Fall 2011 Newsletter

Employee Spotlight:
Bill Woodbury
Bill Woodbury,
LAADC, has been
the Program
Director at New
Found Life for over
six years. He is a
valued and loyal
employee. Bill's
wisdom and
knowledge have
served to help New
Found life grow into the treatment center it is
today. His experience in the business and his
quiet, capable manner add a wonderful
dimension to our staff.
His amazing sense of humor has been a
blessing when things get too serious. He is a
great example of Alcoholics Anonymous and
walks the way he talks. He has been an avid
supporter of the Family Program here and is
one of our best speakers. We are indeed
fortunate to have a man with Bill's talents as
a member of our amazing team.
I came to New Found Life about 15 years ago. I was a full blown freebase
addict and alcoholic. I hit my bottom using every cent and losing my job. I was
humiliated and degraded. I had to drop out of nursing school, and my mother
was caring for my 7 year old son. I was too busy partying and feeling
hungover to be a mother. I did anything and everything including selling
Staff Updates!
We welcome to the NFL team Karen
Brockman, Brooke Watkins, Rick
Weisz & Erin Wood
Zero Tolerance for
Untreated Addiction
terms. I believe I spent 90 days there and have always been grateful for the
opportunity. I met my future husband at an NA dance and most of the
women including Mary Ann and Ed went to my wedding! I slipped after 5
years, but picked myself up and got right back in AA. Oh I finished nursing
school and beside my RN degree I recently obtained a Masters degree in Health
Care. I also live in Hawaii in a dream home in the rainforest. Life is not always
perfect, but I take it a day - sometimes a minute at a time. I always think
about where I came from. From the streets in the barrio getting beaten up, to
how far I have come and truly have no regrets. -Patrice J.
A tree planted at Recreation Park in Long
Beach to memory of Matt B. who passed
away in January of this year
Inside this issue:
Zero Tolerance
John Frederick received his Drug and
Alcohol Counseling Certification
from Centuar University
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Greetings from Texas 1
Residential Treatment Services
Kelly Konrady is now a CADC II,
John Perez is now a CADC II, Tracie
Temple is a CADC II and now holds
a Master of Arts in Forensic
Psychology
Continuing Care
life! Kristin VT
lives in order and on the spiritual path. Thank you very much.!!
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start on a beautiful
Jennifer S.
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Extended Care
you NFL for a solid
Theresa C. We both have moved from the Long Beach area but still want to
be connected with the organization which was instrumental in getting our
comprehensive gender specific
programs for men & women
psychiatric care
individual & group counseling
sharp 12-step focus
life skills training
a growth schedule based on all
aspects of recovery
education & study groups
individual attention
family participation
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July 21st. Thank
I’m an alumnus of New Found Life. I am Karl T’s wife and my name is
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Primary Care
I Celebrated 2
September 18, 2011! By the
grace of God! I’ll share a story next
year – when it’s my birthday
month! NFL allowed me to have
to sit still, feel, and own my reality
… and then worked with me to
begin to learn a new way to live
my life one day at a time …. It is
never too late … as long as one is
still breathing … many thanks to
NFL … God Bless You All, xoxo
custom
treatment
plans
specialty
groups including yoga
and music
therapy
Alumni News
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Alumni Birthdays
2
Wash Your Mouth
Out
3
Holiday Party
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Employee Spotlight
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Staff Updates
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NFL Services
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2211 East Ocean Blvd.
Long Beach, CA 90803
800-635-9899
newfoundlife.com
[email protected]
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Winter 2011
Greetings from Texas!
Deborah Jay
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years of sobriety on
I celebrated 7 years of sobriety on
Please pray for the
families of our
friends Alumni
Christie L., Cory B.
and Joel V. who passed away.
Send your alumni
news and pictures to
[email protected]
Recovery...It’s a Beautiful Thing!
myself for the next hit. I moved into the house on Ocean after spending 30
days in a rehabilitation hospital. I thought the home was beautiful and Ed,
Mary Ann and the women that lived there were very supportive. I learned to
be disciplined, go to meetings, and most important how to live life on life's
Once we decide that untreated
addiction is as unacceptable as
drunk driving, we will begin
addressing addiction differently.
