GENDERSPEAK

GENDERSPEAK
THE LANGUAGE MEN SPEAK IS NOT THE
LANGUAGE WOMEN HEAR
Agenda
Part 1 – Myths and
misconceptions
Part 2 – Major
differences
Part 3 Modifications
Now Pay attention!
You will not
agree with
everything that
is said
.
You may not like
everything that
you hear here
today
Not everything
that is said
about men is
true for ALL men
Not everything
that is said
about women is
true for ALL
women
MYTHS AND
MISCONCEPTIO
NS
MISCONCEPTIOINS start early
MISCONCEPTIONS
MISCONCEPTIONS
MISCONCEPTIONS
MAJOR DIFFERENCES
MAJOR DIFFERENCES
Boys play competitive games with rules
Girtls play cooperative games
MAJOR DIFFERENCES
• When we SAY the
same words we
MEAN the same
thing
MAJOR DIFFERENCES
• We may want the same
result, but express
ourselves differently
leading others to think
that our goals are
different.
Non-verbals differ
MAJOR DIFFERENCES
Conversational
Differences
MAJOR DIFFERENCES
• Expert vs. collaborator
• Critical evaluation vs.
givers of praise
• Report vs. rapport
MAJOR DIFFERENCES
• Disagreements Singular vs. all
encompassing
• Independence vs.
intimacy
• Questions – Challenging
vs. supportive
MODIFICATIONS
• MODIFICATIONS –
SO WHAT CAN WE
DO DIFFERENTLY?
Warriors and villagers
Warriors and
Villagers
Tips
WARRIORS
VILLAGERS
1.  Don’t stab Villagers
1.  Don’t take everything so
personally
2.  Don’t tease or bait
villagers
2.  Take good natured
teasing in stride
3.  Make it easy for Villagers
to deliver bad news
3.  Don’t keep the truth from
them because you fear
conflict
WARRIORS
VILLAGERS
4.  First connect with
Villagers on a Personal
level THEN business
4.  Respect the Warrior’s
need for silence and
solitude – don’t invade
their emotional space
5.  Hidden aggression is as
bad for Warriors as
abrasive conflict is for
you.
6.  Think of teams in terms of
football – everyone has a
specific role
5.  Villagers fight differently
than Warriors – don‘t start
with nuclear attack
6.  Think of teams like a boat
crew in a storm –
everyone rows together
WARRIORS
VILLAGERS
7. Ramp it down. Warrior
behaviour is seen as rude,
aggressive and self-serving
7.  Up your level of
assertiveness or else you
will be seen as a wimp
and powerless
8. Don’t confuse cooperation
with being a wimp or
incompetent. Give up the
mask of invincibility and
omnipotence
8.  Bottom line is about
winning. Business is not
day care for adults. A
Warrior team is not about
democracy, liking fellow
team members or feeling
good
• “When a man gives his opinion, he's a man. When
a woman gives her opinion, she's a bitch.” ―
Bette Davis
• “As long as she thinks of a man, nobody objects
to a woman thinking.” ― Virginia Woolf
• “The one thing that unites all human beings,
regardless of age, gender, religion or ethnic
background, is that we all believe we are aboveaverage drivers.” –Dave Berry