jenny and Niki
will go to Oakland and they will be back on New Years Eve. So tomorrow
with Jason gone we will have the house to ourselves and I look forward to
that because I don't have to go any place all day. I have had a really
busy day but I felt that everything was a success and that is almost a
good feeling.
December 29
This was a dull quiet day but ok. We woke to a clear cold morning. I went
out to put something in the garbage can before the man came to empty and
when I looked up at the black sky I almost gasped. There was a quarter
moon and a very bright star above it and one below it. Gorgeous. Anyway
Jenny was up before 6 and I woke Niki at 7 and they were gone by 8. They
were going to have lunch with Joseph, shop and then go to Genevieve's in
Oakland. Don went off to play tennis. I did some neating up. Did the
front
223
hall closet and made the beds in the music room with clean sheets. Then I
took my taupe skirt and my Rx and walked to Walgreen and then to the
Mall. I would have liked to find a sweater that matched but had no luck.
Got my new pain pills and when I got home I took one with my lunch and
had the second one at dinner. We will see how these go. In the afternoon
I read and then Don and I went for a walk to mail some letters. It was
clear but chilly with a nasty little north wind. Dinner was simple. I
reheated the stew from last night and I heated some rolls and the plum
pudding and I made a great fruit salad. I smoked one cigarette today and
should have done without completely. Don says he is going to quit on the
1st of January. If there is no one around it will be easier to go
without. I was a secretary today. I called the DMV and made an
appointment for Niki to get her learner's permit next Wednesday at 3:30
and I called Bessie and got the phone number for Jenny for the motel she
plans to stay at the night before she flies back to Australia. I
explained to Sandy and Valerie about Niki's absence. Don said Dani had
also called and he had told her about Niki's being gone. I talked to
Priss after the news but we were both so dull that we didn't talk long. I
should get my hair cut because I hate the way it looks but I don't seem
to do anything about it. I know I should buy something with the money
Mike sent Jenny to buy something for me. Again I don't do it. At least
the Rx for my eczema is really working so I don't itch. Now we will see
if the one I got today will make my right shoulder feel better but mainly
I want to lose the three pounds I gained over Christmas. Linda called and
we had a good visit. She wanted to talk to Jenny and had forgotten she
was going to the city.
December 30
Well one more day and the year will be over. We got up at 5:30 to a cold
clear morning. I decided not to go to the Sports Club. Don had gone to
play tennis and I just didn't feel like walking in the cold. I have come
to hate winder with a passion. So instead I dusted the whole house and
the apartment. I put things away and neated everything up but I didn't
water the plants. I must do that tomorrow. I have now put everything away
that concerned Christmas. So at about 9:15 I set out to walk. I went to
K-Mart and Lucky and ended up at Longs to get some vitamin B-50. Then I
went to the Mall but I really didn't have anything in part to think about
so finally I just came back home. I have spent $30 on Rxs the last few
days and that seems like a lot of money without any great results. Though
the Rx for my eczema is finally working but the pain doesn't seem much
better that I am taking pills for my shoulder. I think once the spring
comes everything will seem better. When I got home it was lunch time so I
fixed Don's and my lunch and then I dozed in my chair while Don dozed in
the bedroom. Then I suggested we go for a walk in the park and we did
that and it was lovely. The park is so beautiful and everything with all
the leaves gone the stark tree trunks, the beds, the creek high with
water. It all pleased me. Came home and I got out the clippers and neated
up the pyracouita that is by the fence at [ ? ] of our lot and I cut back
the dusty miller. There is so much to be done outside and if the rains
hold off maybe I can get things done. Called Mary and she is not
224
going tomorrow so I fixed up a care package that I will take her. Don is
going to have breakfast with Dale Steiner while I go grocery shopping.
Our dinner was grilled cheese and ham sandwiches, three-bean salad, chips
and Don had vanilla pudding that I made right before so it was still
warm. Then the news and I read. Later we had a drink and we went outside
to have a cigarette and then we went to bed and made love. It was very
nice but then we have been [ ? ] later and things have gone well and I
just hope we can continue to be successful.
December 31
Well here we are the last day. Don was having breakfast with Dale and he
said it is for 7. I pointed out that I didn't usually go to the Food
Market till 7:30 and he wanted to call and change the time but I thought
that was silly so we drove to Lyons and I drove away with half an hour to
kill. I drove to the Safeway on Maugrave and got out and walked around
and then went in to the store and looked around. By then it was about
7:30 so I drove to the Market but I didn't find anything I wanted so I
then realized I had left my list at home so drove back and then went on
to Food for Less. I bought my groceries and decided to get a big bag of
dog food (35 pounds) and the bill came to $51 so I gave my $50 gift
certificate from Mary. I bought her some ham, pears, some mandarins,
fudge, spinach dip, crackers, some stew, etc. and magazines and a loaf of
bread. I took them over before going home. Put the groceries away had
lunch and then walked to the Beauty College and made an appointment to
get a perm on Thursday our wedding anniversary. Jenny called to say that
Niki had been sick, had a temp, and was coughing. They would be home
later. I made a chocolate bundt cake and I read but none of the books
pleased me. I fixed scrambled eggs, a peas and cottage cheese salad and
stewed tomatoes. The kids arrived and Niki wanted to go out for the
evening and Jenny thought she should stay home but Niki won. Jenny went
off to Debbie's she had bought two pairs of shoes in the city. Niki went
to Sandy's but when we came back here and they were going to spend the
night at Sarah's. Linda called two or three times. Now Jason wants to
become a lawyer and do something about the environment. He wants to take
off for a year and then go to law school. I decided not to buy new
clothes with the money Mike sent but instead buy something in the spring.
I called Priss who was not in the best of moods but that is not unusual.
Don suggested we have a liqueur and so we went outside and drank it and
had a cigarette and he went to bed at 9:30 and I will read for awhile and
then go too. I will have to come up with a dinner tomorrow. Jenny will be
going to Tahoe in the morning but will be back on Wednesday and then on
Thursday she will leave for San Francisco and we will be back with Niki
alone. So another year is over. It wasn't all that great but it wasn't so
bad. We did a lot in the yard and now I just want it to be Spring!

Diary of Florence Belson Lillibridge, 1994 January 1 Well, here is

Transcription

Similar documents

- Haas Brothers

brochure

Mahoneys Irish Pub

SNU Rally at the Fallon Cantaloupe Festival September 2012

The Power of Possible

YANNI • THE DREAM CONCERT

Dinner Dance Dinner Dance - Franciscan Sisters of Chicago

2016 Fall Calendar

Party Menu

Rockets Race Cars Gambling Helis Running Lava