indigo nr. 1 english issue

indigo
homesick for europe
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MARCH 2007
MISSING FATHER
THE FREEDOM FLAGS OF BELARUS. FROM COMMEMORATION MOVEMENT TO REVOLUTION.
LOST IN TRANSLATION
BEATING THE BEER FEAR AND BUYINGBSTOLEN CATS: WORDS UNIQUE TO ONE LANGUAGE.
GOING MULTILINGO
WILL I EVER ROLL THAT SPANISH ‚R‘? WHAT FOREIGN TONGUE TWISTERS DO TO YOUR BRAIN.
HEY, BABY
FLIRTING TIPS FROM BELGIUM TO BULGARIA. FLOATING AN INDECENT PROPOSAL IN 11 COUNTRIES.
Birthday Bash
Europe‘s 50th – a party flop?
Editorial
Author: Ingo Arzt
Dear Reader,
Europe is not a place, but a feeling. Somewhere
between a longing for the faraway and homesickess,
it’s pretty contagious. The symptoms are: a yearning
for the scent of foreign cities; sometimes feeling foreign in your own country; travelling to a birthday
party halfway across a continent; only finding a word
in a foreign language.
Who‘s started discovering Europe also starts connecting ‘home’ with an entire continent. This is fuelling
the makers of indigo: The magazine is initially appearing in English, German, French, Italian, Dutch, Polish, and Spanish. Same content, different language. Its
story and stories tell of the wonderful hurly burly and
muddle of languages of this new home.
Many thanks for the spadework.
Regrettably, today’s political Europe has lost the
lightness with which its people conquered the
continent. We’ve packed this thought onto our
front page. The collage melds a photo taken in a
former warehouse in Berlin with the painting ‘Liberty Leading the People.‘ Delacroix’s masterpiece
inspired a statement by German poet Heinrich
Heine, which beautifully describes what constitutes the Europe beyond belligerent politics: “A
great thought breathes through this picture, one
that streams across our faces in wonderful ways.”
indigo icons index
contains
love and sex
does not contain
any EU issues
contains violence
contains
nastiness
This goes far further than the usual ‘Europe’ with its
union, its treaties, attempts at a constitution, statesmen and -women. Over 100 journalists, photographers, translators, and graphic designers from Spain
to Belarus worked at the magazine voluntarily. Their
motivation: to turn indigo into a magazine that breaks
the boundaries of the usual political paper.
contains humor
For the occasion, we’ve decided to rewrite the history of the EU: a true family drama. The occasion is
the 25th of March, 1957. On that day 50 years ago, six
heads of state signed the Treaty of Rome, a crucial step
on the EU’s path.
www.indigomag.eu
3
Contents
done
22
March 25th
Hall of Blame
Demonstrations are announced.
These guys won‘t be coming back –
Europe’s fallen despots from the last 50 years
18
Mother Europe
political Europe turns 50 –
a story ready for the daily soaps
16
Before and after
A view on the changed continent
4
todo
34
abdicate! Missing father
Valeriya Krasovskaya‘s fight against Europe’s
last dictator
26 accept! Homo Exodus
homosexuals feel the heat in eastern Europe –
and are emigrating to the West
61
abolish!
DJ Paul van Dyk speaks about
beats and poverty
You‘ve got Mail
Stories of stamps and
loveletters: Europe‘s
network of romance
differences
1
2
4
5
6
7
3
14
15
16
17
18
19
20
21
22
Post-Modern
8 Insights Ask your neighbors to know
Find each postbox‘s country – no prizes to
be won, but maybe you‘ll recognise one
when you‘re on holiday!
who you are
28 Sweden
14 Latvia
27
13 Cyprus
26 Czech Republic
12 Italy
United Kingdom
25 Spain
11 Hungary
24 Slovakia
10 Denmark
23 Slovenia
9 Greece
22 Romania
8 France
7
Finland
21
Portugal
20 Poland
6 Estonia
5 Germany
Netherlands
19
Monaco
18
4 Croatia
17
3 Bulgaria
16
2 Belgium
1
Austria
15
Malta
Luxembourg
Lithuania
8
9
10
23
24
25
11
12
13
26
27
28
Cold Style
War
Prejudices abound in this battle
between an Easten sexbomb and
a Western powerbabe. Stiletto vs.
Sneaker, take to the ring.
Cold Style War
Author: Julia Fuhr
Marzena Lesinska
Photo: Ralph Pache
Translation: Adam Chrambach
I’ve worn that much colour, I was five and flouting Indian’s war paint! But the feathers in my
hair wouldn’t compete with the extent of your
high-carat decorations. I’d feel sorry for a Christmas tree, carrying all that around. Take a look
at the sky? No sun, right? Then what the devil
are you doing with those sunglasses – especially with lenses that could pass for dinner plates.
Your makeup makes such a thunderous impression that a hurricane would run and hide. Don’t
you think that the last of your weekly visits to
the hairdresser ended a shade too blonde?
Your hair is so light I have to close my
eyes perfect moment for a thought:
Why the masquerade? Do you really
think you can calculate the value of
a woman in the height of her heels
The amount you save around the middle and
bottom you pile around the top! Leopards, tigers, snakes, and other fauna, you could go as
a walking lesson on advanced zoology! All that
creeping and crawling, it’s the biodiversity of the
textile industry copulating with pink satin and
black lace.
If there were a prize for tasteless exaggeration,
you’d take every category. The section on clothing is yours, hands (and cleavages) down. And I
haven’t even started on that multicoloured paint
pot you dive into every morning. The last time
Talk of the town
Student rioting in Athens, the Brits and their small
sex misunderstanding, and other stories
True beauty glows from the inside – you
wish! It might be that inner values are
highly regarded. But what’s a pretty product without a selling point?
You know the joke about there not
being an ugly woman, just a lack
of wine? If I look at you Western
Europeans, I have to admit that
no amount of vodka is going to
remedy this situation. Wherever
I look, inconspicuous wallflowers
from here to the horizon.
want to know when your hair has seen a drying
hood from the bottom. What’s the problem in
making the best out of technology? Sunbeds and
home-trainers are there to be used. Your stupid
ascetic antics are not an excuse. Your cheeks are
screaming for rouge. And if eyelashes could write
wishlists, yours would have Mascara in the first
line, in bold. And what about that formless cloth
bag that you pretend is a jacket. Twelve year olds
don’t make the style-bloopers you do, and you’re
a grown woman. What were you thinking? Have
you forgotten the meaning of style sense?
The problems start with the footwear: shoes without heels might be
comfy, but I might consider taking
them to my aerobics class. My little brother wears foxier jeans than you
You’re spastically running after your own authenticity; now I understand the meaning of the ugly
running shoes. Lady, wake up to the fact that your
personality won’t suffer from being presented in
a full package—and looks are a part of that. With
you, I have to say in all respect, those looks come
across as unspectacular and unfeminine. I’m
pretty sure that style wont survive your steady attacks. You say one scores in being natural. Could
you imagine a woman might want to show what
she’s got? You’re always so big on emancipation.
Then don’t let your femininity be stolen like this.
Use your weapons! A little more cleavage, a little
less cover-ups, ok? Sexy, not unisex. Deal with it,
dear, a book is, in the end, judged by its cover.
At least I‘m always given due warning. The
unmelodious clicking of your stilettos is a warning of what is to come, and my eyes won’t take it.
Please stop. I know one should steer well clear of
prejudices and stereotypes. Political correctness
is good for some, but allow me a tiny flirt with
the stylish antagonisms between Eastern- and
Western Europe. There’s an ominous clicking on
Europe’s streets. You, my dear Eastern European
women, have been happily prancing across Western European asphalt too long now.
What’s the thing with the pointy, skybound footwear? A javelin thrower worries me less. Your
thin, naked legs in those caricatures of shoes prove that well roasted chicken doesn’t just come on
a plate. Who cares about the skin, what on earth
do you think you’re doing to the energy crisis? If
you’re not willing to be scanty here, then at least
be consequent. Minimalism might be cool when
it comes to art, but that shred wrapped around
your ass can’t really pass as a skirt. And what’s the
point of a ‘handbag’ which fits nothing but its
own lining. Oh, I forgot that there’s Prada pasted
on the front. You like generous labelling, don’t
you, it makes you feel good about yourself in
your pointless world.
24
74
Post-modern
Put your letter in here
Top 5
European Countries in Clothing and
Footwear Expenditure, in % of total
2004 household Expenditure
times cup size? As you blame us Western European gals for the world’s antistyle, Lady, try
stepping into our blunt but stylish shoes and
take a good look in the mirror—although you do
that already. Style requires not superlatives but
the perfect dose. I have nothing against fashion
accessories of any kind, as long as I feel good
beneath them. Away with the scratchy leopardskin, I want my own skin, not his – and not
every square inch of it presented for public
inspection. I’m sexy without a miniskirt.
We women haven’t fought long and
hard for emancipation for it all to go
in a puff of powder smoke. And as
clichéed as it sounds: true beauty glows from the inside.
and my Yorkie more jewellery.
Your favourite colour must be
washed-out (if not washout!) and
your tops are odious to look at.
Face it, babe, there are collections
that go beyond cotton T-shirts in
three colour possibilities and way
beyond the standard, five-pocket
jeans. Obviously your poor choice
of labels is only made worse by your
general aversion to shopping.
Do you live by the maxim: spoilt for choice and
choices spoilt? I don’t understand the point of
walking behind a gargantuan handbag that could
easily pass for a shopping bag. From a style point
of view, just don’t go there! Your head is topped
by a “I don’t need a trim” haircut. And I don’t
Greece
10.1
Italy
8.2
Portugal
7.6
Latvia
6.9
Estonia &
Austria
6.7
fashion altercation across geographic boundaries
www.eurostat.eu
Going
Multilingo
The genius and the failure. Why learning languages is torture to some and
a walkover for others. Is your brain
up to the challenge?
For ten minutes you’re explaining to the receptionist that your shower curtain needs replacing. You
still mix up clumsy gestures with ready-made phrasebook formulas when your girlfriend comes to the
rescue. In three irritating, perfect sentences, she sorts it
out... again. The same frustrating story repeats throughout the holidays. Whilst you labour to put together
replies of more than two words, she has befriended
the entire holiday resort and her language skills have
risen to a whole new level. This is so unfair, you cry. It
undoubtedly must be due to that string of dreadful teachers you endured throughout your school years. Or
is it because your parents could never afford to send
you on those language exchanges?
„At the end of the day, maybe I am a failure at languages?”
Is there such a thing as innately talented or untalented
people? Katrien Mondt, a linguist at the Vrije Universiteit in Brussels, believes that any motivated student
can learn a language if the circumstances are right—in
particular if the environment is favourable and allows
the language to be employed frequently. Take, for instance, adopted or immigrant children: most if not all
acquire near-native skills. But why do some adults,
despite being immersed in the same environment,
struggle to acquire a second language, while your
girlfriend finds it dead easy? Michael W. L. Chee, at
the Cognitive Neuroscience Lab of Singapore Health
Services, believes that ‘phonological working memory’ (PWM) could be a determining answer. PWM describes a short-term capacity system that allows us to
store and repeat new, unfamiliar sounds. In contrast,
permanent, familiar sound patterns are stored in our
long-term memory. PWM is located in several areas of
the brain—for instance, the area responsible for rehearsing sounds without pronouncing them can be found
in the ‘Broca’s area’ and the phonological storage area
in the left inferior parietal cortex. According to Chee,
the larger your PWM capacity is, the easier you’ll find
the development of a vocabulary base, and in turn,
your foreign language acquisition. Yet, it is hard to
tell whether a large PWM is consequence or cause of
easy bilingualism and this theory is criticised by other
researchers in the field. It can only be part of the explanation, as a number of intricate factors are at play:
whatever your ‘talent’, motivation and usage, among
other things, are also key.
58 The Cold Style War East versus West: a serious
Going Multilingo
Author: Tania Rabesandratana
Illustration: Verena Brandt
EG
Going Multilingual
Why you’re a language genius while
drunk and other truths
statements
30 Homesick for Europe
Gut feelings for a continent
9 Finally! We are hated!
Could someone please burn the EU flag?
31
Have Your Say – Pinup Thought
Loesje posters and the art of explaining
the world in a sentence
6 Bubbles Where Europeans meet.
5
stimuli
64 A Pervert’s Guide to Cinema
66
40
The Slovak psychologist Slavoj Zizek
and Sophie Fiennes’ film on the depths
of cinema
Lordi’s Lair
Saxophones and Self-mutilation –
a foray into the Finnish music scene
Virtual Insanity
Second Life is seen as the next step
of human evolution for one reason
only: good PR
72
HipHop battle
Germany and France fight for the
worst music
do it yourself
42
52
51
gambit! Hey Baby!
Ever tried to pick up a Swiss?
Not as difficult as you’d imagine
grasp!
Lost in Translation Some words defy
the most ardent translation
go there! Chernobyl
Trash tourism in Ukraine
10
gamble! Europe à la Card –
The countries‘ Top Trumps
44
get old! Olive Oil and Sheep –
The secret of the centenarian
Sardinians
73
grill! Balls‘n‘Brains –
Tasty tortillas from Spain‘s centre
Secret Tip
The United Kingdom is
a joker when it comes
to Eurovision; it‘s not
nearly so phat on the
overweight index.
FINLAND
J: How often do you speak with
your girlfriend? Do you use
Skype or a different chat?
K: Skype. It’s more useful because
you can videoconference and you
see each other. How about you?
J: I speak with her daily. We both
have lots to do, so might not talk
for days, which is hard.
ITALY • FRANCE
Valerio: The city of Nice was an
Italian gift to France. It was ours
and we gave it to you after the
Italian Second War of Independence!
Anne-Marie: Every single Italian
I meet says that to me…
6
Talking Bubbles
Author/Photo: Carolina Pirola
ITALY
S: Why do you study italian?
C: I need it for my tourism
studies at university. You need
languages for that.
S: But why italian?
C: Ummmm...I don’t know! Because it’s easy for us!
GREECE • FRANCE • GERMANY
M: The Fallas of Valencia is the
craziest festival I’ve seen in my
entire life!
C: Aren’t they?! They put so
much work into the statues to
burn them down in two minutes.
I don’t get it!
M: It’s crazy, but beautiful. I went
there last year and I loved it.
Everybody was partying on the
street, drinking, dancing…Unforgettable!
FRANCE • SPAIN
E: The quail paté is delicious!
Carlos took me somewhere to
taste it and at first I didn’t even
want to try, but then I liked it
so much that now I’m looking
everywhere for it!
C: You go, girl!
V: Yuck, don’t count on me, I’m a
vegetarian.
C: What?! You have no idea what
you’re missing…
When Europe meets it is one big cacophony. Every in Madrid Sunday
dozens of people from all over the continent, especially Erasmus students, gather at the Retiro Park to play bongos and other percussion
instruments until sunset
SPAIN
J: There is going to be a new war
before you know it; now Bush
says I-don’t-know-what about
Iran.
E: I know, I heard it on the news.
A: This is starting to be quite scary. Every little excuse is enough
to go to war.
FRANCE
A: Yes, yes, I think we have to try
out everything.
B: I think it depends. One cannot
do everything.
A: Experience is the only thing
we have in life.
7
MALI • BELGIUM
A: They have good rhythm. In
my, country we play them during
celebrations. For instance, at my
brother’s wedding we had several
musicians playing all night long.
K: I love them. During the summer we go to the beach to play
by night so that we don’t disturb
anybody.
SPAIN
E: …And suddenly she says: “What
happens is that you’ve always
have had everything without
having to work for it”. And so I
reply: “Oh, really. Well, who paid
for your car?”
J: Man, ignore her. You two are
always fighting.
GERMANY
M: It’s so relaxing...
P: Yeah, I know. Southern and
Northern Europe are totally different. It must be the climate.
Finally!
We’re hated!
Our columnist is having a spot of
trouble with his European identity.
Would somebody please hate us?
8
”Back! Pull back!,” the officer barks into a
soldier’s ear. Somewhere, in some desert, a squadron
has come under heavy fire. Men slither on their stomachs behind sandbags, machine guns rattle, countless
explosions whip sand into their faces.
What a crummy film. I lounge in my comfy cinema
seat and, while grenades explode randomly on the
The European screen,
take a moment to think about my European
identity. How easy life could be: “We can’t leave the
Author: Ingo Arzt
flag behind,” the soldier screams back at his officer.
Photo: Carina C. Kircher
On a small sandy hill in the centre of the picture the
Translation: Adam Chrambach
shreds of a flag waves valiantly. The officer nods. The
soldier ducks and runs. He makes it to the flagpole,
rescues the flag, ducks, runs back, but suddenly, before
he can dive to safety, he’s hit and sinks to the ground.
Bleeding, he falls into the officer’s arms, dies, then smiles. He clenches HER in his heroic grasp, the blue flag
with the twelve yellow stars on it: Europe. Unbelievable. Someone’s dying for the EU flag.
