Single Step Winter 2016

Single Step
The leading charity for people affected by depression
Winter 2016
Suffering in silence
Why men find it so hard to talk
Feeling better together
Friends in Need turns two
Keeping a healthy body and soul
Dealing with physical and emotional illness
Welcome to Single Step
A journey of a thousand miles begins with a Single Step
In this issue we have contributions from…
About us
Depression Alliance is the leading
charity in the UK for everyone
affected by depression. We bring
people together to end the loneliness
and isolation that so often comes
with the condition.
Our support network is a friendly
and easy way to share understanding,
information and friendship through
depression and recovery. We also
campaign to end the stigma of
depression and to raise awareness
of what it means to live with it.
It’s vital that our friends, family,
workplaces and communities are
providing the right support to help
people get better and stay well.
Support us
Your support will ensure our vital
work continues.
• Join our Friends in Need
community to connect with
others at friendsinneed.co.uk
• Join a self help group or meet up
in your area, or get help to create
a new one
• Be part of our national network
to change attitudes towards
depression and influence national
developments
Make a donation and
become a supporter at
www.depressionalliance.org
Paul Cornish
Illustrator and Science
Communicator
Nina Jacobs
Deputy Editor
Joanna Gilkes
Freelance writer
Jane Christopher
Cognative Behavioural
Therapist
Naomi Martin
Occupational Therapist
This issue
Dear Members,
Sadly and with a very heavy heart, we would like to inform you this will be the last
copy of a printed version of Single Step. After months of much deliberation and
discussion we can no longer deny the inevitable – it is too expensive to produce.
We know, having heard from so many of you, how much you value both reading and
contributing to the magazine and how much you love to see it dropping on the doormat every
quarter. We also know that using computers to find out information and meet people is not
everyone’s cup of tea, and so we will continue to provide support for anyone who would like
to get a group started locally or needs to know where to find a group to join in their local area.
The good news is that Depression Alliance has been grown significantly over the last few years,
driven in no small part by our Friends in Need online platform, and today we reach more than
23,000 people. All these people have joined Friends in Need and are part of the great, friendly,
warm and caring community, that meet up online and locally.
There are lots of local groups and we’re always there to help start new ones. If you would
like to know how to use Friends in Need, or just to find out if is there a local group in your area,
please do get in touch as we are happy to help. We still need your help to make sure that everyone
with depression has someone to talk to all of the time.
Alison Lawrence, Chair of Trustees
Help fundraise for Depression Awareness Week
18 April 2016
For more information please email [email protected]
or check out our website www.depressionalliance.org/get-involved/
We’d love to hear from you!
We’re always looking for blogs to add
to the Depression Alliance website.
If you’d like to contribute please read
our guidelines here:
www.depressionalliance.org/
get-involved/blog-for-us
Disclaimer
Depression Alliance has tried to ensure
that the contents of this magazine are
accurate. Depression Alliance takes no
responsibility for the content of articles
or adverts reproduced and this should not
be taken as an endorsement of any kind.
Contacts
Depression Alliance
9 Woburn Walk
London WC1H 0JE
T: 020 7407 7584
E: [email protected]
W: www.depressionalliance.org
Trustees
Chair: Alison Lawrence
Company Secretary: Malcolm Johnston
Lynsey Conway
Kevin Lewis
Professor Chris Thompson
Staff
Chief Executive: Emer O’Neill
Finance & IT Coordinator:
Michael Beaven
Digital Manager: Erin Hedger
Friends in Need Team Leader:
Liz Duff
Fundraising Team: Alex Morgan
West London Friends in Need:
Stuart Beck, Yvonne Nelson,
Whitney Shaw-Dale, Imogen Petit,
Christina Bengston
Friends in Need Coordinators:
Louise Jones, Ansa Khan, Sarah
Strong, Della Scully, Tina James,
Katie Oliver
Community Manager: Seema Inamdar
Communications Coordinator:
Laura Sacha
Finance and Admin Officer:
Salvatore La Cognata
Volunteers: Julia Cosby and
David Mark
Thanks
Thank you so much to our volunteers
across the country, without whose
hard work and dedication we would
not be able to offer the support,
information and understanding that
people affected by depression so
urgently need and deserve.
Credits
Editors: Erin Hedger and Nina Jacobs
Design: Bananadesign Ltd
Printer: Witherbys
Contents Winter 2016
8 Suffering in silence
Why men find it so hard to talk
“Too many men wrongly believe that admitting
mental distress makes them weak, and this kind of
self-stigma can prevent them from seeking help.”
4 Farewell to Emer
6 Have your say
4 News
Catch up with all the news from DA
6 Have your say
Can different music impact on wellbeing?
7 Good deed feed
Small acts of kindness make a big difference
8 Suffering in silence
Why men find it so hard to talk
10 Feeling better when we’re together
Friends in Need turns two
12 Keeping a healthy body and soul
10 Friends in Need
12 Healthy bodies
Dealing with physical and emotional illness
14 Ask the therapist
Our expert offers advice about CBT
15 Better by nature
Benefitting from the great outdoors
16 Your reviews
17 Technology time
Online tools for your wellbeing
17 Your letters & emails
19 Fundraiser profile & 60 seconds with...
Our news
4
Single Step Winter 2016
Going up
Almost a billion pounds of
investment to enhance mental
health services across the country has
been announced by the Government.
From the funding, nearly £250million
will be spent on liaison mental health
services in emergency departments.
January saw our Friends in Need
community grow to more than
23,000 users. Less than a year ago
we reported there were around
10,000 users.
New research from Oxford
University shows people
suffering from chronic sleep
problems are at double
the risk of developing
depression. Professor
Colin Espie, who
co-founded sleep
improvement app Sleepio,
says such people “have
more difficulty recognising
and managing emotions”.
Rugby league player Ryan Bailey
has spoken about his battle with
depression that almost ended his
sporting career. Thanking charity
Sporting Chance for the support
they gave him, the Warrington prop
said he would never have asked
for help because rugby league is
a “manly sport”.
Four in 10 employees are at risk
of depression, a new report by Global
Corporate Challenge (GCC) has
found. Nearly 15,000 people were
surveyed from 34 companies in
67 countries revealing 39 per cent
of employees fell into the worse
category for psychological wellbeing
putting them at risk of depression.
➽
On behalf of everyone at Depression Alliance welcome to the 2016
edition of Single Step. The year is well underway and with it there is
much to tell you about. First of all and with sadness we are saying
goodbye to our Chief Executive, Emer O’Neill. It will be almost 10
years to the day since Emer walked through the doors of DA –
where does the time go?
She has, without question, turned DA into a dynamic, modern and welcoming organisation. Her passion and understanding of our goals ensured that
DA grew significantly over the years and has taken huge steps forward to
achieve our vision. DA services now reach tens of thousands of people across
the country – whether it is going along to a local group, building individual
networks through Friends in Need, being supported within communities
because of the foresight of the NHS and local authorities to make DA services
available or using the information online. All this and much more is because
of Emer’s leadership and her unique ability to engage people to work with
DA. On behalf of us all at DA, a huge thankyou to Emer for everything –
her legacy will continue!
