Class of 2015 - Cor Jesu Academy

Corette Senior Edition
Class of 2015
Senior Superlatives
Always Cheerful
Kate Dolan
Always out of Uniform:
Claire Loretta
Always Sleeping
Nora Thieman
Always Tardy
natalie butler
Always Wearing Sunglasses
Rebeca Serrano
Most Likely to be Famous
Grace Brummel
Most Likely to Appear on Broadway
Julia Pottinger
Most Likely to Be President
Sawyer Judge
Most Likely to Teach at CJ
Ali Meehan
Most Ambitious
Sawyer Judge
Most Artistic
Stephanie Keeline
Most Athletic
Katherine Tarlas
Most Changed since Freshman Year
Allie Long
Maria Lanari
Most Dependable
Margaret Bernard
Most Detentions
Claire Loretta
Most Dramatic
Julia Pottinger
Most Friendly
Mary Julia Kramer
Janie Chester
As voted by the senior class.
Most Hair Colors
Rachel Clemens
Most Involved
Allison Stumpf
Most Laid Back
Jane Mackowiak
Most Obsessed with Facebook
Abbey Perano
Most Organized
Claire Loretta
Most Sarcastic
Meghan McGowan
Most Spirit
Kate Dolan
Most Talkative/Outgoing
Darcy Neier
Most Unorganized
Kathryn Wagner
Best Attitude
Nikki Billmeyer
Best Car
Courtney Hymes
Best Dancer
Kristen Price
Best Dressed
Courtney Hymes
Best Driver
Natalie Auer
Ellie Rupp
Best Hair
Diana Boone
Best Laugh
Erin Sullivan
Best Leader
Sawyer Judge
Best Musician
Tess Martin
Geneiveve Jones
Best Role Model
Haley Williams
Best Sense of Humor
Tess Martin
Best Smile
Allison Stumpf
Best Tan
Katie Lavigne
Biggest Bookworm
Meghan McGowan
Biggest Klutz
Kathryn Buscher
Biggest Movie Buff
Nora Thiemann
Biggest Music Buff
Natalie Auer
Biggest Procrastinator
Mallory Powers
Biggest TV Buff
Elise Hughes
Palest
Ali Meehan
Quirkiest
Maureen Holley
Suzy CJ
Allison Stumpf
Worst Car
Tess Martin
Worst Driver
Emily Schepp
Mallory Powers
Worst Senioritis
Mallory Powers
Most Likely To...
Claire Anvender: Most likely to marry a southern boy and
decorate her house like southern living magazine while raising 3-5
children.
Natalie Auer: Most likely to become famous for her band You
Had Me At Posters but leave to marry Kevin Ray from Walk the
Moon and become a Walk the Moon groupie for life.
Andrea Baumann: Most likely to sue Cor Jesu for the rights of
the “sacred heart song” only so that she can destroy every known
record of its existence.
Sarah Baxter: Most likely to have a son that marries Rebecca
Oliver’s daughter.
Margaret Bernard: Most likely to be a camp counselor for the
rest of her life and only be able to speak in riddles and campfire
songs.
Tori Bertucci: Most likely to become the next Sue Nolkemper.
Nicole Billmeyer: Most likely to still hang out with friends from
grade school until she dies.
Emilee Bluth: Most likely to own a doughnut shop.
Diana Boone: Most likely to become a super model.
Kaky Bott: Most likely to bust out laughing at a joke from a few
weeks ago.
Claire Boyce: Most likely to make famous and patent the pencil
sharpener dance.
Hannah Boyer: Most likely to have a themed “Frozen” wedding.
Annie Brooking: Most likely to win an Oscar for her Documentary
about the life and times of Meryl Davis.
Grace Brummell: Most likely to make a snail joke that Hannah Kroll
or Tumblr already made during her Grammy acceptance speech.
Maura Buchheit: Most likely to get Sr. Kathryn’s number and text
her during all her college classes.