Of course it’s the Stars and Stripes. This is a Hollywood film, the kind where they sacrifice whole battalions of unseasoned recruits in every second Pro-IraqAnti-Vietnam-Whatever-War-Movie just to retrieve the
damn flag. Real heroes, sacrifices for the collective,
with pathos and whatnot. Let’s try that somewhat closer to home: In the next scene of the film, the soldier’s
Insight
Out
If you want to know who you
are, ask your neighbours.
Gérard Sina (43) lives in
Kigala, the capital of Rwanda, with his wife and five
children.
Arrogant Europeans
Sometimes I have the feeling that we have to be
doubly compliant to please our European customers.
This is my experience over the last few years, ever since
my company Uriwibutso started delivering passionfruit
to Brussels. At first, we were able to quickly built up
a network of customers. We sent bananas, strawberries, and mangoes to Italy, Germany, France, and the
coffin is carried to its grave draped with the EU flag.
José Manuel Barroso, surrounded by the crash of funereal trumpets, carefully folds it and hands it to the
fallen soldier’s gorgeous, young widow. A single tear
lands on a sunflower-yellow star. Beethoven’s ninth
rings out.
Nobody cares about our flag in European reality.
The Danish, British, or American flags must be available in self-immolating versions by now. Would anyone burn the European flag? How can you be properly
loved if no one knows how to hate you? It’s all rather
depressing. “Would that you were either cold or hot!,”
or so it says in the holy scriptures. In that sense, there
must be hope.
Recently, a soldier guarding the Light Guided Missile Division 8 in Geneva climbed onto the roof of the
embassy he was watching over. On arrival, he hung an
EU flag on half-mast, just like that, unasked. At least,
something. Considering the languid Swiss demeanour,
this could be understood as a quasi flag burning. And
look at the Bulgarians, who’ve reinterpreted in flag on
a magazine cover. Only ten of the twelve little stars
were visible. The eleventh had been replaced with a
hemp leaf. For the twelfth they’d included a swastika.
Meanwhile, a few attack helicopters were pulverising
the enemy on screen. I wonder, what plot twists would
have to be added to relocate the plot to Europe: Soldiers land in conflict area, hastily erect a support base.
Sandbags are stacked, they encircle it generously with
barbed wire. Unnoticed, the enemy troops watch from
a nearby mountain: “Commander, the invaders are
building their base and have hoisted a blue flag with
yellow stars. Should we open fire?” Their leader peers
through his telescope: “Nah...They’re probably digging
a well or constructing a solar-powered drinking water
treatment plant.” What follows is a two-hour film rich
in ethnological depth and abounding in sympathy for
local shepherds. But that’s what it’s like, the good old
European stage.
Netherlands. But the Europeans have unbelievably
high quality standards. If we Africans bargain with the
Europeans, we automatically have the weaker position.
Once, a Belgian importer called us. A whole container
was spoiled when it arrived in Brussels. One and a half
tonnes of bananas! Sadly, we didn’t have a representative in Europe who could have checked the situation
for us, and sending someone from Rwanda would have
been too expensive. We had to believe him. The whole
incident cost us 20,000 euros. Today we don’t deliver
fresh fruit to Europe anymore, the prices have fallen
too much and the risk is too high. Instead, we export
fruit juices and banana wine to Belgium, France, and
Germany. I’ve just returned from Italy. There, I bought
new machines worth 900,000 euros to produce fruit
juice concentrate. We need European machines to be
able to meet European standards.
Study hard, or else...
If there were one place in the world where people should live, it would definitely be Great Britain.
People living there are gentlemen from top to toe,
experts, real friends, and simply amazing. I am calling
them everyday from my call centre in New Delhi trying
to sell them UMTS mobile phones and contracts of
the “3G – The third generation mobile network campaign”. Sometimes I am really being a pain in their
necks. They are having lunch when I am calling and I
am answering the phone as “Charles” as nobody would
be understanding my real name “Vishnu”. After that I
tell them in my Indian accent how they could save a
lot of money with the new contracts. “Thank you for
calling Sir, but I am not interested”, they answer, eating noisily. However, when making phone calls to the
U.S., it is a completely different situation for me. They
start cursing and giving my mother or sister names at
once, though I only have a brother. Despite all that,
we are really successful within the call centre, but also
all over India. I am really proud of that success. We
are taking more and more jobs from Europe to my
country everyday and earn billions with you. Europe
could be a lot more powerful if it finally made a real
effort. Italy, France, England, and Germany – all
you guys have the same culture! However, it is
good the way it is at the moment. For 300 years
we were ruled by Great Britain and I think it
is our time now. The future is ours. All I can
tell you is to be making some effort! Focus on
your jobs and your studies! If you do not do so,
the little yellow men from China and India will
come to do their own business and take your
wealth with them.
Recorded by Ingo Arzt
Vishnu Sharma (20 years
old), his job alias is
“Charles”, works in the Neveno call center in New Delhi and studies economics,
business and English.
10
10 - 99
Author: Adam Chrambach
Illustration: Jan Steinbach
2-4
20 - 45
Europe
à la Card
Cut out these Top Trumps cards, find some
friends to play, and then annihilate them
with your BigMac Index!
11
Instructions Distribute cards equally among players.
Agree whether statistics win with high or low numbers. Then take turns reading out one statistic from the
top card. Winner collects all top cards from that round
and starts next round.
Legend Litres of pure alcohol consumed per year: Drop
for drop, pure ethanol consumed per person in any
form. Chug two beers more than last year and your
country’s number is sure to rise.
Big Mac Index: A measurement of the purchasing
power in each country. As Big Macs are available almost anywhere and local retailers set the prices, they
are used to compare prices and wealth.
Ranking in the Happy Planet Index: An worldwide in-
dex of personal well being and happiness. Smile!
Podium Places in the Eurovision Song Contest: This
country’s crooners have gathered this many gold, silver, and bronze medals at Eurovision.
Percentage of women in parliament: The question remains open as to whether a high or a low number is
the winner here.
Placement in WHO Ranking for overweight countries:
Are the Luxembourgers more obese than the Lithuanians? The World Health Organization has done the
headcount.
Hospitality Club members: The Hospitality Club is
a network of people who exchange free accommodations. This card is not a ticket to a free villa, but you
could steer towards countries with lots of free abodes.
12
13
14
15
16
Befor & After
Photo: Irene Sacchi
© EC/Marcelle Jamar
Rond-Point Schuman in 1962
17
Rond-Point Schuman in 2007
18
E.a.h.C.
Autor: Jochen Markett
Illustration: Maria Messing
Translation: Adam Chrambach
1957 − Germany • Belgium • France • Italy
Luxembourg • Netherlands
1973 − United Kingdom • Denmark • Ireland
1981 − Greece • 1986 − Portugal • Spain
Europe and
her Children
From its humble beginnings, Europe’s
patchwork family grows and grows.
It all started one rainy evening, a
long, long time ago...
On the evening of the 25th of March, 1957,
the European family was conceived in a festive orgy.
The rain hammering down on the Capitol in Rome
couldn’t dampen the spirits inside the ornate ballroom
of the Campidoglio. Eleven elders had convened to
represent their respective six countries. The official
line was that they were to sign an agreement regarding
economic and nuclear cooperation.
What actually took place behind the shut curtains of
that ballroom will most likely never reach public ears.
Indigo wouldn’t dream of breaking such a long-lasting
taboo, but let’s give something away: The heads of state
and government had their wives smuggled in through
the back entrance. Fascinated by the historical dimension, especially if in the presence of some real power,
they decided to reward their husbands for the hard
work right there and then. The ceremonies, if one is
inclined to call it so, were completed within an hour.
Belgian foreign minister Henri Spaak burst into the
ballroom, shirt buttons in complete disarray, and proclaimed: „An act to go down in European history!“
Nine months and six days later, on the 1st of January,
1958, six babies were born in the maternity room of the
Rome university clinic: Three boys and three girls, the
young Frenchman Jean, the Italian Francesco, the German Michel, the Belgian Emma, the Dutch Sanne, and
the Luxemburger Octavie. The parents were well aware
of the meaningful birthdate and decided to leave their
offspring to a special kind of education. An internationally acclaimed nanny was hired: Europa, daughter
of renowned Greek nobility, took the children in and
promised to teach some good old common values.
The press was screaming with joy. A decade earlier and
this would have been unthinkable. The families had
been feuding to such an extent that the Montagues‘
and Capulets‘ mild misunderstandings seemed downright cuddly. And now, six children of different nationality were to grow up in unison?
No one envied the nanny for her position. From the
beginning, she had difficulty keeping little Jean on the
right track. When a British couple enquired in 1963
whether their expected tot could be integrated into the
little family, Jean mumbled a stubborn ‚Non‘ under his
breath. He was a true problem child. While the others loved playing in the coal cellar over all else, Jean
insisted on staying in his room to play with his ever
growing arsenal of “atomic” toys. At age 8, he started
refusing to participate in family meals. His high chair
remained perennially empty. The nanny knew better
than to try to force him to do anything; she knew the
delicate balance between the six could easily come undone. Smart as she was, she set out to reconcile the
group. During a holiday in Luxembourg the family
decided that each member needs some space to fulfil
him/herself, despite the common goals.
When the children turned nine, Mama Europa decided to move to Brussels and immediately called a
family conference to solve anything from pet peeves
to fistfighting disputes. The move paid immediate
dividends. Even the usually so difficult puberty was
handled with flying colours and could not dent the
young sextet, on the contrary. After their hormonal
roller-coaster-ride the boys‘ and girls‘ development
had progressed so well that they asked Mama Europa
to adopt four further children. Europa was thrilled
at the thought, because in the previous years many
parents from countries such as Denmark, Ireland, the
United Kingdom, and Norway had expressed the wish
to bear a child for the internationally acclaimed family.
Tragedy struck when the Norwegian mother suffered a
miscarriage, but 1973 still saw three babies bring new
life to the place: Mathilde, Patrick and Emily. Patrick
was a problem child from day one onward, he weighed
a mere 2.8 kilos at birth. But thanks to a nourishing
diet and much motherly love, the young Irishman
sprouted and flourished.
The harmony within the patchwork family steadily increased. When Mother Europa decided to introduce
a new unit of pocket money, the ECU, only the individualistic Windsor-grandchild Emily decided it was
stupid and refused to take part. She was generously
allowed to continue using her old pocket money.
The community was soon faced with new challenges:
three further parents arrived to harbour their children
in the family. Hefty discussions ensued, especially surrounding young Georgios, whose Greek parents had
been called ‘junta’ due to their authoritarian upbringing practices, in which they were known to pull out
the cane now and then, just years earlier. In the end,
the family agreed that the parents had mellowed with
time, though. So, once again, the family opened its
arms to new offspring in 1981.
19
Five years later they broke through the dozen-milestone. Europa rejoiced at the suntanned Rui and Alejandro, although she was well aware of the growing
differences in her family. The six eldest were raking in
the cash in their jobs in industry and service sectors.
Their family ties were so strong that they still lived at
home, which especially Francesco the Italian savoured
to the hilt (he must have it in the blood). The younger
two spent their childhood trolling through the gardens and fields and had little in common with their
older siblings.
20
Europa made an inordinately wise decision: she decided they needed to get off the money trip a bit and
spend more time on social responsibility. To this end,
they decided to change their name to ‘Union’ during
the winter holidays of 1991, spent in the cosy resort
of Maastricht. The family decided they needed to
face other families in unison and present a common
message. They also concluded that a regular meeting
for some hearty cops and robbers play couldn’t hurt.
Ahhh, they’d grown up. Europa no longer needed to
wipe behinds or enforce sleeping habits, while the
children’s teddy bears no longer needed to stay in one
room. They could switch beds as they liked and whenever they liked. Free bear movement for all!
The changes had an immediate positive effect on all
members. The good old German Michel had for years
been suffering from a serious case of bipolar multiple
personality disorder, but had gotten over it well and
was growing to the strongest child. He even no longer
frightened the others with his regular fits. The adoption of Elisabeth from Vienna, the blond little Swede
Anna, and the Finn Iida couldn’t unbalance this new
family.
Fascinated by the impressive size of her family, Europa
announced that same year that she was nowhere near
finished. Moreover, she planned a large addition to the
family property, in which at least ten further children
could find room. No one dared challenge a mother
raring to go and all remained silent: A new direction
had been born.
Another vacation in Amsterdam in 1997—you know
how vacations in Amsterdam end— the offspring gave
the mother free range to decide family matters. Three
years later they packed their bags and headed off to
the Cote d’Azur, where a new adoption plan was conceived of over the roofs of Nice. Many children were
to join. The grumbling from the back rows could not
be overheard. On arriving home, all were clear about
the goal: “We need a family contract!” Shouldn’t be
difficult, thought Europa. “I’ll write everything down
later when I have peace and quiet. The children will
be able to read it and everyone will say what a brilliant
mother I am.”
In the erroneous belief that her power is absolute, Europa shifted the contract from one side of her desk to
the other and back again. Her mind was distracted:
more children, more baby children... As chance would
have, May of 2004 saw another minibus stop in front
of the expanded country house of the ‘union’ family.
Ten beaming couples stepped out, each with a newwww.sp-studio.de/
born hanging in their arms: straw blonde Erik from
Estonia, the pretty Latvian Liga, Lithuanian Ona with
the bright green eyes, the exceptionally large for his
age Pole Jakub, the fraternal twins Tomas from the
Czech Republic and Pavol from Slovakia, the tiny
Slovene Marija, the noble son Karol from Hungary,
warm-hearted Joseph from Malta, and the Cypriot
Dimitra. She had been a complicated birth and had
been paralysed on one side since, but physicians hope
to find a remedy soon.
Ageing Europa could now walk with her head up high,
as 25 children swelled the ranks of her little project. As
she had her hands full running after toddlers, an old
friend of the family—Valery Giscard d’Estaing, uncle
of family original Jean—offered his services in formulating the new house rules. He set to work immediately,
and after many nights of candlelit musing, the magnum opus was finished. Each child received a copy
on its bedside table. Some, the Belgian Emma and
Austrian Elisabeth for example, spent a night reading it beneath the covers and proudly announced the
next morning that they loved the idea. One child after
the other arrived with similar news over the next few
days. Suddenly, it was a stormy night in May of 2005,
Jean and Sanne burst into the dining room, fuming,
furious! Uncle Valery has nerve, writing such flapdoodle! He has absolutely no clue how the family works
and what we all want! First we are never asked about
anything and now we are supposed to decide on this
trashy document on the spot!? Not to speak of the fact
that everything is unfair these days! Over our dead
body! The new rules were torn into shreds and scattered through the room before the two disappeared to
their rooms in a huff.
A deathly silence drifted over the dinner table, from
where the rest had watched. Peace-loving Europa had
seen such outbursts from her children. But now she
could not ignore them, as she needed all the children
to agree to the house rules. Total shock spread across
her face, it took minutes for her to gasp: “I need some
time on my own...” She left the room with her face in
her hands. A black cloud hung over the house over the
next few months. Even the adoption of Gabriela from
Bucharest and Stefka from Sofia in the spring of 2007
couldn’t lift the mood.
Sooner than anyone had expected, the 25th of March,
2007 arrived. As firstborn, Michel had thought of inviting his siblings to Berlin to celebrate a large, family
celebration. He knew a special occasion was needed
to bond again after the recent family crises. And suddenly, exactly that wished-for moment set it. Italian
singer Gianna Nannini’s raspy voice wafted over the
crowd, the song ‘Grazie’ caught in every throat, the
siblings fell into each other’s arms. From the crowd,
the young Turkish Fatma watched with a smile spreading across her lips while she gently stroked her full,
pregnant belly.
1995 − Sweden • Finland • Austria
1995 − Estonia • Latvia • Lituania • Poland Caesco •
Slovenia • Slovakia • Hungary • Malta • Cyprus
2007 − Romania • Bulgaria
21
www.sjsu.edu
www.dictateurs.com
www.calvin.edu
www.worldexplorer.be
www.ceausescu.org
www.marxists.org
www.vitral.org
www.ahistoryofgreece.com
Hall of Blame
European values charging outwards in
a ceaseless campaign: these 8 were
left in their wake.
The European Union has spent the half century
since the Second World War securing basic freedoms,
a bumpy road for sure. Some of the more jarring potholes have come in the form of despots, those powerful
men who had to make way for European expansion.