So how do we continue to build on all that Emer has started? The Trustees
have spent much of 2015 asking this question – how can DA reach more and
more people? How can we grow quickly, efficiently and with a solid base for
the future? The simple answer is that we cannot realise our ambitions alone –
we need to work in partnership with organisations and individuals who share
our values and vision, like-minded people that will strengthen and transform.
So, working with the staff team and volunteers the Trustees are leading
a programme to enable us to achieve our goals. 2016 will be an exciting year
for DA – we will be looking for new ways of working to build capacity and
resources. We want Friends in Need and all our services to be within easy reach.
Not a small task and as we set off on this journey we will keep you up to date
on developments and achievements.
An important aspect of our
work is how we communicate
with you and our many other
supporters. To help us answer
this question we need your
help. How do you like to hear
from DA? What do you want
to hear about? How often do
you want to hear from us?
What format works for you?
How easy is it to talk to us
and tell us what you need?
Email us at reception@
depressionalliance.org
Finally on behalf of
everyone at DA, enjoy this
edition of Single Step and
we look forward to hearing
from you!
➽
DA Chief Executive bids
farewell
Going down
In brief
Rotary funding brings
support to Bath
Residents in Bath are benefitting from ongoing support services
for depression sufferers thanks to the fundraising efforts of the
city’s Rotary Club.
On our website last year we featured the story of how the Rotary Club
of Bath presented Depression Alliance with a cheque for £4,000 to help
set up new support networks for those affected by depression.
The money was raised by Rotary
at its annual golf tournament in
September and has enabled
Depression Alliance to reach out
to more people in need of help.
Becky Hughesman, whose job
it is to set up peer support groups
in Bath, said since starting her post
in November she had made links with both health and professional bodies
keen to endorse the project.
“The feedback was that there are a number of groups in Bath, but
nothing specifically for depression,” says Becky.
She is advertising Depression Alliance’s new presence in Bath through
our Friends in Need (FiN) platform and has so far had an encouraging
response.
“To date we have five members on FiN, all of whom I have been in direct
contact with to encourage their participation and offer support. In addition
I designed a poster advertising the groups which resulted in a further five
people coming forward.”
Becky says the meet ups have been offered weekly since the end of
November and include activities ranging from a walk around Victoria
Park to meeting at a central café in the city.
“It is clear to see that the need for a group exists,” she says. “I’ve already
received a lot of positive feedback from the current members.”
Peer support
Our Side by Side project, which aims to improve mental health
through peer support, has already made good progress since
its launch in September.
DA is now involved in the national evaluation into peer support that
is taking place across England.
Working alongside Mind and Bipolar UK and funded by the Big Lottery,
nine regions have been selected and DA is working in three of them:
Northamptonshire, Plymouth and West London.
The programme aims to improve the lives of people experiencing mental
health problems across England through access to peer support.
Side by Side coordinator Louise Jones said: “We have some lovely groups
established and we are hoping that, as a result of people coming along and
experiencing the benefits of peer support and participating in the
evaluation, we will be able to prove that it is a beneficial thing.”
Participants are needed for a large study of eye-movement patterns that may help with diagnosis of individuals
with common mental illnesses. Anyone interested in
taking part in the research being organised by the
Clinical Brain Sciences Centre at the University of
Edinburgh should contact the Depression Alliance
office for more details.
Tony Mears certainly took a load off his back after
completing a gruelling week-long weight vest challenge
to raise more than £230 for Depression Alliance. Tony,
who only took off the 30kg vest to wash or sleep, said:
“It was super challenging but the reaction and feedback
I got from people was far beyond what I was expecting.
I’m pleased the money is going to a good cause.”
Thank you so much to Rasteen Riyahi-Boni who
completed the Leicester Half Marathon in October raising
more than £150 for Depression Alliance. Rasteen said:
“I got up at 6am every other day to train while working
at a camp in America over
the summer. I endured some
incredibly tiring runs in
between my lectures, injured
myself, putting me out for
a whole season of lacrosse
and got bitten by a dog.
This is nothing compared
to what people with clinical
depression fight with every
day. I chose DA because mental illness has affected people
that are very important to
me and I want to make a
difference in the lives of the
people and their families
who suffer the same fate.”
Have
your say
t
How does listening to differen
llbeing?
types of music impact on we
t sad or aggressive music
A recent study has found tha
ious and depressed people.
is used as a coping tool by anx
g
studies and articles claimin
The internet is littered with
does to our brains, its
to explain exactly what music
how it helps to release
psychological functions and
This particular study by
a mood-enhancing chemical.
t people who listen to sad
Danish researchers claims tha
iety
erience higher levels of anx
or aggressive music may exp
listen to happier music.
or neuroticism than those who
wed that certain listening
The results of the study sho
ects on the brain.
styles can have long-term eff
be used as a coping tool by
Can sad or aggressive music
ple?
anxious and depressed peo
I agree.
Every time
Ig
depressed, et
sa
music alwa d
ys
helps me. M
usic
helps me a
lot!
Yahwel
6
Single Step Winter 2016
e
sion ar
s
e
r
p
e
nd
y and d
emes a
r
Anxiet
t
x
e
t
sic
feren
the mu
s
two dif
i
t
i
e
it just
believ
k
n
i
h
t
I
I don’t
ps.
k to
hat hel
ind bac
itself t
m
e
h
t
cts
ings
t distra
only br
s
u
j
s
t
i
and
anxiou
the now epressive or
y
md
say, an
you fro
y
e
h
t
s
ill
ts. A
pe – I w
o
c
e
though
m
p
hat hel
d
tools t
hamme
o
M
.
m
try the
Listen to the music.
It helps
Someone once asked me to
describe happiness, I got into the
whole idea of was it about the perfect job, relationship, meal, day or
joke. I couldn’t decide because they
all made me happy but the actual
essence of the pure feeling of happiness that was harder to think
or come by. I kept thinking on this
for a few days and I realised at one
point during the day driving home
from work listening to Talking
Heads on the radio and singing
along that it was music. It had the
power to lift me out of any slump
even if it was for a five-minute
breather before I fell back into
the black hole.
Nick Hornby wrote in his book
31 Songs that a perfect song
should stand alone in its perfection
and not evoke any memories of
better times or generally not be
good for sentimental reasons but
simply because it is a good song.
I disagree.
I firmly believe that music has the
power to heal and the power to lift
your spirit.