Katie Burton: Most likely to be seen at the pointe in Lulu-lemon or
with her fun Holy Infant friends from CBC.
Kathryn Buscher: Most likely to win a March madness bracket and
win a million dollars.
Natalie Butler: Most likely to own five dogs and adopt two more
every year.
Cahill Shannan: Most likely to draw herself a new world and live in
it instead of this one.
Andrea Cannito: Most likely to become a Chaminade soccer mom
and chaperone her sons on spring break.
Elizabeth Caputa: Most likely to give out cookies at the large hadron collider.
Sloane Carlson: Most likely to play soccer forever and then continue
Cor Jesu locks of love in place of her mom.
Janie Chester: Most likely to start a nonprofit organization that provides free Starbucks and baked goods for the less fortunate.
Natalie Chrisco: Most likely to be the first women to join the NBA
because she’s just that good.
Megan Chumley: Most likely to never know what’s going on in the
groupchat.
Rachel Clemens: Most likely to run a motorcycle gang and have 37
tattoos by age 20.
Bridget Colombini: Most likely to marry a Cary Grant look-alike
who is also a Mountie and rides horses and will watch Hallmark
movies with her
Kennedy Coplen: Most likely to drive on the wrong side of the road
because she’s from Illinois.
Lexie Davis: Most likely to accidentally become a lemon cake addict
and marry a boy from Minnesota.
Amanda Dennis: Most likely to move to Canada.
Brigitte Desloge: Most likely to marry someone from One Direction.
Katherine Dolan: Most likely to end world hunger not with food and
service but with spirit and pep.
Ellen Dryden: Most likely to be confused about everything.
Abby Eleeson: Most likely to monogram everything she owns, including her children ... with strategically placed tattoos.
Allison Evola: Most likely to be arrested for spray painting Blues
notes and tping everyone’s yard, but then turn herself in and clean up
the mess because she has a guilty conscious, however the police will
still prosecute her and she’ll then catch Ebola in prison
Emily Ferretti: Most likely to be the next Marshall and actually
figure out how to fix our computers.
Leah Gaal: Most likely to become the most rad kid in college then
proceed to be the parent of the most open-minded children possibly
ever.
Amanda Gapsch: Most likely to marry her grade school/high school
sweetheart.
Annie Gardner: Most likely to be the first Hispanic Disney princess
(with an engineering degree).
Jessica Garland: Most likely to never reveal where she’s going to
college.
Katherine Gelfand: Most likely to become the next bachelorette,
marry him, and then get divorced for the reincarnated Derek Shepherd.
Madeline Gerard: Most likely to forget everyone’s names
after graduation.
Katelyn Glaenzer: Most likely to survive purely on propel
water and circle k sized diet cokes.
Stephanie Gottschlich: Most likely to drive the most lifted
truck in the world.
Keara Greunke: Most likely to become a successful architect
and build mansions in South Carolina.
Angela Hancock: Most likely to do a total turnaround of the
short people are angry stereotype and is actually pretty chill
and make you even more suspicious of short people.
Olivia Hannah: Most likely to marry her dog Cody.
Emily Hannon: Most likely to become a traveling groupie,
be adopted by the band and soon become their most important
member and have all rock bands worship her as their queen.
Julie Hantak: Most likely to work at Bread Co for the rest of
her life and continue to be told she is breaking child labor laws
because of her height.
Colleen Harrington: Most likely to attend Wyoming Catholic
College, for the horses.
Grace Hartman: Most likely to confuse everyone with her
sarcasm and face.
Emily Harvatin: Most likely to star in a re-make of One
Tree Hill as Brooke Davis and start that very day because she
already knows all the lines.
Kate Hazelton: Most likely to never drive on a highway and
take road trips using back roads and residential streets.
Amanda Heard: Most likely to run across water.
Taylor Hendrickson: Most likely to become the next JK
Rowling.
Maggie Herrmann: Most likely to marry T.J. Oshie after his
divorce from Lauren Cosgrove and live with him in a beautiful
house off Ladue road but refuse to support him if he ever plays
for anyone but the Blues.