Little is left of them once Europe has blown past. Not
many would know that Nikolae Ceausescu started his
career wanting to be a cobbler. How much is left of
fallen leaders, once their faces fade from the television screens? Some leave destabilised countries, others
harebrained politics: When Francisco Franco passed
away, women could not work, own property, open a
bank account or travel without their husband‘s consent. Others are left in the dark during their stay in
office: Antonio Salazar had to remove the picture of
his idol, Benito Mussolini, from his desk once World
War II was over. Yet others notice where the power is:
Georgios Papadopoulos reportedly was on the CIA’s
payroll for 15 years before the coup that lifted him to
power. Under the wheels of time, most dictators are
remembered not for their ascension but for gruesome
acts of inhumanity. Their ends are also documented feverishly. While Wojciech Jaruzeslki was signing a book
in 1994, four years after his abdication, a disgruntled
farmer threw a stone at him, breaking his jaw. They
may stick in memory, but history has never been kind
to the fallen.
Photos: Luis Carlos Torres • Viorika Prikhodko
Realisation: Joeri Oudshoorn • Maria Messing • Maik Wiechmann
Author: Adam Chrambach
24
Talk of the town
Author: Carolina Pirola
Translation: Louisa Karwat
Talk of the town
Castles and cheese, statues and statutes:
There‘s whispering on the streets. Get
these stories while they‘re hot and listen to
what they‘re talking about.
Should immigrants be granted a
“certificate of appropriate behaviour” and “amicable
cohabitation”? According to Alberto Fernández’s proposal of February 9th, 2007, those who “truly respect
the society, the city, and the country they are living
in” should be. Fernández is the candidate of the Municipal Popular Group party for the post of mayor of
Barcelona.
The answers of various political immigrants’ groups
in Catalonia are rather pessimistic. Jordi Hereu, mayor
of Barcelona, speaks about the danger of establishing
such certificates; he considers them as discrimination
“based on home country, skin colour, and ethnic background.” Hereu reminds that rights and obligations
“should be applied universally,” since “those rights and
obligations are applicable for all of us.”
The citizens of Athens definitely agree
on one thing: no private universities. An amendment
of the constitution opens the door to the replacement
of the article stipulating that all centres of higher education “are under the responsibility of the State.” This
amendment makes it possible to now launch private
universities.
As soon as some left-wing students came to hear about
this amendment, they hit the streets. The strikes have
now lasted several weeks, and, far from losing in intensity, they are becoming more and more violent. One
of the largest strikes took place on February 23, 2007,
when more than 25,000 students from all over the
country met in Athens; the result was a number of
injured and detentions carried out by the local police.
The British seemed to have
been sleeping during sex education. This is the conclusion one can draw from a publication by the British Association for Family Affairs. According to a
poll conducted with 495 British adults, the Britons are
completely lost or are not sure what the issue of sex
exactly refers to.
The figures are quite alarming: 89 percent do not know
that sperm can survive for seven days inside the body
of a woman; 50 percent didn’t know when during a
women’s menstruation cycle she is most fertile; and 29
percent of the respondents stated that jumping up and
down right after having unprotected sex could avoid a
pregnancy. Oops.
Again there is blood running
through the veins of Count Dracula’s famous castle in
Transylvania, Romania. Yet this time, the motivation is
fuelled by an attempt to sell this fortress built in the
14th century; the Habsburg family has owned it since
it was returned to the royalty last year 50 years after
communist confiscation. The owners are asking for 60
million euros: The Romanian government, unable to
dig up the cash for such an acquisition, now must worry about a glittery Dracula hotel or a theme park with
bloodcurdling rides.
The Russian government
has long been under fire from international human
rights organisations. The Russian Minister of the Interior has denied recent accusations that some officers
forced soldiers to prostitute themselves and benefited
financially from it. One of the most striking cases involves an 18-year-old man who was beaten up and injured so severely that one had to amputate his legs and
testicles.
25
The spokesman of the Soldiers’ Mothers Organisation
confirmed that a number of clients in St. Petersburg
were willing to pay for sexual relations with soldiers.
The government is currently investigating.
Disputes over linguistic issues in
Belgium are not new. At the moment, the mayor of a
small town near Brussels has caused a stir. He prohibited using French in the region’s schools, wanting the
children to learn Dutch instead. Anyone caught speaking French on school premises is to be punished.
The mayor assured, of course, that he has assigned
a group of professors to advise those pupils who do
not speak Dutch. Parents who have trouble with communicating on parents’ day can count on the help of
interpreters.
Nasr Joemann, secretary
for the Contact Organisation for Muslims and Government, speaks about the difficult situation of the Muslim community; many have emigrated to countries
such as France and Spain: they have felt discriminated
against since September 11th. Now, vacant positions
are filled by more radical clergy, allowing Wahhabism,
an especially conservative interpretation previously
unknown in the Netherlands, to find a foothold, creating tension within the community.
A Soviet monument, “Soldier in Bronze,” is giving Estonian politics a nasty headache. President Toomas Hendrik Ilves refuses to put his signature
under a law ordering the removal of this statue located
in central Talinn within one month. The law also prohibits monuments that glorify the Soviet regime.
Ethnic Russians regard this as disrespectful to them,
as the statue commemorates liberation from the Nazis during World War II. The government announced
that they would move the statue to a more suitable
location.
Poland and
Slovakia are embroiled in a rather cheesy dispute. It
started when the European Union decided to certify
the Polish Oscypek cheese as a trademark. The Slovakian Ministry of Agriculture objected just before the
deadline, as they claim that their Ostiepok is, in fact,
the original.
In order to prove the differences between the two
cheeses, the Polish allege their Oscypek cheese consists of 60 percent sheep’s milk and Ostiepok cheese
of 80 percent cow’s milk. Therefore, these two cheeses
cannot be regarded as one kind. The European Union
proposes the two sides come to an amicable agreement
on their own.
While Brussels discusses Turkish integration, the government in Ankara continues to deny
the existence of a Kurdish minority in their country
– a barrier in the Turkish application for the EU.
The leader of the Democratic Party of Turkey, Ahmet
Turk, and his vice, Aysel Tegluk, have been sentenced
to one and a half years of prison for distributing leaflets in their Kurdish language. According to the judge,
this constitutes a violation of the Parties’ Law, which
prohibits the use of another language other than Turkish at events and in party publications.
NO!
26
Homo Exodus
Author: Etienne Deshoulières
Photo: Joab Nist
Translation: Adam Chrambach
Homo
Exodus
A deathly silence: Droves of Eastern
European gays and lesbians are fleeing discrimination and persecution.
Never before has the European Union seen one
of its prime ministers publicly denounce a homosexual parade. “It is unacceptable for sexual minorities
to organise such a march in the heart of Riga,” stated
Aigars Kalvitis, Latvian prime minister, in July, 2005.
His comments were directed at the planned Gay Pride
Parade and many groups chose to stand behind the
politician. Juris Lavrikovs, Latvian gay activist, relates
the situation: “Before the demonstration, a hysterical
campaign took place from the direction of those antagonistic toward gays, directed by the Catholic, Lutheran, and Protestant churches as well as ultra-national
right-wing organisations.” The march was banned by
the city council; Finally, a judge overturned decision,
allowing it to take place.
The couple is Jaco van den
Dool (in pink) and Sjoerd Warmerdam.
They married March 6th, 2007.
“As we made our way, thousands of people started
chanting homophobic slogans and lifted placards
reading such things as ‘The homos are fucking our
country’ or ‘Your rights stop there, where my arse begins!’, ’A march of shame!’,” remembers Lavrikovs. The
counter-demonstrators had put themselves in the way
of the march, formed a human chain, or sat down in
the middle of the street, in other words, did everything
to stop the demonstration. As the police did nothing
to protect the marchers, the parade was dissolved quikkly. “They threw eggs and tomatoes at us and even
used tear gas. Eventually, we were forced to flee into a
church,” so Lavrikovs. At least none of the demonstrators were severely injured.
More serious was the end of a homosexual demonstration in Russia in May, 2006. The government hadn’t
sanctioned the demonstration and thus violated international agreements. When the organisers took the
streets anyway, they attracted the attention—and hate—
of thousands of nationalists. “Moscow is not Sodom!”
or “Homos out of Russia!” were two of many slogans
and at the harmless end of the scale. Boris, a security
agent, was quoted saying “One should simply kill off
the gays.” While the police tried to push the hordes
of skinheads back, a small group managed to break
through the lines and attacked the demonstrators. Two
of the injured were German Green Party MeP Volker
Beck and Pierre Serne, a militant environmentalist.
Both had travelled to Russia to support the local gay
movement.
27
The situation in Latvia and in Russia are no exception
in Eastern Europe. A majority of the Belarusian population present hostile views towards the growing movement for homosexual rights: “47 percent of Belarusians
would like to see homosexuals put into prison,” says
Svyatoslav Sementov, active member of the Vstrecha
organisation. He deduced the statistic from a study by
the Belarusian League for the Equality of the Sexes.
Organised religion has not helped alleviate the situation in Eastern Europe. Pope Benedict XVI had, in his
time as cardinal, publicly expressed views opposed to
homosexuality. “The legal structures beneficial to the
creation of homosexual cohabitation are contrary to
good reason.” He called on Catholic parliamentarians
to openly make their opposition to such laws known.
Today’s pope sees homosexuality as an “anomaly”: a
‘sin’ that ‘violates rules of chastity.’
The Catholic church’s radical position regarding
homosexual practices has found large following in
Poland’s political elite. Polish politicians have even
turned the heat up a few notches when it comes to homophobic statements and policies. “If one person tries
to infect another with homosexuality, the state must
intervene and take measures to prevent this attack on
personal freedom.” – Kazimierz Marcinkiewicz, former
prime minister.
2006 saw a high official of the Education Ministry
suspended from his duties for distributing ‘Compass,’
a pamphlet printed by the European Council intended to sensitise youths to the problem of discrimination. His successor, Teresa Lecka, lost no time in positioning herself: “Homosexuality is not in accordance with
human nature [...]. We will not tolerate this indecent
behaviour in our schools. The aim of a school must
be to differentiate between good and evil, between the
beautiful and the ugly [...]. The school must explain
that homosexual practices invariably lead to drama,
emotional emptiness, and degeneration.”
In the run up to an ‘Equality Parade’ in Warsaw, Polish
parliamentarian Wojciech Wierzejski called for physical violence against gays and lesbians: “If the perverts
are so keen on marching, we should beat them up with
clubs.” According to Amnesty International, a march
near Poznan led to a confrontation between militant
supporters of the homosexual movement and the
neo-fascist Allpolish Youth ‘Mlodziez Wszechpolska,’
the official youth organisation of the governing party
Liga Polskich Rozdin. Some members of the Allpolish
Youth called for the extermination of gays and lesbians. Shouts could be heard, calling for ‘gas the gays’ or
‘we’ll do the same to you as Hitler did to the Jews.’
28
Considering the hostility emanating from society, Eastern European gays face high hurdles if they choose
to live their sexuality. Statistics elicited by the ILGA
(International Lesbian and Gay Association) as to the
percentage of gays and lesbians in the ten new member states of the European Union make clear that up
to 50 percent emigrate. The effects of discrimination
can be felt in the family, at school, at work, in the military, but also in hospitals or in church. More than 40
percent have experienced bullying and more than one
in five have been the victims of physical violence. 25
percent of homosexuals in Romania, Slovakia, and Slovenia stated that, after reporting violence to the local
police, these refused to cooperate.
In the majority of Eastern European states, violence
against homosexuals is not the exception. Homophobia is rooted deeply in the institutions of police
and army. An ILGA report quotes a young Romanian:
“During my military service, I was raped by three of
my officers [...]. After they were done introducing me
to ‘the pleasures to serve,’ they obviously decided to
teach me a lesson in sex as well.”
Whoever is now giving Eastern Europe a disapproving
look should remember that times in which public expressions of homophobia were common in Western
Europe more recently than one would like to think.
In 1960, a representative of the government in French
parliament, Paul Mirguet, held a clearly homophobic
speech: “I think it’s pointless to hold long discussions,
as you are all aware of the scourge called homosexuality, a scourge we must protect our children from.”
Around that time, the parliament voted to introduce
a new category in criminal law: “scandalisation in the
form of an unnatural act with a person of the same
sex.”
“Until the end of the 1970s, the media and the public
silenced this topic to death,” remembers anaesthetist
Jean-Michel Bonnet, who comes from a small, French
provincial town. He has joined 46 percent of French
homosexuals and moved to Paris. Bonnet, in his mid
fifties, joins his compatriots on the high end of the
income scale. “If I wouldn’t have been gay, I’d probably
still be living in the country,” he muses. “Homosexuality used to be a totally taboo topic.” Only at the end
of the 70s and the beginning of the 80s some interest
groups – notably the Emergency Committee against
the Suppression of Homosexuals – started garnering
public interest for the movement. “When I moved to
Paris from the country, we lived like the first Christians, with special codes and meeting points. Our bars
all had tinted windowpanes.”
29
Over the course of the last two decades,s everything
has started moving. From the decriminalisation in
1982 to the solidarity pact in 1999, the situation for
homosexuals in Paris has continually improved. “In
the meanwhile, Paris has the Marais-quarter and a gay
mayor. There is a noticeable feeling of normalcy in
the air, which is very comforting for me. But one must
remain watchful. A minority is always a minority. And
one just needs to look what is happening in religion’s
name to understand that this situation is not a given,”
so Bonnet.
Even if homosexuality is increasingly accepted by family and friends, life is still not easy for gays and lesbians. Young French homosexuals between the ages
of 16 and 39 are 13 times likelier to commit suicide
than heterosexuals in that age group. The French homosexual movement is pushing for an improvement
in the legal status of homosexual couples. Areas such
as marriage, adoption, taxes, inheritance, and policies
concerning the uniting of families: many sources of
discrimination still exist. “The next big step would be
an equal legal status. The fact that I’m gay is a private
matter, like religion or eating habits.”
Bonnet confirms that, in his daily routine, he no longer feels discriminated against. He wishes that homosexuals from the former Eastern Block could soon say
the same. He is hopeful, though: “Eastern European
countries are just discovering their many facets, be it
in religious or sexual matters. If you travel to Prague
these days, you see many positive changes. One doesn’t
have the feeling it’s all that different from Paris anymore.” The Parisian wants the fight in the name of homosexuality in Eastern Europe to continue in joint campaigns: “Get involved! Unite! Exchange ideas! Travel
to the West! And, most importantly: Europe provides a
chance – so go ahead and take it!”
www.mag-paris.org/magazette.
30
M.L.f.E
Author: Björn Richter
Photo: Carl Berger
Translation: Adam Chrambach
My Longing
for Europe
Rediscovering homesickness on a
continental scale: sharing a wistful
pride.
It has become late in Capetown. The Table
Mountain is slowly shrouded in thick clouds. I pull
myself from the vista and turn back to my host, Jan.
He takes a nip from his wineglass; we talk about life
in Europe and Africa. Jan is a well educated South
African with Boer ancestors. Even though his country
is the most beautiful in the world, he raves about
the metropolises – Berlin, Paris, and Vienna – he has
visited over the last few years. “When I was in Berlin
recently, I noticed the pulse of life there. One could
really feel it.” He tells of nightbuses, of cafés that stay
open beyond midnight, of clubs, of career options,
the relative freedom compared to life in Capetown.
Since then, I have given Jan’s words much thought.
Am I also so positive about my hometown, Berlin?
I am happy here, even proud of the place, but it’s a
feeling that spreads out beyond the city boundaries.
This must be a longing for Europe.
The last time I was overcome by such a feeling was
during a trip to the French Pyrenees. I spent a few
days with friends in a small village full of crazy people wanting to get away from society. It was somewhat
like Capetown. I was looking at the mountains and
letting my thoughts wander and, suddenly, the feeling
gripped me: this strange longing for Europe.
The feeling is difficult to shake. In the following
weeks I was surprised how many people immediately
understood when I tried to explain it. Igor from
Moldova travelled to New York and discovered it.
Kata from Budapest felt it during her law studies in
Constance. Vegard from Oslo took diving lessons in
Vancouver and longed for home in a way he never
had before. Even Vitaut from Hrodna in Belarus felt
it: it’s not like normal homesickness for your own four
walls, your friends, your own bed. Imagine a wistful
pride. A funny feeling that neither my parents nor
grandparents ever experienced. “Child, it’s wonderful
that you’re able to travel so much. Take the chance
and live for the moment.”
They don’t get it. I don’t want to just travel, experience, consume. I want to immerse myself in this feeling, want to feel at home anywhere on my continent.
Igor, Kata, Vegard, Vitaut, and I speak about similar
issues concerning our studies, we like similar music
and deal with the same relationship troubles. This is
intimacy in the making.
Suddenly, I know how if feels to cheer for FC Porto’s
victory in the Champions League, to headbang while
‘Lordi’ sweeps the Eurovision Song Contest, or to meet
everyone and his brother at the Sziget-festival in Budapest. Then add hours of Skype-conference debates
while producing a common European magazine – it
all feels a bit like Europe.