Alan
d
e
e
f
d
e
e
d
d
o
Go
upport
s
d
n
a
s
s
e
of kindn
way
Small acts g difference to the
d
a bi
e them an
t
a
can make
r
b
e
l
e
c
o let’s
we feel, s
you.
say thank
Thanks for article on #depressioninworkplace! Excited to talk about
this tomorrow @womenoffuture
#wof10yrs Jessica
Many thanks Yvonne for the information and the opportunity to meet
with you today. You have given me
the chance to once again get back
into life. I had a spring in my step
when I left you. So grateful to be
involved with Friends in Need –
what a wonderful organisation. LS
Hi to all of you at the Depression
Alliance team. Just to say a big
thank you for a super Christmas
party at the Piano Bar, Park
yed
International Hotel. I really enjo
had
and
bers
mem
r
meeting othe
nd
a lovely evening. I will try to atte
to
due
–
r
yea
this
more events
nt
unforeseen circumstances, I spe
in
don
Lon
ide
outs
a lot of time
2015. Looking forward to seeing
tyou all soon. Best wishes for a frui
ena
Boz
6!
201
y
bus
ful, happy and
When my depressi
on gets bad I find
it helps to
listen to sad music
. I can connect wit
h it in the
moment and, hope
fully, sometimes, th
ere is a
cathartic release of
emotion. I tried lis
tening
to happy and upbe
at music, but I foun
d
it was
frustrating that I
couldn’t “be happy”
an
d actually
sometimes ended
up feeling worse.
W
he
n you
suffer severe depr
ession, happiness
ca
n become
alien to you. Trying
to be and feel som
et
hing you
are not isn’t helpfu
l. That’s just my ex
pe
rience.
Cameron
It [Royal Albert Hall] was certainl
y
a most momentous and joyful eve
nt
and I must deeply thank you
personally and your other DA
colleagues for organising such
a busy event. You and your team
worked so competently and
delivered an excellent occasion for
us to participate in. This I believe
is the strength and forte of DA.
And this is why I believe that DA
is so amazingly successful. With
my best wishes to you and the
DA team. Dhiraj
A huge
thank y
ou to E
everyo
mer fro
ne at th
m
e Depre
Alliance
s
s
io
n
team fo
r all her
dedicat
ion and
suppor
t
over th
e last
10 year
s!
Feature
Suffering in silence
Suicide is the biggest single killer of men aged under 45. Paul Cornish
explores why men find it so hard to talk about their depression and get
the help they need.
hree years ago I was diagnosed
with obsessive compulsive
disorder. Before that I had
no idea why my brain would latch on
to disturbing thoughts and ideas and
ruminate on them constantly, for days
on end. Usually I was able to maintain
a veneer of calm and cheerfulness
to mask the ugly, repetitive churning
going on inside my head. Occasionally
however the strain would begin to
show. Sometimes I would retreat into
a silent depression in order to devote
my energy fully to my ruminations.
On other occasions I would release
my turmoil in the form of tears,
hyperventilating, and a lot panicky
“confessions” about what an awful
T
8
Single Step Winter 2016
person I was, directed at wonderfully
patient but confused friends.
The reason for these episodes
seemed obvious to me. I was just not
cut out for the real world. I figured that
unlike every other man I had ever met
I was weak, childlike, and prone to dramatics, tantrums, and sulking. I had no
choice but to “get on with it” alone, like
a “real man” should. It turns out I was
not quite as alone as I believed.
Reluctance
A recent poll of 1,500 men by The
Huffington Post UK found that 42 per
cent of men had suffered from depression and anxiety during their lifetime.
When asked if they would open
up to anyone about these
feelings, almost a quarter
(24 per cent) said they
wouldn’t. According
to the mental health
charity Mind only
23 per cent of men would see a GP if
they felt low for more than two weeks,
compared with 33 per cent of women.
I figured that unlike every
other man I had ever met
I was weak, childlike, and
prone to dramatics,
tantrums, and sulking.
This reluctance to open up about
depression and anxiety can have
serious consequences for men.
According to the Office of National
Statistics, suicide was the leading
cause of death in
England and Wales for
men aged between
20 and 34 years of
age in 2012, and
76 per cent of
suicides in 2012
were men.
Male suicide rates
The highest suicide rate in 2012
was found in men between 40 and
44 years of age. Mind spokeswoman
Beth Murphy has argued that the
high suicide rate among men in
their 40s is evidence of “scarring”
over time by factors such as
unemployment and low wages.
In 2015 a YouGov Survey of 2,000
men found that more than four in
10 men (42 per cent) say they have
had suicidal thoughts, with two fifths
(41 per cent) never talking to anyone
about their problems. The same poll
found that 49 per cent of those who
did not seek help “didn’t want people
to worry about me”, 32 per cent felt
ashamed, 37 per cent did not want
to make a fuss and 43 per cent didn’t
want to talk about their feelings.
Tips for men suffering with depression and anxiety
1 Stay active: The NHS advises that exercise and socialising can improve your mood.
Make the effort to keep in touch with friends and family. Take up a sport, join a gym,
or ease yourself into exercise by taking a short, 20 minute walk every day.
2 Don’t drink too much alcohol: It could make you feel more depressed and for some
people, alcohol can become a problem.
3 Have a routine: Try to get up at your usual time and stick to your routine, for example
regular mealtimes, as much as possible.
4 Face your fears: Don’t avoid the things you find difficult. Facing up to them will make
them easier to cope with.
5 Know the symptoms: As well as emotional or mental symptoms there are also
physical symptoms to depression of which many are unaware. Depression can cause
you to have difficulty sleeping, or to have more sleep than usual. You may feel tired,
lose your appetite, or eat more than usual. You may have physical aches and pains,
and you may find yourself moving more slowly than usual.
6 Talk to someone: If you don’t feel comfortable talking to family and friends there
are other ways to reach out for help.
Self-stigma
Why then, do men find it so difficult
to admit to depression and anxiety?
Why are men so reluctant to ask for
help, to the point where they often
consider taking their own life?
Many believe the problem to be
a fear of being perceived as weak or
foolish. Dr John Chisholm, chairman
of the Men’s Health Forum (MHF),
argues: “Culturally, men are reluctant
to admit and talk about personal
problems because they see it as
embarrassing and a sign of weakness
and vulnerability. There’s a
reluctance to make a fuss or appear
silly, and a feeling that things will get
better even if they take no action.”
Why are men so reluctant
to ask for help, to the point
where they often consider
taking their own life?
Paul Farmer, chief executive of
Mind, said: “Sadly, too many men
wrongly believe that admitting mental distress makes them weak, and
this kind of self-stigma can prevent
them from seeking help and
ultimately can cost lives.”
A further problem, according
to Mind and the MHF, is that the
symptoms of depression often differ
depending on gender. Women often
exhibit what are regarded as more
“traditional” symptoms, for example
sleepless nights, crying, or feeling
low. Men on the other hand are more
likely to “act out’” by taking drugs,
drinking, or being aggressive, which
means their problems can be
overlooked or misdiagnosed.
The issue then seems to be a
cultural one. Men are stereotypically
viewed as strong and stoic. Men are
expected to laugh off or ignore problems, often in the company of other
‘blokes’ down the pub. As journalist
Owen Jones put it “stereotypical
forms of masculinity – stiff upper
lips, laddishness – are killing men.”
These arguments certainly match
my own experience. I used to joke
that I was “far too shallow to feel
depressed”. I assumed that I was
being a childish “drama queen”,
or a “moaner” whenever I would
spend all day in bed, or cry and
hyperventilate in the toilets at work.