Katherine Hock: Most likely to establish the “Sarcastic States
of America” - with a fully functional sass-congress.
Sarah Hogan: Most likely to be an army wife.
Emma Hogrebe: Most likely to develop a disorder in which
she only speaks in movie quotes (Aw cuss).
Maureen Holley: Most likely to own a hat for every hour of
the day and at night act as a vigilante known as Paz striking
fear into the hearts of her enemies while striving for a world
where Clint Barton finally matters.
Mimi Huether: Most likely to “not study for a test” and pull
out that 107%.
Elise Hughes: Most likely to watch every single TV show ever
made, ever.
Mary Hummel: Most likely to run off with her boss.
Bridget Hunkins: Most likely to be the next Mrs. Birdsell.
Courtney Hymes: Most likely to move to New York with her
cat Charkey and find fame by getting a reality show called
Keeping up with Kourtney.
Katie Inserra: Most likely to have people be confused about
her name for life explaining that Katie and Sarah are not other
people, it’s just Katie Inserra.
Sarah Jaeger: Most likely to spend her time at Mizzou following all potential Cardinals players across the country so she can
date one that lets her keep her job at Swing Around Fun Town.
Jeanne Janson: Most likely to move to Montana and create an
anti-government cult that focuses on alien theories.
Leyla Johnson: Most likely to save the world through Green
Team.
Genevieve Jones: Most likely to become a neuroscientist, violin
virtuoso/screamo band member, and ultimate pro while confusing everyone with her lack of facial expressions and habit of not
finishing her sentences.
Sawyer Judge: Most likely to win the Nobel Prize and be the
President of the United States and travel the world for United
Nations and basically rule the entire world.
Courtney Keady: Most likely to marry her high school sweetheart and have two children named Jillian and Michael.
Stephanie Keeline: Most likely to survive an apocalypse with
only a butter knife and a pet deer.
Gabby Keppner: Most likely to have a baby whose perfect face
can replace the Teletubbies sun.
Shannon Klaus: Most likely to form a jazz band consisting of
only her and pandas respectively named after Pokemon.
Kathryn Kohnen: Most likely to have a perfectly round bum for
the rest of her life.
Mary Kramer: Most likely to become a fairy godmother.
Hannah Kroll: Most likely to star in Sia’s next music video, then
marry a ginger man and create a new race of human beings with
tan skin and red hair called the Tangerines.
Gina LaMantia: Most likely to win So You Think You Can
Dance where she will meet and fall in love with Jason Derulo
before settling down as a Syberg’s spokesmodel.
Maria Lanari: Most likely to become the next “Alex from
Target” and become popular only because of her catch phrase
“Maybe Next Year”.
Katie LaVigne: Most likely to win a ton of volleyball tournaments before settling down to raise a MQP family of jocks.
Marissa Leong: Most likely to have 25 babies, get casted in a
TLC show, and outshine the Duggars.
Allie Long: Most likely to adopt a family of monkeys with her
future husband.
Claire Loretta: Most likely to abolish kilts in Catholic schools.
Arleen Luhmann: Most likely be in the Guinness book of world
records for loving their dog so much.
Jane Mackowiak: Most likely to be discovered as a street artist
in the slums (wearing rope sandals and wool socks) and then
make millions with an ironic rap album.
Mary Magee: Most likely to go West.
Kelley Martin: Most likely to become a dictator.
Tess Martin: Most likely to befriend a famous TV producer and
convince him/her to make a spinoff of The Office starring herself
as Jim and Pam’s kooky babysitter.
Jenn Mayberger: Most likely to marry a European basketball
player and continue stalking Helen Colston.
Meghan McGowan: Most likely to voluntarily go to prison just
for the solitude and quiet and the reading time except when she
orchestrates a prison break to see a new Marvel movie.
Mary Ann McGrory: Most likely to marry an NBA player and
have 7 foot tall children.