Don’t get me wrong. I’m not the kind of person to go
all lightheaded when someone calls Europe a ‘bastion
of peace.’ This is a given for me. I know I am not
alone in demanding more than this. Our generation
is not whiny, we act. We’re not politicians in Brussels
who paste together makeshift guidelines instead of
creating lasting visions. The last few years have seen
a generation move to the forefront, one that sees
Europe as an idea you can live.
31
Pinup Thought
Stick it! Long established in the
Netherlands, the organisation Loesje
aims to reshape public expression
through extensive poster campaigns.
They have now gone Euro, no facade
is safe anymore.
As the white-collar hordes ebb and flow to and from
work morning in and evening out, do you ever get
the impression that public space is ignored in the process? Apart from an occasional glance at billboards or
traffic signals, few use transit time for the essence of
free moments: observation and reflection. Zoom back
to 1983, Arnhem, Netherlands, where strange posters
start showing up around town. They flout positivistic
messages, dare you to take the time to read and think.
Almost 20 years later, the posters and Loesje as an organisation have found their way into most of Europe.
What started as a purely Dutch phenomenon has gone
international, and yet the process remains as simple
as it was at conception. Arrange a few young, critical
minds around a large table and get out the paper and
crayons. Usually a gigantic pot of stew is included in
the process. Then everyone starts a mad frenzy of creativity, putting down any random sentence containing
a soupçon of sense. Two hours, plenty of arguments
and bowls of stew later, a few posters have survived
the gauntlet of critical discussion. The messages are
then multiplied through the internet, the intention
being to ‘stick’ as many as possible. Sticking is a delicate process. Choose a wall or other handy public
surface, the more visible the better. Pray the owner isn’t
watching and complete the rite of paper and wallpaper
glue. Remove yourself silently and with utmost speed
and again pray that many people catch a glance of the
poster before some enemy of public expression decides
to remove it. The thrill lies in the invasion of an increasingly privatised public space. The intent is to ferment thought in its purest form: the puzzled ‘huh?’ at
discovering an unknown object—and message—in an
environment your subconscious has long memorised.
Only the trained eye will recognise the perfect poster
with its touch of subtle meaning coupled with a clever,
funny phrase. And yet the poster is only perfect if it
catches the untrained, passing eye.
Poster tip: If you’re too busy or fearful to stick posters
yourself, you can now still enjoy a poignant message
now and again. Loesje allows you to include a miniposter on your website, which is renewed every month.
Check it out at www.loesje.org
Author: Adam Chrambach
Photo: Razzo Campanelli
1990
1991
1993
1994
Belarus declares its national sovereignty on July, 27th.
Soviet Union becomes Commonwealth of Independent States
Lukashenko claims to be the only
one in the Supreme Soviet to vote
against it
Lukashenko elected as chair of
anti-corruption committee of parliament
Lukashenko wins the first presidential elections and becomes
president on July 20th
1996
1999
2000
2001
70 of 199 members of the Belarusian parliament sign a petition to
impeach Lukashenko on charges
of violating the Constitution
Lukashenko organises a referendum for new constitution. United
States and European Union refuse
to accept it‘s legitimacy.
During Kosovo War, Lukashenko
proposes a Slavic Union consisting of Russia, Belarus, Ukraine,
and Yugoslavia. The plan doesn’t
last.
May 7th, Opposition activist and
former Interior Minister Yury
Zakharenko disappears.
September 16th, Opposition leader Victor Gonchar and his associate Anatoly Krasov disappear
July 7th, Television journalist
Dmitry Zavadsky working for
Russian Public Television ORT,
1994-1997 personal photographer
of Lukashenko, disappears
Lukashenko is re-elected on September 9th, Western states criticise the elections, Russia accepts
them.
2003
2004
Iraqi officials not welcome in the
United States after the first Iraq
war are given Belarusian passports
for travelling around the world.
Lukashenko holds referendum
that allows unlimited re-elections
and wins. Western states criticise,
Commonwealth of Independent
States (CIS) say no significant violations took place
2006
2007
March 19th, Lukashenko wins
elections. The OSCE (Organisation for Security and Co-operation
in Europe) doesn‘t accept them,
CIS talk about open and transparent elections.
The following days, 10.000 demonstrants protest against the
elections. Young people camp in
overnight on October square. Protests stopped by authorities.
Russia halts its deliveries to Belarus of energy for prices under
market value.
March 25th, Dan Voli, liberation
day. Large demonstrations are announced.
March 25th, Dan Voli, liberation day. Thousands of people
demonstrate where opposition
leaders Milinkevich and Kozulin
give speeches. More than 1000
demonstrators are arrested.
July 13th, opposition leader Alexander Kozulin is convicted for
5,5 years.
September 16th, 10.000 people
gather on October square to commemorate the disappeared people.
The authorities do nothing.
Missing Father
A Belarusian leader disappears mysteriously.
His daughter takes her mourning and commemoration public. Europe’s last dictator is faced
with a blue jeans revolution.
“Dear friends, this is my father, Anatoly Krasovsky, this is his friend Viktor Gonchar. On the 16th
of September 1999, their lives have probably...” I initiated my speech on the 7th anniversary of my father‘s
disappearance with their pictures right behind me.
10.000 people were watching me. They gathered to
commemorate the memory of my father and the other
3 “disappeared“ people of Belarus at this Big Jeans
Fest on a sunny day in Minsk at Bangalor square. I
saw sympathy in their eyes, support, solidarity; I felt
somehow excited. Six years ago, my mother, me and
only two others travelled here to Fabrichnaya street,
to commemorate where my father had last been seen
a year before.
36
During every commemoration of those who disappeared in Belarus , I asked myself: how many people
would come today? I was afraid that I’d find myself
alone on the street. The speech at the Big Jeans Fest
Missing Father was so exciting, because these people didn’t forget and
attended regardless of the disfunctional public transportation , as usually happens when there is a demonAuthor: Valeriya Krasovskaya stration or protest against Lukashenko. The students
Photos: Charter97.org
and school pupils attended regardless of their extra activities, such as a sudden cleaning of the campus. This
was, to some extent, a happy day for me, if one may use
this word in such a situation of uncertainty.
I remember the night my father did not come home
as if it was yesterday. I woke up at four in the morning
and saw my mother in the kitchen. She had not gone
to bed yet. I asker her what had happened and whether
Dad was home yet. She negated, and said that his and
Viktor’s mobiles were off. She told me to go back to
bed and that everything will be alright. It hasn’t been
that since then. In the morning we called the police.
They showed no eagerness to cooperate . I had to go
to university My mother contacted some friends of
my father and Viktor and went to the place they had
an appointment the evening before: a public bath on
Fabrichnaya street. Pieces of glass belonging to a Jeep
Cherokee, the car my father was driving, were found
at the place of incident, as well as traces of blood later
identified as Viktor Gonchar´s.
Valeriya Krasovskaya
It is hard to explain what I felt during those days. The
complete understanding of what had happened came
to me much later. I had not ever known that a human being could have disappeared without a trace; I
could not comprehend it. My mother, my sister, and
I were waiting for Dad to come back. We thought the
strange situation would be resolved soon. Only after
some years I started to doubt whether my father would
come back.
We decided to transform the yearly commemoration
to a monthly one in September 2005, the same month
that youth leader Nikita Sasim waved his blue jeans
shirt in the air. These jeans became a symbol of revolution that spread beyond pure commemoration. Sasim
became so popular among young people that the government felt forced to take measures. Five days before
the elections of March, 2006, Sasim was arrested and
held for three months without trial. He was thus not
able to organise young people. The first court hearing
was planned for May 4th.
What happened to Anatoly Krasovsky and Victor Gonchar?
1999 was a year of bitter confrontation between the government of Alexander Lukashenko and his opponents,
as a considerable number of Lukashenko‘s opponents
closed ranks.. Three years before, Lukashenko held a
referendum to modify the Belarusian constitution. He
intended to increase his power over the country and to
extend the length of his term in office to seven years.
International observers stated that the referendum did
not conform to international standards and the opposition did not recognise the outcome.
Anatoly Krasovsky, missing
That the meeting on September 16th 2006 was not
forbidden or prevented by the police must have been
due to the negative attention heaped upon Lukashenko
after the tent-protests in the March of 2006. These followed the flawed elections and, later in March, 1000
people were arrested during the Den Voli demonstration on independence day, the 25th. No one dared to
forbid the commemoration. There were posters all over
the city, banners in the internet, stickers on lampposts
and so on. Permission or not, this was going to happen, as some must have feared repeated negative atention. At the moment, everyone in Belarus has heard
of our marches on the 16th of each month. You can
find grafitti with the number 16 in Minsk. We have
organised events in other countries: in Poland and the
United States also on a monthly basis, and other events
in Lithuania, Estonia, Russia, Ukraine, the Czech Republic, France, Sweden, Belgium, the Netherlands and
others.
This Big Jeans Fest was also exceptional, as the police didn’t arrest anyone as they usually do.
One month earlier, I was visiting
Minsk on the 16th, the monthly
day of solidarity. I arrived at the
scene of a planned event across
from the Russian embassy. Some
people were standing there,
among them a friend of mine.
She said I had just missed it.
Four buses with police had arrived a few minutes earlier and
taken everyone along. She could
not finish her story. Four further
buses pulled up, full of men in
camouflage, ready to arrest the
rest of us holding our peaceful action. Everyone tried
to run away, including me. But within a few seconds
I realised I would not be able to escape. Those men
were many times bigger and faster than me, and the
hatred in their eyes was closing down. I decided to
stop. As they didn’t expect this, they ran after the others without going after me. I had survived, this time at
least. The entire evening, I received phone calls from
worried friends who had heard from the media that I
had been among the arrested.
The attention reminded me of a lengthy article dedicated to the the disappearance of my father. It appeared five years ago in an extremely popular tabloid,
“Komsomolskaya pravda.” A large photo of my mother
and me was printed above the article. After its publication, I first experienced strangers approaching me on
the street speaking words of sympathy and regret. They
recognised my face and felt a need to express their
solidarity. But there was also another kind of experience due to the article. Once, I entered the supermarket Centralny, eating an apple I had bought elsewhere.
I was immediately confronted by a security guard, who
claimed I had stolen the apple. Not listening to my
explanations that my apple was obviously different
from the ones they sold, he called the police. Together,
he and policeman spent six hours threatening me and
telling dirty “jokes”, such as: “now you’ll see what will
happen to your smart face” or “we have the whole night
to play with you.” They had recognised me from the
article and used whatever means they had to show who
was in power. I knew they would
not dare to do anything to me
except talking. What made me
really sad was the knowledge
they would never be punished
for depriving me of my freedom
for those long hours.
No one
dared to forbid the commemoration.
Back to the Jeans Fest. After I
and other opposition leaders,
including opposition leader
Alexander Milinkevich, spoke,
a big rock concert took place.
Musicians are usually deprived
of performance possibilities in
Belarusian locations due to a
perceived lack of loyalty to the
regime. Many people were there who I hadn’t seen in
an age, among them a highschool classmate of mine,
Denis. He had been arrested and sentenced to a 15 day
imprisonment for taking part in the tent-protests following the March 2006 elections. He used to be such a
calm person, few really knew him; then suddenly I see
his name in the media. He had been arrested on the
square like so many others. He had gone into hunger
strike during his imprisonment. It dawned on me: this
quiet classmate was one of us!
According to the old constitution, presidential elections should have taken place in 1999. The former
parliament had been planning to hold presidential
elections, ignoring the dictates of new version of the
constitution. New presidential elections after five instead of seven years would not only threaten the position of president Lukashenko, but also would prove
the new Constitution illegal.
Viktor Gonchar, deputy chairman of the former parliament, and his friend, prominent publisher Anatoly
Krasovsky, who partially financed the opposition movement, were put under surveillance
Victor Gonchar, missing
37
At the festival he, told me stories of his imprisonment,
the way people there would tell jokes all the time. A
few days after his release, he even received a bill for his
stay in prison. We laughed at their refusal of his wish
for a discount, as he hadn’t touched their food. He later
told me he paid the fee to not get into further trouble.
Foreign human rights organisations reimbursed some
of the 1000 arrested, but, unluckily, he was not among
them. The 40 dollars he paid is a lot here in Belarus.
Denis lost 15 kilos during his hunger strike and had to
be treated by a doctor afterward. He didn’t think it safe
to tell the reason for his weight loss. He told his doctor
he had starting dieting, but that he had decided to go
off the diet again.
38
Most of the participants of the Big Jeans Fest were
dressed in jeans. Jeans shirts were waved in the air like
freedom flags. An hour before the end of the Fest, the
electricity was shut off. The official story was that an accident had happened, but I know the police had meant
to annoy us. People continued to sing together in the
dark, they lit candles and even lit fireworks. At the end,
the musicians, among others Krama, Neiro Dubel, and
Tovarish Mauzer, appeared on stage and sang popular
hits through megaphones. One song commemorated
to my father ended with the words “There are people in
camouflage in our city but Belarus will soon be free!” I
couldn’t have said it better.
and their telephones bugged. This surveillance and
telephone bugging officially ended on September 16,
1999 – hours before Viktor Gonchar and Anatoly Krasovsky disappeared.
The law enforcement agencies started an investigation into the case; however, all known evidence has been
collected by volunteers. This includes windscreen fragments of Mr. Krasovsky‘s car used that day found on
Fabrichnaya Street in Minsk, Traces of blood were also
discovered, identified as Mr. Gonchar’s by an independent expert examination.
Commemoration on september 16th, 2006: Opposition leader Alexander Milinkevich calls for a free Belarus (left picture).
From the year 2000 onward, the United Nations has
issued several resolutions ordering Belarus to investigate the disappearences, the last one on November
2nd, 2006. As of yet, nothing has happened.
“Lukashenko
has never kept
a promise“
39
Jeanine Hennis-Plasschaert is a member
of the European parliament for the Alliance
of Liberal and Democrats in Europe (ALDE).
She’s worried about the position of the European Union towards Belarus. Indigo asked her to describe the situation, and what
actions the European Union should take.
„Until recently, the situation concerning Belarus
was quite clear. Dictator Alexander Lukashenko has a
firm grip over the country and enough power to keep
the weak and divided opposition under control. He
managed to suppress the protests in March, 2006 after
the clearly falsified elections. He kept a strong position
within his own political elite and manages to frustrate
opposition leaders. Non-state newspapers cannot be
distributed, parties are repressed, and opposition activists sit in jail.”
„With massive economic support coming from the
direction of Russian president Putin, the Belarusian
economy was more or less stable. Alexander Lukashenko considered himself to be the best friend of Putin.
And, although the West firmly rejected Lukashenko as
a ‘negotiation partner,’ it was divided on the approach
to be taken towards Belarus as its energy supplies and
(much more) are at stake..”
Wrong horse
„Things have changed due to the oil- and gas conflict between Putin and Lukashenko. Moscow is less
and less willing to subsidise Belarus through, for example, extremely low gas prices. The fixed roles have
therefore changed and all players are now taking up
new positions. Lukashenko is suddenly of the opinion
that Putin gives him too little respect and is therefore
not longer striving for a Union of Russia and Belarus.
Lukashenko, on his own conditions of course, is now
even ‘flirting’ with the EU. In an interview, he said: ‚I
learn quickly. I backed the wrong horse.‘ These recent
developments awakened hope amongst some European leaders that perhaps now Lukashenko will become
reasonable. In my view this is, however, a dangerous
thought. Lukashenko has never kept a promise and
will never do so. The only motive behind his actions is
to secure his own position.”
Increased pressure needed
„It is therefore extremely important not to be fooled by
his supposedly ‘good intentions.’ It must be clear that
activists, opposition organisations, journalists, representatives of trade unions etc. are still repressed and/or
in jail. Freedom of speech does not exist in Belarus.
Following the logic of Lukashenko, the West should
recognise him as a full partner without insisting on
conditions such as freedom and democracy. If the West
were to be seduced to do so, we would in fact support
Lukashenko in maintaining his personal power. As a
start, the European Union should increase pressure on
Lukashenko to release political prisoners, following
the lead of the Council of Europe. For now, Belarus
denies holding any political prisoner. The Council of
Europe has proposed an investigation. The outcome of
the investigation shall be binding for Belarus. However, the Council of Europe is still awaiting the answer
to this proposal from the Belarusian government. It
would be beneficial if the European Union would be
much louder and stand side by side in its support with
those fighting Lukashenko’s evil regime. However, at
this very moment the EU already encounters difficulties speaking with one voice. National interests are undermining a coherent and decisive approach against
dictator Lukashenko.”
Interview: Joeri Oudshoorn
40
Virtual Insanity
Author: Martin Lafréchoux
Virtual
Insanity
ordinators, avatars from 7 different countries
joined the demonstration. That seems great, if
it weren’t for the fact that merely 120 people
showed up. The protest was only a way to show
some support for a real-world demonstration,
not an event in itself.
Second Life promises a second
identity, the ultimate escape in
imitation, a life within a life. But,
as in the first, this life is loaded
with money-hungry locusts.