Imagine a time when it will be
unthinkable not to intervene
when someone we love becomes
alcoholic or addicted to other
drugs. Ignoring a friend or
relative’s problem will feel as
wrong as handing the car keys to
someone who is inebriated.
Families will be able to depend
upon most everyone to help
them, because almost no one will find it tolerable to support
ongoing addiction. Those who become addicted will get
help years or even decades sooner, and families will escape
endless days of anguish and distress. Small children will
know they can depend upon non-addicted family members
to protect them from the pain of growing up in alcoholic
homes.
It’s not only the addict who needs help. Addiction changes
the family, friends and peers, too. The longer someone is
subjected to another person’s alcoholism, the further they
diverge from the world of the well‐adjusted. Addiction
begins to chip away at their integrity. The people closest to
the addict begin behaving in ways counter to their deeply
held convictions. They give money to addicts, telling
themselves it’s going to the rent when it’s paying for
cocaine; they watch as someone gets behind the wheel
drunk, but consider it excessive to call the police; they allow
children to fend for themselves in alcoholic homes by
professing that youngsters don’t notice the problem. They
say: I won’t put up with this for another minute. But they
do.
Addiction creates unmanageability and families respond by
trying to bring things back into balance. The trouble is that
the disease of addiction always knocks everyone off center
again. As a result, two things begin to happen: 1.) Families
try harder to create balance, and 2.) Families grow more
accustomed to being off balance. Trapped in this alcoholic
system, everyone scrambles to find safety. Each calamity is
met with a corresponding survival skill. The alcoholic family
must twist and bend their behaviors, emotions, thoughts,
and spirits in an attempt to compensate for the negative
consequences caused by addiction.
Over time, family survival skills harden into character defects
and spill into every area of life, negatively affecting
relationships with others. Without the benefits of family
recovery, these defects are commonly passed from
generation to generation. Intervention provides a roadmap
back to family integrity. It is a return to our deepest
commitments and convictions. The intervention process
changes family thinking patterns. It moves families and
friends toward a sense of purpose, productive behavior,
accurate thinking, and clear goals. Intervention is not just
for the recovery of addicts; it’s a way of thinking that helps
everyone who participates. Intervention puts the entire
family back on course.
(ZERO, continued on page 3)
Hello to all at NFL. Best wishes to both employees
and residents from Texas. For those that count days
of sobriety, I am about 2,295 days since I left NFL on
I believe March 13th, 2005. My life, of course, has
greatly improved since my check in, on an early December day in 2004. Now at age 58, I am continually rewarded by the benefits of the education I received while earning that black t-shirt (thanks Kelly).
That’s 90 days at NFL - that tradition is unknown by
some. Here are some of the actions that have kept
me sober all this time: “Stay in AA! Do not lax on
this. Think before you speak or act. If possible be a
sponsor at all times. Be honest, guilt is deadly.”
To the current residents my advice is mostly to have
patience. Time can be your best friend. You may not
believe that life can ever be good between you, your
family, your friends, and your employer. I did not
believe, I was dead inside, scared of everything and
my future and my past. Again, time was all I
needed. My life is way better than good. It is actually great.
Please add me to your next alumni birthday bulletin.
My sobriety date is December 10, 2004.
2 years ago my mother passed away. I felt, as she
did, a great comfort in the fact that I had been sober
for years at that point. She loved me and trusted me
at the end. Something I would not have had without the guidance and skills of all the hardworking
people at NFL. Thanks a million!!
My 21 year old son, who said in 2004 that he never
wanted to see ne again, he also says he is surprised at
his new dad. He too loves and trusts me now.
My wife, who left me, justifiably, has asked me to
return and live with her now. These are not miracles. These are the results of my decision not to chase
them, but to create a new me. Time and sobriety
allowed them to watch from a far and see the person
they used to love had again become a good man.
I am forever grateful to Ed, Jim K, Kelly, Gary,
Brooke, Joe, Bill , Tracey, Farmer and all of NFL past
present and future!
…from Dallas Texas, Danny M.
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Wash Your Mouth Out
Family Weekend’s Equine Therapy
by Rev. Leo Booth
I've been involved in a conversation at my recovery meetings
concerning foul or dirty language; language that, until recently,
nobody would use in the presence of their parents or any children. It
seems to me that language at meetings is deteriorating, especially the
use of the "F"word,"MF"or"SofaB". It has become an equal
opportunity practice, many females enthusiastically participating.