I used to look at other men my age
seemingly coping and wonder why
I was weaker than them. I did not
even consider seeking help until
these thoughts and feelings had
resulted in the end of a long-term
relationship and the complete derailing of my career path and life. Even
then it was several more years before
I felt able to discuss anti-depressant
medication and the possibility of
OCD with my GP.
National awareness
Awareness of depression and anxiety
among men does seem to be slowly
on the rise. Last year, on 19
November, International Men’s
Day, the House of Commons debated
issues that adversely affect men, such
as male suicide, for the first time.
Celebrities such as Stephen Fry
and politicians such as Labour
MP John Woodcock are speaking
publicly about their mental health
issues. Charities such as Depression
Alliance, Mind and CALM continue
to campaign to raise awareness of the
issue, and offer online information
and resources for men affected by
depression and anxiety.
Real progress will never be made
however until there is no longer any
shame or stigma in a man asking for
help. Journalist Laurie Penny has
said: “Asking for help is seen as an
affront to masculinity... the rules of
masculinity prevent you from asking
for help or talking about feelings.”
These “rules of masculinity” need
to change. Lives are depending on it.
Paul Cornish
is an illustrator and science communicator from
Cardiff. He is currently living in England and can
be found online at www.paulgcornish.co.uk
Feature
Feeling better when
we’re together
As Friends in Need celebrates its second birthday, Nina Jacobs finds out the
secret behind its continuing success.
n the two years since it was set
up Friends in Need (FiN) has
literally helped thousands of
isolated and lonely people across the
UK – a remarkable achievement that
perhaps no one could have predicted
given its small beginnings.
Seema Inamdar, FiN community
manager, describes the online
platform’s evolution as “truly
staggering” as it marks its birthday
celebrations with an impressive
23,000-strong membership.
“Launching in November 2013,
Friends in Need has gone from a
basic and small platform for a few
Depression Alliance members to
chat to each other to a much more
complex organism with thousands
of members,” she says.
“Friends in Need has taken on a
life of its own and the community
is thriving and flourishing despite
the obstacles that each member
faces daily,” she adds.
I
10
Single Step Winter 2016
At present there are 920 active
groups offering the chance for members to maintain their recovery, meet
new people, challenge themselves
and share their experiences – either
online or face to face.
The results were overwhelmingly
encouraging as nearly three quarters
of respondents said they would
recommend FiN to others.
Almost half of people who had
attended a meet up found it supportive while 43 per cent said they felt
less isolated since using FiN.
More than 50 per cent said FiN
had been beneficial to their health
and 26 per cent said they been able
to help others through being a
member of FiN.
Around a third of members
(36 per cent) said they used FiN for
‘learning/reading experiences from
other people like me’ while 31 per
cent became members for support
and friendship in the community.
Community feedback
Scientific evidence base
To mark FiN’s second birthday, we
carried out our own survey in November of more than 200 members of the
FiN community so they could provide
us with some feedback.
Given what we learnt about the
benefits of FiN from our own internal
findings it should come as no surprise
there is a solid evidence base about
the effectiveness of peer support for
those suffering from depression.
She says users of the platform,
which had its official launch at 10
Downing Street, are helping to create
new groups on a daily basis which provide a vital lifeline for people to meet
up in their local area to share support.
Friends in Need has taken
on a life of its own and
the community is thriving
and flourishing.
Researchers in Queensland,
Australia, writing in the Journal
of Affective Disorders, describe how
interventions that increase social
identification can reduce depression
symptoms in community and clinical
settings (T. Cruwys et al, 2014).
Discussing the use of
antidepressant medication for the
treatment of depression, they say it
can have a compliance rate as low as
45 per cent partly due to common side
effects such as drowsiness and weight
gain. The majority of patients prefer
non-drug treatment but in spite of
this therapy is often avoided because
it is perceived to be stigmatising.
“There is therefore a need for the
development of treatment alternatives
(particularly in the maintenancephase of treatment) that are costeffective, non-stigmatising, and
widely accessible.”
Even internet-based
support groups, which
involved no face-to-face
interaction, appear to
have potential benefits for
patients with depression.
They say basic research has shown
that social isolation both precipitates
and maintains depression. Additionally, the specific trigger for a
depressive episode is very often the
loss of an important social tie, such as
bereavement, divorce or redundancy.
“Social isolation can also reduce
responsiveness to treatment and is
a well-established risk factor for
relapse,” they add.
Social identification
Citing the results of studies which
suggest that interventions to facilitate
social interaction can effectively alleviate depression, they say “even internet-based support groups, which
involved no face-to-face interaction,
appear to have potential benefits
for patients with depression”.
According to a large recent study
each social group that a depressed
individual joined reduced their risk
of relapse four years later by around
24 per cent.
“This effect was such that a
depressed person who joined no
groups was at 41 per cent risk of
relapsing four years later, compared
to a much lower 15 per cent risk
for a person who joined three
groups,” they say.
The researchers outline the central
argument of the current research
which is that social activities are
effective in reducing depression to
the extent that they facilitate social
identification, which they argue
constitutes the “active ingredient” of
groups that gives them the potential
to be curative for depression.
“The benefits of social
identification have previously been
demonstrated for a wide-range of
health conditions, such as recovering
from stroke or trauma. Indeed,
studies have found that merely
reminding individuals of their
group membership serves to increase
resilience to stress and tolerance
of physical pain.”
Effective strategy
They conclude that facilitating
patients to join social groups
that they are likely to value – or
to rediscover the value of groups
that they are already a part of –
is a strategy that is compatible
with existing treatment models,
particularly interpersonal
psychotherapy and behavioural
activation strategies in cognitive
behavioural therapy.
The future
If FiN can gain so much ground
in terms of membership in just two
years, it seems impossible to predict
how much more it could grow in
the future.
Seema says: “We have great plans
for Friends in Need but we cannot
do this without your support.
A big thank you to everyone that
has contributed to the site, either
through donating, welcoming new
members, sharing some advice, a tip
on the site or arranging a meet up.
“Giving back as well as taking
support is what makes Friends
in Need a special and unique
place for those affected by
depression.”
From left to right: Chris Thompson, Alison Lawrence,
Samantha Cameron, Emer O’Neill, Annali-Joy Thornicroft,
Robert Hubbard.
What FiN members say
Feeling less isolated
“This site has been really supportive for me when I was
in a really dark place. It’s reassuring to talk to people
who understand. So many people don’t understand
what depression is like and it’s difficult to get the
support you need sometimes. Always talk.”
Helping others
“Wow, learn something new everyday! I never knew
that meditation can help with depression. I will be
definitely trying this out. Thanks for the suggestion!”
Using FiN for learning/reading experiences
From our two-year anniversary survey in reply to:
Since using Friends in Need, I feel…
“Better informed about anxiety disorders and mental
health issues other people have which I don’t have.”