In December 2006, the Spanish charity organization Mensajeros de la Paz („The Messengers of Peace“) used Second Life to raise
funds for their cause. They created a virtual
homeless character holding a sign asking people for their money. After a week, the homeless avatar had raised about 30 euros, which
is far from overwhelming. But as their representative said, „the main goal is not only the
money, but people‘s awareness.“ One thing
is clear: whether they come from the virtual
residents or from real world entities, the vast
majority of events in Second Life are in fact
PR operations in disguise.
At the end of December, the Front
National (FN) the most prominent French farright party – advertised the opening of its new
headquarters in Second Life, an online universe
in which anyone can create avatars, objects, and
buildings. The extremists did not find much
sympathy there. According to American journalist Wagner James Au, „after the Front National took root, at least two groups, antiFN
and SL Left Unity, rose to oppose them. They
had placards and T-shirts, and billboards on
the land of sympathetic neighbours, all making plain that FN‘s arrival in Second Life was
distinctly unwelcome.“
Second Life allows users to create objects and
deeply interact with the virtual environment
and that includes destroying other objects. As
could be expected, the demonstrations quickly took a rather hostile turn. First there were
gunshots, which escalated to explosions and
constant gunfire, and then „one enterprising
insurrectionist created a pig grenade, fixed it
to a flying saucer, and sent several whirling
into Front National headquarters, where they’d
explode in a starburst of porcine shrapnel,“ remembers Wagner James Au. The fights went
on for a week until, on the 15th of January, the
entire FN building had disappeared.
At first glance, this would seem like great news:
in the virtual world, no one supports extremists and people from all over the world unite
to kick them out! Although the Front did not
actively canvass votes in SL, they did receive
much free publicity. The story was featured
in numerous newspapers in France and many
other countries.
Public Relations
This is what Second Life is all about: public
relations. On January 27th, American Second
Life usergroup Netroots organised a protest
against the war in Iraq. According to the co-
European SL users:
France 12.73% • Germany 10.46%
United Kingdom 8.09% • Netherlands 6.55%
Spain 3.83% • Belgium 2.63% • Italy 1.93%
On January 29th, Sweden announced,
to the surprise of many, that it intended
to open the first ever virtual embassy in
Second Life. The move did not come from
the Swedish Foreign Ministry but from the
Swedish Institute, a promotional institution. In fact, the so-called embassy does
not offer visas or any official service; its
purpose is to inform Second Life residents
on Sweden and to give the
country a modern image.
Big business
If Sweden is the first
country to be represented in Second
Life, many corporations have already held meetings or opened
outlets there. Following the example of such major
firms as IBM or Adidas, the Dutch bank
group ABN opened a
branch in Second Life
in December 2006. It
does not yet offer any
banking service, only
“financial advice.“ Since
October 2006, the reputable British news agency
Reuters has a permanent
bureau in Second Life. During the World Economic Forum of Davos, Switzerland, the Reuters reporter managed to complete an online
interview of the CEOs of EasyJet and Skype
as well as several other high profile executives.
The German press group Axel Springer went
even one step further. Since December 2006,
they published a tabloid exclusively in Second
Life, dubbed The AvaStar. Surely, if there are
journalists then there must be something to
report? There isn’t much, really. The AvaStar
does not sell very well. In contrast to the feverish business and PR activity, Second Life
has a surprisingly few users. Over 3 million
users signed up, but according to the Guardian only 100 000 are considered active users
and spend a significant amount of time in the
virtual world.
In February, Second Life editor Linden Lab announced on its website that, for the first time,
30 000 users were connected at the same
time. But given that the acreage of Second
Life is greater than the city of Munich, it
must have felt a bit empty. These figures
only show that the corporate presence in
Second Life is not about the creation of a
virtual market. Corporations open stores
and hold events in the virtual world because Second Life offers them an easy way
to get media coverage for products that
would otherwise be ignored.
Focus on the users
They can achieve this because Linden Lab has
managed to get many journalists to write about
Second Life. The key factor is the
in-game money. Second Life
uses “real money“, in the sense
that there is an exchange rate
between in-game and real
world currency. In May
2006, Second Life resident Anshe Cheung was
on the cover of Business
Week for being „Second
Life‘s First Millionaire“.
Though Cheung comes
from Germany, her company is based in China;
it creates and sells virtual
property in SL, and already
employs 23 people. But a
quick look at the official
SL statistics shows that less
than a thousand SL residents
earn more than 100 euros a
month and that only about a
dozen earns more than 1000
euros per month.
nwn.blogs.com
rootscamp.pbwiki.com
lindenlab.com
terranova.blogs.com
getafirstlife.com
www.flickr.com
There is no doubt that Linden Lab is excellent at managing its own image. When a
rather mean parody of Second Life - called
Get a First Life - was put online, the company
did not try to shut down the website, they
officially gave it their authorization. This surprising move is meant to show everyone how
humorous they are, which, in turn, attracts
more users.
But the hype will not last forever. Ironically,
the Reuters correspondent in Second Life
recently published an interview announcing
the end of it. According to consulting firm
Gartner Group, Second Life is nearing what
they call the „Peak of Inflated Expectations,“
which means that a backlash can be expected
soon.
According to this theory, Linden Lab hopes
to be bought by a larger company before the
buzz collapses. So, for the moment, Second
Life residents are not Linden‘s customers.
They are its product. As for the potential buyers, the Gartner Group analyst Steven Prentice suggests that „Google would be top of
the tree“. The idea is not far-fetched, since
the search-engine giant recently bought an
in-game advertising firm, Adscape.
But it has to happen fast, because the residents are getting increasingly frustrated with
both the poor quality of the hardware (the
game can get very slow) and the constant invasion of PR marketeers. If Linden Lab wants
Second Life to keep its promises, it should
focus more on its residents and less on the
corporations. At the end of February, the socalled Second Life Liberation Army bombed
the virtual stores of Reebok and American
Apparel, asking for more control of the residents over the virtual world. It may soon become a world full of marketers trying to sell
their products to empty rooms.
41
Hey, Baby!
Between pickup lines and smooth
moves – a guide to flirting from the
Baltic to the Bosporus.
Spain
Don’t mess with the Spanish. He’ll go hardcore on
you if even one of your surreptitious gazes should
happen to land on the chest of one of his gals. She’ll
go ballistic if she catches you entwined in a dirty
dance with a mate. Centuries of extensive sangria intake under a searing sun has led to ‘sangre caliente.’
Hot blood allows for steamy love or burning hate,
but not much space for interpretation in between.
Italy
42
Hey, Baby!
Author: Irene Sacchi
Illustration: Anne Buch
They say you have “ham rolled around your eyes” if
you are blind to an Italian advancing his/her flirts at
you. Italian coquetry is as clear as it is honest. They
keep ‘ciao bella’s in their pocket for every occasion
possible. Italian style consists of capital letters and
clear objectives. Boys offer drinks, girls ask for cigarettes. But if you see two boys kissing each other on
the cheek, don’t think that Italian flirt-mania is at
work: this is a perfectly platonic goodbye.
Greece
Everyone knows that the Greeks display their hospitality with hearty Sirtaki dancing and hefty garlic
and ouzo consumption. Their flirting techniques
are less well known. Forget a cheap one liner, the
Greek wants to be floored by your cultural finesse.
Organize a classy theatre evening, tour of the Acropolis or other archaeological gem, or a romantic
stroll. Become a mini Homer or Plato, and you’ll
surely score big.
Poland
Bulgaria
Place a girl on the centre of a Bulgarian dance floor
and see what happens. The ensuing process reminds
of a mild case of Big Bang. She will invariably be
jumped by a whole entourage of prospective suitors
searching for that special night of love. If you or your
friend are not in the mood for all-out battle, then get
yourself invited to a private party. There, girls will be
more confident and males a tad more sane. The music won’t disassemble your eardrum. Throwing your
own party for that special someone? Land a heavy
hint by serving the local flirting vodka.
How on earth is one to flirt in shy, introverted Poland? Number one: choose a place for some crazy
dancing. Number two to ten involve beer. Eleven
should come by itself: the decibels rising in typical
earsplitting, disco fashion. In such a cacophonous
atmosphere, exchanging anything but telephone
numbers or the shortest of messages seriously threatens the survival of your vocal cords. You can rest
assured that the next date will be a notch quieter.
Take him/her to the movies, have a coffee, or head
for a concert with some earplugs.
Switzerland
The Netherlands
The inventors of such lucullian delights such as
fondue or chocolate (or chocolate fondue, for that
matter) must be good flirts. This is a small country
with a reputation for shy inhabitants when it comes to dating. This unfounded myth (have you ever
seen how the Swiss hold their drink!) might stem
from foreigners not employing the proper code: Ask
a Swiss belle or beau for a meal and you’ll get dinner and only dinner. Now ask them to an Indian or
other exotic meal and watch the evening go spicy
before you know it.
The Dutch, whose singles seem to migrate back and
forth from Europe’s camping sites, have opened up
a new alley for that flirtatious approach. If you go
to a ‘Singles-supermarket’, you buy stop that wicked
thought! No singles for sale here! Singles-supermarkets offer an easy, quick lunch for one person.
That doesn’t mean you aren’t allowed to lean over
the edge of the table and ask where your neighbour
spent their vacation.
43
Portugal
Germany
What happened to gender stereotypes? In a pub, a
girl walks up to a guy and buys him a beer. The next
day, the same things happens in a café over a coffee.
This isn’t a nymphomaniac revolution. But Germans
are difficult when it comes to first approaches. You
will need all your intelligence and a witty tongue to
crack the code, as the coffee is just an excuse. They
focus on conversation; if you pass the chat test you
might even be able to buy the beer next time.
Belgium
If you have plied your trade in southern or eastern
Europe, you’ll be used to marching into a bar and
marching right back out with someone on your arm.
In this case, Belgium is a cold, foggy shock. With
this tactic you’ll end a long night drunk and mumbling obscenities at the waiter. Yes, I’ll have another
beer... So what do you do? Accept that the locals are
difficult and take a language course. Here, integration is supreme and will land you a date in no time.
It’s a myth that all perfect gentlemen walk around
flouting fancy English accents. Welcome to Portugal, the land of men opening car doors for women,
the country of a helpful hand with a woman’s jacket.
The trick behind the secret behind the recipe: everyone is treated to such affability. If you`re really on
the must-pick-up list, they’ll pretend to confuse you
with someone else. So beware those bogus confusions on the street.
Turkey
Turkey is for professionals. If you’ve read carefully
and tried your hand (or tongue) in those countries
suited to novices, you might have a chance here.
Take your time and plan a strategy. First, you’ll need
to fall into favour with the target’s parents, special
care must be taken with the father. Then scout the
surroundings. In Turkey, lessons or friends’ houses
are a common place of meeting. Perhaps he/she
goes to university. In that case, speak to the professor and see if you can sit next to your project in a
class or two. Within four or five years, you’ll start
cracking the outer shell and might start hoping for
a secret moment to meet. Then again, the situation in Turkey – especially in the cities – has been
changing rapidly over the last few years. It might be
more fruitful to wait.
44
Li ve Slow, Die Old
Author/Photos:
Silvia Cravotta
Translation: Irene Accardo
Live Slow,
Die Old
Europe has found its fountain of youth: Silanus is one of four villages on the world
where people grow older than anywhere
else. Their secrets? Something like Sheep,
Luck & Olive Oil.
Longevity has never been so simple. For centuries, men have trekked across the globe in search of
the elusive fountain of youth. Catch the next flight to
Sardinia and the prize is yours. Perched in the heart of
the mediterranean island is the village of Silanus, at
first glance a village like any other, 2,300 inhabitants,
a few houses huddled around a couple streets. Yet one
can read history from the lines in these people’s faces.
Talk to Michele Mura and the furrows facing you spell
out stories of work and weariness. Yet, his words glow
in their relaxed lack of regret.
Tiu Micheli (‘Uncle Michele’), or so the villagers call
him, is wearing pants that flutter around his thin legs,
oversized rubber boots, and a bright green coat. The
sky arches over his flock of sheep. Everyday, he takes
his animals to pasture and, on the side, cultivates a
small vineyard. Michele is 83 years old. “The country
air is my medicine,” he confesses, also admitting that
he feels like he’s in retirement, as he relies on the help
from his son these days, despite his remarkable youth.
Another hardworking resident, Tonino Cola, is the
baby of the group at age 77. His daily routine includes
an early start to tend to his donkey, sheep and cattle.
He follows their search for green for kilometres and
often spends his nights in the open, as he is afraid that
thieves might decimate his herd. “There must be passion in what a man does, even when there are jobs to
do” explains Tonino, who reminds of an ancient knight
in search of adventure. As he unfolds his lunch parcel,
he tells of the diet the island provides him with: meat,
cheese, and ‘nieddu,’ a red wine he produces himself
alongside his garden vegetables. With the introduction
of the Euro and its markets, many locals decided to
start producing vegetables from their gardens. And
from here the elixir to longevity sprouts under the mediterranean sun. A diet heavy on fish, vegetables and
whole grain bread is worlds away from preprepared and
prepackaged fare. Here, memories work like clockwork:
Torino speaks for hours about the genealogical trees of
his relatives, relates the adventures of his uncle, a pilot
in the Second World War. Cigarettes? Not many, only
when times are tough. Medicine? Even fewer and only
when he really needs them. The strongest medicine
the village has ever seen is a simple antibiotic.
Silanus is, in many ways, like any other municipality
on Sardinia. It rose to international fame when scientists from the National Institute for Aging in the
USA identified it as a world longevity hotspot—along
with the Japanese island of Okinawa, the city of Loma
Linda in California, and parts of Costa Rica. No clear
explanation exists as to why this village has more centenarians and 90 year olds per resident than anywhere
else in Europe. According to a European set of statistics, Silanus would have to be five times larger, if
one goes by the average number of ‘dinosaurs’ walking
these streets. Whereas the rest of the planet has one
male to every four female centenarians, here the men
hold a decided advantage: twice more than the average
elsewhere.
Quiet lives free from the sickness of stress, food pulled
from one’s own land that requires daily care, exertion
that couldn’t be more different than jogging or the
gym: perhaps this is the magic formula for a century’s
worth of health. But could it be that genetic factors are
just as influential as the active life of these grandfathers
and –mothers? The isolation of the village’s and the
island´s gene pool, could in part, explain the general
long life of the residents of Silanus and Sardinia as a
whole. Scientists from the University of Sassari are testing this theory in their project, coined AkeA – from
45
the traditional Sardinian expression a kent’annos, ‘into
one hundred years’.
“Of course the genetic factor is important,” states the
town councillor for culture, Gigliola Congiu, over a
plate of local, sheep’s milk cheese, Pecorino, “but don’t
forget that, especially during the war, food has always
been precious and people live austere lives. But, most
importantly, everyone here is surrounded by relatives,
making them feel wanted in society.”
The social ambience of the village inoculates residents
against loneliness, a scourge of the metropolitan elderly. A hospice wouldn’t have a chance here. Francisco
Nieddu, former mayor and founder of Pro Loco, an
institution organising cultural events and activities,
has is own theory to the local ruggedness. He speaks
about natural selection, as the 80 and 90 year olds
have in younger years all survived the malaria formerly endemic in the area.
He says people are physically stronger and more resistant to disease and is not sure his children will be able
to follow in their footsteps. Children are paramount
here, and age doesn’t stop parents caring for their little ones. Stefano Cossu is said to have a child’s face,
merely a few creases run down his 93 year old face.
He has just finished helping his son Andrea with the
sheep in the barn, when he arrives to perform with his
other son, Angelo. Both sing canto a tenore, a Sardinian polyphonic chant declared a cultural heritage by
UNESCO.
The unbelieving bystanders watch as he leans on his
kitchen table, singing with a strong, deep voice. The
presentation seems to prove that longevity is in the
mind. Another shining example of this is Andreana
Penduzzu, 95. Sitting in front of the fireplace in her
black dress, she wouldn’t seem a likely candidate for a
punch line or disarming joke. But she jokes with visitors and adoring children and grandchildren alike.
Sardinians are typically energetic, but this lady would
make thirty year olds jealous. She says it is her grandchildren keeping her alive year after year. “Of course
genes are relevant for a long life,” explains Claudia
Hennig, president of the German section of the European Society of Anti-Aging Medicine, “but the difference between not being able to walk at 70 and a
healthy old age lies in your lifestyle. Basically, growing
old is like saving money for your retirement: the earlier you start living a healthier life, the less effort is
required when you’ve reached old age.” Surely this is
a good suggestion and an easy one to follow in a village like Silanus. The trick will be to transfer such a
lifestyle to the metropolis, amid smog and the fastrhythmed life we lead. Are we up to the challenge?
The answer should come around in about a century
at the latest.