Jeremy and Lauren’s daughter Grace
I hope to graduate
in the next couple
Music Therapy
years but I celebrated 2 years on
November, 1st,
2011-god willing.
Music Therapy at NFL
NFL and AA work!!
-Chad B.
I love the newsletter and keeping in touch. I lived at
NFL from Feb 95-96. I moved back to Connecticut
in 1997 and have been sober ever since. I have a
Tiffany Y’,s son born July, 2011
huge debt of gratitude to Mary Ann and Ed Spatola
and the NFL alumni. In love and service, Dawn J.
Congratulations to:
Alumni Adam J. whose daughter Sophia Emma was born in July
Jeremy and Lauren Frank who welcomed baby Grace in June
(congrats to Ed and Mary Ann Spatola too for the birth
of their 8th grandchild)
Ed & Mary Ann Spatola who are welcoming their 9th grandchild
this spring
Alumni Steve M. who was married in October!
Alumni Merri L. who received her Bachelor of Science
in Microbiology
Bill Woodbury’s daughter, Rori, who graduated
from LBCC in May
Alumni, Wha D. who battled and is recovering from cancer!!
If your name and sobriety date were not included on this page and
should have been, please contact us. We apologize for the error.
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Chelsea Hiers (NFL employee
Brooke’s daughter)
Alumni Birthdays!
April
Jenny R. 4 yrs
Bob T. 11 yrs
Tracy S. 5 yrs
Tiffany Y. 2 yrs
Michelle B.1 yr
Jeanine S.5 yrs
Wendy W. 6 yrs
Mike N. 7 yrs
Kristen Mc. 13 yrs
Joel S. 5 yrs
May
Renee M. 1 yr
Neza C. 10 yrs
Andrew R. 5 yrs
Robert T. 17 yrs
Lindsay S. 8 yrs
Heather T. 4 yrs
Ken M. 2 yrs
Tiffany W. 3 yrs
Meghan W. 3 yrs
Asia C. 5 yrs
Barbara L. 14 yrs
Rhonda F. 9 yrs
Bruce B. 3 yrs
June
Daniel U. 6 yrs
Jane O. 11 yrs
Aaron B. 1 yr
Cristin I. 8 yrs
Scott R. 5 yrs
Leamon S. 14 yrs
Michael B. 11 yrs
Lucious H. 11 yrs
Scott L. 1 yr
Bill B. 14 yrs
Marilyn C. 1 yr
Dominique M. 5 yrs
July
Kim Z. 4 yrs
Brooke W. 1 yr
Lisa W. 9 yrs
Chad Mc. 10 yrs
Darlene Z. 5 yrs
Ryan M. 3 yrs
Michael F. 15 yrs
Ali C. 7 yrs
Stephanie D. 8 yrs
Hans T. 16 yrs
Elle C. 1 yr
Karen V. 5 yrs
Patrice Q. 4 yrs
Kristin V. 2 yrs
Jeff L. 10 yrs
Tobin W. 2 yrs
Rani F. 10 yrs
Mia P. 5 yrs
Rob E. 7 yrs
August
Andy L. 7 yrs
Tony M. 7 yrs
Kalene M. 1 yr
Sara S. 4 yrs
Paula L. 1 yr
Joel L. 11 yrs
Bruce P. 6 yrs
Eddie D. 14 yrs
Sam K. 3 yrs
Doug E. 2 yrs
September
Dianne L.3 yrs
Matt L. 6 yrs
Tristan T. 5 yrs
Scott G. 2 yrs
Ed C. 17 yrs
Patti S. 1 yr
Jenny R. 1 yr
Jennifer S. 7 yrs
Tom S. 2 yrs
Ann M. 5 yrs
Ryan S. 7 yrs
Travis C. 2 yrs
November
Amanda R. 2 yrs
Warren W. 11 yrs
Bernadette P. 7 yrs
Some people, at my meetings, say that this is not a serious issue and
that people come to meetings for alcohol or substance abuse issues,
not issues of swearing. Now anybody who knows me knows I'm not
a prude. (If we ever meet get me to tell you the peacock joke).