“I have spent the last hour or so browsing this site
and reading threads, and it has had a calming effect
on me, something that I was not expecting.”
Support/friendship in the community
“Hello everyone. I have been overwhelmed with the
amount of support I have received in the last hour
after posting the above. I like
to say I am feeling much much
better as I have found out
I am not alone anymore and
people do care... I love this
group.”
Overall benefits to
mental health
“I must say that finding this
site, using it regularly has
also played a massive part
in how I’ve felt recently.
I have never spoken openly
about how things are
inside for me, by opening
up on here and seeking
professional help
elsewhere, GP, referrals
etc. I feel like a massive
burden has been lifted.”
Feature
Keeping a healthy
body and soul
Mental health problems can often hinder an accurate diagnosis of physical
complaints. Bipolar disorder sufferer Joanna Gilkes found out first hand
just how hard that can be when she was diagnosed with cancer.
have experienced depression
since childhood, before I even
knew what the term meant.
During university, I suffered the
bereavement of a close relative and
was first prescribed anti-depressants.
Luckily, I completed my degree and
entered full-time employment after
graduation. In hindsight, I should
have taken a break after my studies,
as just 10 months into my new role,
I suffered a major breakdown that
necessitated a compulsory hospital
admission. I was subsequently
diagnosed with bipolar disorder
in 2001, at the age of 23.
I
Recognising different
symptoms
Of course, anyone who is or has
been depressed themselves, or knows
someone going through it, will recognise that depression does not have
purely mental health symptoms.
Depression can and does manifest
itself in physical ailments too: weight
can be gained, and lost; sleep patterns
are affected, and you may find
yourself sleeping too much or not
being able to sleep much at all. Even
your immune system can become
weakened, meaning that you may
find yourself particularly susceptible
to any coughs, colds, or viruses going
around. But surely a doctor would be
able to differentiate between those
physical health symptoms caused by
depression and those stemming from
something else? Moreover, when presented by such physical symptoms
in a person already experiencing
depression, surely a doctor would
not merely conclude that they were
definitely caused by the depression
itself, without investigating further?
12
Single Step Winter 2016
A hard lesson to learn
Cancer diagnosis
Unfortunately, I have recently learnt
the hard way that some doctors
cannot correctly distinguish between
mental and physical ill health. Two
years ago, at the age of 35, I found
a suspicious lump about the size of
a fifty pence piece in my left breast.
After a mostly sleepless night,
I contacted my GP surgery first thing
the next morning and was invited in
the same day. Even though the lump
had, at this point, visibly changed the
outline of my breast, the doctor had
trouble finding and feeling it, and
I had to guide her examination.
When I was finally seen by a breast
specialist, I was diagnosed with Grade
3 Invasive Ductal Carcinoma or
‘The Big C’. I had two lumpectomies –
operations to remove the lump – but
five months after my initial diagnosis,
I had to have a mastectomy. I asked
my breast consultant whether if the
GP I had initially seen hadn’t procrastinated and I had received an earlier
referral, would he have been able to
remove the cancerous tissue without
having to remove my whole breast?
He didn’t answer with an outright
‘no’, instead he said “We just don’t
know” which could be interpreted
as him admitting that there was, at
some stage, the possibility of saving
my breast.
Depression can and does
manifest itself in physical
ailments too: weight can
be gained, and lost; sleep
patterns are affected.
Before my appointment, I had
briefly researched the subject of
‘breast lumps’, so when the doctor
wasn’t offering me possible
explanations, I asked whether it
was a fibroadenoma – or ‘breast
mouse?’(a mobile lump that moves
position in the breast.) Although
the doctor admitted she wasn’t sure
about the nature of the lump, she
didn’t seek help or a second opinion,
and dismissed it as ‘just a cyst’.
Current government guidelines state
that, if there is any suspicion of
cancer, referrals to a specialist must
be made within two weeks of the
initial appointment. I, however,
was turned away a total of three
times, over a period of six weeks,
before I was eventually referred.
Breast cancer and
mental health
At the time, it did cross my mind
that this GP’s inability to correctly
diagnose this physical problem
of mine was caused by the fact that
I also have a mental health diagnosis.
But then events overtook me, and
I had to put my suspicions about the
significance of my bipolar diagnosis
to one side in order to concentrate
on my recovery. Two years on though,
and I decided to research breast cancer and mental health. I discovered
a study entitled Breast Cancer Screening In Women With Mental Illness
(December 2014, based on research
led by the University of Leicester’s
Department of Cancer Studies).
It queried whether women with
a mental health diagnosis were less
likely to be screened for breast cancer,
than those women who do not experience mental ill health; and whether
Tips for managing mental and physical health
1 Find out what works best for you. For me, too much stress and not
enough sleep can trigger a relapse.
2 Regular exercise can really help. Alternatively, search charity shops
for cheap exercise equipment and DVDs, or check out YouTube for
free workout videos.
3 Try to eat healthier, but don’t berate yourself if you fancy a biscuit or two.
4 Take a list of symptoms and someone with you for moral support when
you visit your doctor.
a mental health diagnosis prejudiced
diagnoses of breast cancer, and
delayed the offering of a screening
mammogram. The study showed
there were significantly reduced
rates of mammography screening
in women with mental illness,
depression and severe mental illness
such as schizophrenia.
I feel vindicated knowing that my
suspicions about my existing mental
health diagnosis were right: it can
affect a doctor’s perception of physical health problems, and have a
negative impact on their accurate
appraisal and consequent treatment
of such problems. I also feel angry –
not because I was unfortunate
enough to have cancer. After all,
breast cancer, like depression, is
an ‘equal opportunities’ disease, in
that it doesn’t discriminate in terms
of age, class, ethnicity, sexual orientation and even gender. No, I feel angry
that my cancer wasn’t promptly and
properly diagnosed at the earliest
opportunity; and I can’t help but
wonder if the situation would have
turned out to be very different if
I didn’t already have, as they say,
a history of mental ill health?
NICE recommendations
The National Institute for Heath and
Care Excellence (NICE) understands
that caring for both body and mind
is of equal importance. It advocates
‘patient-centre care’ – advising that
a patient’s needs and preferences
should be taken into account when it
comes to considering their treatment.
NICE also recommends a ‘collaborative care’ approach to health
treatment, meaning that all other
agencies involved in a patient’s care,
work together effectively to deliver a
comprehensive service. This service
should start with the initial diagnosis,
run throughout treatment and be
evident in after-treatment support.
It is likely that your GP will be your
first port of call when physical health
problems arise. However I always do
a bit of online research beforehand
to make sure I’m up to speed. If blood
tests or referrals are not offered,
I try to pluck up the courage to ask
for them. I find it easier to do this by
taking someone along with me – so
that they can step in and ask if I feel
overwhelmed and unable to.
Joanna Gilkes
is currently based in Hertfordshire, but regularly
commutes into London to study again after years
of being a carer. She has a keen interest in all
things ‘entertainment’ and is also hoping to raise
awareness of both mental health and breast cancer
by writing about them.
Questions
?