Europe is going white. Old Europe leads the
world in the proportion of elderly. Time is
stopping for no one: while 15.9 percent of
the European population was over 65 in
2005, this number is expected to rise to
27.6 percent by 2050. The value the increased number of elderly add to society comes
with a commitment. The growth of costs
in social and health services grows as the
percentage of the working population sinks.
The European Union obviously wants to
keep its seniority occupied and productive.
To help grandmothers and grandfathers feel
like the spring chickens they once were, the
EU has launched ElderGames, an initiative
to improve mental faculties through play.
Going
Multilingo
The genius and the failure. Why learning languages is torture to some and
a walkover for others. Is your brain
up to the challenge?
For ten minutes you’re explaining to the receptionist that your shower curtain needs replacing. You
still mix up clumsy gestures with ready-made phrasebook formulas when your girlfriend comes to the
rescue. In three irritating, perfect sentences, she sorts it
out... again. The same frustrating story repeats throughout the holidays. Whilst you labour to put together
replies of more than two words, she has befriended
the entire holiday resort and her language skills have
risen to a whole new level. This is so unfair, you cry. It
undoubtedly must be due to that string of dreadful teachers you endured throughout your school years. Or
is it because your parents could never afford to send
you on those language exchanges?
„At the end of the day, maybe I am a failure at languages?”
Is there such a thing as innately talented or untalented
people? Katrien Mondt, a linguist at the Vrije Universiteit in Brussels, believes that any motivated student
can learn a language if the circumstances are right—in
particular if the environment is favourable and allows
the language to be employed frequently. Take, for instance, adopted or immigrant children: most if not all
acquire near-native skills. But why do some adults,
despite being immersed in the same environment,
struggle to acquire a second language, while your
girlfriend finds it dead easy? Michael W. L. Chee, at
the Cognitive Neuroscience Lab of Singapore Health
Services, believes that ‘phonological working memory’ (PWM) could be a determining answer. PWM describes a short-term capacity system that allows us to
store and repeat new, unfamiliar sounds. In contrast,
permanent, familiar sound patterns are stored in our
long-term memory. PWM is located in several areas of
the brain—for instance, the area responsible for rehearsing sounds without pronouncing them can be found
in the ‘Broca’s area’ and the phonological storage area
in the left inferior parietal cortex. According to Chee,
the larger your PWM capacity is, the easier you’ll find
the development of a vocabulary base, and in turn,
your foreign language acquisition. Yet, it is hard to
tell whether a large PWM is consequence or cause of
easy bilingualism and this theory is criticised by other
researchers in the field. It can only be part of the explanation, as a number of intricate factors are at play:
whatever your ‘talent’, motivation and usage, among
other things, are also key.
Going Multilingo
Author: Tania Rabesandratana
Illustration: Verena Brandt
47
„I don’t know how large my phonological working memory
is, but I know my dad says I should be grateful for his
talent, which he sees as a hereditary gift.”
Katrien Mondt, a researcher at the Vrije Universiteit in
Brussels, allowed Indigo a first-class experimental peep
into her latest investigation of the bilingual brain.
Obviously, genetic factors must be involved in language learning the same way they influence our entire
development. These factors function in combination
with what is referred to as our ‘environment’, i.e. the
elements that surround us at different points: our culture, our exposure to the language, and others. Not
Mondt works with three groups of people: early bilinguals (those who learnt their second language at
a young age), late bilinguals, and monolinguals. She
tries to determine if and how their language performance is linked to their maths performance. One
of her most striking findings is that early, balanced
bilingual children are better at arithmetics than monolinguals. She is now carrying out a similar study
with adults and agreed for me to be one of the ‘late
bilinguals’ of her sample.
The experiment takes place in the Erasmus Hospital in Brussels, as it requires the use of a special
scanner for functional magnetic resonance imaging
(fMRI). With this technique, Mondt visualises the
activation of neurons in different areas of my brain
while I perform a series of tasks.
Cédric the lovely MRI technician, gives me a dowdy grey pyjama and giggles when I come out of the
changing room in my frumpy outfit. Suddenly, I’m
no longer a young journalist, but another mildly frightened guinea pig. Such is the power of clothing.
In the meantime, Mondt details the three types of
tasks I have to perform, which appear on the screen
during the scan:
Language: generate verbs from a series of nouns;
Attention: press the button if the word on the screen
is the same as the name of the actual colour of the
letters;
Maths: press the button if the result of a sum is correct. Piece of cake, or so I thought.
Cédric then leads me to the white MRI machine
and gives me huge earphones to wear: “because of
the noise.” What noise? As my body slides smoothly
into the machine, I imagine myself the heroine of a
science-fiction movie.
The experiment starts, so does the noise. UNEXPECTEDLY AND OVERPOWERINGLY LOUD.
It first feels like my head is trapped in a fire alarm.
Then it reminds me of the inside of a washing machine.
You know those TV quiz games? You score all the
bonus points when answering the questions from
the comfort of your sofa, but in front of the cameras
it becomes downright daunting. Same idea applies
here. Once you lie down in that tube surrounded by
so much noise, matching blue with blue or 2 + 3
with 5 actually does represent quite a challenge.
On the other side of the window, Mondt checks
what I answered correctly and of my brain. This way,
she can see which areas of my brain I activate to
process the tasks. Later, she will compile the data
for all three groups and compare the activation patterns. In the end, she hopes to be able to characterise
our cognitive strategies and to better understand the
bilingual brain.
The experiment takes about an hour and inevitably my body is itching at all the wrong times and in
all the wrong places. I wonder if Mondt can see it
when my mind wanders off and if that will affect my
score. Apparently though, it all went well. I left, tired
but unharmed, and proud to have made a small
contribution to neurolinguistics.
48
only your parents’ knack for languages but also their
attitude to foreign cultures are partly responsible for
your language abilities.
„Anyway, it’s surely too late now?”
To cut a long story short, no, it isn’t too late for you.
In principle, anyone can learn a foreign language at
any age. Much has been debated towards the idea of
a cut-off age, after which children cannot acquire a
good command of a language. The end of this ‘critical’ or ‘sensitive period’ is controversial, though. Some
scientists see the age of 6 or 7 years to be the turning
point, while others identify puberty as the defining
moment. All in all, “this idea is now obsolete for most
psycholinguists,” says Philippe Mousty, a researcher at
the Université Libre de Bruxelles. “There is no such
thing as a brutal change in performance level at a certain point in life. What we see is a gradual, continuous
decline in language learning abilities with age,” Mousty continues. In short: the earlier you start, the easier,
but it’s never too late to begin.
„Fair enough. Maybe I could learn that language. But
there’s no way I’ll get the right accent.”
The later you start learning a foreign language, the
stronger your accent will remain. Our brain keeps maturing from birth onward; for instance, the location
of a particular function can shift from one area of the
brain to another to recover after a trauma, or as a consequence of repeated learning. This plasticity allows us
to learn all of our lives, but brain maturation does not
happen in a uniform way for all language functions.
Vocabulary and grammar functions usually remain
intact late in life. Phonological functions —the representation and production of sounds— degrade faster.
This could explain why young learners acquire accents quickly, whilst older people often retain a strong
accent. But who cares if you speak with an accent?
As long as they don’t leave your speech completely
garbled, accents are cute anyway.
49
„And why am I never able to roll that Spanish ‘R’ properly?”
A child can perceive all kinds of sound at birth. After a few months, this capacity to perceive sounds and
contrasts decreases. “Different people don’t pronounce
sounds in the exact same way and as we grow up we
learn to recognise these slightly varying sounds as one
by eliminating irrelevant variations. Whilst we do this,
we also lose the capacity to perceive new things, such
as foreign sounds,” Mousty explains. Thus, native Japanese speakers, for instance, have trouble differentiating
between European ‘L’ and ‘R’ sounds, because this distinction is missing from the Japanese language. But of
course, you can still train your pronunciation to some extent.
„That’s all very well, but however hard I try, I’ll stay a
boy. Boys are never as good as girls at languages. See
how my girlfriend babbles away with the villagers effortlessly?”
“In general, girls do fare better…but it’s not that simple,” warns Mousty. The female and male brains do
develop differently, yet the ensuing interpretations can
be laden with sensitive undertones. Boys and girls have
a different pattern of use of their left and right brain
hemispheres when they perform a linguistic task. This
means they often adopt different cognitive strategies,
but doesn’t tell us how well these strategies work in
practice. And here it is again tough to distinguish ‘innate’ characteristics from the influence of the environment. Among these influences, the traditional social
roles and attitudes ascribed to women and men weigh
heavily. “In the 1970s and 80s, several American studies in socio-linguistics showed that women had more
influence on language changes, mostly a beneficial
one,” Mousty recalls. “There were also authors arguing
that women are more at ease with interaction and communication tasks, and men with language production.”
But cheer up: even if there are demonstrated ‘gender
effects’ on language, not all of them are favourable to
girls.
„Whatever. Whether girls or boys, those people who are
gifted at thousands of languages truly depress me.”
„Hey, and what if I become really proficient in a foreign
language… Could I forget my mother tongue?”
Once you learn one foreign language, it is definitely easier to learn a second or third one. “The competencies you develop when learning one language are
transferred to others. It’s like training a muscle,” according to Mondt. The practice of switching from one
language to another certainly slows down the negative
effects of age on the brain and its learning capacity. Ellen Bialystok, from York University in Toronto, showed
that active bilinguals had a delayed average onset of
Alzheimer’s disease—four years later than monolinguals. This goes to show that regular exercise is good for
the brain and in particular that language practice is a
good workout.
Yes, it is possible. Christophe Pallier, a French researcher, showed that Korean children adopted by French
families at a young age displayed no language difference to native French speakers. What’s more, these
children have no specific brain activation when presented with linguistic elements specific to their mother tongue: they have forgotten it. In a different vein,
Mondt has studied children in situations of submersion, such as immigrant children who go to a school
where they must speak a new language. After a time
„If I do improve, will I ever THINK in a foreign language?
That’d be so cool.”
50
„Ah, that’s a vast philosophical question,“ remarks
Mondt. “Do we need language at all to think? Or do
we think through pure concepts, images, sounds?”
In principle, one can think in another language, but
this ability depends on many factors and one’s level
of proficiency. Do words in different languages represent identical concepts, or do we think through our
in the new environment, these kids require more time
and effort than before to perform tasks in their mother tongue. “It creates bilingual people that are not
balanced, and that’s definitely not a cognitive advantage,” Mondt notes. In your grown-up case however,
the degradation of your mother tongue is not very likely— native languages in adults are on the whole more
stable than in children.
„Actually, I do get better at languages sometimes… When
I’m drunk.”
strongest language? Thierry and Wu have carried out
an experiment at the University of Wales to elucidate
this mechanism in late Chinese/English bilinguals.
The participants were asked to indicate whether pairs
of English words were related in meaning. They were
unaware that some of the word pairs, though unrelated in meaning, concealed a repeated character when
translated into Chinese. When they came across these
‘trick’ word pairs, the Chinese native speakers had a
longer reaction time than the English native speakers. The
researchers therefore believe that the Chinese speakers
unconsciously translated into Chinese while reading
English and thus took longer to process the information. ‘Unbalanced’ bilinguals—bilinguals who have unequal levels of proficiency in both languages— generally use their
strongest language to perform certain tasks, such as counting.
With heartfelt thanks to
Katrien Mondt, Philippe Mousty
and Bram Vanderborght
As strange as it sounds, this does make sense. Alcohol doesn’t affect competence, but does lift those inhibitions that usually slow down your practice and
thus your language acquisition. “Maybe extroverted
people move forward faster than people who dare not
speak, just because ultimately they practice more,” says
Mondt. Accepting that making mistakes is a part of the
learning process is definitely cheaper, less noxious and
probably just as effective as caipirinha. So go on and
ask the receptionist about that shower curtain. You
have nothing to lose but an ounce of linguistic pride;
the earnest endearment of the locals is yours to earn.
To find out more about Katrien
Mondt’s research, check out her personal webpage:
http://homepages.vub.ac.be/~kamondt/
Happy Greetings from...
Chernobyl
Long ignored by the tourism industry,
this hotspot is glowing with a new
influx of hardy travellers.
Disaster tourism 20 years after the occurrence:
Three Americans, four Ukrainians, and I leave Kiev in
a small white van. We’re headed for the 30-kilometre
zone surrounding the former nuclear power plant of
Chernobyl. Our local guide works for the Ministry of
Disasters. A serious, squarely-built man with a moustache, he wears army fatigues and trainers. He smells
of sweat and doesn‘t like questions until he’s finished
talking. We’re seated in his cheerless office with an old
bakelite telephone and yellowing wallpaper, listening
to a one hour monologue about the biggest disaster
regarding a nuclear power plant ever, the infamous
Chernobyl meltdown on April 26th, 1986.
After this introduction, our guide takes us to the abandoned city of Pripyat. It was built in the early 1970s
as a Soviet model-city where life was good. A giant
Ferris wheel still stands, a teddy bear lying in front of
the dilapidated ticket booth. We enter an apartment
block. Signs of looting are everywhere; even the kitchen tiles have been removed. In the late eighties, radioactive furniture from places like Pripyat was sold
on Ukraine’s black markets. It’s likely that, up to this
day, thousands of people are cooking on extremely radioactive stoves or resting their behinds on a highly
radiating couch.
What surprises me about ‘the zone‘ is the overwhelming presence of nature. In the place of former Ukrainian potato and cabbage patches, I see nothing
but meadows and young forest. A dead silence reigns,
even birdsong is absent. All buildings have been abandoned and are derelict. At the entrance of an empty
apartment building, a mature tree has worked itself
through the asphalt pavement. My Geiger counter
starts clicking alarmingly as I hold it over the moss
www.pripyat.com/en
www.chernobyl.info
covering large patches of asphalt and concrete. Moss
seemingly retains a lot of radiation.
Several days after the disaster, more then 200.000 peo- Happy Greetings from...
ple were evacuated from the area around Chernobyl.
At the time, they were told they would come back wi- Author: Florence Tonk
thin a few days. Some never returned, others only af- Photo: Martijn de Vries
ter 18 years. At the moment, around 2000 people live
in the polluted villages within the 30-kilometer zone.
They have returned because of homesickness for their
fields and their spacious farmhouses. Mostly old people have chosen to return. They say they don’t mind
the radiation and that whatever time they have left on
this earth, they’d like to spend at home.
After our visit to Pripyat, the van takes us to
the power plant. The melted reactor number
4 is packed into a concrete sarcophagus hastily built after the disaster. My Geiger counter
clicks like never before this close to the ill-fated
spot and our guide restricts our stay to five minutes. At the end of the tour, we’re offered a hot
lunch in the office of the Ministry of Disasters. A grumpy woman brings us four courses
of chicken soup, cold meats, mashed potatoes,
cabbage salad and pudding. The Americans
in our company play with the food on their
plate, ashamed. They are afraid the food is contaminated, but my appetite is larger than my
anxiety.
Travel information:
- In Kiev, many organisations arrange guided tours
to the 30-kilometre zone
around Chernobyl. The cost
decreases with the number of people in your group.
For one person, a trip costs
around 300 US dollars, for
six people the price goes
down to around 100 US dollars each.
- One must book a tour to
Chernobyl approximately one
week ahead due to the official permissions required
from the authorities.
- The controlled 30-kilometre zone is a two hour drive
from the capital Kiev.
I‘ve been to Chernobyl. At the last checkpoint,
we have to pass through a steel contraption that
reminds me of the device that created the Frankenstein monster. Here we have to get tested
on the radioactivity we’ve accumulated. Everything seems to be within the normal range.
A guard holds a special Geiger counter to the
tires of our bus: not contaminated. We head
back to Kiev and a mere kilometre beyond the
checkpoint, I see a babushka bend over her potato patch. By the side of the road, women sit on stools,
selling buckets of freshly picked blueberries and raspberries. What is the difference in regard to radiation
levels between this place and the securely locked and
controlled 30-kilometre zone? No one can answer that
question.
www.tourkiev.com/chernobyl.php
www.newlogic.com.ua/en/services/tours/chernobil
51
Lost in
Translation
When a Lampadato travels along the
Weißwurstäquator – Every so often,
you encounter a word in some language that takes a journey to explain..
52
Lost in Translation
Author: Frida Thurm
Illustration: Nina Weber
Translation: Isabel Georgi
Kweesten (Netherlands): Henry Reed
Stiles wrote a book in 1871 mentioning a
strange form of romance practised on Dutch
islands. She would leave windows and doors
open at night, yet hides under her covers. He
arrives, and without sneaking a peek, talks
to her in the hope persuasion’s powers will
win her over. Today’s internet crowd spells
it ‘Queesting’ and the free-loving Dutch
have long erased it from their vocabularies.
Whoever uses it, the word remains singular
in both meaning and self control.
53
Uitwaaien (Netherlands): 3000km of
levees cannot change this phenomenon.