Shannon McKeon: Most likely to spend a night in jail because
she’s “curious”.
Ali Meehan: Most likely to live life as an extended metaphor.
Lisa Millar: Most likely to go to med school and become a
doctor, get rich, and marry a pokemon trainer then retire early to
work at Taco Bell and happily greet people at the drive-thru with
the voice she talks to her grandparents with.
Sarah Mohrmann: Most likely to become an inspirational speaker
on her struggles of being allergic to gluten and finally learn something about gymnastics years after she quits her coaching job.
Caroline Moore: Most likely to move to the east coast and never
come back.
Kristi Navalta: Most likely to find the cure for cancer...with rice.
Darcy Neier: Most likely to win the presidential election with her
“Darcilicious” campaign but ultimately be impeached for using
“woohoo” in her speeches.
Madeline Nester: Most likely to become an Olympic gymnast
while simultaneously being the next Sun Drop girl.
Bridget Norlie: Most likely to dramatically swing her hair back and
forth.
Erin O’Brien: Most likely to be the most enthusiastic water polo
mom this side of the Mississippi but continue to reminisce about her
Miami boy days.
Rebecca Oliver: Most likely to write the next “Great American
Novel”.
Hannah Pacheco: Most likely to go to Vanderbilt, become a hotshot doctor, and discover the cure for cancer but forget to write it
down.
Abbey Perano: Most likely to drop out of college and become
Hoodie Allen’s groupie in order to ultimately marry him.
Julia Pottinger: Most likely to be a “free-roaming” parent in the
Francis Park neighborhood and get arrested for letting her children
go to the park alone.
Mallory Powers: Most likely to be CJ’s next “fun nun” (teaching
Pre-calc) but get kicked out of the Convent for excessive sass.
Kristen Price: Most likely to get lost on the way to local grocery
store.
Hannah Randolph: Most likely to become a high scale fashion and
hair stylist in NY and leave us all in the dust.
Maddy Reardon: Most likely to marry a chicken nugget and take a
selfie at the wedding.
Molly Records: Most likely to run a successful candy shop that also
functions as a spy-headquarters.
Meghan Redd: Most likely to join Christian mingle and come out
of it with a perfect match.
Casey Richards: Most likely to marry a criminal or a member of
one direction with her hairless cat Botox.
Bridget Ringwald: Most likely to start a world famous construction
company called “Puente’s Puentes” after winning the Next Great
Baker for her amazing ginger bread and Andes mint cookies.
Ellie Rupp: Most likely to dedicate her life to Batman fandom in
order to one day meet and marry Christian Bale.
Emily Schepp: Most likely to take first place in a street race in her
car.
Abby Schmitt: Most likely to become an astronaut making Jahrens
proud.
Jenna Schmittgens: Most likely to win an award as yearbook editor for her college.
Julia Schweizer: Most likely to sing Sound of Music in her sleep.
Jen Seithel: Most likely to be on America’s Next Top Model.
Rebeca Serrano: Most likely to be on Team USA...oh wait.
Maria Simon: Most likely to write a book about her family roots
and become the next Stephen King.
Anne Staten: Most likely to own a Corvette and jam to One Republic while enjoying any food covered in ketchup.
Emily Struttmann: Most likely to run away to the woods and create her own functional society based on the writings of Whitman,
Thoreau, and Buddha.
Allison Stumpf: Most likely to create and star in a work out
video entitled: Excessive Smiling Techniques - a Workout for
Your Face.
Caroline Suess: Most likely to revive FunkyJams after college and produce her own record label, based out of U City of
course.
Erin Sullivan: Most likely to become the voice of Sully on
Monsters Inc 3 fulfilling her name sake legacy.
Katherine Tarlas: Most likely to marry a nice Greek boy and
have an army of Greek warrior babies.
Nora Thiemann: Most likely to become the next Dr. Hohlt,
Kristen Wiig, or to fall asleep at any future important event all
while promoting the band she ‘manages’ You Had Me At Posters’.