Ask the therapist
Putting your questions to those that know
Ree says: “What should I expect when I start CBT? How should
I start preparing for the sessions?”
Jane Christopher
Cognitive Behavioural Therapist
“What should I expect when I start CBT? I’ve been
referred but it’ll probably be a couple of months
before I hear anything. Is there anything I can do
to start preparing for it?”
Ree, Kent
Cognitive Behaviour Therapy (CBT)
examines the links between people’s
thoughts, feelings and behaviour.
This is a really important question and I hope that this
response will help in answering it. I will break it down
into two parts.
What should I expect when I start CBT?
Cognitive Behaviour Therapy (CBT) examines the links
between people’s thoughts, feelings and behaviour (Westbrook, Kennerley, & Kirk, 2010). It examines how what
people think and do can impact on and maintain their
feelings. An important part of working with CBT is the
collaborative relationship between the therapist and the
client. While the therapist is an expert in applying CBT
principles, the client is an expert in his or her experiences.
TRIGGER
THOUGHTS
FEELINGS
BEHAVIOUR
Laying the ground work
At the start of working together, you and your therapist
will be developing the ground work, an individualised
picture (what is known as a “formulation”) that helps
with understanding and examines what might be
maintaining your difficulties. This helps with making
sense of what you might be experiencing and is a central
part of guiding treatment. A basic CBT formulation might
look like this (see chart left).
Managing difficulties
CBT aims to help you to become your own therapist and
because of this, you will be learning skills in your sessions
to help you to break the cycle that you are in. You and your
therapist will be like detectives, monitoring your cycle
with the aim of helping you to develop alternative ways
of managing your difficulties. This will involve practicing
what you learn in your sessions in between (homework)
which you and your therapist will prepare in advance.
This will be reviewed in each session.
14
Single Step Winter 2016
Is there anything I can do to start
preparing for it?
It sounds like you are keen to prepare for your CBT
sessions which is good news. A starting point might be
to regularly monitor situations that might be “triggering”
off any anxious or depressed thoughts that you may be
experiencing. Ask yourself “what is it that triggered this
thought or feeling?” This is not always easy but have a
go. Pay attention to how your thoughts influence how
you feel. Pay attention to what you might be doing to cope
and the impact that this has on your mood in the short
term and in the long term. Many people find that while
their behaviours help in the short term, they are not helpful in the long term. By monitoring your cycle for example
in a diary, it will help you and your therapist to develop
a picture of what might be happening. Doing this would
be a good headstart. It would also be helpful to think
about your therapy goals as your therapist will be asking
you about this as it will help inform the direction of
treatment.
Good luck Ree
Resources
There are lots of basic books and materials
available on CBT that can help with getting started.
Depending on what you are experiencing, these
may be useful guides: Overcoming depression
and low mood: A five areas approach by Chris
Williams; Overcoming anxiety, stress, and
panic: A five areas approach by Chris Williams.
These books should be available in most libraries
but they are also accessible from Amazon. A useful
website that you could visit is from the Centre of
Clinical Interventions where you can access reading
material and workbooks that may be helpful.
See: www.cci.health.wa.gov.au/resources/index.cfm
Jane Christopher
is a Cognitive Behavioural Therapist based at
Croyden IAPT.
Wellness
Better by nature
Getting outdoors and enjoying nature-based activities
is an easy and accessible way to improve wellbeing.
Naomi Martin
Occupational Therapist
The use of ecotherapy to improve
wellbeing is gaining ground across
the UK as evidenced by one Nottingham-based charity which has been
successfully offering it to residents
experiencing mental health issues.
Framework Housing developed its
Nature in Mind scheme as a new service
from the experience and evidence gathered through four years (2011–2014)
of its Gateway to Nature project, which
supported people to overcome barriers
that had a negative impact on their lives
including confidence, social isolation
and health problems.
Being outdoors has been
shown to release more of
the ‘good’ hormones and
help people to feel less
stressed, anxious or angry.
The great outdoors
Ecotherapy, which is provided to
Nature in Mind participants, is a term
to describe the use of nature-based
activities to improve mental wellbeing.
Activities range from gardening, walking, cycling to nature-based arts and
crafts, conservation tasks, animal
care, bushcraft – basically anything
that involves spending time in and
interacting with nature.
The programme of activities
generally takes place in a group
setting and can provide a great way
of tackling social exclusion and for
participants to meet new people.
in patients who spent more time
outdoors opposed to those who
were confined indoors.
More recently mental health charity Mind conducted a nationwide
study (Ecotherapy: the green agenda
for Mental Health, 2007) and found
that people who engaged with ‘green
exercise’ (physical activity in a natural
environment) noted significant
improvements in both their mental
and physical health. Other studies
suggest that simply viewing a
pleasant rural landscape can be
enough to increase senses of
wellbeing (Health effects of viewing
landscapes, Velarde et al 2007).
mood, as well as benefiting overall
physical health.
For many people taking part in
something that is enjoyable, in a safe
and stigma free environment, can be
a start to rebuilding lost confidence.
For some this can be about confidence
in their own abilities to achieve something or develop a new skill.
Are you on Friends in Need: why
not try setting up your own local
ecotherapy meet up?
Biophilia
There are many different reasons why
this sort of activity supports people
with mental health problems. The
notion of biophilia suggests that we
have an innate need to connect with
nature as we have evolved to be
dependent on it and our health can
suffer from the disconnection from
nature that modern lifestyles often
lead to. Chemically, being outdoors
has been shown to release more of
the ‘good’ hormones and help people
to feel less stressed, anxious or angry.
Time spent in a natural environment
can aid relaxation and have a restorative effect. Being outside also gives
you the opportunity to absorb
vitamin D from the sunlight, which
has been shown to be effective
in reducing low mood.
Not ready to join a group?
Here’s how you can still enjoy the benefits
of ecotherapy
• Go for a short walk
• Spend some time in the garden
• Visit a local park
• Watch a nature programme
Physical exercise
The evidence base
The notion of ‘getting outdoors’ as
a way of improving overall health
is not a new one – physicians during
the early part of the last century were
documenting the improvements seen
Many of the ecotherapy activities
involve an element of physical
exercise – whether this is a gentle
walk around a local park or strenuous
digging on an allotment – this will
help release endorphins and improve
Naomi Martin
is an Occupational Therapist who worked in the NHS
for six years before moving to Framework in 2015
to work for the Nature in Mind project.
Reviews
Your reviews
Every issue we ask you to tell us what’s on and what’s out there…
If you fancy writing a review we’d love to hear from you, so get in touch today!
Walking on Sunshine
The Danish Girl
Rachel Kelly
Available on Amazon
This book is written by someone who
previously suffered with depression
and the “steps” she used to help her
stay calm and happy. I was unsure
about it at first as I didn’t expect
someone else’s coping strategies to be
of any use to me but I was pleasantly
surprised.
There were steps on breathing
techniques, mindful moments and
meditation I found useful as it
offered an explanation of how to
practice them, also information on
useful vitamins to take and then links
at the back of the book where you can
obtain further information on the
topics and also blank pages to make
your own notes.