The wind in the Netherlands has been
upending tulips and bikers since the
dawn of time. Not only windmills profit
from bluster: People in Holland go for
strolls in this windy weather and call
that uitwaaien.
Lagom (Swedish): If the Viking drinkinghorn allowed everyone lounging at the table
to take a generous sip, they would speak of
Laget om. The term has changed slightly
over the centuries; however, the Swedish
preference for the happy medium is unabated. Lagom has come to mean not too much
but never too little.
54
Talkoot (Finnish): When those pesky
elks block roads again or whenever the roof
of the local kindergarten needs repair, citizens of a Finnish community meet for a
Talkoot. This means uncomfortable work
that needs some communal attention. Of
course, this couldn’t happen without the
customary eating and drinking or scrubbing the dirt off in the sauna afterward.
Ølfrygt (Danish): Snow descended onto the Viking longhouses; the cold oozed in through window frames. However,
inside, in toe-tingling warmth, beer glasses chinked Skåll! in
unison. It’d be a perfect party if not for a paralysing fear tormenting the guests. This Viking word, literally translating as
‘ale fright’, has taken the world by storm: Ølfrygt, the fear that
one might run out of beer.
Esprit d‘escalier (French):
“Well,
uhm, mh.” Whenever that nasty secretary
again drops a hint on your short skirt, you
are absolutely unable to come up with any
answer but for a puzzled grin. The adequate tit-for-tat response only comes to mind
when you’re already on your way downstairs.
– Fifty steps too late to prove your wit.
55
Koshatnik (Russian): Whoever travels
through villages like Nishnij Nowogorod
better bring his or her own bread. If you arrive famished and desperate for a bite, make
sure to steer well clear of anything or anyone
titled ‘Koshatnik.’ What might sound like a
convenient take-away owner to untrained
ears, is actually a seller of stolen cats.
Lampadato (Italien):
Every country
has the type. Jogging trousers, hair dyed an
obnoxious blonde, an eye-catching car with
platinum rims. Their most important trait
is, however, that perfect tan, even in regions
and seasons where the brown could easily
be mistaken for rust. The Lampadato knows
to help himself and doesn’t miss a session in
his favourite tanning booth.
56
Yakamoz (Turkish): “Darling, look how
the moon is mirrored and reflected by the
silvery sea…” Some lovers might already be
asleep or have fled the scene in disgust, a
true romantic might wish for a shorter term
to describe his beloved phenomenon. A pity
if this person does not speak Turkish, as then
the matter would be settled in one word.
Evgi, ask, sevda, tutku, karasevda, hoslanmak, di vane (Turkish):
“You know it’s not that I don’t love you, but
sometimes I love you while I love Tina, all
at the same time...” Confused? Maybe you’d
prefer to continue this discussion in Turkish
– every kind of love has its own denomination in Turkish.
Weißwurstäquator (German):
The
Weißwurst—a lightly coloured sausage
made of veal and bacon-- just celebrated its
150th anniversary. This silly sausage has also
created a serious geographic phenomenon.
The Weißwurstäquator divides Germany
into two. In the south, especially Bavaria,
they eat it for breakfast. In the north, many
think that sucking cooked veal out of a pig’s
gut topped with sweet mustard is a crime
(northerners normally don’t sweeten mustard, but that’s another story). No consensus exists on where the boundary runs, but
you’ll be hard pressed to find people who
go both ways.
57
Cold Style
War
Prejudices abound in this battle
between an Easten sexbomb and
a Western powerbabe. Stiletto vs.
Sneaker, take to the ring.
58
Cold Style War
Author: Julia Fuhr
Marzena Lesinska
Photo: Ralph Pache
Translation: Adam Chrambach
I’ve worn that much colour, I was five and flouting Indian’s war paint! But the feathers in my
hair wouldn’t compete with the extent of your
high-carat decorations. I’d feel sorry for a Christmas tree, carrying all that around. Take a look
at the sky? No sun, right? Then what the devil
are you doing with those sunglasses – especially with lenses that could pass for dinner plates.
Your makeup makes such a thunderous impression that a hurricane would run and hide. Don’t
you think that the last of your weekly visits to
the hairdresser ended a shade too blonde?
Your hair is so light I have to close my
eyes perfect moment for a thought:
Why the masquerade? Do you really
think you can calculate the value of
a woman in the height of her heels
At least I‘m always given due warning. The
unmelodious clicking of your stilettos is a warning of what is to come, and my eyes won’t take it.
Please stop. I know one should steer well clear of
prejudices and stereotypes. Political correctness
is good for some, but allow me a tiny flirt with
the stylish antagonisms between Eastern- and
Western Europe. There’s an ominous clicking on
Europe’s streets. You, my dear Eastern European
women, have been happily prancing across Western European asphalt too long now.
What’s the thing with the pointy, skybound footwear? A javelin thrower worries me less. Your
thin, naked legs in those caricatures of shoes prove that well roasted chicken doesn’t just come on
a plate. Who cares about the skin, what on earth
do you think you’re doing to the energy crisis? If
you’re not willing to be scanty here, then at least
be consequent. Minimalism might be cool when
it comes to art, but that shred wrapped around
your ass can’t really pass as a skirt. And what’s the
point of a ‘handbag’ which fits nothing but its
own lining. Oh, I forgot that there’s Prada pasted
on the front. You like generous labelling, don’t
you, it makes you feel good about yourself in
your pointless world.
The amount you save around the middle and
bottom you pile around the top! Leopards, tigers, snakes, and other fauna, you could go as
a walking lesson on advanced zoology! All that
creeping and crawling, it’s the biodiversity of the
textile industry copulating with pink satin and
black lace.
If there were a prize for tasteless exaggeration,
you’d take every category. The section on clothing is yours, hands (and cleavages) down. And I
haven’t even started on that multicoloured paint
pot you dive into every morning. The last time
times cup size? As you blame us Western European gals for the world’s antistyle, Lady, try
stepping into our blunt but stylish shoes and
take a good look in the mirror—although you do
that already. Style requires not superlatives but
the perfect dose. I have nothing against fashion
accessories of any kind, as long as I feel good
beneath them. Away with the scratchy leopardskin, I want my own skin, not his – and not
every square inch of it presented for public
inspection. I’m sexy without a miniskirt.
We women haven’t fought long and
hard for emancipation for it all to go
in a puff of powder smoke. And as
clichéed as it sounds: true beauty glows from the inside.
True beauty glows from the inside – you
wish! It might be that inner values are
highly regarded. But what’s a pretty product without a selling point?
You know the joke about there not
being an ugly woman, just a lack
of wine? If I look at you Western
Europeans, I have to admit that
no amount of vodka is going to
remedy this situation. Wherever
I look, inconspicuous wallflowers
from here to the horizon.
want to know when your hair has seen a drying
hood from the bottom. What’s the problem in
making the best out of technology? Sunbeds and
home-trainers are there to be used. Your stupid
ascetic antics are not an excuse. Your cheeks are
screaming for rouge. And if eyelashes could write
wishlists, yours would have Mascara in the first
line, in bold. And what about that formless cloth
bag that you pretend is a jacket. Twelve year olds
don’t make the style-bloopers you do, and you’re
a grown woman. What were you thinking? Have
you forgotten the meaning of style sense?
The problems start with the footwear: shoes without heels might be
comfy, but I might consider taking
them to my aerobics class. My little brother wears foxier jeans than you
You’re spastically running after your own authenticity; now I understand the meaning of the ugly
running shoes. Lady, wake up to the fact that your
personality won’t suffer from being presented in
a full package—and looks are a part of that. With
you, I have to say in all respect, those looks come
across as unspectacular and unfeminine. I’m
pretty sure that style wont survive your steady attacks. You say one scores in being natural. Could
you imagine a woman might want to show what
she’s got? You’re always so big on emancipation.
Then don’t let your femininity be stolen like this.
Use your weapons! A little more cleavage, a little
less cover-ups, ok? Sexy, not unisex. Deal with it,
dear, a book is, in the end, judged by its cover.
Top 5
European Countries in Clothing and
Footwear Expenditure, in % of total
2004 household Expenditure
and my Yorkie more jewellery.
Your favourite colour must be
washed-out (if not washout!) and
your tops are odious to look at.
Face it, babe, there are collections
that go beyond cotton T-shirts in
three colour possibilities and way
beyond the standard, five-pocket
jeans. Obviously your poor choice
of labels is only made worse by your
general aversion to shopping.
Do you live by the maxim: spoilt for choice and
choices spoilt? I don’t understand the point of
walking behind a gargantuan handbag that could
easily pass for a shopping bag. From a style point
of view, just don’t go there! Your head is topped
by a “I don’t need a trim” haircut. And I don’t
Greece
10.1
Italy
8.2
Portugal
7.6
Latvia
6.9
Estonia &
Austria
6.7
www.eurostat.eu
59
Imprint
60
Editor in Chief
Ingo Arzt
Art director:
Herman Radeloff
Photo directors:
Ralph Pache, Carina C. Kircher
Translation management:
Susanne Wallenöffer, Irene Sacchi
Organisation:
Hans Maria Heÿn, Jona Hölderle, Björn Richter
Chief Editors languages:
english
Adam Chrambach – [email protected]
spanish
Carolina Pirola – [email protected]
polish
Zuza Szybisty – [email protected]
phone: +48 663 728 472
french
Tania Rabesandratana – [email protected]
Etienne Deshouliere
italian
Irene Sacchi – [email protected]
dutch
Joeri Oudshoorn – [email protected]
phone: +31 6 454 72 961
german
see below
indigo editorial office
Dolziger Straße 39
D-10247 Berlin
tel: +49 174 967 55 50 (Ingo Arzt)
fax: +49 30 420 262 75
Editors and authors:
Silvia Cravotta, Jochen Markett, Valeriya Krasovskaya, Frida
Thurm, Martin Lafréchoux, Heike Schröder, Katharina Lötzsch,
Miriam Frömel, Björn Richter, Florence Tonk, Chloé Belloc, Aaron
Schuster, Julia Fuhr, Marzena Lesinska, Michael Schnackers
Illustration / Retouching / Layout:
Maria Messing, Maik Wiechmann, Christoph Mayer, Benjamin von
Zobeltitz, Nina Weber, Anne Buch, Christoph Mayer, Verena
Brandt, Jan Steinbach
Photos:
Mikula Lüllwitz, Wil van den Dool, Martijn de Vries, Annet Voskamp, charter97, Joab Nist, Marcelle Jamar, Carl Berger, Razzo
Campanelli, Verena Brandt, Irene Sacchi, Joeri Oudshoorn, Silvia
Cravotta
Titel:
Ralph Pache, Carina C. Kircher, Benjamin von Zobeltitz
Translation:
Diana Kaniewska, Piotr Kaczmarek, Karina Wojas, Robert Karsznia, Zofia Bluszcz, Maria Zawadzka, Victor Hugo Scacchi Forieri,
Alessandra D’Angelo, Jorge Teunissen, Elke Zonder, Irina Dinca,
Roberta Penna, Daniela Castrataro, Marco Riciputi, Giorgio Regoli,
Michael Schnackers, Helmer van der Heide, Mark Petimezas,
Bart van Bael, Irene Accardo, Elise van Ditmars, Amber van der
Chijs, Jorge Teunissen, Nele Bulckaert, László Huszar, Marina ter
Woort, Melissa Valso
Contributors:
Talia Delgado, Ingela West, Alba González Sanz, Vasilis Psichoyios, Timo Burmeister, Marcela Maidaniuc, Marko Andrejic,
Jana Wriedt, François Angaer, Ali Egilmez, Christoph Suter, Laura
Casielles, Stefan Kägebein, Tomek Szczesniak, François Gaertner,
Rumen Dimitranov, Ulla Kaja Radeloff, Rainer Burggraf, Niels
Richter, Carl Berger, Dana Radloff, Loesje.org
Thanks to:
Anne Richter, Doeko Pinxt, European Youth Press, Cafébabel.
com, Forum for European Journalism Students, Plotki, Lutz, Karol
Krzyczkowski, 25xEurope.com
INDIGO NEEDS SUPPORT! ADVERTISMENET AND PUBLISHING HOUSE EXPERTS WELCOME
Beating Poverty
World number one DJ, Paul van Dyk, has scratched
more than the surface of the world music scene and
beyond. Now, he sits down for a turntable tete-atete: speaking out for social justice.
Indigo: New York – Stockholm – Shanghai
– being a famous DJ, you have seen the entire world
from its bright side at night in the clubs, as well as
from its dark side in the streets at daylight.
Paul van Dyk: That’s true. I have seen the slums of Rio
de Janeiro, Sao Paulo, or Mexico City on my journeys.
My first incentive, however, came from my first show
in Mumbai, India. Since that, I have really been trying to tackle the topic of child poverty. The misery
I saw is simply not acceptable to me. So I contacted
the German consulate on site at once to find a charity foundation. For me, Akansha seemed to have the
most effective concept. They have their own schools
in the slums, but their top priority is to provide food
for the kids. Akansha enables children to have access
to education and therefore offers a chance for a better
future.
62
Beating Poverty
Author: Miriam Frömel
Photos: Harry Schnitger
Verena Brandt
Translation: Bart Schere
Indigo: However, child poverty is not only a topic in
threshold countries like India. UNICEF recently published a report on that topic showing a shocking result:
in wealthy European countries like Germany, Great
Britain, or Italy material wealth levels are declining.
Paul van Dyk: Yes, Germany still is one of the richest
countries in the world, but if only the people who
are really in need benefited from our social security system, enough money would be available for our
children. I do not want to polarise, but I am saying
that as I have already done some charity work.
Indigo: With your own charity project Rückenwind
you support children in your hometown of Berlin.
Can you actually compare the situation of children
here in Germany and in India?
Brown, caffeinated soda = CocaCola, self-sticking slips of paper = Post-It Notes,
Electronic Music = Paul van Dyk – some brands have gone global and become terms
of their own. Born in 1971, Paul van Dyk grew up in East Berlin and has become one
of the most popular DJs and music producers. Apart from being awarded with the
Best Producer of Techno- and House Music (British DJ Magazine), most popular DJ
2005 and 1006 (Top 100 DJ Poll at DJ Mag) and a nomination for the Grammy 2005
in the category Best Electronic/Dance Album, he has received the Landesverdienstorden (order of merit) from the city of Berlin. When he’s not at the turntable, he
invests time and money in social and political projects. He has founded Rückenwind,
a childrens relief project. Through the American initiative Rock the Vote he called for
youths to make use of their opportunity to vote. Van Dyk’s last Album, The Politics
of Dancing 2, appeared in 2005. His club remix of Justin Timberlake’s new single,
What Goes Around...Comes Around, is currently in store shelves.
Paul van Dyk: It is another kind of poverty. There are
always people who say that it is much worse in India
than here in Germany. You cannot compare poverty, as
a person can only be considered poor in respect to the
subjective circumstances of life.
Indigo: So, against this background, who can be considered poor in Germany ?
Paul van Dyk: For example, we at Rückenwind found
that a lot of families have neither a computer at home
nor access to the internet. However, teachers often say:
“See what you can find about this topic in the internet
and write it down.” So, of course, children do not want
to admit that they are poor, so they just claim they
did not do their homework and get a bad mark. Our
priority, however, is to give those children the feeling
that they mean something to us. If you think that you
are nobody you do not have any incentive to learn
anything.
Indigo: Akansha in India, Rückenwind in Germany,
Ground Zero Kids in the U.S. – these are just a few
organisations supported by you. With your packed timetable and being a famous DJ, do you actually have
time for all these projects?
Paul van Dyk: Well, I am only part of a team in these
projects. What could I really offer to these kids as an
individual, besides being the clown or playing with
them? Of course this is also part of my work, but we
need trained pedagogues. My true role lies in the areas of investment and ideas.
Indigo: What was your last specific idea?
Paul van Dyk: We are planning to go to the countryside
with two mini buses together with the kids so that
they can see a real cow, a real pig, or real trees – and
not only those dirty things they usually see here in
the city.
Indigo: But at least Berlin awarded you Landesverdienstorden (city merit of order) for your commitment
last year – given all your music awards for best and
most popular DJ, is this only another award for your
trophy cabinet or can you still enjoy this award?
Paul van Dyk: Of course I enjoy receiving awards, but
awards are not the driving force for me to do what I
do. For example, I would never change a single note
to get an award.
Indigo: Despite your success, you do not rest on your
laurels but care about new artists in this field. You
support young and interesting artists with your own
label, VANDIT Records. So who is actually interesting
for you?
Paul van Dyk: The field of electronic music is not that
different from punk music; there are some great bands
and many bad ones. I would rather not talk about the
bad ones now. However, I am really enthusiastic about
Santiago Niño at the moment. He has roots in Guatemala, but is now living in Colombia. As Santiago is a
real expert in electronic music, he joined me on my
last tour through South America.
Indigo: And what about European artists?