Shannon Turner: Most likely to beat Scott Shoger in a fist
fight.
Meredith Verzino: Most likely to force even her female children to go to CBC.
Hannah Wachter: Most likely to switch back and forth between her horse and her Porsche on her daily commute to work
and still break the record for speeding.
Kathryn Wagner: Most likely to major in Pre-calc in college while
starting an underground piercing club that makes her millions on the
black market.
Molly Waller: Most likely to strive to be the Elle Woods of Rolla.
Abby Walsh: Most likely to be dressed each morning by woodland
creatures and attract birds and young children to her with her smile as
she saves the world.
Kaylie Werckmann: Most likely to make people think she’s shy,
draw them in and become friends, then never stop talking.
Maggie Whealen: Most likely to marry Derek Shepard ....oh wait.
Anne Wilhelm: Most likely to drop out of Villanova to join the
Yeezus world tour where she will open the show with her Lil Wayne
impersonation, gaining her international fame before becoming the
spokes model for Mastorakos Orthodontics.
Haley Williams: Most likely to go to Mars where she will spend her
days creating a “Physics on Mars” book and her nights star gazing.
Kate Williams: Most likely to sell voice recordings of her whooping
cough to high end movie production companies in order to pay for
the extermination of AP Chemistry for all time.
Congratulations
to the Top 5!
Valedictorian
(1st Ranked)
Kathryn Buscher is the valedictorian of the Class of
2015! She’ll be studying ceramic engineering with an
emphasis in biomaterials at Missouri University of
Science and Technology this fall. Her favorite classes
have been American Studies, AP U.S. Government
(and basically any of Dr. Hohlt’s classes), genetics, and
introduction to composition and literature; her favorite
teachers were Dr. Hohlt and Mrs. Reynolds. If she had
one thing to say to her class, it would be, “’Be kind
always for everyone you know is fighting a battle you
know nothing about.’ Thanks to those who were always
kind.” At graduation, Kathryn will be giving the valedictory address.
Salutatorian
(2nd Ranked)
Haley Williams was ranked 2nd of the senior
class of 2015! This fall, she will be attending
University of Tulsa to study chemical engineering. As salutatorian, she will be making a
speech at graduation.
3rd Ranked
Diana Boone was ranked 3rd of the
top 5 seniors this year. This fall, she
will be attending University of Alabama to study marketing and advertising. Her favorite class at CJ was
calculus, and her favorite teacher
was Ms. Colston. During the graduation ceremony, Diana will be saying
the class prayer.
4th Ranked
5th Ranked
Claire Boyce was the 4th ranked senior in
this year’s top 5! Next year, she will be premed at the University of Notre Dame. One
of her favorite teachers from her years at
CJ was Mr. Russell. She will be speaking at
Honors Convocation.
Corette would like to give a
special thanks to the Class of 2015
and everyone who contributed to
make this edition possible!
Amanda Gapsch is the 5th ranked senior graduating this year! She will be studying physical therapy
at Maryville University later this year. Her favorite
classes at CJ were calculus, health, and American
Studies, and she’ll definitely miss Ms. O’Brien, Mrs.
Kohlberg, and Dr. Hohlt after graduation. One of her
favorite memories was CJ-Palooza this spring. She
said that it was such a fun experience because she
got to spend the day with her friends (and the petting
zoo and face paint definitely didn’t hurt!). She will be
reading a speech at Honors Convocation.
And a super special
thank you to our
amazing Editor-inChief, Maria Simon.
She’s done amazing
work for the 4 years
she’s served on the
editorial board.
Thanks, Maria!
2014-2015 Corette Editorial Board
Moderator: Mrs. Reynolds
Managing Editor: Carly Vordtriede
Layout Editor: Anna Goldkamp Copyeditor: Lisa Millar
Editor-in-Chief: Maria Simon
Photography Editor: Kathryn Wagner
Assistant Layout Editor: Naomi Glascock
Story Editor: Elise Hughes