My favourite steps were “Habitreleasing” as the thought of changing
habits can be quite scary to
depression sufferers but a
very beneficial thing to do
and something I had never
thought of before and constructive “Wallowing”
where the idea is to indulge
your feelings. The steps I
found least useful were relating to her hobbies such as
“flower power” and
“mending” purely because they are
not areas that interest me and
preferred the more general steps
relating to sleep, box sets and overusing mobile phones.
There were poems in the book
which I didn’t enjoy as it made me
feel quite intimidated by the author.
While I might not recommend this
book to anyone I would definitely
recommend some of the steps.
Gemma, Birmingham
Starring Eddie Redmayne
On general release
Ah, The Danish Girl – what a
delicious film. A small group of four
Croydonites treated ourselves to this
cinematic experience at the Grants
Vue, and were all pleased to have
done so. I do the film a grave injustice
if I relate to it simply as a retelling
of the first known
male to female gender
reassignment surgery.
For one of the film’s
many talents is in portraying a truly delightful and poignant story,
not of an individual,
but of an individual
who achieves a deeply
rooted wish through
persistence and the support of
those closest. This is definitely a film
worth watching, and discussing, with
others – the experience is far greater
than the sum of its parts.
This is a film with many good
attributes: the film quality, photography and scene setting are a visual
treat. The acting from the main leads
is sublime. The direction successfully
takes control of our emotions and
imaginations to fully immerse us
in a historically transformative experience. The story itself journeys from
an enthusiastic young artistic ‘parents
to be’ couple, through the coping
with a life changing experience,
to flourish into the birth of a new
individual (and movement). For my
money then, there has to be Oscars
awaiting for The Danish Girl...
prepare to smile with joy and shed
a tear while you experience this
wonderfully poignant theatrical
experience.
Sandra, Croydon
16 Single Step Winter 2016
Explaining my
Depression to my
Mother – a Conversation
A poem by Sabina Benaim
Available on YouTube
I’ve been asked plenty of times to
explain how my anxiety feels – I guess
you have too. Having watched Sabina
perform her poem online, I’m know
I’m not alone in feeling that it’s so
hard to describe, especially
when the person you’re
trying to explain it to is
someone you love, and
possibly someone who can’t
understand. And whilst it is
hard, Sabina manages to put
her feelings into words really
effectively. Her description
of her depression changing
in form, and the fact that she
is the host to a party that she doesn’t
even want to be at, struck a chord
with my own sentiments.
Sabina delivers her poem, a
dialogue between her and her mother,
with such raw emotion that it left me
slightly breathless and not a little bit
anxious myself. I found it uncomfortable viewing because she displays
her feelings with such veracity that
I didn’t know what was coming next.
Her mother tries to understand, and –
presumably with kindness – makes
suggestions to try and help her
daughter, but in doing so she forces
Sabina to realise that her depression is
beyond her mother’s comprehension,
and possibly also her own.
Do our loved ones even want
to understand? It seems to me that
Sabina’s mum is happier to remain
in her ignorance, perhaps because
it’s too painful to enter into the world
her daughter inhabits. Maybe she’s
protecting herself.
Nick, Kent
Tech talk
Technology time
Each issue we bring you a selection of online tools,
apps and resources to help improve your wellbeing.
Nina Jacobs
Deputy Editor
Memory Star
Koko
Available for free download from
Google Play and the App Store
Memory Star is the not-for-sharing
app aimed at those suffering from
depression and anxiety. When you
open the app you are faced with
the question, how are you feeling?
You then have two options; ‘happy’
or ‘cheer me up’. If you’re feeling
happy the app allows you to add
a picture and a message that you
can then review whenever you need
cheering up. These memories create
‘stars’ in a constellation of your
personal happiness.
I enjoyed this app and would recommend it to anyone with feelings of
depression and anxiety; having the
visual imagery to look back on reminds
us that the skies aren’t always grey. It’s
difficult to remember happy memories
when you’re feeling down but having
a bank of those specific memories
at your fingertips makes it simple.
Memory Star takes away the anxiety
of ‘sharing’ our happy moments for
‘likes’ and holds them
for our own personal
viewing pleasure.
My only suggestion
for the Memory Star
app is to download it
when you’re feeling
good about yourself
and can immediately
add happy moments
otherwise there will be
no content to cheer you up with.
I believe it would also be more
beneficial if users were able to upload
videos to the app. Seeing yourself and
others in these live action memories
can help revive those happy feelings.
Nevertheless, for anyone looking
for a user friendly app that can shine
some light on those dark days don’t
hesitate to download Memory Star.
Madison, London
Available for free download
from the App Store
Anyone who has ever suffered from
anxiety or depression will know the
feeling of worrying about something
that you don’t want to say out loud.
‘What if I say something stupid in the
meeting, and everyone laughs at me?’
However irrational a fear may be,
we know that keeping our worries
to ourselves can give them more
power. New tech app Koko aims
to change that, in a Facebook style
format it asks users, ‘What’s wrong?’
After anonymously posting your
worry, other users are encouraged
to respond, helping to reassure the
person to rationalise the worry that
they’re having. Similar to Cognitive
Behavioural Therapy (CBT), the
app appears to be based on thoughtchallenging, allowing the person to
see the objective truth of a situation
rather than feeding the anxiety.
As someone who has had CBT
for depression, I found the app
a useful, immediate way of putting thought-challenging into
action. Not only does it give
you an impartial voice to
help alleviate your negative
thoughts, but it connects you
with other people in a time
when you may be feeling
very lonely. And the most
important bit – it’s all
anonymous, so no matter how
silly you think your worry may be, you
can post it without fear of judgement.
Of course like every technology it
has its limitations. The potential for
trolling on a network which connects
vulnerable people means that it needs
to be militantly regulated. Despite its
effectiveness for every day worries,
I think we have to draw the line when
posting about serious life problems.
Tayana, London
Sleepio
www.sleepio.com
Sleepio is an app that as the name
suggests tries to help those who suffer
with sleep problems. It is offered as a
free trial but there are a range of subscription options for those who wish
to continue using it on a regular basis.
The app offers help with a number
of common sleep problems –
struggling to fall asleep, waking up in
the night and uneven sleep patterns.
After identifying the problem you
want to tackle, you run through a
series of questions about your habits,
daily routine and worries to build
up a picture of what issues may be
contributing to your sleep problems.
The App Professor then uses this
information to assess your sleep efficiency and devise an improvement
programme. In soft, measured tones,
the app talks the user through the
reasons for sleep problems occurring
and what is going on in the brain.
It also tries to explain how we feel
when struggling to sleep and suggests
techniques to try to control the
feelings of anxiety that not being
able to sleep can bring.
In addition, there are tips on how to
establish a good sleep routine and exercises to help the user to overcome their
problem and improve sleep efficiency.
For someone like me with a mild
problem, the app was useful for identifying a few tweaks that I could make
to my routine that could help to minimise future bad nights, but I think it
would come into its own for someone
that is really struggling to sleep well.