Paul van Dyk: Eddie Halliwell or Adam Sharadon from
Great Britain have made great songs. However, with
the internet it no longer matters where you’re located.
Compose a song in some village and it might become
a global hit. It is no longer relevant to be in hotspots
like London or Barcelona. It’s about the same question
as: Where is your favourite club? For example, the Gallery in Turnmills in London is an excellent event, but
if you asked me whether this is a cool club, I would
say no as it is badly built. The layout is completely inappropriate. Then again, look at an event we organised
in the Kesselhaus in Berlin. The special thing about
this location is there’ll be a classic guitar concert the
day before our show – you cannot say that it is always
good or always bad. Electronic music is a global phenomenon that has its roots in Europe. But you can
find people from all over who deal with this genre and
are enthusiastic about it.
Indigo: Your last record, which was a compilation with
other artists, was called The Politics of Dancing 2. So
are you tackling political phenomena with this title?
Paul van Dyk: I regard electronic music as being a powerful means of connecting people from completely
different historical, cultural, or religious backgrounds
We should consider the number of diplomats that
would be necessary for such a positive effect to set in.
Indigo: Could you name an enthusiastic party?
Paul van Dyk: The whole summer season on Ibiza is
great. Ibiza is in Europe, but it is not only interesting
from a European point of view. You can find people
from anywhere there. Partygoers from Beirut would
never light fireworks with some from Tel Aviv. On Ibiza, the god you believe in is not a topic.. It’s all about having a nice day
and chatting with a nice person and
not about politics.
63
The Perverts
Guide to
Cinema
64
T.P.G.t.C
Author: Chloé Belloc
Sophie Fiennes’ film homage to Slovenian philosopher Slavoj Žižek (Photo)
uncovers dark secrets from the depths
of psychonalysis and reveals how cinema makes us believe we can handle
the truth.
Auteur Sophie Fiennes has called on Zizek‘s
fantasies for a psychoanalystic insight on cinema. The
Pervert’s Guide to Cinema is Zizek‘s questioning of
cinema through psychoanalysis. He invites the viewer
to ponder what cinema reveals about ourselves. Zizek’s
aptitude lies precisely in that he explains his theoretical analysis through popular culture, especially cinema. His book, Everything You Always Wanted to Know
about Lacan (But Were Afraid to Ask Hitchcock), is
exemplary of this.
Staying faithful to his provocative style, Zizek opens
his guide to cinema with the announcement: “cinema
is the ultimate perverted art: it does not give you what
you desire, it tells you how to desire”. Zizek then starts
his expedition into cinematographic country, unveiling
what Hitchcock, Lynch, Chaplin, Tarkovsky, Kubrick
and others reveal of our dark relationship to the unconscious, the relationship between fantasy and reality
etc.. Regarding sexuality, for example, Zizek asks the
question as to why we need fantasy in order to be sexually excited. Before that he, interprets Melanie’s fantasy
from The Birds. While driving the boat in Bodega bay
the moment she’s about to reach Mitch, she says: “I
want to fuck Mitch.” In this scene, Zizek is filmed as if
he were Melanie, in the same position and look.
Photos: www.thepervertsguide.com
Indeed, Zizek, while lecturing on his favourite movies,
occupies their set. Take another example, when he
explains a scene from Fight Club, where the narrator
(Edward Norton) keeps kicking himself. Zizek explains
in detail that this is not the expression of perverted
masochism, but that in order to resist one’s enemies,
one first must fight against oneself and ones slavery
condition and so on…
Nothing so perverse at the end - except “Zizek’s own
particular brand of obscene enjoyment”. After having
watched The Pervert’s Guide to Cinema, one will never
again see cinema with the same passive delectation.
Viewer passivity comes into question. Cinema, because
of its fictional essence and the distance of the screen,
is safe: it reflects our anxieties and desires while “keeping it at a secure distance, domesticating it,” as Zizek
says. His explanations of Lynch represent some of the
strongest moments of this documentary. Lynch creates
tension in crossing the line into terrain in which we
feel insecure. The documentary ends with an appeal to
comprehend cinema as an essential art in our reality.
Great film-makers are crucial in that they allow us to
confront dimensions of our reality that we are not yet
ready to. Sophie Fiennes succeeds here in turning documentary into performance; the spectator is invited
not merely to watch but to live the perverted art.
It‘s a Bird, it‘s a Plane, it‘s...
Slavoj Žižek
Aaron Schuster interviewed director Sophie Fiennes about her
documentary The Pervert‘s Guide to Cinema, currently playing
on the international film festi val circuit.
AS: How did you develop the idea for this project, and
what did you want to accomplish with it? Also: are you
interested mainly in Zizek or in psychoanalysis and
film theory more generally?
SF: It starts with the aim to better understand something that you feel drawn to... I don‘t know what I wanted to accomplish at the start, except that I wanted to
go deeper into the chosen area and I wanted to confront an audience with it too and making a film allows
for that. There is always a certain amount of risk. I am
very interested in psychoanalysis. I think it holds the
key to something that we need more than ever, if we
are to get a grip on ourselves as a species. I don‘t read
much film theory outside of Zizek (...). As a film maker,
I really enjoy what Zizek has to say about films, for me
it‘s all very practical, theory and philosophy in one. I
don‘t find myself drawn to making the kind of film
portrait of an artist or philosopher where they are put
in a position to talk about themselves with some kind
of pretence of objectivity. I prefer to make a document
of them actually doing what they do.
AS: If I remember correctly, the movie ends with Zizek questioning whether cinema can face the ultimate
truth of desire, or whether it obscures this truth with
beautiful illusions. On the one hand, this comes close
to the Nietzschean idea that “we have art so as not to
die from the truth”; on the other, it also recalls Jack
Nicholson’s famous line from A Few Good Men: “you
want the truth? You can’t handle the truth!” Cinema
seems split between unveiling the real and ideological
obfuscation, a problem more pressing than ever. What
can we expect from cinema today, and what do you
think about the notion that art’s purpose is to reveal
an unbearable truth so that it becomes (a little more)
bearable?
This interview was first published in the Lithuanian
art magazine Interviu – The Quarterly Conversation
about Art.
SF: I like what you have said, and I agree about this
tension within cinema itself. I don’t think it can make
the unbearable bearable. It is what it is…unbearable.
And I think what is unbearable is anxiety itself: anxiety of guilt, meaningless, and finitude.
But perhaps cinema allows us to believe we can
handle ‘the truth’ – and so it helps deal with anxiety.
It gives us ‘Dutch courage’ – a kind of fake belief in
our capacity to bear things. That’s why it’s so enjoyable,
like alcohol. Maybe we should be more humble and
say this fake courage is the extent of our capacity to
endure. We should not be ashamed, but like Beckett’s
heroes, be ready to laugh at our misery and thus release ourselves from unbearable anxiety –through loss
itself. I love what Zizek says about desire being the
wound of reality. And so cinema puts us through a
double blind test. It ‘plays with our desire’ and generates anxiety through this very action, which is why
directors are God-like characters that bring about as
much enjoyment as devastation
AS: “The only good woman is a dead woman” Discuss.
SF: Remember what was said prior to this; that womanly desire is threatening to men… Scottie (from
Hitchcock’s Vertigo) erases Judy’s identity and turns
her into a fictional woman (who is dead but never actually existed), while Judy herself is hopelessly in love
with Scottie, Yet she cannot show it and the only way
she can have sex with him is in her imagination. The
look on her face as she emerges from the bathroom is
full of so much longing and anger; I think this look
is far more shocking than what Slavoj has to say, that
merely reveals this terrifying dimension of the brutality between the sexes.
It’s interesting how literal this image of a dead
woman is in the film. If you think about the scene at
the dress shop, where Judy is on the couch with Scottie…She is not wearing a bra, her voluptuous breasts
are heaving under green cashmere. Pinned to her chest
is a broach of white flowers, so if flowers are some kind
of symbol of woman’s sex, hers is out there for Scottie
to see! But Scottie erases this in favour of the grey,
male ‘executive-suit’ look and the maternal as-goodas-grey hair, pulled back into a bun.
I have a suspicion that this aspect of the theory falls
on deaf ears to the male viewer of the Pervert’s Guide
to Cinema. They hear this line of Zizek and miraculously erase the entire context – but they must wonder
why the female audience enjoys this bit so much. It’s a
great description of the strangeness of men and how as
a woman, we can make a choice to die or not to die. I
think it’s a very provocative statement and rightly so.
AS: What‘s the reaction been to The Pervert‘s Guide
so far?
SF: People really seem to enjoy it. This is very nice for
me, because it‘s twenty hours of solid transcriptionthat
I wrestled with for many months... (...) It‘s amazing how
much the whole line shifts, gets sharper, more threatening, or more exciting deepending on how you cut one
word here or there... That‘s film making. It‘s as if Slavoj
is Christ and I am Saint Paul.
65
Lordi‘s Lair
Bursting into the limelight in 2006, Lordi showed the world that there’s
more to Finnish music than Humppa. Guess what: There’s even more than Lordi.
66
Music
Photos: Mikula Lüllwitz
367
Enochian Crescent Almost Lordi. At least semi-blackmetal-goth sound, just without orc style. Makes up for it
in fame for self-mutilation.
“The shortest performance I‘ve ever done was
when I used a Finnish traditional knife, lapinleuku,
to cut myself. I had to leave for the hospital
after only two songs.”
Wrath, lead singer
68
Kimmo Pohjonen
Famous for his puritan sound and almost spastic dance performances, Kimmo Pohjonen plays
avant-garde and electronic music on accordions.
“I am the urban international masochist slave of
metropolitan desires.”
Tuomas, rapper and songwriter
Giant Robot play a mix of rock, dub, electro and dance
music. “Helsinki Rock City” was the hit in Scandinavia in
the summer of 1999. They have announced a new album
due this spring.
69
“You can li ve a rather peaceful life in Finland
without having to fear that someone is going to
attack you or that this country could end up in
a war.”
Janne, Vocalist
Endstand Intense hardcore-punk with lots of guitar melodies and screaming vocals.
Jimi Tenor Jimi Tenor started with relaxing, ironic jazzy
stuff; today he plays all kind of sax-sounds. Published the
album “Europa” in 1995.
“We are part of your sorry arse.”
Jimi Tenor‘s message from Finland to Europe
Need more proof? Check out the
Funky Elephant at www.funk.fi
The Micragirls Hard Finnish Rock‘n Roll in 50‘s style
– they are also called the new queens of lo-fi trashrock.
Recent CD, “Jungle Run“, is played all over the country.
70
“Finnish citizens had very bad ‘European Song
Contest’–self esteem for a long time, but now
things have changed thanks to Lordi!”
Mari, lead singer
Bushido He‘s every teacher’s and parent’s
worst nightmare. He’s seemingly risen
from the depths of hell to torment their
thirteen year old children with texts
dripping with violence and sex. But
the Berliner rapper has been hired
over to the ‘good side’ and meanwhile
speaks to youths about ‘respect’ and
the merits of a good graduation. In that
case, no one seems to care about his own
premature exit from school or his detention for
assault.
72
Music
Autor: Frida Thurm
Illustration: Christoph Mayer
Translation: Tania Rabesandratana
i fuck ya motha
Rap has its own language to express, let‘s
say, social and political matters. This issue
Bushido (Bu), german rapper, battles Booba
(Bo), french rapper for the title of the ‘worst
text‘ all lines chosen from their songs.
Bu: I’m speakin wit’ experience, wit’ sense in my heart.
Bo: Keep your nose outta my business.
Bu: My paths are dusty, my eyes fill with tears.
Bo: I give urine donations, quench the thirst of the
whole of France.
Bu: You’re gay and sit in the bath with soy cookies
and green tea.
Don’t talk about rap if ya aint willin‘ to bleed.
Bo: Dis sound, dat’s my way to tell ya to go fuck your
motha.
Bu: Yeah, we’re sick pigs, I’ll write you a line
cause’e I busted ya uncle, and y’aunts mine.
Bo: Ok, ok, smokin’ mate, it’s all I gotta do, humiliate,
sweep it off, beat ‘em up, go da business class way.
Bu: I wanna fuck ya motha, gayass, now it’s war.
Bo: You wanna shit on us, get official, Your big shits
are cut in 2, try it in your G-string.
Bu: Now you’re boxin‘ and you’re motha givin‘ me her
ass, yeah!
Bo: I’m in the VIP corner, from the VIP fist.
Bu: You want romance but I fuck wit‘ my fist.
Bo: Catch the bus and suck dicks at the flea market.
Bu: Yeah, I’m spittin‘ blood, cause I bite victims
like ya.
Bo: It’s over for ya, the Yekini crew, I fuck, I fuck,
I fuck you.
Bu: Yeah! Life is an assfuck!
Boopa His more analytical fans describe his somewhat
puzzling, aggressive, and metaphorical lyrics as ‘impressionist rap.’ Elie Yaffa, a.k.a. Booba, was born in
the Parisian suburb Boulogne-Billancourt, but spent
in teenage years in the hiphop hub, Detroit. Meanwhile, the Duke of Boulogne is becoming a bit of a
mainstream talk-show favourite. He retains his street
cred’ by recording tunes with his friends Akon, Cassie,
and P. Diddy, to name a few.
Preparation:
Put the clean brains and testicles into a
casserole dish with water, salt, some bay
leaves, and a dash of white wine. Simmer for 5 minutes. When everything
is cooked, remove from the casserole
dish, chop, and sauté in a frying pan.
Beat the eggs separately. Then add the
eggs to the mixture in the frying pan
and smooth out the surface. Let the
mixture solidify and serve.
Ingredients (six servings)
100g bull’s or lamb’s brains
100g bull’s or lamb’s testicles
extra virgin olive oil
one glass of white wine
six eggs
onions
carrots
pepper
salt
Cooking
the refined
palate
Author: Irene Sacchi
Photos: Claude Dagenais,
Sieto Verver, Matthew Cole
The Spanish answer to Viagra: Tortilla
Sacromonte. Swallow this and liberate your
libido!
and olive oil dressing three days in a row, “to give more
energy and soul.”
The European population grows older, birth rates are
dropping, youths stay at home longer, and divorces
outnumber marriages. At the same time in a smiling
quarter of Andalusia, Spain, life takes the slow lane
between sun, wine, tapas, and flamenco. While the
French experiment with frogs, the Italian with oysters,
the Germans with celeriac, the Poles with beer, the
Hungarians with the blood of freshly slaughtered pigs,
and the rest of the world with those little blue pills, the
Andalusians hoard their little secret.
It all began in the 18th century, in Sacromonte, the
gypsy quarter of Granada, home to artists and artisans.
Every first of February, for the celebration of San Cecilio, the city abbot prepared a lavish banquet to honour the high society of Granada. The night before
the feast, according to legend, burglars broke into the
abbey and pilfered the entire food supply. Searching
the canteen desperately for a solution, the good man
found a bag in which the butcher had left the “family
jewels” of the stolen animals.
He could think of only one recipe on the spur of the
moment. In De Medicamentis Libri, Marcello Empirico recommended eating bull’s genitals in a honey
The priest rolled up his sleeves and hit the stove. He
laid the cleaned brains and testicles into a casserole
dish with water and a dash of white wine. He let the
ingredients simmer for five minutes. He fried sliced
onions, carrots and pepper in olive oil in a deep pan.
He peeled the testicles like one would potatoes and
chopped them into very little pieces together with the
brains. He beat the eggs separately and he added everything into the pan. He left all the ingredients to
solidify like a regular tortilla and served the dish for
dinner.
Did the abbot want to prove to the high society of Granada the miracles of God, to improve the area’s birth
rate or simply please his unaware guests? He certainly
created a recipe with miraculously aphrodisiac qualities, a recipe that was passed down the generations
until it arrived, steaming on our table.
A “Tortilla Sacromonte” is served as a traditional dish
in most restaurants in Andalusia. Especially during
the San Cecilio celebration they go like hotcakes.
Most people say the meat tastes like chicken (what
doesn’t), others see it as an unrivalled speciality.
Whatever its flavour, it remains the case that Andalusia, according to the official statistic from the Instituto
Nacional de Estadística, has the highest birth rate of
all of Spain.
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2 Belgium
15
1
Austria
13
17
12
3 Bulgaria
11
18
10
4 Croatia
9
19
8
5 Germany
7
20 Poland
6
6 Estonia
5
Finland
4
Lithuania
Luxembourg
Malta
Monaco
Netherlands
28 Sweden
14 Latvia
27
13 Cyprus
26 Czech Republic
12 Italy
25 Spain
11 Hungary
24 Slovakia
10 Denmark
23 Slovenia
9 Greece
22 Romania
8 France
21
7
Portugal
United Kingdom
Find each postbox‘s country – no prizes to
be won, but maybe you‘ll recognise one
when you‘re on holiday!
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This magazine was made possible thanks to the kindly support of cafebabel.com.