However, surely you would agree that there is swearing and
swearing; using the word "bloody" doesn't seem to rank with words
like "MF" or "S of a B" . An occasional expletive can be very effective
but it is effective because it is occasional. When foul language
becomes almost every other word...Houston we have a problem.
My mother was very strict concerning swearing; it was not
acceptable language. I've heard her say to visitors at our home, go
wash out your dirty mouth with soap. Also, we say in Twelve Step
that our foundation is spiritual, we are seeking to be better people,
more respectful and caring; does such aspirations square with
indiscriminate use of expletives? My sense is that many of us laugh or
cheer the person on because we are embarrassed. The swearer's utter
lack of discretion becomes embarrassing in the extreme; shame is
hiding behind merriment!
Why do people swear? Well, some say it is because they are not
educated. They are unable to speak in sentences. They tumble into
profanity. I don't agree. Many of the people who use foul or dirty
language at meetings are educated; indeed some are writers or
teachers. Of course, some are not educated, but they are surely smart
enough to know if the profane language they are using could ever be
acceptable to a group that is based around a spiritual awakening.
They may not be educated but they are not stupid. Some say people
today are not aware that they are swearing. Oh really. I'm not
talking about bloody or hell no. Oh no, I'm referring to "M-Fer", "S
of a B", "F you" and worse. I know that some people in the meetings
have suffered brain damage but I refuse to believe that they don't
know what they are sharing.
And, yes, some suggest that society is not what it was thirty years
ago. And I agree. Again, I need to remind everyone that I am not a
prude and I've skated the line often...but rarely have I publicly
embraced profanity. And when I did it was always followed by an
immediate apology. Today I have a sense of what a spiritual
program sounds like.
Our society is constantly changing and the use of swear words has
definitely escalated in the public arena. But we have not reached the
point where profanity, foul language is acceptable in society at large
or in recovery meetings.
Some protest, but it's a men's stag meeting? Okay it's a stag meeting
but using language that a man would never use in the presence of his
daughter or grandmother is not a sign of mature masculinity. And
although people laugh, is it really funny? Humor in recovery groups
needs to be respectful.
In my personal recovery I've followed a plan that has worked for
many years, I do the opposite of what I did as a drunk. Stealing is
replaced by giving; gossip by face-to- face conversations; anger is
morphed into gentleness; arrogance becomes kindness... profanity is
transformed into respect for people and language.
On Saturday, November 26th we celebrated our
annual holiday gathering. This year’s event took
place at the Westin hotel in downtown Long Beach.
Guests were treated to food, Christmas carolers and a
visit from Santa! More than 200 alumni, friends and
family celebrated the holiday season and sobriety at
the party! Many were able to share at the meeting
that followed the festivities.
(ZERO, continued from page 1)
Once an intervention is complete, family and friends benefit from
their own recovery program in Al‐Anon. The 12-steps for families
helps transform character defects–isolation, fear, perfectionism, anger, resentment, controlling behavior– into positive ways of living
with others. After all, it’s the spirit of each member of the family
that determines the quality of family life. Going to Al‐Anon is a
small step that leads to unexpected and powerful changes.
When families say, “We wish he would just stop drinking,” what
they are really hoping for is to reclaim a healthy, loving relationship
with the alcoholic. However, if abstinence comes without recovery–
for both the alcoholic and the family–relationship problems don’t
disappear. They frequently get worse. When families understand
that Al‐Anon helps them develop interpersonal skills that promote
loving, healthy relationships, they find working their own 12-step
programs relevant.
Family is our springboard into life. If our family life is robust and
healthy, we have a head start on the world. But when addiction
distorts and twists our households, we are at a disadvantage. We
cannot sacrifice the sanctity of our lives to the rapacious nature of
addiction. We are given only one life to live, and it is precious. Each
of us, including the addicted person, has a responsibility to stop addiction from stealing away with the best of our lives.
Debra Jay is co-author of “Love First,” and author of “No More
Letting Go: The Spirituality of Taking Action Against Alcoholism and
Drug Addiction.” To contact Ms. Jay, go to www.lovefirst.net.
We occasionally see a statement in our meetings that reads: Profanity
is not a sign of spiritual growth. And I agree.
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