Des, Surrey
Letters
Your letters & emails
Do you have something to get off
your chest? A question or a tip to
help other DA members?
We love getting your feedback so write or email
your thoughts to Depression Alliance.
Our letter of the month wins a
£15 voucher to spend in Marks
& Spencer or Debenhams
Letter
of the
month
Good sleep routine
I would like to respond to two very
interesting articles in the last issue of Single Step
(Summer 2015): ‘Being Mindful of Mindfulness’ –
like Tanya Simons I find my own moments and
methods of mindfulness – bus journeys – especially
longer ones, are what I love. No responsibilities, no
“catch-up chores”, nothing to sort out, just sitting
relaxing, observing, to the point of almost sublime
calmness. I can literally feel as if I’m gradually being
consumed gently by an inner peace. I also agree
100 per cent that no one should ever be made to
feel they should be able to cope without medication.
I have tried many different therapies and courses,
and each has helped me in its own way at the time
but it’s my medication which keeps me well and
mentally healthy.
Kaitlyn, whose blog was published on the Letters
page, touched upon the importance of sleep
hygiene. Speaking as someone who for most of my
life (even as a child) could not sleep until the dawn
chorus lulled me to sleep – I have at last developed
my own technique to ease myself to sleep. When I
first settle down I lie on my back and then I allow all
intrusive thoughts to flit around noisily in my head
like a colony of bats. But I observe them, rather than
be controlled and disturbed by them. I accept the
chaos but have created a distance between myself
and it. After a certain time, perhaps 15 to 30mins
I feel I am ready to turn away from the chaos, leave
it behind and I then turn onto my left side and a
new feeling of relaxation wraps around me, which
I sink into, my breathing now naturally slower.
When I am ready to embrace sleep I then turn over
onto my right side, breathing now naturally more
deeply and sleep – now my friend embraces me.
This technique can be tweaked according to individual needs, ideas, so don’t let the night demons
control you, take control and run them out of town.
Mary, London
18
Single Step Winter 2016
One of our Friends in Need members has written this poem
which we would like to share among readers of Single Step.
Today I feel alone, tomorrow I will too
‘No’ it whispers in my head ‘I’m depression, I’m with you’
It says it is my friend, it tells me what to do
As I shut the door and curtains and hide myself from view
The tears they sting my eyes whilst depression holds me close
Whilst in its grip I cry I can’t release its force
It’s been with me for years, we’ve been through thick and thin
‘I know you best of all’, as it looks at me and grins
Sometimes we lose contact, it’s busy so it seems
But not too far down the line, ‘I’m back!’ it yells and screams
It follows me around, it hates to see me smile
It says it feels left out, I feel guilty for a while
It likes to see me sad, it says it understands
‘Come walk with me again’, it cries, ‘I will hold your hand’
At night away from view, when alone and scared
It shares with me the razor blade, equipped and well prepared
Close by in the background, urging me to harm
It compliments with insults, all part of its charm
‘Why are you ungrateful, there is no better friend?
I’ve been with you forever, I’ll stay until the end’
Sometimes it really pushes me, encouragement it says
‘Haven’t you had enough yet, I can lead the way
Why be here anyway, no one loves or even cares’
It often loses patience, ‘Come on, let’s climb the stairs’
It is my bestest friend I guess, it knows me inside out
But for some unknown reason, its intentions I somewhat doubt
For I have another friend, I don’t see it much
I don’t know its name, I can’t feel its touch
It follows me around, it doesn’t say a thing
But I often feel its presence from underneath its wing
Its voice is faint and distant, is it even there
I have to strain to listen, ‘I’m here and I care’
I can’t accept those words, I’m being bossed around
Depression isn’t happy, of hope that’s now been found
It says I must forget it, it says ‘it isn’t real
There is no friendship stronger than ours, I am the real deal
I tell you all the truths, I shelter you from lies
I guide you through the bad times, be thankful I’m your life’
I sit with it again, once more in its embrace
‘See depression is always here for you’ the smile lines its face
My heart feels low and heavy, my tears fall to my frown
My eyes all black and weathered, my mind so very down
I’m still in search of happiness, that great and golden catch
That brilliance of wonder is that my perfect match?
I’ll cast my line and hope that one day I will surely find
That little fish called happiness who can swim around my mind
Until that very day when I escape these tears
I’ll never be alone, depression is all I hear
Lauren Snaith
Fundraiser profile
Tony Mears, Leeds
Wore a 30kg weighted vest for a week
“My partner and I moved to Leeds but we didn’t know anyone and over
the months a combination of stress and other factors led my partner
to develop anxiety and depression. She eventually sought medical help
and it occurred to me that had I known about Depression Alliance sooner
she might not have struggled so much.
The reason I chose to wear the vest was that my partner described
dealing with depression, and sometimes anxiety, as like carrying a
weight. It was an extremely difficult concept for me to grasp – and
I imagine even harder for those not living with a loved one that suffers
with depression. The vest was 30kg – broadly the same as a goat,
a seven-year-old child or 30 bags of sugar. I took it off to sleep, and
to shower, otherwise I was in it the whole time. Sitting wasn’t a rest as
the stress was over the shoulders, walking was like climbing a mountain,
and I nearly passed out when I tried to keep up in a boxing session!
After the challenge the feedback I got from friends, whom I had no idea
were battling depression, was incredible. I like to think people who hadn’t
thought about how hard depression can be were provoked to think deeper.”
60 seconds with...
Christina Bengston
Our Marketing Coordinator for Friends in Need
What does a Marketing Coordinator
for Friends in Need do?
It’s my job to make sure that people know about
Friends in Need. I give presentations and information to doctors, therapists, pharmacists and
most importantly, members of the public, to let
them know the help that is available to them.
Why Depression Alliance?
Mental health and wellbeing is hugely
important to me. I have been affected by anxiety
and a sound sensitivity condition known as
misophonia for all of my adult life but it wasn’t
until my early 30s that a very good friend gave
me the courage to ask for the help I needed.
What do you enjoy most about your job?
Coming up with ideas and planning new ways
to market Friends in Need. I also really enjoy
getting out and about at events. We have regular
information stalls at libraries and other local
venues and it feels amazing when you meet
someone who tells you that Friends in Need
is exactly what they’ve been looking for.
What are your wellbeing essentials?
I find looking after my body is so important.
Getting outside and doing some exercise always
makes me feel so much better. I like to go for long
runs along the canal. It gives me a chance to clear
my head, look around at the wildlife (I’m a big
fan of herons) and get those endorphins flowing.
What are you most looking forward
to at DA in the coming months?
I’m most looking forward to reaching out to even
more people who might benefit from Friends
in Need. There’s still not enough awareness of
Depression Alliance among GPs and so that’s one
area I want to work on and improve next year.
Get your
runners on!
Help fundraise for
Depression Awareness Week
18 April 2016
For more information please email
[email protected]
or check out our website
www.depressionalliance.org/get-involved/